#might be on tumblr somewhere but ive never seen it

[eamour]

Its actually so comforting to know that you’re also an ex-muslim, I’ve never seen another one of us on loa tumblr so when I read your post about it I was just so happy that I can finally relate to someone. I remember when I was a Muslim when I first started doubting things was when my dad bought me a english translation of the Quran. When I read about the homophobic and misogynistic stuff written in there i was super frustrated but at the same time I didn’t want to leave Islam as Ive been indoctrinated since I was younger so I was trying to find proof online that Islam wasn’t actually misogynistic and homophobic. I’m glad I know longer believe in it though because it felt like I was mentally in a cage trying to convince myself that Islam didn’t hate women when it clearly did. I also really dislike it when Muslims act like their religion is feminist like its actually so frustrating, those people have probably never read the quran translated into a language they understand yet they claim that their religion is feminist and supports women. Also this might be a reach but I genuinely think a lot of the worlds problems stem from religion and a lot of the reason why so many old problems are still here is because of religion, I feel like if it wasn’t for religion a lot less people would be homophobic and sexist.

Im so sorry for ranting I just really wanted to say this somewhere as there isn’t really another place for me to say this.

first of all… this message made me so happy, genuinely happy… the way you can relate to me, i can — even if it’s just in a few aspects — relate to you as well.

i‘m shocked at how similar our experiences were. personally, i have never fully believed in religion and couldn’t make sense of it, especially when it came to the misogynistic and sexist parts…

i wanted to say this again if it wasn’t clear: on my blog, you can feel free to talk about such topics, no matter how "insensitive" they might come across! i don’t want to limit my blog to only talking about "how" to manifest, but also get to know the people in this community and the experiences they have made individually. 🥹💗

i can tell you, you are not the only one who has gone through this. i‘m sure many people (including me) can relate to you! ♡

[gladosluver]

storytime/lore: i was followed home

IMPORTANT INFO: my region has no sidewalks, so to get home everyday i cross the roadway (legally) and 100% do not trespass at all. if i had a car to drive, i would, and if i could take the bus, i would, but public transport doesnt pass through this part. IF YOU HAVE A CAR, YOU ARE USING IT. THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULD BE WALKING AROUND WHERE I LIVE.

okay onto the story now... my school is in another region so a bus brings me from there to another school, and i walk from that school to my house (about 10 min walk). today while going home i was waiting to cross the VERY BUSY street, and i see an all black LARGE VAN stop 40-50m away from where i was and this guy, also dressed in all black, steps out. and he started walking MY direction

(artist rendition below. thats my ugly persona btw i dont look that nice. those are also my beautiful eyes <3 sorry for staring into them without permission.........)

now like.. thats so weird. SO WEIRD. theres no reason you should be walking when YOU HAVE A CAR. ive lived here for at least 7 years and i have only seen someone walk on this road ONCE.

since i wait right next to the road im 1-2m away from oncoming traffic. its dangerous. now im waiting for all the cars to pass so i can (legally) cross the street, and at this point this random guy is like 20m away. luckily all the cars passed and i (legally) ran fast as hell across. i walked about 3 blocks before turning around and HES STILL FUCKING THERE. WALKING ON THE OTHER SIDE. PICKING UP THE PACE AND LOOKING AT ME.

this was in BROAD DAYLIGHT. additionally there was an event going on IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL where LAW ENFORCEMENT came over to educate the kids and was showing them different police cars, fire trucks, etc. WHY ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW ME WHEN THE POLICE ARE RIGHT THERE??

so i texted my friends. i have 2 irl friends i talk to outside of school. ive got like 5 irl friends in total so there wasnt really anyone else i could cry for help to, since my parents are at work for most of the day and night, and i have almost no living relatives here

about 4 blocks from my house i pass an intersection that goes into another neighbourhood where there was a someone in a car waiting for their kid to be dropped off. i speed-walked 3 blocks down and when i turned around there was ANOTHER RANDOM ASS GUY at the intersection looking in my direction. he looked like he was being yelled at by the guy in the car (i guess he suspected he was following me). the intersection is also at the top of a hill with some trees in the way, so when he looked away I RAN FAST AS HELL ACROSS THE ROAD.

i didnt even care that there were 6 cars coming from either side. i just thought "if i get hit, i get hit. if its my time to go then so be it" but halfway through i remembered something. you wanna know what i fucking remembered? what made me break out into a SPRINT? i have undiagnosed health problems that make walking up STAIRS a challenge, and i you wanna know why i started SPRINTING AS FAST AS I COULD? i remembered that stupid danganronpa dub. i thought of how disappointed everyone would be if i literally got kidnapped and never got to finish it. so i ran. i ran home. i got inside, shaking and panting heavily, which didnt stop for hours, but at least i was safe. at least i could finish it. my true purpose....... dubganronpa...

the reason i took to tumblr was because i literally had nobody else to tell. again, i know like. 5 people. i worded this post so cryptically because i didnt want anyone to be concerned if i just blurted out "SOMEONES FOLLOWING ME I THINK THEY MIGHT KIDNAP ME" so i said it discreetly and kinda goofy so yall would KNOW something was up, but in a half-serious half-joking way cuz thats how i cope with awful strange events in my life

it left me with so many questions.. why would you stop next to a busy road to walk somewhere when you have a car CLEARLY available? theres people who like <1 minute away from the school who use cars because walking is so dangerous. the only reason i walk is because I LITERALLY HAVE NO OTHER OPTION. walking anywhere in my region is BEYOND a last resort. hell, ive contemplated driving illegally before i decided on walking home.

i cant even think of anything i did wrong to get followed by some strangers. to my knowledge, i havent done anything to piss anyone off since first year. why me? what do I have that YOU want.. i just dub danganronpa anime and give it more homoerotic undertones.. is that really a crime?

now that im thinking back on the incident i realize i did have a few certain long sharp objects in my bag that i cannot name here (for self defense and also art supplies) AND MY BAG WEIGHTS ALMOST 3 KILOS?? IF I WHIPPED THAT AROUND AND HIT SOMEONE I THINK IT WOULD DO SOME DAMAGE

anyways im safe. for now. this weekend is going to be spent emailing my school asking them to make a bus stop at my house since the bus literally PASSES my house on the way to the school. i dont live in a neighbourhood, i live on the side of the road. its right there. why cant they drop me off man

GLADOSLUVER OUT

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Well, you don't just feel like I enjoy your writing for your style and not only the character, that is very much what is actually going on. I never asked to be put on any tag list bc I have notifs turned on for everything you post anyway and therefore am informed that new writing from you has dropped without need for a tag. You are actually the only tumblr writer I do this with. Because sure yea I will occasionally go into the tags of specific xcharacters when the mood strikes me, which is how I found your blog in the first place, but I rarely click through into the authors' blog, let alone read their fics for characters I'm unfamiliar with. Your style of writing, your imagination for scenes, your ability to capture emotion, your consistent ability to steer clear of tropes that make me cringe and the more generalised personal touch you bring to your writing have all enchanted me and are the reason why I keep reading all your work, even if I've never heard of the character before and in some cases have never even heard of the fandom altogether before, + even if the reader character is the sub and therefore I have 0 interest in identifying with them lol. Maybe I wasn't clear enough about this before but yea your style is very much the thing for me here. (well okay possibly I also one more motivating factor to keep notifs turned on from you which is I kinda hope you might one day do something with the prompt or the character match-up request I sent you, but dw I'm in no rush and uninclined to leave either way) - 🌒

uh, excuse me- how did this get lost? when was this submitted? im? hello? i am so sorry that i haven't gotten to this before- i genuinely did not know this ask existed.

the fact that there are at least one of you out there (theres at least one more, ive seen it in their tags when they reblog) who read everything i post bc they have notifs on is insane (in a good way). enjoying my writing enough to read everything is so,,, its such a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest. its how you know people really actually enjoy your writing for the simple credit of your writing and not just because you write for a character they like-

im also very glad to hear that im able to steer clear of cringe for you. im not sure how thats possible but i sure am glad i can hahaha. i think i just avoid what makes me cringe for the most part.

im also sorry i havent gotten to your requests yet. theyre buried in my inbox somewhere. atm ive been very burnt out and stressed with work so ive not had any motivation really to touch my blog. i will attempt to find them and start on at least one thing for you this weekend. im working on it though! i have a couple wips too, so, eyes peeled!

but yes, thank you so so so so so much for this ask <3 you've really made my day and i am so grateful to have you as one of my beloved readers <3 <3 <3

[saltyr3mix]

No longer a void

Poem by Me! written in less than 30 minutes because i was sad. i thought tumblr might appreciate it so here!!!!

I say i love you

And at some point i think i did

I cherished your smile

Memorized your intrests

Laughed at your jokes

Teased your brain

Echoed your dreams

And held you close with a passion 

There was a point where you meant the world to me

The center of my solar system

Thats a good metaphor, let me expand it

My entire life ive been warped into diffrent galaxies 

And grown to find joy and beatuy in all of them

Which is why it hurts

You see id speand years and years 

appraciteing and gathering stars

Finding peace and comfort in these systems

And then ill blink and out of my control im somewhere entirely new

And i’ll enjoy it

But always find myself comparing it to the others

Their differences and similarities were intriguing

From the day i first saw you i could tell you were diffrent than the other stars

No you were barly a star at all

You were a sun

The first thing you did was scare of stars that were close enough to harm me

I thanked you

Your warmth was something i never felt before

It was nice compared to the slight chilli had grown used to

I didnt explore much else of that galxy after that

You were far more interesting than whatever it could possibly offer me

It felt you understtood me

And that you were the only things that did

I thought you were another form of life

You protected me and gave me things

I loved you

And then like the 4 times its happend in the past

I blink and awake to a whole new galaxy

Only its diffrent than the others

It’s made of nothing

Just a dark endless cold void that swallows me whole

Not knowing what to do i call out 

I shout and scream hoping someone would hear me

Pleading for someone to realize how lost and afraid i was

No one came

Until i softly muttered your name

And nearly blinding me you flashed before my eyes

Lighting up the void with a fiery spark

And filling my bones with your comforting heat

You were there for me in my darkest moments

Im still not sure how but you were

I felt so small and alone and terrified of everything

But you were there

I clung to you because i didn't want to lose you again

I didn't want to lose anything again

And it was like that

For a long time

Just you and me against the world

We used to say that a lot back then didnt we?

I think

I think you were in a void of sorts too

I think at this time too, us?

We were the only things in the world

Years went by all in a blur

Our relationship grew and grew

It felt like you mattered to me more than myself most days

I think we both shared that thought

And it was just us

But the world is never that small is it?

