#might do it for the other kids too we'll see

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

*shaking cup* freebie? Freebie for the poor? (Your writing is great and I hope you're doing okay :))

"He saved my life" was the magic sentence. Ordinarily, Erik might have taken it personally having a human pull a shot gun on him but- context mattered.

Your elderly grandfather had no way of knowing WHY he was with you. Or how he knew you. Not until you explained what happened. Still. It took... restraint.

It was... curious though. Seeing this part of your life. The fear and the pride on their faces when they hugged you to them- relieved to see you alive still. "Come on son," your grandfather said. "We'll load the car. Let the girls get supper on the table." And he followed- not sure what else to do.

"Be nice," you call.

"I'm always nice," your Grandfather called back, "it's the General you gotta worry about."

Erik smiled just a little as the old man popped your trunk open and shook his head at the chaos, "You'd think she lives in here, good grief."

"She does, for the most part," Erik snorted, "long hours. And she never knows what she's going to need."

Paul shook his head and hefted a box into place, "You have questions, don't you, son?"

Erik regarded him for a moment. There was a tense moment in the beginning. But... after that, he'd been treated like a friend. Like you'd just dragged any other misfit home. "Why does she do this?" he asked.

The other man adjusted his glasses and glanced towards the door. Erik can see him weighing what to say. Not looking for a lie, but looking for a way to tell the truth that respects your dignity. He can feel an ugly story coming, the way he can feel violence. "Because," Paul said, shoulders sagging, "when she looks at those children, she sees a best friend she couldn't help. Because by the time she knew what happened it was too late." He pushed himself off the side of your car and went to his tool chest, pulling a drawer open and extracting a framed picture.

It's old. You're there with another little girl. He's know you anywhere- it's the eyes. And the smile. You have your arms around each other. Beaming on the beach. "Allie's parents just... disappeared her. She was scared. Afraid no one would help her. And by the time Y/N managed to track her down again- it- she was dead. Someone just beat her to death."

Erik looked at the man in front of him and tried to keep control of his temper. It's not his fault.

"Y/N was so angry," Paul said, shaking his head. "To this day, I don't think she believes in god... For years we thought she was going to kill herself trying just to numb the pain. Pills mostly. Parties. But... one day she just dropped out of sight. Just was gone. We got phone calls and emails sometimes. She sounded good. just busy. Distracted."

Paul smiled ruefully, "We figured she was on a bender and tracked her down. We were gonna haul her little ass to rehab so help us god- and we found her handing out blankets and food to homeless mutant kids, telling a bunch of bigots to- well. You've met her."

Erik chuckled, "Yes, I'm familiar with her vocabulary." He handed Paul the photo back and studied him, "They're still looking for her."

"I figured." He exhaled slowly. "I don't want to have to bury my granddaughter. But, we know- she may not believe in God but, he'll hold her in his hands anyway."

"Paul-"

"If anything happens," he said, putting the photo away, "we're going to lay her next to Allie. We learned a long time ago to hope for the best and plan for the worst. My girl can work miracles but she can't stop bullets."

[arolesbianism]

And here's the last of the doodles from the past two weeks back to not posting art 👍

[ilydeku]

izuku loves to talk about you during interviews

- anything and every topic it will ALWAYS be about you

- the question won't even be remotely related to you and still izukus answer will revolve around "y/n, my wife!!" <3

- oh, the glint in his eyes, the peaking smile when he speaks about you, lover boyyy

- the media knows he LOVE LOVES you, they think it's funny for this big, confident, mighty hero to be reduced to sap when it comes to you

- it's like his whole is personality is HIS WIFE

- the journalists lowkey get so SICK of him for this, they don't want to invite him anymore 😭

- but they kinda have to, due to to his status as #1

"Good evening everyone and welcome Hero Talk! Tonight we'll be staring someone you all know and love, single handedly the greatest hero of all time, Deku! Alright, Deku how are you tonight?"

"Feeling pretty good! This is one of my wife's favorite shows, so I'm even more grateful to be here. And how are you?"

"Oh, same old. Really, just living. Now, we wanted to ask you some fun questions. Let's start with this one. Why did you want to become a hero?"

"Wow, haha! That really brings be back to my youth. When I was kid, my biggest influence was All Might, and he miraculously became my mentor. He was a good hero, and a good man. I wanted to be just like him: fearless, persevering, saving people with I smile. I would beg my mom everyday to watch this video on the computer of him saving a bunch a people. I was really swayed by All Might. I wanted to become a hero to make an impact in the world. I wanted to save people with a smile too."

"That sounds really endearing, Deku. I remember All Might's reign. He wasn't number one on the top charts all those years for nothing. So, did you ever think you'd be standing as Japan's top hero?"

"Well, it was never really my goal to become number one. That was Kacchan's- Dynamight's. My dream was, like I said, to become a hero and save others. But I have to say, it really is a blessing. I'd like to thank my Mom, All Might, my friends, and especially my wife for who I've become. My Mom has really done a lot for me growing up: protecting, encourage, and just always caring for me. All Might has kinda been that father figure for me when my Dad was away. My friends have shown me what it's like to work together and really be part of a heart. And my wife? Haha...I can't thank her enough for all the times she's been right by my side, even before we were together. Nothing I can say or do will ever be enough to express how much she means to me."

"Mm. Quite the supportive group. Your wife sounds like quite the lady!"

"She is. She's wonderful."

"Moving on to the next question, do you use social media often?"

"Occasionally, yes?? My wife uses it regularly, posting about us when we go out and stuff. It's mostly for her family to see how she's doing. She handles most of my official accounts. She says it's to be more appealing to the public, and I guess to show that there's more to heroes on the inside?? I'm not really sure, but I trust her process. Although, I'd rather be appealing to her alone."

"The public will always interested in a hero's private life! Now, Deku, what is your ideal setting of relaxation?"

"My wife doesn't like places that are too crowded or noisy, so maybe a cozy day at the beach?- but early in the morning or in the evening when the crowds calm down. Maybe a movie theatre, but days after the movie is released so it's just us together. Actually, a lazy day at home together is great too! Cooking meals and watching a movie on the couch? Really, any place is relaxing if my wife is with me."

(am i questioning Deku's wife or Deku!?) "How scenic! Those sound very fitting for you!! How about any restaurants?"

"Not really. My wife really knows how to cook, it's amazing! I love her home-cooked meals, so there's no way I'd go out of my way to a restaurant. But if my wife is feeling it, I'll be sure to make reservations."

"(sigh)"

"(smiling warmly)"

[incorrectbatfam]

how does a batfam pool day go?

The adults: *chilling by the poolside*

Alfred: I am going to fetch some more drinks. Try not to break anything while I'm gone.

Bruce: We've been here for two hours and nothing's happened.

Selina: Exactly. Everything's fine. Right, Kate?

Kate, taking out one headphone: Hm?

Alfred: If you say so, Miss Kyle.

Alfred: *leaves*

Selina, flipping through her magazine: "What sundress you should wear based on your horoscope." Bruce, you're a Pisces, right?

Bruce: Yeah, but—

Cass: *jogs over*

Bruce: What is it, princess?

Cass: *points to a crowd gathered across the pool*

Bruce: Is anyone hurt?

Cass: *shakes her head*

Bruce: Good. Now let's see what this is about.

[across the pool]

Dick: What if we send someone down to push you out?

Jason, stuck in the kiddie tube slide: We already tried that.

Damian, stuck behind Jason: *muffled anger*

Jason: Ow! Quit kicking me, brat.

Dick: We could try pulling again.

Tim: Not again, I got a full day's workout the first time.

Harper: Maybe we need a lubricant. Steph, got any butter?

Steph: Just because I'm the waffle girl doesn't mean I carry butter with me wherever I go.

Harper: Well... do you?

Steph: Yeah, it's in my bag, hang on.

Duke: *recording*

Barbara: Finally, the adults are here.

Bruce: What's going on?

Everyone: *starts talking at once*

Bruce: One at a time. Jason?

Jason: In a way, this is your fault. You keep treating us like kids and we might just forget that we're too old for the kiddie slide.

Bruce: Mhm, sure.

Steph, returning: Got the butter.

Bruce: Good. We'll use half of it here and the other half inside.

Duke: *zooms in*

Tim: *drops half the butter down the slide*

Damian: *muffled*

Tim: *hits the side of the slide*

Tim: The sooner you shut up and cooperate the sooner you'll have Jason's feet out of your face.

Bruce: Okay, all buttered up. On three.

Kate and Selina: *grab Jason's arms and pull*

Jason: *pops out*

Damian: *follows after*

Damian: That was more harrowing than death.

Steph: Where's the wrapper? We should throw it away so we don't contaminate the pool.

Damian: I must have left it in there.

Bruce: I'll get it.

Bruce: *goes down the slide*

Bruce: *gets stuck*

Bruce: Uh oh.

Steph: I'll get my backup butter.

[evilminji]

*slams the door open* I am? Once again a GENIUS!

Give that Witchboy a baby!

