#mind you they all have one of 3 attitudes toward queer women

[musclesandhammering]

Perpetually annoyed by the attitude straight women have about gay men and the gay men who encourage it 😒

[tyrannuspitch]

👻

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

oh god. okay. so. last year i learnt the term ergi, which for the uninitiated is defined as follows: unmanly dishonour in an old norse (*inspired) context, especially being penetrated during sex (but also other things like cowardice, servility, and practicing women's magic.)

and i started trying to Extrapolate a whole hypothetical culture from this.

like, it's easy to say that that's straightforwardly "it's okay if you're on top". but if the predominate attitude is that it's always acceptable to be the top and never acceptable to be the bottom, AND honourable = masc = strong while dishonourable = fem = weak, AND m/m sex is frequently framed in terms of domination, conquest, or even punishment... then you're probably going to end up with a society with an absolutely awful attitude towards consent. a society with basically no distinction, in the common understanding, between gay sex and rape.

so. i take this framing. i take mcu thor, who embodies a lot of his society's worst ideas but always in the most noble, well-intentioned way... and we end up with a guy who thinks gay sex is wrong because it's always homophobic rape.

like. the ambient cultural attitude is. topping a guy is an act of violence, but it's fine, because if you "let" it happen you, you must deserve it.

while thor's personal attitude is. topping a guy is an act of violence, so no-one can possibly genuinely want it to happen to him, so it's always just about taking advantage of someone weaker than you, so it's always wrong.

and, vitally, the category of weakness in thor's mind includes queerness. (and he doesn't think of tops as queer!) so if anyone says some queer guys DO want it, he dismisses that as a mocking / victim-blaming myth. and if a queer guy looks him in the eye and says no i promise you i really do want it, his brain short circuits and then he goes. oh no this man is full of self-loathing or perhaps insanity :( and it would still be terribly wrong of anyone to exploit that :(

(what does he think queer guys do want? idfk. non-penetrative sex, probably, but also, being queer is a tragic misfortune and not necessarily functional, so maybe they are just all self-destructive and crazy. also don't ask his opinion on grey areas of penetrative-ness because he just has not thought that hard about it.)

(also, thor's definition of queerness-as-identity being less tied to penetration means it's more tied to generalised femininity. which also means he is not allowed to desire men, because he's not fem, so obviously he wouldn't be The Victim, so that would be evil of him. (does he like men? idfk. but if he did he'd be having a truly awful time with it!))

basically: thor is deranged <3

to be clear, i don't think thor's attitude necessarily stays here. i think this is his attitude as quite a young adult (up to ~18-20?) but eventually one way or another he is confronted with the real world and it has to crumble. but. god it's fun in its bizarre way. what's wrong with that man <3

also. not a historian. no idea if this is how anyone in the real world has ever actually thought. but i'm dealing with a hypothetical society here so their attitudes can be literally anything i find interesting.

fanfic writer ask game 💕

[artekai]

For the ask game, HZD! (～￣▽￣)～

Thank you!!! I'm not sure if you meant only HZD or Horizon as a whole but I'll do just HZD for this one!

3 male characters I love:

Sylens

Aratak

Varl

Honorable mention to Gildun from the Frozen Wilds!

3 female characters I love:

Aloy

GAIA

Elisabet

Honorable mention to Ourea sorry queen

3 romantic ships I love:

Elisabet/GAIA

Erend/Avad

uuuh I can't think of any others

3 platonic dynamics I love:

Aloy & Sylens

Aloy & Teersa

Is it cheating if I say Aloy & Artekai?

Also Erend and the guys from the Vanguard that had like 5 seconds of screentime, they were fun lol

3 favorite moments in canon:

"First you shun me, now THIS?! I will NOT be worshipped. I'm NOT your Anointed! I don't belong to you. There is a whole world beyond your borders, whole tribes of people just as good as you, and it is all in danger. It's a world worth fighting for. Not just here. Everywhere."

Just finding out about Zero Dawn in general. The tragedy and questionable morality of it all. The increasingly hopeless datapoints. the persistence of humanity in the face of impossible odds. The dedication to secure a future that none of them would live to see.

The Frozen Wilds ❤️❤️❤️

3 favorite headcanons:

I have to admit that Sylens and Helis as exes is pretty funny. Which leads me into my headcanon that Sylens is gay but simply no man alive is good enough for him lol

Aroace Aloy 🏳️‍🌈

uhhhh my brain is fried so I can't think of anything more detailed than queer headcanons rn sorry 😭

3 least favorite things about it:

Aloy's disrespectful attitude towards other people's faith and traditions. It's valid to criticize harmful aspects of a culture, of course, but she crosses the line between that and being plain rude and jumping to assumptions a handful of times. Of course it's one thing if this was established as a character flaw, but I don't think the narrative challenges her nearly enough for it.

All of the fridged women!!! Honestly I think I'm dissatisfied with the way Horizon handles character death in general but idk, I couldn't tell you exactly how to fix it if I tried

Hmm the motion capture is definitely clunky at times but that feels very much like a minor complaint. I would prioritize the quality of the writing over it. But nothing else is coming to mind right now so there you go haha

[fea395-alejandroruiz]

Journal #3

This week we viewed the film Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) directed by Toshio Matsumoto. Funeral Parade of Roses showcases the queer and trans culture that existed in Japan during the late 1960s and how they fit into Japanese society. The film follows Eddie a cross dressing man who works at a gay bar in Tokyo. Personally I found the film a little hard to follow, but I definitely took away a few things from the film viewing. It was really interesting when the film switched to a documentary style of filming and asked people/cast about their gender identities. It was surprising that a majority of those interviewed claimed to not be trans, but instead just a boy who wants to live their life as a woman. They seem to be afraid of the trans label, yet totally embodying the identity of a woman. Of course, it’s totally acceptable to be a man who acts very feminine, but in this case it feels like Japanese culture has a harsh perception of trans identities and avoid that label all together. The film highlights the amount of shame that comes with being queer in Japan. At one point Eddie visits an art exhibit displaying all these grotesque masks, explaining that people mask their true selves. Eddie is quite unsettled by this exhibit and it conveys that Eddie is not comfortable in their own skin. In addition, Funeral Parade of Roses reinforces a trend in which gay characters always suffer. Eddie learns that his lover is actually his father. As a result his father kills himself and Eddie stabs out his own eyes. Watching this, it makes me believe that Japan had very cynical views of queerness, which reflects itself in how queer Japanese filmmakers viewed and represented themselves in film. There was no happy ending because it wasn’t believable that a queer person could have one at that time.

In addition to the film, we read Queer Japan from the Pacific War to the Internet Age by Mark McLelland. This reading reinforced some ideas that were present in Funeral Parade of Roses. For one, the article states that “at this time male homosexuality was not clearly differentiated from cross-dressing and transgenderism (pg. 72)”. In the film, none of the gay bar workers identified as trans women. This appears to be a result of the lack of understanding and education of what trans identity means and that being a gay boy was really the extent of what you could be. With the inclusion of a gay bar in the film, it really demonstrates the explosion of sexuality in Japan after the war. According to the text, the “postwar period witnessed a loosening of traditional sex  and gender ideologies, resulting in an endorsement of "curiosity seeking"  in sexual matters and a less judgmental attitude in the popular press toward homosexuality and other non procreative acts (pg. 65)”. After studying Japanese cinema and how strict the ideas of traditional roles were in Japanese society, it’s surprising that the Japanese had such an open mind to homosexuality compared to the United States. Not to say life was perfect for queer Japanese people, but there was a recognition of them. The film and article convey to me that Japan was a mixed bag of messages. Japanese society seemed to be somewhat open to explorations of sexuality, but at the same time queer men and women didn’t feel fully accepted or optimistic about their futures. 

[widow-maximov]

can you do a one shot where we’re with wanda and nat but thor brings valkyrie down to the compound for the first time and we get super flustered and stuttery whenever she talks and flirts with us because cmon we all know valkyrie is a big flirt😩😩🤲🏼 then having wanda and nat are amused but also jealous by our little crush on valkyrie

New Crush?

Pairing: Natasha x Wanda x Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, angst :3

Summary: What happens if you develop a crush on someone else than your girlfriends; Wanda and Natasha.

Word count: 3.7k

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

Having queer teammates will never be enough, you were first open queer person on the team which was something everyone liked about you, though you were open about your sexuality, you were pretty shit at flirting and that was pretty obvious.

Before Wanda and Natasha, you tried your luck at flirting with women as practice but it failed so horribly when you received a hard slap across your face and then you owned Bucky 20 bucks.

So when you said you sucked, you really sucked. You were beyond happy that the two redheads asked you out first because you would be still single if it was up to you to make a move.

The two women were very possessive over you in the teams eyes, you didn't really mind because you knew the reason behind it, but most of the team was a little worried about you and them.

Whenever there was a party that Tony organised, there were a lot of 'threats', well that was only according to Wanda and Natasha, they disliked how everyone practically drooled over you.

Natasha would be the one who would threaten any man or woman approaching you and Wanda would use her powers to 'gently' move away anyone who gotten too close to you.

The only reason they really became this protective was because of your fear of saying no, there was always something in you that just wanted to say yes to everyone when in reality you wanted to say no.

If someone offered you a drink, you said yes to which you nearly got drugged and god knows what would've happened if Steve didn't save you.

So when you became really close with Wanda and Natasha, you opened up to them and they decided that they will now keep an eye out for you at parties and people around you.

Of course the team didn't know anything about this because you were pretty ashamed of this fear, you didn't want to get laughed at, even if Natasha threatened to punch anyone who would, to which she earned a giggle from you.

You really loved these two women but you were a human being, meaning you might have a crush on other people, to which the two girls were not happy with.

The team was pretty shocked by how they reacted because usually they would be throwing threats left and right at anyone but when Thor brought down Valkyrie they just stared from afar as they observed with death stares..

This had the team very curious to their behaviour so whenever you was around Valkyrie they just observed you and the two women. There was this time where the team almost died of shock...

There was an urgent meeting in the early morning whilst you wanted to sleep, you were forced to get out of the bed to attend this meeting, you were informed by F.R.I.D.A.Y. 5 times already that the meeting is going to start soon.

But the urge to get out of bed was really little, since there was no sign of you anywhere, the redheads where sent to get you before you missed any important information.

Wanda used her powers to unlock your door whilst Natasha barged inside with a sly smile across her lips. She plopped herself on you as you groaned at the extra weight on you.

"Sleepp!" Your raspy voice made itself out of your throat as you sounded like you were a zombie.

Wanda did the opposite of Natasha, she laid next to you as she moved your hair out of your face and just smiled at your relaxed face "You have to get up my love"

You opened one eye to look at her and smiled at the nickname "Say it again"

"Say what again" She repeated herself, she knew what she was doing, she just wanted to keep you awake.

"My love" Even if you were half asleep, the blush across your face was visible.

"My love.." Wanda said it with so much love in her voice which made your heart skip a beat.

"Hello! I am here as well don't forget about me" Natasha made herself known.

You looked at her "Oh I know, I wouldn't forget the weight of a whale on me"

She raised her brows at you, as her mouth opened wide taking offence to your words whilst Wanda giggled "When did you pick up this attitude котенок (kitten)"

"From spending too much time with you" Wanda added as she looked at Natasha with a huge smile.

