#mike weird birds

[roxxywolf-multiversa]

Mike fanart.

Mike from the YouTube series weird birds character by archesuchus here’s the video where they mention there little story also they have a part 2 as well. I made a fanart of Mike’s flok the lil bird in the picture in the fanart

[pr1mrosez]

people are way too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

@kat-xox @cullenalices @kwiwrites

[bugpoasting]

watched the monkees fairy tale episode and um. yup its just as much as y'all have gassed it up that was Insane

[illubean]

Could I get headcanons for Feitan, Illumi, Leorio, and Chrollo falling for gn!reader who by all means seems like a strong, nuturing, emotionally stable individual but every once in awhile casually says or does smthin that makes people go "Oh you're a little fuckin nuts, actually"

(e.x.: Most of their D.I.Y. furniture is made of different kinds of bone, morbidly interested in the more gorey parts of their jobs, probably works in a field that allows them to be around the dead often like a taxidermist or a mortitian, highkey just unabashashedly a morbid little freak™️ whenever it comes up naturally in conversation but otherwise comes across as just an attentive lil guy you could bring home the average parents would love.)

HXH Men with a Morbid!S/o

Characters: Leorio Paladaknight, Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor Type: Headcanons, Gn!reader

this is so me

Warnings: dead things and body parts and stuff

Leorio Paladaknight

being an aspiring doctor, Leorio thought that your knowledge on both human and animal anatomy was pretty useful

at first he didn't think much about your job and just assumed you were some type of doctor or biologist or something

he often asks you questions as he studies and you're a pretty good tutor

the first time Leorio realized you were kinda weird is when one day you were walking down the street and saw some roadkill

and you were like "aww too bad, the skin and bones are too damaged to harvest"

and you kept walking like it was normal while he was like ?!!??!?

or you guys were having a normal conversation and you say something like

"if you died i'd taxidermy you and re-articulate your skeleton so you'd be with me forever <3"

1 taxidermizing humans is illegal and 2 WHAT

he is cold sweating wtf did he get himself into

when he comes to your house for the first time and sees a bunch of bones, animal skins and wet specimens he damn near passes the fuck out

how do you just casually have dead things and remains around your house!?

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MADE YOUR COFFEE TABLE OUT OF CAMEL BONES?

he is freaking the fuck out and you're just like "dw everything is ethically sourced :D"

yeah he thinks you're a freak and he is too fearful to break up with you ever (not like he was planning to anyways)

Illumi Zoldyck

whatever drew Illumi to you had to have been some type of power

aside from that power, to Illumi you were relatively normal and had a good grip on your emotions which made you a perfect candidate

that being said he could care less what your job was, you'd just end up working for or with him eventually

when he started bringing you around the estate, you often sought out their guard dog Mike and Illumi couldn't think of why

that is until you came back one day with a human femur and bright smile on your face

"... where did you even get that?" "From one of Mike's victims. If I collect enough I could make a whole set of bar stools!"

he blinked at you and chose to ignore your statement

i mean, to each their own am i right?

so you have ah hobby, big deal

Illumi just thinks you're pretty normal personality wise until you randomly but casually drop information about what you do in your free time or have in your home

so now whenever he has a job Illumi calls you in for cleanup

you get to do.... whatever it is you do and there's no evidence of a dead body left behind, it's a win win

Chrollo Lucilfer

he couldn't care less what your job is because it's probably not worse than his 😭

he didn't really notice anything "morbid" about you until he asked about your jewlery

you wore things like resin caster bug pendants or bird skull earrings and stuff

he just assumed they were fake and you bought them because they looked badass

but then you told him you make it all YOURSELF

he is intrigued

he doesn't really question you past that because you were probably buying the bones and stuff somewhere (spoiler alert you're not)

what really caused him to think was when you casually just picked up a dead rat off the floor in some abandoned building you were exploring and suck it in your pocket

bro was so confused

"What do you need that for?" "To make a new necklace :3"

yeah now he knows that your odd taste in jewelry goes deeper than just that

he won't judge you though, if anything you're a better person than he is considering you don't kill things yourself

he is literally a murderer and a thief and has committed like 3467633788 crimes so he couldn't judge even if he wanted to

so now when he sees dead animals and what not he bags them up and brings them to you

he likes to sit in on your cleaning and making process

you seem like a perfectly normal and sweet person to everyone else but Chrollo knows about your freaky little hobby and it just makes him like you even more

Feitan Portor

I feel like for you and Feitan to even be acquainted you have to be part of the troupe

whatever you do outside of it is your business

buttttttt since you are his s/o and Feitan is probably homeless he crashes wherever you are

thus him finding out about your hobby and other job

out of everyone on this list he is the most interested

he too is a morbid little freak

he goes with you to find things and will help you with the cleaning/taxidermy or whatever process if you let him

what he doesn't understand though is why you don't just kill the things you want instead of hunting for already dead things

sometimes he will go catch like a squirrel or something and bring it back to you like a cat and tell you he found it like that

Fei baby. No the fuck you didn't

after doing what you're doing for so long you can tell what caused an animal to die but you wouldn't tell him that

he's just so cute and wants to be supportive of your hobby <3

[prescotted]

here is a huge and unnecessary post about josh and chris because i like to talk about them and i like to make huge metas for no reason: this was technically like five posts i just made into one, so enjoy, fam. some of the hyperlinks link to my writing blog's posts, those are also mine for reference.

i've always argued that josh and chris have this very strong bond. i want to start by saying i absolutely adore their friendship. i think it's so important overall to the story, so any inferences we receive are mostly probably by some artists on the team that can get away with it. especially with the remake, seeing fan reactions now, it wasn't hard to slip chris 4 josh in there but notice it's not like chris <3 josh or chris + josh, it's still sort of vague enough that like "yeah, i'm here for you, bro!" or "i like you". i think it's intentionally vague to affirm some but not really piss anyone else off. chris is a goofy guy, and also we now know that's josh's truck for sure. makes sense. it's been there a while.

i've talked about all of that in multiple different posts. if you want to read them: chris 4 josh which goes over other relationships with josh and how i see ships with him, etc, and also is more "fair" and less biased towards "climbing class" or what i now just call "chris 4 josh" (and subsequently all my ship tags now follow that for consistency) bc i kinda like that better? climbing class always was a little goofy for my tastes personally, but they are goofy, so it does work, but also ... there's no real connection between them and the climbing class line, it's just kind of a joke? but i get it, there's not a lot of content, but i am here to petition for chris 4 josh as the new ship name. also ... just kind of weird that jossam shippers don't call it "bathing bird" as their ship name? or actually thirty love is a better ship name tbh. go with that. thirty love. not my ship, but there are better names than jossam, i think.

how does everyone in the ud group know each other?

a question about why josh "victimizes chris" and how their relationship should be viewed more critically.

i think josh has other friend groups and the ud kids aren't his main posse, but chris is his best friend.

i've harped on and on about how chris is the main champion for josh's mental health ... that he is the one that truly knows "the most" about josh, despite josh lying to him, too. josh lies to everyone. he's never been really honest with people, always divulging a sort of half-truth or version of himself (his best self) for people to consume more easily.

also, let's give chris some credit here, because he gets shit on a lot for being so inactive in the basement scene.

but think about what he has gone through compared to, say, mike. shocking, right? because mike is doing so much! but what has mike been doing before all of this? before jessica gets taken? having a great fucking time. he's scaring his friends, having snowball fights, getting catty in the lodge with matt if you choose to do-so or just watching his two love interests have at it, jokes with jess all the way there, has a scary moment and runs, then gets to try and fuck her all before getting into his more serious character arc. this is all purposeful, i'm not mad at mike for this. we need this to happen to him, right? to show that he's actually super capable, cares, and will go the distance. mike is the man you want going after you, no question. he is insane for going so hard after jessica, and continuing to pursue onward instead of going back. insane in a good way. i can see why he thinks he can be president.

but chris ... by comparison? not going so great. he's worried about josh, he's already had to climb over the wall before sam, has had to encourage sam to come, has to assuage her this is a good idea, all while trying to check in on josh, trying to have fun, trying to be a good guy with ashley, trying to be the funny guy, having to go through the lodge because josh told him to with a lighter, gets attacked by a wolverine, gets made fun of all while trying to be fun about it himself, goes through the whole ouija thing, goes through the whole basement thing, goes through the saw choice, goes through trying to find sam, goes through having to choose between himself and ashley, goes through josh's reveal, goes through having to tie josh up, goes through having to go back for josh as the only one willing to do so, sees josh might be gone and dead, sees the stranger die, gets attacked, and then almost dies before he gets to the basement? he is honestly exhausted. let someone else have the trauma stick. it's not his time anymore. he deserves to be more inactive towards the end. he just carried the game for us.

but josh cares for chris, chris cares for josh. i won't repeat all my other metas because this is a new meta.

when chris is told that josh's body can't be recovered? he's all but about to cry. he's had to lose josh so many times. he really thought josh might pull it out of the hat again just one last time. that he could be alive.

i've mentioned i think for the remake both endings for sam and josh are just outright lame. josh because it detracts from his narrative, sam because it's just plot holes for days and is unnecessary. as a roleplayer or fanfic writer? good stuff, mostly for josh, but as an actual game that isn't catering to the 1-10% of roleplayers and fanfic writers out there? bad decision. josh deserves redemption, but the horror of it all is that he cannot achieve it, instead being consumed by the same thing that consumed his sister(s). josh is doomed by the narrative more than anyone else because the narrative is mostly his story and the story of his family. you're not there for any reason other than josh as the player, he's called us here so we have answered his call (to greatness).

in the beta, josh outright denies sam, who is outright coming onto him. this isn't a sam comparison post btw, that's not what this is. but in the beta, he's still very devoted to chris, even more openly kind of too much. in the game we get, that angle is sort of scrapped entirely. josh and sam have their dynamic, chris and josh are best friends, sam and chris seemed to have some implied thing (ik i write her as a lesbian but i am a slave to canon, folks, chris could very well have been her intended love interest lmao), and chris likes ashley, and thus ashley likes chris. we get a structure of intentional coupling: josh and sam are single, ash and chris are the will they / won't they, and then we have the other four paired together kind of interchangeably (ik matt and jess aren't canon, but there's kind of an implied history with how easily they go after each other, at least in a friend way). this helps not isolate non-couple players. it's a game mechanic thing.

but what's interesting is how josh, who has a lot of front-facing conversations with chris, looks at him?

he's always got a kind of ... i don't want to say tenderness, but definitely a more authentic way of being, even when acting. he is acting to these kids as himself, which is why josh is so believable. josh plays josh very well.

