#mightve been a stress thing or something

[averysmolkirbo]

GUYS I THOUGHT I MET THE HAT MAN FOR A SEOCOND HOLY SHIT

I just finished up all my dex work n stuff in Kitakami and the flight back was overnight so i took some benadryl before i went to sleep and on the plane and when i got back and went to the adcademy this guy in suit and hat who ive never met came up and to me (did not tell me who he was) and said something about taking me away somewhere and i guess i wasnt fully awake yet and still a little tired but having that series of events after taking benadryl scared me SOOO BADLY cuz i thought he was The Hat Man and he had come to kidnap me 😭😭😭

I didnt stop panicking until he started talking to director clavell and he told me who he was

i was trying not to freak out but clearly they noticed that i was about as pale as a litwick and then the man (who was NOT the hat man) apologized for forgetting to introduce himself before.

like im glad he's not the hat man here to kidnap me and steal my soul but HOLY SHIT MAN

oh yea the important part

so what he was actually there to do (not steal my soul) was INVITE me to be an exchange student at the other school from the Kitakami trip

they did clarify that this was an optional thing and i didnt have to go because i was clearly still Not Ok but like i wanna go anyways (i will NOT be taking benadryl on the flight)

so yea im going to unova!!! (after my heart rate returns to normal that is) thats what i wanted to say

ok well not unova exactly but. close.

ok so being a galar native and now i guess living in paldea i have NO clue what unova is like tbh so uhhhh tell me ur tips n stuff

[tan1shere]

Save Me

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: I know I got inspired by something but I can not remember- it mightve been from the show I just finished I dunno BUT I hope you all enjoy this angsty Rollercoaster 😁

Summary: Your life wasn't as colorful as it may seem. When you reunite with an old girlfriend you were finally able to get out of the hell hole. She took you away from all the harm. She, saved you.

Warnings: angst ! - happy ending duhr, abusive partner, ptsd - think that's it, lmk if I missed anything !

Tags (forgot to do this oopsies) @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @brat-at-the-disco @iluvapplesxh @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu

Masterlist

"Fine, whatever I'm too tired for this."

Those were your last words as you open the dark brown front door. It was the Christmas holidays so everything was hectic. Your life, family. Your supposed partner. Partners were suppose to be in everything together. You truly wanted to be but Bri, was far from any of that. You have been going out for over 6 years now. First few were wonderful, then the reality kicked in and you saw her for her true self. A fucking bitch. But you couldn't just leave. You couldn't and it was stressing you out. There was two main concerns.

One, she started getting crazier as years led on. So you had zero clue what she might do if you leave. Two, there was a bigger thing in your life that had your main focus. You couldn't, not right now. So you had to suck it up. Three words you despise. But it had to be done. It was another day of arguing, oh joy. This time you just couldn't handle sitting around the house moping because of her harsh words. Her horrid temper. It reminded you all to well of your father. Someone who you had finally got out of your life, only to be replaced with the exact replica. "My mistake." You breathe.

It was cold, you had grabbed the first jacket on the coat rack before you left. You needed something to drink or a place to hide out that was warm. And far away. You open the door to a little Cafe. Heading over and ordering a hot chocolate. One of your favs. You grab it, going to turn around when you were face to face with. "Oh sor- Billie?" Your head tilts, looking at all her features. Yup it was her. "Y/n? Oh my God, it's been years!" She gives you a hug, dipping down just a little. You were shorter than her, than alot of people actually. Maybe that's why you always felt so weak, so inferior.

"I know, how are you?!" You say with such a wide smile, you missed her. You think about her often. But like most high-school relationships they never tend to last. She eventually got famous, being bigger and amazing. She had moved in the process, which you couldn't do. You loved your home town. So ofcourse everything left on good terms. Mostly. You did hurt for months after. She truly was your bestfriend too. So to loose both at the same time, hurt a fuck ton. Maybe you never truly got over it. "I'm actually doing very well. You?" You think for a moment. "Yeah, peachy." Peachy?

You internally face palm. She didn't really seen to pick up on it though. Or maybe she did but she just wanted to leave it. "What's been happening in the years?" You both go to sit down at a empty table to chat. "Well." You start but stop for a moment. What do you even say. Do you mention your girlfriend, your home together. Your daughter. Yeah. That's the 'thing' you've been worried about the most throughout all this. "Well, I uh. I met someone. We've been going out for just over 6 years. We have a place together and yeah." You didn't know if you could tell her. Was it weird? Even if it was some high-school relationship. You and Billie had been dating for about 8 years. It wasn't just some silly thing.

How would she react. Billie was amazing with kids. Even back then she was just the sweetest, silliest around one. It warmed your heart. And that is who you pictured yourself with. Pictured marrying having your own children with. But no, it's gone horribly. Bri isn't great with kids. Never horrible to Carley, near incidents. But you'd never ever let that happen. Sure you let her tread on you, horrible to say but thats who you were. You haven't always been like this. It's her to blame honestly. She ruined you. But you'd kill for your daughter. You two had a special bond, super close. Maybe that angered Bri more.

"How about you? Now that you're massive everywhere. Do occasionally hear your songs from time to time my-" You cut yourself off. "Friends all love it too." She smiles at you. "Things are good, hectic but amazing. I think about you alot you know." You look at her, her eyes. Those same eyes that you fell inlove with. As you do you realize that feeling never left. "I do also, there isn't a day you don't slip my mind." A comfortable silence was in the air for a moment. Something you had missed between the two of you. So soothing.

No screaming, no arguing. You and her kept talking about anything and everything, when your phone starts blowing up. Texts, calls. You hadn't noticed at first until Billie says something. "And I thought I was the famous one." She laughs. But her eyes linger on your lockscreen. It was some child. You quickly pick your phone up. "Just probably emails and such from work." She nods. "Hey, speaking of that. What do you do now?" You smile wide. "Office work at the moment. But, it is leading up to what I want to do." She now smiles. "You always were very driven." - "Wonder who I got that from." You say, still having a smile on your face.

With work. Her and your job. You hadn't felt much recently. Kind of empty. Depressed. It wad hard keeping everything together for everyone else. But not for your own well being. Putting on fake smiles forever. But now, now you were genuinely smiling. Something Billue has always succeeded in doing. Whenever you were sad. Instant cheer up was her. Her hands go to touch yours. "Let's keep in touch this time. Please. I have to go but I'd love to catch up properly next time." You reluctantly nod. "Yes ofcourse. I should probably go too. Get to these texts and such." You both stand going to give one last hug before leaving.

She still smelt the same. God you felt like crumbling, crying. Letting everything out. You cry alot actually. No one sees it. Whether it's a little one at work, or at night while bri is out somewhere. Drinking. Carley had caught it once. You tried telling her it was just a sad movie you had watched. You hated lying but the less she knows the better. She needed parents who loved her. Who didn't fight infront of her. She pulls back putting her hands on your head. "It was good bumping into you." - "Like wise."

Bri.

Where tf did you go.

Get home for fuck sakes. We can sort this out.

And pick up Carley. I'm not doing it.

"I'm not doing it, you do it because you don't do anything all day, while I sit on my fucking ass drinking. Blah blah. Blah." You grip the steering wheel letting out a dry breath. What has this life become. You saw it differently. You had managed to get the dream job. But in reality that wasn't happening. Another thing you lied to Billie about. Your boss was an asshole. Another one in your life. She treated you poorly. Which was interesting because you were the one making the good money, you made a bunch. Bri? She doesn't do anything no job. You then get distracted by the radio playing one of Billies songs. You turn it up.

Scoffing at what one it was 'Lost Cause' "What perfect timing radio." You laugh a little, how ironic. Deciding to clear your mind and sing on your way to pick your daughter up. She was having a little play date with a friend from school. Once you get there she's already out and coming in to see you. "Hi mama!" She says cheerfully. You smile so wide. "Hi pumpkin, had fun!?" She nods, putting her seat belt on. You were so proud when she came home saying she had a friend. Carley is quite a shy girl, like you when you were younger. So it was such happy news when she came to you super excited. "Her mums really nice too, you'd like her, and oh my God they have fun snacks." You smile. "I bet I will, that sounds so fun baby."

You get into the house, afraid. You never ever dreamed of being afraid to step into your own home. But you had Carley. Bri would never ever do anything infront of her. You made sure of it. "Go play love, dinner will be ready soon." She runs upstairs and that's when shit happens. "Where the fuck did you go?" You sigh, going into the kitchen. "I went to go clear my head. You know what that's like." She shakes her head. "For nearly an hour?" You stay quiet, getting things set up. "Answer me damn it." - "Yes for nearly an hour." She stares at you. "I want steak." "Didn't plan on doing that tonight." You mumbled. "What was that?" A quiet sigh leaves your lips. "Yes babe. Steak it is."

That's what it was usually like. You'd always avoid arguments. You couldn't bear it. Not only because you hated being yelled at, but you never wanted Carley to hear. She shouldn't have to hear such things about her parents. Bri goes back over to the couch. God you were miserable, how did you attract such fucked up shit.

Ever since Billie left that day years ago, you'd been a mess. You were blind to everything. She kept you grounded and once that was gone. You didn't know what to do with yourself. Lately you've been sleeping alone. How lovely, sometimes it was. Having the whole bed to yourself. Others, it was just lonely. Tonight you wanted to revisit those times, reminisce on old memories. "Mama?" You hear Carleys small voice. "Yes baby?" She comes over to you, getting on the bed. Or trying to. "I just wanted to say night, whats all this?" She picks up a Polaroid of you and Billie. "Old photos of when I was in high-school." - "Who's this mama?" You look at the photo she had in hand.

