#mine are all private posts which is a great option to have

[witch--tips]

📌 WITCH TIP 📌

For altars or offerings, you can make boards on pinterest, OR what I enjoy more: a post on pinterest’s Shuffles app. you can make collages that way as a devotional act and the result is their offering.

[goatcheesecak3]

Adam x reader dating headcanons

I know no one is requesting this but I heart Adam so it's happening

1) he doesn't ever hold your hand, that's too cutesy for him. Instead he likes to lean his arm around your shoulders.

2) he's protective, but not possessive. He loves when the two of you go out and you get all dolled up, he takes real pride in slinging his arm round you and giving evils to any guy that looks at you. He's been known to brag "you're the hottest person in this bar and you're all mine"

3) romantic dates aren't really his thing. He's not the type of guy to take you to dinner, but you don't really mind. Instead, he loves just staying in with some beers, ordering wings and watching a film together.

4) he takes you to a lot of parties, mainly just to show you off (like I said before, he REALLY loves knowing that everyone wants you, but only he can have you). On the walk home he always finds a way to keep the pair of you entertained. There's nothing better than drunkenly walking home at 2am with Adam and taking a slight detour to mess about in a playground, Adam always wants to push you on a swing to see how high he can get you.

5) for special occasions where gifts are part of the protocol, his usual option is jewellery. He splashes out on a nice necklace or a pair of fancy earrings, every time telling you "just don't ask how I paid for them".

6) he loves, and I mean LOVES playing with your hair. He's a very fidgety guy, so he's always twirling your hair around his fingers, or stroking it while you're cuddling.

7) you help him look after Charlie, which he's really grateful for, since it takes some of the pressure off him. In private he gets quite sentimental about how you dress Charlie's wounds and fix him up something to eat whenever he shows up on the doorstep. He thinks you'd make a great mother, but he never says anything because he doesn't want to scare you off by letting you know he's already thinking that far ahead.

8) he LOVES choosing your outfits. If you ask him "this dress or that one?" It really excites him. Just knowing that you're going out wearing something specifically because he said so just DOES SOMETHING to him.

9) when he's out with the guys he can't help but brag about you. Always pulling up pictures of you and saying "smokin right?". He tries to play it off like laddish locker room talk, but everyone can tell he's absolutely smitten and just wants any excuse to talk about you.

10) the first time he ever said "I love you" was when he was violently hungover and you'd gone out of your way to come round and nurse him back to health (something which he usually had to do himself). You'd been hand feeding him soup and telling him "everything's okay, we'll get you all fixed up", and he just couldn't contain it anymore. He smiled at you weakly and "I love you" just slipped out.

A/n ADAM SUPREMACY RAAAAAHHHH 🦅🦅🦅🦅

Reblogs & comments are very much appreciated so I can locate more Adam stans hehe

Also! Requests are indeed open, check my pinned post for details! :^)

[cherrycokedup]

i need liked posts to be turned off on tumblr guys i dont need to see that my mutal liked the post "getting FREAKAY in the freak room part five million" like im happy you have hobbies. hobbies are great actually! just. i dont wanna see it, its like getting a cruel vision from the lord above of what your friend is doing at any given moment and it's like the deepest privaacy violation ever. it's like if i was walking down the halls of school and a random person walked up to me and shoved a photo in my face of someone having a moment. like good for them, really, but also i dont think i was authorized to see this information and i dont really thing i wanted to see this information. i feel like some type of wild ass archive of all the sins of my mutals because obviously im not gonna walk up to their dms and be like "hello kind and beloved friend, how was your binge on lego ninjago dick sucking?" because that is insane. how am i supposed to kindly tell me friends that their tumblr is backstabbing them and showing all their muatals their liked posts unprovoked on my dashboard. yknow what is my worst nightmare to see? " liked by --" sometimes it is good and a fine post, and i can like it too. i like it when you can share in our liking and not reblogging! but too many times it has me learning something i dont think i really needed to know. and who knows. maybe i did need to know. maybe the reason tumblr is showing me that my friends are liking "𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖓𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖘 𝖋𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊?" is because it is trying to broaden my horizens, it is trying to show me a whole new world of debachery. which sure, introduce me away but i am like not very open to this because you opened the introducion with "you know what your friend of three years that you just helped write a college submission essay has been really into lately?" like i know they have been into spreading love and joy and kindness. i know they have been into their stardew farm. i know they have been into getting a job. and yet there is more horror to come. you know what REALLY horrifes me about this tumblr feature? it's the idea that tumblr might be snitching on ME. it fills me with all the fear of someone who did not pack a bomb going through airport security. because what if once in 2018 i did pack a bomb and now tumblr is coming onto my friend's dashes with a creepy grin, waving around a screenshot of me packing a bomb and going "LOOKY, LOOKY HERE. LITTLE FUCKING SLUTTY BITCH WHORE OF THE CENTURY LIKED AN EMBARSSING FANDOM SEX POST FOURTEEN YEARS AGO." except it would not give them the timestamp. for all my friends would know, i liked that post today. everyday i check that my liked posts are still private. everyday i go into my tumblr settings and make sure that the "share your liked posts!" switch is off, like im the guy who has the watch the nucular reactor radar but on a far more worst and catastrophic level. i feel like the last one of my seer kind, unable to forget or turn off my wretched visions, and I cannot tell any of them for they would not understand so it is my curse to bare alone, until I die out. It is my curse to know that some people in the world, some people who i look upon with all the fondness in the world, people I would save over myself in a heartbeat if it came down to us standing at the end of the world and there is only enough room in the saftey shuttle for one more person, it is my curse, and mine along to bare knowing that that person liked a post of Jack in the Box mascot having his bare ass cheeks on display for the rest of the world. If there is a way to be done with this torment, I do not know. I have scoured the settings and the only option i can find is to hide my own likes, and hope any sins of my long forgotten past will stay locked in a vault so deep even I can't dig them out, even I can't remember what they once were.

[happyrecoveringslime]

hi! curious where you got your top surgery

if not comfortable sharing np jus delete :)

Hi! No problem, i got mine with Mr. Miles Berry in the cosmetic surgery partners clinic in London.

I've heard a lot of things about Mr. Berry so I'll take this as an opportunity to discuss some of that as well as my experience. Ofc you don't have to read this if it's not relevant, I just wanted to share for anyone who'd like to know!

I feel like Mr. Berry has a bit of a reputation and it's mostly for two reasons.

One is that his results for larger patients are not always consistent and can leave large dog-ears or left over tissue which he then dismisses. This is something I cannot speak about with personal experience, but people have documented their own experiences with his fatphobia, including dismissiveness at people requesting revisions. I think this is definitely a big flaw of his and something that should be researched in depth if someone wants to get top surgery with him at a bigger size.

The other warning I've heard about him is that he can be rude or unprofessional. This is something I would have to disagree with, but I understand why people say that. He is very blunt and he will say things as they are, and he can be a bit awkward. It seemed like he was approaching the surgery through a professional outlook to me, as if the breasts were not a part of me that I could be sensitive about but rather a job he has to get done and I'm just there along for the ride.

My breasts were already pretty weird (like the "before" pics in before-and-afters of many "corrective" breast surgeries) and he wasn't shy from describing them as they were - stuff like tuberous, under-developed upper hemispheres, etc. I'm pre-T and I do not pass and we discussed this; he wanted to assess how this could affect me in the future. I also have plenty of scars on my arms including ones that look like they could be keloids. When inspecting my chest, he noticed them, touched them and asked about them. He made clear he was assessing how my body responds to scars, the likelihood of my top surgery scars developing into keloids, etc. I understand how this can be uncomfortable to many people. He will just say things outright without considering that they could be potentially sensitive topics. He's blunt, but he doesn't go out of his way to insult you or anything. Its just a straight up scientific/professional outlook of the body. Personally it made me feel very secure, but this can vary for different people.

I chose to go with him for multiple reasons. Waiting lists in my country are years long, and I straight up do not have a GP and can't get one because of no availability (so I can't even get on the years long waiting lists in the first place). That left me with going the private informed consent route, which lowered my potential surgeons greatly. I have family in England that I could stay with, so all of these factors cumulatively narrowed my options down to like two or three surgeons, and I gotta say his results were my favourite. With such a big life change, I really didn't wanna settle for something I wasn't super happy with, and I really really liked his results.