The redhead rolled her eyes at the both of you as she leaned down to your ear "Call me a whale again and you'll see the punishment that comes with"

You nodded quickly to which she smirked and got off you "If you're not down in 10 minutes and we have to come back again, I wont be so nice котенок (kitten)"

Wanda quickly placed a soft kiss on your cheek and giggled out of the room along with Natasha, leaving you alone again, you really wanted to go back to sleep but you didn't want the Russian to literally drag you out.

You got out and got ready as quick as you could, making your way out of the room and where the meeting was being held, you ended up quick far away from your girlfriends than you would like to but you could only blame yourself for not getting up earlier.

Everyone looks your way which makes you panic a little so you turn around and there was Thor with some girl, she was gorgeous from head to toe, and she noticed you as well.

They both made their way towards the group to which she stood next to you, Thor started his speech to which you tried to listen to but she spoke up.

"What's your name sweetheart" She slightly turned her face to look at you.

A blush was already there on your face when you looked into her eyes "Uh.. Y-y/n"

There was a slight smirk across her face, as she looked away a little and then back at you "Nice to meet you Y/n, I'm Valkyrie but you can call me Val"

You smiled shyly at her and looked at the floor briefly as you nodded, she spoke up again when you didn't reply "Are you doing anything after this?"

You shook your head, your eyes finding hers within seconds, she smiled widely "Could you maybe give me a proper tour?"

It took a second to realise what she just asked, you didn't even think about looking over at your girlfriends, you just nodded "S-sure I wouldn't mind"

Valkyrie bit her bottom lip "Well Thank you princess"

You giggled very awkwardly which didn't go unnoticed by the whole team or the two redheads "Heh- You don't have to thank me"

Valkyrie reached over to your hand as she grabbed it gently and placed a light kiss on your hand "None sense, pretty women like you deserve the world"

Your checks turning a more red colour as you watch her kiss your head, it felt like your brain stopped working and you just nodded at her because words will betray you if you speak.

Steve ended the meeting soon after and before Natasha or Wanda could make their way to you, you were being dragged away by Valkyrie.

Suddenly all of the teams heads turned towards the two redheads as if to expect a reaction, they looked at each other and then back at the team.

Natasha narrowed her eyes "What?"

They all shrugged and mumbled stuff under their noses, slowly scattering all over the place to avoid the black widows stare, shocking each and every one of them to core with their lack of reaction.

This has happened a lot, Valkyrie being all over you and you being okay with it, after that first day, many followed and you were practically all the time busy with her.

She took most of your time which Wanda didn't like, Natasha was more amused by your sudden confidence, usually you would be a mess when it came to choices.

But when you were with her you tried your best to show off as confident which failed so badly, you were a mess around her which only annoyed Wanda more.

She wanted to confront you about it but Natasha kept discouraging her, she trusted you but Wanda started to question it at some point in this whole situation.

"Natasha we can't just stand by and watch as she slowly takes our Y/n away!" Wanda paced around the room.

Natasha was on her phone during Wanda rant, she has been through this with her many times but with each issue raised by Wanda, she slowly started to believe her.

"Mhm" Natasha agreed, not paying attention to what Wanda was saying.

"Would you listen to me!" She raised her voice and soon Natasha's phone went flying across the room.

"Hey! I was reading something" Natasha stood up from the bed as she walked over to Wanda.

"I am talking to you Nat, it's really important" Wanda's voice turned soft as Natasha walked closer.

"I was listening, I understand what you're feeling but you shouldn't question Y/n's trust, you know Y/n would never do something like that" Natasha crossed her arms as she started to explain.

Wanda nodded "I know and I'm not questioning her trust, I just don't like how she talks all about Valkyrie, it's like we are her friends rather than girlfriends"

The Russian looked down for a brief moment and Wanda continued "She doesn't swoon over us anymore, she gets all flustered and all nervous like she was with us at first but now it's nothing"

Natasha shook her head "Okay, that's not true"

"But it is, I haven't seen it at all lately" Now Wanda crossed her arms.

"I'm sure it's not true" Now Natasha tried to sound convincing but something in her was saying that Wanda was right.

"Then prove me wrong" Wanda raised her eyebrow at Natasha "Please..." there was a hint of pain in the plead that came from Wanda.

"Okay, I will show you she still is ours Wands" Natasha had a sad smile across her lips as she pulled Wanda into her.

She kissed the top of Wanda's head as she rubbed her hand down the smaller redheads back, to which you witnessed as you walked inside the room.

Your heart nearly burst at the sight of them being so cute, you wanted to join them but Val was waiting for you along with some teammates, you guys were watching a movie.

"Aww, if we weren't a couple, I would totally ship the two of you together" You spoke up as you stared at them with love in your eyes.

Their heads snapped towards your voice, they pulled away to which you spoke up again "Aww noo, I didn't want to disturb yous"

"You never disturb us котенок (kitten)" Natasha voice made itself known rather quickly, the butterflies in your stomach always been there just by looking at the two women so imagine what their voices did to you.

You nodded with a smile at them as you walked over to take your favourite pillow when you watched movies, Wanda's eyes followed you as she asked "What is it that you are doing my love?"

You looked up at her with a small smile "Me and some of the team are watching a movie so I wanted to get my pillow.."

Wanda nodded "You didn't invite us..?"

Here came the tension, whenever Wanda didn't like something and made her jealousy known, you would always just ignore her for the rest of the day, she always treated you like you weren't allowed to hang out with her around.

You knew it was only because she was scared that if she wasn't there and something happened to you she would blame herself but you had protection, not only the team but Valkyrie.

"Well, I wasn't sure whether yous wanted to, Val will be there and I know that you don't exactly like her, for whatever reason that is" You stood up with your pillow in hand.

"I have a perfect reason Y/n!" Wanda slightly raised her voice.

Natasha sighed "Okay, come on we don't need to fight about this.."

"I'm not fighting, I just don't understand why Val is hated so much by Wanda" You looked at Natasha as you spoke up.

The Sokovian huffed in irritation "She is all over you моя любовь (My love) and you're not doing anything about it. You spend more time with her than us combined"

You rolled your eyes, not really thinking through what she was saying "When you stop being jealous then we can have this conversation Wanda"

"I have enough of this" Wanda threw her hands in the air.

You rolled your eyes again as you walked of the room, this time not saying anything and walked on to the living room where everyone was waiting for you.

The whole movie you couldn't really concentrate, your mind was filled with Wanda and how this whole disagreement went, you love her so much and you would be damned if you lost her but she didn't have to be so rude to you.

But at the same time you weren't the best either, you were just as bitter as she was, you wanted to fix this but maybe not tonight, she needs to calm down and you just wanted to think before going into this conversation.

Valkyrie noticed your absent from the movie, she kept looking over at you, and as soon as the movie finished, you stood up as you made your way to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

Natasha followed you into the kitchen as she smirked, Wanda wasn't far from the kitchen to see how this would play out, she was standing with Vision, Bucky and Steve.

There was always something about Natasha that just screamed top energy but when she really wanted to she was the most softest person you could meet.

She slowly made her way towards you with a small smile across her lips as she hugged you gently from behind, placing her hands where you always relaxed into her "I hate it when you're sad детка (baby)"

You leaned into her hug with your back against her front "I'm more disappointed than sad Talia"

She placed a soft kiss on your neck as she spoke again "have I told you, you're the most beautiful woman alive?"

You chuckled slightly as you nodded "Yeah you did but you always said that to Wanda many times"

Natasha smiled against your neck "Well because the two of you rock my world"

Natasha's compliments always had you stuttering and flustered but with time you have gotten used to those love filled compliments even if they still make your heart skip a beat.

"How about we take a wine bottle up to the roof and just talk about everything?" Natasha spoke when silence slowly settled.

You moved out of the hug as you faced her, with a sad smile "Not tonight"

You placed a gentle kiss on her cheek as you walked out with a tin of cookies, you looked up at Wanda who looked like she was ready to approach you but you just continued on.

Valkyrie observed the scene that unfolded and as soon as you walked away, she followed you. Wanda didn't want to cause more trouble than it already has happened so she let Valkyrie follow you even if she wanted to literally lock her in some closet.

You sat on the roof with your cookies and some drink that you managed to grab from the party room, you looked out into the city and how each of the lights made it look so much prettier.

Valkyrie observed you for some time before making her way to sit next to you "Pretty women like you should never be left alone"

You looked up at Val as you smiled at her words, you were debating if opening your mouth was a good idea so instead she spoke up again "So tell me pretty woman what's bothering you"

You looked away from her because if you were going to speak up, you didn't want to stutter "I had a fight with Wanda.."

Val nodded "Your other girlfriend?"

You nodded as you continued "Her jealousy is really tiring"

"How so" She asked as she turned her whole body towards you.

"Her constant doubt makes me go crazy, I just really want her to trust me and my choices in life, she's not even acting like a girlfriend but a mother or some shit" You explained as you looked down at your hands.

Valkyrie moved closer to you as her fingers found your chin, making you look at her "Y/n you deserve someone who will never doubt their love for you, it makes my heart break just seeing you so sad"

You swallowed hardly as you stared into her eyes, even if you told Valkyrie many times that you were taken, she still tried her best to make you fall for her, it would work if you weren't so in love with the two dorky redheads.

"She doesn't doubt in the love between us-" You tried to speak up but Val only put her finger on your lips to shush you.

"I would never spend a second in my life doubting my love for you, you are the most smartest, funniest and nerdy woman I have ever met and I wish you would look at me the same way you look at them"

You started to feel the blush appear on your face, you smiled at her "I don't doubt but they have my heart Val, I have already told you that"

She dropped her hand from your chin as she nodded "I know, You will always have my heart Y/n if that's something you would want"

You smiled at her being so understanding and gentle with this "You're an amazing friend Val and I'm sure that one day you'll find someone who will want you right away instead of making you wait for something that might not happen"

She smiled at your words as she placed her hand on top of yours "You should talk to her before things get worse and you lose her forever"

"I will but at the moment I want to finish my drink and sit here for couple more hours before going back to that issue"

She nodded as she was ready to get up but you stopped her "W-would you stay with me for now? I don't want to be alone"

She nodded with no hesitation as she let you place your head on her shoulder, as the both of you looked out into the city, admiring the view and enjoying this quiet moment.

After couple hours, you finally had enough energy and courage to speak to Wanda, you walked inside the shared room where Natasha was laying down with her laptop on her lap and Wanda with a book.

You sighed as you cleared your throat, making yourself known to the two redheads, they both looked up at you at the same time, you walked over to Wanda's side as you sat on the edge.

Even though you smelt like cookies and some alcohol, you felt like you had enough courage to finally speak out "Can we talk?"

Wanda stared at you for a moment "You're drunk"

You shook your head "No, I just had one glass but I want to talk because I don't want to go bed with this issue unsolved"

Wanda wanted to refuse but Natasha agreed for her, especially since she knew there wouldn't be another opportunity to solve this "Yes we can talk and solve this"

"You were right Wands, I don't spend time with yous anymore and I hate myself for leaving yous behind like that"

Wanda looked at you as you spoke "That's not the issue here Y/n/n, you can have friends and spend crazy amounts of time with them but at least be honest with us"

You looked at her confused "Honest about what?"

"That you no longer love us, we at least deserve this" She looked into your eyes with pain.

You shook your head as you took her hand into yours "I never stopped loving yous"

Natasha smiled at your words as she knew she was right, Wanda questioned once again "So why is she all over you Y/n/n?"

"She knows yous have my heart and every second of my attention, I could never fall for anyone else apart from yous, she likes me but I don't feel anything towards her"

Natasha raised her brows "So she doesn't take hint? Do you want me to tell her something so she can back off?"