he's looking at chris. in the original, it's the same, but much harder to see (model placement, camera placement, lighting, shading, etc). here, it's much more upfront and obvious, even without my psd. josh looks chris up and down, bites his lip, and nods. that's a very specific way to look at someone. i'll leave that up to you to interpret.

and just more pics of josh smiling at chris i guess.

to me, i think josh probably liked chris, felt it wasn't received, encouraged him to date ashley, got mad about it, then got mad at chris for still liking ashley even after the prank, and sort of maybe punished him a bit for that but mostly made chris "his hero" for "his movie". you don't make someone your hero without really having an infinity for them, romantic or not.

chris has always valued josh as his highest even seeing him at his lowest. saying josh isn't on his meds if you don't find all the right clues isn't something was in hannah's diary, that is something chris knows about josh.

i think chris has come to the closest to knowing the real josh. he's the only one, i think, who notices when he's gone.

josh's sexuality is a whole other post, but i always tend to (when i play) go with "women make me uncomfortable" based on how he acts with his sisters, sam, ashley, chris, mike, matt, emily, and jess respectively. but in theory, the option 'men make me uncomfortable' is also correct (and canon). in short: everyone makes josh uncomfortable.

when josh tells chris to shut up and chris just does, i think that really should tell us what we need to know.

josh is great to goof with, but don't piss him off. chris knows to listen to josh if josh is being serious with him ... because josh is never serious about anything.

chris will submit to josh's more forceful will and doesn't seem to really care if josh basically demeans him (too much, there's a limit, chris isn't a total pushover or anything). it's not a nice way to tell your friend to be quiet, no one likes being told to shut up (in a non-playful way).

he's likely also being gracious to josh because of the situation. chris is more willing to "take it" from josh in that way because josh is going through a lot. i don't think josh is outright mean to chris, he doesn't bully him too bad (just calls him a big boy and teases him), but josh can act kind of stressed out sometimes, which i think chris accepts and tries to sort of help josh "feel better" through ... but can't really do anything about it. he's not in that position. he's just his friend. what can he do?

josh and chris have codependency, but chris and josh act very autonomously outside of each other. josh doesn't need chris to help him with the prank, he does that alone. chris doesn't need josh to spend time with ashley, he does that a lot by himself, likely a point of contention, and also awkward when the three of them hang (yet somehow kind of cool, because they keep doing it).

i would argue "josh needs chris more than chris needs josh" ... on the surface. when looking at their relationship, chris i think very much sees himself as needing josh. josh, for him, was a cooler "older kid" who arguably isn't even that much older (chris only moved ahead one grade, he's literally the same age as sam and hannah and beth, like), but when you're that age, even a year feels like a lifetime. josh provides chris a confidence in himself he cannot seem to achieve on his own ... until josh pushes him to. just like josh pushes chris to achieve confidence with ashley in the game, something josh himself says that chris needs.

for josh, chris is what keeps him "normal". things aren't so bad when his friend is around. so he needs him around all the time to keep things from not getting bad.

josh has all these things going on: rich kid, mentally ill, incidents at school, a sort of semi-unstable home life in the sense that i describe his parents as very "presently absent" or "absently present" depending on how you think about it ig. they are there but they are not. josh has them but he doesn't. he's always had his sisters, though, and then they're not there, so he has chris, because chris has always been there, and he can't have anything happen to him, right? that would just make josh fall apart.

but he clearly loves his sisters more than anything: josh was planning to "join them", so he was prepared to leave chris behind, something that chris struggles with. if josh dies, what will he do?

chris is inherently, in my mind, stronger than josh. he can withstand more than josh can while remaining sound, logical, and stable. josh is great in normal situations, but not in bad ones. chris is good at keeping josh from falling apart, but he's just one guy, and josh's problems are bigger than them.

and actually, last part about chris and josh, because i didn't even feel like it was worth mentioning directly but i guess i realized this matters a lot to people's view: their stats.

josh and chris always have the highest stats with each other basically no matter what you do. sure, they can drop a bit if you choose ash over josh because josh will remember that, but ... it's very marginal by comparison to how drastically relationships (and traits) can change.

but josh is always the highest stat for chris and chris for josh (chris 4 josh, you could say).

okay, that's actually a little unfair: what i should say is generally chris views ash and josh pretty similarly, which is interesting on its own, but for josh, chris is his highest stat.

viewing josh and ash the same is actually a major contention point for josh, i think. how can chris view her so highly so quickly (perceived to josh as quickly, it's dependent on how long you think ashley has known them) by comparison to josh ... who has been there since he was like 8. that's just tough to swallow, no matter what context you put on it or derive. that hurts josh. chris isn't meaning to hurt him.

because this is a choice-based game, ashley can actually have a better relationship with chris than josh. i'm not here to go against chris/ash, btw. generally, i find them cute together, i think there's a lot to be said, and i view it fairly. i'm also a huge ashley/josh shipper as well as i like them as an ot3, so my tastes are all over, but looking just at the game and not at my feelings ...

chris is very conflicted on how important he needs to value ashley to him as someone he wants to be with romantically and josh to him as someone he likely is viewing a lot as an older brother / best friend, whereas josh views chris differently (you decide - romantic, almost like family he's losing now to ashley, losing his bestie, whatever, it's different for josh). to chris, he's very stable in how he feels about josh, which explains why really it's what happens to josh or what josh does (not a lot in-game lbr) to chris (as josh, not his persona) that can sway chris. with ashley, it's all over the place, they have such an intentional up-and-down dynamic. it's for us to decide if they get together, that's part of their trope (will they, won't they).

josh is feeling like a third wheel here. it's his house half the time, and he's the third wheel? ouch.

also, i accept this, too: this game is glitchy. many people have reported doing something as ashley and like her honesty will go up for some and down for others and they capture it and it's there as both, so what do we do with that?

for me, just as a writer, that is all game mechanics. i guess it's good insight? but it's messy, hard to keep up with, and not the best imo. it's great for a game! bad for us when the game glitches. but also, again, i think it just shows how people can react to others, how your choices are making a difference, etc.

this is kind of why i don't eff with the stats too much tbh. it's just (to me) not sound proof. if it was, more people would comment that sam's stats are super low with everyone, lowest with mike and jess likely bc they got together and it's in bad taste, and like ... that speaks to me.

additionally, i don’t think chris just submits to josh all the time — he isn’t afraid to like, kind of stand up for himself, but you can tell especially in that year between and coming back he’s more compliant so josh can have a good time. josh denies chris asking if he’s okay, telling him not to do that (something chris probably does a lot). if josh wants to indulge “like they used to”, then chris will oblige him. he lets josh shut him down fast, then tell him what to do (i love game mechanic josh lmao do this so i can do this ok?) — chris isn’t necessarily josh’s submissive but josh is the dominant one between them generally. he calls the shots, he’s the cool one, he’s the older bro trope.

[byler-endgayme]

Official Lobegate Lore

If you’re new to lobegate, I highly recommend reading this post by @bluearacari

Read that first if you want to understand what lobegate is. It explains lobegate itself, how it started, and the key pieces of lore in order of when they were revealed to the ‘audience’ (Bald Mike nation).

In this post, I’ll explain the full lobegate storyline in (mostly) chronological order. Most of this is based off of anon asks, but I also just made up some of the lore so it flows better. Unfortunately, I couldn’t incorporate every single anon ask, because some of the lore contradicts each other or has loose ends. However, if I missed out on something important or got things wrong, please let me know!

I’ve also made a lobegate playlist, which you can listen to while reading if you like:

Playlist cover is from this hilarious edit by @xoceanstarx011

I’m the anon behind these following identities in lobegate:

Baseball Girl

Will’s Favorite Car / Milkvan

Jesse

U. N. Owen

Duolingo

Other anons:

@dynamicccsworld (Baseball Boy, George Seymour Kent (?), Hawkins Reports)

@your-ivy-grows13 (Tick Tock)

@itwasaseven7 (The New Baseball Girl)

Others (If I missed you and you wanna be tagged, please let me know!)

Bald Mike nation (received anon asks):

@tripleatechie

@clericallyinsane

@dia-depeche

@bluearacari

@pythoness94 (hacked the MMM, allowing Bald Mike nation to hear what occurred within)

@noihavenosanitythanksforasking

@orlastarburst

Others (This is based off activity in the #lobegate tag - if I missed you and you wanna be tagged, please let me know!)

Lobers (started this whole thing)

@somewiseoutthere

@itwasaseven7

@noihavenosanitythanksforasking (?)

Others

@red-raven707 (fooled us into thinking they were a Lober)

Anyways, let’s get into it!

…

Mike was going bald quickly and desperately needed a balding implant. Alas, he couldn’t get on the waiting list for one, so he decided to steal Walter White’s balding implant, becoming the Bald Mike we know and love today. At this stage, Bald Mike did not yet fully comprehend the power of his special, shiny implant to hypnotise people…

Conveniently, nobody knew what happened to Walter White himself, so Bald Mike got a wig and stole his identity for the time being. Only Bald Mike’s best friend, Jesse Pinkman, was in on it. However, Jesse didn’t know about the balding implant yet, and just thought he got a weird haircut.

On November 2nd 2021, at 8:15, Bald Mike took over the Village with Three Waterfalls and reclaimed it as his own. As Jesse stood by his side, holding his hand, Bald Mike revealed his radiant glowing head for the first time. The puny Baseballians didn’t stand a chance against the radiant power of The Light. In the invasion, many Hawkins residents danced in the streets, whilst Baseballians lost their homes. From then on, the Village became known as Hawkins. Because Bald Mike was under the alias of Walter White at the time, this incident became widely known as the Walter White incident.

