#how are we feeling abt the new update chat

[starp00k]

I DON'T WANT TO DIE

[m1ss1ngt3xtur3]

oh.hhhh my fuck new pvp civilization dropped. im. sbuddgsjxnsvksl

thoughts under the cut

"im probably team evbo on this one" HESS LOYAL!!!!! HE CARES oh my fucking GOD hes CARES abt evbo!!!!! fake ass idgafer i SAW you caring!!! i SAW you choose to help EVBO at no discernible benefit to yourself!! guardbo is so perfect the make me SICK oh my goddd,,, guardbo gang eating GOOD this season <333

our boy actually got through to seawatt! you love to see it

hes trying to get ray on the journals thats,, actually adorable,,,, hhe just wabts to share his special interest with is bf omggg,,,,

"im sure well get a guard update soon" ok this is definitely foreshadowing. looking forward to whatever shakes out there!

"is there a pvp marketplace around here" evbo honey i know you love shopping but can you PLEASE take this shit seriously

"that just sounds like you have a severe shopping addiction" get his ass seawwtt <33

"he said something like he hoped my bow would break and id die" ily seawatt never stop hating<333. also very funny to me how evbo just Does Not Acknowledge that

"do they want to wipe us out because our pvp marketplaces are so much better??" AKHSVWJDO NEVER CHANGE EVBO <333

also funny: seavbo seems to be getting the same "enemies to grudging coworkers" arc as guardbo. time will tell if they also get the same "totally-not-friends to lovers" thing

"i honestly would do anything for one more time where its just tabi and i against the world" HEY WHAT IF I CRIED.

GUARDBO IS SO REAL like. evbo talking abt how he wishes it was just him and his crush against the world (immediately after) "its just me and [the guard] against the world" WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS

EVBO WHYYYY ARE YOU SO DUMB <3333 /VPOS

oh seawatt seems to have become something of a leader to the remaining bows? eager to see where that goes. also implied bow found family, you love to see it <333

wemmbu my beloved they are SUCH besties omgggg

"can i finish the video jounal update" "we can overcome this with the power of... a ~*~positive mindset~*~" oh so theyre actually just the same person ok /silly

ZAM YOU CONNIV8NG LITTLE BASTARD. I HATE HIM I NEED HUM TO DIES AAAAUGHGHH /VPOS

OOUGHGHH HES SO SMUG FUCKING BIIIIIITCH <333 STILL THREATENING & MANIPULQTING EVBO AFTER EVERYTHING AUUHOUGHHHGG im normal. im normal abt this

OOOOH they ALL decide to let zam through. FASCINATING implications there. gotta rotate that in my brain for a while

"i guess im doing you a favor by getting rid of her ^u^" AUSUGSGKIQJ THIS FUCKING BITCHHH I HATE HIM

EVBO SNAPPING AT ZAM LASHING OUT AT HIS TORMENTOR BEUATIFUL INCREDIBLE IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM

"i will be the GOD of this world" SIR??? ouugh im. im normal im SO normal abt this guy. cant WAIT to see where thats going

chat how are we feeling about clownbo.

fr though clown is shaping up to be such a fascinating character?? like. so far his defining character trait seems to be concern for morality, or at the very least how one evaluates the value of lives. first telling tabi she didnt deserve to die, now interrogating evbo about his sense of ethics... it really feels like were building up to something here. hes such an interesting character already and weve barely met him?? i need to study this guy

also clown really heard tabi talk about her sword friend and decided he needed to see this guy for himself huh. to me this is shipfic material... but for which pair...

back to clownbo they have such a fun dynamic here. like clown seems absolutely fascinated by evbo... evbo is deeply intimidated and also horribly confused by clown... theyre both inexplicably concerned with good & evil despite living in fucking pvp civilization... and then clown spares him for whatever reason?? cant wait to see what thats about

there seems to be a pattern of evbo freezing up in the face of credible threats to his life - first when he went through the red gate for the first time, then when he dies in bow civ (afraid of another fight for the armor stand), and now when clown pulls out the eternal axe. idk i just think its an interesting bit of characterization

feels very significant that clown spared evbo. feels VERY significant that both clown and tabi were given the opportunity to permanently kill evbo, practically on a silver platter. and both turned it down, knowing full well he would actively work to stop them. that only one of them could survive. and yet both of them chose to let evbo live, for the moment.

obviously tabi had 90% of s1 to get attached to evbo but what the hell is clowns stake in him??? WHAT is this guys deal i need to see more of him right fucking now

also (to tabi) "you dont deserve to die yet" vs (to evbo) "now is not your time to die" i???? aaaaugh the parallels. i need to make a whole nother post abt that

AAAUGHGG TABIS VOICE SHAKIGN WHEN SHE PRESUMES EVBO IS DEAD FOR REAL. "so i would say you did what you had to do" ITS SO,,,, SHE WANTS TO NOT CARE ABOUT HIM SO BAD I,, AAAUUAAUGAHGDMDHKWJSHGE

also "what would you say if i said yes" theres GOTTA be something going on here. clown pierce what the genuine absolute FUCK is your deal bro

"the eternal trident is all that matters now" OOOUUHGHUOOGGHHHG EVBO MATTERS TO HER,,, IM,, AAAUUGHDHKSNEJSKGDOSKWN

aauaugh evbos dynamics with everyone are SO good i am THRIVING over here

chat what if i wrote the end of the episode from clowns perspective. i definitely wont but is that something yall would like to see

[cliowo]

In this essay, i will explain the reasons why sky children of the light has become an increasingly unwelcoming game to new players and veterans alike-

Yeah yeah i usually only share my words here but tumblr feels like a really comfy place for me to share unfiltered thoughts and i needed somewhere to vent ig (skip if you have no idea what I'm talking about)

When I first started playing in prophecy, sky was a really fun game. We didn't have the request for a guide function then and I'm actually really grateful for it because the joy was in exploring each of the different realms and season areas on my own and randomly stumbling across spirits whose stories were waiting for me to discover. Maybe it was because I was a dumb moth - i didn't even know how to access seasonal spirits trees - but the pressure to cr just wasn't as intense as it is for moths today. The back to back seasons and "days of" events seem to have sucked the fun of exploring the world of sky for moths because they're so focused on grinding for candles/hearts/event currency that they just dont slow to smell the in-game roses anymore. And the thing is I get it because there's just so many new cosmetics as well as older ones from past seasons and events to farm for.

