#missed messages.
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They Do Not Exist (1974) by Mustafa Abu Ali (watch)
from PalestineCinema.com:
Salvaged from the ruins of Beirut after 1982, Abu Ali's early film has only recently been made available. Shooting under extraordinary conditions, the director, who worked with Godard on his Ici et Ailleurs (Here and Elsewhere), and founded the PLO's film division, covers conditions in Lebanon's refugee camps, the effects of Israeli bombardments, and the lives of guerrillas in training camps. They Do Not Exist is a stylistically unique work which demonstrates the intersection between the political and the aesthetic. Now recognised as a cornerstone in the development of Palestinian cinema, the film only received its Palestine premiere in 2003, when a group of Palestinian artists "smuggled" the director to a makeshift cinema in his hometown of Jerusalem (into which Israel bars his entry). Abu Ali, who saw his film for the first time in 20 years at this clandestine event noted: "We used to say 'Art for the Struggle', now it's 'Struggle for the Art'"
#mustafa abu ali#they do not exist#they do not exist 1974#for the missing subs pls message me for the link. just got the yt version and the subs to sync!#palestinian cinema#documentary#screencaps#global struggle#resistance#palestine#jean luc godard#post#history
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This is more personal than my usual content, but "missed messages." is a game I can only recommend, it's amazing, the art and theme and vibe- I just love it all SO MUCH :33
That being said, it does deal with sensitive topics like suicide, so if you would rather avoid playing a game dealing with that topic then I don't recommend this game, please stay safe everyone, you are loved and important, and if you feel like nobody cares or something like that, feel free to send me a dm or ask, anonymous or otherwise, and I'll reply as soon as I can ❤️❤️
#not writing either#love you all#please stay safe#missed messages.#the “forgive.” ending is definitely a very heavy one#and it took me a while to figure out how to get any other ending#though nowadays sometimes I get that ending on purpose#it also helps sometimes honestly#this game has honestly been my comfort game for a while#Angela He's art style is also really amazing to me#i bought their other game#“a new life.” is seriously epic too-#i hope you enjoyed my rambling in the tags XDD
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truly bonkers that this site will flag vaguely nude drawings at the drop of a hat but I can be presented a random women's entire pussy as a recommended post at any given moment from a bot
#i kinda miss when they just messaged me#the bots here are so crazy at least its like X with all the cryptos#god the shit we deal with these days lol
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#sibling coded 🤪
#it's canon I said so...#feel free to message me with the scenes I've missed I'm ready to make part 2 fyi#one piece#monkey d. luffy#nico robin#trafalgar law#nefertari vivi#tony tony chopper#straw hat pirates#animanga#opgraphics#opedit#onepieceedit#onepiecesource#tvedit#animeedit#oldanimeedit#opgifs#by me
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I am
• worried
• depressed
• uncomfortable
• upset
• afraid
• uneasy
it does not feel good.
I'm going to drink some water, take a nap, and deal with these things later
#I'm still waiting to hear back if I got my apartment#I just broke my glasses#I ran out of my meds and it might take a while to get more#I have so many people I need to message back#I fucked up and missed my therapy appointment yesterday#I'm with both of my parents for the holidays and I'm not out as she/her#I just feel gross
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REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)
#moonbin#astro#moon bin#i don't want to be here right now honestly i just wanted my last post about moonbin to be the ones where hes smiling as my last memory#it kills me to see my posts reblogged with sad messages now#and i still can't believe this news either#i've been mia anyway but now im even less inclined to go on tumblr rn#im so sorry for everyone including family/friends of bin#and himself but i cant think about that bc it will break me apart#rest in peace bin i'll miss you more than anything
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blocking anyone who is annoying on here to preemptively deny them access to my beautiful posts like saint peter at the gates of heaven
#get an error message boy#i literally will block anyone at any time.#when i do it its based and beautiful when other people do it theyre sensitive and overreacting and missing the point#kora.txt
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He just wants to be missed
#gravity falls#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#billford#shitpost#the amount of times Bill asks if people will miss him is something he needs to bring up in therapy#did your parents not love you enough Bill?#your issues are showing#ignore the mistakes#I’m too tired to fix them#and honestly not emotionally stable enough#feeling like a piece of shit rn and I haven’t even done anything wrong#…um but#did you guys miss me? 🥺🥺🥺#one day I’m gonna stop posting entirely and wait patiently for the ‘omg are you okay’ messages that will never come in#and then give up and post again#I never said I was any better than him here#I too constantly crave validation from others and really want to be missed
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guys, i think the hermits are going to accidentally start a prank war again. because just like last time, a game of telephone has begun. first, false made iskall's build into ''false beans,'' her shop from the previous season. however, to give herself plausible deniability, she signs it with "love, Joel. x" due to his username, smallishbeans.
