#might change the design !!! first time doing this

[fickdichistwarum]

Something you find in almost every ancient city is communal kitchen/eateries. Pompeii and Herculaneum are full of them, and any given older city likely is too. From izakaya in Tokyo to trattorie in Rome to diners in New York, communal food preperation has always been a normal thing wherever people live closely enough together. In large part because it's usually significantly cheaper to make food at scale. Even rural people often engaged in a rough equivalent, because most households were historically intergenerational and quite large, so somebody could be designated as Food Maker (most often, but not always, Grandma).

The idea that you should have to go out and work full time and then come home and make proper meals for yourself and any dependents without any help is a very modern one. Prior to women reentering the workforce in large numbers in the 60s-80s*, most middle class households (the ones that would be living in the new, atomised suburbs where community eateries were no longer available) had one parent in the nuclear family (almost always the woman) staying at home and cooking/cleaning/childrearing full time. Prior to that, the sorts of professionals that could afford to live in the late-Victorian-1940s suburbs usually had servants (in many parts of the world middle class people still do).

Most homes in dense urban areas didn't have kitchens because they were a serious fire risk and nobody had time to use them anyway. You might have some basic equipment to heat simple meals for breakfast or whatever or to boil some water, but more than that was a luxury. The fact that it's now standard to have a full kitchen in apartments is a sign of the general affluence of society, much like having bathrooms**.

*rough timeframe for Australia and simillar countries. Other societies would see women reenter sooner or later, or have never left in the first place. The 50s-60s single income working-middle class household was a phenomenon that arose from some very specific socioeconomic conditions that are unlikely to recurr.

**again, historically unusual, especially in urban areas. Private bathing was a luxury well into the 20th Century even in wealthy countries. Prior to this, urban areas usually had public baths, and most households in the West had a tub that they'd use, usually near the fire, when they needed to, and washbasins and cloths to wipe themselves down more often, and linen undergarments to catch the dirt and sweat that could be changed frequently, but regular full-body bathing was a rare thing, because getting that much clean - usually heated - water was a pain. Building plumbing into multistory buildings was a whole other magnitude of nuisance.

Something I need to be reminded of often. Yes, I'm very lazy and also have executive problems up the wazoo (the difference? laziness is fun), but the cultural expectation of being productive every waking moment isn't healthy either. And the business of feeding ourselves is especially fraught these days.

[16wolke11]

Paddock Bunny [1] - LN4

A/N First part of the "Paddock-Bunny" Series. A bit of her backstory and how it all started.

WORDS: 4598

WARNING: NSFW (oral (male and female receiving) / protected sex)

_____

Stepping into the world of Formula 1 was never the plan I had for my future. Sure, as a young girl, I dreamed of getting into one of the teams as a mechanic, but growing up, I realised that this might not be one of the most realistic dreams I could have. Nevertheless, I worked hard, did everything to become a mechanic, learned at the local karting tracks and somehow stumbled into one of the junior categories, which opened up the door to the racing world for me. At first, it was more of being an intern, doing the work nobody liked to do, but at the same time, I could watch and learn. The boys from Prema became my family on and off track and so I climbed the ladder until I was a permanent member of the F2 crew. I can't deny that it is a stressful job, but it is exactly what I wanted.

At that point, I was happy, didn't think it could get any better, but then I got the offer from Mercedes. I thought someone in the team was joking with me at first, but then I was approached at one of the race weekends and was asked if I would like to see my potential working space. Of course, I accepted the offer and from then on, I was at the top, working with one of the best teams and where I wanted to be when I was a child. But instead of being a valuable member of the team, I needed to find my spot, was designated to simple work until I could prove myself, which is rather difficult when you aren't allowed to do anything.

During this time, I bonded with George, don't even know anymore how that happened, but he pulled me into his friend circle, and I got to know some of the drivers. And from that moment on, I was invited to their after-race weekend parties and other activities more often, making me feel fully welcomed in the world of F1.

Today is nothing different from the last season and currently it is the party of the season opener. The first time the boys showed off their real speed for the season

"What am I going to get for my first win?" Lando suddenly asks me, head slightly tilting to the side, before he takes a sip from his drink, eyes still firmly on me. That's a sudden change of the conversation and I lift one of my eyebrows before answering him.

"Probably a lot of money." I am sure he will get a bonus from the team and maybe even from the sponsors for securing his first win. He probably even gets a bonus for every podium, but the first win will be celebrated in a special way.

Lando clicks his tongue, before shaking his head and then he adds something to his question.

"No, from you."

I frown. why should I get something for his first win? He isn't even driving for the team I am working for. The only ones that would be getting gifts from me are the Mercedes boys, but even they don't get anything. "Why do you think you get something from me?" I ask Lando, because he certainly thought about this before.

"Because it is a special occasion." He states, takes another sip of his drink and I squint my eyes at him.

"More special than your birthday?" I ask back, because I never gifted him anything for his birthday before. A day people tend to see as a special one, but it seems like Lando thinks that there are better days than the day he was born on. He nods fondly but quickly stops and needs to hold himself up on the wall. Seems like that had made him dizzy. A soft smile appears on my lips, and I am almost sure he will be either embarrassed about this conversation by tomorrow or forget it completely.

"Can I wish for something?" Lando then asks and I don't think much of it when I give him the permission.

"Go for it."

Lando hesitates and I almost think he needs to decide on a wish first, that he didn't, though I would allow him one, but then he leans closer, voice barely above a whisper. "One night with you." My heart stops and I almost hope I heard him wrong over the bass of the music, even though deep down I know that this is exactly what he asked for.

"Lando..." I Mutter knowing he wanted this for so long. There were no feelings between us, besides just attraction, no butterflies, no feelings and nothing that should be exclusive. We both have been in a relationship since we met, but every time we are both single, Lando shoots his shot for a hook up.

I declined every single time.

"Please?" Lando looks at me and gives me the perfect puppy eyes only he can make, and I feel my walls crumble. Usually I would say no, telling him I can't just hook up with a driver, and especially not one from a rival team, but maybe a little bit of fun wouldn't hurt anyone? I take a deep breath, making a decision, but I add a condition.

"Fine, if you get your first win in the next five races, you get me as a price." I tell Lando and his eyes light up. It's a hard limit I set for him, but Lando was fast late season, he might manage to get his win and if not, no harm is done.

"Deal." He holds out his hand for me to shake and we seal the deal with it, before continuing the party as if nothing happened.

In the next races, Lando is close to getting his first win, but even though he is on the podium, the top step isn't reserved for him yet. Race-Weekend number six comes up, Miami is Lando's last chance to fulfil his half of the deal, not that I'm keeping track of that. But in his last attempt, he managed to get the first-place trophy.

"Lando Norris crosses the line and claims his first ever victory in Formula 1." Cheers erupt all over the track and I can't hold back a soft smile. Looks like he finally did it. I am proud of him and want to go over to Lewis' car to put the coolers on, until one thought comes to my mind.

The deal we have...Tonight was the sixth race of the season, meaning that Lando managed to take his maiden victory on the last opportunity for him to claim me as a prize.

"This is going to be a long night." I sigh, before finally stepping to Lewis' car, eyes on the podium sitters, while working on it. It does take me a while before I can even try to search for Lando and congratulate him, but after what feels like hours, I finally meet him.

"Congrats, race winner!" I hug Lando tightly and he even lifts me in the air, before setting me down on the ground again.

"Thank you!" He grins, but has no time to continue chatting, because he is called over by his press officer.

"Come to party with us tonight?" Lando asks me, while already walking backwards to his PR.

"Sure." I accept and already know he is going to get so wasted tonight. But who would judge him? He waited long enough for this win with countless P2 and nearly there situations.

"You made it!" Lando grins, flinging his arm around my shoulders to pull me into a hug. He smells like alcohol, what could still be the champagne sticking to his curls, or the one he is consuming.

"Of course I did." I say, it is rare that I don't make it to a party I was invited to. Only if it was a tough day, I am not feeling well or have to catch an early flight back home.

"Don't drink too much, I want you to last tonight." I whisper into Lando's ear when he takes another sip from his drink, and he tenses up.

"What?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed, like he has no idea what I am talking about and my heart sinks. Has he forgotten the deal we made?

"Your gift?" I remind him and suddenly there is a wide grin on Lando's lips. Looks like he didn't forget what we decided during the party after the first race of the season.

"You still remember?" He asks, tilting his head, a cheeky smile on his lips. I wasn't drunk that night, so there was rarely a chance that I was going to forget our deal.

