#mobile game ads

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[catgirl-kaiju]

y'all, we have a real fuckin problem.

too many soldiers are losing their lives from going through the minus numbers instead of through the plus numbers when fighting evil zombie hordes.

when big zombie comes, they will be completely unprepared for his massive attack and perish instantaneously. how can our troops protect us from the undead if they can't even unlock bigger guns without getting killed by collision with barrels or stacks of giant tires?

[amethystsoda]

memes to redraw, but they’re all from the weird Project Makeover ads 💀

[catboy-beckett]

So a few months back, I started getting ads for a game called Tokyo Debunker. The ads had WILDLY different tones and genres, not entirely unusual for mobile game ads, and usually I just ignore it when this happens. They want me to be curious so they can get me to download. It's a cheap, common trick, not worth my attention.

This time though, the ads were so bizarre and disconnected that it actually worked on me. I HAD to know what this game was about.

For context, here are all the screenshots I took of these ads:

(no, the bright flash on the second image isn't censorship, it's just a poorly-timed snapshot of a visual effect)

So, we're getting essentially three distinct genres of ads here: Dating Sim game, Horror game, and Cute Casual Cartoon Cat game. I think it's really the horror imagery that put these ads above the rabble. It was too high-effort and offputting. Normal clickbait goes for as generic and appealing as possible.

So, what was the truth? What IS the game, actually?

Well, uh.

Here are the actual screenshots I've taken in-game:

It's not just the ads that are all over the place, that's for sure. It turns out this IS a horror dating game filled with cute cats!

I'll explain further: the main mode of the game is a visual novel (that "story" button on the fourth screenshot) which occasionally has comic panels in the middle of scenes. In the background, you have the "Campus" where you can build facilities that generate currency that you can use to upgrade or build more facilities, and these gradually passively increase your character stats. What are stats for? Why, you can have your characters do battle with monsters or other players' teams! It's an auto-battler sort of thing so it's not very involved, but powering up the characters is surprisingly convoluted. Wait, how do you get "characters"? Oh, there's a gacha too! (The "summon" button.) The gacha is kinda shit to be honest; rates are bad enough but they lumped equipment and characters into the same banners, so even when there's a "rare guaranteed in 10 pulls" it might not even be a character.

It's definitely a romance game, though not the sort with "routes" or even story choices, really--you can get characters' affinity scores up outside of the story by making them fish or taking them camping (oh yeah the fishing is to summon cats to eat the fish and then if you're quick you can take photos of the cats, Neko Atsume style--) but nothing in the course of the story changes.

Honestly, I think this game is great. I've completed all the available chapters of the story so far, and the writing and characters are great. I love the horror too, and I really appreciate that they don't pull any punches with it just because this is fundamentally a game about flirting with eccentric 2D men. I hope in the future they revamp the gacha system to make it less ass.

BONUS:

Lightning round of ✨which aspects of these ads were accurate?✨

Rescue Him-- That artwork is in the game, but the minigame is not, and there is no need to "rescue him". He's fine. That's just Jiro. He's always like this.

Do You Always?-- That artwork is also in the game, though I'm not sure why Jin is labelled "guy from cafeteria". The UI is also not right.

Who is Cheating Whom?-- This one is interesting. Not only is this scene entirely fabricated (and the player is never tasked with solving riddles like this), I can only identify one of the characters. The guy on the right looks like Ren (albeit wearing another character's earring) but I have no idea who the guy on the left is? Rui or Towa are my best guesses, but I've heard that these ads just sometimes fabricate entire characters. That octopus is in the game though.

Vegetable Ninja-- Not a real minigame. That cat is one of the ones you can get in the Neko Atsume clone guild cat album, and it can indeed be seen slicing carrots.

Cat Town?-- This is real, just with more of the collectible cats added for flavour. (You can even see this area in one of my screenshots!) In the actual game, there ARE cats running around delivering messages, as well as chibi versions of the anime boys.

Eye Monster-- This monster is actually real! She appears in the beginning chapter. The human in front of her however, doesn't look like the protagonist or anyone else currently in the game. You also never see that pixelart style.

Customize Your Crush-- Not a real feature. You can pick which character you want on the home screen and can change their outfit to a limited extent, but you can't freely undress them or mess with their features. That character is named Alan though, and they did just release a shirtless card of him. Hi Alan!

Slenderman, Sadako, and Jeff the Killer-- Breaks my heart to say, they are not in the game. There is an anomaly that kind of looks like Slenderman, I suppose? The "You have been cursed" tagline is actually true though; in the beginning of the game, you DO get cursed.

