#mobile killed my entire family

[fairuzfan]

Geneva - In new testimonies documented by Euro-Med Human Rights Monitor, female Palestinian detainees from the Gaza Strip report being subjected to sexual violence, torture, inhuman treatment, strip searches, sexual harassment, and rape threats while being arrested and held by Israeli army forces.

According to the testimonies of female detainees who were recently released following various periods of detention, they endured severe treatment that amounts to torture, including beatings, threats of rape if they disobeyed orders, forced nudity, strip searches in front of male soldiers, and verbal harassment. Members of the Israeli army not only robbed them of any money and belongings they had at the time of their arrest, but tied the detainees up, blindfolded them for extended periods of time, held them in cages amid freezing weather, and denied them access to food, medicine, essential medical care, and menstrual products. Israeli forces also continuously threatened them with losing the ability to see their children. 

The Euro-Med Monitor team personally interviewed dozens of women who reported having experienced verbal and sexual harassment. The rights organisation believes that a greater number of female detainees likely experienced similar violations, however, but are uncomfortable disclosing information about the crimes due to social norms, trauma, or safety concerns, including persecution or death at the hands of the Israeli army. According to Euro-Med Monitor, it will take more time to determine the precise amount or scope of these violations against Palestinian women and girls.

A 45-year-old resident of Gaza City’s Sheikh Radwan neighborhood, “N.H.”—who requested anonymity due to safety concerns—told the Euro-Med Monitor team that she was arrested by Israeli forces on 28 December 2023. She was taken from a UN-run school housing displaced people in the Bureij refugee camp, in the central Gaza Strip, and held for 43 days.

According to N.H., the Israeli army stormed the school at dawn, summoned the male residents, forced them to take off their clothes, and detained them. After requesting to see their personal identification cards, the women were ordered to go into a room for a “medical check-up”. After entering the room, said N.H., “[W]e were searched while we were completely naked, inside a closed-off area, and the female soldiers beat us severely and continuously.”

She explained that she experienced multiple strip searches in public, with male soldiers present, and a female soldier insulted her, spat on her, and made remarks about her body while she was undressing. N.H. was detained for 11 days inside what she said resembled a cage for animals, and was shackled the entire time in bitter cold, with access to only a single shared restroom and no food or water. She also described being questioned about her family members while cuffed to a chair.

After being held in a cage for four days, the recently released-woman affirmed that she was questioned once more and threatened with not being able to see her kids again if she did not cooperate with the Israeli investigators. She also noted that she was verbally harassed by both male and female soldiers, who photographed her with their mobile phones to record her torture, in total disregard for her physical and psychological well-being.

For her part, 39-year-old “N.M.”, who also requested anonymity due to safety concerns, said that three of her brothers were killed in two separate incidents by an Israeli reconnaissance plane prior to her arrest. After storming the school she was sheltering in, Israeli soldiers forced the males there to strip naked before taking them and the women to a nearby mosque, confiscating their ID cards, and interrogating them all individually.

N.M. told Euro-Med Monitor that the Israeli soldiers threatened to rape her and to prevent her from seeing her kids if she disobeyed their orders to film videos attacking the Hamas movement. She said that she was moved to Israel’s Damon Prison, where she was subjected to incredibly restricted living conditions and interrogations on military matters while being unable to leave a small room.

Along the same line, a 20-year-old resident of the Jabalia refugee camp in the northern Gaza Strip named “S.D.”, who also asked that her full name be withheld for her safety, told the Euro-Med Monitor team that she was held for 50 days inside a state-run school sheltering displaced people in Gaza City. She described how Israeli forces arrested her, tied her hands behind her back, blindfolded her, and searched her while she was only wearing her underwear. She was taken to Israel’s Zikim base in a military jeep with other female detainees, where they were left for about two hours on a sidewalk at one point while the soldiers mocked them in Hebrew, a language they do not understand.

“The conditions of detention were extremely harsh; I strained a muscle in my handcuffed hand and an Israeli female soldier struck me hard on my back when I attempted to move,” S.D. told Euro-Med Monitor. “After that, we were transported by truck to a detention facility called Anatot in a mountainous area close to Jerusalem. There, the temperature was very low and we suffered from the freezing weather.”

She elaborated on being verbally harassed by Israeli soldiers: “We were left on a sidewalk for approximately an hour before being given gray prison clothes. We were then made to walk in a line while being teased and humiliated. Afterward, we were taken to a location that resembled a hellish cage, where we were deprived of basic necessities like food and toilets.”

During those days, she told Euro-Med Monitor, no food was served except milk, which detainees shared between themselves. “We were subjected to nasty verbal abuse and foul language, and we were only allowed to use sanitary pads in extremely small amounts—not enough for even a single day—and bathe infrequently,” she stated.

“The soldiers were harassing us, keeping us outside in the rain, and preventing us from praying,” she continued. She further reported that after eight days, she was moved to Damon Prison—after being attacked multiple times by female soldiers. “One of the female soldiers took the blindfold off my eyes and asked me to kiss the Israeli flag during the transfer process,” she added. “When I refused, my face was severely beaten. The female soldier continued to provoke and assault me in retaliation.” S.D. said that she endured a series of torturous interrogation sessions in Damon Prison until she was eventually released, and that she was also subjected to medical negligence there.

A 31-year-old resident of northern Gaza City, “R.R.”, who also requested anonymity due to safety fears, said that she was detained on 3 December 2023 while attempting to cross the Netzarim military checkpoint on foot to head to the southern section of the Strip. She told Euro-Med Monitor that all of her belongings—gold, cash, a phone, and personal items—were seized upon her arrest. She also stated that Israel forces made her undress before tying her hands together, blindfolding her, and transporting her to a detention facility at the Zikim site, where she endured excruciating interrogation sessions that included verbal abuse, beatings, and torture.

R.R. explained that she was repeatedly blackmailed, asked to work for Israeli intelligence, and that Israeli forces threatened to torture or even kill her if she refused. She also stated that her most basic needs during her menstrual period were not met. R.R. told Euro-Med Monitor that she was subsequently bussed to Damon Prison, where an Israeli soldier severely beat her. The interrogations continued; she spoke of being physically assaulted while undressed and detained outdoors in the bone-chilling cold up until her release on 19 January.

Euro-Med Human Rights Monitor confirmed that all of the aforementioned violations come as part of a larger campaign to dehumanise all Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, especially children and women, and thus justify and normalise all crimes committed against them. These crimes also come as a result of Israeli officials’ public incitement against all residents of the Gaza Strip, while their perpetrators enjoy absolute immunity, with no action being taken to hold them accountable at any level or from any party.

The Geneva-based rights group noted that a statement issued by United Nations experts week expressed concern over verified reports of flagrant human rights violations of Palestinian women and girls in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank, including sexual violence, rape and threats of rape, torture, and denial of food and medical care.

Euro-Med Monitor emphasised that, in accordance with the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court, Israel’s practice of torturing Palestinian female detainees by detaining them in inhumane conditions and committing sexual violence against them including rape, threats of rape, indecent assault, and forced nudity, are all acts which intentionally violate their dignity and cause great pain and suffering, and are considered war crimes and crimes against humanity. Additionally, said the rights organisation, these violations are a part of Israel’s genocide against Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, ongoing since 7 October 2023.

In view of the growing number of cases of arbitrary detention, enforced disappearances, administrative detention, and Israel’s application of its “illegal combatants” law—which violates international law—to prisoners and detainees in the Gaza Strip, as well as the documentation of testimonies regarding the systematic Israeli torture of Palestinian detainees, Euro-Med Monitor reiterated its call for the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) to take up its responsibilities and investigate the conditions of Palestinian detainees in Israeli prisons, particularly those involving women and girls.

The rights group urged the ICRC to take public stances and release statements each time Israel blocks it from carrying out its mandated duties, the most notable of which is paying visits to Palestinian detainees and prisoners.

Euro-Med Monitor also called on Alice Jill Edwards, the Special Rapporteur of the United Nations on the subject of torture and other cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment, to look into the serious crimes and grave violations that Palestinian female detainees have suffered, and to submit reports on these violations in order to help international courts and investigative committees with their work in examining and trying cases involving crimes committed by the Israeli army against the Palestinian people in the Gaza Strip.

In addition, Euro-Med Monitor renewed calls for the formation of an independent international investigation committee specialising in Israel’s ongoing genocidal war on the Gaza Strip, and to enable the independent international investigation committee concerned with the Occupied Palestinian Territory that was formed back in 2021 to carry out its work. This would include ensuring the committee’s access to the Gaza Strip and opening the necessary investigations into all crimes and violations committed against Palestinians there, including the crimes of torture and inhuman treatment to which Palestinian women are exposed, as well as all forms of sexual violence.

[theinfinitedivides]

wi papa look a thing there for me. awa.

prefacing this with a PSA that i'm going to try and keep short but basically regardless of anything i say here let me make it known that i do believe he should apologize. whether or not he's still actively saying that word in 2024 it is something he's used in the past even if he isn't performing said play anymore/saying things like that so flippantly. granted if he does apologize there's always going to be a section of fandom that's like 'he only apologized bc he got caught' yes?????????? that's what always happens????????? lbr you're not going to get on IG and announce you killed your ex two decades ago and you'll be turning yourself in when there's an entire true crime community in the depths of the internet who will dig up the cold case + the suspiciously convenient alibi anyway without you lifting a finger. politicians who get called out for blackface in college do not go around telling people they did blackface in college. celebrities who were homophobic on this hellsite in high school back in the early 10s before they realized they were gay are not going to let you know what their handle was. this is how the world works.

that being said i must confess i caught wind of the stirrings of this a bit early bc during the clusterfuck that was the Jam vs Zamasian RPF poll (i did not go in the notes. rancid ass shit) someone had taken a screenshot of a reblog made as a 'gotcha' to Zamasian voters by implying that they were anti-Black for voting for a ship featuring an actor that said the n-word in a play he hasn't performed for several decades since, with a short taped example that the general public was not going to know how to find unless they were on a mission. i poked around, saw a couple hints here and there that implied that the clip actually existed, marked that down for future ref and went about my business. disappointing? sure. run of the mill especially among people his age in the industry from that time period who are perceived to benefit from white privilege? absolutely. the former bird identified app dragging all of this back into the light (including the interview with Chris Rock. which i have not seen though there's no way it was within the last few years for AMC to still hire Eric if they had seen it. correct me if i'm wrong pls) is unexpected but tracks for the fandom on there.

generally i don't believe in cancelling someone for things they said or did more than ten years ago if they are no longer the same person they were back then. i don't believe Jacob or Assad or any one of the staff of color who may have been working behind the scenes would have agreed to continue interacting with Eric if he had the same attitude as he did when he first wrote and performed the play. i don't believe his Black comedian niece would continue to talk about him and share photos with him if he was calling her or the Black side of her family the n-word. i am willing to give the 'Eric Bogosian n-word' reply tweet he reportedly made before deleting it shortly after the brief benefit of the doubt bc it was 1. supposedly under someone else's tweet talking about the play incident and 2. i cannot count how many times i have accidently commented/almost posted something on here or YouTube or Reddit or ao3 bc i was on mobile and once the keyboard's open the app/browser flips the fuck out and puts the search bar and the comment box too close together. now if his ass shows up and shows out and stands ten toes down while he's currently on time-out or doesn't address any of this we're dealing with a different story. if more examples of him acting like this come out i'll drop him faster than you can call the election it will be that serious.

anyway for now i'm choosing to keep an eye on this while acknowledging that us Black folks do have the right to be upset and pissed as fuck. we deal with enough racism/microaggressions in fandom spaces as it is we definitely don't need new ones, and we don't need them from the past career choice of the main cast of a show a lot of us enjoy. amen

[lemonhemlock]

what are they doiiiing, man

The more I believed I wasn't a book puritist, the more this show is trying to make me one because what are they doing?