Klarion! Lord of Chaos, good looking young man of FABULOUS hairstyles, partner in crime of the MAGNIFICENT Teekle... is? In a bit of a pickle. Tiny bit of a problem. Itty, bitty, theoretically possible touch of a CONCERN, if you will. Might even have done goofed.

See, and he knows this is out of character for him, he THOUGHT? It would be funny? To play a... a LITTLE, tiiiiny, harmless bitty joke on the Lord of Time. Ha ha... funny right? We're all joking around~! H-having a LAUGH?

....please don't unwind me into unexistence! We're too hilarious and gorgeous to die!

You wouldn't kill a kid with a cat, would you!?

And, yeah, maybe he and Teekle start monologing. Dramatically lamenting how Teekles care routine is going to RUINED and they are going to DIE, how no one can take a JOKE, trying to bargin their way out of their impending demise. Etc etc. But?

Then? The Lord Of Time muses that Teekle IS very well cared for? And?

Look, buddy, kill him or don't kill him! You're not gonna get Teekle! Keep your filthy cat molesting hands to yourself! No one touches his baby!

That's apparently the "right answer".

He suddenly has a God Toddler in his other arm, cradled against his chest, right next to Teekle. W-What? The Price(TM) for Sparing His Life(TM) is raising and protecting his... WAIT, WHAT!?

Klarion become a Teen Dad. Teekle become a Cat Parent. Both are baffled and highly alarmed. What has happen to their eternal Hot Chaos Summer!? Fast cars and the country side filled with frogs that are on fire? Milk shakes and rattlesnakes down peoples shirts?

Parenthood?!?! This is going to RUIN ALL THEIR FUN PLANS!

..........or......or IS it? Teekle, hear him out, what if? We take the glow potato? WITH us? It's a baby! They don't do much. Probably good enrichment or something! Yeah! We'll get one of those baby carriers and just? Rain on the Justice Dorks parade, WITH A BABY! That's EXTRA embarrassing for them!

We could have matching outfits!

Nevermind! I saved it! Teekle, we're geniuses. Let's go rob some baby stores! Come on, Jr.! Time to learn Daddy's favorite past time! CHAOS.

@the-witchhunter @hypewinter @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @hdgnj

[blackbirdsblackberries]

I HATE THE NEW HERO

PT 1 - What teacher assigns a group project for a poster?!

Classes were always boring for you, don't get you wrong - you love the subjects, you just hate how it's being taught.

To sum it up, here is your lessons for today, Friday.

Literature, Methods Math, Biology, Ancient History, Engineering and finally Chemistry.

It's a lot and frankly you're regretting choosing half of those subjects. Even more so because of a certain billionaire playboy's ward. Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.

You're pretty sure he's a massive fanboy of Aranea, the new spider-themed hero of Gotham who you detest with your very being.

The costume is ugly, they're too optimistic - it's Gotham, who on Earth is happy in Gotham? Most of all however, they're a two-faced bitch. You should know, after all you are them.

It's not that you hate yourself and your nightlife, just that you need to look unconnected to them at all costs. There can't be any correlation between you and your persona. You use a voice modulator while on patrol and missions, you wear a wig while in your costume and any defining features are covered by either the costume or makeup.

So, whenever Aranea is brought up you take the chance to make fun of it. The comments aren't anything horrible, mean sure.

"Ew, they're more of a roach than a spider.."

"They're actually ugly enough to be the next Joker"

"I hope they humiliate themself and everyone sees how gross they really are."

But not horrible.

Despite this Timothy seems to have thought you were the devil himself in the form of a teenager. Glares were thrown at you, false reports were made to the principal's office, public shaming on Chitter and more.

You won't lie and say it gets to you sometimes but at the same time he's being a manchild. You can't expect everyone to like who you like.

You're snapped out of your thoughts by a paper being slammed onto the desk. Your head snaps up and you glare at the person.

Timothy may as well be the devil with the way he's staring at you now, a sneer paints his pale features. His nose held high enough that you swore he was about to snort on you.

You grit your teeth and look down at the paper he slammed on your desk. You're actually going to scream and cry right now.

Scratch that, you're actually going to jump out of the window and hope to perish.

You hate Chemistry. You hate this school. You hate Gotham. You hate Timothy Jackson Drake.

You pray he'll think you're incompetent and not bother with actually working together for this group project.

A group project on Titration! Who even does a group project outside of school for that?

You look around, hoping there will be others in the group but because your luck is so thin it might snap everyone else already were in groups of 3s. Meaning Timothy and you would just be a duo.

Instead of doing what you wished you instead sighed and grabbed your pencil, probing at Timothy's hand until it stopped holding the paper against the desk.

"A poster on bases and acids in titration? Why does this need to be a two-person job?!" You huff out. Timothy's features turn more hate filled, kinda petty to hate someone for different tastes Timothy...

"Because lazy people like you won't do the work otherwise!"

"I'm not lazy! Fine, fuck you! I'll do it myself!"

"No way! I need the marks - plus you'll do it wrong!"

you take a deep breath, trying desperately to not snap your pencil in half.

"... Fine. We'll do it at my place then once school lets out. No way am I going to your place where I'm sure you'll set your family on me." You respond calmly, still glaring up at him.

After a moment Timothy nods.

Your shoulders slump in relief.

"I'll meet you at the front gate then."

"Fine. But if you're late I'm doing the project on my own." With that Timothy walks away. You feel a migraine coming on - seriously, what is wrong with him? There wasn't even a proper time set!

Some people think that Damian kid is the rudest - those people clearly haven't been on the bad, petty side of Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.

[writingmar]

hi, can I request the combination A2 and F7 for Spencer Reid smut prompts, please?? Thanks <333

'𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.'

𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘥 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Prompt A2: dryhumping + F7: in a car - (prompts lists)

after a long day of working a case, one of the BAU cars broke down, which means that all six of you have to pile into a five person car. luckily, spencer offers his lap for you as a seat...

wc: 1.1k

content & tw: sensual fluff, public, dry humping.

a/n: this is much tamer than my usual writing but i rlly enjoyed it!

'oh, for fucks sake,' JJ says as she turns the key in the ignition. the car sputters and shakes with all its might but it doesn't start. 'i'm never renting from this company again, this thing has been having issues the entire time.'

'here, let me try,' you say as you bend over the center console to try the key for yourself, but obviously, it doesn't change anything. JJ grabs her phone and calls someone. 'hey, rossi, our car has broken down, could we hitch a ride to the hotel..? yeah, i know, we'll squeeze in... great, thanks, we'll see you in a minute.'

'don't the boys have a five-seater?' you ask as JJ hangs up the phone. she looks over at you with a sweet smile. 'yeah, but like i said, we'll squeeze in. and besides, i've been seeing you eye spencer, and he'll be polite enough to offer you a seat.'

you feel your cheeks heat and tell JJ to shut up, but you know damn well she's right. you have been eyeing spencer for a while. in fact, you've been doing more than that. unspoken moments together in hallways, soft touches during long days which end in secret randez-vous in hotel rooms late at night. during those meetings, spencer shows a different side of himself, the built up sensual tension from the entire day unloading onto you, and you know he loves that day long chase.

when the boys pull up, rossi is in the passenger seat with hotch driving. spencer and derek sit in the backseat. when derek opens the door and moves to the middle seat, you can already hear spencer rambling. 'driving with too many people in the car, particularly with one person sitting on another's lap, poses significant safety risks and is illegal in many places. the likelihood of severe injury or death increases for all passengers when seat belts are not used properly. according to the CDC, seat belt use reduces the risk of death by 45% and the risk of serious injury by 50% for front-seat occupants. For those in the rear seats, the reduction in risk of death is 25%.'

you smile as you hear his voice, JJ already having taken derek's spot, meaning the car is now full. you open the door at spencers seat, 'well, then i guess i'll sit in one of the rear seats, seeing as that cuts my risk of death in half,' you say, moving yourself to sit in spencers lap.

'no, wait, that's not what i meant, i just-' spencer starts to ramble again, his cheeks warming as you sit yourself down on his legs. derek cuts him off and says, 'well then you better hold on tight, pretty boy. be her seat belt.'

spencer looks confused and a bit panicked for a second, but when hotch starts the car, he wastes no time and wraps his arms around you. 'kids, behave back there,' he says as he pulls away.

rossi starts talking to hotch about today's case, a serial killer in the midwest, while JJ keeps derek's eyes on her in conversation. you and spencer are in a little bubble, even with four others in the car, no one is focussed on the two of you.

every time hotch turns a corner or hits a speed bump, your ass moves slightly over spencers crotch, and you feel his arms tighten around you. the drive will be about half an hour, but you can tell its going to be the longest thirty minutes of your life when you start to feel something growing underneath you.

you turn your head to look at spencer, who stares straight ahead. you always wonder what happens in his mind, but especially now. after another speed bump, he closes his eyes and his lips part slightly as you feel a twitch under you.

you start to grin, his desperate attempts to keep himself composed absolutely adorable. you decide to push your luck, grinding yourself down on him subtly. he moves one hand to your hip, grabbing it tightly and stilling you. you're afraid you might have gone too far.

when you look back at him, he is no longer staring forward. his eyes are fixed on you, and he starts to pull your hip back and forth. you open your mouth slightly in a surprised gasp, not expecting him to be so bold.