next, iskall sees this, and completely believes it. he thinks it was joel who pranked him, and as he says to pearl while showing off the sign, which he kept even after tearing the prank down, "joel gave me a kiss." in his most recent video, he pranks joel by sending him loads of anonymous messages in order to completely spam and fill his inbox, preventing him from getting any more mail, with notes such as "thinking about you. x"
of course, joel is going to have absolutely no context for this, because he didn't make the initial prank. so who is joel going to assume sent him all those messages while he was away on holiday? well, i have a guess.
etho.
#hermitcraft#joel smallishbeans#iskall85#ethoslab#falsesymmetry#was gonna include in the post but it made it way too long that the other option is he misreads the ''x'' as xisuma signing his name#and thinks. well god now xisuma is obsessed with me too?#like wrong person buddy iskall is apparently the obsessed one now#genuinely the funniest thing is that joel is away on holiday so he will have no idea these messages all came at once.#he might think someone just like really missed him over the course of several days dskjhf#and also this is ignoring the fact that any REAL MAIL people send him will despawn and be lost forever which will possibly#result in more chaos like whyd you never reply to my mail joel :c#this is not even scratching the surface of the possible prank war also this is one tiny branch of everything. not even getting into#the hermit statues and who's been building them etc etc#sorry this situation is just so. it's sooo.
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note-taking
pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
word count: 3,6k
summary: mc loves flustering sebastian with her notes during class😇
cw: NONE this is just fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, it takes a while for them to admit their feelings, I rated it M for some language/sexual themes
a/n: I laughed a lot as I wrote this on the train, I hope you enjoy reading about these two idiots (endearing) as much as I did writing them
A beetle slowly makes its way across Sebastian Sallow's desk.
The classroom is silent - save for the scratching of quills furiously calculating the Arithmatic probability of who will be the next Minister and the quiet murmur of his professor as she helps Hobhouse (how did he even get into the N.E.W.T. level?) - and Sebastian is going absolutely mad.
He counts how many seconds it takes for the beetle to reach his abandoned quill (fifteen). But, when it takes its seventh step after making it over the quill (an auspicious sign), Sebastian slams his hand down on top of it.
The loud noise echoes through the silent classroom and Sebastian hears her snickering coming from behind him as the whole class turns to see what has happened. His ears turn red, he wishes he could jinx her somehow, and yet he is terribly curious to see what she has sent him this time. Sebastian hopes that everyone has gone back to their equations and stops staring at him, because now that it's in his hands, his fingers are itching to open it. His hands eagerly - shamefully eager, if you ask him - unravel the note he's crumpled up in his hands - almost a shame that he destroyed the beetle, it was one of her better creations - and Sebastian soon curses his haste.
His ears would be an even deeper shade of red were his blood not currently draining to a different part of his body. Sebastian shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he continues reading the note, his eyes flying across the tiny note once, twice, three times before he crumples it up and adds it to the graveyard of the other notes she has been sending him all day. The words fuck my soaking cunt flash up at him and he adjusts his schoolbag so that if anyone were to walk past and look into it, they wouldn't suspect a thing.
You see, this has been going on all week. Sebastian knew that when his seventh year started, it was going to be the culmination of their academic rivalry, but he never expected this. That witch has made taunting him her personal vendetta, and it's working.
Sebastian can't get her out of his mind.
It started in Herbology on Monday, at exactly 7.37 in the morning. Sebastian had been sitting next to Ominis, both complaining under their breaths at how early Professor Garlick had made them wake up (something about the plants blooming - Sebastian can't remember now). He had seen a little snake slither past Ominis's hands, making its way directly to him, and he does remember that he thought it was quite strange that Ominis didn't seem to react to the snake's presence. And then - he took a closer look at it - he saw that it was made of paper. Curious, Sebastian had thought as he grabbed and unfolded it. Reading it started an unfortunate chain of events.