Things are happening and changing all the time

And so other small stars started to twinkle in the disstance

It was hard to notice them at first but they were there

And then more started to appear

It wasn't fast 

It still took months and years

But they bloomed

And they didnt stop ethier 

More and more kept coming

It felt like the more that showed up the more that followed

Including other suns

Suns that lighted up the area around them

Suns that produced warmth that stuck my core

I no longer feel cold

I can barely see the void

And so i stooped clinging to you

Im not sure if i regret that or not

I got lost in the new array of stars

Appaciting them diffrently than i used to

It took some time but i started going back to my old habits

But the time i got back to you

Next to all the stars and suns i had just seen you looked so dim

It hurts becuase i know you arent

I know that there was a time that in my eyes 

you shone brighter than whatever this system thinks it is

But thats because you were in-front of a void backdrop

I loved you because you saved me

I loved the warmth that you brought

I loved you becasue at the time i couldnt find anywhere else to put my love

But now?

I have a whole healthy support system behind me

I have hobbies and interests and clubs and fandoms

And writeing!  

And so so so many wonderful family and friends

And i have so much love to give to all of them

That i cant love you like i used to

I’ll write you poems and songs

But wont send you the videos of me recording them

I’ll listen to your stories 

but never check out the source material like you ask

I’ll love you

But i cant cling to you anymore

And i kind of hate that

I want so badly to pay you back for all you for me

I want to love and cherish you like you the only thing in the world

But your not anymore

[crimzoncrow]

haha vent post moment yayyy

hopefully that worked idk how to put cuts on tumblr

im not in a super great spot rn . just generally . and i know that it’s lead me to not talk to some of my friends as much and i know that it’s caused a lot of problems . i know it has ive recognized it and i tried to fix them but it didn’t work and i know it’s at least not ENTIRELY my fault but . my best friend, who ive been best friends with for almost eight years, basically just did the best friend equivalent of breaking up with me . and the worst part is that i totally understand why and i get the feeling that they’ve been talking about this with their other friends who i was also close with but like i met them because they were their friends so i know that ive basically lost them too . and i know that even though i don’t think i did anything too bad, anything not understandable, i know how they talk about the people that’vehurt them and im already so fucking sick that ive accidentally hurt them at all and all i can think of is how they mustve been talking about me behind closed doors and i just don’t know what to do because the only people i had that i could talk to about stuff like this was them

and it’s even worse because we were each other’s ride or dies, at least i thought. i think we genuinely were at least for a bit . and i don’t know if we were but my being messed up fucked it up or if maybe it was just fading over time because i know that they met other people and got closer with them than they were with me and i get that im not mad that they had closer friends it’s just they were still MY ride or die . and they’re not even being mean about it im just Aware that this is my fault . fuck, i can even trace us growing apart as being my fault too i was the one who kept being distant

i can’t help but feel paranoid that somehow they’ll see this or something, even though ive never told them about this account . i feel like theyll see it and itll go in that group chat that im not in (that im not upset im not in i don’t care that im not in Every Group Chat they’re in it’s just i don’t know if they’re talking about me or how they are and i don’t even know if they are i might just be focusihg on myself too much) and thentheyll talk about how im terrible and that this just proves all my problems even though i know that im not as bad as the people ive seen them actually do that to

i don’t know what to do anymore i don’t without them and their friends i think i have two fucking people that i sort of regularly talk to . and i know it’s on me to deal with my shit and i can’t push that onto others but my life is just fucking weird right now and now i don’t have anyone to talk to about it because this is really a fucking lot to just drop on one of those two firneds. i might delete this i don’t know this feels too personal to put oh my tumblr of all places especially when my tumblr is at least kinda fandom focused but i just needed to get it out somewhere

i can only hope that thingsll get better adn maybe they will but this is so fresh that i just feel like shit about it and there’s nothing i can do about it and it just sucks

idk how tumblr etiquette works with ventijg but idc how people respond to this i just . needed to say Something about it somwhere

im so tired

[daedalusdavinci]

for your recs: got any DC rarepairs you have recs for? platonic teamups also work, i just like seeing new and interesting combinations.

oh thats such a good question. i definitely dont read as many rarepairs for dc, so its usually like an author i like writes something or im recommended something and it goes kinda hard. for hs i could list about a million, but let me take a look

A Hummingbird Suspended

by poisonivory (@pluckyredhead on tumblr)

When Thad escapes from the Speed Force, there's only one thing on his mind: killing Bart Allen and the rest of the Flash family, and destroying the Allen line forever. But teaming up with his old ally Match proves…complicated. And distracting. And makes Thad wonder if there might be more to life than being a weapon for a family he never knew.

thad/match, obviously. now, i have never read a comic with thad OR match. BUT, poisonivory's writing is so goddamn good i was compelled to read this anyway. their dynamic is so fun and OFC its beautifully written, and honestly im just a sucker for like. evil clones or copies learning to live lives for themselves and define themselves apart from the people they were made to be.

Polarity

by darkpurpledawn (@purpledawn on tumblr)

You’d think by now that when Bruce Wayne throws a gala, he’d do it somewhere without a large glass roof overhead.

you know ive gotta recommend the one tommy/2f fic that isnt written by me. this is the one. this is the fic that got me thinking. you may have already seen my rant about this ship, and this fic is really what planted the bug in my brain. the potential that lingers in this fic is so tantalizing, it just. ugh. trust me, ok, just trust me. it may be the only one but its also the only one that matters

aside from those two tho, i dont think anything i read for dc counts as a rarepair? or if it does, its definitely something i found on an authors page and knew zero things about that character but read anyway (like poisonivory. i read just about everything they write just cuz its fun to read and not bc i understand whats happening). but i dont know anything abt the characters so i cant say for sure its even a rarepair lol

[morp]

how do i find people to roleplay with?

Truthfully, for me, I've found my rp buddies through shared fandom spaces and asking if thats something they wanna do, but like, after becoming friends ya know? Will admit that theyre all ooold friends tho; like, ~5 years of knowing each other type friends. Amino young teenager era type shit

Tumblr I've not really seen as a spot to connect in 1-on-1 roleplay stuff beyond, yk, rp blogs (and they arent usually 1-on-1), unless you explicitly broadcast that you're open to roleplay somewhere on your blog

I have occasionally seen casting calls (is that what you call it?) circle around here where people advertise their roleplay servers for like, specific themes and fandoms and such. Ive seen a few cool warrior c/ats ones like that (though i've never joined any i admit. Im personally more fond of 1-on-1 roleplays than group ones) so if thats your style its def worth trying to search around!

Tldr of All That, basically, is that social networking and searching about is your friend for this. Doesnt hurt to ask friends ya have too, if you think they're interested in that or might be interested in that

Getting down what you might want to rp before you dive in w someone is important too—you looking for something silly? A one-off? Something in-depth that may span months to years? Intense worldbuilding? A pre-plotted experience or make it up as you go? Etc etc

I will say that shared fandom isnt a requirement also!, one of my friends does rp where its cross-fandom type stuff and its very very interesting!

And it's pretty important to know sometimes stuff just wont work out. Sometimes rp styles clash, and such things. Trying out LARPing or DND type game sessions may be more up your alley than the type of text-based roleplay im assuming you mean. (Another of my friends does LARPing and it seems fun ^^). LARPing does rely on having a group irl who you can do it with though, so depending on yr situation that may not be as feasible

(EDIT: LARPing friend has added more info in the comments abt LARPs specifically!)

Hope this helps somewhat! Sorry for chatting yr ears off with this one ^^"

[getris]

I've heard some people use tumblr as a way of venting or letting things out, i guess those are the same thing and i figured ill give this a try.

This will mostly be me venting to myself about things to do with my life starting with my grandad, and id like to stay anonymous so i wont mention his name.

But on may 28th 2023 i lost my grandad, so about 6 months ago now, ive delt with mental health issues for the majority of my life, idk if thats due to a cocktail of family issues, medication my mother was taking when she was pregnant with me or if theres just something not quite right in my head.

Ive delt with major trust issues, self confidence and self image issues, physical and emotional abuse from both parents and emotional abuse and manipulation from an ex partner but never in my life has anything come quite as close to the level of mind twisting torment that grief has provided; i loved my grandad dearly, out of every member of my dysfunctional family he has consistently been the only safe space, i have never once seen him get angry, swear or even raise his voice unless he was letting out one of his typical hearty chuckles and i think i can safely say that no matter what anyone said he couldnt get angry or judge.

That doesnt mean he is incapable of being firm, he was a fair man and if you did something truly stupid or disappointing he would give you this specific look, one that is still filled with love and compassion but sadness and disappointment and he might throw in a softly spoken "dont do that" (but a little rugged from years of cigars and whiskey during his time in the army), even then his tone was reassuring and it never made you feel challenged but it always got through, i could be screaming at my mother, bright red faced and body full of adrenaline but the moment i caught that look and heard that tone it would all wash away and id feel nothing but regret for what ever was said or done, thats when you know someone is a good person, when they dont need to shout at you, push you or say harsh things, and a simple few calm words immediately diffuse the entire situation.

So naturally me and everyone else in my family were close to him, i have so many fond memories of him, like the time he had this golf cart (he loved golf) and my brother turned it on by accident and sent the thing shooting off down the street as my grandad desperately sprinted after it, or the times he would adamantly try to fix or build things on his own since hes an ex army mechanic and knew better, only to sheepishly realise hes made a mistake and go back to the instructions, he took me to a fishing tournament once and i honestly didnt care at all about the tournament but it was a lovely chance to spend one on one time with him as adults, he even bought me a cider and a beer for himself and that was the first and only chance i got to drink with him, that tournament was even broadcast on TV once so id love to go back and try to find it to see if i can spot me and my grandad in the crowd somewhere.

Theres so much more to the relationship between me and my grandad and im sure ill remember some of it and come back to write more another time, but you can imagine why it felt like my world was shook, i was at a friends house when i first got a call from my brother, he said something along the lines of my grandad had fell over and they took him to hospital, found out that it was potentially cancer but there was no certainty, i cried immediately after that call because to me my grandad was this big, unshakeable ex military man and ive seen him hurt a million times and be unbothered, so to hear that he had collapsed immediately sent waves through my body and i knew something wasnt right.

i spent another few days at my friends house and went home, at that time i was grossly behind with university work (due to mental health issues), and i had finals coming up so i had to force myself back into work, nothing but university and train times and study sessions on my mind because i had to pass, i had to... so i went to my friends house, we study better together and have similar mindsets, so it works out really well when we study and bounce ideas back and forth between each other to get the assignments done, i remember finishing a particularly gruelling study session with her one night when my brother messaged me saying he needs to tell me something but its better if i hear it in person, but i intended to stay at my friends until these assignments and exams were over so i pushed him to message me the update and thats where the regrets started.

My brother told me that my grandad was very sick, it was confirmed to be cancer and the moment i read that i felt physically sick, but my brother reassured me that my grandad was told he had a few years to live, so immediately i wasnt too hurt and i was hell bent that as soon as these exams are over im going to go visit him and once hes out of hospital ill make memories with him, drink with him if possible, anything he wanted.

But thats not how it went, i kept studying and handing in assignments and all i had left was one more exam and thats it im free for the summer and i can go see grandad, but just a day or so before the exam my brother messaged me again saying my grandads health had declined rapidly, he was told months, and then weeks left, so of course i panicked, but i had to do this exam and it was only one more day so surely everythings going to be fine and i can still go see him in the hospital and have a laugh and chat with him.

