#mental health is pure shit right now but he is my angel and my love

[lovetei]

Heyyy,

I saw your toxic things the demon bros will do to keep you with them and i absolutely fell in love with. More of, my mental health issues felll in love with- ANYGAYSzz

I was wondering if you could maybe do the same for the side characters¿¿¿¿

Also did you drink water today? Cuz if thats a no here you go 💧💧💧💧

And some cookies just incase 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

Love anonymous 👑

I'm not actually supposed to post anything for tonight, because I don't know? I didn't get to start anything this morning so I crammed this post T_T

But love lots! Hope you enjoy this piece ^^

But seriously, I was like "Oh shit, the algorithm I don't have!" And proceed to finish this.

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What are the most toxic thing they will do in a relationship just to make you stay with them?

Versions: Demon brothers, Side Characters

Warnings: Manipulation, yandere themes, execution, mention of torture, psychological torture, love potions, Mentions of murder, framing, alcohol

Links: Masterlist

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DIAVOLO will use his authority

He's already so happy to have you by his side

And by staying there you already secured the position of the next ruler that will stand beside him

So, why do you have to leave..?

And the reasons

"I'm not fit enough..."

"I don't deserve this much..!"

"There are more people out there that are more worthy than me..."

Won't cut it.

He knows your worth and he's sure you do too.

So why?

Perhaps you're just nervous that you won't be able to match his grace?

You don't need to.

His grace is unmatched among the demons and yours is too among the mortals.

You both are on the same chapter, just on different pages.

So why make things hard for yourself?!

All you need to do is say yes and everything will be taken care of.

Clothes, food, money, status, security and literally anything.

He loves you and you does too so it's not going to be a marriage with no love...

SO WHY?

You're starting to drive him insane, MC.

And he might just do the same to you

So he'll invite you over for a fancy dinner and a few drinks

You accepted, despite knowing that Diavolo might try something after he got you drunk

Thinking that Diavolo forgot that you can't get drunk by just a basic demonus

Fool

That's what you are for thinking Diavolo actually misses something, anything about you

So he changed the bottle of demonus to an actual human liquor but neutralized it's taste by the help of his one, loyal servant

Barbatos

Not even two hour passed by and you're already putty in his hands

Dancing just like how he wants it on his palms

Then he'll slide a paper into the table to you, together with a beautiful pen

He then point at an empty line with his finger and said "Look at that MC, this line right here wants your signature."

"Hmm, why?~"

"Because it's such a huge fan of you and it needs you to become something, someone better, so why don't you give it a sign?" Is what he said while smirking.

And there you are, signing the papers while your mind is clouded with alcohol

Oh what is it?

Just a marriage contract

You don't want it?

Look into rules and regulations, Claus 5

It's against your human rights?

How foolish, you're not in the human world.

You will tell the whole Devildom about it?

Lèse majesté

And what's the punishment for committing that? Simple.

Death.

BARBATOS and his timeline power

He loves you

So much actually

At first, it was fun to be in a relationship with him

It's fun, slowly opening him up like a present and seeing the gift, a part of him that only you know.

He builds up trust for you and so do you for him

Then it started to get suffocating

He won't admit it openly but you know,

You know that the one who kills anyone who dared act close with you is him

And it terrifies you

You may allow it if it actually harms you, severely

But it's not for your protection anymore

He's doing it out of pure annoyance now

He doesn't like you around the brothers

The angels

Solomon

Thirteen

Or even Lord Diavolo

In fact, he doesn't want you around anyone.

And it's making you feel more unsafe

He's starting to isolate you from everyone and everything

He's trying to isolate you from the world

So you decided to end things with him

And he doesn't seem to take it lightly like how you expected...

How did you know?

Simple.

You woke up weeks before that break up happened

You know how it happened and you know who made it happen

It's none other than your boyfriend of course

You thought that maybe if you talk nicely with him he'll actually understand the problem

But he didn't

He started to get more and more aggressive with you

Then when the week end

It repeats

And repeats

And repeats

And repeats again

And again

But it will keep going on like that until you learn

Until you learn that there's no other option than him

No other ending than him

He doesn't mind driving you crazy if it means you'll continue to love him

So good luck, MC.

SIMEON might just ask Father for help

Ho doesn't understand!

Why would you want to break up with him?!

He did everything, MC!

It's not clear!

Nothing is clear!

You just belive that you two are not fit together..?

You don't want him to end up like Lilith..?

He doesn't care!

He'll burn these precious, white wings for you!

He'll kill for you!

He'd actually prefer to end up like Lilith rather than this!

Because, at least, Lilith managed to be with her love until her life ended...

He'd rather be a demon or a human rather then live like the adored angel he is without you...

...

You'll still leave huh?

Alright then.

I guess he has no choice but to ask Father for help

What do you mean it will cause him to fall? Oh dear, it won't.

It might actually even promote him into a higher rank.

Father wants you in his side.

In fact, the whole celestial realm want you on this side

So when he asked "Father, it seems that we need to take even larger measure to have MC side with us. What do you think we can do?"

...oh?

Luke?

What a brilliant plan.

Now,

Let's see if you can still leave knowing an innocent life, Luke, will be put under danger because of this tantrum,

Because of you.

SOLOMON and his hidden antics

Oh dear, angel

His little devil

His most prized possession

His favorite concubine,

You won't be leaving him anytime soon, dear.

When you told him that "I want to break up with you."

He kept himself quite for a while before answering "Let me give it some thought, MC. For now, stay with me."

And just as he expected you listened obediently.

But then, his grip around your waits became more rough

And the hand he used to playfully wrap around your neck became more tight

It's hard...

It's hard to feed you his love laced cooking

But he found out that you just loves, adored even, Luke's baked cookies...

And since you're a human, he knows that Luke creates special cookies just for you

One that don't contain exotic ingredients that will upset your stomach

And it just made the work of latching love potions easier for him

He'll just add a few drops and it will do the magic for him

So, all he has to do sit tight

And wait for you to crawl back to his lap yourself.

RAPHAEL will use spears for example

Haha...

But he loves you, MC..?

He might just start crying if you say more

"Sure... But I'll make sure you'll come back to me..!"

At first, it sounded like a joke and it's funny enough to make you giggle

The beautiful memories of peaceful separation didn't last long after you saw a dead body pinned by spears though

His spears, to be specific

It doesn't even make sense

You don't even know this guy...

He hasn't talk to you and you don't even know him

Hell, you don't even recognize his face...

So what's the catch?

Why is he killing completely random people...

That's what have been running around your mind

You haven't seen him around RAD anymore

And if you do he refuse to answer your questions

Except his face will lightly flush and he'll even smile a little before sa say "Ah~ It's nice hearing your voice..."

His tone, the way he says it, none of theme are innocent

And he made it known that he knows what he's doing

The curiosity didn't last long

Until you found out that the corpses aren't for you from him as a threat

It was for the families of the victims

You found out that each of them have high power among the nobilities of Devildom

And he killed them to make the families think that you're telling him to do so

It's not to make you feel guilty, it for them to start attacking you

Until you're pushed back to a corner where no one else can save you

Except for him.

MEPHISTOPHELES's way only

Ha...

Man he loves you so much...

But all he do is stare at you blankly after you told him you ant to break up

Staring at you like you're just some kid throwing a tantrum

It's Mephistopheles in front of you, I mean, he's rich, handsome, tall, smart and has good family background

If he's a human everybody would have gone crazy over him already

Plus he wears heels and he has a sexy cane

What more could you ask for?

But yeah...

You don't want to be with him forever?

Sure, he'll talk to Diavolo.

"I'll buy MC's contract and I'll put them under my wing." Is all the reason he needs to say and a few more to have Diavolo selling you

What about your family?

This amount will do right?

I mean...

He paid for what your worth so don't expect it to be much.

Anyways, you're his now

By the eyes of the law, money and his

He'll never let you get away?

And if you did try to?

