#might rewrite this later but have a peek at him!

[ferigrieving]

when hell freezes over.

⊹ ࣪ in which touya todoroki finds himself.

a.n sorry this took so long i rewrote it like ten times because it wasnt going where i wanted to and it still lowkey isnt but i think this is the best ill do and im too excited to get to the later chapters so i might just rewrite them all to be better when im done ! i dont know im just really passionate abt this fic i literally got a writing notebook just for it...

tag list ; @itgetzweird08 !

⤷ masterlist ; requests open ; two – 2006 ; four – 2010 ; 4.4k words

touya todoroki was eight when his hair began to turn white.

his father had given up on him. said there was no point in training him. not when his quirk began eating away at his body everytime he used it.

every night, you would find more, and more burns. some more severe than the others, the skin peeling and rotting in ways you didn't know was possible. and every night, you’d place your cold, cold hands on him, and heal him as best as you could.

sometimes, you wanted to stop. your quirk made you feel like you had been plunged in an ice cold bath, hands holding you down as you struggled to breath. you could feel the ice creeping into your veins, threatening to freeze you from the inside out. but you kept on pushing. for touya. for the boy who couldn't give up, even if he wanted to.

“enji went to the doctor’s today.” touya spoke, leaning against the trunk of the big oak tree. “said i cant use my quirk anymore. ‘parently i have my mom’s body or… whatever.”

you could hear the anguish in his voice. his dream, no. his father’s dream was now a lost cause. all the hours, all the blood, the sweat, the tears, down the drain in an instant. all because he lost the genetics lottery. 

“what… what now?”

touya pushed away from the tree to look directly at you as he waited for his answer. the sun was beginning to set, casting an orange glow on both of you. you two never met in the daytime. afraid your parents would find out, that endeavour would find out. you were both on edge, and today’s news didn’t help at all.

“i dont know, toy’.” 

"you don’t know?” touya responded in disbelief. he was angry at the situation, and angry at himself. “of course you don’t know. you don’t know anything. do you even care?”

touya’s voice was harsh, cold. he didn’t mean to hurt you, he really didn’t. 

but when you’re an eight year old child who just had your dreams snapped away from you days after your birthday, it was a normal reaction. or as normal as one can be in a situation like this, anyway.

he began pacing, hands tugging at his hair with so much force you were afraid he would rip it from his scalp. touya’s hair had begun turning white in some places, and you didn't know whether it was from his mother, or from stress. you don't know which one you would have preferred.

you didn't know what to do. your parents never trained you on how to use your quirk at all. sometimes, selfishly, you wished you had a father like endeavour. a figure in your life that would help you hone your quirk the way enji did to touya. you could take it, the harsh words, and the unforgiving regime, if only it meant you could relieve the pain touya seemed to feel in every waking moment.

“i’m—” he mumbled, stopping to look at you.

touya looked like a mess. his skin was littered with burns and scars you couldn't heal all the way, his eyes bloodshot from tiredness and stress, hair messy and greasy.  his voice was soft, and if you really listened, you could hear him trembling.

“i didn’t mean that. i’m sorry.”

touya slowly walked over to your spot and sat down wordlessly. his shoulders slumped, and he brought his knees to his chest.  he didn’t say anything for a long time. the sound of cicadas surrounded the two of you, and the last of the sunlight faded away. the sky was dark, and a few stars had already begun to appear. the moon was half way dark, peeking out from behind the clouds in the night sky.

as touya rested, you slowly inched closer to him until your shoulder touched his. he didn’t flinch away, and instead slowly rested his head on your shoulder. 

after a few moments, he spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“what am i going to do?”

touya was a just a kid, but sometimes you forgot that. you forgot that he was just a child, not some grown adult that could handle the pressure of the world on their shoulders like endeavour had made him out to be.

“have fun.”

touya’s head moved from your shoulder to look at you. 

”have fun?” he responded in disbelief. “i can’t really have fun when my quirk— when my whole life is falling apart, can i now?”

"your whole life doesn't have to revolve around your quirk, touya."

“how is it not supposed to revolve around my quirk?”

touya sat up straighter, putting distance between the two of you. he looked at you with an incredulous look, like you had just suggested he run away with his tail between his legs.

“all i’ve ever done is train, train, and train. train and work my butt off for a quirk i never even really wanted. and now it’s all going down the drain like i’m nothing more than trash.”

touya sat back against the tree again, leaning his head back and looking up at the stars, emerging from their cocoon once more.

”this is all i’ve ever had. without my quirk, i’m nothing.”

he was bitter and resentful. at his father, for lighting this fire under him. at his mother, for giving birth to him. at himself, for not being enough.

to touya, the idea of suddenly stopping everything he knew seemed impossible. being the number one hero was the only thing on his mind since the day he was born. it was engraved into his brain, and all he knew to do. 

so now that he was stripped of that, where did that leave him? what was he supposed to do? who was he, if not the less than perfect successor for his father?

“what am i gonna to do now, huh? play outside? play with others? run around like a freakin’ kid?”

“yeah, actually.. you should play with me.”

“play with you?” touya responded sceptically, raising an eyebrow at you. “what are we supposed to do? have a tea party?

the idea of playing, especially in his current state of mind, seemed like a foreign concept. you two played sometimes, yes, but touya sometimes felt like he was going through the motions, if anything. he never really found anything in playing house with you, or pretending he was a villain and you, a monster. at least thats what he told himself, anyway. he’d rather keel over and die than admit he enjoyed spending time with you.

“if you wanna.”

touya looked dumbfounded. like you had just sprouted a second head. he knew you could be a little slow sometimes, but this was too much.

“seriously? we’re like… eight. we’re too old for that. we’re basically teenagers. ‘n’ you want to spend your time playing tea party? ” he said, making a face. “when we could be doing something actually fun, like skipping rocks or something? don't you have anything else in that head of yours?”

“...we could go to the park?”

“the park?” touya repeated, staring at you, a sarcastic lilt to his voice. “why do you wanna go to the park? so we can sit and spin around on the roundabout till we fall off?” 

“i mean.. no one's gonna be there. its late, so we’ll have it all to ourselves, touya.”

“that’s…” he began before stopping.  it actually sounded kind of cool. the idea of sneaking into an empty park at night with you. the idea of getting caught… excited him.

he let out a grumble, looking away. “fine. let’s go to the park.” he relented.

touya slowly got up from the ground and dusted off his pants before sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

“this better not be stupid,” he muttered as the two of you began making your way through the park.

it was late, meaning there was basically no one out except the occasional night-shift worker or the local drunkard. the only sounds to accompany you were the cars driving past, or the songs of the crickets. as the two of you walked, touya glanced over at you.

he noticed the way you walked confidently, almost with purpose. he would often catch himself stumbling as he walked, still not used to his gangly limbs. you, on the other hand, seemed to move so flawlessly. he was premature, and as a result, was shorter than fuyumi, and probably natsuo when he becomes of age. he was taller than you, sure, but that wasn't a feat by any means considering your height.

he kept his gaze on you for a few more seconds before looking away.

“hey,” he spoke suddenly, breaking the silence. “how come ya’ never play with other kids?”

it was a question that was bothering him for a while now. you never seemed to want to go hang around other kids, opting to stick by his side. touya could never really figure out why. maybe he didn't want to. he couldn't tell.

“why would i, touya,” you grinned, stretching out his name and slinging an arm around his shoulder, relishing in the way he recoiled. “when i have you?

a scoff.

“don’t say that,” he said in a deadpanned voice, but there was a light flush beginning to spread across his face.

he wasn't used to receiving praise from anyone, but when it came from you… it made him uncharacteristically embarrassed. touya didn't particularly know his emotions very well, especially not one that made him so flustered he wanted to throw up. not one that only ever seemed to show its face whenever he was around you.

“seriously, though. i’ve never seen you talk to anyone else like you do with me. how come?”

touya continued walking, casting an expectant glance in your direction. you didn't know what to say.

he had no idea why he wanted to know so badly. why the idea of you talking to other kids bothered him so much.  and he knew it was stupid. you were allowed to make other friends. hell, he was the one not letting you make friends with other people. but the thought of you talking to anyone else other than him sent a sharp pang to his chest.

he shook the thought away, forcing the feeling of possessiveness down.

after a few moments of silence, he spoke again, keeping his gaze straight ahead.

“...what makes me so special, anyway?”

“shut up, touya.”

touya let out a surprised huff of air at your response.

he stopped walking and spun around to face you so suddenly, that you nearly ran into him. there was a scowl on his face, and his eyes were narrowed.

“don’t tell me what to do,” he replied in a low tone, trying to sound intimidating the way his father seemed to be so effortlessly.

he wasn’t quite sure why. maybe it was the thought of you giving your attention to someone other him, or maybe he just wanted some sort of response from you. 

he leaned closer, using his barely-there advantage of height to loom over you. he watched your face, trying to figure out what was going through that dumb head of yours.

touya’s face inches closer to yours, close enough that you could feel his warm breath fan across your face. his eyes were locked onto yours, watching intently as you began to shift uncomfortably.

your hands began to feel a lot colder than usual as your fingertips began to turn white. the warmth in your veins was quickly replaced with a chill that you were all too familiar with.

your heart was beating quick and fast. you hadn’t realised how hard it had been beating until you felt your heart thump against your chest. you were sure touya could hear it, with how close he was. 

you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as he leaned in even closer, his eyes still locked in onto yours. there was a determined look in his eyes, like he was trying to figure you out.

“whatever. i wanna go on the seesaw.”

touya’s expression soured at your nonchalant reaction. instead of the nervous stammering and stuttering he was hoping for, you had calmly responded, not giving him the slightest show that he had any sort of effect over you.

he watched as you looked away, avoiding his gaze. there was a faint redness to your cheeks, and a part of him felt satisfied at the sight of it. but there was also an undercurrent of annoyance at the idea of being dismissed like that.

he let out a scoff and backed away, putting some distance between the two of you.

“the seesaw?” touya repeated, raising an eyebrow. “what are ya, five years old?”

he wasn’t quite sure what he had been expecting you to propose, but it certainly wasn’t that. the thought of standing on a children’s toy, awkwardly swinging up and down and up again, was laughable.

you, on the other hand, seemed completely serious as you nodded. “yeah!”

he stared at you for a moment, contemplating whether or not you were messing with him. but your expression was as deadpan as always, giving no hint that you were anything but sincere.

he let out a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes as a look of resignation crossed his face. “fine. let’s go on the damn seesaw.”

you grinned, bounding over to it with way too much energy someone should have in the dead of night. touya rolled his eyes again at your excitement. he was not particularly enthusiastic about going on a child’s toy, but he begrudgingly followed you to the playground. you practically dragged him over to the brightly painted seesaw, eagerly taking a seat on one side.

he reluctantly took a seat on the opposite one, the metal frame of the seesaw creaking under his weight. he glanced over at you, a frown on his face. "this is stupid."

you, on the other hand, were having the time of your life. you bounced up and down on the other end of the seesaw, giggling as the metal frame made squeaking sounds. touya sat on the other side, arms crossed, but you could tell by the way his shoulders were squared that he was trying not to fall off without giving in and actually play.

"come on," you said, gesturing for touya to bounce as well. "it's more fun when both of us are doing it."

"having fun yet?" you called out, still bouncing up and down like a hyperactive child. the metal frame between the two of you was starting to groan in protest.

touya let out a huff. "this is dumb," he repeated. "i'd rather be doing literally anything else right now."

he continued to bounce, but his movements were more restrained than yours. the whole thing seemed so childish, especially with you gleefully giggling away on the other end.

“fine! lets go on the swings then.” you frowned, peeling yourself off the seesaw sadly and trudging over to the swingset.

touya let out a scoff, his hold on you reluctantly loosening “of course its the swings,” he said with a roll of his eyes, shifting his hands to rest on your hips. “you always wanna go on those stupid things.”

“yeah i do. they're the coolest!”

you quickly regained your composure, however, and looked back at touya with a raised eyebrow. "slides are lame. swings are where it's at. you can go up and down!"

he let out a scoff again, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "slides are better. they're faster. there's more adrenaline. now c’mon,” he murmured, walking side by side with you, absentmindedly matching the way you walked. left, right. left, right.

touya watched you closely as you sat down, his hands resting gingerly on your shoulders until you were safely seated on the swing. he stood there for a moment, his heart skipping a beat as your hair blew softly in the wind, framing your face with a few strands of hair.

he quickly brushed the feeling aside, shaking his head as he walked around to stand behind you.

“im gonna push you now, alright?”

“‘mkay!”

touya positioned himself behind you, his hands wrapped around the chains of the swing. his heart felt like it was trying to beat out of his chest. he took a deep breath, praying silently that you didn’t notice how nervous he actually was.

“okay, on the count of three…”

he began to count down, softly at first but gaining momentum as he reached the end. on three, he pushed you gently, propelling the swing forwards.

as you began to swing, touya let out a long exhale, his breath leaving him in a shaky whisper. he stood behind you, watching as you soared through the air, a smile on your face bigger than the moon. 

he couldn’t help but notice how… carefree you looked. how your hair would sometimes brush against his knuckles as he pulled you backwards. how you would throw your head back in laughter every time you reached the peak of the swing. touya pushed you again, watching as you ascended even higher this time.

the sight of you swinging back and forth, your hair blowing in the gentle breeze, made his heart flutter. touya couldn’t tear his gaze away from you, his eyes fixated on your figure as you gained momentum.

he swallowed hard, trying to steady his breathing. he didn’t know why he felt so flustered, he had been pushing you on the swings for years.

this time felt different though. maybe it was the way the moonlight shone on your skin, or the way your shoulders shook with quiet giggles.

“push me touya! higher!”

touya let out a scoff of mock annoyance, though he knew he couldn’t deny you. 

“you’re such a pain in the ass,” he muttered under his breath, pushing the swing with more force. 

watching you go higher and higher, your laughter filling the air, touya couldn’t help but smile to himself. he wanted to know what it was like to be up there, to see the moon, and the stars. to feel free, even for just a moment. 

and touya never understood why in movies the main characters always seemed to be ‘stuck in place’. stood there, looking like an idiot as something that could have easily been prevented from happening in front of them. he was old enough to understand that it was for the plot, but he couldn't help but feel frustrated when a character wanders back into the house with a killer in it for the nth time.

but now, he was frozen, his whole body seizing as the you swung up, and up, fingers slipping from the chains and your body falling, encapsulated by nothing but the light of the moon.

time seemed to slow down at that moment. he could hear the thumping of his own heart in his ears, like a primal drum, beating in time with the seconds ticking by.

he tried to call out to you, to warn you about the impending fall, but no sound came out of his agape mouth. he could only watch, feet glued to the ground, as you came back down towards the ground at an increasingly high speed.

touya’s heart skipped a beat, his blood turning to ice as he saw you slip from the swing. he wasn’t sure what overtook him in that moment, but he felt his body moving on its own. 

within seconds, he found himself darting forward, arms outstretched as he tried to catch you midair. panic surged through him like electricity, his thoughts racing a mile a minute.

touya had no time to think, no time to weigh the risks or the consequences of what he was about to do. he acted, pure instinct taking over his body.

he moved with an almost superhuman speed, his long legs covering the distance between you and him in the blink of an eye. touya felt his adrenaline spike as he stretched his arms out towards you, his eyes locked onto your falling form.

he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that this was a terrible idea. that he was putting himself in danger too. but in that moment, all he cared about was saving you.

time seemed to stretch on into infinity as he caught you, his arms encircling around your waist. he held you tight against his chest, the force of the impact causing him to stumble backwards. 

he fell onto the ground, landing on his back with a thud. the air left his lungs in a sharp exhale, his body tense as he tried to process what had just happened.

for a moment, touya laid there, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. his arms were still wrapped around you, holding you impossibly close against him.

“....touya?” your voice was small, eyes blown wide and terrified of every little thing that went bump in the night. you were always so strong, never wavering or faltering whenever you were around him. but here, right now, there was nothing you needed more than him.

"i got you," he breathed out, his voice shaky and ragged.

he held you closer, his hold on you tightening almost possessively. touya didn't know why his heart was pounding so hard, why his whole body felt like it was on fire.

he inhaled deeply, savoring the faint scent of your hair. it was a subtle, sweet fragrance that reminded him of wildflowers and sunshine.

"you're okay. i've got you," he repeated, more for his own reassurance than yours.

he sat up slowly, the movement causing him to wince slightly. his back was definitely going to hurt later, but he didn't care about that right now. all he cared about was making sure you were alright.

touya's eyes trailed over your form, searching for any signs of injury. he lifted a hand to gently cup your chin, tilting your face upwards so he could look at you properly.

he didnt know a single thing about taking care of others. didnt know how to put on a bandage, didnt know what medicine was what. didnt know how to comfort anyone, if at all. all he knew was what he saw his mother do, time, and time again.

his gaze softened as he looked into your eyes, taking in the sight of your tear-stained face. the sight tugged at his heartstrings, but he tried his best to keep his emotions in check.

he held your chin a little tighter, his thumb gently rubbing over your skin in a comforting motions.

"you're crying.”

“shut up. no– no ‘m not.”

touya couldn't help but roll his eyes at your reaction. even in moments like these, you were as stubborn as ever.

he let out a huff of amusement, shaking his head slightly as he used his thumb to wipe away the tears from your eyes.

"yeah, yeah, whatever you say," he said in a sarcastic tone. "because your tears are definitely just sweat, right?"

you nodded, shutting your eyes tight as you willed the world to stop spinning. you didn't know how people stomached going skydiving or riding rollercoasters, and you didn't think you ever would.

touya chuckled, his hand moving from your chin to pat your head fondly.

"you're an idiot, you know that?" he teased, his voice softening at the sight of your tear-stained face.

he hated seeing you cry. more than he knew he should.

the butterflies in his stomach stirred as he continued to hold you close, his hand still tangled in your hair. he tried to shake the feeling off, reminding himself that he was just being a good friend. that's all.

but as he sat there, with you in his arms and your tears staining his shirt, he couldn't ignore the fluttering in his chest.

he sat there for a moment, his fingers gently threading through your hair as he tried to catch his breath. he knew he should make sure you were actually okay, that your little stunt didn't actually get you hurt.

but right now, all he could focus on was you. the way your eyelashes fluttered against your skin as you blinked back tears, the way your lower lip trembled ever so slightly.

it was driving him crazy.

“can… can we go home?”

touya's heart ached at the sound of your soft, shaky voice. the way you looked so small and fragile in his arms right now made his chest tighten with an unfamiliar feeling. it was nauseating. you were always so strong around him, but seeing you like this was like flipping a switch in his brain.

he gently patted your head once more, his fingers lingering on your hair for a moment, before nodding.

"yeah," he responded, his voice quiet and hoarse. "yeah, we can go home."

he’d have to sneak you through the window again. as much as he wanted your parents to check you out now, it’d be too much of a risk.

touya's mind raced with thoughts as he helped you up onto your feet, his grip never loosening from your waist. 

he knew the drill by now. he would have to sneak you back into your room through your bedroom window, without getting caught by your parents. he took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. he could do this. he'd done it several times before.

touya always walked you home after the first night. it was the least he could do, anyways. his father was cruel, but not cruel enough to not raise a gentleman.

and touya didn't mind walking you back home. in fact, there was a secret part of him that actually relished in the time alone with you. the comfortable silence, the gentle brush of your hand against his, the way the dim street lights illuminated your face.

he could pretend, even if just for a moment, that it was just the two of you in the world. no parents, no rules, no responsibilities.

it was a foolish dream, but he clung to it like a lifeline, nonetheless.

[fortisfilia]

Promised - Tom Riddle x reader

Info: This is a rewrite of a story I've posted on my old account years ago. If it sounds familiar, that might be why :)

Summary: In this story, Tom didn't grow up as an orphan, but with his grandfather and uncle. Reader's sister got very sick and the Gaunts offer their help. But not without asking for something in return.

Warnings: Arranged marriage, sickness

Word count: 2.7k

Masterpost | Masterlist

Part 1 - Dinner Guests

The bathroom mirror was still fogged up, your blurry face looking back at you when you put on the earrings Mother had given you earlier. 

“The Gaunts will be our guests tonight. And I expect you on your best behaviour,” Mother had said in the morning. What she hadn’t done though, was answering the questions you had met her with.

Why are they coming? Since when are they more than any other rich family, looking for peers? Since when are we interested in such peers? And why, oh why do they visit on the last evening of summer holiday, when you had planned to spend it with your little sister?

“You’ve got no business asking all those things,” she had said, flicking her wand to reposition the cushions on the sofa in the living room. “Now go to your room if you’re not going to help me tidy.”

A frustrated sigh soared through the bathroom as you fixed those damn wrinkles on your stupid dress, wondering when they would arrive. Your “best behaviour”. As if she ever had to remind you. Nothing was easier than behaving. Just keep your mouth shut and smile. Think of them what you want and maybe hex them later. You had done this for 18 years. Every dinner party had had its moments when you’d rather told the guests to finally shut up and go home, but you had never done it. Just nodded and agreed to whatever idiotic thing the person next to you had said. Tonight would be exactly the same. Smile, nod, wait for them to vanish. Easy. 

On your way downstairs, you peeked into your little sister’s room. Elsie was sleeping, her heavy breaths a sharp reminder of her current state. She had been cursed about two weeks ago. Someone had sent a letter to Father that she had opened, not knowing what waited inside. An adult would have probably been able to get over it, the mediwizards had said, but her tiny body was doing so poorly, that they couldn’t tell when and if she would get better. So she stayed in bed, where a house elf was always with her to watch over her when you or your parents weren’t able to. 

And there rang the doorbell. You took another look at Elsie before you made your way down as Father welcomed the three men entering. First in line was Marvolo Gaunt, roughly 60 years of age, with coarse skin and sparse grey hair beneath his bonnet. The man after introduced himself as Morfin Gaunt, a man in his forties, much better groomed than his father, yet he unmistakably wore the same slimy grin. The last was Tom Riddle, a boy from your school. Different last names and certainly a difference in appearance made his presence an unexpected one. But thinking back, there had been people in Hogwarts talking about Tom living with his grandfather and uncle. And with the student’s stories came many rumoured reasons as to why he did. Those rumours, whatever their veracity, hadn't piqued your interest, as Tom and you had never been in the same circles. He mostly kept to himself and when he wasn’t, a bunch of Slytherins were following him like a pack of guard dogs, vying for his attention. 

Tom could easily pass for a gentleman if one didn't know any better. He carried himself with a certain sense of pride and elegance. Not too much, not too little. No slimy grin, yet more of an unreadable expression of indifference on his face. He didn’t shake your hand like the two men before but glanced curtly at you before he introduced himself to your parents. Prick. 

Elsie’s seat at the dinner table stayed empty once more, even though the house elves had set the whole table, in case she wanted to join. The thought of checking up on her again surfaced. Later. Now it was time for your best behaviour. 

“Thank you for having us tonight,” Marvolo Gaunt said when the first course arrived. “It’s a rare delight to see that there still are families with values.”

The way he had emphasised that last word felt like a punch to the gut. 

Father nodded. “Rare indeed.”

Tom sat opposite of you and ate quietly. Never before had you seen someone making so little noise while cutting food. As if he was trying not to be noticed. And yet this very attempt made you look even closer. You weren’t even sure if he knew you. He must have, you shared classes at school after all. But he had completely ignored you since they had arrived. 

Morfin Gaunt put on his, apparently, most sympathetic smile. “We heard about your other daughter. And her” -he paused for a second and looked toward the empty spot at the table- “condition.”

What was he implying? Rumours surely spread as quickly as dragon pox, but why bring it up during dinner? You bit your tongue to prevent yourself from asking.

“And we heard about you knowing how to cure it,” Father said.

He knew. He must have invited them for exactly that reason. Looking at Tom again, to see if he was privy as well, you waited for him to meet your eyes, but were left with more indifference as he kept on staring at his plate.

“Well, we have our ways,” Marvolo said as he cut a piece of meat. “Old magic. Curse breaking. Better than whatever humbug they’re doing in St. Mungos.”

“You’ve taken her to the hospital, I believe?” Morfin asked.

“We have,” Mother said. “We’ve been there for days. They ran every test, muggle or magic, that they could think of. But they couldn’t help her. Said they’ve never seen a case like it.”

“Humbug, as I said,” Marvolo chewed complacently. “Bunch of quacks.”

“How do you think you can help her?” Mother asked.

“We would have to take a look at her first. From what I’ve heard it’s a rare and complicated curse, but there hasn’t been a single one I haven’t broken,” Morfin told her. “I’d have to brew and test some potions. I know people who supply me with a lot of… uncommon ingredients. It could take a while and it’s not entirely legal. Risky business. But I can manage.”

Then it clicked. Of course. They wanted something in return. The Gaunts didn’t look like they would do such things out of the kindness of their hearts. But what was it? Money? Power? Loyalty?

“And how could we show our gratitude in return?” Father finally asked before taking a sip of wine like he always did to hide his face when he was nervous.

Tom shifted in his seat, while Marvolo and Morfin looked at each other.

“You see,” Marvolo began. “Our family is powerful. Our bloodline reaches back to Salazar Slytherin himself. And yet, as much as I’d like to hide it, there’s been a stain in this very bloodline, when my daughter had my grandson with this muggle bastard.”

All eyes were on Tom now, who observed his grandfather’s words merely with a vacant stare. Only you seemed to notice how white his knuckles had turned on the hand around his dinner knife.

“Tom is, against all expectations, very smart and an ingenious wizard,” Marvolo went on. “This can be traced back to the good genes of all the generations of Gaunts before him, and of that I am sure. Even though he can be trusted to find his way, I, as the head of the family, must make sure that there won’t be another incident that could further dilute our bloodline.”

Your parents sat there for a moment, not knowing what to say. Father, with his wine glass still in hand, asked, “So you want what, exactly?”

“Marriage,” Marvolo answered.

With a shrill clink, your fork fell out of your hand and onto your plate. Everyone, even Tom, looked at you now.

“I’m sorry. I mean… I’m sorry?” you asked and cleared your throat. “I must have misheard you, Mr Gaunt.”

Marvolo turned back to your parents. “It’s simple. You need someone to help your daughter, we need a decent woman, from a noble pureblood family, for my grandson to marry. Accept it, or don’t.”

“Excuse me. Do I have a say in this?” you asked, more towards your parents than to anyone else. The words came out flat, like you couldn’t find the strength to properly talk, even though a voice in your head was screaming.

Mother appeared equally as shocked, but only whispered, “They can help Elsie.”

“Well, if your older daughter objects, there’s still a second one, isn’t there?” Morfin asked incidentally. 

“She’s ten!” you said, suddenly too loud. 

“So? We’ve got time. I wouldn’t prefer it either, but if you’re not willing to help, we can make it work.”

“Uncle,” Tom spoke through gritted teeth. “Stop!”

“So, what do you say?” Marvolo asked your parents again. 

Silence fell over the table as everyone exchanged bewildered looks. The Gaunts had not seriously proposed a marriage pact between two members of these families in exchange for curing a ten-year-old girl, had they? And if you declined? Would they simply leave her to fend for herself?

“Can we have time to think about it?” Father asked. “Let me talk to my daughter and -“

“No. Us Gaunts offer our help once and only once. Take it or leave it.”

Silence again. Father still hid behind his wine glass, while Mother’s lips parted. She looked at Marvolo, then at you. Her eyes glared into yours, pleading silently. The Gaunts smiled while Tom was looking down at the table again. Anywhere but back at you. 

The only thing you could think of was your sister’s little face and how it scrunched up when she almost coughed her lungs out. Elsie was too young to suffer like this. She was too kind, too pure to live through the hell that this curse had put her in. She had asked you every day why this was happening to her. You never had an answer. She was the last person that deserved such a fate. Marvolo was right - the people at the hospital didn’t know how to help her. She had not gotten better, not even a bit, in the last week. It was a miracle that she was still alive. But how long can miracles last for?

“Well, no answer is an answer,” Marvolo said and pushed his chair back to get up.

“No,” you said quickly. “I’ll do it. For my sister.”

Mother uttered a low cry. Whether it was from relief or horror remained unclear.  

“Excellent,” Marvolo said and shook Father’s hand, who had dropped the confident facade minutes ago. 

“When?” Father asked. 

“When they’ve finished their last year of school. No need to further distract them. Unless you want them to tie the knot sooner?”

“No, no. After this school year, it is, then.”

“Should we go and take a look at the little one now?” Morfin asked. 

“Uh, yes. Of course,” Father said and everyone except Tom got up.

You followed the guests and your parents upstairs until Mother turned around. “You stay here, love. We can’t let you come. Look after the boy and make sure he doesn’t sneak around.” She put her hand on your shoulder and squeezed it hard, as if to say thank you, then turned back around and left.

Thank you would have been an understatement, you thought, while going back into the dining room. Tom was still sitting there, his back facing you. It looked like he hadn’t moved an inch. Your heart was still racing from the life-changing decision you had just made and he looked so apathetic. Was he right in the head?

You sat down opposite him and looked him straight in the eyes, waiting for a reaction. Anything. He stared back, not moving a single muscle in his face. Now that he finally looked at you, you wished he would ignore you again. His whole presence was intimidating. It took up the entire room now and made you reach for your wand in the pocket of your dress. The way he looked into your eyes, so piercingly, as if he was able to stare right into your soul, while not showing any emotion on his face was inhuman and eerie. It was impossible to tell if seconds or hours had passed, but he was still looking back at you and you weren’t sure if he had even blinked once.

“What?” you snapped.

Tom arched a brow. “What ‘what’?”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You started it.” He leaned back slowly. “I’m just returning the favour.”

He seemed too pleased with himself and for that, anger coiled in your stomach. “Wipe that smug look off your face, will you? My sister’s life is on the line, I didn’t start anything.”

“Smug?” he asked in mock offence. “Do you think I like being here?”

“How am I supposed to know? Enlighten me.”

Tom scoffed and shook his head lightly. “Have I made the impression of enjoying myself tonight? If so, I apologise for misleading you.”

The room was quiet again. That was even worse than the staring. The clock on the wall ticked to the beat of your pulse as your breaths turned shallower.

“So you knew,” you finally said. “That Marvolo would ask for this marriage pact.”

He nodded, his eyes roaming the table once more.

“Is there nothing you want to say about that?” you asked in a hopeless attempt to fill the silence. 

His eyes shot up and met yours. “What should I want to say?”

“I don’t know. Have you not tried preventing it?”

“I have.”

His short answers slowly but surely brought your blood to a boil. “And?”

He gestured with his hand and glared at you like you were stupid even to ask. “Obviously, it didn’t work.”

The clock’s bloody ticks got louder and louder as realisation hit. You had agreed to marry him. There was hope for Elsie but in exchange, you got yourself a future with someone you hadn’t planned for. Someone who couldn’t care less about her fate, or yours, or anyone’s, for all you knew.

“Why are you not upset?” you asked with a hand on your forehead as dizziness set in.

“What difference would it make? It’s done.” 

“Done?” You shook your head. “This isn’t something that’s done and over with.”

Tom rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Being upset doesn’t change the situation we’re in.”

“Well, I can’t help it! It’s not something you can control.”

He blinked once, a hint of disgust written on his face. “You better learn to control it then. Because you just made sure this will happen by agreeing to it.”

“You make it sound like I wanted this to happen,” you said, all but laughing with fury. “When it was your family that proposed the idea.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” He slowly looked you up and down. “Rest assured, it was Marvolo’s idea, not mine.”

That somehow hurt more than anticipated. “How could you let this happen then? If you don’t want to do it.”

Tom exhaled sharply, clearly annoyed by the never-ending questions. He tapped his fingers on the dinner table and said, “As you can imagine, I have not been asked if I wanted to. You just experienced yourself how decisive my grandfather can be. How could you let this happen?”

“I had no other choice, had I?”

“Of course, you had a choice.”

“And let my sister die?”

“Then you made the decision to give her another chance to live and take both our chances away,” he said and got up. “You did that to yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. And I’m done talking to you. I’ll wait for my family outside.”

Masterpost | Masterlist | Part 2

[catapparently]

Crescent Moon, Coast is Clear

MASTERLIST • AO3 LINK A rewrite of the ball scene from averyjameson’s point of view Not proofread

“You know, Heiress,” Jameson began as he tied the back of her dress. “While they all struggle with the game and rip their hair out –though Grayson already has enough bald spots-, we could just run off and get married.”

She could feel his breath on her nape, now in faster puffs speeding along with his heartbeat. Jameson couldn’t help but stare. It wasn’t just her bare back nor the familiar little mole under her right shoulder that bewitched him and made his heart race. No, it was the way her hair was laid provocatively over the front of her shoulder, displaying her back to him. The way the soft light shone on the curve of her neck in an alluring manner, taunting and waiting for him to pepper some bites and kisses along it.

“Married? But we’re dressed in dark blue,” Avery shot back, a small smile playing on her lips. Jameson could get drunk on the way she looked at him. If the twinkle in her eyes that she always had with him were the last thing he’d see, he’d die a happy man.

“Why not? As lovely as you’d look in white, you know I never did mind being a bit more,” he paused, “unconventional.” The corner of his lips curled up into his signature sly smirk. “Oren could officiate, and Tiramisu can be the witness.”

He took a step back, finally done tying her up, though he couldn’t help but imagine it was a different set of straps and laces he’d been tying. Avery turned around, handing him a silver necklace to clasp onto her neck, and he did. His knuckles brushed against the soft expanse of skin, bringing the jewelry up to the dip at the bottom of her throat where her collarbones peeked out. He made a mental note to leave a mark there later. Then, last but not least, the mask. It was adorned with black gemstones and purple around the eyes, with tendrils of black and gold weaving in spirals and swirls. It had been designed to match both her dress and Jameson’s suit, both a deep midnight purple. Avery’s dress had silvery stitching along the layered skirt to make it look like moonlight on water, while Jameson’s suit had small, embroidered pearls with silver gemstones along the sleeves and the hem to make it look as though the moon itself was dripping onto the water.

His mask was identical to hers, though instead of purple gemstones lining the eyes, he had short strands of the same pearls as on his suit dangling from the bottom of his mask.

Just as he was about to offer his arm out for her, the laptop connected to the video surveillance cameras let out a high-pitched ding, letting them know that someone had entered the library. Lyra Catalina Kane. She was a mystery to both of them, since Grayson seemed to know her prior to the game. The coincidence that they knew each other wasn’t something neither Avery nor Jameson could ignore. The Kane girl hadn’t gotten in by invitation; she’d been one of the wild cards.

Avery had done her little investigation on Lyra. Is it Lee-ra? Lie-ra? She lived with her biological mother and stepfather, and her biological father’s name was Thomas. Thomas, like when Grayson came asking for a ‘Thomas’ that might be on the List. There was.

She still had an itch in the back of her head, telling her something was off. Either Lyra had a hidden agenda, or someone on the outside messed with her game, intentionally making sure Lyra got one of the tickets. The only person she could think of was Eve, but they haven’t crossed paths ever since last year’s game.

“Maybe you should go talk to her,” Jameson suddenly said. “You know, get a taste of her personality and see if she’s hiding something.”

“With all the tension in between them, what are the chances Grayson is out there waiting for her behind a bookshelf to make out?” She retorted, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t want to walk in and have to see that.” With that, she pressed a small kiss to Jameson’s cheek as a goodbye, stepping out the door of their room.

She made her way through the dimly lit halls, feeling a pair of eyes on her. Of course Oren was still tailing her even when the island was perfectly secure, even safer than the Hawthorne House. There was no discreet way in or out of the island since it was surrounded by water.

Finally, she made it to the library. It was circular and stretched so far up you couldn’t see its ceiling. She tried her best to step as lightly as she could without making a noise. Even the slightest sound would echo through the room and ruin the element of surprise. The mystery appearance would be in her favour, she supposed.

She finally spotted her target, who was staring around in awe.

“I’m a sucker for libraries,” she spoke up from behind Lyra. “Circular ones in particular.”

Avery cringed internally. Wow, so smart. Out of all the things she could have said, really? Even after being the Hawthorne heiress for so long, she still lacked social skills and didn’t really know how to start conversations.

Lyra slightly jumped, turning around to face her. Lyra’s gown was a dark navy blue with a tulle skirt that faded into a light pastel blue like waves.

Her surprise seemed genuine. Avery didn’t know what to feel at the way Lyra was staring at her.? Nervous? Lowkey uncomfortable but still flattered? She’d been used to people staring at her for the wrong reasons, never because they were in awe of her or what she was wearing like Lyra was. Then again, the dress was a far cry from the torn dirty jeans and the loose shirt she’d wear back when she lived in her car. She could still feel the phantom laughs, snickers and sneers of her old classmates.

“It’s beautiful,” Lyra said, tearing her gaze away from Avery to look back at the shelves.

“And you don’t trust beautiful things?” Avery asked, tilting her head.

Lyra’s expression shifted, recognizing her. “You’re Avery Grambs.”

She held back a laugh. Really? Had Lyra really thought she was Brady? After all, there was only one player the Kane girl had yet to meet.