Exam day comes and i cant get it out of my mind by this point, my family told me they are visiting him that day and asked if i could come but because of visiting hours and my exam hours, i couldnt go but again i told myself "he has weeks left, i can bare one more day and visit him the moment my family goes again", so i went to university, went into that exam room and the entire time i couldnt focus, my university was in the same town that my grandad was in care, so all that was on my mind for that entire two hours was "hes only 30 minutes away, what if he passes while im in here", but the exam time passed painfully slowly but it passed regardless, after the exam i was insanely exhausted and depressed, i hung around with my friend after the exam for an hour or so and then took the train home, turns out timing is a bitch because the moment i got home my parents asked if i was still at uni because they could pick me up on their way to the hospital but i had just got home, the next train would be an hour from then so theres no way i could have visited.

Two days later i was at my mothers birthday when she informed me that my grandad didnt in fact have weeks, he had days left at most and they were going to see him the next day and theres no way im missing anymore chances, so the day comes that we get to go see him, but again something really did not feel right, we got in the car and only a few minutes after picking up my grandmother my aunt (who was at the hospital) said to come quick because he was choking on his own tongue at that point and they expect him to be gone any minute.

Thats the beginning of the heartbreak, seeing my own grandmother in the car talking out loud "just wait (his name) just wait a bit longer please", she was a lot like him, always innocent, always smiling and there she was begging to herself in the car crying, hoping he can just hold on a bit longer for her to be at his side.

We get to the hospital, i watched my nan walk as fast as she could, in pain to get to that room, the moment i walked in it felt like my entire world had ended in that instant, he was no longer my grandad, seeing him in that state felt like my heart had just been ripped out through my chest; he was pale, hairless, almost no muscle left on his body, his skin was a different colour, you could see his heart beating through his chest because his rib cage had twisted and changed shape, he had his eyes and mouth half open and all you could hear was struggled breaths, occasionally interrupted by a weak cough or the sound of him choking on his own tongue, his spine had broken in multiple areas from coughing, thats how frail his body had become.

It was painful, he was clearly suffering and i went through whirlwinds of anger, sadness, anger, sadness... Sad and heart broken seeing such a strong pillar of my world laying there struggling to even exist, and anger that he was allowed to stay in this state, nurses coming in to inject him or feed him medication that would only serve to keep him in this state for a little bit longer, i felt like he was being tortured in the most inhumane way for hours, he couldnt see or hear or speak by that point, just breathe and exist in pain.

Thats when family started talking, gossiping about his state and things he had done during his stay which further broke my heart, remember earlier when i said he had never sworn, never raised his voice and was effectively this gentle giant? Well i overheard my aunt, mother and grandmother talking about how he had been in such pain that he had started threatening the nurses, swearing at and insulting everyone within eyesight, begging both nurses and family to either kill him or take him somewhere where he could do it on his own terms, just typing that out brings a painful lump to my throat because to change such a gentle, loving man into that state must have meant either he was already suffering immensely, or he knew exactly bad it was going to get, it was shock after shock, emotional whiplash.

I stayed in that room for as long as i could which turned out to be 5 hours and 24 minutes, i couldnt bare a moment longer before i stood next to his bed and said my goodbyes, seeing a person you care so deeply about in such a state of suffering, staying in that room for those 5 hours had physically exhausted me, its not that i was just tired of being in the hospital, but i dont think i could have processed another second of that day without rest, so the second i got to my house i passed out in my bed, two hours later my phone was ringing and it was my brother, grandad was gone.

[trollmaniac]

deciding to post this to the tumblr community to comment because this has started to frustrate me to no end.

i have an ex-friend who tried to sabotage me in high school (it failed because surprise! im a nice person who minds their business 99% of the time). she has always tried to get into some kind of singing as a professional career, whether it be songwriting, musicals, whatever. problem is she has no singing talent. because of this, she has decided to use the drag community to flaunt her “singing skills” and get the attention of as many people as possible.

before i delve into why this is an issue, let me explain: she is mentally ill. she did not have a good childhood. parents were also pretty shitty. i have tried confronting her before about this with a little “hey maybe seek therapy and/or meds, im sure all of your friends will support you” and she proceeded to tell me that all of her friends left her (supposedly because of this), tried 1 (one) therapist and found they “didnt help”, are on 3 different meds (????? okay. was this to brag to me or something? cool, i guess), and she wanted to keep this “private” (after posting it to all of her instagram followers to talk about her struggles). i tried messaging again with something along the lines of “therapy takes time and you might not have the right therapist, also all of instagram doesnt make this very private now does it” and i got blocked, of course. because she doesnt listen to any negative comments and instead cuts out those people from her life. sure, whatever, you do you hun.

my issue is this; ive been told she advertises everywhere she can that she is a Cisgender, Heterosexual Woman (cool) who is also a drag queen (not as cool). i would be cool with this if she was an ally, but shes sticking her nose into somewhere she shouldnt. because of the kind and acceptive nature of the drag community (and LGBTQ+ community and general), they took her in and allowed her to perform as a drag queen. her singing is still questionable, but now she’s parading around as what my town likes to think of as their very own LGBTQ+ drag queen icon that they can also flaunt to show our town isnt homophobic or whatever.

i would have no problem with this if she was a drag king! the point of drag is to challenge gender sterotypes, is it not (correct me if im wrong, but be nice about it lol)? but shes just…. putting on some makeup and a wig and saying “okay i can perform here now”. and you know how i said my town thinks she’s pretty neat? whoever organized the pride parade this year had her LEAD THE PARADE. and my nonbinary friend, who had just undergone top surgery, went to the parade of course because why shouldnt they participate in pride? they were damn determined to go lol. so then little miss pageant or whatever strolls up to them and their siblings during the parade and goes “omg hiiiiii do you remember me???” and “thanks so much for coming!!!!” as if it was her parade or something. like no. dont thank anyone who went. this is their parade, not yours. fuck off. but i cant tell her that. no one can, because she’ll remove them from her life. all we’ve been able to do so far is watch and be entertained from afar because she wont take any direct confrontation if it isnt praising her and her “talent”.

anyway yes im angry and yes im posting this, but im not going to tag it because part of me wants it to sink into the void of tumblr and never be seen again. i have a feeling someone is going to go and flip this whole rant to make it look like im a villain or something because i didnt source facts or i misworded something, yada yada, you get it. but if someone reads this and go ���yeah, i agree, what the fuck is up with that?”, then i think that would be pretty neat.

[girlingseason]

this blog isn't like, SECRET secret or anything like I'll post my face if I feel like it and if someone I know stumbles across it who cares etc. but I haven't used insta or twitter since mid-2018 which has been absolutely a net positive in my life and overall beneficial to my artistic mind because the pressure to churn out a high volume of micro content at the cost of quality was poison to my mind. Especially as a girl trying to escape poverty, the hustle culture/meritocracy myth was far too alluring. Work hard, be consistent, above all be SEEN and youll make it. But i wasnt making shit I wanted to "make it" for. I couldnt give myself permission to slow down and surrender to my natural inclination for sculpture - not literal sculpture but it's an image I've carried with me for a long time in regards to my process. I am a slow, careful and detailed creator. The things i really want and need to make take TIME to reveal themselves as I chip away. years. so for that reason and many others, instagram didnt feel like a positive creative outlet for me anymore. The only negative is that i havent had really ANY outlet at all since then, and it has weirdly impacted my motivation. Its so weird tho like?? Instagram made me feel like i had to make too many little things, but without it the little things feel like kind of a waste of energy, and since the big things are taking so fucking long to come to fruition im not getting any sense of accomplishment, or FEELING like a person who makes things. Ive just started to feel the need for a place to put the little things I make on the road to the big things, so there is some witness or at least documentation to confirm that, yes, I am still an artist. I could have started posting on instagram again but I fucking hate the algorithm and ui now and furthermore I remembered the restriction I felt on there knowing there were family, ex friends and god knows who else I knew irl following me, plus feeling like I had to be a ~brand~ always polished and consistent. Tumblr feels fixed yet ephemeral at the same time. I barely expect my posts to even be seen, but it still feels like a solidifying act, just to put something out there. I remembered too what a sanctuary tumblr was for me back in the day. Albeit a radioactive one, but I've never had that level of freedom and semi-anonymity again on the internet. I've never been able to start from scratch and just be whoever I want to be. Or post a poem without worrying whether it's perfect or fits the image I want my artistic persona to have in the future. Or post a photo I took just because it's beautiful or evokes something within me, without worrying whether it's interrupting the aesthetic of a grid. Maybe even post some music !! I want a place to stretch my legs, share things just because I made them and someone might just like it, without a single thought towards gaining followers or earning money (as much as I'd love the money!!!!! I'm liberating my art from capitalism as much as humanly possible cos it's fucking miserable otherwise!!!!!!!!). cos that's the other thing, I've gotten SO out of practice at sharing!! I don't share ANYTHING I make with ANYONE anymore and it's killing my slowly. I don't create just to express something and move on, I create because I want to connect with people. I've got such bad fucking posting paralysis ESPECIALLY if it's anything I've made. So I'm hoping this will help me get over that. Maybe feeling a little too hopeful about this considering life truly fucking sucks right now but I do currently have a hunger for creation though I don't quite know how to direct it, I'll try my best to guide it somewhere good.

[sundanceritz]

Key the Metal Idol official art

[purplelupins]

Sweet Dreams

|The Black Phone|

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V

Part VI

Grabber/Albert x fem!reader

Summery: Getting away from her life as a human punching bag took her somewhere she never could have imagined. But it seemed that even a basement with a masked man watching her could become home.

Warnings: depictions of physical and verbal abuse, manipulation, pet names, power imbalance, sexual tension, mild swearing, mentions of medical trauma, nsfw

Note: PLEASE READ

This is a nsfw DARK story so if you are a minor DO NOT ENGAGE. If you are offended or triggered by the mentioned material, DO NOT ENGAGE. Simple as that. Please note that I do not condone what the Grabber has done in cannon, and I am only using him as a character in my story. If you message me with negativity or harassment, I will not respond. This is Tumblr, not Twitter. Please block the Grabber x reader tag if you are disgusted.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Silence was the first thing she noticed when she awoke. Complete and utter silence.

Y/n’s eyes cracked open, expecting sunlight to be blasting in through her window, and a pulsing headache to match her new lashings, but when she opened her eyes, she was met with none of those. Instead, what greeted her was a bare, concrete room filled with a soft natural light. As she sat up slowly, she noticed the mattress she laid on- it was old and had a strange smell to it.

In her groggy state, there were less alarms going off in her head than there should have been. While she should have been panicking, and screaming for help, she found a gratefulness in her chest; even if she was in a prison, at least she was away from him and his home-made hell.

A few minutes passed, as she took inventory of the room when the sound of the heavy door she had seen across from the mattress was being unlocked. She watched as it swung open, and she braced for the worst possibilities that might await outside.

