#meta: er

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hi, aj!

How are you?

This will be about ER. Who is your favorite character and why?

hi, anon!

i'm well! how are you doing?

honestly, i have a hard time deciding on one single favorite character on er, just because a) there are so many characters i absolutely adore (mark, susan, carter, benton, lucy, and neela among them), and b) my answer tends to change based on the era.

that said, forced to choose, i'd say my all-time favorite er character is abby lockhart.

while certainly there are some parts of abby's storyline i enjoy more than others—i've never really liked any of her canon romances, tbh—in terms of her personality and overall arc, i find her so endlessly compelling.

given what her background is, she reads exactly as she ought to.

she is so real and three-dimensional and dynamic!

watching the way she evolves over the course of her nine years on the show is one of the great delights of er's later seasons for me.

and, of course, maura tierney is such a consummate actress! i can only imagine that had she not been in direct competition with west wing-era allison janney for most of her er career, she probably would have much more major award show hardware on her mantel for this role.

just on a pure character design level, i love abby's wry, sardonic sense of humor; that she is a fellow minnesotan and has that "well, i guess this may as well happen—" kind of fatalistic midwestern outlook; how she occasionally is possessed of a streak of "bored housecat" naughtiness; how deeply she cares about her patients and will go out on limbs for them, oftentimes literally; her complicated relationships with her family members; how steel-trap clever she is; the way she struggles with her self-esteem; how she has to really work to initially find her confidence and speak up but then becomes such a firebrand (and sometimes rebel) in the department; her love for dead flowers; her deadpan comedic scenes; that she has some of the deepest, most fleshed-out female friendships on the show (particularly with kerry and neela); the way she so often self-sabotages and then has to deal with the consequences but always does deal with them, however roughshod the effort; how she gradually overcomes her hard start in life and eventually grows into this really graceful, wise, centered person, both professionally and personally; etc., etc., etc.

i also love that her story isn't a linear one: that she starts and stalls, not only along her path to becoming a doctor but also with her own recovery from alcoholism and her mental health issues; her interpersonal relationships and her struggles with her own self-doubt.

the way she is written is remarkable in a good way.

she is allowed to make mistakes to a degree that few female main characters on primetime television ever are—to fuck up royally and even at times be downright unlikeable—and yet she is also allowed to progress, however slowly and unevenly, and to grow.

to me, her long-in-coming triumphs are that much sweeter and more earned because of her numerous setbacks and failings along the way. you really do travel a wending road with her, and by the time you reach the end of it, the destination is so welcome.

there are multiple abby-centric episodes that are among my favorites of the whole series, including episodes 07x07 "rescue me," 10x12 "nicu," 11x10 "skin," and 14x08 "coming home."

i've said it before, but i have never seen such a well-done character sendoff episode on any series as episode 15x03 "the book of abby," which serves as a bittersweet, beautiful forty-five minute love letter to our much-beloved protagonist as she leaves county general for the last time.

her overall arc is one of the best examples of character development i've ever had the pleasure to watch.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[beannoss]

So I've been thinking about them:

Specifically I was wondering what the moment was (if there even was a specific moment) that cinched it for Twilight developing feelings for Yor.

[Spoiler warning: this post references manga chapters not yet animated]

I think for Yor it's pretty quick. Like, this moment here:

Not that Yor fell in love with Twilight then (ymmv) or that she's fully aware of her feelings, but it's explicit that she felt connected to him here and attached in meaningful ways.

But for Twilight, it wasn't so clear. For a while I'd kind of decided that it just came over him slowly (and I think there is something to that) and that there wasn't any singular moment which stood out. But that didn't feel quite right. The more I thought about it, the more I thought there were two stand-out moments, only one of which Twilight actually (semi-)clocks.

The first, which I think passes him by entirely, is this:

In my view, this laugh is an entirely authentic response. I think he is, despite himself, delighted by this woman who 1. just unexpectedly saved him from being stabbed, and 2. did it by sending the guy flying across an entire alleyway.

This is accentuated in the anime, I think, by the jaunty, puckish music that makes up the first part of their marriage theme song. I am dying for the reappearance of this music in some fashion, btw, it's so fun and cheeky and I'm hoping foreshadows their vibe after various revelations and particularly when they start working together as Agent Twilight and Thorn Princess:

The second moment for Twilight, I think, is more subtle for all it's more impactful. Or at least, the degree of its importance passed me by on initial read/watch, and I think it's deliberately downplayed by Twilight himself. Because he does actually clock it but if he looks more closely at it, well... then he might have to do something about it. And maybe that something won't comport with what the mission needs, and then what?

It happens when Twilight first bugs Yor, and then poses with Franky as SSS agents to test whether she knows Yuri is with the SSS.

It's clear in the lead up that Twilight recognises he has some feelings about/for Yor, and he doesn't want to spy on her; he doesn't want to mistrust her at all. He has to convince himself to take seriously that she may be a potential threat.

And even then, the convincing only sort of mostly works, because he hesitates again:

Which is, by the way, bananas. At this point, they've been a fake family for maybe a handful of weeks? Twilight is an experienced, accomplished spy with a finely honed and necessary sense of paranoia. Of course he should be suspicious. Her brother is an SSS agent! Canonically, the SSS are both Twilight- and SSS self-described as Twilight's greatest existential threat. It shouldn't be a question whether or not to verify Yor's knowledge here. And yet.

We all know how the rest plays out. He decides that listening in isn't enough, he needs to confront her insofar as he's able. I wrote previously about Twilight's relationship with Anya and the pivotal moment for him in how his view of his relationship with Anya changes based on Anya's (and Endo's) choices. I think a similar thing happens in this scene with Yor.

See, it would have been enough for Yor to continue to deny, continue to not call on Yuri's help, to prove she didn't know, and to put Twilight's mind at ease.

Endo takes it further.

Y'all: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WILD. It borders on levels of impulsive foolhardiness that Twilight should actually take as a negative for the person playing his wife for Operation Strix. Yor even alludes later to the problems this could cause!