 “I was you once,” she smiled. “Trusting people wasn’t exactly my forte, either. But if I could give you a little advice, going into this game?” Oh, what a lie. She hadn’t ever been like Lyra. Both in life context and personality. New Avery, though, told people exactly what they wanted to hear. Every little thing and detail the media expected from her, she did and said.

Her little line of empathy must have worked, because Lyra still had that faint awe-struck look. “Like I’m going to turn down advice from the person who masterminded all of this?” the girl answered.

“Sometimes,” she answered, “in the games that matter most, the only way to really play is to live.”

When Lyra looked away, she took the chance to quickly run away, thankful for the soft slippers that didn’t thump when her feet hit the floor. She crossed her fingers, silently hoping that it had looked like a mysterious disappearance and that Lyra hadn’t actually seen her running off like a dramatic Victorian lady.

She ran as fast as she could back up to her bedroom. She hated running, especially in slippers. She flung open the door, panting like a dying dog. Jameson was waiting, laid back on the bed dramatically.

“Finally, Heiress, I thought you were going to leave me here to starve and die.” He got up languidly, still faking boredom and a yawn. “Our own ball already started.”

As if on cue, she heard slow instrumental music floating up from the Great Room through the door she’d left open.

“Which entrance would be the most dramatic?” she asked as she put on her heels.

“Dramatic? But I’d rather enter discretely so that I can have you all to myself to dance all night without anyone watching us,” he replied, taking her hand in his. The spiraling staircase only added to Avery’s dizziness that was sparked whenever Jameson touched her.

People, a sea of tuxedos, dresses, and masks, were already in the Great Room. Jameson led her through the crowd and all the way to the center, where some people had begun to dance. Before the day Grayson appeared in her school’s office, asking for her, she’d always been on guard everywhere she went. On the streets, in her car, at school… With Jameson, he could just lead her everywhere by the hand like she was a puppy. She didn’t have to look around cautiously and constantly be on the lookout. She trusted him. Though when they made public appearances, she was the one who took charge.

At the center, he let go of her hand, raising his palm up while facing her. “Shall we dance, Heiress? I’m sure dancing was one of the first things Alisa made sure you learned.”

She raised an eyebrow, pressing her palm to his as they walked slowly around each other. It’s a seductive type of dance, she’d been told. “And what if I didn’t? It can’t be that hard. We just spin around each other, barely even touching.”

“You don’t have to touch for a dance to be or look intimate,” he said, looking down at her and bringing his face closer to hers just the slightest bit. Enough to taunt her, but not close enough to kiss. Her breath caught in her throat, a small hitch that she was sure Jameson could hear.

She mustered her lips up into a smile, but really, she wanted to pull him down, dance be damned, and kiss him until she couldn’t feel her lips from his nibbles. “Oh really?” She looked around, making sure nobody was watching. After all, Jameson’s passionate eyes and red ears were only hers to see.

She slid her outstretched palm down his forearm, not breaking step, until she reached his nape, bringing his head down until his forehead was against hers.

“I think this is much more intimate, don’t you think?” she whispered, her breath warm on his lips. She glared up at him playfully when he ignored the cue to kiss her. “We still have five minutes before we need to start the game.”

His green eyes were smoldering, the usual smirk gone from his face. “Heiress, with you dressed up like that, five minutes isn’t enough.”

He cupped her cheek, careful not to smudge her makeup. As much as he loved seeing her face messy, her lipstick smudged around from kisses and her eyes screwed shut in bliss, she would probably kill him for it later. He finally lowered his lips down to hers, tilting her head slightly to the right the way she liked it. Their lips slotted together perfectly, moving in tandem, always in sync with each other. It was moments like this that Avery lived for and had longed for her entire life.

Between kisses, he rested his forehead against hers again, taking a breath. “Wait for me before you take this dress off tonight?” he said, taking in a ragged breath. “It would be a shame to waste such an opportunity.” With that, he leaned to kiss her again.

[stampsthemeow]

I EAT PASTA FOR BREAKFAST (rewrite)

This isn't perfect but- (I plan to eventually turn this rewrite to a comic but no promises) (MAYBE WIP ?? MIGHT EDIT SOME THINGS LATER) 5067 words vvvv

I was alone now… But I saw a tall man,

and I wanted to be his friendShe took steps into the woods, reaching her hand out towards the man. “Hello… I’m Lazari” He reached his hand down to hers, holding on tightly, leading her further into the forest. Leading her to an old mansion deep in the woods. “Twilight, are you eating on my couch!” Slender yelled.  Twil shook her head as she wiped blood off from around her mouth. Sniff SniffShouting back and forth was muffled, the smell overtaking Lazari’s head. She leaped out of Slender’s grasp, tackling Twilight. Clawed nails gripping into skin,

Please don’t leave me too. Teeth sinking into flesh, I didn’t mean to.

Lazari was pulled up and away from Twilight, tentacles wrapping around her arms and torso, holding her in the air.

I’m sorry

“What the hell is she!” Twilight yelled, holding onto her wounded arm. “Definitely not human” Slender pulled Lazari into his arms, coddling her. 

“I’m sorry…” Tears streamed down her face.

“Shh… It's okay”

“She bit me! “Consider it punishment for eating on my couch.”  Twil rolled her eyes, “Where’s the first aid kit?” The door swung open while Twilight bandaged up her arm. “And that's when you say your awesome catchphrase, then you go for the ki-” Jeff stopped himself mid sentence, focusing his attention on Lazari peeking over the couch. Lulu waved at Lazari, taking steps closer towards the girl. “Don’t get too close. She bites.” She pulled up her sleeve, revealing the bloody-ed bandages. “Oh? I’m just going to take her on a walk real quick-” Jeff grabbed onto Lazari’s hand, leading her out the door. “Alright we’ll be back soon!” “Slender’s gonna be pissed when they get back.” Twil stated.

Hung by a rope tied upon a high branch, the looming night sky obscuring her features. A red haze filled the area, the ground cracking under every step. Following small footprints left in the dirt. The beast’s claws cutting through the rope. “She’s not here… The footsteps just end in front of the tree” The Rake muttered. The body thudded on the ground. ““̸I̵t̴’̶s̴ ̷f̴u̷n̴n̵y̷.̸ ̷I̷ ̸t̴h̴i̸n̶k̷ ̶I̷ ̸h̸e̴a̵r̶d̶ ̶y̷o̴u̶ ̶s̸a̵y̸ ̵t̶h̴a̶t̵ ̷s̵h̴e̸ ̸i̵s̷n̵’̵t̷ ̵h̴e̵r̴e̵,̸ (It’s funny. I think I heard you say that she isn’t here),” He positioned his clawed foot over the lady’s head. Crunch

“̵I̷ ̵t̶h̷i̸n̶k̴ ̶y̷o̴u̴ ̷m̶e̶a̷n̴ ̵“̷I̸’̴l̴l̵ ̷g̴o̸ ̴g̴e̴t̵ ̶h̴e̶r̴“(I think you mean “I’ll go get her”.)” The Rake repeatedly nodded, scrambling on all fours past Zalgo, towards the vast forest. 

Jeff pushed apart the leaves, letting Lazari look through the bush. “There she is.” “But she doesn’t look mean?” “Oh but she is, don’t let her appearance fool you. She's very mean to me,” Lazari nodded, rustling through the bush, holding her hair by its pink bow to not get it caught in the plant. “Jeff I know that's you-” Jane was mid-way through rolling her eyes from beneath the mask when Lazari bit at her arm, then her neck, then her torso, then anywhere she could get her teeth at. Until she was kicked off and nearly thrown back at Jeff, who was laughing til he cried. He latched onto the sleeve of her shirt and ran off before Jane could follow after. The girl's light pink dress was now soaked in red. “That was great” he said, wiping a tear off of his cheek. “Really?” She said, looking up at Jeff. “Really, you’re the best fucking kid ever,” He picked Lazari up, bringing her up to his shoulder. “We’re off to go see Slendy~ The wonderful Slend- Oh fuck…” Jeff flinched back, Slender stood in front of him, blocking the door. Even without any facial features his face still showed his anger.  He sent out a tendril, picking Lazari up and off of Jeff, bringing her inside the mansion. 

“Lazari, you stay inside, you can go colour. I have something I need to talk to Jeffery about.” “I got some crayons and paper from Sally's room!” Tim said, Lazari cheering at the words. He put the materials on the dark wooden floor beside where Lazari was now sitting. First the red crayon, then the black crayon, the black taking up the majority of the drawing. The others sat untouched. “Can I see your drawing?” Tim asked, the girl quickly held up and presented her work. The horns, the teeth, the claws, the red eyes and tears. It couldn’t be… “That's mommy’s friend!” Tim got up from his spot. “I’ll be right back!” He exited the mansion, Lazari could hear the yelling from outside for a second. “Slender, do you happen to know what’s Lazari’s life, before today, was like?” Slender took his attention away from Jeff. “No, she’s gone quiet when I’ve asked about it,” He replied, fixing his tie, “the max she has said is that her mother hung herself, but nothing more.” “Not even why?” “She mumbled something “Monster” yet wouldn’t say another word about it. Why?” “Well her drawing seemed to be of Zalgo, along with her words “That’s mommy’s friend” while she showed me it” Slender stood there a second, and without saying a word went inside. Approaching Lazari and kneeling down til he was on level with her. “The lady hanging was your mother, right?” Lazari nodded in response. Slender stayed silent until Lazari, slowly, replied further. “She said I was a monster.” Lazari whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “Mommy hated me,” Lazari cried while Jeff stumbled inside.

“We are keeping her, right?” Jeff said, staring at Slender. “I was planning to,” Slender replied, patting Lazari’s head. “Thank.. Thank you Mr. Slendyman,” Lazari quietly said, rubbing the tears off of her cheeks.

Lazari laid in bed, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders, holding onto a stuffed blue bear. No longer in her stained pink dress, now dressed up in soft red PJs. “Hey Lulu?” She sat up looking towards Lulu, who had been brushing her teeth in the shared bathroom. “Hm?”

“Do you mind singing a lullaby?”  Lulu smiled, pulling her hair down from her pigtails while she sat down on the edge of the bed by Lazari. “Do you have any preferences for the lullaby?” she asked, Lazari shaking her head no. “Okay then!” she said, booping Lazari’s unnaturally red freckles on her nose. “Hush little Lazi, don’t say a word~ Lulu’s gonna catch you a mockingbird~ And if that mockingbird won’t sing~ Jeff’s gonna cuff off someone's diamond ring~ And if that diamond ring turns brass~ Slendy’s gonna hand you a looking glass~” Lazari could just barely see Lulu getting up to walk back to her bedroom before drifting to sleep. She slept well, waking up seemingly before anyone else. Lazari wandered down the halls, past everyone’s rooms. Slender had seemingly passed out on the couch, his suit barely undone, the TV was on yet only displayed static. “Here you go Mr. Slendyman,” she said, sitting down her plushie beside slender, giggling quietly to not wake him. The crayons were still out from the night before, yet her drawing was nowhere in sight. But she was too busy creating new ones to care about her missing old one.

One of her and Mr.Slendyman, One of her and Lulu, One of her and Tim, And One of her and Jeff. She even used a pencil to try and make the drawings more detailed than what she could do with her black crayon! She first set her drawing of her and Slendy down on top of him. Next she, as silently as she could, creaked open the door. To “The proxy zone” as she heard Jeff call it. It was like a whole new living room in there, but she went straight towards Tim’s bedroom door. Quietly setting her drawing down on his bedside table before speeding out. She retreated back into the normal area, she went up the stairs, going down the upper hallway to the very end, Jeff's room. She nearly tripped over all the stuff on his floor, but she laid her paper down beside him. Then back downstairs and down the hall to Lulu, setting the paper down on her dresser. 

Footsteps echoed down the hall. “Hey Lazi, what are you doing?” Slender asked, making Lazari jump. “Nothingggg-” “How about you go take a bath then? I can go start the water,” “Okay!” He locked the door on Lulu’s side, and started the water, pouring a little bubble bath solution to the running water. He laid down a light blue dress on the countertop before leaving to let Lazari in.

“Slendyman!” Lazari yelled out, doing a little spin in her new dress. “It looks very nice Lazi.” The door kicked open, Toby nearly tripping when entering. Brian followed behind, pulling up his mask. “Here are the other two proxies. Brian, and Toby.” Slender shifted his words to the two “Did you guys get the papers like I asked?  Brian nodded, presenting the papers to Slender. “Have we met before?” Toby tilted his head at Lazari. “No. You guys haven’t, that's Lazari. Would you two take her outside to play?” 

“We just got back!” “Would you like Toby, by himself, to be outside with an 8 year old. You remember what happened with Sally right?” He sighed, “Yes sir.” Why did he even keep a kid alive anyways? The 3 were visible through the front window, Toby and Lazari much more energetic then Brian was, but he still joined in their play. Slender flipped through the papers, pictures detailing Zalgo, and predictions of what could happen to Lazari. Pages of horrible outcomes, pages of her feasting on flesh of her friends, pages of her losing control of her body, pages of her leading him to them.  Horns, burnt flesh, glowing eyes, rips and tears in the skin. 

“She's so cute!”

“We seeing the same thing here?” Brian chuckled. Lazari was sitting down in the dirt, looking at the stones lining the path, picking up an unnaturally blue rock. “It looks like EJ’s mask!” Toby pulled a marker out of his hoodie’s pocket, scribbling on EJ’s “eyes” and tears. “See! Hey Lazari, you should give it to him. Have you guys met yet?” Lazari looked up at Toby. “Nooo?” Toby peeked inside, noticing EJ sitting on the couch, watching TV. “He's right inside on the couch, go give it to him!” 

You are NOT the fatherClearly he isn’t. The daughter is half white! I should know… I ate her kidney.

Lazari set the rock on the arm rest, poking him to get his attention. EJ paused the TV, looking down at the rock, then at Lazari, giving her a small wave as he picked up the rock. He looked at the scribbled on face, taking off his mask to compare it to the rock. He gave Lazari a smile, displaying his fangs, and a thumbs up.

Jack and Lulu sat in the living room, Lulu talking while Jack listened, the TV played whatever shitty TV show happened to be on. Until Jeff and Ben raced into the living room. “I’m choosing what we are playing!” “You chose last time!” Ben turned on the console set below the TV, playing with the buttons on the side of the TV to change the HDMI. Jeff pushed him out of the way, which led to Ben kicking his leg at Jeff. Tackle,

Punch,

Kick, Slap,

Intelligible yelling,

EJ just flipped through the channels as Slender entered the room, grabbing the two up and separating them. “Stay right there. Don’t move. I don’t need you two breaking another thing in this house.”  Jeff and Ben stood still, kneeling against the wall “Lulu, can you go out and get Lazari, Toby, and Brian? They’ve been out there for a while.”  Lulu left the mansion, no sight of the 3 nearby, she could hear yelling from far out in the woods. She ran towards the noise, which never seemed to get closer, she ran until she was out of breath, leaning up against a tree, the ground cracked. Red spilled out of the ground, she jumped back, attempting to run, but a clawed hand latched onto one of her pigtails. Throwing her against the ground. The Rake scampered behind, nodding its head and spewing out unintelligible words towards Zalgo. “ H̷e̴l̶l̵o̴,̴ ̸L̴u̷c̶i̸n̵e̶.̵ (Hello, Lucine.)” He pushed her bangs out of her face, digging his claws into her sockets. “O̴h̵,̶ ̸d̴o̵n̵’̸t̵ ̸t̶e̷l̷l̶ ̴m̸e̸ ̵y̶o̶u̵ ̴m̵i̶s̵s̵e̷d̶ ̷t̴h̸i̶s̷ ̸f̸a̵c̵e̸,̵ (Oh, don’t tell me you missed this face,)” “Get away! I already am going through the consequences of dealing with you! Isn’t that enough!” “̵I̵t̵'̷s̸ ̵n̴e̷v̴e̵r̴ ̴e̵n̵o̷u̷g̶h̶.. ̵A̴ ̶l̵i̸t̵t̷l̴e̴ ̶b̸i̵r̵d̸i̶e̴ ̴t̶o̶l̸d̴ ̸m̴e̴ ̴y̷o̶u̸ ̶m̸i̸g̷h̵t̸ ̵k̷n̷o̵w̸ ̴w̵h̸e̴r̴e̸ ̶L̷a̴z̵a̸r̷i̸ ̶i̴s̴.̶ ̶N̵o̷w̶ ̷t̶a̶l̵k̶.̸ (It's never enough... A little birdie told me you might know where Lazari is. Now talk.) " She returned with nothing but silence, biting her tongue.  Until he grabbed onto her arm, twisting further then it was meant to waiting for the-

Crack

He laughed at her screams and wails. Too far out for anyone in the mansion to hear, too far out for Slender to be alerted. “I don't know where she is! I don't know!” It wasn’t a lie, yet not the answer he had been looking for. The Rake came closer, getting a better sniff of Lazari from Lulu’s sweater.

“S̴o̷ ̵L̴u̵c̴i̵n̶e̸ ̶h̶o̶w̴ ̵d̶o̵e̸s̵ ̴i̷t̴ ̸f̸e̷e̴l̷ ̴b̵e̵i̸n̵g̵ ̶u̶n̵d̵e̴r̷ ̷h̸i̴s̵ ̶r̶o̶o̷f̶,̵ ̶y̴e̸t̴ ̵h̶i̸d̷i̶n̵g̷ ̶t̵h̶i̸s̸ ̸f̵r̴o̶m̴ ̸h̴i̶m̶.̴ ̶O̴r̷ ̵h̸a̷v̵e̸ ̵y̷o̷u̶ ̸b̸y c̸h̷a̴n̴c̵e̷ ̴t̷o̶l̵d̶ ̴t̵h̸e̶ ̷S̶l̶e̵n̵d̸e̵r̴m̷a̴n̶ ̷a̷b̶o̶u̴t̴ ̴u̸s̸?̷ (So Lucine how does it feel being under his roof, yet hiding this from him. Or have you by chance told the Slenderman about us?)”

“That's odd…” “What?” “Lulu hasn’t returned yet, and didn’t you hear the others enter through the back door too?” “Yeah…” “Ben, cover me, I don’t have a good feeling about this.”  Jeff grabbed a knife off of the table, and left out the door, wandering into the woods. Until he heard the faintest scream in the distance, he followed towards the sound, being quick yet quiet, the screams got louder as red mist filled the trees. Nearly tripping over the cracked ground as he approached, he could see the silhouette of Lulu and… ZalgoHe threw his knife towards the demon’s arm, it sunk into his inhuman flesh, it was barely more than a slight sting, yet it caused Zalgo to release Lulu from his grasp. Jeff used that moment to get in front of Lulu, shielding her from the beast, re-grabbing his knife and holding it out in front of him. “Fuck you Zalgo… I think it's time for you to go to sleep.” “F̵i̶n̷e̷,̶ ̵I̷ ̶g̵i̸v̷e̸ ̶u̶p̵.̷ (Fine, I give up.)” “You think I believe your obvious bullshit? “O̸h̸ ̴o̶f̵ ̶c̵o̵u̷r̸s̵e̵ ̶n̶o̸t̵!̷ ̵I̶t̵'̴s̵ ̵j̵u̴s̶t̴ ̸y̷o̶u̴ ̶h̸a̴v̶e̷ ̷o̵n̵l̵y̷ ̷t̷w̶o̵ ̴o̷p̸t̵i̴o̵n̶s̴,̷ ̴t̵a̴k̷e̵ ̶L̷u̸c̶i̸n̶e̴ ̴i̵n̸s̸i̶d̶e̶,̸ ̴o̴r̵ ̶f̶i̶g̷h̴t̸ ̷m̶e̶.̶ ̶C̷a̸n̶'̸t̶ ̴b̵e̸ ̷i̴n̷ ̷t̸w̷o̶ ̶p̴l̵a̵c̶e̸s̶ ̵a̷t̶ ̴o̴n̷c̷e̶ ̴J̸e̵f̸f̴e̷r̷y̷.̶  (Oh of course not! It's just you have only two options, take Lucine inside, or fight me. Can't be in two places at once Jeffery.)” “What did you just call her?” He lowered his knife. “A̶w̸w̶,̴ ̵i̴t̴ ̴a̵p̷p̵e̶a̶r̵s̷ ̶t̷h̷e̶ ̶i̵n̵s̸a̶n̵e̵ ̶m̶u̵r̶d̶e̵r̵ ̴d̴o̸e̸s̶ ̶h̸a̸v̸e̶ ̸a̸ ̸h̸e̸a̶r̷t̷.̶̶ ̸I̵ ̸c̶a̷n̷’t̴ ̶w̵a̴i̷t̴ ̵t̶o̶ ̵r̵i̴p̴ ̵i̸t̷ ̸o̶u̷t̴.̴ (Aww, it appears the insane murderer does have a heart. I can't wait to rip it out.)”

Lazari sat beside EJ, curled up on the couch, some old movie playing on the TV, fresh popcorn sat between them, Ben stood up, still against the wall, trying to watch as well. Sniff Sniff Do… Do I smell Daddy?

“Why was he attacking you- Why did he call you Lucine- what connections do you have to that demon fucker-” “Jeff, calm down- let Lulu explain-” “My name isn't Lulu!” … “He was after Lazi- but-” Back before Lulu was here she was enrolling mid-year to a new, all girls, private school. They were ruthless, finding every little thing wrong with her appearance, with how she acted, with her home life, they picked out every little detail they could. Reporting every dress code violation to the staff, her shirt untucked, her hair not perfectly brushed, a button undone, missing her tie, a rip of the seams, every little thing. 

Until she had to stay after school for her rule breaking, where little supervision occurred. One trip to the washroom, the quiet sound of snipping scissors, her long beautiful hair, cut down to just a tad below the shoulder. She was blamed for cutting it herself while she was gone, there was no proof of anyone else being sent out to the washroom as she was out, and Lucine couldn’t get a look at the girl’s face, but she knew who it was, just couldn't prove it.

 It only got worse from there. Black and blue bruises began to coat her legs, alongside scratches and scrapes. Her attendance dropped as she started to skip classes, then school in its entirety, detentions stacked on top of eachother from her lack of going. But on the verge of giving up, a blog post caught her attention online. “Summoning spell” “Use with caution” “Will change your life forever”It seemed fake, like how many others that claimed to do the same were, but the comments seemed legit, the ritual was very specific, and it didn’t hurt to try it, right? In the span of a few days she gathered the materials, blood of a goat, wood, oil, a lighter, an old book. Outside, far enough away from any occupied buildings, she set it together. The logs placed together to form his symbol, the book in the center, blood poured across the whole thing, the oil soaking the area, and finally, the flame. She couldn’t believe her eyes, the red mist flowing out from the middle, flooding the area, til she could barely see a couple feet out. The devil himself, clawing his way out of the ground, standing tall in front of Lucine, she nearly jumped back at the sight. “W̴h̴a̸t̴ ̸i̸s̸ ̴i̴t̵ ̵t̸h̸a̴t̷ ̸y̶o̶u̵ ̵w̴a̴n̶t̷? (What is it that you want?)” the beast growled. “I want to see why they treat me like this,” She responded, her voice shaking. His claws reached towards her face, resting just above her eyes, and in that moment, she could see through the main girl's eyes, to see her thoughts. 

 Jealousy, 

all this because Lucine was a bit prettier Not a moment later, she felt a tear, claws digging into her eyes, yanking them out, leaving her with nothing but two bloody sockets. “Due to the… deal… with him, he can locate me in mere seconds,”

“I swear I’ll skin those fuckers alive-” “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” “It’s alright… Lucine, we aren’t mad at you.”

Toby sat in front of Jeff’s door, using his cheap pink paint to coat the wood, giggling as he did so. Jack stood not far behind, shaking his head, yet still smiling, at Toby’s prank. Slender passed by. “Jack, you are in charge, I have to go run an errand, watch Lazari.”

“Jackkkk, if you're incharge can you let us have a tea party?” Lazari tugged on the bottom of his hoodie, Toby smiled, got down on his knees and mimicked Lazari.

“Yeah Jack pleaseeee~” EJ shook his head no, stepping back away from the two.

“Hmpf…” Toby got back up, “Say something if nooo to the tea party,” EJ shook his head more, “glaring” at Toby. “I didn’t hear anything, did you Lazi?” “Noooo” “So lets have a tea party, put that fucker Jack in a tutu. He’ll look soo pretty!”

Bottles scattered on every shelf, filled with various colourful liquids, some labeled yet the labels varied from specific to nearly scratched off. Different symbols from different groups painted onto the big circle window brightening the room. “Well look what the cat dragged in! Welcome Mr. Slenderman,” The voice bounced off of walls, making it impossible to know where it came from. The sound of glass clinking filled the room, til Cato stood upon the large box in front of the window. Tail swishing from side to side. 

“Lemme guess, here for little ol Lazari Swann?” “How did you-” “I have my ways!” Cato jumped down, landing on all fours like a cat before promptly getting up. Walking in circles around slender faster than he could turn. “Now have you let the “hunger” take over yet?” “The hunger?” “The hunger, monster form, the zalgo side, the demon form, whatever you would like to call it, it truly doesn't matter,” “No, I have not,” Slender stopped his attempt to face the spinning creature, instead stabilizing his balance before he would have fallen over. “Well how am I meant to help if you don’t even know her power? For all you know she’s just like her mother instead of her father! Or she could be the next Devil in the next couple of weeks! You really should get your details straight before coming to me for answers.” “So are you unable to help me?”

“I could take some educated guesses but no guarantee that I’ll be even in the same ballpark,” Cato responded, making air quotes around “educated guesses”. It jumped up on top of one of its many bookcases, pulling out a book with Zalgo’s symbol carved into the cover, flipping through the pages. “I could also lend you this book,” It reached the book out in front of itself, pulling it back when Slender reached up for it, “but it's gonna cost ya,”

Slender opened the door back to the mansion, returning to yelling from Jeff about the colour pink and a tea party taking place in the living room. EJ stuck in a bright pink tutu, a silver tiara, hair stuck into a ponytail, and his face covered in cheap makeup. Toby had been dressed up in a glittery dress, stacks of bracelets, hair covered in little hair clips, and a pair of fairy wings stuck on his back. Lazari was in the middle of them both with a little crown and wand, hosting the tea party.

“... I will be taking Lazari out, when I come back all this needs to be gone.” He took off her crown, and brought her outside. Don't get hungry Leading her away from the mansion. Don't get hungry Out far into the woods. Don't get hungry She refused to hold his hand.

Don't get hungry Choosing to follow instead. “This is far enough Lazi.”

I don’t want to be a monster

“Let it change you.” Lazari took a step back, tears swelling up. “Lazi, let it take over,” She stopped fighting it, the inhuman flesh started to spread down the side of her face. She fell over, unable to stand upright as it developed downwards

He's going to see , The flesh grew and darked, her hair parted to make room for horns breaking through the skin, claws emerging from the tips of her fingers. 

He’s going to get rid of me, Dull spikes formed down the back of her spine, charred skin started to crack open, leaving open wounds, leading red mist out, letting it fill the air.

He’s going to hate me,

Sharp fangs filled her mouth, the whites of her eyes burning red, her hair shifted to a red. 

Just like mama,

Her clothes ripped from the sharp points of her skin digging through the fabric. She laid there on the ground, unable to move, new sensations from everything that formed overwhelming her brain. Babbling unintelligible nonsense, with quiet “I’m sorry”-s hidden within. Slender got down beside her, pulling her up off of the dead grass, bringing her up to his chest, embracing her in a hug.

“No, I’m sorry Lazi.” She sobbed, her tears soaking his suit, claws tearing into the back, dirt being kicked up by hind legs as she attempted to push herself closer to him. What the hell did I get myself into?

Quiet footsteps surrounded them, out of the corner of Slender’s vision a white blurry figure circled them on fours.

Found her

Snow covered the ground, fresh footsteps breaking up the soft white as more and more went outside to feel the cold. Lazi was passed out on her bed, her hair still red but the rest of her body seemed to be returning to normal. Horns were now less than half the size of yesterday, spikes were now barely felt. Her clawed hands and feet stayed overnight, but they were less sharp. The charred skin remained covering her right eye. Bandages were wrapped around where the cracks were before. It hurt to get up, her body felt weak. She changed into a new outfit, pieces borrowed by others in the mansion, tossing the old one straight to the trash, the holes in it were beyond repair. She felt sick- She felt horrible- She felt- Hungry.She could barely get to the couch before collapsing, she sat at the very end, leaning against the armrest, shaking.  Lulu came into the room, approaching Lazari, leaning over the back of the couch to speak with her. “Hey Lazi, are you Okay-” Lazari leaned over the side further, throwing up black goop all over the mansion’s floor. No… No... No…

No… No... No…Everyone was outside, it felt like forever since the last time it properly snowed. Tim and Brian watched as Toby, Ben, and Jeff threw badly made snowballs at each other

“You are SO about to eat ass jeff-fucker!” Ben shouted “Over Jack’s pussy ass dead body!” Jeff yelled back, both of them lined up their snowballs and- “You put rocks in that snowball!” they both screamed. Insults were shouted by both sides, though they did the same “prank” it was apparently bad that the other did it as well. It got a small chuckle out of Slender. It was nearly noon, and Lazari hadn’t come outside yet, so he went in to check in on her.  “Lazi?” The black goop was spread out all over the living room, Lulu nowhere in sight. He could just barely see Lazari’s red hair from behind the kitchen counter. Right as he took a step towards her the door swung open, Lulu shoving a dead body towards the kitchen. Within just a second Lazari pounced, getting on top of the body and Crunch Teeth sunk into their neck Everything in my head went blank Blood spilled out onto the floor, mixing together with the goop. Before I knew it i was eating Even with seeing this happen what must have been hundreds of times with EJ and Twil- Help me It seemed worse coming from “little ol Lazi” Everything hurts Once she finished feasting, she looked down at the body, at the mess on her, on the body, all over the floor.  She passed out again. Slender wiped as much blood off as he could and brought her back up to her bed. He left her alone the rest of the day, he wouldn’t admit it to her face but he was scared of what she could do. If this happened again and someone couldn't get a body fast enough, would she attack one of us?

As she rested in bed scratches came from the window, making a horrid sound. White long clawed fingers banged against the door until it cracked. It crawled its way through the now broken window, claw marks covering both the outside and inside as The Rake got in. It got up off of all fours, picking Lazari up off her warm bed, carefully making its way back out the window, into the forest, far out from where the mansion could see, towards where Zalgo told him to take her.

 Arms scratched from claws picking her up while sleeping, said wounds spilled out red haze. Skin charred up instinctively as she was brought down to Zalgo’s world. Her hair let completely down, no longer held together with its bow, the bow had been left behind. As things grew she didn’t once wake up, it felt more natural here then her normal skin. She awoke upon a mattress lazily thrown onto the floor in a bare room. She didn’t even notice the burnt skin nor horns on her body at first, she nearly screamed when she did, but was quickly silenced by one of Zalgo’s proxies roaming the halls nearby. Unlike the mansion the walls seemed organic, not built out of wood but instead found like this naturally. She shakily got up and exited the room, non human beings walked down the halls, grim looking lanterns floated within the halls, brightening the area. The hallways were wide, enough room for 10 to 12 people to walk side by side at. It was carpeted with a red patterned rug, filled with different drawings and patterns presenting Zalgo’s power, status, and control. 

As she walked down the halls the other demon-like creatures pushed themselves to the side, providing Lazari more than enough room, she tried to ignore the terrible acts shown on the carpet, instead looking up at the ceiling. It was filled with beautifully detailed carvings, painted with shimmery reds and blacks, it almost looked like it was intestines and organs.

Hungry?

She passed by many creatures of all sizes and shapes, some furred, looking almost dog-like, some humanoid, some were huge beasts triple the size of Lazi, a few looking just as if they were human. Her favorite had to be the skele-dog, she would have pet it if it was any other time. The hall eventually stopped, leading to a huge metal door, the hinges were patterned as his symbol, the door itself appeared to once have engraving throughout the entire thing but the bottom half was scratched till the detail was gone. She pushed her entire body against the door, pushing it open with all her strength, just barely able to open it. The door led to a huge ballroom-looking area, high ceilings with a huge chandelier in the center, and tiled floor. Her clawed feet clicked against the tile, echoing throughout the room. She looked all around the room, looking anywhere but in front, til she hit something.  She took steps back, pressing her hand against her head. She looked up in front-

Daddy?

[mayhem-neverending]

The Big Bad Wolf

Part VI

Word Count: 3.808

Warnings: mentions of drinking and depression

Notes: I meant to post this a couple days ago, but I kept writing and rewriting a scene, so I completely took it out and went with something else.

Genma lived in the same bottom floor apartment he had when you two had been friends. When you walked up to the door, there was a bit of anticipation. Did he really want you there? Would you only be interrupting a gathering between close friends? Taking a deep breath, you rapped your knuckles in a specific sequence, one you had used almost every day, to let him know it was you. It put a little smile on your face to let your muscle memory take over. 

The blue door was nearly ripped open only seconds later by Genma, who was grinning ear to ear. He pulled you into your second tight hug of the day. You appreciated his warmth as the air had started to cool since the sun had set.

“You remembered the knock,” he said happily in your ear before pulling away. 

“Of course I did,” you smiled softly at your old friend. 

You looked around at the lamp-lit living room. A few people were already there, you spotted Shizune, Izumo and Kotetsu, Gai, and a woman you didn’t know who was glaring at you from her spot on the loveseat. You smiled politely when you made eye contact with her and she rolled her eyes. 

You and Kakashi filed in and Genma shut the door behind you. Looking around again, you decided to go talk to Shizune, since you knew her best. You weren’t particularly close, but you had worked under her a short while when you were learning medical ninjutsu. You also had seen her recently, since you had visited the hospital since coming home for a general check up.

She waved at you with her free hand when she noticed you. Her other hand was busy balancing a cup on her knee. 

“Hey, how have you been?” You asked. 

“Not too bad, all things considered. How are you and your baby?” She tucked a loose strand of black hair behind her ear. 

"We're both doing pretty well. He started preschool and he's really liking it,"

She smiled. "That's great, he seemed like a busy kid,"

You huffed a laugh. "Insanely so, I can hardly keep up,"

Gai startled you when his voice boomed directly behind you. "Kakashi! My friend and greatest rival, you have made it!"

You and Shizune rolled your eyes at each other, smiling at his antics. You took a seat diagonally from her on the oversized cream colored ottoman that might as well have been its own couch. 

You peeked over your shoulder as Guy started in on a rant about youth and his favorite student growing up (though he didn't have favorites, he said). Kakashi found a seat so he could listen to him, and you smiled. 

You turned your head back to Shizune, who was drinking more than sipping out of her cup. You were about to comment about spending too much time with Tsunade when Genma appeared beside you. He held a drink out to you which you took.

“What’s the drink of choice for tonight?”

“Tequila, your favorite,” he grinned cheekily.

You blanched. “Tequila is the worst, you know how I get,”

“Exactly,” he had the audacity to wink at you. 

The girl who had been glaring daggers came up to his side and took his arm in her hands. He barely looked at her, opening his mouth to say something, when she interrupted with a whiny voice. 

“Baaabe, why’d you leave me all alone?”

She batted her long lashes at him. He sighed. “Sorry, babe. I was just being a good host,”

She pouted. “You already gave her the drink, aren’t you done?” 

He looked to you, but all you did was wave a little goodbye. The last thing you wanted was to get involved in whatever mess that was or would be.

Shizune sniggered at their turned backs as they walked away. “He found himself a real keeper this time, don’t you think?”

“Hm, might be the best one yet,” you replied sarcastically. 

After that, the two of you fell into some light conversation. You sipped on your heavily poured drink that burned your esophagus in between the chatter. No longer a drinker, you could feel its effects halfway through your glass. 

Your mind wandered back to the conversation shared with Kakashi on your way to the party. You wondered if Obito would have liked to come hang out with everyone. You felt a pang of sadness in your chest. He had been kidnapped when he was so young, had he even gotten the chance to be with his friends like this?

You internally frowned. You knew to some extent what it felt like to be isolated, after your ex had taken you out west, where you were from originally, for a job opportunity soon after you became pregnant. He wouldn’t allow you to take a job or go out because he refused to watch your son, then would go out and do whatever he wanted after work every day. That had been miserable enough, you couldn't imagine decades of mostly isolation. It must have been unbearable. 

Shizune waved a hand in front of your face. “You good? Where’d you go?”

“Sorry, just got lost in thought,” 

You took another sip of your drink and willed yourself to pay attention to her words. She was complaining about the increased workload at the hospital, and how exhausted it made her. 

She ranted for a good twenty minutes while you finished your drink and nodded along. Between your thoughts and her complaining, you were starting to feel really down. At the first opportunity, you slipped away to the kitchen. The tequila hit you while you were walking, making your brain fuzzy. 

You set your cup down in the sink and sighed. You weren’t having as much fun as you thought you were going to have. 

A frown made its way onto your face. Ever since coming home, you had tried to go out on your weekends without your son, but they had all ended disappointingly. You were wondering at this point if it would be better just to stay home. You didn’t have the extra energy to party anymore anyway.

“Hey,” a voice said from behind you. 

You didn’t have to turn to know it was Kakashi. You managed a half smile when you faced him. He wasn’t fooled, and a look of concern came over his visible features.