The loss of the Baseballian village devastated Baseball Boy, Baseball Girl (his cousin), and the New Baseball Girl (Baseball Girl’s twin). They are also known as the Three Waterfalls, named after the iconic landmark from their hometown. Planning revenge on Bald Mike, Baseball Boy formed the Mitochondria Metamorphosis Mob (MMM) with Baseball Girl’s support. However, the New Baseball Girl mysteriously disappeared and was nowhere to be seen…

Over the next couple of months, the MMM recovered from the Walter White incident by recruiting people to join, building a milkshake factory, and establishing their MMM lair. The MMM soon formed an alliance with the Lobers and Duolingo. Duolingo wasn’t much help but made a great pet bird for Baseball Girl, whilst the Lobers adored their holy Lobe. Baseball Boy started the tradition of worship towards the holy Lobe, milkshakes, and baseball bats. He also teamed up with the mysterious Tick Tock, who collaborated with him remotely and helped form many plans. Initially, Baseball Girl supported Baseball Boy’s efforts within the MMM, but gradually she became more and more power-hungry…

Elsewhere, the New Baseball Girl had her own plan to take down Bald Mike. She sneaked off to Hawkins, planning to assassinate Bald Mike herself, but instead stumbled upon a Milkvan in the junkyard who was rusting away. It was Will’s Favorite Car, discarded and forgotten. She repainted him bright blue and discovered he had time travelling powers. Together, they started testing time travel out…

…

Meanwhile, Hawkins was preparing for the upcoming presidential election…

On August 17th, 2022, Bald Mike started his presidential campaign and revealed himself to the world as the bald man he truly was. Entranced by the power of The Light, everyone listened to what he had to say. The citizens put him as their profile pictures and created a large movement in support of Bald Mike. From then on, his supporters became known as Bald Mike nation. Pretty much everyone thought he was a worthy president, and his Baseballian hater minority were nothing to him. At some point in Bald Mike’s campaign, Jesse pointed out that the bald implant had hypnotic powers, with the potential to mess with memories. Surely they could use it to their advantage…

On November 8th, 2022, George Seymour Kent and his partner, U. N. Owen, were scheduled to meet with the new presidential candidate, Bald Mike. They agreed to come - though apprehensively, due to hearing rumours about the Walter White Incident of 2021. They were also surprised that Jesse came to the meeting, seeing that he only stared intently at his watch and seemed bored. At first, George and U. N. Owen’s discussion with Bald Mike went smoothly but then…

At around 4:15 during the meeting, George asked Bald Mike about the Walter White Incident, and everything went awry. Bald Mike didn’t want his dark past to be revealed! In a fit of rage, he ripped off his wig and unleashed the power of The Light unto George. Shocked, George and U.N Owen fought Bald Mike and Jesse. U. N. Owen distracted Bald Mike momentarily with a blow to the cheek, allowing George to escape the office. But poor George’s memories began to jumble up, and he couldn’t escape Bald Mike’s voice in his head…

Soon afterwards, George ran away to Lover’s Lake, suffering from migraines as Bald Mike’s voice became louder and louder. He was seeing the light… he was not himself anymore. All his memories evaporated, replaced only by a vision of that shiny, radiant, bald head. The infection had spread to his brain… he had not long left… and yet the love letter in his pocket was tragically unsent, unread by its intended recipient. With his mind gone, George ripped the envelope open and scrawled a message on the back of the letter. His last words were preserved in golden ink:

HE IS ALL.

THE LIGHT IS NYE.

WE WILL REST UNDER THE WATCHFUL EYE. OF THE KING.

REJECT HUMANITY EMBRACE LIGHT.

Back at the office, Jesse wrangled U. N. Owen off Bald Mike and adjusted his watch, changing the time from 4:15 to 7:00. With his time travelling powers, Jesse brought U. N. Owen and himself to a barren wasteland sometime in the far future. This way, Bald Mike would be safe. But mere moments later, Milkvan and the New Baseball Girl appeared out of nowhere and grabbed U. N. Owen from Jesse. They began to U-turn to capture Jesse, but Jesse quickly adjusted his watch from 7:00 to 8:15. Nobody knew when or where he had time travelled to. So, Milkvan, U. N. Owen, and the New Baseball Girl were forced to return to the present.

Milkvan, U. N. Owen, and the New Baseball Girl now stood in front of the MMM lair. Suddenly, the New Baseball Girl bolted off into the woods - finding these two randos was not part of her plan…

When the original Baseball Girl found Milkvan and U. N. Owen outside, she welcomed them into the MMM with open arms. Milkvan and U. N. Owen didn’t know she was a twin, so they assumed she was the one who saved them. Soon, they formed an undying loyalty to Baseball Girl. Besides, U. N. Owen was intensely worried about George. He still hoped George was alive out there somewhere, but nevertheless, he swore to kill Bald Mike himself.

Having recruited more loyal MMM members, Baseball Girl began to ruminate over leading the MMM herself… without Baseball Boy…

…

Bald Mike suffered an imprint on his cheek where U. N. Owen had hit him. And now he was left alone, without his best friend Jesse. But Jesse’s words from the Walter White Incident kept on repeating in his head…

“I’m gonna save you, my lobe I MEAN LOVE. My sweet, evil, radiant, shiny, goofy, silly, dictator, murderer lobe I MEAN LOVE, you are in grave danger. But don’t worry. Sit tight.”

It was strange that Bald Mike had never remembered him say these words… until just now. It was as if a new memory had just inserted into his brain. Surely, it was one of Jesse’s time travelling antics. In time, everything would make sense. He trusted that one day, his Jesse would return.

…

When The New Baseball Girl had fled from Milkvan and U. N. Owen outside the MMM lair, she bumped into another girl in the woods.

El… wearing a big yellow Benny’s t-shirt. Instantly, the New Baseball Girl fell in lobe at first sight and listened to her story.

Ever since the Walter White incident of ‘21, El had been providing displaced Baseballians with eggos, milkshakes, blankets, shelter, baseballs, and the other necessities they needed to survive the invasion. But to really help the local Baseballians out, she needed to take her ex, Bald Mike, down… and this would only be possible through the MMM. The New Baseball Girl, tormented by her failed plan to assassinate Bald Mike by herself, agreed to help El. She made El her Queen and did whatever she ordered. Together, they started planning to take over MMM from Baseball Boy and Baseball Girl…

…

For three years, Bald Mike basked in the glory of his presidency of Hawkins. But eventually, the time for re-election came again, and Bald Mike would do everything in his power to ensure #baldmike2025 would become a reality.

However, the MMM and its allies had other plans. During these three years, Tick Tock helped Baseball Boy devise the MMM’s plan to assassinate Bald Mike. First, U. N. Owen was going to drive Milkvan all the way to Hawkins and play a haunting tune to scare away Bald Mike nation. Then, U. N. Owen was going to capture Bald Mike, tie him up, and, most importantly, cover up his bald head with a cloth. After this, they were to drive to the three waterfalls and throw Bald Mike down, finishing him off once and for all. With the plan complete just in time for the 2025 election, the MMM and its allies were ready to begin tormenting Bald Mike nation.

…

On 7th January 2025, the Lobers sent Bald Mike nation claims that Mike and El were in lobe. However, it wasn’t long before the Lobers were caught, causing them to surrender and disappear.

Then, the MMM’s recruitment intensified, and they began to reach out to Bald Mike nation. The MMM began spreading propaganda, claiming that Bald Mike was a terrible candidate, that Lobe was for life, and that the holy milkshakes and baseballs should be praised. When this didn’t work, the MMM began threatening Bald Mike Nation with their powerful alliance with the Lobers and Duolingo. All of these theatrics aimed to take down Bald Mike in the upcoming election. But Bald Mike’s radiance was too strong and Bald Mike nation were unmoved.

Secretly panicking, Baseball Boy asserted himself as the leader of MMM and warned about the Milkvan and his haunting tune. He was still hopeful that the original plan could be carried out, but alas…

…

Many years’ worth of seething jealousy finally awoke from within Baseball Girl. In a burst of frenzied fury, she took over the leadership of MMM, and Baseball Boy was much dismayed to find out that Milkvan’s loyalties lied with Baseball Girl. He surrendered and was kicked out of the MMM. Still, he felt he had to reveal the truth about the Walter White incident, and sent coded messages to Bald Mike nation. Before Baseball Boy could continue, Baseball Girl ordered Milkvan to finish him off by running him over.

With Baseball Boy out of the way, Baseball Girl changed the plan. She wasn’t in contact with Tick Tock, so Tick Tock was uninformed of these changes. As originally planned, U. N. Owen was going to drive Milkvan to Hawkins to capture Bald Mike. But according to Baseball Girl’s plan, U. N. Owen and Milkvan weren’t to kill him right away. Instead, they were to deliver him to the MMM lair, find Jesse, and kill Jesse in front of Bald Mike. This would inflict maximum pain unto Bald Mike. Only then would the MMM kill Bald Mike, and afterwards, they’d send the Milkshake Tsunami (generated at the milkshake factory) to destroy Bald Mike nation once and for all. (But of course, nothing ever goes to plan…)

After the plan revisions, the MMM continued sending out recruit invites and threats to Bald Mike nation. In the background, the baseball manufacturing and milkshake brewing continued too. Milkvan was asleep, charging up for the long trip. U. N. Owen was watching the Hawkins News intently, spying on them for information but also secretly hoping George was still alive. Many news reports about Bald Mike and other affairs began to surface, scaring the local Baseballians in Hawkins.

It was around this time that Jesse began contacting Bald Mike nation with coded messages. He ensured they couldn’t be intercepted by the MMM, for that would allow them to track his whereabouts - in both space and time.

Even with all this going on, everything seemed stagnant for a moment or two… and for good reason. Baseball Girl mysteriously disappeared... but what happened to her?

…

All these years later, under the orders of her Queen El, The New Baseball Girl returned to take over the MMM from Baseball Girl. After all, Baseball Boy’s death weakened the group, and now was the perfect time to strike.

Overworked from leading the MMM, Baseball Girl had let her guard down. This allowed The New Baseball Girl to breach security, knock Baseball Girl out with a baseball bat, and throw her into the milkshake brewer at the milkshake factory.

Now, with Baseball Girl out of the way, The New Baseball Girl claimed leadership over the MMM. She painted Baseball Girl as a coward, claiming she fled the country due to stress from leading the MMM. Bald Mike nation continued to be sent endless baseball and milkshake threats. In these threats, The New Baseball Girl warned about the dangerous truth about Bald Mike, criticised Bald Mike nation for suggesting Baseball Girl was dead, and sympathised with local Baseballians.

…

On the 8th of January 2025, shortly after The New Baseball Girl revealed herself to Bald Mike Nation, she disappeared too. Without a clear leader of the MMM, Bald Mike nation eventually calmed down. However, many questions were still left unanswered. What happened to Baseball Girl? What were the New Baseball Girl’s plans? Is Bald Mike truly safe now? Amidst all the silence, Bald Mike eventually let his guard down.

But of course Bald Mike wasn’t safe yet. Far from it. Because Baseball Girl reappeared, explaining her disappearance. She asserted that she didn’t flee the country, contrary to the New Baseball Girl’s claims. It took her hours to clamber out of the Milkshake pot in the milkshake factory, but finally, she returned. The MMM was officially back in business! But now they had to stop the intake of MMM recruitment for safety reasons. Where would they find new recruits now…

Baseball Girl was ready to commence her plan. Milkvan and U. N. Owen were sent to Hawkins, playing the grim Milkvan tune all the way. With his guard let down, Bald Mike was easy to capture. U. N. Owen tied him up and threatened Bald Mike nation. He managed to further capture 387 citizens and began his drive back to MMM lair. Because of this sudden influx of unpaid, forced recruits (slaves, basically), MMM officially closed recruitment to the public. A news report about these missing citizens was broadcasted on Hawkins television, accurately reporting it was coordinated by Baseball Girl.