You giggled at her "No baby, I can manage with her you don't need to threat anyone"

"I'm sorry my love, I never doubted in you but I was just scared that I would lose you, you and the redhead over here are my whole world I'm really sorry for how I behaved" Wanda's grip on your hand tightened.

You smiled as Natasha frowned "What do you mean redhead over here? For you I am Солнечный свет (sunshine)"

You and Wanda looked over at Natasha as you giggled at her being offended, Wanda nodded as she placed a light kiss on Nats cheek to which she smiled proudly.

You stared at them with so much love in your eyes "I am completely in love with the pair of you"

It has taken back the redheads as now they tried to form words, their butterflies being so strong that now you giggled "Now yous have the nervous, this is a first"

Natasha chuckled "we are in love with you just as much Y/n/n"

You smiled as you squeezed yourself in between the two girls as they showered you in kisses, for the first time in a while, you felt like life was getting better within seconds and finally being able to feel like you are on top of the world with the two most important women.

⸻⸻⋙☸🗲⋘⸻⸻

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[i-am-extremely-mad]

It shocks me over and over again when I come across blogs that extremely aggressively, absolutely HATE LOK, Korra, korrasami and practically every character and aspect of the show. I have to share this horror with others because these are just a small part of the awful views from that blog (supposedly feminist and lesbian), interestingly, attitudes about LOK and korrasami were mostly positive or at least neutral in 2014-2015, and then abruptly changed sometime in the middle of last year which coincides with LOK finally being on Netflix, I will probably respond to if I am in the mood for a toxic discussion...

Anonymous asked:

“I think it's a bit hypocritical that you hate Korra's personality and not Zuko's.Zuko is arrogant asshole bitch and you like him. I never see you criticizing him like you do with Korra”

“Zuko is an arrogant asshole bitch, but he’s not annoying. Korra is an arrogant asshole bitch and is very annoying. Hope this helps!”

#asks#anti lok#going to absolutely BLOW YOUR MIND to find out that the quality of the media itself determines how much I like a character#as well as the quality of the characters development#also this isn't math there is no transitive property for liking characters#some hit and some don't#get over it#Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

“As soon as I heard “I’m the Avatar; you’ve gotta deal with it!” I knew I would fucking hate that show. I naturally hate people who are like that. If Bryke was still smart they would have thought to make Korra’s personality more like water similar to Aang with air, not “haha fuck you, I’m avatar haha!”

“LOL YEP like 3 seconds into the show you hear that, and understand EXACTLY what the rest of LOK is going to be like. Not only is a jarring contrast to Aang and every other Avatar we’ve seen, it directly contradicts everything we know about the Avatar cycle from ATLA. All the other Avatars have to be TOLD that they are the Avatar, and have to work hard to master their non-native elements. Korra just naturally being able to bend 3 elements when she’s like 5 tells you everything you need to know about how the creators of LOK went about making their show: worldbuilding and logic don’t matter, it’s all about flashy visuals and one-time gags.”

#asks#anti lok#DISGOSTING#'meh meh if korra was a MAN you wouldn't call her arrogant' I absolutely would#korra being a dickhead is not okay just because she's a woman#Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

“Korrasami is shit,a joke, boring af, they don't have romantic chemistry, asami acts like a big sister towards korra. there I said it for you.”

“OOP! Well, I certainly didn’t say it!”

#asks#anti lok#but ur right#ACTUALLY I disagree on one point#asami doesn't act like a sister to korra#they act like work colleagues that only ever hang out during their lunch break#they act like very distant cousins that only talk on facebook#they act like people that share mutual friends but don't know each other that well#okay I'll stop#Anonymous

“Korra: 1/10, I will see myself out the door to be CANCELLED! Not only was her character very unlikeable, but the way fandom reared up to defend this (quite frankly) terrible character under the guise of “wokeness” when it is clear that the creators sprinkled in just enough ~representation~ to get brownie points without actually saying anything meaningful is just EMBARRASSING. Korra defenders are being manipulated by those cishet white men they hate so much, and they do it gladly. Anyway, I find Korra boring, disrespectful, and underdeveloped.”

#asks#ask game#character ask game#anti lok#SORRY YALL LOK'S CHARACTERS ARE BAD#also korra gives off 'mean feminine lesbian who calls gnc women slurs' vibes#korra and asami would bully me and then call me a homophobe#and kuvira gives off such heterosexuelle vibes I simply CANNOT with her#thetpot

“IT’S SO VILE! Korra is barely even an active character in her own show! She’s just a vessel that gets beaten and broken over and over again. She doesn’t actually get to LEARN from any mistakes that she makes, she’s just forced to recover from these external traumas that have literally nothing to do with her.

Ugh, tbh I feel NOTHING for korrasami. Korra and Asami don’t speak about anything except Mako for most of the show, and only really start actually TALKING to each other in the last half of season 4. None of Korra’s friends really spend that much time together throughout the runtime of the show tbh.

But yeah, it’s frustrating that people tout LOK as this amazing show staring a queer WOC, but the people making the show HATED Korra and HATED developing her in a meaningful way.”

Anonymous asked:    

“Korra was like Zuko at the beginning of the show, now she in season 4 is like Aang. Bryke gave kuvira a redemption bc team avatar was missing a Zuko. now she is the new zuko and not Korra.”

Sorry, my brain short circuited. You think Korra???? Is like Aang???? That might be the most offensive thing I have ever received in this askbox.

#asks#anti lok#KORRA IS LIKE AANG#IN WHAT UNIVERSE#HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BOY LIKE THIS#I WON'T STAND FOR IT#Anonymous

“also lock me in lesbian prison but korrasami is WEAK! they didn’t have a single conversation that wasn’t about mako for 3.5 seasons!!! they had zero moments together to indicate that asami would be the only person that korra would write to!!! yall tricked me, I thought I was getting some gay shit.

#anti lok#I SAID WHAT I SAID#korra had more chemistry in her one scene with opal than she ever did with asami”

Anonymous asked:

What do you think of korrasami?

no thank u, I don’t feel like being called a homophobe by a bunch of straight women today.

#asks#anti lok#a hornet's nest I will not be swinging at on this Monday lmao#I hate everything in lok you do the math#I'm sure I've talked about my issues with korrasami on my blog SOMEWHERE#have fun!#Anonymous

Not me seeing posts giving LOK and Korrasami credit for queerness in animation when Steven Universe, Adventure Time, and She-Ra were doing it unapologetically, openly, right from the very beginning....

#anti lok#TESTING MY GODDAMN PATIENCE#if korrasami was individually influential for you as a queer woman that's FINE#but do NOT give this insane credit to the cishet writing team of LOK!!!#not when these other shows were made by ACTUAL QUEER WOMEN#DISGOSTING

Anonymous asked:

if ur looking for an actual well-written canon wlw pairing in the atla verse, there’s rangshi. fc yee works so hard to fix all of bryke’s garbage, bless his soul. i have no hope for anything avatar studios related, but if fc yee is in the writer’s room, then there may be a very marginal chance that the stuff coming out is at least somewhat worthy of being associated with atla. the worldbuilding that he’s done in rise of kyoshi is insane.

I have heard good things about the Kyoshi novels! Unfortunately, LOK is the drop of shit that has poisoned the entire water supply. All ATLA-related works are going to have to be LOK compliant now, which is so deeply restrictive and contradictory to what I liked about ATLA in the first place. I feel like pre-canon stuff is safer (and again, heard AMAZING things about what FC Yee has done with a pre-ATLA world), but I guess I’m too cynical to get really invested in any more ATLA stuff anymore.

#asks#atla#anti lok#put Nat in charge of Avatar Studios and THEN we'll talk#finally get the thotty aang and amazing worldbuilding THAT WE DESERVE#Anonymous

I know, this was awful to see...

[irwinkitten]

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 

Michael came in next. 

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 

-

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​

[aratilightwood]

LGBTQ+ and TLH: regressive vs. progressive.

I thought Cassie clarified things by posting an insight into the LGBTQ+ community during the early 20th century.

And I wasn’t going to express my opinions, but people are still claiming TLH has, “too much queer representation.”

I’m sorry but this is going to be a rant.

...

Years ago, I wouldn’t have believed that compared to the early 21st century, the early 20th century was more accepting of the LGBTQ+ population. And in a lot of ways, it wasn’t. Given the general attitudes to the community, one can assume they had it worse during that era. I know what it was like. It was against the law. People were caught and forced to spend their life behind bars, undergo questionable treatments to cure themselves of what was perceived to be an ‘illness,’ or even be killed. They would’ve felt more obligated to hide who they were because of consequences that could’ve unfolded, had they been open about their sexuality. While it’s important to consider historical contexts of books, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking even Shadowhunters held the same values. But people fail to realise that not all did. It must be understood that the Nephilim never adhered to mundane laws, especially those on sexuality. They had their own beliefs and rules to follow. This can be said for both the 20th and 21st century.

Now I’m not going to run with the idea that, “it’s a fantasy series. Cassie can include as many LGBTQ+ characters as she wants.” Even though this is true, I believe there’s not much argument there. Instead, I’m going to compare the governance of Shadowhunters in TLH and TMI, as well as, how this effected their LGBTQ+ population differently. The reason behind my TMI references is because people are under the impression that as “Alec struggled with his sexuality in 2007, it’s unrealistic for Cassie to show people exploring theirs in 1903.” Therefore this must be addressed. I will also be discussing the regressive and progressive argument due to the confusion centred around it.

Some of these are iterations of what Cassie’s said. But I thought I could expand on her points.

...

The governance of Shadowhunters differed between the 21st and 20th century. While the Clave was still recuperating from Valentine’s uprising (1991) in 2007, it was thriving under the twenty-five years of peace after the Clockwork war (1878) in 1903. While the Clave was governed by an old circle member in 2007, it was under the rule of a younger and more open minded individual in 1903. There was more tension between Shadowhunters in 2007. The community was divided by those who supported Valentine, and those who didn’t. Whereas, there was more unity in 1903.

Ask yourselves this, if the Clave hadn’t fallen under Malachi’s rule after the uprising, would it have been better off? Possibly. Everyone wouldn’t have been on edge, afraid of living the life they wanted because they thought they’d be under constant scrutiny. Likewise, if Josiah Wayland hadn’t died and remained Consul in 1878, would the Clave have benefitted from this? Possibly not. He would’ve been stuck in his old ways, discrediting everything Charlotte stood for, as he did throughout TID.

It’s typical that people living through these eras, would’ve held similar values to their leaders. Malachi favoured tradition and the preservation of old teachings, but Charlotte encouraged reformation and incorporated new laws. In other words, his time as Consul was a step back for Shadowhunter society, while hers was a step foreword despite taking place a century earlier.

And it’s these opposing governances that have shaped the general attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community. You can gather why one era in time for Shadowhunters might’ve been more indifferent, if not accepting, compared to the other.

It’s not wrong for Cassie to have more LGBTQ+ representation in TLH compared to TMI, purely on the basis of what society was like for mundanes. This doesn’t necessarily dictate that some Shadowhunters should be less open about their sexuality, as apposed to others, simply because they lived in different eras. We must consider the individual circumstances of each character.

TMI

(1) Alec was born into a conservative family with the burden of being the first child, and the desire to please his parents. His parents were ex-circle members, who were under the microscope of the Clave because of their association with Valentine. These factors arguably contributed to his internalised homophobia.