“What’s wrong?” 

You wanted to lie and tell him nothing was wrong, but the alcohol made you loose-lipped. “I’m wondering if coming here was the wrong move,”

Kakashi frowned. “Did something happen? You seemed excited earlier,”

You shrugged. "I’m just not really vibin’, I guess. And I’m tired.”

You caught a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. “Okay, do you want me to walk you home?”

You shook your head. “Thanks though. Will you say goodbye to Genma for me? I don’t want to cause trouble by going up to him with his girlfriend right there,”

“Yeah, of course. Not a problem,” 

“Thanks,”

You left without another word, and jumped between the rooftops home. It was a much more effective mode of travel, and you were happy to reach your door within minutes. 

A sort of melancholy washed over you when you stepped through your front door into your empty home. Without turning any lights on, you shuffled to the kitchen and took some painkillers in preparation for the next day's headache. You completely downed that glass of water and filled the cup again. You took it with you to your bedroom and set it on the bedside table. It was your last action of the night before crawling into bed and falling asleep.

Waking with the first light of day, you felt the headache you had anticipated the night before. Tequila never sat well with you, no matter the amount. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, so you got up for more painkillers and brought them back to your room where you took them and went back to sleep. 

The next time you woke it was late morning. You rolled onto your back and stared at the white ceiling; energy and motivation near nil. Youo knew you would have to check your phone soon, based on the brightness of the light, to respond to Hikaru’s father. You were sure to have at least one missed call by now. 

Slowly, you felt around for the phone in the bedsheets. You found it and tapped on the screen, seeing you had a few texts and one missed call. You stared blankly until the lock screen went dark, then turned it back on and unlocked it. 

There was a text from Toma stating that he would take Hikaru to school Monday since you were, “so busy with the Hokage,”

You replied with a simple, ‘Okay’ and rolled over to plug the phone in. You figured you should probably shower. Whatever other messages you had could wait until later, when you hopefully felt refreshed. However, you shut your eyes briefly, and accidentally fell back asleep. 

It was midday the next time you woke. Usually, that would have you flying out of bed and rushing to start your day, but that mild panic never struck you. Instead, you just let out a heavy sigh. 

You jerkily climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom. You turned the shower on and stripped down. The water was quick to turn hot and you stepped under the spray. You stayed under, lost in thought until the water started turning cold. 

You wrapped yourself into your fluffy towel and went to sit on the side of your bed. You picked up your phone and looked to see what other messages you had missed. 

One was from your grandma, who was asking for pictures of her great grandbaby. Another was from your dad, who periodically checked in on you over text since he lived in a small civilian village a couple days walk away. The last was from Kakashi.

K: Sorry about the voicemail 

With your interest piqued, you went to your voicemail and clicked on the latest one. There was some background chatter interrupted by a loud, drunken voice. 

“Kakashi, gimme the phone!” 

There was a muffled noise and then the voice got louder; you assumed they were now speaking against the receiver. 

“Heeeeyyyy. Why’d ya leave w’thout sayin’ goodbye?! I missed ya so much when you were gone, y’know? An’ Kakashi won’ gimme your new number ‘cause he jus’ wants ya aaaallll to himself an’-”

In unison, Kakashi and a female’s voice said, “Genma!”

There was some commotion, and some angry shouting from a woman that you couldn’t quite make out before the message cut out. 

You wondered how he had convinced Kakashi to leave you a message in the first place when he was obviously so drunk. Some guilt seeped into you the more you thought about his words. The only reason he didn’t have your number was because your ex had made you delete and block any male contact you had besides your family a few months into your pregnancy. That had been one of your more explosive fights, but you ultimately gave in to preserve the relationship.

You sighed and opened up Kakashi’s messages.

Y: You can give him my number if his gf didn’t kill him after that

Kakashi didn’t respond until hours later, when you were curled up in bed with a book you had decided almost immediately to lend to Obito once you were finished. It was only a thumbs up, so you continued devouring the book without having to respond. It was sort of a psychology of the self type thing, and you found it incredibly interesting. You figured it might be a nice change over the lengthy novel you had lent him for the weekend. 

By late afternoon, your eyes stung and the words started blurring together. You finally gave up and took a break with the rumbling of your stomach. You made yourself a snack before once again retreating to your bedroom.

You didn’t have the mental capacity to do much else. Another disappointment from an attempt at going out drained you more than you were willing to admit. So, you ended your day by finishing your book and going to bed early. 

You dressed more casually for work than the previous week and gathered Obito’s new things. You sealed them away for your travel and made one stop before heading to his home. 

You hadn’t gotten your first paycheck yet, but for your own sake, you needed to pick these up. You browsed only shortly, picking out a tall lamp for the living room and one for his bedroom. You couldn’t stand having the overhead lights on; they were overly bright and cast harsh light on everything, making it feel unwelcoming. With the cloudy day and your mood to match, you needed some soft, warm light. Besides, you were sure Obito would appreciate it more for his reading.

On your way towards checkout with the lamps and bulbs, you spotted the cutest set of mushroom storage containers you had ever seen. You stopped to look at them, but told yourself you already had containers and to just walk away. 

Then you realized that even if you had them, Obito didn’t, and wouldn’t it be so nice to own some that were so cute? Being unusually impulsive, you snatched up the set and bought your items. 

You arrived at the clearing right on time, and felt the pleasant woosh as you stepped through the barrier. It was starting to look like it was going to rain, the clouds were darkening quickly. When you were almost to the door, you stopped. You inhaled the scent, letting the calm before the storm wash over you while closing your eyes.

The front door burst open, and your eyelids shot up. Obito stood in the doorway, looking at once stressed, and then deflating with relief. You waited for him to speak while you studied his expression. He looked more tired than how you had left him, with red rings around his eyes like he had been recently crying.

“Good morning,” the words came out in a rush of air as he let out a deeply relieved sigh.

The way he looked at you reminded you of your conversation with Kakashi. Softly, you replied, “Good morning,”

He stepped back a bit and held the door open for you. You quickly made your way through and thanked him for holding it. He only nodded and followed closely behind you to the kitchen. Instead of feeling discomfort, you welcomed his presence. Something about that conversation had awoken your intense care-instinct.

When you took out your scroll and placed it on the counter, you noticed how his eyes followed your every movement. You unrolled the scroll on the floor next to the counter (which was still as clean as you had left it) and made the signs to open it. 

You observed Obito’s reaction as everything poofed into existence. His brows wrinkled in confusion. He opened his mouth and closed it twice before finally asking, “What’s all this?”

“I put in a formal complaint so I could get you new stuff,” You waved a hand over the pile. 

For a long moment, he said nothing. You watched his intense dark eyes get teary and a light blush caressed his cheeks soon after. Averting his gaze, he fidgeted with his fingers and shakily said, “This is - this is really nice, thanks,”

Your heart hurt from his reaction. You wanted to pull him into a hug; tell him you would give him all the kindness he deserved. And your newfound reaction didn't surprise you. You had always been this way; the second you decided someone truly needed your care, that instinct went into overdrive. You smiled at him and reached out to lightly grasp the back of his upper arm. 

“Of course, there’s plenty more to come,”

You let go and went to the pile where you started to separate everything so he could blink back his tears in peace. You heard him sniffle as you gathered up the blankets and towels and headed for the washer. You threw in a load of sheets and started it up before heading back into the kitchen. 

Obito was standing next to the counter, holding the new red and white mushroom containers. There was a small smile on his face as he inspected them. He looked up as you approached. 

“What are these?” 

“Containers for flour, sugar, and brown sugar. I thought they were too cute not to buy… Besides, this place could use a little more character, don’t you think?”

He gave a little nod of agreement and placed them in a row on the counter against the wall. You put the new pans and tupperware in and around the sink to wash after breakfast and got started. Obito leaned against the counter while you worked. You noticed that his body moved minutely in whichever direction you were going when you stepped away from your spot.

“How was your weekend?” He asked.

Without breaking from your task you responded, “Uh, it was good, I guess. Besides the shopping, I got to see an old friend, so that was good,”

“Oh,” you looked at him. “And I read this book I think you’ll like. I brought it with me. It’s in my bag if you want to check it out,”

He slowly pushed himself off the counter and went to retrieve it. He was more interested in watching you than reading, but he'd bite. While he was pulling it out he paused. Your phone, which was on silent, was ringing and he curiously picked it up. 

“Hey, you’re getting a call,”

Surprised, you looked behind you where he was holding it. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know, it’s just a number,” 

You wiped your hands off on your pants, concerned it might be Hikaru’s school calling or something. You put your hand out, but the call ended right as he handed it to you. 

Almost immediately, you got a message notification on the lock screen. You unlocked it and saw it was from the unknown number. Frowning, you clicked on it. 

Unknown: Hey sorry for the drunk voicemail

Unknown: Kakashi just gave me ur number

Unknown: This is Genma btw

Your frown became a grin and you flicked your eyes up to Obito, who was watching you curiously. In response to his silent question, you said, “It’s the old friend I was talking about,”

He nodded, curiosity not quite sated. You hovered your thumbs over the keyboard, thinking of a response, when a sudden realization hit you. You looked back up at Obito and said, “It’s Genma, actually. I forgot you went to the academy with him for a second there,” 

You completely missed the beginnings of a scowl as you typed out:

Np. I could tell you were drunk af lol

You saved his number and turned the screen off. You bypassed Obito and put your phone back in your bag. He was trying very hard to keep a neutral expression when he asked, "So, how do you know Genma?"

"Oh, you know. We were assigned a mission together and just clicked. That was years and years ago, when he was still a chunin."

You chuckled to yourself. "We used to train a lot together... You know, he used to spit those poisoned senbons at me to make sure I actually took it seriously?" 

You wore a highly amused expression, eyes slightly unfocused as you recalled your memories. Obito didn't know what to say, so he just pulled a face that said you were insane and left it at that. 

The longer you were there, the more exhausted Obito became. He had been unable to sleep over the weekend; the noise in his head was louder than a hurricane. A large part of him had decided that you wouldn’t be back Monday morning, that you hated him, and that he would be left alone once again. That sentiment played over and over in his anxiety-addled brain. 

Despite his mind assuming the worst, he desperately wanted you to come back. Every fiber in his being wanted you there; wanted your company. Even if it was solely on a professional level, he needed someone's presence for his own sanity. 

He watched you bustle about from his spot on  the sagging couch. He had attempted picking up the new book, but his eyes wouldn’t focus, so he gave up after only a few minutes. Your increasingly blurry figure rocked back and forth as you took dishes from the drying rack and put them away.

Suddenly, you turned and asked, “Are you listening?”

His heavy eyelids blinked slowly and he shook his head. You tilted your own head, studying him while he tried to refocus on you. You approached and stood in front of him, leaning slightly over his slumped form. 

In a soft, hushed tone you asked, “Did you sleep at all this weekend?”

“Not really,” he managed with a heavy tongue. 

“Your blankets are done, why don’t you go lie down?”

He shook his head. He wanted to stay awake with you. At the very least stay in the same space.

“Obito,”

The sound of his name on your tongue was lovely. When did you start saying it like that? You held out a hand to him and he just looked at it, his tired brain unable to comprehend the gesture

Unrelenting, you brushed your fingers across his forearm until you got to his hand. You gripped it firmly and tugged just enough for him to get the hint. Flames licked everywhere your fingers had trailed. It woke him just enough to follow your command. Slowly, he peeled himself off the couch. You helped him stand before dropping his hand. 

He dragged his feet all the way to his room, and couldn’t even appreciate the freshly made bed and blankets with how blurred his sight was becoming. He absently noted that you pulled back the comforter for him, and then he was face down in the bed, asleep.

You gently pulled the covers over him. You started walking to the door, but stopped halfway. You turned around and stood over him, letting your fingers gather the green glow of chakra. You pressed your fore and middle finger against his temple. 

As a shinobi, you knew intimately how terrifying dreams could be, and you had no desire to hear the effects of his while you were present. You pulled your hand back and watched him sigh deeply from his nose. With your medical ninjutsu, you provided him with a dreamless sleep, and left him be. 

Part VII

[avatarl0v3r]

The Cave Navi Chapter IV| NeteyamxNaviReader

Warnings/notes: two year time skip, fluff, this is rushed and i might delete it a rewrite some of it but i’m not sure as of right now

Summary: After two years of being in hiding and the threat of the sky people, the cave na’vi come out of hiding and back to the cave they call home, Y/n returns home as Olo’eyktan, and a changed person both physically and mentally, after two years she sees neteyam, the two friends reunite with some personal feelings involved, and new threats thought to be gone are back

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you sat on lilos back as you walked towards you home, the place you’ve missed so much, it’s been two years since you were last here besides protecting your people from the sky people and helping other navi fight against them had forced your clan to become nomads for two years.

and now here you were returning home as Olo’eyktan your father having stepped down from his title due to being hurt badly that it almost costed him his life, and you being ready to take on the responsibility you were made Olo’eyktan your brother weap the head warrior.

as you lead the people through the forest back to the cave a smile was on your face along with your friends, family, and the rest of the clan you moved with ease on lilos back as you got off dipping your feet into the water near the waterfall as most sprayed your face and body, many of the na’vi were happy to see their animal friends they haven’t seen in years some running around with them, other just walking around or playing games.

you sighed content with the fact you were back home in the forest of pandora, instead of the eastern side of the sea during your two year stay with the Tayrangi Clan, you loved the clan but being on the ground and being able to run through the first on lilo was way more fun then flying.

—

later that night you decided to head out for a walk with lilo throughout the forest as it glowed, it allowed you to forget your Olo’eyktan duties for awhile.

you walked for what seems like how’s just letting your mind wander lilo walked at your side, you walked to a small river bank watching the fish glow in its clear waters, before rolling over on your back to feel the grass beneath your body, almost cradling you, as the sounds of the forest at night eased your mind.

you laid like that for awhile basking in the moonlight and glows of the forest, until a crunch brought you out of your trance.

you sat up, eyes waiting for anything, watching every corner lilo behind you waiting along side you “lilo, stay ready” you say holding out your knife, you held your breath a arrow wizzed passed you you moved your head to the side barely missing it, your ears pinned to your head with your teeth bared.

it was silent you got onto lilo’s back running back into the forest as she ran you bent down to her ear “i’ll take the high ground” she slowed slightly, you jumped and grabbed a near by branch and spun your body so your back was touching the bark.

you didn’t see nor hear anyone, the creatures of pandora being the only noise you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding, lowering your bow but still ready for anything you peeked around the body of the tree making sure it was clear before moving you stalked along the branches jumping and landing on the ground.

you stalked around to make sure everything was clear before a twig snapping caught your attention, swiftly turning with your arrow aimed and your eyes narrowed observing the person they turn and started to run away before falling flat on their back colliding with your thanator.

she put a large paw on the person you walked over and stood above the person not recognizing them “who are you?,”you asked harshly still having traded the bow for a knife the person only stared fear evident in their eyes “i don’t have all day speak” “lo’ak” they said with their hands up, body pushing into the dirt.

you clicked your tongue having lilo get off the poor boy you put your knife away and helped him up “i’m sorry i shouldn’t have attacked you like that” he laughs “no worries bro” your eyebrows creased in confusion “bro?” slowly putting the pieces together your eyes became softer and a large smile found its way to your face “lo’ak,” you said with a large smile before engulfing the boy in a hug “i haven’t seen you in so long you’ve changed” lo’ak laughed and hugged you back “you’ve changed too” you both laughed pulling apart.

“where’s your brother?” lo’ak laughed nervously “searching for me i snuck away and our dad sent him to find me, i been running avoiding him” he looked at you.

you thought for a moment “i could give you a ride back” lo’ak tried to protest “no isn’t a answer, and i want to see your home” you said with a genuine smile plastered on your face.

—

neteyam returned home empty handed it was time for dinner so he headed to the middle of home tree and found his father “i didn’t find lo’ak” he said looking down not meeting his fathers eyes jake stood up, the height a slight difference neteyam only being slightly shorter he put a hand on neteyam shoulder “he’ll be back soon” he said look at the entrance of home tree before he and neteyam sat down continuing their meal.

a thanators roar was heard the omatikaya gasped many started to tremble in fear, jake stood “a thanator never comes this close to hometree” he grabbed his weapon neteyam following suit along with the other warriors.

they watched ready to attack as a thanator jogged in the center of hometree many navi backed away along with the warriors “what do we do?” jake stood frightened for a moment “i don’t know we never fight these” jake held his breath.

neytiri held her daughter close, tuk on the other hand studied the thanator before he eyes widened “lilo!”and she broke out of her mothers hold “tuk!” tuk ran to the thanator, it stopped before her looking down at the girl lilo watched tuk as she jumped around trying to play with the girl jake and neytiri watched confused.

“neteyam it’s lilo” tuk said with a smile neteyam stood for a moment before recognizing the creature before he then ran to her petting her he looked at lilo “wheres y/n?” lilo turned her body toward the two figures walking into hometree.

neteyam stared in shock before taking off running towards them tuk following.

-

lo’ak has just finished telling you about how they found a new hometree during the two years you were gone before watching someone run to you the next thing you knew you’re feet weren’t touching the ground and you were spinning you looked down to see neteyams smile before you wrapped your arms around him.

“neteyam i see you” you said laughing once he put you down “i see you.”

tuk hugged you before taking your hand and dragging you to the center.

many na’vi looked at you in wonder, shock, and amazement saying things like “they’re real?!”, “their eyes are so blue”, “they’re markings are a different color”.

tuk led you to her father “daddy this is y/n” tuk said excitedly “y/n olo’eyktan of the Cave Na’vi,” the silly kids looked at you in shock of your title lilo stood next to you “and this is lilo.”

many of the omatikaya looked at you still in shock neteyam stood next to you.

“welcome to home tree y/n.”

[bayofwolves]

The Return: Revised — King

You guys know about Path of the Heroes. (Probably. it's the name of an original fourth Spirit Animals arc I'm writing.) But what you might not know is that another part of the project is to take the existing three arcs and rewrite them. Not entirely, but tweaking and modifying for continuity's sake. There are some pretty big canonical divergences in Path of the Heroes (Shane is alive, for one), and since my writing starts after canon has ended, I have some explaining to do.

This may take ages, but that's okay. Since the original course of events stays mostly the same, I can easily just do rewrites of pivotal chapters for now.

Such as this one.

I completed this a while back in the summer. I guess I just never posted it, despite being so proud! This is the last chapter of The Return, where we get the long-awaited reveal of who the mysterious Redcloak is. Personally, I wish the author had given this chapter to Abeke instead of Rollan. I needed to see what was going on in her head! That was really what motivated me to redo this one.

This sets things up for the next development of Abeke and Shane's relationship. From the moment the Greencloaks get on the ship at the end of The Return to the climax of the final battle in The Burning Tide, the two inadvertently end up in the same vicinity, leading to some talks and growth in their relationship. They're healing. Abeke hasn't forgiven him yet, but she's noticing more and more how he's changed for the better.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. For now, here's the rewritten final chapter of The Return!

Content warning for suicidal ideation and dissociation.

Quick notes:

The title of this chapter has been changed from 'Redcloaks' to 'King'.

Shane and Tasha are cousins, which is mentioned here. Shane's mother, Queen Gwyneth, had two siblings; Tasha is the daughter of her brother. Thus, with Drina deceased, Shane missing and Gar leaving no children, Tasha is set to take the throne of Stetriol. There's a lot more to this, but I'll go into it some other time.

This is not the final cut -- this chapter will receive some more edits before being fully published as part of the project. Think of it as a sneak peek.

Okay, enough preamble. Read it under the cut!

Spirit Animals: Fall of the Beasts

Book 3: The Return

Chapter X — King

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓☽.𖥔 ݁ ˖

The chill wind that rose from the sea seeped into Abeke's bones. She shivered and pulled her cloak more tightly around her shoulders, but made no move to leave her spot at the ship's rail. Her gaze, fixed on the fading shape of Zourtzi in the distance, remained unbroken.

She felt hollow. She had no desire to move, to speak, even to think. She doubted she would be able to if she tried. It took all that remained of her willpower to draw in shallow breath after shallow breath. All the life had been drained out of her, the very moment Zerif's black spiral had begun to pulse on Uraza's brow. So there she stood, watching the conquered fortress grow smaller.

Perhaps the tears would come later. So far, she didn't have it in her to cry.

The absence of Uraza was like a wound, the ugliest wound she'd ever been dealt, throbbing with every dismal beat of her heart.

She was so lost.

So alone.

Abeke brought shaking hands up to her eyes and pushed until she saw stars. She willed her heart to simply stop. What life was worth living without her spirit animal?

Soft footsteps sounded behind her. Abeke didn't need to look up to tell that it was Rollan. She knew his footfalls, his voice, his face, even better than she knew her own.

She didn't turn as her friend walked over to her, his steps measured and unsure. It was unlike him to move so carefully around her, Abeke thought. She could feel the pity radiating from him without even seeing his face. It all made Abeke want to jump over the side of the ship.

Rollan made no sound when he reached her side, only wrapped an arm around her shoulder. At the contact, a little warmth bloomed through Abeke's body. It almost brought tears to her eyes.

"How are you doing?" Rollan spoke. Concern was etched into the familiar curves of his face. Abeke wanted to lose herself there, in the steadying weight of his brown eyes, but she couldn't hold his gaze. She glanced away.

"Empty." The sun-tipped waves of the sea rolled below them. Abeke found strange solace in their neverending flow. "Lost. Alone." Her voice didn't sound like her own. It was as if someone else was commanding her body, as the real Abeke hovered above and watched everything play out. Like a ghost.

Rollan was silent for a moment, before he spun her towards him and pulled her into a tight hug. Abeke let herself be pulled and positioned in his arms, like a doll. But as the hug stretched out, she felt the sheet of ice that covered her heart begin to melt away.

"You're not alone," Rollan mumbled into her neck. Abeke dropped her head to his shoulder and hugged him back with all the strength she had left.

When they finally pulled back, Rollan's eyes were wet. Abeke's own throat had started to close, so much so that she didn't trust herself with words. She returned to leaning over the rail, but this time, her arm brushed Rollan's.

"She was there, and then in the space of a heartbeat, she was gone," Abeke recounted. She lifted her eyes to the smoke rising from Zourtzi – the last place she had seen Uraza. "She looked at me like I was a stranger. It was as if our bond had never existed." Abeke forced herself to keep her eyes on the horizon. She knew that as soon as she closed them, she'd see nothing but the moment Uraza leaped for her throat, replaying over and over.

"We'll get her back," Rollan said fiercely. "I promise."

Turning her head, Abeke regarded her friend through a film of tears. The love and worry in his expression was almost overwhelming.

Abeke sniffed and swiped at her face before the tears could fall. She didn't know how to respond – couldn't – but Rollan seemed to understand, like he always did. They stood side by side in the silence Abeke needed.

Awkward footfalls met her ears not long after, and Abeke felt Rollan turn through their connected arms. "Hey," came Tasha's voice. Her dark hair and green cloak came into Abeke's peripheral vision as the younger girl stopped at her other side.

"How's Kirat?" Rollan asked softly over Abeke's head.

"Fine," Tasha murmured back. "The Redcloak medic is tending to him." The exchange fizzled out, and Abeke soon felt the weight of both her friends' gazes.

Abeke blinked down at Tasha's brown hand, covering her own on the rail. When had that gotten there? "Abeke," the Stetriolan girl was saying. Unlike Rollan, who was always in sharp focus, her voice seemed to come from a long way off. "We're here for you."

Abeke pulled her head to the side. It was all too much.

A third set of footfalls sounded on the deck behind the three. Two short steps, strong and curt.

Curiosity compelled Abeke to look. As one, the three Greencloaks turned to take in the newcomer.

It was the Redcloak.

Abeke's eyes flicked over his sweeping scarlet cloak, his black leathers, the smooth wood of his mask. She had seen plenty of Redcloaks, even on this ship, but only one wore a mask so strange. Only one of them had no face.

Some of the fog that had settled over her body since Uraza was taken seemed to lift. Who really was this mysterious warrior that had saved them time and time again?

Something deep in her heart told her she already knew.

"Is everyone in your party all right?" the Redcloak asked. His voice was deep and raspy, almost reptilian in quality. Abeke tried to compare it to the voice she remembered from her past, the voice that still sometimes spoke in her dreams, but recognized nothing.

She realized after a moment that his gaze hadn't strayed from her.

"We'll survive," Rollan said for all of them. His voice rang clear in her ears. She glanced to either side of her, noticing the wariness in Rollan's face and the way Tasha nervously clung to her wrist. "Now, how about explaining what's going on here? I think it's about time for some answers."

The Redcloak tipped his head to one side as he considered Rollan, his oddly pale eyes glinting under his mask. "Soon," he said simply. "Be patient. We're taking you somewhere safe."

"Yeah, and where is that?" Rollan countered, bitterness lacing his words. "If you haven't noticed, nowhere is safe anymore. Zerif can get to us anywhere. In Zourtzi, in Stetriol and even at Greenhaven."

Tasha drooped beside her. A distant part of Abeke wanted to comfort her, but what comfort could she give?

Strangely, the Redcloak seemed to droop as well. "So the rumours are true," he said with a sigh. "Greenhaven has fallen as well."

There was something so intrinsically familiar about his stance, his speech, his whole bearing. Abeke had mulled this over for many nights, but now, with him standing a mere ten feet away, she felt everything in her threaten to spill out. Her heart ached, and she had the strangest urge to reach for him. Could it really be him? After so long?

The masked figure stared out to sea for a brief moment. "You should rest. There are more battles to come."

Then he turned and made to stride away. With her heart in her throat, Abeke pushed away from her friends and staggered forward. "Wait," she called hoarsely. "At least tell us your name."

The Redcloak turned around and fixed Abeke with his uncanny eyes.

"You've saved our lives again and again." The pounding of her heart was deafening. She could barely hear herself over it. She stepped forward again, then gripped onto Rollan's shoulder for support; he had hurried to her side. "Tell us who you are," she repeated, "so that we might thank you properly."

The Redcloak hesitated. "I'm called King," he said at last. Was it her imagination, or had his posture softened a touch? "I am the leader of the Redcloaks."

King. A hush fell over Abeke's mind. King.

As he watched her with wide eyes, Abeke heard Tasha speak from behind her. "Thank you," she said quietly. "We are forever in your debt."

King only spared a glance to acknowledge her. He tilted his chin again, then moved to walk away once more.

Abeke watched as he stopped still, his back to them. She watched him slowly turn back around. And with her heart thundering in her ears, she watched him fix his eyes on her.

His next words came soft, low. "I used to be known by another name."

Not of her own volition, Abeke found herself shaking her head from side to side. No. No.

The Redcloak drew back his hood, revealing light blond hair. Then he reached behind his head and unfastened his mask. "You knew me as Shane."

The mask fell away.

Abeke couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. She didn't react to Rollan's gasp of shock and Tasha's startled cry of "Cousin?" Her surroundings melted into waxy darkness. All she saw before her was Shane.

Though it was unmistakably him, the boy she used to know was barely recognizable. His normally tanned skin was pale, like he hadn't seen the sun in months. Knobbly green ridges had replaced his eyebrows, giving him a fearsome, monstrous look. Worst of all were his eyes. Gone was the keen blue stare that Abeke remembered so well. Instead, she was met with glowing, reptilian yellow-green. They were twice as large as they should have been, and bordered by pebbled scales. Slitted pupils stood out at their centres, holding her captive. A shudder of revulsion rolled over her.

"What happened to you?" Rollan's voice came in a horrified whisper.

Abeke hardly registered the words. Her breathing was coming in ragged gasps, and she felt the prickle of sweat all over her body. Her hands were already slick with it. She clenched them into tight fists, ignoring the way they trembled.

Of course.

It was him all along.

He and his Redcloaks had fought for them in their every hour of need – but now they were at their mercy. They were still in the dark about their motives, and now they were surrounded by them. Abeke's heart seized with panic. Her thoughts flew to Tasha, Shane's rival for the throne, and Kirat, belowdecks with the rest of the Redcloaks. Would they be safe with Shane? What if his only reason for helping them was a twisted desire to collect the newly reborn Great Beasts for himself?

The memory of the mysterious red-cloaked figure coming to her defense in Amaya sprang into her mind. He had saved her life from Arax. In Zourtzi, too, he had protected her from Zerif. Was it possible he still cared for her?

Abeke swiftly banished those thoughts from her mind. Shane was the enemy. He would always be the enemy. And this reveal was proof he would never stop lying.

I'm called King. Abeke shook with barely repressed tension as she remembered his words. An image of Shane with the Devourer's crown atop his head and a wicked smile on his face flashed through her memory. I am the leader of the Redcloaks. She saw him at the head of the Conqueror army at Muttering Rock, almost obscured by their black masses, seated astride his giant crocodile. How did she not see it before? How could she be so foolish?

She knew who the Redcloaks were.

They were enemies.

Shane's eerie eyes bored into her. Abeke recognized them now as crocodilian. How could she believe, even for a moment, that he might have wanted to change for the better? The symbol of his betrayal was branded over his once-handsome face.

But Shane wasn't the only one who was different now.

Abeke was done taking chances.

And she had nothing more to lose.

Whipping the bow off her back in one swift motion, Abeke brought an arrow to the string and pointed it straight at her former friend's heart.

The world came back into startling clarity the moment she did so. She heard a scream from Tasha, heard Rollan clap his hand around the girl’s wrist to hold her at bay. Abeke kept her eyes locked with Shane's. Was it the rocking of the ship that was causing her aim to waver?

"I had hoped it wasn't you," she rasped. "I had hoped you weren't tricking me again."

Shane was silent, slowly bringing his clawed hands up.

"Abeke, he just saved our lives," Tasha said urgently. "Maybe we should –"

Abeke stared at her in blind fury. "Do you know the last time Shane saved my life?" she snapped. "He used it as a way to sneak into Greenhaven and betray us. He used me. I was nothing but a tool to him." Tasha recoiled in the face of her anger, eyes wide with shock. Guilt flickered through Abeke, but she had no time to apologize. Resolutely, she turned her attention back to Shane and tightened her hand around her bow. "It'll be no different now."

"That's not true," Shane protested, with such force behind his words that it surprised her. "You were never a tool to me." His raised hands lowered and spread in a pleading gesture. "Much has changed since we last spoke openly… as I'm sure is obvious. Everything I've done with this mask, this cloak, this name, was not to deceive you, but to start anew and atone for my mistakes."

Abeke tilted her head to the side, steeling herself. She wouldn't let Shane's honeyed words ensnare her again. She was past this. She was stronger than this.

Her sweaty hands were making it hard to keep a firm grip on her bow. Could she shoot him, here and now? Did she have it in her?

With every passing second, she was less and less sure.

Behind her, she heard the worried voices of Rollan and Tasha. They were calling her name, trying to summon her out of her trance. It reminded her painfully of the last time she'd confronted Shane – the duel they'd fought in front of Kovo's empty prison. That time, too, she hadn't been able to finish him off. Something almost like instinct wouldn't allow her to.

She felt it now, some deep force within her, causing her arrowhead to tremble as she looked into the haunting face of her former friend. She let out a short scream, hoping to dispel some of her rage and pain. Sudden tears obscured her vision. "Give me one good reason why I should trust you," she challenged. Her voice came out raw and broken.

Shane stared at her for a long moment, and though it was impossible to read any emotion in those slitted eyes, Abeke thought she sensed immense sadness from him. "Let me speak plainly. The end is near."

Abeke gave a wry, husky laugh. Indeed, Erdas must be in her final days for the two of them to reforge an alliance.

"I know this is difficult, but I need you to trust me. To trust us," the boy said gravely. "There's something you need to see. It may be the key to saving Erdas, and perhaps the key to saving Uraza as well."

Abeke's eyes widened in shock. Hesitantly, she lowered her bow a few inches.

Shane wanted to help Uraza?

His slitted yellow-green eyes tracked her movement, unreadable, before they returned to hers. Something almost like hope lit his face. "Give me this chance, and I promise you, I won't let you down."

Abeke considered him for a long moment. Once, Shane had been a friend to her, a steady comfort even across opposite sides of the war. He had traded that all away for victory, using her as a pawn in his schemes before tossing her aside. He had made promises, and he had broken them. But now he stood before her, after saving her and her friends so many times, with a vow to save her spirit animal as well. Abeke looked at his changed appearance and felt horror. But now, she wondered if a better change was brimming below the surface.

Her bow fell to her side as the fight suddenly went out of her. She stared blankly at it for a moment, then took the arrow from the string and slipped it back into her quiver. She had thought about shooting it across the waves to release some of her tension, but decided against it. No need to waste an arrow. After all, she thought, turning dark eyes up at Shane, there are more battles to come.

She would place her trust in him for now. But for the sake of her friends, for Rollan, for the children they were tasked with protecting, she would be on her guard.

Slinging her bow over one shoulder, Abeke glanced over to Rollan and Tasha. Rollan, who knew her so well, must have read something in her hollow gaze that she herself was oblivious to. He was at her side in a heartbeat, touching her hand with his. Tasha followed in his wake, putting a hand on Abeke’s shoulder with more uncertainty. Abeke stood still with them for a moment, surrendering the worst of her pain and anger to the ocean wind. Surrounded by the best things she had left in her life, she could breathe.

Abeke looked down at her friends, giving them a weighty nod. Tasha returned it, then Rollan. They were with her. They would face this together. The thought renewed her strength.

With a deep breath, Abeke locked determined eyes with Shane. "Where to?" she asked.

Shane took a step forward and looked out across the water. "We sail for the Place of Desolation."

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓☽.𖥔 ݁ ˖

[auxiliarydetective]

AP-01: Project Apocalypse

ch. 12: Sleepsong

AP-01 Masterlist

This fic is part of the Academy Projects series, a full rewrite of The Umbrella Academy with the addition of an original character, Kassandra Hargreeves. Throughout the story, you'll stumble across a few songs. This is supposed to make the fic feel as much like the show as possible, so I recommend you don't skip them.

Warnings: Canon-typical issues, alcohol / heavy drinking

The drive to Meritech was a long one, the tension in the car almost palpable. Diego and Luther could start fighting again any minute now, Kassandra knew, and so she was somewhat thankful for the awkward silence in the air. Each of the siblings was just staring out of the window or at the road, Diego and Luther in the front, Kassandra in the back seat. Still, at least there was something connecting them, and that was that they were all worried about Five. Kassandra’s worry only grew when they got closer and closer to Meritech. – She couldn’t sense her brother there.

“There, that’s Five’s van,” Luther called and pointed to a cleaning company van parked beside the sidewalk, in line of sight of Meritech.

“See, Kass?” Diego hummed as he pulled over and stopped the car. “You could’ve just stayed home.”

“Well, the van’s there,” Kassandra commented, “but Five’s not in it. So, you might still need me.”

Really, when they reached the van and peeked in through the windows, they found it to be empty. Luther pulled at the door but it wouldn’t budge, so Diego pushed him aside and cracked open the lock. Then, they proceeded to bump into each other and almost get stuck because they couldn’t agree on who got to climb inside first. Eventually though, they got it, and the siblings started searching the van.

The back was mostly filled with cleaning supplies, some hung on the wall, some strewn about on the floor, while the front housed receipts and documents and the crumbs of a few snack meals to last for the stakeout. Kassandra settled into the driver’s seat and flipped through the masses of paper to find something Five might’ve written, a message or anything, when a whistle from Diego demanded her attention. He had a habit of doing that, whistling to get others’ attention, as if they were dogs. As much as it annoyed her, Kassandra turned around, only to be faced with the first page of an open book. Not just any book. Vanya’s autobiography. So, Five had read it – a lot of times, clearly, since it was very worn out – and he had scribbled tons of equations in it. But Diego was out for something else, something he was tapping his finger against.

“What library is that?” he asked, pointing at the faded library stamp on the title page.

“Well, it’s the city’s public library,” Kassandra muttered, “but—”

“Yeah, I can see that, but which branch?”

“The stamp is rubbed off, I can’t tell you. All public library stamps look the same except for the name and address - but all that’s left here is the base shape and a few letters, that’s not much to work with.”

“Great.”

“Wait, you work at the Public Library, right?” Luther asked, turning to look at Kass. “Can’t you get into the system and find out where he borrowed this from?”

“Well,” Kassandra sighed, “judging by the state this thing is in, Five probably got this in the future and he most likely didn’t actually borrow it. But I could check which branches of the library still have Extra Ordinary in their collection – I think all of us got one copy of the book each but not all of us might have kept it. After all, the book became less popular as time went on.”

“Thank god,” Diego grumbled.

“So, let’s go to Thompson,” Kassandra suggested, motioning Luther out of the car. “Timmy’s on shift today and he still owes me a favour.”

“Timmy? Who’s that? Your boyfriend?”

“No, he’s a coworker. And you had better be nice to him if you want him to help us.”

-

So, another drive later, the trio arrived at Thompson Public Library, and Kassandra waltzed right in through the front entrance. Timmy was coincidentally behind the front desk when they came in and he beamed when he saw her but she could sense his blood turning cold the moment he spotted her brothers behind her. Kassandra cursed herself internally. Of course. Both Diego and Luther looked like they were about to assault people, Diego with his knives and Luther with his, what, seven feet of pure muscle? Any reasonable person would be scared of them if they didn’t know them, but Kassandra was so used to recalling their little seven-year-old selves, and she knew that they were all bark and no bite, at least to her. Timmy on the other hand…

“H-hey, Kassandra, I, uh, I didn’t think you’d be coming in. – Are- are those your brothers?”