…

Meanwhile, Tick Tock finally managed to reach the MMM again after Baseball Boy’s death. But Baseball Girl, still tense after the security breach, mistook Tick Tock for the New Baseball Girl. She demanded that her twin reveal herself at once and fight her at the Milkshake factory. When Baseball Girl arrived there, she found The New Baseball Girl busy sipping on some milkshake samples. So there she was! As payback, Baseball Girl drugged her, ensuring she would be unconscious for at least the next 12 hours. She pretended she didn’t know what happened to the New Baseball Girl, trapped her in a bunker, and patiently waited for the captured Bald Mike to arrived at the MMM lair.

Though tied up, Bald Mike bashed about inside Milkvan and damaged him quite badly. When they arrived at the MMM lair, U. N. Owen began repairs on Milkvan, whilst Baseball Girl was delighted to finally have Bald Mike in her hands. With Milkvan’s time travelling powers on her side, she intended on finding Jesse next. Unfortunately, they faced delays due to Milkvan’s repairs and not knowing where/when Jesse was hiding. It didn’t help that Baseball Girl lacked the braincells to decode Jesse’s secret messages to Bald Mike nation.

With the MMM planning to capture him next, Jesse began to panic. He frantically sent his last messages to Bald Mike nation, resolving not to communicate anymore out of fear of being found by the MMM. After all, of all people, U. N. Owen might know where he time travelled to…

Meanwhile, propaganda - both pro-Bald-Mike and anti-Bald-Mike - continued to circulate. Some messages about The Light praised its saving power, whilst others ominously warned against looking at it. In any case, the overpowering strength of The Light was made clear.

…

Tick Tock contacted the MMM again, disappointed about the changes to the original plan. They disapproved of the capture of 387 Hawkins citizens and the delay in assassinating Bald Mike. They threatened Bald Mike nation, claiming Bald Mike would be in danger if a deal was not made.

But Baseball Girl asserted to Bald Mike nation that she wanted to assassinate both Jesse and Bald Mike. She would drown them both in the milkshake pot at the milkshake factory. Initially, Baseball Girl was apprehensive about collaborating with Tick Tock, not knowing who they were. Nevertheless, she started discussing plans with Tick Tock, requesting to capture Jesse and make Bald Mike watch him die.

Tick Tock didn’t disclose their true identity to Baseball Girl, saying they were only here to make plans. However, they agreed to help capture Jesse.

Baseball Girl asked Tick Tock if they had any ideas as to the time period Jesse was hiding in. She also waited for help from Milkvan or U. N. Owen, but it took a while to get a response from them…

…

At the repair shop, Milkvan’s repairing was delayed, as U. N. Owen’s attention was drawn to breaking news on TV. Three years after George’s disappearance, his body was finally discovered near Lover’s Lake at 5:15. His last written words on the piece of paper were broadcasted on TV, but tragically, the love letter for U. N. Owen on the other side was not shown.

Upon the announcement of George’s death, many years’ worth of pent-up yearning and hoping crashed inside U. N. Owen. Pure grief, regret, and devastation ravaged inside him, and he admitted - too late - his love for his beloved partner. He described how brave, courageous, and justice-seeking George was, and went away to cry for a few minutes.

…

The New Baseball Girl finally awoke from being drugged. She was ultimately powerless, trapped alone in the bunker without any food or water. Nevertheless, she swore that Jesse would be captured, and claimed Jesse was the ‘brains’ whom the ‘stupid’ Bald Mike relied wholly on. Then, she descended into a fit of fury, swearing to fight Baseball Girl. The New Baseball Girl claimed the MMM truly belonged to her and that there was only supposed to be one of them growing in their mother’s womb.

But Baseball Girl ignored her twin’s requests to fight, saying that finding Jesse was more important.

Finally, U. N. Owen stopped crying and finished Milkvan’s repairs. Discussing the plan with the other MMM members, U. N. Owen recounted the traumatic events of the day he and George met Bald Mike and Jesse in the office. Crucially, he remembered that when Jesse was escaping Milkvan, he had turned his time travel watch from 7-ish to 8:15.

Thinking about what 8:15 could mean, New Baseball Girl wrongfully guessed that Jesse was hiding in Hopper’s cabin in Hawkins.

On the other hand, Baseball Girl thought the whole deal about 8:15 was ridiculous.

What they failed to grasp, fatally, was the true significance of this number, of 8:15. Of course, you can’t really blame them seeing that so much time had passed, but still.

8:15 on November 2nd, 2021… it was where it all began.

The Walter White incident.

…

When Jesse had turned his watch to 8:15 all those years ago, he time travelled back to the past, back to this momentous day. It was the day his life changed - the day Mike revealed his bald head to him. It was so radiant, so magnificent, that Jesse full-on fell in lobe. And, of course, his lobe was reciprocated. The two of them held hands and Jesse had never felt happier.

That’s why Jesse knew it was the perfect time period to hide from the enemy. Not only was it a traumatic moment for the Three Waterfalls, but reliving his best moment - the moment he felt so much love - gave him power. Again and again did Jesse experience this blindingly radiant moment, and again and again did Jesse’s power grow and grow.

But finally, after three years of reliving the Walter White incident, Jesse knew it was time to return to the present. Changing the timeline, Jesse told Bald Mike,

“I’m gonna save you, my lobe I MEAN LOVE. My sweet, evil, radiant, shiny, goofy, silly, dictator, murderer lobe I MEAN LOVE, you are in grave danger. But don’t worry. Sit tight.”

Jesse set his watch from 8:15 to 12:00. And all of a sudden, he teleported to the present, now standing at the centre of the MMM lair. Beside him, his belobed Bald Mike was tied up with his radiant head concealed. And in the room also stood Baseball Girl, U. N. Owen, and Milkvan all staring, gaping at Jesse. They were too late; they failed to find him in time.

HE found THEM.

Jesse untied Bald Mike, and they each held the other in their warm embrace. The MMM thought it was a mere act of affection from these reunited lobers. But it was more than that. The two lobers simultaneously ripped off the coverings off each other’s heads - Mike’s cloth and Jesse’s wig, because Jesse is also actually bald - to reveal two perfectly shiny, bald heads. The power of love, accumulated over years thanks to Jesse’s time travelling antics, was more powerful than ever…

At once, they unleashed The Light unto the MMM.

Milkvan spontaneously combusted; U. N. Owen screamed his dead lober’s last message and exploded into golden ink; Baseball Girl transformed into an inanimate baseball. Positively glowing, Bald Mike walked over to the baseball and squashed it into insignificance.

The New Baseball Girl may have survived this attack, being stuck in the bunker, but she too would not survive much longer without food or water. As for Tick Tock, communicating from afar saved their life. But they disappeared, powerless without the MMM to do the dirty work.

And so, on the 9th of January 2025, Bald Mike and Jesse defeated the MMM with the power of love. With all their enemies obliterated and the 387 hostages returned, Bald Mike’s presidential campaign became an unmatched success.

On the 10th of January 2025, Bald Mike officially won the elections, as well as the hearts of Bald Mike nation. Again did the people make Bald Mike their profile pictures, showing off their Bald Mike pride to the world.

Basking again in the ever-radiant glory of presidency, Bald Mike’s head continued to shine throughout the village with the three waterfalls, throughout the valley - all the way to the abandoned Mitochondria Metamorphosis Mob lair, all throughout the drained milkshake factory, all throughout the woods, all throughout the universe - now and forevermore.

[joshfutturman]

'they'd find us in a week, ( lay here for years or for hours )'

oneshot - mike struggles to let you get close, but when your hands brush against his hair, he realises that he may not be able to keep you at arms length forever (1.7k words) pairing - mike schmidt (five nights at freddy's) & gn!reader tags - ok basically this whole thing was 'mike gets sleepy when you play with his hair because my headcanon is that his mom used to do it when he was younger', pre-established friendship verging on relationship, lingering feelings, pure fluff

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

you knew mike wasn’t really the super affectionate type, or at least. . . not with you, yet. each week you’d come over, he’d inch a little closer towards you on the sofa. every time, you felt your heart rate pick up. he felt so close yet so far.

this night, he was the closest he’d ever been. your eyes drift over to the armchair where he used to sit himself when you first visited, and then to him, inches from you now on the sofa. you often treated the situation like mike was an animal, your hand outstretched waiting patiently for him to sniff, get used to your scent maybe. one wrong move and he’d scamper away. you operated on his time, at his pace.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

his leg touches yours and you feel your face heat up at the innocent touch. you dare not glance towards him, relax, you think to yourself. mike probably thought nothing of it. but when you do glance despite your best efforts, you notice the red on his cheeks too.

you try to suppress a smile.

the room was lit with only small flickers from the television in his living room, some mindless action film playing. it was his suggestion, and you let him, loving the way his face lit up when he tried to explain the plot to you in a sheepish manner. his dad used to watch it with him, he said. it felt special that he wanted to share this with you, even if it wasn’t the best movie in the world, it would turn out to be one of your favourites anyway.

you try to focus, settling back into the sofa as you rest your elbow back onto the base of the sofa behind you, supporting your head as your cheek rests against your palm. your eyes drift to mike, watching him as he eyes the television with deep interest. he’s got that sleepy look he usually has and your eyes begin to study his face a little closer now that you’ve got the opportunity.

the dark bags under his eyes hadn’t gotten any better, in fact, they looked a little worse. but that leads you onto his freckles, one. . . two. . . three. . . four. . . more than you could count, dotted across his nose and cheeks. they were your favourite of his features, little constellations you wanted to connect, his face infinitely more interesting than any of the old stars in the night sky.

his stubble was growing a little long, longer than you’d seen it before - maybe tomorrow was his usual shaving day. you wouldn’t tell him, but you thought he suited it at this length. a part of you wonders what it would feel like against your own cheek, but you quickly swat that thought from your mind.

but god, his eyelashes. they were long, dark and delicate. with each blink, you wonder if mike knew how truly beautiful he actually was. he was handsome sure, but he was also incredibly beautiful. not just in looks either, he was beautiful in the way that he’d save you an extra donut - your favourite kind, he’d swerve in the road to avoid birds, he’d send you pictures of things that reminded him of you with no caption or explanation.

you loosen up, lifting your face from your hand. your fingers twitch, itching to reach out and touch his hair. that would be weird, right? but he’s so close. his head is almost resting on your shoulder. should you?

before you have a chance to stop yourself, your fingers briefly brush through a curl on his head and immediately he flinches back.

fuck. you’ve lost him. he’s scampered away.

mike looks at you with what you think to be an angered expression. his brows knit together, leaning away from you as his eyes glance from your hand to you.