The SSS are indiscriminate; if Yor was facing down actual SSS agents, first assaulting and then threatening them would 100000% land her in custody. Were it not for Yuri, it may even get her disappeared, based on how casually and frequently Yuri references having people executed. It would absolutely put the Forgers at risk, in general and in the implicitly sexist Ostanian society, because if Mrs Forger behaves this way, how does Mr Forger behave? And why can't he control his wife? The Secret Police are not known for their leniency, their modesty, their discerning, their temperateness, their mercy. They are known for the exact opposite of those things. And due to being a spy, Twilight probably knows they're actually much worse than even their public reputation.

And here's Yor saying: you can question me but if you threaten my brother or my husband, I will fucking end you. Bodily.

Of course, it's entirely in keeping with her character, and it's an entirely revealing moment of who she is. And I think this is the moment for Twilight. He's already been trusting her bit by bit, as he says above, intuitively. I'd suggest that maybe even more than that though, Yor taps into something Twilight deeply wants: backup. Someone and somewhere safe. Maybe we could describe a person fulfilling that role in an adult relationship as a partner...?

It's because he doubts his intuition (his wants, his feelings, things he shouldn't be countenancing) that we get to this point where he (overzealously) tests her.

She blows his test right out of the water.

The SSS are basically the group he fears most; this is reiterated throughout the story. He doesn't trust them specifically because of who he is and also just generally. He doesn't trust their judgment. He doesn't share their values or their priorities. He doesn't like them around. He doesn't like them looking. He doesn't like being anywhere near them. (Also, he's right.)

And here's Yor. Not only standing up to them on his behalf but actually going on active defence on his behalf.

(I pause here to note 'on his behalf' is a bit, mm, tricky, since it's actually technically on Loid's behalf and I have Thoughts and Feelings about Twilight & Identity. But for the sake of the impact of this moment on Twilight, we'll take it as writ that in this moment there's no appreciable difference between Twilight and Loid.)

I think from here on out, it's incredibly difficult for Twilight to ever doubt or distrust Yor. He perceives her as firmly in his corner, that if the chips are down — if his worst enemy and his worst fear come knocking — she'll be on his team, unflinchingly. He may not think there will be much she can do (heh.) or much she can offer given the power of the SSS and her civilian status (I reiterate: heh.), but it matters that he believes that she'll be by his side.

And you know what? He's right. She will be.

That isn't something he's had since he was a little boy. Even WISE doesn't seem to offer that to its agents, given Nightfall's thought here:

Twilight's had to rely on himself for decades and now here's this astonishing woman who will threaten the Secret Police for his sake. Of course he trusts Yor. Of course this moment widens the cracks in his barriers. And further: of course those cracks start to reach into those walls deep, deep inside that protect his heart. This is all before getting to other moments, like when he reflects on how Yor is creating a better world in ways he (thinks he) can never aspire to do himself. That she loves Anya openly, freely, with such dedication, to the point of sacrificing her own needs. That she just never gives up, she persists and persists and persists, always doing her best. That she reminds him it's okay to accept peace and to rest. That she wants and tries to take care of him... On and on and on.

Of course we get to this point:

I'm particularly taken with his body language a little later in the scene. He manages to get himself to sitting but he's still sprawled, open, even as he can't wrap his mind around what exactly is happening or why, and he's feeling vulnerable for all that. But at the same time, this is Yor. And she's safe.

In my view, if the Mole Arc hadn't happened immediately between this moment and the earlier where Yor declares herself unhappy, it would have been clearer how much stress he felt specifically due to Yor's apparent sudden unhappiness with their arrangement. The stress got subsumed (conveniently, ahem, Endo) into the stress and violence of the Mole Arc, but I think it rattled him pretty profoundly. It's also additionally why her warm greeting hit him as hard as it did: relief across multiple lines, such that he had to remind himself not to relax, despite Yor's apparent return to normal.

And there may be added layers to Twilight's reactions to Yor's bad moods due to his familial history, as pointed out by @unhappy-sometimes in this post; the inverse, of course, is that Yor's general good-naturedness would add layers to Twilight's sense of security with her. And the apparent loss of that, all the more devastating.

Rounding out the original moment though, I think this in many ways demonstrates the point:

Twilight throws away the bug. That is also wild. It isn't like that bug could only be used on Yor; it wasn't somehow modified to only respond to her person. It was a device that could be used and reused on different targets, on people who actually are worthy of being bugged, etc. But instead of pocketing it for later use, Twilight throws it away.

Actually: he not only throws it away, he crushes it first. Perhaps because he couldn't stand to have that particular device around, the device he used when he doubted Yor?

Seems kind of irrational, Twilight.

Seems kind of telling.

I mentioned my last Twilight meta about his relationship with Anya: in that, I suggest Twilight recognised entering into a compact with Anya, which subtly modifies, for him, the motivations around Strix. I think something like that happens here, too. If Yor is willing to go to such apparent extremes to protect him, he'll do his utmost to protect her.

I've had this meta in my drafts for a while, but I'm chuffed by this panel from the most recent chapter, as it kind of underscores all this by Yor's positioning of herself:

(Of course the point is there isn't a dichotomy: they'll protect each other, as indicated by Yor's if I had to choose: she won't have to choose.)

Back to Twilight, at this point, he can still justify all this as being within mission parameters. Of course he should protect Yor: she is an innocent civilian and if anything happens to her it would threaten Strix. But if/when this line is tested, if/when there comes a point where protecting Yor is actually the option that may put Strix at risk or put him somehow in opposition to WISE, then we'll see.

And more importantly, Twilight will see, too.

[medebaki1]

Metadede week 2nd day-first day :3

They dont know what they're doin ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

[yurikotigerisnotmaiwaifu]

Yuriko Tiger instagram post 5/24/2024

My cosplay of BLACK LAGOON - BALALAIKA ブラックラグーンのバラライカ

🚬＊fake cigar

[braisedhoney]

never lets me have any fun. this is exactly why i mess with him all the time, spoilsport… lol

[outofangband]

I really loved @gwaedhannen ‘s post about wanting more strangeness in First Age Beleriand and I had a post awhile back about potential strange ecology for Middle Earth so I wanted to revisit it with some more thoughts!

