#might replay it and get the dialogue myself

[bbhq]

is there any source for full task transcripts anywhere? i would love to go through sbtf's again

[oh-meow-swirls]

was looking through old posts and i'm surprised to see that i seemingly didn't have any commentary on anything in 3 in chapter 7, 8 or 9, the posts related to 3's story go from "my first reaction when i saw yopple-bot was 'i love you. but also you are definitely the boss for this chapter-'" to "i have been in hell all day. hell being bada-bing tower." funny to me cuz those chapters are like, the best ones sdfkljsdfjfsdkjlfsdjkl-

[loregoddess]

finished Dragoon again ~

Actually timed myself for the final boss fight bc a coworker was talking about the "hour long final boss" and I was like...pretty sure I only take about 30 minutes, and indeed, even with the longass attack animations, it took me about 35 minutes

I didn't even get to use up all the powerful magic I'd saved up...

[leofrith]

replaying the wincestre arc and having sudden unexpected war flashbacks to the aelfred section of tlc 🧍🏻‍♀️

[just-some-random-blogger]

The Supreme Empress

Kylo Ren x Reader

Summary: The dark side chose you. They pried you out of the rebel camps and dragged you from the ashes and the corpses of your family. The dark side chose you to strengthen the force, to be the vessel for their plans, to be the bride of the Supreme Leader's pupil, to bear Kylo Ren's seed and ensure the might of their divine wrath.

Word Count: 11k+ 🧍‍♀️💀

Warnings: fem!Reader, slow burn, forced marriage AU, themes of stockholm syndrome/gaslighting/brain washing, mentions/depictions of violence, enemies to lovers?, smut (scratching, marking, ?manipulating?, fingering, vaginal penetration, cock warming), fluff, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: this fucking ai chat man. fuck that shit MINORS DNI honestly. its my fault for making a plot. i just wanted to write smut fml. i hate it here. i couldn't even finish it cos now i cant write the smut dafaq? anyway im sure i got typos so you must forgive me. i have not gone through this yet and i need to brush my teeth and pull myself together bye Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx

I fell to my knees. I was in tears, in dust, in blood, and in pain. My wrists were bound behind me and my clothes were tattered and torn.

This was it. This was the day I die. I felt it in my bones. This was the reckoning.

And then my deliverer, my executioner, came before me. And then I felt the Force in him echo in the room and ripple through me like a blade through my chest.

It was him. The phantom that haunted me every time I closed my eyes. He was the nightmare in my sleep, and the damning voice in my head in the morning. The dark warrior, death given form, the murmuring voice of the shadows.

The Sith Lord.

Here he is, crossing this bridge from the entrance of this cursed compound.

The place is busy, busy with its plans of destruction. I heave at the grandness of it all. It was terrifying to see it up close, especially since I was evidently at the top, and it was a very long drop down.

I crane my neck up at him, face stained with tears. I was exhausted but I put on my last show. I bared my last look of defiance before he kills me, before he finally completes this cycle of torment he has been inflicting onto me.

I close my eyes and await his judgement.

I feel him come before me, but he instead walks past, and I hear someone choke from behind.

"Did I not instruct that she be left unharmed?" his voice barks through his dark mask.

My heart pounds as I hear straining from behind me. I steal a look from over my shoulder and instantly regret it when I see the two stormtroopers that dragged me here get thrown down the side of the bridge. I shudder. Like I said, it's a long drop down.

I look straight when he returns to me. I feel him undo my shackles with his Force, and then... he clutches my arm to help me stand.

I look up at him. I see my reflection on his helmet. I clench my jaw, "what do you want from me?"

"My empress-"

My stomach rolls.

"-I have finally retrieved you from your sullied camp to bring you to your rightful place next to me. To claim you as my own."

A shiver runs down my spine.

No, this can't be real.

My breathing strains. I grip my hands and I begin to step back.

It electrocutes me, this searing cold voice in my brain. It was a suddenly as if I remembered the dialogue in the horrors of my slumber that I so hardly tried to suppress. It was replaying now, the voice of the malevolent, the voice of the creature ruling my nightmares. "I give you to my pupil. With your Force converged with his, the purest of warriors will be borne. And my power will know no bounds."

"You remember now, bride," my captor iterated, "that voice in your head right now-- that is the Supreme Leader; that is Snoke."

I step back, "bride?" my breath hitches.

I was his b--

My knees almost give in, but again, his hold on my arm keeps me upright.

I feel my eyes begin to water.

Please, please, let this be another horrible, horrible nightmare.

"Is everything prepared?"

"Yes, my lord," two voices call out from behind me.

"Good," he says, and I released, "I will watch as you prepare her. I will not allow her be injured further."

I was--

I was here to be sacrificed to the darkness.

I was here to answer to the calls that have been plaguing me for so long, ever since that day my home planet was invaded, ever since everything I knew was reduced to atoms.

I let out a loud yelp when I am splashed with cold water. I let out a breathy curse and the servant who had done it, who had profusely apologized, is suddenly being choked.

It is only now I am cognizant again. It was now that I was aware I am in the bathroom, stripped naked in a tub, and my captor has his servant in a chokehold from across the room. I gasp and cover my bare chest, looking over my shoulder as he hisses, "you could not have made the water warmer? How would you like to be dunked in a pool of ice water?"

My breath hitches, "let her go!"

His voice buzzes behind his helmet as he curls his hand further with his outstretched arm, "she has one task, one simple task, and if she cannot perform it, then she is no use to me."

I panic as I see the servant's eyes water. I jolt when the other servant grabs my shoulder and begins to wash my skin as though nothing was awry. I turn from the servant back to him, "LET HER GO!"

He does nothing.

"LET. HER. GO!"

He seems to be debating my words.

I panic and quip breathlessly, "let her go!"

I sigh in relief when the servant is dropped.

A shiver runs down my spine when he goes at ease by the door. He clutches his hands before him and announces, "thank your empress for her mercy."

Immediately, before she can even catch her breath, the servant responds, "th-ank you, empress." The woman quickly begins to attend to me again.

I am far beyond perturbed.

I don't know what to do with myself, not when I was being bathed by strangers, not when I naked in the tub, not when he was there, watching me.

Why the fuck did that sicko have to watch like a bird in a fucking cage?

Careful, bride.

I stiffen in my place. The servants working on my body halt their work and ask me if their touch was too rough.

Lest you forget I have also been in your dreams. You ought to honor me even in your thoughts, baby bird.

"... my empress?" one servant calls.

"She is fine," he answers for me, "you may proceed."

And then, I'm being dragged out of the tub and patted down in front of a huge mirror. I don't know what to cover, and I can feel him looking. Never mind my naked form in and of itself, but my cuts and bruises from ripping and screaming at the stormtroopers that pried me into their ship. It was loathsome sight to see.

"Must you watch me?" I ask accusingly yet under my breath.

"Yes," he replies, as if it makes anything better, as if it was actually a question, as if he didn't know what I meant with my words. And then he clarifies, as if it helped, "your physical state does not bother me. It does not make you any less than you are, my bride."

My eyes twitch as I am finally handed undergarments to wear. I find my voice again, finally, "that's not the-"

"My pretty bride."

I cease my movements. What the fuck is he saying?

I don't have time to ponder those words as the servants urge me to dress and then quickly begin to fasten me with bandages, namely on my thigh where I had a cut and on my bicep that had a burn.

And though I so badly wanted to whine in protest and dramatic spite, I do my best to contain them. After all, the servants were helping me, they don't need to be Force choked for doing a job they were tasked to accomplish by their malignant master.

The next moment, I was being put into an elaborate garment and then they started painting on my face. Suddenly, I was.... turning into something else. I looked at the mirror and everything was so very real and unimaginable all at once. This was all happening to me. This wasn't a nightmare, not a fever dream, and there was no escape.

And then they told him- my groom- that I was done and I stared at my reflection, unable to recognize myself.

Who in the world were you?

"Come," he says, raising his hand up to me, "we must not delay any further."

I look at his reflection from the mirror. I look at his hand, hid behind his glove, his body, hid behind his cloak, and his face, hid behind his mask. I was going to me wed to this stranger, hidden in darkness?

I stare at him. I clench my jaw. I tell him I'm not going but utter not a single word. I sear it in his brain with my eyes. I scream it, blare it out as loudly as I could.

And yet he only watches me. He watches me with an urging dark hand.

My heart pounds in my ribs. I expect him to begin to lash out at one point, to choke me next, but he doesn't. He stands there, just stands there, reaching out to me.

Was this his twisted way of making me feel like I was willingly going to him? His way of telling me he was the only route in my life now?

My nostrils flare and I gather my skirt. I stare at him as I walk past him. My body was rigid and I had no idea where I was going, but I walked. And then he opened the doors for me.

My hand twitched when he took it, as he was suddenly beside me. I gasp at the unexpected and uninvited touch and I turn to him in surprise, but it is arduous with this ridiculous headpiece on me. His hand is massive and burning hot against my freezing clammy one. He tugs me toward him, "it's this way."

So, we when go this way.

We tread the halls, and I swear I could feel people following after us, more and more each moment, but I couldn't look back, literally, the fucking headpiece was in the way.

And then the atmosphere started to get darker, and it was like it was suddenly so much harder to breathe. It was clear to me we were heading for that large door, and that whatever was behind there was not good. It was not good at all.

He waved his hands once and the doors opened.

There was a great and terrible rush of Force that knocked into me. It was so strong and terrifying, I tighten my grip on my captor, and I cling onto him for safety. My breath is knocked out of my lungs, and all at once I am facing this large entity, this massive body of darkness, the literal flesh form of all my worst nightmares.

I was reeling back in fear. My stomach was in my chest and my heart was in my mouth.

I was in front of him. The Supreme Leader. Snoke.

And he was looking at me, looking right at me with contempt, with impatience, with exasperation.

My feet were stuck on the floor and my fingers were digging into arm of the man by my side. I couldn't do anything but feel my eyes water.

I snap to look my side when my name is called out. I turn to my groom as suddenly he is pacifying me, comforting me even, "the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can leave."

I don't know how I feel about his words, I don't know how I feel about how he takes my chin in his fingers and makes me turn my body to him. I don't know how I feel when he steadies my stupid headpiece when it knocks onto his shoulder. I don't know how I feel when I follow him mindlessly, when he and I head towards his gargantuan master.

Snoke speaks the moment we are in front of him. His voice rings, it reverberates, in the hall, in my ears, in my thorax, and in the dark corner of my mind that shudders at the recognition, "you have done well, my pupil. Very well."

My eyes lock with Snoke. I evade his stare and abruptly pull away from the man on my right. He stares at me for a moment when I do so, then looks back at Snoke, "thank you, master."

Snoke grumbles, "well, remove that ridiculous thing on your head and let us begin."

I don't know whether it is because I am fearful of the evil-king before me or because I am anticipative of the face of the man behind the mask, but I turn to him with a desperation. I turn to him when he removes his helmet and my breath catches in my throat.

He tucks his helmet under his arm and looks at me with his brown eyes that glistened with something sinister behind them. He parted his lips and I noticed the scar by its side that started by his brow went far past his cheek and collar. His hair was somehow perfectly tousled even after staying inside his face cage for so long. I don't know how I felt after seeing him face to face like this.

I suck in a sharp breath when he takes my hand. He promptly begins to speak.

"I-" he turns to our joined hands as he lifts them chest level, "Kylo Ren," his eyes dart back to me, "take you-"

My skin pricks at how he whispers my name. He says it as if it were a secret, as if he meant it with reverence, as if it was solemn.

"-to be my wife."

My empress.

I suck in a sharp breath at his voice in my head. My breath picks up. My stomach rolls. Get out.

Kylo Ren rubs my knuckles, "To protect you, to honor you, to venerate you until my last breath, or even beyond."

And then he looks at me. He stares at me. He bores into my being and plunges into my soul. I feel my hands begin to shake in his hold.

Kylo Ren looks in silence and I look in fear.

I start at the harsh call of the Supreme Leader to our side, "SPEAK YOUR VOWS, GIRL!"

I screw my eyes shut and gulp. I have to get out of here. Get me out of here! My breath strains now more than ever.

Suddenly, I hear a soft voice in my head. Suddenly, I dare to open my eyes and I see a disconcerting softness in my groom's expression.

Shhhhhhh.

He hushes me in my mind. He repeats his words from earlier.

The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can leave.

I open my mouth and huff helplessly. I repeat my groom's words and tears begin to fall from my eyes.

Snoke leans back in his throne and tents his hands together, "good, good. Then by the power of the darkness, the power vested in me, The Supreme Leader, the ruler of the galaxies and all peoples," he nods his head, "two have now become one."

My shoulders rise and my heart pounds at the explosion of loud exclamations. I look around the hall and only now realize that there were hundreds of individuals, looking down at us from the balconies above.

"Long live the Emperor and Empress!"

I am at a loss for what to do next. I don't know if I want to run away or drop dead. I find myself looking to Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren, whose brows slightly furrow in his seriousness. Kylo Ren who looks up to his people and raises his hand that is clutching his helm, inspiring them to cheer even more. Kylo Ren, who then looks down at me and firmly grips my hands before leading me out of the room.

I don't know what happens after that.

I think I'm having a panic attack.

Am I having a panic attack?

Can someone even think if they're having a panic attack?

I'm not having a panic attack.

I'm not having a panic attack.