Now that I'm almost 4 months post op, I gotta say I love this chest on me. I like how he placed everything, I think the scars look really good, I love the nip placement, in general the countour is great. While I don't think he would be the perfect surgeon for everyone, I'm really happy with his work on me.

[autumntouched]

Tumblr Crash Course/Welcome

I'm still not over learning some of you joined tumblr because of Talk to Me 😭😍🥹

**Please excuse any terms I use incorrectly and feel free to correct me 🫠 I’m becoming my mom with my slipping grasp of technology 😭 **

Sorry, this site isn't the most intuitive, but I find it much easier as a writer to interact with readers here. I love that people can send me private messages/chats with their thoughts 💗 If you’re new, here's a little TGM fandom tumblr crash course:

First, I love this fandom. The writers are so talented but also incredibly kind. You may see us occasionally have meltdowns around "likes" and interactions, so I'll start there…

There are a lot of things about tumblr that don't make it entirely user friendly, including not having a "save" option for posts that you want to come back to. Enter the "like." On most other social media platforms, a like carries weight. On tumblr, a like can feel ambiguous to a writer because of its dual function as a bookmark

Therefore, generally, the best way to communicate your appreciation for a fic is to reblog it (to raise its visibility) or comment (to let the writer know you read and appreciate their work). If you’re looking at a post, the “reblog” option is the square of arrows. A window will open for you to add a comment and/or gif and/or image and/or Tags. Tags can serve as comments and/or a way for you to organize the the content you’re interacting with (helpful if you want to find it later). Once you post, the reblog appears on your blog for your followers to see

A “comment” can be left with a little speech bubble. Note that a comment goes on the original post, so if the writer is adding to a post that they’re reblogging, you have to tag their blog for them to see it. Apologies, not the clearest explanation, but you’ll get the hang of it!

But not every reader is comfortable with that visibility! Anonymous “asks” are a great way to share a little love. The option to send an “ask” is at the top of a writer’s blog if their asks are “open.” It’s usually a button with some clever way of saying “talk to me.” Lol, which is mine as a nod to Phoenix’s “Talk to me, Bob.” Just dropping a note, a screaming gif, a heart to say “i love your work” means the world. If you’re requesting something, it’s nice to lead with some kind of acknowledgment to the writer. Know that the writer will reshare your thoughts publicly though! So make sure to switch to “anonymous” mode before you start writing so you don’t forget when you post 😊

Also, personally, my messages are always open, and I love hearing from you there too!

That said, even with those varied options, saying anything can be a huge and terrifying stretch for readers, and that’s where I don’t really have an answer 💗 What can I say? When you give up time and important aspects of your life to put words to screen, it helps to know and feel that time is well spent. But I also want this space to feel welcome and open to everyone so demanding that people engage in a certain way, and in any way that is harmful to their well-being, is not conducive to everyone feeling safe and included. A communication work in progress, I guess 😅

I hope you stick around long enough to feel comfortable engaging but if not, I still hope my stories bring you joy 💗 I’ve had to de-prioritize writing quite a bit for the time being but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped wanting to get to know you all or thinking about you as I’m going about my day or cheering you on when I know you’re going through a tough time or also an amazing time. Life can be pretty rough, so I try to live by the motto “be kind.” I hope you feel that here, and I’m so grateful for the connections I’ve made through our shared love for TGM

xx

[karmitofenix]

My family is still staying in half of the church that wasn’t affected by the bombing because there is nowhere else to stay other than tents. They are limited to one small meal a day and one shower a week. They are sleeping on the floors, but no one can sleep since there is bombing everywhere around them. Even when there is no bombing, they can still hear the loud buzzing sound of the military planes above them, which would keep anyone who hears it awake. Along with everything, My grandma has diabetes and osteoporosis, so she can’t walk. She has to take her insulin medication along with many others; however, she has run out of many of her medications.” Am on my knees requesting for donation. Target $950

So this person posted this same text twice, and it's very recent account. All liked posts are also rebloged. Recently there a lot of people, sending me private messages, trying to shame me about the Palestine situation, and every single time is scammers. ...So to everyone who want to support palestine, do a favour to ourselves, actually go check the posts and find ways to share the word and to donate. If you don't have a lot of followers, don't even bother with the private messages, because you will have a small range to talk about these things or by the time, you actually check if it's real, they already trying to get the next one, on a rush to get money. Also if you just see a word, then a donate option on gofund me site, it's very much a scam. If it's rushed and lazily done, it's a scam. There some donations sites, instead of those scammers. https://www.palestinercs.org/ar https://www.pcrf.net/ https://opencollective.com/mutual-aid-gaza/projects/emergency-fund-gsg?slug=emergency-fund-gsg https://www.gofundme.com/f/urgent-support-for-medical-workers-in-gaza

Some sites with far more information, than what I can provide.

What pisses me off, you see these images of innocent people, try to at the very least to see, if it's real... It's not, every single time, I receive these private mesages, it's a scam. A bunch of heartless freaks, trying to use Human misery for cheap money. Otherise to everyone who don't do this, have a great day. Mine is kind of soored.

[dumbduckfan]

🌲Dating David Headcanons🌲

A/n: I love this man

The next post will by dating Johnny (sing) headcanons

(The GIF is not mine)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- This bean.

- We all agree that he is too pure for this world.

- You're his everything.

- Overprotective? Understatement! I mean, he won't be asking you every now and then if it's alright, but if he even sees something's wrong, he'll be right there in a second.

- This guy loves camping and the outdoors in general. If you want to go hiking with him sometimes, he will be so happy.

- With David you will definitely not be bored. Apart from the fact that he is not picky and, apart from his interests, he is open to what you would like to do, he also does not mind just resting.

- Which does not change the fact that he will have to burn his energy reserves.

- Supportive boyfriend let's gooo! He will literally support you anytime, anywhere.

- Are you afraid that you will not be able to cope with something? Your private beloved cheerleader will drive away all doubts and strengthen your self-confidence.

- He will never disregard you, never disrespect you. Just no.

- He usually calls you honey, but my pine or a diminutive of your name also happens.

- He always seems so cheerful, even too happy. If you've been in a long relationship (when he trusts you) sometimes he just can't stand it all and seems sad, sometimes he even cries.

- The option to open up to you is soothing and is the only effective remedy for him.

- Hugs.

- Hugs.

- Hugs.

- When you are in public, the best he can do is throw his arm over your shoulder or give you a gentle hug from behind (as long as it doesn't bother you).

- When you're alone, he's more clingy. He just loves to have you close.

- Is David the jealous type? Hard to say. On the one hand, he trusts you and would not suspect you of cheating, and when he is jealous, he feels a bit like a lost puppy.

- On the other hand, you probably remember the episode with Bonquisha... Yeah.

- He blushes like crazy whenever you kiss him.

- It's not like it's someone else's business that you're together, but at some point he'll finally show off to Gwen that he's dating you.

- Although, instead of show off, he will tell how great you are.

- If you get hurt, David will be here in a moment. At the same time, he will panic and ask if you are doing better.

- When you're sick, he'll take the day off to take care of you, even if you tell him it's not necessary.

- When David sees that you are not in the mood, he will try to cheer you up. If he sees that it does nothing, he will let you be alone. Usually he offers you a walk.

- Picnic dates!! This is probably the best idea for a date with him.

- Just imagine lying / sitting on a blanket together, watching nature and talking on various topics.

- David is cute when he gets carried away and talks passionately about things that he can't tell no one else, because they don't care.

- He'll play guitar for you for sure.

- If you tell me that talking about trees in his sleep isn't cute, you're lying. This may only seem annoying when you are also trying to sleep.

- David only blushes when something inappropriate and vulgar happens around or when he is ashamed. If you want to see him blush, just a surprise kiss is enough.

- Another easy way is to wear his T-shirt. Then he's red as a beetroot.