"Just an old friend sweetheart." She nods. "She looks kind of familiar." You so wanted to tell her about it. But you just couldn't. Carley actually adores her music and has many merch pieces in her room. Which was what you were going to say to Billie earlier today. "Yeah. She was pretty memorable." She stares at more laid out. "What happened, why arent you friends no more?" You take a moment, getting choked up by one photo. "Uhm, just went our separate ways. She was on to bigger and better things, and I was still figuring things out." You smile at her, motioning for her to come over to you. You kiss her head. "I love you. Go say goodnight to mommy too, yeah?" She nods, going to get down. "Ok mama!"

A few days had passed and you were planning to meet Billie. You got to go home earlier that day so you decided now was the time. You met at some beach, a calm place to take a walk. "So it's the job you always wanted, the one when we were younger?" The sand was warm, calming everything inside you. "Yeah, not yet but I'm close to." Liar. "I'm so proud of you! Gosh, we both got what we wanted." Your eyes look down, it was all lies. Your whole life. "Anyways enough about me. Hows fame treating you?" She laughs a smidge. "Great but alot of the time not. Majority its amazing. The fans are sweethearts but I hate calling them that. They're just- friends I haven't met yet." You loved how warm she was towards everyone. Happy that hadn't changed in the slightest.

"Latest album has been out for months now and it's doing great." You nod. "It's probably a favorite of mine, I love all the songs. They're absolutely beautiful." She gives you a soft smile. "Thank you, it means alot coming from you." You look at her confused. "Why so?" "Because I loved your judgment years ago, you were so creatively smart. So cute with your ideas. I admired it." Your smile was loving. You haven't heard such nice things in a very. Very, long time. "Well I'm glad I could be of service." Her laugh comes back, booming in your ears. God you missed hearing it. "You still look beautiful, different. But still gorgeous." You blush at her words. "Different?" - "Well, we're all older but you just look so, elegant and-"

She chuckles to herself. "Who is this lucky woman, she should be cheering out of her mind." Your demeanor changes. "Oh stop." You then try to hide. Hide your true emotions. "I mean it! She should know how lucky she is." A silence grows. One with hanging questions, lingering. "Who was that on your phone the other day?" You look at her bewildered. "Your lockscreen I mean." Shit, she did see. "Oh, just my friends daughter." Her brows furrow. "You have your friends daughter as your lockscreen?" Nice going. "Uhhh, yeah I'm like her aunt and she's just so adorable." You just hoped she'd move on. The less she knows the better.

You were currently at Billies place. She invited you for lunch getting to see her brother again after all these years too. You were currently sitting on a soft couch, soaking up the silence between one another. Until...

"Who was that really. On your lockscreen." You smile slightly. "I told you-" "Y/n, I use to date you. I know exactly when you're lying." Everything goes still. "Do you have a kid?" You slowly nod. She looks at you. "Why didn't you just tell me?" Her voice was so soft. You hadn't heard a soft voice other than your daughters in a long time. It was just yelling, yelling and more yelling. "I just-" She gives you a look knowing you were about to come up with some pathetic story. "I didn't want you to know the real me." She laughs a little. "I already do. I knew it all those years ago and I still do. But, you have changed. You're more timid." Your eyes move, looking at her.

"Spill, come on." You sigh, shakily. "I'm not perfect, nothing in my life apart from my daughter is. I didn't want you to think less of me." Her face softened. "I could never. I've always seen you as amazing." You smile again, she always brought out the true you. Maybe thats why you haven't been yourself over the years, she was missing. "When can I meet this angel?" You freeze. "Uhm, I dunno. It's just." She waits for a reply. "I don't think that's a good idea." Shes confused. Incredibly confused. "Why?" "I think I should go." You stand up going to leave but she's quick. "Did I say something wrong?" Your head shakes. "No no! It's just getting late I should get back." Something funny was up, she had a feeling.

"Alright.. I'll text you." You hold a thumbs up scurrying out of there. She was going g to find out whatever it was you were hiding. She needed to.

Another day of arguments. Carely at school. Perfect opportunity to scream. "You're fucking stupid." - "Why now, I've got a million-" Her hand lands straight on your face. Shes only ever done it twice and it ofcourse shocks you each time. She was getting worse and it just frightened you. Who knows what could be next. "Are you talking back?" She sounded like some sadistic man. She sounded exactly like him. "Bri." - "That was a question darling." You cringed inside, swallowing. "No.." She hums. "Good. This argument is stupid, just get back to cleaning." You just wanted to scream and shout. She was insufferable. You hated how weak you'd get whenever she'd yell, it brought up your ptsd. And it made you realize why the slapping didn't bother you as much as it should.

Another thing he did. Did he train her or something it was like being a kid again. Your childhood being relived.

There was a knock on the door but the vacuum cleaner cleared that sound out. Carley on the other hand was in the living room right next to it. She gets up, opening it and gasping. "Y- you're Billie Eilish." She was dumbfounded, feeling like she was dreaming. "Sure am, is your mum home?" She blinks. "My mama? She's hoovering. Come come." Billie giggles at the little girls choice of words, following her into the house. "Mama! Billie Eilish is here, Billie Eilish!" You turn it off shocked. "How did you-" "I know my ways." You stop what you were doing. "What're you doing here?" Carely was so giddy it was nearly impossible to ignore. "Well I hadn't heard back, so I decide the one way that I knew I'd get your attention."

"Just showing up at my home?" You laugh a little. "I mean you wouldn't be able to escape." Carely pokes Billies hand, causing Billie to look down at her. You were so thankful Bri was out drinking. Never a sentence you thought you'd ever utter but here we are. "Ms Billie Eilish, I loveeee your music." Billie laughs again. "Shes interesting." You smile. "She's the sweetest, always so polite." Billie smiles more. "You like my music huh?" Carley nods frantically. "How do you know my mama?" Billie looks at you, not sure what to say. You bend down, wiping hair out of her face. "You know those photos I was looking at weeks ago and you saw that little Polaroid? That was her." She looks at Billie. "Woahhh you were friends with her back then?" You nod.

"You said we were friends." You stand back up. "Well yes, I'm not going to talk about relationships to her she won't really understand anyways." Billie gives you a look. "You're hiding something." You grab the vacuum. "Is this why you came over here?" She nods, making you sigh. "There's nothing Billie I promise." Carely then taps her hand again. "Ms-" "You can just call me Billie, angel." She smiles at her. "Billie, can I show you my room?!" - "Well Billie must be going soon." Her brow raises. "Am I now?" "Mhmm, so be super speedy baby." She pouts. "Naww, ok mama." Carley grabs Billies hand taking her into her room.

You prayed Bri doesn't come back anytime soon. But you doubt she would. "I have a little collection of your stuff!" Billie smiles looking at the CDs and necklaces, even a tiny little purfume bottle as that's all she'd need. The cutest thing ever is she never wants to waste it. You stand at the door, watching. "Wow you have quite a collection little miss. I'm very proud!" She giggles. Picking up the perfume. "I always do one tiny spray each day before I got to school." Billie looks at you. "She the cutest thing ever." "I know." You say lovingly. "What do you say about a bigger one? Just from me. I can give it to you in a few days."

Carleys already bouncing up and down. "Oh my God! Yayyy, Billie Eilish is giving me her perfume!" The jumping continues making Billie smile and laugh. "It's ok, really you don't have to do that." - "I'm not taking no for an answer miss thing." She puts a finger up. Making your eyes roll playfully, ending with a smile. "I better get going kid. In a few days yeah?" Carley nods, watching Billie bend down to hug her. It was so gentle and sweet. This, was how it was suppose to go. Exactly like this.

"I'm home!" Bri yells, Carley flying into her arms. "Mommy!" She smiles. "Hi my princess." You come down to see her, surprisingly not as drunk as she usually is. Damn it. You kinda wished she was because- "What's that smell." Shit. "What smell?" She sniffs. "It smells like perfume- strong one too. Nothing that you wear either." Your heart rate escalates. "Hey mommy! Guess who I met today!" Fuck fuck fuck! "Who did you meet?" "Billie Eilish!" Her brows furrow. "The singer? Now where on earth did you meet her?" 3. 2. 1. "She came to the house!" Bri raises her head looking at you. "Did she really?" Carley nods. "Well that's awesome darling, why don't you go up to your room and blast her music for me?" Fuck. "Okay mommy!"

Her little legs sprint upstairs, soon after hearing a slight boom of the songs. You go to speak but a hard slap goes straight to your face. "You said you blocked her." Shes backing you up. "I- it wasn't planned we bumped into one another in a coffee shop-" You back up in the process. "Cut her off." "Bri-" Your back hits the wall making you gasp. "I can't ju-" Her hand grips your throat. Your eyes widening. "Cut. Her. Off." Flashbacks flicker making you panic. "B-bri!" Her grip tightens. "I don't want that stupid bitch in here again, especially while I'm not here." Your eyes water from the impact her hand is causing. "Understand me?" You nod as best as you could. "Good. Dinner." And that was the last thing she uttered, heading upstairs. You fall to your knees catching your breath.

Knowing that's going to leave a nasty bruise at how harsh she was gripping. You try to calm yourself down, you had to keep going like you were fine. But it was getting harder and harder as days go on.

A few days go by, and you had completely ghosted Billie. You were more scared than you were before, that whole incident the other night was mortifying. So you sadly just listened. The bruise was still there not as evident but noticeable. You had put makeup on it to make it even more invisible. Then something you dreaded happened. There was a knock on the door and you go to open it, ofcourse it was Billie...