"Enough," he speaks, turning to me, clutching my cheek. Kylo Ren looks at me with knit brows while his gloved hands make me face him. My neck strains because of the weight of my headpiece. He blinks at me and slips the thing off my head. A weight is lifted off my shoulders. Very suddenly, I think I'd have preferred if he removed my head altogether. He uses his Force to bring the object away. I watch as it floats off to a dresser, beside his helmet that was already there.

All at once, I realize I was in a bedroom. I look back at Kylo in horror. Oh, fuck, I was in a bedroom.

He huffs through his nostrils, "your thoughts are as loud as sirens."

I clutch my skirt tightly and slowly begin to move back.

Kylo watches me. He tilts his head down slightly and narrows his eyes.

I swallow the lump in my throat, "so what?" I shudder, "you're going to force an heir in me now?"

He raises his nose and tilts his head to the side, "it is my duty to sire an heir."

I gulp. My breathing begins to get shorter and shorter.

I start when he steps forward. I put more distance between us.

I shiver when he calls out my name.

"Don't," I point, "don't come any closer."

Kylo Ren offers me the courtesy of stopping in his place.

I catch my breath and watch him as he brings his hands behind him. Goosebumps form on my skin when he speaks, "I have just vowed to protect you, to honor you, and to venerate you." He brings his hands to the clasp of his cloak, "I will not force you to do anything with me that you don't want."

I scoff, tightening my grip on my clothes, "and you think I wanted to marry you?!"

I tense when Kylo unfastens his cloak and folds it in front of him. I freeze in my spot in anticipation of what he's going to do next. He looks at his cloak then looks at me, "you do not understand it now, but you are the key to securing the strength the Sith, securing the Order."

A shiver runs down my spine. How can he say that so plainly?

I cannot comprehend how utterly indoctrinated this ideation is in his being. It is shocking honestly, to see up close and personal that he believes so much in his cause, that he genuinely does not see fault in this, in forcing me to marry him, in taking me by force, in destroying my camp, in laying waste to my people, on wreaking their ill-judgement to the stars.

I shake my head, "do you honestly believe I will eventually come to you with- with open arms?!"

Kylo Ren straightens his posture. I nearly trip when he walks over to me as I attempt to rush back. He raises two fingers and keeps me upright with his Force. He keeps me in place and stands before me. He leans his face close to mine, then barely opens his mouth to speak, "I do."

And then, he releases me and walks away.

I watch him as he exits the room and leaves me. The sound of the door closing is all that's left.

I begin to pant. I begin to heave in anger, in loss, in panic, in desperation. I have to get o-

I slap my hands on my mouth. I screw my eyes shut and shudder.

Silent. I have to be silent.

The next day he asked me to accompany him while he ate.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, he said, I should join him, so that we would both grow accustomed to each other's company during such intimate moments, and that we would also get to know each other more.

I scoffed at the idea, so much for not forcing me to do anything I don't want.

"I am not forcing you, wife," Kylo calls across the expanse of the long table.

My eyes that were idly watching my fork swirl the unknown delicacy on my plate dart to him. My shoulders tense as Kylo Ren grabs his glass and drinks from it.

I huff, "do you mind getting out of my head?" I ask though it wasn't really a question, it was a threat, as much of a threat a captive could give.

Kylo sets the object down and taps his finger on it, "if you don't want to join me..." he thinks for a moment, "you don't have to."

I straighten in my seat. I silently look out to him in challenge.

I stiffen when the pitcher begins to float and water is then poured in my cup. I clench my jaw, turning back to Kylo, finding his raised finger.

"I would prefer if you dined with me though," he says, putting the pitched back down.

I turn to my food, idly pushing it around again, "I would prefer if I dined by myself... in my-" our "-room."

I hear him exhale. I hear the contact of his cutlery on his plate, "a disappointing conclusion."

I slowly avert my eyes from my food to him. He is now focused on his own plate. He mumbles, "but I will allow it."

The next day, I am woken to eat breakfast and urged to get out of bed. I explain to servant I was allowed to eat in my room and that I don't want to eat yet. I scoff in disbelief when I am told I am meant to tour the place with the master, with that damned Kylo Ren, and is thus advised to get ready.

And so I did. I got ready and went into the dining room and interrupted his breakfast. If I can't have peace, neither can he.

Kylo turns to me and nods, "wife."

I clench my teeth, "tour me now," I huff, "I'm not hungry, so tour me now."

He turns back to his food and seemingly debates my words for a moment. He then stands from his seat and puts on his helmet, leading me out of the room. If I could burn holes onto his back with my eyes, he'd have been nothing but charcoal.

I suppose I should have given more attention to his tour than I did because knowing the place would surely benefit me when I make my attempt to esc-

"Are you certain you're not hungry?" Kylo Ren asks out of the blue as he leads me down the weapons room, "you're quite snippy and demanding. I would assume that's because you're hungry, baby bird."

I can't help but scoff at his mockery, "or, this is just how I am," I mumble, "so don't act like you know me." I aimlessly look at all the weapons on display, weapons meant to destroy others like me.

But I do know you.

I avert my gaze to him. I stiffen as I glare.

"I have been in your mind and seen the depths of your soul," he mutters, "and I know you're irritable because you're hungry."

And then he conjures up a tin-wrapped object in front of me.

"Here," he gives me the item using his Force, "you can eat this while we walk back to our chambers."

My lips curl in disgust, "is this meant to be enticing?"

He tilts his helmet clad head, "it's meant to be my lunch for later," he grabs the floating object, then my wrist, placing the silver thing on my palm.

I tense in his touch and I am glad he doesn't linger long there. I look at his would-have-been lunch then turn back to him, seeing my scowling reflection on his dumb helmet, "what an honor to know I won't be poisoned since this is apparently yours."

"It is mine," he rebuts rather impatiently.

I roll my eyes and shove it into his chest, "if you want me to be less irritable, let me go back to my chambers." I catch myself when I say this. It sounds like I want to be in that damned cage, instead of outside of this compound. I correct myself, "or better yet, let me go."

Kylo Ren places his lunch in pocket that I didn't know he had, "We will continue this tour tomorrow."

And so we did. This time, he made sure to have someone come to me after I ate.

I must say, perhaps he was partially correct in the fact I was irritable because I was hungry. I did find him more bearable today, as far as forced husbands and captors go. But then again perhaps it was because he was touring me in the biggest library I have ever seen.

I couldn't even feign disinterest as he motioned to each area of the place and explained they were arranged by planet of origin.

I was far too busy craning my neck up to see how high the bookshelves reached that I bump into one. Or at least I thought it was a bookshelf and not fucking Kylo Ren. I jolt when I look at him, firstly because we had a collision, secondly because he magically didn't have his helmet on anymore.

I reel back as he looks down at me, on I think a more figurative sense if anything.

I am immediately uncomfortable under his gaze. I mutter, "sorry."

"You have questions," he mutters. He turns to me and lifts his chin, "ask them."

I evade his stare. Don't tell me what to do.

"I'm not telling you what to do," Kylo Ren retorts after hearing my thought.

I turn back to him. I snort and grumble, "stay out of my head."

He looks up at the shelves and then looks down at me with his eyes, "a hundred layers."

I pull my head back and scoff in disbelief, "the shelves have a hundred layers?" I look over my shoulder haphazardly, "seems unnecessary hard to manage."

"Well," he brings his head down, "it hosts knowledge from peoples across over the stars. It must be capable of securing the vastness."

When I look back at him, I tense when I see he has come far too close to me. It would have been wise to pull away, perhaps to even shove him off to get my point across, but somehow, I find his proximity as a challenge. I grit my teeth and narrow my eyes at him, "undoubtedly stolen, plucked from the rubble of your destruction."

A chill rushes up my spine when he smirks at me. It remains lopsided and smug as he whispers "I don't feel the need to preserve artifacts from a race that is unable to see the glory of my purpose."

That's it. I begin to slowly step away from him.

"Do you want to know how these shelves are managed?"

"No, I really-"

I make a sound when he grabs me and locks me against his chest. Before I can even begin to fight back, I find my feet get lifted off the ground along with him. Next thing I know, I'm gasping and clinging onto him for dear life.

"Put me down," I gasp against his chest as I seal my arm tightly against him.

He chuckles as we continue to float up. He tightens his grip on me as I feel myself begin to slip. He flexes his feet and pushes them beneath mine. I look up at him as I step on his boots.

"This is how you manage them," he iterated, then motioning to his side, "or you use the ladder."

I scoff in disbelief, grabbing onto his collar, "put me down, Kylo."

He blinks at me, lips curing into a bigger smile, "alright."

He slowly bringing me down and I tense when he clutches my waist and speaks out my name.

I look away from him and watch as the floor nears. By the time it was close enough, I jump off him and walk away.

Kylo Ren watches and chuckles, "the exit is the other, baby bird."

I stop in my tracks and glare at him. He does not waste time and walks up to me. My breath hitches when he does, reeling over the look on his face. He moves past me and walks away.

I watch him as he does so, and then an idea strikes me. I debate my chances on living here and convincing the servants to get me food... a bucket-

"Don't be ridiculous. I will throw you over my shoulder if you will not follow," Kylo Ren announces. He stops in his tracks and looks over to me, "you are my empress, not my captive, even though you feel that way."

I watch him as he raises his hand to me, reaching out to me again like on the day of our wedding, except this time, I could see his eyes and is pouty lips. I huff through my nostrils and grip my fists. I walk over to him glaring at him all the way until I move past him.

Kylo watches, a glint in his eye as he does.

I hear him chuckle.

The next day, I woke up, realizing I was allowed to sleep in. That got me tremendously excited, and so I quickly began to ready myself to begin my attempts at an esca-

I slap my hand on my mouth and release a deep breath from my nostrils.

I take a few more moments and ready to exit my chambers.

The moment I'm about to exit though, I am faced with a servant. I tense at the sight of her but offer her a pinched smile, "Rezba."

Rezba nods and walks in with a tray of food, "please eat before you leave. I will be scolded if I am found to failed to feed you."

Dammit, Rezba.

I sigh, turning to my feet. I watch the woman as she walks off and sets the table. She was one of the servants that helped prepare me on my... wedding day, the one that didn't get choked. As for the one that was, I have not seen or heard from her ever since.

My conscience presses on me every time I think of this. I sigh, walking over to her. I sit down on the chair by the table and smile, "thank you, Rezba. You can go now."

Rezba nods, "as you wish, empress."

I wipe my face as he walked away. I quickly stuff my face with the food. I mean, after all, if I manage what I do, I'll need all the food I can get.

The moment I was done, I exit my chambers and head outside with purpose. I nod at the personnel that greet me and make sure to keep my mask of confidence as I make it to the launch pad.

I practically beam when I see a ship ready for the picking. But then I feel a force surge through me.

"Fuck."

My bride.

I turn over my shoulder in horror. Lo behold, the dark mask of my groom, strutting over to me with troops behind him.

"Come to visit me?" he muffles out behind his helmet.

I clench my jaw and turn to him, doing my best not to roll my eyes.

Somehow, I can see his smirk underneath as he speaks, "you didn't even change out of your nightclothes."

I let out a strangled sound as I turn to the two people behind Kylo. One had red hair and one was as clad in uniform as the Supreme Lord.

"This is General Hux and Captain Phasma," Kylo motions to the two of them.

I hum, "yes... hello," I smile without meeting my eyes, "well, now that I've... seen my husband, I'm... I'm going back to my chambers."

The two behind Kylo nod at me. I try not be so annoyed as I walk away.

Next time you plan to escape, you should probably change into something that would protect you from the harshness of space.

I grit my teeth and snap over my shoulder, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

General Hux recoils at my voice. Kylo Ren chuckles under his breath.

The next day, I have no such luck of escaping at all.

"Don't you have some-" I quip over my shoulder as Kylo tails me like the dark shadow he was, "-I don't know... planet to blow up," my voice gets increasingly smaller as I say this and hear myself.

Kylo Ren, in one of the rare occurrences he did not have his helmet on, stops to look at me. He presses his lips together, "do you have a pla-"

"No!" I raise hands, "forget that I said that... please."

I turn away from him and begin to tread deeper into the halls of the library.

I hear him snort behind me, "I don't want you to continue to delude yourself into thinking escaping is an option. It would just be a waste of both our time if you do so."

I roll my eyes and shake my head, "and I don't want to delude you in thinking that I would ever stop trying to escape you."

I actually stop in my tracks when I hear him laugh out loud. I turn over to him in great offence as he then turns to me with bright eyes.

I seethe with venom, "I'm glad one of us finds this funny."

He straightens himself up and crosses his arms, "it's funny how you fail to see how alike we are."

My face drops in horror. I march over to him and point a finger at him, "we are nothing alike!"

I jolt when he grabs my wrist and pushes my hand down. The amusement in his face falters and shifts into something else, "aren't we, my empress?"

My heart begins to pound. I pull away from him and recoil.

My breathing begins to pick up as I rub my wrist.

Kylo watches me and makes up for the space between us by walking forward, "did that hurt you?"

"Does it matter if it did?" I quip.

His face softens yet his brows tighten, "it does."

I scoff.

"I am not the monster you make me out to be."

I scoff again as I continue to walk back, "oh yeah, then what ar-" I gasp when I hit something. I panic and turn, seeing it was the step ladder. I have no choice but to halt as Kylo presses nearer. I swallow the lump on my throat as I look at his face.

I will myself not to be so affected by his presence.

I clench my jaw.

My willpower is not very effective.

"I am your husband," he mutters.

