#it is almost midnight
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As an alterhuman with aphantasia, sometimes I feel very left out
I don't get memories from past lives, I can't visualize my ears or tail, I find it hard to do shifts because I can't use most meditation audios (as a lot of them use visualization), I can't visualize me in my heart home
I can't visualize the real me. I'll never be able to know what the real me looks like. Every single piece of my identity is based on feelings, on what feels right. Not on what I already know (if that makes sense?). I can't see what my snow leopard self looks like. I'll never be able to see if I have a random spot on my paws or not
Of course I'm not saying that you aren't allowed to do these things and enjoy them, I encourage people if they want to! It's just kind of a sad realization for me about how much I'm missing out on
To my fellow alterhumans with aphantasia, you're valid and still an alterhuman! Even without some of the experiences
#alterhuman#nonhuman#therian#otherkin#alterhuman community#nonhuman community#therian community#otherkin community#therian things#therian thoughts#therianlucub#aphantasia#i talk sometimes#therianthropy#i also cant do meditations because of adhd#i cant even count to 50 without fucking up or getting distracted TwT#excuse me if anything sounds weird#it is almost midnight#and i am sleepy#vent#tw vent#vent post#← kinda#i meant for this to be more about my experiences but ended up kinda venting#ill make a less-venty post in the future
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There’s just something about Pim in this scene that makes me think “I NEED THIS MAN” I see this and just want to hug him and tell him it will all be ok. :) I can feel hugging him, sweat and all.
#smiling friends#Pim#pim pimling#smiling friends pim#fightclubcat#:3#Fightclubcat rambles#i need this#i need this man#Why am I like this#it is almost midnight#I have to sleep#i think it’s the suit
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"am i too late?"
I gotta be so honest I forgot about the prompt list and was very confused for a second 😭😭 but I remembered! and had an idea so I thought I would just write it now
speak now - jegulus - microfic - 1k
Regulus wasn’t even going to go. He was invited, of course, James said he really wanted him there, but he didn’t beg when Regulus said he’d be busy. He wasn’t busy. In fact, his only plans for the day were to sit in his apartment rotting away in bed while constantly refreshing his Instagram to see all the pictures of the party streaming in. He’d see her in her perfect dress and perfect hair. He’d see James lovingly gazing into her eyes, beautiful with the ocean behind him. It had to be a beach wedding. Of course, it had to be. James always had his thing with the ocean. He’d drag Regulus there every single summer to his family's place. Well, every single year until she came along and then Regulus wasn’t as inclined to go.
Regulus was still James’ best friend, but Lily Evans was… well his everything else. His girlfriend, his fiancé, the love of his life. Now she can add bride and wife to that list of terms.
Regulus isn’t at all upset over this. James chose his life. He had his choices and Regulus wasn’t even an option, and that’s fine. He’ll still be apart of his life. He’ll watch his home from the outside, peering into windows and occasionally being invited in for family dinners in a family he’ll never truly be apart of. He’ll be uncle Regulus and nothing more. The guy who comes around occasionally. So no, he wasn’t going to go to the wedding of all things. He doesn’t think he could handle it. He can’t watch the life he wanted go up in flames because he was too stupid to say something. He didn’t say a word and now James is going to be happily married, or well… he wasn’t going to go.
That was before Sirius called him drunk the night before. It’s a destination wedding, and they all went out the night before as a pre-celebration or whatever you’d call it. It was clear that Sirius had too much to drink, especially when he kept spouting on about how this was Regulus’ last chance. Apparently he had enough of Regulus’ pining and his inability to actually talk about his feelings. He kept going on and on about how Regulus was obsessed with James since he was small. From the moment James walked up to him grabbed his hand and said they’d be best friends forever he’s had Regulus. Even if they were young. Even if Regulus knew nothing of what love meant, he was spoken for. James was it. There was no other light. No other love. He handed over his heart that day and he’s never even asked for it back. Sirius never mentioned it, or at least not since Lily came into the picture. Regulus isn’t sure what made him last night. He’s also not sure what made him buy a last minute plane ticket to Greece of all places.