JJ and derek's chatter beside you, rossi and hotch's in front, and the two of you completely silent. the radio plays softly, and you're sure nobody is actually listening, but you will never be able to listen to this song like you used to before. taylor swift's 'wildest dreams' is now the soundtrack to an intimate moment between you two, and you know you'll remember this whenever you hear it again.

spencer keeps his movements subtle and slow, not pulling any attention to the two of you. the tension is almost palpable, and you truly hope nobody notices, but the people in this car are bold enough to say something if they do.

every soft gasp coming from spencer's lips, ever small furrow as his brow, but especially every bit of movement and every twitch from his cock makes you wetter and wetter, and you know damn well that you won't be alone in your hotel room tonight.

his hand that's not on your hip holds onto you tightly, squeezing the skin on your side as he desperately tries to get you closer, maybe even to get you alone.

the drive seems to last forever, but when the car comes to a halt, it feels like only 5 minutes have passed. you hadn't realised how much you had been pulled into the moment, and judging by spencers sigh, he hadn't either.

'well we made it. go to sleep, everyone. this case is far from closed,' hotch says as you all climb out of the car. you smile at spencer, his eyes still fixed on you. 'get some rest, spence, i'll see you tomorrow.'

derek takes one look at you two and smiles at the floor. as you walk towards the door, you hear derek talk to spencer, mocking your words, 'yeah, reid, get some rest.'

'shut up,' spencer said, his voice cracking slightly on the nerves, but you know that in about thirty minutes, he will be knocking on your hotel room door and he will be everything but for nervous...

[megaderping]

A while ago, I made a post going into parts of the missable Sae Palace arc text messages, such as these:

However, that post neglected to include a full transcript. I have since transcribed all of these texts, which occur on 10/30, 11/3, 11/7, and 11/11. You must not infiltrate Sae's Palace until after these dates in order to get these.

Transcripts below the cut! Crossposted to the P5 sub.

The first of these texts takes place on 10/30. You will miss this text if you infiltrate the Palace on the first available day.

--

Ryuji: Yo, Akechi.

Akechi: What is it?

Ryuji: You got any idea who the true culprit might be?

Futaba: Oh yeah! You said you saw a masked guy, right?

Haru: I wanted to ask about that too.

Futaba: Did you really see him? The masked guy's gotta be the true culprit, right?

Akechi: If this so-called true culprit is acting alone, then there can be no mistake about it.

Futaba: I see.

Yusuke: The next question is, who is that masked man?

Akechi: Unfortunately, I do not know that much.

Futaba: Ugh, you're useless.

Akechi: That is quite harsh.

Futaba: Aw, you're making me blush!

Ann: That wasn't a compliment...

Akechi: At this point, I have yet to even grasp any clues. But once this is dealt with, I will surely capture him. I promise you that.

We'll be counting on you.

Akechi: Perfect. Leave it to me. It may sound somewhat odd for me to say this, but I am an exceptional detective. I assure you, I will catch this culprit. Look forward to it.

Can you do it?

Akechi: Hm? Do you not trust me?

[The rest plays out the same as the other option.]

--

What's funny about this exchange is how the Thieves know Akechi's deal and are just playing along. It makes some of the reactions (especially from Haru and Futaba) read as comically passive aggressive. However, the more interesting texts start coming on 11/03, 11/07, and 11/11.

Starting with 11/03.

--

Ryuji: Goddamit. People're acting like we were the ones who killed 'em.

Yusuke: I have even heard them say we are assassins hired to deal with psychotic breakdown victims.

Ann: Ugh, that's obviously not what we're trying to do.

Akechi: This must be part of the plan to shift blame onto the Phantom Thieves. After all, the true culprit is the one killing the people on that ranking list.

This is unforgivable

Akechi: Indeed. I have no intentions of letting this slide.

This is total BS

Akechi: But that is the truth for the general public at the moment.

[Both lead to...]

Futaba: Man, this culprit guy really won't let up. I don't remember ever doing anything that'd make someone hate us THIS much.

Haru: He used my father as well...

Akechi: I cannot fathom what his motive may be... We will just have to capture and interrogate him.

Makoto: But before that, we need to change my sister's heart. That's our first step toward stopping him.

Akechi: I must agree. The true culprit will be caught, but before that we must deal with Sae-san. If ranking is being taken into consideration, perhaps I will be targeted too... Just kidding.

--

This tells us that Shido is deliberately having Akechi target high ranking targets on the PhanSite in order to terrify the public with abhorrent acts of violence, much like he did in April. It's a way to make people feel scared and more reliant on Shido to be the change that Japan needs. But if you secure the treasure as quickly as possible, you will miss this added information that really deepens how cruel he truly is by ordering hits just to paint a convenient narrative.

And this is definitely Shido's idea, because on 11/7 we get this gem...

--

Haru: Do you think the culprit could be someone at our school?

Yusuke: That seems somewhat sudden.

Haru: I mean, didn't they find a calling card in Principal Kobayakawa's office? I thought you had suggested that idea yourself, Yusuke.

Yusuke: That was just a generalization.

Haru: But if Mako-chan noticed what was going on with you guys, somebody else might have too.

Ann: So you think that "somebody else" is trying to frame us? What's gotten into you so suddenly?

Haru: Nothing has gotten into me. I just think there's a chance the culprit is related to Shujin...

You might be right. / There's no way.

[Both get the same response:]

Yusuke: What is all of this about? It's too soon to be jumping to conclusions like this.

Haru: Well, I was hoping to hear a professional opinion on the matter... What are your thoughts, Akechi-kun?

Akechi: The possibility is not zero, but it does seem a bit unlikely.

Haru: Why do you ask?

Akechi: A normal person would never do such a thing. They would have no reason to callously murder your principal.

Haru: And what if they weren't normal?

Akechi: Are you implying they kill for the sheer pleasure of it?

Haru: No, not like that. What I mean is, you need certain special abilities to navigate through that world, yes?

Akechi: Ah, so you're saying the culprit is a Persona-user.

Haru: Yes.

Akehci: I see... How perceptive. Truthfully, I was considering that possibility myself. But it is difficult to think they have ties to Shujin Academy.

Haru: Why?

Akechi: There would be no motive for them to carry out such a cruel plot. Clearly our culprit is acting behind the scenes to accomplish some grand objective. He likely has accomplices. It is even possible that he is being controlled by someone.

Makoto: Controlled? By whom?

Akechi: If I knew that, I do not think we would be in this much trouble.

Haru: I see... So even someone like you doesn't know, Akechi-kun.

Futaba: Looks like our genius detective's not so much of a genius after all.

Akechi: Haha, harsh as always. If there is one thing I know, it is that the culprit behind all of this is extremely shrewd. But don't worry. I will catch him, no matter what it takes.

I'm looking forward to that. / I wonder if you can do it.

Akechi: More importantly, we need to focus on changing Sae-san's heart for the time being. If we cannot do that, everything we have done will be for naught. We absolutely must succeed here.

--

There is so much to unpack here. By far, it's my favorite of these texts because of the light it sheds on Akechi's motivations and intentions. First, we have Haru pressing the subject. She clearly wants to squeeze answers out of Akechi. She's subtly putting him on the spot because she knows...

But Akechi lets slip that no, actually, he doesn't do this for pleasure. That actually, he is being controlled and that the true mastermind is someone shrewd that he intends to take down. Amidst all of Akechi's lies and platitudes during this part of the story, we see a crack in his perfectly prepared mask. In a way, this is the most honest we've seen Akechi outside of his Royal confidant and on 8/28 and 9/3. In a way, he's sharing little slivers of himself with the rest of the team (either begrudgingly or for reasons he doesn't fully understand) the way he already has with Joker.

And it actually explains a few things that happen later. Namely, the way he downplays the need to kill the other Phantom Thieves until after the election (keep in mind, he does intend to knock Shido down from his pedestal) as well as treating Morgana as "just a cat." Obviously, this doesn't absolve Akechi of his guilt, but it does make it clear that he isn't as remorseless as a lot of people believe, even if no amount of sunk cost fallacy is gonna undo the damage he's done.

Hell, when combined with his lamentation that he didn't meet Joker years ago in the engine room and his reaction to Morgana explaining changes of heart, these texts further solidify that his feelings toward both Joker and the Thieves are extremely complex and absurdly messy.

Plus we get Haru and Futaba both taking shots at him, which is fun and also extremely deserved. :p

Moving on, there's one final missable November text on 11/11. It goes as follows:

--

Akechi: So, about the investigation... It seems they have no evidence that can truly be called as such.

Ryuji: Well duh.

Akechi: However, it seems they have no intentions of changing their plans.

Ann: They're going to investigate at both Shujin Academy and Leblanc, right?

Akechi: Indeed.

Makoto: Hm. I can understand Shujin... But why Leblanc?

Akechi: The key is Wakaba Isshiki.

Futaba: Is it cause of my mom's research?

Akechi: Correct. Her study of cognitive psience is closely connected to this case. Of that, there can be no doubt.

