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lemonadecandy103 · 1 year

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Psycho Pass Providence — The Re-introduction of Kougami Shinya

Still working on a general review on Psycho Pass: Providence and also a Shinkane/KouAka post. But I had so many thoughts on Kougami after watching the movie twice that I had to document them while they were still fresh. This is a follow-up to a post I made about Kougami prior to watching PPP: some of my impressions did change while others stayed the same. It’s a lot so keep reading if you’re interested in what I thought about Kougami’s character in Providence. WARNING: Spoilers!!!

I’ll begin with the scene in Dejima where Kougami and Saiga are drinking together. There’s one particular line that I felt could’ve been made smoother: Saiga says “the girl is neither a saint nor a bodhisattva, screw around too much and you’ll end up getting enforced. Apologize while you still have the chance Kougami. Take it from an old timer like me.” and he raises his glass with a smile. I watched both the subbed and the dubbed version and the line is very similar across both. I can’t help but think that line could’ve been improved slightly. Maybe it flows more naturally in Japanese so I can’t speak on that matter. But if I had the liberty of tweaking it even just a little, it would go as follows: “the girl in neither a saint nor a bodhisattva, screw around too much and you’ll end up losing her forever.”

And I don’t mean to necessarily press for him losing her as a love interest, but even just a trusted friend or at least a colleague who always had his best interest in mind.

Ultimately, not exploring the more emotional (and by extension—the romantic) aspects of Kougami’s character was a missed opportunity for Providence in my opinion. He’s the second main character in this installment and we got very little inward reflection from him this time around. The last 15 or so minutes of the film is what really impressed me with respect to his character. Seeing him exit the isolation facility, looking back, and then looking ahead, declaring “I swear, I’ll come back for you,” with such ardor reminded me that he’s still a hero in this story, however unconventional he may be.

It was clear that Akane and Kougami’s relationship had to change in this installment. After 6 long years, they are both different people now and cannot go back to the same relationship dynamics as in Season 1. More on that in a different post. Consequently, the portrayal of these individual characters had to evolve in order to match this change. Initially, when I watched the promotional clips, I was put off by his bluntness—especially towards Akane. But there were instances where we saw the caring Kougami seep through. He smiles once in the film. And this is when Saiga tells him: “I don’t work with the PSB, I work with Akane Tsunemori.” I don’t know if he smiles because he still finds it funny that Saiga is cooperating with the government or if he smiles at the mention of Akane’s name or even some matter of pride at how much Akane is respected by Professor Saiga. Either way, it was nice to see this moment.

The other less noticeable moments from Kougami were two times when he showed what I can interpret as a combination of grief and frustration. From my observations, his eyes were animated to have this glistening/“quivering” motion, similar to this gif, minus the actual tears — there were no tears in Kougami’s case:

It’s very subtle but please let me know if anyone else also noticed this. The first time his eyes did this was when after Saiga died and he called Shion to consult Saiga’s psychological profile of Tonami along wirh Akira’s poem. Shion mentions how horrible it was — what happened to the professor. Kougami pauses and adds “Yeah” but the tone is almost as if he had to force it out of himself. I couldn’t help but feel like he was holding it together for the investigation, but deep down was grieving the loss of his dear professor. After all, he told Akane to keep it bottled up until the end of the case. The second time I saw this effect of his eyes was while he was reading Akane’s letter in his isolation cell. He gets to the part where she writes about being glad to have seen him again and that he helped her find the answer. He calls her a bakayaro, and his hands grab the letter so fiercely that it kind-of crumples while he throws his whole body into a defeated hunch — since he’s stuck in his cell and can’t even do anything to stop her.

I had read some early accounts by Japanese viewers that he was crying while reading her letter: this effect in the eyes may have been what was mistaken as crying.

Although it was nice to see Kougami go through these moments in PPP, I can’t help but feel like there could have been more. However, Providence is a very dense film and I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt that with all the action sequences, Akane’s iconic scenes, and the supporting cast all getting their own memorable segments, Kougami’s development just wasn’t a priority. If Shiotani, Fukami, and Ubukata intend to make an SAD spin-off as they’ve expressed in interviews, I would hope that they explore possible romantic or other intimate human feelings on Kougami’s part — similar to how he learned to be a father figure to Tenzing. In fact, I would argue that after Providence, it’s likely that they’ve backed themselves into a corner with regards to Kougami’s interpersonal relationships. The tension between Kougami and Akane was essentially the secondary conflict of the film and it ended with some resolution midway but also a shift in Kougami’s disposition once he read Akane’s letter, realizing the impact he had on her life. If there’s further content on Kougami as a person, we almost certainly need to at least confront his relationship with Akane and even Ginoza (was somewhat addressed on the boat scene and we see them on good terms in Season 3/PPFI). The other route is just watching a 007-Misson Impossible Kougami getting into knife fights and performing crazy stunts, but I think the PP fandom in general agrees that this option would be dull and a waste of a character who had such an artful inception. Now I know that PP wants to go for a more shōnen look and are cautious of depicting romance between the main characters. It was pretty obvious with Arata being introduced as the new main character and the fact that Yuki Kaji was brought on board to voice him (he’s done fantastic work on many popular shōnen characters including Eren Jaeger). But, showing how love could affect Kougami and how him giving love could present new angles of his character would undoubtedly be exciting to see. We know he wants to protect people. We know that he’s decided to work outside of the law in order to do that. He’s made peace with his revenge and he’s learned that he wants to protect people without any reserve or obligation. Saiga warned him about potentially becoming a killing machine like Tonami if he keeps letting people use him as a hunting dog, and he agreed that he doesn’t want that. I expect that he could follow the same thought process as Ginoza did in SS Case 1 where he ultimately just wants to help people with his detective work, without much care for who’s judged to be good or evil. On this note, it would be beneficial for Kougami to understand his heart a bit more. Maybe visit his mother too? Maybe actually value his own life instead of running into a fight like he has nothing to lose? He’d already prepared Akane for his death way back between S1 and S2. Would he fight differently if Akane were expecting him to come back home alive?

Hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on Kougami’s character. Still love our chaotic spikey-haired gun-slinging emo cowboy. And I’m looking forward to what the creators might do with his character next.

#psycho pass #psycho pass providence #shinya kougami #akane tsunemori #shinkane #kouaka #gekijouban psycho pass #psycho pass sinners of the system #joji saiga #ginoza nobuchika #character analysis #thoughts

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melverie · 1 year

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So......about Solomon

Before we get started: Discussions on this post are more than welcomed as long as you keep it civil and constructive. At the end of the day, this is still a game about fictional characters, so there's no reason to literally harass others over liking or disliking a character If it truly upsets you that much--which is valid btw--than the best thing to do would probably be to simply not engage with the other party, and not harass them over it; you won't change anyone's mind that way. I know most of you aren't like this but unfortunately it still needs to be said Also, if you want me to add sources to some points, feel free to ask! I've tried to mention the chapters as I go, but I might still have forgotten some. Some of the arguments I make are also hidden behind certain player options; if you can't find them, fell free to ask about them and I'll gladly tell you Also also, general spoiler warning for both the og game and Nightbringer. I'm not really covering anything specific after lesson 60 in the og game and lesson 14 in NB, but I might still mention things from later lessons

Now, onto the actual topic. There've been quite a few arguments against Solomon in the past few days, but I mostly just want to focus on those three:

Solomon wanted to force MC into killing Lucifer at the end of season 2 in the og game

Solomon betrayed the brothers and keeps hiding behind "wanting to protect humanity" as a scapegoat for his actions (putting these two together bc I think they go hand in hand, but it'll make more sense later)

Solomon tricked Asmodeus into a pact without his consent

This entire thing is very long, so feel free to jump around if one point interests you more than another

Solomon wanted to force MC into killing Lucifer at the end of season 2 in the og game

[mainly 38-12, og & 38-15, og]

He did, yeah. But here's the thing

They were all forced into a corner since the fate of all three realms was on the line here, and with the Ring of Light's whereabouts still being unknown at the time, they literally had no other choice if they wanted to save everyone. It wasn't Solomon that randomly decided the only way to restore the Night Dagger's power was by killing a powerful demon, it's always been that way. And he can't just be like "Oh well, let's switch strategies then and focus on finding the Ring of Light" when the entire cast (minus Simeon) has no idea where the ring is and the last time any of them saw it was centuries to millennia ago, if not longer. They don't have the time to search for it considering all the destruction MC's Ring has already caused in such a short period of time

Solomon first tells MC to do kill Luci, only to add that he was just joking and knows MC would never actually go through with it. Then, he says that if they wouldn't do it, he'd do it himself. Which kinda sounds like forcing, right? Except this happens [38-15, og; pic below]:

He was prepared to, which doesn't clear him of trying to indirectly force MC, let's get that straight. But ultimately he drops it and accepts that maybe their only option really is to just die here. This is also the only time we see him acting against his beliefs btw

Also yes, Solomon might not have been the one that decided they needed to kill a powerful demon, but he seems to be the one that settled on said demon being Lucifer. The only other viable options would most likely be Diavolo and Barbatos. Don't know if the Demon King in his vegetative state still counts but similar to Diavolo, killing him would probably be seen as a direct declaration of war, so they're out. And from a strategic standpoint, Barbatos is the better option to be kept alive simply because of his powers. There most likely also is some kind of sentimental attachment at play here since Solomon is much closer to Barbatos than he is to Lucifer. None of justifies killing Lucifer of course, but we also need to acknowledge that everyone's hands were tied, they were out of time and given the circumstances, this was probably the best decision they could have come to (until Simeon showed up with the Ring of Light, of course)

Solomon betrayed the brothers and keeps hiding behind "wanting to protect humanity" as a scapegoat for his actions

First of no, he did not betray them. Ever since the end of season 2 Solomon has made it clear that his ultimate goal is to protect humanity and that he, similarly to Diavolo in regards to the Devildom and its denizens*, would do anything in his power to protect the human world and its inhabitants [38-15, og; pic in the point above] [38-19, og; pic below]

*friendly reminder that Belphie was charged with treason for planning to destroy the human world, since in Diavolo's eyes that would have severely damaged the chance of peace between the three realms [13-14, og]

Solomon continuously sticks to his beliefs. He said he'd protect humanity, and that's what he's doing. He never extended that kind of protection to the brothers, he never made any false promises, he didn't betray them in any way, nothing

I'd also like to point out he's not actively going out of his way to antagonize demons, or angels, or whatever. In fact, he even explicitly says that he does not wish to make an enemy out of either party [10-A, NB; pic below], which of course also extends to the brothers

You can even outright ask him if he's planning on backstabbing the brothers, and this is what he has to say [11-8, NB; pic below]:

And you know what? That is a valid concern. They can't say for sure what the future holds, and they just recently had to deal with the entire Ring situation that could have very easily destroyed all three realms, so wanting to be cautious and to be prepared for the worst makes sense. He also makes it clear that he does not wish to fight the brothers if it can be avoided, so there's that

And no, he's also not tricking MC into siding against the brothers in Nightbringer. Rather, he just wants to know that they're fighting for humanity should the relationship between humans and demons in general ever turn hostile. He puts the cards open on the table and gives a proper explanation to his reasoning for siding with humanity [11-8, NB], and once again goes a little further into detail before MC gives their answer [14-16, NB; pic below]. Plus it's up to the player if they choose to stand with him or not, and no matter what you choose, he accepts the decision

