#might delete this whole thing later

[end-orfino]

What if i'd make an art sideblog

[frenchphobe]

griddlehark modern pen pal au where they don’t know each other but are assigned as pen pals for those pen pal projects you get in middle school and it just turns into them sending each other hate mail and somehow they just keep going for several years, even though they dont rly have to

[trek-tracks]

Well, I've experienced some pretty rough weeks of bad news in my life, but this one's certainly up there. (Nothing health or family-related.) If anyone's inclined to say something nice or kind about my existence making the world a tiny bit better, I would be rather grateful.

[thelaurenshippen]

ah yes, the sweet sting of rejection from a billion dollar corporation who believes that "action stories don't appeal to romance audiences", welcome back my old familiar friend

[super-marvel-dc]

Jason and Y/N at another one of Bruce's parties

These are shitty, but I thought it was funny at the moment

[cloudysarts]

this show would be good if literally everything about it was different

[shizunitis]

i’m probably extremely late to the party, but what is it with content creators (youtubers specifically) feeling the need to jump on the “oh no, people are reading Problematic Books and these people are Women Primarily, and this is Terrible” bandwagon?

a day doesn’t go by where a video doesn’t pop up in my feed titled something like “reading the worst book in the world and telling you why it’s the worst so you don’t have to read it” by Young Person in College with a Psych Major, featuring the ever-present “reading comprehension is dead” panic and an unironic use of the “society is experiencing a moral decline” argument. if it has a comedic tone it’s immediately rising three ranks in the insufferable olimpics.

what do they even want? a paragraph somewhere in the book where the main character is possessed by the spirit of the author and recognises the harm such a situation might cause in real life? an in depth apology or for the author to disclaim their own moral stances in an introductory chapter? should they (usually she, which is a whole Thing) also crawl on their belly and beg for your understanding? for them to chastise their own readers in case they’re enjoying it wrong?

the way some youtuber atop their horse-shaped soapboax can both say, “censorship is bad, people should have access to books unimpeded by political influence” and also “this book should have been banned!!! i even saw it SOLD at a BOOK STORE!!!” without flinching is astounding.

finding ideas of actual merit to dissect in your 1 hour video essay is difficult, i’m sure. but fuck man just start making 10 minute r/AITA reading videos, it could fit the same amount of condescension with none of the effort, which is what i’m assuming is the goal at this point. you used to be awesome to watch.

[seaside-hysteria]

Hot take but Teen Titans vol 3 era Cassie wasn’t that bad. Her designs were kinda terrible yes, BUT. It did have some interesting characterization and I feel like people wanna ignore that completely because they gave her lipstick?? Like how can you ignore her arc around the grief of losing her basically sister just cuz she kissed some boys or whatever. Ttvol3 Cassie definitely could’ve been better, like, leagues better, but still. It’s important to her story and it’s weird when people try to ignore it entirely

ALSO without ttvol3 we wouldn’t have had the mess that is Rose and Cassie. This is the price we have to pay for toxic yuri

[rzeckism]

i don’t agree that gojo doesn’t care. i think he cares, i think what’s happening is affecting him, But he is coping and acting very much like himself; he puts what has to be done before himself and how it’s affecting him. he doesn’t want to kill megumi, he might love him, but we have seen before with geto that it doesn’t matter whenever he loves someone or not. if he needs to kill them then he will. he’s fighting for a better future for others, not himself

so yeah, i don’t know why people are mad at his reaction to nanami’s death or the megumi sukuna situation. this is gojo’s whole life, this is how it’s always been for him. he is used to it and he puts what has to be done before himself or what he would want

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

As much as I like T/enko and as much as her character type appeals to me, I think I will never be able to fully get into her character because some of the stuff she says just perfectly mimics real shit I've had said to me as the only transmasc person in the room in queer spaces before, and I can't entirely get over the discomfort that makes me feel

[silverislander]

i'm thiiiiis close to just blocking the whole j/v tag and/or the individual tags for both characters :)))