It didn’t help that they were staring him down either.

“Yeah,” Kassandra said cheerfully. “This is Diego… and Luther.”

“Hi,” Luther said, giving a slight wave. Diego, however, barely made a simple gesture.

Realizing that she was getting nowhere with them by her side, Kassandra suggested that Diego and Luther should take a look around. Go find Five was the secret instruction, in case he was here. Hopefully, he was. It would cut their search a little short. The moment the two of them were out of sight, Timmy let out an audible sigh.

“Geez… I didn’t know your brothers were—”

“They’re real sweethearts,” Kassandra interrupted, “just, y’know… tough shell.”

“Ah.”

“Listen, Timmy, I need a favour.”

And so, Kassandra explained their situation, leaving out the part about their brother being missing and replacing it with some sort of inheritance issue that Timmy didn’t need to understand. Timmy, ever the gentleman, was quick to get on his computer and let Kassandra behind the front desk, asking her to sit down while he did his research. It didn’t take him long and he dictated the various branches of the library that still had Extra Ordinary in stock to her. So, Kassandra gained a list of possible places that Five could be hiding at, one of them being Thompson. If they wanted to find him and find him quickly, they would have to go by some sort of system. The gears were grinding in Kassandra’s brain, until something nudged her from the back of her mind.

“Do you have a map?” she asked, scribbling little symbols on the side of her notepad.

“Yeah, sure,” Timmy muttered, trying to make sense of her behaviour. “We have the flyers for— Hey, what happened to your foot?”

“Oh, I fell down the stairs, nothing major.”

“Nothing major?! Sandy, you could have a concussion! Have you been to a doctor?”

“No, I haven’t. And I did have a minor concussion but I got better.”

“Got better?!” Timmy huffed, his chest and brain spiralling and sparking. He checked the room for any signs of her brothers, then continued. “Kassandra, you know you can tell me anything, right? If you need help—”

“No, I can’t tell you anything,” Kassandra insisted, taking his hands into her gloves. “I can’t tell anyone anything, I thought you understood that.”

But Timothy just scoffed. “I shouldn’t have let you go home.”

“Don’t say anything,” Kassandra hissed. “You don’t know what it’s like. What we’re like. You wouldn’t understand. Once this is all over, I hope we can move past this,” she lied, “but for now, the only help I need is for you to give me a map.”

“I’ll call the police.”

That was when Kassandra grabbed Timmy by the wrist, yanking his hand away from the phone.

“Don’t,” she demanded, “or my brother will bust your kneecaps. That’s not a threat, it’s a warning,” she added, “because I don’t know whether I’ll be able to stop him.”

Wordlessly, Timothy handed her a flyer with a map of the various branches of the public library, and Kassandra took it, retreating to one of the tables near the entrance hall to start on her project. Sketchy lines and colored symbols covered new pages in her notepad, her trusty color-change pen her constant companion on this newest mission. Then, she laid the six scribbled pages out in front of her and got to work on the map, marking the Umbrella Academy with an X and making little annotations. Every library branch was equipped with a little symbol, an estimated distance to the Academy and a number. Finally, she connected everything with annotated lines.

“Holy shit,” Diego muttered behind her, pulling her out of her focus for a moment, “I haven’t seen those messy sketches in years. You really never forget shit, do you?”

Her two brothers were standing behind her, looking over her shoulder and inspecting the drawings.

“Five’s not here,” Luther announced. “Is that one this place?” he then asked, picking up one of the drawings.

“Yeah, that’s Thompson,” Kassandra confirmed, plucking it out of his hand.

She diligently gathered together all of the drawings and put them into her notepad, placing the flyer on top.

“We have five more libraries to get through and I’ve made us a route of where we’re gonna go in what order.”

“Woah, woah,” Diego cut in, “that looks like a wild goose chase.”

“Trust me, there’s a lot of thought behind it and a lot of logic even but I can’t tell you what the logic is, so you’re just gonna have to trust me. Just like good old times.”

-

Three libraries and almost double the hours later, Kassandra followed Diego and Luther inside Argyle Public Library. By now, she really regretted going with them. The two of them had done nothing but bicker throughout the whole journey, and Kassandra herself had felt very useless – and she had taken her last ibuprofen a while ago, so she was about to be in pain as well.

As per usual, the three of them split up to attempt to tame this monster of a library. Hundreds of shelves across so many floors… No wonder, this was the biggest branch of the eight that there were. Hopefully, Five was really in here. Otherwise, she would never hear the end of it from Diego about how awful her route had been. Unless Five wasn’t in the last library either, in which case Diego would be condemning the entire idea instead.

Still, Kassandra justified her tagging along on this goose chase with one simple thought: Five might need her. Not, Luther, not Allison, her, because she was the only one who really knew what was going on with the apocalypse. Maybe he would even give her a hint of a compliment for her efforts at trying to find out the source of armageddon. She had had her thoughts about it. There was one fairly obvious reason that armageddon could be caused, but if her whole route and scheme didn’t work out…

Finally, with a quiet ding of the elevator, Kassandra reached the top floor, only to find Diego and Luther standing at the stairs in a discussion. It was about why Diego had left. So, Kassandra quickly turned the other way before they could notice her, venturing into the labyrinth of shelves. That was when she heard the agitated whispers of two women.

“Where are his parents?”

“I’m calling security.”

Quickly, Kassandra followed the voices, turning back towards the balcony looking down upon the entrance hall.

There he was!

A very tousled Five was sitting on the ground between two pillars, sleeping with an empty vodka bottle in his hand and a mannequin in his arm. Well, it wasn’t much of a mannequin, really. It only had one arm and no legs, but Five was clinging to it like one might cling to a lover. The pillars and glass railing around him were covered in equations exactly like the ones in his copy of Vanya’s book, drawn on with a sharpie that had fallen out of his limp hand.

With a newfound urgency as well as some form of relief, Kassandra hurried back to Diego and Luther, who seemed to have reached a stalemate in their discussion, if only for a moment.

“Before you start again,” she cut in, “you should come with me. I found Five and I need your help with him.”

“What, does the little psycho not wanna go?” Diego questioned.

“He’s drunk and asleep. We should get him out of here fast, I think one of the librarians is calling security.”

Luther sighed. “He’s always been trouble.”

Swiftly, Kassandra led Diego and Luther back to where Five was sleeping. Luckily, the coast was still clear.

“Drunk as a skunk”, Diego chuckled when he saw the old boy. “Come on, Kass, you’re the caretaker here, do something.”

Carefully, Kassandra kneeled down in front of Five. Part of her was worried that his first reaction to being woken up would be to stab someone. Still, she shook him lightly.

“Five…? Five… Wake up.”

Five groaned and his head dropped to his chest. Then, he opened his eyes and looked at Kassandra blearily.

“Oh… It’s you… Is mommy coming to pick me up from school?” he slurred.

“Yes, mommy’s coming to pick you up.” Kassandra smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. “But I can’t carry you, so Luther will do that, okay? Right, Luther?”

“Alright, come on,” Luther sighed. He scooped Five up from the ground like a training dummy. As he did that, the mannequin fell out of Five’s arms.

“No, Delores!” he cried out.

Quickly, Kassandra picked Delores back up and put her back into Five’s arms. Then, she collected the bottle from the ground.

“Alright, let’s get out of here,” Diego grumbled.

They snuck their way out of the library through the back entrance, into a shady alley. In the state he was in, it was better not to let Five into any car. So, they had all silently elected to walk, as much as Kassandra didn’t want to. The only question was what they were going to do with the little troublemaker.

“We can’t go back to the Academy,” Luther stated. “It’s not secure there. Those psychopaths could come back any moment.”

“My place is closer,” Diego offered. “No one will look for him there.”

Five let out a small belch as he was hanging there in Luther’s arms like an overcooked noodle, holding on to Delores. Immediately, Luther smelled danger.

“If you vomit on me-”

“You know what’s funny?” Five cut in.

“No, what?” Kassandra asked, calmly as ever.

Diego was a lot less calm. He marched ahead of the group, looking completely annoyed. Luther wasn’t doing much better either.

“Ah! I’m going through puberty”, Five remarked. “Twice. And I… I drank that whole bottle, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Kassandra confirmed. “A little much for your small body.”

“Well, that’s what you do when the world you love goes bye-bye. Poof, it’s gone. … What are you guys talking about?”

Luther sighed in exasperation. “Two masked intruders attacked the Academy last night,” he explained.

“They came looking for you!” Diego announced in a sarcastically cheery voice. “So I need you to focus. What do they want?”

With a little cleansing breath, Kassandra pulled off her glove and put her hand on Five’s. The oncoming wave of drunkenness almost knocked her over, but it might just be their only way of getting clear answers, with her piecing together all she could read out.

“Hazel and Cha-Cha,” Five slurred.

“Who?”

“You know I hate codenames,” Luther grumbled.

“Oh, the best of the best, except me, of course.”

“The best at what?”

“You know…” Five trailed off, “Delores always said she hated it when I drink. She said it made me surly—”

“Hey!” Diego shouted and spun around on his heel to stare at Five. The whole group came to a stop. “I need you to focus. What do this Hazel and Cha-Cha want?” he asked very clearly.

Five just grinned like this was all a game to him. As to be expected, he said nothing.

“We just wanna protect you.”

“Protect me?” Five echoed. “I don’t need your protection, Diego. Do you have any idea how many people I’ve killed?”

“… No.”

“I’m the Four frickin’ Horsemen!” he boasted. “The apocalypse is coming.”

Then, he hurled his head to the side and vomited on the ground. Kassandra immediately brushed his hair out of his face. The poor guy… He would feel absolutely horrible in the morning and it was questionable how long he’d still feel good now.

“Anything from you, Kass?” Diego asked while looking away in disgust.

“Nothing that would change the original plan,” Kassandra murmured as she started gently rubbing Five’s back.

“Even if there was, she couldn’t tell us,” Luther recalled, grumpily avoiding his gaze. At least the vomit was going past him.

Finally, Five had stopped. He was breathing heavily and groaned as he settled back into his original position. Gently, Kassandra wiped his mouth with a tissue, despite his fruitless struggling.

“Why don’t you sleep a little, Five?” she suggested, carding her fingers through his hair.

“But I’m not tired,” Five protested. “Hey, is there still something left in the bottle?”

“It was empty, so I threw it away,” Kassandra explained.

She gave Luther a little nudge to start walking again. After all, it was best if they kept moving. Besides, she wasn’t sure if this little trick would work at all since, last she had checked, she wasn’t Allison.

“And I do think you’re very tired. I’ll even sing you to sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep.”

But Kassandra started humming, her hand on Five’s head. In her mind, she made her intentions clear, and she sent them over to Five through her telepathy. Only the calmest thoughts reached him. Softly, she started singing a tune she remembered hearing when things had gotten tough at the Academy, when her world was starting to fall apart.

Lay down your head

And I’ll sing you a lullaby

Back to the years

Of loo-li lai-lay

And I’ll sing you to sleep

And I’ll sing you tomorrow

Bless you with love

For the road that you go

Diego regarded her sceptically and she could feel Luther’s eyes on her too, but she kept her mind on one intention only: Sleep. To lull Five into the world of dreams. The thoughts she sent him were calming, caring, all the love she could gather from her heart. Lord knew he needed it… Really, she could feel Five’s mind getting quieter with every line she sang.

May there always be angels to watch over you

To guide you each step of the way

To guard you and keep you safe from all harm

Loo-li loo-li lai-lay

Finally, his head dropped back and he snored quietly. Carefully, Kassandra removed her hand, a smile forming on her lips.

“You can do that?” Diego questioned, arms crossed. “Don’t ever do that to me or I swear I’ll douse you with an ice bucket.”

“I didn’t expect it to work,” Kassandra said quietly. “I’m not Allison, I can’t bend reality. But I have some power over the mind. I’m sure if Five hadn’t been drunk, it wouldn’t have worked.”

“He wouldn’t even have let you close.”

“That too. But I doubt his mind would have been open enough to suggestions either. It’s like hypnosis, it all depends on how cooperative the subject is. Well, I suppose it is hypnosis.”

With Five passed out and quiet, they reached Diego’s place soon. He lived in the basement of the boxing gym that Kassandra had found him at, right next to the boiler room. Not much of a place, Kassandra thought, but he had decorated it at least a little, and if he liked living here… Gently, Luther put Five down on the bed while Diego put Delores on a chair. All three of the siblings found themselves fondly staring at Five for a while.

“Funny,” Diego said. “If I didn’t know he was such a prick, I’d say he looks almost adorable in his sleep.”

“I think we all looked adorable when we were thirteen,” Kassandra hummed, only to be met with vehement resistance.

That was when steps echoed out in the hallway. Immediately, Diego told everyone to be quiet and pulled out one of his knives. But Kassandra sensed no danger. Still, she decided to obey. Virtue of silence and all. Quickly, Diego pulled open the door, ready to attack.

“You throw another one of those knives at me, I’m pressing charges!” the voice of an old man came from outside.

Diego scoffed. “What do you want, Al?”

A boxing trainer came in – Al, most likely. His face didn’t look like he was a trainer, but his attire made you assume he was. By what Kassandra gathered, he was the owner of this place, having given Diego the basement room in exchange for him mopping floor.

“I ain’t your secretary,” he complained

“Yeah”, Diego mumbled without interest.

“Some lady called for you, said she needs your help.”

“What lady?”

“I dunno, some, uh, detective. I think she said her name was, uh, Blotch or something.”

“Patch?”

Now, Diego was alert. Kassandra could feel electricity in the air, her sixth sense filling with a sensation akin to the smell of sea spray but sharper, more desperate, and a thumping heartbeat echoed in her ears. It was almost like he was in love with this lady Patch. Was he in love? He was in love. He loved her and feared for her.

“She needs you to meet her at a motel, a dump on Calhoun.”

“When?”

“About half an hour ago. Uh, said she found your brother.”

Now, Kassandra too was electrocuted. Five was here. But that could only mean the brother in question was…

“Klaus!” she gasped. “I knew it meant trouble that I couldn’t find him!”

Suddenly, all of the things she had forgotten came back to her. A blue bear and a pink dog, the hallway, guns, the stairs, Vanya. Rushing through the servant’s pathways with her leg damn near falling off, bursting into Klaus’s room. The way he had looked at her with wide eyes, how she had choked on her words and spat out blood, how he had tried to comfort her. The hit on her head, the fading in and out of consciousness, the sight of Klaus in absolute terror and despair, carrying her back into the pathway and shutting the door.

Oh, Klaus, I’m sorry…

Kassandra was already storming for the exit when she ran into Diego’s arm, hopelessly pinned in place.

“You stay here”, he demanded. “Take a rest. Ibuprofen’s in the cabinet over there, take it and sit down. I’ve got this.”

Then, Diego sprinted off. Kassandra was left there with large, pleading eyes and a metaphoric hole in her chest. Helpless, she looked back at Five and Luther, trying to console herself with the fact that she might be needed here when Five woke up. But Klaus… How could she have forgotten that? In large chunks, guilt was eating away at her heart.

General Taglist: @starcrossedjedis @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene @bravelittleflower @box-of-bats

Academy Projects Taglist: @therantsofawriterrr @come-along-pond @the-wyvern-institute @cherrybombgigi

Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

[liquorisce]

So idk if you've touched it since but can you give us a little sneek peak of BYLB as an original work? Like the new characters and things things you plan on/have changed from the version we read?

thank you so much for this question!!

i'm not sure i have a sneak peek that that is good enough to share, because for a long time, despite rewriting nearly 25k words, i couldn't pinpoint what was wrong with it. I thought changing pov might be able to tell the story better, but that was a tool, not the material itself.

thanks to all the reading and writing i have been doing on other projects, i have been thinking about bylb a lot. i think one thing i'll have to do, a kill-your-darlings of sorts, is to cut down a lot of details about other characters, and sometimes whole characters themselves.

the story i really want to tell demands a lot of interiority, and i think i'm way better at it now, but it also makes me understand then, that i cannot devote the same kind of attention or perspective to levi's backstory with petra. to his dynamic with hange. The incident that occurred between Cherry and Hange. I can't just throw them in there like I did last time and expect those things to resolve themselves.

I'll explain it this way. In my first draft that's up on ao3, I'm trying to talk about:

Levi, Hange, Levi's late wife and their relationship to the sex work industry. All of their relationships are different and filled with different types of pain. Levi was a cop that fell in love with a sex worker who became his CI, and then got caught and murdered for it. Hange is a trans character who wants to undergo a sex change surgery and is trying to save up for it, but at the same time they want to invest in creating a better environment for the girls who end up in similar situations. With Cherry we see a situation where Hange feels like they have failed in that endeavour, because Cherry refused to follow the boundaries laid out by Hange, and ended up being abused at the hands of a customer who claimed to love Cherry.

Mikasa on the other hand is trying to reclaim the ownership of her body by making it work. quite literally. she's been mothered by hange, fathered by levi, and this industry whilst dangerous, has been a playground of exploration for her. because she's been so protected, she doesn't consider the aspects of it that she doesn't want to. she's a good dancer, and she's proud of it. she wants to get a kick out of turning men on, so she does. But where Levi and Hange feel like shit for exposing her to this industry, she is trying to assert a "Why can't I do this if i feel safe and free?" kind of attitude.

Mikasa's sexuality: Mikasa is somewhere on the ace spectrum, demi i guess. she's felt broken for so long because her body doesn't experience desire the same way as others, but she's grown up knowing that her body elicits desire in others. and she's tried to push and prod and poke at that sensation until it's sore. Now for whatever reason, she finds it in the arms of a man who is supposed to be off limits to her. She is willing to disregard these limits, but this man is hot one minute, cold the next, hung up over an ex, and mostly unreliable.

Eren's backstory and divorce: Obviously Eren comes into the story with a really key perspective, the opening scene is about him and his friends, and his inner turmoil. What I was trying to do was write a man on the precipice of change. Here you have a man who thought he was doing all the right things in life, and suddenly he's found out it doesn't work. What is a moral choice anymore? He isn't so sure. What am I doing with a stripper? Why am I getting a divorce? How am I in love with someone else when I promised to be with my wife forever? Why do I feel like a different person when I am with this mysterious girl? etc.

Historia's sexuality and cheating: I obviously have sympathy for her, the way I wrote her into the story. She married her best friend but fell in love with a woman much later, something that she never expected would happen to her. This is not something she has an understanding of, herself. She has a controlling father whom she genuinely fears for, and is still very fond of her husband. So even though she wants to leave him, she is scared to leave him behind. He's one of the few people in her life who has been good to her, after all.

I have 2 choices to make here,

1) either I write a dual pov story from Eren and Mikasa's perspective, in which case I would really massively cut down point 1, and just briefly mention point 5 and change Mikasa's back story because there is so much to unpack in the dynamic itself, OR

2) I would keep the story from Mikasa POV and try to tackle all the above whilst featuring Eren as just a love interest. you know what i mean?

I THINK i am leaning towards the former, but this is a thing that keeps me spinning every three business days. Ultimately I am also conscious of "writing what I know" and the idea that I could be making an offensive commentary on sex work does scare me. On the other hand, I love romance and writing about Eren unravelling feels so compelling to me.

Regarding character changes: I like the character I have fleshed out for Mikasa. where I lean into her wistfulness, devotion and submissiveness in other fics, here I wanted to explore her pride and obstinacy, and desire to fight. So I like the character that I have here. In an original, I would call her M, and have her whisper her name to her lover, and the audience would not know it until the very end.

One thing I have toyed with seriously, is making M an onlyfans persona who breaks a lot of rules for a man who says he's never done this before, and kind of taunts her by asking what's so special about her. this is what i would do if i choose to option 1 as I explained above, because then I can just really make this an obsessive love story that takes place in the shadows. And I can still touch upon points 2, 3 and 4 in proper detail! If I got this route, I picture M's persona to have pink wig and a pole installed in her room. I wonder if she would be a rich girl. We'll have to see lol.

Eren on the other hand... oh boy. I just would not know what to name him. I have grown attached to the name 'Mr Jaeger' and it kinda sounds sexy, idk what else to say lol. Also while writing original fic, I also feel somewhat of a fraud writing names of people that are so far removed from the names and cultures that I know intimately. I've toyed with the idea of making the MMC an indian man, because I can then relate to the cultural obligations family thrusts on you especially in a marriage. i think i just need to give myself permission to do this, and a lot of things will fall into place, because here then is an archetype of man that i know LOL.

I think the real thing is nailing down what questions I am trying to answer in this story, and i'm still not a 100% sure. However, writing this post was super fun and helpful because it also lays out very clearly what I need to think about and write about. All I know for sure is that I will write it eventually, and it will have a positive ending. thanks again for this ask!

[hraishin]

I'm writing a book

So, I've talked about this before but I've never really did anything to show my commitment to writing an original story. This particular story has been in my mind since 2017, when I wrote the first version of it. As you can imagine, six years can change a lot of things, including how you see a story you write and how you told that story. Now, six years later, I'm finally rewriting the story in a way I feel like it's worth to tell, with more meaning than the one I wrote when I was 17, going on 18, and hadn't even realized who I was yet. Now, I have the first chapter/prologue of that story ready and translated into english too, and I want to share it with others.

Keep it in mind that this is just the start and that things might change in the future, but I'm happy with how this looks for now, so, please, enjoy this if you want to give this little story I created a chance!

P.S.: The book is currently nameless, but I'll get to it (some day lmao) I'm also thinking about doing something with my ko-fi to give everyone an update on the story's progress and also to talk more about the characters (god knows I have a lot to talk about when it comes to my ocs haha)

Link to the story in Brazilian Portuguese (original language): X Link to the English translation: X Link to my ko-fi: X

And here's a sneak peek under the cut so you know what you're getting yourself into hehe:

The creature sits on the ground, the noise of chains echoing through the room with its movement. Its lips tremble, cracked and dry, while tears wet its cheeks. The sound that leaves its mouth is a quiet whimper, the sound of a child in fear, big green eyes staring at the only two figures that are standing a few feet from it. In the eyes of those who watch it cry, it doesn’t find pity, only weak curiosity; after all, the creature is crying, but it remains quiet. They expected more noise coming from a child.

“Daithi,” calls one of the figures. The creature follows the sound of their voice until green eyes find the ones of the woman who speaks. Stars shine inside them, a universe inside two orbs that look at it with indifference. “You haven’t given your opinion on the child yet.”

“And should I?” Says the other presence. The creature turns its eyes to him, finding eyes as black as the darkness of the night. Different from the woman’s, the man’s eyes find contempt. “It’s a freak, my lady. And to think that the blood of the Fae runs in her veins…”

The woman’s lips curve, some discomfort for the words said showing in her expression, as if she didn’t enjoy how the man spoke. Even so, the creature sees that she doesn’t disagree fully: the creature knows the woman sees her as a freak, although she doesn’t want to admit it so openly like the man by her side.

The stars in her eyes move with the movement of her face, and the creature forgets for a moment about the iron chains burning the skin of its ankles and wrists, admiring the woman in front of it. Star Eyes seems to soften with the look and clear admiration, even if just a little. Darkness Eyes notices, his expression turning even more serious.

“Lorell,” Darkness Eyes calls, and his voice demands attention. “This creature already lived more than it should. She’s six, your subordinate hid her for six years- It’s time to end this.”

The creature shakes. It is young, but it knows what’s happening — its mother wasn’t stupid, she knew what could happen if she was found out, and she warned a creature since it was very young. The tears fall a little stronger now on its face, chest moving quickly while its breathing grows. Green eyes turns to the stars in those judging eyes and make a silent wish: the creature wants to live.

“Do you have a name, child?” Asks Star Eyes.

For the first time the creature speaks, its voice shaking and failing due to the crying.

“Mace.”

“Mace,” repeats Star Eyes. She knows — the creature knows that she knows — that that’s not her true name. “And do you have any notion of what you are, Mace?”

[reinekes-fox]

Currently adding the route for the ambit(ch)ous people.

Might have to rewrite, as I am not happy with certain parts, but have a sneak peek (spoilers: no, that guy is not a RO, and yes, you will get an oppurtunity to kill him later! Or have him killed, what you prefer):

Maximilian grins and you want to wipe it of his face.

"Now, my dear Wing, it is time I gave you what you so crave, right? You have been very well-behaved, and isn't today a perfect day for me to uphold my side of our little bargain?"

[multisfabulis]

Only Through Acceptance Will Love Find Us

Changes on the Horizon (Chapter 4)

Word Count: 4179

It's been over 7 months since I last updated this fic and it had to be a chapter that has given me the most trouble to write thus far!

I genuinely don't know why writing this had to be so much of a struggle. The rough draft was fine, for the most part! When it came time for the rewrite portion, I just couldn't be satisfied with anything I'd written for it, even after 3 or 4 rewrites. It got so bad that I ended up asking my beta reader/friend for help because I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong and I wanted their input on this to see if they had any suggestions. Then something akin to a miracle happened; I managed to find inspiration from an unlikely source (which I shan't divulge because it is NOT something I want to discuss on a public forum) and I was finally able to write to a degree I was both content with and found quality in. I still struggled with other parts later on but they weren't nearly to the severity the beginning was.

I don't know when the next chapter will be or whether I'll have just as much trouble with it as I did this but it'll be sometime next year! At least I can say I updated this fic more this year than I did last and that's good enough for me.

Read on AO3 | Read on DeviantArt | Support me on Ko-fi!

     Several hours passed before Ven felt brave enough to open the front door. Her eyes scanned the area for any signs of Renard, hoping she wouldn’t catch a glimpse of blond hair or white clothing. He was sure to be angry with her, enraged even. People like him never took rejection well, especially after being humiliated in such a degrading fashion like he’d been. There was no telling what he might do to her upon seeing her again, which scared the utter shit out of her.

     It was only a kiss. A kiss, something she considered to be far better than whatever else he had planned for her. Yet knowing that did nothing to help calm the anxiety roiling in her stomach. The scene kept replaying over and over again in her head, forcing her to recall each and every disgusting detail. The way his body felt atop hers, how his eyes looked when they met her gaze, the warmth of his breath as their lips were about to touch, it…it made her sick.

     What was she supposed to have done? Should she have tried to fight him off or let him have his way with her? Was living in fear of retaliation better than living with the shame and guilt of allowing him to do that to her? Could she have done something differently to avoid either outcome? What was the right answer here? Was…was there even a right answer?

     She wanted to bash her head against the nearest wall. What was the point in asking herself all these questions? No amount of what-ifs, could haves, and should haves would change what happened. The only thing she could do now was learn from it. Ready herself so she wouldn’t be caught off-guard again. That meant keeping her dagger on her at all times just in case.

     Her mother wouldn’t be home for another few days yet so Ven was determined in holding the fort down until then. Once Mother made a safe return, they would pool their money together and leave Belleurseul at first light. She didn’t know where they would go but anywhere was better than staying here.

     For now, however, she had pets to feed. She walked out to the stable with tentative strides, peeking over her shoulder every so often to see if Renard was waiting for her when she looked back. Thankfully, she reached her destination with little to no issue and she was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

     The animals brayed and clucked at her arrival. She gave them all a smile as she filled one of the troughs with hay for the cows and sheep to munch on before turning around to scatter seed for the chickens. They dug in straight away, acting as if they’d never been fed a day in their life while Ven took the liberty of refilling their water. Then she sat on the stool Mother often used when she’d milk the cows and watched them eat. At least they were happy.

     It wasn’t long before her mind began to wander. What was she going to do about Renard? Dealing with him herself was out of the question since he could easily overpower her if she made any attempts to fight back. That left asking someone for help but who would want to help her in bringing the golden boy of Belleurseul down? That wasn’t even taking into account whether or not anyone would believe her in the first place. She’d be inviting hell to come to her doorstep if she came out about this. Was this what they called being stuck between a rock and a hard place?

     Maybe a walk was in order. A dusky stroll around the woods might do her some good, help clear her mind of things. So she quietly stepped out from the stable and made her way towards the forest that surrounded her house. It may have been stupid to go traipsing through the place so close to nighttime but she knew nothing dangerous lurked in there. She would be all right.

     The sky was streaked with shades of red, orange, and violet as the setting sun cast its golden rays across the land. She walked through the woods with leaves of similar color crunching beneath her feet and a chill beginning to seep into her bones. Some of the trees had already lost their dressings with the coming of winter, which meant the others were sure to follow not long after. She and Mother would need to start stockpiling food soon if they were to survive while on the road.

     Memories of the time she spent here flooded her mind. She remembered how she’d crawl into bushes or climb up trees to hide from imaginary monsters and how she’d dig into the mud after it rained to find and catch worms to bring home. Then there were the days where Mother played with her when she felt well enough to do so and hadn’t had work to do. Those Ven looked back on fondly. She was really going to miss this forest when she and Mother left.

     There was one spot in particular she’d hate to leave behind. Other people would regard it as nothing special but not her. To her, it was her safe space, her home away from home. It was a place she could go to for some peace and quiet when life became too much for her to handle sometimes. She wasn’t sure if there’d be anything like it again outside of Belleurseul. Knowing her luck, the universe would take it away from her just as she found it so she wasn’t feeling optimistic.

     Her heart stirred upon arriving at a familiar clearing. What greeted her first was the hill with its tall grass that stopped at her knees as she passed through. Then it was the climb up to the top of the hill. Awaiting her there was the rolling countryside bathed in light and the multicolored expanse looming above it. Seeing that in all its glory always brought about a sense of wanderlust, a desire to go and explore everything the view had to offer. This was why she loved coming to this place.

     She sat down amid the grass, basking in the fading sunlight. The wind ruffled her hair and clothes as she drew her knees up to her chest to keep herself from shivering in the cold. The sight was as beautiful as always to behold. Yet looking far off into the distance did little to quell her mind.

     What laid beyond Belleurseul’s walls? What was the world like outside the confines of her cage? It all seemed so grand and vast to her that she wondered if she’d ever see only a fraction of what there was. She longed for the call of adventure, yearned for it with every fiber of her being. However, there was one thing she wanted more than anything else, something she coveted with her very soul. When would they finally come into her life to rid her of her loneliness? When?

     Her gaze wandered over to a lone dandelion standing beside her. She thought it strange to find one blooming out of season here, especially with it being so close to winter and all. It was then she remembered an old superstition she heard about them way back when she was a child. If one were to blow the seeds off it, it would make their dreams and wishes come true. It never worked for her in the past but she had the urge to try it again, if only for nostalgia’s sake.

     Plucking it out from the ground, she held it up to her face. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going to rely on an old fairy tale to help bring her happiness? God, it sounded so stupid, so childish, so embarrassing to trust in something like this but it was the only thing she had left at this point. So, with reddened cheeks, she closed her eyes and made her wish.

     ‘I wish to meet my prince.’

     Thus the seeds were scattered to the wind, carried off in the direction of wherever it blew to. She watched them vanish from sight, hoping someone out there in the great beyond heard her and granted her wish. Maybe, just maybe, this was the way to go about it. Only time would tell if it worked or not.

     Then there was what sounded like clattering behind her. She hastily rose to her feet, her hand going straight to where she had her dagger sheathed on her thigh. Her heart pounded in her ears at the thought of facing Renard again but she wasn’t planning on going down without a fight. She would scar the bastard right where it hurt the most so everyone knew of what he had done. She waited in anticipation for his arrival, her eyes trained on the opening she walked out of not too long ago.

     However, her would-be intruder wasn’t Renard. It was Dahlia, trotting out of the forest with Mother’s cart still attached to her. There was still cause for concern, though, when her rider appeared to not be in the driver’s seat controlling her. That sent alarm bells ringing throughout Ven’s head.

     “Dahlia?” She stepped forward to hold Dahlia’s face in her hands. “Dollie, what happened? Where’s Mother?”

     The horse only pushed her muzzle closer to her. It was times like these Ven really wished animals had the ability to talk. Quick glances over at the cart revealed mud caked on the wheels and marks resembling scratches along the sides of the wood. Were they attacked by a pack of wild animals on the road? Whatever the case may be, she needed to get to the bottom of it.

     Detaching the cart from Dahlia, Ven climbed up on her saddle and ordered, “All right, girl, take me to where Mother is! Quick!”

     With that, Dahlia galloped back in the direction she came from. Ven’s mind raced a thousand miles a minute as they hurried to wherever Mother was, wondering just what happened to her yesterday. It couldn’t have been anything good, judging by the marks left on the cart. Still, now wasn’t the time to be thinking of the worst-case scenario. She needed to remain calm and focused on finding Mother. She was going to bring her home safe and sound, despite her intrusive thoughts saying otherwise.

     Night descended upon them right when they reached yet another forest shrouded in darkness. Dahlia slowed to a walk as she sniffed along the ground in an attempt to find and track Mother’s scent. Wolves howled in the distance, scaring Ven more than she had been previously. So they were the ones responsible for attacking the cart, she thought with a grimace as her grip on the reins tightened ever so slightly. Suddenly, the horse let out a whinny and broke off into a trot.

     It was a short time later they stumbled across it. A large castle with a moonlit veil stood before her, everything except its shape obscured in shadow. She could just barely make out its arched windows set in the walls above and the chiseled stonework that gave this building its form. She would’ve doubted Mother being here if it weren’t for the odd lack of sentries keeping watch at the front gate. A noble wouldn’t leave their home unguarded for no reason, right? Was it possible then Mother took shelter here, believing it to be empty?

     Slowly but surely, they walked through the gate. Shivers ran up her spine at the idea of entering this creepy place alone but she wouldn’t be deterred. She came here with a goal in mind and nothing was going to stop her from returning home with Mother in one piece. Climbing off of Dahlia, she approached the set of heavy-looking doors that laid up ahead of her. When a couple knocks earned her no response, she decided ‘to hell with it’ and headed inside by herself.

     She stepped into what she presumed to be a foyer. The door slammed shut behind her with a loud thud and she nearly jumped out of her skin in fright. She waited for servants to accost her, question her on who she was and what she was doing here in the middle of the night. Yet no one came, leaving her to wonder if the castle truly was abandoned or if she had just caught a lucky break. Either way, it certainly made it easier for her to try finding her mother in this place. Steeling her nerves, she ascended up the grand staircase.

     “Mother?” she called out, her voice bouncing off the walls and high ceiling. “Mother, are you here?”

     No answer. Whether that was good or bad, wasting time around here wasn’t going to prove anything. She stopped upon reaching the landing and looked up at the darkened hallways on the second floor. She didn’t want to be here longer than was necessary so picking the right way to go was key. Deliberating on it for a few moments, she chose to search the east wing. Her footsteps echoed all throughout the room as she climbed the stairs and entered the left corridor.

     She was terrified. She wasn’t one to believe in ghosts and such but the creaking of wood underfoot, noises she could swear were whispers, and the feeling of eyes drilling into her were making her think otherwise. The suits of armor she’d occasionally pass by didn’t help matters, either. Still, she continued onward, determined to be brave in the face of potential danger.

     “Mother? Mother, are you here?” She turned round a corner and found herself in another dark hallway. “Mother, if you’re here, please answer me. I…I need you to say something.”

     “Oh, are you with miss Ravavyre?” a voice replied to her left.

     She stopped dead in her tracks. There weren’t any doors she recalled walking past so who did that voice belong to? She looked in the direction of where it came from, spotting a lone candelabra sitting atop a nearby table. Nothing seemed to suggest the presence of another person but she was sure she didn’t hallucinate that.

     Retracing her steps, she answered, “…Ye-yes but who are you? I ask that you show yourself.”

     “I’m over here, miss!” They sounded closer but she still couldn’t see them.

     She decided to approach the small end table. There wasn’t anything on it to indicate someone was talking to her through it, like a loudspeaker or a similar device, yet she was sure this was where she heard it from. Then it hit her. Was the candelabra itself speaking to her?

     “H-hello?” she quietly called. She waited for an answer, something to prove to her she wasn’t crazy. Nothing happened. “Of course, what was I thinking? Random inanimate objects don’t speak, Ven, what were you---”

     The candelabra sprung to life and excitedly replied, “Hello, miss!”

     She screamed as she jumped backward and fell to the floor. Okay, scratch what she was thinking earlier, she had to be going mad because there was no way in hell a candelabra just talked to her. It hopped down from the table and started making its way toward her with its wicks brightly lit. She needed to run, hightail it outta there, but she was frozen. Crap, crap, crap!

     “Calm down, miss, you’ve nothing to be afraid of!” it said, waving its arms in a motion that was meant to be nonthreatening. “It’s all right, I won’t---”

     Remembering her dagger, she whipped it out from its holster and pointed it in the candelabra’s direction, ordering, “Stay right there! Don’t come any closer!”

     “All right, all right!” It did as it was told, keeping its arms up. “Listen, miss, my name is Fria, okay? You’re looking for your mother, who happens to be miss Nithenoel Ravavyre, correct?”