Everything is inconsistent from episode to episodo and from season to season, like they're not even trying to make it believable

The only good thing is fr Daemon plot and this does shock me because I wouldn't have believed it before lol

And they're kind of making me feel angry about the green (alicent the most, because what are you doiiing? Not even on a book!alicent point, but from the same shows, she is always something different and it's humiliating really)

Idk, i try to take all with a light heart but... it's still able to make me quite mad

And sorry for all the typos and errors, I'm in a rush dhsjal

i mean it's a really disappointing season

i've said it before in my critiques, we can argue all day about characterisation (maybe some actually see aemond as an emotionless psycho, maybe some actually buy that alicent would sell out her own sons for rhaenyra), but there is little to no buildup for these HUGE changes and they don't even make sense in the context of the story. the greens are so, so emotionally flat and one-note melancholy with stunted dynamics. if they don't give a shit about each other, why and even HOW could the audience? where is the tragedy? ok, you want to make those changes from the books and create completely different versions of these characters: you have to make me believe it, man. you have to put in the work.

but these writers don't even understand the politics of the world they are inhabiting. they're not fixing any plot holes from the books, they're creating more. how the heck is house hightower JUST fine with having TWO members of their family dismissed in quick succession from the small council? who is financing this war? uncle hobert should be writing angry letters to aemond demanding appropriate reparations or else the hightower armies go back to oldtown. if they are not going to advance their own interests further as a house, why are they fighting this pointless war? tyland lannister should have given aemond some lip back for his attitude since house lannister has resources (i.e. armies, ships and gold) that aemond needs. these people have power! we've already seen the riverlords take no shit from daemon and he has a dragon too!

i've said this already to our dear @stannisfactions, so i'm gonna repeat myself here, but if alicent somehow became convinced that aemond was so off the rails he was going to get helaena killed................ there are ways around that that DON'T involve selling out your entire family to rhaenyra (certainly your male relatives, even the ones who didn't do a damn thing to you, like your brother, your uncle, your cousins, YOUR OTHER SON (THE NICE ONE), who are only following YOUR lead at the end of the day, because YOU put aegon on the throne and told them to mobilize forces and declare for him and now rhaenyra will see them all as traitors.

has everyone forgotten how to stage a castle coup? i know vhagar is big and scary, but she's parked way outside KL and aemond is just one man who was NOT shown to hustle for his own connections and personal network of friends. smack him in the damn head and throw his ass in jail!! tell everyone else the now-conscious KING aegon told you to! alicent was ruling queen for many years, it makes no sense for her not to have her own resources and courtiers who could help her do this.

can you imagine joffrey baratheon, surrounded by lannister guards loyal to and paid by tywin lannister, whose war is financed by the lannisters, dismissing tywin or cersei (or even tyrion) from his small council? are you laughing yet? why doesn't alicent have her own private army of hightower guards loyal to HER? unless you want (and need) her to be the stupidest person alive so that you can write your rhaenicent fanfic 🤌

they want to humiliate alicent so much to „punish” her for ~choosing the patriarchy~ instead of her bff rhaenyra and girl power. it's such an overdone storyline. other shows, books, media have done it to death, why is it in my dragon show, too? she can't have been a competent regent for viserys and not know how to do these things or not have acquired the resources to do them if necessary. how can she be both competent and incompetent when the plot requires it? it's giving wanting to still have the cake after eating it and throwing it into outer space

[bonefall]

I personally like Thunder's prosthetic. Explained it to my friend (who does use a mobility device, a cane and wheelchair, and listens to me rant and infodump about BB) and they agreed, it's important to know that not every person needs what someone wants to give them. It's another example of "bad ableist person does a thing that hurts a disabled person because they are bad and ableist".

Clear Sky got Jagged Peak killed and would have killed Sunlit Frost! He would absolutely force his disabled son to be "normal" and present it like a privilege. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else, it's special, why don't you want to be helped?"

Thunder Storm should toss it in Clear Sky's face. (I would say toss it into the river but we do not pollute waterways in this house)

Thank you for telling me this, and tell your friend I'm thanking them too! If they have anything else to add please forward what they have to say

Since BB!DOTC tackles some of the heaviest topics in the entire series because its canon equivalent is so dark, I think very carefully about what I do here and how I show it. I take feedback on its sensitive aspects very seriously. If I'm understanding the criticism properly, it's that I should avoid stigmatizing prosthetics by making sure Thunder Storm's not the only one with it-- which he's not! And I'll add even more.

I don't want to avoid something only because it's uncomfortable if the topic is important, and my portrayal is respectful. Ableism IS uncomfortable! There are some situations where a prosthetic is not wanted! I think the rejection of this particular one is both a good opportunity to show a type of ableism and ALSO is very fitting for the characters.

In BB!Clear Sky's mind, the villain, he's fixing an old mistake. He can't admit that he got Jagged Peak killed or take REAL accountability for it (though he will, occasionally, apologize insincerely), but deep in his bones, he knows what he did was cruel. He'll never tell anyone this because he doesn't really cognate it himself, but Thunder Storm NEEDS to take his gift.

If Thunder doesn't take it, it blows a hole in his newest story. You see, throwing Jagged Peak out was All That Could Have Been Done back then. It was a Tragedy and he simply Made A Hard Choice. He regrets it very much, But You Have To Understand.

But now? Now? Well, behold. Look at what he's accomplished since the tragic death of his little brother. His cats are well-fed, cared for, and stable enough to make such incredible advancements. If only Jagged Peak had been able to hold on longer, if only he could be here now, I could fix him.

Just like I can (MAKE YOU JUST LIKE ME) fix you.

"Everything I've ever done is for Jagged Peak. For Fluttering Wing. For you." Thunder Sky is SPECIAL, but if he rejects any gift, tries to turn down the "privileges" offered to him, in an instant that becomes ungratefulness and arrogance. He both forces him to be special, and then leverages it against him if it's rejected. "Spoiled brat, doesn't appreciate what I've worked so hard to give him."

It all goes back to him and his own guilt. He can NEVER be wrong. He can't accept his family doesn't have to be "normal" or reflect his own ability. He won't see himself as a bully, let alone a murderer. It was never about his son's comfort or finding out what Thunder Storm wants or needs, it was about his own ego.

...All that said I'm still taking feedback if there's anything else I should keep in mind, or if anyone has a counter point, especially if you also have experience here.

(In the interest of having a link trail for posterity, here's the critique/call for feedback this is in response to)

[the-eeveekins]

Prospera did Nothing Wrong

Inspired by GundamInfo's tweet yesterday (see below), I'm here to tell you why Prospera did nothing wrong.

First off: Prospera only kills a total of THREE people on-screen in the entire show. These were the Dawn of Fold operatives inside Plant Quetta who were moments from discovering and killing Suletta. It was a clear cut case of both self-defense and defending the life of a family member. Hell, if Prospera doesn't (correctly) convince Suletta here that sometimes you have to kill to protect the ones you love, Miorine might have been killed if Suletta hesitated.

The deaths of the Dominicus solider in the Prologue? Eri. The soldiers of the SAL fleets sent to attack Quiet Zero? Also Ericht. In both of these instances, Prospera and Ericht came under attack and acted in self-defense. Additionally, the Dominicus soldiers were literally slaughtering innocent civilians and the SAL is just another facist Spacian organization interested in opressing Earth and were willing to kill MILLIONS of their own people to get it. Prospera and Ericht should be applauded for thining their numbers.

Quinharbor, this is the big one. Prospera forced an Earthian tank to take a harmless shot in her direction, which she used as justification for destroying the Lfrith stash, but we do not see her engage in the actual fighting itself.

It was the Benerit Group Security forces who instigated the massacre. Despite the Earthian protesters posing basically zero threat to their mobile suits, the pilots freaked out and started firing on protesters and razing the city to the ground despite the massive power imbalance. We never see Prospera attack a single Earthian, and it would have been easy for the Benerit Group security forces to simply fall back, extract Miorine and bail.

Prospera's greatest crime in the show is not being a great mother to Suletta, and prioritizing Eri over her. Something she apologizes for in the final episode and appears to be making amends for in the epilogue.

(Okay, real talk though: I know Elnora does some shitty things as Prospera, and even if she doesn't directly dirty her hands in the series, she's definitely the one manipulating events to happen. That said, you CANNOT show me the Prologue, where Prospera's family, friends and colleagues were violently taken from her and her peaceful life was destroyed, and ask me to root against her or hate her. In my opinion, Elnora deserved a happy ending after everything she was put through, and I'm glad she got everything she wanted and is enjoying a peaceful life in the epilogue.)

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Izzy Hands, "Burying Your Cripples," and That Fucking Finale

(Note: this is a cleaned-up/expanded version of a post I made earlier regarding disability rep in this show bc I was chatting with @itswhatyougive and @notthewriteryourelookingfor about "Burying Your Gays" and the parallels with the "Burying Your Cripples" trope in media, which is often more insidious because people are less primed to notice it and call it out.

Also, although I am analyzing a trope in media in the most unbiased way I can, I am going to get angry. Because this is a show that did its job at making us care about its characters and their portrayals and you can't get mad at me that I did just that.)

On a fourth note when it comes to the problems with the writing in this season of ofmd...the handling of disability. Because good God.

To preface this before anyone jumps down my throat about getting upset: I am disabled myself, both physically and mentally. I carry a small laundry list of mild to moderate conditions that impair my daily functions. I understand what it is like to desire to see characters that carry disabilities similar and dissimilar to my own onscreen. I also understand that there ARE multiple disabled characters in OFMD (ex. Jackie with her wooden hand, Ed with his knee brace, Pete with his cleft palate, Lucius with his mentioned bad back/wooden finger). I UNDERSTAND that these were all generally handled decently well, incorporated without drawing attention to them (although the disappearance of Ed's knee brace was strange to me in season 2, even that I could get with bc personally I only need to use my cane when my knee flares bad and can walk perfectly normally the rest of the time without an aid).

Which is all to say: the way that Izzy's death was written is insidiously (likely unconsciously, but still) ableist. His entire arc this season revolves around community and recovering from trauma and accepting himself both in a queer sense and a DISTINCTLY DISABLED sense. The way he remarks upon his own disability and his acceptance of himself and the way that the show is written to have his crew member ACCOMODATE him joyfully as an EXPLICIT SYMBOL OF LOVE was a breath of fresh air when it comes to disabled characters. I also enjoyed the way that he pokes fun at it occasionally in the same way that I do with my coworkers/friends (joking "oh really, you're going to ask an invalid to do that?" *gestures at my cane*).

But that ending. God, that fucking ending. *vehemently taps table* The fact that this character who opens up, who is accepted for both sides of his identity after dragging himself through the fucking pits over them, is killed. BECAUSE HIS MOBILITY AID COULD BE SEEN BY THE ENEMY. BECAUSE HE WAS SEEN AS UNIQUELY VULNERABLE. And then they FUCKING PULL HIS MOBILITY AID, the very symbol of his acceptance, from his FUCKING BODY SO HE CANNOT BE BURIED WHOLE?

I'm sorry. I really am. I don't mean to get furious about this. But as a disabled person who saw such hope in this character, who saw a storyline about a part of myself that is rarely displayed onscreen (that slow acceptance of the part of yourself you considered broken + the acknowledgement of love by your family/community in the form of loving accommodation without complaint), this hurt me at a very primal level that I didn't know I could be hurt at.

Bringing this back around to the "Burying Your Cripples" trope: the reason why an ending like this is so horrifying is because it is very much telling you that you can have a healing arc, that you can finally find yourself accommodation and acceptance, and it doesn't matter. Your disability will be the thing that kills you.

To people who say that this ending is justified because sometimes death is just random like that, that saying that death makes healing not worth it, I get what you're saying. In real life, of course you're right.

But this is a CLOSED NARRATIVE. It is a story with BEATS that MATTER, made of decisions by writers who had to purposefully decide to put scenes together. There's a reason they're called "arcs"- they're supposed to aim at a specific point. IF YOU LET EVERY CHARACTER IN A SHOW LIVE THROUGH THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE KILLED THEM EXCEPT FOR THE DISABLED CHARACTER, YOU ARE MAKING A FUCKING POINT WHETHER YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT. Izzy's death is not showing "random chance" or "the risks of piracy"- HE DIED BECAUSE HIS MOBILITY AID WAS VISIBLE.

