#modern ned stark

[uluthrek]

au in which robert, the starks and the lannisters play monopoly instead of going hunting and pushing each other‘s kids from towers.

tyrion implements a tax system to make things more interesting and fights cersei over the cat for a solid ten minutes.

around thirty minutes into the game, catelyn realizes that she has free will and stops paying taxes.

arya and sansa haggle over new york avenue, which ends up being bought by theon. this causes the two to completely cast aside their differences, ally and subsequently start doing everything in their power to make theon‘s life hell.

theon himself is quite severely stoned the entire time throughout.

ned enters horrendous debt pretty much immediately and, after two hours of being financially sucked dry by both cersei and his tax evader of a wife, decides to just place his figurine in jail and never leave.

jon, playing the dog, controls the railroads and makes jaime, playing the ship, go completely broke within minutes. being beaten by a bastard and officially the first to lose the game makes jaime so mad he spends the rest of the evening perched on the family‘s ancestral armchair eating flaming hot cheetos and stifling sobs.

cersei is holding onto her last two dollars and her one house in atlantic avenue like a maniac and evades taxes like it‘s an olympic sport. she claims ownership of kentucky avenue on the grounds that red is her house‘s color at least twice. after three hours, she‘s consumed enough vintage red to kill a large mammal and keeps quoting the art of war. fascinatingly enough, she never goes completely broke.

robert, just as broke and drunk as his wife but not nearly as ferocious, proposes marriage for tax advantages to bran, who is in possession of the boardwalk and lets him dangle on his proposition for two rounds before accepting and feeling like a benevolent god.

sansa sees this and immediately proposes to arya, who accepts, only for them to be sued by their mother for public indecency („you‘re siblings, jesus christ!“). arya argues that this is just a game and that one could argue that robert‘s and bran‘s marital alliance is just as if not even more inappropriate, considering that bran is seven and robert thirtyseven. sansa countersues her mother for tax evasion, who promises she‘ll drop her lawsuit if her daughters let her keep hoarding perverse amounts of wealth. „love wins!“ arya says, which causes jaime, still perched on the armchair but now eating old nan‘s home made whiskey truffles, to hysterically sob. cersei stares him down.

robb, in a rare moment of almost prophetic foresight, excuses himself one hour in and goes on a very, VERY long walk with grey wind.

tyrion, whose tax system has spectacularly backfired in his face, proposes marriage to catelyn, jon and cersei in rapid succession, who all turn him down. „i wish i was the monster you think i am. i wish i had enough poison for the whole pack of you. i would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.“ he screams before he leaves the table.

at that, joffrey, who has refused to participate and instead sits on the couch playing doom on his nintendo ds, starts hysterically laughing. tyrion turns on his heel and awards his nephew with the bitchslap of the century. this causes cersei to completely abandon the game and chase after him with a broom. catelyn makes sure that everyone is distracted by the lannister antics and then reaches across the table and bags cersei‘s money and properties.

with a heavy heart, myrcella trades arya and sansa one of her limited edition bayala schleich unicorns for park place.

at this point, the game is between the tycoons that are catelyn and jon, the bran-robert alliance, the arya-sansa-alliance, and ned, who is still in jail and watching ice hockey on his phone under the table. that is when catelyn hears rickon gagging and discovers that he, in the absence of tyrion, the self declared bank manager, has managed to eat all bank notes from the box.

rickon gets his stomach pumped, cersei and tyrion have both been arrested, theon is still stoned, arya, sansa and myrcella have wandered off to go play schleich horses, and jon remains at the table, alone, content, and quietly considering himself the winner.

[jeyneofpoole]

theon and robb and jon are in the stark family basement playing cod theon’s trying to get robb to smoke euron’s crazy weed strain named like kraken pussy or something but robb’s so scared. of the kraken pussy. jon needs no convincing he is actually dying on a beanbag two inches from theon who doesn’t care. robb is so paranoid that he gets up every two minutes to crack open the door and check that ned and cat are still at their boozy axethrowing date night. robb tries to smoke but they quickly discover his latent asthma and one very panicked call to sam (experienced asthmatic) later theon and jon are coaching robb through deep breathing exercises. when ned and cat come home they think there’s a teen pregnancy moment happening in their basement NO it’s just jon and theon doing birthing breath control with their honor roll teenage son huddled over a baggie of weed called kraken pussy.