He'll simply frame you for treason and let's see if you won't come crawling back to him

After finding out that he can choose what type of punishment, torture method, to give you.

But don't worry.

He likes the game cat and mouse

He don't like playing it for a long time though

So be careful

His patience isn't as long as the line of money and connection ahead of him

THIRTEEN basically holds your life

Break up?

"You're not." Is all she said as she holds your candle

She's grinning widely as she let your candle melt, its 's wax falling directly in her hands

"Why would you even want to?" She asked even though she knows, no reason can separate the two of you

And if you did say "I don't care." as she holds you candle

She might just accidentally extinguish one of your loved ones candles

So be careful, MC.

Among everyone

She's the only one who won't joke around.

And just so you know

Her patience is shorter than the amount of time it requires to kill someone's fire off of their candle.

[bunnakit]

my stand in ep 4 thoughts, feelings, etc

WOW WA WE WAA THAT SURE WAS AN EPISODE HUH - happy to report i went back through the episode slowly this week and took notes and really tried to gather everything i wanted to say (but i will inevitably forget something)

🌸 ok disclaimers because i have a lot of them for this particular episode 🌸

i'm just a silly guy on the internet, i'm not an expert in mental health, psychology, body language, whatever. most days i can't even take care of myself. i'm just saying things recreationally.

PLEASE do not put novel spoilers in my replies, reblogs, or tags without a warning notice. i've got an itchy blocking finger for it these days.

i am treating ming and joe and everyone involved in this show as if they were real life human beings. ming was not born some mustache twirling villain sent from hell to make joe miserable. joe is not some pure angel descended from the clouds to do no wrong. everyone in this show exhibits very human behavior and that can be distressing under certain circumstances. i'm just going to comment on them as humans. i'm not interested in a round table discussion on why a character is irredeemable, the scum of the earth, etc. i'm just putting my thoughts out there and you can take them or leave them.

🌸 alright yucky disclaimer time over 🌸

the episode really just picks us back up where everything left off - and yet joe still made ming breakfast, and ming isn't stupid (well right now at least,) he knows something is off.

i am confused why tong needs to get married on this specific day. and like bro how fast are you getting married? relax. the whole thing is just unstoppable force (trajectory of this producers career) meets immovable object (tong's fuckass stubbornness) and the collateral damage is massive.

and then there's the question of did joe ever want to play a lead? or did he let his impulsiveness and hurt put a target on his back? (only emphasized by the fact that everyone assumed joe would turn down the role)

i DO apologize for all my doubt surrounding wut. he, ja, and may are the only people in this show with any god damn sense. maybe jojo and yim. we'll see.

getting into the confrontation at joe's work, i really don't think it's that surprising when we keep in mind ming genuinely has no fucking clue what is going on. all he knows is joe woke up, was acting weird, didn't come home, and then told him to pack up his shit and leave with ZERO explanation. like, joe's completely in the right, but i'd also be confused as fuck. (i wouldn't go to someone's work about it but, y'know, we know ming acts in extremes.)

and to me this is where it really became obvious that joe has always been able to overpower ming, to get away from him, as we have seen joe's physical prowess, we've seen what he's capable of, but he never uses his body to move ming away from him - that's not who joe is, he's not someone that would put his hands on another person like that. it's just another way ming and joe are the direct antithesis of each other.

it's my thought that the argument escalates because ming is used to getting everything he wants - except for tong, and now joe. when joe begins to push him away and deny him his substitution for tong i think ming lashes out in his hurt with a thought of "it's happening again, why doesn't anyone want me?"

i will say while i do believe sol has good intentions for the most part his white knighting is getting a little irksome. while convenient, it just shows how much he's still hovering and laying in wait for a chance with joe - he, too, is not respecting joe's wishes. no is a complete sentence, sol.

and then things continue back at home and joe finally, finally throws ming's words back at him: if i'm so terrible to be with, if you're so great, why are you wasting your time with me?

and ming doesn't have an answer. what ming DOES have is another back embrace, arms wrapped around joe as he asks "don't you love me anymore?" but is he asking joe or tong?

"although i'm not as good as tong" even now joe's rampant self worth issues are still at play but at least he finally knows he's worth more than whatever this is.

then the phone rings and to me, ming looks skittish. he looks shaken. he's never seen joe so angry and he's scared and as the call progresses that fear morphs into rage when sol calls joe. and the thing is, regardless of who played the main role, ming was never going to be happy. it was either going to be joe or tong playing opposite sol and neither of those things would have been acceptable.

and then i said, out loud, in my quiet office: OH! and promptly lost my shit in the group chat.

ming doesn't look wholly present after his act of violence. his face is vacant, like he isn't completely seeing or grasping what he's just done. i get the impression that ming isn't mentally well; stress and fear and anger have a way of making people do really fucking stupid things and as these things happen you risk falling into the sunk cost fallacy - you've already gone this far, you can't stop now - which all aligns with the obsessive behavior we've seen from ming in the past.

as joe wakes up and they talk once again joe doesn't blame ming, he blames himself for not seeing the writing on the walls even though it was written in invisible ink.

"all these times we were together did you ever love me?"

"you can't tell?"

again, so much of the blame and emotional responsibility of their situationship is put on joe and ming refuses to communicate any of his feelings, perhaps because he doesn't know how to after repressing everything for so long.

WE DIDN'T GET HOT KINKY CHAINED UP SEX THOUGH, WHY DOES GOD HATE ME SPECIFICALLY

but the way joe looks at ming as they linger there in the wake of joe's request looks like a goodbye, the way his eyes soak in every detail of ming's face. despite all of this and the nightmare it has turned into he did love ming, perhaps still does, and he does have some of those good memories he was so desperate to keep.

though like.. joe.... maybe we could consider a different career path??? instead of just jumping to risking our lives? like sure food service sucks, cashiering sucks, etc. but you aren't in danger of falling off any cliffs, you know? and let's be real, he could just go into modeling with those looks.

it's my impression that when ming calls joe he looks haggard, like he's lost numerous nights of sleep (and we really don't know how much time has passed) but either way it does seem like he's at least done some amount of reflecting. his voice comes across soft, subdued, and sincere.

and after everything, back in the present, we see ming. he's still in the apartment, desperately calling joe's name all these years later, still unable to sleep and waiting for joe to come home just like he asked him to years ago.

maybe ming never wanted to enter the entertainment industry before, but he has now. perhaps it was never for the attention or the money, maybe he chose to promote those watches because it was a reminder of the gift from joe. and maybe this job, in this specific industry, is the closest he can feel to joe now. and maybe with new influence and connections ming can find out why he was never able to tell joe he loved him before he lost him.

WHO KNOWS, NOT ME, CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT THO

[nctstar]

won't you stay inside?

labyrinth | ch. 2

You were scared that after all that, there was no love left in your body, not a single shred, no matter how much you dug.

pairing: hyuckren x fem!reader

word count: 2.8k

genre: mystery-thriller, angst, romance

warnings: profanity (use of fuck, shit), polyamory, kissing, domestic disputes (reader yells and everyone is very emotional), crying, severe headaches, slight violence (reader accidentally hits someone), panic attacks, road accidents

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my imagination. I don't know the nct members and don't claim that they act like this in real life. I also don't condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic. I'm not a mental health expert and don't claim to be at all, if you are struggling please find some resources to help yourself or dm me for support <3

a/n: FINALLYYY the continuation is here! i am pleased to announce that I have thought of the entire story for this fic and i am hoping that i can be somewhat consistent in updating this from now on. things have definitely picked up haha :D would love to know what people think about this <3

“Honey? You alright?” Your knuckles were turning white, tendons contracting, as if to anchor yourself post the new text message sitting in your inbox. You felt a warm hand on your hair, Renjun’s brown eyes looking into yours, infused with concern and confusion. Across from you sat Haechan, the sun hitting the back of his head and tracing a soft, angelic line around the outline of his body, eyes lightened by the same bright rays. The metal chopsticks clanked on the side of the bowl as he brought his attention to you. It was in that moment, the split second that it took for Haechan to put on that façade, that you felt like everything was wrong again.