I mean sure you don't have to collect every cosmetic but 1 cape costs like 70 candles on average, same for a pair of pants iirc, a prop/acessory at 40-70 candles (70 if its an instrument??) , and hair at around 40-50 candles; and the best part is you can only earn 20-21 candles max in 1 reset 🤡 Add all of that plus the need to look for event currency in fear of facing such prices in the event rerun and you get stressed out moths facing existential crises every 2 weeks when ts arrives😀 Sorry moths, the economy is bad irl and just as bad in sky.

And what of the veterans? Yeah, well, we get no friends as everyone starts to quit the game and those that stay live off copium revisiting the places we once visited with friends- Or maybe that's just me

New friends, you say? *cue flashback to moths begging for help with cr* we exchanged like maybe 5 sentences max at chat benches🥲 i have nothing against helping out but it does make it difficult to form a bond when they disappear right after and you fade into their constellation of ubers

And then we have the seasons.

... Honestly the only season that made an impression with me after aurora was the recently concluded season of the 9 coloured deer, which was also another collab season💀

I actually had to check the sky wiki for this:

Remembrance - ironically very forgettable. What was the story again? Was it the one with the group of spirits living in one specific hole in vault like why- vault is bigger than that sad hole- OH THE PLUSHIES okay maybe this one was passable... im trying okay

Passage - ??? Havent finished this season's quests so uh- so far it seems like... a cult..? In isle...?

Moments - if they wanted a camera in-game, they could have just added it to like the days of sunlight event (the camping one) or smtg. They did not have to force a season for a camera💀 imho the camera was the only thing worth mentioning abt this season and i don't even take pictures

Revival - i suppose aviary is pretty and it's nice that the spirits have somewhere to stay now. Not particularly impressed. Don't really remember the story in this one.

...i heard rumours of a furniture season after the 9 coloured deer. Looking forward to hearing what they'll name this one lmao

The quality of "days of" events is still acceptable to me. Just maybe ignore the numerous iaps and the fact that we have multiple umbrellas but only 1 is f2p (don't understand whats up w that btw)

And also the recurring bugs💀 I've been playing for at least 3 years and I've faced these bugs/problems multiple times:

1. Unable to light frends constellations because the screen just yeets itself into oblivion or some random environment feature where i cant press the button

2. Game crashes (after every update istg-)

3. Splitting servers

4. Sky discrimination and gate keeping, aka refusing to let me open the game

5. Being unable to collect currency/dailies (it's not my internet i checked)

The lack of compensation is another matter entirely

I don't know man I'm tired. The only reason why I still have it installed is because it's my only link to the people I used to have fun and relax with. Not everyone has discord or insta or some other social media.

If you made it this far thank you for coming to my ted talk. Feel free to leave your thoughts- just remember to be respectful

Tldr:

The sky economy is bad. For everyone. Moths (and maybe even vets) are stressed out and vets are losing friends. The seasons are increasingly dull and the long-lived bugs are frustrating.

[heygirltimeformorning]

Snippet Sunday

tagged by @playinginthunderstorms LAST Sunday & I'm doing it this Sunday so that I can tag her back

This is from a new WIP (all my other WIPs look at me in betrayal) that's a queer English teacher AU (inspired by THISSS obviously) wherein both Eddie and Buck teach in the same English department.

In other words, the queer English teacher (me) is writing the [checks notes] queer English teacher AU. That tracks.

title: the tortured poets department

Premise (because I am terrified people won't get what I'm doing in this snippet): Buck and Eddie's shared students (one of whom is Ravi) ship them in a group chat. There are obviously some OCs here, but the fic is Buddie focused (because duh??).

Ravi: [sent 10:03 to ttpd] so what do we think the story behind Jones getting the axe is [10:04] I’m accepting bets in the form of cash or venmo - no bearbucks, Donato, you still owe me from being right about Dr. Mr. Davis divorcing Dr. Mrs. Davis in favor of that TA.

Lucy: [sent 10:04] ykw ravi the bet clearly stated that dr mr would divorce dr mrs before midterm and that didn’t happen, so i feel like the bearbucks were a good compromise for you changing the parameters last minute

Ravi: [sent 10:04] and i feel like if ur broke u could just say that [10:05] also does anyone else have the tesol soci class with the new prof later? Think his name is Diaz. he sounds like a hottie. [sent 10:05] Besdies askldfiuyghkl;aWER

Sam: [sent 10:06] ravi? [sent 10:06] you good?

Theo: [sent 10:06] Ravi?

Ella: [sent 10:06] shit did ravi get raptured

Callie: [sent 10:07]  ella for the last time that’s not an actual thing

Ella: [sent 10:07] i was being funny its called having a sense of humor something you would know nothing about you gross bitch

Callie: [sent 10:08] he’s indian, ella, he wouldnt get raptured anyway

Ella:[sent 10:08] at least i have a sense of humor and im not a racist [sent 10:09] i am so totally getting raptured

Lucy: [sent 10:11] buck got ravi he’s fkn pissed today good luck to whoever has his oe sem later [sent 10:11] usually hes not this much of a tightass abt phones but he saw ravi texting and yelled something about being tired of being taken advantage of and that he can be cool and fun too but he can also be very serious [sent 10:12] ravi jumped like a foot in the air and put his phone away [sent 10:12] srsly havent seen him this be much of an ass since nash told him he had to pick one club to sponsor and let other faculty sponsor the rest

Lena: [sent 10:13] luce r u risking ur life texting us updates [sent 10:13] ur so brave and sexy

Taylor: [sent 10:14] I bet I could get him calmed down before oe sem [sent 10:14] ;)

Ella: [sent 10:14] he has a boyfriend Taylor

Lena: [sent 10:14] hes taken taylor

Lucy: [sent 10:14] he’s mentioned his boyfriend at least 3x this lecture alone, taylor

Callie: [sent 10:14] don’t be homophobic Taylor

Sam: [sent 10:15] guys if my phone buzzes one more time, the other buckley is going to make me leave and she’s covering pharm do you know how hard pharm is

Ella:[sent 10:15] ravi will help u get caught up in pharm, sam, dw!