I freeze when he brings his hands to my side, though he does not touch me. His eyes dart to my hands that I clutch to my chest. He releases a breath, "I want to bring order to the galaxy."

A shiver runs down my spine, "Kylo..."

His eyes lock on mine. I even my breathing.

I shake my head and knit my brows, "do you genuinely think," I speak softly with no hint of malice, "that killing billions is order?"

His jaw tightens. He drops his hands to his side, "it is an necessary stake for the greater good-"

"Greater good?!" I quip under my breath, grabbing onto his cheeks. I look at him with wide eyes as he looks at me with a similar shocked expression, "you believe razing through the stars is the greater good?"

My whole body pricks when he takes my wrists in his hands and whispers, "my love."

I suck in a sharp breath.

"You do not understand it now," he explains, shaking his head, "but everything that I am, everything that I do," his voice becomes really quiet, "is for us."

My expression drops where his softens.

"For our future," he whispers, "for our next generation and after."

"Kylo-"

"I do it because I believe in our cause," he cuts me off, "I do it because without us, the galaxy will never know anything but chaos."

My breath begins to strain.

He releases one wrist and reaches out for my face, "I will do all it takes, and give you all the time to understand this."

Mu face burns at the feel of his gloved hand. I shake my head, "why?"

"Because you are my star, my burning destiny," he mutters, "the Force brought you to me. I felt you that day on your home planet, you were so strong, you were so strong and so misguided. I tried to kill you that day, but you got away."

My eyes begin to water. I begin to relive that day in my head.

"Then I dreamt about you, I dreamt about how you escaped me and how I hated that you did. Snoke saw it. He saw you in my head. He saw your drive. He saw your weakness. He saw what you could become. And then, he said I burned because you were meant to be mine. He said our Forces were calling for each other, which was why I could not stop dreaming about you."

I begin to tremble against him.

He clutches my face with both hands, "don't be afraid. It took me a while to understand it as well, but-"

"Kylo-" I shudder, "you don't dream of me because I'm your bride, you dream of me because of him!"

He stills.

"Don't you see?" I pant, "he's manipulating you. The dark side is mani-"

"If anyone has been manipulated, it is you, baby bird," he grunts, "you were indoctrinated with beliefs that are short sighted and weak. I would not-"

He doesn't finish and turns his head to the side when a voice of a stormtrooper buzzes through the hall, "apologies for the interruption, my lord. I was tasked to escort you to the throne room, the Supreme Leader is summoning you."

Kylo Ren turns to face him. I suck in a breath as suddenly, he grabs my hand and pulls me with him as we walk past the stormtrooper, "an escort won't be necessary."

If I wasn't shaking a while ago, I surely was now, and Kylo Ren could feel it. Kylo stole looks over his shoulder. I did nothing but try to even my breath as we tread the hall.

I could feel him holding onto me with his Force, trying to contain me almost... trying to comfort me.

I tense when he releases my hand in lieu of draping his arm over my shoulder, "he will not touch you. He will not harm you," he mutters as I look up at him. He stares straight as we continue walking, "I will make it a point to keep this brief. You have nothing to worry about."

I wanted his words to comfort me, I wanted him to be able to comfort me so badly. And yet when I was face to face with his master, I couldn't even muster the courage to put my faux brave face on. He pulled away from me and pushed me behind him as he greeted the being.

"Why do you continue to disappoint me so, Kylo Ren?" Snoke inquires with a voice of disdain.

This had something to do about me, I am sure of it.

"I am doing everything you asked me," Kylo retorts rather simply.

"And I gave you a bride, yet still you have no efforts for an heir!" he accuses, "must I teach you even in the ways of the flesh, boy?!"

Kylo clenches his fist, he mumbles, "no."

"THEN DO YOUR DUTY!"

"I am making sure everything is perfect for her. She cannot bear me and heir if she is damaged or scared," Kylo retorts.

Snoke tilts his head, "and are you trying to say that has something to do with me?"

"I am SAYING-" Kylo Ren starts, raising his voice as he did. In my shock, I pull back at his cloak, not wanting to feel the wrath of his master. Not now, not ever, especially not in my dreams, not again.

Kylo holds himself back. He huffs, "I will do my duties as her husband. This isn't something for you to meddle with."

"Meddle?" Snoke scoffs but then laughs. He, in fact, laughs so hard, it echoes in the room. He catches his breath then sighs, "Fine." Snoke raises a finger and suddenly, Kylo's boots skid on the floor as he is moved away to reveal me from behind him.

I turn to Snoke, feeling my heart quicken in my ribcage.

Kylo steps back in front of me. I take his arm and hold onto it for dear life.

Snoke stares at his protégé. He tilts his head, "I expect this to change, soon. Her belly should never not be carrying an heir."

Her belly should never not be carrying an heir.

Her belly should never not be carrying an heir.

Her belly should never not be carrying an heir.

"Enough!" Kylo snaps me out of my trance. I turn to him, eyes wide, body trembling. We weren't in the throne room any more, we were in our chambers, soaked in dark retreat of it all. I had no idea when we got here. All I know was I was here with Kylo, who was clutching my face so tightly. He looks at me with something of annoyance, something of concern, "don't think about him anymore, think about me. Just think about me."

I shake my head in sheer disbelief. I push his hands away, "is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Kylo straightens.

"You," I start, "want me here for the same reason he does!"

His expression hardens.

"You and him had plagued me with nightmares for as long as I can remember," I shake my head, "the only reason, I think, I don't have them anymore is because I actually get to live my nightmares out in real life."

"So?" he quips, "what do you mean to say?"

I bite my lip, "just-" I feel my eyes water, "take what you want and... and-"

I hold my breath when Kylo grabs my chin and tilts my head up to look at him. He brings his face close to mine. His nose is barely brushing my own. I feel his hot breath on my face as he enunciates one word, "want."

I blink rapidly at the sound of his voice.

"Shhh," he hushes, "if it's Snoke you worry about, don't. I have been planning something for him, long before you even came to me. He is the least of your worries," he explains. "But do you know what I want, bride?" he asks, as though to taunt me.

I shudder. I think of replying, but I don't.

"I know what you want," he mutters. He begins to move forward, and so I have no choice but to move back as he pushes me in the direction he wants, "you want to run away from me, baby bird. You think you can break free."

His hand only leaves my chin when my calves hit the foot of the bed and I fall back, heart hammering, breath clawing at my throat. He drones, "but what I want?"

Kylo Ren undoes his gloves and undoes his belt as he towers over me.

I want to strangle your light. I want to break you so badly. I want to fucking burn you from the inside until you can only hear yourself screaming from how good it feels to finally have your wet, little c-

I slap my hands to my mouth I hear the thoughts running through his head.

Kylo stills. He tilts his head then chuckles, "so... you heard that?"

I sigh deeply, attempting to even my breath as I back away from him. I squeak when he lunges and traps me beneath him. He crushes me against his chest and pins my wrists by my head. I turn away from him as he whispers hotly against my ear, "it would be so easy to have you like this, right?"

My screw my eyes shut. Tears lace my lashes.

"You won't even fight me off, you couldn't."

I shudder when he releases one of my wrists and brings his free hand down to my thighs. I feel my body burn and tingle at his slow caress.

He kisses my jaw and my skin there is set ablaze, "you don't want to fight me off," he chuckles, "you could at least do something with your hand to save face."

When I finally remember where my free hand is, Kylo takes it back in his and lifts his head, "too late." He pushes himself up, "look at me."

I clench my jaw.

"You'll know never to make me ask for the same thing twice."

I give a shallow huff and open my eyes, looking up at him.

"I want you to beg me," he whispers, "I want you to be so desperate to finally," he begins to further pull away, "finally, take you," he knits his brows, "to make you my wife that you get on your knees and weep for it."

A shiver runs down my spine as I watch him get up from the bed and grab his gloves, "until then," he reaches his hand out and uses his Force to cover me with the sheets, "you belong to yourself."

He haunts me in my dreams that night. Not as a figure of darkness, not as a ghost, but as a man, as starving entity, ready to consume me, eager to take me.

He haunts me every night after. And every night his intentions are made clearer and clearer until I wake up and think he and I wake up and I'm shocked he's not actually there.

It became hard to look at him, especially when my stomach began to flip and my thighs involuntarily pressed together. I was turning sick.

And then one day, the news spreads like wildfire. Snoke is dead, Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader, and I, his Supreme Empress.

It was weird. I was called Empress before and he was called Emperor before, but now, now it was real. Now I was parading with Kylo Ren in the capital, looking at citizens waving at us and throwing flowers our way. And then I was shaking strangers' hands and Kylo snarled at whomever dared embrace me a second too long.

But what really cemented our reign and the realness of it all, was when someone tried to attack me. Kylo felt the assailant before he got too close though and choked him dead in the middle of the crowd. I watched as the man's weapon fell to the ground, as he withered in pain, as he eventually stopped moving. He suffered. I knew Kylo wanted him to. The festivities were long over after that, and I was then I was reminded of who he truly was.

He was a brute. A beast. The shadow in my mind. He was-

I turn over my left as a blanket is draped over my shoulder. Kylo Ren sits beside me on the bed and offers me glass of water, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

I huff at the sound of his apology. I wrap my blanket tighter on me.

He sighs and brings the glass to the table using his Force, "I would do it again, though. You should know. I would not hesitate even a second."

I curl my legs up into my chest, "am I supposed to be grateful?"

"I would prefer if you were," he mutters.

"Kylo..."

I suck in a breath when he says his name.

"I'm- I'm too tired to argue. I want to go to sleep," I mutter, moving on the bed until I was laid down. Kylo watches me as I do this, then stands.

"Wait," I call out, surprising even myself.

Kylo stills.

No turning back now. "I... I don't want to be alone... not after that... even though you did it."

Kylo waits.

He debates my words.

I hide behind my blanket, "nevermi-"

The next thing I know, I feel him move next to me. And there, he lies.

I feel him next to me. We're under the same blanket. I feel myself begin to grow warm.

"I can get a separate blanket if you're so uncomfortable."

"Get out of my fucking thoughts."

"... ... I don't want to."

I grunt and wrap myself tightly under the blanket, surely yanking however much was on Kylo off.

"Your mind is an oasis to me."

I say nothing.

"My mind is a dessert, you are my oasis."

I huff through the sheets, "don't talk to me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that!"

"I'm telling you what-"

"I'm done with this conversation."

I close my eyes and tighten my embrace on myself. I release a breath and try to clear my mind.

"Are you that cold?" Kylo murmers

"I'm not cold."

"I know."

"Then why did you ask?" I quip turning to him.

I freeze when I do so, instantly regretting my decision. He was lying on his side, looking at me, his face was right in front of mine and his arms were wrapped around himself. He blinks slowly as he looks at me, "I know you want to be held."

I huff through my slightly agape mouth, then I clench my jaw tightly. I move back from him cautiously, retreating into my covers, into myself.

"I can hold you," he mutters softly.

I turn away from him, feeling my body ignite.

"I want to hold you," he whispers even softer. Let me hold you.

Shut up, get out of my head.

He takes a moment before speaking again. He releases a breath, "am I that terrifying to you, baby bird?"

Yes.

"Then why do you mutter my name while you sleep?"

I tighten my arms around myself. Stop trying to get into my head.

"I'm already in your head," he retorts, voice closer now, "and in your heart."

"Shut up," I whimper.

I hear high-pitched laugh in my head. His voice surrounds me through the Force. It makes my skin raise. I'm only telling you the truth.

"Face me," he mutters, "coward."

I scoff. I heave, feeling my insides curdle. I clench my jaw then hiss, "at least I'm not a killer with no remorse."

He laughs, "you're making it seem like I should have let him attack you."

"You didn't have to kill him!" I snap, turning back to him, pushing myself up on my palms, "you could have given him a prison sentence."

"For what?!" he barks back, unravelling his crossed arms, lifting face up slightly, "so he could plan to attack you again, but next time when I'm not around to defend you?!"

"He only wanted to attack me because I'm married to you!" I hiss, sitting up from my spot.

Kylo sits up too and shakes his head, "he wanted to attack you because he thinks you're my weakness."

"Because I am your weakness!" I quip, "I'm your docile bride!"

He scoffs, grabbing my jaw, "you made yourself into this, little girl," he leans towards me. My pulse quickens as he pushes my head back, hand coming to the side of my face, fingers digging into my hair, "you where the rebel that fought against my troops and managed to escape me. The Force is strong with you," he places his other hand on the other side of my face, "that is why you are my bride."

When Kylo Ren pulls away and lies down, my insides begin to burn, to fume, and rage at his words. I watch him and I slowly begin to see red. And yet, he closes his eyes and acts like this whole conversation didn't happen. He prepares to sleep like there's nothing wrong.

This is my final straw.

I lunge at him. I dart my claws out and growl. I jump on him and press down on his throat. I straddle him and lean all my weight all my strength onto his airways. His eyes shoot open. His hands dart to my wrists. He begins to choke. I put all my anger into my grip. I force against him, knowing full well if I lost the upper hand, I'd be dead.

Except he doesn't make an move beyond clutching my wrists. I wait for him to attempt to overpower me, I wait for him to throw me off him the way I knew he could, and end all of this, and, in turn, kill me instead, but he doesn't.

He doesn't fight back.

Instead he looks up at me as his air leaves him as his face begin to turn maroon, as his veins begin to stress, as his final breaths escape his lips. And then I realize what I was doing and I pull back.

