#modern au asoiaf

[adarkandmagicalforest]

theon greyjoy the kinda guy to get an ear piercing and immediately switch it with gold despite the advice of the piercer (he immediately gets an infection and has to do a salt water soak every day, which makes him bitch and moan)

(jon snow calls him a moron and he and robb have to hold him down to force him to do the soak)

[stompandhollar]

in honor of Noah Kahan’s deluxe album coming out in a few days, here’s the cover for me and @fineosaur ‘s A Song of Ice and Fire fic :,) 🖤 Second chapter out soon 💌

dinner table art cred to @jordanklancaster on pintrest

[irlplasticlamb]

kool kids.

prints + merch + commission info pinned to profile :)

[lonelymagpies]

Drawn modern Aemond at the pool back in June and then forgot him there till summer’s ending 🫠

[nedseii]

📷!

[uluthrek]

au in which robert, the starks and the lannisters play monopoly instead of going hunting and pushing each other‘s kids from towers.

tyrion implements a tax system to make things more interesting and fights cersei over the cat for a solid ten minutes.

around thirty minutes into the game, catelyn realizes that she has free will and stops paying taxes.

arya and sansa haggle over new york avenue, which ends up being bought by theon. this causes the two to completely cast aside their differences, ally and subsequently start doing everything in their power to make theon‘s life hell.

theon himself is quite severely stoned the entire time throughout.

ned enters horrendous debt pretty much immediately and, after two hours of being financially sucked dry by both cersei and his tax evader of a wife, decides to just place his figurine in jail and never leave.

jon, playing the dog, controls the railroads and makes jaime, playing the ship, go completely broke within minutes. being beaten by a bastard and officially the first to lose the game makes jaime so mad he spends the rest of the evening perched on the family‘s ancestral armchair eating flaming hot cheetos and stifling sobs.

cersei is holding onto her last two dollars and her one house in atlantic avenue like a maniac and evades taxes like it‘s an olympic sport. she claims ownership of kentucky avenue on the grounds that red is her house‘s color at least twice. after three hours, she‘s consumed enough vintage red to kill a large mammal and keeps quoting the art of war. fascinatingly enough, she never goes completely broke.

robert, just as broke and drunk as his wife but not nearly as ferocious, proposes marriage for tax advantages to bran, who is in possession of the boardwalk and lets him dangle on his proposition for two rounds before accepting and feeling like a benevolent god.

sansa sees this and immediately proposes to arya, who accepts, only for them to be sued by their mother for public indecency („you‘re siblings, jesus christ!“). arya argues that this is just a game and that one could argue that robert‘s and bran‘s marital alliance is just as if not even more inappropriate, considering that bran is seven and robert thirtyseven. sansa countersues her mother for tax evasion, who promises she‘ll drop her lawsuit if her daughters let her keep hoarding perverse amounts of wealth. „love wins!“ arya says, which causes jaime, still perched on the armchair but now eating old nan‘s home made whiskey truffles, to hysterically sob. cersei stares him down.

robb, in a rare moment of almost prophetic foresight, excuses himself one hour in and goes on a very, VERY long walk with grey wind.

tyrion, whose tax system has spectacularly backfired in his face, proposes marriage to catelyn, jon and cersei in rapid succession, who all turn him down. „i wish i was the monster you think i am. i wish i had enough poison for the whole pack of you. i would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.“ he screams before he leaves the table.

at that, joffrey, who has refused to participate and instead sits on the couch playing doom on his nintendo ds, starts hysterically laughing. tyrion turns on his heel and awards his nephew with the bitchslap of the century. this causes cersei to completely abandon the game and chase after him with a broom. catelyn makes sure that everyone is distracted by the lannister antics and then reaches across the table and bags cersei‘s money and properties.

with a heavy heart, myrcella trades arya and sansa one of her limited edition bayala schleich unicorns for park place.

at this point, the game is between the tycoons that are catelyn and jon, the bran-robert alliance, the arya-sansa-alliance, and ned, who is still in jail and watching ice hockey on his phone under the table. that is when catelyn hears rickon gagging and discovers that he, in the absence of tyrion, the self declared bank manager, has managed to eat all bank notes from the box.

rickon gets his stomach pumped, cersei and tyrion have both been arrested, theon is still stoned, arya, sansa and myrcella have wandered off to go play schleich horses, and jon remains at the table, alone, content, and quietly considering himself the winner.

[seaworthee]

no, girl.

[soup-in-my-fly]

Rhymes with freak

[winter2468]

ASOIAF modern AU I am working an office job at the generic Lannister Company and it's shit, the company culture is shit but the pay is actually kind of decent and I tell myself I can stick it out. I get stuck in the queue for the office coffee machine behind Tyrion Lannister (we both have insomnia. skipping the morning espresso is not an option). The previous and only time I saw him he was very drunk at an office party and I'm not sure if he remembers and I don't want to ask. His phone keeps buzzing. Apparently his recently disabled older brother is in some kind of Twitter feud with a championship woman fencer for reasons which remain unclear. We bitch about the woefully inadequate workplace disability adjustments for 5-10 mins until the coffee machine is free. We both want height-adjustable desks for our various disabilities but Tywin Lannister is Not splashing out for that. A week later I open my phone to check the morning news and Tyrion Lannister is missing on the run for shooting his father with a fucking crossbow. And scene.

[gracielikegrapes]

Modern!AU

[varoness]

Modern au

[adarkandmagicalforest]

theon greyjoy the linecook who fumbles every waitress because he has tinder, bumble, hinge and grindr notifications constantly going off on his phone

[fatimaaart]

butch rhaenyra feels so right

[irlplasticlamb]

lovergirls.

prints + merch + dm for commission info

[msphagime]

Modern AU but Theon got kicked out of the Starks' house at 18 (because Catelyn just couldn't deal with him anymore and he was probably spreading his bad influence all over the children), got kicked out of the Greyjoy residence (because Balon disowned Euron a month before that so might as well get the other headache away from here), and is now living in a village in the middle of the Northern nowhere with two prostitutes (Kyra and Ros, who took him in because he's the only one that can cook with more than two ingredients (eggs and pan)) in a property given to them by Littlefinger in exchange for tax-free stweardship. And they go out into the city every day on a bus numbered 47 that passes by the village only at 6am and 6pm only on workdays for Theon to try and find work and stop freeloading and maybe go to university one day but the only place that is willing to hire him is the Butchers' round the corner (Theon would've gotten over the bad work conditions and the mould on the walls if it weren't for the fact that the Butcher keeps looking at him with his weird ass pale blue eyes like he wants to snap his spine and eat his pith every time he passes)

[nedseii]

Your art is amazing! Can you please draw some modern Ned and Cersei? 💕💕💕

For you nedsei believer 🙏💖💖