Following up to my speculative biology ideas for elves,

Like the last list, these are more jotting down ideas, please please feel free to give me any to elaborate on!

Mammoths on the Helcaraxë and other cold reaches. Tolkien talks of all creatures that walk or have ever walked the earth existing in Valinor and throughout Arda hence prehistoric and extinct species can also exist here. I do also headcanon smaller herds of woolly mammoths and woolly rhinos in northern Hithlum and north of greater Beleriand. Stellar’s sea cows in the frozen waters:(

Early cenozoic aquatic birds such as Hesperornis off the coasts of Balar and Alqualondë.

 Enchanted orchards of Valinor; large, seemingly abandoned self containing gardens and orchards. There are fruit tree orchards hidden behind ivy covered walls; some always filled with Autumn breezes, citrus groves always kept warm and bright lined with lemon trees and deep green grass. Except for the Maia who tend them, the only beings who enter the orchards are elves who do so, usually by mistake.

There are places throughout Arda where the Music was not well, loud, enough. They can be the size of a footstep or a field and are not fully connected to the space time continuum. Those who tread on them will end up elsewhere in time or space and will never realize what had happened.

In the great expanses of unexplored Valinor, there are coves, glens, lagoons, and all sorts of other places that seem shift and change, being there one day and not the next. Even while walking through familiar, charted territory, there is always the possibility of ending up in a hidden clearing, covered in hanging mosses and with strange lights all around.

The forests of Beleriand are full of strange, sometimes dark creatures that have never been properly documented. They are the strange hybrids of Yavanna’s creations and Melkor’s corruption and a few have escaped the eyes of even the Ainur. 

The underground lakes of Middle Earth, especially around Angband contain blind, hungry beings, nourished by the volcanic soils. Strange fungi and lichen stick to the walls of the caverns and passageways beneath the fortress.

There are hot springs in several locations in Beleriand South of the Ered Wethrin (there are many in the Ered Wethrin of course but these are not exactly relaxation destinations). Namely in Himring, throughout Hithlum, north of Barad Eithel, parts of Dorthonion, in the caves of Androth, and parts of the Ered Luin. Not all of these are used by residents and not all maintain safe temperatures or conditions but some do! In many parts of Northern Beleriand, they're used for bathing and communal relaxation. There are other springs throughout the March of Maedhros and I like the idea of Himring being built around a hot spring. There are hot and warm springs in both Nargothrond and Menengroth. The definition of warm springs differs from hot springs only in average temperature

The caves of Menengroth and Nargothrond allow elves and others access to the strange wonders of the underground world of Middle Earth.  They are lit by lanterns and by certain bioluminescent plants. There are windows in key areas that allow sunlight to filter into some of the larger halls and though there are small gardens of species that do not require direct sunlight, some are stationed in the areas where sunlight filters in. A small tributary of the river Narog flows directly through one of the great halls of Nargothrond. Its flora and fauna remain untouched by the elves and algae and aquatic plants as well as small fish, salamanders in their early stages, and stranger creatures are visible to see for those who walk along it. 

In realms with Ainur or certain Eldar rule, natural life may not follow typical laws. Melian has great influence over the biodiversity and climate of Doriath for example even without meaning to.

The horror potential of the boundaries of the girdle or of Nan Elmoth. Time and space distorting, the forest becoming a maze, bird calls confusing and disorienting unwary or unlucky travelers

The Ered Gorgoroth, the eerie, mysterious mountain range, bordered to the north by Dorthonion and to the south by Nan Dungortheb. It was said the spawn of Ungolian haunted these mountains and the valley. I have some more posts on this but I've always imagined there being many pools and meres in Ered Gorgoroth, many harmless though frigid and some completely corrupted by the powers of Ungoliants spawn and other beings. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to know which was which until it was too late.

Chemical reactions causing glimmering or colorful water. Elves learn carefully when this has occurred due to natural phenomena and when it is the result of unnatural influence or Ainur presence.

Salt lakes and landlocked waters mimicking ocean conditions. I’ve always imagined there being a lake like lake Baikal in the March of Maedhros

More Bioluminescence

The realms draped in dragon reek especially around Nargothrond. The pools of Ivrin are ruined by Glaurung and they are the source of the river Narog, the largest tributary to Sirion. The entire land could be poisoned. I imagine that plants wither or lose color, birds and frogs stay silent, animals are thrown off of their natural cycles, The orchards in the hills barren or producing foul fruit, strange happenings resulting from drinking from the river Narog or even eating animals that drank from it…

Alternatively the effects of the water where the power of Ulmo is still strong such as in Nan Tathren or the Twilit Meres

[shih-coulda-had-it]

FEBUWHUMP | KILLING IN SELF-DEFENSE | WC: 999

a/n: Set in that AU where Sorahiko (Prime Torino) time-travels to AFO and Yoichi's childhood and manages with his B+ parenting skills. TW for ableist language (used in context of this being a very anti-Quirk era) and, well, Sorahiko knifing the guy.

//

If it had been Nana or Toshinori in this position, Sorahiko muses, they would have had a tougher time getting accustomed to the sheer brutality of the era. Their present isn’t perfect, but they at least have the economy and government in working order. This is just chaos, through and through.

People lie, cheat, and steal to make it through the day, and Sorahiko genuinely has no idea how the country’s still managing an influx of goods when it seems like the world is too busy imploding to maintain a trade network.

Not his problem.

He’s got two children to mind. Food and shelter, that’s what he promised them, and he aims to deliver. The latter is a broken-down residential building, empty of any permanent legal inhabitants because of the roaming mobs and people like Sorahiko (squatters).

And as for the former, well. Sorahiko’s working on it.

