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rainbowgod666 · 9 months ago

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WHY IS HILLARY MECHA FRIEZA

And also my addition to this joke because I Have Things That Somehow Are Not Issues. Like Fr.

So here i present to you...

THE TEN EXTRA CANDIDATES FOR 50/20 (like the fnaf 7 difficulty)

Moot Whiskey DeJohn McMethanphetamine

Hates immigranti with a BURNING passion

Has irish descendancy and denies it

The irish want to cause the gunpowder plot at the white house because of him

Which is totally understandable honestly

Don Don de la Don

Probably spanish

Has a corn addiction. No seriously he loves them darn kernels way too much

From ohio

Possibly involved in a fuckton of scandals. Like lots of them. Holy shit.

"Big Yawn" jackdaniels potato cockandballtorture

Literally all he has done in his campaigns is YAWN CONSTANTLY. Like wtf

Probably old. No one knows

His bald head hides enough shit to make Watergate 2: this time there's also the ATF because they gave us puppy eyes aND YOU CANT SAY NO TO PUPPY EYES

SCP-2317, The Scarlet King (also called "Big Red")

Literally just there

Outside of what little campaigns he had hes basically on the eternal verge of crying

And considering one time the KKK thought it was one of their meetings... yeah. Dude likes his campfires, not his fault people confuse the flames for a kkk cross burning

His (last living) wife is really supportive of him

He is REALLY ADAMANT about concepts of "personal liberties and human rights". So between what his "followers" are like and what the average workplace looks like...

Yeah he has killed before. In front of cameras even- dude is REALLY "no bullshit" on human politics!

And yet hes still anxious about his political career.

Which i mean. Mood.

Mr. Brick

Has made a fortune in bricks

Thinks that oliver twist is stupid because "what good is a human if they arent slaving away for nothing but my gain?"

Possibly a visitor of epstein island

Panama Papers tanked his business so he went to politics as an investment

Doesnt pay taxes. And not in a cool way

Cock DeSnortcoke

Hates the very concept of people under 18. Especially those that arent either working or on epstein island

His chin is only possible because hes the last hapsburg left. Its also a prehensile arm somehow

The crown rejects him

Hamas Amongus DeUranium Penis

A literal archangel that grabbed the first words they could find that made The Youth laugh

Because of american evangelism, he has asked Big Red for help

He should have seen it coming when they got a Super Shotgun From Doom Eternal as a solution

He/They, but just because they said so

Baizhong Gigadong

Claims theyre chinese, the name thats either a homestuck or warrior cats reference makes it hardly believable

What little they post on the internet makes it impossible to understand if theyre trans or a terf

4chan sees... them. As some sort of "gender nuke"

The most female thing in this joke of a list

John "Ironmask" Joaquin

Literal JoJo character

The mask was bolted on his face when they got asked their views on gay people. "Tolerant Right" my ASS.

All his rallies are giant posts where he Actually Tells People His Plan

Which I mean

Thats a first

Þđ'ķþaeær'gh VII

Elder god who forced itself into a human shape

So addicted to weed they cannot hold that shape anyway

"Thothoro" is how he wants to be named anyway

One of the few people on this lost who doesnt hate non americans. Especially the gay and neurodivergent ones!

hey where can i find your election comics. tumblrs search function is unhelpful

Here’s all of them

There’s are obviously several years old and I think mostly not that funny anymore? At least in some parts but here they are anyway. Enjoy

#welcome to the multiverse #geopolitics

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strangerfigs · 2 years ago

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my thoughts on the script... and comparing mike and el's relationship to will and mike's;

i wish we had a name for willelmike love triangle because it would be so much easier but man i have so many thoughts, and i always see people say don’t trash another ship when discussing your ship, and as much as i agree, it’s hard not to do in love triangles seemingly as that is kind of the whole point - contrast

and like i love el/jane, whatever she wants to call herself which i hope the end of the series will be jane but anyway, i digress. my point is, my intention is never, ever against el. in fact, most of the time, she is not the one wrong in her relationship w mike. she has her moments for sure (spying, possessiveness, etc.) but can you rly blame her? no.

anyways, i rly just want to throw that out there because rly mike and el's relationship is so important, but w both of their characters - they rly both seem to indulge in their worst traits while romantically paired together, and it's just tiring to see, tbh. because i love both their characters but they both regress with one another so much, and also hide so much of their true selves. their dynamic is so beautiful in season 1 because i think a lot of it is them actually being themselves around one another, and i think there is an understanding between them, but it's lost in s3 and so on... and even in s2, we don't rly get much of them so ? it's hard to argue it's there

while i'm not fully decided on if mike is gay or bisexual (he is for sure queer, don't even care how st ends - he is), i could see both ways, and in both ways, i think their relationship is important to each other; i do see all the queer gay codes for mike, but i think there are some people in the fandom who don't want to say he is bisexual because then it leads to more confusion about his feelings about el, how he feels about her, and when those feelings faded, but like, it happens. all the time. and it still makes the romance valid, even if the romance started on rocky foundation (it did) and that's part of the reason it falls out. and mike can still be capable of having feelings before eleven or after, as well as feeling repressed and stuff.

i think sometimes, i even myself want to believe he is gay because it just ties things up in a cleaner way, but the thing is, too, is that it is a love triangle, and just like we say about will, for it to be an actual love triangle, mike has to have feelings for them both, which i think he does, but he and eleven's relationship, which is referred many times to star-crossed, is just doomed because of many things, but that doesn't make it non-romantic, unless he is gay, but idk, i feel like ... honestly bisexual is more messy in terms of this love triangle, but it makes more sense when you look at the ways in which they are described and the imagery of the love triangle itself and it's pattern within stranger things in terms of these character's plots

will and el also literally kin each other, so, yeah, i think it makes sense that mike would fall for both of them? but his relationship with will is just stronger; it has a better foundation; its a stronger bond that consists of all that's what is missing in his relationship with el, and it allows for both characters to be themselves without a need for defense; they just love one another for what they are, not what they pretend to be or hide; they see the best in one another! and they are both big nerds, and yeah, the years of friendship (which unfortunately el did not have a chance at w mike) helped, but this is part of the problem too because they could have been friends first but they weren't, and situationally, it just does not work because of how it ended. do i think maybe el and mike could have been not star crossed upon another circumstance or situation? maybe! but do i also think a big part of the circumstance is mike's initial love for will that just feels embedded into their relationship by proxy? yeah

something not stated within mike's monologue to el is in between the lines. when he found her in the woods, he was looking for will. even though mike did want to help her because he is a natural protector for multiple reasons, some being self righteousness (feel you!) but yeah, he wanted to help. mike is literally a knight. he wants to be a white knight to el but she doesn't need that from mike, and i don't rly think that's something that mike could ever accept anyhow because again, their initial relationship begins with him saving her, he likes this dynamic, but after the end of s2, this is when that ends, and we start to see their relationship struggle, and mike is being sincere, is the literal issue that comes up in s4! and i even think that maybe there is some authenticity to this, or i guess, reason for mike to think this - el doesn't even reach out to him for emotional support because of the bullies, which is so odd to think, but - el doesn't want to have to rely on mike. she wants him to see her as strong and happy. she doesn't want him to worry about her. she just wants him to love her. but what does that even mean to her? i don't think she or mike fully understand because their relationship, again, is star-crossed. it just fundamentally does not work, whether it be due to the circumstances, who they are, how they begun, etc. it just doesn't work because they rly seem to not be in sync regarding what they both want from a relationship with one another, and how they view romantic love

whereas with will, he feels like he can open up to mike because he is the only person who doesn't baby him, treat him different, yet he is the one that keeps him going, as though, just by being mike, just by existing as mike and will, mike is literally providing what he WANTS to do with el; he is will's paladin. his knight. his heart. but it's not even about wanting to feel as though he is his /white knight/ or important. it's just about will, and i think that's what lacks with el and mike again. it's more self-based than about el when he says he wants to protect her; he doesn't trust her, he doesn't understand her - both concepts are established between 2 and 3. he wants to feel needed by her, but he is needed by will, but it's not about self fulfillment with will, or himself, it's about will, which is how it should be. when he helps will, or when he messes up with will, he is focused more on will, then himself. this is seen so so so many times. if not, just through mike canonically only calling himself mean names when talking about his behaviors with will. and i have seen many people say 'why does mike only talk about el' throughout s4 with him, which is something i thought too at first, but if you look back - after 4x4, after he says he was worrying too much about el and feels like he lost will - he LITERALLY does not bring up el again to will. it is ALWAYS will who brings her up to mike because he sees him hurting.

and we don't even know for sure if this is what mike is even thinking about because it's not him who ever brings it up. it's will who prompts the discussion; it's will who lays out mike's feelings for el; it's will who establishes the theme and emotions of the conversation, which is LITERALLY displayed in the script:

also this is all i'll say. I know everyone was worried about the 'what are you 12 years old, dude?' comment because i just immediately assumed it was will's reaction to himself, but i do understand that it's under mike, so let's just... for a second say it's mike, well is it really that ooc for him to think this? yes, it's a jerk thing, but mike's defense mechanism is so high in terms of will, and his feelings for will. his immediate reaction is to recoil, to be mean because it braces closer to the truth, but then... let us say, this scene went differently and mike said these words aloud, hurting will. we know he'd regret it, we know he'd apologize, and we know that he'd have to reflect. just enough. to apologize. he would have to think why he would say or think that; he'd recognize it was wrong and mean but also like. yeah. that sounds nice. trust me. being repressed, in denial, and dealing w a lot of internalized homophobia often leads to these /reactions/ even if not said aloud. it's jerking away, mentally because you literally need to recoil with disgust, with - no fuck that - because it opens too many worms if you don't. it is an option, maybe the only option to really keep yourself safe from opening up the can of worms. trust me. i've been there. i've recoiled at gay interactions, almost instinctively because i spent so much time building up that straightness, and it becomes a jerk reaction to be straight, but there is much more to it; you may have been able to rewire your conscious brain but your subconscious knows

anyway. back to the script bit up there^ because i rly was not intending on discussing that for so long^

we again see will thinking that he knows what is going on inside mike's head which is fair because he knows him so well and they understand each other, but this scene, as we saw on screen, and on the script, is the PEAK of misunderstanding between them. it's clear in the "will doesn't understand" and then later "mike doesn't understand" along with will filling in mike's blanks on the situation.

and the way it's written, yeah, as someone who is in the social work field, i agree that mike being worried about losing el due his insecurities, and even not being able to say ily because of that, makes sense in terms of possibilities and practicality regarding attachment styles and relationships. but do i think mike has this attachment style? this fear avoidant attachment style? no, i don't. do i think it's a convenient way to explain his behavior/latch onto? yeah. i think on a red herring scale, it makes enough sense to misguide the audience, and i think on just a human being scale, it makes sense for mike to use that as the excuse. and maybe that's insane of me to psychologically see that YES this is ACTUALLY a possibility and can be explained, but it still does not add up to me personally... but even if i did think this explains everything, previous things i said explain why this is just part of the reason mike and el are star crossed ^

so, yes, maybe this is part of it ^ but i also think that maybe mike is accepting that el does not need him, and in that, realizing that maybe their relationship isn't meant to be, but will doesn't rly get what he is saying, and just wants him to feel better, so he does what he does and gives him what he needs, which literally just so happens to be his exact feelings, and that makes mike feel better which is just crazy. like really let that sit with you. and in a way... really describes this whole love triangle.

mike is STRUGGLING with his ability to say ily to eleven, possibly due to insecurities, fear of abandonment, poor self worth, etc., and will, wanting him to feel better; just saying it to make him feel better, but also completely honest in how he feels about mike, literally just ... makes him feel better, like it's so easy with them, and that's... that's just the thing. it's natural and easy and they are just... exactly what each other need.

and i think in this scene of misunderstanding and miscommunication being the LITERAL only scene where mike's heart is not facing will... this CUSTOM MADE SHIRT... is telling.

and then, you compare this to 4x4, where they are directly discussing their relationship (prompted by mike, and where, yet again, will tries to push the focus on el, but mike corrects it) it is said that, what mike is saying - makes COMPLETE sense to will. they are so aligned in this scene, it's insane, and it's the only scene where the focus is just on them. like do i rly need to say more?

i think mike is struggling with his feelings, and so much more goes into it because of internalized homophobia, but whether he loves el or not, their relationship is doomed, and if he does love el? that's okay. because guess what? he loves will too. like i said, his journey began with will; the best thing he ever did was become will's friend, and he only met el because of will; and mike can maybe love el without his monologue being true; he can think he loves el, but honestly. i don't think he knows what that even means, and i don't think he will know until he GETS what will was saying when he described himself (as el) as a mistake, and so on.