[amber-laughs]

so lyanna brings home from college this platinum blonde twink who got her name tattooed on his arm after the second date but they’re polite about it (not brandon!) like ned thinks maybe it’s just his older brother bias and is trying to see him from lya’s perspective “hmm this guys handsome i guess, he’s older, he’s rich, passionate. sure we’ll give it a go i mean she’s young they’ll break up soon right? right lyanna? RIGHT??” brandon’s disgusted. rhaegar actually went to an adjacent high school that always beat his school’s football team and brandon always thought his instagram poetry was ass. benjen, lyanna’s little pet dog basically, thinks rhaegar’s great and “you guys if you’re gonna date lyanna you should love her enough to get her named tattooed on you” until she brings benjen to one of rhaegar’s open mics and he has to sit there while they make out and listen to 3 songs about sex with his sister. she’s pregnant 3 weeks later btw

[jonsahater4live]

modern theon is an bisexual icon/loser, he wanted to fuck both cat and ned, tells robb every time when he seas cersei lannister that she wants him so bad (he once tried to hit on her and she hit him so hard that he nearly blacked out but when anyone asked about the bruise he said that it was an sm game) and robb totally believes him. he and jon had once or twice hate sex but it ended because there was to much hate and far to less sex in theons opinion. theon, like in canon tried to bang asha and she told everyone wich will be brought up by everyone in every dispute to mock theon. naturally he was in a (abusive) relationship with ramsay and still lost a finger to this. he tried to hit on sansa when she became 16 and cat, pissed off because theon was 24 still lived with them, (they thought he woild go out of theyre foster care once he turned 18) fucked very vocaly on the attic (his room), always calls her a milf, tried to get ned into some weard daddy kink and is in i relationship with robb (she thinks he could get someone better) throws him out. theon just comes back after two weeks because he lost all his money to buisness ideas and slept by ramsay, whom drugged him and cut off one of his toes. you can say that the dinners at the stark house are aquard after all this

[alderaan-went-kaboom]

"He hardly knew me or I him. Love didn’t just happen to us. "

Fake Dating AU Where Ned Stark and Catelyn Tully are both actors

an arranged marriage was basically fake dating

normal people i'm literally still inside you scene.

[slymreddwyne]

Ned and Robert in college

[alaynasansa]

Modern AU -> Sansa doing a PowerPoint to explain to Ned why they must stop the old singer from leaving Winterfell

[mormontdacey]

cheaper by the dozen 2 is all over my fyp and it's a favorite childhood movie so. stark/baratheon-lannister au

ned stark and robert baratheon were childhood friends. when the kids were young, they all used to go to the lake together but ned and robert fell out hard when robert tried to date ned's little sister lyanna

buuuut sansa's got a big time fashion internship coming up this fall in king's landing so ned's like we gotta go back to the lake!! one last time!! for family!!

they show up at the lake and ned's rented a dinky little oyster shack across from robert's mcmansion called storm's end

robert's got a hot young heiress trophy wife, cersei, and three golden children (plus gendry from a prev relationship)

rickon sets off fireworks at a clambake that causes a boat to blow up and bran to roll into the lake

sideplot: ned keeps bothering robb about what they're gonna name his and jeyne's baby

theon (ned's reluctantly adopted loser son) falls off the shitty old dock that ned's fixing because he's craning his neck trying to check out that hot blonde college girl with the lower back tattoo swimming by (myrcella)

robert invites the starks to storm's end for brunch (his and cersei's mimosas are 90% champagne) and does not stop talking about how their family china was a gift from the prince of dorne so ned recruits arya (who recruits rickon) to mess with robert. cue meat seat scene with shaggydog