But, as long as you stood on Earth, nothing else mattered but these two men. For them, you would ignore any oddities, any flashes of guilt or fear, anything that threatened the fragile fabric of the relationship between the three of you. You would throw that lost phone into the deepest oceans if you could, tear your eyes away, switch off your brain, just so you could wake up with your legs tangled with theirs.

You know you couldn’t do that. But that was the sacrifice you were willing to make during times like this.

The tendons in your hands loosened, blood rushing back to the tips of your fingers. You answered cooly, “Yeah. Just not used to sleeping so well.” Renjun caressed you as he did on most days, starting at the crown of your head, pressing your hair gently onto your neck, finishing off with circles between your shoulder blades. You took his other hand, grazing your lips on the soft skin, smelling like honey and sweet waffles. “You going to work today?”

Renjun sighed, Haechan’s chair grazing against the tiles as he threw his head back, letting the hair move from his forehead. “Yeah, hon. You guys will be okay, right? I could take the day off-“

“It’s alright.” Haechan flicked the handle of the sink, a steady stream of water running over his hands. Your eyes couldn’t leave the glint of the ring as he washed his heads, and you watched closely as they shook a little as he spoke. “We’ll be alright, right, baby?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.” You smiled at him, tilting your head up so he could walk over and press a kiss to your nose. His breath smelt like coffee as he sighed, forehead pressed to yours, brown eyes watery and intense gazing into yours. His fingers brought your chin closer to him, letting his lips taste yours.

When he pulled away, Renjun was putting on his coat at the door. Shuffling off your high chair, you stepped up to him, taking his hands in yours. “Take…take care of yourself, okay?” He smiled, muttering cute under his breath and leaning over to kiss you twice, second time much deeper as he brought your hips flush against his. “See you tonight, my love.”

As soon as the door shut, you heard Haechan’s body and the layers of clothing he had on crinkled and rustled as he almost leapt off his chair. “So, what do you wanna do today, baby? Renjun told me you don’t have to go into work.”

You fought the frown that was forming on your forehead, uneasy at the lie that Renjun had clearly told him. I mean, was it really a lie if there was no work to begin with? “Y-yeah. Yeah, we have the day to ourselves.” You walked over to him, the smell of him growing more and more intense as you did. You sighed, looking up at his face.

He was definitely different. But he was here. And he was yours.

His hands landed on your waist and squeezed tenderly, making you wrap your arms around his body, side of your head pressing against his chest. Your heart was warm, but your brain buzzed. Your legs felt like jelly as you opened your mouth, closing it again before you couldn’t help yourself. “What…what happened to you?”

There was a flash in his eyes, something that changed at shutter speed, but it was gone before either of you could catch it. “I really don’t know. But,” he stroked a stray piece of hair away from your face as you looked up at him, trying to read him. “I remember you.”

∞

You shivered, one hand dug in the depths of your coat pocket while the other remained gloveless, allowing you to snatch hasty glances at your phone. Not a single notification. You sighed, heart pounding and ankles wobbly from the wind.

The warmth of the restaurant taunted you. Couples under muted lights, soft touches and the clanking of cutlery as they ate, time forced to stand still for these moments of tender expression. Yet here you were, stockings rubbing uncomfortably against the skin of your freshly shaved legs, nose frozen in the cold.

You fought yourself in your head before taking out your phone to type an angry text, embarrassment quickly turning into rage.

haechan

where are you? it’s freezing out here ☹

You frowned, chills settling deep in your stomach. Swallowing, you texted back.

me

I’m right here??

You paused, looking up to see the blurry outlines of the street sign move in and out of focus in the falling snow.

me

la vie?

haechan

shit.

i’m at another place.

15 minutes away.

Your body shivered once again, this time making you squat down on the side of the road. You looked around, desperate for warmth.

haechan

so sorry. there are so many french restaurants around here.

me

is that where you used to take haeun?

You regretted it as soon as you hit send, but you were biting your lip in a sudden fit of overwhelming emotion, body shaking not just from the ice falling like spikes onto your face. Your eyes welled up as you watched the read on the screen, conversation halted.

”_?”

When you looked up, a lone tear travelled down your face, and you marvelled at its ability to persevere, to not freeze over at once.

Renjun towered over you, a woman you hadn’t seen before strung on his arm. She crouched down almost immediately, placing her gloved palm on the small of your back. “Are you okay?” Her Korean rolled off her mouth with ease. You blinked, and suddenly, there was Haeun, her smile radiant, her hand warm on your back, the smell of baby powder dusting all around you.

The strange woman stared back at you, worry etched in her face. You nodded hastily, getting up before Renjun could come any closer. He tried to reach for you but you jerked away, your coat now feeling like bricks weighing your shoulders down. “I’m fine. I was just going home.” It was the stupidest and most obvious lie, but everything was too much, and you needed to leave.

“_?” Your name in the air for the second time, and you felt his arm around you before you saw his face. Haechan. You were trying to shrug him off, sudden panic and fear and guilt growing in the ends of your fingers, choking you from the outside in. His arms were gripping tighter and tighter around you, both arms wrapped around your middle, the air being squeezed out of every cell in your body. You gasped and gasped, but you felt like you were dying. Open mouth to scream, only to be met with silence, thick as honey and dread. No, no, no, STOP!

“Baby!”

You awoke with a sweaty whimper, tears soaking your face, the smell of Haechan’s body around you as your vision focused on his face. “Shh, shh…” His hands were on your face, your arms, your sides, but for a moment you were lost. Confused, like your mind had endless passageways you had never explored, and you were standing at a dead end.

“H-Hyuck?”

“Yeah, baby, right here.” His hand was warm on your skin, your hair splayed across his lap, and you were suddenly aware of the weight of your head pressing into his thighs. Shooting up, you groaned as your vision shook, heart pounding and bile creeping up your throat. “Oh, it hurts, it hurts…”

“_, you don’t look well. Let’s go to the hospital.” You shook your head. “No, no, babe, I’m fine. You’re…” you sucked in a short breath, waiting for the throbbing in your head to melt away, throb a little quieter, so your thoughts could stop screaming in your skull. “You’re here. You’re here today.”

“Yeah.” He cupped your face in both his hands, pecking you on the lips. “I am.” Hanging your hand off his lifted arm, you sighed. “Usually there’s no one here. There’s no one. And I don’t want to make Renjun come home. You know how he is. He’d stay with me forever, and then get fired.” You folded your knees and wrapped your arms around them, while Haechan chuckled, holding one of your hands in his.

“You’re right. He would baby you for an entire week.”

“Like he doesn’t already.” You rolled your eyes in exaggeration, but images of Renjun in your brain penetrated your heart like a drug, and you thought of his hands that smelt like waffles, his hips when they rubbed against yours this morning.

“He loves you. So much. I can tell.”

“I love him more, Hyuck.” You thought of Renjun towering over you, the strange woman hanging off his arm, the way you yanked your arm away.

Why?

“Did you, wanna talk about it? Your dream, I mean.” You shook your head before you even registered that you were, as if your brain was working in spite of your thoughts. “I don’t really like to recall nightmares honestly. They’re usually stupid anyway.” Haechan hummed, you feeling the soft fabric of his freshly laundered shirt against your cheek as scooched over, nestling in his body. You traced lines on his arms, studying the moles that peppered his skin. You pecked where your head rested against his body, the detergent smell filling all the passageways in the maze of your brain.

You spent most of the day in his arms, in and out of dreamless slumbers and in between noises of the TV and the smell of lunch, and bungeoppang Haechan got for you after you whined about the scent driving you crazy.

As you bit into the soft bread, the hot red bean paste scalding the roof of your mouth, Haechan spoke. “So, this one is Lorelai.” You giggled. “Yeah, baby, according to literally all the other characters.”