I pull back and heave in horror, wrists breaking free of his hold, hovering by my chest as I looked down at him while he caught his breath. He closes his eyes as his palms land on my thighs. My eyes water, the same way tears laced his lashes.

Why didn't he fight back?

Why isn't he fighting back?

He wanted me to kill him?

He wanted me to kill him?

I watch as his chest rises and falls beneath me. I am then suddenly aware of our position. I feel a tinge burn in my cheeks and my core. It's inexplicable, whether I am embarrassed over the fact I tried to kill him or the fact I was straddling him beneath me.

Before I can get off him though, he finally overpowers me and traps me beneath him. Easily. Swiftly. I was nothing against him. And this fact was amplified as he pins my wrists down on the pillows overhead with just one hand. He presses himself against me, heaving heavily, as if he was doing something with great restraint. It makes my stomach drop.

"That's the difference between you and I," he pants, as his one hand comes up to my neck, "if I wanted you dead, my love..." he begins to press down on my throat.

I begin to panic and thrash beneath him.

Shhhhhh.

He steadies me still in his place. I am overcome by him, unsure if it was just his physical prowess or if he was using his Force as he pushes down on me. I get a semblance of an answer when the pressure on my throat remains and I unable to move my wrists though both his hands go to the sides of my thighs.

I gulp as he leaves hot kisses all over my skin. I huff sharply when I am released of my Force bounds. My hands dart to his torso, gripping at his clothes as I try to push him away.

I would never damage you.

I let out a sound when he releases his chokehold.

Not unless you want me to.

Kylo then begins to bring his face close to mine, pressing our cheeks together for a moment. My stomach rolls and my breath hitches when his hot lips meet my mine. My heart is racing. He undoubtedly could feel it against him.

My panic rises. I quickly manage in between kisses, "Kylo-"

"Beg me," he pulls away and breathes against my ear, "beg me..." he kisses the pulse on my neck, "to get off you-- to leave you alone, to shoot myself into the sun-"

Kylo begins to rub himself between my open legs. Slowly. Roughly. I whimper. He freezes. I feel blood rise up my face. I begin to push him back harder.

He tightens his hold on me, repelling my actions by pressing his weight further onto me, "beg me to finally make you live out your fantasies," his voice loudens, "to make you mine."

I grit my teeth tightly.

"Beg me," he groans, "beg."

I whine, nails digging into his sides as I push against him.

He kisses my jaw, hands leaving my thighs, grabbing my wrists, pushing them down on my sides, "use your words. Hark to me, my baby bird."

My breath hitches, "Kylo, please."

Kylo pulls his face back, nose just above mine, looking down at me with hooded eyes. He waits for me to continue, breath straining as he did. My lips part and my feel my pulse echo in every inch of my body.

I gulp and ready to speak... but I can't. I don't. My mouth goes dry and all I could think about was how his dark locks were framing his face, and how his lips were moving as he heaved arduously, and how I wanted to find where the scar on his face ended.

Then I am ripped out of my incredulous thoughts.

"Please what?" his breath his hot against my face as he coaxes.

I close my lips and catch my breath that was leaving me, "please... stop."

"Stop what, darling?" he utters. I close my eyes when he leans his forehead against mine. He releases my wrists, hands coming to my sides, nails scratching down me until his large hands ended up on my thighs again. I squeak when his hips buck into mine with more intent.

My hands come to Kylo's neck, fingers digging into the roots of his hair.

He shifts atop me, pulling his head back up, weight all on my core, making me moan at the pressure. His nose brushes against mine. He breathes out my name. My eyes shoot open because of it.

I find his eyes are screwed shut, a line between his brows. His jaw clenches. His nostrils flare as he steadies his breathing.

"Kylo-"

"Yes," he speaks before I even finish saying his name.

His eyelids slowly part when I tug his face towards me, legs tightening around his waist, crossing over his back. He lets out a huff that bounces from my face to his. His hands rub down to my butt and there his grip tightens.

Right when our lips brush against each other, he lifts his head ever so slightly and whispers, "beg me to make you mine."

My throat tightens.

"I need to hear it," his voice is soft.

I suck in a breath and call out his name.

He releases a sharp one as he says mine.

I call out his name.

He responds with mine.

I hesitate.

He rubs his nose against mine then says quietly, "make me yours please."

I suck in a breath. My stomach explodes with butterflies. "Make... me yours," I mumble, relaxing against him, hands rubbing down his neck to his shoulders. I close my eyes and sigh, "please."

He nods, "louder."

"Kylo-"

"Louder," he mutters with a tight breath, "one last time."

"Make me yours, please."

Kylo hisses then connects his lips to mine. He moans, amplifying the hungriness of the kiss. His hands are quick and desperate as they grip at my clothing. He pushes off me and begins to strip me of all the hindrances on my being

I whimper as he eagerly does his work. One by one, he rips my clothes off. He does so with such impatience, I hear the tears and the strains of my clothes.

He sits me down as he removes each piece off me until I'm left in my panties. I wrap my arms around my bare chest. Kylo leans in, hands rubbing my bare thighs. My skin pricks because of the contact. He mutters, "your turn, my dear."

He kisses me as he grabs my hands. He pries them off my chest and ends our kiss, placing my palms at the hem of his top. He lifts his hands, eyes not leaving mine, wordlessly urging me to strip him.

I shift on my knees and pull his top off, discarding it along with the rest of my clothing that he threw on the floor. My hands instinctively come to his pants, fiddling the belt on his waist band.

He gets on his knees and grabs my face. He pulls me in for a kiss, moving closer until I'm pressed against the headboard. He guides my hands as they push his pants down.

We keep kissing until he breaks away to strip all together. I don't have time to react cause when he does, he pushes me down using his Force, and brings my legs together as to rid me of the last thing keeping me modest. I screw my eyes shut as he snatches my underwear.

Before I could feel too conscious about being naked in front of the man that was my husband, about to consummate our marriage, I let out a shaky sound as my legs are grabbed and pushed apart.

I suck in a breath as my arms fly again to my chest. They only stay there for a moment. Even that, Kylo pulls apart as he presses against me. He presses my arms down on the pillows by the sides of my head.

I am unable to conceal my cries at the feel of his hot body pressing against mine. I feel his taut stomach press against my core. It drew out another sound I could not keep in. I feel my pulse against him. I feel my wetness smear on his skin. His hands leave my arms to grab onto my thighs.

When I finally dared to open my eyes, I caught the moment Kylo sank his head onto my chest and began to suckle at the skin on my sternum.

I whimper then I bite my lip tightly. Kylo looks up at me as he takes my left breast and nips at it. He begins to rub against me.

I fist his hair into my hands. I press my head back against the pillows. Kylo's hands travel to my hipbones and digs in his fingers into me. He releases my breast and checks on his work, appreciating the mark he left of my skin before continuing to attend to my breast with his mouth.

I tighten my legs around his waist as he continues to grind down on me. I feel my heart racket behind my ribs as Kylo moves to my other breast.

"Kylo," I whimper, as my nails dig into his scalp.

He moans and releases my flesh, whispering hotly against my skin, "yes, my empress?"

I exhale through my open mouth and look at him with a dazed expression. I clutch his cheeks, "I want you-- need you-" I sigh.

Kylo lifts his body slightly, one hand releasing my hip. "To what?" he murmurs, "-need to hear you say it."

His fingers roughly draw a line from my side to my core. I gasp when he touches my aching nub. I lift my head, looking out at his hand as he looks down on me. His two digits dote on the wet heat between my legs. He slowly rubs circles on my flesh, teasing my entrance.

He holds my hips in place as a squirm beneath him. Then his hands hook by the curve of my thigh and pushes one leg up to my chest. He leans in and says, "need to what, my bride?"

I whine as my hands brush down to his shoulders. I claw at him, pulling him closer to me, "need to..." whimper, "to be made yours."

He exhales loudly. He heaves heavily as he sinks two fingers into my sopping core, slowly and firmly rubbing into me, stretching my flesh deliciously. I whine like a wraith.

"You have no idea how long I've imagined touching you like this," he admits as he toys my entrance with his fingers.

"Kylo."

He pulls his hand away and grabs my other thigh, pushing it up by my ribs.

I look at him as he brings his face close and lifts his hips. He digs his fingers into the bend of my knees and my toes curl when I feel him press against me, hard and pulsing.

I lick my lips and break into a whine when he slowly sheathes himself into me, releasing a hot breath by the crown of my head as he did so.

I whimper at the feel of him sinking in all the way. I tighten my legs around him and reach out to the sheets by my sides and rip at them.

Kylo slowly begins to rock into me, groaning as he does so, "so warm, wet and soft," he grabs my hands and places it on his back, "so soft and-" he licks my skin and bites down.

I choke on my breath as he does this. His pace thrusts hasten. He hands grab my knees and push them into my chest, "mine. All mine."

He lifts himself up and ruts into me with vigor.

Soon enough I feel my mind blur while my voice lets out incoherences at the snapping of Kylo's hips.

I claw at his back with little regard for how much it may hurt him.

Kylo howls in response, quickening his pace even more, adjusting his hold on me until his position was perfect and my head was knocking slightly into the board.

"Fill you up with me," he grunts, "fill you until you're a mess, mark you until you're tender, repeat until you're sore."

I don't respond. I don't know what to. I don't have much of a brain to speak anything anyway.

Kylo thrusts into me at such a strong and steady pace, it's not long until I feel a flurry in my stomach and a tingle in my chest.

I whine out his name. I pull him into me. He leans in and huffs against my cheek, "feels good, right? I can make you feel good."

I catch his lips into my teeth. He rip away only to kiss me as he breaks me.

We pull away to breathe yet Kylo does lose his tempo. I feel my eyes water and my mouth dry over my continuous jaw dropped cries.

"Just want to make you feel good," he whispers heavily, "want to make you mine."

"Feel so good," I mindlessly mutter, "so - Kylo."

In that next moment, I feel my insides shatter around him. I let out a loud cry of relief. My fingers curl into his back as I tighten and convulse around him. My toes curl as I lock my legs around him. Instantaneously, I feel a sharp heat splatter into me and it magnifies my delirium.

I hear him curse and whine against my ear. I feel him tighten his hold on me as he continues the work with his hips, still as quick as before.

And as I ride out my high and tighten around him, only then does Kylo's actions find some irregularity. My head no longer hits the board, though my body very much still moves up and down with Kylo's movements.

As the final ripples of my pleasure calm down, so does the knocking of our hips.

When he is satisfied, he releases my hips and grabs my face. He kisses me and catches his breath in between.

"Do you want me to get off you?" he asks.

I quickly shake my head in disagreement and wrap my arms around him.

"Good," he rests his head beside mine and slowly relaxes on top of me. He sighs and brushes his nose against my head, "I want to stay in you forever."

I bite my lip and lean my face into his.

"I will write your name in the stars," he whispers, "I will give you everything in the galaxy. All you have to do is be mine."

I gulp and sigh heavily, yet I internally find myself agreeing.

His hand rubs my side, "I hope you don't get pregnant too quickly," he kisses my head, "there's so much I have to do with you first."

[divorcedwife]

it is really a lot to interact with the crows in datv right after replaying dao, like walking around their cute hideout where they all exchange kind words while getting flashback to zevran’s dialogue about them. but at least, i can tell myself that it’s because we are with the grandson of the godmother of the whole thing, and we’re seeing the highest level people and not the lowly little assassins they buy and exploit

but they really did that with every faction, making sure to proactively explain away any potential moral quandary these factions might face... like why does isabela talk like her lawyer is watching her through a sniper rifle lens

[yamisnuffles]

DATV Spoiler Free Review

I beat Veilguard a couple days ago and have had some time to let it settle in my brain. So, without getting into the nitty gritty and more spoilery things, here are my overall feelings on the game.

The Great:

The world itself. The scenery. It was really gorgeous and felt fully alive in a way that none of the previous games have quite managed. Since it wasn't as open world as DAI nor as narrow in scope as DA2 (nor as old as DAO lol), it felt more vital. Definitely a place where the advances in graphics helped, I'm sure.

The Good:

The companions. I wouldn't say any of them blew me away but they all at least ranged from enjoyable to very good. I definitely had my quibbles here and there but I think they were all pretty solid. As such, though I've only done one romance, I'll suppose they're all good. A bit... sparse in my experience and from what I've been hearing, but nice enough.

Overall, I also think the story was pretty good. Like much in this game, nothing that blew me away, but solidly compelling.

Also, mechanically, the gameplay and the glamour system. It still doesn't feel like DA to me but it was enjoyable once I got used to it. It works well with how I play games. And it was nice to just set looks for myself and my companions and not worry about stats vs appearance.

Rook. I have some definite Complaints, and so this point is probably closer to the good to mid range, but they did a pretty good job with letting you pull in your faction stuff. I'm prevented from saying great because it feels like, even with what are supposed to be rougher dialogue choices, you're limited to being mildly pleasant.

The Mid:

The music. This is tragic to me because every previous game had some really standout songs and DAI especially was such a solid soundtrack. I love soundtrack music. Also because Hans Zimmer! I love Hans Zimmer. But the entire thing felt very generic epic fantasy to me. It wasn't bad but it didn't feel good. The only times I ended up moved by the music was when they lifted DAI songs.

The lack of imports. It wasn't the end of the world but did make some cameos feel really off. And for all the talk of making what few things were imported matter, that really didn't feel like the case at all (unless you were in a specific subset of players). I didn't care too much, but it was just enough to make things feel weird, especially with characters like Harding who are so attached to previous stuff.