- Sometimes this guy needs to hear that he is important to you and that he is a great man. I have a feeling that he feels undervalued, so try to show him that he is important.

- In the face of a threat, he will try to protect you, but it will end up with you running with him in your arms.

[friend-crow]

I have a relatively reasonable thing to ask, but I am afraid it touches on controversial elements in places.

I am very much a plant person. A lot of my magic happens that way. In my garden, in private, quiet enjoyment of living things growing.

I know about some herbs that can be used for tea (if it is on the shelf at Safeway, I can be generally sure it is safe for human consumption if I can get it and grow it fresh i.e. chamomile and lavender) and I have a variety of things that I grow and use just for that.

If I wish to improve my acumen with both magical and culinary/botanical uses of plants, how would you suggest I proceed? My Mom used to keep a copy of "The Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs" on the shelf in my house, and I have flipped through a copy recently and sort of put it in the "sus" pile.

I have 4 different field guides, including Plants of the Pacific Northwest Coast, which has very good photos and occasionally mentions when/if a plant was used by native peoples if that is known, and in roughly what capacity (generally medicinal).

I know enough about plants to know that phytochemical concentrations vary widely even within species, and that without great care and experienced tutors, trying to use plants medicinally is Quite Dangerous. The danger Triples if you add mushrooms into the equation.

Do you think I should just Leave off the idea of getting better at herbal magic and learning herbal medicine? Is it just toeing controversial lines that are not worth it anymore? Read any good books lately??

Hello hello! Thank for you stopping by, and my apologies for the long time spent in rumination on this. Plants are a passion of mine, but I am far from an expert, and as you clearly know they can be very powerful, and even fatal, so.... obligatory disclaimer because I know you're not the only audience for this post.

I'm not sure there's much I can tell you that you don't already know, but perhaps I can supply a different angle on your existing knowledge, or else point you at some folks who are more knowledgeable than I am.

I think that local field guides and/or foraging books are a great place to start. I have Pacific Northwest Foraging by Douglas Deur, which has been useful in learning about edible native plants -- there were many moments of "oh yeah, that's everywhere and easy to ID" while reading it. Several of the "weeds" growing in my garden already are edible, so that's a good place to start regarding culinary uses.

I also have one on herbalism (The Herbal Apothecary by JJ Pursell -- I honestly don't know how this one ranks compared to other options), which goes over types of herbal remedies and techniques for preparing them, as well as many medicinal plants, though to be honest I plays it pretty safe when it comes to herbal medicine.

Plants like mullein and broadleaf plantain are, to my knowledge, pretty safe (assuming you don't have an allergy to them) and versatile, plus they grow as weeds in the PNW, which makes them easy to forage. They both have internal and topical uses, which means you can get familiar with various preparations with either one of these plants, which I think is a lot of fun.

@wildjuniperjones is an actual herbalist who might be able to give you better suggestions for books and/or ways to safely get into plant medicine than I can. I also get the sense that @elminx might have some insight into this area, or at least works with plants a lot and might have some useful input regarding the larger conversation.

As for magical uses, there are a few different approaches here (and these are just what come to mind for me -- this is in no way comprehensive, I'm sure), the first two of which don't require you to ingest anything at all. Bear in mind that I personally am coming to this from an animist perspective -- much of the magic I do is based on a spirit model, which is great for working with plants, but also might not be your jam.

Some approaches that immediately spring to mind (and all of these things overlap according to my framework, but I list them separately as that might not be the case for you):

-plants as spirit allies -plants as correspondences -achieving altered states using plants

as spirit allies

You already enjoy spending time with plants. I can't recall if you're interested in spirit work as well, but this can be a rewarding avenue, and a way to have a magical and/or spiritual relationship with some of the plants that at least I personally would not be comfortable fucking around with medicinally.

Personally I find plant spirits to be less communicative than, for instance, my ancestral spirits. I've been able to chat with some via divination, but it hasn't been as easy to tease out what they're trying to tell me. Basically plants are not like us, but they have spirits, and you can still form a bond with them by spending time together, observing them, talking to and caring for them. Spirit flight may also be a viable way for you to "meet them halfway" as it were, if you're into that. Over time you may feel comfortable calling on them for assistance in your magical workings.

@windvexer and @stagkingswife are both more experienced spirit workers than I am, and might have useful insight in this area.

correspondences

Personally I'm not into taking those pretty unsourced infographic lists of correspondences at face value -- I like knowing the history and reasoning behind them (because there usually is a reason). However, the more you learn about the medicinal uses of plants, the more you can glean about related magical uses.

A lot of correspondences are also based on folklore. Perhaps you have ties to a culture with plant folklore that you can research.

Coming back to the animist/spirit work angle, as you get to know plants as individuals and understand their spiritual nature, you may be able to recognize additional correspondences. There's nothing wrong with UPG as long as you recognize it for what it is, and you're not presenting it to others as something else.

Personally I don't really consider plant correspondences as ingredients in a recipe so much as friends with relevant skills I can ask for help (kind of like tagging other bloggers to help with an ask when I'm in over my head *cough*).

Putting the part I'm gonna get yelled at for under a cut 🥺

altered states

I'm probably gonna get some flack for this, but once again I encourage anybody reading this to do a ton of research before ingesting anything. This isn't just a disclaimer to cover my ass, it's important. Do the research. Know what you're getting into. Keep in mind any health conditions (mental or otherwise) which might make the use of these substances dangerous to you.

There are many psychoactive plants that I would personally not fuck with in terms of internal (or topical, for that matter) usage. I just don't have the knowledge, and as you say, dosage can be very difficult or impossible to gauge. Some of these substances can do you real harm, and it's not worth the risk to me.

With that said, altered states are a part of much of my magical work, though most often I do not use substances to achieve these states. Some believe that it is counterproductive to do so. Personally I don't feel that way, but it is different, and when it comes to chemically altered states it's important to note that you can't just turn it off -- you have to wait for it to run its course. This can mean sitting with intense discomfort, fear, paranoia, trauma, etc. for hours, and not everybody is prepared to do this.

Cannabis is an easy one to start with (and legal in many states at this point). Personally I prefer strains with low or no THC, but different people react to it differently, and where it makes me sleepy and/or anxious, other people find it eases their anxiety.

Mushrooms (usually cubensis or cyanescens, at least around these parts) are where you're more likely to hear of people having spiritual and/or healing experiences. Personally I had some bad trips when I was much younger, and will likely never do more than microdose at this point. They've been decriminalized where I am, for the record. I'm.... I'm not telling people to break laws, just explaining things that exist 👀

Returning again to spirit work, and this is where I think you would probably get the most enjoyment from this section, if you are interested in experimenting with mushrooms (I mean for all I know you already have and this is kid stuff to you, but whatever): I have known several people who have taken great satisfaction in growing their own mushrooms. I haven't done it myself, though I might try at some point. Obviously research on growing, dosage, etc. would be required.

Also weed. You can obviously grow your own weed, often legally.

I suspect that the combination of A. growing the plant/mushrooms and knowing them personally/as allies B. achieving an altered state using the plants you've cared for and bonded with and C. using the resulting altered state to do magic would be particularly potent.

Flashback to freshman year of college when I took mushrooms with a friend and spent all night theorizing about how "maybe when we get high on plants the plants get to experience consciousness through us, man"... Yeah, that's a bit embarrassing.

Obviously this section is not going to be for everyone, and that is perfectly valid. It is by no means a requirement -- just a possibility.