Lemme repeat that: costume concepts showed that the original design of Izzy's naval outfit covered his wooden hoof. It was a conscious decision to have the shot of the naval officer looking down at Izzy's leg, at his exposed leg, and pinpointing him as the weak one despite there being entire scenes dedicated to showing that he was still as strong as the rest of them. In a show where the budget and runtime was restricted, not a single shot or costume decision was on accident. They had to pay more to green screen in that leg.

If Castiel went to superhell because of his gay confession for Dean, then I cannot think of a clearer way to Bury Your Cripples than having Izzy die because someone saw his mobility aid.

Do I think they did this on purpose? Well, no more on purpose than David Jenkins looking at Izzy's Hayes-Code-era gay coding/arc and saying that he knew that Izzy would have to die because that's what characters like that do. No more on purpose than saying that the mentor character had to die because that's what characters like that do.

Izzy's disability was visible, was the cause of his death, because "that's what happens" to pirates who gain disabilities. They are weaker. They are more at risk.

I'm sorry, but fuck that.

Fuck the idea that in a show that created a careful space in its narrative (for a season and a half at least) for queerness to be treated ahistorically kindly, that often disregarded geographic, historical, and medical accuracy to tell a compelling story, and that purposefully provided racial and body diversity while calling out racism, that the disabled character getting offed is a "kind ending." It's not. It never has been. And I'm tired of accepting that sort of thing.

I am SO GLAD that fanfic exists with better depictions of disabled arcs/endings in OFMD bc I don't know if I could recover otherwise. Hope my fellow disabled folk out there are recovering as well, and that they understand that there is positivity to be made out of poison- it just wasn't what the finale gave us.

[cripplecharacters]

Do you have an idea of disability as part of redemption arc ? Let's say, I have a character who's a professional executioner, from a dynasty of professional executioners, XVIIIth century. He was a real person, who eventually became paraplegic. Since, I want, for my historical novel to redeem him...He started torturing people at fourteen, maybe younger, and killed for the first time at age 18. He's 33 when the story started, and became hemiplegic/paraplegic (documentation isn't clear on this) at age 35, and was in a social circle of executioners and torturers since birth. Realistically, maybe, he would have little to no sense of belonging beyond that of executioner, unless maybe as head of house, which is again, liked to his position as executioner. He's a third class citizen, but an absurdly wealthy one, and no longer being able-bodied doesn't mean he can stop depending on the executioner buisness, it just means his son has to start killing at 15.

How do you think a man who worked for 13 years as master executioner of Paris, but officially because one at age 7, insuring his wealth but also the envy of his colleagues, would cope with being hemiplegic/paraplegic. Also, one of his potencial rivals was a man who in all likelyhood beated his mother, and probably him and his brother when they were at least teenagers. That master executioner was aged 35 when he lost his mobility to a stroke. The Mémoires of the Sanson family also described him a proud piller of his community, delivering charitable medical care to those in needs and one who enjoyed rough horse riding.

Thank you for your ask! This sounds like a case of redemption through disability, which is a trope that should be avoided. A disabled character can get redeemed, but it should be entirely separate from their disability.

Along with his disability not redeeming him, you should also make sure it doesn’t make him spiteful or cruel. Basically the disability should change what he can physically do, not who he is.

As for the second part of the ask, I first want to note none of our mods are parapalegic/hemiplegic, so we can’t speak for coping with these disabilities specifically. I’d recommend looking for first hand accounts of people with these conditions, or preferably seeing if you can find someone with them to ask or act as a sensitivity reader.

I don’t know much about 18th century French medicine, but physical & occupational therapy will be important as he re-learns tasks that were once easy and figure out ways to complete tasks he can no longer do. Studies show horseback riding can help stroke survivors with their recovery, though he’ll need to ride gently at first.

Have a nice day!

Mod Rot

I just want to say real quick, adding on to the case of redemption through disability, that the reason we want to avoid it is because moralizing disability is something that very much happens to real alive people every day.

Tying disability to morality often is 'disability is a moral failure' type of situation, but another way it affects people is the assumption that 'suffering' through a disability somehow makes you more 'pure' or 'better.' Like when you see some grumpy mean character get an injury and Suddenly They Understand Hardships of Others and they become a better person — sort of a mix between 'disability as punishment' and 'disabled people are innocent.'

This kind of seems like what you're doing here. There's a lot of historical fiction out there that uses real life counterparts. If you choose to do that and redeem a bad person, I can't exactly stop you. But I want you to examine why you think what's going to redeem him is the onset of his disability, rather than an understanding of what he did and attempts to do better.

Hope this helps,

– Mod Sparrow

I agree completely with what has been said and just want to add that even disorders like traumatic brain injuries and strokes that can sometimes affect not only function but also personality should not be used as a moral thing, as mentioned earlier. More realistically impacts of a stroke on personality and mood are depression (this was my main symptom even with minimal other symptoms and damage), some impulsiveness or irritability, and mood swings. The disability, again, should not make them a better or worse person inherently.

-Mod Bert

[porcelana-r0ta]

The Curse of Sight, Part 3

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 4]

Summary: When Wes Weston meets Tim Drake-Wayne, the dots start connecting. And those dots form a Bat.

Ao3 Link (available only to Ao3 members)

When Wes gets home that night, he cuts off the part of Tim’s note with his name. His contact information has already been added to his phone, so he tears that part of the note up and then trashes it. The part containing his signature, Wes dumps into an envelope and scribbles out a note on a different sheet of paper: 

You owe me one. 

                —Wes

Wes seals the envelope, stamps it, and writes Tucker’s address in the center, and uses one of his mom’s fancy returning address stickers so he doesn’t have to write anymore. Then he rushes out the townhouse and drops it off at the USPS outgoing mailbox, and rushes back inside before the powers that be decide Wes should be mugged again.

Tucker may be one of the Gaslighting Trio, but he was still nice enough to help Wes in their computers class. 

xxXxx

Wes: Hi, it’s Wes! You gave me your number yesterday so I could give you coffee next time I went on a coffee run?

The reply comes unexpectedly fast for someone who runs a Fortune 500 company and is a whole entire vigilante, but maybe the coffee addiction is just that strong.

Tim: Wes! Yes, please. Have you left yet?

Wes: No, I haven’t even made the mobile order yet. Wanted to give you time to respond. Why?

Tim: Just a sec

Wes stares at his phone from his place in his mom’s office, where he sits in a brown suede chair that sits in front of her desk. His mom is typing away on her computer, a look of concentration on her face. 

“Huh,” he says to himself, then exits the chat to return to putting in orders. He’d like to just click on a past order and reuse it, but Felix and Kourtnie are always changing their orders. He’s convinced it’s because they hate him, but maybe it’s that he’s letting his experience with Jade color his vision. 

“What is it, sweetie?” his mom asks without pausing in his work. 

“Well, Tim asked me to text him next time I went to get coffee. And like, I did. And he answered, but then told me to wait a sec.”

“Can’t ignore orders from the big boss,” his mom says, and Wes nods. 

“Yeah, but I think Kourtnie will die if she waits too long for her caffeine fix.”

“She’ll have to get over it, or stop by Batbucks before she comes in.”

“I don’t think she wakes up early enough for that….”

His mom snorts, “You’re right on that front. How did you even meet Mr. Drake?”

He shrugs and looks back to his phone, “I dunno. He pressed the elevator button for me a few days ago, and now suddenly all of this—” he gestures to everything, “—is a thing.”

“Teenagers,” his mom mutters under her breath. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing. Just that you suck at describing things.” 

“You’re mean. I’m disowning you as my mother.”

“Have fun on the streets of Gotham.”

“I’ll sell your credit card numbers online to buy a bus ticket back to Amity.”

“Greyhounds don’t go to Amity. Try again.”

“I’ll hitchhike and get serial killed by a semi-truck driver to get back to Amity. Then I’ll come back as a ghost and haunt you and Gotham.” 

“Not Amity Park?”

“No, they have other problems.” Like the Guys In White. Gotham has issues, but at least they aren’t government-mandated war crimes type of issues. 

His mom goes to say something, but a knock at her office door stops her. She finally looks up from her computer and makes eye contact with the interrupter, and says, “Oh, come in, Mr. Drake.”

Wes has to physically stop himself from whipping around, “Oh, hey, Tim! What’s up?” 

This is it. He’s finally figured out what I figured out and now he’s come for my kneecaps.

Okay, that was dramatic, even for him. He was making the Bats sound like a little family of mob members. Really, they were just superheroes. They couldn’t do anything harmful to Wes. At least not physically.

….Would they erase his memories? Is mind-fucking considered physical harm? 

Wes breaks into a nervous sweat. 

“I just want to help Wes out with his coffee run,” Tim explains with that charming Wayne smile that wins the hearts of anyone who feels. “I hope you don’t mind me going out with your son, Penny?” 

“Not at all,” his mom answers. “Have fun, boys. Oh, and Mr. Drake?”

“Yes?”

“Tell your brother to stop flipping off the cameras every time he spots paparazzi.” 

Tim winces, “I’ll send the message, but we can’t really run a business and control Jason at the same time.”

Jason Todd. As in Red Hood, the second Robin. The one who was pronounced dead overseas, but was miraculously found safe and somewhat sound several years later. Fantastic.

Wonder how much of that death was real? Wes has had enough ecto-exposure thanks to his stalking hijinks in Amity Park to know when he’s around others who have been touched by Death. He’s about 60% sure he could clock that in Jason Todd if he ever happened to get near him. 

Hopefully while in his civilian persona. Wes is uninterested in meeting any more vigilantes, thank you very much. 

They say their goodbyes to his mom and he gets up to follow after Tim, his knees a little wobbly. How long can he pretend to be nervous about hanging out with the guy who signs not just his paycheck, but his mom’s? 

They walk through the PR Department and make it to the elevator, painstakingly going through the motions of small talk. Wes is aware of every word he utters, carefully asking himself what could be taken the wrong way, and what is innocuous enough to say. 

“So what did you want from Batbucks?” he asks as the elevator lowers. 

“Oh, the same as what you got last time,” Tim answers, and Wes abides by that request with a single press of a button. Their conversation moves to favorite TV shows as they leave WE and head to the crosswalk to make it to the Batbucks across the street, and once there, Wes pushes the check-in button to signal to the baristas that he’s there for pickup whenever the order is finished, and they take a seat against a wall and far from the windows. 

“A Trekkie, huh?” Tim asks when Wes tells him his top five TV shows. “And a crime fan, too.”

Wes shrugs, fiddling with his fingers, “I like to figure out the ending before the characters do, and honestly, I just like George Takei.”

Tim tilts his head, “That’s fair. I like crime shows, too.”

Haha yeah, I bet you do.

“What’s your favorite?” Wes obligingly asks. 

“Oh, Criminal Minds, easily. Spencer’s a great character.” 

Wes wonders how a person with two full-time jobs like Tim has time for hobbies that include 40-minute episodes. 

“You just like seeing characters in pain, don’t you?” 

“I do not!” Tim protests, affronted. “I just think he’s a good character! With good development!” 

“That’s what I’d say, too,” Wes teases. 

Tim shakes his head, “You’re impossible. He’s just a good character! He’s so smart and awkward. What’s not to love?” 

Wes gives a half-shrug, “I mean, I guess that’s fair. He is a good character. But I’m more of a Garcia person.”

“They really make the show,” Tim agrees. “Their dynamic is iconic.”

“Speaking of iconic….” Wes takes a deep breath disguised as a sigh. Okay, so if he were going to be interrogated, it would have happened by now. So it’s probably not happening unless he’s going to see a Bat on the fire escape tonight. But if he can just reveal a tiny bit of his hand—just a little smidge—maybe he can avoid suspect altogether. 

“Yeah?” 

“I have to ask,” Wes says nervously. “It’s definitely not my business, but yesterday, when I dropped off the coffees…. I kind of saw the picture of that villain? And I was wondering… who told Mr. Wayne that the villain had a sticker of a My Immortal quote? Who had to explain to him what My Immortal is?” 

Because surely Tim knows, if not from having read the infamous fic then from doing research about the villain. 