i think he is trying very hard to make it work with el; saying things that he thinks he feels or that she wants to hear, or reimagining their relationship in their head, but it's doomed because it just lacks foundation, understanding and trust and everything you need. maybe, maybe they love each other? but like - what does that even mean to either of them? maybe mike does not know how to live without her, but why? it is a lot of big statements that feel empty; they lack true meaning or back up, and critical thinking. they were literally only kissing in s3 all the time yet mike was so torn up about their break up, but when it came down to it - when it came down to actual desperation, it was will who he was biking in the rain for. he might think or believe all these things about el, and he may refuse to allow himself to think about will, but it's just all so obvious in his actions and the way he looks at both of them, and how he cannot even say the word love to will, about el, which could have various meanings: because he struggles to say it to her, maybe doesn't and also because it's will, and there is a deep part of him that loves him too, which makes it feel fundamentally wrong to say he loves someone else around him, even if he doesn't recognize that, but maybe it became easier when will let him go; pushed him to el, TWICE, like - that subconscious hope, was squashed, because why on earth would someone push him to say more to their GF while they felt that way? *also in lucas on the line, mike tells dustin and lucas he and el wrote each other love letters yet he cannot say the word to will, and also not saying this content of the w will could be portrayed as a form of defense and self preservation because if will knows he cannot say i love you... some of that reason being because of will himself... then will can figure it out which he cannot allow to happen. (trust me this form of thinking, i've legit done) but mike rly underestimates will's self sacrifices which is why i think mike in s1 is perplexed by will's decision to tell him it was a 7; why tell him when mike didn't see it? i don't think mike understands just how SELFLESS he is, and also, i mean, will gets SNIPPY with mike lmao, and he also doesn't see him as a baby; like he doesn't view him as this, just selfless baby angel, like he just sees him as will, very much of who he is, but also as person because he doesn't idolize him, but he also trusts him, canonically, more than any character on the show it truly seems, and also understands him, canonically, more than any one on the show, but i sometimes think this blinds them both;

they both understand and trust each other so much that they believe they know what the other is thinking, but they don't, and i think it blinds them both, which leads to this miscommunication trope so much. why didn't will reach out more? it's obvious he was JEALOUS but how does that come across to mike? it just seems like will doesn't want to talk to him, and he called maybe a couple of times, yet always whines to dustin about joyce's job, even though... didn't el just tell him about it... it's very obvious that mike cared about will not talking to him at rink o maria; like i know everyone's discussed it but just cuz i have to, he says WILL SABOTAGED THE WHOLE DAY because of his attitude, and THIS IS RIGHT AFTER EL TELLS ANGELA SHE RUINS HER DAY LOL??? like the stark difference is just... insane. but yeah, like i said, i think these two are always on the defense when it comes to their actual feelings, esp mike, but in the form of will: i know everyone think he's like fully accepted his feelings for mike, and such, but i think he's still teetering, considering the script confirms he HATES himself. i think they are both still teetering. but will is a lot more confident about it too, but like... really. we need to believe the multiple inferences we got that say will pulled away from mike and that HURT mike, like i feel like we ignore this bit too much, and i think it's cuz it's all directed from will pov, but mike literally is hurting from this distance. he is. and he is the one to literally say they are friends but these moments truly show how defensive mike is with this. he walks around eggshells with his feelings for his FRIEND. until they're alone. and until they are both in sync. and then it's like hey, hello, you're so important to me, i love you. and in the van, as a reminder with LITERALLY JONATHAN IN THE MIRROR, they aren't alone, and mike needs to be more on guard too because of that because i do think the end of s3, was... a heavy realization but he's still in denial, or regressed, or what not.

anyways.... this got out of hand. but i really just think they're endgame, and it's ok if mike does love el, even romantically, because... well, does he? does he really? it is very... very not... hm. it would work better as friends, but that doesn't mean he never had romantic feelings for her, but it's very much empty, which very much opposes will and mike's relationship which lacks words of affirmation and sometimes quality time but is... really just shown through so much else. amen. the end.

#byler

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shortkingvi · 3 years ago

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Bestie dont be hinged drop the madness in here

alright now that i'm not locked up in absolute awe of how good the movies were, i will share my thots here,,,,,, loosen the hinges, accept the darkness that lives in me (joker moment, some might say 😈)

gonna put it in a read more because i want my friends to watch them unspoiled so i can live vicariously through their reactions BUT if you have seen em already/ don't care about spoilers and want to know my thots, click below

right SO,

i had a feeling from the moment they set up sarah fier as this horrible witch that they were gonna do a salem witch trials thing, which meant that i had my doubts about her being actually evil,,,,,,,, oh but when that third movie happened and deena became sarah????? i was like "oh FUCK they're doing a lesbianism = witchcraft thing!" and i was right! but not fully! which is why i fucking LOVED these movies so much

painting small town life as this horrible cycle of monotony and violence and exhaustion made me 😳 because oh YEAH that's what it's like! the whole time i'm sitting there thinking "just leave town! move away and you'll be fine!" but that's not how it works and the movie did such a good job of presenting families as tied to the very things that harm them

solomon was such a good twist that i didn't clue into until the exact moment they revealed it and it blew my fucking MIND,,,, the way privilege is inherited and not earned (usually on the backs of other people) was so well portrayed through him and his lineage,,,,,,, his "what's one life every couple of years?" line is so so so good when countered with sarah/deena's acknowledgement of the pastor's life dragging 12 others down with him,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like sure, you've only directly sacrificed one person, but in turn you've doomed so many others through your own negligence and selfishness and just,,,,,, oh boyyyyy

ANYWAYS let's talk about deena,,,,,,,, i fucking ADORE that character so very much and she is truly one of the better protagonists i've seen in a long time,,,,,, from the first moment she came on screen she was believable, charismatic, and so fun,,,,,,, there were so many almost kills that i really worried for her through most of the series but!! she ended up being a roundabout final girl (+ our other final girls and boys) in such a great way

re: the kills,,,,,,, oh my god SO good. whenever a horror movie can surprise me with a kill, i'm so happy so these movies were so refreshing and exciting,,,,,, kate and josh in the bathroom? thought they'd die but they didn't,,,, kate on the bread slicer? thought there was no way she'd die but then she did!! loved it so much!!!!!!!

the villains! fun and exciting! would have loved more little mask boy because i love movies like trick r treat but whatever! everyone was super cool and creepy!

sam and deena were a super believable couple too,,,,,,, they left a bit to be desired re: their chemistry, but i've definitely seen worse and i think they did a solid job as little baby gays, so i definitely am not going to complain,,,,,,, i just.... really love deena a lot shfdhcvgdv

they were just so good and so fun and so heartfelt and very reminiscent of all the horror i love so much,,,,,, their true strength was the story, the narrative, and i am so happy for that. too many horror movies now lean on the same boring plots and fantastical effects to get their point across and i'm SUPER happy this one didn't,,,,,,,, i was worried for a little bit that it would just be boring devil stuff, and then it wasn't, and then it WAS but not in the way i thought it would be and it was a trip i am so happy i went on

basically,,,,,,,,,, yeah these movies are excellent and so exactly what i've been craving for so long and i'm not going to be over them for quite some time now and will be forcing everyone in my life to watch them with me

more maya hawke tho,,,,,,,,, that's all i ask for :(

#there u go anon #sightly hinged review of these movies #but with my disgusting unhinged writing style #hope i have not disappointed #fear street #fear street 1666 #anon

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anomalocariscanadensis · 4 years ago

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so. Blindsight. bleak as hell. i think the whole “everyone’s being extremely subtly manipulated by intelligences beyond their comprehension with precise results” thing is... well, it’s a compelling premise once, but i’ve already read Echopraxia. it gets kind of tiring the second time around, and i don’t really think brains work like that. but the aliens are very alien, and the whole thing with the first contact protocol was cool.

an interesting thing about siri’s relationship with chelsea is that he tries to not act like a chinese room in it - he tries to actually be himself with her - and it falls apart because himself just completely sucks ass and can’t interact with people. if he’d been a true chinese room he could have done whatever was necessary to get the best outcome, but he doesn’t. some bits were relatable but thankfully not the “explaining through evolutionary psychology why our relationship is doomed” sort of thing, jesus

the rest of this is going to be various nitpicking disagreements i had, because it is indisputably that sort of book.

vampires are obviously rather ridiculous, just too many convienient things all in one place. the crucifix glitch, obviously, but also, how do you evolve multi-generation hibernation that fast? when you must eat one singular species, and failure to hibernate means you completely wipe out your obligate prey and make your territory uninhabitable? and the longer you hibernate, the fewer generations per timespan *to* evolve in? i’d accept this sort of thing in a book that didn’t have a list of scientific citations at the end but it just doesn’t fit as well

the rationale behind Technology Implies Belligerence seems simply wrong. Sure, if you have all your needs perfectly met you don’t need to develop more technology, but the more extreme the competition, the less leeway you have to set up long-term things and the less free time to spend on idly thinking up new ideas rather than directly competing. I’m fairly certain if you tried to track it, you’d find most technological progress throughout history comes from societies with less day-to-day competition due to surpluses, etc.

Rorschach actually kind of proves this - their whole “sit around generating ATP anaerobically for thousands of years” strategy doesn’t work if you get eaten halfway through

Since Rorschach didn’t attack the humans until after they’d hit it with a probe that it actively told them not to do, it might just be wrong in-universe. Who knows?

there’s a lot of questionable evopsych, but I’m not sure how much the book itself puts stock in evopsych, vs. just Siri as a character putting too much stock in evopsych.

he does get called out for thinking he’s objective when he’s just projecting his own opinions onto other people

also one of the main conclusions he draws from evopsych is “every heterosexual relationship is doomed” (nothing to say about gay relationships, naturally) which seems obviously false enough that I’d suspect it’s a personal bias to the character

but it’s the sort of book where i’m not sure if that even counts

EDIT: i misremembered part of it, he was wrong about Bates plotting to mutiny. i remembered thinking she’d mutinied when her drone fucked up Sarastri, but forgot that she later confirmed it wasn’t her. so yeah i think the really dumb evopsych stuff can mostly be chalked up to Siri being biased

the consciousness as parasite thing is obviously an interesting sci-fi premise but i don’t actually buy it, at least not for Earthly life

chimpanzees do actually pass the mirror test, apparently

my personal experience is that, when i focus on it, i have a lot of really quick pseudo-conscious thoughts before they pass up more slowly into full consciousness, but not all of them end up getting into consciousness. i’d be surprised if consciousness didn’t serve the purpose of, at minimum, taking the good bits of unconscious thought and reinforcing them so they get stored better.

Blindsight’s perspective on consciousness does seem to have language being a product of genuine consciousness, because Rorschach can’t do it. but how the fuck else are humans supposed to communicate, besides language? Maybe you can theoretically have intelligence without consciousness, but if it’s necessary for language then I don’t think you get complex human societies without consciousness, even if they’re individually more efficient.

vampires seem to be able to do language which is a bit weird if they’re not really conscious? but also, like, they can’t do complex societies because they’re so individually territorial, so that’s an enormous disadvantage anyway. i suspect they’d have died out even without the crucifix glitch.

“you don’t need consciousness to do math/science/whatever because of a few anecdotes of people waking up having dreamed whole theorems” is completely unconvincing. like, okay, how much of the work did they do consciously beforehand? how big of a leap was the dream, how complete was it, how much did they have to do consciously to make it rigorous? how often do people wake up with incorrect ideas in their heads?

this sort of thing was more plausible with the Bicamerals in Echopraxia because they were basically magic. applying it to actual humans falls rather short.

also I think his evolutionary reasoning in his “dodo” analogy isn’t quite the right line of thought for the point he’s making. Consciousness, as he frames it, is an extra energy cost for no real benefit which persists only because we’re not facing enough selection pressure to weed it out. But the dodo lost flight because it was excessive and useless for its island, which is the exact opposite situation.

A dodo analogy would be appropriate if consciousness was useful when facing unexpected problems but useless on earth due to human dominance, so we evolved out of it

a better comparison might be the Irish Elk, which is often thought to have gone extinct due to its enormous antlers. Its antlers were way too large to be beneficial to survival, but they persisted and grew bigger over time due to sexual selection. then the argument becomes that consciousness makes you more likely to get laid but is actually bad otherwise. still questionable, but at least fits better

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agentmarymargaretskitz · 3 years ago

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Well, my brain is working overtime on a 911/Legends crossover, where Chimney and Eddie get recruited to join the Legends and find out they have superpowers. Chimney has rapid cellular regeneration (how else did he survive that rebar) and I haven't decided on Eddie's power yet. I want to say that he can phase through things because that would be really useful as a firefighter, but I'm open to other suggestions. Super strength, maybe? I don't know.

Anyway,

Why those two in particular? Because the ANGST when they find out they can't go back home to immediately after they left and they've been missing for months! Christopher and Jee have been left without their dads for months and it's heartbreaking. But also I just want Chimney to experience time travel because he'd be so excited! And Eddie would be super skeptical at first and I think it'd be kind of funny for him to look outside and realize that they're actually in like 1775 or something.

I also just want to see Eddie and Chimney dressed up to visit Salvation 1874, because they would look so damn good. (Yes, the whole firefam would look amazing in those clothes, but specifically those two... yeah, I need it.)

There's also a side plot where Chimney gets left behind accidentally in Europe during WWII. Because reasons. You know which reasons.

Also Eddie has a fling with Nate because Nate is bi and Eddie is gay and they're both trying to figure themselves out. And Nate always gets himself into doomed romances, and Eddie's heart already belongs to someone else, so their relationship is doomed before it even begins.

-Quarantine Anon

OMG LEGENDS AND 911 CROSSOVER YES PLEASE!

Eddie and Chimney having powers/being metas, yes I can see that. Maybe Chimney wound up around Central City in December 2014 and ta daaaa! But Chimney having cellular regeneration makes so much sense and him finding out that it's metahuman would be *chef's kiss*. And Eddie- IDK military experimentation without his knowledge. But the phasing power sounds super cool. I've also thought of him having similar powers to Anissa Pierce. But phasing- he and Chimney are stuck somewhere when the Legends find them and they're about to be crushed, but by instinct (and thinking of XMen Evolution) Eddie grabs Chim and they just phase through it to safety.