[lemony-snickers]

I just wanted to say: I very much enjoy your fics, and I think you're a great writer. I was sad to read about how you feel right now. Social media and interaction with people online can be so incredibly draining, never even mind fandom. I haven't been actively involved in a single one since my early Supernatural days, and I am beyond happy to just watch everything from the sidelines with the option to disengage completely on a whim. I can 100% understand you wanting to get out. Definitely do so if you think it's good for you. I've personally deleted most social media related accounts I had, and occasionally even ones I liked because I realized the vibe there wasn't good for me. I'm not attached to a single account or online presence of mine enough that I wouldn't delete it if I felt it was impacting me negatively. I wish you all the best for your future, and that you manage to get a therapy spot at one point. Struggling to even find one in the first place makes everything so much more difficult. I'll always remember your stories fondly. <3

tbh, i don’t use personal social media anymore because i am so just sour about myself that seeing other folks’ happiness makes me feel terrible. which… sucks.

i wrote recently in a private venting post about how i miss being able to feel joy for other people’s successes rather than just bitter jealousy.

turns out i can’t stop comparing myself to others in fandom any better than people i know in real life when they have babies or buy nice houses or are hired for a great job.

i don’t know if i’m ever going to be satisfied enough with my own life to not feel like everyone else’s happiness is an indictment of my choices. but hopefully one day.

thanks for the message. i hope you have a nice weekend. <3

[markets]

so twitter is here now huh

welcome! twitter is hell so glad to have you guys. im doing the same thiing everyone else is doing, tumblr advice for new people under the cut, if you dont feel like reading it all the most important things are in bold (click keep reading):

- since its relevant, if a post is very long use one of those things ^ so that its more comfortable for people scrolling! its the one on the right below. theres no character limit on here so please use this when necessary lol

- reblogging stuff you like is important, especially art and writing! thats really the only way to push content on here and the like to rb ratio on mcytblr tends to be terrible so its very appreciated. if you REALLY like it you can leave nice comments in the reply section or in the tags as well! people appreciate them a lot :] if you want to rb something but dont want it appearing on your blog right now, theres a little arrow next to the post button and if you click on it, you’ll get the option to queue the post, meaning it appears on your blog later (you can adjust exactly when in the queue settings, found under the little profile icon)

- you can choose how private you want to be. ive seen so many people be like “dont say your name. dont say your age. dont make an intro post.” or “put your entire medical history in your carrd” but i feel like you can choose how you want to present yourself on here! you dont have to say anything about yourself if you want, or you can make a fun intro post/carrd with the things you like, or you can just say your name (or moniker), whether youre a minor or not, and pronouns, or anything else! its up to you, and here you dont really have to worry about getting doxxed so. obviously dont give out your address or anything but yeah :]

- ^kind of going off what i just said, if you want friends on here, you can make an intro/looking for mutuals post and put your interests in the tag section! thats how i found lots of my mutuals. honestly just use the tags in general, because its the only way to get your posts out there other than rbs and its much better than speaking into the void. dont put tags unrelated to the post itself though, people dont really like it. tumblr prioritizes the first 5 tags on a post ive heard, so be mindful of that, especially if youre an artist or writer!

- on the subject of tags, if youre going to critique a dsmp character, feel free to do so, just tag it appropriately! for example, if youre making a post that criticizes c!philza, tag it as #c!philza critical. also, please dont tag dsmp/mcyt posts as mine//craft or mine//blr (censoring it so it doesnt appear in the search), people who just want to hear about the game dont appreciate it. also, please dont tag or1gin smp (censoring again) for posts about the hybrid smp with tommy, ranboo, tubbo, etc because an active fandom already uses that tag, use osmp instead :]

- discourse isnt really common on here, but if youre going to talk about it, tag it as #discourse so that people can blacklist it. oh yeah i forgot to talk about that, you can blacklist tags in settings, which is great for triggers or anything you just dont want to see. id suggest blacklisting all forms of whatever the tag is (for example, dont just blacklist #tw gore, blacklist #gore tw, #gore cw, #cw gore, and #gore as well). lots of blogs (like mine) operate on an ask to tag basis, meaning that if you send them an ask asking to tag a specific thing, they will!

- speaking of asks, people love them! ive never met someone who doesnt like getting an ask, regardless of how random it is. if you like someones content or want to be their friend, feel free to send an ask, anonymous or not! i think this goes without saying but just in case, sending anon hate is heavily frowned upon, its kind of a pussy move as well tbh so dont do it

- other than the occasional weirdo mcytblr/dsmpblr is pretty chill, so try not to start fights in main tags for no reason lol please i dont want to have to migrate to linkedin or some shit. if you see something you dont like, the best move is to just block them and move on. literally just block anyone you dont like itll make everything so much more pleasant i promise. however if you do want to start a fight my asks are always open <3333

overall, just dont be an asshole and have fun!! here are some blogs id recommend following: 

mine lol pls give me clout, @relaxxationattack, @cyani07, @night-and-dae, @otteritos, @esclapo, @periwinklemoonlight, @minecraftsz, @timedeo, @poorlydrawndsmp, @tittybitch, @lnniter​​, @girlbossinnit,​ @trickszie​ (if youre on here we’re mutuals and/or i think you’re really cool so hiiii)

[theramseyloft]

I revere pigeons. Their care and history is my special interest and they occupy my mind almost all the time. The knowledge that someone is deliberately hurting and neglecting ones they've stolen from caring, safer environments and people that were concerned for their wellbeing has me crying. Imagine being so empty as a person, to go so far as to injure a pigeon for imaginary internet points and attention.

I have been trying to work up the energy to write a post about this for weeks.

Christmas eve of 2018, my business page was contacted by some one looking for birds. 

In January 2019, he let slip that he was a minor, and that his parents were adamantly opposed to him having birds.

Minors whose parents are not fully supportive of their choice of pet are a hard no in my screening process. He kept asking questions as if preparing to care for birds he expected me to sell or adopt to him, and every time, I would ask to speak to his legal guardian. He did everything he could, from telling me his mom would call me later, to eventually calling my personal phone in the middle of the night to try and coerce me into sneaking him birds under the cover of darkness. I got to the point where I would only answer his questions about available birds with "Have your legal guardian ask me." About this time, Palomacy's head, Elizabeth, came to me privately to warn me not to adopt to him. I know she thinks breeders will do anything for a sale, but my screening process for babies I have hatched is every bit as strict as my screening process for rescues. I told her I had no plans to. But confessed that I’d had a troubled history of using rescue as a coping mechanism for an abusive home situation when I was in college, and felt obligated to mentor him. I was also taken in by the charming 'enthusiastic teen who really wants to learn' facade that he's so artfully developed. So, when he used a different name to get into the Small Scale Rescue and House Pet/Therapy pigeon discord servers, and let slip who he was by accident, I was content to let him stay, hoping that the information we share would help him develop into a better care taker. But more and more red flags started popping up.

One pigeon’s bare neck, claimed to have been a wonky molt, but inflamed and bristling with filoplumes (The avian equivalent of whiskers;thin hair like feathers that also fall out during that heavy a molt)

The same bird claimed to have eaten playdough and thrown it up, in a photo with a cage full of green, moldy poop. (Where did the bird get playdough? Why was it allowed to get far enough to swallow it?)

The same bird claimed to have coins and chunks of carrot pulled out of his crop (things a pigeon can’t physically swallow unaided)

In every progressive photo, the feathers are thinner and more bedraggled and the bird himself was losing weight.

That pigeon mysteriously vanished, only got him to get two more, and mention nonchallantly after the fact that “Oh, puff died last week.”

His new pet pigeons, who supposedly lived in their own room in his house, got out while he was moving a couch.

He got, and promptly lost two other rescue birds from the rescue I posted about late in the summer that was shut down by her city and urgently needed homes for their birds.

When told Great Lakes Pigeon Rescue was going to be warned about adopting to him, this is what he posted on my education server:

He had his eye on a bird of mine (Frito), talking him down like he was undesirable or unadoptable, and reasoning that I’d have a hard time finding a home for him because of his bad personality.

Frito washed from therapy training due to INTENSE dislike of his harness.

That, and that he had developed a strong independent streak and prefered the company of other birds to people were the first things I told Brysen when he asked after that specific bird.

In one channel of the server, he would be talking to me about how he didn’t mind Frito just being a pretty house bird and would be ok if he never warmed up to being handled...

While, in another, he would be posting harnesses, asking if they would work for Frito, and asking other residents how to make an independent bird get used to being handled.

When I called him on it, he came into my DMs with this mess:

(The turn around in tone in the 12 hours I was too angry to respond is almost funny..)

Remember that rescue from earlier?