also theon spills mimosas on cat and she has to wear the hot mama shirt that she borrowed from cersei

afterward, robert calls the starks crackups and ned convinces cat to enter the stupid cup competition again..even though none of the kids want to

gendry asks arya out (sansa helps her get ready) and we get "the move" scene with ned and robert in the movie theatre

next morning, everyone is so grossed out by ned going full helicopter dad that only rickon goes to the competition with him... but cat gives a speech about "the pack" and everyone shows up just in time. ned's nephew who tagged along (jon) is carrying the raggedy old WINTER IS COMING flag and his gf val is pushing bran's wheelchair

jeyne goes into labor during the do-or-die canoe race and robb FREAKS and the starks throw away the championship. cersei refuses to get out of her canoe so she ends up drifting with joffrey while the others go to help the starks. (robert's mostly treading water, but she doesn't care)

[adarkandmagicalforest]

sansa starks favorite shoes are a pair of vintage, baby blue manolo blahnik mary janes with a cream ribbon

[crownedtargaryen]

modern!got/hotd. - character building

(a/n): this is my own interpretation of modern!au got and hotd. if you disagree with me on some ideas, I truly do not care. this post can be used for story ideas and references for modern!au fics. if you’d like me to add a specific house, I will do so! this can be changed into a college!au as well. all notes are appreciated. tag list: @hopelesswritergall @twizzy123 @daenerysapologist @clairacassidy

The Stark family is well known for being extroverted and friendly individuals who love outdoor activities, sports, and almost anything that gets their blood pumping! They're known to show unreasonable amounts of loyalty to their passions, peers, partners, and family; sometimes being described as almost dog-like. They're proud owners of the Winterfell Wolf Sanctuary, where they teach the wolves who cannot move out into the wild to adapt to humans, their new environment, and even other animals. Each Stark is bonded to a wolf pup at age 10, raised alongside the beast and learning to love them as family and not just a pet.

main characters.

Cregan Stark, Jock: Adopted Cousin, taken in by Ned Stark. Co-Captain and proud defense player of the Iron High hockey team alongside Jacaerys. He's often been described by his peers as ambitious and family-focused, very territorial and defensive of his blood. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

Robb Stark, Jock: Star quarterback of the Iron High football team. He's often been described by his peers as a playful and tough-loving individual. He shares his territorial sense with his cousin, Cregan, defending his name with pride while also befriending anyone, no matter how different they are from him. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

Jon Snow, Middle-Grounded: Step-brother to the Starks, apart of the Iron High poetry club. He's often been described by his peers as mysterious and mildly-aggravating. To be honest, he dances around clubs and tries to find an after school activity that "speaks to him." He knows nothing about poetry, but he continues to go to the meetings merely to seem edgy, “deep”, and mysterious, which pisses off Aemond Targaryen. (Straight)

Brandon Stark, Nerd: Organizer of the Iron High eSports team. He's often been described by his peers as self-reserved and passionate. After losing his ability to walk, he needed to feel involved in something. He Twitch streams in his spare time, mostly practicing for tournaments with his friends on the team. He grows insecure over his loss of feeling in his legs and feel mildly pathetic, but can't bring himself to admit it. (Straight, Demisexual)

Arya Stark, Sporty: Star batter of the Iron High softball team. She’s often been described by her peers as competitive and passionate. She finds herself making small things a competition, urging to win and prove her worth to those around her. Though, underneath it all she’s struggling with romantic feelings, trying to identify her true sexuality and self. (Bicurious)

Sansa Stark, Popular: Running for student body president against Rhaena Targaryen. She’s often been described by her peers as sociable and kind. Though under her kind facade, she can be quite judgmental and catty when it comes to certain people. Definitely two faced on occasion. (Straight, Asexual)

The Targaryen family is well known for their sly and intelligent bloodline, that also ties into the Velaryon line. They’re a mix between sociable and lacking desire for social interaction with those around them, tending to go about tasks that test their smarts rather than their athletic capabilities. They’re said to start arguments that they know they can win and play games of wits to get what they please, which causes them to butt heads with the Lannisters. They can be seen as almost snake like. Each Targaryen child owns their own reptile, mostly based on personality. Their parents saw it as an outlet to keep responsibility and build emotional connections since most Targaryen children are neglected by their parents, and they can be seen as undesirable from time to time, which makes them lack friends.

main characters.