Tim smirks and says, “That’s the best part, Wes. Bruce already knew.” 

He choked on air, “You’re kidding me!”

“I’m not. I’m really, really not. You didn’t hear this from me, but,” Tim pauses, giving a playful, sneaking look around for any listeners, and he whispers, “my brother Dick referenced it so much that Bruce read it himself.” 

“Bruce Wayne. Read My Immortal.” The fucking Batman read My Immortal? Willingly? 

“Oh yeah, he did.” 

“Did… did he recognize the quote? Did he remember?” 

“No, but he did when Dick said, ‘Damn, I hope Batman puts his middle finger up at that prep villain.’” 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Wes knows he’s getting a modified version of what really happened, but he can fill in the gaps. Nightwing quoted My Immortal to Batman. And Batman recognized it because he once read the fic in an effort to relate to his teenage son. 

Well, vigilantes are human, too. Why shouldn’t Batman know who Vampire and Bloody Mary are? 

The next few minutes pass in friendly conversation before their order name is called, and both get up to collect. Wes tries to get two out of the three carton holders, but Tim intercepts. 

“Tim,” he says, half-chastising. 

“I just like helping! And this is getting me out of a board meeting.” 

Wes’s face screws up in distaste. “Well, that’s fair, then.” 

They make their way back to the 73rd floor of Wayne Enterprises and they are hounded in the way that has become so expected for Wes. A new addition to the coffee delivery is Rebecca’s eyes lighting up upon seeing that Tim is helping Wes. 

“Did you like last night’s meme, Mr. Drake?” Rebecca asks, collecting her venti iced mocha latte.

Tim nods, “I did. Nice work on the Photoshop. And the filming equipment should be down today.” 

Wes watches as Rebecca does her best not to squeal in excitement, “Thank you, sir!” 

He nods and turns to Wes, “I’ll see you later, yeah?” His black bangs do nothing to hide the way his eyes crinkle at the corners.

Wes nods wordlessly, his throat suddenly tight and full. Tim’s smile widens and he leaves for the elevator. 

When the doors close on his figure, Rebecca jams her index and middle fingers into Wes’s ribs, “Oh my god, were you two on a coffee date?” 

“Ow, Rebecca, what? No! He just wanted to escape the board.” Wes rubs his ribs comfortingly, his muscles stinging. “That hurt, what the hell?”

“Sorry!” She’s not sorry at all. “Do you think we can get him to do a TikTok for us?” 

He spares a glance at the elevator, which has long since taken Tim up to whatever floor he haunts. “Maybe? It’d make sense, considering the whole CEO thing. Why wouldn’t he be in a TikTok at some point?”

“No reason,” she says, but there’s a fire in her eyes and a mischievous cut to her grin that she fails to hide behind her coffee. Wes’s gut curdles in dread. 

“You terrify me.”

“Thanks! Now come to my office. You need to practice your lines for the TikTok.”

“I feel like my mom has to sign some kind of release form if I’m going to be on the WE TikTok,” he warns, but dutifully follows after her. “Also, you have a cubicle. Not an office.” 

“Hush, or I’ll take away your stool. And your mom already signed one, so ha.” 

“Hushing.” He mimes the action of locking his lips and throwing away the key. 

“Ugh, you’re adorable.” 

They get to the cubicle and each takes a seat, Rebecca immediately sorting through several stacks of papers before making a triumphant noise and handing him a sheet. Wes takes it and stares at it uncomprehendingly for a few seconds. 

“Rebecca, this is just stage directions and the lines to that Cunk on Earth audio.” 

She nods, “And if we get the TikTok approved fast enough, maybe we’ll even post it when the trend is still semi-popular.” 

“And what will I be actually saying?” 

“Don’t worry about that. Just focus on being able to lip sync.” 

“Oh boy."

xxXxx

Wes had thought he would have at least a few days to get used to the idea of having his face plastered all over the internet. Unfortunately, it would seem he underestimated Rebecca’s work ethic when it came to something she wanted because she only made him do three retakes, and then she made quick work of editing. Wayne Enterprises' first-ever TikTok would be ready to go live in the morning with his mother’s and Tim’s approval. 

The TikTok in question is Wes standing in the Wayne Enterprises lobby, smiling wide and happy at the camera when he first begins talking: “It’s hard to believe I’m walking through the ruins of the first ever city.” He pauses, drops the smile, and says, “Because I’m not: that’s in Iraq, which is miles away, and fucking dangerous.” Then, he holds up two cartons of coffee into the camera frame, all filled with (secretly) empty paper venti cups, and is swarmed by various WE employees who volunteered (or were coerced by Rebecca) to be in the TikTok. 

Rebecca doesn’t let him see exactly how she subtitled the video, but he can guess. And sure enough, when the TikTok profile and video simultaneously go live the next day and Wes sees it, he is proven mostly right. 

“It’s hard to believe I’m the new face of Wayne Enterprises’ official TikTok. Because I’m not: I’m just an intern, and I get the f*cking coffee.” 

Rebecca had even captioned it as if he were the one writing and posting: It’s at least a paid internship. The words are then followed by a string of hashtags. Well, that just goes to show that you can’t trust corporations’ social media, even if they do try to come across as real and friendly and like a person who could be your friend. Parasocial relationships are dangerous, who knew?

“The likes and comments are coming in fast,” Rebecca says, staring down at the WE phone that Tim had sent down with the filming equipment to use for the WE TikTok. She’s also done more than she needed to with it, downloading other social media and logging into them on her personal profiles. Wes didn’t comment on it, even if he did think it was not the smartest move, but she said it was so she could get away with “studying” current trends easier. 

“It is Wayne Enterprises,” he remarks. “It’d be like if, I dunno, if Superman finally downloaded TikTok. But, like, this is more corporate greed than ‘protecting humanity’ type of thing.”

“That’s true,” she nodded. “But I mean, the Waynes are pretty generous. I make more here than I would anywhere else.”

“Yeah, fair. And paid internships aren’t exactly common, either.” 

Wes wouldn’t admit it, but while he’d given up on proving the Fenton-Phantom conspiracy and other identities, he did still have a bit of a stalking problem. So when Google sent him a news alert about the Waynes making a press statement about the break-in, he immediately hit it to read the article while Rebecca read new comments on TikTok aloud for him to hear. 

The Waynes Speak About Break-in At WE

The article discusses how grateful they were to Batman and his flock for stopping the break-in, even if they hadn’t caught the new villain. Really, it’s just a puff piece about the Princes of Gotham’s perception of the Knights of Gotham. And considering Wes’s insider knowledge, the article comes across as a little condescending and self-praising, and he’s close to exiting the website when a throwaway comment near the end of the article catches his eye, and he reads on. 

VV: And are you at liberty to say what the villain was looking for? Is it something we should have our eyes on?

BW: [laughs] Well, it’s something that has been spoken about before, I believe? I think Tim could tell you more about it than me. He’s definitely got the brains. You know, when he was—

TDW: Haha, thanks, B! I can’t give too much away because the lead scientist on the project, Dr. Michelle Amir, will get upset, but I can say that we’re expecting a breakthrough in renewable energy. 

VV: Are you sure that’s all you can tell us? 

TDW: I’m afraid so. Dr. Amir is very protective of her research.

VV: And it would seem with good reason! It’s a good thing Gotham’s own….

…And the interview returns to preaching the Batfamily’s praises.

Wes has to roll his eyes at the Brucie Wayne persona trying to take every conceivable opportunity to gush about his children. 

Still, he recognizes that the article was published just a few hours after the TikTok started to go viral. Any reports about the WE break-in will be buried under tabloids dissecting the new TikTok profile and what this means for future WE advertisements. Clever, and exactly what he expects from the Bats. 

As he exits the website, a text notification pops up at the top of his screen. It’s from Tucker Foley and all it says is, “YOU!” in all caps. 

He sighs as a rush of other texts hit his phone from his classmates at Casper High, some even including the link to the TikTok. 

And so it begins. 

xxXxx

Tag List: 

@theamazingfox @quietlyscared @lumosfeather18581  @blankliferain @amercurio @gin2212 @starscreamlover @hoarder-of-gender

If you want to be added to the Tag List, just ask in the replies 💙

[tf2heritageposts]

saw your post about chronic pain and thought i'd give some pointers (from someone who is developing chronic pain themself and is learning how to deal with it)

stretching is important. yes i know this is the most basic ass response someone can say but trust me here. i am an artist who has been in shrimp position for more than 50% of my life (thus far) and just doing simple shoulder, elbow, wrist and hand stretches before/after working helps a T O N in the long run. it will be painful at first! it always is! but stretching does help to prevent even more pain down the line. i am unsure what pain bothers you the most (mine is my feet, lower legs, lower back and arms), so i'd suggest starting with some simple stretches in the regions where you tend to have pain.

collagen. if you don't know what that is, i can give you a summary without the science-speak: its the stuff in your joints that keeps your cartilage from breaking down. best way(s) to get it? if you are simple, and can afford it, they sell the stuff as vitamin supplements. if you're looking for a way to just naturally get more into your diet, i would suggest bone broth. (yes you could buy bone broth, but if you go through meat on the regular, and are able to cut bones out of them, don't toss out the bones! make bone broth with em. i would give an entire guide of how to do it but i would be here for much longer)

waterrrrr. the drinkerrrrrrrrrrrrr. hydration is also really important for preventing joint pain (or really pain of any variety). making sure to get proper hydration is important. if you live in a city area where the tap water might not be good, please be sure to get mineral water and not pure distilled. while distilled does taste better, it lacks a lot of minerals that water can naturally have that would be of benefit to your health.

don't overexert yourself!!!!!!!! please please PLEASE be sure to sit down if you need to (and are able to). repeated overuse of your muscles/bones/tendons can have a negative impact in the worst ways possible. (also getting a walker or cane is ideal!!! most walgreens and/or cvs's have an asile dedicated to mobility aids!!! do not feel ashamed to use it if you need it!! please!!!)

in terms of short term solutions, ibuprofen will not kill you. just be sure to rotate tylenol and ibuprofen. doing this will prevent you from unintentional ODing. (you may have heard this one before. if so feel free to ignore it)

going to an arthritis clinic sooner rather than later is a good idea. i don't know what your physical/insurance situation is like, but as someone who just recently was told by a primary care that the symptoms i am having is similar to rheumatoid arthritis [which runs in the family] (and really needs to move into a different state or city or town and get a different insurance that can cover the cost of multiple arthritis doctor visits AND a doctor who will take them seriously), it is important that you go to an arthritis clinic as soon as possible. If you do not know where to go, and are able to ask your primary doctor for a referral, most primary care doctors will refer you to something that is on your healthcare plan

i do apologize if this was really really long and winding... i am not the best at keeping things short

well i just realized i am living badly because

- i never stretch

- i am comstanrlh underhydrated

- i am always up and out and about hyerexerting myself

- only use ibuprofen

thank you kindly man

[cascodeddeangirlie]

No because what if Destiel was canon when Cas met Cain in that graveyard…

I used the actual script so 99% of the dialogue is not original! Also sorry if the formatting is weird, it’s my first time posting and I’m on mobile.

“It's Cas.” Dean put his phone on speaker. He hadn’t heard Cas’s voice for a good while, but as much as he’d like to keep it for himself, they were looking for Cain. He couldn’t afford to be selfish right now. “Hey, where you at?”

“Illinois.” It was good to hear his voice again. Especially after he hadn’t been picking up his calls earlier.

“Hey, Cas, we got a lead. Cain abducted a Texas death row inmate named Tommy Tolliver.” Sam said, sounding like he barely believed what he was saying. It sounded a little ridiculous, but that was normal for them. This seemed normal. Almost like they were working a case again.

But Sam and Dean weren’t with Cas. They couldn’t see him crouching in the woods, holding a white sneaker that had ‘TDJC’ written on the bottom. When Cas spoke again, it’s nothing close to what they wanted to hear. “He's dead.”

“What? How do you know?” Sam asked, staring at the phone. Dean was worried now, his concern clear on his face.