(2) Aline realised she was a lesbian early in the series, although she was only open about it through the encouragement of Alec. She was apprehensive because of the position her parents held in the Clave, with her mother being Consul and her father’s disappointment because no one could carry the Penhallow bloodline.

(3) When Diana began transitioning into a woman after her sister died in Bangkok, she had to be secretive about it. Shadowhunters were discouraged from undergoing mundane medical procedures, especially those that changed someone’s gender. She took her sister’s identity when she returned to Idris, and was only open about her transition after Alec became Consul in 2012.

(4) Both Helen and Mark might’ve been two of the few Shadowhunters who were open about their sexuality, because the Blackthorns didn’t hold such prejudices. Their parents were accepting and encouraged them to date whoever they wanted, while their siblings welcomed Aline into the family.

TLH

(1) Alastair isn’t open about his sexuality to his family or friends. His claim that he wouldn’t marry a woman and cheat her out of the love, is evidence that he’s accepted himself. But his relationship with Charles was very secretive because he was afraid of the heteronormativity of society.

(2) As much as we’d like to think Charles will be accepted if society finds out about his sexuality, it still hinders the chances of him becoming Consul. His immediate family would most likely have no complaints, but the Clave is too ‘backward thinking’ to live under the rule of a gay leader. It’s because of this, he feels that he can only achieve his goals by marrying an influential woman.

(3) Despite belonging to an understanding family, Thomas has been introverted, shy and closeted for most of his life. While his reason for being less open about his sexuality is similar to Alastair’s, he also mentions that he would rather have one romantic partner instead of several flings. Up until the end of CHOG, he believed this person was Alastair.

(4) Even though people claim Matthew has a bad reputation, it isn’t clear whether or not society is aware of his sexuality. But his close friends are e.g. James who mentions finding him in bed with men and women, as well as, Anna who accompanies him to secret societies. However, there’s no indication that his family knows.

(5) Being a woman of colour who is adopted into a British family that holds high positions in the Clave, you can understand why Ariadne has never felt comfortable about her sexuality. Her circumstances are similar to Charles’, but while his actions are influenced by the drive to be a good leader, hers are shaped by the appeasement and acceptance from society.

(6) Anna is perhaps the only one who is completely open about her sexuality to friends, family and society. This is clear in her choosing to have a bohemian lifestyle by not conforming to gender norms, and freely dating girls. It’s because of this, others are discouraged from socialising with her. But people often forget that throughout EET, she was dressing in her brother’s clothes, sneaking out at night and wary about what her parents thought. Her story hasn’t been easy.

If we think about it, there’s only a slight difference in the number of LGBTQ+ characters in TMI and TLH. What can be concluded from this is, no matter how much or less representation there is, Cassie’s done right by showing those who were open about their sexuality and those who weren’t. As much as people like to complain about it, both existed regardless of the context. Therefore, it’s wrong to exclude one or the other.

Finally, not everything is black and white. Not all Shadowhunters were generally progressive in the early 21st century, but it’s a sweeping statement to make by saying all of them should be regressive in the early 20th century because of the situation in the mundane world. It’s true that various attitudes and norms are shared between Nephilim and humans, but progressiveness and regressiveness isn’t always dependant on dates in history, especially if what’s happening in mundane society isn’t reflective of what’s happening among Shadowhunters.

...

I haven’t mentioned any LGBTQ+ Downworlders, because people have mainly been concerned about representation among Shadowhunters. Also, please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Cassie has only explored Downworlders that are generally open about their sexuality.

If anyone’s wondering which post of hers I’ve been referring to, it’s this one.

[loveeslove]

For Raelle and Scylla ( From motherland : Fort Salem.)

Up to season 1 episode 3, #motherland fort: Salem has many things to open in the light. Scylla, the main villain of the show till now, is the love interest of one of the main characters named Raelle. She is presented as wicked, mysterious and evil as she can be. One of the interesting things of the plot is that some witches have qualm attitude towards the authority. Usually, our media and government try to enlarge the greatness of our military in an unbelievable height. But are they always right? Don’t they have blood of innocent civilians on their hands? For greater measure we always tend to ignore the cost of innocent lives. But should we? Every life matters and every story matters. For a individual who have lost someone of her/his own, has lost someone with or without the greater causes’ benefit. So who should be responsible for this lost, this blood and this sufferings of an individual? Is it OK to sacrifice these young womenin battle field and use them and take their lives just so general Adler can be young and strong as long as she wishes and serve the army? Is it OK to draft young witches against their will and if they defy then arrest them or kill them? Is it OK to kill the civilian just you can demonstrate your protest against incumbent officials?

And other main characters are building their stories on their own accords. Abigail is not as strong as you see and Tally’s blind-folded devotion has to be doomed in near time soon. Adler has many stories to unfold as well as Anacostia. I think Anacostia would play a big big role in twist  & turn in the upcoming plots .

I am eagerly hooked for the series. Don’t forget about series’ background score, their OST remind me of GOT sometimes. If you want to see some aesthetic cinematography, do watch. I had watched these type of aesthetic works last time in Kyss Mig movie. As far as concern to the special effect excellency, this one got 100 out of 100. If you are interested too, look for the  BTS interviews from the creator Eliot Laurence and other actress. They will provide with extra information which are must to understand the plot and its details. And as they said, since their society is non-hetero, there is no imploring for queer representation or normalization. Because that is their normal which is refreshing and a wish of my own.

There are only 10 episodes in season 1. I think the series should have 15-20 episodes in total so that everything can be disclosed rather slowly. Now within this short period, the story is evolving very very fast, leaving required details untold which is sometimes not easy to digest for some audiences.

I don’t want to be political, even though it is, but this show is women-centric and all the stories are around the women characters and their struggles becoming overcoming stories. So let the usual picture of men dominated stories be doomed and appreciate better stories where women are strong and fight for their life, love and causes.

The promo for S1 E4 is a blast. This series is a mind blowing story to enjoy. Let’s see what’s to come next.

For #motherland fort :Salem.

[patheticphallacy]

This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up.

Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away. He was only 50 years old. I won’t go into details because of how personal it is, but he was in hospital a majority of the month before he passed. I’ve taken a year suspension from University for the time being.

It has been a really difficult time for myself and my family. I’ve turned a lot to books and blogging to offer a way to occupy my mind which is why so many things still seem to be coming out, but I cannot say that this will hold up after the funeral.

As I schedule so many posts, a lot of what came out this month has been written since around mid August and I did not find the time to stop the University posts before they were released. I won’t be deleting them.

I hope you’ll all understand.

THINGS I’VE READ

    An Inspector Calls by J.B. Priestley– My sister gave me her copy she used for her GCSE’s. Such a great play with revelation after revelation, left me on the edge of my seat. While I knew the core plot twist, I didn’t predict that ending. 

Mob Psycho 100 Volume 1 by One– This was kind of meh. It’s one of my best friend’s favourites, so I’ll carry it on eventually, but I don’t really feel the urge to pick volume two up just yet. I will say I like how the anime tackles the same events in a different order to save major revelations for backstory– that was really interesting to pick up on. 

I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn– I really didn’t like this! Lacklustre and very cliched, feel like it doesn’t really offer anything other than annoying ending and characters who go through absolutely no development at all. 

Kissing Tolstoy by Penny Reid– An OK romance that actually has discussions surrounding reading and books that don’t feel forced. I found this easy to read even though I’ve never read any Russian Lit, and I actually want to read it more now. Like that it discusses age gaps and issues of the power dynamic too. 

    Seven Tears at High Tide by C.B. Lee– Finally finished this one, and it only took me 3 months. A very cute and heartwarming story about a boy who makes a wish and falls in love with a Selkie. Does get ridiculous at the end, I must say, but I was happy with the payoff. 

The Tea Dragon Society by Katie O’Neill– Katie O’Neill creates such amazing narratives that have wonderful messages about society and being true to yourself and your wishes, pursuing something that you love and encouraging others to do the same. 

Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin– How can I ever trust a single man or old person after this book? Tell me. 

Please Undo This Hurt by Seth Dickinson– Don’t really rate this short story. It bored me and I hated the main characters, not even in a good way. Just perpetuates the ‘I can save you from your mental illness’ narrative that is dull and overdone by this point. 

    My Hero Academia Volume 20 by Kohei Horikoshi– Gentle Criminal and La Brava was so boring, the School Festival arc was fabulous, and Endeavor finally got his ass kicked! Yay! 

Aphrodite Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer– I have a review of this coming out soon for National Poetry Day in the UK, but if you don’t want to wait, I have a review here!

The Quiet Boy by Nick Antosca– I read this after watching the trailer for Antlers, and I thought it was pretty neat! Very thrilling, although I’m bothered by changes being made in the film that I feel could detract from having Julia as one of the main characters in the film. 

I Am Not Your Final Girl by Claire C. Holland– A collection of poetry centring around fictional women from horror films, exploring their empowerment and agency in a genre and a wider culture and society that seems willing to beat them down until they break. 

Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink– I have a review of this linked later this post! Full of body horror and emotional trauma, this is a really solid read great for fans of the podcast and Welcome to Night Vale. 

    In the Shadow of Spindrift House by Mira Grant– I love this terrible cover! Keep an eye out for my review of this, it’s coming out soon. 

The World’s Greatest First Love Volume 1 by Shungiku Nakamura– The publishing elements and the main character were GREAT, but there is prevalent sexual assault in this that is never addressed and is incredibly insensitive in its treatment, so I don’t recommend this manga. 

Dead Voices by Katherine Arden– I didn’t enjoy this one as much as Small Spaces, but it’s still really freaky and a great middle grade read. I love that Coco gets her own POV in this, too, and that it doesn’t take stereotypical routes with some of its plotlines. 

No One Is Too Small To Make a Difference by Greta Thunberg– This is a collection of speeches Greta Thunberg has made addressing climate change, as well as her own position as an advocate for the cause. Moving and a must read, in my opinion. It’s only £3 in Waterstones at the moment for anyone who wants to pick it up!

    Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury– A fascinating collection of essays written by Bradbury about his writing process and some of the more popular works he’s published. I honestly felt really inspired and motivated after reading this, I highly recommend it especially for creative writers, but just be warned it is very oriented around the white male experience.

Heartstopper Volume 2 by Alice Oseman– I adore Heartstopper and I love this second volume. Great progression in the relationship between Nick and Charlie, and we’re getting to see more outside of their relationship and into their friendships and family dynamics, too. I still love Tori Spring!

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle– Finally got a hold of the MASSIVE audiobook where Stephen Fry narrates all the Holmes stories, and it honestly made the experience so much more enjoyable. I think Doyle’s skill lies more in shorter fiction than longer fiction, I think there’s less opportunity for… not useless, per se, just unneeded waffling. 

Giant Days Volume 9 and 10 by John Allison– These two volumes take place around the tailend of the girl’s second years and follows their accommodation location, the progression (and breakdown) of relationships, and them finally making it to third year intact. I honestly can’t believe there’s only three or four volumes left in this series, its been a constant companion for me since 2016 when I first started and I really don’t want to let it go. 

  No Touching At All and Even So, I Will Love You Tenderly by Kou Yoneda– Of the ‘older’ manga I’ve read that focus on the relationships between two men, these two are definitely in the ‘recommend’ pile. Other than the beautiful names for the volumes and the artwork being really pretty, I really enjoyed the developing relationships and the conversations had about workplace homophobia and ostracization in Japan, although that wasn’t the main focus. They do include some questionable attitudes towards identification of sexuality– two characters in both volumes are probably bisexual or on that spectrum, but are referred to as straight more than once for liking women and only the man they enter the relationship with. It’s complicated, but nothing in either volumes ever feels targeted or hateful, just lacking education on the nuances of sexuality. 