Theo: [sent 10:17] you can calm me down before OE Sem, Taylor ;)

Lucy: [sent 10:18] theo if u dont quit bein horny on main im going to report you to oaa

Theo [sent 10:18]: oh so it’s fine if Lena flirts with you, but I can’t shoot my shot with Taylor?

Lena: [sent 10:19]: obviously

Callie [sent 10:19]: theo bro GET UP

Sam:[sent 10:27]  stop shipping me with ravi

want more?

no pressure tags: @playinginthunderstorms @dracculaura @distractionpie & anyone else who wants to play!

[daydark4k]

hi everyone !! im organizing a little event over on twitter, i thought i’d post it here to reach some ppl who may not have twitter but who would be interested in participating. since ranboos fanbase has a large number of active members, i wanted to help put together a little event to spread some of our love to other streamers! :D this is an event organized within ranboos fans, but is NOT about ranboo- this is abt uplifting a fellow streamer :)

THE PLAN: niki is going to be live today! we don't know what time yet, but the plan is to "raid" her- give her subs, donos, and some kind chat messages to brighten her day.

WHEN I KNOW THE TIME, I WILL ADD TO THIS POST! for example, if she goes live during ranboos stream, i want to wait for ~20 minutes after he ends to do this (to prevent connecting this event to them). if she doesnt go live while he’s live, a specific time will be decided.

RULES - PLEASE READ BEFORE PARTICIPATING!!

DO NOT SPAM OR SAY "RAID" and don’t shout messages in all caps.

be respectful of chat. we are coming into a new place, we aren't trying to make everything about us. this is for niki! so engage positively, don't be annoying. we are here to support NIKI AND NIKI ONLY. don't bring up ranboo AT ALL, if asked where we're coming from, we're just a group of ppl wanting to spread some love!

DONATE AND SUB IF YOU ARE ABLE. words mean a lot but money is important and appreciated!

have fun! we're here to spread some positivity, it should be fun and make everyone, especially niki, happy! not stressed or annoyed.

Please try and keep apologizing/bring up negative stuff from the past to a minimum. Keep focusing on the positive!

most importantly, just have common sense. use your best judgement and tailor your support based on it. depending on the topic of stream, how niki and chat are feeling etc.

I will be adding onto this post when we get a concrete time plan, just trying to reach as many ppl as i can atm! if you want news on when this is happening quickest, i will be updating on my twitter first: also @/daydark4k. thanks for helping me put together this little event <3 

twitch.tv/nihachu 

[fairyblue-alchemist]

Xanthe hiii how r u 🫶🏻 I've only played sdv on my phone but I've been curious abt mods for my laptop, I've just never played it on there bc I got overwhelmed 😂 what mods do u suggest? Pls and ty 🙏 ❤️

ELVIEEEEE HIIIIIIIIII i'm doing good ^^ i managed to escape my finals with ok grades and now i'm across the pacific ocean at a cousin's wedding. oops! dw about that btw i'm kinda antisocial and i know like 5 people here :P

how are you!!!!!! i know we haven't talked that much in a long while but you'll always have a place in my heart my dear elvie ♡♡ i still have notifications turned on for you >:3

but anyway!!!! mods time >:]

quick guide on how to install the api for hosting mods + where to download them:

https://stardewvalleywiki.com/Modding:Player_Guide/Getting_Started

all the mods i use are from nexus, so all the mods i will be listing will be linked to that site! i'm putting it under a read more because it's kinda long hehe

list of recommended mods for stardew valley

- ui info suite 2: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/7098

- lookup anything: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/541

- canon friendly dialogue expansion: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/2544

- animal multiproduce- ducks/rabbits: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/27434

- ladder locator: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/3094

- experience bars: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/509

- better crafting: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/11115

- better ranching: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/859

- NPC map location: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/239

optional!

- self serve: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/20985

- big fish pond: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/28184

- happy birthday: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/520

- chests anywhere: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/518

- wear more rings: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/3214

- pack collection: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/29382

- stardrop (mod manager application): https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/10455

^ i recommend this last one a lot! it makes updating mods a breeze, especially because 1.6.15 just came out recently so a lot of mods are going to be updating in the near future to maintain compatibility

do not feel pressured to download all the mods i list!!! pick and choose as you'd like, each link has an overview of how that mod works and only pick what you want or think would fit your playstyle! the beauty of modding is changing the game how YOU want it, and feel free to explore around and see what other mods interest you once you have the api downloaded! the world is your osyter my friend and you are one of the most brilliant pearls i've ever seen ♡

also! depending on how comfortable you are with basically playing a whole new version of stardew valley, there's also stardew valley expanded! it's got SO. MUCH. STUFF. i'm on year 3 and i'm still not done finding new things to do. here's the link to that too: https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/3753

if you ever have any questions, feel free to ask/dm me!!! i'm always open to chatting with you ♡♡♡

[happyk44]

Been trying to write some nonsense abt PDs but struggling because how do you word thoughts again? Anyway, some updates to the propensity list! New ones are bolded!