"What's happening? I texted you but you-" Her eyes wander. Your brows furrow as to why. Her hand goes to touch your neck. "Is that a bruise?" Fuck, water had splashed when you were doing the dishes. "Oh uh- just burned myself? With a straightener." Curse words fly in your brain, you both knew how horrible of a lie that was. "Did someone do this to you?" Your head shakes quickly. "No i-" But there was no point I finishing, Bri was right behind you. "You must be Billie." She looks at her. "Yes! You must be Y/n's girlfriend." Billie sticks her hand out, only for it to stay there.

"Can we help you." Your gaze lowers, hating every second of this moment. "Uh, I was just coming by to drop a few things off for Carley." And in the nic of time there she was rushing to the door. "Billie!" Bris teeth grind together. You Look out the corner of your eye, cringing. "Hey I, got a wholeeeee box load of stuff for you." She gasps, looking at all the different merch items. "Billie, you really didn't have to." She gives you a smile. Knowing things are strange right now. "I'll just head off, nice meeting you." The door was slammed. Making Billies head turn. She was about to leave, but she overhears.

"I thought I told you to cut her off." You look at Carley. "Go to your room baby." Her features change. She looked scared, the tone is Bris voice not only frightening you but your daughter. That's the last thing you wanted. Now you were angry. As she runs away you look at Bri. "Cut that out." She looked appalled. "The fuck did you just say?" You look at her. Little did you know this most definitely wouldn't go further. "You promised you'd never act that way infront of her." Bri scoffs. "Yeah well guess what I did. Wanna circle back to what you just said to me?" "Yeah. I told you to quit being a piece of shit, especially infront of our daughter."

This was no slap. Far from it. Her fist meets smack dab in the middle of your face. You tumble back at the impact, tripping and landing on your ass. Smacking your head hard, on a wall. You grab your face, but everything was happening fast. The door swung open. A cry was to be heard. Your mind races to that trying to get up but your being pushed back down. Now you're the one in tears. You knew those cries, and you needed to get to them. Everything blurs, your head spinning in the process. You hear a muffled voice saying something along the lines of 'you useless cunt'

But you couldn't care less, all you were thinking about was Carley. Your vision clears a bit, seeing her run over to you and hide behind you. You grip her hand, trying your hardest to stay as conscious as possible. When more smacks are heard you hide your face, hiding hers with it. You soon feel hands grabbing at you. But you were too scared to even fight it. Grabbing Carely in your arms. But it wasn't Bri who grabbed you. You were half way out the door when you realized it was Billie. She hadn't left. No words were spoken, cries from your daughter and swearing clouded your ears.

You look into Billies eyes feeling hopeless. And that's all before things went black.

Your head stirs, eyes opening a tad. You were on some couch. Your head pounded as you sit up slightly. Where were you.. But it clicks when you hear a female voice. Everything floods back. "Where is she?" You say frantically. Billie pushes you back gently. "Shes fine, she's ok. She's downstairs playing with shark." You relax slightly. But that doesn't last long as tears spill out. She brings you into her arms, holding you securely. "It's ok, you're away. You're here. You're safe." You violently shake as things become intense. Her hand soothes your back as you sink further into her touch, her warmth. This stayed that way for a good minute. Before you calm down just a bit.

"Why didn't you try telling me?" Her thumb swipes under your eye. "It's not that easy.. She was the only one I was concerned over." Billies eyes drop with sadness. "You were miserable babe. You needed to think about yourself too." "She was all that was good in my life." You say, tears silently dropping. "I didn't want to screw anything up." The tears start to resurface. "Hey hey, you didn't you're the best mother ever. She's so loved by you, even if that stupid bitch didn't. She knows she's loved. You've done great." It made you want to sob more. Not because you were hurt by her words.

The complete opposite. You hadn't heard such kind things in a very long time. "I'm here. I want to be in your life again, help you. Help raise her even. I miss you and I've never stopped loving you." Her confession makes your tears turn to happy ones. You leap forward and kiss her sweetly. "I've never stopped loving you either." Your foreheads touch, savoring this beautiful moment. "Mama?" You then hear Carleys small voice. You turn your head, wiping your tears. "Hi baby." You smile. "You're ok mama, you can cry." Your face softened, gesturing for her to come over. "You know I love you yeah?"

She nods kissing your cheek. "I don't like mommy no more. She hurt you." She hugs you tight. "I just wanted to protect you." Carley moves to stand infront of you. Her little hands on either side of your face. "You did mama." You kiss her bringing her in close. "Besides, Billie said she can be like my new mommy!" You laugh a little. "You said that?" She shrugs. "More or less." Billie winks at carley, making her grin.

Things were exactly how they were always suppose to be. You lived with Billie now, Carley having a bigger room. More to choose from. Your job was fully sorted, much to the help of your beautiful girlfriend. You felt such love from Billie. She never let you cook unless you really wanted to. Nights were always warm, sleeping beside you. Kisses for days, never ending. She's incredibly good with Carley too, which wasn't surprising. You were currently watching TV, Billie and her sitting on the floor. But let's face it, you weren't actually watching TV, how could you when the two people you adored were being so cute infront of you. "Nooo!" Billie says in the silliest way, playing whatever it was with her. This was the happy ending you wanted.

Although. So much was to be uncovered. Things left unspoken. The drama was surely not over yet.

- uhm so.. might be a new series ? This was unplanned but my brains BURNING with ideas.

[baxndaid]

Hello! I have a request!

Can I have a headcannon of LMK? where female reader is sweet but has really bad luck? ( Like she would almost get hit by a car, incoming ball to the face, tripping, accidentally falling down the stairs, bumping into furniture or people, and light poles, flower pots or signs almost falling on her. And not just her getting hurt but generally things that won’t work with her like a soda getting stuck in a vending machine, losing her wallet and opening a bag of chips but it gets ripped apart instead and falls over to the ground. )

So I was wondering if Mk, Redson and sun wukong actually found this out by hanging out with her and does everything to protect her or put her out of harms way? And maybe they secretly like her? ( I thought this idea was cute and funny so I hope it’ll be fun for you! )

mk + redson + wukong x reader 🧷🧃⏰ -- who has horrible luck!!️

a/n ; this is soo cute, also im just going through my asks rn so if u requested, itll most likely be answered soon!! ilyy

sun wukong !!

☆ he thought you were just real dumb as first icl... just sweet but stupid

☆ you had such a cute innocent smile i mean come on how could he not think that? just so ignorant, yeah, thats it!! thats why your always in danger silly

☆ at first he found it so funny like he tried to hide his goofy little smile but it wasnt enough - watching you trip over literally anything was hilarious

☆ sometimes he thought you mightve been cursed by a demon - how does somebody miss their bus by a minute every single day? you cant be human, theres no way somebody is this unlucky? whatever nagito...

☆ he did find it funny when you wasted a whole 90 yuan on vending machine snacks that didnt even come out, and he did find it funny when you started kicking said vending machine, and he did find it funny when the vending machine spat out drink cans onto your head as a result of your abuse - he can admit that

☆ but he started to get concerned about your safety whenever you even thought about crossing a busy road

☆ im not even kidding - the second you stepped on the road he had to yank you back by your shoulder onto his chest, there was a truck coming right for you

☆ he scolds you a little.... just a little

☆ not harshly but he just wants you to be safe - so he does something to protect you (and embarrass you for scaring him with that whole road incident)

☆ he carries you everywhere, EVERYWHERE MAN... and he shows off a bit too the cheeky bastard - throws you up and down, does somersaults, carries you like a sack of potatoes just to embarrass you more

☆ he doesnt do this a lot though, with your luck? you two would probably be hit by an aeroplane

redson !!

☆ he so damn annoying with it "god your so clumsy" WDC!

☆ hes very very protective - like annoyingly so bc he acts like he doesnt care at all (he is PANICKING)

☆ please play with his hair im pretty sure hes more stressed than you are even if your the one whos being attacked by random vending machines and flower pots on the street atp

☆ his ass is NOT letting you leave without him anymore

☆ yeah yeah hes gonna act all "god your such a nuisance, i have to take care of you like youre a child" WDC!

☆ you would hardly see the effects of your bad luck with him because he prevents it as much as he can - he sees that your wallet is loose and about to fall? he got it for u!! "did you just touch my ass?" "w-WHAT?!"

☆ hes never doing that again, have fun losing your money

mk !!