Aemond Targaryen, Mildly Popular: Though he isn’t apart of any specific activities or extracurricular activities, he can be seen with his siblings on most occasions. He’s often described by his peers as sly and cocky. People think they’re friends with him, but he truly as no interest in them and doesn’t remember their names. You can find him with Helaena, helping her with tutoring students, or with Aegon as his designated driver. He spends his time studying when not looking after his blood. When he was younger, his cousin had accidentally cut his eye while they were hunting, which had sent him into a entirely different personality, and Lucerys into disciplinary action and house arrest though the action was not intentional. (Demisexual, Demiromantic)

Aegon II Targaryen, Player Jock: Left-Wing hockey player on the Iron High hockey team. He’s often described by his peers as flirtatious and manipulative. He was hit the most by his parent’s neglectful ways, drowning himself in sexual relations and alcohol at they parties he goes to. You can often find him feeling up women at college parties, kissing on their necks and trying to get in their pants to feel some sort of relief in his life. Though, he holds terrible commitment issues and leaves the men and women he messes with immediately after getting what he needs from them. (Bisexual, Demiromantic)

Helaena Targaryen, Popular: Hosts tutoring for those who need it at Iron High. She’s often described by her peers as shy and gentle hearted. Her fascination with the outside world and aesthetics is both strange to most but can also be seen as admirable. Though she doesn’t go out of her way to talk to those around her, she seems to have accumulated an abundance of friends in the years of attending school. (Biromantic, Demisexual)

Daeron Targaryen, Social Butterfly: Though he has no true social status at Iron High due to being in the shadow of his brothers, sister, and cousins, he’s still known by quite a few. He’s often been described by her peers as exciting and adventurous. He holds deep insecurity for his lack of popularity like the rest of his family, but he continues to try to be open and exciting. He loves to go out with his sister, Helaena, during lunch and feed the small bugs pieces of fruit. (Biromantic, Asexual)

Rhaena Targaryen, Popular: Running for student body president against Sansa Stark. She’s often been described by her peers as kindhearted and easygoing. In her days of making friends, she tries to involve herself with every group without discrimination. She’s very well known for her genuine kindness and playfulness. (Straight, Demisexual)

Baela Targaryen, Sporty: Proud member of the Iron High pole vaulting and weightlifting team. She’s often been described by her peers as prideful and feisty. She is openly bisexual and close with her cousin Helaena and Arya Stark. She’s very open about herself and presents herself honestly, a powerful and passion driven young woman. (Bisexual)

Daenerys Targaryen, Popular: Distant cousin to the Targaryens, she’s well known for her beauty and kindness in competition to Cersei’s. Her peers often describe her as emotion driven and a pacifist. Wildly loved by all, but spited by some, her kindness spreads within the walls of Iron High and her aspirations drive her and others toward their future goals, attempting to motivate and befriend those around her. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

The Velaryon family is well known for their ambition and balance in situations, enjoying the outdoors and physical activities unlike most of their cousins. They’re very kind souls, open to new things that’ll test their limits. They tend to become competitive at times, striving to please and be the best they can, though sometimes they can’t control themselves and sometimes people can get hurt. You often see them around the Stark kids, usually play wrestling with one another. Though, the Velaryon boys are products of a cheating scandal with their mother and a man named Harwin Strong, who soon ended up becoming their stepdad. Though, she holds a love for another who most speculate is Daemon Targaryen.

main characters.