The Bad:

The world felt so sanitized. I have no issue getting rid of real life bigotry that makes so sense in the context of the world. For example, the sexism in DAO especially made no sense. That said, there was a lot of in world nastiness that is just... gone. The game does a lot of telling us the elves have it bad but doesn't show it. No one bats an eye at a Tevinter mage running about outside of Tevinter. No one cares about a Qunari in occupied Treviso. I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world but it feels weird, especially when it's so central to Solas' motivations.

This sanitization carried on through pretty much everything. All of the factions are presented as good and heroic, even the ones that are historically pretty shady. Your companions are all pleasant and palatable. They have the occasional minor squabble but even when they almost have actual beef, it's solved super easily. You might get some disapproval for decisions but companions never seem to much care or hold it against you, even on really big things. I don't need DA2 levels of interparty drama but, boy did I want a bit more tooth sometimes.

The Awful:

I can't get into it without spoilers but it did a Thing that Bioware sometimes likes to do that I absolutely loathe. This is definitely personal but it ruined some of my desire to replay.

Overall:

I'd give the game a 7/10 or maybe 6/10, depending on how I'm feeling. It was enjoyable for the most part but it had so many things that felt like splinters. Lots of little things that stuck under my skin and bothered me. Would I recommend it? Genuinely depends on the person.

[mclacedes]

The Idea of You (LN4)

3. The Idea of Vulnerability

summary: in which you and lando finally talk after the new year's

previous ••• next

WARNINGS: dialogues about anxiety, 90% soft angst (nothing too deep/dark) and the other 10% fluff. enjoy!

wc: 2.6k

“i can face anything that comes our way.”

5:30pm — january 1st

you were still at home, freshly bathed, scrolling through your phone as the memories from last night kept replaying in your mind. you’d just posted some pictures on instagram, but instead of easing your mind, it only made you feel worse.

you couldn’t stop overthinking everything. had you done something wrong? said something you shouldn’t have? the silence from him had been deafening. no texts, no calls. it was like he’d vanished without a trace.

you stared at your phone, the unanswered messages glaring back at you, each one amplifying the ache in your chest. part of you wanted to believe he’d just been busy, that there was some reasonable explanation for why he hadn’t shown up, for why he’d left you waiting. but the other part… that part whispered doubts, darker thoughts that made your heart sink.

it had been almost 10 hours since you’d left his family’s house; 10 hours since his mother had looked at you with that mix of confusion and pity, saying she had no idea where her son was; 10 hours since you’d woken up to find nothing of him left—no note, no text, not even a clue.

and still, that’s all you got. no closure, no explanation. just the hollow silence stretching on, each minute making it harder to shake off the feeling that maybe you’d been the only one who thought last night had meant something.

in the midst of wondering if he’d lied to you regarding his feelings, if nothing of that was real, your phone buzzed, snapping you out of the spiral.

it was him.

your heart stuttered at the sight of his name lighting up your screen. you hesitated, thumb hovering over the message before you finally opened it.

lando: “i’m sorry for last night. can we talk?”

you stared at the words, feeling the knot in your chest tighten again. you weren’t sure you were ready to face him. not when he’d ghosted you after such an intimate moment, not when you felt like you’d done something wrong. but it was stronger than you.

before you could decide what to respond, your phone buzzed again.

lando: “i understand if you don’t want to, but… i could never forgive myself if i didn’t try to make this right.”

a pause. then another message.

lando: “i’m sending a car over to you. it might get there in 20.”

20 minutes. no room for you to overthink, to hide away. you sighed, getting up and glancing at your reflection in the hallway mirror. the person staring back at you looked as uncertain as she felt, but there was something else too, something you didn’t quite recognize. curiosity? hope? maybe both.

you quickly changed into something that wasn’t your pajamas and did a little casual no-makeup makeup, even though you didn’t feel like yourself. you didn’t even know if you wanted to look good for him anymore. maybe you just wanted to look like you were moving forward. like you could keep going, no matter what he had to say.

by the time you heard the car pulling up outside, you had barely settled your nerves. the air felt colder than it should have as you opened the door and walked toward the black suv, its engine still humming softly in the quiet of the afternoon.

you stepped out into the chilly evening, nerves fluttering in your stomach. the black alfa romeo looked sleek, intimidating almost, under the fading light, and for a moment, you hesitated at the door. you could turn back. you could stay inside, keep yourself safe. keep your heart tucked away.

but you knew you wouldn’t.

the driver sat behind the wheel, staring straight ahead, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. you didn’t even acknowledge him as you opened the door and slid into the back seat.

the drive was quiet, but not in a comforting way. tension clung to the air, thick and suffocating. you barely noticed the city passing by, the lights flickering through the windows. your mind was elsewhere—on him, on what had happened the night before, and on what might happen next, on everything unsaid that might be perching over when you finally met his gaze again.

what would you say to him? that you were mad? but how could that be it when you spent the whole afternoon going over all the worse case scenarios, worried about him?

but weren't at all sad. you were more like disappointed and frustrated and worried, but not sad.

all your emotions tangled together, messy and indistinguishable, leaving you unable to tell where one ended and the other began. you kept your stare fixed outside, watching the streets pass by, yet feeling a million miles away.

would you fight it out, force him to hear every thought and frustration clawing at you? or would you sit and listen to him, swallowing down your feelings and dismissing the gnawing ache that had been eating at you all day?

too many questions, too few answers.

snow-dusted fields passed by outside the window, the landscape serene, a sharp contrast to the storm brewing inside you.

the car's abrupt stop snapped you back into the moment.

“this is it, miss,” the driver said, looking at you through the rearview mirror. you muttered a quiet, emotionless "thank you" before stepping out of the suv.

the chill of the evening air hit you again as you walked to the front door. everything felt surreal, like it was happening to someone else and Yu were merely an expectator. your pulse quickened, but your legs moved almost on autopilot. the doorbell felt foreign, like you were standing outside of your own body, waiting for the next step, waiting for him.

after less than a minute, he opened the door. there was a nervousness in his movement, the way his hand brushed against the doorframe before he spoke.

“hey…” he said, voice low, like it hurt him to even say the word. “i didn't think you’d actually come…” it felt weird hearing your best friend utter those words.

you shrugged, “yeah, i didn't think i had much of an option there…”

everything felt weird.

these interactions, robotic; his eyes, swollen and frozen; your limbs, hardened, and waves of anxiety rushed and crashed on them as if this encounter were the rising tide against a rock in the bay,

“sorry about that… i didn't know what else to do.” lando’s admission brought in silence as yiu nodded, unsure of what to do. “i cooked. for you.”

you blinked, not sure you heard him right.

him? lando norris? cooking?

“you cooked?” you asked, a bit of disbelief creeping into your voice. you knew he couldn’t cook. you’d seen him try once, and it was… nothing short of disastrous.

lando chuckled, the sound shaky. his hand rubbed nervously over the apron he wore over his white shirt. “yeah, i that’s why i didn’t pick you up, i’m sorry.”

you stood there for a moment, unsure of whether to step in or just walk away. part of you still wanted to run, to protect yourself, but the other part—the part that kept clinging to the hope of what you’d shared—pushed you forward.

“it’s a bit cold, isn’t it?” you said, your voice softer than you intended, hoping he’d understand. you just wanted to be inside, away from the cold. from the ache in your chest.

“yeah, you’re right. come in,” he said quickly, moving out of the way. his eyes wouldn’t meet yours, his hand lingering on the door for a beat too long, like he didn’t know if he should let you in. but you stepped inside, feeling the warmth of the room immediately wrapping around you, contrasting sharply with the cold that had been biting at your skin outside.

the cottage smelled faintly of garlic and something sweet. dessert, maybe. but your stomach twisted, unsure if you could even think about eating yet.

lando closed the door behind you, then gestured towards the living room, where a couple of candles flickered in the dim light, but the atmosphere only felt heavier. the tension hung between you like a thick fog.

you swallowed as you stepped into the room, feeling the sharp edge of all your questions press against the back of your throat. every ounce of frustration, of loneliness, threatened to spill over as you turned around to look at him standing there, staring at you; the nervousness that softened his usual confidence. this was lando, but also someone who felt like a stranger, leaving you torn between resentment and the pull of everything you felt for him.

you laid your bag on the off-white sofa and sighed, feeling all that tension fly over the room; it hung heavy and suffocating both of your hearts.

your stomach was tight, so unsure of what to say. it wasn’t just the ghosting—it was the silence after, the way you had been left in limbo. it felt like he'd abandoned you, like the trust you’d built had over the years just… evaporated.

normally, lando was the first to speak up, he always said he couldn't stand silence — yet that was the only sound in that room.

you could even stay quiet for a second longer, but why should you if all that weirdness with your best friend was something completely out of the ordinary? nothing about this situation was usual, so you spoke first.

“can i ask you why did you leave me?” you asked quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, yet heavy with everything that's unsaid.

he shifted, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. “i’m sorry, i… i just needed some space. to figure things out, you know?” his eyes found yours, apologetic but filled with uncertainty. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i didn’t think i’d be gone that long.”

“but you were,” you replied, your voice wavering slightly, the truth hitting the air between you. “i thought… i thought last night meant something.”

the words stung as they left your lips, but you couldn’t stop them. it hurt, but lando knew he needed to hear it.

he stepped closer, his hand reaching out before falling back to his side. “it did,” he said, voice barely steady. “it meant everything. that’s why i got so scared. i didn’t want to mess it up, didn’t want to drag you into… into all of this.”

you took a breath, the ache in your chest flaring. “all of this? what does that even mean, lando? because from where i’m standing, it feels like you’re the only one holding back.”

he looked down, jaw clenched as he searched for the right words. “i just… i don’t want you to get hurt, to deal with all the mess that comes with me, my life. i’ve seen what it does to people, and you—” he looked back up at you, his gaze intense

“what about me, lando?”

you stood there, not knowing whether you should step closer or stay rooted in place. something about his words felt like a soft surrender, but the silence stretched between you, thick and palpable. his hesitation echoed through the room, louder than anything else.

“you’re different,” he repeated, his voice cracking slightly. “and i’m… fuck, y/n…” his voice came through like a whisper, as if he was afraid that by speaking louder it becomes real, as if he was afraid to jinx it.

you could feel the weight of it, the words hanging like a fog, thick and slow. but you were beyond the fog now. you needed to see it clearly.

“lando,” you said quietly, voice unsteady. “what is it? what’s up with you?” you took a cautious step forward, watching him closely. “you had shut me out before, yes, but after last night… after last night you didn’t even tell me you were leaving. no explanation. no text. i… i thought something had happened to you.”

he flinched, and for a moment, he saw it—the brief flicker of panic in your eyes. it was enough to stop him cold, the way it made him realize just how much he'd been hiding from you. for all the walls he’d built, all the distance he’d put between you, it was in that split second that he understood how deeply his silence had affected you. he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but the words didn’t come. instead, he found himself at a loss, unable to bridge the gap he had so carefully constructed.

“i thought… i thought you might be going through something, lando,” you whispered, stepping closer, trying to keep the fear from creeping into your voice. “i didn’t know if it was me, or if you were… i don’t know, i thought maybe something bad happened to you. like you just… vanished.”

his eyes darted away from yours for a second, like your words had cut too deep. you could feel the pulse of the silence between you, the kind that felt like it belonged to another world entirely.

he let out a shaky breath, a low sound escaping him. “i’m… sorry. i didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” there was a rawness to his voice, a vulnerability you weren’t used to seeing from him. “i just… i didn’t know how to… deal with it. with you.”

“deal with me?” you repeated softly, stepping back slightly, the confusion deepening. “deal with me how?”

“i’m scared that i won’t be enough for you. that i’ll somehow mess this up and ruin whatever it is we have. i’ve never been good at… this kind of thing. and i don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

the raw honesty in his voice sent a pang through your heart, his fears mirroring some of your own.

“lando… you don’t have to be perfect. i’m not looking for the idea of you. i just… i just want you. i’ve wanted you for so long i feel like I could face everything that comes our way if this is what we want.”

his gaze softened as he looked at you, his eyes searching your face as though trying to commit every detail to memory. “you mean that?”

“every word,” you replied, a shaky smile pulling at your lips. “you want it, we can take it slow as we figure thing out.”

“together, yeah?” he asked.

“together.” you replied.

there was a pause, the vulnerability between you felt tangible, like a delicate thread connecting your fears, your hopes, and all the unspoken words, but something had shifted. he leaned in, his hand gently cupping your cheek. the air was thick and for a second both of you forgot of your concerns and insecurities. all that mattered was right there.

and then, as if the world had changed on its axis, he kissed you. soft, lingering, full of all the things that needed to be said.

you enjoyed the moment as the meaning of your sealing lips hung between you both. it wasn’t going to be easy, nobody said it would. but there was something in the way he looked at you, something that made you think maybe there was hope for whatever this was.

just like lando, you had your own concerns and questions about where the path the two of you had begun paving in the night after the New Year's Day party would lead. there were so many variables, so many probabilities, and yet neither of them seemed to arrive at any coherent answer, as if the feeling had absorbed both of you so that the only thing that went through your minds was "what now?”

now, this present moment that seems to never exist. you can hold on to the "now", but know that it is nothing more than an utopian idea, something that is not necessarily real or practical because time is just the relativity of a life.

so, you stretched out the now and suddenly now was a day from the moment you found yourself in—a week from now, two months from now, a year from now.

where would you two be if everything went wrong?

but nothing would go wrong.

right?