“You kids want to go to the countryside?” he asks idly. Against his better judgment, he’s had to let them follow him outside the building, because the probability of Chibi-AFO taking his absence as permission to run away is much, much higher than zero. Sorahiko carries the smaller boy on his hip, and Chibi-AFO has the dubious honor of sitting on his shoulders. 

He left the uniform at home, opting for a beat-up denim jacket over his black turtleneck, jeans, and sneakers. The boys have been scrubbed clean(ish), and dressed in better clothes (though when Chibi-AFO’s base standard is a repurposed garbage bag, anything is a massive improvement).

Wandering down a street in broad daylight would have had them clocked as a family. Sorahiko uncomfortably represses the weird twist of his gut, in favor of being grateful that it’s the dead of night, as they are looking for a convenience store to rob.

“What’s that?” the smaller boy asks.

“The countryside? It’s outside the city. Quiet, if you don’t count the bugs, but pretty boring after a while. Lots of green. Probably better food.”

“No,” Chibi-AFO mutters into his hair. “Don’t wanna go.”

He sighs. Part of him--the city boy who much preferred streets of asphalt and plenty of high buildings--agrees with the toddler. The rest of him thinks that Chibi-AFO is simply being contrary. 

Ever since they discovered that Sorahiko can’t be affected by his Quirk-stealing power (it was a downright relief to know that Jet wouldn’t disappear in the middle of the night; it was absolutely hilarious to see Chibi-AFO’s face as his last murder attempt failed to spear Sorahiko’s shin, bouncing off like the black energy was made of rubber), Chibi-AFO’s been pouty and prone to temper tantrums. The smaller boy is awed to see Sorahiko survive every time.

“It’s nicer in the summer,” he says.

“Why?”

Sorahiko considers his memories of going to his grandparents’ house as a child. The backyard garden, the forest surrounding the mountain village, the many terrifyingly large bugs that found cozy homes in his blankets… He clears his throat. “Because it’s worse in the winter.”

“That’s not an answer!”

“Well, what do you know,” Sorahiko drawls, hitching the smaller boy a little higher. “You’re just a baby. I know a lot more than you.”

The specifics of what the boys seemed to know and understand about the world, their life, or even each other remains a total mystery to Sorahiko. They haven’t given him names yet, and he’s not inclined to do anything like renaming them. They don’t know how old they are, and they don’t know the name of the city they were wandering in. They can’t read, and they certainly don’t know how to write.

Chibi-AFO digs his tiny gremlin fingers into Sorahiko’s hair. “Not babies,” he mutters, and Sorahiko is about to jostle the kid when, of all the times and places, a man staggers out of an alley ahead, spots them, and brandishes a familiar whistle.

“Metas,” he snarls.

Sorahiko makes several rapid calculations. The man is sober, not drunk. That means Sorahiko can’t rely on inflicting a simple head concussion to compound any memory issues. Chibi-AFO is tense on his shoulders, and the smaller boy has instinctively made himself smaller, even as he clutches one of his brother’s ankles.

“Move even once,” he hears himself snarl back, “and I’ll make sure it’s your last. We’re just on a walk.”

“Diseased freaks shouldn’t be allowed out of the quarantine zones,” the man says, and he pulls out a knife too. Then, like a true fanatic, he goes to blow the whistle in order to flag a squad of Meta X-ers to gather.

Sorahiko crouches down and pries the smaller boy’s clinging hands off, wrenches Chibi-AFO off along with his jacket. The shrill call of the whistle sings in the previously quiet night; Sorahiko catches both boys in the jacket and squeezes their shoulders, stares hard at them.

“This’ll be quick,” he promises, and whips around at the sound of rubber soles hitting asphalt.

Knife raised. The man is mid-lunge. Sorahiko pounces with a burst of Jet, tackles him back, wrestling the knife out of the now desperate grip. The man writhes under him, like he’s just realized that he’s picked a fight against a Meta with teeth. Insults spill out of the man’s mouth, filthy enough that Sorahiko sees red when he takes the wooden handle and pins his opponent to the ground by the throat.

How many Meta X-ers are in the area? Does Sorahiko have enough time to smash and grab a few containers of instant noodles before they need to flee to the roofs? Why are people so stupid--

“White hair,” the man wheezes, and Sorahiko redoubles his grip on the knife. He wishes the man would just shut up and preserve his own life. He wishes he hadn’t brought the boys along. “White hair, light eyes, two kids. White hair… light eyes… two kids…!”

Sorahiko plunges the knife down, and hears the man manage one more, “Monster!” before sharpened steel pierces flesh and bone.

[rallamajoop]

Hi! I saw your analysis posts about the Lords of RE8, and I am absolutely in love! The early concept of the Duke as the fifth Lord always fascinated me, especially since I wonder what "motif" there could have been in term of horror for him. I mean, the other lords all answer obvious archetypes and that ever since their concept art (vampire, werewolf, Frankenstein, ghost). I wonder what would have been the plans with the Duke and his early, more zombified-like version... What d'you think?

Well, as I've said before, I don't think there's much to suggest the Duke was ever meant to be "the fifth lord" in the sense of having his own domain or a big boss battle, or however else you're thinking here. He doesn't appear alongside the other lords in any of the early concepts for Ethan's trial, and all the lords' iconography is big on square corners and blocks in a way that really wouldn't work with a fifth entry. All we've even got to go on to tell us he was ever meant to be a lord at all is a single line attached to one piece of concept art (below). I don't even see him as looking all that much more zombified there ‒ it's just a sketchy art style.

My guess, FWIW, would be the Duke was always going to be Ethan's ally/shopkeeper, but with some late-game reveal that he was a (deposed? former?) member of the lords as an explanation for his implied powers and connection to the village. But the Duke doesn't need to be explained for the story to work, which may be why the 'fifth lord' idea was ultimately dropped.