These are screenshots of her conversation with him (used with permission) about the birds that were lost, sent to the person in charge of Palomacy, where he was an active member on their platform at the time, to warn that he was preying on rescues to get more birds:

This conversation clearly illustrates that he was using us and Palomacy only to adapt the way he preys on rescues.

There is a reason he preys on rescues. We are hopeful for people to improve. So he expects infinite chances from us. And he expects that a correctly worded apology will erase any consequences. He preys on pigeons because there are no laws in the US concerning their welfare. Despite being domestic animals (the pigeons brought by Europeans to North America had been domesticated for thousands of years, and there were no natives of the same species or even in the Columba genus to mix back with); Pigeons are under the jurisdiction of the Department of Natural Resources, which governs wildlife, and legally classifies them as an invasive pest. The Department of Agriculture is the one that presides over domestic animals and investigates animal cruelty. They may only act for the welfare of pigeons under the specific circumstance of the pigeons in question being meat breeds bred for squab intended for human consumption via restaurants. In any other instance, killing a pigeon by any means, including torture, is legally equivalent to pest control. There are no legal consequences for it.

After I blocked and banned him, it came to light through several sources in personal contact with him that he maimed, killed, and discarded 25 birds that we know of, and he is still trying to get more.

Several people who denied him birds shared screen shots with us proving that they were also sexually harassed and threatened with sexual violence by him.

Several of the people who came to us told us that they had also tried to warn Palomacy, but their comments were immediately erased.

Brysen was allowed to continue to speak openly on their platform with no consequences, allowing him to truthfully say that he was being mentored by Palomacy to lull smaller rescues into a false sense of security and convince them to give him birds.

They had two articles on their website about what a wonderful young rescuer he was, only taken down after they tried to claim I had doxxed an innocent child, and it was pointed out to them that their public articles had his full current address, date and place of birth, and a photo of him in front of his house. I had beef enough with the organization before this that I will not go into on this post, but I am disgusted by the way Elizabeth silenced her own admins and community members from warning other rescues and individuals and tried to shut the rescue up who sent the above screen shots when she came forward about the birds he tricked her into bringing to Ga who were immediately killed. And then blamed her for their deaths. @tutu.pigeon brought me those screen shots the day after I banned him and one of my server mods took it upon themself to be a voice for his other victims by creating the Instagram @exposing_helluva_duv What ever respect I might have had for Palomacy is permanently destroyed.

You cannot call yourself a rescue if you cover for a serial abuser, actively prevent his victims from warning the rest of their community, and then blame those victims for having been taken advantage of.

The harm that that, combined with everything else I have beef with, has done so out weighs any good that I can no longer, in good conscience, attempt to put aside our differences and meet in the middle.

I’m not gonna waste the energy to start any shit, and I don’t think any one else should either. 

But I’m done trying to be any degree of supportive to them.

Gonna put my energy into encouraging more small shelters so there are better options.

[djarrex]

Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh). 

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that. 

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.  

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask? 

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you. 

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.  

<3 

M

[valkariel]

✦ Valkariel’s Glamour Dresser

Welcome to my glamour dresser! All other FFXIV non-glamour gpose/screenshots/reblogs/lore will be @arsonway.

Read on for FAQs and logistics for this blog.

✦ INTRODUCTION

Hail friends and well met. I am 「Valkariel Arsonway Ilmarë」 (formerly Dawnbringer), the tiniest auri black mage of no great renown.

This side blog is intended to document my glamours with some reasonable tagging so that my future self can search for past glamours by job/role/color/character race/theme. If the glamour is shared on Eorzea Collection, I add the EC post link as the source link at the bottom of each post :> You are always welcome to wear any of my glams or adapt them for your character!

I also wear other people’s glams too! They will be tagged with links to the original glam on Eorzea Collection.

✦ FAQs

「 bibbidi bobbidi fire iv 」 Magical girl black mage at your service~!

Where can I find (WCIF) the Faeberry shader presets?

I’ve had some of you ask me about presets and poses. Faeberry presets are my personal presets and are not publicly released. They don’t work with the latest ReShade and will likely break with the upcoming graphical update. I’ve explained a bit in this post here about how to recreate presets with a similar feel though until I can fix mine.

Where can I find the pose(s) used?

I also make all of my own poses, none of which are released either.

Can I wear your glamour on my character?

Yes! You are always welcome to wear any of my glams or adapt them for your character. While credit is appreciated, it is entirely optional.

Do you have alts? Is this you?

I have exactly one character that goes by Valkariel, and she is Valkariel Ilmarë @ Gilgamesh. Her profile is set to private. Any other “Valkariel” is not me. I have alts that use different names.

Someone copied your glamour and/or character settings!

The game has a finite number of gear pieces and only 5 gear slots, not including jewelry. A finite number of gear combinations paired with popular pieces used more often means that unintentional similar glamours are bound to happen. Even if it was intentional, I upload glamours to Eorzea Collection and specifically encourage players to take inspiration from them. Also, Valkariel is usually a face 1 female au ra. To put it lightly, it is a rather popular choice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FFXIV is a game and I’m here to have a good time. Glamour does not make anyone unique or special. Remember that the way you treat others and contribute to society beyond the game speaks a lot more about you as a person.

✦ CHANGE LOG 

2024 Aug 1 ✦ Dawntrail spoiler embargo lifted.

2024 Jun 28 ✦ Dawntrail spoiler embargo goes into effect. Spoilers will be tagged with 「 #dawntrail spoilers 」. Reblogs of older glamours will be tagged with 「 #valkariel reblogs 」.

2024 Mar 2 ✦ Trying out a new change log format in the pinned post so I can track how things have changed over time. Updating FAQs for WCIFs.

2023 Jun 18 ✦ The time has come to bequeath a proper name to Valkariel. She is Dawnbring-ing no longer (although I like to think it’s a title she keeps).

2023 Feb 06 ✦ I’ve started migrating and fixing presets as I go. My personal Faeberry presets will likely be the only ones I use from now on. We will see.

[into-the-stratosphere]

Sweeney Todd: Revisted

Lol I can’t post this on any of my other socials just yet because the official cast list hasn’t been posted, but my tumblr isn’t linked to my Instagram or Facebook or anything like that, so I felt I could safely post here without getting in trouble. Warning now that this is a LONG post because I overwrite a lot lol

If you’ve been following me a while, you might remember last spring I was supposed to be in a production of Sweeney Todd as a soloist/ensemble member. We got through about a month and a half of rehearsals before everything was shut down by Covid, but the company kept promising we would do the show once everything opened up again, just a little while longer and we’ll do it, we’re pushing for October instead of May, this is going to happen. Honestly, once we hit the school year and no updates had come, I thought this would have to be a show I shelved until an entirely new production came up- until April this year we got an email asking who was still interested in returning.

Somehow we had gotten approval to move forward with the show again after all, and we were being moved to a larger space to accommodate a larger audience to boot! But with the new dates and location, naturally some cast members had to step down from their roles due to conflicts. In fact, pretty much the entire main cast had to step down; our Sweeney had moved in October, our Beggar Woman wasn’t comfortable coming back to live theatre just yet, Mrs Lovett would be on her honeymoon during the new show dates, our main Johanna would be working a new job further away, a lot of our younger cast was going to college out of state, like our Anthony and I believe both Toby’s.

In the initial email we were told that if we were willing to return, we could keep our roles and not have to reaudition, but as roles opened up we were also given the option to audition for the new openings. Our understudy Johanna was returning, so I figured they would bump her up into the main role, and I hoped I could squeeze in and maybe get the understudy spot this year, since last year I hadn’t made the cut for Johanna at all. I picked my music (Soon from A Little Night Music if anyone was wondering) and my monologue (fairly certain they wanted monologues just to hear that we could do accents because the audition listing said they preferred we did our monologue in accent), and set to preparing again to hopefully have a shot at Johanna this year.

A friend I met doing virtual shows was also auditioning, and when she mentioned she heard the new director didn’t want to have any understudies for the main cast, I grew worried, remembering our understudy Johanna said she was returning. Since I didn’t know how the director would go about distributing promised roles regarding understudy positions, I continued to prepare to the best of my ability with the slim hope I might get Johanna, but that hope was fading with the knowledge of the former understudy’s return.