The two being promised something quick only to find out they've been gone for months? Heartbreaking. Like...Eddie knows Buck will watch Christopher but he's alive and separated from his son. And Chimney's away from Jee and Maddie! Hell you could pull a Star City 2046 on those two for extra pain.

Chimney and Eddie time traveling, yesss! Chimney's thrilled but then he ends with linguistic dysplasia or whatever it was that Leonard had that one time. Eddie ends up hurling and then it's like 'oh shit, we really are in the past'.

COWBOY EDDIE AND COWBOY CHIM, YES! I would love to see that. Or punk era.

(OMG what if they ended up encountering someone from the 118 in the past because oof I have sudden feels over that)

Chimney gets left behind in WW2- omg he is not about that because he has a family to get home to. But either he meets his great uncle or he ends up giving the name Jim Morita as a cover. IDK. But if it's his great uncle, then having Nate with him could be good pain.

Nate and Eddie both trying to figure out who they are and coming to terms with sexuality, YES! Like...Nate can figure out real fast that Eddie's heart belongs to Buck. So heartbreak.

I would read the hell out of this, okay? I really hope you get to write it. The ask box is open for any thoughts or questions about it.

(Also several people would support reading this. There's a growing number who love your brain)

#quarantine anon #anon #ask box #911 #legends of tomorrow #crossover #eddie diaz #chimney han #team legends #yes

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santiagonex · 5 years ago

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As 2020 is nearing, it’s time to see what 2019 has brought us when it comes to gay representation in tv shows and movies. Below ‘read more’, there’s a whole list of tv shows/ships/movies (with pictures and basic description) which include/are about gay (used as an umbrella term) men and couples (so basically have gay storylines and at least one gay person is a main character of the show/movie).

Since I’m a gay man, I keep up mostly with mlm, if I included wlw as well, I don’t think the list would be complete with my lack of knowledge, so sorry about that. I’m pretty sure there are more competent people who can do that instead of me.

Total Count of TV Shows in the list: 65 Total Count of Movies in the list: 27

Anyways, here we go.

TV SHOWS

TV SHOWS WITH TITULAR/CENTRAL GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

The Other Two: the funniest most-relatable show centered around three siblings – one of them is gay (left). A must-watch for sure. He’s pretty much the hugest part of the show, there are some love storyline (...and they were roomates), some self-loving moments and iconic lines. Just watch it, you won’t regret it.

Sex Education: show about two best friends, one of them (right) is gay. His name is Eric and he gets involved with his enemy Adam (left). Amazing show.

Special: show about a gay man Ryan (right) with mild cerebral palsy, who wants to live his life as an independent person to the fullest. Easy and short show to watch.

Druck (German SKAM Remake): if you don’t know SKAM, it’s pretty much a show where each season is devoted to one character. Third season of German SKAM aired this year and it was revolved around a gay guy (left). For the first time in SKAM history, the main character’s love interest is a trans guy (right).

Skam France (French SKAM Remake): the French version of SKAM had a gay season this year as well.

WTFock (Belgian SKAM Remake): Belgium has a season focused on the main gay character this year as well.

El corazón nunca se equivoca: I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of Aristemo from ‘Mi marido tiene más familia’. Well, they’d already aired the first season of the new spin-off centered around their lives in college (I think).

Merlí: Sapere Aude: Bruno (left) and Pol (right) fans, it’s time to make some noise. Brunol is coming back because Pol is getting a spin-off which will be taking place in university. Bruno will be in it as well. First episode airs on 5th of December this year.

Pose: second season of Ryan Murphy’s popular show with main transgender and gay characters has aired this year.

The Politician: another show from Ryan Murphy was created. The main protagonist of the show (right) is played by Ben Platt and he’s gay. The show contains many LGBT+ main characters.

Tales of the City: the revival of the Tales of the City sequence of miniseries aired this year. The show includes many LGBT+ storylines.

The L Word: Generation Q: the revival of The L Word show will air on 8th of December this year. The show is mainly about lesbians, but based on trailer, there will be a gay couple included as well.

Years and Years: very futuristic show with a political message. Includes both mlm and wlw as main characters.

The Red Line: the plot of this show involves a white cop in Chicago who mistakenly shoots and kills a black doctor named Harrison. Harrison had a husband (left) and daughter (right). The show deals with the consequences of the event.

Now Apocalypse: all I’m gonna say is that Beck from Victorious got to make out with Scott from Teen Wolf, Matty from Awkward and Jake from Glee. The show was renewed for second season and later this statement was taken back and it got cancelled – which I guess says enough about the show.

This Close: the show is about two best friends who are deaf. One of them (left) is gay and has a storyline and spicy scenes with the guy on the right and some other guys as well.

Schitt’s Creek: David (right) and Patrick (left) aka the cutest softest couple of all time. The last season of the show will air next air. Watch the show if you wanna laugh and watch the healthiest gay couple on tv. They also got engaged this year, which was beautiful.

NEW TV SHOWS (1 SEASON) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

Daybreak: both main characters and basically on different sides of the battles. Who wouldn’t want to watch enemies being in love Romeo & Juliet style.

El Juego de las Llaves (The Game of Keys): very interesting and fun show to follow, the one on the right is the main character. He’s closeted, has a girlfriend and gradually realizes there’s something else out there. Nice kissing scenes, plus one very spicy scene. Doesn’t hurt that the guy on the left he will be involved with looks like a dollar store Chris Evans if you squint hard enough.

Five Bedrooms: 5 strangers moves in. The guy in the middle is gay. His mom is a very traditional Indian woman who just wants grandchildren. The whole show is heart-warming and sad at times. The guy gets fair share of screentime and some love interests including a cop from the neighbourhood.

Made In Heaven: Indian show that follows the lives of Tara and Karan (left), two wedding planners in Delhi running an agency named Made in Heaven. Karan is gay. Very progressive show with spicy gay scenes.

What/If: haven’t seen the show yet but friends said these two have a nice storyline in the show. Threesome included.

Bonding: show about two best friends Pete (left) and Tiff (right). Pete is gay. They basically... do freaky shit for work... umm. Just watch trailer or something.

Osmosis: I have no idea what the show is about but the guy on the left is set to betrying to find a soulmate or something. I think I remember seeing some spicy scenes.

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists: basically some gay romance with the guy on the right and someone else. The one on the left dies the first episode so I did not even bother after that. But you can be the judge of it.

Doom Patrol: Larry (left) is a superhero, kinda. There’s something haunting his past, though. Something that involves being gay.

The Umbrella Academy: Klaus (left) my favorite character. He’s kind of a hero along with his other siblings. There’s a deep gay storyling along the way.

Weird City: anyways... all I’m gonna say is that Dylan O’Brien played a gay for one episode in a show. Wish there wasn’t this huge ugly age difference.

Roswell, New Mexico: cowboys, aliens, bisexuality, homosexuality and all that. Didn’t really see the show but there’s a lot of content with these two.

Good Trouble: never saw the sow but the guy on the picture is a main bisexual characters. There are some mlm scenes.

The Society: Grizz (right) and Sam (left) literally the highlight of the show. Just watch it, it is worth to see it for both of them. Sam is also deaf. The show is basically about a bunch of teenagers getting stuck in a town with no one else in or around.

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The High School Musical tv show has just started airing on Disney+. Carlos (left) is confirmed to be gay and to be getting a nice development this season which will probably involve Seb (right) as well.

The Heights: Australian tv show. Sully (left) is gay. Got a thing for Ash (right) at the start. Then things were messy. Then they suddenly kissed. And the things are messy again.

El Club (The Club): very interesting show. The gave these two really (like REALLY) spicy scenes. Some romantic stuff. But there’s really not much depth in my option. Check and see.

Volevo fare la rockstar: didn’t see it but it’s an Italian show and there’s a romantic storyline between these two.

No Good Nick: Jeremy (right) came out this year on this sitcom. Nice and very weid sitcom. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but the way they handled his gay storyline was rather nice.

World on Fire: follows lives of ordinary people from Britain, Poland, France, Germany and the USA during World War II. Two of them are gay. And yeah one of those two is Will from sense8.

TV SHOWS (1 SEASON+) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

Andi Mack: the show that made history. Andi Mack is a Disney Channel show and for the first time in Disney Channel history, Cyrus (right) came out using the word ‘gay’ and made it official with the recurring character TJ (left) this year. The two-season slow-burn was really worth it.

Shadowhunters: Malec got married this year. Yay.

Grey’s Anatomy: Levi and Nico still going strong.

La Casa de las Flores (The House of Flowers): despite the first season making it seem like it was the end for Diego and Julián, that’s not the case. In season 2, they’re stronger than ever, the scenes are spicier than ever and the show is gayer than ever.

Baby: first season was mostly focused on Fabio (face on right) realizing he’s gay. The second season has shockingly showed us that Brando (face on left) is gay as well. Very toxic ship so if you enjoy Gallavich this is probably for you.

Élite: Omar and Ander continuing their journey.

Shameless: Ian (up) and Mickey (down) came back to Shameless season 10 as main characters. About time.

Station 19: new love interest (left, a deaf character portrayed by a deaf actor) was introduced for Travis (right) in the season 2 finale. Let’s see what happens in season 3, which airs in 2020.

Ackley Bridge: they pretty much baited us with Cory (left) and Naveed (right) this season. They stayed just friends, but Naveed found a love interest, so that’s nice.

Find Me In Paris: Never saw the show, but Jeff (on the picture) is gay and his love interest Isaac gets introduced in second season that aired this year.

13 Reasons Why: Tony and Caleb going strong. It was also revealed that Monty (right) is a closeted gay and had a storyline with Winston (left). There’s probably more to come with them in next season.

Insatiable: unfortunately they didn’t serve much Bob (right) & Bob this year. But they introduced detective Rudy (left) and there were some scenes and twists and turns. Whatever.

Riverdale: I don’t care. Kevin (left) is still there. There are some gay charcters based on wiki, but yeah. Crumbs, I bet. Whatever.

Charité: second season (which has the two main gay characters) takes place in Berlin in 1943. You don’t need to watch the first season at all, to understand the second one with them, it’s basically a stand-alone.

Animal Kingdom: Deran and Adrian’s story coming to an end?

The Magicians: Well, they killed off the central bi character Quentin (on the picture), so fuck them.

How to Get Away With Murder: Connor (left) and Oliver (right) still there.

Dear White People: haven’t seen it, but Lionel (on the picture) is still there and he’s gay.

Zoe Valentine: there’s this web series and these two have a storyline in second season that aired this year.

SOAP OPERAS AND TELENOVELAS

Sturm der Liebe: Boris (left) and Tobias (right) are married and lived happily ever after. Really cute and sometimes dramatic storyline overall. Check it out.

Malhação: Vidas Brasileiras: Santiago (left) and Michael (right) had a gay storyline but the show ended this year.

Malhação: Toda Forma de Amar: Guga (right) and Serginho (left) have a gay storyline in the show.

Eastenders: Ben (left) and Callum’s (right) storyline has begun this year.

Neighbours: David (right) and Aaron (left) aka husbands still in the soap.

REALITY SHOWS

Queer Eye: five gay guys helping others. Season 3, 4 and a special have aired this year.

Are You the One?: for the first time in the show’s history, season 8 of this dating reality show had an all-sexually fluid cast this year. Which means mlm and wlw and anything else. Really fun show.

MOVIES

Benjamin: don’t even remember what the movie was about but I rec because it was cute and I mean hello Merlin.

Boy Erased: homosexuality and religion. Has a Troye Sivan in it. Very decent movie.

And Then We Danced: my favorite gay movie of this year. All the things they had to do to be able to film this in homophobic Georgia (the country)... just wow. It’s a must-watch.

Who Would You Take to a Deserted Island?: didn’t know what to expect from this movie. It is based on a play and it shows. Watch and be the judge of it. The acting was really highlight of the movie.

This Is Not Berlin: hasn’t seen it yet since it was just officially released. But it is included in an LGBT+ section so... hopefully they didn’ lie.

Rocketman: movie about Elton John with Taron Egerton and Richard Madden... I mean, phew.

Un Rubio (The Blonde One): gonna watch this, apparently it’s amazing based on what some of my mutuals have said.

The Death and Life of John F. Donovan: Jon Snow being gay and kissing Chris Zylka. Made by Xavier Dolan. A literal tripple threat. Genuinely enjoyed the movie and the soundtrack.

Ranchlands: haven’t seen this but my friend said it’s amazing.

Steam Room Stories: this movie was something... Eating Out levels of ‘I-’ but without all the sex. I guess watch this if you are bored.

Posledice (Consequences): very spicy and intriguing movie. Slovenia snapped with this one.

Papi Chulo: didn’t like this movie and the concept of it but... you can check out and see for yourself.

Dolor y gloria (Pain and Glory): Antonio Banderas kissing a man. Hopefully it really is a gay-related movie because I haven’t seen it yet.

Die Stropers (The Harvesters): brilliant cinematography but I expected much more from the movie.

Giant Little Ones: what happens when you’re into your best friend’s sister but the best friend gives you a BJ. Well... watch and see.

Kanarie (Canary): a war musical about a small town boy who gets chosen to serve his compulsory two year military training in the South African Defence Force Choir and Concert. Loved the involvement of the Boy George music, aesthetic and story. One of my favorites this year.

Luciérnagas (Fireflies): haven’t seen it yet but the description says that the main gay character (right) “flees from persecution in Iran and ends up living in the tropical town of Veracruz.”

El Angel: haven’t seen it but apparently there are some implications it was lowkey gay... so yeah.