☆ he gets you frr

☆ you both just chill together, he DOES try to prevent the more harmful situations that you may find yourself in like traffic and... vending machines

☆ but hes a baby, he cant help you with getting your coins unstuck in a sewer because he himself probably has his whole wallet in there somewhere

☆ you both look out for each other

☆ see a puddle hes about to slip in? call out, he sees a car coming? he calls out

☆ overall you both have a lot of ... ehem... baxndaids.... in your bags just in case you two do something stupid - whether intentional or not

lmk masterlist

[socksracoon10]

look i am not a lando norris fan at all but for the lando fans pls have SOME decorum we're all stressed about the race coming up, we all have our favorite drivers that we want to win I get it, this is a crucial part of the race. At least on my views, i don't want Lando to crash or DNF like yeah it would help max but i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy so at the same time stop wishing it for max, dont wish that for any driver imo because that's childish and rude on top of all this, lemme clarify max will NOT try to crash into lando on purpose (ive been seeing posts like that)... i fear people keep forgetting that max has matured a lot more than people give him credit for. He raced clean in Brazil, the worst he's done as of late was his classic pushing them off track limits move but any other driver would do the exact same thing at the moment in order to secure their championship. at the end of the day, it's so funny how a number of people that the drivers have never met will go on long rants to tear down another driver. I have my thoughts about lando, I get mad too and I say stuff not ONLINE where others can read. i think we all need to calm down keep our thoughts in our head and if your argument is "b-b-but other people are - but other people are doing it they're saying mean stuff!" THEN BE THE BETTER PERSON??? dont stoop to their level thats all i wanna say at the end of the day youre not their parents, youre not their gf/bf, youre not even an acquaintance... you are a person on tumblr... that they don't know... dont defend them to death, dont whine about them to death just watch the damn race, pray your driver does well and if they say or do something wrong accept that they did something wrong and move on with your life thats literally it ok im done ranting lol (i mightve gone crazy in the tags lol)

[dol-dee]

I mightve actually found a way to canoninize the avery collar/leash scene ive been drawing/writing about. All thanks to the absolute shitfest Dee had to wade through on that bloodmoon*. My not-girl's going through it and its opened the door for several things.

I finally got the Punching Sydney scene so I can actually see it as a "canon" event in Dee's file now. It also allowed me to rationalize Dee going to the pub and joining Whitney at his table (bc shed normally just ignore him and his friends) and it gives me a reason why she'd do something so risky as to collar and dom Avery. B) b

*worked the whole day at the spa, realized last second that its the 31st Jan, so its bloodmoon time.

Goes home changes and immediately leaves for the forest.

Has to go dive in freezing temperatures, risking hypothermia among several other things.

Dives under the ice, into the plinth room.

Finally gets the slime out of her ear but gets "attacked" by Tentacles.

Is able to fight them off (all while still underwater) and finally get back to the surface. climbs out of the water, gets attacked by the Wraith this time, who she SUCCESSFULLY fights off!!?

Freedom?

Don't be silly! A group of 6 Cult women strap her to some ritual table, once shes fully out of the water, in the freezing cold and gangrape her.

So at this point Dee's stressed out of her mind. Trauma steadily rising. Shivering, covered in cum that might freeze to her, with no clothes and her hands still bound.

She makes her way out of the forest but gets intercepted by EDEN who truly has a gift for showing up at the worst time.

She ALSO rapes her, until Dee is able to fight her off in the second struggle, when she wanted to tie her up even more. ALL while Dee's arms are still bound behind her back!!!

So Dee books it, passes some dude chopping wood in the forest (in the night??) whos thankfully gives her a towel (but doesnt undo her bindings for whatever reason) and makes it to town

Some dude of Remy's almost kidnaps her but she finally makes it back to the orphanage

gets rid of the rope and takes a bath after slowly warming up for a while..

and makes the mistake of falling asleep out of exhausion

Has another Dream/Flashback of the Wraith and has to fight it off in her Dream

Sleeps little, wakes up early and has a Breakdown in Robins Arms first thing in the Morning before school (It's a wednesday)

Avery comes in second place after Eden for "Person with terrible timing". by offering to drive them to school. Dee shoots her down quite a bit harsher than she usually would.

Its a regular school day Whitney only showed up once thankfully

Dee tries to hide in the Library to have another breakdown in peace but runs into Sydney

Dee snaps, resentment finally boiling over and she punches Sydney. She already regrets it.

She buys Sydney new glasses before fucking off

[coruscqte]

dear @lesbianbootheng + @sundays-wing-piercing ask and ye shall receive! i have some answers for you about xiayu under the cut :)

the astral express trio:

- xiayu’s parents! dan heng, stelle and march 7th are probably one of the longer passengers of the express, definitely spend a couple years (read: closer to a decade) still aboard the train with pom-pom, himeko and welt

- (crossing every finger on my hands himeko survives hsr)

- regardless of what happens towards endgame, the three of them are dating for quite a while before dan heng finally actually asks to mate with both of them. stelle and march (obviously) readily accepted. i think march made a bigger deal out of it than the other two intended it to be, but it was a cute little party with their friends to celebrate it.

- (perhaps the luofu races have mating ceremonies? headcanon i suppose)

- im not sure if marriage is a concept in hsr (as we still havent come across any married couples yet) but they have matching jewelry. necklaces, with jade pendants on the chain. for two people who use two handed weapons, rings were out of the question anyway.

-xiayu was wholeheartedly an entire accident. i dont think dan heng ever expected to be able to have children of his own for obvious reasons, it probably never really crossed stelle’s mind, but march mightve had some serious baby fever a few times in those ten years. just because they were cute, not so much because she wanted to raise one.

- but i also think all three of them were pretty okay not being parents because being a nameless is dangerous work. as many times as theyve come home to the express scratched and beaten to hell, it wasnt something they wanted to put onto a child.

- but again, xiayu. she’s an odd little bean. mostly because how she came into existence at all is a bit of an ongoing question even bailu's still stumped over decades later. vidyadhara shouldnt be able to reproduce, yet her running theory is that something about the stellaron + vidyadhara biology interacted and the three of them just got unreasonably lucky.

-(or unlucky, if you ask a very morning sick dan heng)

-i don't care to get into the nitty gritty or even just details of how one child came from three different people, im very handwavey in that sense. easy enough to say dh (for lack of better terms) incubated her egg, she stayed in said egg for another couple months after being “born”ish and pop goes the new vidyadhara baby lol

- egg! i hc xiayu came out of an egg just like any other vidyadhara, but she cracked out of it way earlier because she’s a brand new person. in that in between time thought, she was carried around by the three of them. one of them was always with her, whether on them or in the little nest she stayed in.

- march was no longer allowed to go shopping for xiayu somewhere around a month or so before she was born. himeko was required to go with her if she wanted to buy anything else for the baby — one kid only needed so many things, and march was not the best about staying on topic. or budget.

- stelle was also, naturally, excited. but mostly curious, after all the only vidyadhara child she’d met was bailu, so she was a little concerned itd be different from human children. still, shes the one that assembled the creche and such, as well as sitting w the egg most of the time. the stellaron helped keep it warm.

- i think dan heng was the most worried about xiayu. from the fact that he was the one who incubated her to another fact that theyd created a whole new person together, he was a bit of a nervous wreck. tried not to show it much, failed pretty miserably towards the end of that period.

- xiayu’s egg cracked while march and stelle were away on a trailblaze mission, terribly harrowing moment for everyone involved when dan heng called in a panic. thankfully, she waited to make her proper debut until her moms could be there but dan heng had never been more stressed

- i have a very clear vision in mind of their skin-to-skin session directly after xiayu cracked her egg. gently pulling the shards off their daughter, cleaning her up a little. pulled close to stelle’s chest, warm and so soft. all three of them absolutely in love. there were tears. lots of them.

- so, so small. even with the extra time in her egg she was still smaller than most vidyadhara “newborns”. certainly smaller than dan heng had been — had he ever been that small? as innocent as the little person staring up at him? he doesnt know.

- and a million and one photos taken by march afterwards. she documented all of her achievements and milestones with her trusty camera. she never wants to forget these moments, her first moments as a mom, her first moments with her daughter.

- stelle is so content with her baby. parenthood was something she’d been mostly neutral on the whole process, and yet it seemed like everything they did was worth it. healthy, cooing in her arms, these cute little fingers that all wrapped around one of her fingers with a surprisingly strong grip. oh yes, xiayu was her baby. she’d be up to bat soon enough.

about xiayu:

- xiayu was a terribly fussy baby. never wanted to be left alone, never really wanted to nap, cried probably excessively. but she also babbled plenty, was all too happy to spend some time on her parents hip or to see the stars outside the express. this is why welt coined the nickname nova for her. the way her little eyes would light up in the parlor car seeing space was just adorable.

- dan heng purrs. this is relevant because i think a content xiayu also purrs.

- floppy toddler. likes to scare her parents a little by just going limp whenever. contrary to stelle’s belief, this is not as funny as xiayu thinks it is to her other parents lol.

- stelle likes to toss xiayu in the air. dan heng is not as big of a fan. march im not sure minds, she just loves that xiayu is happy.

- stelle is more of a … hm, a mom who cares a lot but doesn’t smother. likes to let xiayu figure things out on her own, see the world for herself. of course, she always keeps an eye on her, ready to swoop in whenever.

- march is more of an emotional mum. she leads by her heart, as per usual, and xiayu usually goes to her for comfort naturally. ofc she goes to all of them, but if she just wants to be babied, its march she seeks out.

- march and dan heng are usually the ones dressing her, you can tell who did what rather easily.

- dan heng isnt … strict per se (he values xiayu’s autonomy and freedom just as much as he values his own) but he is more worrying than stelle or march. perhaps its because she’s the first new vidyadhara theyve had in literal centuries, or that a fear of the preceptors finding her scares him shitless, or just trying to keep his own fears in line, he keeps her safe the best he knows how — with his tail wrapped around her middle if she wanders too far away.

- (though, xiayu thinks this is hilarious and attempts to run away a lot. it was a curse for her to pick up toddling so quicky)

- she has a raccoon toy that goes with her everywhere lol. his name is caelus 😌

- infinite loop of “goes ask your mom” “go ask your mum” “go ask your dad”

- stelle is called mama, march is mummy, and dan heng is baba in the early years. as xiayu matures it becomes mom, mum and dad.

- auntie himeko and uncle welt! xiayu likes to see the maps and such that himeko works with, and welt usually has a different selection of books than dan heng has. it’s a treat when they visit.

