#midnight venting

[charlie-horses-blog]

Less the "unemployed friend" and more the "spent summer break applying to god knows how many jobs, got 2 or 3 interviews, was rejected back to back and was left with only tiredness, sadness, and frustration culminating in a depressing burnout" friend

[junequillay]

Venting and being insecure, don't mind me:

It scares me when a girl shows interest in me in social media. I have no pictures of me on my Instagram or here (obviously, I just made this account); they don't really know how I look. They might like how I think, the things I like, what I say... But I'm fat, as soon as they see me they wouldn't like me anymore.

[navii-blaze]

banging my head against the walls of my enclosure

[sweet-like-maribou]

AND we have to talk about the way Peter is with his Miles “reason to have kids” Morales.

Peter’s gizmo didn’t get confiscated by Miguel, no? Miguel just told him to go home, to stay out of it.

Guess what? That was all he ever did.

He didn’t visit Miles even though he probably had the gizmo long before Gwen ever did. (But well, you can argue that none of them visited my boy and Peter witnessed Miguel “breaking a canon event”.)

He didn’t warn Miles about what he’ll be facing the moment he met Miguel. (Okay, no one but Hobie made an effort to do that anyway.)

Then, what did he do after the chase? Absolutely nothing.

He didn’t help Gwen when he saw her being forced back to the universe where she was a wanted (supposedly) criminal, at gunpoint of her own dad, no less.

After Miles finally got away, he saw Miguel gathering his best soldiers to go to war with a 15-year-old, clearly knowing where Miguel was heading, still in possession of a gizmo.

And he just. Go home. Because Miguel told him to, apparently? Did he even entertain the thought of helping Miles? Had Hobie not made an interdimentional watch and given it to Gwen, who in turn came to fucking ask him to help Miles, would Peter have done anything at all? Or would he just. Live on. And feel a bit guilty whenever he thought of the kid that was the reason he found light in his life again. Ask himself if he is suited to be a mentor, a father, when he watched someone’s child risking his life to save his dad.

I rewatched itsv, and I must say: it is outright dissapointing for Peter to act like this after all the self-improvement and relationship development between him and Miles in itsv. It’s like seeing a mirrored version of the old Peter B who left Miles to his own devices, only this one is less depressed and more not-my-circus-not-my-monkey.

Jess was doing what she believes to be right (fully knowing the morality of it is questionable). Gwen was helpless and manipulated and scared and a teenager. Peter B actively CHOSE his inaction as an adult.

Peter B deserves at least both the hate on Gwen and Jess combined. Good lord I hope Miles get an entire scene of just yelling at him in the next movie.

Wanna know why I don't like Peter B.?

Because when Gwen was actively forced into homelessness in front of him, he literally didn't help at all. And then it gets framed on JESS.

Gwen asks for help. And Peter says this:

Jess asks him to stop talking.

And from this moment forward, Peter makes no effort whatsoever to help Gwen.

Mind you. This is AFTER Miles' escape. After the whole 'shocked Peter' gif. Peter knows Miguel is willing to get violent.

But that line is his only attempt to help.

Even as he watches Gwen be fully restrained and physically forced into the machine. He stands there and watches.

He doesn't try to web her. He doesn't try to stop the machine or talk to Miguel. He stands there in silence. Watching Gwen get sent home to a universe he knows she is homeless in.

And the movie just lets him. Despite the fact he's known Gwen longer than anybody in this room.

Instead, Jess is the only mentor at fault. We're told to blame her.

During this scene we never pan to Peter, standing there literally motionless as Gwen gets dragged away. He's not panicking, or trying to talk Miguel out of it. We're just expected to absolve him of blame.

It's Jess' fault. Jess is her 'failed mentor' - despite the fact that Peter has known Gwen longer, is shown to have a better relationship with her, and we're given no reason as to why he wasn't her mentor to begin with.

Jess says this, and we're supposed to judge her for it. While Peter said nothing at all. At most he made a joke and then shut up when he was told.

Jess might've believed she couldn't help Gwen - but what was Peter's excuse? Standing there and watching this happen? He doesn't feel the need to do anything, say anything, or even leave the room.

For him, watching this is fine. And Gwen NEVER confronts him about it.

We're not supposed to blame Peter for letting Miles and Gwen down, repeatedly.

Even when Gwen is being physically forced into homelessness in front of him.

We're told to blame the black woman when the white man who has known Gwen longer literally stands beside Jess motionless.

Had Hobie not left Gwen the watch - We're left to assume that Peter would've just... let her be homeless in her dimension.

He watched her get sent home, said nothing, then went home to his wife and kid to ponder whether or not he was a bad mentor.

Not if Gwen was okay. Or whether he should go check on her????

That's NOT OKAY???!!!! THAT'S TERRIBLE!!!!!!! And this is the man we're supposed to be routing for? This, the dude who shows NO signs he was even gonna go and check on Gwen? The dude who lets child abuse go down in front of him TWICE and he just stands there blinking? That's our Peter Parker?

And I'm supposed to be thrilled to have him on the team??? Despite the fact Gwen had to come TO HIM. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND???? Gwen doesn't see a problem with that?????

I'm supposed to be happy he's here? Forreal???

Oh joy. Thank you so much, Humbling Reality Spider-man. We love you.