Zeus/Jupiter: OCPD and Autism (based on being the god of law and order, and justice, as well as king of Olympus)

Poseidon: BPD, Bipolar Disorder, Conduct Disorder and ASPD (based on the idea of a moody and volatile sea)

Neptune: SZPD and ASPD (based on the idea of an emotionless and uncaring sea)

Hades/Pluto and Thanatos/Mors: infertility, and, in rare cases, sterility (self-explanatory)

Ares: IED, ODD, Conduct Disorder, and ASPD (self-explanatory)

Hypnos/Somnus, Morpheus, and the Oneiroi/Somnia: Excessive daytime sleepiness/Hypersomnia, Maladaptive Daydreaming, Narcolepsy, and Parasomnias (self explanatory)

Pasithea: STPD (based on her being the goddess of rest, relaxation, delusions and hallucinations. While STPD does not involve hallucinations, it does involve distorted cognition and perceptions, as well as magical thinking, which I think fits within the delusion part)

Hermes/Mercury: Kleptomania, Restless Leg Syndrome, and Elopement (self-explanatory)

Aphrodite/Venus and the Erotes: Hypersexuality, Paraphilic disorders, Cacophobia, and HPD (self-explanatory)

Apollo: HPD (I mean... it's self-explanatory, right? We know who he is, lol), and Nyctophobia (self-explanatory)

Nyx/Nox and Erebus: Photosensitivity/sun allergy (self-explanatory)

Athena/Minerva: Arachnophobia (canon)

Akhyls: Major depressive disorder and Cherophobia (self-explanatory)

Lethe: Dementia and Alzheimer's (self-explanatory)

Hephaestus/Vulcan: Pyromania (self-explanatory)

Demeter/Ceres: Seasonal affective disorder (based on the fact that winter is representative of Demeter's sadness that her daughter is gone for the whole)

Phobia and mania descriptions:

Cacophobia: fear of ugliness

Nyctophobia: fear of the dark

Arachnophobia: fear of spiders

Cherophobia: fear of happiness

Kleptomania: inability to resist urges to steal items that are not needed (impulse control disorder)

Pyromania: inability to resist urges to start fires (impulse control disorder)

Considering Body Dysmorphia Disorder for Aphrodite's children for obvious reasons, but I'm not sure that's likely? Like fear of being ugly, I can see, but the concept that they themselves are ugly or parts of their body doesn't fit is a little flippy-floppy, so idk.

Also thinking about DPDR for Hypnos and the dream babes, or his wife Pasithea since I think it could work with her delusion/hallucination aspect. However, as someone who frequently experiences DP, idk if I would characterize it as a delusion or hallucination 🤔🤔

Similarly - alcoholism/substance abuse for Dionysus's children? It seems obvious but as the god of wine, surely they would have a higher tolerance for the stuff. Possibly that still relates to being capable of developing a dependence on it? But idk.

As always, feel free to hop into my asks to chat about your thoughts or ideas - whether you disagree or agree with the above. Always curious to know what other people think 😊

[ericstoltz]

life update!!!!

hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.

first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!

another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)

ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(

and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^

SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !

have a nice day :)

[gachastranjr]

SPOILERS Genshin 4.0 Fontaine and Archon Quest

Warning: Spoilers, just in case you didn't see the first word. Also, bad bad words. Long loong rant

First of all, pretty region. Like really beautiful. Visually pleasing and a good time out from the desert which is not yet complete at all. Blue looks good with traveler ngl. I like it a lot. Although the aquabus is really slow, it's nice to be able to sightsee the area without monsters wanting a fight. Its a good way to introduce the region ngl.

Lyney and Lynette are lovely characters. Their designs have definitely upgraded from the first peek at them and I would be attempting to pull for Lyney. Also Freminet would be nice to have too. And same goes for the rest of other characters I don't have yet. I love the backstory. Dark and good set up ngl. Also I kinda want to see subtle parallels between the traveler twins and the Fontaine twins. Like talking about a "what if my twin sister got taken from me" moment on the aquabus. I see you.

Mr. Childe Ed Sheeran Tartaglia. Is it just me or is he talking just a bit faster? It's been a while since I last encountered this man so I don't even remember lol. This guy tho. Trouble. Thats all. Also yay, character lore but in dialogue. I lowkey missed him.

As someone who can't with awkward scenes despite being sort of awkward irl, that entire scene with meeting Neuvillette killed me. I thought the silence was just it but the following scenes is staight up stabbing me more than is necessary. Wth was that Paimon lol. Not Traveler asking Paimon to chat for him. Also I feel like Traveler's journey is mainly him becoming more expressive with his face. Forget abt the overarching story and the new things, I check out updates to see what new emotion Traveler has now.

I love Navia! She caught my eye the first time with her design and her personality+story is everything to me. I can't see me using her much gameplay wise. I'm not that fond playing with geo characters and I've already got a good enough Itto but I would still love to have her.

The archon is killing me like I'm not gonna lie she gets in my nerves although she is entertaining. She's funny and I like that she actually appears to her citizens and have a sort of connection with them unlike the other archons so far lol. Like fr, hiding from citizens for the first two, Ei was a tyrant at one point and Nahida was kept away because of her own ppl.

Furina I feel is like acting like a teen in highschool sort of which kind of matches if I'm correct that she is second youngest among the Archons. Like Nahida is curious like the youngest, Zhongli giving old man vibes fr, Venti is the always drunk adult, and Ei being like almost middle child energy or the one that enjoys holing up in their room. Well that is with what we have among the archons. Dont know much with Tsaritsa tbh and I don't even remember Natlan's yet.

I kind of enjoy how Neuvillette gets to call the shots and is sort of babysitting the archon then again Diluc has to deal with Venti and we have Yae pushing Ei to socialize. Nahida is fine, in fact, she's the one babysitting Wanderer. Anyway, Neuvillette, he is great. He reels in his archon instead of blindly following and actually is sane. Like I like him a lot.

I love Fontaine so far. I can switch between that and Sumeru desert. They're opposites and I can deal with desert much better like this lol.