Futaba: Then this guy's really the mastermind behind all of this?

Akechi: That would be the case. There can be no mistake... The one who erased cognitive psience from this world is surely the culprit behind everything.

Makoto: And getting rid of the research was the only way they could use its powers?

Akechi: How perceptive of you. Yes, that is the only logical conclusion. Both Sae-san and I were searching for clues about that research. But just as we were about to deepen our investigation, this commotion began. And to make things even more troublesome... There was only one person with strong connections to both Shujin Academy and Leblanc. And that person turned out to be the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

Yusuke: So the culprit had calculated all of this in advance?

Akechi: Heavens no. That would be impossible. This was a miracle created by the coinciding of multiple chance situations.

Ryuji: Dude, you hear that? He says you got miraculously bad luck. Don't that make you feel good?

I'm so lucky.

Ryuji: Y'know, shitty luck is still luck.

That's not funny.

Ryuji: C'mon, you gotta be able to laugh it off at this point.

Haru: Yes, your luck really is impressive.

Akechi: At any rate, that's the current state of things. And that's why we must obstruct the investigation at all costs.

Makoto: Yes, that's our intention.

--

Once again, we have Akechi laying it on thick that Shido is the one behind everything, as he was the one who ordered the hit on Wakaba, stole her research, and had his own research team develop it further. And keep in mind, Shido's own words, first on 11/21...

"Those who get in the way must be eliminated at times—that's the correct way to use the Metaverse."

And later, his Shadow states, "Moreover, it was thanks to me that Akechi was able to properly use his power to begin with."

So we know that even the idea of inducing mental shutdowns came from him, even if Akechi offered his Metaverse abilities as part of his stupid revenge plan.

What this shows is Akechi wants to hint that there is this bigger puppet master, even if he's going to betray the Thieves, and this is actually really consistent with his Royal confidant. In Rank 7, he uses a billiard games as a metaphor for the upcoming betrayal kill and gives Joker an out, even if he's much happier if you assert your rivalry instead. This makes his warnings about the connections to Wakaba carry a very similar feeling, and since these texts were in Vanilla, it's likely that the Royal confidant built on this foundation.

But then there's the fact that the Thieves are fully in the know that Akechi is going to betray them, so it recontextualizes all these texts where they are genuinely trying to squeeze as much info out of him as they can and likely having to restrain themselves hard (especially Futaba and Haru).

And all of this you will never see unless you delay the infiltration until 11/12. So, the next time you play Persona 5 Royal, it might be worthwhile to delay Sae's Palace to see these in-game! They're really cool and it's a shame they aren't scripted events.

[ineffable-romantics]

Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

___________________________________

Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

[sanaexus]

social's as chigiri's girlfriend

-liked kuniisuke, nagi.seishiro and 155.6k others

yourusername: he lets me touch his hair i win losers

tagged: chigi.who

kuniisuke: yeah but i'm the one who he kicks balls with ↳hiyori: MATE. NO. ↳yourusername: yeah and i'm the one playing with his balls ↳karasu_tabito: okay what the fuck ↳chigi.who: not true please don't trust her ↳eita.otoya: you sure ab that princess? ↳yourusername: ew don't you have enough bitches already?

nikkoki: he looks so tired of you in the second picture ↳yourusername: YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE HIM WHAT ↳nikkoki: exactly. his annoyance radiates off the picture ↳yourusername: go back to crying like a lil wuss or something

user1: i love your eyelashes ↳yourusername: i love you ↳chigi.who: no you don't ↳yourusername: i'm a free independent woman with my own free will ↳chigi.who: icecream if you shut up ↳yourusername: ok ↳karasu_tabito: so you just buy her silence? ↳chigi.who: yes ↳yourusername: HE LETS ME TOUCH HIS HAIR TOO SO HONESTLY I'M WINNING ↳karasu_tabito: valid

kenyu.yukimiya: what the fuck is he doing in the first picture? ↳chigi.who: can't you see? ↳chigi.who: oh wait no nevermind he actually can't ↳yourusername: THAT'S SO RUDE?? SAY SORRY ↳chigi.who: i'm sorry that you're blind as a bat i guess ↳kenyu.yukimiya: fuck you

mikka.kaiser: why is everyone fucking everyone in this comment section ↳alexis.ness: could be us? ↳isaichii: no one's fucking

-liked by megubachi, reo.miikage and 163.9k others

yourusername: in a world full of boys he's a gentleman (the last image is me n him)

tagged: chigi.who

chigi.who: no that is not us what the fuck. ↳yourusername: aww hyo don't be shy ↳chigi.who: you like playing w my hair right? ↳yourusername: no i'm sorry+ i love you+ don't remove my hair touching privilege + i'm js a girl + don't be a hater

megubachi: the last image is canon (i was the chair) ↳yourusername: my real one fr ↳isaichii: bavjura i didrn except tjis frmo yoi ↳rin.itoshi: what ↳yourusername: "bachira i didn't expect this from you" ↳megubachi: you're still my number one ↳isaichii: sorry guys kaiser was chasing me around like a mad maniac ↳mikka.kaiser: come to papa ↳reo.miikage: what the fuck

nikkoki: was the last picture really necessary? ↳yourusername: are you really necessary ↳isaichii: throwback to the time when someone asked chigiri if his haircare was necessary and without any hesitation he went "are you really necessary" ↳shiidoryu: dk ab that but i can throw a back ↳chigi.who: did it once and i'll do it again

user2: you should date me instead i'll let you touch my hair ↳yourusername: oh emm gee let's go on a date to the park and we'll terrorize kids tgt !! ↳user2: ofc bae ↳chigi.who: i am that kid because what the fuck . ↳yourusername: 🙁 ↳chigi.who: ew ↳yourusername: BEO YOU BETTER FUCKING SLEEP WITH A EYE OPEB I'M GONNA FUCKING CHOP OFF YOU'RE HAIR STEAL YOUR SISTER AND THAN LIKE DRAW IN YOUR FACE ↳mikka.kaiser: bro* an* open* your* then* on* ↳shiidoryu: SHUT UP CAN YOU NOT ENJOY THE DRAMA W/O BEING AN GEEK FOR 2 MINUTES ↳alexis.ness: it's a geek and don't talk to kaiser like that you good for nothing zesty butt loving horny demon ↳itoshi_sae: please help he keeps touching my butt ↳shiidoryu: you're into that bae 😘

-liked by julian.loki, oliver.aiku and 211.5k others

chigi.who: i actually act like a normal boyfriend

tagged: yourusername

julian.loki: just how broad is normal in this situation? ↳yourusername: broader than yo mom ↳julian.loki: .. ↳julian.loki: ok i kinda maybe sorta might have laughed ↳yourusername: normal can mean pushing me off a swing or fighting w a 7 year old who was rude to me btw ↳oliver.aiku: bro got bullied by a 7 year old ↳yourusername: you got cooked by a guy who does puzzles btw ↳oliver.aiku: bye

yourusername: i'm spiderman (REAL NOT CLICKBAIT 3AM CHALLENGE GONE WRONG 🙀🙀😱😱💯💯) ↳rin.itoshi: weren't you batman? ↳yourusername: shhhh that's a secret ↳megubachi: I'M BATMAN??? ↳yourusername: no but you can be hello kitty ↳megubachi: deal

nagi.seishiro: how much we betting y/n fell of the roof on her ass ↳yourusername: RUDE !! I HOPE CHOKI DIES ↳nagi.seishiro: not cool dude :x ↳chigi.who: she did in fact actually fall on her ass ↳yourusername: ihy ↳chigi.who: not what you were saying last night ↳yourusername: I'M STILL A MINORR ↳eita.otoya: TRYNA STRIKE A CORD AND IT'S PROLLY A MINORRR ↳mikka.kaiser: drake fr got cooked ↳yourusername: so did you ↳karasu_tabito: drake x kaiser

yourusername: no but i fr love you ↳chigi.who: i know you do ↳yourusername: WOULD IT KILL TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME BACK?? ↳chigi.who: i'm js a girl ↳kuniisuke: I FUCKING CALLED IT HE WAS TOO 💅💅 TO BE A SWEATY MAN WHO KICKED BALLS ↳reo.miikage: what ↳megubachi: wajt ↳isaichii: huh ↳hiyori: the fuck ↳mikka.kaiser: why ↳alexis.ness: what ↳eita.otoya: 💀 ↳karasu_tabito: w h a t . ↳rin.itoshi: what the actual fuck ↳shiidoryu: I FUCKING KNOW RIGHT ↳itosh_sae: no ↳barou.shoei: get help and sleep because it's 2 fucking am ↳chigi.who: :p

chigi.who: you're pretty ↳yourusername: i know

wellll that was mid asf i don't know how to write chigiri exactly if you can see but it's fine

[mxtantrights]

Omg on jason having twins, i think he’d be an utter mess on their first day of school. Like you got this massive brick shithouse of a man practically trembling while barely holding back tears as he drops off his babies at kindergarten or first grade.

a/n: thank you anon for sending this in! <333 I can't thank you enough and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!!