“i’m. . . i’m sorry i-“ you begin to say in defence, feeling embarrassed.

mike continues to eye you cautiously. how could he tell you the kinds of feelings that stirred for him?

suddenly he’s just a boy again. he’s had another nightmare. his mom is beside him in his cramped single bed with patterned dinosaur sheets, her hand on his soft curls at the base of his head. her touch is delicate, like he’s delicate. fingers dancing through curls, mike’s eyelids flutter closed as she hums a familiar, comforting tune.

no one’s touched his hair since then. no one.

well, no one except you. right now.

he’s not sure whether to be angry or to be upset. to snap at you or to apologise for his own reaction. he can feel the sadness bubbling in his stomach, spreading up to his chest. he hadn’t thought about this in so long, convinced he’d never be comforted in that way ever again - or maybe it was that he’d never let himself be comforted like that ever again. yet here he was, craving it.

at this point, you’re convinced it’s over. he’s going to ask you to leave. you crossed a line. there was nothing here between you and him. you wanted to apologise again, but what was the use?

“did you just touch my hair?” he finally spoke up, voice softer than you expected it to be.

you swallow hard, “yeah, sorry, i just- i dunno. . .” your words fall away from you again.

mike visibly relaxes, his shoulders loosening up. “it’s okay,” he glances at your hand once more, then back to you as if he’s trying to decide something, “you can. . . if you want to.”

eyes widening, you simply stare back at him, what? you’re stunned into silence for a few moments. you’ve never heard him so soft, almost vulnerable. his gaze continues to flicker to you then away, settling back on the television and returning to the position he was in before with his head close to your shoulder. there’s a hint of red on his cheeks. you can tell he’s. . . scared.

your hand inches closer again, fingertips grazing across his dark, soft curls. immediately you see him take a deep breath through his nose, you can’t figure out what he’s feeling. secretly, he’s feeling relief.

each touch is ghost-like, hardly making contact as you switch between examining his reaction and then back to his hair. once it’s been a minute and you both relax into the interaction, you sink your hands in a little deeper as his hair glides between your fingers with ease. you flinch a little as your fingers reach scalp, splaying your fingers across his skin.

his eyes flutter closed, head slumping forward a little. you smile, drifting your nails across his head gently until you find a curl between your pointer and index finger. you twist it around, letting your fingers comb through it.

mike feels goosebumps pepper up along the back of his neck, soft tingling raining delicately along his scalp. he focuses on the soft, tender sensation of your fingers. suddenly he realises that for once, his mind is quiet. it’s not running ahead, it’s not jumping over hurdles he’d placed for himself, it’s not reliving anything, he’s. . . simply existing here, in this moment, with you.

and he’s letting you. mike isn’t shying away from the touch, instinctively rejecting any form of care. instead, he’s relishing it. his head rests against your shoulder in a final act of defeat, breathing softening to a slow pace.

if it wasn’t so goddamn relaxing, he’d probably allow himself to feel emotional. it had been so long since anyone had cared for him like this, taken the time, or even tried. his walls had grown so high that he was convinced no one would ever dare try to climb them, and if they did he’d snipe them down with a single, devastating shot.

but you? you kept climbing, taking those shots like a champ and continuing to climb anyway. slowly, but surely. and it was almost as though mike never saw you coming. like you were over that wall in a flash - waiting patiently for him to beckon you down to the other side.

and here he was as you approached.

mike’s hand finds your leg in his sleepy haze and gently, sheepishly, lets his fingertips trail across the fabric there. like he’s trying to return the favour.

this simply makes you smile.

your fingers continue to trace small shapes in his hair, a heart, a circle, a square. . . and then all your fingers at once combing through his thick curls. you can’t help but watch the way his head sinks deeper and deeper against your shoulder as he gives in to sensation.

for the first time in forever, he feels sleep beckoning him without the use of pills or any other sleep aids. just you, your simple touch and your body heat accompanying him. it’s incredibly adorable to you, watching him settle underneath your touch. his touch on your leg falters, slowing down to a halt after a short while.

gingerly, your hand snakes to the front of his scalp, running through the curls covering his forehead and exposing the skin there as if to take a peek at his face. your eyes widen and you smile as you see his eyes gently closed, mouth half open. was he. . . sleeping? he’d fallen asleep against you, your fingers still in his hair. and you wouldn’t dare stop. you’d do this forever if time and the world allowed.

it was the most peaceful you’d ever seen him, evoking deep feelings of protectiveness. mike deserved better than what this life gave him, or rather, took from him. you’d do anything to make him feel at peace, even for a little while. what little you could offer to ease the burden, you’d give.

you rest your cheek down against the top of his head, letting your own eyes close - your hands now on the back of his head, playing with the curls that settle there naturally. trying your best, you keep up the soft touches of your fingertips as long as you’re able to before sleep inevitably comes for you too. it comes in waves, your head growing heavier against mike’s as he breathes out light snores.

before long, slumber sweeps you away. both of you laying contently against the other in a sleepy bundle.

tomorrow, you’d both have to face the world, but for now? this moment was yours. and in sleep, mike would pray you’d be there when he awoke.

little did he know, you’d never want to leave his side ever again.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. ‧₊˚ dedicated tags: @helen-on-earth @fatinhadesiners06 @boonam @laurrrelise @sun-spider13 @sammygirlism @sleepyhutcherson ‧₊˚ ily!! .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

[redsrooftopprincess]

Renfaire Headcanons

Okay everyone! Faire (Renaissance Festival) just wrapped and I'm sad, so I'm making it everyone else's problem. Here are some headcanons!

Leo

Faire can be a lot for Leo. There are a lot of moving parts, and if you're at a crowded faire, expect him to be on guard at all times. But, if you're at a smaller faire and/or you can get him to relax, he's actually a blast.

Chivalry is this guy's middle name, or it would be if he had a middle name. Does he have a middle name? If he does, you've never heard it. The minute you walk in, he's looking for the flower vendor. Expect a lot of "Yes, my (honorific of choice)," "No, my (honorific of choice)." Kisses to the back of your hand while looking deeply into your eyes. The works. This guy is Prince Charming, and just like all the other roles in his life, he takes it seriously.

His favorite events are the Joust and the Falconer. He's placing "gentleman's bets" on the knights with Raphael, and they have a really great time just being brothers and watching sports. He also loves the falconer and spends almost an hour chatting with him after the demonstration is over. By the end, the falconer is so charmed they help him leather-wrap his arm/hand (they don't exactly have a glove that fits), and teach him to fly the birds.

As for games, he won't pick up a sword because he knows it wouldn't be fair, but he really enjoys showing off his archery skills. And show off he will. Mike may be the one usually grabbing hold of the spotlight, but don't think for one second that Leo can't be a showman. Especially if it's something he knows he's good at. Any and all archery/ninja combo tricks he can think of, and by the end the hay bale will be reduced to a scattered pile. Be watchful of his anxiety levels before he heads to the range, however. If he's not in a good place, all the attention/cameras could cause him to panic.

As for food, all the greasy, fried things don't really sit well with him. He does, however enjoy High Tea with the queen, and will spend a lot of that time cleverly waxing poetic about you and making elegantly veiled innuendos, while you blush furiously into your cucumber sandwiches.

Shopping will be all about you. He lives to spoil you, and if you even *hint* that you like something, expect it to "randomly" show up in your bags when you're unpacking at the end of the day. He might even be using this as an opportunity to figure out your ring size and/or what types of jewelry/stones you like.

...

Raph

Expect your knight in shining armor to be doing his job. If it's a crowded faire, he won't be as visibly anxious as Leo, but expect him to be a little distracted while keeping an eye on everything. Very protective, but it only takes one conversation for you to explain to him that you're dressed like this because you want to be noticed. Still eyes anyone who seems like they might be getting a little too handsy.

Once he's more comfortable with people just randomly coming up to hug you and others standing at a distance to ogle you, he's good. Raph loves an excuse to get out and have a good time, and RenFaire is not only no different, but it's one of those places that tends to embrace the weird. Rather than screaming and running people are enthralled and constantly asking him how he made his "costume." ("Trade secret" 😉). 🤭

He loves the Joust and he and Leo will have a great time betting and bonding, loser buying the next round of drinks. But Live Steel Combat is by far his favorite. The second he passes by a pit of armored combatants beating the shit out of each other, he's hooked. After the fight, he spends some time talking to the fighters and even exchanging techniques.

Raph doesn't care about showing off, he's just there to have a good time, so he'll be a little surprised when he turns around after spending 15 minutes destroying the dagger/hatchet throw boards to see a crowd has gathered. He'll recover quickly, however. Activate Full *Gaston* mode. Showing off and shooting flirty winks and comments at some of the more thirsty patrons that are paying attention to some of his more dexterous moves. Flexing at every opportunity. But don't worry, his last trick will be hitting the bullseye while dipping you into a kiss that reminds you that he's only yours. Drink up those nasty looks. You've earned them.

My guy likes to keep it simple when it comes to food. How many turkey legs? How many you got? They will learn to dread the hulking figure in red and green coming up to the stand, and you may have to gently remind him at one point that the other patrons need to eat, too. After that, he'll be happy to try the other things, he'll particularly enjoy the scotch egg.

On vendors row, he spends more time talking with with artisans and craftspeople than doing any actual shopping, and will end up leaving with "gifts" to get started on his own projects. He particularly likes the leatherworkers and fiber artists. Don't think he isn't paying attention, though. Weeks later, you'll start finding handmade gift on your windowsill similar to, but more beautiful than, those things he noticed you notice.

...

Donnie

It isn't often this artificer gets to indulge in the *other* side of the geekdom coin, he carves out a few hours a week for D&D, but other than that, his mind won't let him get away from his engineering fixation all that often. But when you give him an opportunity to flex his creative side while still making his "gotta-build" brain happy, he'll put your ass to work. You'll spend the months leading up to faire together, in the back of the lab building matching steampunk engineer costumes that actually freaking work. Expect to own the competition.