Dear Ex: from wiki “San Lian was devastated when she discovered her late ex-husband left his insurance payout to his male partner Ah Jie. She decided to bring her son to fight for their rights, but her son instead chose to stand on the other person's side.” Will watch this soon, sounds interesting.

Sauvage: one of the best gay movies this year. Don’t know how to describe it so let me copy paste the description “ Léo is a sex worker who uses drugs whilst longing for love.”

Sócrates: haven’t seen it yet as it was just released.

Marilyn: story about a farm worker who discovers his sexuality in a hostile environment. Didn’t see it since someone has told me there are some scenes that are really HARD to stomach and I ain’t about that life.

Les Crevettes pailletées (The Shiny Shrimps): the movie is about an Olympic swimming champion who makes a homophobic comment in a television interview, and is disciplined by the national swim team with the responsibility of coaching a gay water polo team who aspire to compete in the Gay Games. Sounds and looks like an amazing comedy and can’t wait to watch it when I will be able to.

Fin de siglo (End of the Century): it’s not out yet as far as I know, but it’s about two men who meet in Barcelona and realize they have met already 20 years ago.

Matthias et Maxime: another excellence by Xavier Dolan. Story about life-long friends who question their sexual identities after they kiss. Looks amazing and I can’t wait for it to get released finally.

The Goldfinch: not a gay movie, but I’ve seen many people considering it as LGBT+ cinema because of the book and you know what, they kissed after all so you can perceive it beyond friendship if you want. If not, then just skip it. I feel like it is worth mentioning it tho.

Mapplethorpe: movie is about the life of photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Didn’t see it but Doctor Who plays him so there’s that.

UPCOMING

TV SHOWS

9-1-1: Lone Star: The spin-off of a popular show 9-1-1 by Ryan Murphy is premiering 19th of January 2020. It’s confirmed that the main character TK (a firefighter, left) will be romantically involved with the main character Carlos (a police officer, right). The show will also have a main trans man.

Love, Simon: The Series: A Disney+ Love, Simon spin-off is on its way and will premiere in 2020. The series will follow Victor (right) and his coming-out story at the same high school where Love, Simon took place. Didn’t find a photo with his love interest. The guy on the left will most likely be his enemy.

#lgbtcinema #gallavich #tyrus #ballum #lgbtedit #love simon #the goldfinch #hsmtmts #brunol #wtfock #lgbt #gay #text #*#gay rec

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akajustmerry · 4 years ago

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hey merry! what are some of your favorite romances/ships in media?

ooooooooooooh i love romance as storytelling so there’s a LOT bare with me:

irene adler & sherlock holmes - the BLUEPRINT for the criminal/detective dynamic and TBH no one does it like them even now!!!

the warrens (conjuring franchise) - love that horror king James wan said, “i WILL make the romantic love between these two people the pillar, the foundation, the THREAD of my INCREDIBLE horror franchise, and they will be played by Patrick Wilson and vera famiga to PERFECTION” love them.

the doctor and river song - the horror, the tragedy, the INTIMACY, the grOwing INtO lOvE knowing it will kill you, but unable to do anything else. the time travel??? look, I know there’s a lot wrong with the way moffat writes romance but this concept was so magnificent Christopher Nolan appropriated it for two straight dudes in tenet so

jane and rafael (jtv) - I deeply love these two, and OOFT the JOURNEY, but what I love about jane/raf (other than how wholesome and sweet they are) is the way the series really showed you that they loved each other in every way (as friends, lovers, family, etc) so that when they finally got together there was no “but what if?” u know? ahh!

sook-hee/hideko (the handmaiden) + lila/diego (tua) + the ladies in poalof + prince char and ella (ella enchanted) - grouping these together because I essentially love them for the same reasons which is we love a love story as emancipation!!! we also romances that begin in deception, but wind up being the most truthful the lovers have ever been fuckin yes!!

nicholas/mia (princess diaries 2) - come to think of it this is also the truth in deception concept again, but I also love romances with men who clearly guzzle respect women juice. also love me a “oh, THIS person is actually who i am in love with” sorta plot. i also love knightly/emma for this too!!

dany/lexi (blood and treasure)- i know for facts there are better examples of this romance plot that i love, BUT I LOVE “exes who didn’t work out so they grew apart, but what they actually did was grow to be right for one another later in life” fuckin SUPERB SHIT

crowley/aziraphale (good omens) - i absolutely don't need to explain this because i can’t it makes me WEEP.

i really dig the funky vibes between anna and that fuckboi she share her feelings with in anna and the apocalypse (2017).

la la land - listen the reason i fkn love lala land is cos its two straights experiencing a gay romance in the sense that ryan and emma have an intense passionate love affair that defines who they are that is doomed to fail but they still acknowledge each other in the club and have vivid “what if” fantasies about eachother

harlivy (harley quinn series) - similar to jane/raf, we love a journey of two people realising they’re EVERYTHING to each other + we got some love as emancipation vibes!!

leap year (2010) - best from com ever made and no i am not joking.

riki and zane (h20 just add water) - have not watched h20 for a long time but i literally think about the banter between these guys every time i go write a couple. they were so formative for me kasdn

richonne (the walking dead) - yeah same as crowley and aziraphale i cant really talk about these two without weeping...they!

eliza/henry (selfie) - ITS ALL IN THE THEME SONG, “while i’m looking at me / i’m hoping to find you” akfksbf don’t TALK TO ME I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

finally, i recently watched little women (2019) and fell in love with that romantic version of laurie/amy. my heart was literally SWELLING at how sweet they were, and how unlike other versions of lw it didn’t feel like they were settling, but CHOOSING each other. loved that.

idk maybe other bisexuals can relate but i find figuring out whether I'm actually enjoying a romance between two characters OR just projecting because i am attracted to them both REALLYYYY HARD.

idk i also used to hate romance growing up, mostly because of the way that when ur a “woman” ur expected to love it and i hated that because tbh most romances in media are SHIT. but i love romance now mostly because i realised how amazing it is in the right handsas a narrative that transcends genre, how it can grow/destroy characters, open them up etc.

i think romance is really powerful but its also really hard to write well and obviously soooo subjective, but i love watching characters grow into and out of romantic love. love it. it fascinates me a lot maybe cos i don't think i’ve ever really experienced it?? not saying that as self-depreciative or anything, but its definitely something that impacts how i see it. anyways, i’m sleepy, thanks for letting me ramble. x

#writing #anon

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metalandmagi · 4 years ago

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Summer 2020 Anime Worth Watching!

Apparently it’s time for the summer anime season, even though it feels like time is meaningless at this point. But somehow, there are still new shows coming out, so if you’re looking for something to watch when you’re stuck at home, here’s a list of the first impressions I got from this season. I don’t really know if it’s going to be worth it, considering how the spring season delayed so much, but here we are.

As always, not all of these are available on Crunchyroll, but I’ll put a * next to the ones that are.

And if you’re looking for a bit more variety, I have lists for 2019 and the rest of this year’s seasons too...because remember when there was good anime being released instead of just everything being an ecchi or a second season?

2019 master list

My master list for every season of 2020 anime

New Shows!

*The God of High School: An over the top action anime consisting of one big tournament arc! It follows a group of teenagers competing in the epic “god of high school” martial arts tournament to determine the best fighter in the country. Following in the footsteps of Tower of God, this is the newest “crunchyroll original” that is being adapted from a South Korean webcomic. You can tell from the first episode that this will be a spectacle with crazy characters and lots of wild action and humor!

Great Pretender: When a Japanese con man pickpockets the wrong person, he ends up hopping on a plane to Los Angeles and getting wrapped up in a scheme with a sassy Frenchman named Laurent...who basically runs the mafia. There’s humor, there’s plot, there’s great characters, and it’s kinda gay. It’s an exciting original anime from studio Wit, so the animation is bursting with character, and both the music and the general vibe remind me a lot of Baccano or even Lupin III. And since it takes place in America with several foreign characters, there's hilarious English and accent shenanigans abound! The bad news is it’s still in Netflix jail, so if you want to watch it legally you’re kinda stuck for now.

Japan Sinks 2020: A giant earthquake hits Japan, and a family must cope with the mayhem together. Because what the hell else could possibly go wrong this year? This is a new series (based on a novel) made by Masaaki Yuasa, the guy behind Ride Your Wave and Walk On Girl, if that tells you anything about the style of this anime. I’ve only watched the first two episodes so far, but I heard it goes from being a gripping realistic disaster series to a balls to the wall adventure. To be honest, disaster shows/movies freak me out, and this one is pretty devastating so far, which is a testament to how well it's made. But I appreciate that they include glimmers of hope when they’re needed. The best moments are the quiet ones that focus on the actual people and the narration that juxtaposes the time periods. There’s so much atmosphere, and the music really enhances the experience. And it’s all out on Netflix now, with a dub and a sub!

Deca-Dence: When humanity has been pushed to the edge of extinction by monsters called the Gadoll, the rest of civilization is forced to live in enormous mobile fortresses and send groups out to battle the unknown monsters. So basically like Mortal Engines but the fortresses can turn themselves into giant fists and punch the monsters. We follow a girl named Natsume who wants to be one of the soldiers who fight the Gadoll, but she is constantly rejected because of her prosthetic arm. So she ends up with five years of cleaning duty supervised by a stern but mysterious badass named Kaburagi. I honestly don’t care at all about the plot of the anime, because for me the characters are what drives everything, and these character dynamics are great. I’m not going to say it’s the most original story, but I think it’s fun so far.

*Rent-a-Girlfriend: A typical harem/romance anime that follows the world’s most annoying protagonist named Kazuya. After Kazuya is dumped by his first girlfriend, he seeks out a rental girlfriend out of self pity….BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT’S A REAL SERVICE THAT EXISTS IN JAPAN?! Like you can actually rent moms/dads/girlfriends/boyfriends and so on. Anyway, his fake girlfriend is the picture of anime waifu perfection...until Kazuya starts being his typical asshole self and she reveals her true nature of being an absolute sass master who don’t take no shit from no boring ass main character. Shenanigans happen and the two of them end up having to pretend they are in a real relationship. And I’m just calling it now...Kazuya’s grandma is the real best girl of the series. If you want a harem that’s actually funny and doesn’t mind roasting the protagonist, give this one a shot. Although I wish this were just a straight up romance instead of a harem because there is no way in hell that any girl, let alone more than one would want actually to date this guy.

Next Seasons and Continuations!

*Fruits Basket 2019 (Season 2): Thank goodness Fruits Basket wasn’t delayed or cancelled last season because sometimes I feel like it was the only thing getting me through the spring. I’ve ranted about how good it is enough by now. If it can’t brighten your year, then nothing will. Just watch it if you haven’t already.

*Re:ZERO-Starting Life in Another World (Season 2): Subaru is still trapped in another world, and he’s still as angsty as ever, but that’s not going to stop him from constantly putting himself through hell when he keeps dying horribly every time he needs to reset the timeline! There are mysterious new villains, nobody knows who Rem is (again) and I think there’s a plot somewhere under all the suffer porn. Seriously though, this show is pretty cool (even if I was two years late to the party). It’s one of the most interesting isekai anime I’ve ever seen, and it feels like it’s acting as a deconstruction of the genre, kinda like how Madoka Magica is for magical girl anime...both shows certainly have enough crying. The story is weird but interesting, the world building is cool, the villains (and sometimes the heroes) are batshit crazy to watch, and I like its moments of humor.

No Guns Life (season 2): The story of Juzo, the hard boiled detective who plays by his own rules continues in the second season of No Guns Life. In case you missed the first season, this is a mystery/action anime that feels like an old noir film had a cyberpunk baby. There’s underground conspiracies, there’s interesting side characters, and...oh yeah the main character has a gun for a head. That’s right. we came to see a bara detective with a literal gun for a face, but we stayed for the world building and mysterious plots!

*Fire Force (Season 2): I’m going to be honest here, I really didn’t know if I should include this one or not. I have a major love hate relationship with Fire Force, but I figured there may be other people out there who would like it more than I do. So in case you missed the first season, this show follows a group of firefighters who puts out fires caused by spontaneous combustion using a mixture of guns and super powers. It was created by Atsushi Ōkubo, aka the guy who made Soul Eater. So it’s bound to be amazing right?

Not necessarily. Strap in for this one lads.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed with this show overall. Its main characters just aren’t that interesting most of the time, it can’t decide on what kind of show it wants to be, and so much of it just dragged for a good part of the series. I don’t know if it was a problem of pacing or if the plot was just that uninteresting for a while. The first couple episodes set up a very unique plot, filled with intriguing moral dilemmas. And then it proceeded to abandon everything interesting in favor of badly timed fan-service. It just couldn’t strike the balance that Soul Eater had between its humor and its sincerity. If they wanted to make an ecchi show, they should have just made one instead of inserting the same overplayed scenarios into every episode. I don’t care if a show has fan-service as long as it fits the tone, or if it only has certain episodes dedicated to playing up the humor. But Fire Force has a habit of just inserting it wherever it wants regardless of what’s actually happening in the episode. Also, some of the humor revolves around one of the main female characters who has a really messed up self image because she’s slightly more muscular, and not a tiny delicate flower like some of the other girls. Not going to pretend that doesn’t bug me.