Bathing in Blood-- Curiously, this scene is in the game... but it's not a horror scene. It's not sketched like that, it's not red and black and white, there's no explicit or implied blood. It's just a brief fanservicey scene of Leo in the bath.

Cat on Rails-- This one is the closest to being an actual minigame! There's an overhead view of a cat running along in the rhythm game "bonus stages" you get in-between some of the autobattler stages. You have to tap the screen to make the cat turn at certain points in time with the music. It's not very good, but it's easy to cheat. The cat is identical to the one pictured but the stage looks different and there's no food.

[matchakuracat]

i have beef with the super tiny exit signs on mobile game ads on behalf of my shaky hands

[zigmenthotep]

Bad Mobile Game Ad: The Roleplaying Game

Have you ever seen a deceptive ad for a mobile game showing gameplay elements that you know are definitely not in the game and thought, "Damn, if only I could bring that experience to my table?"

Yeah, me neither, but for some reason I still wrote a game based around my personal favorite fake gameplay style "Which number is bigger?" To play you'll need some friends, some d10s, and the rules included after the break.

Character Creation

Come up with your character concept, don't worry I believe in your ability to do that part without help.

Roll a d10, that value is your character's Power

Roll another d10 and add 5, that value is your character's Common Sense

That's it.

Playing This Cheap Parody of a Game

Characters start in a random location infested with enemies—perhaps a tower or dungeon—and are given some incredibly basic goal like resuing a princess or fucking a dragon.

If a character challenges an enemy with a Power score less than theirs, they automatically succeed, adding the defeated enemy's Power score to theirs and losing one point of Common Sense.

If a character challenges an enemy with an equal or higher Power score they suffer an embarrassing defeat and lose half their Power score.

However, when confronted with an enemy of a higher Power score, a character must test their Common Sense to not challenge them. This is done by rolling a d10, with success on a result equal to or less than the character's Common Sense. A character who fails this test must challenge the enemy, regardless of how obvious the power difference may be.

Power can also be increased by collecting items like weapons, armor, or horses.

Common Sense can be increased by purchasing crystal packs from the game master at the cost of $0.25 per d10 of Common Sense. Players may also gain one free d10 of Common Sense per session by giving the game a 5-star rating.

That's it. Have fun!

[chrislovescreepyshit]

Throwback to the time I got a mobile ad in the middle of my dream and accidentally woke myself while trying to close the ad

[pumpkingal23]

johnlocke? never heard of them. destiel? who?? true queerbaiting comes from the heart belonging to a misleading ad for a gacha game.

[ineffable-problem]

Crowley I get that you didn’t like him but identity theft is a serious crime

[catgirl-kaiju]

i feel like those mobile game ads when that woman and little girl have their survival up to the mercy and skill of some bumbling incompetent faceless player are actually torture porn and should be considered honorary saw sequels

[dead-byte]

There’s this ad I keep getting for a mobile game called Isekai: Slow Life, and it and it makes me cackle every time I see it

[itsraining-honey]

every time i see this stupid ass ad on here i always think its some really detailed black canary fanart 😭😭 IT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HER WHAT DO YOU MEAN THATS A VAMPIRE????

[thr4shit]

Mobile game ads are weird as fuck.

I legit just saw an ad for Matchington Mansion that opened like so:

*man and woman laying in bed together, woman is NOT obviously pregnant*

CAPTIONS: "Me when I have a stomach ache"

*woman's water breaks, baby appears out her ass suddenly, full on just pops out through her clothes and ass.

Did I mention the baby was fully haired and nicely dressed in a diaper? < it looked like she gave birth to a full ass 2 year old wtf?? *

Husband: YOU BIRTHED THE BED!

*grabs a fucking chainsaw and cuts the bed in half, dropping her off of it.*

CAPTIONS: "My husband never loves me (Leave) (Endure)"

WHAT THE FUCK??? HUH????

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO PLAY THAT GAME AFTER SEEING THAT AD???

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

You guys wanna see my favorite examples of "Marketing team with no furries on it trying to market to furries."?

Well too bad here there are anyway.

[killrisma]

mobile game ads back in the day: match 3 :)) defeat the candy witch!

mobile game ads now: your husband left you after your terminal cancer diagnosis. you’ve been given a haunted castle by your great aunt. the trees are alive, you can hear their screams in the night. the walls have secrets, listening to them is what cures you. your grandma is a serial killer. match 3 to ponder the incomprehensible horrors