The costume contest is, of course, the most important event. You may not make it if he spends too long talking about your rigs with interested parties, so set timers and plan for people to stop the two of you on your way there. After easily taking the win and smugly taking your hand, kissing it, and helping you down the wooden steps, expect him to look for the Irish Step Dancers. The rhythm and synchronicity will help him regulate after all the attention.

Donnie will munch on whatever sweet, fried thing you put in front of him, but he seeks out the mead tent. He doesn't drink much or often, but he does appreciate the time and care that goes into the fermentation process, and he'll really enjoy trying every flavor they have before buying a bottle of your favorite for the two of you, and another one that his father might like.

Donnie is not really interested in the wares in the vendor booths, so this time with you is all about research. Much like Leo, he's learning what you like and what you don't like. Colors, textures, patterns, all filed away for later. If you find something you really love, he'll pull the "I'll be right back," move, once you're three booths away, then hand the bag to you without a word, link his arm with yours, and keep walking. He may also have a discrete conversation with the leatherworker about some *ahem* custom items.

...

Mikey

Let's. Fucking. Go. He is ready, baby. He only just learned about Renaissance Festivals, but you do not have to ask him twice he is down. The two of you will spend a little time putting together some casual fun costumes the day before, and then proceed to fully forget half of what you wanted to bring by the time you're parked and unloading, but that's okay because it's RenFaire babyyy!

This guy will lay it on thick. Leo may be Prince Charming, but this Jester has your heart and will be doing everything he can to make sure you and everyone else remembers why. Expect comments and compliments dripping with innuendo that make you more red than the tomatoes at the dunk tank...

Which just happens to be one of his favorite things! A quick wit and good aim turns the game into a show and a crowd will gather as he and the dunkee toss insults back and forth. He'll occasionally punctuate his barbs by tossing a tomato and hitting the button just enough to make the platform almost give out. Eventually, once he and the actor have come to some kind of verbal truce, he'll give them a sweet smile, before throwing his last fruit, and landing them in the water.

This will be a theme all day. Any/all raunchy/adult-themed comedy shows are on his agenda. In fact, expect him to be constantly checking the schedule. He loves a good show! He'll even make time for some of the performances geared toward little kids. At one point, happily playing an ogre in one of the twisted fairy tale performances (the ogre is the good guy 😁).

Food is easy. It's it bad for you? Would his dad give him a look while he eats too much of it? Awesome.

Shopping will start pretty much immediately. My dude walked in, saw ✨Fashion✨, and said "Yes please! 😃" He is at the Cordwainer in minutes talking about a pair of custom Rennie boots, and he is NOT leaving without a rainbow utilikilt. He'll be a little bummed he can't get elf ears, but he'll find a dope-as-hell flower crown that'll more than make up for it.

.....

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @milykins

[lynxgriffin]

What are your predictions for Deltarune Chapters 3-4 ?

Hmmm, let's see...

I think Susie and Ralsei are going to work out very quickly that Kris was the one to create this fountain. Susie's going to brush it off like "Okay yeah I get why you would, it's okay we'll just have fun and seal the fountain when we're done anyway!" and Ralsei will try and act like it's not a problem, when he clearly is bothered by it, and this will start to build up some tension between Ralsei and Kris.

I am open to Toriel being another side party member, less convinced yet that we'll be seeing another adult like Undyne or Napstablook there as well. I do not think we'll be getting a Snowgrave repeat where Toriel is manipulated into killing Undyne or anything like that. If there's a weird route continuation here, it'll be handled very differently.

I don't think we'll be seeing more of the Dreemurr household in the dark world; it'll just be focused on what's on the TV. We've already got a few possibilities for areas: a cooking show, the weather report, and the monster movie, plus we do keep getting hints that the western show may show up in some capacity.

To that end...hopefully a Susiezilla sequence for the monster movie part!

Unsure of what Mike's role will be in here, but I'm anticipating Tenna as the main big bad for this Dark World.

I don't think anyone has guessed the secret boss for chapter three yet, and I don't think anyone will. Thusfar for secret bosses, there's been no hints of them from other places, and you have to go out of your way to find them. Their function as Darkners made from discarded/forgotten objects makes sense in hindsight, but isn't obvious from the get-go. All we know is that we'll need the shadow mantle for a future secret boss, and that that's missing now.

At the end of chapter three, Asriel is going to call on the landline phone and talk to Toriel briefly, but WE won't get to actually communicate with him and it's going to drive me bonkers.

We know less about chapter four, except for some very basic things...Susie and Kris have a few scenes talking out in the light world, and it's raining some of that time. It could either go the direction of an all-light world chapter, or another dark world they explore the next day.

Assuming it's the latter and there's another dark world (which makes more sense to me), I feel the best location options are the hospital, the church, and Asgore's flower shop. If there's a thread started in chapter three getting into more of the Dreemurr family history and Kris's place in it (which does seem to be the case), Asgore's shop seems the best bet to continue that thread next, so I'm going to predict Asgore's shop for chapter four.

Since that's a flower shop and all, a more Alice In Wonderland sort of theming seems likely, with more of a jungle/wild area that the Fun Gang has to explore compared to the city and sound stage areas of previous chapters.

I am expecting Catti (and potentially also Jockington) to be future Dark World partners, and either chapter four or chapter five seems a good option for that.

I think Catti is necessary as a partner 1) because of her occult history with Kris, 2) her focus on protecting Noelle, who I could see showing up in the Dark World again as early as chapter four or five, and 3) her clearly having beef with Susie.

If we're dealing with Kris's family history through chapters 3 and 4, I can see that then going into more of Susie's backstory and whatever is going on with her family. I get the feeling that Catti knows some secret about Susie that makes her dislike her more than just "she stole Jockington's hat once", and that will need to be resolved in conjunction with learning more on Susie's situation.

Every day in-game that big-headed blue bird monster is going to reveal another shelf in the second floor of the library, which will slowly give more worldbuilding lore, and it's going to be maddening just getting those little crumbs of info one at a time.

We'll be getting more Knight hints, but not a real reveal until chapter five.

[sooocty]

I adore both the on screen adaptions of It

I truly do!

But why do neither adapt the losers encounters with It correctly

(Granted I’ve only seen the mini series once at that was over a two day period because MAN that is long and the older losers are a pain)

—

But in the book the encounters are:

Ben is thought to be the first to encounter It for the 1958 cycle. He’s walking home, after staying late after school to help grade papers with his teacher, when he’s on a bridge in the snow and sees a clown holding balloons. Said balloons are still even though it is very windy. The clown morphs into a mummy, which scares the piss out of him. (Just like Richie, Ben is scared of movie characters he’s seen)

In the mini series it’s this weird thing where his dad is calling out to him, and trying to lure him to the sewers. (Which doesn’t really make to much sense in the “scare” factor)

Then in the 2017 film it’s the dead boy he’s reading about in the news paper. It is better than the mini series in scare factor but doesn’t feel as personal??

There is reference to the mummy in the final battle, but it’s not an alone encounter and that’s what I’m focusing on here.

-

Bev is the best translation in both because it’s done to a certain extent in both. She’s in the bathroom, hears dead kids in her sink, puts a tape measure down there, and then blood shoots out of it. (A not so subtle way to say she’s started her period because she’s scared of turning into a women or adult)

The mini series does this with the balloon in the sink, and the 2017 version does it just with hair trapping her to the sink before the blood shoots in her face (And mouth omg 😭) Both are faithful in the fact she shows the boys. (Which leads to my favorite scene in the book.)

-

Bill goes into georgie’s room, opens georgie’s photo album and georgie’s latest year book photo leaks blood. Which is faithful to the mini series and I feel like the translation the 2017 version does is alright. Not the exact same but I feel like it still is true to his character. As his character leans heavily on Georgie’s death/going missing.

-

Eddie sees a homeless man with leprosy who offers him “favors”. Obviously he’s conditioned by his mother to fear sickness and a leper is a “walking infection”. Also the favors could be seen as Eddie seeing his sexuality as an illness that he needs to be cured off.

The 2017 movie does this almost faithfully minus the favors for obvious reasons.

The mini series does a weird shower scene, that doesn’t say anything about this character (not that I noticed) but it does have what I think is a reference to the “favors” by Pennywise saying “come back anytime”

-

Mike in the book sees a huge bird?? Which neither adaptation does. But Mike doesn’t even get his alone encounter in the mini series as he’s lumped into a group losers encounter with his photo album.

In the 2017 film his parents are killed in a house fire which I feel makes his character more sad than it already is. Especially since we get to see Mike with his parents in the book and I adore that family time we get. (Because he’s honestly one of the few losers with a good home life) But it’s not a poor translation as it gives him a satisfying ending in chapter 2.

-

Richie sees the paul bunion statue come to life, which is done in chapter 2. The mini series has him see The Teenage Wolf which happens in the book. Just both he and Bill see it when investigating Neibolt Street. (It does have Richie’s name on its letter man too)

I like the in the Werewolf more than Paul Bunion because it’s a more childish fear as he, ben and bev actually go see the teen werewolf movie in the book. (And mini series I think? But Eddies also there)

-

Stan (oh how they do my boy wrong 😞) goes to the park to see a cardinal. While he’s there he feels like the stand pipe is calling to him he goes inside. Stan starts to creep up the stairs as he hears clown music and even smells the smells of a carnival. Then he starts to hear wet footprints coming down the stairs and sees dead boys. (Ones he fights off by naming bird species lmao)

Said dead boys come from a story Eddie tells him about kids drowning at the (river or lake some body of water) next to the stand pipe.

My interpretation of this is that he has a more adult fear (something “real” like drowning or death) He also states that he just wants to forget his encounter, and not do anything about it. Stan doesn’t want to fight Pennywise. He wants to forget anything even happened. An attitude similar to the adults of Derry who want to do nothing about Pennywise, just be bystanders. He’s reluctant to even tell the group about his encounter, chopping it up as a dream.

Stan is more “adult” than the other losers. He remembers his childhood unlike the other losers. He knows who William Denbrough is on his books. Stan reads Bills horror novels fondly as if he’s reminiscing on his childhood.

In the mini series they sorta do this justice with a similar set up just instead of dead boys it’s the mummy. Then again it’s a scary movie fear that was originally Ben’s.

But in the 2017 film they make it the painted lady?? (They also just remove birds ENTIRELY from his personality.) Which I feel undermines his character in a sense. Because it’s a childish fear to be frightened of an odd looking painting in your father’s office. So scared he refuses to look at it.

Both adaptations try to give tell you why he’s more scared to returned and his premature death. By having Pennywise single him out. Be that by pinning him to a wall to feed or leading him away from the group to feed.