But that doesn’t mean there is nothing good about it! If there wasn’t, I wouldn’t have finished the first season, and I wouldn’t be including this one. So far, the second season has actually been funny because it made the first episode more like filler, instead of cramming in too much plot all at once. And to the surprise of no one, the animation is absolutely god tier. I wish it was being used for something other than clumsy fan-service, but it’s still really something to see. The world building is super creative and 100% my aesthetic, and there were a couple side characters I really loved later in the series (Benimaru). And I did like the twists and turns the series took later in the season when it actually focused on the conspiracy behind the fire force and the cult. When it follows the mysteries it sets up, it’s more fun to watch. Who would have thought?

TLDR: There’s good stuff and there’s bad stuff. This show is really something you have to watch for yourself to decide if it’s going to be worth it. I’m going to at least try the second season, because I want to see where this goes, but it’s on thin ice.

Honorable Mentions

Isekai edition! Both of these came out last season, but I hadn’t mentioned them when I made my spring list. But they’re both getting dubs now so I’m still counting them.

*My Next Life as a Villainess- All Routes Lead to Doom!: A twist on the isekai genre where our main protagonist wakes up as a character in her favorite otome game...only to find that she’s actually the bitchy rival side character who ends up either dead or exiled in every route of the game. So naturally she does everything she can to prevent this by becoming a sweet and caring supporting character...who inadvertently makes every single other character in the game fall in love with her. I ignored this show for the first few episodes because I need another isekai in the world like I need a hole in the head, but after hearing everyone rave about it, I caught up with it in no time. It’s a fun take on the otome game tropes, and it manages to be funny and sweet while not committing to any particular pairing.

*Ascendance of a Bookworm (Season 2): That’s right, it’s another isekai where an adult is reincarnated into the body of a child in a fantasy world. But this time, it’s a nerdy girl whose entire purpose in life revolves around reading books (can relate). However, when our main character Mine is thrust into this fantasy world, she quickly realizes that this particular fantasy setting is a little too...medieval for her tastes...meaning a family of commoners like hers would have no clue how to read and books are only meant for rich people or the church. So of course Mine has to figure out how to either get her hands on some books or make them herself. This is a super cute show that I waited a long time to finally watch, and since the second season is finally being dubbed I wanted to shout it out. It’s just a wholesome isekai version of Dr. Stone. There’s no real action, but it’s a relaxing watch if nothing else.

Well, there you have it. Hopefully nothing else gets delayed or cancelled because it’s pretty slim pickings as it is. And before anyone asks, I didn’t include GIBIATE because I thought it was a massive disappointment that somehow made a time travel horror anime plot boring. There’s also My Teen Romantic Comedy Snafu, but it’s been 5 years since I watched the other seasons and don’t remember anything about it. But there’s that too in case anyone is a fan of the series and didn’t know it got another season.

See you next season…if the world is still here by then?

#anime recommendations #2020 anime worth watching #ascendence of a bookworm #my next life as a villaines #fire force #no guns life #re:zero #fruits basket 2019 #fruits basket #rent-a-girlfriend #deca-dence #japan sinks 2020 #great pretender #the god of high school

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trensu · 5 years ago

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Episode 27: The One where I Want to Punch Basically Every Sect Leader in the Face. Repeatedly. With a Chair.

And we start off back in the rain, AKA OUR ENDLESS TEARS

Wwx is like, do you remember our promise?

And lwj flashbacks TO THEIR LANTERN SCENE FROM THE ONE WHERE LWJ FINALLY SEES THE LIGHT

WE GET TO SEE LWJ’S PRECIOUS BABY FACE AS HE FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS IN THAT FLASHBACK

IT HURTS SO GOOD

Wwx: i wished to stand with justice and live without regrets. But tell me now, who’s strong, who’s weaker? Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Lwj: wei ying!

Oh god, his voice! HE’S DISTRESSED

Wwx: is this the promise we pledged our lives to keep?

THEY BOTH LOOK SO HEARTBROKEN RN

Oh, look, lwj is doing the deathgrip of gay yearning on bichen again. We haven’t seen that in awhile AND I WISH WE WEREN’T SEEING IT NOW

Okay, but for real, how can lwj look so hurt here when the actor is literally doing nothing with his face??

I know i’ve mentioned that before, BUT C’MON, HOW?? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK??

Wwx: my only regret is that i didn’t stop the jin clan who took living people as bait

I REGRET YOU NOT TAKING DOWN THE JIN CLAN TOO

WE COULD’VE AVOIDED SO MANY PROBLEMS IF WE’D JUST KILL OFF 90% OF THAT CLAN, OMG

And now wwx is all, i missed my chance to protect wen ning before so now i MUST leave to save him

BC WWX IS THE BEST MOST HONORABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD

Oh no

Oh noooo

He’s pulling out his demon flute. We’re gonna get THAT SCENE

Wwx: lan zhan, if i finally have to fight them, i’d prefer to fight with you

Wwx: if i am doomed to die, at least i can be killed by you. That would be worth it.

HE SAYS THAT BC HE TRUSTS VIRTUOUS LWJ TO STOP HIM IF HE REALLY IS IN THE WRONG

AND I AM SCREAMING IN PAIN RN

BC LOOK AT LWJ’S FACE

HE’S LISTENING TO HIS SOULMATE TELL HIM THAT HE WANTS HIS DEATH TO BE AT HIS HAND

Oh god, he’s doing the bichen deathgrip again

He tears his gaze away from wwx and turns to the side TO LET THEM ALL GO PAST

EYES LOWERED AS HIS HEART BREAKS INTO A MILLION PIECES

HE’S CRYING OH GOD HE’S CRYING

THERE ARE TEARS GOING DOWN HIS FACE, OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

HE DIDN’T EVEN CRY WHEN HIS HOME GOT BURNED AND HIS FAMILY WAS MISSING AND/OR DYING

And now he drops his umbrella to the ground AS HE TRIES TO DROWN HIMSELF IN THE RAIN

*HYSTERICAL SOBBING*

THEY PACKED ALL THAT HEARTBREAK INTO THE FIRST 6MIN OF THE EPISODE, WTF, SOMEBODY STAB ME

And after all that emotional torture we get Plot Stuff happening

Blah blah wwx at the burial mounds blah blah sect leader banquet blah blah

Ugh, gross, they’re letting the idiot sect leaders talk again

They’re all blah blah wwx is evil blah blah he murders ppl blah blah we hate him blah blah

SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF WALKING HUMAN-RIGHTS-VIOLATIONS

This whole part here is so difficult to watch. They’re literally just trash-talking my PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY

Jc, lwj, and lxc look visibly uncomfortable with what’s going down and they kind of sort of tried to defend wwx but they didn’t present a united front or hold their ground

Instead they let yao and ouyang run their stupid mouths

Anyway

Here’s little itty bitty bits of almost wangxiantics in the middle of this mess

Jgs: yeah, jc, i know wwx is your trusted bro and all but idk if wwx actually respects your authority. Do something about it, maybe

Lwj: *subtly glares at jgs*

And then everyone joins in on dragging wwx’s name through the mud bc apparently that’s the hot new thing in the cultivator world

If you look closely while this is happening, you can see that lwj legit GRINDS HIS TEETH with how much he’s holding back. MY POOR BB HAVING TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO EVERYONE DISPARAGE HIS SOULMATE

Jgs: wwx totally doesn’t respect you, jc, my bro. Everyone here heard him say how much he thinks you suck or whatever

Lwj: No I didn’t.

OOOOH, LWJ IS ANGRY AS HELL

HE’S OUTRIGHT GLARING AT JGS

Jgs: what??

Lwj: i never heard wei ying say that, nor did i see him disrespect clan leader jiang

HANGUANG-JUN I LOVE YOU, LOOK AT YOU DEFENDING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU

And ugh, disgusting, jgy steps in to be all “oh, well, wwx said so many awful things that day, who can possibly remember the specifics?”

Lwj visibly swallows here, as if he’s choking back a response, and his lips are all pursed.

HE’S FURIOUS. HE’S ROILING WITH IMPOTENT ANGER, WHICH IS THE WORST KIND OF ANGER, TBH

That’s all the wangxiantics we get from that terrible awful sect leader banquet

THOSE SECT LEADERS NEED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE

LIKE, A LOT

WITH A CHAIR

OR A TABLE

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME JUST TAKE BICHEN AND BEAT THEM ALL WITH IT

OR BETTER, YET, I’LL USE BAXIA. I WON’T EVEN CUT THEM UP. I’LL JUST BEAT THEM WITH THE BROAD PART

*ANGRY YELLING*

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute!

This isn’t a wangxiantic

But it is an EPIC MOMENT that should be commemorated.

Because here we get…

*drum roll*

MIANMIAN BEING A BOSS

Jz: blah blah wwx kills our people indiscriminately blah blah

Mm: not indiscriminately

Mm: indiscriminate is not accurate

And everyone around her is like, confused and offended because they’re assholes

Mm: in this specific case, if the overseers did abuse the Wen prisoners and kill wen ning, then what wwx did was not “killing indiscriminately”

Ouyang: nah, the overseers said they never abused/killed anyone

Mm: OF COURSE THEY’D FUCKING SAY THAT. THEY DON’T WANT TO FACE PUNISHMENT, YOU IDIOT

(okay, she didn’t call him an idiot outright or swear, but it was totally there in her tone of voice and also ouyang is an idiot so there)

Mm: you all think you’re so smart and voice your opinions so loudly

Mm: I SECEDE FROM THIS BULLSHIT. FUCK THE JIN CLAN AND YOUR STUPID CLAN POLITICS

And she throws down her jin robes and mARCHES RIGHT OUT OF THAT SHITHOLE WITH HER HEAD HELD HIGH

MIANMIAN PLEASE MARRY ME

Lwj watches her do that and two seconds later follows her out bC HE RECOGNIZES BADASSERY WHEN HE SEES IT (and also she defended the love of his life)

And that badass moment ends

But the banquet of idiots keeps going

The jin clan needs to learn how to shut the fuck up

God, they just go on and on and on

Why are they torturing me like this

OH WAIT, WE’RE OUTSIDE THE BANQUET HALL NOW

We see lwj and mm standing together on a terrace, talking to each other

BUT WE DON’T GET TO HEAR WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER AND THAT HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY

WHAT DID THEY SAY

TELL MEEEEEEE

Oh, side note to let you all know this direct quote from nmj - “that girl really has a backbone.”

Okay nmj, i’m slightly less angry at you now. I won’t try to beat you with bichen or a table or a chair.

(but now i kinda wish mm would join the nie clan. I think she’d do well there and also i want to see her carry a gigantic saber)

We get some chitchat with the Official Bros™ but idc let’s move on

(tho i do appreciate the look nmj gives jgy, like, HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME lolol)

Ooooh, now we’re getting lan fam time

ANGRY lan fam time, uh oh.

Lqr: lwj, have you regretted it? I didn’t punish you when you broke into the Forbidden Chamber bc i thought you’d self-reflect

Lqr: you shouldn’t have gone to qiongqi way and let wwx go. Should you make one mistake after another?

And lwj is kneeling in front of him this whole time with a blank face

Lqr: what’s the use of getting you to memorize the Great Big Book of Lan Fam Rules?? Tell me, what is rule 52?

Lwj: No association with evil

He answers immediately and without any inflection to his voice.

Lqr: did you forget what happened to your father???

AND WE FINALLY GET A REACTION HERE

Lwj practically gasps and lifts his gaze to meet his uncle head-on

Lwj: my mother, she…!

Lqr: hold your tongue!

And just like that, lwj shuts down again; expression flat and gaze lowered

GOD, THIS CLAN HAS HURT HIM SO MUCH THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE

I MEAN, THEY MUST’VE, FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO JUST DISCONNECT LIKE THAT

THAT IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A NORMAL WELL-ADJUSTED PERSON

Basically the entire lan clan needs to go to therapy, like, STAT

Oh, i just noticed, lwj has his fists clenched at his sides. He’s clenching them hard, too. I think they’re trembling a bit, actually…

Lqr: i’ve been taking care of you since you were a kid; you’re like my son.i was strict bc i wanted you to stick to the right path and avoid your father’s tragedy

Lqr: that’s what i wanted to say to you. I hope you choose the right path. You may leave.

Lwj still bows respectfully before taking his leave

And i’m sure y’all are wondering, hey trensu, why did you make us endure that angry lan fam time that hurt us deep in our soul?? That wasn’t wangxiantic at all!

That’s where you're wrong, my friends!

It’s actually SUPER wangxiantic bc lqr kept drawing parallels to lwj’s dad the practically whole time

You know, the dad that married their mother who murdered some guy and had the whole world turn against her.

(Sound familiar?)

The same mother that dad loved with his entire being and did what he could to keep her safe from the ramifications of her actions? By marrying her? And hiding her in the cloud recesses?

YEAH, HE’S EQUATING WANGXIAN WITH LWJ’S PARENTS’ TRAGIC ROMANCE

Bc, you know, that’s a totally hetero comparison to make lol

Oh, now we get to see our favorite Disaster Het be less of a disaster

We’re not going into detail here bc we’re not here for hetero shenanigans, yuck (actually, i’m apparently weak to Pining Idiots of all kinds bc this whole jzx/jyl scene is giving me tender feelings)

BUT

I do want to add that OMG FOR REAL LWJ AND JZX HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR LOVE LIVES, IT’S FANTASTIC

I NEED 10 MILLION FICS OF THEM COMMISERATING OVER THEIR SHARED DISASTER-NESS

Also, how the HELL did jzx end up being the one who was able to express his intentions clearly? He was all “please don’t go to the burial mounds, stay here with me so i can protect you from all who would want to hurt you”

DAMN IT LWJ, IF YOU’D JUST SAY THAT TO WWX, HE’S UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON.