TAGGINGS: @meglouise00 @rawr-12345-blog @norrisonfilm @mattymybeloved @katiascraft @plotpal @sideboobrry11

[simpforsolas]

on spirit cole

When I first played DAI, I made Cole more human. It felt better to me. Making him human makes him more relatable and allows him to change and grow in ways that feel good to players. But my most recent replay, it's amazing how much my opinion changed.

My fundamental issue with a lot of human Cole arguments is this idea that making Cole human makes him "real." It's an extremely human-centric viewpoint (and by human I just mean intelligent mortal beings - this includes qunari, elves, and dwarves). It's this idea that in order to be "real," in order to be something valuable, you have to fit into a specific mold that's palatable and understandable by people. But in reality, spirit Cole is just as real and as valid as human Cole. Sure, he's different. Sure, he can't live a mortal life and experience typical mortal relationships. But he's still REAL. Spirits are beautiful and wonderful beings just as they are, and they shouldn't have to change into something more human to start to be seen as valuable. It simply takes embracing a different perspective to see the inherent beauty in them.

Consider this line of dialogue you get in the spirit Cole route:

"You found out, but you didn't change." The context of this line is that Cole is talking about Rhys, the mage who befriended Cole but then abandoned him when he realized what Cole truly was: a spirit. Cole has intimate experience with friends leaving him when they find out his true nature, so imagine how meaningful it is to him when the inquisitor doesn't do that. They learn he's a spirit and continue to treat him the same. Nothing changes in their relationship. Then he goes on to say, "You didn't make me change. You let me be this, be more." And that, my friends, is the core of why I love the spirit Cole route so so much. You meet this being who is different and odd, who frightens people just by being himself and wants nothing more than to help. And instead of treating him differently or encouraging him to change into something that you personally might relate to better, you accept him as he is. You don't make him change. If you listen to Cole, he seems so incredibly happy about it, too. He's happy to remain a spirit, as long as he can continue helping people and maintain the relationships he built.

And yes, Spirit Cole also does retain feelings and emotions. He expresses joy when Corypheus was unable to bind him, he expresses sadness when Solas leaves. As we learn from Solas's quest, you can certainly have friendships with spirits. It's just a different kind of relationship, and that's the entire point: Different is okay. I think that this speaks to me on a deep, personal level because of past relationships where I was made to feel like there was something wrong with the authentic, true me. Like I was broken. I felt that in order to be accepted, I had to minimize parts of myself and pretend to be someone I wasn't. So to see Cole be so wholly accepted just as he is and to not be encouraged to change was extremely cathartic for me, and I believe that's the entire point of Spirit Cole. Unapologetic acceptance for someone as they are.

There is the argument to be made that Cole wanted to be more human. After all, he took on the original Cole's identity and tricked himself into believing he was human (if you read Asunder you will know this). But I would argue that Cole never explicitly wanted to be human. He accidentally stumbled into taking on Cole's identity because his compassion and empathy was so strong and he identified so deeply with his pain, that he became him. If you talk to Cole, though, he never expresses a preference one way or the other.

Now, don't take this to mean that I don't think the human Cole route isn't lovely in its own way. There's something beautiful about self-determination and not feeling bound to stick as one thing just because you were born one way or raised to believe that you had to be one way. But all that said, I personally resonate more with spirit Cole and will be a spirit Cole truther forever.

[whereismywarden]

So after finishing the game last night, here are my initial thoughts on it.

I had fun. I enjoyed it. A LOT. Definitely more than Inquisition.

It's very much a Dragon Age game - with some Mass Effect sprinkled on top of it.

It's a direct sequel to Trespasser (even with the massive time gap there's no denying that), and its storyline is reminiscent of DAO and DAI, although it's structured more like ME2. And there are a lot of emotional beats, not just in Act 3 but during the companions' quests too.

Speaking of companions, they and Rook feel more like friends and family than coworkers, falling more in line with DA2. BioWare did a great job getting me to care about them.

While I missed having three companions in my party, it wasn't as bad as I expected. I just wish enemies wouldn't zero in on Rook so much. It made playing a ranged character a bit difficult at times.

The game puts a lot of emphasis on the background you picked, with sometimes entire conversations that appear to have a faction-specific parallel branch. Interacting with characters from your faction feels a lot like returning to your origin's location in DAO. My only complaint is that my elven Rook appeared to know a lot about the Dalish despite his background suggesting he was city-raised, but that can easily be brushed off.

One of the highlights of the game for me though was how well trans Rook was written! It felt truly affirming, and I loved that you always have a choice: from what their experience with gender is like to whether or not you want to bring up the subject in relevant conversations. And there are multiple trans and non-binary characters throughout the game too. It's not just you and that one blink-and-you'll-miss-them NPC. There are major trans and non-binary characters in this game.

That being said, I found myself thinking way too often that there should have been an imported choice for this or that. And I don't just mean "wow, wouldn't it have been cool if we'd gotten a cameo from so and so?" There are specific lines of dialogue in the game that might invalidate some people's playthroughs!

Also, I now get why some critics claimed BioWare was playing it safe with this game. Historically, they haven't always been great at writing morally grey storylines, but here, it seems they were so afraid of getting some backlash (specifically over their depictions of the elves and probably the Qunari) that they're not even trying anymore. It's not necessarily a bad thing (lord knows some improvement was needed), but it's at times such a 180 from existing worldbuilding that it's pretty jarring.

Though that doesn't stop the game from asking you to make difficult choices. This time, they're just more akin to picking an ice cream flavour rather than "Aunt Mia is allergic to nuts but if I don't give her a pecan pie, Travis will kill my dog."

But again, I can't stress it enough, I loved that initial playthrough, and only time will tell how well that opinion holds up on replay.

[hotsuqueen]

Yamato Hotsuin's Recordbreaker Dialogue

While I replay Devil Survivor 2: Recordbreaker, I thought I'd take the time to record Yamato's dialogue. I don't know that I've found a complete transcript, so I figured I might as well make one for myself and have it exist as a reference for anyone else who might like it!

Dialogue below the cut 👇

Sunday 17:30 Tokyo Branch

Nagata-cho Diet Building

You arrive at Nagata-cho, led by Makoto…

Makoto: We're here.

Io: This is…?

Hibiki Kuze: - The Diet Building, eh? - Of course.

- The Diet Building, eh? Io: Yeah… that means Makoto must be in the government?

- Of course. Daichi: Huh…? Oh, I guess that means Makoto's in the government?

Makoto: Very perceptive. I belong to an organization which answers to the government. It's not much further now, keep up!

Makoto leads you into the underground levels of the Diet Building…

Makoto produces an ID card to authorize herself at the terminal…

A huge facility spreads before your eyes…

Daichi: This is what's under the Diet Building? You've gotta be kidding me!

Daichi is looking wildly around…

Daichi: Hey, did you see that logo a moment ago? How do you pronounce that? J, P, apostrophe…?

Hibiki Kuze: - I have no idea. - "Jips," I guess?

- I have no idea: Makoto: "Jips." Now be quiet. I'd like to avoid any trouble.

- "Jips," I guess? Makoto: Correct, "Jips." Now be quiet. I'd like to avoid any trouble.

Before Makoto finishes speaking, a man appears up ahead…

???: You're late, Sako… Who are they?

Makoto: Chief, these children signed up for Nicaea.

You detect a slight tension in Makoto's voice…

Chief: Why are they here?

Makoto: I thought they might have intel on the summoning app, Sir. They have firsthand combat experience against the demons, so I thought we could use them…

The "Chief" holds out a hand, stopping Makoto…

Chief: That's rather presumptuous, Sako. They're just civilians. Debrief them and have done with it.

Makoto: Understood, my apologies.

The "Chief" looks at you coldly…

Chief: I'm grateful for your cooperation, but this facility is off-limits. I must insist that you leave as soon as possible. Dismissed.

The "Chief" nods to you and leaves…

Daichi: What a jerk…!

Makoto: Don't talk like that…! That man is Yamato Hotsuin, Chief of JP's.

Io: Chief…? He's your superior, Makoto?

Makoto: That's correct.

Daichi: H- Him? He's probably even younger than us! He's that high up?

It seems Daichi has recalled something…

Daichi: By the by, M-Makoto, did you say you're gonna get intel from us? Are we gonna be interrogated!?

Makoto gives a slight smile and turns towards Daichi…

Makoto: No, of course not. That was just a pretext. I'd never get away with bringing a civilian here just to treat a sprain.

Daichi: Oh… Hahaha! Good one. Had me going there.

Daichi seems relieved…

---

Makoto takes Io to a room to treat her sprained ankle, they talk about Nicaea and the summoning app, Makoto leaves, and Daichi decides he has to pee immediately.

---

You lead Daichi to the facility hallway…

Daichi: Urgh… Hurry! Can't… hold it.

Hibiki Kuze: - You're going to have to. - Just go here. - Shhh, listen.

- You're going to have to. Daichi: Unngh… So cruel…

- Just go here. Daichi: I would, but… that doesn't seem right.

- Shhh, listen. Daichi: Argh! Not so loud! I'm at my limit here!

You hear people talking further down the hallway…

Makoto: …They're just civilians, Sir!

Yamato: How can you be positive they won't misuse the summoning application?

Makoto: They cooperated with me, they helped reseal Coordinate K. I don't think they'll abuse it.

Yamato: When a man grows accustomed to power, he is more likely to abuse it. Isn't that right, Sako?

Makoto: S-Sorry, Sir.

Yamato: We're finished here. Take them to a cell.

They seem to be talking about you…

Daichi: D-Did he just say what I think he said?

Hibiki Kuze: - A cell… - We're going to be imprisoned…! - Sorry, I wasn't listening.

- A cell… Daichi: This is bad! Real, real bad! They're gonna lock us up!

- We're going to be imprisoned…! Daichi: This is a disaster! They're gonna catch us and throw us in jail! I'll nver see the sun again!

- Sorry, I wasn't listening. Daichi: You moron! They're gonna toss us in prison!

Daichi: Let's get outta here, man! We need to get to Io before they do!

You return with Daichi to where you left Io…

---

So this is Yamato's introduction, and on the whole, I think it's a really interesting scene. It's our very first look at JP's and at Yamato himself, and right off the bat, we're establishing some important things about the characters. Yamato is cold and dismissive and in the leadership role, and Makoto is loyal to and defensive of him while also being completely willing to lie to him and disobey his orders on behalf of people she doesn't know at all.

There are also some really choice moments that are ridiculously funny to me, namely Makoto calling Hibiki and his friends 'these children' when she's talking to Yamato even though Yamato is younger than every single one of them. Even Daichi clocks immediately that he's younger than they are, so it's canon that he looks his age. I'm kinda glad they told us that, because the art makes it hard to tell. Either way, I have to wonder what Yamato thought about that.

I also kind of love that Makoto tells them to shut the fuck up so she doesn't get in trouble just seconds before Yamato rolls up onto the scene and immediately gets her into trouble. He had to have been close by, since he appeared before she'd even finished her sentence, so that's really unfortunate for her.

I also can't help but wonder what made him change his mind about locking all of them up. The whole scene takes place within thirty minutes, so it couldn't have been that long between him telling them to fuck off and then telling Makoto to chuck them in a cell instead. He would have been totally screwed if she'd actually listened to him the first time and kicked them out instead of taking them to a room to treat Io's sprain.

Also, can we talking about Daichi's response if you tell him to go on the floor????? What do you mean, "I would, but...?" WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DAICHI

Anyway, while I was recording this, the thing that stood out to me the absolute most is how many fucking ellipses there are. Oh my god. I've played this game a ton of times (at least 200 hours worth according to my save files), and I never actually noticed that literally every line of narration ends in an ellipsis until I started recording this transcript. I think from now on I'm going to leave them out, because they are slowly driving me insane, but I left them in there this time so you have to suffer with me. I'll never unsee that.

[ideas-on-paper]

Monster Hunter Tri Diary, Part 1: Intro, Arrival in Moga, First trip to Moga Woods

So, inspired by @dragonflight203's Mass Effect replay posts (hope you don't mind me adapting the idea!), I've decided to do a "gaming diary" for my first playthrough of Monster Hunter Tri.

Thanks to the dedicated endeavor of fans from the MH community, the servers of Tri are finally accessible again, so I'm very excited to check this one out. The 3rd Gen is my favorite overall, and I've been yearning to see Loc Lac with my own eyes for years now.

But first, I'll have to spend some time in singleplayer to farm some equipment and re-familiarize myself with the game. Wouldn't want to do the hub quests ill-prepared! So, for now, we're starting slow.

Disclaimer: Text is paraphrased from my localization and might slightly deviate from the English version.

Intro

This is the first time I've seen the intro of MH Tri in person - and it’s such an amazing one, too! I love the correlation between the sea and land environments depicted here: The Jaggi pack is hunting the Aptonoths at the coast (great way to introduce the new small bird wyverns!), while the Ludroths are picking up the scraps that fell into the water.

That Great Jaggi was about to have the feast of his life on that Aptonoth, only to be bowled out by that Rathalos. xD Dude wanted his lunch back so badly that he was even willing to make a stand against the Rathalos. Probably wouldn't have held out for long, though, with Jaggis being weak to fire. (If Tri had turf wars, that Great Jaggi would've been totally obliterated.)