“Call it an educated guess. Cain has been very busy.” Castiel stood, looking around. The woods where he had been were never really woods at all, just woods surrounding a clearing. A clearing full of freshly dug graves.

Dean’s fear was clear through his voice. “Okay, where are you? We'll come to you.”

Cas felt someone watching him through the trees. He looked around, unsure where it was coming from. “I'll call you back.”

Dean sighed, exasperated, and put his phone in his pocket. With Cas leaving as unexpectedly as usual, he must be okay.

Meanwhile, Cas turned around to find Cain staring at him.

“Hello, Castiel.” Cain seemed unfazed, despite being surrounded by death that he caused. Perhaps it’s natural for the father of murder.

“What have you done?” The angel is appalled, angry.

“These bodies? Just cleaning up a mess I made a long time ago.” He still sounded relaxed. Maybe there was a tinge of regret in his voice, but it was too faint to tell.

“Cain, I know what you were. But you'd resisted for so long.” He was desperate and it showed. He wanted Cain to say something to redeem this, to say he would stop, that he could stop.

“What can I say? I got the taste back.” Cain isn’t moved at all by Cas’s attempt at reconciling him. “With Abaddon's army gunning for me, I had to take up arms again, and I liked how it felt.” As he spoke, he walked closer to Castiel.

“Those were demons. These-” Cas looked around once again. The graves were appalling. The deaths were an abomination. It never should have happened.

Cain crouched down and lifted up a teddy bear. It was muddy and torn apart, and Castiel just knew that it was a small child’s favorite toy. A now deceased child.

“Humans.” Cain breathed out, staring at the bear. “Eh, the Mark thirsts for all kinds.” He lowers the bear and looks away from it.

“This is a massacre.” Castiel’s voice was filled with anger. So many dead. Children, fathers, mothers, siblings, entire families destroyed because they happened to be descended from a killer.

“Yes.” Cain looks up at Cas. He sounds almost dreamy. “And soon it'll be a genocide.” He stood, tossing the bear aside. “My children, my whole poisoned issue. A lot of them out there right now... killers, fighters, thieves, some more peaceful than others. But they still carry it... the disease. If the Mark wants blood, I'll give it mine.” He walked closer, stepping between graves. He seemed peaceful, as though he were simply accepting this as something that had to happen, that he needed to do.

“You'll kill them all? You are Adam and Eve's firstborn. Your descendants are legion.” Cas walks closer to Cain.

“At most, I'm culling... 1 in 10.” Cain said this in a way that attempted to justify what he was doing. To say that maybe it was acceptable.

He earned himself a glare from Cas. “Of everyone.”

“I’ve got time.” Cas’s glare hardened. Cain continued like he couldn’t see it. “How's Dean, by the way? I hear he did good, took Abaddon down.”

Cas looked away, losing his glare. Cain’s expression finally dropped a little.

“He's…not well.” Cain said, realizing. He knew. Cain knew that look. It’s the look his Colette wore. It’s the look of someone slowly losing their lover.

Castiel’s gaze flickered back up to Cain. “Even with the First Blade hidden, Dean is losing his fight against the Mark. If we don't find a cure…He’ll start and never stop.” His eyes wander around the graveyard again. Knowing that one day, he could be standing in another graveyard, but next time it will not be created by someone evil, not by an entity that they are stopping, but Dean. His Dean. His charge, his human, his love. The one he risked everything for. The one he rescued from Hell and reconstructed, saw every single part of his being and soul, and fell for. There was no one else like him and there never will be. Castiel already knew that one day he could lose Dean, maybe in a hunting accident, maybe to old age, something mortal, but not like this. Watching him lose himself was worse. Watching everything that made him fall in love fade was worse. Watching the soul that he sewed back together tear itself apart was so, so much worse. This, the mark, is the worst thing that could have ever happened. “He just needs to stop. I need him to stop.”

Cain saw it. He saw that he had created another one of himself, that he was destroying someone else in love the way he had destroyed Colette. Those eyes, full of fear, sadness, anger, are the same ones he saw when he looked at her. He had destroyed her from the inside out, and now he was making Dean do the same to his angel.

But it was too late.

“There is no cure. I'm living proof of that. But don't worry about Dean. I'll get to him. In due time.” Cain couldn’t apologize, not now. He knew this would happen. He had tried to warn Dean of the consequences. The final thing he knew, the most concrete thing to him, was that there was nothing he could say or do at this point to save this angel from his Colette’s fate, his new fate.

Castiel’s moment of vulnerability with this murderer passed. His angel blade dropped from his sleeve into his hand.

“Sorry Castiel.” Cain’s gaze softened, if only for a second. He had so much more in that apology than Castiel might have realized. “I’m sorry that you have to lose him like this. I’m sorry that I’m going to kill him. I’m sorry that the Mark is taking him apart. I’m sorry…I’m sorry, Colette.”

“You’re not on my list.” Cain said, then disappeared. Castiel was alone. And as he looked around the graveyard, he knew. He knew this could be his future, that Dean could end up leaving him the same way Cain just did, cold and uncaring and only focused on killing.

And he knew he would never be able to stop him.

Thanks for reading :3 apologies if it was ooc at all

[kiyomitakada]

do you think first love/late spring is kinda misa coded

i’ve been staring at this ask for the last two hours because. oh god, is it?

…wait scratch everything i just typed you’re a genius. first love / late spring is exactly audio drama misa. “but i find lately i’ve been crying like a tall child” with the odd detachment because ad!misa has lost much more of her memories post-timeskip and doesn’t know why her entire life with light feels so off, why she feels so goddamn sad all the time. “please hurry leave me i can’t breathe” because she tells light to go away because talking to him is the catalyst for her death in the notebook. “one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i’m on baby / tell me don’t so i can crawl back in” is. exactly what happens in the audio drama down to the letter. jesus christ. audio drama enjoyers are you seeing this shit

but anyway i originally had manga misa in mind so talk below:

first love / late spring is one of my favorite songs ever in general, but i usually associate it with repressing romantic feelings, like ‘if you tell me you love me i don’t know how i would react and that terrifies me, i am terrified by how much i love you,’ which are generally not sentiments misa has. misa’s obsessed with impossibly large love, she’d be delighted if she ever felt that way (and has convinced herself she does feel that way, arguably)

BUT. but. there is an entirely different way to interpret this song and you’ve got me thinking about it now:

this post by comput3rage posits that misa is subconsciously comforted by light being the only person around who isn’t attracted (or pretending to be attracted) to her. misa wants to be a devotee. “i’ll work hard to make you love me” and so on and so forth. she wants, so very badly, to be in love. but she doesn’t know what to do when someone else is devoted to her: she’s perfectly fine with rem dying, gelus dying, her friend dying (she offers to kill her for light’s sake!). she is desperately lonely, she wants light’s affection more than anyone’s in the world, but post-timeskip we see that she’s incredibly comfortable in this dynamic where they visit his family separately and they don’t really talk to each other and he leans away from her when she loops his arm around him. because he says he loves her, and that’s enough. it doesn’t matter that he proposed to her saying “quit your job, let’s get married, okay ryuk this is the next part of my plan—” she’s just over the moon that he proposed to her at all.

if light were to be actually romantically attracted to her. something beyond lip service and bringing her to functions and saying he’s in love. i don’t think she’d know what to do with that.

which brings us back to mitski! because “please hurry leave me i can’t breathe / please don’t say you love me” is at first glance antithetical to misa who wants people to stay more than anything. and yet it works perfectly. she’s terrified of devotion. everyone who loves her dies.

(i’m on mobile right now but pretend that i put screencaps of misa and rem in the bathroom here. i am thinking about how misa says “i don’t really want to be loved by this ugly monster” and rem reassures her by saying that it’s not love because she’s female [insert unrelated rant about how misa taught rem internalized homophobia] and it works.)

plus beside romantic love — misa has faced so much harassment and stalking, it’s horrific. to the point where (referring back to comput3rage’s post) i think she genuinely has intrusive thoughts about people being attracted to her. but that’s tangential headcanon territory lmao

“and i was so young when i behaved twenty-five / yet now i find i’ve grown into a tall child” because misa lost her parents when she was eighteen! and she drops the goth gyaru look to look more “mature” during the timeskip but as soon as she loses her memories she goes back to that old style! and she doesn’t know why! she doesn’t even notice the hole in her life because how could she!

“one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i’m on baby” i think applies to every version of misa ever. she’s suicidal. in every universe she’s suicidal. she tells light “i would gladly die for you” preparing to infiltrate a company that has demonstrated the power to kill anyone anywhere. she wants to die for love, always has.

“tell me don’t so i can crawl back in” because. because despite this she wants to be stopped. some part of her desperately wants someone to hold her and say no, misa, i care about you as a person and you can’t do this to yourself. and light sort of does say that, though out of his own moral code instead of affection for her. but she’ll take it. she is so used to the pale shadow of love that she would rather it over the sun, the sun, the sun.

and finally: 胸がはち切れそうで, because heart attacks :D

TLDR: for manga misa it wouldn’t be my first choice but it absolutely works. for audio drama misa this is practically her theme song.

[finderseeker]

HERE’S MORE. I GUESS

the, uh. Previous part, for context. Yeah and there’s a tag now. For stuff related to the actual… “plot” of this. It’s #seeker/tempus storyline (hopefully that works on mobile,,)

This was not supposed to turn into a thing. This cannot become a whole thing I need to get back to my actual fic—

*sigh* But. Here we are. 4000 words of,,, whatever this is. I namedrop the other skeletons and then it’s Tempus ruminating and then him and Seeker crying at each other

Papyrus and Sans were, as one might expect, surprised Seeker tried to leave suddenly, especially without saying goodbye. WD only had part of the story when he went to tell them, after dropping her and Tempus off at the house. (He may have omitted the part where he initially refused to help Tempus stop her from getting killed.)

When the brothers all return to their house, a couple hours later, Seeker is curled into Tempus’s chest on the couch, and there’s a small pile of crumpled tissues on the floor. She’s since fallen asleep from exhaustion, but as tired as he is, Tempus can’t find it in himself to sleep too.

She said she loves him. It made his entire SOUL feel bright to hear that returned. He wishes they had been able to tell each other under better circumstances, but it remains a truth regardless, doesn’t it? Still, the joy is muted by fear and hurt. Does it make sense why she wanted to leave? Yes. Did she actually intend to leave him behind forever without ever saying goodbye? No. But it keeps replaying in his mind, the look on her face when he burst in to plead with her: the way she tried to ignore him. Yes, alright, she was probably focusing on not getting hit, but— there was just something about her expression. Something that stung like rejection. Would she not have told him her intention, even then, if he hadn’t directly interfered? She later told him that she didn’t know if she’d be able to come back, had she made it to the surface. What did that mean? Was there a version of this where she left and couldn’t return and he would have just never known why?

He pushes the thought away best he can and tries to redirect his attention.

It feels good to be able to hold her like this. To comb his fingers through her hair. To experience all the weird things close-up, like her heartbeat, and swallowing, and stomach noises.

…As happy as he is that she’s alive, and here, and loves him back, he’s a little upset at her, yeah. Yet how can he be? If he were in her shoes, wouldn’t he miss his family the same? And she wanted to help everyone. She wanted to help. It made sense to try to leave and come back—

But why was she so determined not to talk to him first? Maybe he wouldn’t have been happy about it, but…

And not only did she try to leave, not only did she try to ignore him when he came to find her, not only did she refuse to give any kind of explanation— she tricked him. Since the day they met, before he even knew her, he trusted her with his eyes. One of the first things she had learned about him was that he could hardly see more than blurred colors without his glasses. Sure, he took them off himself plenty of times, whether for his safety goggles, or to look cool in shades, or for some other reason, but that was different. She threw his glasses. She made him think she was relenting, coming to him in trust, and she tore them off his face.

Was everything else not enough without that on top?

She knew he wouldn’t stop otherwise. That was a correct assessment. She was convinced that what she was doing was necessary. That made her do things she otherwise would not have.

But did she have to twist the knife?