"Of course, we made a deal." I tell him, and suddenly Lando doesn't look so cheerful anymore. He steps closer and drops his voice, not like anyone could hear us anyway.

"And you still want that?" Lando asks, trying to figure out if I am just here because we made that deal or if I am here because I really want it. It sweet that he seeks consent, and I am sure that I made the right choice by giving him what he wishes for.

"I wouldn't be here if not." I say honest and Lando gulps at my words.

"Fuck." He mutters, wants to say something else, but then someone calls his name. Lando apologizes and disappears, but I can't be mad at him. He just won his first race, of course, everyone wants to party with him.

I don't see Lando for at least an hour, spending time with other people in the meantime, only sipping on a drink or two to stay sober enough. Hopefully, Lando will do the same, because I don't want to share the night with an intoxicated Lando. That's probably not what he wants either. When I meet Lando again, the smell of liquor on him is strong, but he doesn't seem to be drunk. Maybe he drank a water or two between his drinks to sober up a bit.

"Do you want to kiss as bad as I do?" Lando suddenly speaks up, arm wrapped around my waist, fingers drawing circles on my skin after he slipped them under my shirt. I chuckle softly, not feeling the immediate urge to kiss Lando in public, but I can't deny that he looks hot. Curl tamed by a backwards cap, body covered by a tight shirt, leaving little to my imagination, but still, we are in public.

"We can leave if you want?" I offer Lando and his eyes light up.

"Yes please." He says, ditching his glass on the next table, before leading me out of the club. We don't say goodbye to anyone, not that it would be their business that we are leaving together. And most of them are probably too drunk to notice either that we aren't there anymore.

We make our way to Lando's hotel, keeping the touches to a limit until we reach the closed doors of his room. I look at Lando, see his eyes flicker to my lips and before he can move, I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. Lips crashing down on each other, bodies melting to get as close as possible and hands start to wander.

I whimper softly when his hands knead my ass, and I try to get even closer to him. Hands wandering over his back, dipping under his shirt, feeling the muscles move under my fingertips. Lando lets his lips wander, trails them down my neck to nip on the skin, making me lull my head to the side. My fingers dig into his skin when he sinks his teeth into the skin over my pulse to softly suck a small mark into the skin. I can feel Lando's fingers grab the hem of my shirt, but then he pulls his head back, looking into my eyes.

"I need you to give me consent, okay?" Lando asks me and a soft smile comes onto my lips. This is really cute of him. I give him a nod, but Lando shakes his head, not accepting this as an answer.

"Words, I need to hear you say it." He tells me and I need to gulp before answering.

"I want it." This is the truth, no matter how much Lando wanted this, I also want to share the night with him, feel his body on mine and experience the lust with him.

"Good." Lando mutters, connecting our lips for a short kiss, before he pulls my shirt over my head. I don't wait long to tug on his shirt as well, fingers roaming over the warm skin, sending shivers down his spine. Without waiting for Lando, I wiggle out of my jeans, before I take a step back, feeling Lando's eyes linger on my body, especially being focused on my underwear.

"Do you like it?" I ask him, twirl around before I look at him again. The papaya coloured lace covers my breast, panties barely existing, but matching in the same colour. "Got them just for you." I tell him, which is the truth. After the deal, I went shopping for a pretty set of lingerie and when my eyes caught sight of this colour, I had to get them.

"You are going to be the death of me." Lando groans, tipping his head back for a moment, before stepping close to me again. Fingers hovering over my skin, barely touching it, sending shivers down my spine. As much as I want him to rail me, put his fingers, tongue and cock into me, this night is about him. About his race, about his pleasure, about a reward for him being the best on track.

"Sit down." I instruct Lando, pointing to the bed and he listens. Walks the few steps to the bed, before sitting down on the edge, waiting for me to come over. Standing in front of him, I tangle my hands into his hair, kiss his lips, once, twice, before pulling back again. Lando places his hands on my hips, trying to get me onto his lap, but I resist his grip, tipping my head beside his ear to whisper into it.

"You won the race, you get all the attention."

Then I drop to my knees, looking up at Lando, whose eyes just got darker, pupils so dilated that they almost seem black. Fingers opening up his trousers and Lando lifts his hips to help me pull them down. He is fully hard by now, tip already leaking and I lick over my lower lip, before taking his length into my hand.

His skin is warm under my fingers, and I make sure to keep looking at Lando's face, trying to figure out which movements he likes the most. Teasing the tip with my fingers makes his head fall back and a low groan escapes his lips. His fingers are tangled into the bedsheet under him and when he bucks his hips up for the first time, I take my hand off him.

Lando whines softly, hand searching for me to get me back in contact and I let him lead my head to his cock. Opening up my mouth to take him, sinking his length into my mouth and being held in place for a moment by Lando's grip in my hair.

Then he softens his pressure a bit and I can move freely, bobbing my head up and down, creating a rhythm while listening to Lando's quickening breathing pattern. My hands are placed on his thighs to hold me steady while I do my best to give Lando as much pleasure as I can. Tongue swirling around his tip, before softly sucking at it makes him groan and moan, hips bucking up to my mouth, grip in my hair is getting tighter and then the first words of praise leave his lips.

"Just like that." Lando tells me and I moan around his cock, sending a shockwave of pleasure through his body. He pushes me down on his length, tip nudging my throat and I dig my fingernails into his thighs, making him groan even louder. I continue bobbing my head up and down when Lando softens his grip again, but when I bring my tongue back to his tip, he pulls my abruptly off his cock.

"Stop, stop." He paints, fingers tangled in my hair, keeping my head up. I lick over my lips, still tasting the salty precum on them, before I look up to Lando.

"If you keep going, I am going to come," Lando mutters, hands pulling out of my hair, before letting his thumb brush over my cheek. I tilt my head slightly to the side, not seeing the problem in sucking him off until he comes into my mouth.

"We have all night." I tell him that there is no rush, that he can come as often as he would like to and that we don't have to stop after the first time. Having nowhere to be until the plane takes off the next day. No matter whether I can walk or not.

"But I am not patient." Lando tells me and before I can even blink, he takes me under the arms and throws me onto the bed. I just blink, not even having time to really react when his lips come crashing down on mine. Moaning into his mouth, I curl my body into his, trying to get most of his touch. I wrap one of my legs around his hips, pushing him down between my legs, feeling his cock brush against my already wet panties.

Lando's hands wander behind my back, opening the bra with ease, before flicking it off my body. His lips leave mine and trail over my skin. Visiting the mark on my neck again, before he wanders lower. Meeting my collarbone, grazing his teeth over the thin skin and then dipping lower again. Hands slotted beside my body to keep himself up, when his lips come in contact with my breast.

A soft moan leaves my lips when his tongue meets the soft pearl of my nipple, swirling around it, before he gives it a soft suck with his lips. I arch my body to get even more out of his touch, fingers gripping his curls to keep his mouth on my breast, only to whimper when he scratches them carefully with his teeth. Grinding my hips upwards desperately, I search for more of this pleasure and Lando groans softly against my skin.

With a soft pop, he lets go of my breast, lips wandering south again. Tongue dipping into my belly button, until he is at the hem of the papaya coloured panties. He bites into the lace to pull it down my body, only using his hands when he gets stuck, before he sits up on the bed. Lando takes my ankles in his hands to prop my legs up, opening me up for him. His fingers dip between my folds just once, before a sigh leaves his lips.

"You're so wet." Lando mutters, eyes locking with mine when he licks his fingers, only to groan softly. My eyes widen at the sigh, not knowing that something simple could look so hot. Just when Lando takes the base of his cock and wants to lead himself to my entrance I come to my sense again.

"Condom?" I ask him and Lando arches an eyebrow like he is asking if I really asked this question right now.

"Really?"

"Yep." I nod, ready to end all of this just because he isn't willing to wrap himself in a condom. Even though I am on birth control, I don't want to risk anything regarding the fact that I don't know if he is clean.

"Fiiiine." Lando whines, but waddles to his luggage to get one out of it. He takes his place between my legs again, rolling the condom down his length, before looking back at me again.

"Still okay with this?" He asks, fingers trailing over my tight and I really like that he still asks for consent even though we are so deep into it by now.

"Now I am." I tell him, because him wearing protection is the last thing I need to be okay with this thing.

"Good." Lando grins, dips down to kiss me, before bringing himself into position. Fingers curled around the base of his cock to guide it between my folds. Nudging it against my clit, makes me whimper, before Lando pushes in with one smooth movement of his hips.