Also keep in mind that season 3 heavily suggests that the human world at large has no idea that angels and demons even exist, so MC is pretty much the only one he can even ask to help protect humanity alongside him to begin with. He can't just go up to a random guy on the street and ask them to fight something who's existence they aren't even aware of in the first place

Imo Solomon also seems to know more about where things might be heading than he lets on, with him actually knowing Nightbringer and whatnot, so granting himself some peace of mind by making sure he has at least one ally is perfectly reasonable

Also, Solomon is very much aware that he is not infallible. For example, he states that he realized he still has a lot more to learn about demons [60-20, og], and he even admits that he doesn't always know what the right course of action to any given situation is, which was part of the reason he first asked MC to help him with protecting humanity all the way back in season 2 [38-19, og; first pic below]. In season 2 he actually wanted for MC to be aware of what's happening, but it was Diavolo that decided it would be better to keep them in the dark for the time being [36-18, og]. He trusts MC's judgment and that they will help him make the correct decisions [14-16, NB; second pic below]

Solomon tricked Asmodeus into a pact without his consent

Before I get into anything, let's summarize the base situation so everyone's on the same page. This is based on the things Asmo tells us [53-16, og], as well as the things Sol tells us [6-18, NB]:

Asmo was trying to flirt with someone but their friends kept on telling him to leave them alone since he's a demon -> Asmo's dejected by this and goes to a tavern in Solomon's hometown

Solomon notices and feels sorry for him; he offers to talk to him and they chat for a bit

Asmo lets it slip that he's Lucifer's younger brother

they get drunk and end up forming a pact -> Solomon says that he was only able to forge a pact with Asmo because his judgment was impaired at the time

Right of the bat--yes, the way Solomon got his pact with Asmo is not okay. I'm not putting that up for debate. He fully took advantage of Asmo here, and there's nothing that can excuse that. I also want to make it very clear that it is in no way my intention to relativize this in any way. The way he went about getting this pact is, to put it simply, fucked up and I do not wish to condone that in any way. With the following points I simply want to explain how I see things. Maybe it'll put things in a slightly different perspective for you, maybe it won't. Now, I hope I made that clear enough, so let's continue

The way I see it, Asmo seems to be pretty okay with the pact. From the way he acts around Solomon in the present day all the way to him describing his reaction to the pact as just a "did I really sign that" [53-16, og], nothing seems to suggest that he holds any ill feelings towards Solomon, and personally I don't see any reason to be angry for someone who himself seems to take no issue with a situation that is directly about him

If it were as upsetting to Asmodeus as some make it out to be, surely he would have found a way to get out of it? Asmo is one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom; if he truly wanted to break the pact he could have just killed Solomon and that's it. And if the pact itself somehow prevented him from doing so, I'm sure Lucifer would have more than gladly stepped in. Heck, I bet all of the brothers would have made it into a family thing in a heartbeat if Asmo wanted out but couldn't do anything himself. As Thirteen told MC, Solomon is immortal, not unkillable

But speaking of Lucifer, shouldn’t the same sentiment about forcing others into a pact be held toward him, too? Because he basically did the same thing with MC. This is what happens when you tell him you don’t want a pact with him [20-14, og; pic below]:

Yes, this comes down to player choice and yes, you need to make the pact for story continuity, but it ultimately does not change the fact that in-universe he forces MC into a pact if they say no

Also speaking of forcing others into a pact--Mammon and MC, anyone? Yes, MC did it because Levi asked them to so he could get his money back. We know they had no ill intentions. But you never know what the future holds and Levi literally proposed to basically hand over part of Mammon's agency over himself for the money Mammon owns him, to someone Levi has met about 5 minutes prior, knows nothing about and who's only been in the Devildom for a couple of hours at that point, no less. Lucifer also mentions that demons literally cannot resist temptation [4-10, og; pic below], so there literally was no way Mammon could have just noped out of that pact. We all know how badly he wants his credit card back, after all

To top it all of, we have MC's and Mammon's conversation in Nightbringer where Mammon explicitly says that he would only want to forge a pact with someone that is special to him [2-9, NB], and that he'd make sure to be their first pact [2-11, NB], yet he is forced into his pact with MC. A pact that ultimately turns out to be exactly what he wanted, but nonetheless he was stripped of the ability to say no when it was forged

And for the record, I'm not saying "oh, others did it too, so we shouldn't be so harsh on Solomon!!!" No! Forcing a demon into a pact isn't something that should be taken lightly. A pact literally means a demon hands a huge chunk of control of themself over to a human for as long as the pact exists. And on the other hand, for a human, making a pact with a demon usually means selling their soul. Neither party should EVER be forced into it. We of course don't know if MC actually sold their soul to Lucifer when they made their pact, but even if they didn't, Lucifer's "I won't belong to you. You will belong to me" speaks for itself

What I am trying to say here is that if you want to be mad at Solomon for forcing Asmo into a pact without Asmo's consent (which, again, is valid), you should also be mad at MC for forcing Mammon, and Lucifer for forcing MC into a pact

Anyway, back to Solomon now

Solomon actually admits that he used to treat demons like collectables--more or less, at least since he immediately follows the confession up with "just kidding" [14-14, NB]. Judging by what we've seen in the og game though, he seems to genuinely make an effort to better his relationship with the demons he has made a pact with, or at the very least with Asmo and Barbatos. I mean, the difference between Sol's relationship with Barbs in the og game vs in Nightbringer is night and day

In the present time, Asmo and Solomon are also super close. I literally cannot think of a single instance where they did not get along (though it might have happened like once or twice). You can literally pic any part in the og game to see their relationship play out, but some highlights include Solomon saying he got a huge oil painting of Asmodeus as his "permit" to summon Asmo across worlds [39-13, og] (which is not something you would allow someone you hate to do btw) and both of them mentioning that the two of them repeatedly hang out together in the human world [Proud Brothers, devilgram on Asmo's page, og], the hickey on Solomon's neck that's most likely Asmo's doing [Who Left the Hickey?, daily chat with Mammon, og]. Asmo (while drunk) is comfortable enough to tell Solomon that his cooking sucks and Solomon actually takes it to heart [47-16 hard mode, og]. Then there's Asmo's excitement at Solomon being in the Devildom for the first time [Proud Brothers, devilgram on Asmo's page, og; both of the pics below]

There's also that infamous chat pic of them doing face masks together (that I unfortunately don't know which chat it belongs to, so if someone could tell me, I'd appreciate it <3)

I don't know about you guys, but that's not typically an activity I do with someone I despise

So it's clear that current day Asmo holds no malice toward Solomon

Which, finally, leaves us with the way they forged their pact in Nightbringer

[mainly 7-12, NB & 7-15, NB]

@impish-ivy already went over it in this post, especially in the tags (I highly suggest checking out the reblogs as well btw), but to reiterate--Asmo was IN NO WAY forced into that pact. His brothers tried to talk him out of it, but at the end of the day Asmo willingly agreed to it. Yes, they were in a dangerous situation, and yes, Solomon used that as a basis to ask for the pact, but as ivy correctly points out in the tags, Lucifer could have easily handled the situation by himself, yet Asmo agreed regardless. By implying that Asmo was in any way, shape or form forced into that pact you're not only taking away a huge amount of his agency, but you also deny him his character moment and development that came with this scene. Asmo himself says that forging this pact will finally help him accept himself as a demon. Taking this moment from him is doing him a huge disservice

Aaaand that's pretty much all I have to say

If there's anything else you'd like to add, OR if there's anything you don't agree with, feel free to share! And once again, I'd like to remind everyone that civil and constructive discussions are more than welcomed on here!

Anyway, thank you all for reading, hope you have a great day! <3

#can't believe i'm writing something like this about some fictional guys that are loosely based on some other guys from the freaking bible #but here we are i guess #obey me #obey me swd #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #obey me asmodeus #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me mc #;mel's analyses #mel's starry musings

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sharuruwrites · 19 days

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Ambivalence pt. I

Summary:

“He totally stood you up, Ito-chan!” The girl with a braid slammed her hands on the table, rattling the glass of strawberry milkshake. “Also, he's trash!”

“Stood me up?” Shion shrugged. “I think you got the wrong idea. I’m only seeing him as a friend.”

“Don’t be stupid! Don’t defend him! Don’t ever cover for him!” The anger in the latter’s navy blue eyes matched the frown curled on her lips. “He should have given you a heads up earlier! Even a friend wouldn’t do this to you!”

Masterlist

A/n: I'll post up the previous chapter somewhere this week before things get hectic.

Timeline: Gojo - 16 (first two scenes), 17 (last two scenes) Shion - 15 (First two scenes), 16 (last two scenes)

TW: Self-loathing, Unintentional self-harm, Nightmares,

Tags: Spoilers JJK season 2, Hidden Inventory arc spoilers, Angst

—-----

Hair? Not too messy, not too well-kept.

Make-up? Not too much, or too little.

Outfit? Not too simple, or too eye-catching.

After one quick look at the mirror for final touches, Shion left her room with a small spring added to her step. One would assume that she is a young maiden in love, on her way to meet the person who held her affections.

Yet that wasn’t the case.

Today was the day Gojo Satoru, her self-proclaimed “favorite senpai”, would treat her to lunch. After the whole soy sauce fiasco a few weeks ago, the upperclassman searched far and wide for a way to apologize for his mean-spirited prank. Shion was skeptical about Gojo’s offer. She changed her mind seconds later when she saw the mouth-watering pastries from Gojo’s text.

As she exited her dorm, a familiar cheery voice called out her name. Dressed in casual clothes, Haibara greeted Shion with a bright smile. Honestly, if he and Gojo were in the same room, the energy they gave off was enough to power a whole village–except Haibara’s energy would always be wholesome, while the latter’s energy was usually fueled by menace.

"Aren’t you taking your sister to Universal Studios today, Haibara-kun?”

“That was…supposed to be the plan, but I accidentally slept in because of how tiring our assignment was last night.” Haibara rubbed the nape of his neck, already resigned to his sister’s future scoldings. “What about you? You look very nice today, Shion.”

Shion glaring at her classmate before folding her arms, struggling to contain the embarrassment flaring up inside her. “I’m going out.”

"Neat!" Haibara grinned before giving a pat on her shoulder. "With one of our senpais?”

“I guess… you could say that.”

"Are you going on a da-"

"Look at the time," Shion glanced at her imaginary watch. "I don't want to be late for the train."

And, that’s how she ended up waiting half an hour at the cafe with no call or text from Gojo. She would like to think she’s a very patient person, considering the annoyances (Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru) she had to deal with on a daily basis. But this was really testing her patience.

She was already on her third plate of chocolate crepe, and second cup of coffee when her phone beeped three times.

From: Your favorite strongest senpai (⌐■ - ■) ノ

（ｉДｉ） Sorry kouhai-chan! (T - T) Yaga-sensei forced me to go on a mission today! I’ll spoil you rotten to make up for it! (ღゝ◡╹ )ノ♡

“He totally stood you up, Ito-chan!” The girl with a braid slammed her hands on the table, rattling the glass of strawberry milkshake. “Also, he's trash!”

“Stood me up?” Shion shrugged. “I think you got the wrong idea. I’m only seeing him as a friend.”

Now, one might wonder who and how Shion met this spunky girl in front of her. She vaguely remembered that she planned to leave her table, and order pastries for her classmates. Out of nowhere, this girl approached her with an enthusiastic greeting– a greeting akin to welcoming an old friend.

“Sorry, but, may I ask who you are again?” Shion admitted. “I don’t remember names very well upon first meeting.”

“Riko!” The girl beamed, patting herself on the chest. “You can also call me onee-san!”