     She eyed him suspiciously. He knew who her mother was and he didn’t seem to be harboring some hidden agenda or ulterior motive. After having her dagger trained on him for a few moments, she breathed out a sigh and dropped her hand. He had information she needed so she had to play ball with him. The second he tried anything, though, she wouldn’t hesitate to punt him across the room.

     “Yes, that’s her,” she answered, sheathing her dagger. “I apologize for my rudely behavior, I’m not used to talking candles and---”

     “It is quite all right, miss,” he assured her with a smile. He hopped up to her and took her hand between his to kiss it. At least he was a gentleman, if nothing else. “Would you like me to take you to her? I’m sure she’d be quite happy to see you.”

     Forgoing any pretense of subtlety, she said, “Yes, please, I…I was so worried when our horse came back home without her and I just wanna know if she’s okay.”

     “Aside from some minor injuries, she is all right, I promise.” Fria turned away to face the darkness up ahead. “Come, follow me. I’ll take you to where her room is.”

     “R-right!” She rose to her feet and fell in line behind him. “Thank you, Fria, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

     “It is all well and good. By the way, might I ask you for your name?”

     “It’s…Venlithea but I prefer to be called Ven.”

     “Ah, pretty name for a pretty girl.”

     The corners of her mouth curled up into a tight smile. He only said it to be nice, not because he actually meant it. Besides, even if he did, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to take it as a compliment after the day she’d had today. Renard thought she was and that turned out so well, didn’t it? So she decided to just brush it off as she followed after Fria down the long corridor.

     The glow from the candlelight made venturing through this a little easier, which she was grateful for. She could see windows that were as tall as the ceiling with their curtains drawn to her left and large portraits hanging on the wall to her right. The people shown in them were from a family she didn’t recognize and their name didn’t ring any bells in her memory. What were they like? They had to be interesting folks if they had someone like Fria as one of their servants.

     “So, tell me, miss Ven--” Fria started, breaking Ven out of her reverie-- “how did you find your way here? I’m curious to know if you happened upon us by accident or if you knew of us beforehand.”

     “Oh, no, I didn’t know anything about this place. When Dahlia, the horse I mentioned earlier, came home without Mother, I simply asked her to take me to where she was and I guess she tracked her scent and led me here. This is actually my first time ever leaving home so this is all new to me.”

     “Ah, I see. I must say, you’re very brave for going through that dark forest all by yourself. At your age, no less!”

     She resisted the urge to trickle some bite into her words as she corrected him with, “You appear to be mistaken, Fria. I only just turned 18 a few months ago so I’m not as young as you believe me to be.”

     “Ah, I apologize, miss. Regardless, I commend you for your effort. It must not have been easy for you.”

     They fell silent shortly before arriving at their destination. The anticipation was killing her as Fria knocked on the door several times to see if the person they were here for was behind them. A voice that sounded similar to Mother’s answered and he announced he had a visitor with him. It was at this point Ven couldn’t wait any longer. She took hold of the handle and swung it open.

     The first thing she saw was her mother, who was in the process of getting out of a king-sized bed. Then her eyes laid on the bandages wrapped around her arms and the parts of her legs that were left bare. Her clothes were different from the ones she was wearing yesterday and her hair was tied back into a singular ponytail as opposed to the usual four braids. Finally, there was the simple cane she grabbed on to help her stand as her eyes widened in surprise at Ven.

     “Thea, when did you---”

     “Mother!” She all but tackled her into a tight hug, burying her face in her chest. “God, I was so worried about you! When Dahlia came back home alone, I thought you had---”

     “It’s all right, sweetheart, I’m okay.” She felt Mother return the hug with just as much strength as a hand stroked her back. “It’ll take a lot more than that to knock out this old woman.”

     Tears sprung to Ven’s eyes as Mother let out a hearty laugh. Having her in her arms again like this after worrying over whether she was dead or not caused the dam she’d been building since Renard’s assault earlier to burst. Sobs wracked through her body as she cried like a child in her embrace, much to her mother’s bemusement. She needed this, especially with everything that happened today.

     Pulling away to dry her tears, Mother asked, “Did you really miss me that much, Thea? I said I’d be back!”

     “...Yeah, I did,” Ven replied, hoping she didn’t hear the hesitation in her voice.

     “Well--” she wiped away another tear as she chuckled-- “I know I shouldn’t say this but it does warm my heart to see how much you love me.”

     Ven choked back a laugh. She hated lying to her mother but she couldn’t bear having her know the truth. She’d feel so guilty for leaving her there alone to be taken advantage of and that was the last thing Ven wanted. They just had to pool their money together, then they’d be gone from Belleurseul sooner rather than later. They wouldn’t have to put up with Renard ever again.

     Their happy reunion was briefly interrupted by Fria telling them Ven was free to stay the night and dinner would be served shortly. There was just the matter of letting the Master know about the new guest but Fria was able to ease their fears with assurances of him being fine with it. The Master, known as Ferreth, seemed like a decent enough person if he allowed her mother to stay here free of charge. Ven wanted to thank him for taking care of her before the day was over.

     Still, today was…a lot. The pain of losing her dear friend still lingered but having her mother there to comfort her made it easier to handle. They were planning to return home tomorrow so as to not be a burden on the people living here. They were the kind to not overstay their welcome. As much as she dreaded the possibility of facing Renard again, she’d be brave and prove she wasn’t scared of him. She would just need to act the hell out of it.

     Tonight, she would rest. Reality could wait.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

*peeks in the room from around a dark corner like the chaos goblin that I am*

Ask you? Ask you writing meme letters? Permission to ask granted?

*Aizawa grin*

Do letter O! Show an Outline!

*cackles and poofs away*

You're a shit and we all know it.

Alright, I kinda do outline/plots. Here is the one for Engine Roars: starting line because it's a rewrite and it won't spoil things. I have already slightly gone off course.

First chapter is them discussing the marriage and the contract. Iida family offers to pay for Izumi to go to a new school. She accepts. Izumi makes sure to remain friends with all her potential suitors. Discovers Hawks is way older. It’s creepy to everyone. 

Chapter 2 is Izumi finishing her school. Bakugou makes noise and Izumi reveals she chose Iida. People are either shocked or not surprised at all. Bakugou is very shocked and throws a fit that’s stopped by the teacher. Said teacher is going: this child chose a hero family I ain’t messing with that. End of the chapter has the end of the school year.

Chapter 3 is Izumi in her new school. Bakugou is a brat. She goes to a gala, meets people.

Chapter 4 is Izumi and Iida going through school. Izumi helps with some charities and is in the media fairly frequently being passionate. Noted is that Bakugou is causing Izumi some annoyance. Tensei calls in help to have a few heroes around. Crime goes down, Bakugou can’t bug her.

Chapter 5- a year later. Izumi is known for her passion. Is happy with her future. Bakugou confronts her and Tenya. A bit of a fight. Slime villain happens. All Might offers her the Quirk. Training begins.

Chapter 6 more training. Izumi and All Might bond deeper. They beach clean up is had. Meets Ochako and Aoyama.

Chapter 7 Izumi gets the Quirk age 13/14 and starts training hard. Best friends with Ochako/Aoyama/Shinsou/Tokoyami.

Chapter 8- Entrance exam plus seeing Bakugou. We learn more of his thoughts concerning Izumi and the fact she seems to have moved on from him. We also learn Mituski and Masaru are oblivious and think BakuDeku will happen.

Chapter 9- the Quirk test and first few days of classes. (Note to self: Should I have Bakugou in 1B?)

Chapter 10- Battle trials

Chapter 11: more classes.

Chapter 12 USJ

Chapter 13: USJ. Izumi discovers black whip. Shigaraki thinks she is Sensei’s child. End

[otterpopyt]

Did you know I'm a bit of a fantasy writer? I like to experiment with many variations of fantasy, including low fantasy, urban, and supernatural.

Earlier this year I finished writing/rewriting the first installment of one of my favorite trilogies in recent memory. The second installment is slow-going, but the blurb below from the first chapter is personally one of my favorites. Very mild spoilers, ghosts and spirits are an important concept to this story.

But the way they are involved and how the protagonist responds to them might be a little different.

______________________________________

The students began filing into the building, with the four friends near the rear of the crowd. But Blake had already slowed down, rapidly thinking. With subtlety, he reached behind his back and carefully undid one of the zippers on his backpack. As if to reposition, he leaned towards one side.

A few moments later the weight on his back lessened, and a few books and notebooks crashed on the sidewalk behind him.

Blake spun around and stopped. "Shoot." He glanced back at his friends. "Hold on, I gotta pick up my things. I'll meet you in class."

Cameron and Amelia took little notice of the incident through their own conversation, but June gave him a brief thumbs up before all three of them disappeared through the main school doors. While a few students still remained just outside the entrance, Blake now had enough room to quickly gather his things, and then creep backwards to a secluded corner of the building. He shoved his things into his backpack, and scanned the grounds intently.

"I know you're there," he called out. "You can stop hiding."

But no one appeared. No one peeked out from any corners, nor did they slink out of any shadows or hiding places. Blake once again felt that unusual warm chill from earlier, much more noticeable than before. He knew he'd been right, and so his voice grew quieter.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

They must have understood his words, because Blake suddenly looked just left, near the side of the school wall. No one stood there.

No one tangible, anyway.

While Blake didn't actually see anything himself, he could feel it. He never knew if it was a strange distortion, a tiny amalgamation of heat and electricity, or just something in the wind, but he sensed an invisible presence here. Based on what he felt, he could almost see the entity before him: a humanoid figure, a small male, clutching the school wall. Blake let out a sigh.

"Sorry, kid. Not sure how you went, but I hope you're not in pain anymore."

Just as he could not see the spectre, he could also not hear a voice. Blake could, though, sense the emotions coming off the spirit in waves. Literal waves. A small tightness came over his chest as though his lungs struggled for a breath of air. The discomfort was accompanied by a sense of cold, fear, and longing; the overall impression was easy enough to dissect, and Blake closed his eyes. He focused on the residual uncertainty and fear for a few moments longer.

"It was an accident. They couldn't have known." Blake looked around a bit, getting a feel for the directions. Finally, he pointed northeast. "You should go that way. You'll find it before long, I promise. And I bet if you wait you'll find your family there. You should be able to rest then."

Some of the fear subsided. The uncertainty too had faded a little, replaced by a slight but warm feeling of trust. Blake could feel some of the relaxation emanating from the spectre, and in mere moments the presence had vanished. No more weird feelings, no more strong emotions. As he rushed back into school, Blake pondered over the conversation earlier with his friends, and what just transpired now.

[brandedsalad]

Character Bio - Cain Thornblade Cain emerged from the Pale Tree with a strong conviction to be a protector. This need to protect others, as well as his innate abilities for fighting, made him quickly gain a place within the Wardens of the grove and become the right hand man of the captain of his squad.

A few months after he started his duty, the news of a sapling with a Wyld Hunt of fighting the elder dragons emerged. The Pale Tree, hearing of the great deeds Cain’s group had accomplished, and how fast he had grown as a fighter, tasked his group with training the sapling and prepare her for her quest.

This newborn sylvari, who’s attitude was chipper and full of curiosity, was a heavy contrast with Cain’s determination and seriousness. Surprisingly, this contrast of emotions made them both grow from each other. While Cain taught the young valiant how to defend herself and how to prepare before heading on, she taught him about he had to keep in touch with his emotions instead of repressing them, and how there are many other solutions besides fighting. He eventually had to admit he had come to care deeply for her. 

These happy times would not last however. During one routine patrol around the Ventry Bay with the valiant, a group of inquest and nightmare court ambushed them. Despite the odds, the group fought with all their conviction, losing almost half the squad in the fight. 

It was when the captain was shot and mortally wounded that they had to surrender. After being chained, they were immediately transported to an inquest facility for experimenting. 

To say his experience in the labs was torturous was short from describing the horrible suffering he went through. Cain was unlucky enough to have Zhaitan’s magic fused into his veins, slowly rotting parts of his body as the experiments went on. It would be months before a group of wardens, led by the first born Trahearne, managed to find the lab and rescue them. Out of what was left of his squad, only he and the valiant managed to survive the imprisonment.

This experience deeply hardened Cain’s heart. After a few months of recovery, he came back to his duties as a warden, but hints of a more ruthless and unforgiving attitude began to show. He found immense power in his new necromantic abilities, and showed no mercy or kindness towards his enemies, especially the nightmare court and the inquest; he could never forgive them for the death of his friends and the suffering they made them go through.

The wardens were becoming worried about his new attitude, and it was when Cain suggested they use more deadly and reckless tactics to train the new sylvari and root out their enemies before they existed that a disagreement came through.

The Pale Tree, hearing this dispute, understood Cain’s pain, but agreed that his warden brethren were right and could not follow his ways, as it was against Ventari’s teachings. Cain, in his anger, decided that if the Grove would not help him, he’d have to follow his own way far from the grove and from the dream; starting his path as a soundless sylvari. 

He would go trough his life as a mercenary, doing what he needed to do for some coin and to fulfill his need of vengeance. Distancing himself, he became a loner, not keeping any close connections to anyone. 
His mind, however, would not make him stop thinking of the valiant he spent so much time with. Hearing stories of her deeds around Tyria, he finally decided to find and follow her, having a feeling that maybe she would be the one to understand his pain. 

Her soft, kind, and sweet attitude, however, gave him so many conflicting feelings; he felt himself soften more around her, but he couldn’t help being jealous of how she seemed to have overcome her pain and find someone to love and fight for; all while he wasn’t able to move past his own trauma. 

After the battle against Mordremoth, he decided to part ways and give her space. Returning to being a loner was better off for him than letting his own pain and resentment affect the only friend he had left, especially since she had just suffered the loss of the one she loved dearly.

He would still hear tales of her during his lone times however; how she managed to defeat the human god Balthazar, saving the populace of Elona from the lich king Joko’s tyranny, destroying the elder dragon Kralkatorrik, and even becoming the new prismatic dragon’s champion and ambassador. 

He was glad to hear she was doing well every time he walked and listened in a bar, but he could not help feel regret for the way he had left her in Maguuma. He was too scared to get emotionally close to her or anyone, keeping in the shadows and trying to forget his own mistakes and traumas in vice. 

However, with a new dragon threat rising from the north, and a civil war between the Charr emerging, it seemed that destiny would make their paths cross again…

[springalwayscomes]

Not even a gift

Plot: Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. But then you turned around, and well, that was a total different thing. The poor man couldn’t even stand beside you without embarassing himself or embarassing you, and evey time seems to get worse and worse and...worse. 

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Dancer AU, Fluff, Humor, Smut, One Shot

Wordcount: 30k

Content Warning: Jungkook can’t stop embarassing himself, swearing, sexual innuendo, sexual tension, awkard situations, masturbation, sexual fantasies, a lot - a lot - of fluff, Reader with stress issues, overwhelming parents, trust issues

A/N: I wrote this when I was just joining the fandom, last year for Kookie’s birthday. I remember wanting to pst this so badly but it stayed in my drafts because I wasn’t sure it was good enough and I was a little insecure about the ending. I told to myself that someday I’d rewrite a new ending and post this, but knowing myself and how I work with my writing, I know that that day will never come because even if did so, I’ll probably end up with not liking my style of writing anymore and editit all out, leave it like this or delate it. So I told myself that I’d rather prefer to publish it. cause at the end this story was incredibly funny to write - sometimes I would laugh all alone like an idiot while writing it - and to be honest I think it’s pretty good. It’s the very first fanfiction I wrote about BTS so it’s also very meaningful for me. For reasons as the ones I already mentioned I decided to not edit this, so you might find some grammatical errors, please understand that this was the first time I wrote something from scratch in english. If you’d like to read it in episodes I’m going to publish it on youtube as a series too, where you’ll be able to live the full experience of the story since there you can visualize it too, as for the story it’s exactly the same as here. Enjoy reading this one, I know you’ll have fun!

Watch the first episode on Youtube

Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. It wasn’t just fit and solid, it was the way you were moving it on the beat, making it look like something he’d die to touch, squeeze, hold.

That was the very first thing he noticed about you.

He couldn’t help but fantasize how you’re face would look, watching your back from the doorframe of the ballroom. He imagined you sweat, little drops forming on your forehead caused by the the movements. He tried to focus his attention on the other dancers, fixating his gaze on the girl beside you making the exact same moves as you, but something about your presence kept on calling him like you were a mermaid and he was a poor sailor.

His dark doe-eyes ended again on your body, being in the last row it was hard for him to find your reflection in the mirror, other bodies moving endlessly making him grimace. He was running out of time, the poor man got stuck in traffic on his way here, already twenty minutes late, and god knows why he stopped looking at you dancing.

He shook his head when even after the music stopped your back was still facing him, not that he minded, but he was really dying to know how your face would look like.

Someone must have been both incredibly hungry and in love with him, cause a second later, you were bending over, resting your elbows on your thighs and giving him an even more beautiful view of your ass while trying to catch your breath. 

Breath stuck in his lungs, Jungkook gulped hard, making his adam’s apple jump up and down.

The girl next to you said something that made you laugh, back invaded by the spasms of your laughter, something he couldn’t hear because of all the talking that was going on in the room. He wished he could. He imagined your voice, soft and sweet, and soon enough is mind was already wondering about your features.

Snorting and getting out of his trance, he remembered himself he had to practice. Ready to take the first step away from the ballroom which he didn’t belong to, he shook his head a second time and turned, ready to leave his thoughts about you in that room and never meet them again.

But a second song started. And this time, he recognized the beat. Holding his breath again, he faced the entrance with a speed that got him shocked by himself.

Your hips were moving again, slowly and sensually, hands drawing abstract shapes in the air, hair attached to your skin. Your sweat shorts were doing nothing to hide your skin from his dark eyes, all he could think about was the way it seemed to shine under the lights of the room and the way your sweat would make it look even more glowing.

He hissed through his teeth, trying to push away the though of his hands against your skin, the way he’d like to trace your thighs with his fingers, leave pecks against your body and mark your hips with his lips. He brought his gaze back on your ass, sinful eyes burning against your skin and jaw clenching, Jungkook licked his lips and watched you arch your back before bringing your left leg to your head, holding it with your hands as you tiptoed your right foot.

«How long have you been here?»

He literally jumped, locking his gaze with whoever gave him a heart attack. Standing beside him, looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes wide were Yoongi.

«I-»

«You know this is the wrong room, right?» he looked at him with a blank expression, trying to understand what Jungkook was actually doing standing at the doorframe of a different studio, without even caring about the fact he should be practicing with him and the others.

«I know, I was just... looking around.» he managed to let out, before taking a deep breath and stepping towards Yoongi.

The moment he realized he was rocking a half-hard just by his previous sight, he clenched his jaw and gulped again. If Yoongi had already noticed his situation then he wouldn’t know cause his face was no longer on him, neck turned to peek into the room that stole the maknae’s attention before. The youngest one used that moment to bring his bag in front of him, and then headed to their dance class trying not to draw too much attention.

That was the first time he saw you.

Jungkook dropped his bag to the ground as soon as he entered his bedroom, removing his sneakers and his socks he headed to his bathroom in a matter of seconds, begging to feel the cold drops of water wash away all the sweat on his skin and the heat of his body, even though the last one wasn’t because of the workout.

His cock was aching, so damn hard and throbbing against his sweat pants.

He wished they finished their practice just a few seconds sooner. Dancing was a pain in the ass today, all he wanted to do was head back to your doorframe and peek at you, loose his gaze on your body, trying to steal a glance of your face.

But still, it didn’t happen. He couldn’t help but think about how’d you look during the three hours of rehearsals, he thought about it so much that now he had a clear image of you in his mind. And it was pretty platonic, almost inaccessible.

He removed his shirt and his pants, letting them fall on the ground, and then turned on the water, already hooking his fingers under the elastic band of his boxers. He was so hard that it ached.

Jungkook took a deep breath and palmed himself through the material, immediately hissing at the touch. Deciding it was not enough he let the cloth slowly fall to the ground, creating a wall around his ankles that he surpassed in a second getting in the shower.

He didn’t waste time on lathering, he just shut the glass door and closed his eyes while bringing his hand to his shaft. The fingertip of his thumb collected the precum leaking out of his slit, moving over his head and making him clench his jaw shut, breath already uneven.

He though about the way you moved your hips, he’d like to hold them tight and down on the bed while fucking into you. He’d take such a good care of you. He’d fuck you so good, making you whimper and moan every time he’d hit your g-spot, he’d squeeze your ass in his big hands, leaving marks as a reminder of his touch. He’d kiss your skin, he’d kiss your neck and he wouldn’t even mind tasting the sweat caused by your rehearsals today, but in his mind, that’d be caused by what you two are doing.

Jungkook groaned and stroked himself, bringing his hand now to his base and tightening his grip around his girth. Throbbing, pulsating cock begging to release all his seed.

His movements were firm and clear, his fist moving so fast that his wrist was hurting, head falling back, mouth agape and eyebrows knitted together. The sound of his movements blended with the clatter of the water, his shoulders raising from time to time because of the heavy breathing, hips bucking against his hand. He wished it was you, the only part he’d seen of you, he desperately wished he was fucking your ass, so, so hard he’d make you whine and cry in pleasure. He imagined the sounds you’d made, and even though he didn’t even know how your voice sounded or how you looked, he already knew that it’d be his new favorite sound.

«Fuck» he groaned, fucking his cock in his hand even harder, moving his hips and meeting his hand halfway. He bit his lower lip, flesh aching and almost bleeding under his teeth, bringing his free hand to his heavy balls and massaging them. His pace fastened even more if it’s possible, his hips were snapping so hard into his hand picturing your ass in its place, he was so close he could taste it. He pictured your body bent over his bed, taking him so nicely, moaning out loud and clenching around his greedy cock, so needy and so damn wet for him.

«God, fuck» he growled, shoving fast into his hand. He wished he knew your face, he’d like to picture you taking his big cock in your lips. He already know they’d look so damn beautiful around his girth, gagging and drooling for him, he’d hold your head still and fuck himself into your pretty lips so good, letting you eat all of his seed.

That, that was what brung him to his apex. Abs contracting and rough breath, muscles tightening and eyes squinting, lips open letting out low groans.

«Fucking hell»

Hot white spatters stained his hand and chest as he rode his orgasm, keep shoving himself into his hand. The water washed away his seed, it disappeared so fast he didn’t even see it, and when he opened his eyes he took some time to catch his breath leaning against the wall behind him.

His mind went blank, for just a little. He couldn’t think of anything else than the idyllic orgasm he just had, just the thought of it made his cheeks flash red.

Then, the thoughts hit him. He didn’t even know your name, and here he was, masturbating over you. He was going to change that.

The second time Jungkook saw you he did  not rush out of his house thirty minutes earlier than he was supposed to. He couldn’t help but ask to himself what was going on with him, he certainly knew he never felt the need to see someone he didn’t even know. God, you didn’t even noticed him. Standing at the doorframe of your rehearsals room, looking at you move your body in such a charming way he swore he never see someone dance like that. Why were you in the last row? You deserved to be in the first one, that wasn’t fair. But, in that way he couldn’t see you, so he stored the information at the back of his mind. When you stopped your movements and you suddenly disappeared into the crowd, he again remembered to himself that he didn’t even know what he was doing.

Come on, was he really going to stand there for about other ten minutes and watch  you dance without doing nothing? He desperately wanted to know how your face looked, by now he could say he had a perfect picture of you in his head. And if he was right, you were probably the best thing he ever seen. 

Just the thought made him lick his lips, taking a deep nervous breath. He needed to talk to you. But what would he say? “Hi, I’ve been watching you dance”? Ew, definitely no. He tried to come up with other possibilities but his mind was totally blank, panic making his way through his thoughts and taking every part of him, leaving him only with sweaty hands and an adam’s apple gulping in his throat.

«Jungkook»

A voice made him turn, his gaze suddenly traveled to his right side.

«Oh, hey» he blurted out, Taehyung was staring at him with an arched eyebrow and inquisitive eyes.

«What were you doing?» the oldest one got closer, his hands in his pockets and a slight smile forming on his lips. Jungkook shook his head.

«Mh- I- waiting» he stuttered. His friend knitted his eyebrows looking at him for just a few seconds, then his gaze met the ballroom in front of them, where Jungkook’s was again scanning bodies, trying to find yours.

«Are you looking for someone?» Teahyung asked, receiving just a shake with his head from the youngest. But he knew better than that, he knew Jungkook well, maybe too much, he couldn’t even try to hide something from him.

When his eyes finally found you again, Teahyung knew it was you, he could just tell by the way he opened his lips, forming a little “oh”, his eyes never leaving your body.

«So you were waiting, uh?» he scoffed.

«Yes?» the maknae wanted to punch himself in the face, that was not supposed to come out as a question.

«Do you know her name?» Taehyung asked. He turned away in the blink of an eye, staring at him with wide eyes. It took him a few seconds to understand he’s been caught, but eventually he decided to just sigh and shake his head again. «Well, I know it» he shrugged like he had just said nothing. Jungkook looked at him with an unreadable expression, trying to understand if what he just heard was real or if he just imagined it. He studied Taehyung’s face like he was some kind of poem, carefully and thoughtfully, wisely looking for a hint to tell him he was just playing with him, but he really seemed serious.

«I can introduce her to you?» he turned to look at him, the youngest was playing with his fingers, eyes staring at the floor, all of his confidence seemed to fade away.

«Why?» he asked.

«What do you mean why?» Taehyung almost laughed at the maknae’s words, and he almost felt guilty. Almost.

«I- I don’t know...» he sighed. Why was he even acting like this? He wanted to talk to you, desperately wanted to know how your face looked like, his imagination was sending him crazy. How did he even ended up like this? He just saw you dance and his mind wasn’t his anymore, constantly wondering about your face. There was just something about you that was making him insanely curious.

«Oh, come on!» unexpectedly, the hyung grabbed him by his arm, making him almost loose his balance while dragging him into the room, taking big steps towards you. No one seemed to notice what was happening externally or inside of Jungkook, heart beating a mad pace, slippy hands like he just dipped them in the water, mind shocked and freaking out attempting to find anything, literally anything that could’ve helped him. Anything would’ve been good, anything for saving him from who knows what his mind was thinking, neither he could understand himself. He never felt more afraid to speak to someone in his life, he swore. Why was he even freaking out? He couldn’t find an answer in those few seconds that divided you from him, and he ended up behind you sooner than he realized. His body instantly tensed.

Teahyung, like the amazing friend he was, tapped your right shoulder, making sure to keep his grip tight on Jungkook’s arm, afraid he would’ve run away at the first opportunity. And he would’ve.

«Yes?» turning, you met the hyung gaze, two deep dark eyes staring at you, breath held in his throat. Damn, you were beautiful.

Oh, God.

That was the first thought that passed Jungkook’s mind when he finally saw your face, all of his fantasies immediately falling to the ground, breaking into a million pieces. He didn’t even know someone that beautiful could exist. His eyes staring at your face like some kind of piece of art. He definitely did not expect you to look like this, he did not see it coming. He thought you were beautiful, but God, not like this.

«Bye» that was the first and last word Taehyung blurted out, finally releasing Jungkook’s arm. Then, he simply walked away, like he did not just leave you two alone, like nothing. You raised your eyebrows, stunned by what just happened looking at the man head to the door and then simply disappear in the hallway. When you realized you were left with someone you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable, shifting your gaze from the corridor to the man in front of you.

In that moment, Jungkook’s heart started beating even faster, if that was possible. His dark doe-eyes stared into yours for a few moments, not even blinking, mouth agape and breath caught in his throat. He looked like he just saw something... something really-

«Am I that ugly?» you blurted out.

When he realized you were actually talking to him, he felt the need to hide, run away, he wanted the earth to open under his feet and engulf him in. His cheeks flashed red, eyes finally starting to blink.

«No I-» his throat was dry, so he swallowed hard and tried to get a little bit of his nerve back.

«I-I just didn’t expect you to be like t-this»

What? Now he really wanted to hide, what the hell was he thinking? Nothing, his mind was totally blank. He didn’t even remember how to create an actually real sentence.

«Sorry?» you asked. Only then, he realized how your voice sounded, definitely lower than he thought. And he loved it.

«Uh- Oh God. I’m sorry»

And that was it, the end of your first conversation. Jungkook looked at your face for just a second more, than his legs did the job for him, he wasn’t even thinking straight, mind totally blown away and panic invading every rational part of him. He simply turned and started running away, disappearing in the hallway just like his friend did a matter of seconds before.

You grimaced, left standing in the rehearsals room, eyes following his tall and muscled figure until you were left with nothing but confusion.

What had just happened?

That was the second time Jungkook saw you.

He was drawing again, eyes fixated on the sheet in front of him, colors over colors over colors, sketches and shapes that apparently didn’t have any meaning. It was just a mess, overlapped lines with circles and circles with blurred shapes that he didn’t even know could exist.

He was desperately trying to take his mind off of what he had done, but it didn’t seem to work.

Probably, he was just taking everything too much to heart, and he knew that. He knew he was making a big deal of something stupid but he couldn’t help the way he was feeling.

Why did he have to act like that? Why did he walk away in that way? You possibly thought he was just some jerk playing around, and only that thought made him clench his jaw. But that was his last problem. Not only he did made you think he was an idiot, but he made you feel uncomfortable without even trying. The words you said and the sound of your voice kept on echoing in his mind like one of those stupid songs you can’t seem to send away.

Were you joking? Probably? Did he really made you think he was looking at you in that way cause you were ugly? God, you were way too far from that for him.

And above all of that, why did he even say something like that?

“I didn’t expect you to be like this”, God, what was he thinking about? And what did you think of that stupid sentence? Jungkook let out a low groan, the thoughts invading his head were making it impossible to focus on the drawing.

What the hell did Taehyung do? He said he was going introduce you to him, why did he left like that?

When Jungkook entered their rehearsal room the hyung simply smiled at him and winked in his way, like he had just made some kind of magic happen between you too. Well, it didn’t happen. Everything was just a fucking mess, and the biggest thing heaving on Jungkook’s shoulders was that that was the first time you ever saw him, the first impression you had about him. Now it was gonna be three times harder for him to even talk to you, let alone make a move on you. Jungkook didn’t even answer Tae’s wink, only wanting to end the rehearsals already and go straight home to drown into sleep. But it was late, and he certainly wasn’t sleeping.

Jungkook huffed letting his pencil hit the wooden table.

Was he going to try to change what happened or was he going to leave everything like that? Sure as hell, he wanted to know you. But he just couldn’t help himself, he never felt more frightened in his life to talk to a girl as now, and that feeling made him feel helplessly under pressure. What was he even going to say if every time he opened his mouth, all that was coming out were awkward words? Your face added to the sound of your voice made him look like a poor moron, and he knew deep inside of him that that was your effect on him. It was going to happen again, he knew it. He needed to find a way to not ridicule himself and not make you uncomfortable every time he opened his mouth.

«What?» Yoongi’s eyes have never been wider than now looking at Jungkook. Now, the maknae was desperately looking for advices, and he knew that Jimin and Yoongi were the right persons for this kind of situation.

«You really did that?» Jimin let his mouth hang open, eyebrows raised.

«Yes» Jungkook sighed «I don’t know what’s wrong with me, God.» Yoongi and Jimin looked at each other, both of their expressions stuttered by what the youngest had just told them. «How can I fix this? I mean I-»

«First, stop dwelling.» Yoongi interrupted his endless rambling, firm tone and eyes pointing directly in his. Jimin nodded. «You’re thinking too much. I mean, do you even think she noticed all of this? Are there any chances she probably already forgot your face?» his words made the maknae feel better for just a bunch of seconds. Maybe you already forgot him. It was a good thing, right?

«You think so?» why did he sound disappointed? Yoongi raised his eyebrows and nodded.

«And if she remembers you, all you need to do is go and talk to her, you can fix this Kookie» Jimin smiled at his friend.

«And say what?» his voice came out louder than he thought, almost breaking in the middle. He was just not that positive. He messed up, and there was something inside him telling him that that was not goin to be the last time.

«Anything?» Jimin made it seem so simple «I mean, anything is better than what you said» he added. Jungkook shook his head. «Sitting here is not gonna fix this» he said again, then taking a sip from his hot coffee.

«I can’t-» his voice suddenly stopped working, his throat holding the words in. His eyes shifted from the wall he was staring to to you, walking into the cafe on your high heels, jeans sticking to your legs like they were handmade just for you, a little bit of messy hair because of the wind running through the streets of the city, hanging from your shoulders. Eyes moving into the cafe like you were desperately looking for something, maybe someone.

«What? It’s her?» Jimin whispered, slightly stretching on the table to get the maknae’s attention. Yoongi simply avoided asking, he knew he wasn’t going to get any answer. So he just turned around looking for your figure in the crowded little shop. When he finally found you, he knew it was you. He had already saw you the other day, and he saw Jungkook’s pants too, but he kept it to himself.

Smirking, he stood up, eventually bringing back Jungkook from his own world. He watched his friend take long steps and cross the room, and his hands started to sweat again, even more than the day before. Yoongi surpassed you just a step before you were in line for the bar, almost making you step on him.

Rude.

Jungkook could already feel himself going crazy, him and Jimin staring at the scene in silence dying to know what Yoongi had in mind. He saw you stretch over his shoulder trying to take a look at the pastry, in the meantime Yoongi stepped towards when another client left the line. Time seemed to slow down for how much it was taking for every single client to order, Jungkook’s agitation growing bigger every second.

When Yoongi’s turn arrived he still couldn’t understand what was going to happen, watching him through the crowd and shifting his gaze from him to you from time to time was definitely not working. He caught Yoongi talking to the employee and a second later he was paying and turning around with who the hell knows what in his big paper cup. Keeping his eyes on the floor and faking distraction, he stepped on your foot and when he raised his head all he did was giving you a shocked look.

Then he did it, making the maknae line wide their eyes like they were four lighthouses, Jungkook literally hold his breath for what it seemed to be like years. His drink was on your clothes, soaking you, your drenched black shirt dripping on the floor. Your face shattered when you realized you were actually soggy, Yoongi gave you an apologetic smile and then he walked out of the cafe as if nothing had just happened. He really hoped Jungkook would understand it was his turn. Well, again, he didn’t. He just stared at you, your face still in shock and your moth forming the shape of an “o”, people surpassing you on the line without even glancing at you. Jimin shook him awake from his trance making him grimace and pushing him from his chair.

«Go, go, go!» he silently screamed moving his hands in the air. “Oh, lord” was all he could think while looking at you standing still and a scared Jungkook walking uncertain.

You stepped to the side when you noticed people kept on surpassing you giving you upset looks since you wouldn’t move from the line, it only took you a few steps to the side to rush into someone. Your shoulder hit his chest and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. It was just not your day.

«I- I’m sorry?» the voice came from beside you, the man standing still against your right shoulder without even moving. What was supposed to be a statement came out as a question and Jungkook wanted to punch himself again. You had to back away to create a little bit of distance before lifting your gaze to him.

When you saw him, it took you nothing to remember him.

«You? Again?» you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You were not this rude usually, you just weren’t that type. But today definitely wasn’t your day. First, someone surpassed you, you just said nothing because you weren’t the type to argue for something so stupid, you even justified him thinking maybe he didn’t notice you. Then he spilled his tea on you, and without even helping you he just ran off as if nothing had happened. Now, him. Was this some kind of joke?

Jungkook couldn’t help but frown at your words, silently and slowly making their way through his body until they reached his intestine and tangled every part of his guts together.

«I- I’m sorry?» he said again. What? You locked eyes with him, cocking a brow at him.

«What are you even sorry for?» you sighed, bending over the table in front of you and grabbing a tissue from the plastic container. He brought his gaze to his friend, eyes still wide and throat completely dried. Jimin showed him a thumb up and suddenly shifted his gaze, in a second he turned around with his cheeks now red. When Jungkook turned again he hissed through his teeth, you did not just caught them and you weren’t staring at him with an even more confused look.

«I- I can buy you some coffee?» he blurted out, his voice cracking in the middle of the question making it almost seem like a prayer. Your lips formed an “o” again, suddenly looking down at your clothes and rushing to clean them with that little tissue. You were just thankful it wasn’t hot, whatever thing it was. Jungkook stood there still like a rock, scared of moving and making everything even worse.

«No, but thank you.» you sighed at the sight of your drenched black shirt, drops on your jeans. What were you going to do now? You had to go to work in thirty minutes, you didn’t have time to go back home and change into something else, your boss was already going crazy with all the work he had to, his reaction at your delay wasn’t something you wanted to experience.

«Please?» Jungkook’s voice seemed to light something in you, lifting your eyes and locking them again with his. That was the moment you really noticed his beauty. And he was just that beautiful. In the meantime, he was really trying not to break out and scream, his tongue was just moving by itself. His mind was totally blank and his hands were so sweaty that they would probably as wet as the shirt you were wearing.

«I don’t have time for coffee now, but thank you.» you declined again, trying to bring a smile on your lips but failing. You sighed and turned, making your way out of the cafe in a matter of seconds. Jungkook stood there with his eyes still wide, watching you walk away and trying to catch just that little bit of air enough to make him survive. It was only when Jimin’s face appeared in front of him that he seemed to realize you weren’t there anymore, and in a second his legs made the work for him again, running out of the cafe like a mad man. What was he even doing? What the hell?