But then, a man took a step inside. He must have been close to 6 feet tall, and she could see his hair that met his shoulders- it was starting to grey. The longer she stared, her memory of the previous night, while hazy, began to return to her. She remembered the running, then the man she ran into and his dog and how he helped her. How safe he had made her feel. The a sweetness in her mouth…then darkness.

She assumed this was the very same man who had taken pity on her, judging by his build; it was all she had to go on, as his face was covered by a grey, devil-like mask with two horns and no mouth.

“Sleep well?” Came his cheery voice from behind his mask. She noticed then that he held a tray of food in his hands.

Y/n blinked a few times until his words actually registered in her mind. “I did…” she whispered, and found that her voice was a little rough. “…what happened?” She asked as he walked up to the bed.

“You passed out…I brought you down here to keep you safe.” Came his voice again- it was so light and calm. He placed the tray of food beside her and knelt down in front of her. She tensed up slightly at his proximity, and he seemed to notice.

The man chuckled and shook his head, “I’m not going to hurt you, y/n…I made you some breakfast.” He nodded to the tray.

She gazed at him curiously, then down to the tray, which she picked up and set on her lap. “Thank you…How do you know my name?”

He looked up at her from his crouching stance and patiently replied, “Your dad was screaming it pretty loudly last night.”

She nodded, still not remembering everything.

“W-why are you wearing a mask?" She asked curiously. Any fear she had felt was dissipated quickly the longer he spoke. Sure he was odd, but his reasonings seemed sound.

The man cocked his head to the side as he thought.

“Well…it seems that your dad is a violent man…and if you go back to him and snitch on me for helping you, I would rather not get picked out of a line up at the police station.” His cheery voice grew a little irritated towards the end.

Her eyes widened when she realised he might think she might try and get him sent away for saving her. Did he really think she was so cruel? Y/n shook her head, “Why would…why would I go back? Yo-you’re not going to tell him I’m here are you?” Her heart rate picked up as she imagined this man getting annoyed by her and marching her right back to her father.

He shook his head, and placed a reassuring hand on her knee.

“Of course not, little one.” His voice became calm again.

A few tears formed in her eyes out of fear of seeing that man again; she could barely call him her father.

“Please…I won’t tell a soul even if I leave here…you saved me. I can’t just rat out the person who saved me. I would never do that.” She hoped he understood just how much this meant to her, and to her relief, he nodded.

“Good.” He said and tapped her knee and he stood.

“Am I in your basement?” She asked, looking around.

“Yes…does that scare you?” He asked almost hopefully as he took a seat beside her.

She shook her head again. “This is probably the best place for me right now. Don’t want any nosy neighbours peeking through the windows…” she mused to herself, but he found himself liking her already. “What…what can I call you?” The young woman asked after a moment of eating the food he had given her.

He seemed to think on that for a moment. “My name doesn’t matter.” Came his gentle voice.

She looked at him, then back to her eggs.

“I’ll just call you mister, then…” she murmured half to herself.

“Eat up.” He said lightly. His encouragement was almost endearing to her, having had little to none for nearly a decade…or perhaps more. Her eyes flickered back to where his must be behind the darkness of the mask, and she smiled before returning to her eggs and coffee.

She sighed and shook her head. “You’re really too sweet…I don’t-“ she trailed off.

“What?” He prompted her curiously.

“I don’t deserve this kindness. You’re really looking out for me and you really don’t have to.” Y/n’s face was melancholy and pained.

I don’t deserve this��

But the man barely flinched, and continued his narrative, “Like I said…I couldn’t just leave a pretty girl alone and scared. Now eat. I’ll wait until you’re done.” His voice was like a kiss on the head, and she couldn’t hide how warm her cheeks got from the kindness.

She ate and drank greedily, and if she could have seen his face, she would have seeen the small smile on his lips as he watched her.

They usually didn’t eat much, if at all.

They didn’t say thank you.

They didn’t say nice things.

This one is different.

She came to me.

“Did you like it?” He asked softly, a juxtaposition to his demonic mask.

“I did. Can’t say anyone has cooked for me in…at least ten years…. Maybe more.” She mused with a humourless laugh, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

“How old are you?” He asked suddenly.

“22. Been trying to…do this for almost 5 years now. I got out of highschool and wanted to go to university but my dad wouldn’t pay for it so I started working to save up but then he liked the extra income and started taking most of my paycheques…I learned after a year to talk to my manager and to get half in cash and half as a cheque so I could save secretly…I work 16 hour days most of the time between a couple jobs in town…babysat for neighbours too.” She was rambling now, but after so long of not having anyone to listen, she couldn’t stop.

“You must have a good amount saved now.” He said in that light tone. Like he was trying to make her feel better.

She looked over at him, and felt her defences harden. “I do. But don’t think I’m going to hand over any of it…I’ll pay you back for whatever you spend on me but that’s it. I need that money-“

His laugh stopped her. “I don’t want your money…your company is enough.”

Y/n smiled sadly. She had heard so many similar promises, but they never ended well.

“You say that now but after a while of having me here I think you’ll start singing a different tune.” She said, her shoulders sinking.

Then, out of the corner of her eye she saw him hold out his pinky, and wait for her to follow the gesture, “I pinky promise I will only accept payment in form of your company from now until the day I die.” He said sincerely. It was true- he was no liar. He simply failed to specify how long he desired her company.

At that, she cracked a true grin.

“I promise I won’t rat you out.” She said, and she thought she saw him stare at her a little more intently.

She wrapped her small finger around his, and almost laughed at how much bigger even his pinky was in comparison to hers. But regardless, she twisted her finger around his and shook it slightly in agreement.

“Thank you again, Mister…” she whispered as he stood to leave.

He turned his head slightly in acknowledgment and continued with the tray to the door before swinging it shut and locking it. Y/n sat there and looked around the bare room. It was indeed a basement, but she wondered if it was once a bunker from the war. She looked at the strange black phone on the wall, and studied it for a moment. It was certainly odd, but she supposed everyone had something strange in their house. Her old one had a light switch that was connected to nothing.

Y/n didn’t know how much time had passed, and she found herself growing tired all over again as the light faded outside. She didn’t even know what time it was. But regardless, she found herself curling up on the mattress and her eyes shut within minutes.

When her eyes opened again, there was little to no light at all inside the basement. But when she did awaken, she noticed a blanket draped over her, and a glass of water and a plate of pasta on the floor beside her. She looked around in hopes of seeing the masked man, but to no avail.

She ate the food and drained the water, and noticed just how itchy she was after staying in the same clothes during the warm day and night. A part of her wanted to try the door and wander up to the main house and ask for a shower, but she didn’t want to push her luck. Instead, she placed the empty tray next to the mattress, and curled back up under her new blanket. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she was asleep within five minutes.

Y/n tossed and turned that night as her dreams twisted from a feeling of safety to her being lost in a minefield with her father chasing after her. Everywhere she stepped, an explosion would go off, and she couldn’t seemed to run no matter what.

She could feel him right behind her, when she suddenly woke up with a start. Her heart was still pounding, and her legs had a strange tingle to them as if she had been tensing them. In her delirium, she missed the man in the shadows watching her.

At first when he had started watching her, she looked serene. So delicate and peaceful, but as he had gazed down at her, her brows had furrowed, and her hands clenched into fists. She whimpered and began to sweat. He had seen how much stress was coursing through her veins. So he gently brushed some hair from her sticky face, and almost leapt back into the darkness when she awoke. He watched her heavy eyes and how they barely opened.

She was adorable.

He found himself almost wanting to scare her awake, just to see what fear looked like on her. Of course he had seen her in complete panic and hysteria, but he didn’t want that. He wanted to know how she would cower from him or beg him for forgiveness.

He wanted to know if she would obey him, or if she would be rebellious and try and leave him. He considered just doing as he wished with her, but something in his gut told him to take his time. She was different. She found him, not the other way around.

Destiny.

For two hours, he sat there.

He liked the way she breathed.

Her sighs.

Her little twitches and when she would turn.

It wasn’t until he noticed the room growing lighter that he realised he needed to leave. He could have happily stayed there until she woke up, but he needed sleep too. He took her empty tray, and he quietly praised her for eating everything. Then, he carried his tired body up the stairs, and took advantage of the few hours left before he had to be awake.

When her dreamed faded into nothingness, and she could start to feel the mattress beneath her, y/n felt the same dull light against her eyelids. A sense of comfort calmed her as she awoke, knowing that she was safe.

She stretched and groaned when her joints popped. When she looked around at the bare room, she found herself feeling at ease. It wasn’t until she sat up and glanced down by the mattress that she noticed the tray missing. To her surprise, her stomach flipped and fluttered at the idea of the man being right next to her when she slept. She wondered if he had watched her.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the heavy door swung open and the very man she had been thinking about strode through the door.

“Good morning bunny!” He chirped. She saw the same tray of eggs and steaming coffee in his hands.

She gave him a small smile, and swung her legs off the bed to sit on the edge. “Good morning, Mister.” Her eyes were glued to him was he walked up to her a little less tentatively than the morning before. Y/n could see him better now that she wasn’t trying to figure out his motives like the day prior, and she decided that he was very handsome; of course she couldn’t see his face, but he was fit, and fairly tall, and held himself well.

“Did you sleep alright?” He asked pleasantly as he placed the food on her lap.

“Yeah…it was okay.” She tried to reassure him. Of course, he knew very well that she had had a terrible dream, but he wanted to see how honest she was going to be with him. A sense of delight began to swell inside him when she made no move to tell the truth.

At first, she poked at the eggs and ate a few bites, but then turned her head up to the man standing just a couple feet from her. “This might be a stilly question…but have you ever experienced something horrible, then had nightmares about it?” She asked slowly. To her, it was such a childish reaction to fear and she hoped he wouldn’t mock her.

The excitement faded, and he tilted his head to the side.

“I have…we all have our demons and some come back in dreams…others come back in anger, and…other urges.” He replied, crouching in front of her and taking a piece of egg; he popped it into her mouth which made her smile. He chose to ignore how her tongue caught the edge of his finger tip.

She nodded and thought. “Sort of…sort of like that Ted Bundy that’s been on the news? I heard he went through a lot as a child- a messed up family I think. And what he did to those woman is horrendous…but I think it’s some kind of a reflection of his upbringing.”

When she looked back up at the older man, he was staring right back at her intently. She realised that she had rambled on, and he probably thought she was bonkers.

“I like you.” He said factually with a tilt of his head.

She couldn’t believe her ears. After a few seconds, she blinked and felt her cheeks heat up.

“You do?” She asked quietly.

He nodded and picked up the last piece of egg and held it to her lips, which she ate obediently, but once again caught his thumb in her mouth. This time it was no accident on his part. Under his mask, his nostrils flared, and his pupils dilated.

She’s different.

She finished her coffee, and thanked him again for his kindness. She could tell he wasn’t completely used to someone complimenting or being thankful towards him; he would stop for a second and absorb her words, savour them.