He’s late by the time he gets there, and when he’s in the first car he could get traffic is blocked up too far, like an idiot he runs all the way to the venue. He’s sweaty and out of breath by the time he makes it there. He’s definitely not dressed for a wedding he looks awful and his clothes are all wrinkled from the flight but none of it matters. He makes it to the beach. He finds the arch just in front of the beautiful waves, but there’s not a single guest to be seen. It’s vacant. Nothing but the sand and ocean water.
“Am I too late?” He mumbles, more to himself more than to anyone. After all this time of running behind it really shouldn’t a surprise that when he finally got it together he was too late. He’s always too late but the ache in his heart is the same, like a slice through his liver, and cracks in his ribs.
“Depends on what you’re here for.”
Regulus eyes widen as he turns around, to find James behind him on the stairs. Still in his suit, beautiful coated with the colors of the setting sun. “You’re still here.”
James shrugs, “Had no where else to go,” he says, walking passed him to the sea to stand under the arch. He picks off flowers from the sides of it, watching as the petals fall to the sand, “I couldn’t go through with it.”
“Oh?”
James smiles sadly, looking down to the ground as he says, “I thought…” he shakes his head, “When you said you couldn’t make it for a second I was relived, you know,” he says, “I thought I could actually go through with it as long as you weren’t here too. As long as I didn’t see you.” He looks up finding Regulus’ eyes through the aisle, “Without you though it was just so much clearer what I was missing I couldn’t—I couldn’t go through with it.”
“James…”
“I understand,” James says quickly, “If you don’t feel the same way. If this is completely out the blue I just—I didn’t love her like I should and it has to be right. It has to be right and I tried to make myself believe that it was but I—“
Before James can finish rambling Regulus is already down the aisle and grabbing the front of his shirt bringing him down. Regulus really hates the cliche but deep down it feels like he’s a teenager kissing James now, back when they should’ve figured this out. They were so fucking stupid, and while kissing James, Regulus swears he can feel sparks fly against them; it’s a firework show.
James pulls away, a smile tugging at his lips, “Oh.”
“Oh,” Regulus giggles, he fucking giggles, like he’s thirteen or something. He’d be embarrassed if it was anyone but James. Hell, James is giggling too.
That is until James takes a pause and questions slowly, “Wait, did you come here to break up my wedding?”
Regulus opens his mouth but no words come out, truly there’s nothing to be said. No defense he can take. So he rolls his eyes instead, tugging James down again, “Shut up.”
#i was thinking on it for a second#like how could i make this sad james#i wanted to write sad james#and then i thought oh! wedding!#and threw the sad james idea out the window#i haven't written sad james in far too long i'm missing him#but yes childhood best friends to lovers jeg#my babies i love them#sorry to lily evans my girl didn't deserve that#but she's probably off making out with her maid of honor aka marlene her best friend who's she's been in love with since they were kids#so it all works out at the end of the day#i don't even like hate jily and i don't think james can't marry lily and be in love with her#i just think... when you have reg as your best friend like... that's pretty hard competition#jegulus#regulus black#james potter#i also didn't read this over#it is almost midnight#i do not care lmao
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Re-reading October 3rd and they just leave Renfield to die. Alone, in the cell he has spent an unclarified but presumably lengthy amount of time in. He dies alone and trapped, just like he spends the whole of the book.
His death is tragic, just as so many in the book are, but is focused on so little. He's just forgotten as soon as he's no longer relevant.
#it is almost midnight#i should sleep but wanted to rant#Dracula#r.m. renfield#renfield#cw death#Dracula daily#i'm not sure if this needs a medical abelism tag#but i'll give it one to be safe#cw medic abelism#tw death#tw abelism
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I DIDNT KNOW THE "oh please we're not children" "eat shit and die" "yes fuck you" WAS FROM CASTLEVANIA!?!!!!!!
#i am LIVING#it is ALMOST MIDNIGHT#I HAVE A CLASS AT NINE AM#BUT FUCK IT WE BALL#trevor belmont#alucard#castlevania#castlevania netflix#castlevania spoilers
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saw u wanted azujami stuff so here's them kissing. FREAKS!