I hate Peter B. ALL MY HOBIES HATE PETER B. (Not a typo)

[faecelessfiend]

I'm aroace.

TW: venting

No, it's not that I "just haven't found rhe right person"

Or that I"m "Too young, and it's fine cus u also didn't feel atraction at my age"

It isin't "trauma from seeing my parents erratic and toxic relationship"

It isn't because my anti-depressant makes me have lower libido, I still have libido

Or that there is someyhing wrong with me.

Yeah I know I ""used to have crushes"", but it wad when I was 5 and though wanting to be best ftiends was a crush, the others were social pressure, I felt like I HAD to have a crush cus everyone had one

I know I "still feel love", being aroace doesn't mean I can't love, doesn't mean I don't want a relationship or the bonds formed

So, mom, when I come to you, crying because I am feelling wrong, because I feel like there is something wrong with me, feelling that I am missing something...

I don't wnt to hear that "I will get better", I want to hear that there is nothing wrong with me, with being who I am, I was not born wrong, I don't need fixing.

Please... it isin't too much to ask to be loved...

You promised me.

[confused-alien]

Whenever I think of the Harley/Joker queer besties dynamic, I picture this

[purplepixel]

[mxmorbidmidnight]

I was out the other day when this spiritual group approached me. They had this stand set up and were offering “divine healing” and such. One of them saw me and that I had a mobility aid and started questioning me and asking me if I was in pain plus similar shit like that. I wasn’t even walking walking towards the stand, I was walking away from it and one of them went out of their way to chase me down. Can you just fucking leave me alone?!!? Is it that hard?

Grown ass adults approaching me (a minor) on the street so they can take advantage of my pain for the sake of financial gain. In their minds, whether they be Christian, spiritual or any other religion, I am misguided and “cursed”. My entire existence is a story for them to put on their Facebook page, flaunting me about to say “look how nice we are to disabled people!” or manipulate people in pain to think that they can be healed by buying into these scams. A douchebag in a fedora with a crystal isn’t going to heal me of my disabilities.

I’m not your advertisement, not your inspiration and not your money making scheme. Dehumanising me and touching me, giving me unwanted help doesn’t make you an angel just a piece of shit. I’m done letting people treat me like an accessory. If that makes me a “bad disabled” then so fucking be it. If people aren’t going to treat me like a person I don’t think I should be forced to accomodate to them . They are grown ass adults and they are making my life hell.

[legowerewolf]

[the-thistle-king]

I've been longing for Daisies to push through the floor And I wish plant life would grow all around me So I won't feel dead anymore

[little-lucub]

As an alterhuman with aphantasia, sometimes I feel very left out

I don't get memories from past lives, I can't visualize my ears or tail, I find it hard to do shifts because I can't use most meditation audios (as a lot of them use visualization), I can't visualize me in my heart home

I can't visualize the real me. I'll never be able to know what the real me looks like. Every single piece of my identity is based on feelings, on what feels right. Not on what I already know (if that makes sense?). I can't see what my snow leopard self looks like. I'll never be able to see if I have a random spot on my paws or not

Of course I'm not saying that you aren't allowed to do these things and enjoy them, I encourage people if they want to! It's just kind of a sad realization for me about how much I'm missing out on

To my fellow alterhumans with aphantasia, you're valid and still an alterhuman! Even without some of the experiences

[charlie-horses-blog]

WHY THE FUCK MY DUMBASS CHOOSE PRODUCT DESIGN OF ALL THINGS FOR DUAL ENROLLMENT AND ITS TOO LATE TO BACK OUT NOW IM GONNA BE HERE TIL MY BIRTHDAY 😭😭😭

[bugpalace]

i wanna meet another alterhuman irl who i dont just suspect is alterhuman but actually uses the term or is in the community. like please. idc if theyre uneducated i need to know that i am one of many real people instead of alone

[driftnoob3]

Fun fact: in my au, these 2 lovedorks decided to take dance classes a long time ago, and nowadays they are quite the pro's in Tango, Bachata and those kind of dances!

Bonus: they arent perfect tho

[joifee]

you know what; trying to contact someone solely to chat for no reason like just to keep up with people shouldn't be as hard to me as it is.

its probably because of the way I was raised, to just talk to people if you have a topic to talk about with them, but how can there be a topic if I dont know what they would be interested in talking about. I solely want to chat for like finding friends but I cant even jump the hurdle of saying "hi, how have you been" without feeling the need to already know a person even tho chatting would be the way to get to know someone.

Like my brain telling me in order to be able to text someone you need to know them already; doesnt matter if they dont know you; no one cares for that you are a listener not a talker; and its hard to unlearn that kind of shit.

I just beat myself up because I was like "i could watch that stream from an artist I like" and my brain is like "i dont think you would be welcome there what if you get percieved and find you annoying" and now i am not watching the stream; wasnt even considering chatting on there

and i just dont know why am I like that. Why i genuinely dont talk to people even tho i multiple time said that I want to.

Sorry to all my mutuals honestly I really want to talk but i the fear of being seen as too boring, annoying or pushy just paralyzes me to do nothing because I genuinely currently unable to turn off the part of my brain that extremely cares about what people might think of me when in reality they probably dont even think about me at all

[flamebunnyy]