YOU CAN’T JUST BE ALL “COME TO GUSU” WITH NO EXPLANATION

Jzx accomplished this before you did, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

Huh, okay, i guess i did go into a bit of detail with that hetero nonsense. Oh well.

Now we’re at the burial mounds again with wwx

AND WE SEE A-YUAN PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIMEEEEE!!

ANY A-YUAN MOMENT IS BY DEFAULT A WANGXIANTIC, GUYS, TRUST ME.

AAHHHH, WE SEE A-YUAN DO THAT LEG-GRABBY THING HE DOES!!!

HE’S SO CUTE. TOO ADORABLE.

I LOVE YOU A-YUAN

Lol, wwx is all if you don’t let go i’ll plant you like a turnip

And a-yuan plops himself down in the dirt like YOUR THREATS DON’T WORK ON ME, OLD MAN, I LIKE BEING IN THE DIRT

Then he asks wwx for 3 elder brothers and 2 elder sisters, awwww. He thinks wwx can grow them in the garden (like cabbage patch kids!!!)

Plot stuff happens

Blah blah wwx and wq share moment blah blah jc shows up blah blah

Lol

Jc sees that glowing talisman door thing and is like THAT SIGN WON’T STOP ME BC I CAN’T READ

And then whips it down with zidian

Now we get some feelings-laden Yunmeng bros time

A-yuan shows up and leg-grabs jc and it’s ADORABLE

But jc yells at him bc he’s a JERK

Wwx scolds jc and then is a Dad to a-yuan: don’t put your hand in your mouth, you were just touching dirt!

Awww, we get to see jc fight back a smile at this! HE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE, I JUST KNOW IT.

Plot plot plot stuff happens

More plot stuff happens

And the episode ends with us still in the burial mounds with the yunmeng bros

And you know what, i’m just gonna focus on our BAMF mianmian moment bc quite frankly the rest of the episode either had me in tears of anguish or spitting mad. There was no inbetween.

I’m gonna end up having blood pressure problems at this rate.

I’m too poor young to have blood pressure problems.

The Jin clan better pay for any medical bills I get because of them, I'm just saying

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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thanksjro · 5 years ago

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More Than Meets the Eye #1- Meeting All Our New Friends

Okay, let’s see what happens when you give one man way too much power over a franchise, and he doesn’t use it for evil.

Before we get into the story, let’s take a look at the cover art! MTMTE, as well as its sister series, Robots in Disguise, started off IDW Phase Two, a brand new run of main comics to replace the by-then completed The Transformers (2009). To celebrate this momentous occasion, each comic’s first issue got FOUR separate covers, which could be combined to create a large, overarching image. MTMTE’s looked like this when all the covers were put together.

The cover art here is by Alex Milne, who is on as the main artist for the series, but he’s not on issue #1- no, for our foray into this comic run, we see the return of Nick Roche.

The last time Roche and Roberts worked together was on Last Stand of the Wreckers, and other than MTMTE #6 and the Revolution one-shot, they won’t be teaming up again within the IDW run.

On a potentially-related-but-more-of-just-a-humorous note, it seems that Roberts is a huge stickler with his scripts, going into what sounds like an honestly horrific amount of detail for each individual panel. The average comic script is either between 20-23 or 28-30 pages long, not counting title and credit pages. Roberts has been cited as sending in comic scripts that approached 50 pages.

Which, if you know anything about the scriptwriting process, is a little… yeah. It’s a very good thing Roberts seems to be able to take criticism.

ANYWAY.

IT’S TIME.

The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye- Liars, A to D Part 1: How to Say Goodbye and Mean It- holy fucking shit that’s a long title- starts off with the Story So Far, a comic book classic to catch readers up on what’s happened prior to the issue. The very nature of a Story So Far will become plot-relevant much later down the line, but as is, it’s just reminding us what happened during Phase One, in as basic a point as it can.

And then the credits are right underneath.

I can’t even imagine how friggin’ good seeing this printed must have felt.

So, what’s going on in the premiere of the sad, gay, space comic?

Not my phrasing, by the way, but the Wiki’s.

So, the war’s over. What does that mean? Well, a lot of things, honestly, but the first thing we’re given in terms of what changes to expect with everyone’s favorite space robots is in relation to their wardrobes. Yeah, without a war to fight, what’s the point in having relatively identical blocky armor that protects all your insides? It’s time to get skimpy.

Rodimus has switched out his toned calves and discernible ankles for the Uggs that are now positively iconic to his character. Drift’s mass has almost completely gravitated to his thighs, making him the curviest thing this side of the Milky Way. Ultra Magnus didn’t get the memo about not needing to be in uniform anymore, I guess, but somehow I doubt he owns anything casual.

Rodimus, Drift, and Magnus are holding a rally to invite Autobots to come on their party-barge to find the Knights of Cybertron, in an effort to heal the planet, because Rodimus took one look at post-war Cybertron and said “no thanks.” Honestly, I think most would, if these properly colored characters are any indication.

Just the Autobots, by the way. We aren’t ready to be friends with the ‘Cons just yet. Swindle did some major damage on that front.

Prowl and Wheeljack are off to the side discussing this turn of events, and while Wheeljack seems to think that a lot of folks will be boarding the ship and getting the hell out of dodge, Prowl’s expecting nothing to come of it.

So, that was yesterday. What’s going on today?

Inside Kimia, there’s a dead guy. He wasn’t dead when he was brought in, but he is now. Who is he, anyway?

Oh, he’s one of the NAIL protesters, and he died because he was protesting by way of transforming on the steps of Autobot HQ, until his transformation cog burn out. Yep, that can kill you. Ratchet’s the one who performed the autopsy, as per Metalhawk’s request- he only wanted the best of the best on this.

Too bad the best of the best is starting to slump. After a brief scare with Rigor Morphis- the stiffening of the corpse into the body’s preferred mode- Ratchet explains to Bumblebee that his hands have started seizing up, and that’s why he’ll be leaving on the Lost Light with Rodimus. He just can’t do the work anymore.

This news is not well received by Bumblebee, who’s just about had it with everyone up and leaving him all by himself with the mess that is Cybertron.

Phase Two will not be kind to Bumblebee.

Bumblebee accuses Ratchet of having been insnared in Rodimus’ siren song of reclaiming the Golden Age, but c’mon, this is Ratchet! He’s too cynical to fall for that. He’s more interested in finding the Autobots who’ve been lost over the millennia to the war. Ratchet’s already well aware of the true purposes of this little galactic road trip, almost like he’s read the plot outline.

It’s about helping people, and adventure, and being unapologetically gay and sad in equal measures.

Up in the sky, Cyclonus is displeased. He spent six million years in the Dead Universe, under the control of a madman, waiting for the moment he could return to his beloved homeworld, and what does he get? A ball of half-baked primordial cookie-dough, and it’s not even chocolate-chip like he was expecting; it’s fucking oatmeal raisin.

Mmm, that is some tasty panel-breaking right there.

Of course, the I/D chip might not have worked anyway, seeing as Cyclonus got a little bit of a boost when Vector Sigma ejected everyone during the Matrix incident. It’s doing some weird stuff to his body, on top of whatever nonsense existing inside the Dead Universe does to a person.

Cyclonus is about to head over to the Lost Light- apparently he and Rodimus made a little deal off-panel- when he detects a familiar life sign and decides to see what that’s all about.

Over in Prowl’s office, things are tense. He and Chromedome can’t even look at each other, as Chromedome reveals that both he and Rewind are jumping on the Lost Light. Prowl doesn’t like this, not one bit. He needs Chromedome, needs his skills, his expertise. He tries to appeal to Rewind, knowing who wears the pants in this relationship.

Or, well, he tries.

Prowl, they’ve been married for over 250,000 years.

In all seriousness, this is slightly before the first tentative steps Roberts took towards making the franchise as gay as he possibly could, at least when going by the story’s chronology. The thing about professional comic script writing is that plotting/planning goes for a ways beyond the current script one’s working on, so that everyone knows where everyone else is. Considering the somewhat congruent nature between MTMTE and RiD, planning ahead was especially important.

Chromedome and Rewind were originally (like, first draft originally) meant to be best friends. This was to fill a void in the department of close relationships Roberts felt within the Transformers franchise. Then Roberts saw how handsy he’d been writing them during plotting and realized he’d made something a little different happen. Which still sort of went with what he was going for, just in a slightly different fashion. Chromedome and Rewind are a rare case of a writer NOT leaning into the “they’re just bros, bro” mentality and just letting the characters be together as romantic partners.

Also keep in mind that it would be another three fucking years before the United States would legalize same-sex marriage, which is where the IDW offices are located. You gotta ease that sort of change in, that way nobody realizes what you’re doing until it’s already been done, then you can go hog-wild. We won’t be hitting critical mass on the homonormative civilization that is IDW1 Cybertron for a solid year or so.

So this bit of dialogue is just the start of the setup, and the “best friend” line is either a leftover from earlier versions of the script, or Prowl really just is that big of an asshole.

Rewind is, of course, recording everything taking place on his handy-dandy little head-mounted camera, because history is his business, and he’s not going to stop recording for the likes of Prowl.

Rewind doesn’t like Prowl very much.

It would seem that the feeling is mutual.

Chromedome suddenly remembers that trying to reason with Prowl is like talking to a brick wall, and the two of them leave. Prowl responds to this slight by yelling in the hallway and then flipping a table.

I sure hope y’all like running gags.

Of course, Prowl wouldn’t be Prowl without having a few contingency plans in place for when things don’t go his way, and he makes a call to his inside guys to “load the cargo.”

That’s not ominous in the slightest.

Six million years prior to all this nonsense, a tiny little dude fell in a hole and broke his legs trying to get to work.

This is Tailgate, and he’s seen better days. Not many, mind you, but at least a couple. He was making his way to the launch of the original Ark, when he decided to take a shortcut that would change the course of his life forever. Hence the whole “stuck in a hole” thing. Still, he’s got to get out of here, because without him, the entire expedition is doomed!

For being an idiot, Tailgate’s pretty smart- he figures that if he sets off his energon rations, it’ll blast up through the roof of the cavern he’s in and someone will be able to find him. Good thing energon’s so incredibly volatile.

Speaking of volatile, let’s jump back to the present and check on our buddy Whirl.

It looks like Whirl also got a makeover between series, because he’s now sporting a much sleeker, angular frame, complete with long, tapered head.

Whirl’s currently busy thanking his new friends for spending so much time with him. It really meant a lot to him, their patience. Not many folks have been patient with him before.

Of course, it probably helps that all these guys are dead as hell.

It’s time for another Roberts’ staple- the suicide attempt. We won’t be using the robot-equivalent to Multiple Sclerosis though. This go around, we’ll be using a classic: self immolation!

Title drop! Bet you weren’t expecting it to have such a dark connotation, huh?

Cyclonus interrupts Whirl’s monologue and suicide attempt. He thought he’d seen his best buddy, Scourge, on his tracker, and his immediate response is to lurk in the shadows looking like a night demon wearing a party hat.

Fun fact: a group of Sweeps is called a Spring Cleaning.

Scourge isn’t here, and he won’t ever be. Scourge most likely died off-panel, never to be seen again, assumedly because nobody wanted to write for him. I think it’s the nails, puts people off.

Whirl doesn’t take kindly to the intrusion, and responds the only way he knows how.

It’s always embarrassing when your self-immolation gets interrupted, but maybe try taking a first deep breaths before committing to more war crimes, Whirlybird.

While these two morons fill the post-Bay movie explosion quota, Red Alert’s hard at work screening the passengers on the Lost Light. Currently, he’s checking Brainstorm, who’s making it as difficult as possible, both legally and emotionally. Red Alert waves him on with a grumble, without even getting a peek at what’s inside his mysterious briefcase.

Up next is Swerve.

His legs are so jacked, it makes me a little uncomfortable. Glad to see Swerve’s body reformat went swimmingly- seems he went for the classic “tires in the shoulders and ankles” model.

Oh hey, it’s Rung! Hi Rung!

This series will not be kind to Rung.

While Cyclonus and Whirl terrorize the folks just trying to get on board the dang ship, Rodimus is feeling rather pleased with himself with the turnout. Drift strokes his ego a bit, because they support each other, but things are still weird because Drift doesn’t know who he is as a person anymore, and Rodimus has a guilty conscience mixed with being the Matrix’s golden child, which really fucks with a guy’s head.

Ultra Magnus goes through the list of the folks joining their quest, and starts running through all their demerits and crimes like it’s his job, because it is. We get a little peek into Magnus’ world view and then it’s back to the Whirl and Cyclonus show.

Also, Drift doens’t have a nose right now. He’ll get it back in time for the next issue, don’t worry.

Over with the flyboys, Cyclonus has decided to land and attempt to reason with Whirl. Not that he couldn’t totally kill Whirl if he wanted to.

He just doesn’t want to.

No, Cyclonus is far more concerned with his meeting with Rodimus, the one that he’s already friggin’ late for thanks to the detour he took checking that life signature. Whirl doesn’t care, far more worried about the fact that Cyclonus saw him talking to desecrated corpses and, far more importantly, vulnerable.

Look at this jackass’ ensemble- demon helmet, a crop top, a skirt and bellbottom pants. What an icon. He and Eugenesis Wheeljack should trade fashion tips.

Whirl still isn’t done with him, even after scraping him across the side of a mountain. Feeling especially artsy, he scoops Cyclonus up and jumps into the air, since he apparently has a hundred-foot vertical leap.