“And that’s her daughter, right?” You both watched Lorelai and Rory shove indulgent amounts of fast food into their mouths, scattered over the coffee table as they made themselves comfortable on the couch. You nodded, engrossed in the dialogue. Haechan toyed with a few strands of your hair absentmindedly. The sky was now painting itself in shades of lilac and pink and deep orange, the temperature cooling with the remains of the day.

“She reminds me of you.”

“Haven’t heard that for the first time.” You chewed, the flavours feeling euphoric in your mouth. “God, I really needed this.”

“Me or the bungeoppang?” You both laughed in sync with the mother and daughter duo on the TV, and all four of you knew the answer.

The sound of the keys jangling had you shoving the rest of the treat in your mouth, leaping off the couch to run to the door. Haechan laughed, standing up after you, leftover chip crumbs falling to the floor.

“Tadaima!” It was a silly inside joke between you and Renjun, born after watching a lot of Japanese romantic movies and TV shows that Haechan found cringe, but the both of you, being hopeless romantics, pored over on slow weekday evenings.

“Hey, _.” As soon as the sound of your name hit your ears, you knew something was up.

Renjun looked lost in thought, and, as you looked into his face, you noticed the black shadows around his eyes, flickering across his face as if taunting you for not noticing them before.

“What’s wrong, baby?” You started to shake involuntarily, and he took your hands in yours, momentarily snapping out of his daze to try and comfort you.

You were getting déjà vu. The night that Renjun came home to tell you Haechan had gone missing, the moments before had played out exactly like this.

“Renjun.” Haechan’s voice was so stern, so much so it…confused you. Before you could turn around, Renjun stroked your cheek, willing your attention to him. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about everything. For not believing you, for keeping this a secret-“

“Keeping wha-“ Before you could even think to process it all, Haechan lunged past you, standing between you and Renjun, a physical block that you would have never expected. You moved to the side, studying the way Haechan’s eyes glinted with desperation, anger, and Renjun looking back apologetically. Your heart was sinking, your legs feeling like jelly, the familiar feeling of losing your grip on reality taking over all of your senses.

“What the fuck is going on?” Your voice wobbled, making both men turn to you. Haechan walked over, grabbing your shoulders, bending over to kiss your cheek. “I have to go.” The smell of the bungeoppang was still in the air, and you were thinking about how cruel the universe was, to line the edges of your nightmare with the sweet smell of something so delicate, so delicious, so special to you.

“What?” You could hardly believe it, but Renjun’s silence said it all. You stepped away, and Renjun’s eyes widened. “Honey, please-“

“No, fuck you both!” Your eyes were brimming with tears. You sucked in a breath, trying to calm your shaky body, the volume of your voice. “Why are you keeping shit from me? Don’t I mean anything to you?” The raspy whispers came out like a blunt knife, more painful as time stretched in front of you. Words were flying out of your mouth, and there was a small voice in the back of your head begging you to stop before it was too late. “Why, what happened to us?” You were sobbing now, and Renjun stepped forward, but you held up your hands, pushing the invisible barrier between the both of you towards him. “Don’t touch me right now. I just, I need…” you doubled over, your chest tightening, and you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t breathe at all, just like in the dream, with his arms squeezing the life out of you-

“Honey? Are you alright? Oh my god…” You felt Renjun’s arms around you, and in a panic, you stumbled away, hitting him in the face. Your eyes watered, watching the bruise bloom across his tender features, the split second where he hesitated before stepping towards you. “Renjun, fuck…” your words slurred, tears streaming down your face as the apartment was shrouded in the darkness of dusk. “I’m a fucking monster. You don’t deserve me.” You swallowed your tears, and you watched as Renjun’s face crumbled, a mix of fear and sadness drawn across his skin. Behind you, you heard Haechan sniffle, and you heard him say, “I’m gonna fix this, I promise. I love you so much.”

The last thing you remember was your front door slamming, the same one that had opened 24 hours ago, complete with the sound of your lover yelling that he was finally home, finally, after an entire year. The same one that you had embraced your lover in front of, kissing him with all the love you had to spare, pulling your body towards him so that he could feel you, all of you. You were scared that after all that, there was no love left in your body, not a single shred, no matter how much you dug.

Your feet were slapping across the tarmac, and you could hear Renjun’s voice yelling behind you, pleading with you. His voice began to fade as you ran across the street, took a few twists and turns, running like a madwoman with no sense of direction. Eventually, you were forced to slow as your vision turned blurry, the streetlights and headlights turning into blobs of red, yellow and green. In the midst of it all, your head had started pounding until it reached a peak, throbbing harder than ever had before, so hard you clutched your hair with both fists, groaning audibly. You heard a few gasps and murmurs of surprise, a few passerbys vocalising their concern near your ears.

“Miss, miss? You alright?” “Someone call…” All you could think about for a moment was the thing, the thing with a gazillion passageways in your head, and you were there. You were standing there. There was a light, and it was growing brighter and brighter, glowing like the sun, hot like the sun. But you thought for a second that it didn’t matter, that you were lost anyway, even if the light grew stronger, even in the moments when you thought you could see it all.

That’s when you opened your eyes, and the woman on the sidewalk screamed as the headlights of the bungeoppang truck headed straight towards you.

[fatmaclover]

12,19 or 23 for mac :-3?

12: What's a headcanon you have for this character?

unibrow mac my beloved <33 if we're talking something more serious though i think itd be that hes got. COMICALLY gay music taste. fag club music is definitely his jam but hes got to get into gaga n shit for my own mental health. this is supported by the fact that in its a very sunny christmas (sorry to bring this ep up again) he literally has TWO rainbow jimi hendrix stickers on his closet door 😭 bud.... howd it take you this long youre literally making your own allegories 😭. sorry im gonna take this one to also say i think he should be More tatted up. rob you can rid yourself of your tats all you want but i know mac gets a tattoo for every boyfriend hes able to keep for longer than a week in my heart. their name right on his skin. this is Always what makes them break up with him.

19: A relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

i feel like "like" is a pretty broad thing for me. i can fucking despise something but it can still be interesting and i still like it. UNFORTUNATELY this is the case about mac and his parents. dear God actually a wretched family dynamic that attacks literally all of my insecurities with some of my own family. something about always making noise, always making a show but never being seen or heard really gets to me. the way even now mac makes it blatantly obvious what hes needing/wanting for emotional fulfillment, but his friends treat him just like his parents did because thats easier than sitting down and dealing with his issues. hes always been ignored so whats a little more?

theres a lot i could go into with this one. how being ronnie the rat was the only time mac would get seen, so of course he was incentivized to keep being a total snitch. how it seems that even joyce ended up adopting those methods against mac, being plenty apathetic towards things that were important to him (not even saying that her blowing him off is undeserved. its very much deserved even if its still a total dick move and heartbreaking that joyce would actively see the environment mac grew up in, and then decide to keep that cycle going for him). the way macs immediate family has interacted with him has affected. so much of his life that its insane. sorry that i wrote a lot about this one its just been on the mind.

oh i suppose i could also say him and carmen. i love you carmen i wish mac was normal you two would be unstoppable as a tgirl and her pet doberman fag duo. im glad youre happy just raising a kid with ur husband tho pls never come back and enjoy your life away from these freaks

23: Favorite picture of this character?

here are the jokey contenders oh my fucking god im sorry. theyre the like basic bitch mac images but theyre so fucking funny to me i think about them 24/7. literally whenever i bring up if im soying over something i want you to picture the second image thats what im doing

for a more serious answer, genuinely i adore nearly every scene fat mac is in. though i suppose the penultimate image of fat mac WOULD be the how mac got fat one

sorry hes like an angel to me here. in the grimy fuckin confessional n all.

i think this one is like. very easily first more than that other one but my shame makes it tied for first instead

sorry. ill stop. dont give me power by letting me post mac images i will empty my whole camera roll going "and isnt he so cute here? and here? and look at his smile here. and look how cute he and joyce are here" until literally every frame of fat mac or mac and joyce in frame together is posted.

fav img of mac and joyce together is them writing in mac and charlie write a movie. purely because i associate it with you and rambling about joyce and joymac for hours. without that association is the fucking cowboy photoshoot from mac and charlie die. sorry. basic answer there too

[bleachrs]

my first valentine’s day w someone was perfect. just absolutely perfect. i fucking love my boyfriend

[thescarletwitchsapprentice]

A Pure Soul: Nearly Taken (Yandere!Wanda Maximoff x ADD!autistic!reader)

*Not my GIF.