Articles

I found this article about Friends great as it breaks down issues I’ve had with the show for years. I don’t have a lot of attachment to it, honestly, I mostly just put it on in the background, but I think I’ll stop now. I’ve always found the handling of gender and sexuality damaging in Friends, as well as the overwhelming fatphobia.

I really enjoyed looking through this list The Guardian did of the 100 best books of the 21st century. I don’t know why, I’m just a big fan of lists!

Before reading this article, I can honestly tell you I knew nothing about Susan Sontag beyond her name. It’s deconstructing her queerness and how her aversion to accepting her own sexuality ultimately ruled a lot of the work she produced in her life.

God, this article was fascinating. I can’t even tell you what it’s about, really, other than that it’s an interview with Christeene, a punk drag artist who is just really cool, honestly. There are some buttholes for anyone who… wants to avoid butts? Or reading this at work?

There was a massive conversation in August that carried into September regarding the rise in men adopting pseudonyms to get their thriller novels published. This Atlantic article particularly captured the issues I have with men who do this, who are almost trying to fool an audience of women who trust women writers to not approach the suffering of women through a misogynistic lens, as is so common in modern society.

An older article by The New Inquiry, Coming out of the Coffin offers an insight into the fraught relationship between Bram Stoker and Oscar Wilde. A really interesting read, I’m just sad I discovered it 7 years after its release!

THINGS I WATCHED

I don’t do music sections on these wrap ups anymore, so I’ll put this here: the GRAACE cover of ‘Complicated’ by Avril Lavigne completely transforms the song and adds such an amazing depth to it

I decided to binge watch Fleabag and it’s most definitely the best decision I’ve made all year. Fleabag follows the titular woman as she navigates her life as a thirty year old woman whose entire life is in flux, and has been since the death of her mother. There’s a lot I could say about this show, honestly. What really stood out to me was how much I could relate specifically to the emotions Fleabag and her older sister Claire feel in relation to each other, and their grief. Seeing them still come back together even after such a significant loss, their dependency, really gives me strength to get through what I’m experiencing at the moment, so Fleabag has been something I can relate to and look at as hope for a future where I can begin to wrap my head around the terrible things going on around me.

THINGS I POSTED

August Wrap Up

TTT: Books Outside My Comfort Zone

50 Bookish Questions Tag

Music I Enjoyed This Summer

Connie’s Personal 101 Guide For Personal Survival of University

Bookshelf Tour Part 3: TBR & More Manga/Comics

Book Review: I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn

TTT: Books on my Fall TBR

Book Review: Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink

Bookshelf Tour Part 4: CDs&DVDs

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi. 

Goodreads|Twitter|Instagram|Letterboxd

September Wrap Up This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up. Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away.

[ledonggcui]

Poetry Suite A Quartet of Love and Death in the Cloud

Poetry Suite

 A Quartet of Love and Death in the Cloud

 1 Cloud

 Clouds is of solitude that clutters

Around the night of Whole Darkness

Something is revealed a scar in the Fog

Weeping thorns are ambitious

They are transmitted over in the Air

Yellow wailing of peasant women showers purple

On the earth…

Ripples of lights expand

 Solitude is not a lonely piece of Cloud in holes of smiles

Not in my pants

Facial expressions stopped our Love and Pains of Shadow

Often -----------

 It appears to be the sorrow of your Childhood

Flushed and floating over the Lake of Paradise

Bouts of laughs strokes the Body

Now they are gone with the Wind and Cloud

 Sinking underneath…

 Blue rolls over

Lightening strikes by

Sallow

 Physical draught blows towards

- @ eyes

- fair plaits shine through

- pale

you have become

 Beauty in the Castle of Vampires

 Ghosts trains carry the Emptiness into our Platform

That was the twightlights of a Morning

 Don is Goo

 Closer and closer together///

This is Now

Understanding experiences of the Spaces and

Physical magnetic fields of a snail’s pace

Urgent is our Homo Sapien’s certain qualities

Tragedies yell at the yellow killing Moon.

Urgent is the telepathic trio

Shouting and screaming and hollering

Towards the Mountains of Fountain and Pines

Our intimacy spun around an endless black holy

Hole…

Your high heels are blogged

The paradise is occasional

The Tables in the house of No. 8 … …

It meant ------- being disturbed up

Inside out

Inside on

In between…

 In the cherry Blossom

- there was your lust longing

- so

- we split

The birth of Darkness we shared the Same Emotion

Smile of bitterness are the Waves of blood and flesh

The bridges has splint and sprint

Good-bye! Chives have been chopped up

Both of you in triumph and the hands that stroke through

Hills and mountains in glory, which are

Darting up up up

 Resplendence

The morning light is not on the Fence

Though when evening approaches,

K is agitated

The fire is pure until now

Occasional coincidence no more in the Front

Frame is the portraiture in the Paint

Abstracted

 i stomp into the maze of an animal-licking disaster

that is the overall impression

in the dream, desire upsets the satisfaction of a finding that

means losing someone or something or somehow for good

madness has bid us farewells for a while

publishing is recording in the dark

our sight-seeings were simulated vision synchronize

even when we were young

when we ate and shit

 fear needs not attack us, amputate us and ambush us

that is why i am looking forward to the vacuum

limbo of no-time, non-space

there will be no tortures on the other side

though that is only an image of a maze

 i enter your oval and the navel in the morning

a cave that shelter from the shower

the tangible flesh burs-ted into flames

possession is not important here

love is not important here

memory is not important here

trains of abstract thoughts wield themselves onto our vision

that is still abstract in the dim lights

a vision that is a curve becomes the cave

conceives the poetic emotion in motion

harbouring our ambiguous

rendevouz

the morning was grey

 Moments of decaying firefly is over the other side of the

Ocean

At the aft a swift jump is a

Rendevouz means that Nothing’s non-action

Common news together with the Sea Wind blows over

Let’s be romantic! Years toils and peasants coils are buried in the Earth

Only the banal rodents screech occasionally ugly

In a perverse high, there was a longing for the Amour of Vertigo and Delusion

The artificial sun-light is saturated in the Sunset

Smearing the Floats

Then on this side of the Otherness…

Cloud rolls by

   a blind leads a blind: the end of the age of innocence

 approached...

orange haze...in the distance

groan is a daze

yet the dark cloud meshes the pleasure of words

mechanically

monotonously

it is a misread dead misconception

 conceivably, boredom wrinkles

they do not snore

when you listen to the void

glaringly, you are in a trance

are we together?

 matrix array

a maze

you and me are a craze

the significance of the well in the desert of h-division

is nowhere

you turn around and see

nobody

 is it dead out there?

sublime

patterned

underneath the moan of the moon

dots of tinkles sacrifice our pleasure of inferno

with the crater of volcano

your megalithic compound is

squared

  ritual of deities - shaving

 hair grows: the longer, the slower; the shorter, the faster

white noise comes again, a mushroom cloud

let's reason the reasons

when someone is lynched

 hands, thousands of hands shout: ' name Anita Buddha

mantra thinks

image stinks

as future comes as a hole not as a whore

 then slow motion is shot backwards

yes, man and woman have a history of shaving: right NOW

- regenerate and degenerate -

by a sex metaphor

we interpret the same texts

- those talking asses

 bomb catches up with our Brahman

some say woman is cloned from an egg

no, tomb is womb, they reckon

some try to clap their hands with one hand

no reasons, no

but the ritual of shaving in both sexes, the hair

 now is a hole with a whole

intentions segment to five portraits of communist revolution

- splintered shaving heads are somewhere

the talking asses, understand?

 don't you mind that you don't have a mind but hair?

   claustrophobia 2

 god's testicles were slashed and stashed away upstairs

we are packed like sardines into a night

train travels in vain: clicking and clanking to the black and red

utopia

no, a dystopia

three monkeys were conceived in a giant leap

industrial revolution turn us into pollution

people still rant about abortion and castration

 I saw your face and I bump into a grimace

kill that dog.  It will not bark

lock up those monkeys. They will not rebel

in this animal farm, I am dragged behind

the black psychic of a schooner of some queer beer

It make the nation opening up

god is alive

 abattoir

 having acted out to kill a MP

people start to believe a 'bad trip'

constitutional wisdom is equal to black

that is white and that is black

fallen angels are being tempted by underground

propaganda, that is:

100% beef topside mince $4.49 a kilo

chicken wings $4.99 a kilo

lamb legs $4.99 a kilo

BBQ thick sausage $1.99 a kilo

lean round steak $5.99 a kilo

tender bone steak $7.99 a kilo

corned silverside $5.99 a kilo

sirloin steak $5.99 a kilo

rump steak $5.99 a kilo

scotch fillet $9.99 a kilo

 - human intestines stir-fried with a bit of red wind -

I shouted

Intellectuals are flayed

Nine peasants are roasted

As my soul is cheap in Glebe morgue

 2 Wonky

 mattress filth lies a mannequin

wonky laugh is however a phone number

Cadillac turns the other way into heaven/hell;

shoes hanging loose with laces disturbingly fragmented

supermarket shaver kissing a pair of knickers

dream represses a loft; Scared

only too used to be scared the Ugly

mind the deviant Decadence, someone thought

no conflicts, no tragedy

absurd-um and residue of genome ...

1838 J. Hogg wed and shed his romantic crime

'ruse of reason'...

all youngsters suspected and yet looked up to

their god-father

backwards toward the Self

other side is pointed by the lay-out of point-out;

just a pair of Reebok

high-tech is now and nay

simulacrum presents the House of Disturbance and Dis-Esriture

system fails and shut down: still files are in the Network

oblivion + ignorance = wonky

 Square

 skeletons are arranged in a yellow rape seeds field

retch your souls out !

growth and embrace stand still in the centre of a square

subtle reactionaries rush towards/away the deinstitution

 mimic smiles are zipped up on the slits of a bald head

fuck you ! you fucking dentist

as well as the liberty of a tooth

it can not undo the knot of a square abattoir

as crimson creeps in

  Patchy rains drops onto your

Corny lips

She is being panicked

The Trains of Memo-ria has run in the Mountains of

Fragmented Recollections of Hers

Inferiority and suicidal lying-down over the rails for the Trains

It has ascended over some Skills of hers

She has no sensible and sensitive passions

Only beastly-like

Only too soft for being purry cat

The self-doubt on the Podium of Monument is pretty vacant

Between the Red Walls the black remembrance and shade

Uphold themselves

The madness of yours and mine twirls high over the Autumn Leaves

They seem to be decadent and listless

There are diagnostics and symmetry

But sighs of Eminence

The ring bells of the Waif Waist starts to tumble and tinkle…

   Poetic weirdness is stuck into the navel of a half crescent

Pollen blows wild

A cross

Blizzard! Stunned! By your paranoid

Numbed by your endless crimson tails

I am being tickled by your Fat bums

Flicking are you in the Flame

A 3-D picture switch to a 2-dimensional flat tron

Back and forth……

That’s it

The euphoria submerged into the dust storm of

Our desert.