Jimin followed him rolling his eyes, all his hopes that his friend had made it hitting the ground. He had never seen Jungkook like that, not even when he dated that girl he had a crush on for a year. Jungkook had always been charming, he never had that much problems with a girl, there had been times he was more shy, but he had always found a way of breaking his barriers.

This time there was just something different.

When he saw you on the sidewalk his legs fastened even more and he only stopped when he was behind you, quickly grabbing at your wrist and turning you around in an abrupt yank that got Jimin to stuck on place and grimace. He even heard you squint from where he was, and he certainly didn’t miss the smack of your hand on his face once you turned and faced him.

Jungkook’s face heated up, suddenly loosening his grip on your skin and blinking a few times, staring into your eyes, his features unreadable. Silence suddenly seemed to fill the crowded street while you two looked at each other, your face looking regretful the second you realized it was him and not someone who was trying to steal your purse or rape you during full day.

Jungkook was at a loss of words, and when he realized now he had to say something, he panicked again.

«I’m sorry?» that was not happening again, he wanted to scream.

«You’re sorry?» you erupted like a volcano, your arm still in the air even thought his grip was no longer on it. Jungkook’s head slowly shook up and down, gulping harshly.

«What are you sorry for?» your question made him knit his eyebrows. Was it really so hard for him to form a real sentence? The answer was yes. His brain just didn’t seem to work.

«About the coffe?» now, he really wanted to scream and tear his hair out.

He had just scared you and hurt you and all he managed to say was “about the coffee”? What was that even supposed to mean?

«The coffee?» you narrowed your eyes at him, he brung his hand to the back of his neck scratching it.

«The drink?» he said again. For god sake.

«Uh?» you just couldn’t understand. What was he even trying to do? He was sorry? Everything was just so confusing, and if last night you thought just a little bit about what happened yesterday with him, you were sure this was going to be in your head for the rest of the day.

«The drink Yoongi spilled on you?» why was every single one of his sentences a question?

«Who is Yoongi?» you whined without even thinking, but then you grasped it. The rude man was someone he knew. Was something wrong with his friends? First that one yesterday, now this Yoongi.

«Yoongi is-» Jungkook seemed to realize what he had just done and he stopped talking, letting out a tremulous breath. He just told you he knew the man who basically ruined your day. Great job.

«So, are your friends all like this?» you didn’t even know what you were doing, but the stress was just too much to handle at that moment. The man stared at you again, eyes shifting to every feature of your face.

«Uh? Wha- what?» he babbled. Jungkook was loosing it. And Jimin could see it from a block away. He wished he could do something to help him, anything to save the situation, but he just couldn’t. What would he even say, anyway? “Sorry, he just likes you so much that he doesn’t even remember how a normal human acts”? That wasn’t going to work.

«Are you friend with this Yoongi?» you asked. Jungkook nodded slowly, almost uncertain of what he was doing.

«And the one from yesterday was also your friend?» you asked again. This time he frowned, making you narrow your eyes.

«Taehyung?» he wondered, confusion blinking in his eyes.

«I don’t know, maybe? Was it his name? The one that poked me and ran away?» you sighed.

«But he- Oh. I can’t-» Reality hit him, and he had to take a deep breath to stop his dwelling.

«What?»

«I’m- I’m sorry?» there he was again. Was he kidding you? Just when he seemed to know other words, they were there again.

«You already said it, even though it doesn’t seem like you are.» you were really going crazy. Late for work, drenched, without your breakfast and with a charming guy talking nonsense in front of you.

«I am» his voice came out louder than expected, making you unconsciously squint and ward off a little bit.

«Well, thank you, I guess?» you glanced at the sidewalk, then again bringing your gaze to his face. The way the light of the sun hit his eyes made yours stare deep into them, the black pupils and irises almost fading with each other, the little sparkles of the light reflecting in them made them seem like one of the darkest nights, but with the brightest stars you’ve ever seen.

Your mouth ran dry when your gaze met his lips, a soft glow making them look even more captivating, you wondered if he was wearing a lip balm, a part of your mind wondering how it’d taste.

«I’m gonna be late for work» you mumbled. Jungkook shook his head.

«Okay» What? Are you serious, Jungkook? Okay? He visually grimaced at his own words, and for god knows why the corners of your lips raised up just the slightest at his awkwardness.

«I should go now» you gave him a little gentle smile and then turned, finally heading to your car. You had just taken a few steps on the sidewalk across the street when you turned away and realized he was standing still, eyes still fixated on you, but he wasn’t alone anymore. Maybe a friend of his? You hoped he wouldn’t hit you in the head, given the others. You crossed the street again, walking back towards the man and glancing at the ground feeling your cheeks reddening under his sight. 

You stopped a few steps away from him, raising your head and finally facing him. «I’m sorry too» you said, slightly smiling. «You know, for the slap» his lips formed an “o” but he quickly managed to smile, for the first time. And lord, what a smile he had. You swore you never saw something that beautiful. Your breath got stuck in your throat, heart madly beating in your chest, threatening to come out. And you didn’t even noticed, but your smile became a real one, wide and shining with its own light and reaching your eyes. Jungkook’s heart skipped a few beats just at the sight, his legs shaking under his body and a sudden feeling of warmth invading his chest, it was like his guts were back in place.

A drop of rain hit your forehead and in that moment you realized you really had to go, rain wasn’t something you could deal with now, not with your already soaked shirt and your delay. So you just turned again and walked away.

That was the first time you and Jungkook actually spoke to each other, kind of, I guess you could say.

«Didn’t you two talk?» Yoongi asked running a hand in his blonde locks. There they were again, but this time, thankfully Jungkook would say, they were in his house. He really didn’t know how to handle another one of his friends’ mishaps in your presence, not that he would’ve met you anyway, but here he felt more comfortable. It was normal for them to meet at someone’s place on a Friday night, it’s something they’ve always been doing for a long time that now it was like a tradition. Every Friday they would met and talk, even though they’ve been seeing each other almost every day. And now, it was no difference. Or maybe just one. You. Jungkook wasn’t talking about how much he was excited to perform or how much he loved the new choreography, he was talking about how embarrassing that moment was. Wait, those moments. Thanks to Taehyung, Yoongi and himself, now he had collected a few moments that really made everything seem awkward.

«We did but...» he groaned «Why did you have to spill your drink on her?»

«For you to go help her?» Yoongi made it seem so simple.

«How could I have helped her with her soaked shirt? She had to go to work and you ruined her morning. And if it wasn’t enough now she knows I know you! And you!» Jungkook’s voice cracked in the middle while pointing his accusing index finger towards Yoongi and Taehyung.

«What? How?» Yoongi couldn’t believe his ears. He gave him a chance and he let it slip through his hands like it was a cool chunk of ice.

«He told her» Jimin got in the conversation briefly glancing at his youngest friend. Jungkook was really going crazy.

«And? What’s the end? Tell me you got her number?» Jin rested his forearms on his knees, waiting for an answer that just wasn’t meant to come out.

«You don’t even know her name, do you?» the maknae brung is gaze to Taehyung, his dark eyes almost seemed to surrender in front of all the mess of the situation. The friend sighed, guilt already invading his throat. When he pushed Jungkook in that situation, he thought he was gonna handle it, to him he just needed a little bit of motivation. He didn’t think it would’ve ended like this. He shook his head.

«Great.» Jungkook stood up, unreadable features and body tense.

«But at the end it was good, she smiled at you» Jimin helplessly tried to bring back a little bit of positivity.

«Yes, after I made everything uncomfortable and awkward. How am I even supposed to make a move after what happened? First Teahyung, then Yoongi. Then me!» he bursted out. «The first time was already hideous, but this? I hurt her, let her know that basically all my friends are weird and when she said “I’m gonna be late for work” my answer was “okay”. Who am I even kidding? I-»

«Oh, come on!» Joonie decided to open his mouth, his loud tone made Jungkook shut up, everyone now looking at him. «This is all in your head, Kookie. Stop it. You need to take a deep breath and face this in a different way. Clearly, shutting your mind off and letting your body do the work it’s not what you need.» he raised his eyebrows at him. Jungkook had started pacing, he really wanted to fix things, but every time it seemed to get worse and worse and worse and... worse.

«It’s so frustrating, I swear! It never happened to me, never. I can’t control it, my brain just doesn’t work when I’m with her» he groaned locking his dark locks in his fist and pulling a little.

«Oh, cheesy» Hobi wrinkled his nose receiving in exchange a death stare from Jungkook.

«So you don’t even know her name?» Jin seemed to realize his words only now, eyes wide and moth hanging open. Jungkook clenched his jaw before letting his body falling to the couch. Not even the soft material of the cushions seemed to make him feel better, not even the slightest.

«I don’t know her name» he answered, saying those words more to himself than to his hyung. All of this seemed so stupid.

«Then start from it. Give to this beautiful woman a beautiful name, you can’t keep rambling about someone for about an hour without even knowing their name.» Namjoon’s tone was firm, making its way through the maknae’s ears, his words seemed like playing with him. He was right, he didn’t even knew your name, how the hell was that possible? He had the biggest crush and didn’t know the basics.

What Jungkook didn’t know and never could imagine was that you were thinking about him in the same moment as he was talking about you to his friends. What happened that morning was still replaying in your mind like a short film, from the moment that Yoongi spilled what you figured out was tea on your clothes to the moment you headed to your car. There was something about that awkward meeting that you just couldn’t seem to shake off. That man was so awkward and charming at the same time that the match sounded both weird and interesting.

Still, you couldn’t hide your annoyance towards him that morning. You couldn’t quite discern if he was just playing with you or if there was a meaning behind his actions and words, I mean, he apologized for his friend so much but he didn’t really act different than him, he yanked you. And apparently without any meaning. He already apologized for Yoongi before, so why follow someone you don’t even know to do it again?

Remembering your slap against his cheek you unconsciously squint your eyes, drowning in the dark. You really wouldn’t have punched him if you knew it was him, but the moment you felt someone’s touch against your skin you panicked. Not that he didn’t deserve it, well, actually he didn’t, but you don’t usually punch people like that, you really thought someone wanted to steal your purse or rape you, You puffed.

You just wished to not bump into him or his friends again, or at least to not be the main character of their misfortunes again.

Summer was finally coming to an end, and with the end of a season comes the beginning of a new wardrobe, at least for you. You already had clothes for the imminent autumn but with all the money you had saved you could squander a little bit and reward yourself, you worked hard and didn’t even leave for the holidays this year, sad but true. So now you were lowly humming in the street without even realizing it, the music invading all of your senses, the melody taking control of your body like it was made of a thin sheet of glass that could be broken anytime with the slightest pressure.

You entered the shop and removed an earphone, slowly making your way through the crowd and getting ready to buy something as a reward for all of your sacrifices. The sight of the soft fabric of a white dress made your eyes sparkle and your feet started moving towards the mannequin like they were apart from your body, bringing your hand to the cloth you touched the smooth material.

There was no way you were not buying it.

The shape seemed perfect for your body, you could already see yourself wearing it so you were quick to cross the room, ready to grab your hanger. Apparently, not quick enough, but you didn’t notice right away.

Looking through the dresses for your size made you frown, everyone of them either too big or too small. You were almost giving up when your gaze met the tag you were looking for, eyes widening and happiness already creeping up in your body.

Then, a hand came in the way. You watched it grab the crutch, dark ink marking the light golden skin, long fingers closing around the hook. Your breath got stuck in your throat and you really felt all your hopes falling to the ground now. Sure you were not gonna argue with whoever just took away your dream dress, you didn’t even have the right to do it, you should have been quicker before rather than staring at it with dreamy eyes. You were already starting to turn and look for something else with a knot in your throat but you couldn’t help your eyes and followed the arm of the stranger, the skin almost glowing under the light of the shop. You met two broad shoulders, the cleavage of the light shirt he was wearing showing his collar bones and making your fingers tingle at the sight, but if you knew who was waiting for you at the end of that neck you would have already ran away.

The previous night after his friends left Jungkook had spent at least three hours trying to find a way to make a third impression on you, if that was possible, this time preferably good, and he figured out nothing. Eventually he felt asleep all tensed and annoyed, remembering the next morning he had to buy something for Namjoon’s birthday coming in exactly two weeks.

When he woke up today and headed to the shop three blocks away from his house he did not expect to find you there. From the moment he saw you at least a hundred of different emotions had run through his body, starting from worship and ending up with panic, but this time his mind didn’t switch off, or maybe not at all. Listlessly choosing something for Namjoon, Jungkook came up with a plan, and it was apparently clear: buy you a dress and give it to you as both a present and an apology for everything that happened the day before, from Yoongi’s drink on you to the way he kept on making things awkward, and maybe finally ask you out.

So when he saw you staring at that dress with dreamy eyes he instantly walked towards its reproductions, sure as hell that now he had something to work with in his hands. But it was only when you approached the same counter as him that he realized he didn’t have any clue about your clothing size. I mean, he could have guessed it, but it wouldn’t have been the same. He was supposed to ask you and tell you something like “let me offer this to you for making up for yesterday’s mess” and “would you like to hang out sometimes?” but when he tried to speak his voice got stuck in his throat, his hands badly sweating. So he tried to understand what you were looking for, careful not to get caught, and possibly keeping it in mind for buying you something else, and it all worked until he saw your eyes full of that joyful light again. In that moment, his heart skipped a beat as he understood you had found what you wanted.

As I said, this time his brain didn’t stop working, he knew he couldn’t grab the dress practically from your hands, that would’ve been the worst third impression of all times. He just needed to remember the measures printed on that little tag and look for something else. He knew but his hands moved by themselves and Jungkook felt himself stiffening again.

When you locked eyes with him you couldn’t help but snort. What was going on with the universe? You were sure you didn’t do anything that bad to deserve this. And why was he involved in all of your misadventures? Him, him, him, him and him again, couldn’t at least the gods send someone else once in a while to punish you? The fact that it was him made the knot in your throat grow even bigger and you instantly felt a flame of anger burning in your chest. If he was someone else you would’ve probably let go, but not with him and not when he was holding the dress you wanted to buy after long days and late nights of work, stress and a little bit of panic too.

So you did the first thing that came to your mind, you grabbed at the hanger he was holding in his other hand and immediately walked away leaving him with his mouth agape and his gaze digging holes in your body.

You turned the corner and went straight to the changing room, desperately trying to keep yourself from bursting out in the middle of the shop. You closed the curtain behind you and finally took a look at what you were holding. A men’s hoodie. You were going to buy it, wether you liked it or not. Not a big deal, you already had men’s clothes in your wardrobe, right?

Taking a deep breath you sat on the little couch in the fitting room, you were really starting to think he was playing with you. That had to be it. He was just enjoying himself, having fun with making you feel like an idiot. Unintentionally, some tears streamed down you cheeks, all the accumulated stress from work and from the rehearsals you were having almost every day, all the sleepless nights you had in the last three months trying to save money, some days even working your ass off until the first lights of the morning would appear, all the times you felt like you didn’t belong; everything was coming out in the shape of little drops. You hadn’t been crying for a long time and stopping now seemed like light years away, so you got up and went out of the dressing room heading to the checkout without even glancing around.

Jungkook was still in the same place you had left him, and when he saw your cheeks sparkling just in time before you could wipe the tears away he knew it wasn’t because of the sweat this time. His heart broke, features screaming nothing but regret. If only you had turned around you would have seen it even from there.

But instead, you paid your new hoodie and went out, ready to burst out once again you’d be surrounded by the safe walls of your apartment.

«God, I can’t believe it» Jungkook groaned again for about the tenth time since the beginning of the phone call.

Jimin and Namjoon had been meticulously chosen for today’s vent, and this time he was sure he had something real to ramble on about, it wasn’t all in his head anymore. He had made you cry.

«It was the worst third impression of all times! My plan was good, damn, why do I have to be like this around her? Every single time, it happens every damn time» he hissed through his teeth. On the other line, Jimin was staring at his white ceiling with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed, trying to help his friend as best as he could, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Jungkook had to fix this, again. And Namjoon felt the same way as he took a sip of his coffee, his hair still messy from the long sleep he had just awakened from.

«I know you don’t need to hear it, but you’re the worst suitor on earth» he blurted out rubbing his face with his hands. «How can you expect to be more to her than an awkward weirdo if you can’t even talk or act normally in her presence? At least did you get her name?» Namjoon knew his words were doing nothing but emphasizing the horrible situation but he just couldn’t contain himself anymore. Jungkook didn’t need to be pitied, it would have led him nowhere. The maknae grunted in frustration. That was the only answer Joonie needed.

«Stop everything you’re doing» his words made Jungkook frown.

«What?»

«I said stop everything you’re doing» he repeated again, then taking another sip from his coffee. The youngest stared at the screen in disbelief.

«I am doing nothing!» his high-pitched tone made Jimin squint his eyes.

«Okay, then come to my place for lunch and bring that freaking dress with you» he ordered, now getting up and putting his mug in the sink.

«Can I-»

«Yes, Jimin, no need to ask» the hyung interrupted his friend already expecting his question.

«I’m gonna shower, but please be careful with that dress Kook» Namjoon’s tone softened and his words almost sounded like a prayer, Jungkook couldn’t help but glance at the piece of cloth laying on his couch with a worried face. That was not the right place for it.

«Okay, I got it, I got it» he said more to himself than to his friend.

«See you later» Namjoon got off the phone in a second, already on his way to the bathroom.

«Kookie, I know you can do it, okay? We can’t do more than what we are already doing, we can’t fix this for you, you have to fix it. But we’re here to support you.» Jimin’s words gave birth to a bittersweet smile on Jungkook’s face and he internally thanked God for his friends.

«Thank you Chimin»

They talked for another ten minutes before finally getting off the phone, Kookie’s eyes shifting again to what was supposed to be your dress now and shutting down.

He needed to fix this, again.

«So?» Jimin patted his fingers on the wooden table moving his gaze between his three friends. Unexpectedly Taehyung had knocked on Namjoon’s door just before they were about to sit down and have lunch with an expression that promised nothing but bad news.

«I wanted to buy you something for making up for what happened yesterday and the day before, but apparently I screwed up again. This is for you.» Jungkook repeated for the fourth time, then reached his hand out on the table, his chopsticks holding an amount of chicken noodles not even possible to put in his mouth. Namjoon opened his all of a sudden and gobbled them in just one gulp, making Jungkook frown.

«You just ate her dress!» Jimin bursted out laughing at the scene in front of his eyes, the corners wrinkling, his melodious laugh even took over Taehyng’s brooding face, the hyung smiled like a baby.

«I’m hungry and it was the third time he was doing that! He practically saw it coming!» he claimed, already taking with his chopsticks another amount of inhumanly impossible food to eat.

«You have yours!» the maknae tried to sound as serious as he could but his smile fooled him.

«Don’t bother me, I’m feeding you and giving you advices, this is the least you could do in return.» he mocked him with a new beaming smile on his face, Kook shook his head and took a bite of his meal.

«I think it could work?» Jimin brung the conversation back to where it was supposed to be, glancing at Tae and Joonie.

«Just try to stick to that» Taehyung said nodding «and don’t forget to breathe. And please, don’t panic again.» he added. Kookie nodded, this time had to be good. «You think you can do that?»

«I have to» he sighed, already feeling under pressure. Jimin and Namjoon smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

«Alright, now Taehyung could you tell us what’s wrong?» the hyung suddenly shifted his gaze to the other maknae seated next to Kook, who raised his eyebrows and shook his head faking a smile. «Come on, we can see it. Tell your favorite therapists what’s wrong and let us help you.» Jimin nodded at his words.

«Alright, I...» Taehyung took a deep breath, his long slender fingers ran through his hair and fisted a dark strand, slightly tugging it.

«Oh my God, this is so hard to say out loud» he groaned. Now, if there was a tiny possibility that they’re friends weren’t worried about him, his words certainly did their job.

«TaeTae, come on» Jimin widened his eyes.

«Alright. Do you all remember Gillyflower?» his words only brung more confusion to their faces. «The girl with pink hair?» he tried again, and this time a bunch of “ooh” and “yes” made him nod. He took another deep breath. 

«Well, I asked her out and she was about to answer when Tannie suddenly started barking and puling at the leash. I tried to mke him stop but he kept getting worse to the point he yanked me. I- I stumbled and trying to grab onto something I...» he harshly gulped, silence invaded the room.

«What did you do? It can’t be worse than what I did, right?» Jungkook’s doe-eyes were staring at his friend’s face trying to catch a hint of his actions.

«I don’t know, it’s the first time something like this awkward happens between of us, but it’s just...» he puffed letting his shoulders fall and then again shaking his head.

«What?» Namjoon were desperate to know now.

«I groped her breasts. But I was just trying to hold onto something and- Oh my God this is the worst thing I could have ever done» he groaned and hid his face behind his hands trying to cover his cheeks flashing red. Jungkook’s eyes considerably widened, Jimin’s lips formed the perfect shape of an “o” and Joonie shut his eyes , almost forgetting how to swallow. Almost.

«What did you do after that? Tell me you apologized, tell me you did it?» Chimin’s gaze was basically begging him.

«Of course I did, but I was still shocked and... I may have left my hands on her for too much time» his voice was muffled by his hands, still covering his reddish face.

«Oh, God» Jimin let out, tilting his head back. «What the hell is happening to us?» he whined, earning a death stare from Namjoon.

«You mean what the hell is happening to you? This things don’t happen to me, luckily.» he stated.

«Oh, please Joon, your face is dirty for all the eggs you have on it. You know you have your bag stuffed with blunders» Jimin whined again and Namjoon pointed his index towards him.

«That wasn’t supposed to come out!» he argued.

«It didn’t! But I’ll blurt out all of your secrets if you don’t admit you can be a weirdo too!» the hyung puffed.

«Please, everyone knows I’m an oddball, there’s no need to argue on that. But my blunders are far beneath theirs!» he pointed at Jungkook and Teahyung the youngest was now trying not burst out laughing for his high-pitched tone. Jimin groaned.

«What was her answer?» Jungkook asked, carefully looking at TaeTae. He gulped.

«She started laughing and I apologized myself again before entering home. I thought she was making fun of me but I realized it was an uncomfortable laugh just after I shut the door. Now every time I see her in the hallway I hide behind the corners and avoid her. She must think I’m an idiot.» Teahyung’s words made Jungkook feel slightly better, maybe it was selfish but he felt less lonely.

«You need to talk to her» Namjoon mumbled with his mouth stuffed of noodles.

«We’ll make up a speech for you too after lunch, alright?» Tae shook his head.

«No need for it, I can handle it. I think» he sighed for the hundredth time.

The Sunday that followed got Jungkook incredibly frustrated. In two days it was gonna be his birthday and he and his friends had all agreed to take a day off from the devastating rehearsals to celebrate it together, so now there he was,  meticulously watching his figure dancing in the mirror. He hadn’t slept well and his eyes were praying for just a bunch of minutes of rest, body already tired only after an hour of movement. When the music stopped he thanked Jin with a grateful smile before approaching the bench on the side of the room to grab his towel and gather his sweat.

«I think this-»

«Kookie!» Jimin shouted with his eyes wide, his voice echoed in every single corner of the room and in a second Jungkook realized why. He didn’t really do it, please.He let his hand fall at his side, and yes, there it was. Your dress in his hand, now moist and clammy.

His voice burst in the loudest tone he’ve ever used: «Who the hell pulled it out of my bag?!»

The group immediately got closer to take a look at what he was talking about, Namjoon and Taehyung held their breath when the maknae opened the folded cloth revealing the white peace of dressing he had carefully putted in his bag just in case he’d met you here, even though it was quite impossible being Sunday.

«Oh my God, I thought it was a towel and-» Jin started explain himself but got interrupted again by Jungkook’s low groan.

«I am screwed, I give up.» his chest swelled like a balloon and his shoulder raised almost to his ears just to heavily fall a second later. «If this isn’t fate then I don’t know what it is» he complained letting his body go limp after he seated on the bench. And as if what had just happened wasn’t enough his eyes caught your figure in the hallway, your body managing to move graciously on your high heels even though at a speed that seemed almost impossible for you not to fall, your hair swinging with every step.

«Bad luck?» Hobi kneeled in front of him and Jungkook scoffed, shifting his gaze on his muscled legs once you disappeared behind the corner, his dark locks creating a curtain to hide him from the rest of the world while he rested his elbows on his knees.

«Bad luck? This is a tragedy. And not just because of the dress. Everything I did until now is a tragedy. This is just the cherry on top of it all. Maybe this is just not meant to happen and that’s why I keep messing things up.» he grumbled with raspy voice. And he really believed that for a moment, maybe he was right. Everything, every single thing he had done so far had just messed things up more, even though he was desperately trying to do the opposite. He still didn’t know your name but had however already managed to made you feel uncomfortable, hurt you and made you cry. What a charming suitor he was. At this point he could’ve-

«If thinking about it like this makes you feel better.» Namjoon spoke with his gaze on the maknae. He licked his lips and waited for Kookie to raise his head, but it didn’t happen. «You don’t have the dress, who cares? It’s a peace of cloth, Kook. Your apologies are more important and you still have your speech. You can do it.» he kneeled in front of him beside Hobi, finally catching his gaze. What he didn’t expect was to actually find his eyes shining because of the stressed tears he was desperate to hold.

«He’s right, Kookie. Come on, you’re the golden maknae. And if it goes wrong we’ll have finally found something you’re not good at» Jin smiled at his youngest friend, his words made him lightly giggle, Yoongi nudged him.

«Just try again, okay?» Hobi smiled at him and Jungkook had to take a few moments for himself to finally answer.

Probably, no, wait, sure as hell the easiest thing was to give up. You already had a clear picture of him by now, there was no way you were changing your mind with just an apology. He had already apologized for at least five times the other day, and he had made you cry the day right after. So the possible answers now were two: yes or no. Such a big difference between them but such a thin line for him, especially now that he had lost the only thing that maybe would’ve helped him. He didn’t want lie to himself, he knew it was easier to give up and go back to being a normal acting human, not embarrassing himself anymore and feeling like an idiot all the time. But it was too easy like that, and just the thought made him frown. He couldn’t explain what it was to himself, but there was something about you that made him fatally, hopelessly curious. Since the very first moment he saw you, something turned on inside him, and I’m not just talking about his cock.

«Okay» he whispered to himself, the air of his breath fanning the golden skin of his hands. He took a deep breath and stood up.

«What?» Yoongi asked looking at him. Jungkook nodded.

«Okay, but you promise me you won’t do anything?» he pointed his finger against Yoongi’s face and then moved it back and forth pointing at everyone of them. When they all nodded Jungkook knew it was the moment to leave the room. 

Jimin pursued his lips when he saw him walking towards the door and quickly sided him. «Wait, you’re doing it now? Is she here? It’s Sunday!» he spoke so fast and his tone changed so many times that Kook turned to face him with an amused smile, almost forgetting about what he was about to do. «Do you remember the speech?» he asked again. When Kookie nodded and finally left the room Chimin stayed still with his gaze on him, acting like a mummy leaving her little child for the first time to the kindergarten.

«He can do it» Yoongi patted his shoulder.

You weren’t supposed to be there, not on a Sunday morning when all you wanted to do was drown in your bed and never let go of your sheets without the clock pointing at least at eleven. But you didn’t have any choice when you realized what day it was. It wasn’t just an usual Sunday, your family was coming at your place for lunch in about two hours from now, and you had promised them to cook something special, or at least to try your best. You were already feeling under pressure and your parents weren’t exactly the definition of easy-going people, always ready to judge everything you would do and every step you’d take. No wonder why you’ve grown to be their total opposite, never daring to judge anyone, and you knew they hated it. But you didn’t care and kept doing your thing, without worrying too much. Luckily, distance had made everything so much easier, until this kind of moments. The stress was running through your blood like it was part of your body, you were practically on the edge. You really didn’t want to hear them complaining about your stupid passion and how you should stop chasing your dreams just to find an even more steady job than the one you already had, so you had quickly decided to bring your gym bag here. You had grabbed everything you could find in your house that could have led their thoughts to your athletic side and just stuffed all in the bag now hanging from your shoulder, from your pointe shoes to your sweat shorts.

The lockers were safe and you knew it because you had already done this at least five or six times, so you simply opened the steel door and placed your bag in it with loose motions before shutting it and locking it with you keys. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The stress of your job, the rehearsals, all the money you wanted to save to buy your house and what happened in the last days were hovering on your mind so much that you knew you would have bursted out if you had to worry about your parents too. So this was the easiest way.

Heading to the door you fastened you pace until you got out, the sun made your skin burn and you harshly puffed, already wishing the winter to come.

At the same time, Jungkook was looking for you in the whole building, he even took the stairs and went to second floor once he figured out you weren’t in your usual rehearsal room. He thought you’d be in the changing rooms but he couldn’t afford himself to the risk of finding you half naked, even though the picture of you he had in mind was making his mouth drier every second more while taking the stairs again. It was when he distractedly looked out of the window that he saw you crossing the street. His feet never ran faster than that moment, praying for you to stay on the main street so that he’d found you more easily. He crossed the hallway and made his friend’s heads turn when he rushed in front of their door, that stupid speech replaying in his head over and over again like a prayer.

«Oh man» Namjoon covered his eyes with his right hand at the sight.

Once the maknae was out of the building he welcomed the light of the sun by squinting his eyes, his already sweating body heated up even more while desperately trying to get to you. The street was not that crowded at this time of the morning with the sun almost at his highest spot and the hot breeze threatening whoever was out, so he thought he could make it. Then, he saw you stopping on the sidewalk. Maybe you noticed him? Impossible.

A second later you were opening the door of a taxi and he didn’t know if rather laugh about his bad luck or cry. He could’ve just let go and talk to you the next day, you were definitely going to rehearsal on Monday, or maybe even on Tuesday. But it’s Jungkook we’re talking about, and by now we all know a part of his brain seemed to switch off when it comes to you. Or maybe this time, it turned on. The stress he felt those days had built up so much that he just wanted to burst out once and for all. He was tired of dwelling about his clumsiness and weirdness when he was beside you and didn’t want to feel guilty for making you feel uncomfortable anymore. So he sped up, his legs almost gave in for the big gap he wanted to close in a matter of seconds. 

But he made it. He knocked at your window with his fist, hands sweating and chest raising desperately gasping for air. When you turned and squinted your eyes because of the light of the sun he again swore he had never seen something, someone that beautiful in his life, the rays of sunshine painting little sparkling stars in your pupils and your skin gleaming.

You knitted your eyebrows at the sight, the charming but odd man staring at you as if he had just seen who knows what. What did he want now? You didn’t have time for his teasing, not with all of the things you had to do before the hurricane that your parents were would show up and take over you for the next hours.

«Please» he managed to say, or at least he mouthed it, and a part of him thanked your shut window for not giving him away, but just a little part. If hearing the lack of his voice would’ve made you listen then he would’ve talked with his hands.

With everything he did he was not really expecting you to listen to him, not when he was making things awkward once again, not in this situation. He was hoping it with all of his heart, but he knew it was not going to happen. Indeed, it didn’t happen.

The taxi started and you fixated your gaze on the street without a second thought, already brushing away the weird feeling that his gaze made you feel. You checked your phone screen: 11.34. Great. You were praying every god in heaven to save you from your parents’ likely early arrive when a thump made you both frown and hit the backrest with your head harshly enough to wince. You realized your taxi just hit the one in front of him in a second. Someone was definitely mad at you.

That was Jungkook’s moment. He widened his eyes at the sight and rushed on the sidewalk before he quickly approached your cab. His heart was beating so fast that for a moment he feared for his life. He opened your door without a second thought, you were hissing through your breath, eyes shut and pursued lips. While he took in the sight you felt a gentle hot breeze on your skin. Opening your eyes you gasped when you saw him standing there. Definitely really, really mad.

«I can’t do this» you bursted out loud, more to yourself than to the men that now were both staring at you.

«It’ll only take ten minutes» the cab driver gently smiled at you. The poor man then brung his gaze to the other standing at your door, holding it so tight with his hand that his knuckles were white. You tried to fake a smile as best as you could.

«I’m sorry but I’m running out of time, I’m gonna make it on foot.» you claimed. Before waiting for any answer you shifted your gaze back to the man who was blocking you into the car, his body stiff and not giving you hits of movement. You waited for something, anything, but he just kept staring at you making you feel like a fish out of water and you didn’t have time to deal with his awkward behavior now, you were really late. So you stood up anyway, almost stepping on his toes, and you held your breath while making your way through his body and the car. The way he kept his dark doe-eyes into yours without any sign of backing off made you shiver.

Jungkook harshly gulped when your body slightly touched his, his skin tickled at the feeling, the lightest of touches creating the strongest of the addictions. «I- I can give you a- a ride?» he stuttered, finally removing his hands from the door of the car. You started walking without even turning at his words, too much overwhelmed by the awful morning you were having. Kook was staring at you still in the same place as before, mouth agape and eyes sparkling at the way you were moving your hips, but when he realized you were already on the sidewalk he forced himself to follow you.

«I’ll give you a ride?» why did he keep doing that? That was supposed to sound more sure, more like a statement maybe? You snorted.

«Please, stop it» his presence beside made you even more nervous, what did he want? Why was he doing that again?

«I- I can drive, I can ride you-» what the hell was that? God, he kept making things worse without even trying. Your face immediately shot up, eyebrows knitted together and blood boiling in your veins.

«What I meant is-» he stopped talking again, his feet did the same and for a moment he considered letting you walk away and just give up. With how fast you were walking you were already disappearing into the crowd. But he sided you again.

«Look, I don’t have time for your teasing now, you can do it tomorrow.» you didn’t need to shift your gaze from the sidewalk to know that he was again there.

«What? I- No, I want to do it now!»

Did he really said that? Turn on your damn brain, Jungkook.

You rolled your eyes. «I can’t belie-»

«Can I just give you a ride?» he suddenly blocked your way with his body, arms outstretched and dark eyes praying yours. «Not in that way» he added, desperately trying to fix his stupid mistakes.

You couldn’t understand what the hell he was doing, standing there in front of you, in the middle of the crowd, praying to give you a ride after everything that he had done in just... three times you met? 

«No.» you shook your head and quickly got over him. «In both ways» you added, slightly smirking at yourself for your words. Jungkook sneered too, following you again like a puppy.

«You’d get there faster, please. Just- just a ride?» his continue pleads made you whine and stopping your steps you turned to face him, realizing just now how much he was taller than you.

«I don’t even know your name» you stated, ready to claim your victory. Jungkook let his mouth fall agape while looking at you standing so close to him, not that it was that close, but the rays of the sun were making everything too much to handle for him.

«Jeon Jun- Jungkook?» he managed to say, to ask, voice cracking in the middle.

«You don’t sound so sure of that» strangely, you smirked. Jungkook’s heart almost stopped right there and then.

«I’m Jungkook» he repeated trying as best as he could to smile without showing his nerves on the edge. You took in the sight squinting your eyes at him.

«Okay, Jungkook. I still don’t know you, so the answer is still no» you smiled at him and were about to start walking again but he got in the way a second time. His brain panicked again when he realized he had to say something now, eyes widened and throat dry. Mind blank, totally blank.

«I wanted to buy you something for making up for what happened yesterday and the day before- oh, shit not yesterday. I mean, yesterday and the day before but the day before that too.» he lowly groaned and shut his eyes, already feeling his face heating up. He watched your features change from annoyance to curiosity and then slightly smirking, but he couldn’t quite define if you were just having fun seeing him struggle or if you were actually smiling for his words.

You can do this, Jungkook. You can do this. Just go on.

«Apparently I screwed up again. This is for you.» the only sentence he wasn’t supposed to say came out like it had its own life and the maknae’s eyes widened even more while staring at your unreadable expression.

«So?» you asked folding your arms.

«I- i can’t- oh God» Jungkook wanted the earth to swallow him in. The embarrassment was eating him alive. «I can’t give it to you» he blurted out without even trying anymore to contain his voice.

«Jungkook, I really, really, don’t have the time to deal with this now. My parents are coming over for lunch and I still have to cook, they’re gonna start a-» you started blabbering but stopped when you figured out you were saying too much. «I don’t have time.»

«I can cook.» he claimed «I can cook, I’m- I’m good at it and I’m fast» His face has never been more red than in that moment, not even when he asked her first crush ever out. Never than when he was with you.

«What are you trying to say?» you sighed, again checking your phone, the bold characters of the time made you whine.

«I can- help you with the lunch?» he tried again.«You can trust me. I swear- my friend is a chef. He-»

«Are you serious?» you interrupted his endless speech with a hint in your voice that neither the both of you quite get. Your question didn’t sound like an annoyed one, it sounded more like... Surprised? Kinda. Desperate? Oh, hell yes.

Jungkook nodded, and in a second your wheels brain worked like crazy. It was almost 12.00 and you knew that your parents wouldn’t arrive at the established time, they were probably already in the car looking forward to the moment you were going to open the door and ready to start complaining about how late you were for everything, how your life wasn’t good for you, how you should’ve been more like them. No, you weren’t playing they’re game, not today.