But while he was odd and perhaps a little isolated, he was sweet.

He took the tray, and disappeared for the rest of the day; she wished he had stayed, just to have someone to talk to aside from herself, but she remembered that he must have some sort of job. For hours she tried to think of what job he had, and what his name might be; how old he was, his family. She made up about seven different lives for him just to pass the time, but at the end, she just wanted to know him, not her imagination.

The light outside her small window faded away until she could barely see the past the mattress. But just as the darkness became unsettling, the industrial lights by the door flickered on, and the heavy door unlocked and opened.

Y/n watched the man enter and smiled gently at him as he was engulfed by the light. His mask had changed to a smiling one, and she had to admit it was a little more comfortable to see. Something about the one without a mouth was unsettling and inhumane.

“Hi Mister.” She chirped, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She could tell by the ever so slight pause that he was caught off guard by her chipper attitude.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” He said positively.

“I suppose so. I haven’t had this much time to myself in a long time…it’s strange but…nice.” She shrugged, “How was your day?” She asked a little shyly. She wasn’t sure if he would be comfortable with her asking him questions like that.

“I was busy.” He said simply, and that was enough for her to know. “I made you some dinner.” He added, holding out the tray.

Y/n smiled and accepted it from him, her fingertips brushing over his. His hand was warm.

“Thank you…” She said. He took a few steps away from her, and she quickly added, “Why don’t you sit with me?If you want you can eat with me…I mean if you haven’t already. You don’t have to, I just don’t want to be rude.”

He seemed to think for a moment; she noticed he did that often. “I ate already. But I’ll sit with you.” The man sat beside her and the dip in the mattress made her lean slightly toward him. He smelled nice.

She swayed as she ate the simple pasta he had made her. “Do you like movies?” The question came out before she could stop it.

“Why do you ask?” Came his muffled voice.

She shrugged, “Can you blame me for being curious about the man who saved me?”

He stared for a moment. “I do. Grew up on ‘em.”He murmured. He seemed to be deep in thought, so she kept talking as she ate.

“Have you ever seen Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein? It’s really funny.” She smiled, remembering watching it during Halloween as a child.

He breathed out a laugh and nodded his head. “I saw that in Theatres when I was a young man.” His voice seemed calm- perhaps it was a good memory.

Young man? How old is he…

“I think I would have peed myself laughing if I had seen it on the big screen.” She laughed at herself, and she turned her head when she heard him joining her.

“You’re funny.” He said.

“I used to be.” She smiled sadly, to which she received an elbow to her ribs. This man was more playful than she thought.

“I just told you you’re funny. You don’t need to listen to anyone else.” His voice was serious all of a sudden and she looked over at him beside her. She could see his eyes under the mask staring right back at her.

His sincerity in such a subject was strange, but appreciated.

“I think I like you too, Mister.” She grinned.

If she had seen his face she would have noticed the slight widening of his eyes and how his mouth hung open ever so slightly.

She hummed happily when she finished her food.He paused at the sound, and looked from her to the empty plate.

“Did you like it?” He asked.

“Yes, thank you. I hope I can cook for you at some point…it must be tiring doing all this just because of some girl.” She said.

“I just make a little more than usual…no trouble.” He said. This was so strange for him- he kept expecting her to laugh in his face or try and leave, but it never came.

“Well, I really appreciate it.” She offered him a small smile, but quickly remembered how itchy she was. It had been two days since having any sort of cleanse for her skin, and with the warm days and nights, she neither smelled like roses, nor felt like one. “If it’s not too much trouble, could I ask a favour?” She started tentatively.

“What is it?” He replied. A serge of excitement coursed through him when she asked- was this her asking if she could leave or make a call?

“Mister…would I be able to use the washroom? I could use a shower…I don’t exactly smell great.” She laughed a little, then added, “I-if that’s alright I mean I don’t want to get you in trouble.” She rambled. For all she knew he had a wife and child upstairs who didn’t even know she was there. This might put him in a difficult position.

He mulled it over in his head, and while he didn’t want to accept, the idea that she might try and escape and he could play with her made him say, “Okay… but I’ll have to lock you in…just in case.” He said the last bit to himself.

She nodded quickly and stood, which almost startled the man. He stood next to her, and picked up the tray in one hand before leading her to the door. At they walked up the stairs, she filed closely behind him like his shadow, not daring to stray too far. Then, as they grew close to the top, she saw his free hand, and felt the urge to grab it.

But she didn’t.

She stayed glued to his side, keeping her eyes on her hands as they came into what must have been the same kitchen he had sat her in after saving her. He placed the tray on the table, and walked in the opposite direction. She almost tripped to keep up with him, and bumped into his back when he came to a stop.

“A-sorry.” She said, managing a glance up at him. He had turned to look at her, and she was once again struck by his blue eyes that now caught the light of the upstairs.

“In here. Don’t take too long.” He murmured and pushed a door open.

She blinked and nodded before disappearing into the small washroom; she jumped a little when he shut the door and heard it lock, she supposed he had his reasons. She still didn’t know if he was hiding her from a significant other or perhaps a roommate.

Instead of dwelling on anything, y/n got to work quickly. She shed herself of her clothes, and ran warm water in the simple shower. As soon as the water hit her skin, she let out a long moan. It felt like she hadn’t felt water in months, and she couldn’t help the feeling of euphoria. The grime and sweat melted away, and she found herself simply standing under the stream to soak in the moment.

After about thirty seconds, she reached back out to her clothes that laid on the floor, and brought them in with her and washed them as thoroughly as she could with shampoo. She had done it before when her father took away her laundry privileges, but it was a pain to wait for them to dry. She supposed she was lucky it was summer and not winter. Y/n grasped a bar of soap and ran it over her skin; she swore the water ran off her body brown and murky. Then she took time to wash her hair.

Once she was finished, she felt like a new person. Then, when she pulled the curtain back, she noticed a clean towel and shirt there on the closed lid of the toilet.

Was that there before or did he come in while I was showering?

A heat warmed her cheeks at the thought; something about him made her flush a little when she thought about him. Perhaps it was because he simply showed her a little basic human decency. She shook her head, and wrapped the towel around herself, and wrung out the washed clothes until no water dripped out any longer. Next, she placed her hair in a low ponytail with a hair tie she still had around her wrist.

As she stared at herself in the mirror she was acutely aware of the discolouration of her cheek due to the nightly slap from her father.

It had not been two days without a beating. It almost felt strange, not that she would wish for it, but it felt odd. This new routine could definitely be something she could get used to.

Y/n slipped the shirt on over herself, and almost laughed at how large it was. Then she folded her clothes in a neat pile, and knocked on the door, “I’m finished.” She murmured.

A second later, the door swung open and the man stared down at her. With her hair out of her face, and all clean, he could finally see her properly with no tears or fear.

She was pretty.

Very pretty.

His heart rate picked up at the sight of her form- so defenceless and trusting.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He said, letting her walk out. She smiled and nodded, coming out behind him, keeping her eyes down. The draft under the shirt was a little too much without her panties, but she barely cared; it wasn’t like he would notice. As they descended back into the basement, she gripped the sleeve of his shirt to keep from tripping, but she didn’t notice how he seemed to turn and look at her little hand in shock as she held onto him. A small smirk spread over his lips.

When she entered the basement, she noticed that there was a sheet covering the bed, and a small pillow in addition to the blanket he had given her. She expected him to leave her as soon as they reached the basement, but to her surprise, he walked to the bed with her. She laid her clothes off the edge of the mattress, and sat down, trying to not flash him. Albert knelt down in front of her and brushed a stray wet hair from her face.

“Sweet dreams Little one.” He murmured. She grinned at him, and watched as he stood and walked away.

“Thank you.” She said to him.

He paused and nodded.

“G-goodnight.” She said one more time. If she was honest, she didn’t want him to go.

And he knew it.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

@lxdyred @ethanhawkestan @honeycovered-bandaids @theroadreader @dogmatic255

[axolotl4days]

Update: I can't stop thinking about this idea so I'm gonna try to write it, bare with me ive never technically written fanfiction, I don't actually know much about the batfam canonically, and I'm new to tumblr so idk how to do italics or colored text, with that out of the way

Hehehe vampires.

It was a regular night of crime in Gotham, a group of criminals were running around the rooftops causing the bats and birds to split up.

This particular group was getting on the batfams nerves because they kept dissapearing by daylight, but not this time. This time the vigilantes kept following after them.

One by one different members would catch the different crooks spread throughout Gotham.

The youngest Robin was currently after the last crook. Who decided to climb higher and higher instead of fleeing, but Robin didn't question it thinking he was backing the crook into a corner.

Everyone could see what was happening on the news, and so everyone saw the moment it all went wrong.

Robin: "Give it up. There's no where left for you to run and the rest of your filth have already been caught, it's the end of the line."

Crook: "That may be so, but if I'm going down your coming down with me"

Before Robin could respond, the Crook had pulled out a gun and shot him in the abdomen, knocking him off the building.

Back at the batcave y/n and Alfred had been waiting for the vigilantes to return, that's when there was a notification on the screen "Breaking news, Robin about to fall to his death"

The duo panicked, immediately tracking where the others were but realizing that no one would be close enough to save him. Until y/n stood up

Y/n: "Alfred I have to go"

Alfred: "No! Master y/n you can't! The sun is rising you know what will happen if you-"

Y/n cuts him off: "He's my little brother! I have to try!"

And before Alfred can stop them, he watches as the vampire brings out their wings and flies out

In their bat form they're much faster than any human, and able to fly directly to their destination

But the sun is reaching through the buildings, burning their skin, but they don't stop

They keep flying until they find the building Robin was seen falling from, and they manage to catch the Robin before he lands in traffic

They hold onto the Robin with all their strength flying upwards so that they can land somewhere safe to assess his injuries

After landing on a nearby rooftop and checking for cameras or media they shift back into their human form

Robin: "w-what the- y/n is that- AH!" Damian, recognizing his older sibling tries to question them but his thoughts are interrupted by the pain from the bullet wound

Y/n: "Don't speak. And Don't move. I don't see an entry hole from the bullet which means it's still in there. And we need to get it out fast."

Y/n explains but before they can do anything they start to burn up, the sun had gone past the little cover they had

Damian: "y/n! You're burning we have to move now!"

Y/n: "No! Any movement might move the bullet even more. It needs to come out." Without any further hesitation y/n reaches down to the wound and feels for the bullet. Holding onto their younger brother, whispering apologies to him, and sobbing as the sun burns them more and more, until eventually, they find the bullet.