[starjxsung]

Hi Star!! Please don't apologize for being away! We all have life and I know you've been going through some health challenges and work has been hectic - I just hope you're doing well and taking care 💕 sounds like life is putting you through it a bit and I just wanna let you know we're here to listen (or at least I know I am 💗) and that we care so so so much about you!!! School is going well!! I'm actually so hyped for the term. Overall I enjoy my courses. Plant Biology and Forest Ecology my beloved - I LOVE plant ID. All the labs for Forest Ecology are outside in the forest at my uni and for our final lab exam we have to memorize how to ID 70 indicator plants and their latin names and soil moisture and soil nutrients just from their branches - it'll be a fun challenge! One of my profs is WORLD FAMOUS for her research and I freaked out when I found out she was my prof. I also have been keeping in touch with a couple of profs from last year and it's been so great chatting with them - they said I could maybe TA their courses next year 👀 I've also been making an effort to make more friends and introduce myself - I've found a lot of people I met last year we kinda were just class friends and not really friends friends which is fine because that happens - I just wanna get to know more people and make more friends and find those I really click with. So far a few from last year I've still found to have stuck around which is nice :) I've also met some really nice new friends and it makes me so happy (some not so nice but that's okay I just won't try talking to them anymore haha). TW: S3xual assault???

urgh south africa guy. guess what! hasn't messaged me since my last update abt him. so like. welp. I'm actually happy that he hasnt now. like at the time i was like :((( . but now im like good fcking riddance bro. blocked! basically i went back and analysed things and realized yeah he was taking advantage of me and emotionally manipulating me. literally conditioned me to have sex with him??? like in conversations we had literally before we were anything. literally wanna throw up everytime i think about any ounce of time i spent with him even if it was just standing there. like. idk i finally talked it all out with a friend who was on the south africa trip too (she had her own situation with another dude on the trip - he fucking followed her to prague??? whole other messed up story.......) anyways, i realizsed that the whole situation was fcked up and he didn't care abt me at all and was prolly also just keeping me around cause he fetishizes asian women!! yay!!! idk i feel very physically used. which feels gross. tryna decide if I feel like this is borederline SA idk processing it all cause guess who has trauma and repressed it the whole time and was thinking everything was fine!! I could bring up a lot more sht that happened but im not really feeling like typing it out or thinking about it. I just. i cant help but feel its my fault for being stupid and naive :( even tho many people have told me its not. its just hard not to :( anyways, on a brighter note i forgot if i mentioned this in my europe update but so like i made friends with another kid on the norway tour thing. he was a fun kid to hang out with and mess around with. hes like 5 years younger than me tho. tbh was very mature tho. anyways, thought we wouldnt talk each other ever again after. but we had exchanged discords so we could message during the trip abt like when to go to the pool n sht. anyways, we ended up messaging little by little. and then like having convos. and turns out we are like almost identical people. just . living thousands of km apart and in different countries and like 5 year age difference. like i have two youngers brothers. and hes the same age as my youngest brother. and he feels like another younger brother to me now its so adorable. he'll share stuff with me and like its so easy to converse and hes so sweet??? anyways, literally makes my days better. adorable kid. i could tell you all the ways hes become my third brother but it's a lot lol. Love you lots Star 💕 make sure you're taking breaks! I don't want your eyes to die trying to work on fics and things!! xoxo 🌱

HI MY LOVE…… I missed you so much and I missed getting your little updates !! When I tell you I got SO EXCITED getting this one fkfickjdkdkfkfkdkd there’s so much to unpack I’m so stoked !! I’m doing okay (just hating everything related to my job) but I’m pulling thru and I think in a few weeks I’ll feel a little more like myself again :’)

Okay your classes sound SO COOL???? I can’t tell you that be able to memorize the Latin names of any plants bc that sounds hard as hell but THAT’S SO COOL….. also your professor being world famous is literally the coolest thing ever???? Isn’t it SO exciting when you have a well known professor 😭 I had a professor who was the man behind the “little baby ice cream” commercials (that rly weird one of the guy eating ice cream off his head…. It’s kinda scary??) and when I tell you I FLIPPEDDDDD WHEN HE TOLD ME….. like I had so much to ask him and pick his brain about kjsjckdkdjdkfjfj also I’m so glad you’re making so many friends! It’s somehow so much harder to make friends in college than you’d think bc people are so focused on their studies & just keeping to themselves. But when you find people you really click with it’s truly the best feeling :’) side note if we met in a class I just know we’d be besties like in another universe I just know we’re in a plant class together and we get in trouble for talking too much LMFAOOO

anyways I’m really sorry to hear about South Africa guy :( I was truly rooting for you guys and I’m so disappointed to hear he just seems like another loser who used you for sex. Honestly I was in a super similar situation with the first guy I ever “dated” and had a serious relationship with. We agreed to be a fwb arrangement but to still stay exclusive to each other bc otherwise it’d just feel icky. Which I knew deep down I didn’t want because I just wanted to be with him, but I feel like we’re really susceptible to just settling for any version of a man we can get, just so that we don’t lose them. Of course this turned into a full year of me being at his beck and call whenever he wanted a sexual favor, and sending like thousands of pics whenever he wanted them. He’d literally ask me to leave family functions and send pics/vids of myself no matter where I was. In hindsight it was fucking disgusting and I think it really fucked me up sexually & emotionally and I just wish I could go back and grab myself by the shoulders and YELLLL at fact that I ever agreed to be that with him 😭 you can’t blame yourself for this unfolding though, you did the best you could with what you were emotionally able to handle at the time, and unfortunately you both had different wants out of this relationship. He didn’t deserve you in the slightest and he’ll just do this to the next girl who shows him a modicum of attention. You are truly such a fantastic, beautiful, SMART, wonderful girl and you deserve so much better than the lousy cards these guys deal you. Take time to heal and make sure you’re ready to be in another relationship when you’re ready, but know what this isn’t the defining point of what you’re worth or meant for. There are only better things and experiences and people still waiting for you, and dumping that loser guy is just another step forward for you. I’m proud of you for understanding your worth and acknowledging this might just be a trauma response. You’re not a loser, you’re not naive, and you do NOTTTT deserve someone who’s just around to fetishize your existence. You only deserve the best, most unconditional love and attention 💓

I’m so glad you did get a friend out of the trip though !! That sounds like the plot of some coming of age film LOL I hope you guys continue to stay friends for a long time! Sometimes you find friendship where you least expect it 🫶

I love you so so so much my angel, please take it easy and be kind to yourself. What you’ve been through hasn’t been easy, but remember you’re also crushing it in college, you traveled the world and you’re an amazing artist. And no shitty man will ever take that away from you !!!! You deserve someone who matches your energy !!!!! Your aura is like +100000 at any given moment don’t ever forget it 🌱💓🫶 I LOVE U.