Jacaerys Velaryon, Studious Jock: Co-Captain with Cregan and goalie on the Iron High hockey team. He’s often described by his peers as easygoing and loyal. A dedicated man to his work, you can often find him studying in his cousin’s study group to try to balance his grades with his sport. Though, occasionally he’s at parties trying to find a relaxation point between his schooling and constant training. That dedication makes him a ladies man, even though he’s merely kind to them and hasn’t intentionally tried to make anyone swoon. (Demiromantic, Demisexual)

Lucerys Velaryon, Extroverted Sporty: Goalie for the Iron High soccer team, he’s not very passionate about the sport he’s pursued in and is hoping to join his brother on the hockey team once the season rolls around. He’s often described by his peers as exciting and innocent. Girls tend to flock around him since he’s quite the small cutie, and he doesn’t seem to enjoy the attention too much. He’s very focused on his brother and protecting him from the other people who are eyeing him down, not understanding completely why so many girls take a liking to the two. (Straight, Demisexual)

The Lannister family are well known for their pride and riches, their children spoiled rotten and blessed with beauty as well. Though they aren’t very physically active, they make up for it with their manipulative and convincing personas. It’s known that if you challenge an Lannister to a battle of wits and cleverness, you will come out a loser. That is, unless you’re a Targaryen. It’s hard to match the passive aggressive personality of a Lannister as well as their ability to masterfully lie to those around them. Though, the Lannister children face abandonment issues and a craving for their father’s approval after their mother’s passing. So, it leaves them lashing out on those around them.

main characters.

Cersei Lannister, Popular: Not involved in many activities after she had stopped cheerleading due to suspicions of her and her brother Jaime being TOO close, she’s mostly seen painting her frustrations away in the art room during lunch. She’s often been described by her peers as two-faced and defensive. She has many friends and is well known for her beauty within the school, but no one is safe from her rumors. No matter how close you think you are to her, she will never find you desirable and will talk lowly of you at any moment. (Bicurious, Demisexual)

Jaime Lannister, Jock: Linebacker for the Iron High football team, he’s very passionate about the role he plays in this school. He’s been often described by his peers as “the good Lannister” and awfully cocky. Some people find his self confidence bothersome and distasteful, while others find it endearing. Though, he spends quite a bit of his time near his sister, which makes people raise questions on how close they REALLY are. (Bisexual with female preference.)

Tyrion Lannister, Party Animal: Much like Aegon, the drinks and women are a way to bury his deep feelings. He’s often described by his peers as witty and sly. When short guy season comes around, you’d be surprised by the amount of women that are on him. Though he tries to remain humble, as he puts it, by keeping his body count a mystery. (Straight)

[yerevasunclair]

An Awkward Meeting

What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into, Rickon?

Catelyn contemplated, as she sat beside Ned on a private room past the kindergarten classrooms with Rickon’s teacher. Rickon was a wild 6 year old boy, but he was not of the sort to participate in bullying, or whatever matter it is that has summoned her and Ned into this Saturday meeting. Her children never had problems that required the school’s guidance counsel, but the brood etched on Ms. Tomlinson’s face has her overthinking.

“Mr. and Mrs. Stark. As Rickon’s homeroom adviser and substitute for Mrs. Blunt as counsellor, I have called for the both of you on this very confidential meeting for a very disconcerting reason.”

“Disconcerting reason?” Ned frowned. “What offence has my son committed, Ms. Tomlinson?”

“It’s not about his misbehavior.”, she emphasized clearly, “He is a very energetic and smart child but he’s never violent towards other kids. I’m afraid, however, that he is a witness of violence…” she stated the word violence with hesitance but marshalled her courage to be straightforward, “He has confessed to me an incident of abuse between his parents.”

“What?!” Ned bellowed in shock and turmoil.

“Is this true, Mrs. Stark?” Ms. Tomlinson turned her head to her.

“Abuse? No! Not at all! Wait, why on earth would Rickon think we’re abusing each other?”

“He approached me during lunch break yesterday and asked a lot of questions about how to defend someone from a bigger opponent and what a child should do if the parents that the child both love are hurting each other. I simply told him that it is wrong for Mummy and Daddy to fight but that it is not his full responsibility or power to stop or interfere with whatever problems Mummy and Daddy were having.”