- the four of them live on the luofu until xiayu is about twelve. it’s simply safer to have a baby in a more concrete location, and have a permanent home base. they disembark the astral express for a few years, but promise to return when she gets a little older.

- given they dont stay long. dan heng is far too paranoid about the preceptors doing something terrible to her, and xiayu isn’t well received by the wider vidyadhara community. people find out eventually that she’s a descendant of dan feng, and hell breaks loose. when she comes home crying one day from lessons that her playmates won’t play with her anymore, dan heng blames himself even if his partners tell him not to.

- jing yuan does enjoy her visits when they bring her around. after all, who could say no to such a cute face? (march concurs. dan heng is worried about the pair of them). a beloved baby under the watchful eye of the luofu’s general.

- bailu is just happy to have another baby vidyadhara around, though the concept is a bit foreign.

- xiayu doesnt call the luofu home, which opens up confusion when introducing herself. the express is her home, moreso than somewhere that didnt even truly accept her.

all about trailblazer xiayu:

- xiayu herself is a bright soul with a great deal of trailblazer branded curiosity about the world around her. she just loves to explore, and has a semi decent sense of direction — its rare that she gets truly lost

- if she were playable, she would be nihility / imaginary. five star, obviously.

- her tone is a little bit deeper than that of march’s , probably alongside the timbre of stelle’s.

- star carver was commissioned by dan heng for her, and march and stelle had some input on it as well. theres a three star motif on the hand grip and on the axe blades themselves. its her birthright and beloved axe, though she doesn’t use it much until she boards the astral express as a proper trailblazer when she’s about twenty.

- never a quiet moment with xiayu. she always has something to say or something to share. bit of a yapper depending on the parent shes with. she and march are usually the ones doing something together, while pompom has probably lost a vase or two in the observatory car to xiayu and stelle working w their weapons. she doesnt really do the whole silence thing well, but it is comfortable with her dad while they work on separate things in the archives.

- i do think dan heng tries his best to teach xiayu about her heritage. whether she dislikes the luofu or not, she does still need to know what his kin do. im not sure if shes terribly talented with cloudhymn magic though, considering shes only been to scalegorge a few times with her father.

- xiayu i dont think considers herself vidyadhara. only for her lifespan, but otherwise chooses not to identify with them first. i think the wider community is split on opinion, but most are just in awe of her existence.

- at twenty, xiayu is considered a full trailblazer, and begins accompanying the current passengers on missions. by this time, stelle and march are both around 50ish, so theyre not always in attendance (similar to welt) but when they can be, they are.

- i think her parents are, understandably, a bit protective of xiayu when out and about on missions. they compromise that she always keeps her phone on if she just Has to go wandering around, but otherwise theyre usually together.

- she is not allowed to touch the archive, even as an adult. only for entries not organization lol

- she does get her own room on the express! big window to space, little window rest for her to sit and more often, nap on.

- i think she takes after march the most, easily. but you can see dan heng in her mannerisms, her quiet thinking at times. its stelle you can see when shes in a fight, those swings are trailblazer brand lol. and perhaps, when she goes about collecting trinkets wherever the express has stopped — akin to stelle’s foraging.

- re: vidyadhara: vidyadhara usually live anywhere from 10 days to aeons know how long. for those aboard the xianzhou alliance, likely children remain a bit younger-minded for longer. xiayu has always considered herself an adult when her parents began treating her as one, so her experiences on the luofu are a bit skewed. to put it simply, she is not particularly happy about some things being age restricted to those a hundred years and over.

- primarily, sushang and bailu are usually the ones accompanying her out and about. this helps her get around these restrictions a lot of the time.

- now, all good things usually come to an end. by the time xiayu is barely forty, march and stelle are already in their 70s. its odd, watching your moms age and grow grey hairs and wrinkles while your father looks nearly the same as he has all forty years youve been alive.

- they return to their old home on the luofu for their twilight years, while xiayu remains on the astral express.

- stelle doesn’t live to see xiayu’s fiftieth birthday.

- (contingent on hsr not removing the stellaron from the trailblazer) the stellaron was already corrupting her since before xiayu was even conceived, and age catching up with her rapidly doesn’t help. she passes away relatively quietly in her sleep at 74.

- xiayu was with her, curled up on her side. she won’t ever forget that moment when her mom didnt wake with her.

- the rest of the family is, obviously, devastated. little spider cracks appear then and there in xiayu, trying to stay positive for her parents. arguably not dissimilar to march, but even she has to admit that things won’t quite ever be the same without stelle.

- march goes later. it’s quiet, when she goes. dan heng is the one to discover her this time. around when she’s eighty six. xiayu is barely fifty five.

- this is where i think xiayu’s brand of whimsy comes in. xiayu has always been between worlds, treated like a short lived person by her immediate family, treated like she’s live centuries by her peers. in that disconnect, xiayu’s mental cracks.

- she calls stelle and march as if they were still alive, just waiting on them to pick up their voicemails. she takes pictures for march, sending texts and just ignoring the error messages. after all the signal is probably just bad, right? she keeps stelle’s original jacket to wear and march’s hair clips, after all, theyll come back soon enough.

- dan heng tries his best to cope for the same reasons. hes known that he’d outlive his partners, but hadnt been really thinking about it until theyd moved back to the luofu. he tries to keep xiayu safe the best he can, to the point of occasionally overstepping. shes not allowed to leave into the mara struck areas without sushang or yanqing, shouldnt be away for too many days. even on the express he has her check in with him or with someone who can contact him.

- its a mess. they both love each other to pieces because theyre all the other has left, but dan heng hasn’t exactly helped much to cope with march and stelle being gone. if anything they just keep feeding into each other.

- but for about fifty years, it was truly joyful. after all, caelus still accompanies her on her travels.

edit: send in writing / art prompts for her if youd like! ill happily do even more brain rotting over her by request lol

[ask-jamtheimp]

Day 6 of Regressuary

Theme: Crying

Characters: Jam @theogclownboy 's Toby, Zeek, and Ellie

Fandom: Helluva Boss/Helluvaverse

Summary: Toby talks to Jam about what happened and how he feels as well as better ways to deal with his social anxiety. Jam tries to help Zeek feel better.

Authors Note: This is a continuation from Day 5 so go read that if you haven't! Also this fic tackles things like social anxiety, panic attacks,autistic meltdowns and slight SH so if those topics are triggering to you please do not read and stay safe please.

Toby put Jam down on the floor. Jam was already shaking and crying. He was in so much trouble! He promised he didn't mean it! He can still remeber the feeling of his tail being pulled by all those bullies when he was younger he hated it! Toby could already tell Jam was stressed. And contrary to Jam's belief he wasn't angry either. He was just confused on what got him to act that way. "Jam. Kiddo your not in trouble okay? Papa just wants to know what happened between you and Zeek okay? I promise you aren't in trouble." He said as he took one of Jams hands in his. Through sniffles and sobs Jam was barley able to manage out "he-he pulled on my tawi an-and-and it-it was just wike when-when dey use ta do it befow! An-an i hate befow! I-i didn't wanna make him sad! I-i didn't I just hate dose mean-mean peoples! I don't-!!" He said before running short on breath. He was so utterly frustrated with himself. Every breath he took felt too shallow no matter what. He couldn't think straight his mind was just one loud scribble. He wanted it all to shut up so badly. Jam took both of his hands and balled them up into fists before hitting himself in the head with them. Hard. Immediately Toby grabbed his hands so he wouldn't do it again.

"Jam! Jam please-hey please don't do that...its not good its gonna hurt you bud. Look at me. Look at me please Jam." Toby said still as gently but as urgently as he could. Jam didn't have his panic attacks often but when he did they were bad. Although never this bad. He figured this mightve been a result of a meltdown and a panic attack at the same time. Quickly Toby hugged Jam tight to his chest to muffle any noise or light with his fluff and hoping that the texture would get him to calm down. What went from wailing and struggling to get his hands free to hit himself again calmed down to whimpery and hoarse crying and Jam's spent body. He mumbled into Toby's fur. "M bwoken papa...can't tawk ta no one wifout panickin n actin so so stupid! Imma dumb stupid head!" Toby cut him off quickly. "Jam you aren't you are the most lovely little tot I ever had the pleasure of meeting and caring for. The closest ive had to a son you hear me? You aren't stupid or dumb. You just seem to have social anxiety. And that's okay pup. We'll work through this and I'll be with you every step of the way okay?" Toby said as he gently pulled Jams face away from his fluff to wipe away his tears and gently kiss the top of his forehead. "I'm sorry you had to go through that in your past pup. But I promise your tail won't be pulled in that way again okay?" Toby gently asked as he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and started to clean off Jams face and help him blow his nose. "Mhm.." Jam responded now feeling less manic and more tired.