And when the Lagiacrus shows up, the Jaggis are just like: "Okay, this one’s way out of our league. Let’s get the hell out of here." xD

One thing I love about the Lagiacrus is that he's designed like an antithesis to Rathalos: Rathalos wields fire, which is the Lagi's primary weakness. Meanwhile, Rathalos himself is weak against lightning, which makes him vulnerable to Lagiacrus’s attacks. Both are the kings of their respective element, but when encroaching on Rathalos' territory, the Lagiacrus is like a literal fish out of the water.

I wonder what would happen if there was a turf war between them, though. Would there be a 50:50 chance of either one winning? Would the Lagi try to pull Rahtalos into the water? Would he even get out of there by himself? (I imagine it would look like a bird of prey that crashed in the water, but much bigger. Poor Rathalos might need a hand. xD)

I love how Lagiacrus turns away in an "Eh, I didn't mean to hunt this anyway" manner; like having his snack snatched away from under his nose hurt his pride, but he tries to act unbothered by it. xD

Ah, guys... I always get a little teary-eyed when the MH Tri main theme comes up. The Rathalos flying over the vast plains, the music picking up, and then the view with the hunters standing at the cliff... It really doesn't get better than this. :,)

Arrival in Moga

Ah, it's been ages since I saw that cutscene... It's technically the same as in MH3U, but still it feels so good to be back. I love how you see the villagers just going about their daily lives, the children being excited about the trinkets the Chief's Son brought back from his trip and all that... It evokes such a homey feeling right from the start, and it makes the village community feel that much more like family.

The chief actually mentions the sea people having crests on their skin and looking a little different from normal humans. I remember this from the MH artbook, where it's stated they gave them a different skin tone/markings as well as webbed hands to distinguish them from normal humans. I thought this was just a scrapped concept (since you don't see much of a visual difference in-game), but I had no idea there was in-game dialogue about it. Cool!

"Diversity means prosperity!" That's actually a really wise quote right there. Both the sea people and wyverians are knowledgeable in their own right, but each have different skills. If they unite them, everyone profits. (I think we could learn something from this for our own society.)

I love the Guild Sweetheart from MH Tri/3U. She's legitimately my favorite of all the Guild receptionists in Monster Hunter (at least those I’m familiar with). And she's trying so hard - she's really upset the Guild apparently forgot about them in this backwater village. Hang in there, sweetie!

"The Guild has permission to hunt and do research in the Moga Woods, and in exchange, we help the village with its problems." A fair trade, but I wonder if the Guild might have ulterior motives. Like, what are they doing with the research results? And do they really only permit just as much hunting as the monster population will allow, or is that just a farce? (I always trusted the Guild was true to their word, but after watching a few Monster Hunter lore videos, I'm not so sure. Ah, I was so gullible back then... xD)

The gossipy lady really loves her silly word games. (And so do I. xD)

"The Chief must have really good relationships with the Guild if he got a hunter like you to come to such a small village in the middle of nowhere." Not an unreasonable thought, actually... How did he convince the Guild to send a hunter to Moga if they otherwise completely ignore it? Is he friends with some of the higher-ups?

"For safety reasons, we’ve collected all information about monsters in a so-called "monster list"." Uh-huh... "Safety reasons"... I'm telling you, the Guild is definitely keeping secrets.

Okay, so the item seller really likes hunters. This reminds me, I think there's one single NPC in the entire series who couldn't stand hunters. (I believe it was some guy in Minegarde, though I can't say for sure since I've never been in that city myself.) Is this dude the only one or are there any others who actually dislike hunters?

I love the Outfitter with her "very important" virtual tests. Like yeah, I'm sure that fantasizing about slaying monsters with no first-hand experience will bring you that much closer to finding the "ideal weapon". (I gotta say, I love this kind of humor that Monster Hunter has - it's so dumb, but in a hilarious kind of way. The game knows it's dumb and doesn't take it too seriously, so it almost feels a bit like satire.)

I'm also quite fond of the Fishmongeress. She is warm-hearted and helpful, but also very assertive and knows what she wants. My kind of woman!

I love the dynamic between the two kids; like one is constantly bragging about how smart he is (while actually being really dumb), while the other, shy one is the actual smart one (can confirm this from personal experience xD).

Our local "whizz kid" tells us that the villagers are threshing rice at the windmills in Moga Village. (The ones you can see in the background near the armory and if you walk across the leftmost pier.) That’s probably what the farm is for, though I haven’t seen any paddy fields there.

You know what I find absolutely hilarious? The way the game incorporates gameplay tips. The villagers say stuff like "Okay, so try imagining a "screen", alright?" and "Try imagining a thing called "Wiimote". No kidding, just try it!". They talk about a yellow cursor ("I know: a what?!") like it's the weirdest thing ever, and "saving the game" is treated like some outlandish slang word. Like, the developers were probably aware that to the people in-universe, these explanations would sound entirely nonsensical, and they put in the extra effort to make it funny - I love it.

Also, the UI design in Tri is absolutely gorgeous. I love the "tribal" style the old games had going on. MH World can't hold a candle to this!

I remember there was an old post on the MH Lore Tumblr blog (sadly, it's been defunct for a while now) that in the MH universe, the Felynes are treated like cheap laborers who are always given the shit jobs nobody else wants to do. Considering how they're constantly seen in positions like chamberlain, farm worker etc., I believe there might actually be something to this. It's kind of sad, but these kitties really don't seem to have the best standing in MH society... :(

I love the Felyne-specific language, though. (Like hairstyling being "grooming", "child's play" is "kitten's play" and so on.) It's so endearing.

So, the shy kid tells me there's a cave at the farm, but I shouldn't go inside because the Chief is gonna get really mad if I do. The Head Farmer tells me it contains some kind of ancient weapon. From what I remember from 3U, that "weapon" is a mask for the Shakalaka. (It's funny how every Monster Hunter used to have this "special", sword-in-the-stone kind of weapon.)

Moga Woods (day)

I gotta say, from a gameplay perspective, I think the tutorial for Tri is really well done. It doesn't immediately throw you into a timed quest so you don't feel pressured from the get-go, and it introduces you to all core mechanics bit by bit.

Village Chief: "Can you hear me?" Yes, I can hear you. I'm not sure how you can speak to me since you technically should be back at the village, but I hear you. (Do these villagers have mastered the art of telepathy somehow?)

"My ancestors had a saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."" Wow - I never could've figured this out on my own. Truly, the wisdom of ages.

It's easy to forget, but MH Tri is actually the first Monster Hunter where gathering points are displayed. I remember how distressed I was when playing MH1 and realizing there were no pop-ups to mark gathering spots. (And now that I’m used MH1 and Freedom Unite, I have to get out of my habit of pressing the gathering button at suspicious looking places. xD)

"That's an Aptonoth: a herbivore. Eats... herbs." You don't say, Chief. You don't say.

I remember when I first played Monster Hunter, I felt so bad for killing an Aptonoth. Now, I’ve kinda gotten used to it - still wouldn’t say I feel good about it, though. ^^’

"You're just like me when I was your age! Of course, my stamina bar was way longer." Yeah, sure - just don't forget to toot your own horn.

When finding the Chief's Son: "Sorry we couldn't talk yesterday, though natural disasters are a great conversational topic!" I've said it once, I will say it again: I love Monster Hunter’s humor.

"I'm Juni-- Er, I'm the Chief’s Son." Ohh, do I hear someone having daddy issues?

"Our tent and bocce set were in that destroyed camp." Oh, no - due to the earthquake, the villagers can't play bocce anymore. What a tragedy.

”I’m so hungry, I could eat an Aptonoth.” Well, friend, you’re in luck - I’ve just slaughtered one of these beasties.

Aaand he snatches the meat right up. Okay, dude - have fun grilling. I’ll just go back to the village all on my lonesome, I guess…

And thus, after finding the lost son and completing our first job for McDelivery, we return to the village...

To be continued

[lunarleonardo]

hihi!!! :D fanfic author to another fanfic author hehe

i’ve read all of your drv3 fanfics and they are very intriguing, in canon characterizations, plot driven stories that make me very happy to read and look forward for more! (abso love trans shuichi hc too aaa)

i was wondering if you make pre-planned outlines for your fanfics or do you go straight into writing and planning it as you go? i’m struggling in finding a fitting method myself to write my fanfics because i often jump straight into writing, but that got me stumped in my writings at times. asking for advice because i really love your compelling writing style but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to :D!

First of all... Hi! :D Thank you so much!! I do my best <3 💕

Second... Oh boy, I sure do have a process xD (this might be a long post but I like yapping and overexplaining so bear with me qwq)

if you don't want to read it all though, the shorter answer is: Kind of? I don't fully plan it out, but I don't always totally wing it. I take notes and I build off of important scenes, and then I jump in and hope for the best lol

When I first decide I want to write something with intent to post it, I create a document soley for *notes*. Theres a few things I note before and when writing.

1. I replay/rewatch the canon game and take notes on everything I possibly can. For example! I'm replaying DRV3 chapter 5 (cus i, unfortunately, had an idea q_q). I note down what I see as important or what really stands out to me :) Hell, sometimes I'll even "transcript" down canon dialogue! For example, this is what some of my notes look like (ss1 is taken from my drv3 c5 notes, ss2 is taken from my blue eyes notes):

2. Little things matter. When starting my notes, I often write down the date I started and the basic synopsis of what the story will be about. I try to think of a name for the fic later because my #1 weakness is naming things >.> ... But also! Writing down the important details of your story is suuuper helpful, because you don't want to lose track of stuff like that!! It can prevent accidental retconning, unnecessary repetitions, and stuff like that 'cause i ran out of examples... Oh well. Here's a screenshot of the start of my notes for Motive 5 (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

3. Believe it or not... i don't always plan ahead. I write a lot of my fics with one or more certain scenes in mind, and then I blink and there's suddenly a 7k word document in front of me and Oh Fuck I accidentally made a whole fanfic on that one idea. It happens more than you'd think. Using Motive 5 as an example again, there were a few scenes I had in mind when I was first writing! I don't remember what order they came to me in, but a few significant ones I fell asleep to was Shuichi losing his hand, Hajime and Maki facing off, Nagito and Shuichi meeting after the Coffin Puzzle, and the aftermath of Shuichi's "punishment" (PS. did you know he was originally gonna be tortured with sound? then i wanted to hang him from the ceiling periodically, but i gave that up for the "detention" theme.) this one is getting long but when it comes to planning, I always build off of important scenes in my mind. "How can I make this happen?" "What do I do to make this/these character(s) react like this?" or, my favorite... "What can I do to totally fuck up these sad gay losers?"

You mentioned you get stumped writing sometimes, and THAT'S OKAY. i do too. Chapter 8 of Fever Frost was a whole ordeal because I realized "wait. Kokichi would never confess his feelings first in this situation??!!!" While planning ahead may certainly help save you from some of those moments, they won't stop it entirely. It does feel really refreshing when you manage to skirt your way around the issue, so really what can you do ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

So yeah, I do kind of plan ahead. I plan MOST of the plot (I didn't even know I was gonna kill someone in Fever Frost at first >.>) and then as you write, stuff tends to tie together and build from there. In my experience, 70% of writing is just "shit kinda happens" xD

This is just how I do it, and it's okay if it doesn't work for you. I'm just the kind of person that will replay an entire game to write a fanfiction (⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|⁠）I hope this could help a little, though! Good luck on your fics! :3💕

[stop-talking]

I loveee your Derek fic! IK you said you’ve been kind of stumped lately and I have a suggestion if you don’t mind. Maybe add more to the reader to give her character more personality? Like make her a recovered addict so her and Derek can relate/bond more? Just a suggestion!

I'm so sorry for the wait on ch. 7!!!

I have been writing, just... it's currently a one thousand word incomprehensible blurb of feelings & thoughts, broken up by a few lines of dialogue here and there.

I don't know what to tell you guys as to WHY it's taking so long... other than I just haven't felt right.

Usually when I'm writing, I can see the scenes play out in my head like a movie, and it's just a matter of describing what I see. Like I'm fucking hallucinating.

Sometimes writing is super easy, because I've been replaying the same scene over and over in my head for days and I already intimately know how every little detail should play out.

Sometimes I have to do a little bit of prompting to get the scene to come together. (writing the little blurbs about how each character is feeling usually helps)

But recently, even that did not save me and I just could not see the story. I know that probably makes no fucking sense, but hey, the creative process is different for everyone and I don't think I'm going to be able to describe this abstract process using concrete words.

Basically the vibes have been off. Usually it only takes a few hundred word chapter outline to get me going, but this one took a thousand words before I could finally see the story.

But yes. I finally see the story. And I'm honestly probably going to wait and outline the next few chapters as well before I start actually writing, it'll just make it easier for me in the long run.

So yeah, gonna be a couple days on chapter 7... but when it does finally come out the wait for chapters 8, 9, and 10 shouldn't take too long. And I already know exactly how I want the epilogue to go... (it might even be two parts)

To anon:

I like your suggestion about making the reader a recovering addict as well, and I actually thought about doing that when I was first writing this. The problem is, I'm just not confident enough in my ability to write a character that's gone through that kind of a struggle in a realistic & respectful manner, seeing as I've never gone through that myself.

(I'm doing my best with Derek already, and I'm still not satisfied with how easy it's been for him. I feel like he should be more anguished 😭)

Anyway, it's also a little late in the story to suddenly reveal that she's been though the same thing he has. I mean, the story is partly told from her perspective, and i feel like she would have thought about it before, even if she never revealed it to Derek.