Yet the whirlpool of those spirals regenerate our

Very Mirage

Disturbed is the sound that drills with our twenty-one grams of Hearts

Unbearably light and low………

   In the Dark of the Hearts

 wisteria melts its colour in the snow

avanlanch is not for the maniac

I squint from the dark

I see the rattling plastic bags in the caravan

I am not sure of the Together of your hippodrome

on the other side;

is just a war memorial

a view with

an Attitude

in a radical flight

Wings grow later after the delivery

still fledgling

as that is not a farewell because

we have not met yet.

 rainbow testifies itself in the valley

as night approaches

what we need is a dialogue

under the blue winter sky

BEFORE it get ugly

Just when the cloud draws a sketch of Innocence and Indolence

In the dark of the hearts

  Sick colours are manipulated off a Space

Whiteness stabs into a concept called Love

Violence twists the Flesh of a Child

It swallows the flagrance of the Breast Myth

Milk full-cream stalks our Flirts

 Screams are sick on the Hospital beds

Screech is a dagger

Darting

Through the Room unfettered

 The yellow fluids frightens the Horse tails

Copper’s baton.whistles.pistols

Kiss’s women mop up the Red dreams

 Chaos expands

Ambiguity sink in the sands

Repressing the Hell of flirting

Space

It tells…

    Smoked lives

Nothing new will happen

Some scattered thoughts of the No.! vision from the

Atlantis is 101

Navy man smothers the young kisses of Fear

Over herself,, monitored,, is

Money substitutes of Credits and Debts is

H/er story

A strings of histories attaches to the Kite with

Five wings of rings, which is the Olympia Uprising,

Something is left and someone is reigning

Bland is the streamline of convey belt

Bitter cave of naves

Are shone in a beam

    Speaks aloud spoken

- the endless wait…

with me sitting back of the Hill

protruding into the Blackness of a swan

Estuary ~

The down-trodden and mentally disturbed youth;

Ready for a Ride into the heaven of cells of hundreds of

Years confinement with the Megalithic

Monument in the Memoria of this Lonely Planets of a

Cluster’’’

Anchored for the Karma Tantra Mundra and Yantra

It is telling something somehow in Silence

Decline and reclines of Postures are those Demons’ Dances

 Spelt under the Sky we try to tell a

Story; psychic group are weary of the

Glances of those strangers

It is hard to guess –

All is too quick for a lonely gunman

   The grim cloud destroy the angst-driven alcoholic

Only temporary

Transitory is the soft light mix a Fix of noisy Uneasiness

The hue is an happy face

The saturation is a skirt

Is our future a Dream?

A girl opposite to the Chord is expecting

The prelude which is the Impulse

Suddenly the Bats glide in the Night of Phantom of

Imperfections

I woke up

In fright I saw an Embroidery Silk Shoe

Please do not frown

The guilt has turned into the Water Organic

 Ripples is expanding in Virtuality

In Memoria, your facet is in love with the Distance?

Of a Poetic Decease that is

Vomiting the Sorrow of Longevity

Vomiting the Yesteryear’s Shadow

Plus the menstrual blood and filth

It is not the refusal of Hate

The forms and shapes of cloud on the edge of the Sky and You

Has vapoured a red stain in the Idea

I saw you are stripped naked streaking among the Walker and Talkers

In the marble cold Square

- as Shadows of ghosts are stalking you

- since the Law is slightly different to the Morality

 Then the emotional clashes mutate into the Tumour in the Brains

    The lanterns burst in flames

Up to the starry sky;

Wasted, tasted…

The memories of us, now and then

It’s only 40.41.42 and 43 years

Smothered are your constant stares of Emptiness

Smirks and sleeps of a visionary Image of destitude Mist

Are gone with the Wind

It flies high

As we swam down the tide

As it was drizzling.

    The method of slow discovery

 I did not know why before…

The only bliss

Day in and day out…

Mistresses squeal on the Industrial Debris

The Medieval Myth somewhat has wrecked itself

Into a Rubble

Crumble and tumble so far

Night in and night out

People are gossiping the Bottom Line Murder and its Compulsion…

The Doom has its end

Currently ---

We are against the Waves of Raves of indifference

We are against the meaningless freeze of Existence

We are against ---

Life is but a course of action and no-action and non-action…

They again start to brag about the Ruse of Reason and the cause-and-effect

 Trains hisses and fizzes in the Metalicaland

The invisible melody is triste of Sorrow and Pieta

Standing is the Constructed Pile Driver Machine

In far and wide footling lands in the Nightmares of Drum beats of

Cacophony

Now, the Images of a dark night has set in

Cobalt moonlight chaser the Drizzles of

Universe and the Meditation of Tranquility

 I am longing for…

 But It is only a course of certain kind

A Trip of hearts’ journey!

    The shopping spree is stronger than the Digital Desire

People are shrieking

The pollen floats over the soil of Fences

They have a running nose

The spring’s storm is a telephone buzz vanishing in the

Voltage current of the Trams

They are vocalising

We don’t need anything

As the Cat is tasting the cans from the Supermarket

 The bones downstairs connects with my Hands

There is an Entrance Door of a scene of

Resurrection

That was not a reason

Indulgence is not a justifying season

 Breathing hard…

Puffs of some cuffs

 The finger-nails of Positive and Negative are reduced to

Absurdity

Only the dialectic pierce is tender

Dancing full moon is fictitious seven strings

The chord is wonderful

However, their Fear and Threats, still…

Then we are all posing a gesture of Danger

 Life is sweet who would wish to die?

It is the raindrops hitting the Iceberg of the Antarctica

Smile is doubt

Sometimes they need calamity

Of being Calm

Fearless flames unite our Tenderness

The realistic tradition is no infinity

The transaction monetary is not telling a Story

It is but a course

   The shrunk gum of Teeth shone the Sunny craze

In the telephone rings

Sturdy shade is short

In the Sky of Sorrow

Illustrating our Rings of Survivals

The moustache and goatees don’t intent to argue with

Emptiness and Blankness

We met in between the Paranoid’s Rant, Slap-across-the-Faces and photos

Languages stresses your Rouge’n’Noir

When my field of Hearts is being irrigated

 Fallacy is a Medusa shakily drifting around and around

Our regrets are the early experiences and courses of Production

 3 Rant

 Untitled

A free-verse rant like the freckled digits of yesteryear

 The vials of your jelly, across the deck of the insidious creases

Into the hearts of your ac/dc melody

The position is upset

Down the north by south-west, that is our feet direction

While we are wasted in our heads

In the sky !

The polar magnetics attract each other as if in the

Classroom of experimental in the School

Since the steam engine and electric theories were powered

Propelled and sailed Like the dark varrukers Anarchy

Without tanks, fishes and the bullets I bitten

A belt a pistol and the graveyard’s hierarchy

The skins and records

On the turn-tables spin over since the Summer of a four

Digits

Not because we are born for the Facts of Roots

Something is pretty dry

Something is moistened

Something is deep underground,

  Thick dark hair expose your Hands of Azalea Red

Butterflies flutter the Sweet Life

Only the Past of Mountains hook up the Soul

You said, my stares are a bit sore

Your perfume is smelt like a font of Phantom

Your belongings is smelt  here  and  Now

I said something

You said,,

 Withered sunflowers project over the Earth

Is the mad woman

In elongated limps mermaids by the Sea

Shells breathe

Is proportioned to the Flirt

Rifle points to the Vagina of the Girdle

That is a Desert Scenery

In vague.,

 Woke up in the sirens of ambulance and Lullabies

The chords complete are curvaceous

Re-constructed sounds creates another 17

Discordant notes actions of Thoughts are another Praise Song

Beauty is unified and pulled

Beauty is not important here

    This is the monologue of a clown

Olympic committee is holding a conference in Sydney

Utopia has a Gang of Five and its members

The extreme confession owns a Past

Today the weather is nice, very nice

The forecast does not predict that of tomorrow

The theory is grey; the pure is takes of some film shots

Please drink the running water after you wash your hands

It is difficult to find the Water in the desert

Although the running water is bleached,

We can release ourselves in the W.C. of the cinema

The discourse of the Power represent a few Buddha statues, bodisattvas and Dories

The operas have got its tune and beat; vacant and lonely

Criterion, critic plus the footnote and commentary are superb.

Colourful environment is beneficial to the Personal Hygiene

Times has changed and men and women are equal

Aunt Guo has just opened an Auto repair Shop

The technicians are busy working

I gave the Car to the boss to relax

Step forward a bit…

Many problems can not be solved straight away

Returning to the Grassland is not impossible

Equality is always centred ; central is -

Anyhow this is a simple fact.

  Until now we chatted

There is a polluted river

Talk is cheap

Words’ goal is one.

The beast in the cage tears apart the rod

For the sake of Love and Scold

Where is the Ideal and Passion?

Lets start to mention the Fear

The smashed guitar openly announces in full mouth

This is not an unreplaced melody

Her throat was slit with a steel wire.

Gimme pleasure

  Vanishing faces of red and green

The lies on the Side

Drifting away from the Shore

Of my floating mortal coil

Snoozes in the copulation of Flesh and Death

Being here and now

Redenvouz in the Other Space

I touched your lips

The facial is gone in the Morning

Endless…

Another is the trouble of another

It is just a mistake

Blinking melancholy of Lips

Kissing the stairway to the Vain Hope

My wishes are dirt cheap

   With you, in the Square

 Heat wobbles through your swathe of Memory

Groan,purring and growl smut the Dark

Edge that eats up the 69 poses

Waves no longer imitate the mechanic

Motions

There were no Love lotion in your

Dream

night in, night out...

day by day...

Ambient embraces

Shout us a fairy tale of Floss

The nymphs swim and slither over

my Ocean

 day in, night out...

We are together longing for the throbs of

No-space

Negation of a Non-space

Serpent's colours and shapes

Still

Mark and reveal the Images

Phenomenon, which are

Simple

Heat will be with us tonight

In your square

   A Phantom in the Creek

 Ye! The Phantom  is at the arm's length

In my Spright the elf of Anna coles

Haunts the Bits and Bytes of the I.T.