If you really want to dig into fairy tale archtypes though, there's an obvious one that already corresponds to the Duke, with his horse and carriage ‒ and that's the old, wandering fortuneteller. Typically this would be a Romani woman (although I don't imagine she'd be called 'Romani' in any authentic fairytale), and our hero would more likely be trading money or favours for advice rather than treasure for weapon upgrades, but the Duke fits the bill otherwise.

In fact, as I mentioned in my post on some of the game's unused assets, the Duke actually has a number of unused voice lines that seem to relate to him selling Ethan more information (“You won’t come across this information just anywhere,” “A little bird whispered this to me,” and “Not to presume, but some advice if I may.”) ‒ possibly treasure photos or hints to significant locations.

Fortunetellers and other folk who offer cryptic-yet-vital advice are a regular feature in horror stories too, not just fairy tales. If offended, their role can easily overlap into that of 'witch', for greater monster cred. But for my money, the Duke himself doesn't come across as the easily offended type, so expanding his role into 'monster' might be reaching.

Alternately, you could also look at the villainous Masked Duke from the Shadow of Rose DLC. I doubt he much resembles any authentic 'original' plan for the character, and he's very much his own entity, but he's certainly an effective villain.

(Though if neither of those work for you, given the Duke's size and association with food, 'literal giant who eats people' might also be a fairytale archtype that could fit.)

All that said, I do wonder just a little if there was ever a plan for the Duke to have a proper villain-reveal moment, when you learn he's the fifth lord. I have this whole semi-developed theory that the Duke is actually working on Miranda's direction for most of the game we all played: after all, she seems to want Ethan to destroy her 'false children', and it's the Duke who sets him on the path to do that (with some input from the old hag, our other cackling-fortuneteller-character). It's only once Ethan wakes up in the Duke's carriage at the very end that he unambiguously picks a side against Miranda. After all, even if he was always privately rooting for Ethan, why stick his neck out for a man who might not even survive the day? That's just not good business.

But even if the Duke wasn't working for Miranda from the start, how much do we really know about his motives? It's far too easy to read his eagerness to buy the crystalised remains of mould-infected individuals as the stuff of war profiteering. How much would the additional remains of Miranda, and even Ethan, be worth to him? And these are hardly the only possibilities for what he could really be after!

In short, I would actually love to see more villainous takes on the Duke. Don't get me wrong ‒ I do love that a character as shady as him doesn't turn out to have been Evil All Along, but he's still sinister enough that I'm intrigued by AU possibilities where he has his own twisted plans for Ethan all along, whether as part of Miranda's scheme or all his own. There's stuff you could do here, I'm just saying!

One one final note, people have suggested the owl crest you can see in the background of his shop and the carpet of his carriage was intended to be the crest of his house, and that seems broadly plausible (more on that & translations in my post on everything we do know about the village lords). While I'm at it, have some high-res versions of both from the game assets.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that an owl represents wisdom, or how that tracks with his role as a source of information for Ethan either.

Does it actually look like the crests of the other lords, though?

Eh, a little? You'd have to do some heavy reworks to make it fit in a diamond like all the others. As for overall shape, you could even say it bears more resemblance to Miranda's crest.

Does that mean anything? Eh, if you want it to. Who knows?

(I am also going to nitpick you just a little and say that none of the lords was ever a werewolf. The werewolves are the werewolves, the missing lord in your list would be Moreau as the hunchback or swamp monster. We really don't need anyone else thinking Heisenberg is a lycan, that's really getting tired.)

[wildmxri0]

I'll just put the sketches here for practice. :p

And uh...

Yeah.

[the-mallorca-files]

I know a lot of people were upset about not getting a Wintake kiss or a hug or whatever at the end of s3 ep8, but honestly as someone who identifies with Miranda a slightly concerning amount, the hand nuzzle and the shoulder bump were actually so much more special in my opinion.

We know Miranda hates hugs, and she’s unlikely to initiate one — she’s more comfortable with physical touch now, particularly with Max, but she’s still not at that point yet. So if Max had put his arm around her at the end, he would’ve been completely ignoring her boundaries and comfort levels (which are likely even more important to her than usual, given the severe trauma she’s just been through) just so he could show affection in a “typical” way.

Instead, he lets Miranda guide the whole interaction, allowing her to show her feelings and how much she cares in whatever way she’s most comfortable with in that moment. He doesn’t push for the hug I’m sure he instinctively wanted to give her, because he’s listening to her and respecting her boundaries around physical touch. And this shows in the way Miranda interacts with him; it means she actually feels safe enough to push through her own boundaries to some extent, because she knows he won’t make her go any further than she’s comfortable with.

It’s this trust and respect that lets Miranda be so open in that final scene. She apologises for her part in their argument, which is an absolutely huge thing in itself given how much she hates admitting she was wrong (and really struggles to do so). She opens up about her feelings, and how she’s realised how important he is to her. She allows herself to be vulnerable and to cry in front of him, which, again, is an absolutely massive thing for her. And she gives him the physical affection of the hand nuzzle and the shoulder bump — something she previously would’ve baulked at in such an emotional moment

[pleuvoire]

i'm still in the locked tomb meta hole sorry.... i think it's really interesting that ntn as the third book in the series is such a jarring break from the atmosphere of the first two books, which was such a "decadent feuding court with swords and magic and shit (but like, in space and sci-fi)" type of setting, really elevated #aesthetic drama, and then ntn finds us living in an ordinary dirty crowded city among ordinary people trying to live their every day lives amidst the scarring of imperialist violence on one of the many planets said decadent feuding court has colonized, and suddenly all the elevated aristocratic sci-fantasy stuff starts feeling like it's off in another world, and suddenly people are fighting with guns and bombs instead of swords and bone magic. and this is insanely whiplashful and leaves you feeling like you're reading a whole different book series and i will confess is a factor in ntn not being my favorite book in the series, what can i say i love some decadent sword court drama, but i think it does what the decadent court drama genre often shies away from even when criticizing the decadent court in question, which is actually showing us the real people and worlds oppressed by said decadent court instead of relegating them to a far-off hypothetical, putting us down on the ground with how the 99.99999% live. and from the perspective of ntn, all the campy theatrical #aesthetic drama of the previous books that you just accept as part of the setting when you're situated within it starts to seem like ludicrous pageantry. the evil empire is larping and we all bought into it... i don't really have a conclusion to follow this train of thought to except that it's funny that criticisms of tlt as "fanfiction-y" often focus on this overdone #aesthetic and yet that very same thing starts to unravel as the Narrative of imperial power throughout the books starts to unravel in turn. also it reminds me of rgu and how much the #aesthetic in that show is directly a symbol of oppressive power (the swords, the flowers, etc) and it reminds me particularly of the imo quite viable interpretation/headcanon of rgu, that all the crazy surrealism happens within the bounds of ohtori academy specifically as a mechanism of the suffocating self-contained patriarchal system it is, and once you get out of there you're just in the normal regular world with no symbolism. tlt is like that but if ohtori academy was actively invading and colonizing everywhere else