It's an interesting thought, though, and thank you all for being so paitent!

P.S

I'm at 197 followers, so submit some deranged jhutch smut requests for a 200 follower special. (I'll write just about anything other than non-con, underage, pissplay, that sort of thing.)

I'll pick one and write a short one-off AFTER chapter 7 of SISOTSIAICEHAS. (Wow, even the acronym is terrible.)

And to the person that requested the Clapton Davis fic... it's in my drafts. It will see the light of day eventually. Sorry.

[kingdomoftyto]

It's taken 15 years, but it was worth the wait...

All right, I've put it off long enough (and had a very busy/distracting couple of weeks) so it's finally time for my review of TAAAM Act 2

For those who missed it, the second half of Turnabout: an Ace Attorney Musical dropped at the end of last month [here's a link to Act 1 for good measure], and to say I've been listening to it a lot since then would be a gross understatement. My partner and I have literally been greeting each other after work each day with, "Today's biggest earworm was [insert TAAAM song], how about you?" Even if I listen to any other music on my morning commute, by lunchtime I'll inevitably still catch myself mouthing the words to "Lotta Things" or "Tomorrow at Last" or whatever else.

What I'm getting at is that this is not just a cool piece of collaborative fanart. This is a legitimately fantastic musical. Period.

The music is wildly catchy, but remains cohesive with every other song. There are repeated leitmotifs and about a dozen reprises and incredibly satisfying references to music from the games (I was waiting for "Cornered" the entire time and was NOT disappointed when it finally showed up late in Act 2). It feels well-structured, like a real Broadway production. All of the songs from Act 1 that I would have considered the weakest--they now stand fully redeemed by their absolutely phenomenal reprises and callbacks in the second half. Every song in this musical, every line, is there for a reason.

And this careful planning serves to accentuate the stated primary goal of the entire musical: maintaining the character-driven narrative of the games and emphasizing the pathos of the story. On both counts, this team absolutely delivered.

Because not only is this a really cool musical, it's also a fantastic piece of collaborative Ace Attorney fanart. (See what I did there?) I know I already said it in my Act 1 post, but these folks understand these characters and what makes the story so memorable even 20 years later. The emotional beats, the character growth, the relationships between them all, are impeccable. Every character gets their time to shine, and in particular I want to praise their handling of Maya and Gumshoe, who feel like fully realized people and each go through their own personal arcs throughout the course of the story that are just as satisfying and heartwarming as Phoenix's own.

And that's a good segue into the subject of what creative liberties the team DID take with the story, because there honestly aren't that many, but what they did change is so good. I replayed Turnabout Goodbyes a few nights ago and was surprised at how much dialogue in the musical is taken line-for-line, sometimes even verbatim, from the source material. But, aside from the changes you might expect from condensing an entire mystery game's worth of story into a few hours of runtime--such as simplifying the cases to require fewer clues to solve--they really only altered the plot in ways that gave more chances to develop the characters, and to create rewarding arcs for each and every one.

They added a whole damn scene of just Gumshoe and Maya having a heart-to-heart. It is easily one of my favorite scenes in the entire play. These writers drank their respecting-Dick-Gumshoe juice that morning, and that single scene gives a better emotional payoff to his loyalty to Miles than I think we ever got in canon, while remaining utterly in-character for everyone involved. Meanwhile, the scene doubles as one of many stepping stones* for Maya's own character arc (which is also much more focused and consistent than in canon, imo!), in which she struggles with her feelings of helplessness and inadequacy as she tries to live up to Mia's legacy.

(It goes without saying that this scene also serves the practical purpose of getting characters in place to further simplify the details of the case, as mentioned before, because the writing is unparalleled and I will keep emphasizing that as many times as it needs to be said.)

In truth, there are only two things I would qualify as "major" changes to the story (in that they're different from canon, not that they actually change the plot itself), and I'm hesitant to spoil them here because both of them are SO good and both of them hit me like a truck when they happened. One has to do with emotional depth getting added to a certain character's arc, and the other has to do with relationships between characters. (Maybe I'll add them as a self-reblog to this post because I still need to scream about them lol.)

In any case, I'm not kidding when I say that the musical's version of events, big changes and small, is so compelling to me that it has now superseded the canon version in my mind.** It manages to tell the exact same story while not only giving some of the "side" characters much more credit, but also tying the cases themselves together into a single narrative. The specter of Redd White and his chokehold on the justice system is present in the back half of the original game, but the musical tweaks things to really make you feel how all of these pieces fit together to direct the characters' actions and growth. It's just... ugh, so brilliant. [chef kiss]

I would be remiss if I didn't also take a moment to directly praise the performance of the actors. As obsessed as I am with the music itself, my single favorite moments in both Acts are actually short lines of spoken dialogue.*** The delivery just struck a chord in me and I still lose it a little every time I hear those parts. (And other parts, but. Shush.) Everyone did a great job, but the three leads (Ren, MJ, and Gavaroc, who played Phoenix, Maya, and Miles respectively) absolutely knocked it out of the park in both their sung and spoken performances. Is it weird to say I'm obsessed with how convincing the screams are in "600,000 Volts"? It is, a little? Okay, well. [cough] Regardless. The whole cast really knew what they were doing throughout this entire production; the emotion is extremely powerful when the moment calls for it**** and they elevate the dialogue--again, a lot of which is taken DIRECTLY from canon!--from something good to something amazing. The delivery of these lines has literally changed how I look at the first game, now. They're that good.

Quick shout-out to some of the other voices that have invaded my brain and instantly become my headcanon voices for the characters. Just off the top of my head: Larry, Payne, Sahwit, Redd, Grossberg, Lotta, Lana... seriously. This cast is absolutely star-studded. Even the ensemble freakin' killed it, absolutely transforming every song they were in. The soprano that hit that high note at the end of "Justice for All (Reprise)"????? MAGNIFICENT. GOOSEBUMPS EVERY TIME.

Good grief, this is already so long and I still have so much more I could say. This is why it's taken me so long to write all this out, by the way. This musical is transcendently good, both from a musical perspective and a fandom one, and I simply have not stopped rotating it around in my head since I first heard it.

It's NOT without flaws. Of course it's not. The sound quality on a handful of spoken lines is noticeably lower. The word choices in a few verses feel just slightly clumsy, or forced to fit the meter. The visuals for the Youtube release are a little goofy at times because of the limitations of the game assets used. The plot of the second act, even simplified, would probably be a little too dense to easily follow for someone unfamiliar with the source material.

But if there's anything to be learned from Ace Attorney, it's that perfection shouldn't be the most important goal. Sometimes a few rough edges are necessary to allow room for truth. And the truth is, in this case, a story. A story about a lawyer named Phoenix Wright, who loses a mentor, gains a best friend, and saves a man who'd lost himself.

It's a story worth hearing, and what better way than in song?

--

*- For the record, my favorite song in Act 1 was "I'll Be There", so among all the MANY times the end of Act 2 punched me directly in the heart, the moment that hits me the hardest is probably still the part of the finale that reprises it. That last stanza (I hope you know I'm glad we met...) makes me want to cry every single time. Maya Fey Protection Squad, indeed.....

**- Except for ONE thing at the very end, but that's a story for the self-reblog where I scream about the spoilery stuff LOL

***- My fav line in Act 1 is Miles' real-time epiphany that Redd White is a murderer. ("The only people in that office at that time were the victim and the- ...killer.") You can HEAR his eyes widen as he falters, and the choice to have that as his turning point in place of Turnabout Samurai is so brilliant in so many ways I can't even handle it. I love Miles Edgeworth so much. Anyway, THEN, my fav line in Act 2 is Phoenix's heartrendingly soft, "I've got you, Edgeworth. I've got you." It's so tender and yet so sure. It's Phoenix catching Miles as he falls, looking him directly in the eye, and telling him it's over, I won't let you suffer for one more day.

****- Another of my many favorite lines is Phoenix's "Did you DO it!?" underneath Miles' singing in "Alone". The desperation. The ANGUISH. During my replay of Turnabout Goodbyes I literally had to stop and take a second when the button prompt labeled "Did you do it?" popped up on my screen. That hurted.

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

Wondering if the reason people make the thieves out as uncaring after 11/20 is because the game itself moves on too quickly from it? Not saying I haven't kind of fallen into that take myself, though not like harshly, just felt they didn't act like they cared *enough* as in it should have been shown more. Because of the way the game's social sim works, you don't get the thieves checking in on/visiting Akira whilst he recovered like you might see in a fic and it can just go straight back into the confidant ranks of helping people with their problems, with no special dialogue or anything to ask how he's doing beforehand; so I feel like that contributes to the takes a lot, especially when one hasn't replayed in a while (sorry your post gave me thoughts on how people get to that take in the fandom, like I think the plan sucked for other reasons such as "Surely someone would notice the lack of a body?" but that's a bit besides the point)

Yeah I think you're absolutely right about that. The structure of the game doesn't let the Thieves care about Akira afterwards. There's also a bit of dialogue during the plan explanation when Akira says "I'm just glad I didn't die" and no one responds to it, which is...kind of baffling. But that doesn't mean the Thieves don't care about him, it means the writers at Atlus made a weird choice. And we know that because we see in that same scene that all of them were very worried for their leader's safety, and like I mentioned before, Makoto herself says she's glad he made it out safe.

The structure of the game kind of fucks over Akira and makes the Thieves look like worse friends in general, too. He helps them throughout the confidants, and then they "stop hanging out" after that, once they all say they want to start helping him out like he helped them. So we don't ever get to see their friendships become reciprocal. But like, that doesn't mean they actually stopped hanging out in-universe. It's a limitation of the play style.

That all said, I do think there is a valid interpretation you can come to which is that the Thieves don't know Akira was traumatized, or the extent of the danger, because he never talks about it. He's overly selfless and doesn't ever talk about his issues, so I could totally see that happening, and it's my personal interpretation. But that doesn't mean the Thieves are terrible friends for failing to read between the lines like that. It's on Akira for refusing to communicate.

And you can even say that they should have been more concerned for him afterwards, and that they put him on too high of a pedestal and think of him as utterly infallible, especially after he escapes with his life. They're kids, and Akira did just survive the impossible.

Or maybe they try not to bring it up on purpose because they don't want hurt him by talking about it, but letting it fester just hurts Akira more and makes him feel like they don't care.

Point is, there's lots of ways to take this strangeness in the game and make it into interesting fic content to explore. There's absolutely a discrepancy going on and exploring that is super valid and interesting. But turning it into "the Thieves are ambivalent and selfish and completely blind to their leader's suffering" takes that way too far. And like...why do people want to do that? Well, at least in the cases I've seen, the answer is twofold.

First of all, there's a section of the fan base that really hates Makoto. This is mostly common among Akechi fans from what I've seen. I think it's a combination of misogyny and the fact that Makoto can be obnoxious sometimes with her defense of the police, which is especially egregious in this situation. Like, the police beat up her best friend, and she still wants to join them. That can read as callous...if you don't understand her as a character, but I digress. (Someday I should write a Makoto defense post bc yeah. People are very stupid about her.) Point is these people like making up reasons to dislike her even more, which is where I think the whole "the plan was her idea and just an ego trip" thing comes from.

And the other reason is that there are a lot of shuake shippers who really, really want Akechi to be Akira's only "true" friend who "really" understands him. Which like...is true to a certain extent, they do have a special bond and Akechi is the only confidant that doesn't ask Akira to fix something for him, etc etc. But them having a special bond DOES NOT EQUAL all of Akira's other friends being terrible friends who suck and DON'T understand him. There's room for nuance here! You can like the toxic ship between rivals without making it less toxic because actually he's the only one who REALLY respects and loves Akira.

Like, he shot him in the head, guys. Let's not delude ourselves here.

But yeah. I'm pretty sure these two sections of the fanbase are specifically Akechi stans, and so they twist actual parts of the game to make Akechi look better and the Thieves worse. They almost like, take Akechi's perspective to a certain extent? Akechi doesn't like Makoto, and Akechi thinks the Thieves are bad friends (maybe, presumably, we don't really know, but he definitely doesn't really like them all that much and he definitely thinks they idolize Joker too much), and these Akechi stans agree with him. Which is baffling to me. Maybe he has half a point, sure, but Akechi is also REALLY stupid and frequently wrong.

And like, to be clear in case anyone who doesn't know me sees this, I say all this as an Akechi stan (look at my username) and shuake shipper.

In conclusion, I do think there is something to be said about how the confidants are written to be unequal, the Thieves don't check in on Akira enough, and the idolization they very much do have for their leader! These are real things that could make for really interesting conflict in fic. But it can happen without villainizing the Thieves or saying they just straight up don't care about their leader. Which is an obvious lie.

I think most people do agree with me nowadays, I've seen a pattern of recent fic and fandom people talking about how this villainization is stupid and going out of their way to make it clear the Thieves do care, so that's good. It was mostly a thing in early fandom that disliked how Akira was treated by canon (valid), wanted to give him conflict in fic (very valid, I love Akira angst), and wanted to make Akechi the "better friend" (???) who understands Akira better than the others (technically true, but it's complicated).

(As for the body thing, Sae said she made sure no one would check the morgue, so you're not supposed to think about it I guess. Makes me wonder about the people who would have taken his body to the morgue, though. Like, did they not report the missing body to anyone? Idk, maybe Sae paid them off too, lol.)