Y/n: "I've got it out, now we just need to *hiss*-"

The sun continues to rise, shining more and more on the duo

Damian: "You have to get out of here! You'll die!" Damian cries out, seeing the figure on top of him burning up

Y/n: "And you will too if we don't stop the bleeding! It'll be fine we just have to... have to" and everything goes dark as their body can't handle the pain from the sun any longer, but just before they can turn to ash their body is being shielded

Batman, who after getting Alfreds message on there the duos location was, had immediately rushed over and the others weren't far behind him. After seeing the situation he acts quickly and wraps y/n up in his cloak to shield them from the light. Nightwing was checking on Robin while Red Robin called the batmobile to their location while RedHood was handling the criminal that shot Robin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually everyone had made it back to the cave, where Alfred had set up medical supplies to aid both of the injured, he instructed the others to bandage up the young Robin while he took care of the vampire, since none of the others have ever treated wounds like theirs before.

Dick: "Are they gonna be okay? That's a lot of burns" he asks, after seeing the damage the sun did too his little sibling now that the smoke was gone

Alfred: "The damage from the sun is quite strong, but the young master should be able to heal from it in no time, with enough care and some extra blood"

"Did you know?" A weak voice calls out, the others turn to see Damian practically stareing daggers at the butler

Alfred: "Yes, I've known that the young master had been a vampire, I've been the one to help them hide it."

Jason: "Why. Why would you guys hide something like this, they could have DIED!"

Alfred: "The young master didn't want you to know and I don't blame them." Alfred says, glancing over at Bruce, who seems to have put it together

Jason: "Whats that supposed to mean? Bruce what does that look mean?"

Bruce just sighs: "It happened a long time ago, I didn't know there were others"

Tim, who's spent the last hour looking up any information on vampires as he can: "Holy shit. Bruce you killed Dracula?"

Jason, Dick, and Damian: "You what?!"

Bruce: "Like I said! It was a long time ago! I was still just starting out with this batman thing and well, he was a pretty big threat, so I may have, burnt him to ash with a large sun lamp."

All of the boys are silent, still processing the fact that their npt only is their sibling is a vampire, vampires and count Dracula are actually real, and that Bruce killed Dracula and none of them knew

Alfred: "I'm sure you all see why the young master was hesitant to inform you all of their.. condition now"

Bruce: "How have their been feeding?"

Jason kicks Bruce's shin: "What the hell Bruce! "

Bruce: "This is a valid question, none of us have ever heard anything about a vampire in Gotham, which means y/n has either been starving themselves so they wouldnt hurt anyone or they've been feeding some other way"

Dick, instantly worried about his little sibling: "they- they wouldn't have starved themselves right? Alfred please tell me they haven't been starving themself"

Alfred: "Not to worry Master Dick, the young master hasn't been starving all this time, nor have they been draining the blood of people on the streets. I've been making specialized foods for them, using blood as a key ingredient so that they can get the nutrients they need while also appearing to eat normally. However, due to their current state, in order to heal this, they'll need to start drinking blood on its own. Not to worry, I've got a stock of bloodbags ready for them."

Tim: "So that's why you had so many blood bags, I thought having that many was a bit overkill, we don't loose that much blood"

Jason: "So you really killed Dracula." He says, while stepping between Bruce and y/n's bed as Alfred finishes up the medical aid

Bruce: "Like I said, it was a long time ago. He was turning the villains in Gotham into vampires like him. However, I was able to turn them back. I didn't know there were any other vampires. After the Dracula incident, I did some reasurch, and there haven't been any substantial sightings in years so I didn't think much of it."

Dick: "If that's the case then, how is y/n a vampire?" He asks looking at Alfred

Alfred: "Don't look at me Master Dick, I don't know either, they didn't like to talk about it and I didn't find out until I noticed their concerning lack of appetite. Luckily I was able to figure something out, but...." Alfred hesitates."When they told me they were frightened and made me promise not to tell Master Bruce, or at least not to tell unless the situation absolutely called for it."

The batboys stayed silent. Unsure what to do now. They agreed that they'd handle the topic after y/n woke up, which took longer than any of them expected. Even Damian recovered before y/n did, Alfred assured them that y/n would be alright but that damage from the sun is the most dangerous to a vampire, and that the fact y/n was able to withstand it at all was no short of a miracle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even after he had recovered, Damian stayed by his older siblings' side. He wouldn't admit it, but he felt guilty since they got this hurt saving him.

Tim kept doing research on vampires, but there was a lot of conflicting information, Jason and Bruce had a 'talk' about how Bruce killed Dracula, along with where the sun lamp was now, Dick for some reason, bought a t-shirt that said baby bat on it, and changed his nickname for his younger sibling from little bird to baby bat, along with making jokes about how y/n is the only real bat in the family.

Eventually, y/n finally woke up. Before any of the batfam could ask how they felt Tim immediately started asking questions

Tim: "How long have you been a vampire? Is it only human blood, or does any blood work? Why crosses and stakes? What's up with the garlic thing?? Can you use echolocation like a bat, even in human form? Can you only turn into a bat or can you do other things? What about-"

Bruce: "That's enough Tim."

Damian: "Seriously Drake, they just woke up what is wrong with you"

Dick: "Ignore him, baby bat. How are you feeling?"

Y/n: "... Baby bat???"

Dick: "Well yeah, your a bat not a bird"

Y/n sighs knowing once he has a new nickname he's keeping it: "I'm feeling fine, a bit weird but not in pain, it kinda feels like when after you sit wrong and your leg falls asleep, that feeling when it wakes up but everywhere, other than that I'm fine, and uh, Tim?"

Tim: "Yeah?"

Y/n: "Born a vampire, technically both but humans better, religious superstition, I'm not sure about the stakes, the garlic was a Dracula thing, he had an allergy to the flowers, yes echolocation is great, I've only turned into a bat but I could probably use other powers if I practiced."

Tim, writing everything down: "Awesome, what about-"

Bruce: "Thats enough Tim." Bruce steps in and approaches y/n, noticing and is hurt by the hint of fear in their eyes. "Are you sure your alright? You can be honest with us, no one's going to be mad or hurt you."

Y/n stays silent for a while before they begin to cry: "You really aren't mad? You arent going to lock me away? Or call me a monster"

Bruce winces and y/n's words before leaning over and hugging y/n: "No, I'm not mad, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for not noticing, and for making you so scared you felt the need to hide this from us. It'll be okay, your safe here."

The batboys join the hug and reasure y/n that it's safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I tried lol, like I said in the beginning I've never really done anything like this so it's probably formated weird or out of character but I kept thinking about the prompt lol

I really like vampires and other monsters, there should be more batfam content with vampires and other creatures

If anyone still wants to use the base prompt go ahead it'd be fun to read and see what other people do with it.

Hey writers of Batfam it's me again,

Consider: reader who was adopted but not a vigilante(but still knows their identities) who, ironically is a vampire (but the batfam don't know that yet)

And one day during a mission gone wrong one of the batboys gets in big trouble and is like, about to fall off a really big building

So vamp reader is just like "holy shit my brother-"

And flies out to save him, getting pretty burned by the sun but still alive

So they're taken to the cave to heal, and the fam are like "why didn't you tell us you were a vampire do you know how dangerous that was"

And readers just like

".... I was worried cause Bruce killed Dracula so I thought yall wouldn't be okay with vampires"

And they're all silent, reader is wondering if they are contemplating the vampire thing but one of them just goes

"Bruce killed Dracula?!?!?!"

[whump-a-la-mode]

I’ve had this in my brain for a while now and may eventually write something on it but your welcome to have a crack.

Whumpee is tied to a chair, their blood slowly being drained as whumper is tasked with getting info from them. Over time whumpee feels the effects, it’s up to you to decide if they give the info or not.

I just love the reverse blood transfusion vibes idk

This is such an interesting prompt, and I really hope that you like what I came up with! I might be willing to continue this as well, if there is enough interest. I leaned a bit away from the pure interrogation theme and made this more into a hero villain piece, but I hope you like it nonetheless.

Also Tumblr updated their text editor and I Do Not Like It.

Given the subject matter that this piece entails, reader discretion is advised. There is very very minimal mention of needles, nor is there any mention of the IV being placed, only some minor description of the IV itself. However, there is a great deal of discussion of blood. Please be aware of this.

CW//Blood, childhood bullying, isolation, natural disasters, superhero-typical violence, medical themes, gaslighting, delirious narrator

Whumpee's blood was special.

They'd always been told that. They'd discovered it when they were young, of course, when cuts and scrapes from running and playing magically stitched themselves back together within moments. They'd only heard the word 'powers' in the second grade, when some particularly reckless soccer-playing had resulted in a broken arm and a trip to the hospital. Of course, by the time they arrived, the limb that mended itself together flawlessly.

They'd never wanted to be a superhero. Not many in their position did. Yet, it did not take long for the ostracization to become too great to bear. The only place for a freak, after all, was among those of their own kind.

So, they'd become a hero. Of course, they were never the one dominating headlines. Nothing about Whumpee's powers was flashy, not like Leader, not like the ones that could shoot fire from their hands or fly.

Admittedly, they'd never really minded. Notoriety brought danger. They'd seen several of their own teammates fall, yet, they always stayed standing. It was easy to stay out of the line of fire when they were always on the ground, evacuating civilians, distracting henchmen, letting the real heroes do their work.

No one cared about the littlest member of the bunch. They barely ever made it into the press photographs, even. Sometimes, they were simply hidden behind another hero, too short to be seen. More often, they were off somewhere else, digging injured civilians from building rubble. After all, there was little risk to them entering a collapsing building. Any injuries would be healed by the time they found their target.

For a superhero, they had quite a peaceful life.

Capture wasn't exactly unheard of for those engaged in superheroics. The more important heroes had training for it; what to do in captivity, how to act, how to get help, how to withstand torture.

Not the youngest, though. Why would Whumpee ever need something like that? They were home every night for dinner.

Why would anyone ever want the youngest. Why would anyone ever want-

"It's extremely potent." Whumper spoke, voice echoing through the small room as they ran a hand over Whumpee's arm. They couldn't help but squirm under the touch; Whumper's hands were terribly cold. "But there's only so much we can do with remnants."

Whumpee allowed their wide-eyed gaze to look upwards, gazing upon their tormentor. The stranger wore a mask over their face, gloves over their hands, and a wicked smile in their eyes. Whumpee did not know them, but they certainly knew Whumpee.

They barely remembered the night before. They'd been walking home after a fight downtown. Of course, they usually rode home with their team, but the hospital had needed help with triage. It'd been a late night, and they were ready to curl up in their bed and go to sleep.

Then, there had been headlights, men from the alley, a needle in their neck-

Whumpee had woken up in the chair. It was a faulty imitation of comfort, a dentist's chair leaned back, providing support for their head, their legs, and holding their arms in place on armrests. Of course, the comfort was only surface level, and was mostly dashed by the straps holding tight every part of their body.

An extra restraint, a straight piece of plastic, held their right arm uncomfortably straight, keeping them from twisting away. Their right arm, of course, was notable in another way-- That was where the IV had been placed, a clear tube run red flowing from their vein into a collection vessel nearby.

They tried not to look. It was terribly hard not to look.

How much had been taken already? The tube was thin, but it was solid in its red color, and the vial was already filling up quite a lot...

The very thought made them queasy. Was the pressure behind their eyes from fear or blood loss?