It started out innocently enough, he supposes. Well, if you can call the most indecent thing he's ever read innocent, then it started out innocently.
Sallow - let me just say how absolutely delicious you look in your jacket this morning. I find I want to rip it off of your broad shoulders. Did you hit a growth spurt this summer?
He had flushed, briefly glanced over his shoulder - maybe he could see a face as flushed as his was, watching his reaction, but nothing - before looking back to the note, squinting at the familiar (familiar?) handwriting when Ominis had interrupted him.
"Sebastian? I think we need to start trimming the budding flowers now..."
His voice had blended in with the buzzing in Sebastian's ears as he stared intently down at the note in his hands. He had soon figured out who sent it - how could he not recognize her handwriting? - and the rest of Herbology class had been an absolute disaster. He had spent the whole rest of his time haphazardly massacring his plants and ignoring Ominis's pleas for help as he ruminated on her and what did she mean by her note? Her maddening laughter floated over the sound of tiny, precise snips as Sebastian's classmates did as they were supposed to, boring into his mind as he tried his hardest to figure out what she was up to.
Her plan's working, whatever it is. Sebastian has been frustrated to no end. She's nobody to him, just Anne's annoying best friend. Well, that's not entirely true, and Sebastian doesn't like to lie to himself. She was his closest friend last year, and the year before...ever since she arrived at Hogwarts, really. They did everything together, but something had changed when she visited that summer.
She had spent less time laughing with him, instead choosing to whisper with Anne about Merlin knows what, sometimes looking at him with an expression he couldn't place that had started to drive him crazy.
Sebastian had decided that a certain someone made no sense, that he would ignore the strange way his stomach would flip in her presence, and that he would focus all of his energy into besting her at everything. Maybe if she was embarrassed about being inferior to him, she would stop all of this. Although he would never admit it, he had started having nightmares about her gasping beneath him and needing him, that strange look from the summer flashing in dream-her's eyes, blissful fantasies that have him waking up hard and needing to cast a silencing charm around his bed before he can start his days.
Needless to say, these dreams have become infinitely worse this week.
What started out as a joke has quickly spiraled into an obsession. She soon finds herself watching Sebastian with breathless anticipation every time she sends a note over to him, relishing in the deep flush of his cheeks as he sneaks glances over his shoulder at her.
She doesn't really know what possessed her to start in the first place. A stroke of daring, she supposes as she finishes her latest note with a flourish and charms it to fold itself into a tiny swallow. And, she muses, watching the bird fly towards its victim, it's rather fun to fluster him so.
It's what he deserves, after all, after she has spent a whole year pining after him. A whole bloody year of sighing as he leaned over her shoulder in the library to point at something in her textbook, of his chin resting on top of her head, of warm breath tickling her ears, of watching him defeat every opponent in Crossed Wands, of watching him laugh despite himself at her little quips in Transfiguration. Of making sure -
She stifles a smile as she watches Sebastian eagerly grab the swallow as it flitters towards him. At first, he had tried acting nonchalant, like a cat biding its time before it pounces. Ignoring the notes she's been sending until he can't stand it and then: squashing them, smashing them, trapping them in his large hands, long fingers eager to unfold the note and see what she has to say.
Now, he has abandoned any pretense of aloofness he might have had before.
She can see it in the rigid set of his shoulders. The tension releases somewhat every time he opens a note, but quickly returns as he crumples them up and adds them to his collection. She hopes he's getting as wound up as she is, hopes that he's beginning to know an ounce of the suffering he has been putting her through.
A small voice in the back of her head tells her that she's being unfair, that maybe he's just oblivious - but then, why would he have looked at her like that all summer? And - almost the most maddening thing of all - ever since their seventh year started, he has made it a point to try and best her in every class. She couldn't move on from her silly little crush even if she wanted to, when his deep voice cuts through hers every single class to answer first, when he's always right ahead of her in Potions to get the best ingredients, when he's the one standing across from her in the mock duels in Hecat's class and as he raises his wand and her breath catches in her throat and -... Well, it's only fair, then, that she tries to distract him during class.
She's wondering what the next note should say, is lightly rubbing the edges of the quill's feather against her lips - did she go too far with the latest note? - when the scraping of a chair next to her pulls her out of her thoughts. She jumps at the jarring noise, the quill clatters on the table as it falls, and she feels her own face flush when she sees Sebastian sprawling himself out in the seat right next to hers.