No amount of reasoning through it can pull out the seeds of doubt and fear that have begun to take root in his heart. No matter how long he spends sitting there absently stroking her hair and staring at the wall, no matter how much he reflects on what she told him, the thoughts of “she would leave if she could” play in perfect harmony with that background music in his soul that he rarely even notices anymore: a perpetual fear of abandonment.

And so when his cousins come home later, with Seeker asleep on his chest, he is sure the tracks of tears on his cheeks are still visible— as if the hollow expression on his face and equally hollow glowing of his eyelights isn’t enough to tell them he isn’t up for talking.

For once, no one tries to kick him off the couch for the night.

Papyrus brings them a blanket. At one point, without him noticing, Sans (presumably— since no one else can move that unnoticed) leaves a bag of takeout from Grillby’s next to the couch. Tempus eats his feelings in the form of then-cold fries. When he and WD catch each other’s eye at one point, Tempus looks away. Never one to push, WD leaves him alone.

In truth, he’s kind of pissed at his cousin. No, that’s not true. He’s livid. Sure: WD took him to the castle, and brought them home, and healed them. But he saw Seeker leave and wasn’t going to say anything? He knew full well what would have happened. He would have let her be killed. Even knowing how Tempus feels, even knowing she meant no harm, even knowing she thought of him as a friend! A human may be powerful, but not only is it blatantly obvious that Seeker would never kill, if WD had any doubt that Asgore would prevail, he would not have let her go.

He knew, he knew that he was letting her walk to her death. And then he tried to convince Tempus to let it happen.

WD is a nervous guy, and fears humans. As comfortable with Seeker as he had allowed himself to become in the last few months, none of the other skeletons were under the mistaken impression that he liked her very much. Even still, Tempus had thought it was more out of fear of being discovered or reported, out of fear for his reputation maybe, out of a lifetime of only focusing on humans’ potential for harm. Never, not once did Tempus think that WD, the cousin he was closest to, would just let someone die. And not just anyone— someone Tempus cares about.

In the end, is this how it really is? Not even the people you love care enough to tell you the truth unless you force it out of them. If it weren’t strictly necessary, would anyone actually tell him anything? Could he even trust them when they did?

Slapped in the face twice in one day.

…These fries taste awful cold.

- - -

Seeker wakes up late at night, when it’s dark in the house and everyone is quiet. Her head hurts like she got hit with a bat. …Why does it smell like fries? And what is she laying on? She sits up.

Oh.

Tempus.

Everything comes rushing back all at once and the guilt almost makes her vomit. He’s sleeping, but must not have fallen asleep too long ago because he looks like he’s been crying. It makes her heart twist so painfully that her eyes water a little. He was crying. And it was her fault. Gosh, he deserves so much better than her. When she thinks about everything he’s done for her, and how she’s repaid him…

A sharp, bitter laugh tears out of her before she can stop it. She still owes him $20.

Her stomach gurgles. She knows she’s hungry, and needs to eat, but the idea of eating is utterly repulsive with the nauseating guilt. Instead, she leans over Tempus again. He fell asleep with his glasses on. Wait, didn’t she have hers on too? It only takes a split second to locate them on the side table next to the arm of the couch where Tempus’s head rests. He must have taken them off for her. It’s never comfortable to sleep with them on, after all. She moves to do the same for him, but freezes just before. The scene from earlier plays in her head, so vivid it’s like it’s happening in front of her, and she flinches away to cover her face and claw at her hair.

“BAD bad bad bad—”

It’s a tendency— or perhaps a compulsion, because she can’t always stop herself— when unpleasant memories intrude like this, to hiss something at them in a frantic whisper. To make them go away.

“I’ll do better I’ll do better—!”

It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last. But usually it’s older memories, not fresh ones.

She doesn’t try again to remove his glasses.

As much as she enjoys the thought of cuddling with him, she doesn’t feel totally comfortable with the idea of sharing a sleeping space just yet. She fell asleep on him in her exhausted misery, and she doesn’t blame him for not wanting to leave her alone. He probably didn’t think she would sleep so long, or that he would fall asleep too. But now that she’s awake, the best thing to do would probably be to sleep elsewhere.

…She very much does not want to leave. It’s cold outside, even just to get to where she’s claimed a “room” in the shed. And there’s nowhere else in the house. Well, there’s the floor. The floor would be alright— she can fall asleep just about anywhere, truthfully. But she’ll need another blanket. And maybe a pillow, if she can find one.

Seeker slowly moves to get off the couch without disturbing Tempus. She’s fairly certain she’s successful, too, until she turns and makes to step away.

“Seeker—! Don’t leave,” comes his voice, pleading and scratchy with sleep and tears, as small as she’s ever heard it. “Please.”

She spins with a pang in her heart to see Tempus’s outstretched hand reaching for her, eyes burning hollow periwinkle and already brimming with tears.

“Stars, please, Seeker. Please—”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she rushes to reassure, on her knees beside him in an instant with his hand in hers. “Just getting another blanket.”

He blinks at her, seemingly all the way awake now, then laughs bitterly and covers his face with his free hand, knees coming up as he curls. “Blanket.” He sighs, and smiles grimly through what she assumes is embarrassment. “Of course.”

“I’ll… be right back.” She squeezes his hand, then lets it go.

A moment later sees her return with a blanket and pillow. Tempus is sitting upright now, feet on the floor, with his face in his hands and his glasses pushed up to his forehead rather than taken off. Seeker slowly lowers to the couch beside him, pillow and blanket set to the side.

“I’m sorry,” she says, quietly. “I should have… done it differently.”

“You can get a blanket if you really want to,” Tempus mumbles, rubbing his sockets with the heels of his hands. “If that’s what you… But a heads-up woulda— Just, anything not to scare me so bad.”

She swallows. “I just… I don’t know if I could’ve…. still brought myself to get up, if I’d woken you up first.” She wrings her hands. “I would’ve felt awful, because I wanted you to be able to sleep. I thought I could go and get it with you being none the wiser. Okay maybe just… just a little colder for a minute, but then—”

“You really thought I’d be none the wiser!?” Tempus snaps suddenly, turning to look at her. “If you just disappeared!? With no explanation!?”

Seeker flinches away. With his lip curled in a snarl and his eyelights flared, he looks like a wounded animal. But it’s gone in an instant, and the anger gives way to hurt as he looks away again. But it’s done, and she’s retreated from him to the far side of the couch, curled in on herself and holding back tears again.

He’s right. (Because she knows he wasn’t talking about the blanket.) It was selfish. And she hurt him. Of course he’s upset. No matter what he said earlier, it was stupid to think he wouldn’t be, just because she was still here, and alive. He was just putting it aside for her sake. Because of course he’d do that, he’s Tempus. Lord, why was everything he did all for her?

“I’m sorry,” he says, and it’s a whimper. (‘Stop,’ she begs mentally, ‘my heart is going to break at this rate!’) She blinks back tears as she stares into his wide eyes, no longer flared periwinkle. “Didn’t mean to snap at you,” he rasps in apology, too fast, “y-you’re still…”

Seeker shakes her head and scoots closer. He turns his head away from her once again. “No,” she murmurs, “I should’ve handled it differently. It was— It was selfish.”

“You wanted to help everyone,” he counters, “that’s not selfish.”

“I shouldn’t have just left,” she presses, hoping the remorse is clear in her voice. “I should have talked with you guys.” She pauses. “With you.”

It’s quiet.

It’s quiet for a long time.

The blue darkness feels so big and so small; The whole entire world is somewhere in this dark, and at the same time there’s nothing in existence but this room and this janky green couch and the two of them. The empty fullness of it feels its own sort of alive.

“‘t’s hard to believe you,” Tempus murmurs after a while. After it’s been long enough that Seeker isn’t sure he’s talking about the same thing anymore.

She swallows nervously, afraid of the answer to what she’s about to ask. “That I regret how I handled it…?”

His head is still turned away from her, in the quiet. He doesn’t answer right away. The hesitation is palpable, the held-back energy full of so many reasons for being so. When he finally does answer, his voice shakes, shudders.

“That you love me.”

Seeker feels her heart break right in half.

“A-And I know, it’s not the time—!” Tempus throws a hand up as he continues, voice finally breaking as it all comes pouring out, and it’s so thick with tears and the same distressed smile he keeps forcing. He looks at the ceiling. The next part comes out with a laugh that’s trying very hard not to be a sob. “Ya just lost your family, this— this isn’t gonna be somethin’ you can deal with right now. I get it!”

She reaches toward him, hand hovering over his shoulder as he breaks down.

“But—”

Her hand curls around his arm, and he spins around to face her with an expression that shatters what’s left of her heart.

“—But to leave a-an’ then not even talk to me when I came runnin’! Ya kept your eyes shut every time I tried to getcha to look! And when I finally— When ya did, it—” He swallows a hiccup and shakes his head, looking somehow even more hurt. His eyes are lit again. “You tricked me,” he whispers. “Cuz y’know I can’t see.” He lets that hang in the air for a moment. “A-An’ then, when ya realized ya can’t leave, then,” he laughs, almost incredulously, “then y’tell me ya love me.”

Seeker can barely look at him, but he deserves to be looked in the eye. He shakes his head. “I-I wanna believe you so bad, Seeker, but what’m I s’posed to think?”

It does sound worse, like that. It was a given that he’d be upset, but she hadn’t thought about how confused he must be. How contradictory her actions must seem. And lord, it crushes her to see him hurting like this. She’s overwhelmed, unsure how to proceed, weighed down by her own grief and still processing the fact that she almost died today, on top of all of this with Tempus. She only wanted to reassure him when she told him that she felt the same, earlier, with all he had done for her. But instead all she did was make it worse. Lord, she always makes everything worse, no matter how she tries to make things better.

“I-I—” She’s utterly at a loss, searching his watery eyes with her own damp ones and wanting nothing more than to somehow clarify everything, fix everything, make him feel like he’s hers and she wants him and loves him and it’s real, it’s all real!

Not knowing what else to do, what she could possibly say, she reaches for his hands and intertwines their fingers as she leans closer. “I do,” she insists, urgently. Frantic, almost. “I’m so bad at everything about this and I did a really, really terrible job of showing it, but I do, I do!”

Her heart is in her throat and tears are burning her eyes and the longer she looks at him the more pieces her heart breaks into.

“Everything you do is for me, even though I’m oblivious, even though sometimes I’m crappy to be around, even though I’m so bad at being a good friend, even though you haven’t gotten anything back for it but hurt. I-I thought if I told you how I feel the same way, after everything you did for me today, th-then it would be reassuring that it wasn’t for nothing. But I made it worse!! I’m so sorry, Tempus, I’m sorry for all of it! But I meant it—” She sniffs and drops her head. It’s a small thing, but maybe it will mean something; she brings his knuckles to her lips.

“I do… do love you,” she insists, softly. “I’m bad at it, but I wanna- I wanna prove it.” A sniffle. “I just need… a little time. T-To grieve.”

Tempus sniffs too, and when she looks up he’s still crying but his cheeks are flushed. He nods a couple times before finding his words, between the occasional hiccup.

“That’s fair. ‘M… ‘m sorry, I didn’t want t’… bring all this up. B-But it…”

Seeker shakes her head. “No, you’re hurting too. That should get talked about.” Her fingers tighten around his. “I’m sorry your feelings keep getting put on the back burner.”

“They’re not as im—” He’s cut off by her head whipping up and the intensity in her eyes.

“Don’t say that! It makes me feel awful!” she cries. His mouth clicks shut. Seeker leans in close, one hand untangling from his to hover close to his face as she looks him over with so much heartache. “Everything about you is important. Just as important as anything about anyone else.” She swallows. “And— and more. Important. Than stuff about anyone else. T-To… To me.”

He stares at her in bewilderment, and then his eyes go periwinkle— solid, with white centers this time— as a fresh wave of tears hits. Another hitch in his breathing, and he leans his face into her hovering hand and presses over it with his own hand.

“You have every right to be mad at me,” Seeker murmurs, miserable at the idea despite knowing it’s her own fault. “But don’t think I did any of this because I don’t care. Or- Or because you’re not as important.”

His eyes search hers, and his mouth opens like he wants to say something, but he changes his mind, and as he turns his eyes away, they fade back to just white. Still, he holds her hand to his face, and she thumbs away some stray tears.