Big sister? That’s not right. Shion couldn't possibly be younger than her. Judging by Riko’s height and appearance, Riko would most likely be a middle school student. As much as she wanted to correct Riko, she threw the idea out of the window. Who was she to douse the girl's newfound determination? Especially when she felt such sincerity coming from her offer?

Shion nodded reluctantly. "Alright, Riko-neesan."

Riko pinched Shion’s cheeks. The eyepatched girl groaned in pain at the same time that Riko squealed with excitement.

Riko let go of her friend’s cheeks before cupping her own in delight, “I knew it was a good idea to come here.”

“Why?” Shion asked, rubbing her cheeks to numb the pain.

“You’re like a cat abandoned in a cardboard box on a rainy day.” Riko mimed a square shape. “I can’t turn a blind eye to it, knowing I can help the poor kitty.”

Shion blinked a couple of times at Riko. Was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult? Did she look that pathetic and disappointed outside of the cafe?

“Enough about me!” Riko flipped her braided hair to her back. “What about you? Since you consider this no show a ‘friend’, does that mean you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Is anyone trying to date you?”

“Not really.”

“A crush then?”

“Crush?” Shion pinched her brows together. “I saw my teacher crush a watermelon between her thighs once.”

And it had caught the attention of many beach goers, who begged Tsukumo to do it again. Tsukumo refused, warning them that the next demonstration would be with their heads instead–which, in a strange way, only seemed to encourage them further. Although Tsukumo ignored the interested spectators, Shion had a feeling that the attention boosted her teacher’s ego.

Shion startled at Riko's loud laughter, causing some patrons to cast glances at their table.

“Not that kind of crush! I meant a crush as in someone you admired for a while.”

Admired? There was no doubt that she admired Geto Suguru. Aside from his playfulness, which paired well with his best friend’s, Geto was a considerate and handsome gentleman. Their teachers, Watanabe and Yaga, described him as a model student and a model sorcerer. Should she start acting like Geto then? So that way she could get her own recommendation earlier than expected?

Except there was this weird phenomenon she felt around him–nervousness always swelled up inside her when Geto was nearby, and her tongue became all tied up after just a single glance from him.

Amidst all this thinking, another person popped into her mind. — Gojo Satoru.

The thought confounded her.

He was attractive, although to preserve what's left of her quiet life, she wouldn’t admit it till the end of time. But his handsomeness wasn’t something she admired him for. There must be something in Gojo that caused her brain to see him as her ‘crush’.

Yet she still held that Six-Eyes user in a respectable regard whether it be as an individual or as a sorcerer.

The novels she read gave an idea of what kind of character Gojo would be. The loud ones were the ones who were lonely. They yearned for someone to understand them as they’re too different from anyone else. In his case, that person was Geto. She wouldn’t be surprised if those two ended up together in the end, considering they’re already close, matching each other’s personalities, bickering and acting like a married couple.

As for her?

Shion and Gojo walked the same path of solitude but with different starting points, and different end goals. Gojo Satoru was ‘blessed’ into a world he matters, ‘cursing’ people and spirits who dared to oppose him. Meanwhile, Ito Shion was ‘cursed’ into a world with no memories, 'blessing' her free from the threads of her unknown past.

Admiration wasn’t the word she’s looking for. Envious, perhaps.

Then again, those were her measly assumptions. Who was she to make judgment on a guy she met only a few months ago? It’s pathetic that she’s comparing herself–a literal nobody–to someone who had everything.

The eyepatched girl nodded, making Riko squeal in delight. “And, what do you like about this guy? Is he cute? Handsome? Pretty?”

“He’s annoying. Not to mention, he constantly bugs me as if it’s his favorite pastime.” Shion rubbed her temple. “Yet he’s someone I know I can rely on when the need arises.”

The starry-eyed girl’s expression turned sour, like she'd bitten off a good chunk of the sourest lemon and swallowed it down in one go.

“I think he likes you back, Shion.” Riko said, shaking her head. “What he’s doing is acting like a typical snotty nosed brat in elementary school who doesn’t know anything other than how to be mean to their crush.”

“How did you know?” Shion tilted her head to the side. “It happened to you?”

“With this face? How could it not?” Riko gestured to her face. “I have experienced it lots! It’s cute when it’s obvious and all, but you know how boys can be, testing your damn patience until you throw a punch.”

Underneath the table, Shion’s hands formed a fist. Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer, admired her? That seemed hard to believe when there’s nothing admirable about her to begin with. Did he know something about her that she didn’t?

If Gojo Satoru had a connection or a piece of her past, he could either become the stepping stone for her answers or an obstruction to getting them.

She hoped it wouldn't be the latter. ‘Complicated’ was the best word to describe what would happen if she had to put Gojo’s neck on the chopping block. She would hate to clean up the mess that would inevitably come after.

“Enough about crushes,” Riko stood up from her seat,and pumped her fists. “It’s time to hit the arcades and play hard!”

After paying for their meal, Riko dragged Shion to a nearby shopping district. The streets were filled with people in various stages of life. Some were shopping with friends or family, discussing the different outfits and accessories displayed nicely on the plain mannequins. Children admired the coolest or the cutest toys, while begging their parents to buy them. Others were waiting in line for their turn in different food stalls, eager to get their hands on their orders.

However, Riko and Shion had to take a quick detour at a nearby boutique. Upon entering the shop, Riko beelined towards the display rack full of various accessories. Whoever was in charge of stocking the merchandise didn’t do a good job. Shion itched to organize the products to her own liking. Bright and bold patterns placed next to the calm and simple pieces were quite the eyesore for her.

“Can you try and find a headband that will suit me?” Riko asked while browsing through the display. “It got ruined the last time I did laundry…which was also my first time.”

“How about this one?”

Shion picked up a white cotton fabric. She slid it underneath Riko’s hair before tucking it in properly to secure her hair in place.

“What do you think?”

“I see perfection, that’s what!” Riko beamed. “I’ll buy--wait, where are you going, Shion?”

Shion froze on the spot, and slowly turned her head to Riko while her hand was occupied with her wallet.

Shit.

“L-let me pay for it, Riko-neesan!” Shion waved her free hand frantically as Riko’s eyes targeted her wallet. At this moment, she wished she was much taller than Riko. But she wasn’t, and so couldn’t keep her wallet out of reach. Once Riko saw her student ID, Shion had no idea what would come next. Chaos and disorder ensured.

“Oh no you don’t!” Riko grabbed onto Shion’s wallet, attempting to pull it away from her. “I’m not going to let you pay for it!”

In the midst of the struggle, Shion restrained herself from using her full strength, scared that she might hurt Riko in the process. Reluctantly, she loosened the grip and watched Riko’s smug expression turn into something different. Riko’s eyes widened and her attention went back and forth between her new friend, and the plastic white card that clearly listed Shion’s birthday.

“Y-You’re older than me!?” she said, horrified at the shocking revelation.”How come you didn’t tell me?!”

“Well,” Shion put her wallet away into her bag after whisking it away from Riko’s hands. “You told me to call you onee-san earlier and-”

“You tricked me like a clown!”

Shion scratched her cheek with her finger before she clasped her hands together. “Then…could you tell me how I can exactly make up for it?”

As if she flipped a switch, Riko’s expression lightened up. “Well, since you asked so nicely, I’ll forgive you this time…Only if you defeat me in Mario Kart! I’m warning you that I’m best at it! Never lost once!”

Unfortunately for Riko, Tsukumo’s intense training had instilled a competitive spirit in Shion. The eyepatched girl dominated all three cups in 150 CC–crushing Riko’s soul while at the same time earning her forgiveness and respect. Riko’s dramatic loss attracted a group of boys who challenged Shion in exchange for their hard earned tickets. One by one, they dropped like flies after every track as Shion won first place in all of the races.

Amongst the defeated wails of high school and middle school boys, Shion and Riko pursue other endeavors in the arcade. They sang their hearts out (mostly Riko) in karaoke, danced like nobody’s business in DDR, and took lots of pictures in the photo booth. Riko used the tablet inside to decorate each picture with artistic doodles before printing them. Yet, they had to part ways under the dusky orange sky, which also happened to be the busiest time of the day for train passengers. Whether it be entering the carriage, or waiting for their train to arrive, they all had a goal in mind -- to go home.

“Thanks to your winnings, I managed to get everything I want before I go!” Riko lifted her paper bags full of prizes and plushies in glee.

“Before you go?” Shion questioned.

“Oh, um…” Riko dropped her shoulders in defeat before sighing and facing Shion with downcast eyes. “I’m…actually moving away from…Tokyo, to somewhere far from my friends. I don’t want to, but what choice do I have, when everyone says that it’s the best choice for me?”

Shion was stumped by Riko's line of questions. Yet what Riko felt–anxiety and fear of uncertainty–was something that Shion unfortunately knew. Tsukumo had enrolled Shion in Jujutsu Tech without the girl’s knowledge. Shion had protested and stubbornly refused to admit that she was scared, because she had only known the world through Tsukumo’s guidance. After all, Tsukumo was there from the moment Shion woke from her coma.

Yet after hearing Tsukumo's words, Shion became reluctantly open to the idea of attending, and that reluctance eventually turned into gratitude for her teacher's push.

Despite the constant ugliness of the cursed world, Tsukumo Yuki pried open a door for her to experience and appreciate the smallest things in life.

“Sorry,” Riko scratched the back of her head while wearing a restrained smile. " I shouldn’t dump this onto someone I just befriend-”

"It's scary right?" Shion gently took Riko's free hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "My teacher told me it's alright to be scared and anxious when you’re doing something outside of your comfort zone. Tell them what you're feeling, and even if they don't get it, the heaviness in your chest will no longer be there, right?"

Shion watched Riko's eyes become glassy with unshed tears before letting out a shaky laugh and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan. Not too long, she pulled Shion into a tight hug.

"Thank you," Riko said, her voice muffled by Shion's shirt. "I'm glad I got to know you, Shion."

Shion returned the hug awkwardly with pats on Riko's back. Man, she really needed to get used to affections such as this.

"Shion," Riko called. She pulled back and showed her smiling face with teary eyes. I know it's not fair to ask you this, but let's meet again, alright?"

Something twisted horribly in Shion's guts. A tinge of foreboding. The possibility of never meeting her again.

Shion took a deep breath before giving Riko a smile.

"Of course. Let’s meet again, Riko-chan.”

—---------------------------

“W-why?” she croaked.

Shion never got an answer to this question. Instead, a sharp breath escaped from Shion’s lips as something pierced in her abdomen and twisted, eliciting a yelp that cut through the silent winter night. As the knife pulled out, a warm and metallic-smelling liquid spilled from the wound.

Her vision was getting blurry, her body grew heavier, and her hand became colder as the red pool beneath her grew bigger.

A sharp tip pressed against her neck, and the familiar bright emerald eyes above her had turned lifeless and filled with contained anger, ready to burst at any moment.

"To understand you, I need to have the same sorrow as you have… no… perhaps even worse than that." The voice was monotonous and cold. The sharp tip dug deeper into her neck. “Die for your sake, Shion.”

Shion gasped loudly, waking herself up in a panic. Her ragged breaths came fast as her hands gripped firmly around her neck. Gradually, her fingers tightened their grasp.

In these moments, she remembered her mentor’s calming presence.

‘Focus on my breathing, Shion.'

The heavy feeling in her chest eventually ebbed away as she continuously repeated the breathing exercise that her teacher taught her. Lips closed as she inhaled slowly through her nose, followed by a long exhale out of her mouth.