There's a look on his face that she's never seen before and she feels as if all of the air has left her body when he leans in close to her - she could start counting his freckles if her brain hadn't gone completely empty - warm breath tickling her ear as he breathes, "What do you think you're doing?"
She hasn't thought this far ahead.
Why hadn't it occurred to her that Sebastian might confront her about the notes?
"I..." she falters, trying to get her thoughts working again, so that she can find something to say to get her out of this situation. Because she didn't actually want him to notice her, did she? And, what could she possibly say in defense of the filthy things she's been sending him all week? She can't seem to break eye contact with him: she swallows nervously: she tries again: "I -"
Her words fail her once again, when Sebastian's warm hand comes to rest on top of her thigh. Her thick wool skirt might be acting as a barrier between them, but it somehow feels like he's touching her bare skin and her whole body heats up uncontrollably. Even like this, his touch is better - more electric - than what she's been imagining this whole time.
He turns away and pulls parchment out with the hand that isn't actively caressing her thigh, and reaches across her for the quill that has fallen from her fingers. She hears scratching as he starts working on his equations - she vaguely thinks that she should be working on them too, isn't she supposed to be trying to do better than him? But -... her breathing is shallow - all of her nerve endings have seemingly migrated to the spot on her inner thigh that Sebastian's thumb is now massaging in tiny circles - maybe her brain has just packed its bags and left on holiday to Bath for all the use it's giving her now.
He doesn't even spare her a glance during the rest of the class, continues to diligently work on his equations for the first time all week, but his large hand remains on her thigh, completely obliterating any thought from her mind that doesn't have something to do with the warmth that keeps pooling deep in her stomach at his touch.
When the class is blissfully (unfortunately) over, Sebastian finally pulls his hand away and she squeaks in protest against her wishes - her thigh is now cold - that must be it (just discomfort, that's all) - she doesn't feel the relief she thought she would at his absence. He smirks down at the parchment he's rolling up, packs everything into his school bag, and leaves her behind without his eyes darting to hers even once.
Seven notes.
She has sent Sebastian seven bloody notes over the course of the last three days, and as he looks over at the crumpled up papers sitting on the desk in his dorm room, notes he tried his best to smooth out, he feels his heart race increase. He doesn't understand why she's doing this, but he does understand how it's making him feel. He could barely even think during Arithmancy, knowing how much his presence was affecting her, feeling her warm thigh under his hand. And when she protested when he removed his hand, well. He had to get out of there as fast as possible.
Maybe it's a good thing she didn't have the presence of mind to look at his arithmatic equations during class, because they are, unfortunately, incomprehensible. He had to keep up the charade by pretending to scribble for the rest of class, but now he almost regrets it - almost - because his pride won't allow him to ask Amit for his notes.
Sebastian has spent the evening poring over his textbook, trying to make sense of something that should be coming easily to him - Anne doesn't tease him about his strange obsession with numbers for no reason - and yet, his eyes keep wandering over to her notes. (Why did he even take them out of his bag in the first place?) (Why hasn't he burned those blasted things yet?) He has decided to forego studying in the library, the common room, and the Undercroft (places where he might see the object of his inner turmoil), and yet he is still getting nothing done even in the peaceful silence of his dormitory. Because her letters are shouting at him.
Well, not really, as they aren't Howlers. They might as well be, though, with how much he has reread them since he took them out of his bag. A smile spreads across his face despite himself as he puts his plaid jacket - the one he wore on Monday - on his chair to wear tomorrow. That stupid smile doesn't leave his face as he brushes his teeth next to Ominis before bed (thanking Merlin that Ominis is blind and can't pester him about what he cannot see), nor does it leave as he tries to fall asleep that night.
Suffice it to say, Sebastian does not get much sleep that night.
"...caught her snogging Prewett in the boathouse."
"Oh Merlin." A giggle. "I wonder if he's any good. Don't look at me like that, I know you've wondered the same thing..."
She blushes as she tucks her head down, trying to concentrate on the reading before her but it's difficult. First, because Sacharissa is being entirely too loud as she gossips with Grace - they might be some of the first at breakfast, but that doesn't mean they're alone - and second, because she is reading the book she filched from Sacharissa's bag. It's been charmed to look like a History of Magic textbook (nobody would ever be interested enough in one of those to filch it back) and she hopes that it's enough to make sure that no one distracts her in her research.