Back in the past, things aren’t going so well for Tailgate.

More cool panel stuff going on here- every time the panels have had rounded corners, it’s been when the scene takes place in the past. Now that the last panel has proper right angles to it, Tailgate’s in the present with everyone else. That middle panel probably covers a couple million years, at least. Poor guy.

Up on the surface, Ratchet’s met up with Chromedome and Rewind, and they’re all walking over to the launch site, Chromedome bitching all the while about how they’ve got to use their legs since Rewind’s alt-mode isn’t a vehicle, but a USB.

Chromedome seems to have forgotten that his tiny husband is small enough to probably just ride on top of his alt-mode, if not directly inside, most likely due to his larger-than-life personality.

Whirl and Cyclonus fall out of the sky before Chromedome can say something that’ll get his ass divorced. Cyclonus gets knocked out cold, having taken the brunt of the impact. Unfortunate, seeing as Whirl’s taking the time to make up lies about him.

You thought I was kidding when I said the armor was skimpy, but here we are, with a shot of Whirl’s battle thong.

Ratchet, who knows Whirl, because he knows everybody, tries to talk him out of straight up murdering Cyclonus. Whirl doesn’t like it when people try to talk him down, and is about to turn on the good doctor, when Tailgate enters the scene, by way of explosion.

Whirl doesn’t handle explosions terribly well. Probably why he was going to use one to kill himself.

With Whirl knocked out, Ratchet and the power couple pull Tailgate out of his hole, where he manages to ask about the launch before freaking the fuck out and fainting at the sight of a rather dead-looking Whirl. To be fair, I can’t think of a whole lot of folks who’d survive getting their tits blown off with enough force to clear a tunnel in solid rock.

You said it, Rewind.

Ratchet grabs Tailgate and Whirl and brings them onboard the ship, seeing as Tailgate seems to want to be there, and Whirl’s too dangerous to be out of sight. They just kinda leave Cyclonus on the ground. I doubt the two guys who were on Kimia last month really want to deal with him.

Rewind breaks off from the group to see his dealer. This dealer isn’t selling the good kush though. He’s got something far more incriminating to offer.

But we don’t get to find out what the fuck Rewind just bought from Swindle for a few more issues. Rest assured, it’s nothing good.

On the bridge, Rodimus is in his captain’s chair, ready to captain it up. The Lost Light raises into the air, as Bumblebee and Prowl watch on, about to exit the atmosphere and begin a adventure filled with hijinks and mild peril.

And that’s a series wrap on everyone! I hope you enjoyed this wonderful one-shot written by James Roberts.

What do you mean there’s 56 more issues?

Alright, let’s see where this goes.

Back on the bridge, there’s alarms and sirens out the wazoo, as things have pretty much immediately gone to shit. The quantum engine the Lost Light’s outfitted with apparently went off prematurely, rocketing them into a completely random quadrant of space.

Also, there’s a hole in the ship, and vacuum physics are doing their thing.

This series will not be kind to Rodimus.

The Lost Light touches down on the planet they popped back into existence over to start looking for all the guys who got sucked out of the ship. They don’t have to look long, seeing as they’re all burning up in the atmosphere.

Welcome to the Lost Light. It’s a friggin’ mess.

Back on Cybertron, the aftermath of the explosion is seen, as Bumblebee and Prowl listen to a message that seems to imply a lot more heartache in the future.

Prowl, you could at least pretend to give a shit.

That’s the end of the story, but not the end of the issue. In the back of the book, we get a welcome letter from James Roberts himself, thanking the reader for taking the time to read the beginning of MTMTE, and holy shit does he really try to sell it to you. This is a guy who wants you to be excited about the story that’s coming your way, because he’s excited about it. He’s a big dork who loves Transformers, and he gets to write about them for the next six years! That’s awesome.

#transformers #jro #mtmte #liars A-to-D #issue 1 #incoming analysis #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

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devourer--of--books · 4 years ago

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Callis was Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist and here’s why

Okay so, in this post we’ll be discussing topics such as sex, contraception, and some religion in the context of it being used as a mean to control people sexually.

If you’re younger than 13, honestly, this post isn’t for you.

If you’re unlucky, like me, and your school didn't give you proper sex ed, I beg you to ask someone about it. Your older sibling, your mom, someone, okay? Ask google. It’s important stuff you need to know.

First of all, for composure’s sake, let’s all pretend I didn’t start thinking of this due to me writing a smut fic. At 4am, on my tablet notes. On my defense, tho, there’s an astonishing lack of E-rated fics on this fandom and someone ought do it, okay? Moving on.

So, where shall we start?

Let’s get context out of the way, welcome to my analyses, the actual headcanons are here, I promise, let me just bore you to death first:

The SGE book series overall is set in fantasy fairytale land (The Endless Woods), with the exception of Gavaldon, aka, the reader village. Due to this, there’s not really a time period liking the SGE world to ours, neither can it be presumed by the world building, as Soman mixes traditional medieval elements with modern elements, which I know bothers some of you too, it ain’t just me, but nevermind that right now.

The point is, the arguments I’m making on this post are based on aspects mentioned in the books, but I’m also going to draw some information from the real world.

A big chunk of the first two books rely on the world the existence of a patriarchal structure in that world, as do some plot points during the rest of the series, but if I were to dive into that we’d be here all night. Talking about the Endless Woods social structure is very complicated, specially with the ‘no labels in the woods’ stuff combined with the misogyny. It’s messy.

Thankfully for this post, we’ll only go into Gavaldon, because I feel things there are more… explicit (pun intended).

So here’s what we know of Gavaldon’s social structure pre-book 1:

It’s a decent sized village with no official government. There’s no political figure of power, such as prince or a mayor, as they eventually get in QFG. There also doesn’t seem to be an actual economic class distinction between the people of Gavaldon, other than mentions of beggars (pretty sure it’s just one tho, but I might be wrong). Everyone works and trades amongst themselves, with people having more or less the same things (except for Callis and Agatha, due to them being social outcasts).

Who has power in Gavaldon?

The Elders Council. They make the laws, they are respected, they have influence, and therefore they have power. These dudes stopped people from selling food to Stefan’s family during book 2, and threatened his new family in front of everybody during book 3. And everyone in Gavaldon loved that man. Why are they powerful tho?

Power is born out of inequality. If you have what we have not, we follow where you lead. Gavaldon has no nobles and no bourgeoisie. Geez, I wonder which powerful class we’re missing.

The clergy.

Personally, I hold no love for the church. I’m an atheist, but, as this post is about SGE and not religion, I’ll try to be as neutral as possible, as the point is not to offend or disrespect anyone. When I mention ‘religion’ or ‘clergy’ from this point on, I’m talking about religion as an Institution. As in the Medieval Catholic Church (which if you don’t agree was at least kind of very evil, I don’t know if I want you reading my posts anyway, so feel free to leave).

Most likely, the members of Elders Council of Galvadon were linked to its Church, whatever religion they may have. I can’t see any reason why they would have so much influence otherwise. Who appoints new men to the positions once one of them dies? I’m gonna guess the remaining members of the Council.

And no one said anything? For centuries. Okay. Corruption? Never heard of her.

Also, burning unmarried women as a way to solve problems claiming they were witches? Wonder where I’ve seen this before.

The fact they’re men, should get mentioned too, just in case you forgot. I bet there are women just as old and wise, if not wiser than the members of the council. Hm, wow why they’re not part of the council.

This hypothesis ties in with the fact that the education given to the kids is limited to the local school, which, given the lack of government and simplicity of work relations, is probably funded by the clergy. We don’t see any proof of this, but again, if we’re comparing Galvadon to a medieval village, it would make sense.

What is even taught at this school? Math and whatever language they speak there, sure, but like they have little to no history that we know of, geography would be pointless, there are no foreign languages, science who, and with these clowns running the village I’ll bet there is no philosophy or social studies and... Doesn’t matter, let’s not do this right now.

Callis briefly mentioned that all girls in Galvadon must marry before the end of their school education, or they are deemed witches. The Elders Council even chooses the matches, in case those aren’t naturally formed or if they disagree with pre-existing ones. These kids are what,15,16, maybe younger?

(this makes me so mad, you have no idea-)

ANYWAY. They form these child marriages, for... look I’m gonna presume is because of population reposition. They need an average of 2 kids per couple or they’ll have more people dying than people being born. Let’s just presume it’s because of this because if it’s because of some tradition stuff I’ll scream, okay?

Maybe they have a low life expectancy in Gavaldon (which is another evidence for the case that the elders are part of the clergy, they probably don’t work, so they live longer).

So have them teenage girls poping them babies, I guess.

Also, a miracle they have survived this long, because the genetic pool for Gavaldon must be the worst ever, everyone is related to everyone, ew. At least, in theory, there would be no STIs.

In theory.

Ahem… During the middle ages, all forms of birth control tended to be frowned upon, at least here on the west, including coitus interruptus (aka, pull out method), (tho it depends of who was the pope at the time, some of them were cool with this one if you already had too many kids and was like super poor), because sex was supposed to be about procreating, so a marriage with no kids was ‘pointless’.

(hear me raging in the background, this context is stressing me out, i just wanna get to the headcanons-)

We can assume this view is probably compatible with the Elders Council mindset, as they are marrying CHILDREN.

If there were any available contraceptive methods, you can bet they weren’t teaching this stuff at school. They probably have no sex ed, and if they do, it’s going to be just about periods and vague stuff. Gotta love them church schools (I never went to one, officially, but honestly, I live in Brazil, what even is Secular State).

(“Don’t have sex before marriage, you’re gonna get pregnant and die��, - one of the teachers at the Galvadon school at some point, I bet)

Let me also mention that there is an specific Gavaldon law that states that if a girl is pregnant she is going to marry the boy who knocked her up. Which, specially in Vanessa’s case, makes no f-ing sense. Could she prove it was Stefan’s? Did she sent it to a DNA lab? If Stefan was the Elders favorite why would they not take his word?

I digress, let’s say Stefan didn’t deny sleeping with her and only said he was under a spell, which, hm, how dumb do you have to be to do that, it’s lying 101, Stefan c’mon, but okay, you do you.

So they are probably super “moral” in Galvadon. You know, the kind of moral who just swipes stuff under the rug. Like, yeah, Stefan you’re now doomed to marrying Vanessa, but ain’t nobody gonna say a thing if you cheat on her as long as you don’t do it during plain daylight.

(The amount of closeted gays in Gavaldon is probably astronomical, can you imagine?)

And then you have Callis. Whom I think is probably responsible for the introduction of birth control in Gavaldon. We have arrived at the headcanons. Hear me out:

After Stefan saved Callis, she was deemed a witch. She’s a ‘witch’ doctor for the town. Only the most desperate of people seek her out.

That means she normally wouldn’t get a lot of patients. Like, Idk about you, but Gavaldon doesn’t seem big enough for her to have people looking for her everyday. And she probably had to feed Agatha somehow.

But, while her being a doctor for normal diseases wasn’t really working all that well, everyone knew she had a hand in Vanessa’s miracle child. So ‘infertile’ women and women who had been getting sickly during pregnancies start looking for her, asking for her to help them.

Callis obviously doesn’t use her magic, but as she can’t say she used magic for Vanessa, she gives them generally good advice about herbs and stuff they can add to their food to make it ‘more likely’, aka stuff that reduces stress, telling them how to eat better, stuff they should avoid, etc. She’s no big expert, but at least in the Endless Woods they had sex ed and she was witch, she just knows stuff.

So she becomes this sort of witch gynecologist for Gavaldon’s desperate women.

It works for a while, but then people eventually share these tips amongst themselves to avoid going to see her. Then, it’s back to slightly starving herself so baby Agatha could eat.

One day, a teenage girl arrives at her doorstep in the middle of the night, trading food for her help. If she could ‘make people more fertile’, she could surely make them miscarriage. Maybe this girl got pregnant by sleeping with someone the elders didn’t aprove for her to marry, maybe it was something else a bit darker, but we won’t talk about how that could be common, given you could literally force someone to marry you if they had your child.

Callis panics, because she wasn't ‘making anyone more fertile’ really, she was making them healthier and therefore more likely to have a healthy kid. If she were to tell her to do the reverse of what she told the others, not only it wouldn’t work, but it would actually harm the girl’s health.

At first she’s like, “I can’t help you…”, but then she hears baby Agatha crying, poor thing, so hungry all the time. So Callis decides, “you know what, might as well”.

There’s probably many potions made with magic one could take to not have a baby in the Woods. Even ones that cause abortions with no side effects or danger to the woman. But there also more natural ways, ones that maybe aren’t 100% effective, but would work, tho it had some side effects.

So Callis, makes her a potion to take. For real life comparisons, let’s say she used Queen Anne’s Lace, which works a bit like Plan B. The girl is thankful, and goes on her way.

Soon enough, everybody knows Callis can do these potions. You have girls sneaking to Graves Hill in the middle of the night to get help in exchange for food and while the elders know something is fishy, they can’t do much anything about it. They ask Callis what is up with that and she’s like ‘nope, just ya know, helping them have babies, plan b who’.

She tries to introduce a variation of the potion, one that acts as birth control, because it would stop people from being irresponsable all the time, but the Plan B one is the one every girl wants, because well, it’s easier. You can be unsafe and then take a potion and it’s fine. Soon, it’s not just girls. There’s full grown women there too, who should really know better.

She is pissed, so she says she won’t make them any more potions unless people stop being so careless.

Someone tries to make a knock-off potion, but it ends tragically, because people don’t really know what Callis puts in it. And well… you know what looks a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace?