"Fuck Lando!" I moan, clenching around him without being able to stop myself while my body tries to adjust to the feeling. It feels like a pleasant stretch, it doesn't hurt, but I do feel the fact that I haven't gotten laid in a while. Lando plants his elbows beside my head, body covering mine, while he glides even deeper.

"Say it again." He commands, referring to me moaning his name. My finger digs into his back and I am only able to whimper when his hips snap into mine. He almost pulls them back completely, before shoving his length back in again. I am still adjusting to his size while the pleasure is already taking over my body.

"Lando." I whimper his name again, making him groan and bottom me out again. Wrapping my legs around his hips, I try to change the angle of his thrust, trying to make it easier for me to take, but he only slides in deeper.

"Again." Lando pants, picking up the pace. Not taking long and deep thrusts, but rather quick, sharp snaps of his hip, making his tip nudge my G-spot over and over again. I can feel the burning feeling of pleasure in my lower abdomen, but it is building up way too quickly.

"Fuck, slower." I whine against Lando's skin, teeth digging into his shoulder to muffle my sounds. His skin tastes salty under my tongue and I throw my head back when he is hitting his target over and over again. I clench around Lando, making him groan, before burying his head in my neck.

"You feel so good." He whispers, keeps thrusting, making the bed thump against the wall with every sharp snap of his hips. My whimpers get high-pitched, and I know that I am close, body arching into Lando's and I am ready to let go, let him use me over and over again, when Lando suddenly pulls out.

"No, Lando." I can feel the tears prickle in my eyes, and I try to reach for him, but he is shuffling back on the bed. "Shhh." Lando hushes me, before dipping his head between my thighs. Hands holding them apart while his tongue parts my folds.

"Oh god." I cry out and tilt my hips upwards to meet his tongue, fingers getting tangled in his hair to keep him close. Lando chuckles against my skin, sending vibrations through my clit, making me want to close my tights around his head, but Lando keeps them firmly open.

He draws shapes with his tongue on my clit, sucking the most sensitive part of my body between his lips only to make me whimper and moan his name over and over again. I clench around nothing but air, slick dripping out of me, staining the bedsheets while Lando keeps lapping over my clit.

"I'm..." I just manage to whimper, before a strangled moan leaves my lips, hips bucking upwards to keep close to Lando's mouth when the orgasm crashes down on me. My thighs shake under his hands and finally, Lando allows me to close them while he breathes soft kisses onto my lower abdomen. I try to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm my body down, but it is barely working. Keeping my eyes closed while Lando keeps peppering kisses onto my body, wandering up, until he reaches my lips.

"Can I continue?" He asks me and I manage to open my eyes, seeing the desperate look in his and I nod, letting him help me sit up. My thighs feel damp, but I don't care; this is something I can fix later, when we are finished.

"Yes, but be careful." I ask him to and Lando smiles softly at me. He helps me into a different position, on my hands and knees and even though my legs are shaking slightly, I manage to stay like that. Lando nudges my legs apart, before bringing his cock back between my thighs.

"Shit." I whimper when he pushes in, still sensitive from that high, but Lando is careful as I asked him to. Staying still until the clenching has calmed down a bit, before he slowly starts moving his hips. His thrust is slow and deep, exactly what I need right now. My fingers dig into the duvet under me and my body moves on its own, meeting Lando's thrust with eager movements like it is not totally exhausted.

"That's it, love." Lando praises me softly, fingers holding onto my hips, while he keeps his pace. Pulling his hips back, tip staying inside of me, before pushing back in until his cock is fully buried inside of me. From time to time, he lets his tip slip out as well, nudging it against my clit, sending shivers down my spine, before gliding back into me.

"You're so tight around me." Lando huffs, grip around my hips tightening and then he does pick up his pace a little bit. I wince at the stimulation and need to drop my upper body to the mattress before my arms give in. Changing the angle, making Lando's length slide against my g-spot again and I tighten up even more for him. His groaning and I am sure his fingers will leave marks on my skin by how hard he presses them into my skin.

I can feel him throb inside of me, and just when I think he can't do anything else to heighten my pleasure, his fingers dip between my legs. Finding my throbbing clit easily to roll it between his fingertips, makes me scream out his name again and with a mix of profanities on his lips Lando spills into the condom, riding out his high while I clench my second orgasm around him.

My body shivers when he pulls out and I need to suppress a little whine. Maybe going all night was a strong take from me at the beginning of this round. I feel tired, but I let Lando turn me around and then clean my tights. It would probably be better to shower; we both are covered in sweat, but right now, neither of us wants to move.

"Are you okay?" Lando asks, fingers trailing over my side.

"Hm, tired." I tell him, eyes already fluttering close.

"You can sleep here if you want to." He offers me and I didn't plan to do anything else but that.

"Will do."

Just when I want to try to fall asleep, one last thought comes to my mind. „Lando?"

"Yes?" He hums and I lift my head to look at him.

"Just don't tell anyone about this, I don't need everyone to know we fucked." That wouldn't be ideal if any of the bosses figured out that I slept with one of the rival drivers.

"Okay."

[sadlynotthevoid]

Dreamed about OgCale and Rok Soo being roommates besties in a modern fantasy Earth AU—

Except the whole dream was OgCale swinging and humming in the kitchen, preparing a dessert as breakfast. Then he opened Rok Soo's door and threw a pillow at him, saying "WAKE UP, BITCH. THERE'S BREAKFAST"

Then the two of them had a quiet "Rok Soo's birthday" breakfast and fed a cat while recalling how they met.

Apparently Rok Soo was sitting in a bank outside a house/apartment complex? And OgCale came and told him no one sits there because the woman living in the store above likes to water her plants too much. Cue Rok Soo getting a whole bucket of water rain over him. OgCale then got him to come over to his apartment, which was nearby, to get him dry. I don't remember what he said exactly but we know the real reason is he's kind when he doesn't have to put an act.

Anyways, Rok Soo ended up staying for the night. Later they became roommates because OgCale's cat kinda adopted him, so OgCale decided he was fine. OgCale jokes about that a lot. So does Rok Soo, just most people don't notice he's joking. He calls the cat "Milky-nim".

[annleckie]

I read Ancillary Justice ages ago, and while I loved it, I couldn't buy the rest of the series at the time. Today, I went to the book store for Independent Book Store day and bought Ancillary Sword, but the cover art is completely different. Now, my books don't match. :( I realize this is a really petty complaint, but I liked the old art, the one you have as your banner image. Why'd you change it? Not trying to be accusatory, just confused. Thank you for writing an awesome book, I'm excited for book two <3

Hi!

First of all, I'm so glad you went book shopping on Independent Book Store Day!

Second--I didn't actually change the art, my publisher did. From what I understand, they wanted to position the books as "modern classics" and "giant spaceships" doesn't say "classic" except to us sci-fi nerds. And you might wonder who else would buy my books, but the publisher is all about selling as many copies as possible. Which I can't really fault them for, since I have to feed myself somehow.

There are probably other reasons, too--I don't doubt that a painting by John Harris is way more expensive than an in-house graphic design, for instance.

Anyway. I'm sorry your books don't match, I completely understand that small, persistent annoyance and I sympathize. I do hope that you enjoy Ancillary Sword, though!

[mentioned-rat-bastard]

art by @toy-dragon and @coffeewolfart Smokey is informed by a lot of things, notably the commentary on disability in Eureka, Harrier Du Bois, Travis Touchdown, and my dad, and also my second dad, and also several other men I've met. Perhaps consequently a few sessions into his first adventure the other players told me Smokey was just such a real guy. That they feel they'd met people like him before, but that he was the kind of person its strange to see anyone decide to make for a game. A brash paternalistic maladjusted ne'er-do-well that doesn't seem to have a heart of gold to uncover. They were also, I can only hope, at least somewhat wrong about having met a Smokey before.

All the answers in his cigarette box 👇

The man was designed to be a puzzle. An eclectic mix of ticks, habits, red herrings and lies. I did not draw from exact monster tells to have him mimic other than extra teeth and an aversion to mirrors. He's mostly just off in his own way and that worked regardless. It has posited at different times that he is a vampire, wolfman, fairy, thing from beyond, changeling, my homebrew dullahan, and the mothman, which isn't even a thing in Eureka. The truth is Smokey is a kind of monster, but his monster "rules" look like this

In the literal sense Smokey is a meth addict, hit man, and serial abuser in his late 50s. He's also a divorced dad with 3 daughters, each from different women scattered across the US. He's had many jobs, but most of his work has been criminal, and much of that violent. Between the drugs, shootings, accidents, and often related self destructive behavior it's a miracle he's alive at all. Indeed, he's a miracle, just like ma always said. That means seeing a lot of people come and go.