[addictedtostorytelling]

er episodes 06x13 “be still my heart” and 06x14 “all in the family” timeline

so in honor of it being valentine’s day yesterday, i decided to rewatch er episodes 06x13 “be still my heart” and 6x14 “all in the family.” in the process, i used time cues within the episodes to work out a rough timeline of the events in them, for anyone who is interested.

as preface to this timeline, i will note that most hospital emergency departments tend to run on staggered shifts so that there is a steady rotation of personnel coming on and off duty throughout the day and night.

in the timeline, i am going to refer to the 7:00am to 7:30pm shift as the day shift, though, in reality, it would probably more accurately be called a day shift, as there also likely would be people coming on and off at 7:30am and 8:00pm, 8:00am and 8:30pm, 8:30am and 9:00pm, and 9:00am and 9:30pm. the same is true of what i refer to as the night shift, between 8:30pm and 9:00am.

the fact that there is a seeming gap between the day and night shift can, again, be explained by the fact that there are actually multiple staggered day and night shifts, overlapping one another on both ends.

while the majority of the main characters in these two episodes—with the notable exception of kerry—work the day shift on 02.14.00, it can and should be assumed that there are many nameless er staffers who cover the gap between that shift and the night shift that goes into 02.15.00, as well.

so, with all of the above in mind, here’s what i’ve come up with.

__

timeline

02.14.00

episode 06x13 “be still my heart”

lucy, carter, luka, abby, dave, carol, jing-mei, mark, elizabeth, romano, malik, haleh, cleo, chuny, and conni all work day shifts, with most (but not all) of them coming in around 7:00am and being scheduled to go off-duty at around 7:30pm.

lucy takes paul sobriki on as a patient early in the day, around the start of shift, circa 7:00am or 7:30am (when mark and elizabeth are first coming on call). he is seemingly her first patient of the day and will continue to be her only patient as the day goes on, much to carter’s frustration.

lucy and carter have their fight over sobriki’s treatment a while before mrs. connelly’s death. it is difficult to say exactly when in the evening said fight takes place. however, later on, circa 8:00pm or so, it is mentioned that the leg lac patient carter refers to in this scene has been in the er for over four hours already, indicating that a decent amount of time has probably elapsed between the fight and the party. i estimate that the fight ends (with lucy telling carter to “forget it” and angrily storming back into exam #3 to tend to sobriki) at around 6:00pm or 6:30pm at the latest. this point marks the last time any of the main or minor characters seems to have eyes on lucy prior to when carter discovers her after they are both attacked. if leg lac guy comes in around 4:00pm and carter yells at lucy for being slow to see him at around 6:00pm or 6:30pm, only to then realize at around 8:00pm that she still hasn’t gotten around to doing so, then that sequence of events would track with his “four hours” comment.

of course, given that the lights are still on in exam #3 and there are still other people around at the point when lucy and carter part ways, lucy’s stabbing can’t take place in their fight’s immediate aftermath. more likely, sobriki attacks her much later, after the start of the party, hence why nobody hears the attack taking place and why there are no other staff in or around exam #3 to try to save her. i therefore estimate that the earliest time at which lucy might be stabbed is around 7:30pm, though more likely the attack takes place sometime around 7:45pm, once the party has really gotten going/noisy.

we see malik, the lpn working the sobriki case with lucy, at the party from its earliest stages. just knowing his personality and how social he tends to be, he may have even ducked out on her a bit early (i.e., before the end of their scheduled shift) in order to help set up for the party/get things going at admit, leaving her alone from as early as 6:00pm on.

abby pronounces her patient, mrs. connelly, dead at 7:19pm. the party has not yet begun at this point.

if the party starts at the end of the day shift at around 7:30pm, then it’s probably around 7:45pm to 8:00pm when carter finds abby smoking on the roof and they go back downstairs together. at that time, amira mentions that she can’t locate the knife they were going to use to cut the cake in the lounge, cuing us that sobriki has already long since gotten hold of it.

carter is likely stabbed around 8:00pm.

the entire stabbing sequence itself, from the time carter steps through the door of exam #3 to the time when he passes out, takes place over the course of only a little more than two minutes (i.e., less than half of the duration of the song “battleflag” by the lo fidelity allstars).

per what carol later tells kerry, mark and elizabeth leave the hospital at 8pm. my guess is that they actually leave a little before 8pm proper—more like 7:40 or 7:50pm—and that carol is just approximating/saying “eight” for the sake of the rhyme (“left at eight; double date”), hence why they are not present when carter and abby come back downstairs.

when we see mark and elizabeth at the pub with their parents at the end of episode 06x13 “be still my heart,” they have already been off of shift for long enough to have had dinner and drinks and to be several songs into karaoke. by my estimates, it’s probably about 9:30pm to 9:45pm when they are paged back to county after carter and lucy are discovered.

episode 06x14 “all in the family”

to start out the episode, kerry comes on for a night shift, as do lydia and carl deraad from the psych department.