F-ing Water Hemlock, that’s what.

After that incident, people listen to Callis when it came to ingesting stuff. And thus, birth control culture is born in Gavaldon. Other people started trying out other things to avoid dealing with Callis, like animal-based condoms, pull-out method and inserting acacia gum into your vagina before you had sex,but she had a good clientele overall.

The Elders? Pissed. But since they couldn’t just prove this was her fault, they just kept on hating on her from a distance.

After Agatha has her first period, Callis sits her down and pretty much gives her the talk. Agatha doesn’t really see a point to it, boys are gross, but she listens nonetheless.

Callis gives Agatha the best sex ed homeclass ever, you can bet she will teach her correct anatomy, debunk myths the school told her about both periods and her own body and even promised her to teach her how to make the birth control potion once she got older.

Again Agatha doesn’t see a point, but okay.

When Agatha comes home with Tedros, years later tho. Callis is... worried.

She tries to ask Agatha if she’s being safe but her daughter just... stops functioning. Blushing like crazy.

(“We just kissed, like, once, mom.”)

That being said… Callis doesn’t live long enough to teach her how to make the potion.

So when Tedros and Agatha’s relationship starts to progress (hm… if you wanna read something about it, maybe wait a couple of days, I might or my might not have a sin fic in the works, it wouldn’t be one of my posts if it had no self-promotion, I’m my own sponsor after all) she’s unsure of who to ask about this.

And it makes her extra sad about her mother’s death, so that’s great.

I honestly don’t know who she would ask. If you have any ideas, please tell me. Because I’m kind of inclined to think that maybe Merlin might have predicted this and handed a recipe to her as a semi-joke, but idk. Maybe Uma?

But yes, Callis was totally Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist. And after they made Stefan mayor, I want people to remember her for the absolute legend she was, okay?

#school for good and evil series #school for good and evil #sge #Callis of Netherwood #Agatha of Woods Beyond #gavaldon

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ghostking-wenning · 5 years ago

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Radishes, Chapter 2

chapter 2 babeyyy let’s party! I promise we’ll get to the actual plot soon lol

2200 words, Rated G, NingXian, modern au, farmer’s market au, gay disaster flirting, romcom? I guess?

Qionglin carefully stacked the produce crates in the trunk of his hatchback. It had been his sister Qing’s when she was in high school, but she passed it on to him when she moved to the city for university. It had been old then, and it was pretty shabby by now, but it got Qionglin from point A to point B, so he wasn’t complaining. He liked it better than the huge, noisy farm truck, anyway. That thing had the turning radius of a steam engine, and when it was cold and wet like today, the brakes made a hideous screeching sound that Qionglin could feel in his teeth. He’d considered driving that old monstrosity today, as he found himself once again laden with radishes. Luckily, through sheer stubbornness and a little clever maneuvering, he managed to fit it all in his car.

The drive to the city was peaceful, if a little boring. But Qionglin liked driving. In the car, he was finally, truly alone. He could sing along to the radio, and laugh aloud at the DJ’s corny jokes without fear of being seen or judged, or worse. When he was in school, he’d been bullied constantly. He had been tall and gangly, all limbs and very little grace; coupled with his stutter, his shyness, and his below-average grades, he was the perfect target. He’d had to learn to keep his head down, keep a straight face, keep quiet to avoid torment. Several years and lots of therapy later, he still struggled to express himself and be open with others, even his family. Slow progress is still progress, he reminded himself.

It had started to rain in earnest by the time he pulled into the market plaza. Working quickly, he pitched the canopy and unloaded the car. He had almost blissfully forgotten about all the radishes, until he was stacking them on the table again. Qionglin had always thought of himself as a patient, tolerant person-- a pushover, his sister would say-- but these radishes were really starting to get on his nerves. At least he could be sure they were the tastiest damn radishes in this whole market.

He finished setting up, and surveyed the rest of the market. Usually more of the vendors were set up by now, but perhaps they’d been delayed by the weather. It looked like it would be a slow day today. He sighed and sat in his folding chair, and watched as the market plaza slowly came to life. Nearly an hour passed before the first customers arrived to mill about the stalls, contemplating heirloom vegetables and artisanal soaps. After a few more hours, Qionglin happily tidied the stack of bills in his cashbox. For all his awkwardness, he had no trouble selling his produce. His vegetables were one of the few things he was proud of, and thus one of the few things he could talk about easily.

But frankly, the produce spoke for itself. He had several regulars already who kept coming back for his peas and cabbages and whatnot. Even the radishes were popular, but they were so large, most people only bought a few at a time. The pile of them loomed quietly beside him. He pointedly avoided looking at them, and instead indulged in a little people-watching between customers. He spotted a teenager wearing a studded jacket and black boots, and was suddenly reminded of the handsome stranger he’d met the week before. Wei Wuxian... It wasn’t the first time he’d thought of that chance encounter in the last few days; he’d made such a fool of himself it was hard to forget. He’d also had trouble forgetting that incredible smile. He did say he was coming again this week… so I guess I can’t have screwed up too bad.

When he took a break for lunch, he texted Qing. Just a quick “Hey how are you?” that she was probably too busy to answer right now. He thought about going to visit her when he was done for the day, but eventually decided against it. Qing didn’t care for surprise visits, she insisted on having a routine.

He and Qing had been inseparable as children. After their parents passed, they were taken in by their grandparents out in the countryside. It had taken them both a long time to adjust, but it had been much harder on Qing. She never quite took to living in the country as well as Qionglin had.

When she graduated high school, she’d considered taking a year off before university, but Qionglin wouldn’t hear of it. He knew she was worried about him, knew she didn’t want to leave him behind, and he didn’t really want her to, either... but he couldn’t stand the thought of her putting her dreams on hold for him. He insisted he didn’t need her to protect him anymore, that her happiness was more important. They had fought about it all summer, but in the end, Qing relented. The day she left for the city, they both cried for hours. It was a bitter memory, but Qionglin chuckled a little thinking about it. It had been one of the first fights he’d ever won. One of the only ones.

He texted Qing again: “Miss you. Call me soon?” She didn’t answer. He would just have to wait until their next scheduled video chat. Qionglin sighed as he put away his lunch box and turned his attention back to the market. He busied himself tidying baskets of potatoes and bundles of herbs. The crowd was thinning now, and the rain was still pouring. Qionglin didn’t mind the rain, but it did sometimes steer his thoughts toward melancholy and a sad kind of wistfulness. He was so used to being on his own that he didn’t register the feeling as loneliness. He sighed again. I should do something fun tonight. Maybe I’ll bake something. That should cheer me up.

“Hey, Farmer Wen!” A cheerful voice shook him from his reverie. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Qionglin jumped. He turned to see Wei Wuxian strolling breezily into his market tent. Oh no, Qionglin thought, as if part of him hadn’t been looking forward to this exact moment for the better part of an hour. Wuxian lowered the hood of his jacket and swept his long hair forward. Today he wore it in a loose braid, revealing a streak of red that Qionglin hadn’t noticed before. His clothes were damp from the rain, but he seemed elegantly unbothered. Somehow, even a worn knit sweater and faded jeans looked like high fashion on him. Oh no.

“Oops,” Wuxian said, stifling a little laugh, “Looks like I startled you this time.”

“H… um, h-- h--” Qionglin cursed himself for getting stuck on the very first word. He shut his eyes and took a breath. It’s fine, don’t panic! Just pick a new word... Wuxian was patient as Qionglin collected himself.

“… Greetings!” He finally said. Great choice, dork.

“How have you been?” Wuxian asked, idly picking up a head of cabbage and turning it over in his hands. He still wore his silver skull ring and woven bracelet, but today he had added several more rings, thinner and daintier than the skull.

“Uh… me? I’ve been fine I guess. S-same as ever. What about you?” He wished he’d had something more to say, but it wasn’t like he got up to much outside of work. Wuxian didn’t seem like he’d be interested in things like tree grafts and crop rotation. Quinglin had hobbies, he supposed; he liked archery and cooking, but he hadn’t had time for archery lately, and cooking was more of a necessity than a hobby. Nothing special.

“Fine, you guess? Huh.” Wuxian mulled over his bland response, eyebrows knitted together slightly like he was dissatisfied somehow. For a moment Qionglin worried he’d press the issue and he’d have to reveal just how boring he was. Thankfully, Wuxian had already moved on.

“I’ve been doing great, myself!” He said, casually circling the table between them. “Had a pretty good week, y’know? Finished a big commission, had dinner with my sister, met someone... interesting.” He glanced sidelong at Qionglin and watched him completely miss the hint. With a sly little smile, he added, “And I’ve got a show coming up, so that’ll be fun.”

“Oh, that all sounds nice... What kind of show are you going to?” Qionglin asked, clueless, but politely interested.

“A rock concert,” Wuxian answered vaguely, picking up a long stick of burdock and twirling it in his fingers.

“Cool!” Qionglin said, sincerely and maybe a little loudly. His anxiety gave way to eager curiosity. “I like music. Haha, of course I do, who doesn’t like music?” He caught himself before he could start rambling. Focus! “Who-- uh, who’s playing?”

“I am.” With a hand on his hip, head held high and an effortlessly confident smirk playing across his lips, he was the very picture of coolness to Qionglin.

“Whoa! Really?” Qionglin’s face lit up. “I should’ve guessed you were a rockstar! Now that I think of it, you totally look like one…” He hadn’t meant to say that last part aloud, but before he could panic about it, Wuxian’s expression melted into a bashful, yet somehow radiant grin. In an instant he’d gone from incredibly cool to unbelievably cute. If Qionglin wasn’t blushing wildly before, he definitely was now. Oh no, he thought again. I’m doomed.

“Wha-- You really think so?” He asked, clearly flustered by the praise. His silvery eyes glittered.

It was too late to take it back, Qionglin had to commit. “Um, well, yeah! With the long hair and the piercing and the stylish clothes and all…” He fidgeted a little, worrying at the hem of his sleeve. Is this… flirting? Am I doing it right?

“Wow, thank you! That’s really sweet of you to say,” Wuxian beamed. “I, uh, I’m afraid I might’ve oversold it already though… My band isn’t exactly famous or anything. We mostly play clubs and stuff. Rockstar might be too strong a word.” He said, self-effacingly.

“S-still! It’s cool that you’re in a band. What do you play?” Qionglin asked, still gazing admiringly.

“I’m the lead singer, but I also play guitar and sometimes keyboard. I play flute too, but that’s not very punk-rock, you know?” Wuxian laughed. “Do you play anything? Or sing?”

Qionglin laughed too, a little bitterly. “Only when I’m alone in the car. I think I’d die of embarrassment if anyone ever heard me… I uh, tried to learn violin when I was in school, but I was terrible. I couldn’t get the hang of sheet music either. I can’t even imagine being on a stage...” He shuffled his feet on the ground, and finally managed to tear his eyes away from Wuxian. He remembered how frustrating music had been, how the notes and lines seemed to swim across the page, jumbling into meaningless noise. They might as well have been hieroglyphs, for all the sense they made to him. Thinking about it too hard would give him a headache.

“Hmm,” Wei Wuxian said, pulling Qionglin back into the present. He didn’t say anything for a while, just looked at Qionglin appraisingly. “Well, you’re definitely handsome enough to be on stage. Might look better with your hair up though, so people can see your cute face.” He fished around in his pockets for a minute, totally oblivious to Qionglin’s thunderstruck expression. “Ah!” He said at last. “Here.” He offered Qionglin a red hair tie.

Qionglin could only stare, still trying to process what he’d just heard. Suddenly, it dawned on him that he might’ve been the interesting someone Wuxian had mentioned meeting. After what felt like several whole minutes, he took the hair tie, and tried to ignore the quiet frisson he felt as their fingers just barely brushed together. His internal monologue was reduced to incoherent screaming.

“Thank you…” he finally forced out. “I don’t think… anyone’s ever called me uh, that before…” he mused. Clumsily, he gathered the top layer of his hair back into a short half-ponytail. “Um… H-- how’s that?” His voice was so quiet he barely heard himself. Or maybe it was just drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in his ears.

“Well, I can’t tell when you look at the ground like that!” Wuxian chuckled. Qionglin looked up at him, but couldn’t meet his eyes. He opted to focus on his silver piercing instead, then panicked when his eyes wandered to Wuxian’s lips. He dropped his gaze to the collar of his jacket. Wuxian examined him for another drawn-out moment. Qionglin briefly wondered if anyone had ever actually died of embarrassment or if he’d be the first. He nibbled on his lower lip, trying to think of what to say next, but his head was full of static.

Thankfully he didn’t have to think too hard. “Hm, yep. Much better. Red’s a good color on you.” Wuxian said decisively. He finally looked away, and even he looked a little sheepish now. “I uh… guess I should actually do my shopping now, huh?” He cleared his throat and turned to look through the vegetables.

“Mn…” Qionglin answered. He shuffled back behind his counter and sat, still a little dazed. A couple minutes later, Wuxian plunked his picks on the counter. He paid and tucked his veggies into his backpack, the silence stretching between them.

Under the table, Qionglin clenched his fists on his lap. Just go for it! Say something! Taking a deep breath to strengthen his resolve, Qionglin looked back up at him, green eyes meeting silver. He could swear Wuxian was blushing too. “S-see you next week?”

Wuxian’s smile felt like a sunrise. “Yeah!” He said. “Absolutely.”

#mdzs fic #my writing #wen ning #ningxian #modern au #farmer's market au #my art #mai luobo!#wei wuxian

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