[braidedhades]

just found out that non-aromantics actually have feelings towards the people they decide to have a crush on. Apparently it’s not like, “hmmm should I consider this person for dating? what are the pros and cons here?” Or like, “I want to be really close friends with that person” But it’s like an actual emotional response or something? An emotion that is different from the “I wanna be really close friends” emotion??

also I just figured out that I’m aromantic

[sulphuricgrin]

Gonna talk about my year and how I think I'm in a more optimistic place compared to last December. Warning: mental health, mentions of self-harm but not elaborating how, mention of previous attempt but not mentioning how. ramblings of a person who wants this outta their head.

i'm bewildered by how I got to where I am now

Let me start off with the fact that September-December 2023 was a low point. Heavy anxiety, long manic episode, taking lots of overtime, being the best in my little department but my manager refusing to do a yearly review, and a relationship I didn't know how to end led to a severe anxiety attack.

I took a month off work to work with my psychiatrist on my medication. Within two hours of my first day back, my coworker triggered my C-PTSD. Unable to flee, can't fight, I do the only thing to control my emotions - self harm. Long story short, HR notices and sends me to the hospital. I'm sent back out of work and start a partial program.

I've done this before in 2011. I do my best at the program, stayed there for a month. We change up my medication. They help me find a therapist for when I finish the program. I had some hang ups with the program. Music therapy would make me want to harm myself. I told my case worker the truth and they told me I can leave those sessions when I want.

I hate positive affirmations. I won't use examples because they're valid to other people and I don't want to be negative to what might help others. To me they always felt hollow, insipid, childish. It never clicked, no matter at what age I tried it.

I've mentioned several times that I like philosophy. During the program, I brought with me Medications by Marcus Aurelius to read during lunch or the few minutes between sessions. Quotes on stoicism became my positive affirmations in sessions.

"The happiness of you life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength."

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

Anyways, I got better, or so I thought. The day I "graduated" as I drove home, my mom told me my dad finally died. That's a complicated situation, with complicated emotions. Anyways, I spiraled. Self-harm and isolation. By the end of the week, I was forced into inpatient.

Inpatient was immensely worthless, except for one bit. My whole ward was shut down because of fucking Covid. So you were stuck in your shared room with your roommate, no sessions, no walking around. Little stimulation. The longest 3 days of my life. I've done inpatient 2 times before, 2012 and 2017 (for suicide attempt then), so I know 72 hrs is the minimum and that as long as I'm not a risk I can leave. Thank fuck my mom was able to give me a philosophy book to read. And that I was able to get access to a pencil that I had to return at the end of the day, so I could draw (and not with crayons). I did start writing for Fate-Touched when I was in the ward.

Anyways, they helped figure out with blood tests that my Tegretol and Seroquel interact. Therefore my Seroquel has to be doubled. And they put me on Gabapentin for anxiety. I can safely say it's helping now a year later, besides upping the dosages about 3 times since. I occasionally see my therapist who's pagan. First therapist I've ever clicked with, one who believes my feelings are valid, one who doesn't think I'll change my mind about children in the future. I'd see her more often if I didn't have to pay out of pocket. But she's noticed my improvement.

a year later, I am single and happier

a year later, I work for myself. While I'm not crazy about that, it's proving to be healthier. (I didn't quit my job. they illegally fired me over my disability. Yes, I've suing)

a year later, I'm back to being creative. Similar to the levels back in 2013 and before. People are even buying my art?!

a year later, I have people I can call friends (I'm genuinely trying not to cry writing this- never mind, I'm crying)

a year later, I'm living more in the present.

it's not all perfect. I try not to think about the near distant future. I try not to think about the existential dread. But I'm trying. And it gets better.

“What we do now echoes in eternity.”

[kitsunecrows]

study break! 🍵 (read tags)

[zafiro-anyejo]

very few 'parenting' things frustrate me more than parents who give their screaming kids an ipad, but I think "emotionally neglectful for 20 years and then wondering why their kid isn't thriving/adjusting to adulthood well, so they try to make up for it by being an overbearing helicopter parent" might take the cake.

[suddencolds]

~