“Ms. Tomlinson, I attest that my husband is not abusing me. We have a harmonious marriage and as parents, we unconditionally love our children with all our hearts.”

“Yet your child says otherwise. Rickon told me, it occurred on Thursday. Robb and Bran picked him up in his classroom and went home. His brothers had to pay a visit to their neighborhood friends to invite them to the park but he wanted to go home straight away to watch his favorite evening cartoons. Bran gave him the keys to the house and heard a noise from the entrance. He slowly opened the door and tracked where the slapping and crying noise was coming from. Then he saw you on the living room, Mr. Stark, pulling his mother’s hair. As for you, Mrs. Stark, you were underneath, struggling and groaning in pain. Rickon thinks you were trying to wrestle him so your husband would stop, but he’s shoved you harshly on the floor. He was worried you wouldn’t win against him, so he stood still. He wanted to fully see the situation for himself to help but his brother Robb came behind him, covered his mouth and carried him out of the house in fear. He asked his brother what was going on but your Robb has zipped his lip tight. Robb told him he will not say a thing and that the both of you are to answer to it.”

Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuccckkk.

They got caught this second time around. Her erotic desires had soared so high and their determination to obtain privacy were frustratingly interrupted by the children quadruple times. First, was when Sansa and Arya started screaming at each other. Their high-pitched yells postponed their passionate kissing in the walk-in wardrobe and stopped Ned’s unbuttoning of her blouse and her unbuckling of his belt. Catelyn fixed herself and went down to the girls’ quarters. She arrived just in time to hamper them from pulling each other’s hairs for the reason that Arya borrowed some of Sansa’s clothes without Sansa’s permission. Catelyn could not discern how they got into such squabble, when in fact they were excessively spoiled by Ned and always got what they want. It turned out that Arya was only seeking attention, finding humor in taunting or provoking Sansa’s anger. As a resolve, Ned gave Arya an amount of money to buy clothes that were to her liking or similar to Sansa’s style on the condition that she will not borrow Sansa’s clothes anymore.

Second, was when the boys were the only ones at home. Sansa and Arya spent the whole weekend sleeping over on their respective group mate’s house to finish strenuous school project and paper works. On Sunday, the boys went out of the house and played rugby football for the whole afternoon. Ned still had to negotiate with his investors through lengthy business calls which made her impatient. When he came out of his study, he found her baking snacks for the boys. While the cookies waited in the oven, Ned hastily pushed her against the kitchen wall, nearly pulling her legs to surround his hips. All of a sudden, Robb and Bran raced into the house and sought for a rope to help Rickon out of the slippery pit. Rickon actually fell on a muddy excavation beyond an “under construction” signage as he ran backwards without watching to catch a rugby ball in the rain. After Rickon washed himself, he had a few scrapes on his knee and palms as he still tried to climb out while waiting for Ned and his brothers’ rescue.

The third and fourth was when one of the children had to knock on their bedroom because a close friend or distant relative paid an unexpected visit on the weekdays, as they dropped by before getting along with their itineraries in Europe.

The fifth time, was when the children had to be trained to take a walk or the public transport on their way home after their sports or choir practices. Ned fetched Catelyn from her workplace, as the both of them had finished work quite early. As soon as they arrived home, they had successfully got into two rounds, her, straddling him on the couch as he suckled her underneath her shirt before she was springing on him. The next, was when he tackled her to the floor and she positioned herself like an alpha female.

Her ‘Ohs’ and ‘Ahs’ echoed aloud as Ned ferociously pushed on her from behind and spanked her backside to urge her to move to the rhythm. The erogenous music rang in her diverted head, and she felt herself getting wet at the memory of it, while Ms. Tomlinson prated about how marital conflicts, physical maltreatment damage a child’s mental and emotional health.

“There is a misunderstanding. Ms. Tomlinson. We were not beating up each other. We were… we were…” Ned tried to clear his tightening, dry throat to buy time to hatch a stupid, nonsense excuse.

We got caught. No wonder why they altogether came home at 8:30 that night. Oh shit, Ned.