She has never had experience of the amorous sort before, and she has run out of things to put in the letters she's been sending to Sebastian - they were all just things she had been thinking, or things that she's overheard the boys saying when they thought they were alone. But what she's been reading in Sacharissa's novel - if it can even be called that - are enough to make her so hot and bothered that she's not sure if she should retreat back to her dorm room to read it in peace. As her eyes fly over the words, she pictures Sebastian doing those things to her, with her, and it's enough to make it so she's not even sure she can look him in the eye ever again. The feeling of his hand on her thigh the day before has imprinted itself on her body and in her brain and she barely got any sleep because of it.
"What are you reading?" asks Anne as she plops herself down on the bench, trying to look over her shoulder. She flinches and slams her book shut as fast as possible, feeling her traitorous face heat up. She knows she's making it all more suspicious, but Anne cannot find out. Anne shrugs and starts buttering her toast, stifling a yawn. "I never knew that the Vampire Treatises of the 15th century were so interesting. By the way, have you seen my brother at all? I couldn't find him last night and - Oi, Sebastian!"
Anne stands halfway up and starts waving him over, and she wishes she could vanish. Maybe, instead of researching fresh ways to torture him, she should have been learning how to most effectively vanish oneself from the face of the Earth. She's sure the heat she feels burning her cheeks as she sees him walk over to them is translating to her face being a bright, red, ugly beacon calling to him.
As he walks over to their table, looking entirely too irresistible in that plaid jacket of his, Merlin, his growth spurt really -
"Ladies," he says, nodding at them as he takes a seat across the table, "how did you sleep?"
She knows he's giving her a pointed look as he asks, but she has started to choke on the pumpkin juice she started drinking as he walked over - she is, unfortunately, picturing them doing some of the filthy things she's just read together - and could she really make more of a fool of herself than she already has at this point? But then - he grabs her book. Her heart lurches but she can't do anything due to the fact she's still spluttering over her pumpkin juice, and she watches in horrified fascination as he starts flicking through the pages. His eyebrows raise steadily higher and higher as he reads, his own face turning a shade of red she's certain matches her own. She curses herself again - vampires are so interesting, of course he would want to read about them - she should have made the cover a topic she knows Sebastian hates, like a compendium of spells to boost fingernail growth or a Duncan Hobhouse biography - but it's too late now.
Sebastian clears his throat and glances at her, and she sees uncertainty, vulnerability in his eyes as they make brief contact with hers. Finally her brain starts working - quite possibly for the first time since she started this stupid game in Herbology on Monday - and she hastily stands up, snatching the book from Sebastian's hands - he puts up no resistance - and clutches it to her chest as she blurts out in one breath: "I-slept-terribly-last-night-and-it's-all-thanks-to-you."
And now, she's fleeing the Great Hall, wondering what's gotten into her.
She next sees Sebastian during their Ancient Runes class. Well, she doesn't actually see him: she's made it a point to be the first to enter the class, and keeps her head down as she stares at her parchment the second everything is set up perfectly. Inkwell - parchment - her stupid replacement quill - textbook - everything is in place. After the disastrous event otherwise known as breakfast, she's decided that she's over her silly little crush, and she will never think about Sebastian Sallow again. She will never think about things she might say that will make him laugh again, she will never think of book recommendations again, she will certainly never think of his strong hands caressing her thigh again, and she will never, ever -
A tiny paper fox climbs into her hand.
I didn't get any sleep last night either, because of you. P.S. I still have your quill.
She flushes and looks over her shoulder. Sebastian flashes her a crooked smile that makes her stomach lurch in an unfamiliar way, before he ducks his head down and continues to scribble his translations with her quill. Her quill. A new flash of hatred surges through her - that's what these intense feelings must be - and she decides she needs to get it back.
Instead of translations, she hatefully scribbles down everything that she wants to do to Sebastian Sallow - she wants punch his stupid face, wait: she wants to kiss his stupid freckled face and hold his silly beautiful hands and she wants to feel the deep rumble of his laugh after her jokes as she rests her head on his shoulder and she wants to read next to him and have things be back to how they always were, and yet she wants more than that, more than just being friends, it's what she's wanted all along, isn't it? - and she marches after him when the class has finished.