When she could no longer hear Tsukumo's voice echoing inside her head, she let go of her throat and sat up. With one last deep breath, she let out the rest of her stress. She wiped off the cold sweat off her forehead with her palms and looked around.

The digital clock on her bedside read 12:45 am. She was still wearing her uniform. Was she that tired from today's mission? No, no she wasn't so exhausted that she’d fallen asleep in her clothes. Typically, she would skip a meal in favor of more rest. Yet she remembered Watanabe scolding Haibara for nearly burning the kitchen down…so she must have had enough energy to stop by the kitchen earlier.

Pushing her thoughts aside, she made her way to the bathroom, hoping a quick splash of cold water would dispel the existing discomfort in her body.

Turning on the light, she saw her own appearance reflected in the mirror. Bed mess hair, dark crescents under her eyes, and the fresh bruises on her neck must be during the nightmare. It felt weird to see herself without the eyepatch. She wore it nearly 24/7 with the exception of going to sleep and taking a bath. She had no qualms when Tsukumo heavily suggested that she conceal her right eye, and Shion had assumed it was for her own sake.

Yet seeing it had no effect on her wellbeing, why did she have it in the first place?

As if responding to her own curiosity, Shion watched as the color of her eyes flickered between gold and blue until a sudden sharp pain tore through her skull. She clutched her head in response, steadying herself on the edge of the sink. The plain and simple bathroom was now covered with dark, crooked black lines. Red and blue vein-like lines spread across her entire body.

Once the pain subsided, Shion looked at the mirror once more. Her eye color went back to its normal shade of amber, and a bloody streak fell from her tear ducts, staining her cheeks. Shion clicked her tongue before splashing her face with cold water. She reached for the towel to dry her face and then opened the medicine cabinet to reach for her prescription.

With a pop, she opened the container and peeked in to find only a few sleeping pills left sitting at the bottom. She frowned at the sudden small amount. Not even three weeks had passed by, and she was already running low on her supply.

"Looks like I have to ask Watanabe-sensei for a refill again," Shion muttered, putting her sleeping pills back into the cabinet. Then she went back to sit down on the edge of her bed.

Before she had entered the student life, the nightmares were nothing but a common occurrence. Typically, she brushed them off with a nice cup of chamomile tea, lulling herself back to sleep. However, the dreams had integrated themselves into her life recently, with a frightening amount of ease. Her fatigue had gotten so bad that Watanabe personally intervened and prescribed her with medication to combat her sudden aversion to sleep.

It didn’t even help that the person in her dream changed occasionally. Most of the time, it was that person with green eyes, always staring at her with contempt. Once or twice she’d seen Geto’s purple eyes filled with yearning, or Nanami’s silent yet contemptuous gaze. It caught her off guard once when–in a dream– her eyes met Haibara’s and she saw the kind boy who never seemed to hold a grudge looking down at her with a disinterested expression.

Riko sometimes appeared, but her eyes were different; unlike the others. Her eyes were full of sorrow, as if she wanted more from her life than her fate as the Star Plasma vessel.

Upon seeing Gojo carrying Riko’s corpse, time stood still for so long that Shion believed it was frozen. Cursing Fate itself wouldn’t do anything to bring back her friend from death. In a twisted way, Fate had honored their promise to meet again. But instead of smiles and shared laughter, their reunion had ended with Riko’s lifeless body in the wooden casket, and Shion’s carefully crafted apathy during the funeral. She didn’t need the unnecessary attention from those who already harbored deep suspicions of her.

Yet because of her perceived ambivalence, rumors brewed amongst the attendees.

‘Heartless child.’ ‘Traitor.’ The constant name calling nearly made her lose her shit. Shion was a nobody; as far as they knew, she had no connection to Riko. What kind of reaction were they hoping for? Should she wail on her knees for someone that everyone assumed she hadn’t known? Look remorseful for a crime that they suspected she had committed? Act belligerent by giving them all a false confession, bragging about how she had doomed them all with the vessel’s death, confirming that they were right to distrust her?

Those baseless accusations made Shion sick in disgust. Despite the warnings from her teachers telling her not to go, she went anyway, foolishly believing she could handle the suffocating animosity in the funeral. For an event to remember the dead, it felt like everyone except for the Tokyo faculty staff and her classmates were playing the blame game and all pointing at her.

In spite of the fact that she was about to leave the funeral early and return to her room, Gojo Satoru whisked her away from the memorial to a nearby park. An unexpected diversion, but she welcomed it, and for once, she was grateful for his presence.

Two cold bottles of Ramune shared between them while staring at the orange-kissed sky. No words exchanged, only silence with the occasional background noises. Children laughing as they were called home for dinner, the wind rustling through the trees.

What Gojo did was nice; he gave her a little slice of life, and tricked her into believing that Cursed Spirits, Sorcerers, and Techniques didn’t exist in the first place.

She felt a few moments of peace, all thanks to that one guy who tormented her constantly, for no apparent reason.

A pointless thought. Whatever version Gojo painted of herself in his mind, he better scrap it and dump it in the trash. She would repeat this many times as she needed to, like a broken record. There’s nothing admirable about a nobody like her; nothing to desire, nothing to be envious of.

However, she hadn’t considered another possibility. What if Gojo was drawn to her for who she actually was? What if there was something about her for him to like?

All this thinking made Shion tired, and her brain begged for her to close her eyes and sleep. Yet a single thought formed as her eyelids grew heavy. She slowly drifted off into slumber.

‘It’s…weird…but…nice… ’

—--------------------------------------

Life truly goes on regardless of who dies and who lives. No pause or stop button to press. But instead of stopping or even slowing, Shion felt her own life accelerating as one tragedy struck after another. The only thing she could do was to try and keep herself afloat against the raging rivers of time.

But then something unexpected happened: Shion was assigned to a mission with Gojo for the first time. It made life for her bearable.

“You can fucking tease me all you want after this.” Shion harshly whispered, tightening her hold around his shoulders. “Just let me hold you, dammit. It’s unfair you were there for me when no one came for you.”

Ever since that day, Gojo slowly integrated himself further into her life, whenever he had the time. He was–and still is–the annoying menace she knew. He still pulled pranks that made her cuss him out, and there was plenty of childish banter between them. Yet from time to time, they basked together in each other’s company whether it be in silence or Gojo talking enough for the two of them, and Shion chiming in with occasional answers.

It was unexpected, but she didn’t mind the gradual change–and funnily enough–she looked forward to his presence more. A little bit of happiness appeared in her whenever he came by or smiled at her direction.

He reminded her of an energetic puppy. Adorable.

Speaking of Gojo Satoru…for once, she found herself wishing that Gojo was next to her right now in the library. Shion stared at the book taunting her from the top of the shelf, just out of reach. She rolled her neck and then her shoulders, tired from trying to reach it. She did everything she could–jumping, tiptoeing, and shaking the furniture itself.

Scaling the wooden bookshelf was a stupid idea. Still, desperate times called for desperate measures.

On the small ledge of the bookshelf, Shion stepped on it as carefully as possible, balancing her weight while holding on to the edges. As she slowly made her way to the book, she could hear the wood creak. It was as if the bookshelf was warning her to stop what she was doing.

She ignored the warnings and extended her hand as far as possible. Her fingertips almost touched the spine of the book, but just barely. She had almost reached her goal–

The bookshelf groaned and began to topple. In an attempt to stabilize the furniture, Shion shifted her weight forward but her fingers slipped, and she lost her balance. She closed her eyes and braced for the hard impact of her fall. Instead of the hard wooden floor she anticipated, she felt the firm and solid arms of a person whose warmth was familiar to her.

She opened her eyes and saw Geto staring back at her. His soft yet concerned gaze truly left her feeling small and vulnerable.

"Suguru-senpai?" Shion blinked.

"Are you okay?" Geto asked, his eyes scanning her face. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm not." She looked away. The intensity of his eyes made her feel weird–like there was an intangible, messy knot in her stomach. She wiggled out of his arms and fixed her uniform.

"I knew you could be reckless, but I didn't think you would risk your life for a book," Geto teased. He pulled the book that Shion had been reaching for and gave it to her.

Shion muttered a small thanks as Geto chuckled softly and ruffled her hair.

"So, what is it about?" Geto leaned over her shoulder, scanning the cover of the book in her hands.

"It's about curses, and Tsukumo-san recommended it to me," she replied. "That reminds me… What do cursed spirits taste like, senpai? That's how you gain control of them, right? By swallowing them?"

"Yep." Geto pulled back and nodded. "The taste? You're better off not knowing... I'd rather not worry you."

'Poor Suguru-san.' Shion thought.

As took a good look at him, her heart clenched. The soft light coming from the sun by the windows shone on his dull complexion. Exhaustion was evident, and weight loss was evident from his slightly sunken cheeks. There were dark circles under his eyes. His usually styled hair was down and disheveled, and the last time she'd seen him in this state was a few months ago.

‘He's stressed out again.’

“Are you getting enough sleep, senpai?” Shion cupped his cheek, but immediately tried to retract it. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It's just from the summer heat.” Geto put his hand on Shion’s, keeping it in place on his cheek.

“Still,” Shion breathed, distracting herself from the sudden butterflies in her stomach. “You should look after yourself more, Suguru.”

The boy’s cheeks dusted with a reddish hue as she brushed her thumb against his skin. Oh, crap! She hadn’t meant to call him by his given name! She hoped his reaction wasn’t out of anger at the sudden informality.

Geto hummed in response and leaned further into the palm of her hand, his lips dangerously close to it. “Also, don’t be sorry. I don’t mind this if it’s you…”

They froze, suddenly finding themselves caught up in the moment. A loud cough from the librarian snapped them out of their trace, and Shion removed her hand on Geto's face. They both glanced at the old woman, and the latter's cold and judgemental stare had them feeling embarrassed and guilty for getting caught.

"PDA? In the school’s library?" The librarian crossed her arms, shaking her head. "You youngsters have no shame."

—----------------------------

"Thanks for letting me sleep here, and sorry for the trouble, Iori-san.” Shion said, plopping down on the spare futon. “I'm not comfortable with staying at the Zen’in’s family compound for the duration of my mission here in Kyoto.”

“Don’t be sorry, I too get disgusted at seeing Zen’in.” Utahime gave her a thumbs up. “Besides, I’m pretty sure a special Four Eyes will throw a fit when he finds out I let it happen.”

‘She sure is getting creative with her nicknames for Gojo-senpai.’

Shion’s fascination was soon replaced with curiosity. Were Gojo Satoru and Zen’in Naoya on bad terms? As far as she remembered from Tsukumo’s history lessons, their family clans held such bad blood between them that past clan leaders had resorted to killing each other. The current heirs mostly tolerated each other– except for the time when Gojo dropped by for a quick visit during one of Shion’s training sessions with Nanami and Naoya.

“Something on your mind, Zen’in?” Shion asked, wiping her sweat away with a towel. “You’re quiet for once.”

“It’s for the best,” Nanami remarked. “My headaches have lessened because of it.”

“Don’t mind him, Shion-chan.” Gojo said. “He’s going to say something stupid as usual.”

“If we end up against each other in this year’s solo match and I win,” Naoya stood up from his seat. “I’ll take you as my bride whether you like it or not.”

Nanami and Gojo held two different expressions. The blonde sorcerer tried not to show his annoyance towards Naoya. At most, he rolled his eyes as he quietly drank his ice cold water. Meanwhile, Gojo didn’t bother to hide his dislike. The repulsiveness of Naoya’s words was written all over Gojo’s scrunched up face.