JAMIE . JAMIE I NEEDED THIS THANK YOU. I STARRED GIGGLING AT THE DINNER TABLE AND HAD TO PUT MY PHONE DOWN SO I COULD REPLY TO THIS IN A ROOM ALONE . god i love your jamiazu. theyrrr literally freaks . incoherent thoughts are plaguing my mind right now . I exaclty needed this so much thank you it made me night in these trying times FUCKKK good food for thought before bed agrhuagahdgger barkfigng
#it is almost midnight#Nd#LOOK AT JAMIE’s ART#GOODNESS GHACIOUS#twisted wonderland#absolutely demolished the horrors that plague my mind
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to get up and use the restroom or to stay in my room and risk organ failure
that is the question
#listen#i would go#BUT#a family member that i don't wanna talk to is in the living room#and could potentially see or hear me open my bedroom door#and walk down the hall to get to bathroom#it would also disturb the sleeping dogs currently in the room as well#i've been waiting it out for several hours#it is almost midnight#WHEN ARE THEY GOING HOME#tbf they're in a tough spot in life rn#BUT PLEASE
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There is something to say about someone kneeling on a villain’s chest, hands wrapped around their neck as they glare down at the viallin. Tears in their eyes and taking shaky breaths as they watch the monster who hurt them for years gasp for breath. Feeling the life slip away from the villain and slumping, crying over the life they've taken because it was personal. It was revenge.
They feel like the child they'd been all those years ago when they were first hurt.
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My brother, who is only two years younger than me, ran from fucking cops tonight and I had to pick him up from custody.
I really do need to thank my siblings for constantly giving me confidence in myself and my intelligence 💕
#IT IS ALMOST MIDNIGHT#MY PARENTS ARENT EVEN IN THE STATE#crazy part is of the group of friends he was with he wasn’t the one in trouble for smoking weed in a public park HE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT#FUCKING RAN THO#he’s lucky he was in fucking suburbia and that neither of the cops fucking shot him
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yeah you could say i like to take risks (submitted my essay three minutes before it was due)
#when i tell you my hands are shaking.#i have been typing this essay since 8am#it is almost midnight#i am so tired#but it's DONE BABY!!!!!#this means i can finally write my fics. right.#please.#[eyeing the presentation i have to write]#please i just want a break#vex rambles
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sniffles none of the people i want to be online right now are online
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*is shaking and covered in blood* hey guys j-just completed the first half of two online courses in a single afternoon (for the most part) *collapses*
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Hi I am new to Tumblr and have no idea what I am doing but I plan to probably post and archive my art here
Anyways here's my OC Kix emotionally dying in a hawk proof vest (he gets attacked by dragons on a bi-weekly basis)
(Also apparently hawk proof vests do not actually work against dragons, they will just laugh at you)
#oc#my art#memes#shitpost#art#artwork#original character#new to tumblr#new to this#i have no braincells#why am i like this#it is almost midnight#object head#tv head#robots#robot character#I don't know how to tag things
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Citizens of the Cold, I am heading to sleep now. Goodnight
#it is almost midnight#and ive been going between awake and crashed on the couch#so i am just going to sleep now#glacier rambles
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I'm never gonna get used to this huh
#this “taking care of myself” crap#i was in bed curled up wondering why i felt like utter shit#then i realized.#it is almost midnight#and i havent eaten yet today#my last meal was a literal grilled cheese sandwich a full 30 hours ago. Prior to that it was some premade ravioli 24 hours prior#guess ill eat dinner lol..?
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taking the crumbs of venetian agna qel’a chewing biting gnashing on them until there aren’t even bones left and then spitting out. carnevale northern water tribe style
#id in alt text#plus lil zukkini kissini bonus bc this year carnival fell the day before valentine's day#aaand posting it at almost midnight so we get the Perfect meeting point of the two dates#not bc i drew everything in a rabid frenzy & finished it NOW#anyway venetian carnival in the nwt. hi. is this thing on can anyone hear me.#and when i start talking about the marriage to the sea ceremony- [gunshot]#ough i wish i had more time to draw more masks in sakha-venice fusion style but alas. only had time & brain space for the blorbos 😔#hope this is enough to send the Vision Wavelenghts#yue#sokka#katara#zuko#zukka#my art
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