Sebastian doesn't spare her a glance even though he has to know she's behind him with how much noise her frustrated huffing makes as they weave through the throngs of students in the hallways. It's lunchtime, and yet instead of heading to the Great Hall, he's leading her somewhere else.
He finally stops when they reach the top of the Astronomy Tower, and she opens her mouth to protest. She knows she's terribly flushed, her chest heaving as she glares up at him: "You are despicable! I need my quill -"
She's cut off from speaking as before she knows it, his hands are caressing her face and he is kissing her. Oh, Merlin, it's better than she could have hoped it to be, and her own traitorous body and mind have forgotten the alliance formed against him in the face of Sebastian Sallow's persistence and she's wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down closer, making sure he can't get away from her again.
Maybe later she can show him all of her notes on how much she hates him and they can have a laugh. Maybe later they can revisit some passages from the book she filched.
But right now, she doesn't let go of Sebastian.
#i hope you guys enjoy this one!!#it’s just silly♥️♥️♥️#if I forgot to tag things please let me know!!#im super scatterbrained these days like really really busy#(moving to a new house this week and😵💫😵💫😵💫 I just write on the endless train rides😆)#so sorry if I miss messages/comments etc I am trying to keep up with them but😵💫#I have a lot on my plate rn…#I hope you all have an amazing week!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️#hogwarts legacy#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow fic#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian sallow smut#hogwarts legacy fic#Hogwarts legacy fanfic#sebastian sallow x reader
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Hiiii!!! Just wanna drop this here since Mychael was the perfect model to learn how to sculpt (for me atleast) since his unique features and such made grasping how the app I used for sculpting work so much easier!!
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WHOAA THIS IS SO COOL?
This is the second time (as far as I'm aware) someone's modeled out Mychael and it still blows me away. THIS TURNED OUT AMAZING!
You did a wonderful job, thank you so much!!
#mushroom oasis vn#fanart#kinda!#waaaa i looove the hair and face it turned out so good#ive done 3d modelling before so I know it's a bitch and a half to make hair and faces look right PLUS THE EYES#i mean this in the best way but i bet he tastes crunchy#howww did i miss this smh#i have like 630+ messages in my inbox im so sorry this got buried#everyone look right now RIGHT NOW
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"JC should have defended WWX and the Wen remnants-" babe he has no political capital right now. He's rebuilding his sect from the ground up after a war. He's been locked out of the Venerated Triad. He's the youngest sect leader. How could he have defended them and not doomed himself and his sect all over again.
#this isn't about defending his decisions or not this is about actually understanding why he can't do whatever he wants#if he wants to keep himself and his sect alive. it's not that hard to understand!!!#already resolving to ignore the comments on this#jiang cheng#jiang wanyin#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the untamed#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#i'm saying stuff#also on a personal level why should he defend the wens. did y'all miss the message that family is very very important in this time#isn't defending the wens a betrayal to his dead family and sect??? why tf would he want to defend them??#not gonna get into the siege of the burial mounds that's a Lot to talk about
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critical engagement and sincerity have not DISAPPEARED or anything but i do think the rise n dominance of short-form content has shifted the way we communicate and how we interact w art and media..the algorithm pushes n rewards a certain way of speaking and thinking, aka bite-sized and accessible. and if talking from your rolodex of go-to phrases or being braindead is the thing that keeps you in this positive feedback loop, then why stop. youre conditioned to not be earnest, or strange or difficult or longer than 280 characters. youll get thousands of likes for it. also im not against a good meme or anything honestly i think memes are like a connective tissue in internet culture and i actually think thats a beautiful thing.. but its when all your posts , thoughts , content are catered for an audience or popularity.. i feel like people become out of touch with their personal reactions or actual complex and nuanced feelings and discouraged from expressing them. its sad!