Going to your apartment now would’ve meant arrive in twenty minutes, then you had to make sure everything was in place and absolutely remember to lock your bedroom, your mother had this weird habit to always pry and snoop in your drawers as if you were still a teenager, you hated it. You had to cook and set the table too.

Oh, lord. You couldn’t believe you were really thinking about this.

«I’m Y/N» you sighed, locking eyes with Jungkook. The information you had just given him seemed to make his features even more shocked. 

Y/N, he repeated to himself, finally having a name for your breathtaking face. You had really told him? After all he had done so far?

«Are you really serious? Cause please, I don’t really have time for your teasing.» now it was you the one almost begging.

Jungkook’s eyes widened so much that they almost fell out as he forced himself to nod. «Yes, I- I’m serious. I can help you?» his voice was shaking.

«If you promise your friend won’t set fire to my kitchen?»

Jungkook’s features lost all their hope in a blink hearing your words. He really thought you were letting him in your place to help you considering all the awkwardness between you two? Well, he hoped it. It would’ve been a good way to prove you he wasn’t a jerk and maybe get to know you a little better. It wasn’t fair to be that much head over heels for someone you don’t even know. But that thought vanished in an instant. It took him a few seconds to understand he had to call Jin.

Please, please. He hoped the rehearsals were over and that he had already taken a shower.

«I promise, I swear he won’t do it» Jungkook’s sweaty hands went in his pockets and grabbed the phone. «I- I’ll call him»

You let yourself sigh when he brung the phone to his ear. This was all too overwhelming, the nervousness was eating you alive and the fact that now you had to worry about his friend too made you hold another sigh. Please, tell me he’s not teasing me again. This was your prayer, the words echoing through your mind like a mantra while the man talked to his phone taking a few steps to distance himself from you.

«Jin, please. You own me this for the dress. And I promise I- I will do whatever you want me to do. Just, please do this for me» he prayed lowering his voice and staring at you.

«You’re lucky I just changed. Alright.» Jin nodded on the other side of the line, everyone was staring at him waiting to know what happened.

«Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you» 

«I know, how can’t someone love me?» he scoffed «Where are you?»

«A few block away from the studio, in front of the crossroad, but please hurry up. Really, she’s running out of time»

«Alright, alright. I’m on my way. Don’t say or do awkward things.» that was the last sentence he left him with.

Jungkook stared at you for a little bit before putting his phone back in his pockets, studying the way you were biting your lips and snorting from time to time, fingers playing with each other in nervous movements. He couldn’t help but ask himself why you were so nervous. Your parents were coming over, shouldn’t you be happy to spend some time with your family?

You were desperate, totally overwhelmed from your parents’s judgement, still thinking about their faces when they would see you hired a chief just for a stupid lunch. “Couldn’t you do this on your own?”, “This is ridiculous.”, their voices were already playing in your mind.

You turned to look at Jungkook, his gaze immediately leaving your face and his cheeks flashing red. You approached him in a second.

«He’s coming» he let out a deep breath, and so did you. You didn’t have to worry about lunch anymore, thanks God. «I- why... Can I ask you why are you so nerv- nervous?» his question made your mouth fall agape. Was it that obvious? 

«I’m not»

«Oh» he puffed «O-okay. I’m sorry» you frowned.

«Why do you keep saying that?» Jungkook gulped harshly.

«I- I shouldn’t have asked.» and now he was looking like a puppy for the first time in front of your eyes. For a moment he didn’t seem the charming awkward man that had made you feel uncomfortable anymore. The silence filled the air even though the streets were chaotic. 

Seeing him like that made you speak: «You won’t tease?»

«Wha-What? Why?» Kook thought the conversation was already over, so when you asked him he really didn’t had his brain working. «I mean, why should I t-tease you?» doe-eyes staring directly into yours.

«You always do it» you shrugged. In that moment, Jungkook really felt awful. You really thought all he had done was because he was teasing you?

«I don’t»

«Yes, you do»

«No, I don’t» his voice sounded firm for the first time. Your eyes left his.

«Then this is you? You usually act like... you acted yesterday? And the day before? And the-»

«No, I- I don’t» he sighed «but I’m not teasing you. I never wanted to?»

«Why are you asking me?»

«I’m not! It’s just-» he let the sentence disappear like a speck of dust blown off by the window. «I won’t tease» his voice made you look back into his eyes and the silence filled the space between you two again, your face lost his brightness.

«My parents are not easy-going people. It’s just that.» Jungkook raised his eyebrows.

«Yes, but a chief?» he let out without even thinking, the second he saw your features changing he wanted to slap himself.

«I know, it’s desperate» he held his breath, the guilt already sneaking in his body for letting you think he thought that.

«No!» his voice came out louder than expected «I-It’s not. I was just curious. Maybe I should hire Seokjin too when my parents come to my place. He cooks better than me» you scoffed and his heart sped up like crazy. Finally, he thought. He was dying to hear that sound escape your lips, and now that he was the cause of it he wanted to hear it more.

«Jungkook!» Jin’s voice remembered him what you were really doing and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he turned to watch him get closer with each step. Your mouth hanging open at the sight. Tall, broad shoulders and a charming face. Was it a thing running in his group?

«I’m Kim Seokjin, but call me Jin. I’m your chief for today.» he introduced himself once he stood in front of you.

«I’m Y/N. Thank you for doing this, I’m aware I didn’t give you time to-»

«Don’t worry, really. It’s not a problem.» he smiled. You nodded and gulped nervously before glancing at Jungkook, who was standing there shifting his gaze between you and his friend, praying everything would work out fine.

«Let’s go, you can tell me about what you’d like to eat while we get to your place»

And with that, you nodded at him and gave a smile to the maknae. Jungkook’s heart skipped a few beats.

«I swear, she has the worst parents ever.» Jin claimed, eyes wide and shocked features. «They really aren’t easy-going people.»

«Did they complain about the food?» Namjoon asked, the hyung raised his eyebrows.

«They didn’t dare, luckily for them,» he scoffed. «but from what I heard from the kitchen that woman really has the strongest self-control ever»

«What happened?» Hobi sat beside him on the couch.

«You mean what didn’t happen. First, when they came in they didn’t even greet her, they just gave her their coats and ran past her like nothing.» he raised his index finger while shaking his head. Jungkook’s eyes widened.

«Then they started complaining about her apartment. “I don’t really know how you like this place so much”, “it’s so small”, “do you even have a second bathroom in here?”, “you should move”. I mean, let her breathe!» he imitated your parents’s voices, an high-pitched tone for your mother and a weird twang for you father. His middle finger went up.

«After that, her mother tried to break into her room as if she’s a fifteen years old teenager. What the hell was that? She even locked it before they came in, I saw her.» and now his ring finger too.

«What?» Yoongi couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and neither the others. Everyone’s expression was only screaming shock, staring at their friend like he was telling them a crime novel. Jungkook had his eyebrows knitted together, mouth agape and an emotion neither he could quite get running through his blood.

«I swear I’m not making this up! They’re the worst!» Jin shook his head. «When they saw me serving the plates her mother raised her eyebrows and waited for me to go into the kitchen before she started spitting out all her venom. “Couldn’t you do this on your own? Of course not. You’re still trying to dance, right? That’s why you don’t even have time to learn how to cook”, “your mother is right, you should start to act like an adult, Y/N. I think it’s time for you to stop with that”. It was like being in hell, and I was in my heaven, you know I love standing in front of the stove. I honestly don’t know how she managed to stay calm.»

«Oh, God. She must feel so much pressure» Hobi muttered, Yoongi and Taehyung nodded.

«I know. I could see it in her eyes when I left, she was acting like nothing happened but she really seemed wrecked. She insisted to pay me but I refused her money, I told her she’s fine since is your “friend”» Jin looked at Jungkook, who weakly smiled as a thank you for his actions. He already knew that your parents were not that easy from your words and the way you acted that morning, but God, he never though they’d be like this. How did you even manage to not burst out at them?

Your pillow was doing nothing to muffle your sobs, they could be heard even with the sound of the TV on and the sheets hiding you from the light light of the screen. Useless to say, you were feeling like shit. You always tried your best but always fail with them. You were used to it, so why were you crying? Again? You wished your parents were different, more amenable, you even wished you were different, the daughter they expected you to be. But you weren’t, and all you were left with was hope, every time. Maybe the next time will be better, that was what you usually told to yourself, and that was probably why you ended up crying this time too. You needed to stop it and face the fact that it was not going to be better. You weren’t the problem, and deep inside you you knew it.

You simply needed to face it.

Finally, here comes today. It’s weird for you to think this, but you actually want to meet Jungkook, to thank him. The awful night you had made you think of how hard you try with your parents even though you keep telling yourself it’s not true. After having a chief cooking for you, the only thing you can do is cope with it. You can’t deny you were being anxious for the whole time, still skeptical about the situation, afraid that Jungkook was maybe teasing you again and his friend was no one but a someone looking for fun him too. But he wasn’t, he’s been nice for the entire time, always smiling and trying to make you feel comfortable, he sure knows how to marvel a new client. You saw him blinking a few times because of your parents’s words, but you’re grateful he didn’t tell you anything. He was professional and friendly, and you feel so sorry about not paying him and making him deal with the awkward lunch of you and your parents.

Thus, you are now walking in the studio hoping to find Jungkook or maybe one of his friends, not sure of what exactly are his schedules. You look for him until you realize you’re already five minutes late for your rehearsals so you decide to rush back in your room. What you didn’t expect is to find him at your doorframe, eyes shifting from person to person. His figure makes you hold your breath, his features taken by whoever his looking for, lips pursued, tall and muscled body wrapped in a pair of black jeans and a gray shirt.

«Jungkook?» you call. Jungkook’s heart drops when he realizes it’s your voice, then in a second the embarrassment is there again, making his ears and cheeks flashing red.

«H-hi?» he slowly moves his stare until it’s on your face.

«Were you looking for me?» his eyes wide, he weakly raises his eyebrows and now his lips are slightly parted in a pout.

«N-no? Yes, I mean no, I- fuck» he mutters, shutting his eyes at the end of the uncommon answer and hissing under his breath. You knit your eyebrows. Once he opens his eyes again you can’t help but smirk, just a little bit. With the half-gone sensation of him teasing at you it’s more easy to do it.

«I- what was the question?» he really doesn’t know how to answer you. You scoff and shake your head.

«Never mind, I was looking for you but now I really can’t talk. Do you have some time later?» your uncertain tone makes you cringe, again feeling weird in front of him. You can’t help it, it’s just something that happens every time in his presence.

His brain stops working again. «Oh, yes? Y-yeah»

«What- what time do you get off?»

«I- well, I- uhm... Yoongi!» he suddenly screams, panicking and widening his eyes when he shifts them from you to his friend, his tone radiates nothing but frustration.

Thanks God, he thinks, but a second later he’s already regretting it. You quickly turn to see his friend approaching you in heavy footsteps, and when you link his face to his name another wave of uncomfortableness sneaks in your body.

Yoongi looks at you only when he sides his friend, gulping harshly and trying to fake a smile as best as he can. «Hi, I’m Yoongi?»Why do they all speak like this? 

He shifts his eyes from you to Jungkook and viceversa, hoping someone to talk and tell him what the hell is he doing there with you two. When Jungkook finally speaks his voice his shaking. «What dime do- do we get o-off?» his eyes are basically praying Yoongi to answer.

«I think at seven?»

«Oh» he lets out, lowering his gaze on you again. You try to shrug off the mix of emotions his dark eyes give you.

«Okay, I... I’ll wait for you? I guess, if you tell me-»

«13» Yoongi interrupts your blabbering seeing that the maknae’s face is as blank as a white sheet paper, still in shock from what’s happening, he probably wouldn’t have known how to answer you.

«Thank you. See you later then» you try to smile without letting your uneasiness creep in and quickly enter the rehearsal room, letting out a deep breath.

«You know you’ll have to talk to her later, right? And what was she talking about?» Yoongi asks as soon as you can’t hear him. Jungkook shrugs.

«She- she wants to talk? I’m gonna die in the awkwardness, I know it. I’m gonna embarrass myself so much I won’t even be able to breathe, fuck.»

«Y/N?» Jungkook stares at your reflection in the mirror, his movements suddenly stop nd Hobi frowns at him.

«Jungkook, what are you doing?» he screams over the music. The maknae blinks a few times before he understands you’re looking at him and he’ll make everything more awkward if he keeps standing still like this with his eyes on you. Thus, he takes a deep - deep - breath and  counts the time again before catching up with the moves.

His body makes you hold your breath, his movements are clean and outright, his style is impactful, even the small details incredibly focused and accurate. His muscles twitch under the clothes, and you can outline the muscles of his legs even without even trying. Only the sight makes you shudder. His body is something you really didn’t dwell on, too much taken aback from the way he usually acts around you, but having a show like this in front of your eyes is something you can’t really turn away to. The way he moves his hips in a particular move has you clenching around nothing, and you suddenly blush at the thought of how he’d move them in a different situation, your heart beats faster.

Jungkook tries to not let your presence influence his rehearsals but he can’t help to steal a few glances at you while he moves on the rhythm. When he sees you blushing and glancing down his body he can’t help but smirk a little bit, even though his heart beats louder with every second. He glances away again when you eventually raise your eyes to his face, body stiffening in an second.

When the music finally stops and you seem to wake up from your trance you find yourself looking at the others, realizing only now that you probably should have asked before coming in the room like this, so you stand up and go out in a second.

Yoongi suddenly runs behind you.

«Y/N? Right?» you have no chance but to turn and nod.

«I’m sorry, I sho-»

«You can stay.» he smiles at you «And I’m sorry for the tea, the other day»

«Are you sure?»

«About the tea? I’m really sorry» he bits the inside of his cheek.

«No, I mean are you sure I-»

«Oh, yes. Jungkook would like it if you stayed» he suddenly points his thumb to Jungkook, who’s staring at the two of you with his lips parted and apparently in trance like you were just a few seconds ago. When your eyes lock with his you shrug to hide the weird shiver sneaking into your back.

«Okay, then» you smile at Yoongi and head back to the bench at the side of the room. 

You spend at least twenty five minutes staring at Jungkook, your eyes rarely meet the figures of his friends, completely taken by the way he moves and the emotions he makes you feel with every song. At the beginning the maknae feels his cheeks heating up and his body as stiff as a trunk, but with the time passing by and the seconds becoming minutes he slowly gains a little bit of confidence, and when you see him even more free and secure you can’t help but take in the sight releasing a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding. He’s like a magnet, some weird kind of energy attracts you to him, maybe it’s the way he speaks with his face or the way his eyes seem even darker and deeper when he sometimes glances at you and immediately glances back. Time seems to run and before you know it the music stops again and the group is lets out uneven breaths, heading to the bench you’re sitting on to grab their towels.

You feel your cheeks heat up when you notice almost every one of them glance at you with a look you can’t really read. Jungkook is still in front of the mirror, eyes completely focused on the way his body moves and repeating movements like a mantra. When he finally stops and turns around his gaze locks with yours, his heart pounds in his chest, palms sweaty all of a sudden.

«Kook, here!» one of his friends throws him a bottle of water and the man quickly catches it bringing it to his lips and taking a few sips. You watch the way his adam’s apple moves from your seat. He closes the bottle and finally heads to the bench, he feels so nervous he’d do something awkward and make you both feel uncomfortable that he almost thinks of running away. The others seem to quickly disappear to go to change and when he finally stands beside you you don’t really know how to act. The silence fills the room and makes you wince, your tongue comes out to wet the petals of your lips, Jungkook holds his breath.

«I like your style of dancing, the way you move» you blurt out. The maknae seems almost shocked at your words.

«I- I like it too» and here we go again. «I mean, I like yours too?»

«You watched me dancing?»

Jungkook groans. «I- oh, ye- yes?» he quickly gives up on lying «I watched you»

«Oh, I didn’t notice» you nervously smile. «Thank you, then»

Jungkook brings his white towel to his neck, wiping the sweat from his skin. That stupid action hits you like a wrecking ball.

«I’m- I’m sorry for everything that happened,» he speaks without thinking «I- I never wanted to tease you. I’m really sorry it- it came out like that. Really sorry.» his tone is shaky and he still can’t believe he managed to let out a full sentence without embarrassing himself or you. For some kind of reason his words make your gaze deepen in his, the weight of your irises almost crashing down Jungkook’s mind.

 You shake your head. «You apologize every time» a smile breaks through your mask.

«I don’t want to... make you feel uncomfortable? It’s just... I’m really so- sorry if it came out in the wrong way. I always end up embarrassing myself but I wanted to make a good impression, it’s just-» he suddenly stops talking, feeling all of a sudden even more nervous to say the words he was almost spilling out, he scraps at the back of his neck.

«You make me nervous» he really said it. 

His words hit you like a train, fast enough to make you doubt you really heard them and hard enough to stun you. «I make you nervous? Oh, I’m sorry I-»

«No, no, no, no» he quickly complaints «In a good way, I- I guess?» 

«What do you mean?»

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak a few times but always fails and closes it, before putting the towel on the bench and harshly gulping. «I- Can we talk about something else? Please?» he almost whines, making a weird smile form on your lips.

«Do you want to go to the cafe?»

He nods at your proposal, lifting his index finger. «Just give me a minute to change and-» he lowers to grab at all his stuff on the bench but unintentionally hits the bottle of water which falls to the ground. He lets out a deep shaky breath, the words I’m so bad at this echoing in his mind. You manage to bend over and grab it but at the same time he takes a step towards it to do the same, stopping when he sees your hands holding the bottle. When you raise back, the view you meet with makes you hold your breath and your cheeks red like peppers, Jungkook is not quick enough to rush back, and you can’t help but feel uncomfortable again, but this time there’s a different emotion too that you’re not quick enough to grasp.

It happens in a matter of seconds, but it seems like minutes when you glance at him, standing tall and looking at you bewitched by the sight of you like this. And he needs to remember himself you’re actually here to hold back the dirty thoughts that are already filling his head. You gulp hard, your eyes scanning his beautiful features and saving the breathtaking sight, his crotch almost touching your cheek because of the lack of distance. And you can’t deny, your thoughts take you to a different dimension that makes you fucking throb.

«Just- give me- give me a minute?» Jungkook stutters with a deep low voice, heavy breath and cheeks heating up.

«This are the kind of things that makes me think of you teasing me» you don’t even know where your words came out from, how’d you manage to make a full sentence still watching him from the same position.

«I swear, I didn’t want to-»

«It’s okay» you unintentionally lick your lips and he finds it even harder to keep a clear head, his cock already hardening. «Go?»

He slowly nods waking up from his trance, and manages to rush back into the fitting room with fast steps and heavy breathing, hoping that the others are not there. Not now that with every steps he takes he feels harder with the image of your eyes looking at him from down.

«Fuck» he hisses letting his bag fall to the bench. Luckily, no one’s here anymore and he’s only left with his boner. What is he supposed to do now? He can’t just change and go out, you’d see it, definitely.

Fuck.

Jungkook quickly heads to the door of the bathroom and takes a deep breath before locking it, lowering his sweat pants and his boxers on his thighs. The second the material doesn’t hug him anymore his cock jumps to his stomach, tip already red and dripping with precum. How do you manage to get him this hard without even trying?

His hand immediately wraps around his shaft, squeezing himself a little bit, just enough to make his head fall back and his lips part letting out a strangled whine. 

«Fuck» he hisses before he starts moving his hand, his mind going back at you and how damn good you looked before at the height of his cock. The first time he masturbated thinking about you sucking him dry he didn’t really think he would ever have a picture of you to accompany his actions to. And now that he has it, he can’t seem to get enough of it. You’d look so fucking good giving him the blowjob of his life, hollowing your cheeks and wrapping him in your mouth, he’d fuck it so good you’d be drooling and gagging for him. His thumb slowly caresses his frenulum and he twitches under his hand, stroking himself faster and harder. He doesn’t even realize it but the image of you he has in mind is making him louder than he usually is, panting and hissing, begging to explode.

«Oh my god, fuck.» he groans.

You can’t hear him from where you are, but your tights are tightening anyway. What happened just a few moments ago is replaying in your mind over and over again. The view he gave you of him staring directly into your eyes while you were basically facing his cock it’s making you go out of your mind. You can’t deny he’s charming, with features that make you feel dizzy, but this was too much to handle even for you. Your mind can’t help but fantasize how he’d fist your hair while you’d lick him, and just the thought makes you clench around nothing, the wetness between your folds already soaking your knickers. You try to push the image away, but the way you’re desperately squeezing your thighs for some kind of friction tells a total different story.

Jungkook bites his lips, his abdomen twitching and his shoulders heavily raising.

«Y/N» he whines, picturing you on your knees for him. In his mind, your hands are one on his inner thigh and the other playing with his nipple, twirling it between your index and thumb and making him even more sensible.

«Shit, so good» his voice is husky, sure as hell it would make you shudder and fall on your knees if you’d only hear it. His movements become more sloppy, the knot in his stomach almost about to burst. He groans and speeds up even more, hips practically hitting his hand with every stroke. He imagines your thighs tightened, the wetness in your folds, the way you’d taste, and he feels even closer.

«So fucking good»

Jungkook spits in his hand. His breath stutters more, and he suddenly doesn’t remember how to breathe anymore as he strokes himself harder, the lewd sound of him shoving in his fist becomes louder, the only sound feeling the bathroom and the fitting room.

The thought of you cupping his balls and massaging it makes him do the same thing, he pictures your tongue licking and swirling around the head of his cock. That is the last chunk he needs to come undone in his palm, spatters of white hitting his chest as he fucks himself through his orgasm until he’s too sensitive to even make one more stroke, letting his head resting on the door behind him. Eyes closed, heavy breath and mouth completely dry, Jungkook takes some time to recover from the heavenly climax he just reached.

God, what he’d give to know that he had the exact effect you had on him, but you’re just too shy to do something about it here. If you were home, well that would be a different thing. You’d help yourself with your vibrator, fucking it into you like it was him. But now, now you’re just trying to contain your thoughts, waiting for him to come out and go to the cafe.

When you realize it’s been a while since he disappeared you decide it’s better to go and see if everything’s okay. Standing up you unsurely walk to the door of the fitting room, the structure of the building being always the same makes finding the way easier. You knock at the door.

«Jungkook? Are you okay?»

«I- uhm, I’m coming, give me a second!» he answers back with a high-pitched tone, so you nod and go back to your bench, waiting for him. It takes him another three minutes to finally come out, his hair are a little bit messy and you think he must’ve ran his hands through them a few times.

«Are we- are we still going?» he asks. With your worries at the door of the fitting room he thought you might have heard him before, but when you nod and smile he lets his previous thoughts fade.

You head out of the studio and to the cafe, trying to ignore the way your panties practically slips against your folds. Jungkook tries to think about what to say and how to begin a safe conversation for the both of you without feeling uncomfortable or awkward but he just can’t seem to find nothing else than the question he asks.

«You wanted to talk?» lowering his gaze to his side he looks at you walking in silence. You quickly nod.

«I wanted to thank you, actually» you turn to smile at him, the butterflies in in stomach invading every part of his body.,«You know, for Jin.»

«Oh, no- no problem» he smiles back, his eyes sparkling and you can’t deny the sudden warmth you feel in your chest. «It’s the least I could do, for what happened?» his sentence sounds again like a question, but by now you’re kinda used to it. You scoff.

«Let’s say I forgive you for the dress and the awkward meeting» you tease. His eyes squint and he wrinkles his nose.

«That wasn’t my fault» he murmurs.

«Your friend?»

He nods. «Teahyung»

«Well, then I forgive Teahyung and you for the dress» you smile again, his heart is beating like crazy.

«How much do I have to embarrass my-myself for the drink Yoongi spilled on you?» he’d like to giggle but he feels so freaking nervous that all he can do is let out a puff.

«I don’t know, you’re pretty good at that. I’d end up enjoying the show eventually and it wouldn’t be fair, I’d let you go on» you tease again. Jungkook’s cheeks heat up. His brain trying to understand if you’d say something like this because you like the way he acts around you or just for the fun of teasing him. The truth is, neither you know it now.

«It’s the thing I seem to be better at» your giggle makes him feel lighter.

«I was kidding» you stop your steps and he realizes you’re already in front of the cafe.

«You’re forgiven, more than forgiven. I actually feel like I owe you something now» you explain looking directly in his dark eyes, and damn, he’s really beautiful.

«Oh- no, no! Don’t, please» he shakes his head. «I- I wanted to make it up to you, you don’t owe me anything»

«Well, let me get you a coffee or something you’d like at least?» you point at the shop behind you. Jungkook licks his lips and takes another deep breath before nodding, following you in and trying to look elsewhere but the way you swing your hips with every step. You’re gonna be the death of him, and he’s slowly falling even more with every word you say.

Thanks to the time the cafe is almost empty, only two or three clients are sit on the chairs at the counter. Nevertheless, you sit at your favorite table, the one in the corner always forgotten by practically everyone. There’s something about this table that makes you feel safe, maybe it’s because no one seems to look at it, sometimes even the waitress forgets it.

«I’ll get a tea» you announce without even glancing at the menu, Jungkook tilts his head to the side and hides his head behind it. You wait for him to choose what he wants and when he’s done you raise your hand to the waitress behind the counter. The woman quickly walks to you, giving you a gentle smile.

«What can I serve you?»

«A tea for me»

«I’ll have a Red Velvet latte» Jungkook says, leaving you amused by his choice. The waitress quickly nods and leaves you with another smile.

«Red Velvet?» you ask «I’ve always wanted to try it but I always end up with tea or coffe» you reveal, Kook raises his eyebrows.

«I like- I like it. Maybe you want a sip?»

«Don’t worry, I’ll get it the next time»

«We can switch drinks if you want» he says as the same time as you.

«Really, Jungkook, don’t worry» you smile at him.

«Anyway, I really am thankful for Jin yesterday. He helped me a lot, without him I’d probably end up having a breakdown» you scoff at the end of your sentence even though it’s true. Jungkook watches you as you speak, completely taken by your words and the way you move your lips, your voice seems to be the only thing catching his ears now, not even one of his favorite songs playing in the background gets him.

«Thank you for being so nice and help me, Jungkook. It was Sunday and-»

«Hey, no problem» he cuts off your rumbling with his hand on yours, and the second he realizes what he has just done he takes it away with wide eyes. The only trace he leaves on your skin is the dampness of his sweaty palms.

«I’m- I’m sorry»

«Stop it, please» you almost whine and his features instantly sadden, afraid he just made another mistake. He tries to hide his expression but fails, and the guilt sneaks into you making you shake your head.

«I mean, stop being so stiff. Tell me, what is it?» you ask.

«What?»

«What do I do to make you this nervous?» you ask again. «I can try and-»

«It’s not you.» he cuts you off again. «I- I mean it is you, but it’s me. I-» he stutters.

«I can try to hide my face if you want» youironically propose as you grab the menu and cover your face with it. Jungkook frowns but immediately smiles at your silliness. «Does it work?»

«It- It’s not making any difference» he holds back a laugh.

«Are you sure?» you giggle. He shakes his head.

«I am, just- please, look at me» his words play a strange trick on your mind, making you harshly gulp as your heart skips a few beats. It’s noy like he had just said something that important, but your mind goes blank for a second.

«Y/N?» he calls, eyes fixated on the menu you’re holding. He stretches his arm out and grabs at the paper, slowly lowering it from your face. Your eyes, your nose, your lips. Jungkook stares at every feature of your face taking in the sight in front of him, the power you have on him is fucking scary, and he’s realizing it for the first time now looking in your eyes.

«What happened?» he lets out in a whisper, not really certain of his voice at the moment. You gulp and shake your head. You don’t even know what happened, how are you supposed to explain him?

«There you go, your tea and your Red Velvet» the waitress comes in the way, and you thank her in your mind for saving you from the awkward situation you just putted yourself into. However, the interruption is fast and she leaves in a matter of seconds leaving you with your drinks.

You can’t help but glance at his glass, the crimson color of the drink intrigues you and the chocolate chips on top are the perfect frame. Jungkook lifts it from the table and stretches his arm again towards you, putting the drink basically under your nose.

«Try it» he manages to say holding his breath. He doesn’t even know where he gained all of this boldness, he just did it without thinking. And now that you stare at him he’s beginning to think he’s making things awkward again.

Your hands cover his, giving birth to another session of butterflies in his stomach and a shudder running down your spine. Jungkook understands he has to remove his hand from the glass to make you drink and he slips away like he just got burn by a blazing fire.

Taking a sip you let yourself taste the sweetness of the latte and the chocolate chips before giving him his drink again, deciding this will definitely be your next order at this place.

«It’s so good» you whine, Jungkook smiles.

«It’s one of my favorite drinks, Jin- he always tries new things and likes to feed us like babies. He introduced me to this»

«I really like it» you bring your cup of tea to your lips, taking a sip. «My tea is so boring now» his smile widens.

«We can really switch drinks if you-»

«No, don’t worry, really»

He nods, taking the first sip of his Red Velvet.

«So Jin is kinda like the mama of the group?» Jungkook smiles at your comment.

«He is the oldest» he nods. «He likes to take care of us and we like to eat» you giggle at his words.

«His cooking is really good, I haven’t eaten that good in months. I should have insisted more on paying him» you take another sip from your tea.

«Trust me, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it» Jungkook smiles at you, and it’s a matter of seconds before he finally noticed he’s not stuttering anymore. In fact, he feels more comfortable. «He was happy to help»

«Oh, trust me, he helped me a lot»

You try to think what would’ve happen yesterday if it wasn’t for him, the result would have been even worse than it already is. Jungkook’s heart warms up knowing he was really able to help you, he made something right. The smile you have on your face makes him want to work even more to create a brand new one.

«What about Yoongi? Does he spill his drinks on everyone?»

«No, he doesn’t» Jungkook scoffs and avoids telling you the reason why he actually spilled it. «He’s the second hyung. Actually, he’s usually very quiet. His stage name is Suga»

«I heard about him» you raise your eyebrows. «Someone told me he injured his shoulder fighting over a first prize but I didn’t think it was him they were talking about, and honestly I didn’t know if it was true» 

The maknae shakes his head. «It’s not true. He actually got injured while working, he had to find a job to pay for his dance lessons and eventually he started a delivering job. He got hit by a car.» Jungkook stares at the wooden table «People often say that or that he tried to beat one of the judges and got kicked in his ass. I don’t get why they like to make up something so stupid» an heavy sigh leaves his lips.

«Last year I broke my uncle because I was pushing myself too hard for a contest and eventually I didn’t perform. I heard people say I couldn’t ‘cause I was pregnant» you tell him, the memory still makes you wrinkle your nose. Jungkook’s eyes widens before he opens his mouth.

«I hate rumors» he mumbles. «Who- who do you want to know about now?» he stutters a little bit, deciding to bring back the conversation to a positive vibe.

«Taehyung? Was it his name?» you squint your eyes.

«Yes» he nods. «Taehyung is the second maknae and a fashion icon in the group, we always try to look as cool as him but he just has that something that makes you give up and stay in your sweat pants.» you giggle at his comment and he can’t help but smile at your sparkling eyes.

«He doesn’t usually act like the first time we met, he’s pretty confidential.» Jungkook takes the last sip of his Red Velvet and you do the same with your now almost cold tea while you take in all the informations.

«Namjoon is the dad of the group, he’s always willing to give you advices but at the same time able to give you a good shake. He and Jimin are my go to when I need to talk to someone, but the others are pretty good at listening too. Jimin is the third maknae»

«Who’s the first?»

Jungkook puckers his lips. «Me» 

«How old are you?»

«I’m twenty two» he answers, remembering this is the last day he gets to say it. For a little moment he thinks of you at his birthday, but he forces himself to push the picture away, it would be weird to invite you when you’re talking fr the first time.

«I’m older than you!» you can’t help but exclaim, Jungkook licks his lips.

«Really?»

You nod.«I’m twenty four»

«How- how should I call you then?» he bits his lips, a little bit of nervousness sneaks again into him, worried you don’t like the way he has been talking to you.

«Oh, please don’t call me noona!» you shake your head and smile at him.

«Are you sure?»

«Yes, Jungkook. Don’t change the way you were talking to me, I liked it. It was natural» you smile at him, your heart beats faster when a smile shines on his face and lights up his features. Jungkook is trying to be as natural as he can, trying to speak without blubbering still stunned by your presence in front of him, and hearing those words make him less tense.

«Hoseok is the only one left. He’s a ray of sunshine, always able to make you smile and laugh. His stage name is J-Hope. He’s a spring, his movements are as fluid as water. Oh, and he can’t hide his expressions whenever he’s angry, even though it’s difficult to annoy him. His face goes like this» Jungkook’s try to emulate his friend is quickly cut off by your bursting laugh because of his expression, and he can’t hold back his giggles at the sound of your happiness.

«Sounds like a beautiful group» you say when you finally stop laughing, your cheeks are hurting while you take a look inside your mug, realizing only now it’s empty.

«It is, they’re my family» the tone he uses makes a knot built up in your throat, smiling melancholic. And who the hell knows why, Jungkook notices it. 

«Is- is something wrong? Did I say-»

«No, no, no. It’s fine, I’m fine» you quickly say smiling again. He would like to ask you what’s wrong again until you’d probably end up answering him but he thinks he’d invade your personal space and annoying you.

«Are you sure? I- I know I ask this a lot but-»

«I’m sure, thank you for asking» you interrupt him with another gentle smile. Jungkook knows it’s not true, but he nods anyway, bringing his gaze to his empty glass. His action makes you bring yours to your phone, unlocking the screen and realizing only now it’s almost eight and a half.

«I should go now»

He raises his glance, the feeling in his chest it’s telling him to not let you go but he can’t do that.

«I’ll see you tomorrow at the studio?» you ask him while getting up from your chair, rummaging through your purse looking for the wallet. Jungkook is about to say yes when he remembers tomorrow it’s their free day.

«No, not tomorrow» he smiles at you getting up and producing a shrill sound with his chair against the floor, his cheeks heat up for the fiftieth time only in an hour.

«Oh, I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday then? Or whenever we-»

«Could you give me your number?»

If he thought his heart already risked a heart attack many times with you, then now he should be dead from the way it’s beating. Blood running through his body so fast that he can hear it his in his ears, the tip of them and his cheeks flashing red, palms sweating more than before. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked you.

You stare at him for a few seconds, completely stuttered by his question as you gulp harshly and blink a few times.

«You- you promise you won’t send me nudes?» you joke, and this time you are the one who’s left with her mouth agape, wondering where the hell that just came out from. «Oh my-»

«If you don’t ask for them I won’t» Jungkook scoffs, the fact you just said something like that is making him feel lighter. You raise your eyebrows at him.

«I won’t, I surely won’t» you quickly rebut but you’re afraid he might be offended so you keep adding words making everything worse. «I mean- not that I wouldn’t like them, it’s just-»

«Y/N» he interrupts your dwelling. «I- I won’t send or ask for nudes» he laughs at his own words at the end of the sentence, making you grimace.

«I’m- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that»

«It’s okay» he smiles at you and you let out a shaky breath before putting ten bucks on the table and heading to the door with him.

Jungkook dials your number on his phone and quickly sends you a message to let you save his, still freaking out in his mind for what happened in just an hour of being with you.

The afraid of being awkward he felt at the beginning is still there, but he feels more comfortable now that he knows a little bit about you. He’s still nervous, palms still sweaty and heart still beating like crazy, gaze still trying to lock with yours just to shudder and blush under it. He likes the way his nervousness shaded with the comfortableness you made him feel talking to you, his chest both threatening to explode because of the tension but still tasting the sweetness of the naturalness and ease, the combo is one of the weirdest to ever exist, but it’s true.

«Goodbye, Jungkook» you smile at him after putting your phone back in your purse. You think about your actions for a moment before quickly tiptoeing and leaving a soft peck on his cheek that makes him almost feel dizzy. The way your soft lips touched his skin will haunt him even in his dreams tonight. He’s not rapid enough to smile at you while you turn and walk away, too shocked by your actions, but he smiles anyway.

This is the first time Jungkook realizes he just had a bite of the cake, and now he wants to eat it all.

«Are you kidding?» Taehyung’s deep voice resonates through the stairwell and Jungkook can hear it even by pulling his phone away from his ear.

«I’m not, Tae» he rushes to the door and hangs up before opening it sure that his friend is already there. In fact, he is. Standing still in front of him in his Gucci palazzo trousers looking like a model.

«Happy birthday, Kookie» he smiles at him and hugs him tight making Jungkook chuckle.

«You just said it on the phone»

«I know» he pats his shoulder. «Where are the others?»

«They’re coming» Jungkook takes a look to his lounge, the table is already set and the food is almost ready, Jin will be proud of him.

«Is she coming too?» Taehyung asks, Jungkook turns like top.

«What? No»

«Why not?»

«I don’t know... we don’t have that much of intimacy. And with you?» he knits his eyebrows thinking of the possible ending of doing something like that. «She’d probably feel like a fish out of water and you’re gonna embarrass me if I’m not the one doing it» he shakes his head.

The bell rings and Kook rushes to the door to welcome his friends, Hobi and Jin are standing there with the biggest smiles on their faces and hands full of envelopes, smiles as bright as the sun.