[spookyserenades]

Can I just say that it makes me really happy whenever I realize the date is nearing 7th I hv a feeling you'd go all out for the spooky season I'm kinda curious abt something hope u don't mind my qs I'm like weirdly obsessed with this piece of art so yeah my mind is filled with qs hehehe the thing is I realized like u r very on par with the real timelines like Jk's birthday party was literally on September and stuff like that I'm aware that much time hasn't passed in this universe since the first chapter but it was really cool how the timeline here and the timeline irl kind of overlap... may be I'm jst reading too much into it cuz my love for Trouvaille doesn't know any limits :) anyways luv ya 🖤 cheers for a lovely chapter 🖤 and can I request we kick the ass of that audacious old hag? tc :D

AHHH hi love!! 💜🥺 I too get super excited for the 7th, its the day we all get to chat and go nuts together! I've been working really hard on this chapter (still am!!!) and I hope I can deliver some of the spookiness that goes with October. This next update will feature a few time jumps to include several events, so I hope it isn't too cluttered, but mostly exciting!

I don't mind questions at all, in fact, I love them!! And thank you for being so so sweet. So for the timelines, it happened completely by accident (which is cool and kind of witchy!!) I started writing Trouvaille in June of 2022. It just so happens that now, as I've caught up and have been posting each new chapter as I write it, the timing is lining up with the seasons! Which has of course, been a blast-- I mean some Halloween/Samhain themes in the next update will go perfectly with October. I will say, Trouvaille does take place starting in August 2022, if anyone is curious about the exact timeline.

Love you love you so much! 🥰 Thank you for sending in some kindness and your thoughts, I'm really happy you loved the previous chapter. I think that between Y/N, Jeongguk, and Namjoon, they'll be able to kick that old hag ghost's ass out and into Fenway Park LMAO!!

[dojae-huh]

https://youtu.be/qvd6Qbnd41s?si=YbMhy0U98nRcT550

21:53

Doyoung: I have seen jungwoo passing out in the middle of watching film exhuma!!

He was saying it like he have seen it through his eyes, not from some group chat......

First of I don't want to fight....but I couldn't ignore it huh nim.... Like that anon said it like so adamant, like no matter what I refuse to believe they 3 we're tgthr... That kind of mindset... Like dy must have get it from group chat? Omg.... Really.... If am not a jaedo shipper, but there is a possibility of them being tgthr for some place, I don't think there is any chance to deny it.... Like if one ship is really shipping, that 2 pll can't go with any other?? What's logic is that? Nd am not saying doyoung imalways says the truth.... But he is good at hiding info especially about jaedo.... But look here.... Jaewoo went to see the movie, it's the fact, then y would he say it like he have seen it??? Nd given his character, even if he sees it , he would say it like he got the info from somewhere else.... Isn't it right huh nim?? Nd that doyoung announcing it openely he have seen it woo passing out, for the movie where actually jaewoo went tgthr...??? BULLSHIT...... IT'S WHAT WE CALL IT AS THE SLIPPERY OF THE TOUNGUE...... nd it's the truth.... Nd the staff didn't cut it, coz it was funny nd entertaining for the woo fans..... Nd there is nothing to get afraid to be... So they just keep it.... If they knw we are fighting over a single dialogue, even after the 2 days of it's broadcast, they would be like calling a meeting..... Haha.....

I can just ignore this,....nd am not here to proove anything abt the movie night....but what I don't get is, doesn't matter if u r a shipper or not, why can't they accept the things as it is....its a straight confession, why u need to make alot of definition over this?? I don't get by proving this what do they get actually....

All I want to say is, if u see everything through the shippers eyes, you will lose a lot of precious moments..... Shopping is there, but also frndship, brotherhood, colleagues etc....evrything can make moments nd memories.... Don't miss it......coz that's also beautiful tooo.....

Link

I suppose it comes from different look on things and different feelings.

You, anon, thought you caught Doyoung on a slip up and added a new detail to an old information. You were happy because it meant JaeDo watched a movie and wrote to a JaeDo shipper blog to spread the news and tell about a shippery moment.

(first version) Jaehyun and Jungwoo watched Exhuma -> (updated) Jaehyun and Jungwoo and Doyoung watched Exhuma -> (a possible even fuller picture of the event) Jaehyun and Jungwoo and Doyoung and Jungwoo's sister/17's member watched Exhuma

As we can see, other fans interpret same news differently. For example, "those delulu JaeDo shippers need to make everything about their ship discounting wholesome JaeWoo time, stealing from JaeWoo shippers" or "those shippers are ready to call pure Jungwoo a lier just to turn everything into JaeDo conspiracy". There could be a feeling of jealousy (from a JaeWoo shipper), a feeling of irritation/hurt (from a Jungwoo stan), or a feeling of "I know better, don't try to change my belief in how events unfolded" (from a "I saw on the internet and you are wrong"). I'll stop, but there can be other possible reactions. It's not like DJJ watching a movie is unbelievable on it's own, it's that there is resistance to accept it happening (the way I have doubts about JaeWoo as movie buddies, doesn't mean I'm right, I'm in the middle of collecting more info, it's pending for me).

Now, to answer your question about the moment. Thanks for the timestamp, I've analysed it.

Doyoung didn't say he "saw", in Korean he said "it happened" (or, rather, "Woo did it"). Therefore, it is possible Jaehyun told him about it as a funny story, or Jungwoo told himself.

Doyoung looked at Jaehyun to laugh together after the words. And normally people bring up moments like that when they themselves were witnesses, when it left an impression. Other members didn't react (so it wasn't in a group chat like that anon suggested), Mark even asked Doyoung for a clarification (21:55).

In conclusion. Heh, it's still 50/50. Do's smile directed at Jae was huge, which can mean he was present (and thus his excitement was bigger, he was affected more by the scene seeing it in person). However, he didn't say "I saw". Other members didn't know about Woo passing (look at Mark questioning, Tae and Yuta not reacting, Johnny showing a surprised look), which means that if Doyoung didn't go to the cinema, then Jaehyun told the funny detail only to him.