As for Shion, another idea popped into her head.

Before the school exchange event, Naoya kept visiting Shion at school each week and asking for her hand in marriage whenever they sparred. Of course, she declined his proposals as she considered herself to be too young to be engaged and she only saw Naoya as an acquaintance. He insisted her feelings would change, but marriage–with Naoya or anyone– seemed to be impossible for Shion to imagine.

Then again, Tsukumo had often told Shion that a jujutsu sorcerer must have loose screws in their head in order to do this work. Maybe this was Naoya’s own strange way of asking to be friends with her? Or perhaps rivals? The second choice seemed to be more believable with his competitive spirit.

Her teacher did say that competition breeds competence. Afterall, his advances had proved to be useful as she found a big improvement in her reaction time.

"Alright,” Shion pumped her fist with determination, looking stoically at her ‘rival’. “I’ll be looking forward to this year then!”

“WHAT?!?”

That day, Shion nearly went deaf from Gojo’s loud reaction. At Nanami’s behest, Shion was sent to Watanabe’s office for a quick check up. Nanami thought she had a head injury, which didn’t make sense because Shion was completely fine – no concussion, broken bones or bruises; not even a fever. If anybody needed medical attention, it would be Naoya–who suddenly looked very distressed, his face red coloured, similar to a tomato.

“Speaking of that blue eyed brat,” Utahime glanced at Shion. “Are you up for a gossip session? I won’t talk your ear too much as you have an early day with Zen’in tomorrow.”

Utahime cracked open a can of beer and poured a cup of apple juice for Shion while the latter pulled out a variety of snacks from her bag. Immediately, the sorceress launched into a series of rants as they munched in between conversations. It ranged from Gojo’s harmless little pranks to headache-inducing moments so painful that Shion was surprised that painkillers still worked on her.

‘Despite the constant bickering, Utahime-san and Gojo-senpai got along so well...’

The eyepatched girl pinched her brows together. She didn't realize her hands clenched at the thought. Why did that make her uncomfortable? It’s not like she had something worthwhile. Utahime was one of the few sorceresses that Shion got along with. But Gojo? Shion liked to believe that they’d moved past being acquaintances, and sailed towards friendship. But the thought of Gojo also befriending Utahime made her feel strange, to say the least. How come she never got this feeling when she saw him with Shoko?

Could this feeling still be called envy? Or something else?

“Seriously, what do you even see in that boy?” Utahime scoffed, lazily swirling her can of beer. “He’s annoying, obnoxious, loud, and has bad manners.”

“In him? I don’t see his internal organs, senpai.”

Utahime stared dumbfoundedly at her friend. If Gojo ended up with an innocent person like Shion, she couldn’t help but worry for the latter’s sake. She had to do something before that annoying clown charmed Shion into becoming his wife--just like that asshole Naoya had nearly pressured her into marrying him.

Besides, she had to win the bet against Mei Mei. The betting pool on Shion’s relationship grew bigger and bigger each week. It came to an absurd amount that it matched the annual salary of a second grade sorcerer, and even Mei mei and Alex had joined in this affair. At least, that was what she caught wind of during a conversation between Gakuganji and Watanabe. It seemed like everyone was speculating about Shion’s love life.

Utahime, suddenly overcome with empathy, pulled Shion into an embrace.

"And that is why you should avoid boys like Gojo! They will take advantage of your naivety!" Utahime pulled away from the hug, hands still on the latter's shoulders. "Instead, why not go for Geto? At least he’s tolerable, unlike his best friend! And he certainly seems fond of you… You have a crush on him, which means you want him to be your boyfriend, right?"

“Boyfriend?”

Despite the sunny weather and the distance between Kyoto and Tokyo, Utahime felt the first blow of cold winter from Gojo’s glare. Strange, that guy wasn’t even here in the first place.

Meanwhile, Riko’s words resurfaced in Shion’s mind. Was that what Riko meant when she asked Shion if she had a crush? Not just admiring someone, but seeing them as more than friends?

According to her romance novels, becoming ‘more than friends’ meant the two parties ended up entering an exclusive relationship if the condition of mutual feelings was met. A relationship where showing affections such as kissing, endearing nicknames, and hand-holding were the standard. A relationship that puts heavy emphasis on intimacy and vulnerability towards each other.

DOES THAT MEAN?!

…

Shion leaned her head against Suguru's shoulder. “I don’t understand you, Suguru-senpai.”

“What do you mean, Shion?” Geto asked, shifting his position to have his arm draped over Shion’s shoulders and pulling her closer to him.

“W-well,” Shion cleared her throat, diffident at Geto’s sudden close proximity to her. “I don’t understand what you see in me. I’m not mature like Mei-san or pretty like Ieiri-senpai or cute like Iori-san. Not only my appearance, but my personality is not really ideal-”

Her downplayed ramblings halted when she felt something briefly warm and soft on her cheek. She held her breath nervously before concealed her reaction into her boyfriend’s broad chest.

"But, I’m still here, aren’t I?" Geto laughed at his girlfriend's shyness when he caught a glimpse of the tips of her ears red. "Sorry, too soon for me to kiss you?"

Shion’s brain was all too eager to fantasize about this possibility–which meant Utahime was probably right.

Upon this realization, Shion slammed her head on the wooden table and buried her face onto her arms before producing a banshee-like screech from her throat that forced Utahime to cover her ears.

“S-Shion?!”

“I-is that what it's supposed to mean to l-like someone?!” Shion stuttered nervously, the redness on her face couldn’t go any brighter than a ripened tomato. "T-that I-I l- like Su-Suguru-senpai!?”

The eyepatched girl buried her reddened face deeper into her arms and groaned loudly. Everything she felt about that boy clicked in her head. The sudden clamminess of her hands whenever he's in the same room. The sudden acceleration of her temperature whenever he noticed her from a distance. And, the sudden happiness blooming inside her whenever he noticed her.

MADE

MUCH

DAMN

SENSE

This newfound information overwhelmed her. It didn’t help that her heart had begun to beat faster than normal, and her head spun while seeing stars. Wait, was she going to have a full on cardiac arrest if this keeps up?

Meanwhile, a boatload of dumbfoundedness struck Utahime. It was not in her agenda to witness Shion panicking from a sudden existential crisis. Unlike Shoko, whom Utahime had known for two years, Shion was someone she had acquainted herself with not too long ago. Due to her busy work schedule, Utahime never had the proper chance to get to know Shion. She never held much of a strong opinion towards the girl or her for to expect Shion’s current state.

Whenever Utahime visited the Tokyo campus, she always found the girl within the shadows, content to watch from the sidelines, and yet willing to lend an ear if given the time. Because of Shion’s no-nonsense and straightforward outlook, Utahime unintentionally claimed her as her therapist for her mundane problems. To compensate for Shion’s ‘unintentional therapeutic services’, she always brought sweets and snacks from Kyoto.

Yet seeing how Shion had grown out of her stoic persona and bloomed into a shy flower, Utahime understood why a pair of mean, annoying idiots had taken special interest in her.

Because of the said interest, her maternal instincts kicked in.

This time, it was Utahime’s turn to comfort Shion. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of having a crush on someone,” Utahime said, giving her a few pats on the back.

“How can I not?!” Shion squeezed her eyes shut. “Especially after what happened in the library recently…”

Utahime leaned forward intently. “Tell me more.”

#jjk fanfic #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo angst #jjk x reader #jjk oc #jjk oc x canon #jjk geto #geto suguru x oc #geto x reader

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jam-packed · 23 days

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i saw someone post abt the netflix show kaos (which is good u should watch it) and during my watch, i did subject my friend to who (in motogp) would best fit the characters in the show.

spoilers cus im gonna explain them within context and talk about the ending and my prayers for a season 2 :( and 3 actually but thats it.

going to separate this in groups of confident to 🤨🤨🤨 yk. anyways.

Set In Stone (to me):

zeus - TOTALLYYYY vale. eccentric bastards, but very entertaining, very likable in the beginning despite their wrongdoings. i feel like in a different world, vale would be wearing tracksuits around his big ass mansion but a guy has to find joy in dressing like a 15 yo boy so props ig (speaking of, i LOVEEE the wardrobe of this show. muy muy bueno to me.....) both have such an intense paranoia on how others receive them and their eternal impact on the world. its all about aging and their race to defy it, but they cant and that comes to be their downfall. regardless, theyre both crazy powerful and crazy in general they are like. the same guy.

poseidon - jorge lorenzo. in some inherent way. poseidon is jorge to me. theres the (for lack of a better term) jealously that poseidon has for zeus (in terms of hera) that jorge has w vale when it comes to personability/marketability. that, and the way poseidon acts is very jorge to me as well. the way he stands like hes in drag race. anyways, theres a nonchalance to poseidon's character and how he interacts with humans that makes me think, "yeah if jorge had this much power, he would act in this way."

hear me out here. hera - dani. not just because hera and poseidon are having an affair, mind you. but yes also mostly that. because im not knowledgeable about dani uh at all im going to base this on how ive seen him ride in the past. dani, to me, is an incredibly strong rider, hes very determined and sound in his efforts. but theres always someone stronger. and while that doesnt inherently mean he is fearful of them, i feel like within the context of the show, hed probably act in the same ways hera does despite how highly she considers herself. hera's a cunt in this and tbh dani is cunt to me with that crazy power i think hed be similar. also im not saying that dani sucks as a rider, its just. the vale/casey/jorge/marc of it all 😕 bad timing

prometheus - casey fuckin stoner, man. were casey and vale ever friends? idk im sure at points. they follow each other on instagram and casey loves to hate so idk. regardless, casey would be totally on board to help a cosmic plan to take down vale, would he kill his wife for it? real vale, no, zeus vale, its reaching towards the table. prometheus and stoner dont have the same humor, but theyre smart, they know how to act. even if casey isnt one for media, he can beat vale on a bike (ducatis on the straights omgggg). and prometheus and zeus are this weird battle of wits and intelligence. im not saying vale is stupid, im saying that he is blind to his insecurities and that can harm him in the same way it hurts zeus in this series.

marc has to have his own segment cus i could make arguments for 4 different characters. walk with me:

riddy/eurydice - stubborn, headstrong, cunt(y), defined moral code. riddy is such an interesting person within this show and i think marc is very similar to her in some respects. one of the main downsides though is the lack of codependency she has with literally anyone. shes not close to a lot of people, shes kinda isolated (from what i interpret, and idk if thats the fault of orpheus but for the sake of ease, lets say riddy does it herself), but she can connect with people easily. marc doesnt really do that. one, no álex, thats never gonna happen; two, he has a hard time being alone, their upbringings are incredibly different, which may have a major part to play in all of that, and that would kinda change who marc is (duh)---if he were alone all his life rather than surrounded by his closest friends and family, as he is now. so, if you want like. bezquez with a sour note, then yeah go marc eurydice, but idk its not my favorite. maybe luca or pecco (pecco is NOT riddy do not listen to me!!!!)

ari/ariadne - the brotherisms go crazy. very similar to riddy in that she is incredibly headstrong. she is not stubborn she is filled with guilt for something she didnt do my sweet lovely little pookiebear i should not be saying that whatever. so, ari's brother is the minotaur (shocker) and i think itd be interesting to explore marc's love for álex despite not knowing he's alive for YEARS (30 fucking years bro free my girl 😭😭😭). regardless, they are both smart, sympathetic to others, and get shit done when it needs to be. i think they match up as people pretty well, but we once again run into the issue of isolation and relationships throughout upbringing. ari does have some very close relationships as we see in the show (for a few episodes and then never again. ok.) like her father and her bodyguard. is that enough? idk maybe. makes me think abt santi........who will come up later actually. all to say, i think theyd make similar decisions to each other, i think marc if put in this story would be ari to an s (close enough, is my joke). anyways, marc is a good ari if you want a calm, semi-levelheaded marc (who kills someone) who will very likely end up with dionysus. but off the dome idk who dionysus could be. hm.