Summary: The day (y/n) comes back to the compound after being told all those nasty things takes a toll on their mental health and self-esteem. Unfortunately it gets to a point that Wanda hoped it would NEVER reach.

Request?: Still none.

Word Count: 3,456

Warnings: Ableism, eugenics mention, r-word slur, attempted suicide, attempted overdose, hurt and comfort.

Notes: This is a sort of “in-between scene” from “A Pure Soul.” The rate of suicide is 3 times higher in autistic people because of the world’s lack of understanding and willingness to accommodate us. Plus being told the world would be better off without you, along with people looking for ways to make sure we’re not born....that’s gonna take a toll. So it makes sense for these feelings to emerge.

=============================================

You know that the world isn’t very kind to the disabled.

You know that the world wishes people like you wouldn’t exist.

But that doesn’t make what happened hurt any less.

You were out shopping when you ran into your best friend from high school. Except....this friend wasn’t the same as you knew them. No, instead they showed you their true colors.

“Oh hey, (y/n),” they said.

Tone has never been your specialty.

“Hey!” you exclaimed happily as you were looking through the books at your local bookstore. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! How are you?”

“Better. How’s the treatment coming along?”

This confused you.

“Treatment?”

They nodded.

“For that disease you call autism.”

This struck a chord, and it struck HARD. How could they say something like that?!

“D-disease?!”

They smirked.

“I mean, it just makes us humans lives harder to be around your kind.”

What?!

“What the hell’s gotten into you?!” you exclaimed. “I thought you were my best friend!”

“Oh?”

They pretended to wrack their brain.

“Oh! Yeah, I was such a great actor in that part. I should get an Oscar. Here’s the tea; I lost a bet and had to be your best friend for those four hellish years. I can’t believe they wanted me to suffer that much.”

Your heart began to crack. It was all....an act?

“You took my high school years away from me, made me miserable. I could’ve won prom royalty, but no one voted for me because I associated myself with your species. I’m glad you’re out of my life now. You’re nothing but a burden and the world would be so much better off without you. Why not do us that favor?”

Your heart shattered. You were so plagued with shock that you didn’t notice them push you to the ground and spit on you before walking away with a satisfied chuckle. For the next few minutes, you couldn’t say or do anything. You were just frozen to the spot, their words bouncing around your head.

Finally you were able to feel both the physical and emotional pain. Pursing your lips, you got up, kept your head down, and quickly left the bookstore, trying not to let the tears fall.

===============================================

In the elevator, heading up to your floor, you can barely form a new thought. All you can think of is that hurtful interaction. 

Burden, your kind, your species, disease....

It all hurt. 

And the worst part is that you can’t help but think that they’re right.

But your thoughts are jolted by the elevator bell. As usual you find the Avengers hanging out in the lounge. Nat and Clint are chatting with Wanda. Tony and Peter are working on homework. You can barely see what the others are doing. 

Almost instantly, Wanda’s eye falls on you. She has a smile on her face, but it falls when she sees you, as she instantly knows that something is wrong. 

“(Y/N)!” she whispers worried.

She rushes over and gives you a gentle hug, but you practically squeeze the life out of her. The other Avengers also come to your aid. 

“What happened?” Wanda asks you.

You gulp as she and Nat lead you to the couch.

“I....” you begin as you sit down. “I was out shopping....and I ran into my best friend from high school....”

You tell them the entire interaction. Shocked looks are nearly all around by the end.

“That’s seriously messed up,” Nat says in a mix of disgust and anger.

The others nod in agreement, except for Wanda. Instead she begins to tear up. 

“My sweet angel,” she weeps softly as she hugs you closer and pets your head. “Oh, my sweet, sweet angel. None of what they said is true, not one bit of it. You’re an absolute joy to have around and you’re one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. You bring so much to the Avengers and to our lives. Autism is not a disease. It’s a part of who you are, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“Wanda’s right,” Peter nods. “You’re wonderful, (y/n). You’re one of the best friends I could ever ask for.”

“And you bring a lot of new perspectives,” Nat adds. “You came into our lives when we needed you the most, especially Wanda.”

They all take turns giving you words of comfort and encouragement as well as letting you cry. Wanda stays the closest to you, to no one’s surprise, hugging you tightly. Her embrace is exactly what you need right now; so warm and loving. 

Tony, though not the most emotional person, does feel sympathetic and even angered at the person who said that to you; even though you’re on the opposite side of the Accords, he decides to get your favorite food for dinner. It’s not the greatest gesture of sympathy, but it’s definitely something. After that, you take a nice, warm shower and get into some fresh, soft pajamas. Wanda’s waiting for you in your bedroom, and surprises you with some soft socks that match your pajamas.

“I removed the fabric tags too,” she tells you.

Your heart melts a bit more for her. How someone as kind, attentive, and loving as her could ever be considered a terrible person is beyond you. You let her put them on your feet and they feel amazing. You wriggle your toes in them, smiling. 

“You like them?” she asks you.

“I love them,” you giggle before turning to Wanda. “And I love you.”

She smiles and gives you a kiss on the forehead.

“I love you too, my angel.”

The two of you spend the rest of the night together, cuddling up close with one another, watching sitcoms, singing quietly. You doze off in her arms.....

But that doesn’t mean it’s over.....

==============================================

You’re not someone who easily forgets how things make you feel, and what that person said still makes you feel like shit. Now whenever you go out, you’re worried that you’re going to run into them. You keep your guard up and walk as quickly as you can. Every outing feels like a fight for survival, but you try to stay strong so that you don’t bother the others. You try to keep a smile on your face. You need to be strong.....

.....But even the strong reach their limits.

It’s a little after you found out they became catatonic. You’re at a coffee shop, nearly empty, when someone else walks in. It’s a friend of that person. You keep your head low as they place their order; four cups of black coffee, extra hot. Your anxiety is increasing, but you don’t want this person to think you’re weak. You keep your back to them, hearing the door open again. 

The other person is called for their order. Maybe you can finally get out of here.

The next thing you know, you feel something steaming hot being poured down the back of your shirt, on your head, thrown in your face, (which you luckily cover most of with your arms) and splattered on your arms and legs. Standing up, you cry out in pain as you whirl around to see 4 people from high school, among them the friend of your former best friend.

“It’s your fault my best friend can’t function, you retard!” the friend snaps as they push you around roughly.

“No one wants you on this planet,” spits another.

“You’re nothing but a parasite!”

“You just weigh people down!”

“You’re an embarrassment to society!”

“Why don’t you just end this?”

“It’ll be better that way!”

“Your birth was a mistake!”

By this time, you’re hardly a thread’s width away from a meltdown and you look at the cashier for help, but nothing. You try to take out your phone to call for help, but you end up slipping on the coffee, falling to the ground hard and in an odd position, hearing a crack. Pain surges through your body as you look at your arms; burn marks are beginning to form.

After they kick at you for a bit and spit on you, they leave. You look up at the cashier. 

“Why....didn’t you help?” you whimper with a whistle in your voice.

No answer. 