After a little bottle break and a talk about ways to deal with big emotions and social anxiety Toby was recapping with Jam. "Okay and what do we do if someone we don't know, like Zeek does something we don't like?" "Ask him ta pwease no do dat. An tewll papa too if it make me feewl weally weally stwessed." Jam said, and was met with a pat on the head. "Smart boy! See? You pick up fast. What do you say now kiddo? Are you ready to go back out there? You don't have to play with Zeek if you don't want to. You can just stay with me until we go home if you'd like." "Nuh uh! I wanna say sowwy ta Zeek fow yellin n makin him cwy." Jam said as he messed with the sleeve on his sweater. "Well that's very mature of you bud. I'm sure he'll appreciate it." Toby said with a nod before heading back into the living room with a still crying Zeek and Ellie trying to rock him to calm down. "Oh dear are you two alright?" "Yes Ellie we're fine, although I think I should ask you if you and Zeek are doing alright..." "Oh yes im fine! He can just be a bit fussy sometimes is all. Exceptionally fussy." She said as she patted Zeeks back. Jam inched over to him although seemed to flinch when Ellie looked at him. "Oh, little one is there something the matter?" She asked when she noticed the little flinch at her gaze. "Um...youw not...not angey at me wight? M sowwy I yewlled weally loud an made zeek cwy. Papa says i have so-so-um...soso ant-diet-tea." Ellie chuckled at the littles mispronunciation and smiled. "Its alright little one, im not mad at all. Considering your reaction I know you didn't mean it. I could tell it was just a little mishap and thats okay! Mishaps happen sometimes. And im glad you apologized." She said with a gentle smile.

Jam felt a lot better now. Ms. Ellie seemed nice! He was glad she wasn't super angry at him. Although he had one last person to apologize to. But first he had to stop crying. Jam climbed up onto the couch next to Ellie and looked down at Zeek, he wasn't sure how to stop people from crying but he did know what Zeek liked. He dangled his tail in front of him and wagged it around a bit to have it jingle. Zeeks crying quieted down as he then looked up at Jam. "Oh it's working!" "That's my clever boy." Toby said approvingly as Zeek grabbed onto his tail again. Jam flinched hard and closed his eyes to remeber what Toby said. He wasn't grabbing his tail in a bad way, and Jam was bracing himself for pain that just never ever happened. No pulling, or name calling, or shouting. Just Zeek gently shaking his tail to make the jingling sound again. Jam allowed himself to relax and Zeek started giggling. "You go ding-ding!" He shouted and Jam smiled "Yeah! I go ding ding!" He agreed, now feeling a lot better that Zeek was feeling better. Zeek sat up and crawled off of Ellies lap and immediately hugged Jam. Jam was....confused at first but then slowly wrapped his arms around him to return said hug. He mumbled. "Um zeek...m sowwy dat I went all cwazy on you. Won't do it again I scout-pwomise." He said as he held up the symbol for scouts honor. Zeek laughed trying to copy it himself but not quite getting it right. "Dats a funny hand fingy! Buh it ok! I fowgibs you!" He said as he pulled back from the hug. Both caregivers looked at eachother relieved that everything had resolved calmly between the two. Ellie piped up "Are you two little ones hungry? I think its time for lunch." Both littles cheered before following behind her for a much needed lunchtime.

(Image by @theogclownboy )

TO BE CONTINUED ON DAY 7

Hope you enjoyed! Please like and reblog to support!

[superkirbylover]

hey im sorry if this is a weird ask, but like i was about 11 when i found a roblox rp server ran by you, now long discontinued but in that server i met my first ever internet friend roleplaying. we were friends on skype until eventually they made me move to discord. being on discord lead me to meet other people, and after a long time and joining a couple communities, i met my girlfriend, and a few years later, right now i'm moving into a new house and we're going to be moved in together. none of that would be a thing if i never made a discord account to talk to my friend that i met on your roblox server. so like. thank you. i still follow what you do to this day out of a sort of respect and the knowledge i would be entirely different without that domino effect. i mightve left a youtube comment or some kind about this before? but to my knowledge ive never really told you about this. idk how to end this but like. thank you.

thank you so, so much for the kind words! they made my day today and left me with a huge grin on my face that refuses to go away

i've been told many times about how the roblox rp game, the epic crossover (aka TEC) has affected people. i've been told it's affected people in a good way, and in a bad way. in my experience, it's been a mixed bag-- i've gotten a lot of harassment when i ran the discord server for TEC. it even got dragged to twitter, years later when i talked about my experiences running it publicly, and how i was chased out of my own discord because i got pissed off that nobody said anything to the mods when someone dropped their suicide letter in a vent channel, spearheaded by someone i'd like to keep anonymous (but will call them A for sake of simplicity). there was a callout post that got deleted based off of those events. person A allegedly has/had DID, giving me anxiety around people with DID for a few years. years later after those events, based off of what i was told, allegedly A was faking it. i don't know how true this is, but if this was the case it would make sense. they used their alters in the server in order to shame me and gang up on me, or at least that's how it felt. other admins on the discord and in the roblox game itself have told me that helping me run it all was also immensely stressful, even after i left, and i feel an incredible amount of guilt surround it.

however, those same friends told me a lot of good. they've met their best friends, partners, and realized who they were because of what i made. in a sense, i found out who i was because of TEC. sometimes, though, i doubt that the positive impacts outweigh the negatives. i get really worried about how my actions impact others. and being told this, it really means a lot. i'm really happy i've been able to have that kind of impact on you, even if we don't know each other. it feels nice to bring something positive into somebody's life.

roundabout way of saying: thank you. i'm hanging this on my mental fridge forever

[nyaqtn]

♪(´ε｀ ) 19/08/2024; [9:02 pm]

im thinking of a fun way to start my entries... "dear digital diary..", "hiya tumblr".......... hmm ill think of something fun for my next post..

anyways :3

my small bebi hamster is turning her wool-filled-porcelain-strawberry upside down as i am typing this... her name is shio (meaning salt in japanese), shes a 4 week old, white/gray, dwarf hamster that i adopted a few days ago.. i am filled with a sense of parental responsibility and am feeling the need to watch over and protect her at all times. (ok i mightve just over-dramatizised this a tiny little bit)

school is starting in a about two weeks and ive been trying to figure out how i feel about it.. on one hand i feel excited and am maybe looking forward to having places to be, things to do and fun assignments to complete .. but on the other hand i am utterly terrified and could explode at the thought of entering the big wooden door out front ......

im about to start my fourth out of five years and everything is starting to feel more serious... teachers have been talking about how this year will be the most nerve-racking, leisure-time-consuming year and its supposed to prepare us for writing our thesis, sewing our final collection, dealing with all the graduation stress, and and and and..... theres just so so many things to do.. i have to find an internship for next summer, be part of the mandatory junior company we have to form and create and well, as if all of that wasnt enough - i have tons of exams, presentations and assignments to get through..

i like keeping busy, going on study dates with myself, feeling productive and wearing fun outfits to school :3 i hope those things will keep me going throughout the year.. only two more to go..

ive been thinking about my future a lot recently..

[multiplicity-positivity]

hello. i've thought for a while now that i was a system, but i think i mightve been wrong about it. maybe its just denial, but i dont know... do you have any advice on how to try & figure this out? thanks in advance

Hi! Our best advice for you will come in a few parts:

1) Research

Learn as much as you can about different forms of plurality, starting with dissociative disorders and working your way through. Our resource post for questioning systems may be a good jumping off point:

The more you know about different kinds of systems, the more likely you’ll be to be capable of pinpointing where your experiences align!

2) Attempt communication

Make regular attempts to contact your potential headmates. Don’t strain yourself for hours one day, then spend weeks without thinking about it - instead, try to reach out a little bit every day. Our post on establishing contact with headmates may help you here:

3) Go slow and take it easy

If you feel yourself getting stressed out or overwhelmed trying to figure this out, pump the brakes and give yourself some time without thinking about plurality or your potential system at all. Center and prioritize your mental and physical health over discovering your system. If you really are plural, your potential headmates will appreciate you taking care of the body and mind y’all share!

4) Know that it’s okay to be wrong

If, after a period of questioning you realize that you’re not actually plural, that is totally fine! You’re not harming anyone or doing anything wrong by questioning plurality, and hopefully the process can teach you a bit more about yourself even if you’re not actually a system!

Still, we do have a post for folks struggling with denial, and it’s the final thing we’ll link in this response:

We hope that something here can help put your mind at ease or set you on the right track. Best of luck to you with everything!

🌸 Margo and 🖋 Cecil

[heungmins]

pls tell us the sk nt beef im on the edge of my seat

if you dont know what shit show is going on over at south korea nt, i’m happy for you <3

so basically what happened was after the uruguay vs south korea friendly that took place yesterday, where we lost 2-1, minjae did a post-game interview, looking all dejected and his voice was all quiet, and he looked exhauseted, which you know, fair, but he’s usually really energetic and loud. really fucking loud.

but then he went on to say things along the lines of “i’m very exhausted mentally and physically and i want to focus on my club right now, not the national team.” and the interview was short, but that was basically all he said? i’m not taking anything out of context or anything, even though im biased on this, he’s still korean😭 then the reporters, who were kinda taken aback, asked, “is this something that has been talked over with the kfa?” and minjae just sort of pursed his lips and said, “i can’t say an agreement has been reached” then told them that was all the interview he was gonna do for the night.

korean fans went crazy, obviously????? quite obviously???????????? he made it sound like he was gonna retire and there’s history behind this bc korean fans never like it when players retire from nt before they retire completely bc loyalty whatever but minjae’s like 26 and at the height of his career (maybe) and the person that holds our defence together and everything

and people were mad bc like that’s so fucking irrational and soooo unprofessional bc fucking it over with your club is a different business than the national team, and talking like napoli was more important than your country is just.. yk. icky. you’re carrying your country’s pride on your shoulder, you REPRESENT your COUNTRY when you run with that 태극기 on your chest, it’s not just some silly business

and I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH… koreans take country pride loyalty INCREDIBLY seriously like we’re just a country of fucking insane people

like a day later, he made an instagram apology, turned off all his comments, and he said something along the lines of,

“i work my ass off every game because playing with my nation is important for me, and i can’t believe the 50 something games ive played for the nt is being “taken away”/bashed because of a foolish comment i’ve made, i was just dejected from the goals that went in as a defender, i’m not retiring, sorry to all the staff and players and fans i may have upset”

and like, ok

sure

but the problem was that he blocked??? heungmin?????????????????

son heungmin????????

his CAPTAIN????????????????????????