You thought the hardest part of seeing you twins off to kindergarten would be the kids. But it's actually seeing Jason say goodbye to them that undoes you.

He's crouched down to be at their level. The both go them, Peter and Cassie, are looking at him intently. With their books bags on their bags and their lunch pails in their hands. Cassie let Jason do her hair today, two space buns with purple scrunchies. Peter let you pick his shirt, a fresh green graphic tee.

You sniffle as you take them in.

Jason holds onto Peter's hand and cups the side of Cassie's face.

"Now, you don't have to go today if you don't want to. You can stay at home and we can try again tomorrow. It's okay." Jason says.

"We wanna go." Peter says.

"Yeah daddy." Cassie agrees.

Jason nods his head, "Of course. You two are so smart. You're gonna do so good. You hardly get that from me."

"You're smart daddy!" Cassie says, throwing herself onto him.

Jason doesn't even move when she does that. He is kneeling there and his right arm at his side, the other in Peter's hand. Peter joins in on the hug too.

"I'm gonna miss you guys." Jason says.

Jason engulfs the both of them in a hug. You wanna go over there and join in but you know if you do then they might never actually go in. It's one thing to see Jason not wanting to let go, but if they see it from you they'll probably skip kindergarten altogether.

"Me too!" Peter says.

Jason lets go first. He pulls away from them and takes them in again. Then he gives them each a kiss on the top of their heads. Peter gets an extra one because Cassie turns around and runs through the front door.

Then Peter follows after her. Ever the little brother.

Jason stands up and turns to you. Now you can see his eyes that are red and brimmed with tears. You jog over and wrap your arms around him. He wraps his arms around you within hesitation and places his head into the crook of your neck.

"It's okay. We'll see them later." you say.

"Maybe we can pick them up early?" he asks, and you know he's half joking and half serious.

"No can do. We gotta let the little birds leave the nest." you answer.

[the-fiction-witch]

Little Sister P2

Media - House Of The Dragon Character - Aegon Targaryen Couple - Aegon X Reader Reader - Y/n Targaryen (Daughter of Viserys and Alicent) Rating - Smut Word Count - 2409

Aegon took Y/n to his chambers making the maids bring her things so they could get ready together, the servants ran a hot bath which she took first of course, Aegon watched as Y/n eagerly undressed and climbed into the bath, a smirk on his face as he admired her form. He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride, knowing that he was betrothed to her,

"You know, little sister, if we keep this up we might never make it to dinner." He laughs and began undressing himself, tossing his clothes over a nearby chair.

"why? Will we play too much?"

Aegon chuckles as he steps into the tub with her, the warm water surrounding them both. He sits opposite Y/n, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Yes. We might play too much. If that happens, I'll be content to keep you in my chambers instead. No way I want to attend some boring dinner with my mother if I can have you all to myself all night."

she giggled as he climbed into the bath with her she splashed in and kicked at him, Aegon laughs and splashed her back, his laughter echoing off the walls of the bed chamber.

"Oh no, the splashing game! We haven't played this one since we were children." He smiles, enjoying the innocent fun they were having. He splashed her back, sending waves of water her way, as they continued laughing and playing like kids.

she giggled hysterically splashing and kicking till she got tried or just bored and jumped on him cuddling up into his chest "will we have bath cuddles when we're married?"

Aegon wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and holding her tightly against his chest. He nuzzled her neck, planting soft kisses along her skin. "Of course, my little sister. When we're married, we'll have baths together whenever we want, cuddles and all. We'll have everything we've ever dreamed of and more." He smiles, imagining their future together, filled with love and happiness.

"ummm! Can we have big sleepovers?"

Aegon chuckles, enjoying her innocent enthusiasm. "Yes, we can have big sleepovers, little sister. Every night, if you want. We'll curl up together in our bed, wrapped in each other's arms as we dream the night away. And in the morning, we'll wake up to each other's smiles and share all sorts of cuddles and kisses."

"ummm!" She squeezed him "and play times?"

Aegon grins, tightening his hold on her and planting another kiss on her neck. "Oh, plenty of playtime, little sister. We'll have all the playtime we could ever want. We'll explore every inch of each other's bodies, and we'll find new ways to pleasure each other that we could only dream of. We'll make each other feel things we never thought possible and we'll grow even closer than we already are."

"and babies?!?"

Aegon chuckles, a warm smile spreading across his face. "Yes, my love. We'll have babies. Many, many babies. We'll fill our castle with tiny, wriggling, giggling Targaryens and we'll watch them grow and play together, just like we do. Our children will be the most beautiful, most cherished, most fearsome children in all the Seven Kingdoms, and we'll love them more than anything in this world."

"ummm... I want a hundred babies"

Aegon laughs wholeheartedly, clearly amused by her boundless enthusiasm. "A hundred, you say? Well, my little sister, you're certainly ambitious. But let's start with just a few, shall we? We'll make a few beautiful, strong, healthy children, and then we'll see where it goes from there. Maybe we'll even reach a hundred in time, who knows?"

"okay..." She nods "can we have a sleep over after dinner? Pretty please"

Aegon smiles, running his fingers through her hair. "Of course, my love. After dinner, we'll have all the sleepovers you could ever want. we'll have all night together to cuddle, play, and dream. And we'll start planning our future and the family we're going to have. "

She nodded and finished up her bath before she climbed out drying off and wandering around his chambers nude as she waited for the maids to bring her dress and do her hair

Aegon watched her move gracefully around his chambers, admiring her naked form as she waited for the maids to bring her dress and ready her for the evening. He stepped out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his waist. "You look so beautiful, little sister. Just standing there, so free and unabashedly yourself. I could spend hours just watching you move like that."

"ohh? I like walking around like this my dresses can be very uncomfortable so sometimes in my chambers, I just spent all day like this"

Aegon nodded, understanding her point. "I can only imagine how uncomfortable those dresses must be, especially given your...uh...curvature and how most dressmakers seem to think all women are the shape of planks. Perhaps I'll commission some new clothes to be made for you. Something more... accommodating... and yet still regal and befitting of a princess, of course."

she giggled and nodded, jumping on him to sit on his bed cuddling for a while

Aegon chuckled as she cuddled up to him, enjoying the closeness and warmth she provided. He held her tight, running his fingers through her hair. "Do you think our children will inherit your fiery spirit and beauty, my love? Or do you think they'll take after me?"

"I don't care so long as their babies" she giggled nuzzling into his chest but she stopped and giggled even more

Aegon chuckled, enjoying her giggles and nuzzling. He planted a light kiss on the top of her head. "Well, babies they will be, that's for certain. But it's not just about being babies, little sister. They're going to be Targaryen babies, and as such, they'll need to have the right blood, the right spirit, the right look, and the right fire. After all, we're bringing them into a family of greatness, and they'll need to live up to our expectations and our legacy."

she ignored his words and giggled "You sword things it's playtime again" she giggled moving her hips a little as even though the towel it was obvious he was hard again,

Aegon chuckled, feeling her shifting hips as she giggled. He raised an eyebrow in amusement, a smirk on his face. "Playtime again, is it? You're always so eager to play, aren't you, little sister? But we can't keep playing now. We've got to get dressed and presentable for dinner with our mother. We wouldn't want her to suspect what we've been up to in here, would we?"

"but Aegon..." She whined moving the towel away so she could rub against his hips with her own

Aegon smirked, biting his lip as he felt her rubbing against him, the towel doing little to conceal his arousal. He tried to remain somewhat composed, attempting to be the responsible one. "Little sister, we mustn't. We've got to get ready...oh gods, you're making it difficult to think straight."

"please" she begged "just a little playtime aegon. Please my master" she toyed with him making sure he felt as her cunt rubbed on his cock though the thin towel,

Aegon groaned, his resolve weakening at her eager pleas and her touch. The feel of her intimate rubbing against him was almost too much to resist. "Y/n, you temptress... You're a mischievous little one aren't you? How can I say no to those pretty eyes and those pleading words? Fine...a little playtime. Just enough to... take the edge off."

she nodded excitedly almost ripping the towel away and moving herself over him taking him in her hand and wasting no time moving him inside her, she moaned loudly and she happily began to bounce

Aegon groaned loudly as he slipped inside her cunt, the sensation of her bouncing on him taking his breath away. Aegon gripped her hips, helping her set a steady, rhythmic pace.

"Aegon!" She begged her hands on his stomach as she gets faster

Aegon groaned again, the pace quickening and intensifying his sensation. He reached up to caress her face, his gaze fixed on her with a mix of lust and adoration. "Y/n...you feel so good...so right. You're...my perfect little sister...my everything..."

She pulled on his wrist moving his hand down from her face down her neck to cup her breast as she moved,

Aegon groaned again, the feeling of her flesh beneath his fingers only amplifying his desires. "Gods, I love you" he panted out, his breath coming in heavy breaths as she continued to move on him, pleasure coursing through his body like wildfire

she continues happily often giggling and screaming out for him "my master..." She cooed

Aegon's heart raced as he looked at her, her sounds of pleasure and her words sending waves of desire through him. "Yes...your master..." he groaned. "I'm all yours, my little sister." He pulled her closer, his hands roaming across her skin, touching and caressing every inch he could reach.