They don’t help you up either. Crawling to the door, you use a nearby booth to bring yourself back up to your feet. Suddenly you feel an intense surge of pain in your left leg, and not just from the burns. You look to see that it’s swollen and turning reddish-purple. You reach into your coat and get out your phone only to discover that it’s dead. Wanda’s going to be worried sick....you hate making her worry, and she’s been worried sick these last few weeks to the point where it’s taking a toll on her; so on the way back, you decide to take one worry out of her life for good.

======================

It’s dark when you get back to the compound. And lucky for you, the elevator is closed for repairs. You limp up the stairs, finally reaching the compound. As quiet as a dust mite, you open the door, biting down on your lips to keep yourself from crying out in pain; unfortunately, your lips took some burn damage as well. Limping to the bathroom, you shut and lock the door. You search the medicine cabinet and find some pills.

“This should do the trick,” you whisper.

You try to quietly position yourself on the floor so that you won’t hit your head. You want to be able to pass as peacefully as possible. But something gives in your left leg and you fall, letting out a loud cry of agony. Realizing your mistake, you quickly fiddle with the lid of the bottle as you hear footsteps rush in. You finally get the lid open and begin to pour out the whole bottle into your hand, hoping to get it in in time--

Click!

The lock turns scarlet, clicks, and the door swings opens. 

“(Y/N)!”

A terrified Wanda immediately snatches the pills and bottle from you with her powers. She makes them disappear before heading to your side, tears already flowing from her eyes.

“My sweet angel.....” she squeaks as she kneels in front of you gently taking ahold of your hands. “I didn’t realize you were feeling this terrible. I’m so sorry things have reached this point.”

You look away guiltily. 

“No, I’m sorry....it’s my fault. I never said....anything. You....you’ve been so stressed these past few weeks....all of you. I didn’t want to make it worse on you, so....I just kept quiet.”

Wanda shakes her head.

“You have nothing to apologize for, (y/n). It can be scary, but there’s no shame in reaching out. We all need help sometimes.”

Other footsteps rush in.

“What happened?” Nat asks. “Did (y/n)---?”

“Almost,” Wanda gulps. “We need to get them to the emergency room.”

“I’m fine,” you lie.

“Are you fine?” Wanda asks.

You realize that it’s pointless to lie, and you shake your head.

“No, I’m not....”

“Then we need to take you to the emergency room.....”

That’s when she sees the burns and leg.

“Especially to treat these.....what happened?”

As they carry you to the car, you tell them about the run-in at the coffee shop, them pouring the hot coffee on you, how they were telling you all of these things, how the cashier did nothing to help, how you heard that crack. Both of them are disgusted and horrified at those monsters.

“I don’t care what they say,” Nat tells you as they get you inside. “I’m glad that you’re here.”

“I am too,” Wanda agrees as she gets in the front seat. “We’re here for you.”

“But.....my autism.....”

Wanda gently takes ahold of your fingers, careful to avoid the burns.

“My angel.....I can only imagine how isolating it feels to be in a world that’s not made for you, but your autism is part of who you are. It’s what makes you unique. If the world refuses to accommodate for people like you on their own, we’ll help them to see that they need to, and we’ll help advocate with you.”

Nat nods as she starts the car up and the three of you head for the ER.

“I....I feel selfish worrying you like this and even attempting....I just thought....you’ve been so stressed and I thought it’d be better to take one worry out of your life.”

“You have nothing to feel selfish about,” Wanda assures you. “What you did wasn’t selfish. You’re in pain, and wanting to do something to stop that pain isn’t selfish. But there are better ways to deal with the pain, and I want to help you with those. (Y/N), I can say with 100% certainty that I’m glad to have you in my life, through the good and the bad.”

Tears flow down your face as the three of you silently drive to the ER.

=============================================

It takes several hours for you to be treated, along with a few more hours of consultation for your mental health. Some of the burns are treated through surgery, so you have to stay for a little over a week to make sure you recover and stabilize. Your leg is put in a cast, and Wanda comes to visit you everyday. You feel much better with her and Nat.

A psychologist comes in to discuss a safety plan with you. You decided to ask Wanda if she’d come and discuss it with them. She said yes and Nat also decided to help. You all work out what works in terms of coping mechanisms, people you can talk to, calming techniques, etc,. The psychologist also recommends regular counseling. Wanda asks if there are any remote options for counseling, as it’s going to be difficult for you to get there with your leg, (Also, she’s a little worried that the therapist might try to take you away from her, but she does show concern for your leg) and to her relief, there is. 

You’re discharged after about a week, but you’re not to be left alone for a few days to another week or two, just to be sure. Well, it’s more of Wanda’s recommendation than psychologist’s orders, but the psychologist also thinks that that could be a good idea. You’re not really complaining; it’s more time to spend with Wanda. And she’s certainly not complaining either.

For that time, especially, she makes sure you know that you’re loved, wanted, valued. She practically dotes on you; as if she hadn’t been doting on you before, she’s especially pampering you now. The other Avengers also get the 411, and decide to help. If you need pain or sleep medications, one of them brings the proper dose to you. They take turns spending time with you and getting to know you more. If they need to go out on a mission, Wanda volunteers to stay with you, but if she’s absolutely needed there, she entrusts your care to Vision, a robot who’s exceptionally caring. You and Wanda regularly discuss possibly adding him to the relationship, but you’re not sure if she’s being serious or not. 

On one night, Wanda’s caring for you. After applying the prescribed cream on your burns, she helps you find an oversized t-shirt to wear as PJs. 

“This one’s softer than the others,” you note.

“I went looking for a shirt with a softer material than normal,” she tells you as she prepares a small dose of melatonin for you, one that you’ve been taking to combat the nightmares of those events in the hospital. “I know how much it tends to make you feel discomforted if there is one. I also made sure it was a tagless shirt.”

You smile and sigh.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve an angel like you, Wanda,” you tell her.

Hearing this she smiles and blushes.

“If anyone’s the angel, it’s you,” she says as she gives you the melatonin. “You’ve been there for me even when I’m at my absolute worst.”

“So have you.”

You take the melatonin before Wanda brings you your toothbrush and toothpaste. You brush thoroughly before spitting it into a cup that Wanda disposes of. 

“You know, I could go to the bathroom and do this myself,” you tell her kindly.

“I know,” she sighs. “I’m just worried, my angel.”

“What if I wash my face tonight with the door open?” you suggest.

Wanda gives this a little thought and nods. 

“I can work with that.”

Using your crutches, you walk to the bathroom where you sit on a stool in front of the sink. You wash and dry your face before heading to the bed with Wanda helping you get tucked in.

“You’re seriously an angel,” you tell her. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone outside of my family that’s been as concerned about my well-being as you.”

“And you’re too sweet,” she smiles again as she finishes getting ready for bed herself. “If anyone’s the undeserving, I don’t deserve you.”

“No, it’s the other way around,” you say.

“No, I’m certain I’m right.”

You giggle.

“Wanda, if we try to prove one right over the other, we’ll be going at this all night.”

She smiles as she goes over to the other side of the bed. 

“Well, I know you’re an angel,” she tells you as she gets under the covers. “You came to me in a dark time, and you shone a beam of sunlight through the shadow.”

The two of you look at each other as the fairy lights hang above you. Of course you’re looking at the bridge of her nose, but you can’t help but glance up at her eyes a few times; one time they catch you, and they are stunning. They’re like emeralds to you; vivid, entrancing, mystical. Just a single glance, and you know there’s so much to know about, so much to discover, and you become lost in them. 

“I’m so proud of you, (y/n).”

Wanda’s gentle voice echoes against your eardrums and dances around your mind, soothing you into drifting even more. But then she boops you on the nose, making it twitch like a bunny’s and snapping you out of your trance.

“Huh?” you ask, looking lost.

Wanda giggles.

“You are too cute,” she tells you. “I was saying that I’m so proud of you for pushing through all of this. It’s not the easiest thing to do, and.....well.....I’m glad you’re still alive, my sweet little sunbeam.”

You blush upon hearing this and turn away, but Wanda gently redirects your face forward.