“Tempus,” Seeker begins again, her voice still wobbly, and he glances back up. She makes sure she’s looking at him. “I’m sorry I took your glasses. And I’m sorry I threw them. That was…” She gulps. “That was a really shitty thing to do.”

She doesn’t like to swear, but occasionally there really is no other word that fits. This is one of those times. Tempus doesn’t even flinch at hearing it from her.

“…Yeah,” he whispers back, looking down. “It was.”

All the guilt she feels is deserved, she reminds herself. He doesn’t owe her forgiveness, either. And there’s more to apologize for.

“A-And I’m sorry I tricked you.”

His face scrunches up painfully and he almost turns away.

“It’s not an excuse,” she continues, “but in the moment I really did think it was the only way. Doesn’t make it okay, or right, but at- at least know it’s not because I didn’t…”

Didn’t what? Didn’t care about his well-being or safety? Obviously she must not, if she did that! Didn’t want him there? She didn’t, though, or she would’ve told him her plan ahead of time. There wasn’t a single good reason. Everything about that action betrayed a lack of respect. What could she even say?

“L-Like I said, I… should’ve handled the entire thing differently. And I’m sorry. F-For everything it implies.”

“Y’know I can’t see,” he whispers, an echo from earlier. Still doesn’t look at her.

“Y-Yeah.” She won’t try to avoid taking responsibility. Her hand squeezes around his. “It was too far. Way too far.” Seeker’s chest aches and it comes out in her voice. “I will never do anything like that again.” He finally looks back up at her. “You deserve more respect than that. I’m sorry. It doesn’t feel like enough, but I am.”

Silence as he searches her eyes, silence as she hopes he sees her earnestness in her expression, in her tears. Silence as he lowers his gaze and her heart drops with it.

“Promise.” It’s more of a question, a request, than a demand. Spoken so quietly she can barely hear.

“I swear to you.” No hesitation.

He pulls away from her hand on his face but doesn’t let go of it, and instead turns further to face her, leg up on the couch, and drops his head to rest against her shoulder when she turns too. He holds her hand against his face once more. Seeker lets go of his other hand to wrap her arm around his back.

“Okay,” is all he murmurs.

Is it acceptance, or resignation?

She rubs his back, slowly, up and down, tracing over the flattened spines down the middle when she comes to them. His little tail, sticking out from the bottom of his shirt, sways back and forth in time. Rather than say anything more, Seeker closes her eyes and presses her face against the top of his head. She’s so fortunate that after everything, he’s still here. Maybe he won’t want to be, once everything settles. That’s well within his right. But he’s here right now, and he wants to be close despite it all, and for never having acted on their feelings before now, really, holding him feels so natural.

Undoubtedly, he can feel her teardrops on his skull, but he doesn’t say anything. Seeker reflects on the irony of the whole situation: in a bid to save everything, she lost almost all of it. No more family. No way home. Maybe she could have coped with those facts better if she’d known sooner, and had her skeleton friends’ support. But instead it went like this, and she betrayed all of them, almost lost her life, almost lost Tempus— might still lose Tempus.

But he’s here for now. And she deserves whatever he decides to do, but right now, she just wants him to know, more than anything, that while her well-intentioned attempts to do the right thing were very misguided, while she was (and still is, even) prepared to give up who she cares about for the greater good—

“I love you.”

Said right against his skull, like she could somehow whisper it into his very being. She feels his fingers curl in the back of her shirt.

“I don't think… I could be very good to you. Right now. But if…” She swallows. This a lot to ask. She can hardly so much as whisper it. “If you'd wait… I’ll get better.”

Silence.

“J-Just think about it.”

He must be exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, physically. She feels his weight begin to sag against her– and while not especially so, he's heavier than she had once thought a skeleton would be. Maybe, maybe she can make an exception to her sleeping rule. These are extenuating circumstances.

“C’mere.”

With the pillow and blanket from earlier behind her, she shifts them around with one hand and holds Tempus close with the other. When it's sorted out, she leans back and pulls him with her. He doesn't fight it, instead adjusting himself as they move to better fit around her. Hesitantly, he finally removes his glasses, and reaches to set them on the arm of the couch behind her. It all ends with him half on his side, half on his stomach; half on her and half beside her. But the important thing is that his head is tucked under hers, and his arms are around her, and hers are around him. She pulls the blankets up over them.

One last little sniffle, and she squeezes him gently. “Get some sleep, Tem.”

He hums some sound at the nickname, but whether it's in approval or not, Seeker can't tell. In either case, he turns his face into her shoulder. She rests a hand on the back of his skull.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.”

[bayofwolves]

Rereading Hunted

I'm doing my first reread of Spirit Animals in years, in preparation for starting my biggest writing project yet, A Revised History of Erdas, and to my delight I'm discovering a lot of things that went over my head as a younger reader. I finished Hunted today, and wanted to talk about some of the more interesting things I noticed -- character details, plot holes and creepy implications. I wasn't expecting to enjoy this book so much, but I've found it tickled my brain just the right way.

So, here are some highlights from my reread -- stuff even I didn't pick up on before.

Please mind the tags as there is a brief mention of rape near the bottom of this post.

Conor looks to be strawberry-blonde on this cover, not golden-blonde as he's described in text. I feel like it suits him.

The war has actually been going on for a while, probably since well before Wild Born. Finn was fighting Conquerors when his brothers were massacred, and it's unlikely that event was recent enough to have taken place during Wild Born. There is also a moment in the first book when General Teng speculates that the Conquerors who are laying siege to Jano Rion entered the city over a period of years in order to avoid suspicion. It would be interesting if the authors tied this in more efficiently, and our protagonists had been living in an active war when they summoned the Four Fallen. This opens up a plot hole, though: the Conquerors operate under Shane, and because Shane is 13 when he mobilizes his people for war in The Book of Shane, the events of the main series must have started quite soon after this. Abeke mentions he's only a little older than she is in Wild Born; since Shane is already 13, he couldn't have been waging war for a few years before this.

The only background I could find for Kunaya's name is that it is of Zimbabwe origin and means "rain". Notice the connection? Abeke is a Rain Dancer.

Rollan mentions that his father is dead, in a way that suggests he knew him. This seems to have been retconned in Fire and Ice, as his father plays no part in Aidana's retelling of their past as a family. Indeed, he is never brought up again after this instance in Hunted.

The Earl of Trunswick was burning bodies. Our protagonists notice something off about the bonfire burning outside Trunswick, with Abeke and Meilin specifically noting its unpleasant smell. And most tellingly, when Conor and Rollan are captured, the Earl tells his soldiers to "burn the body with the rest" if Conor does not put Briggan into passive state. Who exactly the Earl was burning is not entirely clear, but a possible clue comes from a later chapter where he threatens Finn after the breakout from the Howling House. "Don't worry, Finn Cooley! We'll burn that troubled bond out of you yet!" he says. I'm inclined to believe the Earl was burning the bodies of spirit animals with the bonding sickness -- in a twisted attempt to cure their human companions, or merely to torture them further. It's possible he was burning human corpses too; Isilla the Greencloak is mentioned to have been killed, and I get the sense he wouldn't have treated her body with respect. In any case, this is a crazy thing to heavily imply and then never fully explain.

Tahlia is noticeably older than the other three kids. She even takes offense to being referred to as a child by Zerif. (In ARHoE, with the other three being around 13, I think I would place her at 18.)

Tahlia's entire existence doesn't make much sense -- she's supposed to be bonded to the Stetriolan legend of the water-holding frog, but this legend isn't even mentioned in the third arc when our protagonists go scouting for these same legends' bond tokens. Instead, it is replaced by Zhong's water dragon. Additionally, why would Stetriol even need a hero to inspire them? They already have Shane. They're the birthplace of the Conquerors -- what more inspiration do they need? It would make more sense if Tahlia was Zhongese and bonded to a water dragon, like Song's Seaspray. After all, if any nation needed someone to sway them to the Conquerors' side, it would be the fallen Zhong.

Ana, the Amayan girl with the Gila monster, was chosen to be a part of the False Four for her "exceeding connections". This makes me wonder if she was intended to be related or otherwise close to the Prime Minister of Amaya. It's never revealed what Zerif meant by this and Ana presumably dies in Fire and Ice.

The False Four in general are a really interesting (and promising) concept and I wish more was done with them. I wanted to see them rallying the four nations to the Conquerors' side and creating more of a threat to the Greencloaks! I wanted to see each of them directly paralleling the True Four! Instead, they all ended up incarcerated, insane or dead by the fourth book. Ah well. That's what AUs are for.

The absence of Lady MacDonnell is noted, but never explained. Interestingly, Rollan notices this in the same breath as he does Lord MacDonnell's children being so rigidly obedient. Considering Lord MacDonnell's character, I'm willing to bet he had his wife executed or otherwise removed for some transgression she made. After all, one of the Three Undeniable Truths is "death".

Lord MacDonnell is a really terrible guy. Despite aiding our protagonists in this book and The Evertree, he is a nasty person who keeps his own people in a permanent state of fear. This book is full of despicable characters, for sure.

What were Devin and Karmo intending to do with Abeke? And why her? Because of her connection to the Conquerors, I'm guessing. But it's never really explained. They tell her they're taking her back to Nilo, but there's no way they would just kindly take her home and let her go. Maybe the Conquerors planned to give her the Bile and then use her in some scheme. I wish this book wasn't so vague (but I also don't because it gives me more freedom as a writer).

Devin calls Abeke "vermin" in the final battle. Interestingly, Karmo doesn't seem to approve of this comment. In fact, Karmo is a lot more sympathetic than I remembered.

This is the only first arc book that Shane doesn't appear in, and for no apparent reason. I think it would have been a good choice to include him and plan to in ARHoE.

Finn has PTSD. Poor guy. I kind of like that he didn't return to Greenhaven at the end and instead stayed in Glengavin -- after all, it was the Greencloaks and their talk of destiny that led to Finn's brothers being killed, Donn retreating and Finn being so deeply scarred.

The Earl seems to threaten Conor's mother with rape in the foreboding letter he sends. I've seen several people discuss this. He tells Conor his family will starve if he doesn't hand over the Iron Boar, "and the fate of your mother will be far crueller". It's a chilling implication, and certainly a choice to include in a children's book.

Overall, Hunted is dark. For that reason, it's become one of my favourite books in the series. Beautiful cover, great writing, cool new guy introduced, failure for our protagonists and an epic cliffhanger. This one is a gem.

This is part of an ongoing series.

Wild Born | Hunted | Blood Ties | Fire and Ice | Against the Tide | Rise and Fall | The Evertree

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

[jawlipops]

this is very half assed comic but i wanted to get it out dkjgs

ok so here comes my brainrot for the last few days 

(wartime of farewells/knights au) i cant even really call it a rewrite tbh bc i just borrowed the roles and the names, the story is entirely diff im just writing mykr fanfiction fr

to give some context there was an event in the mobile game where the main 7 do a play called the warttime of farewells which covers two warring nations: The Sun Nation and the Black Lion Nation. they all have fancy european names but the ones im gonn talk about is Maya (Mariavera il Sole), Claudine (Claudia Schwarzwolf) and Kaoruko (Catalina Leopardo)

In my rewrite the Black Lion Nation was originally a vassal state of the Sun Nation: the largest empire in the known lands ruled by the Il Sole family. Pretty much the unquestioned sovereigns for generations every time there are diplomatic issues to be attended to, Mariavera’s father, the emperor Domineco il Sole calls the noble houses to their big fancy castle in the capital As a result, Claudia, Maria and Catalina spent a lot of time together as children naturally, Maria is super uptight and duty-bound even as a kid, whereas Claudia encourages her to let loose and they quickly become besties. (and maybe maria has just a little bit of a crush idk maybe 👉👈) Claudia comes from the Schwarzwolf family, a house renowned for its knights and duelists.