A few days before the audition however, she posted in our private group that she too would have to step down, as she had just gotten accepted into her dream school and would be out of state during the production’s run. Suddenly the grey area barring me from Johanna dissipated, and all I had to worry for now was the new auditioning pool- this was one of the first in person shows to open in our area since the lockdown, so there was bound to be a lot of new faces trying to get back into the game.

I went in on Sunday feeling far more prepared than I did last year (I almost didn’t audition last year because I had only just gotten my voice back from a horrible flu strain), and funnily enough, my friend I had met doing virtual shows had signed up for the same time bracket as me without either of us knowing. Entering the audition room, I immediately felt good; everyone had such a welcoming atmosphere, the director was friendly as could be, but I could also tell he was very professional. I performed the best I could, waited for my friend to finish her audition afterwards, then we went to go talk and catch up while desperately waiting to possibly get a callback.

We chatted for hours about theatre, our virtual theatre group, life, all while keeping a vigilant eye on the time for when that day’s auditions would end and calls would be made. Eventually we both decided to go home, wishing each other the best and hoping to see each other again at callbacks.

I was only halfway home when my phone rang; they loved my audition and wanted me to come in on Tuesday to read for Johanna at callbacks. I was so excited that I started crying behind the wheel, and from the way my phone was blowing up with messages from my friend, I knew she had gotten a callback as well.

Luckily they asked me to prepare Green Finch and Linnet Bird for the callback, because I have known the song for about two years now- I had put it in my audition book about a month before my Sydney trip in 2019, and the hope to perform it in the original production had been the reason I auditioned in 2020 in the first place. I found out there was two other girls they were looking at for Johanna, so I worried day and night that what if they already knew the song too, what if their resumes were better than mine, what if I cracked, what if, what if, what if…

Tuesday came and I could only hope I’d get another burst of energy after a long day at work. I showed up about forty five minutes early (the drive usually took about half an hour, but the traffic had been forgiving), hearing snippets of the Anthony’s and Beggar Woman’s upstairs, and then the first of the other two Johanna’s showed up. She was so nice, and with time the second Johanna showed up. We all chatted as the Sweeney’s, and Beggar Woman’s came down, and soon enough, they were calling the Johanna’s to head upstairs.

The Anthony’s were still upstairs when we got there, certainly so we could read our audition scenes together. The director explained we’d be singing our song first (ALL of Green Finch, since there’s no good natural spot to stop in the song), and then taking turns reading with both Anthony’s. Since I volunteered to go first, the director said he’d let me go a second time after the other two girls, that way I could adjust any slip ups since I was basically test running the sound and space for the other two girls. The speaker was as loud as it could go, but once I started singing I quickly realized that I drowned out the music and couldn’t hear my accompaniment anymore, so I relied on my muscle memory of the flow of the song and my internal meter to get me through to the end. I only messed up on the trill before the final verse, it was so much longer than I anticipated, but I knew I’d be able to fix that after hearing the other two girls. Turns out the other two had only started looking at the song once they got called back, so I had an edge on having it memorized, but once I heard their voices I grew worried because they both had such beautiful tones, trying to react quickly to when they missed something in the music. I went through my second time, correcting my mistake with the trill (which all three of us made the same mistake there) and tweaking a few small things to my blocking, and then we were given a scene to read with the Anthony’s.

We would all get a turn with both Anthony’s to get a sense of chemistry, as well so we could all make adjustments (the director reminded us the context of the scene we were reading after we all finished with the first Anthony, and guided us on a better direction to what Johanna would be feeling in that moment for our second time through). I felt I really connected well with both Anthony’s, familiar with the scene and story so I wouldn’t have to be buried in my lines. It was during our read-throughs that I realized the other two Johanna’s were likely a few years older than me based on how they played her; more mature, more sure of themselves. I finished my second read-through, hopefully keeping to the context of the scene better than my first run-through, and we were all told that we could head home, that we’d be hearing from them in a day or two regarding final casting. Before I hit the door, the director paused me, asking if I still had my original script from the prior production. Heart pounding at the implications his question could be loaded with, I told them I did, and in fact I had it with me. “It felt like good luck to bring it,” I said, and they all laughed with me at lugging around a four hundred page script for luck.

When we got downstairs, the Johanna I was particularly worried about asked me if I studied opera, which I admitted I did have an associates degree for music. We all talked a while longer before they all headed out, and I sought my friend in the lobby to confide in her; I think I’ve got Johanna.

After talking with her a bit about our auditions, explaining how I thought I had an edge, I headed home, hardly able to sleep as I picked my audition apart in my head and awaited some kind of phone call.

The next day at work I jumped every time my phone buzzed, waiting to see if it was a call. When I was upstairs heating up my lunch, my friend asked if I had heard anything yet, mentioning how she and our Judge thought the director would start making calls after work. I assented- it made sense, plus it’s so much better to actually be able to receive the call than to come back to a voicemail about your casting.

As I waited in the hall for someone, my phone started buzzing with a call, and my heart rate shot up. It was still so early in the afternoon, not quite 3:30, and with everything I had knew was good about my audition, I allowed myself a flicker of hope. I knew I had a few minutes, so I quickly answered- and there was our director on the other side.

“Hi, is this Shelby? This is (director), from Sweeney Todd.” I responded back, asking how he was, trying not to lose my nerve. “I’m great, thanks for asking. We’re just starting to call everyone about casting, and we were just so impressed with your auditions, your first and your callback; we were interested if you’d be willing to accept the role of Johanna?”

I was trying not to cry on the phone as I excitedly responded YES, I would LOVE to play Johanna- I had wanted to play Johanna for a year and a half at this point, and here was my moment at last. After a few more logistical questions, he bid me a good day and hung up to call the rest of the main cast. I was just bubbling over with excitement, the first thing I did was message my friend that I’d gotten Johanna- she had found out the night before that she was going to be the Beggar Woman since she stayed late at callbacks to discuss a miscommunication with the director (she was accidentally twenty minutes late because her email had the wrong callback time listed, and when the director was made aware, she asked if she could sing again, and he said “we don’t need you to, we saw all we needed your first time through- you ARE the Beggar Woman”), then I messaged our Judge Turpin, who was one of the other few returning cast members.

My coworkers were all so excited for me, asking me when the show was going to be, that they’d all make a group to go see it together. When I got home, I tricked my parents into thinking I was still nervous about casting, saying “I don’t know, I’m just nervous… I mean, my first kiss is going to be on stage.” And when it clicked that I had gotten the part, my mom screamed and my dad laughed at my mischievousness at tricking both of them, congratulating me.

I’m still waiting on the go-ahead so I can post about this on my main socials, but I’ve just been so excited that I had to find a way to post it secretly somewhere, just so I wouldn’t burst at the seams holding this in. Our first rehearsal is in August, so my rehearsal stories series will be returning once those start (I theorized there’s a gap between auditions and first rehearsals because the cast has to be vaccinated for legal reasons, so the handful that aren’t can have time to get their vaccines).

For now, I get to wonder who my other fellow cast mates are, who my Anthony will be. Until then, if I cannot fly, let me sing 🕊 -Johanna (Shelby)

[hyba]

Where to Share Your Writing Outside Tumblr

This was inspired by an ask from @ficsinhistory. I have a few options to share, but I want to start by saying that it's definitely a good idea to do your own research about the safety/security of all of the following platforms before choosing which one you prefer to go to. I’m not an expert by any means and these are mainly based on my own experience. But, aside from security, there are also a lot of other things to consider as a writer, including the writing culture on the platform, what people expect on that platform, how it functions, how easy it is to connect with others, and so on.

I think you may already know this, but I spend a lot of time looking for Tumblr alternatives. While I really love Tumblr's layout and community and believe in its potential to be great, I also know that as a professional writer, I'm going to need something other than just Tumblr (and at some point, I might even have to migrate from Tumblr to a more sustainable platform that allows me more control). Because of this, I have actually tried out quite a few platforms where you can share your writing, and below I'm going to go through them and my thoughts on each. I'll go in the order that I discovered/tried them in.