Smokey is also a lie, and not just because his legal name is Mitchell Cooper. He's a mask that may have nothing under it. I'd call it Schroedinger's Dysphoria, the thing under the skin is alive and dead at the same time. Of course, he doesn't really comprehend that. He runs from it, runs from everything, and this is where escapism and self destruction marry in the violent chorus of Smokey's life. He escapes through work. He loves being good at fulfilling work, even if it's murder. He escapes through drugs. That's much more straightforward. Its a slow motion car crash lovingly depicted in a torrential vomit of backstory that you'll only ever see snippets of, because if I wrote it all down and you found your investigator in a game with him you'd know when he's making shit up.

And I should say, he's not just the worst guy ever. That would be pretty one note. He has hobbies, wisdom, and humor. One of my favorite moments was his discussion with another investigator about ghibli movies and the matrix. These things often play into his themes too.

"Turns out our dystopian future has none of the cool shit. Taking a red pill doesn't lead you to bending spoons with your mind, just suffering without the painkiller of ignorance."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, knowing things doesn't always let you change them."

But about monster. Its a strong word, but Smokey is specifically close to being a monster in the Eureka context. He only misses the mark by a few game mechanics and lack of paranormal traits, unless you consider his repeated unlikely survival a literal miracle. He might, when he's feeling particularly down. The thought occurred to me, reading the monster rules and disability allegories, what if I just cut out the middleman? Smokey has one of the most stigmatized and least sympathized disabilities in the world. He's an addict. He's more keen to hide this than even being a murderer, and its broken more of his relationships than the murders too. Dysphoria is also hardly understood much less sympathized with especially among the circles Smokey is in. He can't just not eat. He can't just say no to drugs. He squeezes days of escape from the years of life and hours of money his victims give him. These wounds cannot heal completely, and its an impossible argument to make that even if they came close Smokey could ever give back more than he's taken. An argument that wouldn't much help the bastard anyways. Putting moral weight on the exchange of productivity is part of the problem in the first place. Its among many reasons why every institution has failed him, and every individual has given up on him. I think you would too.

"When I want to kill myself, I do meth, then I don't want to anymore. I might get myself killed, but that's different."

Eureka currently has no specific rules for depicting addiction, but I actually prefer that to almost any rules I've seen on the topic. Addiction is different depending on the substance and the person, so rules that miss the mark are often constraining at best. But with Eureka I did find tools in the box in its philosophy and its Tiers of Fear system. Withdrawals is on Smokey's Tiers of Fear. When it comes to his attitude on and off meth, and other substances, that's just for me to play out. As few judgement calls for the Narrator to make as possible is policy.

Interestingly for Eureka, one of the possible symptoms of methamphetamine withdrawal is Psychosis, and that leaves Smokey liable to blame paranormal phenomena on his own mind. It still prompts a composure roll, its just Withdrawals rather than Monster or Magic, which is actually more frightening for Smokey. Monsters? Magic? "So life finally starts to get interesting. Like I'm in a goddamn movie!" Psychosis? "Not supposed keep happening this far out... God fucking damn it." Relating himself to a movie character you might get a sense of his most common terrible reason for going on any given adventure.

Even revealing all of this, there are many many things that texture Smokey's character. These broad strokes didn't get far into how he conceives of the world around him, the little ways his lies manifest, what those ticks and red herrings are, or the stats and traits of his actual character sheet. Part of that is to keep this from being overly long, but also, y'know, there are people playing Eureka out there. Maybe if you join the book club or A.N.I.M.'s patreon server you'll end up putting an investigator in an adventure with Smokey. Who knows.

art by @coffeewolfart and me in that order

if you've got Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy characters, we want to hear about them.

[supremefloof]

YOU....

e-soul, what's his deal? spoilers for ep.4 and 5 trailer - big analysis post. ~1300 words

so, the slight difference in colors DOES matter. I thought they were just like, time-related or maybe changed based on if powers were being used, but no. interestingly we have seen both these designs in 3d/canon - the gray one in the trailers and the blue/yellow one in episode 3.

i think it's safe to say that at least in some way, Blue and Gray are two different entities, but a ton of other Crazy Director Li Bullshit is totally possible alongside this.

he's got some kind of themes with duality. yk, just maybe. easiest answer is that "oh he's got an evil half" but that seems too straightforwards? i find it really interesting that in ep.3, his "nemesis" that firm man kills on accident looks like him! presumably on purpose for some aesthetic reason.

Section 1: the random guy from the trailer!

off the new episode preview, it seems like the pov we follow is gonna be some guy who also becomes e-soul, somewhat similar to nice. most likely, he becomes Blue E-soul.

in episode 3, Firm Man is called to help out E-soul who is listed with "mighty glory" despite him being with Treeman. so organizations do work together to some extent? put a pin in this!

he looks like such a loser... and notably he has all his limbs intact whereas gray e-soul has fake arm(s?).

we get a good bit of his backstory:

Gray E-soul probably saved him - while being incredibly sus and murdery.

so, no way to know if this guy even LIKES e-soul. he either idolizes him or he's traumatized.

i mean. he does follow his example, so maybe he got inspired, but im getting ahead of myself

He's got a friendship with some little kid who looks like Lin Ling! they could be brothers - maybe this is the answer to what happened to Lin Ling's family after he faked his death? this would also affect L0 in hindsight because he's not just a "normal guy". this could also just be some other kid.

Section 2: OG E-soul

straight-up, Gray E-Soul is probably old. hella old. maybe even pre-commission, whatever the "commission" is. he's described as a "hero of legend".

Gray E-soul seems morally gray as well, seen by how he's totally killing those guys in front of a child. which, TOTALLY made me instantly think: what if Gray E-soul isn't even an actual hero (unlikely) but instead just Blue E-soul's inspiration. OR vice-versa. maybe his methods are really brutal/controversial. maybe he's retiring.

something related to this might be the cause of this line:

E-soul also has associations with the cross! i'm not religious and I don't know what that symbolizes, but it did set off analysis alarm bells.

ALSO. this could be interpreted heavily as a cross, but i see it more as a four-point star thingy. which idk what that could mean on it's own, except i dont have to because

X is already associated with this! and also, associated with THIS GUY, who e-soul fights in the pv!

Section 3: Zero + Singularity Theory

I'll call him Zero because that's the only name we got. it's possible "gray e-soul" is actually Zero and blue e-soul is e-soul but... idk doubt it. this guy has a ton of religious imagery. loads. they seem to be like... black hole related?

Zero seems to have this false savior kind of vibe in their creepy human form. in general, they seem a lot more large-scale + cosmic than anyone we've seen so far (except X, maybe?)

the first concept I thought of was the technological singularity.

wikipedia blurb that explains everything actually:

"The technological singularity—or simply the singularity[1]—is a hypothetical point in time at which technological growth becomes uncontrollable and irreversible, resulting in unforeseeable consequences for human civilization.[2][3] According to the most popular version of the singularity hypothesis, I. J. Good's intelligence explosion model of 1965, an upgradable intelligent agent could eventually enter a positive feedback loop of successive self-improvement cycles; more intelligent generations would appear more and more rapidly, causing a rapid increase ("explosion") in intelligence which would culminate in a powerful superintelligence, far surpassing all human intelligence.[4]"

this could be relevant because E-soul is literally like. electric and cyborg, but also! A singularity is the thing we theorize to be at the center of a black hole.

the singularity is increasingly talked about especially regarding AI, and the point where AI becomes self-sufficient/aware. This could be really juicy commentary, and personal character angst for og e-soul if he ends up not being totally organic and super duper old.

something something singularity -> technology -> X

The singularity could be good, or bad. paired with E-soul's duality theme, and X's weird 1 frame cutaway with this guy in the opening, well.

X can break the fourth wall. for a character in a story, isn't awareness kind of like the Ultimate Knowledge? ultimate intelligence - like a singularity. whoever holds the title of X gets stronger and stronger every year, with the popularity of Heroes increasing and people constantly getting stronger. I think this is the cycle where X has reached a turning point.

X is also constantly seen on electric billboards and drinking his drinks lmfao. that theory where he's a mascot, omg i can't find it in all the posts but credit to that person @warabito!! it's been living in my head rent free. if X is a created hero that would certainly fit this!! literal singularity.

explosions - Zero, but also the sudden explosion in trust value for X.