"Obviously, the best way to collect what we need is, well, from the source." Whumper's smile could be inferred, even behind their mask. "But you're not just here for that."

They disappeared for a moment, leaving Whumpee's extremely limited field of view completely. When they returned, they were sitting at Whumpee's side on a wheeled stool, leaning slightly forwards.

"Do you know what your blood can do, Whumpee?"

Whumpee stared up at the ceiling, leather strap digging into their forehead. They could barely see their assailant in their peripheral vision. A bead of sweat rolled from their forehead to their neck, making them shiver.

"It- It heals me." They tried. That was obvious information, right? Anyone with Google or a TV tuned to the news channel could find out Whumpee's power, it wasn't exactly secret.

"It heals you, yes. Do you think that's all it does?"

"I don't-"

"You've saved more lives than you could ever realize, Whumpee."

"What are you talking about?"

Whumper grinned again. Whumpee was getting a terrible sense of vertigo.

"Samantha Walker, 59, a mother with two children." Whumper began. "A delivery worker. Her visit to the Anderson office building was meant to be short. She never even signed in. When the building fell, no one knew to look for her."

Whumpee tried to think back to the Anderson rescue mission, the names. They'd been going off of employee records, who had clocked in for the day. They'd found them all...

"You had left without her. She had been struck in the jugular by sharp debris. She was dying, until she laid down in a patch of your blood.

It healed her. She managed to find help and escaped unscathed.

Did you know about her?"

"N-No."

"What about Dennis Knelson? You searched the whole Washington complex for him, but he was nowhere to be found. You stayed on the search till midnight, but never found anything.

The floor had collapsed beneath him. He'd fallen into the sewer. When the cleanup crews came, they washed some of your blood down the storm drain.

It gave him the strength to get up and escape."

"My-"

"Shelby Arkansas. A search and rescue worker. You must remember her, don't you? You had to crawl into that cave to save her. A single drop of your blood reinflated her collapsed lung. It was a miracle that you found her uninjured, wasn't it?

She was injured. You saved her.

Do you understand, Whumpee? Do you understand how great your gift is?"

"I didn't know, I-"

Whumper reached forward, placing a frigid hand on their shoulder.

"Shh, it's alright. It's a lot to take in, I know.

There was a research study done recently, by Metropolis University. You know what they found? Out of every hero in your team, you have saved the most lives, by an exponential degree."

"Is that- That why you want my blood?" They'd never known, never tried it on another person... "If you'd let me up, I- I'll donate! As much as I can! I didn't know what it could do- I'm sorry!"

Whumper let out a low chuckle as they brushed Whumpee's sweat-soaked bangs from their face.

"Can you tell me how your team treats you, my dear?"

"My... Team? What about my team?"

"How they treat you. Oh, goodness, are you getting delirious already?"

Whumpee wasn't quite sure of the answer to that one. Their vision was getting blurry, but maybe that had something to do with the glaring spotlight shining down on them, or the terrible headache...

"My team... I love my team..."

"Do you?" Whumper wiped away a tear with their thumb. "Do they love you back?"

"Mhm."

"Is that why they let you walk home alone, in the dark?"

"I was out late-"

"And you weren't even on stage at that benefit."

"I-"

"Do you think they're even looking for you?"

Whumpee knew the answer to that one.

No.

Their team would notice their absence the next time they were needed, and not a moment before. After all, they didn't often train, didn't often hang out with the rest. They were a team member, sure, but...

No, no! Their team cared! Whumpee was just shy, that was all. There was nothing wrong with being shy.

"Of course." Whumpee whispered.

"Is that so? There was quite some hesitation, there. Oh, poor little Whumpee. "You spend quite the time at their base, then, don't you?"

"Mhm. I live there..."

Their tongue felt heavy in their mouth. It was so hard to speak...

The light above was getting dimmer.

"Then you can tell us where it is, can't you?"

"Mm... No, it's... It's secret."

"Secret, yeah? Why's that?"

"Can't tell... Might get attack'd..."

"Well, what does it matter if your team gets attacked? With how terribly they treat you, surely it's exactly what they deserve."

Whumpee weakly yanked on their restraints.

They watched the level of blood in the vial climb higher, higher...

"No. They... They're..."

Whumpee barely noticed as drool began to roll down the side of their cheek. Whumper tapped them a few times in the center of their forehead.

"Come on, Whumpee. You know where it is, just tell us. That's all. Then you can have some water, how does some water sound?"

Water sounded amazing; their mouth was dry and terribly cracked. But- But, no! They couldn't...

"Water... Please..."

"Nuh-uh. Not until you tell us. Now, where were you going? Where were you walking home to? Just tell us, Whumpee."

The vial of blood was nearly filled to its top.

Whumpee's eyes fluttered closed.

"Goodnight. Goodnight sleepytime." They slurred.

Whumper laughed, a low, chortling thing.

"Alright, Whumpee." They brushed their hand through their captive's hair. "We'll talk some more when you're feeling better.

You're going to be a lovely addition to our team."

[aziraphales-library]

hi!! your blog is literally a gem, tysm, ive found so many good fics bc of you guys!! i was wondering if you had any recommendations for comedy fics where they expand on the 'heaven and hell are the same building' or 'aziraphale and crowley lowkey work a corporate job'? i have a rec- in mixed company or the corporate retreat of heaven and hell by TheOldAquarian ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/22309822/chapters/53287501 ) thats an absolute banger and id love to see more like it!! :D

Hello and you’re welcome! You might be interested in this post where we recommended some fics featuring paperwork from Heaven and Hell. Here are some more corporate fics...

The Account by Pookaseraph (G)

Heaven forgot to cancel the Corporate AmEx. A Crowley is/was Raphael fic.

I Never Meant to Start a War (I Only Wanted a Piece of Cake) by StainedGlassSpecs (T)

It's several months after Armageddon failed. Heaven is in a state of chaos, Gabriel can't leave well enough alone, and one naive angel decides to sign up as a new field agent on Earth.

Aziraphale and Crowley just wanted to be left alone and attend a wedding. Accidentally kicking off a celestial civil war had not been on the cards ... nor had an infernal uprising, for that matter ... but nothing had ever gone according to their plans (especially not the Ineffable Plan), so why start now?

Field Day by nightbloomingcereus (T)

Welcome to the First Annual Heaven and Hell Field Day! There will be trust falls, a three-legged race, and all manner of corporate-mandated fun and games – what could possibly go wrong?

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan (E)

"All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?"

Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.

"The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."

AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

Improvement Day by Twilightcitysky (E)

The time has come for Improvement Day, Heaven's decennial work retreat. The angels posted to Earth are relieved of their terrestrial assignments and join middle management in attempting to improve organizational operations right across the board. Typical activities include name games, trust falls, client-facing skill role play, and miracle budget workshops. It's loathed by all the Earth operatives- but particularly by Aziraphale, who always finds himself unable to fit in (no matter how many icebreakers there are).

This year, an angel no one quite remembers seeing before is on a mission to befriend Aziraphale, but it seems that the odds are against him. He has to contend with a networking-obsessed Gabriel and an unabashedly flirtatious colleague; Michael thinks he might be the next big thing in parsimonious celestial energy handling; and Sandalphon is sure he's seen him somewhere before. Meanwhile, Aziraphale's angry with him for showing up, the gold paint on his cheeks is flaking, losing a contact lens would mean a quick discorporation at the hands of four dozen angels, and isn't this just the story of Crowley's life?

dearly departed by attheborder (T)

Finally, Aziraphale spoke. “You mean to say— you got us married?”

“Just as a precaution, I never really thought I’d end up discorporated again, it’d been ages, you just don’t get stampedes or assassinations like you used to —”

“You got us married, and you didn’t tell me?”

***

Crowley gets inconveniently discorporated. And it’s not like it’s ever been easy to get a new body, but this time around, things really aren’t looking good. His new innuendo-obsessed lust-demon of a coworker honestly isn’t helping things.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale has a dead body to contend with, and an occult mortician & his very normal daughter to fend off. What lengths will he go to in order to get Crowley back to Earth?

And the one you mentioned...

In Mixed Company, or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell by TheOldAquarian (E)

Every 300 years, Heaven and Hell share a company retreat on Earth during which angels and demons temporarily surrender their celestial powers.

Officially, it’s a time for fostering team unity and better understanding the needs of the client base. It’s definitely not a time for terrorizing the hotel staff with divine/diabolical showdowns, abusing the ethereal expense account, or furiously snogging your hereditary enemy. But when Aziraphale and Crowley are up for promotion, Hell breaks loose and Heaven might just break free.

- Mod D

[puppy-phum]

#10YearPromise - pingxie blabberings

bc i wasn’t able to answer these questions throughout the week (as i’ve been traveling around while being extremely busy), i decided to just collect all of my answers under one post! i never tire talking about pingxie so this was extremely enjoyable ♥ am also practicing some very shameless self promo in this so be prepared!

thank you for @laireshi​ for organizing this event (i take it’s you alone? am not sure, sorry for my laziness) and being amazing in general ^^ i won’t be able to join as i am still very busy and summer is always pure chaos for me, so i can only hope that other ppl have fun! if you are not aware of 10 Year Promise Pingxie Exchange, you can find the original announcement post here. join in if you have the time and inspiration ^^ 

and then to my answers which i will be placing under the cut bc i don’t want to flood anyone’s dash with me going bonkers over these two idiots. enjoy tho if you decide to read this :’D ♥

I. What made you ship pingxie?

Back when I got into Reboot bc of ZYL (as has happened to many ppl probably) and then saw stuff about pingxie once I started going through that drama’s tag on tumblr, my first thought about them was that they had to be a crack ship. The way Reboot portrays them as well as their actors and their huuuge age difference affected this a lot, and I was actually cackling at them bc all their moments in Reboot made me just go “oh, socialist brotherhood at its best” in my head. But then I finished watching Reboot’s 1st season (as the 2nd one wasn’t out yet) and started reading some fics. I learned more about them and the canon storyline. I learned how damn devoted they are to each other, and after that, many moments in Reboot gained new meaning in my eyes. So, I think what made me ship pingxie was a mix of Reboot (especially the hallucination moment where Xiaoge dies and Wu Xie loses it bc that’s my jam as I later on became to notice) and then the amazing fics I dug out during that time. After that the love grew stronger as I watched the other dramas, and these days I’m a lost cause. I feel like I spend most of my awake time thinking about these two and their love. They are amazing. I cry rivers for them.

II. Which pingxie version is your favorite?

After finding pingxie, I fell in love with them properly during TLT2. There is just something about that stage of their relationship for me, the stage where both of them are still very tentative about everything but they have deep down accepted that they’re tied now. Wu Xie is figuring out so many things, coming to terms with being betrayed by his uncle and slowly realizing that something bigger is going on behind the scenes. Meanwhile, Xiaoge is learning how to trust Wu Xie and how to accept that he cannot leave this naïve boy behind. It feels very fragile, and I have so many emotions about TLT2 bc of this. Xiaoge is so soft and feels very multilayered. Wu Xie is still his naïve self but is slowly gaining some sharper edges as he comes to face the cruel world. I like how Cheng Yi and Hou Minghao have portrayed this dynamic. Also, TLT2 is just very extra with all the pingxie scenes, who would be able to resist loving them? So, I have to admit that my favorite pingxie is these two, tho Ultimate Note comes very, very close.