Both do the job and in the 2017 adaptation when the losers return for a 2nd time to the neibolt house he shows hesitation in returning. But then in the Chapter 2 they give some weird poetic reason of his premature death as a calculated decision .

Which let me be clear it in no way, shape, or form is. The man was just scared. That’s it. There is no needed explanation and personally I feel it dulls his death down to make it a calculated decision.

-

Thank you for listening to me ramble about my current fixation! And comparing adaptions of It by Stephen King.

I wonder who my favorite character is 😭(yes this originally was only abt Stan but I felt that a post only abt him would be too little)

[schadentekkers]

~ CHRIS & DREW MASTERPOST ~

putting together a list of matches available online featuring chris and drew either teaming together or against each other bc i have no life! and also for my fellow chrisdrew heads bc we gotta stick together.

some of these links will be behind a paywall, but i will try my best to find options that are not!! they'll be in order of year and organized by promotion. i have not been able to find any of their matches pre-2017, but i will continue my search until the day i die.

LUCHA FOREVER - the dawning of forever -> cck + chief deputy dunne vs. drew, bea priestley, + el ligero (2:15:00 timestamp)

ATTACK PRO WRESTLING - damplified -> cck vs. drew and shax

dear maria tag me in -> chris and pete dunne vs. drew and elijah

lifestyles of the weird and the wonderful -> chris vs. drew

nonstop feeling (pressure to succeed) -> chris, chief deputy dunne + wild boar vs. drew, lk mezinger + mike bird

live at the dome 3 -> chris vs. drew

**unfortunately, most attack pro shows are not available anywhere else other than the linked site, as far as i've found. the good thing is, the sub price isn't too steep, however they don't have all of their shows available, so some chris&drew matches are missing :(

PWC - the chaos element -> chris vs. drew (1:22:00 timestamp)

PROGRESS - chapter 82: unboxing day -> chris vs. drew, no dq (1:20:35 timestamp)

IPW - tuesday night graps forever -> cck + (inflatable) pete dunne vs. drew, el phantasmo, + the invisible man (45:30 timestamp) also with aussie open on comms. a good time

DDT - summer vacation 2020 -> chris + drew vs. damnation (57:40 timestamp)

get alive 2020 -> chris vs. drew, no dq for the universal title (1:34:20 timestamp)

who's gonna top? 2020 -> chris + drew vs. yuki ueno + naomi yoshimura (1:02:25 timestamp)

d-oh grand prix 2021 in ota-ku - chris + drew vs. mao + shunma (1:30:20 timestamp)

super encounter #1 - chris + drew vs. mao + shunma streetfight

super encounter #6 - chris + drew vs. mao + shunma vs. saki akai + hagane shinno

judgement 2023 -> chris, drew + hagane shinno vs. damnation t.a (2:40:30 timestamp)

BJW - 12.30.2021 -> chris + drew vs. astronauts (1:31:40 timestamp)

only the young -> chris + drew vs. kota sekifudo + yuya aoki (8:46 timestamp)

2 young 2 die -> chris + drew vs. isami kodaka + yuko miyamoto

front row -> chris + drew vs. kankuro hoshino + akira hyodo

young man standing -> chris + drew vs. kota sekisada & mitsuru takeda

ten minutes -> chris + drew vs. daisuke sekimoto & yuya aoki

**sadly the last half of the bjw shows i'm unable to find anywhere other than the bjw core website which is behind a paywall

GAKE NO FUCHI JOSHI - it's summer isn't it? -> drew + rina yamashita vs. chris + miyako matsumoto

clockwork -> chris vs. suzu suzuki (this is a chris match, but drew is his second and he does get involved in the hijinks)

snow white -> chris vs. miyako matsumoto (drew as chris' second again getting involved in the wonderful nonsense that is this match)

happy death day -> chris, drew + veny vs. miyako matsumoto, rina yamashita, + jun kasai (1:32:40 timestamp)

GANBARE PRO - kocho ranbo -> chris, drew + miyako matsumoto vs. veny, hagane shinno, + shinichiro tominaga (51:50 timestamp)

GATOH MOVE - chocopro # 179 -> chris + drew vs. baliyan akki + yuna mizumori

BAKA GAIJIN - vol. 1 -> chris vs. drew / chris + masa vs. drew + mao (1:01:30 timestamp)

vol. 4 -> chris + masa vs. drew + rina (1:10:40 timestamp)

i am also going to link this podcast that they did so everyone can mourn with me the fact that they only did one episode </3

AND that is the end of the list, for now! yay yippee! please enjoy

[that-guy-is-not-real]

Welcome to Gleamfolk city OCs!

Drew these up just today, cause the ideas were neat.

Mr. Fluffe. This guy was the main idea! Local owner of a newly built golf course, and owner of a podcast with his pal Brax, this guy is the bee's knees when it comes to confidence! Over 7'ft tall, built like a fridge, and with some giant chompers ta boot, who WOULDN'T wanna know this guy?? Though, his views are a bit questionable. He's a bit greedy, and has no problems voicing his opinions about how weird he finds it that people who frown a lot aren't seen. I mean, come on! He's losing potential audiences! He is very, very loyal. Mainly to Brax, but if you humor him and let him interview you? He'd consider you a good pal, and WOULD defend you from whatever comes your way! He also has a lot of beef with Polly the news bird. He calls her 'very insensitive' and 'too orange'.

Next up is his best buddy, Brax! Brax is as normal as you can get. Minus the not-so-outgoing attitude. He's very reserved, only really having conversations with or around Mike. He trusts him, and Mike gives unrelenting support for what he does in return. He's more of the apologist of the two. He goes out of his way to apologize for Mike's general personality (Loud, grating, and overall kind of rude) in any way he can. A few dollars here, a candy or something there, and boom! He tries his best.

Storywise, if I am correct, Nero lives in an apartment. Now, out of pure coincidence, Mike got into an incredibly heated debate with multiple people about how the news is corrupt, and how the people there at Gleamfolk city are so stupid, it seems. So, out of anger, and mild caution, he decided to move! To the apartment. He's not even near Nero living space wise. He just went door-to-door introducing himself to the locals. To mixed results (some called him obnoxious, he took this very personally). Then, he went close to Nero's door, where they just got out of said door. Mike and Brax then loudly asked how he was doing, prompting a very forced interview. After that, the two just show up randomly at his door to try to chat, get to know him better, and see if he wants to go on the podcast!

@dictatortirah

[cryptidcorners]

Could I have a fluffy imagine/one-shot of Mike with a librarian girl? Like Mike goes back to the place he got the dream book from, and now he wants something to get his mind off (the trauma of the movie) so the librarian helps him find something else he’d like. Maybe a Sherlock Holmes detective or something. Thanks so much!

~ Mike Schmidt x Reader ~

= Title: Friendly Nostalgia

= Character: Mike Schmidt

= Media: Movie!Five Nights At Freddie's

= Prompt: N/A

= Description: The aftermath of Mike's job as a security guard had got him thinking, as well as tripled his internal hardships. In an attempt to cool his troubling mind, Mike decides to go into his old library to find one of his favorite literatures, and maybe a new friend along the way.

= Request: "Could I have a fluffy imagine/one-shot of Mike with a librarian girl? Like Mike goes back to the place he got the dream book from, and now he wants something to get his mind off (the trauma of the movie) so the librarian helps him find something else he’d like. Maybe a Sherlock Holmes detective or something. Thanks so much!"

= Tags: Fluff ! Small Angst? Librarian Reader + Setting, Shy Mike, Sweet Talk, One-Shot, Platonic (with Slight Romantic Implications? It's up for you to decide !) + Reader is !Fem

= Warnings: Childhood Trauma + Kidnapping Mentions, Child Death/Spirits, Struggles with Mental Health (Depression, Anxiety, Stress) + FNAF Movie Spoilers !

Morning birds flocked through the featherweighted clouds thinning across the fresh sky. A chilled exhale rattled out of Mike's throat, the cold dawning air nipping at his skin. His head was foggy with exhaustion, yet flickering with soft excitement. The streets were empty, much to his content. Crowded boulevards and sputtering car exhaust muddied his senses, he hated it more than anything.

He shoved his reddened hands down his pockets to shield the breezes from his fingertips. Mike hated the overwhelming traits of the outside world even more after his accursed job as a solo-unit of security. The crumbled children in the machines, Vanessa wilting away within her hospital bed and William. It was too much and he couldn't handle it.

This whole mess was the reason he was heading towards his local library, one he hadn't stepped in the years. It was the only place he was comfortable visiting now. It was quiet, no people to talk to, and he'd be able to pluck out his favorite contents in peace.

Mike had been particularly fixated on Sherlock Holmes, lately. The whole idea of mysteries had made him want to learn more, even after being injured at Freddie's. Weirdly enough, after scavenging through his old contents, it unraveled more and more about what happened those dreaded nights ago.

Mike hummed quietly as he lazily pushed the glass door. The silence calmed his senses. There were a few locals, but they were buried between pages. After awkwardly exposing his card and being gently discarded to explore the aisles alone. He started trailing around the mystery section. He couldn't pick one story, so he was doing nothing but strolling.

"Do you need some help?" A voice peaked his shoulders for a flash. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, sir."

You apologized, your voice was soothed. Mike shook his head gently, "No, no. It's fine, don't worry."

A smile spreads across your lips and you read the aisle with an eager eye. "You like mystery?"

"I've just gotten into it, really." Mike slid his hands through his curls promptly. It was strange how comfortable he felt, it felt tender, weird enough. "It's a sweet genre. I like it when it keeps me guessing. Gets my mind off everything."

"Yeah. Fiction is a great outlet, that's why I became a librarian." You explained warmly, "It's something I've always dreamed of."

Mike released a breathy chuckle in response, unsure how to reply.

You extended your hand towards the neatly rowed bookshelf, trailing your finger until you slipped out a rough looking cover. Your eyes wandered to him, "You like Sherlock Holmes?"

"He's actually the reason I'm here." Mike tilted his head lightly with a calmed grin. He had no idea why he felt so comfortable around some random librarian girl he had just met, but he had no internal reason to question it. "I have a few of his stories at my house, my little sister found them."

"That's adorable," you brushed your cheek. "Maybe you'd like this one. Personally, I think it's one of his most underrated works." You handed him the book, and his eyes flickered up and down in interest.

"Wow,"

"Cool right?"

Mike nodded.

"I don't think I've seen you before here, uh," You trailed off.

"Oh. Oh, sorry, I'm Mike. Mike Schmidt," He shook your hand softly. "I actually haven't been here in a long time."

You arched a brow, face still settled, "What made you come back?"