Meanwhile, I think Zero is the reason for the commission. X and Zero might be associated because they are narrative foils? @awkwardambivert789 said that X could want to tear down the Hero system. in this way -wanting to destroy heroes- they could be similar! also Zero is eclipse associated and dark, while X is all white

this is total speculation atp, but I think that Gray E-soul could be the reason for the system as we know it in some shape or form. when people say "we're all counting on you, E-soul" in the PV, I think that's a singular, utterly extraordinary instance where E-soul gets insanely powerful for one moment to defeat somebody outside his weight class. He prevents the singularity (using a four-point star thing!!), but is also a shining example that people can point to for the Trust Value system. again total speculation though.

Section 4: Speculation on Blue vs. Gray

I think this is a case where Gray E-soul is alive, but retired. like, maybe this is an instance where people KNOW Blue is Not The Same as Gray. This would explain why a supposed "legend" is not X but instead #9 below a dog with a hat 💀

Okay, I think it's fair to say that Gray E-Soul is a little messed up + in need of therapy. that's why it's SO INSANELY INTERESTING that BLUE E-SOUL KILLS MOON. he saw OG e-soul killing people and said "bet"

DOESN'T TREEMAN HELP U OUT? IS LIN LING OKAY???? WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO HER. AREN'T YOU A GOOD GUY? LOOK, EPISODE 3 HE'S A GOOD BOY

Director Li does this thing where he really, REALLY likes to withhold information and mislead the viewer (very rarely to the detriment of the material, but often just makes it really nail-biting and hooks you to the next episode. Link Click is very similar!). this is where what we know presents LOTS of interesting directions, but no concrete, probable paths.

Maybe E-Soul did it in some part because they know Lin Ling. Maybe this is because the Treeman boss said he'd handle the Moon problem, and sent both a hero to publicly rescue Moon AND a hero to straight up make her Actually Dead since Mighty Glory has been shown to collaborate with Treeman.

The Treeman boss is like. totally part of Spotlight right...? maybe that's how they found Moon, like w/ the power of fear the same way they found Enlighter's reddit cave

maybe if we take E-Soul's PV at face value, then Blue and Gray are enemies! it could be that Gray sees Blue as their personal demon or something like that, seeing how Blue makes Gray's modern armor crack. fear of replacement, or Gray doesn't like the kind of person Blue is?

the theme of replacement could be applied to tbhx as a whole.

All this loss of life + killing and edgy history... somebody ship them with ghostblade i don't make the rules

thanks for coming to my ted talk!

[taesanluv3r]

somethin' stupid

kim leehan x reader

popular boy kim leehan is actually a huge jazz nerd and hangs out with his friends at a karaoke bar. there, he performs an unexpected duet with the quiet girl he recognizes from his art class, yn ln. lowercase intended. pls ignore any grammatical errors/spelling mistakes! enjoy <3

wc: 3,856

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and then i go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like...

the jazzy music coming from the live band seeped in through kim leehan's ears as he enters the bar with his group of friends. he smiles sweetly, waving at the few people that recognized him as he passed by. "well if it isn't my favourite boy! let me guess, you want your usual spot, mister popular?" jiho, the familiar host of the family-friendly bar who acts as an older brother figure for the boy, greeted happily, earning a nod in response.

the group is led to their designated spot - possibly the best spot in the house - only the best for the bar's favourite regulars. see, despite being the most sought after guy in school, leehan prefers to lay low for the most part. he knows what he likes, and he doesn't want to change that just because of his popularity. this jazz bar for instance, is the greatest example of the boy's simple habits.

he had been going there since middle school, when he discovered that he not only loved the genre, but also enjoyed singing along to the tunes. and when his parents overheard his beautiful rendition of frank sinatra's my way from the shower, they took him to this bar for the very first time. that's when he fell in love. he fell in love with the music, with the live acoustics, and of course, with their karaoke sessions. he liked that it was chill over there. the music wasn't bass boosted into his ears, the people that went there weren't rowdy, and best of all, it was an escape from the party-animal type of crowd he was used to being associated with at school. since then, the boy had began hanging out there with his closest friends, earning him a designated table with the best view of the stage.

"and now...the best few hours of your life...it's open karaoke time! now's your chance to show off your talent - get up on stage and let the band know what song to play"

the announcement blaring out of the host's microphone caused a sea of goosebumps to form on the surface of leehan's skin. he always looked forward to karaoke nights, even if he didn't feel like singing some days. he loved watching other people perform just as much as he loved performing himself.

"you singing tonight, bro?" taesan, one of his best friends who sat beside him, asked as he took a sip from his iced americano. the boy shrugged, "don't know yet...i might...we'll see the vibes" he replies, stroking a hand through his blonde hair. "i know i am!" sungho, who sat on one end of the round-ish couch, chimed in, earning a chorus of groans and whines of we know you will's from the other boys.

the group quieted down a bit, enjoying their snacks and drinks as they watched a couple strangers get up on the stage to sing alongside the bar's live band. over time, the place started to fill with more and more people, the indistinct chatter harmonizing with the music.

"so how's it going tonight, guys?" jiho, the host from before, asked as he made his way to the group's table. "good, as always - especially these chicken wings, best addition to the menu ever!" woonhak cheers with half a drumstick still in his mouth. the guys share a laugh, "you're not singing tonight, bro?" the question is directed towards leehan, who was still contemplating on what to do. "can't you force him to? we've been trying to get him to sing all night...but he's being weirdly shy" jaehyun whines, a faux pout evident on his face. jiho chuckles, "c'mon bro! sing one song - who knows, maybe you'll get noticed tonight..." leehan looks at him confused, "like by a record label?" the older guy rolls his eyes, "sure! or maybe...by a girl? i mean c'mon how is mister popular still single?!" the others giggle, watching the way the blonde's ears turned a bright shade of red.

"yeah, we wonder that too...i mean, it's not like he doesn't have a billion girls wanting him..." riwoo says, crossing his arms across his chest as if he were disappointed. "yeah, he literally has so many options and just chooses to be single...like? make it make sense" taesan butts in, scoffing with a smirk. "it's not that i choose to be single. it's just that...the girls who go after me aren't exactly...my type" the so-called mister popular states, pouting out of habit at his pestering group of friends. jiho laughs again, "my point still stands, brother...you're in your zone right now! get on that stage...maybe your type - whoever it may be - is here waiting for you!" his words make the two sides of leehan's brain start to debate.

"whatever you choose though, better hurry while the stage is empty - only a matter of time before someone else is up there singing your favourite songs"

after another minute or so, the blonde boy gets up from his seat, the eyes of his five friends following him as he moves to get onto the stage. they watch as he converses with the band members, probably telling them what song he was planning on singing. he was smiling, laughing at something the drummer said before a look of surprise made it's way to his face. no one could make out what he was saying due to the distance between them and the stage, but judging from the way his mouth moved he said something along the lines of:

"what?! why!? how will i sing(?) then?!"

the boys stared at the stage confused as their mister popular continued to talk with the band. they watched as he began nodding rapidly, giving a quick thumbs up before turning around to face the audience. leehan grabbed the microphone from off of it's stand, clearing his throat once before he started to speak. "hey guys! so um...the song i usually sing is a duet - and i usually sing it with the female singer of this band- shout out to her! but um...she's sick right now and won't be able to sing with me so if anyone out there wants to sing with me please get on the stage...heh" the boy rambles and stutters, suddenly feeling way too seen and way too nervous. "oh! and the song is somethin' stupid...by frank and nancy sinatra...so...if anyone wants to...yeah" his friends almost die from second hand embarrassment, laughing as they watched the usually calm kim leehan start to sweat and shake on the stage.

"this is a once in a lifetime chance to duet with mister popular, guys! don't miss out!" jiho, who had a mic of his own, says with a look of pity - in an attempt to help the poor guy.

the boy gulped as he scanned the room for any sign of a sweet stranger that would save his ego and just sing with him, but to no avail. he sighed, starting to wonder if he should just walk off the stage and go straight home.

"she'll do it!" a loud voice cuts off the silent atmosphere of the bar, causing all eyes to look for it's source. a tall girl with long black hair, she had the biggest smile on her face as she repeatedly pointed towards her friend that sat beside her; a shy looking girl with her hands covering her face in embarrassment. she began to shake her head profusely, waving her hands in front of her face in refusal. the black haired girl put up a strong front though, practically pushing her friend off of the couch and towards the stage. "alright! get up here then!" the host cheered, hyping her up as she shyly walks over, a round of applause filling the room.

by the time she was on the stage, her hands that were covering her face had moved to hold onto the mic. leehan had on a warm and friendly smile, trying to make out what she looked like but having a hard time doing so as she kept facing the ground below them. she looked familiar though, he was sure he'd seen her somewhere before.