I’ll be discussing:

Dreamwidth

She Writes

Prolitfic

Medium

Blogger

Twitter

More private alternatives

Dreamwidth

Dreamwidth has been around since 2008 and has a very classic blog layout. On this platform, blogs are referred to as 'journals'. It has a fairly good array of functionalities, including scheduling posts, a decent text editor, communities/shared journals, comments on posts, locked (private) posts, and a lot more that we also have here on Tumblr. In fact, in terms of functionalities, it's very, very similar to Tumblr - it's just that the layout is different and looks quite classic. (But I also see that you can code your own Dreamwidth theme, much like how a lot of Tumblr users can do the same.)

As an example, here's my Dreamwidth journal:

As you can see on the side there, you can actually access a Dreamwidth journal's "Reading" tab, which I've renamed "Dashboard" - because it does the same thing as the Tumblr dashboard! That's basically a feed where all of the most recent posts of other journals that I follow pop up. There are a bunch of other overlapping features, but I don't want to ramble here. This is a lot like Blogger (which I have way at the end of the list), but it has much easier community features. I found it easier to find others on here, simply because it has a Search function where you can search for other journals and users and groups and see which ones have been most recently active.

Dreamwidth also has a great section on their website where they discuss your privacy and how to make your journal as private as possible. You actually have the option of making your journal public or private, which means you are the one who chooses who can access it, or who can access certain posts. I think that’s pretty cool.

You can also know more about this website through their FAQs page, which is well-organized and really detailed.

SheWrites

This one is basically a blogging platform for female writers from around the world. The layout and setup of it is really cool (and actually, you can be a male on this website, last time I checked, so it's not entirely exclusive anymore). However, it's a pretty quiet place to be. You won't get a lot of engagement, and it seems like a lot of people create an account on here and then disappear within a few weeks/months. It's very different from Tumblr, with a lot of functionalities missing, but the basics that you really need are still there. Here's what mine looks like:

I'm not very active there myself because the website, in my experience, is a bit glitchy, and the last time I tried to reach out to their support email, it turned out to be fake or not functional. Either way, my message didn't get through. I'm sort of half-half on this one. I see great potential and it has a clean, professional design, but I feel it’s a bit too empty and engagement is very low - a lot of people only advertise their books on here. Still, you can improve engagement by leaving comments on others’ posts and engaging with them.

Here’s their privacy policy. In general, I wouldn’t post your actual writing on here (except maybe excerpts). It’s more of a blogging platform, not really one where you can share your writing, in my experience. It seems that professionalism and respect are the general culture here.

Prolitfic

This one is actually a great platform to share writing if you're okay getting serious constructive criticism. Everybody on this platform seems committed to helping their fellow writers improve their craft, and it's a super honest (but not mean) community that I think is rare to find online. However, that being said, it's also limited in terms of community. Not only is it still currently small, it also doesn't have chatting/messaging functionalities. It's really more of a place where you post stories and other people read them and leave reviews and constructive criticism. There's no personal connection, so if that's what you're looking for, this isn't the place. But it is the place if you want engagement with your writing that will help you improve.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been active on it in about a year, which is a big shame because it’s really an amazing platform to get solid reviews and support from other writers. It also has a cool analytics feature for you to check out with each story you write and share:

I think this one seems to me like a great place to be. The community is small, but really cool and respectful, and that’s the culture there, so I don’t think anyone who is not mature and respectful to their fellow writers would do well at all on this platform.

Here’s their Privacy Policy.

Medium

This is one of those platforms that’s really popular, but I don’t really get how it works. It’s a super big community, and everyone on Medium is writing. The only issue is, the fact that everyone is writing makes it super hard for you to get any engagement. I’m sure that if you work hard at making your stuff easily discovered through using specific tags and words, you might be able to get a lot of readers, but I don’t really have the patience for that and soon gave up. I might return some other time. 

Here’s their Privacy Policy. In general, you’ll find a lot of professionals active on Medium, so I would imagine that their security has to be pretty top-notch, or else people would be very angry. So that’s a possible plus for this platform, despite how hard it is to get your stuff noticed.

Blogger

This is a Google-owned blogging platform. It also features a really classic blog layout, much like Dreamwidth. In fact, if you like Dreamwidth, you’ll probably like Blogger. It’s easy to use, and the layout is really simple, as you can see:

People can subscribe to your blog by email, or they can follow you if they have a Google account using the Blogger platform. Here’s what it looks like to you as the blogger when you log in:

As you can see, it’s a simple layout. You can see your posts, your statistics, comments, and a lot of other stuff. You can also choose/customize themes. And, at the bottom left hand corner, you’ll see something called “Reading List” - that’s where you can access all of the latest post by all of the blogs that you follow.

While I still think that finding a community is easier on Dreamwidth, I have to admit that the fact that the “Reading List” remains private on Blogger is really cool, because in Dreamwidth, anyone can see your “Reading” list (which I called ”Dashboard” in mine), but on Blogger, it’s private and can only be seen by you (unless you somehow want to share it).

Google usually has good security, so I don’t think you have to worry about Blogger. If anything, the main concern is actually getting people to read your posts. As you can see, over the past few months, I’ve had minimal engagement - but to be fair, I haven’t told a soul about my Blogger blog, so I guess that makes sense. Make sure to have a place where you can actually share your blog for people to come read it.

Twitter

Ah, finally, we get to one of the most popular social media outlets for writers. I personally find the Twitter writer culture a bit difficult to get used to - it’s all about getting followers and not really about writing, which bothers me a bit. However, it’s a good place to easily connect with others and built a platform of followers. You could use this in conjunction with something like any of the previous platforms and share links to your blog posts through it.

I’m personally still getting the hang of it, so I can’t say much, but what I’ve experienced on it so far is not very inspiring. I don’t think this is a platform for writers who want to share their actual writing - sharing your writing gets you very little engagement here. Most people engage with question posts, polls, and funny posts.

As for security, here’s their privacy policy. Here’s what they say about keeping your account secure. Someone mentioned that there is also a mirror site for Twitter, but I couldn’t find it, so maybe there is, but maybe there isn’t.

More private alternatives

1. Wordpress: I have no experience with this one, but a lot of writers and bloggers use it, as well as very professional people - I’m guessing they have to have pretty good security because of how widely used Wordpress is.

2. Discord (and alternatives): It’s more of a big chatroom, but it’s a good alternative if you just want to have a writing group or be a part of a writing community. You can share links to private blog posts with your writing, or even to Google Docs and other platforms. That’s a pretty secure way of sharing your writing, but it requires you to have a community that you trust and that would be willing to be on Discord or any of its alternatives.

3. Google Groups/Docs/Drive: If you already have a set of trusted writer friends, why not just move things to Google? You can create shared Google Drive folders where you can share your writing and comment on each other’s works. You can send each other emails with updates and as a way of discussing topics of interest. And you can start Hangouts - basically chats - with your writing group. Anytime you want to stop sharing your writing, you can do that.

4. Mastodon: I honestly don’t know much about this one, but it seems lauded for its security and a lot of people use it to create things called “instances” which allow them to have their own social media communities. It seems to function a lot like Twitter.

5. Create your own website: If you have a website created, you can make sure that it has all the security features you need to keep your writing safe. The only thing here is that I’m sure there will always be someone finding a way around your security, so I would still be a bit careful with what you share regardless. Plus, not everyone knows how to make a website or has the money for it (I’m in the same boat!).

As a final addition, here’s a post I found online about how to keep your blog secure. It might come in handy depending on which platform(s) you are using.

Concluding Remarks: Here’s how I’m dealing with it currently, and it might or might not help you. I’ve decided to keep Tumblr to Tumblr, and not share any more original writing on the platform, unless it’s in the form of writing prompts and discussion pieces. Aside from that, I have a writing buddy and friends that I trust completely who I share my writing with via email/Google Docs. I will still talk about my WIPs, but I won’t share any actual writing. I’m also trying to become more active on some of these platforms, partly because I want to reach other communities, and partly because I want to have a backup place to go in case Tumblr becomes too insecure for me to stay.