dionysus - he was my favorite in the show im sorry i want my faves to be each other. dionysus is such a character, hes so guy, i need him to get his cat back. ok, so dionysus is the son of zeus and he wants more responsibility/power---upsettingly, because of how marc is as a rider, i think this is why he ISNT dionysus. dionysus is a character that has to grow into himself (by learning about love ❤️) by killing his dad. haha i joke. but cmon. anyways in the context of dionysus's original goal, ehhhh not marc. but dionysus has this (again for lack of a better term) eccentricity that reminds me of marc. they have larger than life qualities but theyre quite mellow outside of that, they want people to be happy, they want love to prevail, if dennis was shiva he would do the exact same things dionysus does with that cat (carry it everywhere). theres a distance dionysus has with humanity that he loses over the course of the series, and i think thats interesting in marc's case cus once again NOT MARC!!! marc, from accounts that arent him (livio suppo is the only name in my mind rn) say that marc is very like. stable. hes a good kid, he doesnt let fame get to him (or at least how he treats others cus wtf is his house), and dionysus's arc is about connecting w humanity and i dont think marc would really have that problem. yes this was a waste of time yes it was just me convincing myself marc cannot logically be dionysus. this is my post man lemme do what i want :(

persephone - a lot of girls here. wonder what that says about how i view marc. womp womp idgaf. so, persephone is queen of the underworld, wife to hades. she LOVES hades and if we're thinking about old men and the young(ish) people that love them. santi. dovi. persephone is not one to lay down and take it, but hades is so gives me smth to play w in terms of who im going to make not a (I HAVE NO BETTER TERMS) pussy. persephone also loves love, she wants to help the gods because she wants to help her husband but she knows that isnt possible with what the gods (ZEUS COUGH COUGH) are asking them to do, so she defies them, she lies to them, she cares for her husband, she feels sympathy for dionysus and helps him to realize zeus is a lying bastard cunt. with great hair. marc to me. again, like ari, he seems the guy to put his money where his mouth he, he WILL do whats best for people cus he knows they deserve it, he wants to help, he will repay kindness, he doesnt forget (dionysus argument actually. repaying kindness this but i digress).

ares - ares literally isnt in the show yet. he got a technical mention in the last moments of the last episode but like idk......based on my knowledge of motogp and greek mythology and also his name is marc i think itd be cool.........put my man in the show give him a sword let him go ham let him kill god vale pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pl

marc my beautiful enigma u cannot be placed. except i think ari is your best bet at accuracy. especially if we're talking human strength and determination, ari n marc brother.

semi confident but could consider others

orpheus - marco bezzecchi. in my heart of hearts, as much as i love bez, he would probably act like orpheus. omggg hes so in love, he WOULD journey to the underworld but also hes a little evil hes a cunt hes a bastard hes cringefail but hes winning. except not really at all. orpheus has this tendency to. self-pity is my best assumption at a word. very whiny man. to me. cus i didnt really feel bad for him throughout the show. anyways, bez does have that intense loyalty that orpheus has, i do think he would do what orpheus does. bez is also kinda a cunt sometimes and i think he would say and do the twat things that orpheus does as well. the hardest part abt bezpheus is like. whos gonna fall out of love with him. you got a lot of options but they all kinda dont make sense yk? pecco just doesnt make sense w the character, cele does make sense he just probably wouldnt fall out of love or be in love in the first place, luca is also an option. luca marini my cringefail bestfriend who is famous and good at sports and doesnt know me, actually yea its luca. honda move, its luca.

riddy (again) - luca. it needs its own section ok i feel like i need to explain myself. luca, currently, looks like he wants to explode and die, he wants out of his fuckass brother's shadow (i dont hate vale im just full of vitriol) and if we transfer those feelings to loveless marriage, do we see how being hit by a truck and shipped off to the underworld and choosing to go to honda (I LIKE HONDA OK IM SORRY) are similar. did riddy choose to die? no its fate she doesnt really have a choice, but grand scheme of things did luca have a choice? idk, talk it up with a philosopher. im a math major, i could care less (lying).

caeneus (i think?) - álex. i think they look similar. i see caeneus and i go omg its álex márquez 2 time world champ in motorsports brother of marc márquez. also theres this weird like almost timidness that caeneus has that i feel is very similar to how álex acts and talks. hes kinda, and this is going to sound so mean to álex, average. however, he is meant for something more, he is more than the surface level by a long shot. and i think thats true for álex as well. caeneus is also very truthful, hes going to get mad at you, if he doesnt wanna tell you shit he wont but hes not gonna walk around it idly, and álex is a marc lie detector so. theres that. again, some downsides, no codependency brothers wth. anyways luca álex ship name. lucquez. aluca. lucalex. rosquez 2 less evil edition. this is so hard cus of fuckin marc bro free me.

not super confident but sure id consider it

dionysus - pecco. vale son, the favorite at some moments, biffs it at others. i dont think pecco has a problem with loving others in the way that dionysus does (aro dionysus slay) but i think theres mentalities that they both have (given by their respective parental figures) that hinder them in similar ways. pecco does not have dionysus's early personality. pecco is very calm, very controlled, (very mindful very demure) but he can also fight with someone after they crash into him, hes not gonna take everything lightly. idk if hes quick to forgive, nor do i know if hes privy to stew in his feelings. one of the primary relationships (thats explored in the show) dionysus has is with zeus. he visits zeus (the only child to do so), he gives zeus gifts (that get rejected), he steals from him (lmao), he defies him (yayy), he gets punished for defying him (NOO FUCK). turbo as dennis ough the thought brings me anguish. anyways, i think with dionysus being a sort of foil to zeus it works with pecco being a foil to vale. evil vale would say flopnaia is a disappointment tho. anyways, if flopnaia were dionysus, hed probably be feeling and doing and saying the same things as d is in the show. would he be as sexually promiscuous? probably not so yk. confidence low. but woah omg very likely marcnaia what a trip.

i dont wanna write an explanation cus this is getting too long but bez could also be considered for dionysus. literally any vr46 boy could lbr.

and tbh anyone else in the cast would confuse the shit outta me i dont know enough people in motogp in that way. i barely know the ones im talking about 😭😭😭 anyways pls diregard everything i said because it makes no sense to try to put people in the correct slots of other media, just write based on the person, not the character you want to portray, thats what makes them interesting, its what allows for different stories and outcomes. all to say i did this for nothing ❤️

#motogp #kaos #im clinically insane #i did not need to do this at all jfc #it took me like 2 hours to think abt and write all of this free me from the hell that is my brain

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twdmusicboxmystery · 1 year

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https://www.ign.com/articles/the-walking-dead-daryl-dixon-season-1-review-norman-reedus

Do you think this makes it sound doubtful that beth will return? This is the first 6 episodes review

Okay, so I've read about 10 of these review articles over the past day or two. I get that it doesn't say we'll see Beth, but I actually think it sounds VERY promising. A lot of what me and my fellow theorists have been saying for a long time now is already being confirmed.

I'm going to combine several Asks into one post so I can gather all my thoughts in one area. I'll also insert some of the articles in case you want to read them yourself. Just keep in mind that they do have a lot of spoilers.

If you read across all the articles out there, some of them clearly are loving the Daryl spinoff, while others are much more negative and hate it. (Most of them seem to harbor negative feelings toward Norman and TWD in general, so I wouldn't take their words too seriously.) But you start to notice similarities between the articles. Most of them talk about the same things in the series, and we start to get a lot of hints toward what we'll see.

It's true that they don't mention Beth and some go out of their way to say that there are no other familiar faces from TWD. But keep in mind a couple of things about that:

1) I think that's aimed toward the Carylers. They're so sure we're going to see Carol at some point, and to me, it doesn't sound like we will. Or, if we do, it will be at such a last possible secondn to kick us into season 2, that her presence will have absolutely no effect on season 1.

2) Several of the reviewers have said that AMC swore them to secrecy when it comes to episodes 5 and 6. So, they've said some general stuff about how amazing episode 5 is gonna be, but overall, they can't say anything about what they saw in those episodes. So even if someone big showed up (Carol, Beth, Rick, Shane, lol) they wouldn't be able to say.

And I think it's SUPER significant that AMC would swear them to secrecy about those episodes. When the show literally leaked Troy's return 15 minutes after the FTWD Coda with the "mysterious" person, why would they demand that those receiving the screeners not reveal anything about the final two episodes of the Daryl Spinoff. Sounds all kinds of promising to me.

But there's plenty more. Let me just mention some things that stick out that seem to confirm we're right about smaller things (i.e. not Beth, per se). If you read across all the articles, there are actually a LOT of spoilers for the first few episodes. You can piece together a lot of the story from what's said. Yet, there's nothing about Carol, as I've already mentioned, and nothing suggesting a Daryl/Isabelle romance.

I did read one that said there are some "romance tropes" they use between the two of them, that are sure to get the Daryl shippers all fired up, but we don't actually hear about a relationship.

To me, that just means we'll see more of the same. Just as with Connie, just as with Carol, or Rosita, or just about anyone else he's had friendships with, he will be close to Isabelle and they'll connect on a deep level. Because of that, we're sure to see some Daryl/Isabelle shippers spring up, and the more angry people who ship Daryl with someone else (we all know who they are) will be on the warpath.

But I think if we were truly going to see a Daryl/Isabelle romance, it would be apparent in some way from these reviews. Even if they didn't come right out and say it, they would be frustrated that something is going to happen to inflame the shipping wars and would say so.

Another thing certain shippers were saying is that the leaked pictures of Daryl near the moose crossing sign were just down the road from the Commonwealth and were a scene where Carol caught up with him before he left the states and they had some kind of interaction.

That's proven to be false. We're now being told by the screeners that he's in Maine, very far from the Commonwealth, and Carol is nowhere in sight. To those of us to *actually* follow the details of the story and the symbolism, this has a lot more ties to Tales of the Walking Dead's Davon episode. If you haven't watched it, I would highly suggest you do. We're hoping to see some obvious ties to it in the show.

Of all the articles I read, this may be my favorite. It just gushes about how good Daryl's spinoff is, and has lots of good clues in it. But yes, the line you mention, Nonny, really stood out to me.

If you read carefully, it says Daryl will be asked about those he loves, and being Daryl, he's fairly closed-mouthed about it. But they specifically entangle that idea with him saying, or almost saying, a name that will break the internet. The Carylers, obviously, assume it will be Carol. But would him saying her name break the internet? I don't think so.

Exactly!

It doesn't make sense that Carol's name would break the internet. He already told Carol he loved her before leaving the CW, so it wouldn't be anything new. The names of any other character (Rick? Judith? Michonne?) wouldn't either because the audience knows they're out there somewhere. To break the internet as the reviewer suggests, it would have to be someone we don't know about (most of the GA doesn't think Beth is alive) or something we haven't heard Daryl say before.

So, here's what I'm guessing/hoping for. What if someone (Isabelle, I'm assuming) asks Daryl if he's ever been in love? Now, it says it's an "almost" name drop, so maybe he doesn't actually say Beth's name, but mentions a girl he once ended up alone on the road with or something.