«There will be a day when you’ll be old and people will make fun of you, and it’s coming! Happy birthday!» Jin hugs the maknae laughing for his own words and Jungkook does the same. Hobi joins the hug, making Tae grimace and run to them.

«I feel alone» he mumbles before wrapping his arms around the three of them, Jungkook in the middle is almost dying, being the burger in the middle of the bread.

«Happy birthday!» Hobi screams, his voice echoing in the hallways remembers Jungkook the door is still open.

«Okay, now set me free» he laughs. «Where are the others?» their grip on him loosen and he finally closes the door.

«They went to buy you a cake, Seokjin made you one but Joon ate it last night without knowing it was yours» Hobi burst out laughing.

«It was obvious! He should’ve known it!» Jin screams frustrated with his eyes wide.

«Look at that!» Jimin points at the cake through the glass, his eyes sparkling at the sight and his mouth begging to taste the sweetness of the sponge cake. He looks like a baby.

«Ugh, Chimin! It’s for Jungkook, not you!» Namjoon scolds him making the corners of his mouth drop.

«I know what he likes!» he says back. Yoongi shuts his eyes, they’ve been in here for almost ten minutes now, fighting over which cake they could buy and not really getting anything.

«Do you-»

«He’ll like that» Yoongi cuts off Joonie’s words and point at the cake nodding to the pastry chef behind the counter who quickly smiles at him.

«Could you write “Jungkook” on top of it?» Jimin asks with a kind smile, the baker nods and he raises his eyebrows at Namjoon.

«See? It’s gonna be perfect, you need to listen to me!»

Namjoon sighs and shakes his head, taking a glance out of the shop to see his girlfriend still in the car waiting for them, eyes fixated on her phone.

Your parents had decided to ring your doorbell without telling you they were coming over. Luckily - or unfortunately - it’s Tuesday, and on Tuesday you’re usually home for lunch, but when the doorbell squeaked you didn’t really think it was them. Maybe the postman or a neighbor, but not your parents.

«Surprise!» they both screamed. It was the worst surprise ever. You didn’t know they were coming so you didn’t make lunch for them, didn’t tidy up properly, didn’t hide your things and didn’t lock your door. Plus, you weren’t prepared for another mental breakdown, not so soon after they gave you one just two days ago. And you still aren’t now, listening to them talking while you eat your salad.

«Your mother decided to come visit Ailiseu for a few days and September is already here so we decided not to wait until next month, it’ll be too cold» your father explains, his smile going from ear to ear. You instantly pray for the mental health of your cousin knowing how your parents can be, she’s gonna go out of her mind.

«Exactly! And we’re staying at her place, since she has a big house. Sorry honey, we would’ve asked you but we thought we’d be too much in here.»

«No problem» you try to sound as kind as possible. This is the good side of having a small house, at least.

«How long will you stay?»

«Three days» your father says «but we’re going to Ailiseu for dinner, we’d like to spend today with you»

«Take a day off of work.» your mother points her index finger at you. «We’ll have fun! We could go to the mall and buy some clothes, I really don’t like the shirt you’re wearing»

You stop eating fixing your gaze on your meal and trying to stay calm. This is a nightmare. How are you supposed to not go to work when they saw you were fine this morning? And notify them in half an hour? Your boss is going to go out of his mind and kill you. You won’t even be able to rehearsal today, obviously.

«Mom, I-»

«Please?» your father cuts you off.

You give up. It’s scientifically proven that you can’t beat them at this game without bursting out, that would definitely lead to an argument and you really are not in the mood for it. So you nod and finish your lunch listening to all their stories, your mother complaining about everything: the broken electric hand dryer at the gas station they stopped in, the way your father drives, your shirt - again -, your salad, your house and again your job. All of her words only make you wish to end this day as soon as possible but against your desire, time only seems to slow down while you wait for your her to come out of the bathroom.

You’re ready to go to the mall, you already called your boss and told him you had a setback and couldn’t go back to work this afternoon, and like you predicted before he didn’t sound happy at all, groaning things you couldn’t understand and quickly hanging up. Your mother is been in the bathroom for twenty minutes now making you frown and sink in your couch. When she finally comes out you head to the door in a second.

«Let’s go shopping!»

Your feet are hurting, if they could talk their exact words would be “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” at every step you take. You’ve been in here for almost six hours now, dragged from a shop to another, from a salon to a shoe store and you’re pretty sure that by now you entered all the shops in the mall.

«What’s the time?» your mother finally stops walking at your father’s question, taking a glance at her golden watch.

«It’s almost eight,» she answers raising her eyes to you «we should probably go. Do you mind giving us a ride to Ailiseu’s place?»

You try to fake a small and force yourself to nod despite your tiredness, all you’d like to do now is lay down and sleep. Your brain health is being put to serious danger today, with all your parents endless rumblings and complaints, your mother even tried to buy you a shirt just for you to go change the one you have on in the public restrooms.

You head to your car with big strides and yawning, your parents’ words behind you about how beautiful your cousin’s house is  and how much their parents must be proud of her are making your chest heavy and your head pound.

You hope not to stay stuck in traffic once you get in your car and get out of the parking lot. You only make it to a few blocks before your wishes and hopes totally fade away, the cars blocking the street and the sounds of the honking filling your ears.

«We’re gonna be late, Ailiseu is waiting for us» your father sighs.

«Can’t you take a different road?»

«How am I supposed to take a different road now? There are cars behind me» you huff at your mother’s words.

«Then honk!»

«It’s not gonna change a thing, everyone is doing that!» you claim. Your dad shakes his head.

You wait at least five minutes before you move again, the silence only filled with your mother’s huffs and annoyed muttering. When you think you finally made it and you’re gonna be home soon, a loud thud makes you shudder and not even a second later you’re being pushed against the wheel because of the swing of your car, hitting your forehead against the glass of the windshield.

It takes you a few moments to realize you just got hit and before you know it you’re already putting on your hazards and heading out of your car. How is it even possible to witness to accidents in just a few days? 

You take a look to your parents while they do the same as you and when you see they’re fine you let out a sigh of relief that lasts as quickly as it came out. Your car is devastated at the back and there is no way you can walk home without shedding parts along your way, you only feel grateful that you and your parents are not hurt.

The man in the car behind you approaches you with fast steps and a worried face, tired eyes and shaky voice.

«I’m so sorry, I should’ve been more careful»

You don’t even understand how he managed to make such a mess to your car with the traffic on the streets now, he probably came out from one of the small roads where there weren’t cars and you were the lucky one to welcome him in the jam.

The man leaves you his number telling you to call him once you know how much this is going to cost you and quickly leaves, you end up calling a taxi for your parents and a tow truck for your car, trying to stay as awake as possible. After forty five minutes of waiting you’re so tired that you could lay down and sleep in the middle of the road if it wasn’t for the cars threatening your life, but apparently someone is hearing your prayers and the tow truck comes to rescue you. Your car is brought to the mechanic and you say goodbye to another one hundred bucks for the tow truck. You’re left alone in the middle of the jam, so you move to the sidewalk ready to call a cab. You had the worst day and you’re already thinking of how much you’ll have to work to get all the money you just lost back.

«Y/N?»

You’re being caught off guard when someone calls you while you’re bringing the phone to your ear. When you turn and find Jin smiling at you you quickly hang up.

«Jin, hi»

«What are you doing here?» he looks down at you as if he’s the Eiffel Tower and you’re the grass.

«Uhm, my car broke, I was going to call a taxi»

«If you want I can give you a ride? Can you wait a little bit? Just the time to sing happy birthday to Jungkook and give him the gifts, we’re looking forward to embarrass him» he laughs.

«Oh, it’s Jungkook’s birthday?» Jin nods realizing only now that Kook probably didn’t tell you. «I don’t know... I don’t want to bother, I wasn’t invited and I don’t have a gift and-»

«I think you’re thinking too much» he quickly cuts you off. «I don’t think it will be a problem for Jungkook or the others, he’ll be happy to see you»

You sigh. You could call a taxi and wait for it, spend another fifty bucks and head home. Or you could wait a little bit and spend the time you’d spend waiting on the street with them and maybe have a little bit of fun after this awful day, maybe. If things won’t get awkward again. It’d save you money you could use for the groceries, after all.

«Lead the way» you end up saying thanking him with a warm smile. He nods and soon you’re in the elevator waiting for the doors to open, hoping not to look as awful as you feel right now. You still feel sorry to break into his birthday party without an invitation, a gift or even a little bit of more intimacy between you two, so when the doors open and you hear the laughters coming from one of the apartments you think of getting back outside and call a cab. But it’s too late, one of his friends already holds the door open for Jin, glancing over his shoulder with curious eyes and widening them at you.

«Jimin, this is Y/N» Jin introduces you to his friend gesturing with his hands an impossible language for you to understand, not that it does have meaning, he’s just trying to tell him to contain his expressions.

«Y/N, hi!» his voice is soft and it makes you smile without an apparent reason. You link him to Jungkook’s words yesterday, the third maknae and apparently, the friend he often chooses to ramble on to.

«Jungkook!» he screams over the laughters coming from the other room, eyes still fixated on you.

«Teahyung won’t let me come!» At the sound of how happy is voice sounds, laughing and cracking in the middle you can’t avoid the warmth in your chest.

«Come in» Jimin steps aside and lets you and Jin in the house. «You can give your coat to me»

You thank him and give him your coat before you’re following Jin in the other room where the others are. Their laughters stop in a second when they glance at you, now filling the place just with silence. Jungkook’s heart stops beating for a moment, totally shocked and overwhelmed by your presence, mouth agape and eyes widened. He wasn’t prepared to see you, he totally wasn’t. He stares at blankly as if he just saw a ghost and not even when Taehyung finally sets him free from his hold he’s able to say something. Your cheeks are burning like fire under all their gazes.

«I’m Taehyung» the guy who was holding him smiles at you and takes a few steps before reaching out his hand. «I’m sorry about the awkward meeting»

«Oh, don’t worry» you shrug at the memory.

«Jungkook?» a deep voice seems to wake him up from his trance, Namjoon is telling him to do something with his eyes.

«I’m Namjoon»

Soon enough all of them gather around you and shake your hand welcoming you into the house with bright smiles and kind words. The only girl in the group tells you to call her Kitty and tells you she’s the Namjoon’s girlfriend, she seems pretty nice and you end up talking for at least twenty minutes, all of your tiredness seems to disappear. The only one you still didn’t talk to is Jungkook, and you’re afraid he’s annoyed by your presence. The thought makes your head throb, but you wouldn’t blame him after all. It’s his birthday and sure he’d like to spend it with the people he loves, not with you that he doesn’t know much and weren’t even invited.

«You should go talk to her» Namjoon whispers in Kookie’s ear.

As if he hasn’t thought about it already. Jungkook knows he should talk to you, but as I said before, he really isn’t prepared for this. And seeing you talking with his friends and smiling makes the feeling in his chest even more uncontainable. You’re smiling and you seem at ease with them, sipping from your glass from time to time and laughing at Jin’s jokes. He likes this picture, you in his house, all bright and happy. He could get used to it. And all of this, only makes his anxiety grow until it’s skyrocketing.

«I’m gonna say or act awkward and ruin things again, I’m not-»

«And do you think that staying here won’t? She’s in your house, it’s your birthday and you didn’t even greet her. It surely...» he trails off when you take a few steps towards them. Jungkook bits the petal of his lower lip feeling the usual but still new mixture of emotions rushing through his blood until it reaches his chest and totally takes over him. Namjoon pats at his shoulder and glance at you with a kind smile before standing up from the couch with Hobi and heading to the kitchen. Jungkook stares at you for the millionth time, wishing to say something, anything, but the words are caught in his throat.

«Happy birthday» you stop in front of him, glancing down at the pillows beside him. «Can I?»

 He raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth even more before nervously nodding.

«I’m sorry,» you say softly after sitting on the couch «I didn’t want to break in and annoy you, my car broke and Jin offered me a ride home and-»

«You didn’t annoy me, you don’t annoy me. Never- you never annoy me» he blurts out. «You- you can stay as much as you want» his cheeks are heating up, and you don’t even know why but you suddenly smile like a baby, his words make you feel more at ease.

«I don’t have a gift»

«It doesn’t matter» he smiles at you, your heart both stuttering when you lock eyes.

«If I’m being honest, I-» he stops talking, eyes shifting from yours to meet the ground.

«What?»

Jungkook stays silent for a moment, thinking about what he wants to say over and over again, trying not to make it sound as cheesy as it sounds in his head, but the truth is that there aren’t other words to express it.

«I like you here»

«What?»

«I-» he gulps «I like you here, with us?» he wants to slap himself. Why did he even think about telling you something like this?

«You seem happy?»

You squint your eyes at him, something about this conversation is making you more nervous than usual.

«I think I am?» why are you asking him?

Jungkook scoffs at your tone, it comes out so naturally that it makes your heart flutter. «You don’t sound so sure about that» he quotes your words, a bright smile creeping upon your face.

«Everyone is so nice and easy-going, and they made me feel comfortable even though I wasn’t meant to be here» you shrug. «You weren’t joking when you talked about them»

«Actually...» he clears his throat «I though of invating you yesterday but I- I didn’t cause I though it would be weird? I mean-»

«Jungkook, you don’t need to explain me why you didn’t invite me. Don’t justify yourself»

«I’m not» he replies fast enough to make you knit your eyebrows.

«But I’m happy you’re here now» the sound of those words are like sugar to your hypoglycemic heart, hearing them makes you feel something you never experienced, something that you missed since you were a little girl. The simple act of being happy to have someone near you and not expect anything from them is something you never witnessed, neither from your parents, even though they love you under those cold masks they wear. People always seemed to expect something from you, always. Jungkook is not telling those words without meaning them, he’s not expecting a thing from you. Not even a gift.

«Jungkook!» Hobi screams from the kitchen, tone breaking into a laughter and soon joined by others too. Jungkook shuts his eyes for a moment and then smiles before standing up from the couch. With boldness he didn’t think he has, he stretches his hand out for you to grab it, waiting with held breath and unsure dark doe-eyes staring directly into yours.

It’s a matter of seconds before you loose up and reach out to his hand, fingers intertwining with each other’s and a shudder running down your spine.

Jungkook stands still for a moment, his hand is limp against yours, he didn’t really think you’d grab his hand, not in this way. You’re not holding it to help you stand up, you’re intertwining your fingers with him. It’s different. The heat rising in your cheeks makes you feel like a teenager with her first crush and only now you realize that that’s why your heart is pounding and your brain is overthinking more than usual. You’re about to split away since he doesn’t tightens his grip on you, mentally slapping yourself for doing something like this. You’re fingers leave his and Jungkook’s chest feels suddenly more heavy. Reaching out again, he grabs your hand, fingers intertwine with yours and this time in a tight and sicure grip. His hands are a little bit sweaty for the nervousness, but so are yours. Your heart stutters, breath held as if you were free diving.

Both of you stand still for a moment before turning to look at each other, not even the time to say something that Hoseok is calling again from the kitchen.

«Jungkookie!»

«Happy birthday!» the screams fill the apartment, Jungkook’s features are priceless with his eyes squinted and his cheeks flashing red, trying as best as he can not to die under everyone’s affections.

«Blow out the candles!» Jimin shouts «I’m the one who choose the cake!»

The happiness and the intimacy in the room is so overwhelming that you feel out of place for a moment, but Taehyung grabs you by your arm and brings you closer to the group.

«Come here, embarrass him with us» he winks making you laugh. Jungkook shakes his head, he’s still at ease for the happy birthday song but he can’t fight the big bunny smile taking over his face. And when he sees you laughing with Teahyung, it takes him just a second to let go of the uncomfortable feeling in his chest only to be left with the desire of the sweet taste of the cake, and not the one on the wooden table.

Taking a deep breath he blows out the candles, eyes fixated over you making your heart skip a few beats. He doesn’t even think of a wish, all he wants it’s here tonight; the warmth of his friends, the love they feel for each other, maybe the new beginning of something, anything.

The candles die out, leaving the room in the dark for a few seconds before someone finally turns the lights on.

«Time for the presents!» Namjoon screams.

«Oh, please!» Jungkook whines and the laughters of his friends grow even more. Yoongi disappears to bring all the bags with the presents in and everyone except from Jungkook and Hoseok seats on the carpet in front of the couch even though it’s empty, you guess it’s one of their habits.

«I’m gonna cut the cake» Hobi announces turning around to face the table and start his task while Jungkook makes his way through the bodies of his friends, apparently towards you. He stops in front of you, still standing still a little bit out of place.

«You wanna sit on the couch?» he points at the sofa and you end up asking yourself why you didn’t do it sooner. You sit on the cushions, eyes fixated in front of you even when he follows you and sits beside you under everyone’s gaze, his friends staring at him before gazing away.

«Here comes the cake!» Hobi is a ray of sunshine with his bright smile while he distributes the dishes to everyone and soon enough you’re closing your eyes and letting out a whine at the taste of the sponge cake.

«It’s so good» you let out with your mouth full, words almost puzzling. Jungkook bursts out laughing and you need to gulp trying not to choke.

«Ah! See?» Jimin points at Namjoon «I choose it!» he turns to you with bright eyes and a big smile reaching his eyes.

«My taste buds are thanking you» 

Yoongi enters the room with his hands full of bags and places them beside Jungkook.

«Alright, let’s begin» he sits in front of the couch. Jungkook takes a deep breath and turns to grab the first bag.

«This is from?»

«Ugh, I forgot to write it again» Hobi murmurs making everyone laugh. Jungkook opens all the gifts, every single one of them makes you know him a little more, a little better, a little deeper. From the sweater of Hoseok to the set of products for his skincare by Jimin, they all tell you something about him. It’s Jin’s turn when he suddenly gets up from the carpet and shakes his head in the jumpiest of ways.

«Wait, wait, wait!» he almost screams. When he realizes what he’s doing he try to fake a smile. «I need to talk to you»

«What?»

«I need to talk to you» he repeats.

«Now?»

«Jungkook ya! Yes, now!» Jin looks at him with eyes widened almost as if he’s trying to communicate with him but Jungkook can’t really understand what is happening, so he just wakes up and follows Jin in another room, not a second later the hyung comes back just to bring his presence for Kookie with him.

«Alright, I’m gonna take another piece of cake» Namjoon says, her girlfriend gets up from the carpet with him to do the same. Taehyung smiles at you from the ground and quickly gets up, sitting next to you. You end up talking for at least ten minutes, conversation as fluid as the water and a comfortable feeling of naturalness you haven’t been feeling for a long time. You think you’d like to hang out with them more, they make you feel good with their positivity.

Jungkook finally comes back in the room after fifteen minutes, gaze and smile that now you can identify as nervous. He sits on the couch beside you grabbing Jin’s present again, digging in the bag until he finds it. Ripping the paper off, the new set of kitchen tools lights up his eyes. Now that the presents are all discarded, Jin looks at you.

«Do you want to go home now?»

Would that be wrong or weird if your answer was no? You glance at Jungkook, his eyes already on you.

«Wait, wait!» he bursts out, now standing up and heading out of the room. Your expression is blank until he comes back, wondering what just happened. Jin seems to smile when he see his friend rushing back with a bag in his left hand.

«Come ou- out, please?» Jungkook asks. You nod still uncertain and you follow him to the balcony, he makes sure to close the door behind you so that nobody can hear you.

Silence fills the air just for a little bit, the only sound that can be heard is the night, so peaceful and quiet, the light whistle of the wind. Jungkook is again repeating to himself that he can talk without embarrassing himself or making you feel awkward, he did it until now, kinda. He clears his throat and raises his gaze, hand scratching his neck. This can’t go worst than the first times you met, after all. It’s a simple action.

«I-» he stops without even starting.

«Am I making you nervous again?»

His expression changes, eyes widening and mouth hanging agape as he starts to shake his head.

«No, I- I mean...» he trails off and you don’t know why, but you feel the need to reassure him. So you smile at him, one of those warm smiles that makes his heart stutter and wonder if he’ll ever get to see another one, if this one doesn’t kill him. He gathers all his strength to talk through the smile that wants to take over his features.

«I’ve got your dress» he lifts his hand.

«What?»

«I’ve- I’ve got your dress. This is your dress, the dress you wanted» his cheeks are burning.

«It-it’s not my dress, it’s yours»

«I-» his eyes widen at the thought of the explanation he has to give you, so many words he wants to groan.

«I saw you liked the dress and-»

«You saw I liked the dress?»

«Yes, I mean- I was in the shop when you came in.» he claims. «I saw you looking at the dress and I thought you’d like it as an apology gift? So I- I was trying to understand the size you were looking for and praying that there was on- only one or that you’d let me buy it for you.» he quickly blurts out.

«There was, but you had already found it and I- I should’ve just walk away but I didn’t and-» he stops again.

«You know the end»

He had already told you what happened but you really didn’t think it was this, with the little details it sounds totally different. The silence makes his way again and Jungkook feels like he’s about to explode for the way his cheeks are heating up, so he’s quick to place the bag in your hands.

«I- I wanted to give it to you and I took it at the rehearsals. Jin- he mistook it for a towel and- this- this is a new one don’t worry. I tried to search for it online but apparently they only sell it in his store and Jin found it today and-»

«Thank you» you cut him off, your warm smile reaching your eyes and now setting on fire his. He’s sure he’s gonna burn by the end of this.

Opening the bag and raising your hands to look at the cloth you realize that you couldn’t care less now. It’s beautiful, but it’s just a piece of cloth. It’s the action behind it that you find more beautiful, even though you would’ve never think about it this way just a few days ago. Jungkook searched for it online, and he grabbed it from you because he wanted to buy it for you. Well, maybe he should learn how to contain himself, but it doesn’t matter. He never wanted to tease you or make you feel uncomfortable, it’s just a consequence of him being around you. And that’s exactly why he acted like that.

«I’m sorry»

«We need to stop to say that» you scoff. «I don’t care anymore, not now that I know what happened»

«So- you- you’re not mad at me?» 

«Why should I be?» you frown at him «Jungkook, I’m not. Honestly, I-» you stop talking to glance at him. And the only thing you can feel is your heartbeat raising until it’s skyrocketing, you can feel it in your ears. An insolite warmth, a weird sense of happiness you never got to really feel. And something inside you is telling you to fucking let go of your armor, break it apart and take a risk for once, just one and just now. Damn, how much you would like to know what’s the taste of his lips, of him. If only you were more bold.

«Trust me, I’m not mad at you» you almost whisper, so low you’re not even sure he heard it.

Jungkook shifts his gaze from you to the dress in your hands, and before he can stop himself the words are already leaving his mouth. 

«Do- do you want to wear it?» he wants to slap his face again.

«Now?»

«You’re right, do- don’t. I mean, if you want to wear it I-»

«Jungkook, stop talking»

You look into his dark doe-eyes fighting the urge to drown in them, but it’s just a matter of understanding it, you already are breathless and desperately swimming to get to the surface.

«I don’t think it’s the right dress code for tonight and Jin is probably waiting for me»

«I- I can give you a ride if you want? I mean, you can stay more, you know that?»

«I wouldn’t like to both-»

«You don’t.» he states, eyes never leaving yours.

«Please, stay? Just a little more. Or let me take you home?» he’s almost imploring for a little bit more of your presence, but he doesn’t care anymore, not now. There’s something inside him that doesn’t want to do anything else than let you know the effect you have on him, what a strong power.

«Alright» you breath out. «I’ll stay, but tomorrow I have to wake up at six, I’ll probably have to go in a little bit»

Jungkook nods and feels the guilt sneaking in at the same time.

«Oh, I didn’t know it. You- you can go»

«Jungkook, I’ll stay for a little bit more. Don’t worry.» you lightly scoff, his worrying for you causes a weird feeling in your chest. «I’d be happy to eat another piece of cake.» you smile.

«Plus, I like being with you» 

Jungkook feels his chest warming, the thought of him making you feel good almost sends him dizzy. He knows that he can’t answer you now, he’d just say or blubber something without any sense, so he just smiles. One of those smiles that you really don’t know what they do to you, but you can feel it.

You end up talking for another five minutes before he goes in to bring a piece of cake to share and to tell Jin he doesn’t have to leave now to take you home, you didn’t tell him if he can give you a ride, but Jin usually leaves pretty late, so it’s not a problem for him.

When he comes back again he’s sure he has never seen someone as beautiful as you. The way the light of the moon lights up your features and the shadows of the night make them look even more charming, the way the light breeze makes you hair swing.

Jungkook sits beside the table and you do the same, body facing the city lights that make you feel a little more small.

«Here» he gives you a spoon. You eat the cake, air filled with light laughters from time to time and light conversation. His presence really seems to make you feel good, lightweight. Like you haven’t felt in months. The end of the time you gave yourself quickly arrives and you end up standing up and ask him for the bathroom before you go home.

The tiredness is taking over you again, but you’re not regretting staying more, not even a little bit. Placing your phone and your purse on the washbasin you start to think of how fast things can change in just the slightest amount of time. Just a couple of days ago you thought he was trying to make fun of you with his friends, and now you’re enjoying their presence and wishing the night would last just a couple of house more, so that you could go to sleep later. But it’s not possible, so you quickly grab your purse and rush back where Jin is waiting for you. You told him before you would be leaving with him, even thought the thought of Jungkook giving you a ride home was screaming to come out, you don’t want to ruin the party by bringing away the birthday boy. Saying goodbye to everyone is like a promise of seeing each other again and you end up sharing your numbers with Namjoon’s girlfriend and with Teahyung, telling each other you’d like to hang out together.

When it’s Jungkook’s turn he hands you your bag with your dress in it knowing you left it on the balcony to go to the bathroom.

«I’ll see you tomorrow?» he asks with a low tone as if it’s a secret.

Thinking about what happened today with your car, you’re not quite sure if you’ll make it to the rehearsals tomorrow, you have to work until midday and if your boss lets you, you’d like to work overtime to save more money, you already spent a bunch of them for the tow truck and you still have to fix your car. You’re just glad your mechanic is a friend of yours and will probably give you a discount.

«I’m not sure I’ll make it, I’ll probably work overtime» you grimace. Jungkook‘s features fall a little bit but he’s quick not to show you and nods. You’re about to tiptoe and leave two pecks on his cheeks like you did with everyone when his hand reaches yours and your heart do cartwheels. Your fingers intertwine for the second time tonight and you can feel your cheeks heating up with his.

Jungkook keeps telling himself to not make you feel uncomfortable, this is a bad idea, but he really doesn’t understand you feel everything but uncomfortable right now. The warmth of his body is so close to yours that you’d like to crush in his arms without any hesitation. Looking up at him, he stares at your face, marveled by the way you make him feel before quickly tilting his head. The action is so fast you don’t have time to understand what’s happening, and in a second his lips are pressed against your forehead, gente and dangerously soft that you’d die to feel them on yours.

Without even realizing it your arm wraps around his back and he feels himself stiffening at the contact, he wasn’t expecting it, and neither his cock, now throbbing in his jeans and remembering him that its better if he lets you go. So he does so, trying to smile as best as he can and ignore the reddish of his cheeks. Thanks to God no one is watching you, or he’d be dead by now.

«Good night, Jungkook. And happy birthday.»

And so you smile at him and turn around to head to the door with Jin.

What a birthday.

It’s only the next day you realize you don’t have your phone. You want to yell at yourself for adding another piece to the puzzle of your stress. You did nothing but run like crazy for the whole morning at work and you thought that at least you could relax during your lunch break but apparently, it’s not possible. You have two free hours and you don’t have any idea about what you’re going to eat for lunch, but you repeat to yourself it doesn’t matter. You’re just praying you told the right address to the cab driver and hoping that he is home. You’re going to Jungkook’s, and the thought alone makes a fluttering sensation rush through your chest, and now you’re even more nervous. You usually wouldn’t break in people’s house like this but it’s the only way, you really need your phone today considering your car is at the mechanic’s and your parents are in the same city as you. You can’t wait until tomorrow and hope he’ll bring it to the studio, this is the only way.

When you find yourself opening the car door and taking a glance to the building in front of you it’s safe to say you feel relieved. At least the address is the right one. Your steps are smooth and you make it to the entrance door without any problem, but when you search for his name on the intercoms you suddenly feel stuck in place, your heart beating faster than usual. Repeating to yourself you need your phone, you press the button and wait for him to answer. A few seconds pass by and you’re already losing hope when finally a bzz signals that the entrance door is just being open. You expected him to ask you who you were but he simply quitted so you stare at the name on the button wondering if you should press it again. Your fingers move faster than your thoughts and a second later you’re waiting for him to answer to tell it’s you, but Jungkook seems to have a different idea and again, he just re opens the entrance door. Sighing gently and giving up, you enter the apartments and get in the elevator.

The thought of being here again is making your chest warm, so warm it feels like a summer day. Last night since the moment your head touched your pillow you thought about him shamelessly, trying to understand the way he made you feel and to categorize it in some kind of way. You found no answer, you don’t even understand yourself when you’re with him. Yesterday has been one of the worst days ever but it took him nothing to make it better for you, even with his stuttering and nervousness, he was able to make you feel... mattered? Since the moment you met him for the first time Jungkook screwed up almost every time you talked, but he always found a way of making it up, maybe with a little bit of unease and already on his way to screw up one more time, but he did. And just the simple fact he cares enough to try even though he knows you so little makes you smile and worry at the same time. You’re not used to all this attention, you’re usually the one who’s always trying to hard, at his place.

The doors open and and you have to go out to let the person in front of you get in the elevator, so you end up staring at his door.

«I’m going now!» a yell comes from inside, you don’t have time to understand whose voice it is or what it’s happening that Jimin is already standing in front of you with his eyebrow raised and a smile forming on his lips.

«Hi, Y/N»

«Jimin, stop teasing me!» Jungkook screams from inside. Jimin widens his eyes and then his lips in a shocked expression as you smile at him.

«Hi, Jimin»

Just the sound of your voice and the maknae is losing it all, rushing to the door to see if his mind played a trick on him. Apparently it didn’t, since you’re staring at him with your mouth open and your breath stuck in your throat, and Jimin has pretty much the same expression.

Why are you... Oh-

«Fuck, I’m sorry» his cheeks heat up and Jimin shuts his eyes as Jungkook realizes he’s not wearing his shirt, fast enough to run to his bedroom that he could challenge the wind. His friend shakes his head.

«I should go, see you» he holds the door open for you to enter and then goes out with a warm smile. The second he shuts it you’re left in a house that now seems ten times bigger than yesterday night, maybe for the lack of people, maybe for the silence. Or maybe because you feel so little in this moment you wouldn’t be surprised if someone stepped on you.

«I’m sorry to break in your apartment like this» you speak out loud, not sure if he hears you. Jungkook bites his lips.

«I forgot my phone and-»

«Here» he shows up from the corner of the short hallway, your phone in his hand.

«Thank you» you grab it and put it in your purse.

«I charged it for you yesterday night»

«Oh, really?» he nods. You smile as another thank you and Jungkook opens his mouth to speak when a low grr fills the air and this time it’s you the one with your cheeks reddening.

«Are- are you hungry?» What a stupid question, of course you are. «I made some pasta if you want it»

«I should be back to work in an hour and a half and I’m not sure I have the time to eat, I have to wait for a cab too»

«I- I can take you? If you want?» he licks his lips. «It’d save you time and the pasta is ready»

He’s right, and your stomach is dying to be filled.

«Alright» you nod and he smiles triumphant, the way his eyes seem to smile at your words makes you wonder.

«Why are you so kind to me?»

Jungkook’s smile turns into a slight pout that makes you want to peck his lips as he raises his eyebrows.

«What do you mean?»

You struggle to find the right words. «I- You... you always try to help me or worry about me, even for little things like when we went to the cafe and you kept on asking me if I wanted to switch drinks. When things become awkward it’s because you try to make a good impression and fail, but you’re always trying.» the tone you’re using makes Jungkook grimace. He can tell you’re not used to this from the way you’re shifting your weight from foot to foot as you speak.

How can he explain it to you? How can he tell you he’s so head over heels for you he can’t even think of stop trying? Jungkook bites the petal of his lips furiously as his mind tries to find the right answer, but there is not and he lets out a strangled groan as he realizes it.

« I... I- I really like you» 

Your expression is blank, totally. His words almost seem not to touch you as he studies every part of your face for a reaction.

«You’re not used to this, ri- right?» he scratches the back of his neck.

«I’m really not» you breath out. Jungkook knits his brows together.

«Do you- you want me stop it?»

«I-» you shake your head «I don’t think so? I’m really not used to it, Jungkook. It may sound incredibly stupid but I never had someone who asked me if I wanted to switch drinks just because he wanted me to taste the best one and not to actually steal it from me.»

«Well, now you have me» his words are firm, so incredibly firm it makes you clench your jaw, and his eyes are the same.

«I- I charged your phone because I was worried you would need it today and couldn’t use it. I’m offering you a ride because I like spending time with you, I don’t want something in return other than you, your time.» his voice his calm and his shoulders seem to loose with every word he says as if he’s letting go of a heavy weight.

It’s all striking you in a second, and the hit is so hard you end up holding your breath. It’s not really the fact he likes you that makes you this stunned, it’s the fact he actually cares. Your parents never showed their affection to you without expecting you to give them something back, wether it was a high grade or a good impression on your neighbors, and when you stopped trying to always give back something their affections towards you had simply stopped, replaced by fake “honey” and other nice words just to cover the fact they didn’t really believe in you enough to show it. And with your friends and coworkers is pretty much the same, always waiting for something in return.

The sudden realization makes your eyes tingle and you vision blurry.

«I’m sorry»

Jungkoook shakes his head and gets closer, the thought that no one ever cared enough to show you how much you matter or acted just for the simple intent of doing something for you and not actually for them wrecks him apart. His mind flies back to when Seokjin told him about your parents and how they acted or spoke to you, he can clearly see the weight of every single word of them in your shiny eyes now, hurting you and making you question his good actions just because you’re used to the most selfish ones. It makes him want to bury you with attention, show you that people can do something for others too and not just to feed their egoistic side.

«Come here» it’s as low as a whisper, but you don’t hesitate a second to let his arms wrap around you, hiding your face on his shirt and soaking it with the tears that are now streaming down your face. His grip is tight and you can hear the stuttering of his heart against your ear, one of his hands gets to your hair and starts to softly, sweetly stroking at them to make you calm down just a little bit, head tilted over yours. His heart is aching seeing you like this.

«I’m sorry»

«Shh, stop saying that. We apologize too much» he holds you even tighter as you fist his shirt in your hands. Jungkook leaves a soft kiss in your hair and your heart skips a beat at the intimacy of the action. It’s only then that you realize you’re really letting someone see this side of you, the one you always try to hide because it’s to fragile to break, the one you hide even from yourself.

Slightly tilting your head upwards to lock eyes with him, Jungkook tries as best as he can to smile at you, even though his chest is has heavy as yours. His hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs caress your skin and wipe your tears away.

«Jungkook»

«Yes?»

«Please, kiss me»

His lips crush onto yours, Jungkook groans at the feeling and you instantly bring one of your hand in his locks as he tastes the salty taste left by the tears. As you lightly bite the petal of his lower lips Jungkook feels like he’s dreaming, and he prays not to wake up. His tongue slides in your mouth, wet and warm against yours, tracing and exploring each other and making you slightly tug at his locks, he moans in your mouth and brings one of his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to his body. The kiss is passionate, so damn needy, but not only in a sexual way. You need love, affection. Jungkook is more than welcome to help you with that, letting you waste all of your insecurities and frustrations on him until you feel completely dried, left with nothing but the realization of his taste on your lips, his hands against your skin, his embrace around you, him. And you need to push away to take it in, letting his forehead hover over yours and his heavy breath crush down on your face. His eyes are looking into yours and they make you feel things you now are able to categorize as humanly impossible, so dark and deep but so bright at the same time, lips still brushing against yours as you both take deep breaths. The frustration in your body is gone, your tears are dried, the only thing left is the need you feel to have him again on you, the desperate desire to taste him again. His mind prepares to the thought of a possible rejection, the idea you begged for him to kiss you just to drift your thoughts away storms his mind but he repeats to himself that whatever thing will come, this was definitely worth it. He’ll just have to face the fact that he just got only one bite of the cake. How can he even believe in it? Your lips are addicting, and he’s already craving for more.

«I could get used to this» you whisper. Jungkook never felt so relieved in all his life than now, letting out a shaky breath heavier than the others.

«Please, do it» he whines making you giggle and bring your lips on his again. This kiss is different from the other, more slow, more sweet, more intimate in a different way cause it’s just about you two. There aren’t emotions to run away from and to waste on the other, the only emotions are the ones you feel for each other. His lips move cautiously on yours as if he wants to taste every single part of you and imprint in his mind, your hand leaves his hair just to reach his neck and then his cheek, resting on his jaw. When you move away he rests his forehead again on yours and tilts down just to leave a few more sweet pecks on your lips, totally addicted to your taste. As you look at him you think this man we’ll send you out of your mind, if he didn’t already.

«Could you get used to me caring about you too?» he breathes. Your smile is bittersweet.

«It might take me a little bit» you answer. Jungkook strokes your cheek with his thumb, showing his bunny smile and making your chest a warmer and happier place.

«Then we’ll practice together, uh?»

«I’d like that»