[thefreckledgymrat]

some lore and an update abt the girl in IT...

she has this rubber duck that she keeps at her service desk (it's a CS thing). the service desk is freely accessible, so at one point I decided it would be fun to make miniature hats for this duck and just sneak them onto its head. I made several hats and gradually placed them on the little guy whenever I got the chance to do so without her seeing.

a few times now, I've heard her telling other people abt them: how cute they are and how she much appreciates them. I've also heard her ask others if they know who makes the hats, so I swore I would be honest if she ever asked me.

time passed, I ran out of hats and was too busy to make more, and the ones I did make started to disappear. I assumed that one of her coworkers had either tossed them or that she took them home for safe keeping or something.

well today, while we were chatting, I mentioned the duck's hat (that it's currently wearing) and she asked if I had seen the Hat Collection. I didn't have much time to reply before she was setting every hat in front of me, one after the other, in a row. not knowing what to do, I just pretended to be impressed by all of the hats that I made, while she told me how she loves when they just show up and her theory on who might be making them (which was obviously not correct).

now I feel bad that I didn't just tell her that I make them bc that felt dishonest, but also I like how excited she was by the mystery of it. idk what I'm going to do next, but I guess I might make another hat?

[the whole mini hats thing is very silly, kind of irrelevant, and VERY specific, so that's why I haven't mentioned this before]

THIS IS THE CUTEST FUCKING SHIT EVER HOLY FUCK OMG😭😭😭😭

HEAR ME OUT

what if you just present her with a new little hat, like in person?👀

[respitelocklyre]

I made the cheer squad!!! I have a lil more to say but that's the important bit- updates under the cut like always ✨

Cheer tryouts were waaay different than i expected!! I kind of thought it'd be a big ordeal but it was just me and one other freshman who tried out, so we were obvs accepted lol Not that we wouldn't have made it in anyways since we both looked fucking great!! Especially considering I haven't even done any of those moves since last fall. The squad is pretty small and i don't think they do competitive stuff but that's fine, we never did in high school either. I'm more interested in getting to know the rest of the silkball team we'll be cheering on, if the try-outs were any indication of what's to come 🤭 There's this cute owl-guy I might have my eye on- i think he works at the tavern too!!

Oh yeah, i also got the work-study at the tavern! I figure i'll just quit if i don't like it lol but anyways come say hi if ur on campus- i promise you'll recognize me on sight. I'm pretty easy to spot hehe

Oh oh oh and congrats to Mire for getting on the team too!! and for scoring some points with their crush (they can thank me later~). I wonder if they're gonna be able to play well while being cheered on lmaaooo

Classes have been fine, but tbh i haven't rlly been able to pay attention to them since i've been busy partying, meeting new people, and adjusting to life on campus! It's kinda overwhelming, my contacts have like doubled since i got here. And everything is like...way different, yknow? Obvs I didn't think it'd be the SAME as high school, but the vibes are soooo different is all. idk what to make of it all yet but i know that im LOVING being away from home and enjoying my freedom so far <3 Cathy told me the first month or so would probably be rlly hard but idk what she was talking abt bc no one grounds me for waking them up when i get home at 2 am and not even the raven queen can stop me from eating icecream for dinner now.

+++++

In reality, this party was kind of lame, even as Respite typed otherwise to his friends— they'd opted to ditch him for a studying session, so he sure as hell wasn't going to let on that the party was anything but lit. They had a feeling most of them probably wouldn't care, but Willow might feel a touch regretful, so the lie was worth it.

After sending the message to the group chat and briefly checking tinder for any new DMs or matches— maybe he could escape this place and turn the night around— to no avail, they pocketed their phone. How annoying. They rolled their eyes and leaned against the wall, taking a slow sip at the drink they’d been nursing for the past hour. Respite wasn’t really a fan of drinking on the best of nights and all they had to offer here was shitty beer. After a moment of pouting and observing the dimly lit room, they turned and parted the dusty, moth-eaten curtain to look out the window again.

If anyone had noticed the way Respite kept flitting out to the porch or the front window, no one said anything. They did try to keep it discreet, at least, and simply worked it into the way they naturally made the rounds every now and then to talk to different people or get another drink. He liked to move around a lot at parties anyways to make sure that he saw everyone's faces and said hi to them all.

On the opposite side of the spectrum was Mettie, who, shortly after arriving and greeting a few people, had taken an edible or something and parked himself outside on the porch. From there, he seemed to be spending most of his time at the party smoking with other people who needed some fresh air and enrapturing (ensnaring?) them with his long-winded conversation. Respite wasn't sure if this had been his goal when agreeing to come to the party, but it had been the result.

It dawned on Respite slowly that they hadn't really seen Mettie at a party like this before. Well, okay— they'd seen Mettie at one or two big house parties in passing, but they'd never actually spent much time watching him. He’d been the dealer for about 75% of their high school (it was a devastating loss to the community when he’d done his year abroad), so it was hard not to run into him from time to time at parties. But in high school, he was mostly regarded as weird and off-putting. People got what they wanted from him and were generally polite, but it wasn't like he was always invited to stick around. And when he was, it did usually end up like this— he'd put himself in a less populated corner somewhere and make puzzling conversation with those willing to listen.

In their hometown, it had felt like everyone else tolerated it because Mettie was a valuable resource. They knew his penchant for rambling, though, and tried not to engage— Respite himself included.

They couldn't place the feeling as they watched Mettie from the window now, with a handful of people gathered around him, held captive by the way he spoke. These people weren't just being polite, either. They were listening— sometimes even smiling and laughing with him. Sure, they were probably stoned too, but that hardly mattered. It's not like this was the first time it had happened since he’d learned Mettie was also attending Strixhaven. At their cafe shift, during orientation, and at the career fair...things were clearly different here.

A couple of years ago, Respite never would've invited Mettie to a house party with him. It would've been social suicide— he knows; he'd thought about it once early on and didn't even get far enough to invite Mettie before the ridicule started up— and though it had taken a lot to fight against their instinct, they needed to test their theory: Did people here actually like Mettie's company? This party seemed to confirm it for the positive.