“There’s no need to hide, my angel. I want to see your lovely face.”

At that moment, you begin to feel drowsy and bring yourself closer to her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough, Wanda,” you sigh.

She brings you in closer and you melt into her embrace.

“Being with you, and you being safe and happy and alive.....that’s the only thank you I need.”

Leaning in, she kisses you gently on your forehead and you shyly return one on her cheek. 

“Goodnight, my angel,” she tells you as she brushes a strand of hair out of your way.

“Wait,” you say as she turns to switch the lights off. “Will....will you sing me those lullabies again? Please?”

“Of course,” she smiles. 

Turning the lights off, she returns to embrace you and softly sings the Sokovian lullabies her parents used to sing to her. As you drift off to sleep, you don’t know what’s going on in her mind. What’s going on with her mind? Her master plan, of course. Tonight’s the night she will finish what she started. Those monsters at the coffee shop messed with the wrong person. For the past few nights, she’s been paying them visits, doing the same things she did with your former best friend, and sending subconscious suggestions for them to gather in one place, thinking they’d be safer together. And now they have.

Tonight she’s going to make sure their minds are gone for good, but not before making them feel the pain and agony she imagines you felt. Her anger with them is in full throttle, so it’s going to be even worse for them. Telekinesis, fear projection, hypnosis, inducing extreme fear, she’ll do whatever she has to. Wanda will not leave until they’re nothing more than hollow husks, shadows of their former selves. With how they’d been acting on those nights, and how much Wanda has done so far, it won’t take too long. 

Because no one-and she means no one-gets away with hurting her precious angel.......ever.

[autisticandroids]

do you know any fics about dean and meg fucking while thinking about cas? i think it will be hot and kinda sad.

i don’t and i’ve searched through like the entire dean/cas/meg tag on ao3 (there is NOTHING good it ALL sucks) BUT i can tell you that there is a secret good season nine that lives in my head (concocted in conjunction with @lesbiansamwinchester) where meg lives and they complete the trials at the end of season eight with meg as the demon they’re curing and sam dies BUT sam comes back as a ghost tied to the impala but doesn’t show himself to dean so dean doesn’t know, but he DOES show himself to kevin and kevin ends up stealing the impala and joyriding around the united states having a coming of age arc while sam just kinda. hangs out and tries to mentor him semi-successfully. BUT it does get them out of the bunker.

meanwhile in the bunker, dean is a depressed wreck because sam is dead and he can’t even sell his soul about it because hell is locked, meg is a wreck because she’s been a demon for thousands of years but now she’s a human so she has a “conscience” and she has to reckon with all her “atrocities” and also because meg has always been kind of a wreck she just puts it aside to follow orders or to survive but now there aren’t any orders and she’s not in any danger so she’s slowly going insane having to “face” her own “problems” and “trauma,” cas is a wreck because, well, he’s human now and also the angels fell and it’s his fault, but also like. he’s doing the best of any of them, because 1) he’s not being forced to interact with society he’s just hanging out in the bunker with his friends who are used to him and know how to interact with him and accept him, he is part of a community (even if it is only a community of three) and he belongs there, 2) Dean Is Being Nice To Him Right Now, always a prime factor in cas’ mental health, and 3) dean and meg both need him to take care of them emotionally and that’s something he can do, he’s good at being therapyfriend. (they also to an extent need him to care for them physically and he’s worse at that but he approaches it with gusto and he learns. this is normally a role dean takes on but he is too fucked up even for that during the early parts of this arc; one of the signs that he’s slowly healing is that he starts cooking for cas and meg). 

anyway one of the things that happens is that meg and cas are sleeping together, and it’s very much a no feelings, fuckbuddies thing (although they are both aware that meg is deeply in love with him and simply do not talk about it or admit they are aware of it out of deference to her pride. you know. normal shit) BUT dean’s ideas about sex are Diseased and he thinks meg and cas are Dating Seriously, With Intent To Marry And Everything, (because cas is innocent and pure and could NEVER just be having no strings attached sex, that’s for evil irredeemable man disease havers like dean) and he is just. so mad about it. That Demon Skank Is Manipulating Cas With Her Feminine Wiles, Just Like She Did To Sam (cut to meg crying in her room because cas will never love her back while cas obliviously tries to make everyone a nice breakfast because he loves his friends <3!) like dean is so mad. he’s sublimating his [REDACTED CAS RELATED FEELINGS] into protectiveness. 

now into this mix you throw in one (1) adrenaline and belligerent sexual tension filled post-hunt hookup between meg and dean. cas stayed home at the bunker on this one so dean and meg are alone which like never happens and they do some violence together and then they end up fucking afterwards because of the adrenaline rush and because the belligerent sexual tension they have is off the chain. this pushes dean into a complete meltdown because he’s like i fucked my best friend’s girl, the ultimate betrayal, how can i ever redeem myself oh god, oh woe is me, meanwhile when they get back to the bunker and dean goes and hides in his room, meg goes up to cas and is like by the way i fucked dean, wanna hear about it? and cas is like Yes Of Course Please Tell Me Every Detail I Am Very Intrigued and then they have deeply weird sex while cas updates his fantasies about what dean would be like as a lover. 

anyway normally i’m a “i enjoy megstiel because i love the tragedy of cas is in love with dean, but can’t have him, so he’ll use meg as a substitute / meg is in love with cas, but she can’t have him emotionally, so she’ll use fucking him as a substitute” person but actually i think they could work something out and be in a triad where everyone is emotionally satisfied. like i think meg being there might actually help cas get with dean, (”if you’re so concerned about protecting cas’ honor from my feminine wiles, you’ll just have to join us, dean-o” and then slowly lifting veils of plausible deniability until dean has to admit that he has feelings for cas), and once it’s less of an eternal pining situation with dean, cas might be able to genuinely give something back to meg, emotionally speaking. 

also if they’re both fucking cas, dean and meg’s dynamic is...... incredible. it’s a special little prickly but ride or die friendship that i’ve invented completely in my brain but i love. they’re the definition of vitriolic best buds. also they have sex but only when they’re housewifing around the bunker waiting for cas to get home like a nineteen fifties husband. (when i say housewifing i mean dean is obsessively cleaning the kitchen and making dinner and meg is sitting on the couch eating chips).

i know this isn’t quite the angst that you asked for but it’s what i have. in my brain.

[shatteredatthealtarofwinchester]

Umm, wait. It's more a 15x20 rant than an analysis. I'll call it... a ranalysis. 😏

I just saw J*reds last online panel again, where he called the finale "magical full circle storytelling". 15x20 is his "favourite episode ever" because he "is a fan of good storytelling". Uh-huh... Okay. So the following just was built on pure rage. This makes it more of a rant than an analysis. As usual. You guys know me.

Well. There are various possibilities here, Jared. Possibility A is, you are lying, what I do not believe. To lie that obvious you have to be a talented actor, which you are not. Possibility B is, you really think that way. You believe, the finale was "magical full circle storytelling" and you actually loved it, it was indeed your favourite episode. This again brings me to the only conclusion: You have no fucking idea about good storytelling, not even decent storytelling.

Lets look at every single ending, shall we?