Catalina’s father Giorgos, eventually hatches a plan to claim power for the Black Lion Nation, and house Schwarzwolf is in on it. The night before the coup is to be set into motion, Claudia confides with Maria about the plan, and urges her to run away with them. Maria says she’ll think about it, but decides to tell her father. The next day the plan fails, but the heir to the throne, Maria’s older brother, Ermanno is killed. Giorgos and his insurrectionists escape the castle walls, and a violent war for sovereignty begins.

Years go by and during a celebration hosted at the Schwarzwolf fortress, the attendees, including all of the Schwarzwolf family, and Giorgos Leopardo are ambushed and slaughtered. Claudia manages to survive by playing dead. The building is set on fire, and she narrowly escapes through a hole in the wall. With the death of Giorgos Leopardo, the Black Lion Nation was handed off to Catalina’s uncle Tullius. A much meeker, and passive man compared to his brother. With nowhere else to go, Claudia heads north to the Black Lion Nation. She stays for several years until adulthood sheltered together with Catalina. Though eventually, Claudia being Claudia, gets fed up with Tullius’ inadequacy, and sets out on her own. She’s hellbent on getting revenge for her family now, and joins a group of roaming Black Lion radicals.

That’s all i got for setup, but Mariavera is now the heir, and general of the Sun Nation’s military force. She hasn’t seen Claudia since the day before the coup, and probably presumes that she died at the Schwarzwolf fortress u can imagine her surprise when they finally meet again and Maria’s all 🥺🥺 but claudia just wants to shove a blade through her heart

[animehouse-moe]

Mobile Suit Gundam - The Witch From Mercury S2 Episode 11: Unrelenting Tenderness

Ah, nothing like being stressed out for an entire episode as to whether or not Suletta will succumb to the high permet score, or if Guel will end up killed by Lauda or kill another family member, or if our Elan will go off and die like the others, or this that and the other thing, all to get faked out for the real danger/moment. Incredible work on the episode that skirts around a more high level narrative to instead approach characters head on to unify them for this "final" episode to come, so certainly lots to talk about!

Well actually, sort of unexpectedly, the episode starts with a Calibarn vs Aerial fight that's showing off to the max. Of course, Suletta and Eri are having their chat about ideals and what's right/what they should be doing, but I'm pretty sure most people understand what's going on, so I'll just share how absolutely cool the fighting is for these scenes.

The pacing is wild, and given the scale of the combat, I think the decision to take the objects further away from the viewer so details matter less was a great idea. It allows for incredible pace in the fight without worry of being perfect, or taking absolute ages to complete. Plus, the way the fight's constructed in three dimensional space, you still get close ups and flybys past the camera that allow you a closer glimpse into the combat. Just really, really well orchestrated combat for the feel that was desired of it.

Similarly, I love how well designed the combat style of the Calibarn is. If you notice through the sequence, Suletta isn't actually retaliating against the Gund Bits at all, rather she's purely evading them. As you'd expect of Calibarn. It's main form of movement is also its source of combat power as the, as I like to call it, "broomstick" is used for high powered propulsion through the fight. And I think that's a super cool idea for a design, especially with how this episode show it off.

But anyways, the fight rages on as Lauda engages with Guel, the Earth House + Elan + Bel, and Felsi all sortie to enter the fray as we cut to the opening.

Following the opening, and a bit more dancing around with various characters to establish where they are/what they're doing, the data storm of Quiet Zero suddenly begins to wane/fail. This is a really cool piece that reminds viewers of where Quiet Zero began. Under the supervision of Miorine's mother Notrette. It also reminds viewers about the fact that Delling Rembran continued the Quiet Zero project in secrecy, but disavowed the existence of Gundams. Anyways, I present to you the notion that Notrette still exists in the Data Storm, and that she's the one interfering with Prospera and Eri. Ericht's frustration in regards to the data storm stalling out are directed at someone, nothing something, but another person that shares a similar goal/ideal to Ericht. Prospera's comment on pest control. It all implies a lot of things, and there's not many others that would check enough boxes aside from Notrette.

We temporarily shift from Quiet Zero towards a very interesting conversation with the Space Assembly League. Given what we've known with the last while in regards to the league, I wouldn't say it was expected, but it was certainly a possibility that they would stick their nose into the situation in full. What I find most interesting about it is how much this opens up the world of GWitch. The existence of a massive space laser that's a "tool for transferring energy", and the idea that civil unrest and discord still exists on Earth, coupled with the fact that Shaddiq's character arc hasn't actually been concluded. There's a lot of moving pieces that say, "but we're not done yet!", so I'm very curious to see what comes from their involvement and the various politics surrounding the league as well as Earth.

Now, onto the most nerve-wracking and stressful part of the episode: Lauda vs Guel. My heart was in my throat this whole time. The conversation, the Gundam vs Mobile Suit, the flashback. So much of it. I'd been stressed since we saw Lauda show up in the last episode, and they certainly drew it out in today's, but the character development for Lauda in particular was outstanding.

The whole idea of the being the younger brother that just wanted to stand beside his sibling but never could rings so clearly with his words. That Guel chose Miorine over his own brother, that Guel killed their father and never told Lauda, that Guel left Lauda just as quickly as he returned. All he wants is the big brother that accepted him all those years ago, the big brother that give him the gift of a family, someone to look up to, someone to go running to when times were tough. It's an incredibly emotional piece that builds off of Guel's similar encounter with his father. It had me so scared. Going back into Lauda's memories to find Guel hug and accept Lauda, and then returning to see Guel's Dilanza embrace Lauda's Schwarzette in the same way as sparks fly and you sense the end of Guel.

I'll never forgive GWitch for scaring me that badly, but thank God Felsi had already rocketed out in her mobile suit to break up the fight. But yeah, Gigabob continues his tear of being the best boy this season, and brings his little brother Lauda under his wing finally. Incredible piece that gives Guel the chance to right the wrongs of his past with his father, and to step into the light with his burden lightened.

So with the most nerve-wracking sequence finished, we return to Earth House and Co who have infiltrated Quiet Zero and are trying to shut it down. It's tense and high stakes, and there's great moments like Bel standing up to Prospera, who represents the sins that Bel herself bears.

The real moment though is Miorine (and Notrette to a degree). Miorine is tasked with inputting the shut down code for Quiet Zero, which was originally 'Quod Erat Demonstrandum', or in the literal translation 'What Was To Be Shown'. Typically, it's used at the end of math proofs as a way to conclude them, so an interesting addition in the form of originally 'concluding' Quiet Zero while staying true to Notrette's penchant for latin phrases.

Of course, Prospera changed the code so it doesn't work, but like Eri hinted at earlier, Notrette isn't completely gone, and is still helping her daughter Miorine by providing a backdoor to which only she would know the answer: part of the genetic code of the tomatoes that her mother left behind. A really sweet piece that speaks to Notrette's love for Miorine, but also like I said further proves the existence of her within Quiet Zero/the Data Storm.

Truthfully, I think the introduction of Notrette via the data storm helps bring Suletta (and by extension Prospera) and Miorine closer as lead characters. Giving them something that's been lost, and that they struggle with through similar aspects allows them to be placed on equal footing while providing different approaches/ understandings to their unique situations.

But anyways, Quiet Zero gets shut down and the Benerit Group/Earth House/sorta Space Assembly League succeeds in their goal of defeating it. But the Space Assembly League at the top has a different idea, as they turn that weapon on Quiet Zero and fire, leaving Eri on her own to protect everyone.

I really like this piece, specifically because it's Eri's decision. It's Ericht moving to protect her mother and her little sister, and their friends and family. It's not Eri acting for the sake of Prospera, or under her order or wishes, it's one of the few scenes where Eri acts under her own agency and desire. And within that, it's incredibly ironic that she ends up destroyed.

And our episode ends here. Aerial destroyed, Quiet Zero shut down, no defenses, no protections as they stare down the barrel of the universe's most dangerous weapon.

A dire situation, one that seems to have little hope of surviving for our characters involved, but let me show you these details first.

Starting off with Prospera, her permet pattern is different. The shape is decidedly different from the usual that we see from all the other pilots/characters. Alongside that, she's not actually piloting or directly interacting with a Gundam or anything, so it shouldn't be visible in the first place. So why can we see it, and why is it different? Well, for one, she seems to use it as a way to connect/interact with Ericht and Aerial, but more than that I feel it's connected to Carbo Nado and Prospera's past with her that was teased in the prologue.

Secondly, I think it's easy to forget how Suletta refers to Aerial/Ericht, and how we're shown the girl/Gundam. Suletta commonly uses 'Miina' to refer to Aerial and her Gund Bits, which means "everyone". Suletta sees, experiences, and understands Aerial as a multitude of Ericht's, and we see them that way as well. Even in this episode we see several Ericht's that take the place/form of Gund Bits.

And if you pay attention to the wreckage, you'll notice that some of the Gund Bits from Aerial are still intact, floating around Suletta and Calibarn.

So I'm sure most know what this means, but Eri is still alive. Aerial is gone, but Ericht lives on through her Gund Bits, and will ultimately integrated with Suletta and Calibarn to form a defense against the Giant Space Laser ™️.

And that's the end of the episode, this time. For sure. Definitely. I'm really quite interested to see what they do with this final upcoming episode though. There's the potential to expand the scope of GWitch to place further focus on Earth through the Space Assembly and Shaddiq, but there's also the opportunity to call it a day with the final episode with whatever the outcome may be from that. It's a good position to find themselves in, and I think I'll be relatively satisfied with whatever they do there. So many character arcs have been resolved, and goals reached between them all. But it also doesn't mean there's an entire world for them to explore out there, for new challenges to arise or progression to be made, particularly with characters like Shaddiq and Miorine. Only time will tell though, and with a countdown of one week, we won't be left waiting long to find out.

[khruschevshoe]

On a third note when it comes to the problems with the writing in this season of ofmd...the handling of disability. Because good God.

To preface this before anyone jumps down my throat about getting upset: I am disabled myself, both physically and mentally. I carry a small laundry list of mild to moderate conditions that impair my daily functions. I understand what it is like to desire to see characters that carry disabilities similar and dissimilar to my own onscreen. I also understand that there ARE multiple disabled characters in OFMD (ex. Jackie with her wooden hand, Ed with his knee brace, Pete with his cleft palate, Lucius with his mentioned bad back/wooden finger). I UNDERSTAND that these were all generally handled decently well, incorporated without drawing attention to them (although the disappearance of Ed's knee brace was strange to me in season 2, even that I could get with bc personally I only need to use my cane when my knee flares bad and can walk perfectly normally the rest of the time without an aid).

Which is all to say: the way that Izzy's death was written is insidiously (likely unconsciously, but still) ableist. His entire arc this season revolves around community and recovering from trauma and accepting himself both in a queer sense and a DISTINCTLY DISABLED sense. The way he remarks upon his own disability and his acceptance of himself and the way that the show is written to have his crew member ACCOMODATE him joyfully as an EXPLICIT SYMBOL OF LOVE was a breath of fresh air when it comes to disabled characters. I also enjoyed the way that he pokes fun at it occasionally in the same way that I do with my coworkers/friends (joking "oh really, you're going to ask an invalid to do that?" *gestures at my cane*).

But that ending. God, that fucking ending. *vehemently taps table* The fact that this character who opens up, who is accepted for both sides of his identity after dragging himself through the fucking pits over them, is killed. BECAUSE HIS MOBILITY AID COULD BE SEEN BY THE ENEMY. BECAUSE HE WAS SEEN AS UNIQUELT VULNERABLE. And then they FUCKING PULL HIS MOBILITY AID, the very symbol of his acceptance, from his FUCKING BODY SO HE CANNOT BE BURIED WHOLE?

I'm sorry. I really am. I don't mean to get furious about this. But as a disabled person who saw such hope in this character, who saw a storyline about a part of myself that is rarely displayed onscreen (that slow acceptance of the part of yourself you considered broken + the acknowledgement of love by your family/community in the form of loving accommodation without complaint), this hurt me at a very primal level that I didn't know I could be hurt at.

I am SO GLAD that fanfic exists with better depictions of disabled arcs/endings bc I don't know if I could recover otherwise. Hope my fellow disabled folk out there are recovering as well, and that they understand that there is positivity to be made out of poison- it just wasn't what the finale gave us.