#i guess i just miss long blog posts/ message boards n forums/ early youtube and a different internet age...#ive been stewing on my general disdain for social media theres a looot more to say aghh#l1
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I DON'T WANT TO DIE
#ultrakill#ultrakill fanart#ultrakill v1#v1#v1 ultrakill#cw eyestrain#how are we feeling abt the new update chat#ngl when i saw the death message i got sad for v1 :sob:#“omg poor v1 it wants to live :(” dawg its clearing EVERYONE in hell#blud just wants blood to survive#also the fact it most likely wanted to scream but the vocal is missing (in one of the death messages) is just#ARGGHSHSGSSSSSSSSS#I am SO NORMAL (lie)#my art
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toby. portland, oregon. tay. you always regret what you don’t say. loved you from the very first day. i thought you got me. cmt awards. i moved out in july. adam. you thought i would forget. life is full of little interruptions. still to this day. forever and always. for you.
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okay so i think genuinely that the carbon monoxide poisoning shared hallucination has to do with Van, Akilah, and Shauna, and their various places in the wilderness/ways in which the wilderness is attached to them:
WITH AKILAH: the wilderness fed her berries that she gorged on and took her to animals, it even came and spoke to her in the form of the llama (presumably a creature akilah would view as cuddly, soft, nonthreatening, not a sheep but not a wolf, either) it gave her advice. everything that has teeth bites. and when the dream took her to the classroom, it pulled her through the dirt slowly. the wilderness has been frequently compared to the ground itself throughout the show; even Misty said "thank dirt" jokingly as a way to thank the wilderness. I think akilah getting pulled into the dirt was exactly that: the wilderness pulling her into it's embrace. Maybe travis was right, maybe the wilderness is talking to akilah, maybe it has a favorite.
in the classroom, the slap bracelet adheres harmlessly to akilah's wrist- the wilderness's loving embrace. it doesn't want to harm akilah, but it will have her eventually, one way or another.
WITH VAN: the wilderness took her back to the cabin. it put a roof over her head, gave her a cozy chair, and a warm fire. but after a moment of rest, van was trapped in like she was in the plane, stuck and burning. it also isn't remiss to me how van goes to the cabin pre-decay, how everything looks upkept, im not sure if this is an allusion to the ways that van is stuck in the past or something else. i think that is the gist of it though; the wilderness is van's home, and she is trapped there, trying to escape but always opening doors that lead right back to it.
in the classroom, when van tries the slap bracelet, it scratches her but not enough to maim or kill: i think this maybe means that the wilderness can't hurt van, won't hurt van, but van isn't as unkillable as she seems. She can still be hurt and killed, but not by the wilderness- maybe something else will end up being her demise.
WITH SHAUNA: i find it so fascinating that in shauna's vision she is in the lake, very similarly to how lottie was during her baptism scene, and she's dragged down to the bottom of the water as lottie was too. but, of course, the obvious: shauna's pursuit of the things she cannot have. shauna, constantly swimming towards the shore, chasing after her son, who she lost, trying to bring back jackie, trying to grapple for power in the group. shauna is in such a unique position because she has never once in the course of what we've seen give in to or believe in the wilderness, except to hunt (and maybe for shauna, the hunt is something more selfish), and it almost seems in this moment, the wilderness is punishing her for it,
because the slap bracelet completely rejects her. it tries to kill her. wraps arounf her neck and chokes her, cuts through her skin. obviously we know in the moment that thats actually because shauna was choking on the gas in the cave, but what if it's an indication of a bitter future for shauna? if shauna tries to steal the crown from natalie and name herself queen, i think this moment tells us explicity how the wilderness will react. firm rejection. the wilderness did not pick shauna. doesn't even seem to like her, really. and why should it? shauna doesn't believe in it, doesn't play by it's rules.
and lottie playing teacher in that scene. we know she feels cut off from the wilderness, and i think in this moment were seeing the reflection of her "pupilage". we know she's already set her sights on akilah but maybe in the future we'll see lottie trying to force van and shauna to commune with the wilderness as well.
and dont get me started on jackie. jackie still in her mean girl persona, judging everyone's reactions to the bracelet, the wilderness itself personified. she tells van that happens sometimes when she cries out from the pain like van is embarrassing for reacting, like she should've known all along what would happen if she took the bracelet. and we cant ignore that jackie's hair is noticeably longer, like time has passed for her, like she's changed too.
anyways, im so excited to see where this goes throughout the season. i love this show.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets season 3#shauna shipman#akilah yellowjackets#van palmer#lottie matthews#jackie taylor#yellowjackets theories#im thinkin thoughts.#please dm me or send me a message if yall think i missed something#but ive got my corkboard up dudes. ive got my hat on.
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