carol tells kerry and abby at the beginning of episode 06x14 “all in the family” that she’s been “on since 7[:00am] and has to come back by 7[:00am].” my guess is that she has stayed at the hospital a bit later than the end of her scheduled shift—at 7:30pm—in order to attend the party/make her handoffs to the night shift personnel coming on duty. by the time she starts getting ready to leave the hospital, it is probably around 8:30pm.

dave remarks that he’s on until 9:00pm when carol informs kerry that mark left early, indicating that it is not yet 9:00pm when kerry arrives.

my estimate is that kerry comes in around 8:30pm or so for an 8:30pm to 9:00am night shift. after running the board and picking up her first patient, she likely discovers carter and lucy at around 8:45pm or thereabouts.

if my timeline holds, lucy has already been down for between twenty minutes to a half-hour by the time carter is stabbed and for between an hour and an hour and fifteen minutes by the time weaver discovers them.

if my timeline holds, carter has already been down for between a half-hour and forty-five minutes by the time weaver discovers him and lucy.

by the time carter and lucy are wheeled in to the trauma rooms to receive their initial treatments, it is likely sometime around 9:15pm.

the clock in trauma #2 shows that it is about 10:05pm when carter is taken up to surgery.

the clock in trauma #1 shows that it is 10:10pm when mark and elizabeth return to the hospital and commence working on lucy.

the clock in admit shows that it’s 10:25pm when luka yells at amira about sobriki stealing the knife. at this time, kerry instructs amira to pull the emergency contact numbers for carter and lucy. however, neither one of their families ever makes it to the hospital while they are being treated. while we later learn that carter’s parents are in europe during these events, we’re never told what lucy’s mother’s whereabouts are. however, the fact that lucy’s mother doesn’t make it to the hospital in time to say goodbye suggests that she is far enough away that she cannot travel to chicago quickly, even perhaps if she gets on a plane.

the clock in the or where carter is being operated on says it is about 11:50pm when shirley shows up to request that either peter or anspaugh go to help cleo with her emergent patient.

02.15.00

carter is seemingly in surgery between 10:15pm on 02.14.00 and about 3:00am on 12.15.00. 

peter is intermittently called away from the or between 12:30am and 3:00am to help with cleo’s patient.

lucy’s blood clot situation transpires between about 12:00am and 2:56am.

lucy is pronounced dead at 2:56am.

it is after 7:00am (and therefore the start of the next day shift) by the time carol and mark are standing outside of exam #3, looking at the crime scene. sometime afterward, robert and kerry prepare lucy’s body for morgue transport.

commentary

i've always felt like we’re supposed to read robbie and julia from episode 06x13 “be still my heart” as carter and lucy analogs. something, something about two wide-eyed kids being forced to confront death. something, something about the er staff desperately trying to shield them from that confrontation but ultimately failing. i dunno. maybe i'm reaching, especially because carter and lucy have nothing to do with that case. but it just seems like there’s a metaphor there.

the whole impetus for making this timeline was that i really wanted to get a feel for the last few hours of lucy’s life. just the notion of her being alone and bleeding in exam #3 for twenty minutes to a half-hour before carter comes to find her is devastating to think about. she must be so scared, lying on that cold floor, listening to the blaring party music, knowing that even if she somehow can scream—which of course she can’t because her throat is slit—no one will probably hear her. it must take all of her strength to cling to consciousness for as long as she does. i can’t even imagine how she must feel watching carter walk through that door, only to immediately see him be attacked. the look on her face when he finally locks eyes with her from the other side of that bed will haunt me forever.

having just giffed the scene, i swear to god she tries to say something/reach for carter before she passes out.

i am likewise struck by the fact that, all in all, about seven and some odd hours elapse in-between the time when lucy is stabbed and the time when she dies. in some ways, that’s such a long time. in other ways, it’s such a short one. i suppose that’s somewhat the point: she’s dead within the course of a single night shift.

i guess it hadn’t really occurred to me before—though it really should have—that not only does carter survive while lucy dies because his injuries are ultimately less severe than hers but also because she is down for much longer than he is on the whole. the fact that she may have been stabbed over an hour before she starts receiving treatment is what i think really seals her fate. otherwise, she might have been savable.

going back to what i mentioned in the timeline about lucy’s mother not making it to the hospital in time to say goodbye before lucy dies, it occurs to me that we never actually learn where lucy is from originally at any point during her tenure on the show. the fact that her mother is unable to travel to chicago during that five hour-window between when amira likely calls her at around 10:30 or 11:00pm on 02.14.00 and when lucy dies at just shy of 3:00am on 02.15.00 is just heart-wrenching—lucy is, as far as we know, her only child—as is the idea that lucy dies “alone in a foreign field,” faraway from wherever she grew up and where her family is located. her remains probably have to be flown back to her home state for her funeral.

something that didn’t come through to me when i used to watch these episodes when i was younger but which i can’t help but think about now: how young lucy is and how much how young she is gets to her coworkers as they are working on her. in s5, carter mentions that lucy is twenty-four years-old, so by s6, she’s either twenty-four or twenty-five years-old. when i first watched episode 06x14 “all in the family” back in 2000, i was only thirteen years-old myself, so lucy seemed like just another adult to me, but now that i'm in my late 30s, i realize what an absolute baby she is, and i can see that kerry, robert, and elizabeth all feel that way, too. not only does elizabeth literally refer to lucy as “that poor girl,” but you can just see by how everyone looks at her that they really can’t get over the fact that she is just a kid, far too young to die—which, of course, makes it all the more traumatizing when she does. the way elizabeth strokes her hair to comfort her before the procedure makes me want to bite something.

something, something about how lucy absolutely knows the second she throws that blood clot that she is going to die. you can see it in her eyes. kellie martin offers a masterclass in nonverbal acting there.

lucy’s last words are “i want to stay awake,” which she doesn’t even get to speak aloud—just whisper. somebody please sedate me.

in fact, lucy gets no audibly spoken dialogue in her final episode at all. there is probably a comment to be made about that fact, given how much of a role “not being listened to” plays in the circumstances leading up to her death.

