chrislovescreepyshit

[chrislovescreepyshit]

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can I stay in bed until 2025

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funny thing about Turkiye

in here, McDonald's ice cream machines are always working

it's the Burger King's ice cream machines that are broken sometimes

[chrislovescreepyshit]

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[chrislovescreepyshit]

it's actually really funny that I've been the problem child of my whole family tree since seventh grade

I wasn't the black sheep of the family I was and still am the rotten apple of the family

mental illness? got it

homosexuality? got it

being unsuccessful at school and everything else I fucking do? got it

dyed hair? got it

not religious? got it

crippling anxiety and possible depression? got it

being suicidal? got it

being useless? got it

I'm the worst in every family gathering and I always cause trouble without even noticing it but as long as it's not noticeable to the other family members my parents don't even talk to me about this

I'm not even allowed to get any form of mental help because my dad has 'trauma' with it it's actually quite funny to deny your child of something they might need just because you got unlucky with it

I was ordered by my school to go to therapy at the start of 9th grade because I couldn't get used to high school and kept having heavy panic attacks and kept scratching myself

I actually felt better after receiving therapy but my dad didn't wanted me to continue because if any mental illness and such came to surface in the process and I had to take medicine it apparently could 'ruin my educational and working life because people would look at me like I'm a psychopath just because I'm using medicine for my mental health

which is also really funny because people have been looking at me like I'm a psychopath since fucking fifth grade and my dad has been ignoring it since it doesn't cause him serious problems

and bonus, my dad is the reason I probably need mental help because he kept yelling at me at the smallest inconvenience and now I go nonverbal whenever I get upset or panic and the only ways I can communicate when I go nonverbal is either speaking a different language or writing but he doesn't allow me to do that because he thinks I'm making shit up by exaggerating or for the pleasure of my dick

at this point it's causing everyone problems, not just me but according to both of my parents I'm doing this intentionally because I enjoy seeing them suffer

why

the

fuck

would I enjoy seeing my parents suffer because of me?

I don't know. because I don't enjoy it.

they don't know either because they think I enjoy it and won't tell them why

maybe you think I can talk to a counselor or a trusted teacher about this but if I do they'll tell my parents or look at my parents like they're murderers and if that happens I'll be in even more trouble

they wouldn't tell my parents because I'm going to an expensive school they would do it because it's causing me trouble but if that happens I'll get stamped as selfish and ungrateful and my already shitty relationship with my parents will go worse

this is another thing, I'm going to a private school because it's close to my house but it's not special, students there are worse because they go there because they think they're special, there's a kid in my classroom that I think literally gets off to bullying me and he bullied me to the edge of killing myself once I don't even know how I changed my mind honestly

and since this school is paid for, my parents get extremely upset and angry when I don't go for any reason, I could be deadly sick and they would be upset because I missed a school day in there

I had a headache that was killing me this morning and I suffocated trying to convince my mother I couldn't go because if I went to school today my headache would get worse and we both actually knew it yet it took me so long to convince her that my headache got worse while trying to convince her

why am I telling this to strangers on the internet instead of talking to my friends?

because they have their own problems and they already helped me a lot throughout my life and the least I can do in this situation is to not bother them with my own problems and listen to theirs

but when I listen to their problems I get even more stressed because it upsets me to the point of having headaches and stomachaches that the people I love are going through horrible stuff

why am I not talking to my parents about this instead then?

they wouldn't really care and it would just stress all three of us (and possibly my little brother) even more than we already are

[chrislovescreepyshit]

[chrislovescreepyshit]

character idea

this character's body temperature is always freezing and they can only warm themselves when someone who loves them back hugs them

[chrislovescreepyshit]

8th grade experience

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off topic but I think Jeff The Killer would like this song

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I'm not into cod all that much but I wanna head canon Captain Price as a cat magnet

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the funniest thing that’s happened to me recently is that someone seemingly tried to update my pronouns on the medical system but accidentally made it so that my actual name is now “They Them”

[chrislovescreepyshit]

its sooo cool messaging someone you think is cool. and then you find out they think YOURE cool like. awesome! yay! we should kiss

[chrislovescreepyshit]

this morning I actually blushed naturally lmao

[chrislovescreepyshit]

only 'hear me out's I have that are close to my age are a teenage dirtbag drummer, a pyromaniac zombie and a pinball addicted ghost

[chrislovescreepyshit]

HAPPY NEW YEAR :D

[chrislovescreepyshit]

I fell asleep and did nothing

fuck.

I have pins to make and a physics exam to attend tomorrow

I'm choosing to make pins instead of studying