“It seems we were caught red-handed, Ms. Tomlinson.” Catelyn found an ambiguous word for it, much to Ned’s relief. 

“Red-handed?” Ms. Tomlinson asked confounded, trying to figure out what specific wrong deed they committed. 

“It seems quite a worrisome matter, Ms. Tomlinson. But the bottom line is no form of abuse has ever occurred or is occurring in our household. There is only a misunderstanding, a common misunderstanding that my husband and I can resolve by ourselves.” Catelyn said calmly while Ned nodded in agreement. 

“Yes, it’s just a misunderstanding. We have planned to discuss it with them tonight so there’s truly nothing to worry about, Ms. Tomlinson. We love our children and their welfares are our principal priority.” Ned added with a supporting statement. 

Ms. Tomlinson stared at the both of them for a long span of time, reading their facial expressions or body language and even their minds. The Stark couple were not giving away any suspicious signs. 

“Alright, then. If that’s truly the case, then I trust your claims. You’ve been exemplary parents and role models as evidenced by your constant presence in the school’s activities and your children’s good personalities and aptitudes. So, this meeting is done. Thank you for your time, Mr. and Mrs. Stark.” 

“You’re most welcome.” Ned said with a smile, pretending that he was fine.

“We’re grateful for your concern,” Catelyn said as they all stood up and shook hands with her. They were both glad it was all over sooner than expected and Ms. Tomlinson did not investigate more heavily regarding the specifics of that ‘misunderstanding’.  

Ned led Catelyn out of the door first and after he closed the door behind them, he smirked and whispered, 

“Red-handed. Good Riddance.”

“The groans, the hair pulling, floor shoving, the slapping? Several clues and she still could not figure it out? Is she that clueless?”

“Definitely..." Ned grinned. 

"Or probably she reached that conclusion and didn’t know what to do about it so she dismissed us, hahaha.” Catelyn laughed with a hint of victory. 

“Does Rickon know we were going to have this meeting with Ms. Tomlinson?” 

“No, I didn’t tell him of course.”

“He doesn’t know it from us, Cat. But what about Ms. Tomlinson? What else has she been telling the poor boy? What other questions has Rickon been asking her that he’s afraid to ask us?”

“I don’t know, Ned.”  

As they were briskly walking down the stairs to the school parking lot, Catelyn shortly reminisced to that day when she asked 14 year old Robb about school. Robb told his parents about his biology teacher showing them an educational, animated video about the reproductive system’s anatomy and physiology. Robb awkwardly and carelessly confessed for the first time that the video honestly reminded him of them and why he has so many siblings. Robb told them further in detail what his 6 year old eyes saw and that he walked quietly back to his room because he thought they were busy, just like with work. She was aghast while Ned nearly choked on his kidney pies. There was no more covering up or lying about it and they gave him the sex education that he needed because he was mature enough. The difference with Robb’s situation to Rickon’s was that Robb never told anyone while Rickon told Ms. Tomlinson. 

“I should have been more careful. I’m so sorry.” Ned exasperated, feeling like he was the most terrible parent in the world. 

“It’s neither our fault, Ned. We didn’t see it coming. We did not intend for it to happen.... Ned, that’s not our car, our car is 10 meters to the left side.” Cat grabbed his hand as he was going to the wrong direction. This was one of the  few times Cat saw Ned being deeply worried and bothered. 

“Cat, how do we explain it to Rickon? Should we explain it to him right away? What’s the right explanation? Or should we just ignore all of this and say nothing as if it didn’t happen at all? How can we handle this one better than we did before?” Ned went on and on as he searched for his keys in his pockets. 

“Ned, please. Relax.” she clasped on his elbow to halt him. 

“Look, I also don’t know what to do yet but we’ll figure it out, my love, okay?” she said facing him and taking his hand. 

“I’m just as ashamed and regretful about all this mess but I still don’t regret what we did. Not a pinch. That two-week business trip felt like months to me. It may be absurd to you but it drove me a little bit nuts...”