i hadn’t realized before: carter’s surgery is being concluded right around the time that lucy dies. i've long been obsessed with the parallel between the story carter tells in episode 03x05 “ghosts” about how in his childhood he knew, without being told, that his brother bobby had died of leukemia and how in episode 06x14 “all in the family” he just seems to know, again without being told, that lucy has died, too, almost immediately upon waking up from surgery. i think there’s probably gotta be fic one could write there. something about carter and lucy “crossing paths” as he comes out of his temporary sleep and she enters into her final one.

along those same lines, it also strikes me as really tragic that though carter gets some periodic updates during the course of his treatment on lucy’s condition, lucy never, insofar as we see or hear, is told how carter is doing (and, of course, she can’t ask because she has no voice); she may very well die having no idea if he even survived the initial attack.

the found family stuff kills me. i mean, in an episode titled “all in the family,” they really had to make good on that premise, and they absolutely knocked it out of the park: the usually unflappable kerry throwing up in the trashcan after she has to crack lucy’s chest open. peter calling carter “man,” his affectionate nickname for reese, and being so frantic and blustering and almost wild throughout his course of care; just absolutely inconsolable until he knows for sure that he’s safe. the staff gathered at doc magoos swapping “family stories” about carter and lucy before chuny comes in bearing news of lucy’s death. how at the end, robert and kerry are absolutely framed as parents—the dad and mom of surgery and the er—tucking their little daughter lucy into bed as they prepare her body with the death kit. it's just all such a gut-punch and so, so good.

there are just so many wonderful storytelling beats. such stellar acting. superb pacing. such smart uses of silence and cut scenes. these episodes are so fantastic and heartbreaking.

twenty-three years later, and i’m still not over them. never will be.

[princessofxianle]

thinking about that one study asking surviving suicidal ppl who jumped off bridges what their final thoughts were before hitting the water and finding that regret was a common thread...

hong-er may have realized last minute, mid fall, that maybe he didn't want to die and despite the logic prayed for someone to save him and then xie lian DID

no wonder he's obsessed and in love with him

[wraith-caller]

Never been a fan of people trying to shape the Golden Order into conservative Christianity. Reading fics where they talk about women needing to be "traditional" or seen but not heard, when the figurehead of the Order is a woman who has waged loads of wars, had two husbands, makes a point of examining her faith rather than submissively accepting it. Seeing posts that seem to say the GO is villainizing the use of sorcery, a way of deriding the carians, when one of the greatest champions of the Order himself studied sorcery of his own volition, and married perhaps the greatest sorceress ever known. There's nothing to indicate the GO ever had a beef with the practice of sorcery, and it's not like they shuttered Raya Lucaria after the union of the Moon and Erdtree. Cringing every time someone describes Fundamentalism as the "thoughtless extremist" wing of the Order when it's supposed to be about taking a scholarly approach to the examination of the laws of causality and regression.

Idk. It's just, there's so many reasons to be skeeved out by the GO, and it exists within a fantasy with a totally distinct history from our own world. While there are obviously influences from a wide variety of real-world sources on the mythology and world of the game, it's not a direct copy of reality. It's lame to see sth so full of opportunity for interesting world building from fans just turned into a watered down copy of what they despise in reality.

[yurikotigerisnotmaiwaifu]

Yuriko Tiger instagram post 9/4/2024

ホロライブインドネシア🇮🇩⤵️Slap by step 🎵 #hololiveindonesia gen 2 here 🦚🧟🍂

Doing this photoshoot with so many cute and passionate models really filled me with joy! It’s not every day that you get to cosplay as the whole Hololive ID crew with fellow holo enthusiasts ~

これからもっとIDのコスの写真を投稿するからいいねとシェアして下さいねー！！

#hololiveid #holoid #hololive #ホロライブ #pavoliareinecosplay #cosplayer #indonesiacosplay #cosplayindonesia

[yangsharperavery]

not to be a downer or doomssaver, but i'm pretty convinced sydney is going to have a health scare and here's why...

the opening and closing shots of s2 are very distinct and purposeful.

marcus sitting bedside with his ill/dying mother vs. a close shot of sydney (who also lost her mother) looking at her retreating father after arguably the biggest night in her professional career thus far.

(and just after throwing up behind a dumpster)

those are SO different than the opening and closing shots of the first season.

both of these shots have little to do with the bear and almost NOTHING to do with carmy/the berzatto's, the main protagonist and central focus of the show.

i think season 3 is ushering in a deft exploration and narrative voice shift toward sydney and her character in general.

part of that will be some type of health something, doesn't have to be lupus, but it's something.

because narratively it seamlessly sets up a ton of story to tell and puts a lot of already burgeoning tension between carmy and sydney on full blast.

like turns the burner under their dynamic all the way up. high heat.

carmy envisioning her during that panic attack actually acts as an indelible storytelling device moving forward.

him grappling with what that means, combined with the complete and total fuckup of him missing the entire night by his own negligence and error.

especially if any inciting incidents happen regarding her health in the midst of/after any growing issues/fights they're bound to have as a result of the latter half of s2.

it layers the professional and the personal where lines are so clearly already blurred and tenuous.

but honestly the biggest tell/foreshadow that convinced me of this is her damn medicine cabinet.

set design is SO precise and intentional for a show like this.

(think of all those notes around the office for carmy)

there's no way she would have 3-4 entire shelfs filled to the BRIM with prescription bottles if she hasn't had some sort of health issue(s) that could be reoccurring, chronic or autoimmune.

i also mentioned before that claire working at the hospital isn't an accident. neither is the fact that natalie is pregnant and will be going to the hospital/doctor for obvious various reasons in the next 3 months of the show.

i could see sydney trying to keep whatever is happening with her from everyone and it slips out via claire or nat.

anyway, carmy is already a fucking basketcase when it comes to sydney in general or when he can tell she's upset with him.

carmy when sydney is ill/not feeling well is gonna be a whole other creature entirely.