Suddenly the door opened to the maids coming to get them ready but of course immediately saw the two having sex

Aegon had been so caught up in the moment with Y/n that he hadn't heard the door open. The sound and the sight of the maids entering the room brought him back to reality with a jolt. "What! What are you doing here!? Is there no privacy in this castle? Can't we have a moment without unwelcome interruptions?" Aegon's voice was sharp and annoyed, as he sat up but his body still intertwined with Y/n's his hands still on her and she still bounced.

She maids went back outside without a word and as soon as they did,

Aegon's annoyance quickly turned to pleasure and surprise as he felt her reach her orgasm, her scream echoing in the room. "Oh gods...Y/n...you're incredible" he gasped, overwhelmed by her intensity and passion. He held her tightly, his own body teetering on the edge of release as she tightened around him. As the sensations washed over him, Aegon felt his own release building up. The intensity was almost too much to bear "Oh gods, I can't hold back anymore" he groaned, his body tensing as he reached his own orgasm, sending his seed deep inside her with an intense mix of pleasure and frustration,

she giggled her hips and legs trembling as she felt him lay his seed in her "umm baby number one?" She asked stroking her tummy,

Aegon chuckled breathlessly at her comment, taking a moment to recover from their shared release "I hope so, little sister. Nothing would make me happier than to watch you carry and bear our children. A whole castle full of Targaryen princes and princesses." He lifted her chin, kissing her softly and nuzzling her neck.

She smiled and kissed him too before she jumped out of bed and called the maids back who quickly came in to begin prepping the two for dinner.

Aegon groaned, reluctantly leaving the bed and joining her in getting ready. He still wore a grin, the memories of their intimate moment still fresh in his mind and the anticipation of the future still running through his veins. He glanced at her every now and again, sharing secret smiles with her as the maids fussed over them, dressing them up for the evening's events.

Y/n sat on the bed given she had no vanity as she was in Aegon’s chambers as the maid did her hair braiding it beautifully even as Y/n sat nude clearly something the maid was used to,

The other maid made a fuss of Aegon trying to clean his hair and nails, But Aegon chuckled at the image of Y/n, sitting nude on his bed, completely comfortable in her own skin while the maid fussed over her hair. He took a moment to admire her, his eyes roving over her curves and smooth skin. "Do you always sit like that while maids tend to your hair, little sister?" he teased, a smirk on his face.

"mhm" she nodded "humm?" She asked noticing the dress that had been brought for her the dress was black, not green.

Aegon looked at the clothes the maid had laid out for him and again all black no green "What is this? Why have you laid out only black clothes for us, maid? Where is the green? Where are our house colours?"

"your mother insisted Prince Aegon. Your half-sister princess Rhaenyra is coming to dinner with her family and your father insists on a swap of colours you shall wear black than green" the maid explained

"Very well," he sighed. "If my father has commanded us to wear black tonight, then black it shall be. But make sure you lay out our green clothes for tomorrow. I want everyone to know who we are and that we're not to be messed with."

Y/n dressed too, into a beautiful black gown but her maid did shoot Aegon a glare when dressing Y/n into her undergarments given she has to clean some spilt seed on her leg

Aegon watched as Y/n's maid dressed her into the black gown, a flicker of annoyance crossing his features as he noticed the maid's glare. He knew what she was cleaning up, given their earlier activities. "Is there a problem, maid?" he asked bluntly, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

"no Prince Aegon" the maid nodded

"Good." Aegon turned his gaze to Y/n, admiring her in the black gown. He couldn't help but notice how sweet she looked,

"You look stunning, Y/n," he said, walking over to her and taking her hand. "Black suits you far more than it suits me."

"humm... I don't like it" she pouted "We should wear green"

Aegon sighed, the frown returning to his face. "I know, little sister. I agree with you. We should be wearing green tonight. But our father has commanded us to wear black, and there's nothing we can do against him. Believe me, I've tried."

she hummed and grabbed a green belt from his wardrobe and wrapped it around him, she then grabbed only her green jewelry as a silent way of showing her annoyance

Aegon couldn't help but smile at her small but rebellious rebellion. He appreciated her insistence on maintaining their Targaryen identity, especially against his father’s orders. He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to his side. "You're as willful as ever, little sister," he whispered in her ear. "But I suppose that's what I love about you. Thank you for honouring our house colours, even if it's our little secret."

she smiled and the two shared a passionate loving kiss before heading down to the dinner. 

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Always room for seconds (dp x dc)

"There they go again," says Aunt Alicia as she looks at the hazmat-clad backs of her sister and her husband jumping into their mish-mash-of-a-van. "And on Thanksgiving too," she finishes to herself as she turns toward her niece and nephew. Neither of them look surprised, though Jazz is clearly more affected if the tick in her jaw is any indication.

"They promised," she practically spits but Danny just sighs and puts a hand on her shoulder. It seems to draw the fight out of Jazz a bit and she sags onto herself.

Alicia loves her sister but she can be so irresponsible sometimes.

"Come on kids, let's go back inside. It's about time to put the turk-" she stops short, then groans. Maddie had insisted on bringing the turkey on account of not wanting Alicia to go to all the trouble, and Alicia had agreed on the condition that her sister wouldn't try to make it. "...And the turkey is still in the van isn't it?"

Danny makes a face. "It's probably for the best. I'm pretty sure I saw it move on the way here."

Alicia doesn't let her head fall into her hands, but only just. Instead, she takes a deep breath to calm herself down to rally her thoughts. "Alright. It'll be too late by the time we drive to town and buy a new raw one, so we can just get some already made from the store. That good for you guys?"

Jazz and Danny make sounds of assent before all three of them pile up in the car. Town isn't too far away, and the trip is mostly silent. Alicia is hesitating over what to say to cheer up her niece and nephew. In the end, they pull up to the grocery store before she manages to come up with anything.

"Dad was also supposed to bring desert," Jazz mentions as she grabs a caddie and wheels it back to them.

"I made apple pie just in case," Alicia answers. Despite her dislike for him, she can admit that Jack Fenton is a generous man. However, as she has learned over the years, that generosity doesn't extend to fudge. Which is why she's got her famous apple pie ready to pop into the oven.

Danny nods relieved, as he files in behind his sister. The three of them are rolling past the frozen section when a familiar voice cuts through the store music.

"Alicia?"

At that, Alicia looks up to see the face of one and only Martha Kent. Her lips stretch into a smile unconsciously at the sight.

"Martha, hi," she answers as the other woman starts walking closer. "How are you?"

"I'm good," the other woman says as she stops in front of them. "Just doing some last-minute shopping." Then Martha looks to Danny and Jazz and gives them a smile. "And who might these two be?"

"This is Jazz and Danny," Alicia introduces them, "my niece and nephew. They're spending Thanksgiving up at the cabin with me."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Martha says sincerely. "You left your sister and her husband in charge of the turkey, then?" She winks.

Alicia winces. "Ah, not exactly."

"They had a work emergency," Jazz says, unhappy.

Martha lets out a sympathetic oh.

"That's why we're here," Alicia explains. "They left with the turkey without realizing, so we'll have to settle for store-bought this year."

Martha makes a noise of sympathy before her face shifts into something more pensive. "You know," she starts. "I've got a big turkey at home and there's only going to be my son and me to eat it. If you guys would like, we'd love to have you over to help us with it."

"Oh we couldn't possibly-" Alicia starts to protest but Martha takes a step forward and takes her hands.

"You'd be doing us a favour," Martha says, her hands still into Alicia's as she looks up earnestly at the redhead. And damn it all because Alicia can feel a blush spreading on her cheeks at that.

"Alright," Alicia says, too flustered to argue.

Martha squeezes her hands once before letting go and Alicia can't help but miss the warmth of them. "Then it's settled."

"Alright," repeats Alicia. "We'll have to swing back home, though. I made pie."

"That's wonderful!" Martha's smile is radiant and it makes something in Alicia's chest warm.

She disguises it with a cough before speaking up. "Is six thirty too early for you?"

"It's perfect. We'll be waiting for you then," Martha says. "And for your sister and her husband too, if they manage to tear themselves away from work."

"That's not likely," mumbles Danny under his breath. Uncharacteristically, Jazz doesn't say anything about her brother's manners, only putting her own hand on his shoulder. Martha catches Alicia's eye and they exchange a look.

"Well, we'll be glad to have you three, anywho," Martha states firmly which gets her a hesitant smile from Jazz.

Alicia clears her throat. "We'd better get going if we want to be ready in time."

"Oh yes," Martha agrees. "I have to make sure the turkey's not burning." Then she winks, and for some reason, Alicia can feel that pesky blush coming back. It's made worse by the shrewd look Jazz gives her.

"See you soon!" says Martha as she leaves.

"Bye," Alicia answers back a little weakly. Then she looks down to the ground and sighs. When she straightens her head, she's immediately on guard as she catches her niece's smug look.

"What?" Alicia asks warily.

"Is Martha single?" Jazz asks, with a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth face.