I hope this has helped a bit! There are probably a lot of other platforms out there, like online writers’ workshops and such, so don’t feel forced to choose one of the above - it’s completely up to you and I really urge you to do more research online to find the best fit for you. Also, if anyone has other suggestions, please share them!

[sinsbymanka]

Hey. I'm sorry. So. Your post about sunseekerknight is really long and it seems out of date. I thought everything had been resolved and she promised to make amends but this all started back around again and it sounds like your issue isn't solved. Can you update me real quick? Sorry.

Thanks for being polite and coming to me. I’ll try to summarize things to the best of ability while also noting this is kinda a clusterfuck. It got long, so it’s under a cut.

In March 2020, I commissioned @sunseekerknight (I’m blocked so I can’t actually @ her) to do a Tarot Card commission of my Inquisitor for $80. I sent the money via PayPal friends and family as she requested which is something I no longer do for artists, even though I’d done it before with no problems. 

The main post goes over my initial experience really well - the repeated attempts at contact and missed deadlines. This post was made on June 18, 2020 and blew up. I informed Ada that day I was making the post and she told me she’d be doing so as well. 

I’d already filed the PayPal claim which was ultimately denied because I’d sent the money via friends and family, despite SSK’s assurances she’d help me resolve it in my favor. 

I didn’t hear from SSK after this and I didn’t contact her. My father passed away on June 20th and I was busy dealing with the personal fallout of that (he’d been in the hospital the whole month of June as it was) so my priorities swung towards processing my own grief and planning what happens next. 

On July 10th, my PayPal claim was denied. I forwarded the claim to SSK with the following message:

I want to inform you that PayPal has indicated, due to the way you asked me to send the funds (friends and family), they are unable to provide any sort of refund based on their policies. It is your responsibility to make the refund.

Because of the history of fraud I've uncovered, I will be pursuing this further. I am, in particular, asking PayPal to mark this account as one used for fraudulent transactions and scamming money before closing it. My hope is that this account is in your real name and that getting this account marked for fraud has real consequences you have to live with.

I honestly didn’t expect to hear from SSK again, but I did on July 12th: 

Oh, I see. Now the difficult situation has become even more difficult. I'm sorry to say this, but, as I said earlier, I had only two offers for people affected by my actions - a PayPal dispute or finished art. And since PayPal is useless in this situation, all I can offer you - is art. I’m still ready to finish your commission because I don't want you to be left with nothing. I would like to return the money, really, but it will take time and I don't know how much, considering the current situation on Tumblr. I still want to resolve this issue peacefully, despite what is happening now. I know that you don't trust me, and I understand this, as well as the fact that you are disappointed, angry, etc., but still I want to do at least something so as not to leave the situation as it is now. But if this is your final decision, then okay, I understand and accept it.

This message struck me as victim blaming. I am, after all, responsible for the situation on Tumblr which means she can’t get commissions. I reacted with some venom and my tone is not great here, but I do ask you to understand the frame of mind I was in here on July 13th: 

I don't think it's fair to claim that PayPal is being unhelpful in this situation when it is you who are refusing to refund money for a service that was purchased and not completed. I think it would make me feel better if you started phrasing the "situation" in a way that took responsibility for it. Such as: "I cannot refund the money to you myself, because I spent it before delivering what you paid for, and I cannot get your dispute resolved through PayPal because I asked you to send the payment a specific way that precludes disputes." 

I also feel hurt that immediately after I sent my email on Friday, you blocked me from Tumblr and turned all your social media accounts private. I can't think of why you would do this when you claim to still want to resolve this and when I have been more than kind. I find it difficult to believe that you didn't know what my review would cause - it sounds to me like this is something that has been brewing for awhile. Frankly, I'm amazed it took three years. I would also appreciate if, instead of blaming the "situation" on Tumblr for your inability to receive new commissions, you began taking responsibility for that as well. May I suggest: "My actions in the past three years have harmed many people and they are angry about it with good cause. Because I have damaged my reputation to a great extent, I will probably not receive many, if any, people willing to pay me money for commissions." 

I fully expect to receive nothing from you: art or my money returned. When speaking with PayPal on Friday, they advised the only way to shut your PayPal account down is if I file a criminal complaint with the IC3, which is the US's Internet Crimes division of the FBI. I did so and sent them the screenshots I have of all our conversations, your posts on Tumblr, and links to the posts of other people who publicly came out regarding the same behavior they experienced. I'm uncertain I can withdraw my complaints from both PayPal and the IC3, and if I could I don't think I would. I'm sure this isn't something that is high priority for them, but I assume eventually they will contact you to discuss your actions. The way I see it, you have three options at this point in time:

Find some way to issue a refund to me, and any other customers you've wronged. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a refund was eventually issued in my case. 

Deliver the art you promised to me, and any other customers. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a product was eventually delivered in my case. 

Continue to ignore what you've done and hope that no real consequences come of it. 

As to the art, I don't want it anymore. It has been tainted by this awful experience and I will not enjoy it. I will, however, accept it if you choose to do it to lessen whatever consequences you may end up facing because, truly, I'd rather you learn from this than end up with financial or legal consequences that are even more burdensome. 

Honestly. I never expected to hear from SSK again. But I did because this is the drama that never ends. On July 20th: 

I must apologize for the long silence. Sorry, I just got home from an unexpected vacation with my family, and I followed the advice of my parents and friends - spend these days away from work and the Internet to feel better. As I said, I understand you. You sound reasonable and you are totally right - it is my responsibility for that. And I'm trying to work it out, even if these are rather strange ways. And it wasn't about you personally. This was part of another problem with a friend I was trying to protect, and I followed the advice to keep the accounts private during the "war" and block some people on the tumblr during this time to avoid any collisions. But still, I was available for correspondence via email, and now all my accounts are again freely available. I know how it looks like, especially for you, when you have really been more than kind to me, and I cannot apologize enough to somehow change and improve this situation. I just fucked up on all fronts and I admit it. And I see, yes. I don't mind returning your art or money, it's just a matter of time. These are not days, these are weeks or months, and it is solely a matter of your patience. If you do not mind waiting, then I will try to return the money to you, since you no longer want art for obvious reasons. I understand and accept it, and it's okay. If you're willing to wait, I'll keep you informed of the refund situation and will do it as soon as I can.

You’ll note earlier I told you I can’t tag SSK cause I’m blocked. I’ve never been unblocked since July despite her saying she would. This is also the last email I got from SSK. I’ve had no communication since to my knowledge.

At this point in time I was tired. Really tired. It was bad news I got this email exactly a month after my father passed because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. This is my second to last email to SSK in response also on July 20th: 

Please feel free to do what you need to do to manage the situation. For my part, I have said and done all I can. I have asked for a refund for a service you have been unable to provide in a reasonable time frame, and thus you are legally obligated to return my money in the same reasonable time frame. That time frame has passed already.

When I am contacted by authorities about this matter in response to my complaints, I will tell them you have promised refunds but have not delivered. The only thing you could do to change this answer is to issue a refund before I am contacted.

This exchange is draining and unhelpful for me. I ask that you please do not contact me again until you are ready to issue a refund. 

On September 25th, I was informed SSK had successfully opened commissions on Twitter and Instagram. This spurred me to send one final email: 

I've been informed you recently reopened commissions to buy yourself something and met your goal, even though you only advertised on Twitter and Instagram. 

I would like to remind you that I'm still owed a refund AND you shouldn't spend that commission money until you deliver on that art. Please do not rip and entire new group of people off. 

There are other people, in the notes of the original post, who can attest to terrible experiences similar to mine. In particular, @starsandskies, @vorchagirl, and @charlatron have all come forward to talk about what she’s done and their experiences. Her pattern seems to be to open commissions, deliver a few, have the rest dragged out of her, and then to not do other ones. I drew the short straw this time. 

I don’t know if she’s reading this - if she is, at this point all I really want is an apology, a list of people who are waiting for art/refunds from her, and a plan as to how she’s going to make it right. If she doesn’t do those things, I suspect I’m going to keep getting dragged back into this cluster for awhile to talk about my experiences. 

If you’re waiting for artwork Non, open PayPal disputes and file complaints if you need to. The sooner the better.