III. What’s your favorite pingxie headcanon?

Headcanons are a bit hard for me as I don’t know enough of the canon. I have not read the novels so most of the story I’ve just patched together from all the bits I’ve read from somewhere (here, on twt, in fics) and through the scenes the dramas have shown me. I feel like the whole world is lowkey made of headcanons for me :’D But hmm, my favorite pingxie headcanon… I’d say there are two and then one bonus bc it’s more a Wu Xie related headcanon than just pingxie. The first one is that the pingxie confession happens after the Bronze Gate. It feels like the only moment when they’re both ready for such a thing. I’d say Xiaoge comes to realize his own feelings a lot earlier and he might tell something to unconscious Wu Xie before leaving for ten years, but he will not actually leave Wu Xie with such a burden. He doesn’t want to ask anything when it sounds like he doesn’t even believe that Wu Xie will be willing to wait for him, and I’d say that for him, his feelings are going to be fine even if Wu Xie never learns about them. He might even wish that Wu Xie never learns about them bc he’s not able to promise much as an immortal and amnesiac being (he outlives Wu Xie, most likely forgets him). For Wu Xie however, I’d say he needs time. He really is way too naïve and I’d say that he needs those ten years to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. I dunno who confesses first after Xiaoge returns but I think that only after that decade their relationship is “mature” enough to hold the weight of a confession (even if I also love to play around with the thought of them getting together during the events of Ultimate Note bc that drama offered many good chances for that). Another headcanon for me is that Xiaoge will find a way to die when Wu Xie does. After learning about them more, I feel like Reboot implies this too. Xiaoge is very accepting of Wu Xie’s death but in the last moments, when he really thinks that this is going to be it for Wu Xie, he hesitates. We see a spark of desperation there, and I’ve come to think that his initial plan, the plan he came up with once he got that call from Wu Xie and knew he would join Wu Xie on his last adventure, was to see this through for Wu Xie’s sake and then leave and die alone. I don’t know how much there would be left for Zhang Qiling after Wu Xie is gone. I feel like this is also what Wu Xie fears. But would he really resent Xiaoge for joining him in death after living such a long and hard life? I’d say no and I’d say that even Pangzi accepts this as one of the most likely outcomes. The bonus one then feels very personal to me. I don’t usually talk about this bc I feel so unsure of even mentioning this but I’ve seen others with similar thoughts so am sharing! I’ve never before gotten any vibes about a character’s sexuality in a drama I’ve watched but Reboot Wu Xie looked at me once in the eye and all I could hear was my brain yelling “asexual”. So, that is just my personal headcanon for Wu Xie. He’s ace and proud of it. He can flirt etc. but sex makes him go naah. He doesn’t need it or want it. He can appreciate beauty and hot ppl without wanting to sleep with them and I think his relationship with Xiaoge fits very well into this. I don’t have any personal experiences with being ace but I feel like Wu Xie has read the name once, shrugged and gone, “guess that’s me” and continued on with his life. He’s badass like that and I love him for it. (take a very relevant meme lol from this post)

IV. What’s the ideal pingxie date?

Ah, christ. I dunno if I’ve ever thought about them going on a date? In the middle of tomb raiding, hospital trips and fighting against powers bigger than themselves, I’ve rarely seen any time for them to do something like that lol. But after Ultimate Note, I’ve thought about star gazing a lot. Just them, the infinite night sky and some lonely hilltop. They would probably take a blanket with them, huddle together and talk about things in hushed voices. Wu Xie would go on a ramble about all the constellations and their meanings and mythology behind them and Xiaoge would just nod at him and watch Wu Xie talking. Maybe he would offer some tidbits in the middle of the rambling, making Wu Xie smile brightly. It would be relaxing and comfortable and loving. They would make out a lil bit. Would maybe lie down and play with each other’s hair. All their worries would feel insignificant. Wu Xie would fall asleep for a moment and Xiaoge would wake him up with a kiss to get him moving again so that they don’t need to sleep on the cold ground. They would return home and drink something warm and then go to sleep, cuddled together and happy. relevant edit x

V. What’s your favorite pingxie getting together scenario?

I guess I already talked about this a bit but let me elaborate then! As said, I’d see it happening after the Bronze Gate. I am not sure if it would be right away (they’re both going through so much trauma at that point) or if it would happen after Reboot (maybe we would still need Wu Xie almost dying for them to get their shit together), but I’d say it happens in a rush either way. It’s one of those “I have to tell you something before it’s too late” -type of moments. Or one of those “Bc I love you, you idiot!” -type of moments. I feel like I keep thinking that maybe Wu Xie would have to confess first bc as said, Xiaoge wouldn’t like to burden Wu Xie with his feelings when there’s so little he can give in the sense of normalcy. But then again, I have written a oneshot where Xiaoge is the first one to confess and that always feels better for me. That at some point Xiaoge feels secure enough to tell Wu Xie about his own feelings. That he feels confident and comfortable enough to say it out loud while still expecting nothing in return bc he knows that Wu Xie won’t abandon him either way. But no matter how that happens, I always see it as this dam breaking. The emotions finally become too strong. Something happens that reminds them that life is too short. Something happens that makes them finally talk it out and ah, Pangzi can finally take a break, what a joy

VI. What’s your favorite pingxie moment?

Every adaptation has its own good moments so let me make a list (like I saw someone else do too):

The Lost Tomb:

Xiaoge rescues Wu Xie from the shibie

Wu Xie worrying over unconscious Xiaoge plus taking care of him in the hotel room

The Pingxie MomentTM aka Xiaoge saving Wu Xie from falling and then cradling the boy to his chest while thumb rubbing his shoulder

The Lost Tomb 2:

Xiaoge revealed to be Baldie and Wu Xie yelling at him about it

Lowkey the whole underwater tomb arc bc holy shit that’s gay

Wu Xie losing it when Xiaoge doesn’t come up from the underwater tomb, diving after him and then almost dying himself + Pangzi getting angry at him for being stupid

pingxie ft. magical skype in the bronze tree cave (and Xiaoge being emo about the 1000yo warrior guy right before that)

Xiaoge rescuing Wu Xie from drowning (they shared air, you cannot convince me otherwise) + Wu Xie giving Xiaoge his watch in the hospital (relevant edits x x)

Wu Xie’s face when he sees Zhang Buxun in the coffin bc I love pain :)

Xiaoge not shooting Wu Xie despite not remembering him in the mountain village

Wu Xie grabbing Xiaoge’s jacket after being kidnapped and the Iron Triangle reunites in that old Chen guy’s cabin, asking, “Is that you?” from Xiaoge to make sure that he remembers again while looking like the biggest puppy (relevant edit x)

also some relevant memes x

Ultimate Note:

The hand over mouth reunion in the Golmud Sanatorium

“Xiaoge will ignore anyone else but you”

Xiaoge pretending he isn’t Losing ItTM throughout the whole time Wu Xie is in the Devil’s City with A-Ning

more hand over mouth with the gigantic snake

“The goddess has ascended”

Wu Xie protecting Xiaoge after he returns from the jade meteorite 

“Do you remember me?” “Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie promising to help Xiaoge find his memories no matter what bc Xiaoge’s business is Wu Xie’s business 

“Maybe you can return home with a wife today.” Wu Xie: proceeds to stare at Xiaoge, horrified

“Take me home.”

The sword gifting scene (especially Xiaoge denying the possibility of him killing Wu Xie or them harming each other, relevant edits x x)

other relevant edits for ultimate note x x

Reboot:

Wu Xie telling Xiaoge about his sickness and then Xiaoge coming back and promising to join Wu Xie on his trip (relevant edit x)

the death hallucination bc am a masochist 

Wu Xie’s death dream where Xiaoge calls to him but then accepts his choice to move forward bc am a masochist pt. 2

pingxie reunion in the Thunder City forest where Xiaoge saves Wu Xie & co. from the poisonous gas 

the moment in Thunder City where Wu Xie sits outside at night, eating the peanuts Pangzi gave him and then notices Xiaoge, offering him the peanuts and smiling 

when Xiaoge leaves for the last time and then gets reunited with healed Wu Xie against all odds

the train scene and their softest smiles to each other  

Time Raiders:

Wu Xie being the best bean and just wanting to befriend this mysterious man while seeing right under his skin and making Xiaoge baffled and fall in love in approximately 0.5 seconds

Xiaoge, catch! *proceeds to save only Wu Xie when they fall into that shibie horror chamber*  

Xiaoge’s desperation to save Wu Xie from the crumbling ground 

their death waltz at the end of the movie plus Xiaoge’s sacrifice

+ Sand Sea: 

“Don’t you dare call him Xiaoge!” 

Wu Xie offering his friends and then himself as comfort to Li Cu when he’s scared while smiling very softly at the memory of Xiaoge 

“But isn’t his surname Wu?” Hei Xiazi: You have seen nothing yet, you sweet summer child

Wu Xie talking about Xiaoge’s past in the temple (aka the Tibetan Sea Flower story bc I just adore how pretty they’ve made those scenes) 

VII. What is the best gift Wu Xie and Xiaoge could give each other?

I haven’t really thought about this type of stuff either bc we have already seen a ton of gifts being exchanged! I love the watch Wu Xie gives to Xiaoge in TLT2 as mentioned (it’s so silly but also so sweet) and I love it that Wu Xie gifts Xiaoge with a new sword in Ultimate Note. Also, I feel like I can count the food Wu Xie leaves for Xiaoge in Ultimate Note and that one moment where Xiaoge offers his knife for Wu Xie as a “pen”. They would give anything for each other as long as the other asked (which they never do) so I dunno what type of gift would matter the most. As it’s so hard to say, let me talk about one more headcanon that I’ve been thinking about ever since the infamous Bazaar photoshoot for Ultimate Note/XYL & ZSX. So, we see them having matching rings and necklaces in that photoshoot. I think jewelry would be kind of difficult for Xiaoge to wear when he needs to fight, as jewelry could be a hindrance in that type of situation But my brain won’t shut up about “pingxie married!!!” when I ask this question from it. To be honest, I do not see pingxie getting married in the traditional sense. They don’t need something like that after everything they’ve gone through. But I like to play around with the thought of promise rings. Just them exchanging rings for fun, for their own sakes, to have something concrete that reminds them of their promise to each other and of their feelings. Maybe even Xiaoge could wear that ring under his gloves idk. But am a sucker for that thought so my answer to this is then simply: a ring. relevant edits x x

if you read this far, thank you so much! I hope this gave you something and thank you once more for organizing this and allowing everyone to share their love for pingxie ^^ ♥