"Well, first off, Sherlock Holmes." He shook the book lightly with a low chuckle. "And, well, work. It's been hard, so, I thought I could read a bit to calm things down."

You curled down to pile some scattered books in your hand, "Well, I hope you come back again, Mike. Maybe we can talk about some more stories, outside of here of course. I get a bit loud with stories."

You both chuckled, "I'll come back. I could always use some more mystery." Mike had been clutching the book with eager hands, along with a fluttered expression. He hadn't connected with someone in quite a while. It felt refreshing.

"Well, I have to get back to work. Goodbye, Mike." You stirred back into the halls. Mike whispered in response. "Thank you,"

He wanted to talk more, but, he didn't want to hold you back. Mike's eyes flew down to the hard-leathered surface. He chewed his lip,

I should have asked her for her name . . .

And with that thought resting heavily in his mind, Mike left the library, with a giddy attitude and a little too many mystery books in his hands.

[sonia-kaspbrak-official]

Ranking all my son's friends from worst to best

6. Richie

I hate this child. I find his face most punchable and if I weren't a God fearing woman I would sock him in his stupid buck teeth. I don't like how he turned my son into a homo and i also dont like how he keeps making sex jokes about me. He's weird and I wish he'd stop showing up at my house. I feel about Richie the same way Eddie feels about Butch.

5. Beverly

Slutty mcslutface, little miss town bicycle, thirteen year old hussy. When I was a girl I knew a lady who looked just like Beverly, her and her friends attacked me with tampons in the ladies room. That's why i exclusively wear pads. I don't like how she dresses like a guy and I think her red hair just makes her more sexualized.

4. Bill

This little fucker eats ALL of our food when he's over at our house, i put locks on the cabinets but eddie opens them anyways. He talks like a broken record and if that wasn't bad enough he keeps getting my son into trouble with his stupid adventures. STOP TAKING HIM DOWN INTO THE SEWERS!! HES SCARED OF GREY WATER!!

3. Mike

I'm gonna be honest I didn't even know this one had a name because hes not on tumblr and Eddie doesnt even bother bringing him home. He's nice enough I guess. I still don't like him for.... undisclosed reasons.

2. Ben

This ones nice, I like him. We sometimes run into each other at the local plus sized clothing store at the mall or the sweet shop. He's smart and sweet, but I wish he'd stop complimenting miss marsh. She doesn't need anymore male attention. Stop it.

1. Stan

Stanley (or "stan the man" as my son will sometimes call him) is the best friend eddie has. He's basically a mini adult and he takes good care of my son (but not nearly as good as i do). He bird watches and he keeps to himself, which I find to he a very good trait in a child. 10/10 if Stan was my sons only friend i'd be content with that.

[violetmuses]

Armando Aretas + Receptionist!Reader ❤️‍🩹

Part II ❤️‍🩹

@amethyst-loves-bucky @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful @kindofaintrovert 🏷

=======

2024

“Rise and shine.” Smiling past Florida brightness, you reached the Miami Police Department.

“Good morning.” Detective Marcus Burnett greeted you first.

“Skittles for breakfast?” Knowing Burnett's sweet tooth, you laughed after organizing the entrance desk.

“Very funny, but no.” Marcus chuckled. “All jokes aside, I need to tell you something. It's important.”

“Is everything all right?” You squinted when Marcus walked over.

“Armando's joining our team today.” Marcus eased his tone and revealed that news just in case.

“Wow.” You whispered, preparing yourself for almost anything.

After facing many questions or encountering different secrets over time, Detective Mike Lowrey stood as the biological father of previous criminal Armando Aretas.

Before you'd speak with Marcus again, Mike's famous Porsche rolled near the curb.

“Act cool. Don't be nervous.” Marcus looked out for you no matter what.

“What's going on?” Removing sunglasses, Mike pulled his chance to wake up the building.

“Hi, Mike. Thank you!” Lowrey surprised you by exchanging this beverage from the local coffee shop.

“No problem, Early Bird.” Mike acknowledged one of your nicknames.

“Have a good day.” You grinned and planned to work again until “someone else” turned the corner.

Armando.

“Hey.” Slightly accented English rasped when you glanced near Aretas.

“Hello. Welcome.” You stayed cordial for obvious reasons.

“Thanks.” Armando expressed gratitude and noticed your presence before heading elsewhere with Mike and Marcus.

Here we go. You thought.

______

Countless responsibilities guided your footsteps all day long.

“Uh-uh, slow down! Cap your desk and go eat something.” Mike caught you working right before lunch.

“Yes, Boss.” You know so much better than to debate Lowrey, especially following Marcus's heart attack.

Burnett suffered that health scare when you attended Mike's wedding not long ago.

“Come with us, it'd be nice.” Mike even suggested riding in his classic Porsche. “I'd give you the passenger seat, but Marcus got old.”

“That's a good one, thanks.” Humored, you gathered essentials after shutting work down for the break.

Just when you headed back outside, Armando stood near the car.

Given no other choice, you both crammed the “non-existent” back seats of Mike's Porsche and rolled out when Marcus fastened his seatbelt.

“Sorry.” Armando glanced in your direction for a moment.

“It's okay.” You said.

“How long have you been there?” Aretas mentioned your work for the police station.

Your voice grounded more truth right now. “I know Mike and Marcus like the back of my hand. You're new.”

“Be careful, man. She don't play about us.” Speaking with Armando, Marcus turned his head from the passenger seat and acknowledged your friendship.

“For real?” Armando questioned you once more just as everyone reached this parking lot.

“They'll always be my friends.” You offered the truth and joined lunch.

_____

All four of you took places while seated at this local restaurant.

Your smile picked up whenever Marcus talked, but Armando remembered the past.

Too many comments or weird rants played out during that large-scale McGarth mission.

Now, you, Mike and Marcus seemed privy with bonding that Armando hadn't realized.

Damn. Aretas mused.

“He's stubborn, too.” Marcus gestured near Armando and referenced Mike.

“What did you do?” You gaped toward Armando with questions.

“Nothing.” Armando shrugged and you laughed once more.

Soon enough, that quality time zoned much better than expected.

Leaving the restaurant, Armando whispered to you again.

“Call me?” Aretas gestured his hand.

“Maybe…” You fooled around and planned to complete work like any other day.

______

Ordering dinner for the station, you're thankful beyond words as some rare balance welcomed that chaotic place. Time still pulled long hours, though.

“Busy right now?” Armando's voice reached your path quietly.

“What's going on?” You've casted both eyes toward the ceiling.

You're so cute like that. Armando thinks.

“It's getting late. Do you need a ride home?” Aretas pointed backwards.

“Drove myself this morning.” Your own car waited in the parking lot.

“Good point, but I don't trust anything.” Armando stepped closer.

“Driving Mike's Porsche?” You shut down work again as remaining officers started to leave.

“As long as you just follow me there.” Aretas nearly flirted.

“Deal.” You exited the precinct without telling anyone and drove your car, trailing Armando beneath moonlight.

*****

Meeting the doorstep, Armando guided you upfront this evening.

“Thanks for helping.” You've stood on that porch together while this RING Camera picked up imagery.

“You're welcome.” Aretas nodded and you finally took out your phone, exchanging contacts.

[wildsparrows]

Fledglings AU intro post

"I can be different, I can't be puppeted!"

Birds Of A Feather, or the Fledglings AU, is basically about five orphan kids from Playcare who narrowly avoid being experimented on for varying reasons.

The Fledglings AU is heavily inspired by a song. In this case, it's Bird Cage Blue And Yellow by Yaelokre. It fits enough that almost every lyric can correspond to an event in the plot in a sort of animatic, except I don't have the motivation for that.

The main five kids are based on the five kids from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. The Charlie in this case being Joseph, a minor character in the game who canonically was friends with Kevin and questioned one of the scientists after seeing them carrying Kevin off while he was asleep.

The other four are pretty much OCs, who are:

-Nathan Hauksson, stand-in for Mike Teavee

-Yara De Costa, stand-in of Violet Beauregard

-Scott Choudhury, stand-in for Augustus Gloop

-Lyssa Lee, stand-in for Veruca Salt

This is pretty much in the order of which kid escaped first, with Joseph being the last to escape. And by that, I mean he escaped during the Hour Of Joy, the day he was scheduled to be experimented on.

The four used to act more like the rotten kids themselves, but have somewhat matured since then. Same with Joseph, who's more jaded compared to his younger, bright-eyed self.

In a bad ending type scenario, I'd imagine them being turned into toys based on each kid's fate in the movie. Yara could be a Strawberry Shortcake-esque blueberry doll, Lyssa could be a plush squirrel, etc.

Going back to the Yaelokre song the AU is inspired from, I've added a lot of sparrows and birdcage motifs to the plot. For example, in any flashbacks showing one of the five kids during their orphan days, a sparrow will show up nearby to foreshadow their eventual escape.

It's mostly referencing the line, "Malayang Maya, Malayo-layo" meaning "Free Sparrow, Far Away". In contrast, any kid foreshadowed to be experimented on will have a taxidermied sparrow nearby, typically left by the prototype as a warning.

There's also an in-universe reason for the abundance of sparrows in the factory. Because in the AU, the scientists began experimenting on sparrows with poppy gel first instead of rats, luring the sparrows first with poppy seed feeders.

Birdcages would also frequently be seen in the lower levels. Sparrows still lurk in the factory because of the poppies that still grow in the labs, and it's not rare for some toys to look for sparrow nests to eat the eggs...if not the birds themselves.

I'd probably run this blog as an ask blog with the occasional oneshot in the format of a document or a tape. I won't always be able to respond due to college, and even if I do, it won't always come with a drawing. With all that out of the way, let's get to the rules for the asks:

No weird asks. All five orphans are underaged. I will allow the occasional dirty joke to slide since they're rat bastard teenagers, but I'd appreciate refraining from that anyway.

No spam asks. The more you spam, the less motivated I will to answer. I'd probably just delete your spam asks instead.

Anon magic is unfortunately not allowed for this one. Idk, I don't think it'd fit the kind of vibe I want this blog to have. OCs and other RP accounts are of course welcome here, as long as they're not too OP for the Poppy Playtime universe.

This is a Poppy Playtime AU, so it's of course gonna tackle a bunch of dark topics, and I'll make sure to tag and put trigger warnings outside of the usual death and child experimentation tws accordingly. Still, there may be some asks I might not entertain if it entails darker themes than what the AU is tailored to.

I have the right to not respond to an ask if it makes me uncomfortable for some other way not mentioned here. What? You want a refund?

Idk what else to put here, just use common sense and Netiquette.