A superhighway of Desires

Indolence is the 18 years old with a Top Gun

Crashed and smashed into the buffalo

Over the rocks of the Solitude

 Yes! The Phantom is looming in the masquerade

With mercy, melancholy and magarain

A tongue licks fast on the Brim

The cloud of your forlorn eyes

Emotions of a 1967 erotica

Simply twists and turns

Only a U-turn recalls the Pieta, Vanitas and Las Vagas

 Yeah! The Phantom is away on the window of the Desert

Our sorrow casts a shadow of Grimace

Over the Psyche, in the name of the Death, Poesy

Nights vapours the flies that

Sneak into our smell

Indolence is a sad washing machine

  no no no

in the trenches of the gunshot wounds

remembrance is the domestic civil war

the parade of Woman's Red Brigade march into

the catwalks of Light Blue sore

such was the dialogue of Freedom Village

 mayhem it was

 Still reek of the disfigured and burned soldiers

Piled in the Square parade

Flag sings in  the Plastic Flowers of dolls

Still aligned to the Meridian of the Zodiac for sure

Time froze till

A romp with the spectators

Is too much of a goose

Gliding into your Oblivion

 Tragedy it was

 Backward glances+flashbacks+demigod status

approximately equals the Sorrow

Of the Nuclear Mushroom cloud flirting

Yes it is true that love can not be borrowed

 Armour it was !

 no no no

in the trenches of the gunshot wounds

remembrance is the domestic civil war

the parade of Woman's Red Brigade march into

the catwalks of Light Blue sore

such was the dialogue of Freedom Village

 mayhem it was

 Still reek of the disfigured and burned soldiers

Piled in the Square parade

Flag sings in  the Plastic Flowers of dolls

Still aligned to the Meridian of the Zodiac for sure

Time froze till

A romp with the spectators

Is too much of a goose

Gliding into your Oblivion

 Tragedy it was

 Backward glances+flashbacks+demigod status

approximately equals the Sorrow

Of the Nuclear Mushroom cloud flirting

Yes it is true that love can not be borrowed

 Armour it was !

  untitled 171108

 means of engaging with human rights status quo by willingly taking over the

good intentions of neo-liberal state

it has increasingly withdrawn the focus strictly on art's content

to fill the gaps left with reasons why a number of co-ordinated donations

and freedom cultural and its destruction of its collections of

a collective concern

human rights struggles long after its occurence, its maintenance

it has been a collaboration's goal

successes thus depends on a concentrated

respects for different intents

and psyche, immersive drones of two-pieces

themselves, their own benefits

and recordings

the project really took off

what has been documented here is only scrapings

applicable to Spanish Magic and other factors

either in abundance or sadly

it zeros in on the process

not something more Spanish magic

lo-fi duo win over the sinks to heil spirits

and the missing links

rock the horse in 2008

80's might not have stood a chance

only time will tell.

 to discover the tactics is to rediscover 465 of disused railway yards

of darling harbour and the sound of Sounds

unpoliced and unregulated in a way

the textures are shared

neoliberal going there

and traction of each in the glosses

 an incredible band and a lots of bands

  You say, I say

 to pixy

 mermaids swim against

the wind in the sky

along the ocean road of pains

ages of expectation lie by your side

 slithering was your scarlet impressed

writhe-ring flowers had me arrested

waiting is a mind game

my heart sadden timid and tame

 dance dance to the bass beats

our imaginations perform best feats

wicked are those sublime fairies

submarine seewees twist my beings hairy

 wisteria creeps up your heart of walls

wedges squeeze your very angle of falls

my love cream molten away

be a smooth operator, you say

be a smooth operator, I say

  YOU vibrate to the beats of a solo act

my kunadili is risen to the

swirls of an Union

twirls of the Ruptures

surrendering the surrendered

Gaze

 I can feel your Cosmic Dance

Returned to the loop of a Resonance

Rotated to the Total Embrace of Succulence

Yieldingly

Peach-flowers have been

In bloom

In the fields of

Grace

 In the steam there is a tune

A melody swishing in the mountains of Love

Pieta and Melancholy and

Your face

 YOU vibrate to the feats of our Imagination

In this mortal coil

An act without audience

In silence

Heart against heart

Heavy pounding and thudding provoke the Providence

Of a taste

 I can not yell that I LOVE YOU

Because you are so far away in the Gaze

I can not yell that I LOVE YOU dream-lover

Because you are so close in the Glaze

 So its resonated again over again in our Cosmic

Dance of a trance

 4 Seals

 Seals of our six’n’sevens are stamped onto our vulnerable skins

Love is evolving

All we need is evoling Love

Objective in a subjunctive mood

Installed is the Object Love that circulates around

Such are your poses, your stains and pains

The florescent tubes brighten and dim the horns of the

Colourful ghosts runs

Thus, the rashes of our Spectrum rant in the Concrete Boxes

Thus, the innuendo of our Love is rejected, refused and gagged

   Smouldering is our Love

…12,13,14,15…

Smoke is far away

It is destructive no more, you say

Come on

Groan and grunt were 12 years ago

Mystery was coming

Artery I felt and your veins I witnessed

 Smouldering was the Past in present tense

Future is now and

Our futuristic worries smother a Thought

Mother tongue was arbitrary

So a spirit translates itself in the Court of Poetic Justice

After all it wasn’t a crime being a Smooth Co-ordinator

   As we approached the Fed Square not Time Square nor the Red Square,

Fifteen degree

The funny fanny wedges away like the balloons of Orlando

So I looked back and saw a Wolf; Mum is talking again to me

Wicked laughs echoed in a Six_Dimensional Seascape

So I looked back over again

Nothing but a cat was teasing, purring and tantalizing the crowd

And the Rising Cobra

Music was mesmerising around us

They were pretty clicky

Then we tried hard to be nitty-gritty

The moon would not tell us all

Only the toad in the sugar-cane field illuminated

   albatoir

 having acted out to kill a mp

people start to believe a 'bad trip'

constitutional wisdom is equal to black

that is white and that is black

fallen angels are being tempted by underground

propaganda, that is:

100% beef topside mince $4.49 a kilo

chicken wings $4.99 a kilo

lamb legs $4.99 a kilo

BBQ thick sausage $1.99 a kilo

lean round steak $5.99 a kilo

tender bone steak $7.99 a kilo

corned silverside $5.99 a kilo

sirloin steak $5.99 a kilo

rump steak $5.99 a kilo

scotch fillet $9.99 a kilo

 - human intestines stir-fried with a bit of red wine -

I shouted

Intellectuals are flayed

Nine peasants are roasted

As my soul is cheap in Glebe morgue

  Since the trumpets and trombones were blown……

 Feeling are the wings clipped as the sea-gals glide across the Y river

We went up to the balcony of the lounge

Thursday Thursday nights were the darkness of silence

After the underground had the times changed in the wind

In the names of the tainted Love

Uneasiness jumps jams and jinxes at the intersection of

A path:

Our hearts of wails remorse and wrinkles of a hidden Angst

Pumped 70 times per minute

When you rode the pony

When you were young

When we showered off the aftermath of responsibilities well-beings

And crises

 It is called…

It is called…

In the vicinity of our Brittle Dreams which are scaffolding a

Framework of the futuristic noisy tantrum

It was called as

The wind, trumpets and trombones were blown…

  I screamed into the Void

and discovered the Real you

Reflected in the constant reminder of

a longing for the Future

 Your Uranus curve girdles our special dimension

In the Cyberspace without your portraiture of a

Past

Concrete is the music

Yet the trip is beyond our Galaxy

Resonance is the sound without feelings

In the mist of our evening twilight

Here comes the rain again.

Here comes the rain again !

 In the darkness of some aesthetic of Saxophone,

Surfaces of sensualities and shapes of Danger's

Freedom looms around

We will set free again

In the wildness of some kooky memories of Spoken words spoken,

Fog of uncertainties now and then...

Being affected has no reasons at all.

  In our slumbers there once was a story

Not to be told

Your yellow smileys are coming as a grimace of

The pace of walking into the Unknown

A ghostly spectrum of mists in the early evenings

Looming in the Distance

 Smile is your face of Flowers longing for the Radiance

Oh! Something is in the way

Our experimental stares are timid

 Sonnet-Elf

 The dark cloud dissolve some entities of elves

As I fainted over and over on the ground

Why don't we dance to the wild beats ourselves

Because last night I went up there but never found

Your moon-lit face was sunken in the tainted mirth

As I've been waiting for a tantalizing kiss

Yet what I am left is dull and plain piss

Maybe you know too well the ecstasy of pains of birth

As a sprinkle of morning dew will cleanse off painted filth

Since the congealed blood scarlet evokes to my lost mind

- Loneliness of longings and belongs within it dwells

With elf, nymph and pixy flying low

Advertising something special and spectacular for sell

Love's shadow of lust tilts from toe to toe

Ah! the purple haze shrouds your beguiling souls!

[melleonis]

hey i’m gonna vent about some shit cw for like uhhhhhhhh suicide codependency n the Absolute Fuckery that comes with being a trans woman

PART I

i haven’t really talked about the living situation i just got out of on here, except sort of obliquely or in terms of isolated aspects of it. anyway this past summer someone i sort of knew from high school (A) walked into the liquor store i was working in at the time, so i was like hey. and then she came back with her boyfriend (J) and their friend and then suddenly i had a friend group, and pretty soon a d&d group, and we were all trans and/or queer, and that was a markedly positive change in my life.

there were red flags, however. A id’s as lesbian but is dating a trans man (gender is complicated, so maybe valid? but) who is 24 while she is 33 (nine-year age gap a hell of a thing) & also she was his high school biology teacher. sometimes when he talks about this fact she screams at him to stop. she has a problem with him smoking weed. she has a problem with his paganism. and like, i don’t think she’s intentionally cruel or monstrous? but she actively avoids, like, dealing with her shit ever, and bipolar or not, no one else is responsible for her behavior.

so, naturally, i got involved with her. briefly, and above both belt and board. and then she got too invested in me, told J she wasn’t sure she was in love with him anymore, and broke up with me. so that hurt, and we kept our distance for a bit.

and then i quit my liquor store job, which had turned abusive, and had to move out of my apartment - which is fine, because one of my housemates was some alt-right white supremacist fuckhead and i wanted to get out of there anyway - and A & J were like well...we have a guest bedroom. and what i had was a paucity of good options, so. i lived with them for four months while i got two new jobs. i don’t mean to sound ungrateful. i’m not ungrateful. but my gratitude has to be tempered by some facts, namely: 1) A still wanted to fuck me; 2) couldn’t; 3) resented me for it; and 4) would sometimes lash out at me because of it. and after i had a conversation with her about how we had become codependent and needed very badly to not be codependent, she...essentially stopped talking to me at all. descended into a frigid hostility. i barely left my room.

so, as soon as i had the money to get out, i put a deposit down on a place, and three days before i moved out she tried to kill herself. tried to talk J into killing himself with her. i was maybe seven or eight feet away at the time. so i bugged out and crashed on my brother’s couch, and she went to the hospital, but returned in time to be exactly as icy toward me as she had been.

so that was traumatic.

PART II

i’ve mentioned, i think, something about how long it’s been since i had sex with anyone. (you understand, i use sex as metonymy for, like, sexual/romantic intimacy, right? i don’t care about getting off, i just desperately, desperately need to touch and be touched, see and be seen. you understand this.) and the line i’ve been using with myself about this is something like ‘yeah i may be a transgender lesbian converting to judaism in fucking arkansas, but like can you imagine how hard it’d be for me if i weren’t pretty?’ only, i’m not sure being pretty is actually helping me at all here. like, people are attracted to me often enough (i think. i’m Actively Bad at interpreting people’s attitudes toward me specifically. i have no idea how to get better at it. but, just statistically speaking, i can’t be wrong about everyone i think probably wants to fuck me at least a little. and i am, genuinely, in fact, pretty.)

The Problem Is: women being attracted to me does not make them not transphobic, or, like, not straight. or not a chaser, or any number of things that make someone legitimately damaging for someone like me to be with.

The Problem Is: i am borderline and transgender, and so rejection will probably always feel like someone has taken a sledgehammer to the kneecaps of my validity as a person

The Problem Is: not having been touched by someone i didn’t regret in half a decade has reduced me to a raw sucking wound of need, which a) not a selling point; b) is making me much stupider about pretty women, when c) i was already very, very stupid about pretty women to begin with.

so, just to isolate a single instance from the fucking multi-hit combo of romantic disappointment from the past few weeks, two nights ago when my brother’s gorgeous punk rocker coworker flirts with me (and does she mean anything by that? i will never know) and i mention this to my brother’s best friend - who is trans - and they say “oh, i wouldn’t. she has a lot of internalized, like, homophobia. some transphobia. is Not Open to people talking to her about that,” that...feels real fucking bad, because, like, that’s not about someone not being interested, that’s about me never having any prospects because of What I Am.

and like i could be doing worse. i’m sufficiently in control of myself that when some 20-year-old trans kid propositions me, i can gently turn them down. my problem vis-a-vis that one 18yo coworker has become a “hey, be mindful of yourself and your behavior” problem and less of a “throw yourself out the window” problem. (the fact that it sometimes takes a lot of work for me to be a minimally decent human being doesn’t mean i expect a fuckin cookie for doing that. i’m just noting that i am still capable of doing that work and don’t need to quarantine myself.)

so anyway in the midst of a morass of romantic/sexual angst, gender insecurity, financial anxiety, and finally having the space to decompress from the latest in a long line of traumatic living situations, i get home from work last night and find a christmas postcard in the mailbox from an ex in Singapore, and spend several minutes sobbing on the floor. it’s good. i was long overdue for a cry.