"why don't you introduce yourself?" the host asked, trying to build up her confidence before she had to start singing. "um..." her voice was soft, just a decibel above a whisper, and it trembled slightly as she spoke. "my name is..." the blonde boy beside her listened intently, impatient to know who she was. "my name is yn ln" - that was it!

yn! the girl that sat at the very back of his art class at school - she never really spoke, but he knew her from her art. she was the best at it, her paintings and other works always being displayed on their school's art walls.

"well, yn! let's see if you have what it takes to duet with our very own jazz king-" jiho is cut off by an elbow to his gut and a glare of warning from the blonde boy. "ow! anyways, the stage is all yours" the host walks off the elevated floor, nodding at the pair of strangers to signal that it was their turn to entertain the crowd.

"you ready?" leehan asked, smiling softly at the girl who was very evidently nervous. yn nods, "mhm, ready when you are", returning his smile with one that was just as sweet. the boy turns to signal the band.

"ladies and gentlemen...this is somethin' stupid"

the song begins with a soft melody, the live band setting a romantic mood into the atmosphere. leehan and yn share a glance, nodding along to the beat, awaiting their cue. the boy watched as her eyes closed for a moment, her movements fluid as she swayed softly - all signs of her previous nervousness gone as she lost herself to the music. and then they sang.

"i know i stand in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me..." a gasp is heard from somewhere in the audience as they sung, eyes staring at them in awe as their voices blended seamlessly with each others. "and if we go someplace to dance, i know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me..." yn opens her eyes, locking them with his as their smiles seeped into the song. "then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two..." the climax of the verse is about to hit, the pair's legs guiding them unconsciously closer to one another. her eyes shut closed again, lips pressed against the microphone. he stares at her, in a trance he's never experienced before. "and then i go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like, i love you"

they were far too lost in their duet to tell, but as they performed together on stage the rest of the bar started to get hot; their chemistry so warm and electrifying that every other person in the room could feel the sweet, romantic tension that escaped through their opened mouths as they sang. the boy's group of friends locked eyes with the girl's singular friend, signalling her with their eyes to come and join them at their table. she obliged, taking a seat on their couch and continuing to watch the lovely performance happening in front of them.

it's that point in the song right before the end where the band breaks into an instrumental. the guests of the jazz bar watched as the pair began to dance with each other - having seemingly forgotten about the audience. yn's eyes glistened with glee as she took the boy's opened hand, giggling softly as she twirled in circles, landing just about two inches away from him for the final verse. leehan smiled, a genuine one that reached his crescent shaped eyes as he lifted the mic up to his mouth again. his hand still holding onto hers as they gazed deep into each other.

"the time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue..." they harmonized, standing still in their spots. "and then i go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like, i love you" his voice is deep and hers is higher, the perfect combination as they utter the final refrain. "i love you..." they repeated over and over. on the surface, it seemed as though they were just completing a mindless duet. simply mimicking the lyrics to a tune they both loved. deep down though, a strange feeling bubbled up in the depths of their beating hearts - almost as if they meant to say every single word.

"...i love you"

their voices faded out along with the band's instruments, a moment of silence filling the room before it was replaced with a chorus of cheers and applause. the pair had returned from la la land, gasping in shock as they were reminded of the crowd of people in the bar with them. feeling a surge of confidence she had never felt before, yn bowed dramatically to the audience, standing up straight again with a huge grin on her face. leehan did the same, bowing slightly with a look of pure pride.

"ladies and gentlemen, leehan and yn! what a beautiful performance. the chemistry was on point, you two" jiho reenters the stage, sending the pair off with a suggestive wink that they both decided to completely dismiss.

the boy and the girl drowned out the rest of the host's comments as they returned back to the floor below the elevated steps of the stage. leehan faced her with a smile, "you were really good out there...i didn't know you could sing like that - i mean, you're always so shy in school so-" he didn't get to finish, "you've seen me at school?! i mean - duh, i'm not invisible but...i mean, i never thought you of all people would notice me..." yn's words come out of her mouth fast in an attempt to hide the obvious pity in her voice. "what're you talking about?! it's kinda hard not to notice you when your incredible art is pasted all over the walls - i mean, you may not know it but me and the boys are always looking at them and wondering how the hell a human would be able to paint like that! woonhak thinks you might be an alien" his compliments make her cheeks flush, a giggle escaping her lips as she shakes her head. "no, i'm serious! you're incredible - er, i mean...you can paint, and it's no secret that you're smart too...and you're cute, and i mean you can sing too! you really got it all, huh..." leehan's voice quieted down towards the end, his mind suddenly going into deep thinking mode.

yn looked at him confused, "are you okay?" he shakes out of his thoughts, "huh? yeah! um...i should probably head back to my friends..." she nods along with him, "yeah me too- oh!...looks like my friend is over there with your friends now..." the boy furrows his eyebrows, snapping his head around in the direction she was pointing to, a look of disbelief in his face as he spots the group of boys sitting with the one girl. leehan sighs, "what are they up to now..." yn follows behind him closely as he makes his way to the table, his steps are strong and determined - she's clueless and curious.

"oh, lookie here! it's the smashing duet of the century!" jaehyun exclaims, arms up in the air excitedly. "you guys were awesome out there! i'm minju by the way, yn's best friend" the black haired girl speaks, reaching a hand out for the blonde boy to shake. he did so, then cleared his throat to reply. "nice to meet you, and thank you...but what are you doing sitting here, suddenly?" he didn't mean to sound rude or intruding, but the boy was genuinely curious as to how she ended up at the table with his friends. minju smiled, "they invited me over here while you guys were singing!" sungho chimes in after, "yeah, she was all alone so we told her to come sit here" leehan nods understandingly, "oh, that makes sense. could you make some room though guys, my leg's tired from standing up-" the boys don't let him finish.

"oh, sorry bro, i'm gonna stop you there. see, it's kind of tight over here but look! yn and minju's table from before is still empty and there's plenty of space for you two there!" one of them says, a shit-eating grin on his face. if it weren't for the fact that they were in public and he had a pretty cool girl standing beside him right now, leehan would've went ahead and punched that smug smirk right off of taesan's face; but we digress. "you guys go ahead over there, i'm perfectly fine here!" minju grins, just as sneakily as the boys surrounding her. yn rolls her eyes but smiles, "c'mon leehan, they obviously don't want us here and i'm thirsty, let's go" she says as she grabs the blonde boy's arm, dragging him away to their new seat as he flips his friends off in annoyance.

"those idiots..." he said, sticking a french fry into his mouth. the girl beside him laughs, "is it that bad being forced to sit with me?" she was joking, but for some reason the boy thought she meant it for real. "no! no! i...it's not that, i swear! i do like you - i mean, i like sitting with you" he stops talking when she breaks into a fit of laughter, the sound so sweet that it makes his heart skip a beat. "i was joking!...and i like sitting with you too...you're a lot different than i thought" he tilts his head to the side, "what do you mean?"

yn takes in a deep breath, "i don't know...i guess it's just that in school, you have this popular guy reputation and all the girls ever say about you is how hot and sexy you are and how you probably have a billion chicks lining up for you but-" leehan's gaze distracts her for a moment. "but...?" he asks, wanting her to continue. "but you're not like that at all, are you? i mean...you could be at that guy haruto's house party right now, getting shit faced with the rest of the school, but you're not. you're here. you're in a quiet karaoke jazz bar with your friends, listening to music, and singing duets with me - who, in case you weren't aware, is just a shy nobody at school"

there's a sparkle in the boy's eyes, a single tear threatening to trickle down his face. he's in another trance, and it's all her fault. "are...are you crying? was it something i said? i'm sorry, forget i said anything!" she rambles, trying to apologize for whatever reason but he just shakes his head. "no...it's just...you're the first person outside of my closest friends to ever say something like this to me...it's just...thank you" now her eyes held that same glow, her lips quivering to talk but not a single word came out.

the pair froze like that for a while. eyes locked in each other's, faces inches apart, and their heavy breaths matching up. "yn...i know we just truly met, but it feels like we've known each other for ages..." leehan spoke, his voice airy and light. "well, technically speaking we've known each other since middle school-" she doesn't get to speak anymore, interrupted by his three words that took her by surprise.