In Respite's mind, the jury was still out on whether or not Mettie was cool, but at the very least it seemed like no one was going to corner him in the bathroom and interrogate him about why they saw him talking to the freak who looked like he was one bad day away from shooting up the school (untrue, of course, and tasteless in a way only teenagers could be, but Respite had forced out a laugh at the time).

There was a feeling of relief in that. In knowing that neither of them would be under constant scrutiny from peers and adults alike. Being unknown was freeing in some ways.

But there was a dread in it, too. In losing the structure Respite had spent years delicately building the pieces of their identity around.

A memory from when they were kids came to mind unbidden, of the time Respite had accidentally knocked over one of Mettie's earliest sculptures. It had been unsteady and the base made of air-dry clay toppled easily when Respite bumped the dresser in a fit of energetic excitement, sending it crashing to the ground. The roughly attached bits and bobs came loose and scattered across Mettie's bedroom floor, transitioning from art to disjointed pieces without purpose or clarity in an instant.

For what it was worth, Mettie had taken it in stride even as Respite desperately crawled under his bed with a flashlight to gather everything, apologizing and promising to help him glue it back together. After staying quiet for some time, he'd declared it an act of fate that only added to the piece and gave it new meaning. Respite didn't understand, but they'd been so terrified of being yelled at that they nodded in agreement even as their cheeks were pink from crying. They still attempted to fit some of the pieces back together until Mettie insisted they just put it in an empty shoe box so that he could make something new of it. To this day, Respite had no idea if Mettie had ever fixed it, restructured it, or simply left it as a memorial in his closet.

They wrinkled their nose up at the unwarranted assault of a flashback. Clearly they'd been hanging around Mettie too much already if their thoughts were starting to get this metaphorical. He downed the last of his warm beer, hoping the bile on his tongue would force him to refocus on the party.

[vin-at-thehub]

*Waves*

Hello! I'm usually more comfy doing anonymous asks but.. I'm trying to make friends :3 Can't really do that if the few people I reach out to don't know who I am ><

Anywho.. I'm not very familiar with systems (so please please tell me if smthin I say is upsetting or makes u uncomfortable!) but I'd love to get to know you a little bit!

What's it like having a system? Do you interact directly with everyone or is it more of a.. disconnected thing?

(Ofc if you don't wanna answer, you won't hurt my feelings at all ^^ just lmk and we can talk abt Undertale or smthin x3)

hihihi-!! Sorry it took me so long to answer this, I haven’t had energy for a while (sobs in chronic fatigue)

It’s really cool that you want to make friends bro-!! I’d love to be one of them-!! Or uh..we’d love to be 13 (fuck I need to update our tags) of them..—unsure how likely you are to meet all the others..

And don’t worry, always feel free to ask us questions-!! No question is rude unless there is malicious intent behind it (:

It’s interesting being a system. I’m the host and a gatekeeper (system terms) so i want to say in more aware of the others and switches as they go down. In addition the others copy my behavior the most to mask as me, and it’s kinda interesting to see that go down. I can mostly interact directly—we have a mindspace—and I tend to chat with the others there or I work on integrating new alters, but for some of the others it’s a bit harder to interact—normally if they’re newer to the hub. After a while (for us at least) things become clearer and it’s easier to reach out to one another. I like to say it’s like a rainy day—eventually the rain lessens and all that’s left is fog separating us.

[troglobite]

sdlafjsdkj

every time lol

she missed my birthday & christmas and so msgs me like "omg i'm so sorry i missed it, it's even a repeating even tin my calendar!"

meanwhile i know that she's been cavorting around w her god awful wife/fiancee (cannot recall if they're married or engaged)

anyway, she asks me how i'm doing. "safe? healthy?"

and i'm like UHHHH LOL

so i say "idk man you wanna avoid politics bc of that anxiety, but my life updates are gonna be the same kinda tone"

she goes oh no! we don't have to talk abt it if you don't want to, but of course feel free. she also offers to set up a time to video chat.

she asks abt dnd and my IG situation (i've had to be on desktop for like a year now bc it stopped working on my phone)

and i just type up a response:

short version--health stuff, family stuff, dnd being on hold since june.

i say sure, let's set up a time to chat, lemme know when you're available, i wfh and have a more flexible schedule.

then she disappears.

it happens Every Time. if i don't have a positive update is like 1 response then she disappears and takes AGES to reply again and tries to make it happy.

like bro you could just Be With Me through how much everything sucks.

yes i'm terrified abt losing medicaid during the next administration when i have SO MANY MEDS AND DOCTORS that i need.

yes i'm currently Suffering and can't even get my fucking steroid cream for my persistent hives.

yes everything is bad and covid is a nightmare.

but like. y'know. we haven't talked in months. you missed my bday. you could pay me back by actually listening to me w care.

i even gave her the short, non-traumatic version. i didn't just dump on her.

barely 5 sentences. and then an agreement that we should set up a time to catch up and talk.

and Nothing.

and i hate to say it but it's always like this.

and then like a year or two ago when she was trying to leave this horrible gf/wife/fiancee, whom i fucking HATE, i was there for her FOR WEEKS, trying to encourage her to find balance and peace on her own, or in a new, safer relationship.

she ended up going back. and while life/abuse situations are just like that, it's also like.

idk man you forgot my birthday. my 30th birthday.

so did plenty of other people, but we don't keep up the pretense of being more than acquaintances anymore, even though i do still care for them all deeply. i'm just not involved in their lives as much.

but we're supposed to be "pick up where we left off" every time. so it sucks. i really, genuinely thought she was mad at me bc she could tell i hate the woman she's with.

but no, she just forgot. somehow worse? idk.

she's asked me before, a few times, to be more open and honest w her and trust her w the hard stuff in life.

but every time i've tried since then..... : /

like. it's just this. idk. i'm not like. in shambles over it. it is just sort of frustrating and why i haven't committed any of my EXTREMELY fucking limited brainspace and energy to her and this relationship. : /