"Yeah," the older redhead answers slowly. "Why?"

"Just wanted to know," Jazz says innocently. And even Danny is looking at his sister suspiciously now. "since you've got a crush on her and all."

"I do no-I don't know what you're talking about!" Alicia protests though she feels her cheeks warming for the third time today.

And now Danny is starting to smirk too as he exchanges a look with his sister. "Oh," he starts as he looks towards Martha's disappearing figure. "This is going to be fun."

[leahswife]

two things can be true at once

summary: the aftermath of your nights with jenni. part three of "where do we stand".

prequel, part one, part two, part three

you were speechless.

here she was, aitana, standing right in front of you, looking like she had rushed here first thing in the morning while a naked jenni was hiding in your closet.

"listen, i just want to talk, okay? i know you said i shouldn't approach you until i figured my shit out but i have. that's why i'm here." she looked slightly scared you might push her away but apart from how she looked every other time you were together, there seemed to be confidence bubbling within her now.

when you didn't answer because you were too lost in your thoughts and quite frankly, still very much in shock, she continued, "can i come in?" she asked. innocently. absolutely and irrefutably unaware of the vulgarity that had happened in that room the night before. there were still traces of it behind, jenni's clothes scattered on the floor and both of your underwear somewhere in the room.

you cleared your throat, heart pounding in your chest at the mess you found yourself in and you couldn't quite look aitana in the eye. "um, listen. my room is a mess right now, can we meet downstairs? i promise we'll talk." she gave you a smile, relieved you were open to hear her and nodded, "i'll be downstairs. at breakfast, sí?" 

you nodded in agreement and watched her walk towards the elevator before you closed the door and let out a deep breath.

fuck.

you looked over at the closet jenni was still in and walked over to it, opening it to see a naked jenni with crossed arms. 

"i don't appreciate you keeping me waiting."

"jenni, get dressed and leave."

"what? so all it takes is for aitana to show up and now you're throwing me away like garbage?" she got out of the closet, with a frown on her face directed at you.

"what? no." you fumbled with your words, "what are you talking about? i just– we're just gonna talk. and i didn't know you meant to stay?" you continued as she walked past you and started getting dressed in a haste.

she ignored you as she kept getting dressed, which just left you more confused and more nervous than you already were, "jennifer, can you answer me?" you begged. 

she finally looked up and walked over to you while putting her hair up in a bun, "you're right. i didn't. you were just a fuck." she said coldly, very different from the way she had treated you the day before. you don't know why but that felt like a stab in the stomach. "why are you talking like that?" you asked quietly, like a kid too afraid to leave their corner and face the inevitable consequences of their foolishness.

she chuckled with no emotion behind it, "that's what this was, right?" you felt yourself shrink under her fierce gaze. you thought that's what this was but after the two times you were together, you couldn't deny there was something more. 

–

the first time, although she claimed to have wanted to do bad things to you, she had been so gentle, always asking if it was okay to do something different, exploring your body, always listening to your sounds of approval and what you enjoyed better and what not, learning how to move with you before she got rougher.

the second time was more free, with laughter and banter in between kisses and gasps as she fucked you hard and mercilessly into the bed. and after she would lay kisses all over your body and clean you and get you water, making sure you were comfortable. you would just lay back with a smile and tease her about how you didn't know she was such a softie. 

"solo contigo." she would whisper before kissing you softly. soon, sighs and moans of pleasure would fill the room as you went back to touching each other, this time slowly and gently. 

the night ended with you both cuddling to each other for warmth, you tracing her tattoos and asking each other about past relationships. "so, is it really true you dated alexia?" you felt her chest bounce up and down with laughter and you couldn't help to let out a giggle yourself. "wow, you've been dying to ask that question, haven't you?" you looked up at her from the place you were laying on her chest and saw her amused smile, eyes glinting with something you couldn't quite decipher. 

you propped yourself on your elbow and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her answer. she squinted her eyes at you, "porque quieres saber?" you shrugged, "because i want to know if alexia really stooped that low." you laughed at her opening her mouth in fake shock, "i'm kidding, i'm kidding." you kissed her cheek when you felt her fingers prod at your sides, tickling you. "jenni, broma, broma!" you fell back onto the bed, trying to get her hands off of you. 

she finally backed off and stood on her elbow to look down at you, "did you ever date aitana?" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, "no, why do you ask?"

she shrugged, "i just think there is something between you two."

"we are nothing." you claimed but jenni gave you a knowing look. you huffed in frustration and told her everything that had happened between you two.

"sounds messy. so if she had confessed to you that night, you never would've showed up at my door?"

"no, i wouldn't have." you answered simply and honestly.

she nodded and traced her finger around your stomach, "what if she confessed now?" she asked quietly, eyes meeting yours. again, your hearts starts beating unusually fast, something that shouldn't happen in any situation with jenni but lately it has. truth was, you didn't have an answer for her right now. you've wanted aitana for so long but with her indecisiveness and pulling away had thrown you off. plus jenni came into the scene and you started exploring something that was just supposed to be fun, but laying in this bed with her, having a serious conversation after having been touched with so much care didn't feel like just fun anymore. still, how could you entertain such a thought? jenni lived in mexico, you lived in barcelona. even at national camp, you wouldn't cross each other's paths. so how could you ever work?

you shrugged and stretched, trying to seem nonchalant, "i'd ask her for a threesome with you." you joked, not wanting to ruin the mood and grabbed her hand to intertwine your fingers. she chuckled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. you noticed this little change and rolled over on top of her, locking her hands above her head, "can we not talk about aitana? you don't see me bringing up your situationships." "hm, cute you think i do those." you tilt your head at her in confusion. she didn't? then what were you? your thoughts are cut off as she sits up and kisses you softly. you immediately melt against her mouth and let go of her wrists to wrap your arms around her neck, kissing her back. 

–

"was that all i was to you?" your voice couldn't get any smaller if it tried to, disbelief and disappointment all over your face. jenni clenched her jaw and looked away. 

"don't take it personally, princesa." she said finally before walking past you and out the door, leaving you dumbfounded.

–

after having showered and getting ready, you tried your best to not fall apart at the emotions and anxiety going through you and went downstairs to the cafeteria where you saw aitana talking to keira and lucy. you walked up behind them and tugged on aitana's hair slightly, making her turn towards you.

"you wanted to talk?" 

her face lightened up at seeing you and she nodded, "sí."

"do you mind if we get a table here? i'm just really hungry and don't feel like really leaving the hotel today." you suggested quietly to her after she stood up. she looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, "pero estás bien?" you felt your throat start to close up so you just nodded and started your way to one of the free tables away from the other girls.

after you got breakfast, you sat down in front of aitana and silently slid her a plate of what you knew she liked first thing in the morning. even though she had already eaten, she thought the gesture was so sweet, she smiled and accepted the plate with a thank you.

after a few minutes of eating in silence she cleared her throat and you looked up at her, "i want to be straight with you." she started. you put down your fork and nodded at her to keep going, "i know how unfair i have been to you these last few months. how i didn't give you any certainty of what we were, of what i wanted, of how i have been pushing you away lately. i have been stupid." you chuckled at her choice of words which made her giggle a little before turning serious again.

"i thought– i didn't know how to describe what i was feeling. i only had felt this way towards boys when i was younger and even then, i wouldn't let it get as deep as it got with you. i just was always too focused on something else, studies, football, whatever. and i have been the busiest as i have ever been in my career and i thought that letting someone in that way would stray me away or distract me and–"

"aita, breathe."

"right, sorry. " she took a break to take a breath in and then continued, "and the truth is, i felt distracted. all i wanted was to be around you and have more of what you would give me and then i realized that i was excited for something else other than just football. and i got scared. i got scared i wouldn't perform as well because i didn't want to spend all of my evenings studying matches, or talk about it all the time. but then, when i didn't have any of you, it just made me miserable and that distracted me too and these weeks i've been sad and tired and playing has just got harder."

you took a good look at her and noticed the bags under her eyes that you had just assumed was because of her crazy schedule, "what i realized now is that you were a breath of fresh air, and i'm better when i am with you. you excite me and you make me want to know more about myself, and work on myself and be better and again, i was just stupid." she put both hands over her eyes and let out a sigh, "keira calls me a baby gay."

you almost choked on your juice for that, "tana, that's–" you let out a giggle, "yeah, that's about right."

"don't laugh!" she whined and you gave her a teasing smile, "let me finish." you put your hands in the air and nodded at her. "i have feelings for you and i'm not scared of them anymore." your breath hitched and your heart could really help you in this moment and beat normally for a second. this was all you wanted to hear in the last few months but now you felt trapped. how the tables have fucking turned. 