"i love you"

yn's eyes grow wide, words slurred as they stuttered out of her mouth. "what...?" her reaction was awkward, but for some reason that made the boy happy - a weird kind of giddy sensation engulfing his body like a hug. "i love you" he says again, full of confidence like he didn't have a single care in this world. it's only then when the confession hits her, her body fidgeting in realization. "can you hear me now? in case you didn't, what i said was that-" she nods enthusiastically, "i know, i know! you said, i love you...and...i think i do too" yn mumbles the last bit of her sentence, her head falling down to look at her hands, the ground, just anything but him.

leehan chuckles, his cold hand lightly tapping at her chin, lifting her head up to face him. "did you say something?" he asked, smug and prideful. yn sighs, rolling her eyes before scooching closer to him on the couch. they were just centimeters away now, they could feel each other's breaths grazing against their skin.

"i love you"

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"so what were guys talking about so seriously over there before?" riwoo asks.

the group of boys and the one girl had reunited with the pair, standing together outside the jazz bar. "you know...just some things..." leehan said, turning away and ignoring the annoyingly curious looks on his friends' faces. "and what things might those be?" minju asked, raising an eyebrow at yn who just shrugged the question away.

"hey, do you have a ride home?" the blonde boy asks the girl beside him, still ignoring their pestering friends. she shook her head, "i was just gonna go with minju to her house and get a cab from there, why?" he smiles, "i have a car, why don't i drop you home?" the girl opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted before she can even utter a word.

"hellooooooo! answer my question!" minju practically yells this time, the boys beside her backing her up with nods. "we told you, we talked about a lot of things!" yn replies, throwing her hands up in the air. "anyways, is it really okay for you to drop me home? i live kind of far" the boy nods, "not a problem at all, but we should get going before it gets too late so...when you lot are done staring at us let us know so we can leave!" he targets the end of his sentence to the group that was still looking at them in absolute disbelief.

"we'll stop staring and let you leave when you tell us what you were talking about before!" sungho whines, hands on his hips. "we talked about things! how many times do we have to tell you? let's go, yn...these guys won't budge" - "well, what things?!" woonhak groans, getting impatient, following behind them as the pair began to walk over to the blonde one's car.

kim leehan just laughs, opening the door on the passenger's side and letting yn ln in. "it doesn't matter...it was just..." he pauses, trying to think of something to say. that's when she butts in, putting an end to their friends' torment.

"it was just...somethin' stupid...that's all!"

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

omg! i haven't written something this lengthy in a while ahhh! this scenario came to me while listening to this song in the car the other day hehe <3 i think it's rlly cute and im a sucker for anything jazz bar romance related lols. hope u guys liked it! love, kona.

tags: @saritahwang

[guujikaroko]

I apparently have a few screws loose, so I decided to translate the JP Star Rail anniversary letters! I'll put a translation and then address whatever I find interesting on those:

Himeko

"To my cute junior,

Two years have passed since the Astral Express set sail again, and you've grown into an experienced Nameless, haven't you.

Your inquisitive mind and your choices when faced with lies and truth in the Planet of Festivities, fighting alongside Dan Heng and March-chan, and your courage and strength in solving the Xianzhou crisis gave me great joy and emotion.

There are still a lot of unknowns on the path to Trailblazing, but there's no need to be lost or worried—we're with you. From now on, let's continue to Trailblaze a more brilliant world together!

From your sincere friend, Himeko"

- March's full name in Japanese is 三月なのか (Mitsuki Nanoka). Himeko calls her 三月ちゃん (Mitsuki-chan), which would translate literally as "March-chan";

- Himeko used 友 (tomo) when saying "friend", to give that extra formal flair when writing a letter.

Kafka

"To my dear you,

Hiiiii, today marks two years since the Express took off with you on board, doesn't it.

It's been a while since we contacted each other, but I've always been paying attention to your movements. Enough to imagine your expression as you read this letter at this very moment.

But don't worry, It's not like I'm planning anything. I just think that compared to when you first woke up, you grew up enough to change completely... I'm just really happy to see that change.

Listen. Your journey will become even more wonderful. Don't forget to make your own choices no matter when—if you do that, you'll surely get to the conclusion of the story.

From a person in your memory"

- The "dear" is 親愛なる (shin'ai naru), the Japanese version of using "dear" in a letter opening;

- The "listen" is indeed the same conjugation Kafka uses for her Spirit Words, 聞いて (kiite);

- The word for "story" is 物語 (monogatari). Also can be translated as "tale".

March 7th

"To my dear Tailblazer companion...

...And lifesaver, and cameraman, and classmate~!

When you joined in the jump for the first time... You were lying on the sofa, reaching your hand out to grab something, weren't you. I still remember your face filled with anticipation and anxiety about what you were about to experience.

It's been a long time since that, but did you find the star you were searching for back then?

Two years went by, time reaaally passes so fast!

I really can't remember what life was like on the Express when you weren't here...

But, that's okay in itself! Because now, you're here to have fun together with me! In the coming year, let's make a looooot of sparkling bright memories together too, okay!

Your best partner March 7th"

- the "and" used in the first sentence are 兼 (ken), which is used to designate simultaneous occupations (as in "he's my manager and caretaker");

- "lifesaver" is written as 命の恩人 (inochi no onjin), literally meaning "life benefactor". 恩人/onjin (benefactor) is a relatively common word in Japanese, but it's somewhat tricky to translate properly into English in a more casual context;

- The word 星 (hoshi) literally means "star", but it can also be used for other celestial bodies like planets. In this specific case, March probably means it as a metaphor, so it might actually just mean "star";

- March ends some sentences with もん (-mon), which is considered girly and cutesy.

Firefly

"To the Trailblazer,

It's me, Firefly. It's been a while, have you been well?

Time flies really quickly... To think it's already been two years.

Before, I often wondered what would happen to us if we lived in a world without Aeons and Paths.

We could have met at school and get busy studying for tests, become colleagues and get scolded by our superiors together...

But you know, now I've stopped imagining it. Because what we experienced has made us who we are now.

I'm really glad I met you. Happy two years!

I look forward to the day we meet again."

Dan Heng

"A letter to you,

Congratulations on your second anniversary.

This year too, the path to Trailblazing has been full of danger, hasn't it. You too have faced formidable foes aiming for power and greedy enemies tormenting your heart.

However, what I do won't change. I'll do my best to protect you.

And I hope your mind is at peace and that your journey goes smoothly."

- The "you" in the beginning of the letter is あなた (anata) instead of Dan Heng's usual お前 (omae), for the sake of formality.

Silver Wolf

"Celebratory words to the top player,

Congratulations~! It's already been two years since the release of the game "Trailblaze".

The truth is, I was there when you created your account. The you back then was... Actually, I'll stop. Kafka might get angry if I say this.

I've always been following your progress—so, what I'm trying to say is, if we team up, we could win any match! It was a shame that we were cut off, but... It's a good opportunity, want to give a try?

...Well, a game is just a game after all, no one knows what's going to happen from now on, right."

Welt Yang

"To the Express' youngest,

If I had to choose one word to describe how I feel looking back on this past year... It would probably be "anxiety"... No, maybe "mixed feelings" would be more appropriate.

Every time I heard you were in danger, my guts freezed. But fortunately, you always overcame the crisis and came back.

That's right... I mean, Trailblazing is an accumulation of new adventures. Before I got on the Astral Express, I was always finding danger...

If it's like that even for me, it must be even harder for youngsters like you guys... So, if there's something you want to do, you should be decisive. Become the brightest rising star among the Nameless. Because the Express will always be your poweful backer.

The Uncle Welt who always supports you"

- Welt called the Trailblazer 末っ子 (suekko), which is used to describe the family's youngest child.

Blade

"Trailblazer,

My companions are always paying attention to you. They said that I should give you congratulations for the 2nd anniversary on the Astral Express.

...Congratulations for the two years."

- Blade's word for "companions" (仲間/nakama) is the same Dan Heng uses to address the Express crew.

Sunday

"To the Trailblazer,

I have heard from everyone that today is the memorable day when you set out on your journey with the Astral Express.

I boarded the train later and wasn't able to be there to witness your departure... And I now feel that's a shame.

However, you've been telling me a lot about the time before we met recently, haven't you.

From now on, we will surely face many more challenges together in this sea of stars.

There are many unknowns ahead that are waiting for me to touch, explore, and think about... Perhaps the first seeds of a paradise where all people can be happy have already been sown.

At last, my heartfelt blessings—congratulations on your second anniversary.