That would be sublime. 😍

And naturally other shippers think he'll refer to Carol. But here's the thing. Let's say--you know, just for kicks--that he IS talking about romantic love and he DID refer to Carol. I still don't think that would break the internet. Sure, the Caryl shippers would go absolutely ballistic with triumph and joy, but remember that, while they're very loud and vocal, they're just a small part of the internet. Most of the GA doesn't know who they are any more than they know who we are. And I think the after TWD viewer who isn't part of the ship wars would just go, "huh. Okay. So they finally had Daryl say he was in love with someone." And then they would shrug and move on. Because most of the GA wants Daryl to find a happy ending, but they don't care overly much who it's with.

Now, obviously I DON'T think he's going to say Carol's name, in a romantic or any other capacity. My point is just that no matter how you slice it, Daryl saying Carol's name would not break the internet, so that can't be what the reviewer is talking about.

But referring to Beth would be completely different. We've never heard him talk about her before. And if he talks about feelings he had for her, well, even the average viewer remembers his and Beth's storyline (AMC has certainly kept it in the forefront of most people's minds all these years) and would have an emotional reaction to Daryl talking about her, and even more so if he says he loved her.

Now, of course this is all speculation one way or the other. We have no idea what he will actually be talking about in that scene. Again, this is just what I'm guessing/hoping for, because it's the only thing I can think of that would "break the internet" as the article says.

So, I've already addressed most of this. I'm not getting the Daryl/Isabelle romance thing at all when I read the articles. Again, just read them very carefully. It says there are set ups that feel like romance tropes, but it doesn't actually say there's a relationship, and the same thing could have been said of Connie and plenty of others.

As for the happy ending, I really think we'll see something of that by the end of the first season, but remember that the reviewers have admitted they can't talk about that. But even if we don't get a total Daryl/Beth reunion in S1, keep in mind that Judith's line about his happy ending probably spans the entire spinoff series.

And if I'm right about him mentioning Beth, (yes, still a big IF right now) well, there's no reason to do that unless they're foreshadowing her coming back into the story.

So, as always, we'll have to wait and see what the episodes bring us.

Can reviews be misleading? Yes. Definitely. And I don't even think it's always done purposely on the part of the reviewer. Sometimes yes, sometimes, no. But we have someone who has seen the show and is trying to reveal it without spoiling it. Each reviewer has their own thoughts and impressions and biases that naturally leak into their reviews. Some of them don't have English as their first language. Some of them are Caryl shippers, and that will make their reviews sound a certain way.

So, you just have to keep in mind that these reviewers are human beings with their own insights and opinions. And while that might make their review come off as misleading, it's really just that they have their own interpretation of what they're seeing, just as we do. Whose to say who's right or wrong? (Except we're totally right. 😉😁😇)

Overall, I've really enjoyed reading all these articles and harvesting clues and insights from them. I'm more excited for the Daryl spinoff than ever and still think it is leading to Beth. And we'll get episode 1 in just a few days. (Yay! 🎉)

Xoxo! 🍁🍂💓

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #team delusional #team defiance #td theories #td theory #beth is almost here #bethyl #daryl dixon spinoff #dd spinoff

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campcamp5ever-notforever · 6 months

Text

Gwen's Therapy Session.

"How am I feeling? Hmm...Honestly, I'm not sure."

Gwen licked her lips and then pursed them, deep in thought.

"Conflicted, I guess. You know, that's just been my whole life, actually. Full of conflictedness. Like, once, when I was 8, I remember, I couldn't decide between mint chocolate chip ice cream or strawberry ice cream. Spoiler alert: I ended up choosing strawberry because mint chocolate ice cream is just frozen toothpaste. Another time, Mother made me choose between her and my dad when they were divorcing."

She sighed at the memory.

"Mother, she...she wasn't a good person, and it took me a long time to realise that. No no, she's not dead. We just don't keep in contact with each other anymore...Growing up, my family and I were well off. Mother, she came from a pretty wealthy family but she, ha-ha, broke ties off with them when she married my father. This...this poor black dude, so yes, they were racist too, as well as classist. Lucky enough for her, her uncle, my gran tío Gabino, he supported her and her decisions so when he died, he gave her all his money in his will, and when she found out, she left her family with my dad right by her side. They had me about two years later."

"...Growing up was no fun. I was this gangly, awkward, quiet child who wasn't sure what to do with her life, and I'm pretty sure that pissed Mother off. She was this assertive, dominant, say-what's-on-her-mind savvy businesswoman so I think she assumed her spawn would turn out like her too. It certainly did not help that my dad is this out-there, outgoing, determined man. In her eyes, I was a failure, so she...kept her distance. She kept away from the constant reminder of inadequacy. I heard her talking to my dad once-she said, 'Tough love will help her grow. It worked with me. Look where I am today'. This was a reason why they're separated today because my father did not agree with her ways. He was trying to break generational trauma, but she was just trying to keep it ongoing. Like Grey's Anatomy, for some reason. You know they're on season 39 now? For no goddamn reason at all. A handful of times, yes, handful, I can count them on my fingers, she did attempt to try talk with me but somehow, she made it about her. Always. How the hell do you turn a conversation about your child's first crush into how you 'worked your way to the top'? When I was in school, I always got As. I never did drugs and didn't get pregnant. I won school trophies and certificates, but I always dreaded telling her about my achievements. Nothing was ever good enough for her. All she saw were the faults in everything I did. Whenever I smiled, she told me she could see my wrinkles, I should stay out of the sun so I wouldn't get too dark, she never listened to me, always had to be the one in the right, told me no man would ever love a stubborn and awkward girl like me..."

Her hand had curled up into a tight fist. A fist curled up so tight that it was trembling on the tabletop. When she realised this, she uncurled it, releasing the tension that threatened to consume her.

"My father left when I was 15. That's a big conflict there. He had enough and he left. It was the week where she went insane; on that Saturday, she wrecked her bedroom, screaming, tearing pillows and clothing apart, throwing things, broke her vanity, and when she was thirsty, she came downstairs to find alcohol and when she found a bottle, she disappeared into her bedroom for a week. I think towards the end of the week was when she and my father had a talk because she came out of her room, eyes red, hair a mess, and asked me: who do you want to stay with?"

Gwen licked her lips.

"Of course, it was a question I had to ask myself. I was thinking about it. I loved my dad, but I knew what he was up to with his time; he was an aspiring musician but that did not make him any money. This was another reason why Mother's family disliked him, by the way. I should know that he didn't make much money; I used to perform with him so I knew how much he would make with his performances. But we were lucky because we had...Mother. Then, he didn't have her. I decided to stay with her for obvious reasons, which I regret a lot these days....I don't remember a moment of her telling me she loves me..."

"She became much colder after that, and I just avoided her whenever she was at home. Escape came in the form of college but the moment she heard that I was staying with my father in his RV, she cut off my college funding and went no contact with the both of us. It was like she was reminding us of who she was. Unfortunately for her, I managed to secure a bursary. My father once pointed out how she had changed after I was born and she'd replied, ‘Maybe it's her fault I'm this way'. I heard her clear as day. I think I was still a child, then."

She looked up at the ceiling, the fluorescent lights shining bright into her purple orbs.

"She, um, she actually called me a few years ago. I was surprised. And shocked, too, you know, considering it'd been...12 years, now, that we hadn't spoken to each other. That was a huge chunk of my life that she'd missed. I think she realised that and that's why she called. Maybe to make amends, I think, because she asked me, 'How are you?' How was I? I was conflicted then, too, because she had called me at an unusual time."

"8 years ago, this shitty camp I used to work at, closed down. Several human rights violations and child endangerment cases but that's another story for another day. The camp shut down a few months before the big Covid scare and when it did, my co-camp counsellor, David, he stood in front of me, and it took a few moments for him to say what he wanted to say. I was just about to leave, my suitcases packed already, waiting to leave for the 5 o 'clock bus that would stop in front of me shortly. It had been about four hours since every child had left with their parents or guardians...except for one boy. Max. He was standing with David, who was consoling him, at the same time speaking angrily into his phone. We couldn't leave him alone at the camp, so he came along with us to the bus stop in town."

"I watched as David crossed the street to where I was standing, a solemn, conflicted look on his face. That was very strange considering the type of guy he was, so I was already concerned. He stopped right in front of me, taking a few minutes for him to say what he needed to say. He just stood there, staring at me intently. I remember what he said, not word for word, mind you. He rested his hands on my shoulders and said something like-"

'Gwen, I know we've had our fair share of disagreements, but there's one thing we can agree on – Max deserves the world. He's a resilient, intelligent, and incredibly unique individual. And I believe, deep in my heart, that we have the opportunity to give him the stability and love he needs. I understand the gravity of what I'm proposing. Adopting Max is a significant responsibility, especially considering our current circumstances. But Gwen, think about it. Think about the joy and fulfilment that comes with shaping a young life, guiding them through their struggles, and celebrating their triumphs.

Max has faced challenges that most kids his age couldn't even imagine. He's been let down, disappointed, and left feeling like he doesn't belong. But together, Gwen, we can change that narrative. We can show him that he's not alone, that he's valued, and that he has a place where he truly belongs – with us. I know you might have reservations. We both do. But let me assure you, Gwen, that we're not alone in this. We'll be together and I know that when we're together, we can do anything.

I'm asking you to join me on this journey because, truthfully, I will not be able to do it on my own. Please join me in becoming Max's adoptive parents. Help me give him the love and stability he deserves. Let's show him that no matter what life throws his way, he'll always have a family to come back home to. I know...I know this is a lot to take in. I know this all sounds crazy but please, just think about it.'

"It was a lot to think about for the short span of time I had. Imagine if a person, whom you've known for six years, just suddenly asked you to be a parent with him, to a child whom was recently abandoned by his real parents. It was my turn to take a few seconds of what I had to say and then my phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. My eyes still on him, I answered the phone."

" '...How are you?' "

" '...Mother?' I asked."

" 'Hello, Gwendolyn'. "

"She told me that she was going to therapy which shocked me completely because whenever my father brought therapy up, she always told him that she felt like he was ambushing her. Why would she want to talk to a stranger who was just going to tell her she was crazy? I told her that I was happy for her, and she asked me about my job. My blood ran cold but I stood my ground."

" 'I've been working as a camp counsellor.' "

" 'Camp counsellor? Is that what you've been doing with your life? Wasting away in some shitty camp?' "

" 'It wasn't a waste, Mother, I've come to find out. I helped kids discover themselves and grow into better individuals.' "

" 'Helping kids? What about helping yourself? Have you even thought about your own future? A real career? Your ambitions?' "

" 'I did, Mother. I found fulfilment in being a counsellor.' "

" 'Fulfilment? Oh please, Gwendolyn. You always were the pathetic dreamer. When are you going to wake up and realize that life isn't about playing campfire songs and telling ghost stories?' "

" 'Life is about finding happiness and meaning.' "

" 'Happiness? You call that happiness? Living like a vagabond, disconnected from the real world? You're delusional, my dear. Happiness does not pay the bills.' "

" 'Delusional? I think you're the one who's out of touch, Mother. You haven't spoken to me in twelve years, and now you waltz in here expecting me to conform to your idea of success?' "

" 'Don't you dare talk to me like that, young lady! I raised you better than this. You're embarrassing me.' "

" 'Embarrassing you? You know what's embarrassing? Ignoring your own daughter for over a decade and then having the audacity to criticize her life choices, especially when life has been so crappy towards her!' "

" 'I had hoped that by now, Gwendolyn, you would have outgrown this behaviour. I was wrong, and it seems I was mistaken. Stubbornness has always been your defining trait.' "

" 'Maybe I learned it from you. You've never been supportive of anything I've done. You thought I was a failure and you made sure I knew it. You only saw the negative in everything I did. You only care about what makes you look good in society's eyes. You can never ever be wrong because you're so 'perfect'.' "

" '...I sacrificed everything for you, and this is how you repay me? By throwing your life away?' "

" 'I'm not throwing my life away, Mother. I'm living it on my terms. Good things take time and I'm willing to wait.' "

" 'Fine! If this is the life you choose, then don't expect me to stick around and watch you ruin it.' "

Gwen shook her head after her recount and sighed deeply.