HE BLOCKED SON HEUNGMIN HIS FUCKING CAPTAIN………………??????????????????

let that simmer let that sink in

he unblocked him now obv and they followed each other back and all now but.. what??????

and we dont really know what happened.

like they couldve had a whole another argument or whatever (though it’s highly unlikely) but many speculate (THIS IS A SPECULATION) that it was bc heungmin after the game posted stuff about how carrying the 태극기 on his shirt while he plays for korea is always an honour .. the way he does after most intl games, but minjae mightve thought that it was like . him being shady .idk

according to the kfa, klinsmann (sk nt new coach) is going to visit italy next month to get to the bottom of the situation .. whatever sure mhm

[ankhisms]

have experienced what feels like 800 emotions in rapid succession on a rollercoaster today and it hasnt even really been a bad day honestly or anything im fine you know how it is

my mood swings have just been a lot stronger than they usually are since thats one of the biggest things my meds are for theyre like supposed to be a mood swing stabelizer but anyway

something that im aware is related to my more severe paranoia and obsessive compulsive issues but is less severe and more just adjacent to those is like being scared that im somehow a hypocrite about various random things or that im somehow secretly an awful horrible person who hurts people and does bad things without me even realizing that im doing that. im also aware that this very much stems from the way my abuser treated me and also the behavior of ""friends"" i had when i was younger who just now as im older i realize honestly didnt even like me and kept me around to make fun of me and be cruel to me together as a kind of group bonding thing.

which sucks because when im doing self soothing techniques and trying to calm myself down or even just approaching these thoughts and talking myself thru things it can be hard to counter the fear of "what if my friends or people i know in general actually talk together about how im an awful person and they hate me or talk together about how ive done something wrong without telling me?" with "no thats not fair or true and not based in reality" because it very much WAS reality for me. not in the sense of me having done something "wrong" in the past with those ""friends"" but like them being cruel to me and making fun of me when i wasnt around and the things i did ""wrong"" were just my autistic traits and other symptoms of my various mental things especially during that period of my life where i was completely unmedicated and had just gotten away from my abuser and was still in the awful school environment of being harrassed every single day.

anyway its really like. i know i shouldnt worry about this, rationally i know this. but just because i know something isnt rational it doesnt make my brain stop obsessively thinking about it so its like i could see someone saying "i hate when people go to the moon and jump up and down and sing the abcs" (ridiculous example bc i cant think of anything else) and i could at first go oh yeah i get that and like their post but then my brain will go but what if ive done that without realizing it and they see me liking their post and they go "ugh rey this post is about YOU and people like you and youre such a hypocrite and dont even know it" and the spiral begins. and in the end i guess all of this just goes to show that having people pretend to be friends with you only to hate you and ridicule you and pick apart every little thing you do behind your back really fucks you up.

also thinking about the ex close friend who cut me off out of nowhere with no explanation for seemingly no reason about a year or so ago now and ive continued to have kind of taking off the rose tinted glasses moments where i loved and cherished this friend so much that i excused how shitty they treated me at different times. not at all saying they are or were a bad person or that there was any abuse going on or anything like that but im just realizing that we both come from dysfunctional abusive families and we both have our own physical and mental problems and so throughout our friendship we both mightve not made the best choices or couldve handled things better and im not exempt from that. but also i realized that he would not tell me if i had done something to upset him and it would be like a guessing game for me and would really stress me out and make me feel awful

and its like. now as im older i would want to be able to talk things out and understand what had happened and be able to apologize and work on doing better. and in general thats something i really try my best on like i think in the past i would really get stuck in obsessively overthinking in self analyzing and get into moral obsessive compulsive spirals that just ended up hurting myself more than helping me grow, and anyway i always want to be able to step back and look at myself and my actions and be willing to listen if someone tells me ive done something hurtful or that i need to re-examine my behavior and beliefs, i think im pretty good at listening to people about stuff like that and have gotten much better about not falling into those spirals i just mentioned and examining myself in smaller healthier doses

but at the same time i do really get worried that people just arent telling me that theyre upset with me or that ive done something wrong or hurt them in some way. i really just want to be a good friend to people and i dont want people to be scared of coming to me and talking with me if ive done something to hurt them or to just talk about things with me in general and i dont want people to think im so fragile and mentally fucked up that theyd be scared of upsetting me by telling me id done something hurtful and letting it fester instead. i dont want to hurt people i want to spend my life making people happy and helping people and being a good friend, thats what i want most out of my relationships in life overall. i want to make people feel content and happy and safe.

but idk i just get scared. please be honest with me be upfront with me be blunt with me even i know im traumatized but i wont shatter into a million pieces if you tell me youre upset with me ill appreciate you being honest about it and ill stop whatever it was i was doing or work on it. i know im bad with social cues bc of autism and if i misunderstand something or say something inappropriate/out of my lane due to this please just tell me yknow

i really hate that my brain is like this and that having been abused and mistreated in the past has made me struggle like this because i want to trust that people arent talking badly about me or angry with me secretly i dont want to be so paranoid i dont want people to feel like they cant be honest with me or that im made of glass and that ill shatter if they tell me theyre upset with me, i want to trust that the people in my life like me and dont secretly hate me and im really trying hard but paranoia isnt something i can just magically wave away yknow its something im probably going to be dealing with for most of my life and im always kind of scared that people are going to get tired of my paranoia

despite living in survival mode constantly i still love all the people in my life a lot and i just want everyone to be happy and safe and i always wish there was more i could do to help everyone and i want everyone to be able to thrive and to be living comfortably and have all their needs met and to get all the help they need i love everyone a lot i want everyone to be okay and yeah

have also been majorly overthinking about if i want to do something that im being vague about as i ramble about it which i know is silly and its not even like something bad or negative but i just keep overthinking about the possible what if scenarios of oh what if i do this and they react really badly and cut me off and never want to talk to me again and due to this im also unfortunately like overthinking most things recently and being even MORE scared than usual of coming off as weird or being weird and making people uncomfortable but aint that just the way yknow. ill either do it or ill be a coward

anyway besides that my days been pretty decent its a lovely early autumn day. after typing this all i realized im probably feeling super emotional and weird because i just started my period lmao but thanks if you read this i love u mwah

[godza]

*cracks my fingers* i want to write an actual review of the books i just read, all of us villains + all of our demise. both books were read within a month, and i fucking devoured them. i did most reading when i had time during school, and rarely got to sit down and devote large blocks of attention to the book, so some parts may be disjointed in this review. hi @see

ok, 4/5 stars. i take that star off for literally one reason! spoilers for the sequel below

WHY THE FUCK DID ISOBEL AND REID START DATING? WHAT ON EARTH? it confused me so bad. like yeah stressful situations create bonds but reid kidnapped her and she was terrified of him for days. and we’re just going to accept that she starts liking him? i dont like reid at all. sometimes he was entertaining, but he mostly served as a bad comic relief. to be honest, i did skip some scenes with them bc i found the relationship so annoying. so i mightve missed something, but i dont believe in relationships stemming from kidnapping. yeah they kidnapped each other, (times reid was kidnapped count is at 3) but man. isobel does not have a good track record with boys. she was one of my fave characters but i feel like her end with reid didnt do her plotline justice. the characters are hero, villain, princess (damsel?), and underdog. (not my words i got that from another post) and the beginning of isobels story subverted the princess stereotype wonderfully, i liked the media aspect and how she was manipulayted by her family and friends (story wise. not a good thing) but her final choices never made sense. after she returned to the tower her story went off course. isobel whyyyyyyyy

ok now for other aspects of the story. alistair and gavin were a wonderful pair. it was very unexpected after the first book since they barely interacted, but very nice. i was reading the romantic moment in the middle of class so i didnt get to abosrb the words a lot but i thought their story was lovely. who doesnt love a kiss when someones dying! it was kinda funny that they were making out while there was a corpse on the ground and who knows if the attackers retreated. their epilogue ending was. sure. but it was fitting for them both. i liked their character development and i miss hendry so bad i loved his character. i liked the entire cottage living part. it was rlly funny that well briony and the others were fighting for their lives up in the tower they were fucking cleaning. just fucking cleaning but cleaning to the death. imagine how fucking mad briony would be if she heard that.

speaking of briony....... i guess it was expected. i didnt think all 5 of them would survive. fucked up that she died in the castle though. i think if she died then finley shouldve been focused on more, but briony sacrificing herslef seemed like a fitting end. she played the hero till the very end, sacrificing herself in the house of the villain. ohhhhhhhh brionyyyyyy.

ok overall great modern fantasy story. i loved the media aspect and how the world is watching the brutality like hawks. a fantastic work in the ya genre. thank you ms mac for not caring that i was always on my phone reading instead of doing work. ok thats enough of my thoughts i was more focused on the characters. bye bye goodnight

[shaaaaaaar]

i’ve had a post in drafts for a while now about if i’m neurodivergent because like a third of the people i meet end up forming an opinion on if i’m neurodivergent (usually autistic but i’m mostly using broad terms for this post) or not and always get INCREDIBLY passionate about it. i’m not diagnosed with anything, not at time of writing, and there have been people i’ve met who are genuinely SHOCKED by this. because i’m so obviously neurodivergent that the fact that nobody thought to get me diagnosed is mind blowing to them.