He did not know his 2 week absence was enough to drive her crazy but the gaze of her bright blue eyes was enough to calm him down. He breathed in deeply for a while and caressed her dainty face. 

 “Oh, Cat... I missed you just as much but this is a lesson learned, we can’t do it anywhere at home at any time recklessly.”

“Then where else do you suggest we do it?” she asked him in a slightly seductive tone as Ned took strands of her auburn hair in his fingers, placed them behind her ear then whispered,

“Come with me if you wish to discover the mystery.”

The couple wasted no time, went inside the car and headed fast to the secret, romantic escapade he built for the two of them. 

=END= for @ladycatofwinterfell

for @pattarainn @shining-m00nlight

[fineosaur-writes]

We’ll All Be Here Forever | e | chapter twelve: ned ii

a fic by @fineosaur and @stompandhollar

With the return of his sister, Lyanna, and more reminders of his old friend, Robert, Ned reflects on his past. He comforts Jon in his close encounter with Lyanna and tries to open up to Catelyn about certain revelations.

Over the years the Starks slowly find their way back to Winterfell. After Robb is the last to leave and first to return, more of his siblings filter back into their childhood home.

So much has changed, and yet so much is still the same. Between surviving their parents and adulthood, and their complicated romantic entanglements, the Starks find that their paths are easiest when they're together.

[escailyyy]

On today’s Episode of 'The Real Sansa and Tyrion', we get a look at the aftermath of the Red Wedding, aka, the Hollywood red tie event in which Dreamboat CEO Robb Stark, eloped with soap opera star Roslyn Frey (now referred to as wife #3) and resigned from his position in Winterfell Industries.

With Chairman Catelyn Stark and househusband Ned joining Robb and Roslyn in their honeymoon Cruise. Plus the rest of her family MIA. All the responsibility for the family business has been dumped on Sansa’s front porch. And our favourite celebrity Trophy Wife is not happy! Tune in for our next episode as the woes and annoyances of being the #QueenofTheNorth and being the #QueenofTheNorthHusband continue in Winterfell

An: how do you like the trs&t version of the red wedding debacle?

[snow-blower]

Ho ho ho. Mrs. Claus here with a lil smth smth. It ain't much but—

Modern AU Eddard Stark bot that is based on Miller's girl that I watched the other day. Minus all the sad bits ofc. It isn't much but I hope ya'll like it 🫣🫶

[jonsahater4live]

what each of the stark kids used to play with as children:

jon&robb: hardcore lego children, they always payed together lego ninjago and would never let out an episode. they watched it together every evening on toggo. they also loved lego starwars but because catelyn forbade them watching it they listened to the audios of it on cd and read every starwars book in they’re city library

sansa: she had lots of different play tings, barbie, lego friends, dolls, schleich, polly pocket and silvainian family but her favourite thing was playmobiel, she had the big house and all the sets for inside. she and jeanie would watch together family vogel on youtoube (shout out to the germans) and tried to play the storylines out with sansas sets. and also they hated family houser

arya: when she was younger sansa would force her to play dolls, but after time arya tried to play with jon and robb. they didnt let her play with them because she would destroy theyre “battle strategy” from the stormtroopers, so her hyper fixation became dinos! she would have every dino figure you could think of and she would tell you about every single one of them, she had dino tshirts and a dino rainsuit like this:

bran: was an outdoor kid, but after he “fell” he started playing minecraft and since then is extremly fascinated by it.

rickon: nerf. but then bren was in the coma no one had time for him and his nerf guns so he got an ipad to play a little bit roblox but since then no one has seen him without it. catelyn is deeply ashamed that she made an ipad kid.

theon: played with his brothers water bording, he was the victim. once asked his father to play dolls with him and asha, he hit him

[daggermaiden]

The American Roommate Experiment, but with Jaime Lannister, who secretly saves all of Ned's Instagram photos, and cool Ned Stark, who arrived at his brother's wedding and stayed at his brother's place. Where suddenly appears Jaime Lannister (I don't know why, but!!)