"That was the end of that. I dropped the phone call and looked back at David. His eyebrows were raised in question, his face a mixture of inquiry and concern, and I just fell into him, giving him a big, fat hug. At that moment, I told myself that I wasn't throwing my life away. I was still young. Hell, I was just a 28-year-old teenager-"

She chuckled at her lame millennial joke.

"-there was a lot of time for me to figure my life out. I was determined to prove to Mother that I hadn't ruined my life. Before I knew it, I was sitting in the passenger seat of David's car, driving off with him and Max in the back. Our adventure was just starting..."

She looked down, swallowing back oncoming tears.

"We did not know what life had in store for us. The future was a distant, shrouded mystery. These past few years have sucked but my God, we prevailed, and that is one of the best feelings a human can have. I don't talk to mother anymore but if I did, I would tell her that my life is at its peak, and it won't be stopping any time soon. Now, my family and I live in this picturesque town reminiscent of a storybook setting. I mean, we have a goddamn coffee place right around the corner from where we live! I can fucking walk to the school where I work without getting mugged or catcalled! The school itself has given me and David a discount on school fees because I work there! We have a fucking labrador at home Max named after this teddy-bear had when he was younger! I gave birth to the most precious baby girl ever three years ago, David's less stressed now and he sings all the bloody time! Max called me 'Mom' for the first time ever last week, and now I am-"

She glanced down at the time on her watch.

"-20 minutes late to my new job!"

She grinned.

"How am I feeling, you asked? I am feeling...content."

The barista blinked at Gwen in astonishment, his hand hovering above the cash register's keypad, mouth slightly agape. He cleared his throat, composing himself.

"...And what would you like to order, Miss Gwendolyn?" He asked, staring at her with a 'what-the-hell' look, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

"I think I'll try your mint chocolate chip milkshake," Gwen nodded.

This has been in the back of my mind so I wanted to write it.

#camp camp #camp camp fandom #cc fandom #camp camp fanfic #cc fanfic #camp camp au #cc au #camp camp gwen #cc gwen #camp camp david #cc david #camp camp max #cc max #cc gwom #cc dadvid #camp camp oc #gwenvid

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bi-bard · 2 years

Text

It's Like I'm Still Here with You - Jack Kline Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: It's Like I'm Still Here with You

Pairing: Jack Kline X Reader

Based On: Still

Word Count: 950 words

Warning(s): spoilers for season 15/14, grieving, mention of canonical death/violence

Summary: [Early Season 15] After Chuck kills Jack, (Y/n) is left feeling guilty for grieving. Sam attempts to comfort them, only for (Y/n) to confess to something that no one had properly considered.

Author's Note: I am in pain. This deadass hurt so much.

STICK SEASON - NOAH KAHAN WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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I used to think that if I kept working then I could avoid any potentially distracting thoughts.

I learned the hard way that it didn't always work like that.

I just kept replaying it all in my mind, looking for a moment when I could've stopped everything. Small things. Words spoken, steps taken, hands held up or out. I could've stopped all of this.

All of the possibilities swirled my mind enough to make me sick.

Or that sick feeling came from the guilt.

After God decided that our world had finished being what he wanted, he opened Hell's doors, allowing an army of spirits to overtake a small town. It was what he had always done, truly. God- all-powerful and all-knowing- doesn't truly give a shit about us in the end. He was happy to watch his creations burn in the name of good entertainment or blind worship.

And he wonders why so many people hate him.

I was in the small office of the high school that we used to house the town's population. I had been taking a head count before and getting a list of missing family members and friends. It was the best choice for me.

Truthfully, I think Dean was scared I would kill Belphegor- the demon who possessed Jack's body- if I were to get too close.

Jack.

I don't think I've ever had a name sit like a rock in my chest in the same way theirs did.

We had been close. Incredibly close.

And then, everything went wrong.

Nick tried to summon Lucifer, Jack stopped Lucifer and Nick, Jack killed Mary, God tried to force Dean to kill Jack, and then God killed Jack when Dean refused.

I saw the pain that Sam and Dean went through after Mary died. Watching them in so much pain made me feel wrong for how much pain I felt after Jack was killed. Dean had been so convinced that Jack was evil and was just going to be another problem for us to fix. But I still couldn't shake how much I missed them.

I missed Mary too. Of course, I did.

It was all just so... much. Confusing and terrible and overwhelming.

I didn't see Sam walk in.

"(Y/n)?"

I jumped a bit before letting out a sigh. "Don't sneak up on people right now, Sammy."

"Sorry," he replied. "You alright?"

"About as alright as possible," I shrugged. Dismissive and vague. I was starting to sound like Dean. "I... I got the headcount done. And there's a list of missing relatives that we should look for."

"Good," he nodded. "I called Rowena to help us."

"Okay."

"Hey," he said. "I... I can see that you're holding back tears."

I closed my eyes for a moment and shook my head, willing all of my emotions back down. Or inviting them to disappear completely. Either scenario would've worked for me at that point.

"If you need to sit down for a while, that's okay, I can take over here-"

"No," I said quickly. "I... I need to keep working, Sam. I can't just sit around. I... I can't. I'll find something else to do."

"It's about Jack, isn't it?"

I closed my eyes again.

"(Y/n), come on, you need to take a minute," he insisted. I shook my head. "(Y/n)-"

"No, Sam. I told you no."

"(Y/n)-"

"I loved them, Sam," I stopped him.

The air around us shifted. I watched the realization process on Sam's face. I felt the twisted guilt in my stomach again. It felt like it was crawling up my throat like vomit. I could swear that I felt it burning my body.

"And- And I didn't say anything because I thought it would just confuse them," I continued, running my hands over my face. " I lost the chance. I just... I can't help thinking that if I had said something before... just so they could know... I could've stopped all of this."

I was suffocating. I was certain of it.

"And after... after everything that happened with Mary, I... I feel like I shouldn't still love Jack, but I do," I felt a sob fight its way out of my throat before I could even think to stop it. "It all just... I feel terrible. And now, I have to watch some demon walk around in Jack's body like they were nothing and I-"

"Hey, hey..."

Sam walked over and pulled me into a hug as the sobbing overtook any words that could've come out of my mouth. I had never cried like that before. I was completely frozen. I couldn't physically do anything other than sob.

"You aren't terrible," Sam promised. "Not at all. Being in love doesn't make you terrible. It's okay to grieve. It's okay."

I tried to completely hide my face from everything around me. I felt Sam hug me a little bit tighter.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

I took a deep breath, trying to accept that idea.

"I need you to go sit down," he continued before stepping back. "No working on this for a little while. Just relax."

"No, I need to help-"

"The warding it up and we're watching for Rowena. Go sit down."

I nodded, letting him lead me away from everything in the small office.

I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't need to apologize for grieving. It wasn't exactly a simple idea to accept.

I ran my hands over my face as I laid down for the first time in what was probably days.

One day, I kept thinking to myself. I'll accept that thought one day...

Just not yet.

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viktheviking1 · 1 year

Text

Minor Spoilers for Season 2 episode 6 (Mostly it just wouldn't make sense without context)

In the dimly lit corner booth of the bar that stank of lost hopes and dreams.

"What ever happened to your quieves? Were they released into the wild to become sewer rats? Because I don't think those pampered pups would survive-"

"They're fine." Fizz interrupted then chuckled, "When Ozzie and I got back to our room, they were there waiting. Practically tackled us to the floor with kisses."

He scrolled through his phone to show Blitz pictures, "The limo driver scooped them up while we were having our fistfight in the street. And I'm sure glad too, because while most of them are tough, this white one is Precious, and she needs her Daddy most of all."

Blitz was surprised to see Fizz gush proudly over the little creature, but was happy to see this side of his friend again, "D*mn, I wish my daughter needed me. I can't even get her to call me Dad most of the time."

"Dad? You in a kinky relationship or some sh*t?” Fizzarolli raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, right.” Blitz smiled and started his own proud dad rant, “No, I actually adopted a kid!”

He pulled out his phone to show his own pictures and began rambling, “Her name’s Loona, she’s 22, and a bit emo. Or was it goth? Anyway, she’s working with me at the I.M.P. Oh, right. That’s the company I started. It stands for Immediate Murder Professionals. We kill people for sinners who still have revenge to get on the surface. Loona’s also pretty d*mn good at tearing humans to shreds, if I do say so myself. But most of the time she’s our wonderful receptionist who is very good at her job even if she starts fights with half of our clients. Most of them deserve it, anyway.”

“Wow . . . A lot can happen in 15 years, huh?” Fizz said, handing back the phone.

“Uh, yeah . . . I guess it does. And that isn’t even the half of it! I went to prison, and broke out.” Blitz winked.

“No f**king way! Are you sh*tting me? We were supposed to do that together! I gotta hear this.” Fizz rested his face in his hands, ready to listen.

A couple hours later, stumbling out of the bar came Blitz and Fizz had their arms around each other together as they made their way over to Blitz’s van, tipsy and trying to steady themselves.

“And then I said, ‘What family?’”Blitz said and they both cry-laughed together.

“You absolute little sh*t.” Fizz laughed, “And you said you weren’t a comedian anymore.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a special brand of humor I suppose. Only us circus f**kers really get it.”

“Buckzo would be so ashamed.” Fizz snorted.

Blitz guffawed, “Good!”

Fizz caught his breath and turned to Blitz, "You know, I haven't had such a good time since Ozzie took me to a rock concert with 8 dozen cans of silly string." He wiped a happy tear from his eye, "We should do this again sometime."

Blitz couldn't believe what he was hearing. Only one thing could make this better. He looked around and saw the street was entirely devoid of people.

Too drunk to think clearly, he smirked and pinned Fizz against the side of the van, "Ya know, the night doesn't have to end here. I could take you back to my place, or we could go to yours? I wouldn't mind some quality time with you and the Misses."

Fizzarolli felt a tail curl around his inner thigh, "I- uh- . . ."

"Come on, Fizzy~" Blitz cooed in his ear, "Show me some of what you've learned in the lust ring."

Fizz swallowed and tried not to shudder as he felt Blitz's tongue on his neck, "I'm not sure if-"

Blitz slid his tongue across Fizzarolli's sharp teeth. He felt Fizz melt in his hands and he loosened his grip on the jester's wrists. Fizz's metal arms wrapped around Blitz, pulling him in. Blitz let his hands wander; one found its way to Fizzy's lower back while the other held his chin. He pulled back a little, and looked into Fizzy's eyes. They both stared deeply into each other, intoxicated by the nostalgic scent of an old friend, and the taste of old feelings on their tongues.

"I've missed you so much." Blitz finally let himself say.

"Yeah," Fizz interlocked his mechanical fingers with Blitz's and smiled, "Me too."

Fizz leaned in and kissed him again.

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