as well, part of the draft was about the opposite side of the coin, the people that will very strongly deny i could be anything but neurotypical. the main example i have is my old pediatrician, who really did not like the idea i could be autistic.

it’s midnight, and being bored i remember that post and go back to edit it a bit. go look over that second part about people who disagree and notice how i barely have anything to say. not many examples, not many funny stories, nothing. i think about it further, and there’s only been one or two people that were ever against the idea i could be neurodivergent whenever it came up. i don’t even remember who the second person mightve been beyond they were someone who existed.

as well, my old pediatrician was really bad with anything involving my brain. which yes, wasn’t her primary job, but when i say she was bad i mean she has given me advice that is literally HARMFUL because she completely ignored that i have mental health issues or i’m trans or something. and because she was my pediatrician, my main doctor, and she very strongly denied i could be neurodivergent, i never got tested.

it’s the total opposite with people who think i am neurodivergent. most of the people who have expressed a similar idea to me are neurodivergent and see a lot of themselves in me. hell, i was telling someone about this trend and that i found the bit really funny and i literally got a deadpan serious response, “it’s not a bit. you’re autistic.” even better, the first time someone suggested i might be autistic was when i went to a therapist for the first time

the more i’ve thought about and reflected on it, the less funny it felt and the more frustrating it began to be. not like there isn’t a lot of humor in it, besides humor is how i cope with when i’m frustrated at something, but goddamn, this is all so disorienting and upsetting. my neurotypicalness/neurodivergency is nothing but a what-if.

when i have conversations about my brain with people who think i’m neurodivergent, i feel out of place. because i’m being treated by my peers like i’m neurodivergent, and yes, there’s a damn good chance i am, but i don’t know that for sure, i can’t actually include myself in what people are claiming i’m a part of. it messes with me, and i never know what to say other than mention (multiple times) i’m not diagnosed. yet i look back on the past 18 years of my life and think to myself about how if i learned about this shit earlier i might’ve had a better childhood. because if i am neurodivergent, i could’ve had an environment that was less stressful and better suited for me because i could understand that i need different things sometimes.

i’m just frustrated with it all. fuck, i’m frustrated that this is a thing

[dripping-black-goo]

Yesterday I started off as feeling okay. I exercised on the treadmill while watching The Simpsons. Then I went for a walk outside. I walked the streets in the snow.

When I got back, I had this sort of mood swing. I came into the house catching my breath. And then my mom was asking me how much I would charge to do someone's cat litter. And I said "around $10 if it's just the litter?" My mom said that sounds like a good price. And then my dad started yelling at her, saying "$10?? really?? I wouldn't even leave me house for that! I'm serious! what, you're gonna make $5 to go drive to somebody's house? it's $5 just for the gas to get there! I sure as hell wouldn't do it!"

i said to my dad "jeez you don't have to yell" which he didn't respond to

that all stressed me out. 1, because my mom wanted to post on Facebook about me working for people, helping them with their pets. she took it upon herself to write this whole thing up. like I just got home and she was asking me what I'd charge and I didn't even know what she was doing. I ended up telling her "just let me write something for you to post because I know what Id offer and I know what id charge" and she said "I want it to say what I want it to say, it's my page and you're my son" and I was like ???

and my dad responding so aggressively and loudly over it. I had just gotten back inside and it was just a lot, really fast. I didn't even have time to recover from the long walk. it was a lot for me to handle and it put me in a sour mood right away.

it affected me in a weird way, like I wasn't just upset, my whole body and mind changed and I felt unstable. I was so upset and I didn't know what to do about how I was feeling. I felt out of control and out-of-it. I don't know if i got overloaded with adrenaline or something? since I just got back from the walk? it felt really uncomfortable though.

some things that mightve caused it:

i had 2 cups of cacao rather than just 1

i exercised too much. I went on the treadmill and went for a walk.

im going down on my meds. mood swings are a withdrawal symptom

my parents were simply triggering

maybe ALL of these things caused it.

i ended up eating a lot of sugar, I was hoping it would make me feel myself again, hoping I was just having some kind of reaction to eating healthier and lowering my sugars. it didn't really help. I ate it then fell asleep. the nap helped a little.

when I went to go back to sleep again come nightfall, I was having anxiety and feeling stressed. the house was so noisy and chaotic. I was feeling sensitive to sound and really not wanting to be bothered. it can really be a lot living in this small apartment as 5 people. I hardly get any privacy. I'm glad I have a door that locks at least but it doesn't drown out sound, it doesn't drown out presences. and my room is right next to the living room/dining room/kitchen, where people are all the time.

i ended up putting on the fan and listening to binaural beats to drown everyone out. it did manage to soothe me.

im thinking, too, that the past few days, both my parents have been home like nonstop. my dad hurt his toe and couldn't work for a few days, it snowed so my mom couldn't work her driving job, and it was the weekend. just no privacy. no quiet. no "just me". I need it to be just me sometimes.

i haven't been able to drive either because my jeeps tailpipe fell off and it can be risky to drive like that. the exhaust fumes aren't sent to the back end of the vehicle, like they would be with the tailpipe, and you can get asphyxiated. my parents say to just roll down a window so it doesnt stay in the car but I don't want to risk it. I don't want to inhale any at all. my body is sensitive to things.

[kindlyfunkn]

in other news though this past month or so has been maybe the worst of my life, was already feeling down about everything but now my cars fucked up again. power steering pump is shot, terrified me driving to the garage the other day (for just an inspection, an inspection no repairs, so i can get my car re-registered. ffs.) bc it started blowing smoke out of the hood and the wheel suddenly locked up.

couldnt get a hold of anyone but idk none of my friends either have cars or are free during school/work hours this was maybe around 11. my first instinct was to call my mom but she was unavailable, shes been travelling bc of my cousins wedding in alberta and mightve still been on a plane maybe idk. but she would've probably called my dad anyway bc hes the one who could actually help me, i called him right after my mom didnt pick up.

he lives 2 hours away though, i was within walking distance to my house so i just called to ask what i should do. the switch in his voice from neutral to worried was funny, especially bc ive been giving him sort of the silent treatment since we got in a petty fight. he contemplated if he could come out to town to have a look but remembered his friend craig and told me to stay where i was to. his friend is someone ive met before and had look at my car before too, and he lives out in town.

so craig was really nice, got some power steering fluid for me, drove my car for me (bc he's used to driving junk) to the garage and spoke to the mechanic for me, vehemently denied my attempts to pay for the fluid and cab fees. he told me its really funny how similar i am to my dad when we need help. he said that he told me: "you're shy like him, you stutter like him, you're nervous like him... uh no offense."

anyway so the garage wasnt able to do anything for my car bc if they didnt have the parts to fix my steering then they couldnt complete the inspection, but he didnt charge me anything so that was cool.

gotta make another appointment at a different garage.

also, speaking to my mom last night i told her how awful thingsve been. headache almost every day, i cant sleep (other night only got to sleep after 7 am, then the next night only got 3 hours, as example), how when i got up i just started crying full waterworks and i wasnt even thinking about anything. didnt tell her how i keep wanting to get drunk at night bc my thoughts just run rampant, done it a few times now. the headaches come with or without a hangover though, i grind my teeth at night. my guard was missing for a while but recently ive found it i just havent been wearing it though i should.

i didnt mean to unload anything on her just give her an update how ive been feeling bc i havent had anyone to talk to really. dont really like to vent really seriously to my (twin) sister, and my older sister (whom i live with) doesnt ever really seem to care—i feel like i cant really be upset when im around her bc she always has something happening at work or whatever. plus she keeps saying things that make me feel worse or more worried and she doesnt realize how awful ive been feeling, a few times when expressing that my head or back hurts she offers nothing except "do you want to try my meds?" NO i dont want your prescription meds!! i did take one of her migraine meds once bc they wouldnt work for her so the last pill in the bottle she offered to me and i remarked that it worked a charm, but the new meds she has now are different and strong enough that apparently they are sometimes given post surgery. sure ibuprofen/naproxen and tylenol dont work more than half the time for me but im not going right into strong meds when im taking other things. my sister doesnt take any meds other than the migraine stuff, i do take meds, i dont want any interactions.

but anyway i got sidetracked, i'll tag with the sister vent tag too. anyway i kept what i said to my mom short and simple, didnt think much of it bc sure ive been stressed out and demotivated (what else is new) and just needed to get off my chest. hate complaining to my friends i feel i do it too much. mom gave me support words of encouragement stuff like that, but told me she'll look into therapy options for me if i want since im still under her and my step moms insurance while im a student (which i technically am, exams and classes are done but still need a workterm and we're only considered fully graduates until we complete a workterm). baffled me. i used to see a counsellor (not by choice to start and i got put in dbt which sucked but i could cancel so i did bc it wasnt going anywhere. dbt mightve helped but it was on a webcam and i leaned out of frame to grab my pencil once which dropped to the floor and i was scolded so i thought this sucks im dropping this lol) but it never did much for me, but i didnt expect my mom to bring up therapy outright. we dont really do/see stuff like that in our family.

but yknow a therapist may help me right now bc everythings going south and im not that smart with adult things yet so much that i think its detrimental, so i think i said yes. if it turns out i dont need it then i can just drop it, but i think somebody unbiased who knows how things work would be able to help me a lot. its just for figuring my life out.

woof this js a huge post. did not mean to write so much and meant to keep this simple and to the point, but yknow im incapable of being concise its a curse. wasnt even gonna talk about my car initially but just started rambling. anyway thats my shitty life update