"aitana, you don't know how much i have wanted you to say that." you started and took a deep breath, "but i never knew if i would ever get that from you. and for months, i waited and waited, until i didn't anymore." you looked at her and saw her deflate in her seat, like a kicked puppy. "i'm not with anyone but it wouldn't be fair to you or me if i just ran into your arms." you said, soft and gentle.

she nodded, "i know you don't owe me anything. and of course you're free and i understand if someone has your attention too. but if you're ever ready, i'd like to.. eh.. what's the english word? court you?" she struggled and once again you couldn't help the giggle that came out of your mouth. "we're so formal now, miss bonmatí." she swatted at your shoulder as you giggled. "aita aita, i got it. i'm open to that but right now i think i just need some time for myself, okay?"

she nodded, "but can we be friends again please? because i really miss you and i promise you this time i won't kiss you unless you're ready or want to or-"

"aitanita, do you ever know how to speak in small sentences?" you teased, "but yes, we can be friends. i've missed you too." she beamed at that and scooched over the seats to hug you. you held her close and kissed the top of her head.

"but now i wanna hear all about how i was your gay awakening." you yelped as you felt her hand punch your side.

[harunayuuka2060]

Neige: MC! 🌸🌸🌸

MC: ...

MC: What is it, Neige? You are quite energetic today.

Neige: We're going to have another class reunion in RSA! It will be tomorrow! Be sure to be there!

MC: ...

MC: Neige, I don't think you should be inviting me in another class reunion.

Neige: Eh? *sad frowns* Why?

MC: I was not a student of Royal Swords Academy. And I only accompanied you last time because I was a concierge and you were my client.

Neige: *pouts* But the reunion is not about being students or not! *then giggles* The others will be bringing their significant others too!

Che'nya: That's right, nya! *hugs MC from behind* *resting his chin on their shoulder*

MC: More of a reason I shouldn't come. I'm not anyone's significant other.

Che'nya: Me? :3

MC: ...

Neige: *giggles* See? So please, MC? Promise me you'll be there or else I will be mad at you. *pouts*

MC: ...

MC: *sigh* Fine. I will inform Vil that I won't be able to assist him on that day.

Neige: Yay!

Che'nya: We should wear matching clothes nya! :3

MC: I don't want to.

Che'nya: *whispers* I'm changing your wardrobe.

MC: ...

Vil: Is there really a need for you to come?

MC: I was pressured.

Vil: ...

Vil: In that case, I'll be going with you.

MC: Huh?

Vil: If Neige is inviting an outsider, then I'm guessing it's fine that I tag along.

MC: ...

Vil: I'll ask Neige myself. If he refuses, you won't go.

MC: ...

MC: Alright.

The RSA alumni: Neige~! Che'nya~!

Che'nya and Neige: Hello, guys~!

MC and Vil: ...

Vil: *mutters* They're like kids.

MC: ...

Che'nya: I thought some of you would bring your lovers today nya?

Neige: Were they unable to join us?

Classmate A: Yes. My wife is busy, but she wants me to enjoy so it's fine if I don't come home early.

Classmate B: Which I'm sure you won't do. You'll leave after 15 minutes.

Classmate A: Hey!

Classmate A: ...I'll stay for 30 minutes.

Classmate B: See?

Classmate C: Oh! And MC! It's nice to see you again!

MC: *nods* *then smiles* Likewise.

Classmate C: I heard from Neige that Che'nya didn't leave you and is currently staying at your house.

Classmate C: He's really putting up that fence, huh?

MC: ...

MC: I don't think I understand.

Vil: ...

Che'nya and Neige's classmates: *are starting to get enthusiastic with their conversation*

Classmate D: Neige! I asked you to recommend me with someone!

Classmate D: You knew I'm single! And a hottie attended our reunion last time and you didn't introduce me!

Che'nya: Nyahaha~! Like I'd even let you come close. :3

His other classmates: *laughs*

Vil: ...

Vil: *whispers to MC* I'm bored. We should take our leave.

MC: *nods* I'll tell Neige and Che'nya.

Classmate A: So, Che'nya? When are you going to introduce MC as your significant other?

Che'nya: Hmmm... *smiles* Next time! Once MC accepts I'm serious about them!

MC: !!!

Vil: ...

Neige: *chuckles* MC is blushing.

MC: ...I'm not.

Vil: ...

Vil: *stood up from his seat* My apologies, there's somewhere MC and I need to be.

RSA alumni: It's okay!

MC: Che'nya-

Che'nya: It's fine nya~. I'll see you at home~! :3

MC: ...

MC: Yes. We'll talk at home.

Vil: ...

Vil: MC, let's go.

Vil: ...

Vil: What do you feel about Che'nya?

MC: Huh?

Vil: ...

Vil: Do you think you can fall for him?

MC: ...

MC: If I'm being honest...

MC: I might have already, Vil.

Vil: ...

Vil: Huh. You're still not sure then.

MC: Yes. Even so, he's the only person who has stayed with me and openly says he likes me. *smiles to themselves*

Vil: ...

[chaotic-toasters]

wHy wOulD yOu dO tHiS iN tHe LiViNg rOoM?

Caitlin Foord x Teen!Reader (Platonic)

TW: Alludes (mentions of?) to smut, no actual graphic descriptions or anything

Minors DNI just to be safe

-------------------

"-No, of course not," you scoffed to your former teammate as you walked onto the driveway. "That's summin' Kyra would do, not me."

Jen smiled. "Well, you might do it if you're sleep deprived. You're nearly as crazy as Kyra when you don't get your rest."

You climbed the steps, pulling your key out of your pocket. "I take offense to that, Beats. No one likes being compared to Kyra, ever. Don't tell her I said tha-aUGH!"

You didn't know what you were expecting when you opened the door, but it was not your sister engaging in... sexual activities with your third captain.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" your hands flew up to cover your eyes as you stumbled about, hitting your back on the doorframe and falling over as Jen sat on the other end of the line, confused. "CAITLIN!"

The frantic rustling of clothing sounded out. "I-"

"wHy wOuLd yOu dO tHiS iN tHe LiViNg rOoM?" You shrieked, voice pitch rapidly changing as you shot to your feet. "YoUr liTtLe siStEr lIvEs wItH yOU!"

Caitlin's Aussie accent was thick with embarrassment. "Y/N, you said you wouldn't be home 'till tomorrow!"

You screamed, blindly sprinting out of the house, phone forgotten on the floor with your hands clawing at your eyes. You didn't even know where you were going, but you from the aggressive honking of cars, you'd crossed the street at least twice. Thankfully for you, your feet had brought you to a familiar house in St. Albans.

"KIM! KIM! KIIIIIM!" you sobbed, desperately banging on the wooden door as the earlier image lingered in your mind. "KIIII-HIII-HIM!"

Your captain yanked the door open, clad in old Arsenal sweats and a jumper. "What happened, Y/N? Are you alright?"

"Caitlin and and and Katie THEYAUAHAUHAUHLBLUHUUHUH!" You babbled, hands rubbing frantically at your eyes like someone had pepper-sprayed you in the face. "AUAHAABUHHUH!"

"Caitlin and Katie what, sweetheart?" Kim pulled you inside worriedly, moving you into a sitting position on the floor and joining you after closing the door. "I can't understand you."

"THEY WERE HAVING SE- SEH—"

Kim gently pried your hands from your eyes as you launched your face into her shoulder, lips pressed into a thin line. "Did you knock, kiddo?"

"THEY WERE IN THE LIVING ROOM!" you cried hysterically, shaking your head as you tried to shake the ghost image. "I DON'T 'WIKE IT!"

The Scot choked on her spit. "What?!"

As you screamed bloody murder into her shoulder, Kim reached for her phone, dialing your national team captain's number. "Steph? Can you and Leah go to Caitlin's flat? She and Katie need a stern talkin' to."

"Why?" you could hear the defender ask.

"They were doing it in the living room. Y/n's in bits."

"Put Y/N on the phone."

Kim obliged, holding the phone to your ear.

"Hey, kiddo—"

"THEY WERE DOING—THEY WERE— THEY AUHHAUGHH—" you cried again, struggling to free your hands from Kim's firm grasp. "I STILL SEE IT, I STILL SEE ITTT!"

Steph sighed. "We're on our way."

"Thanks, Steph, I'll talk to you later. Bye," Kim hung up the phone, wrapping you up in a tight hug as you squirmed. "It's okay, Y/N, it's okay."

You dug your face deeper into her shoulder with a whine. "I don't wanna go back there, Kimmy. I don't wanna."

She murmured her agreement. "You can stay in the spare room tonight, kiddo. I'll have Steph and Leah pick up some of your stuff, and we'll figure out the rest tomorrow."

-------------------

"Hey, Y/N, how's it‐ why are your eyes so red?" Cloe questioned as she sat next to you in her own cubby, concerned. "Have you been crying?"

"Maybe," you answered hoarsely. "I don't know."

Steph whispered something into the Canadian's ear, your teammates eyes filling with surprise and pity. "Oof, sorry, kid."

"Me too, Cloe," you mumbled miserably. "Me too."

The last of the gunners filed into the changing room, your sister one of them. "Y/N, could you step outside so we ca—"

You screamed at the top of your lungs, jolting away and diving into Cloe's arms. "NO!"

"Give her time, Cait," Steph advised, directing her away from you. "You might've scarred her for life."

You sniffled in Cloe's comforting hold. "Why did you have to be the naked one?"

Katie shrugged apologetically. "She is a pillow princess."

You shrieked. "EWWW!"

What am I doing