From Sunday"

Black Swan

"To Mr./Ms. Sleepyhead,

Did you sleep well last night? Shall I guess if you overslept today... Hehe, it looks like you did, doesn't it. No? Well, wake up. Today is a special day, the Express' anniversary celebration.

I never thought I would travel with the Express. But for me... it will become precious memory.

So if there's anything I can do, let me know, okay.

Once again, happy second anniversary. May you get some special memories.

Black Swan"

[beatleswings]

Autistic Carmen headcanons

Since it’s Autism Acceptance Month, thought I share this. So I headcanon Carmen is autistic but didn't go into much so now, I finally thought up some autistic Carmen headcanons! I might update this if I think up more of them.

Carmen was diagnosed at 18, just around the time she was starting out in her modeling career.

Growing up, as kind and friendly she's always been, Carmen struggled to fit in and connect with her peers. She remembers having to hide some of her behaviors such as easily crying or her interests especially anything deemed "childish" like dolls just so she'd be seen as "cool" and "mature". In hindsight, Carmen realized that she was masking some of her autistic traits to appear more "neurotypical"/accepted. The only friends she had growing up were Valeria (red dress girl from Don's contender slideshow) who she met when she moved to Madrid, making her the first real friend she had and who is her best friend to this day. And later Natalia (orange dress girl) and Yazmín (purple dress girl). Like Carmen, Valeria, Natalia and Yazmín are all neurodivergent; ADHD, dyslexia and AuDHD, respectively.

Carmen has always struggled with changes. When she was 8 years old, she and her family moved from Talavera de la Reina, her birthplace to Madrid, her current hometown and that same year, she started a new school. This still happens when it comes to her routines and schedules.

When she was chosen as a ring girl for the WVBA, Carmen still had a lot to learn and adapt in that environment since it's not much the fashion environment that she's used to and there were times where she would do the same routine she does when she does fashion shows and shoots.

Once she learned she was autistic, she was relieved to have found the answer she needed. Carmen had always known she was different from everyone around her but didn't know why. Prior to being diagnosed, Carmen begin to question if she may be autistic or neurodivergent in general. This was brought up to her by her friend Yazmín and even her modeling agent, who was concerned but was happy for Carmen when she learned of her diagnosis (her modeling agent is very supportive and understanding). 

Carmen's parents were just as glad as she was. They always knew Carmen may have had something and would be concerned despite being told by others that "she's fine, she's just a weird kid" or say something worse, which they did NOT like and they would be quick to defend her. They are sorry for not understanding before or having her checked out before but Carmen understands and knows they are good parents.

Her special interests are fashion especially vintage fashion, makeup, jewelry, flowers (especially roses) and dolls.

Her interest in fashion started from when she would dress up her dolls or switch their outfits. She would later begin making custom outfits for her dolls and for herself, the latter until she was 12. Some of those outfits would inspire the outfits she would design later on in her fashion designing career. Even looking back, Carmen would notice in her childhood photos and in family home movies that she loved dressing up.

She loves going to thrift stores and buying and trying out vintage outfits.

She hyperfixates on anything pink, which is her favorite color and the color she has a very strong affinity for so of course anything she owns is pink. The same with roses, dresses with polka dots (I mean why else did the wear that clownish, see-through dress?) or anything with patterns that are easy on the eyes for her, hairstyles and anything cute like plushies. Oh and when it's close to Valentine's Day? She would be at the Valentine's section at any store because the colors and decorations and even purchase Valentine items for Don and herself.

Carmen often has daydreams, mostly to do with fashion and modeling and whatever her current interest/fixation is. Don also fits her constant daydreams as well.

Due to Carmen's mother being a hairdresser, Carmen would get hair ideas from her for her dolls and later, for herself, which is another example of her hairstyle fixation.

She has her same foods: for breakfast, sweet corn flakes with banana and strawberries and whole milk (and she can tell the difference so it has to be whole).

Her safe foods are anything sweet like chocolate preferably milk chocolate and chocolate with peanut butter, strawberry ice cream (this partly due to her pink fixation), any pastry especially donuts and muffins.

She has foods she prefers and served a certain way; prefers warm mashed potatoes, smooth peanut butter and when she has spaghetti, she likes it served separate instead of mixed.

She dislikes bread with seeds and nuts due to texture. She also dislikes chunky peanut butter and chocolate with nuts for this reason. The same applies to juice with pulp.

She prefers soft, silky, stretchy and loose-fitting clothing. Super tight clothing makes her squirm, sweat profusely and nauseous.

She also prefers wearing soft and comfortable shoes, heels and boots. Also applies with chokers, she prefers loose fitting, soft and lace.

She always cuts off tags because it's sensory hell for her.

She enjoys her modeling and fashion career, in fact, she found solace in it—the textures, colors, and combinations of clothing became a way for her to express emotions and express herself.

Even though she enjoys her modeling and fashion career, Carmen still experiences sensory overload. At fashion shows and as a ring girl at the WVBA, it's due to the flashing lights, blaring music, and the crowded environments. While at first she's okay with it or more like, tries to mask, but after a while, it could become too overwhelming for her.

She also had to mask her discomfort in modeling tight and stiff clothing and certain fabric and seams that caused her sensory issues. Same when she would model turtlenecks. All those issues from her early days of modeling would eventually lead her to get a diagnosis especially when her agent expressed concern.

Carmen is prone to meltdowns not just from being overwhelmed or over sensory stuff but also if she's trying to remember or understand something or when she's annoyed.

Carmen uses noise-canceling headphones when she hears loud noises, to soothe herself and yes, her noise-cancelling headphones are pink!

Carmen also takes quiet breaks which is usually her reading fashion and gardening magazines before she continues with what she has to do or after a day of modeling.

She would start wearing sensory bracelets and fidget rings to be at ease when she's on the catwalk, as a ring girl and just in general. It helps soothe her.

Some of her stims are tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, hair twirling, hand clasping, hand waving and humming. Listening to the same song over and over again is another stim of hers and helps soothe her. She is also prone to getting songs stuck in her head.

Carmen has difficulty interpreting and responding to social cues. She tends to not understand sarcasm unless it’s someone she knows, she laughs at moments that aren't that funny (ex: one person jokes and everyone except her laugh and when that person is just talking, she laughs), and she smirks or smiles when she tries to hold her laugh in when she remembers something funny and when she is infodumping, she tends to forget to notice reactions from people and doesn't see if they're bored, annoyed and uninterested.

Carmen has hyper-empathy; she tends to feel emotional towards and over-attachment to people, places, animals, objects, or things; when she sees the boxers especially Don lose, it hits her hard. Same when she sees a model stumble and while everyone laughs or points, she feels bad for the model. And she can’t watch movies or shows where bad things happen to the characters especially animals.

She was scared to come out as autistic to Don or him finding out that she is. This was out of fear of thinking Don would look at her differently, make fun of her or think she's not pretty for him. She had to deal with that with some people including two exes of hers ("you're too pretty to be autistic", "why do you like childish things" or the tedious "but you don't look autistic"). One day when Carmen was dealing with sensory overload at the WVBA, that's when Don knew she was neurodivergent and he helped calm her down. He also then tells her he is also neurodivergent (ADHD) and he understands what Carmen goes through. Both of them being neurodivergent, bisexual and hopeless romantics who share an interest in makeup, fashion and dancing is what brought them closer.

Carmen still masks especially around new people or in new environments because she knows how neurotypicals can be. With Don, her friends, her family and people she trusts and when she’s alone, she feels at ease to unmask, stim and be herself. And they accept her for who she is.

Carmen would become open about her autism and advocate for autistic/neurodivergent inclusion in fashion. With her fashion design, she designs sensory friendly clothing. Oh and NO tags!

[fantasykiri5]

Guy who is Bonita ‼️

[allimili]

I have a request. ok, this has been pledging my mind for a day, but mermaid/siren shadow milk cookie and human Y/N or the other way around

OH. oh thats something.

[aweebshitdrawings]

So yall remembered those dangling characters designs I did well….i may have sent one design to get made into a keychain and….I actually screamed

LOOK AT HIM!!! HE SO GRUMPY!!!

[amethyst-marshmallow]

eepy sleepy

Text: Elevator starts at 8am / My eepy sleepy ass at 7:99 am😭😴 / Took a nap

so tired

Textless version and meme refrenced under the cut

NOOOO ASTRO WAKE UPPPPP WE NEED YOUUUUU

[empyreansentinel]

balex can hug exactly one (1) person in the universe but she chooses to roughhouse with him instead.

[lukazade]

Duke appeared!

[riiviir]

shockingly I drew something other than COTL today

anyways. ocs