[agnesgoesadventuring-blog]

Honestly as a bi person the C/R fandom’s attitude towards bi people can be very frustrating. There was debate over whether Tary was gay or bi and the moment he was confirmed gay there were some mean spirited posts going “fuck you for thinking he was bi”. And Molly is confirmed bi/pan but I have yet to see him shipped with a woman and if he was I worry people might start sending anons like “wow you’re a homophobe for not shipping these other popular Molly ships.” Seen it happen in other fandoms.

(Part 2 of biphobia anon) Also, Yasha. While I absolutely agree with the collective fandom headcanon that Beau is a lesbian, this rush to claim Yasha as a lesbian and ignore any possibility of being bi rubs me the wrong way. In the first ep, obviously she and Beau had a bigger moment, but she and Fjord were kinda flirting. I mean, that shaving Caleb moment was potentially shippy, and yet I think people are afraid to ship her with anyone but other women, even though nothing is confirmed by Ashley(Biphobia anon, part 3) I realize all this might come off as “waaahhh but what about the het ships” but that’s my point that those ships wouldn’t be het. If people started h/cing Yasha as bi or pan and shipping her with dudes, there would 100% be comments saying they’re only doing it bc they don’t want to ship a gay ship or bc they have het goggles on to deny B/Y, never mind that Beau gets shipped with other women despite all the B/Y. And I love B/Y, but I worry about the possessive attitude.(Biphobia anon, last part hopefully) or Allura- she’s confirmed bi but I would be shocked if anyone accepted a crackship between her and a man even though they’d accept crackships of her and women. Because she’s in a big f/f ship, her bisexuality is ignored/erased by fandom. Keyleth & Vax never stopped anyone from shipping Vax with dudes, but popular gay ships w bi characters stops people from shipping the bi characters with other genders bc it somehow erases their sexuality (it really doesn’t).

It seems like there's been a sort of over correction, the pendulum swinging too far to the other side.

As I've said so many times before, the discussion about the heteronomative culture we live in leading to m/f ships in general being the most represented and m/f bi ships being less effective as queer representation in general is an important one that needs to be had. It's a problem that needs to be acknowledged and remembered.

But a lot of behavior toward bi characters and their ships ended up swinging way past that and into this area where bi characters in m/f ships, whether those ships are canon or fanon, are dismissed at best and blatantly attacked as "not good enough" or characterized as being bigoted or hateful at worst. It's led to this fandom culture where so many people (and I specify, not everyone, because clearly people flip out and try to misrepresent your words if you allow it to merely be implied) treat the only valid queer ships, or the only valid ships for queer characters, are same gender ships.

And that really ignores a lot of the nuance of the discussion around bisexual representation. Because while the over representation of m/f ships in general and the heteronormative culture making m/f ships less effective as queer representation less effective is something that needs to be recognized, it also needs to be recognized that there are a lot of problems in a great deal of the way m/f bisexual relationships are presented that lead to some negative and problematic cultural perceptions of bisexual people in relationships with a different gender. Things like a character being labeled as being bi, but then never actually demonstrating attraction to characters of the same gender when they're in a m/f relationship, or treating past relationships with people of the same gender as a phase and erasing their bisexuality. Among other things. That's something that needs to be acknowledged as well. And it needs to be recognized that positive portrayals of bisexual characters in m/f relationships that don't do the above things can be really important in that regard.

Thankfully, we live in a world where more than one thing can be important at a time. The importance of one thing doesn't remove the importance of another thing.

That's especially true when it comes to people identifying personally with characters and ships, being drawn to ships that represent what they most feel matches their experiences and identity and being happy to have something that represents that. It's possible to be disappointed that a certain kind of representation didn't happen without ignoring the fact that another kind of representation can be incredibly important to other people.

And that goes for people's headcanons and fanon ships as well. Wanting a character to be a certain sexuality, wanting them to have a certain kind of relationship, hoping for and feeling that it's important doesn't mean you have to dismiss and attempt to invalidate those things for another person. As long as they're not erasing the fact that a character is queer, they're perfectly valid in wanting those things that appeal to and connect to them personally. And shipping a bi character or a potentially bi character with a character of a different gender is not erasing their sexuality.

We're still at the point in season 2 where none of the characters' sexual identities have been definitively confirmed. We know that Beau is interested in women and that Molly enjoys sex with both men and women. Beyond that, nothing for any of the characters is confirmed. Beau could be gay, bi, pan, aromantic, demisexual, etc. Molly could be bi, pan, asexual, aromantic, etc. And most of the other characters could be pretty much anything at this point. There might be some people who have to reassess their ships, or the way they frame their ships, once definitive confirmation for these characters is provided. But right now, most of this stuff we just don't know. In general, people insisting that others adhere to what they think the characters are and how they think they should be shipped just isn't okay. That's especially true of treating people like they can't ship potentially bi character in m/f relationships, or acting like doing so is bigoted and hateful.

Acting like there is something inherently wrong with shipping bi characters in m/f relationships really is erasure. And gatekeeping. And just awful behavior overall.

In general, this fandom isn't great when it comes to non-monosexual identities. I've experienced first hand the way asexual people and people with aroace headcanons are treated, and I'm sure most people who follow me have seen it as well. So much ignorance about asexual and aromanticism, so much hostility toward ace/aro headcanons (that usually demonstrate ignorance as well). It's hard to find people who discuss the possibility of characters being pansexual, and really the same issue that exists with the treatment of bi characters, ships, and headcanons would exist there as well. Erasure, exclusion, and gatekeeping happens a great deal, and it's incredibly disappointing, especially considering how open and inclusive the cast of the show is. It's a shame that so many people don't follow their example.

[creativepractice]

3.Research of Documentary topic #2 ‘Going Gay’ ‘Girl Crush’

Self-sexualisation – Allen and Gervais

Women presenting themselves in sexualised manner or as a sexual object for others

Megan Yost and Lauren Mcarthy

Investigation into the prevalence and reason for heterosexual women kissing each other at social events (Parties, Clubs etc) and despite this behaviour no one considered them to be a part of the LGBT+ community.

Statistics of Megan Yost and Lauren Mcarthy (USA) - 69% of people had seen 2 women kissing at a university social gathering - 33% of straight women reported kissing another women at a university social gathering

Reasons

56% of straight women said for male attention (boyfriend or potential partner)

43% of straight women thought it contributed to the part atmosphere

42% of straight women said it was because they were drunk

26% of straight women said female bonding

23% of straight women said sexual experimentation

22% of straight women said shock value

16% of straight women said to obtain resources like money or alcohol

‘Going Gay for Ruby Rose’ 

Statement from Ruby Rose made to the Huffington Post

"I have a couple of friends who don’t feel very warm towards it," "They’re like, ‘Are you offended?’ They personally are offended by it saying like, ‘You can’t just choose to be gay. You should say something about all these women that are saying [they’re] turning gay or realizing [they’re] gay.’

"I, personally, think that the moments we try to nitpick who can and can’t say that they are genderqueer or gender-neutral or trans, or who’s gay or who’s bi -- who are we to tell other people how they can live their lives and what they can tweet and what they can say? It’s really none of our business. I think we should let people go and say what they want to."

Opposing view

Madeline Davis - JezeBel  18/06/15

Article title: ‘Being straight and having a crush on Ruby Rose doesn’t make you edgy’ 

 ‘’A quick Google search proves that Ruby Rose has become the latest name on the shortlist of female celebrities who straight girls can safely admit to having the hots for without ever experiencing the judgement that bisexual and lesbian women deal with on a regular basis.’’

 ‘’Type ‘Ruby Rose’ and ‘crush’ into the Twitter search bar and you’ll find an endless number of straight girls boasting about their crushes on Rose, which would be cool (and great proof that sexual orientation isn’t as fixed) if it wasn’t so goddamn disingenuous.’’

‘’But let’s try not to be so braggy and self-congratulatory about it, okay? Being attracted to Ruby Rose doesn’t make you open-minded or edgy. Being attracted to Ruby Rose makes you a person with functioning eyes.’’

Evie Hartly – HuffPost UK 17/06/15

Article title: ‘Straight Women are saying they’d  ‘Go Gay’ for OITNB’s Ruby Rose and Queer women are not happy about it’

"I take offence to comments such as 'turning gay' or 'girl crushing' as I feel it delegitimates my sexuality. These comments throwaway the fact that being lesbian is not a choice.

"Language, in any aspect, that insinuates that being LGBT is a choice makes it more difficult for people who struggle with their sexuality, or aren't in the position where they can be safe."

My reflective and critical thoughts 

This is a collection of research involving ‘Going Gay’ and ‘Girl Crushes’ involving straight women. After carrying out my research I thought that this would be an interesting subtopic to briefly discuss in my documentary. I found it very much interesting that In Yost and Mcarthy’s study that out of all the reasons they discovered that the highest percentile for straight women kissing other women was for male attention. Despite straight women in Phul’s study not showing an overtly sexual attitude towards lesbians they still contribute to the notions that lesbians are there for sexual viewership and pleasure. This is a belief and issues that is upheld by both men and women despite the issue’s primary being about men’s relationship to queer women. 

The going gay for Ruby Rose was a phenomenon that can illicit polarising views. In my research I found that Ruby Rose said it was okay and referenced it as ‘nit-picking’ whereas other queer women started they found it damaging to the community and made it feel like it was trend. I think the ‘Going gay for Ruby Rose’ is an issue that can be greatly compared to the rise in big companies ‘Pride’ clothing and objects being sold by major clothing and brand companies. Some people view it has refreshing to be able to see companies such as Nike, H&M and even Nando’s showing support for the LGBT communities. However, some argue that they are profiting of marginalised people as many companies do not always donate a large portion of any profit to LGBT+ charities leading to many people calling it distasteful. Whereas companies like Morphe who’s 100% of its profits from its pride pallet went to LGBT+ charities has been praised. This can be compared as it has become ‘trendy’ to throw a pride flag up in chain companies during pride month, but its elements of harm can be viewed as minimal as 20 or even 10 years ago you would not find the companies doing the same thing. Much like the Ruby Rose issues. Straight women saying that they would ‘go gay’ for ruby rose is jumping on a trend in my viewpoint to maybe seem ‘edgy’ but it does not cause any further harm or damage in my belief. It’s a frustrating situation and continue to add to the sexualisation of queer women but once again 20 or even 10 years ago straight women would not be going out their way to state that they would go gay for someone. It is progression in the world of consumerism and a world slowly starting to understand the LGBT+ community as a whole. 

Links to resources

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/06/17/oitnb-go-gay-ruby-rose_n_7601532.html

https://jezebel.com/being-straight-and-having-a-crush-on-ruby-rose-doesnt-m-1712328184

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/ruby-rose-sex-appeal_n_7616274?ri18n=true

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/power-and-prejudice/201207/girls-kissing-girls-0