Dean. We all know you think Deans death was a "success story." You think that Dean "ultimately gave his life for his number one on planet." I am sitting here, laughing in pain. First of all, let me say that Dean didn't died for Sam, Jared. He didn't took a bullet for Sam or sacrificed himself or whatsoever. He died in the most ridiculous accident I've ever seen. But lets go back to the very start.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John. Not because Dean wanted to, because he was forced into it! Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You get what I mean, Jared? Since you own a mental health campaign, you should. And guess what Dean did? He kept fighting. Despite everything, he kept fighting. And his mindset slowly changed. He understood that his father was an abusive bastard, he unterstood that he was forced into a life he never wanted. He understood that he is more than that, that he is not like John. He changed. He opened up. He even wanted to retire. And now it gets interesting, because something happened that REALLY is the start of magical full circle storytelling. Something in Deans mind clicked while Cas' confession. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he had a chance. A choice. The start of his very own life. Free will, baby! Well, no. Because exactly in that moment he stumbled into a nail and died. Do you even realize how dumb this is? Do you even realize what you did? Wait, it gets worse. Yeah, that's possible, even if you dont believe it. In heaven he goes right back to the life he has spent his whole journey learning to free himself from: Left only with the persons he had been forced, time and time again, to sacrifice his identity, goals, and soul for. None of the family, support, or love, nothing he has built or chosen for himself remains. This is not magical full circle storytelling, Jared. This is abysmal pointless butchering. This has NOTHING, not a single percent of magical or good storytelling! YOU call that magical? YOU call that a success? Seriously, what shit are you on? If it would've been full circle storytelling, there is not one single fucking possibility that Dean would've died in the end. I don't know whats going on in your twisted brain, but Deans death never was and never will be a success. To make it magical full circle storytelling, he MUST have been the one who survives and overcomes his trauma (and raise a certain someone from perdition.)

Sam. He's actually the one who kinda got the best ending, huh? I mean, it was fucking horrific, but it was the best if you compare it to the others. When Sam was young, he wanted a normal life far away from hunting, while the truth is, Sam always was more like John than Dean ever will be. Over time his mindset clearly changed. He even said: "When Dean came to get me at school, I told myself, one last job, you know, (...) it was always one more job and then I was gonna go back to law and to my life. I guess, I really understand now that THIS is my life. And I love it." Sam couldn't imagine a normal life anymore. He had the chances for that and he declined. He loved hunting. He loved working and making progress with the BMOL, he very much enjoyed being a MOL and even took the lead often. I can clearly picture Sam as the lead of a rebuilt version of the MOL, that would've made sense. What did Sam get? Right, the ending he didn't wanted anymore, but since we yeet every single development of every single character out of the window, Sam has to be Season 1 Sam again, BUT with a fancy party wig! And there he is! And what a happy life he lives, exactly what he wanted, woohoo! So much joy, so much fun! Oh look, there is BlurryWife™, who Jared made sure is not Eileen, because “Dean wouldn’t want Sam to be with Eileen”. But wait, didn't Dean wanted Sam to be with Eileen? Didn't Dean literally said: "If it was to work, Eileen, you know... She gets it, she gets us, she gets the life. You could do worse. And she could certainly do better, like SO much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy." Yeah, NO. This was just a writing AND acting AND producing mistake and had no matter at all. *cough* So... As you can see, magical storytelling strikes again. I can feel the magic, I can feel the full circle, it's... Amazing...

Castiel. Castiels story was magical, it was mindblowing. I've never in my entire life seen such a meaningful and deep storyline and I mean this. It's fucking massive. There is this blunt angel soldier, one of the post powerful forces, who was built to blindly obey, who lived for aeons of years, who wasn't supposed to feel anything, but he fell for a broken, suicidal, abused human who never felt loved or worthy the very moment he touched him. He fell so hard he rebelled against his own race, against his own family, against everything he had without any safety. He was the ONLY one in Chuck-knows-how-many universes who GREW outside of Chucks CONTROL! His love was so fucking massive, it couldn't be controlled by the God who built every-fucking-thing. Chuck built millions(?) of parallel universes, heaven, hell, life, death, purgatory, the empty, he created every single being, the light, darkness, every single angel, demon, leviathan, monster, animal, plant, sea, blade of grass, every centimeter of mountains, the four seasons, emotions, what the fuck ever. Everything you can ever think of, Chuck created it. And he controlled it. In every single one of his fucking millions of universes. But not Castiel.This is actually not possible. You can't outrun god. You can't outrun the one who creates, writes and controlles everything. But Cas did. Out of love. And not only that, you also imply that what happened between Dean and Cas was the only thing  that was real. Everything else was corrupted, controlled, manipulated, written by Chuck. But what happened between Dean and Cas, he couldn't affect.

Seeing Cas standing there, crying, confessing his love to Dean actually even makes me think that Dean made Cas human. Dean completed Cas. Cas didn't simply said "I love you", he actually said "In all existing universes, in all millions, all aeons of years, you are my only happiness." And Cas completed Dean. He freed Dean. While Dean was used to being left, was used to feeling worthless and unlovable, Cas saw Dean exactly the way he is and chose to stay. With every obstacle, every difficulty he loved him even more and yes, freed him from the abusive structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. Something that no one else could, not his parents, not Amara, not God, not even Sam. Beautiful, isn't it? Unique. Mindblowing. Pure. You enjoyed it? Let's fuck this up in 3...2...1...

Castiels story ended exactly the same way it started. A blunt angel who doesn't care about people and feelings, blindly carrying out instructions from a new God, obeying heaven. No progress. They threw away 12 years of character development and managed to give him the same stupid and senseless ending like they did with Dean. Dean died and Cas... Wasn't there?! WHAT!? There is no single fucking way Cas wouldn't save Dean or wouldn't be there when Dean enters heaven! There. Is. No. Fucking. Way! The way they represented Cas in the end doesn't only imply that Dean isn't important to Cas anymore, he even ended up exactly the same way as if Season 4-15 wouldn't have happened. The ending is exactly the same! He's with God in heaven, supporting him with instructions, not caring about anything else.

Okay, I got it. Summarizing you can say: Jareds "magical full circle storytelling" is to yeet 95% of the past 15 years. No other characters matter, the story itself doesn't matter, every single characters development doesn't matter, it even doesn't matter what the brothers really want, they don't get it anyway.

Okay. But that's not all. As if this wasn't bad enough, they didn't just butchered ... EVERYTHING, they also salted and burnt every single Mantra they ever stood for. I'll make these short, I promise!

Team Free Will. *snort* Dean couldn't escape his fate, he always believed he'll die on a hunt as Daddys blunt instrument and he did. He kept fighting to die exactly the way he felt he was "supposed to". Message? No matter how hard you keep fighting, no matter how long you'll keep it up, you can't escape your fate. Sam couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started. Cas couldn't change his fate, he ended how he started, same for Jack, he ended how he was supposed to. YEET THE FREE WILL, NONE OF THEM CAN CHANGE ANYTHING!

Family don't end with  blood. The biggest lie that has ever been told. Do I even have to explain that? No need, right? Don't make me wanna throw up again, please. We all know that 15x20 blasted "Family don't end with blood" in millions of pieces.

Always keep fighting. THE AUDACITY to praise that while Dean is dying! After everything Dean has dealt with, It makes me wanna scream. Dean kept fighting, he always kept fighting, no matter how hard it was, no matter what forced him to his knees, he stood up again, and if he wasn't able to stand up, he crawled. He kept fighting no matter what, despite everything. His mindset changed. He wanted to live, he wanted to experience things, feelings and people differently or even for the first time. He changed. He wanted to retire, toes in the sand. He knew he earned it. Thats why he kept fighting. For what? To die the very first moment he had a free will. To die the very first moment he had a choice, had a life to build for himself. Always keep fighting, but the moment you come close to what you want, what you fought for, you die. It's been more than 3 months and I am having tears in my eyes while typing this. As for Dean, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how long you fight, you don't reach what you deserve anyway. Give up. As for Sam, AKF leeds to Emptiness. Grief. Psychological Trauma. Mental illness. Absolutely nothing worth fighting for.

I wanna go cry now, bye.

[michaelmilligan]

Destiel fix-it fic (post 15x19)

Okay so this is 1,8k of fix-it for that horrible shit we call an 'ending'. Yes, I am still not over the finale. No, I will not take criticism at this time. (I meant to work on a genderfluid Dean(na) fic which will likely have several parts, but this wouldn't leave my brain so here you go. No beta, just pure rage against the machine that churned out the finale.) (Also my first time adding a cut so if it doesn't work please tell me.)

Dean hadn't taken it well. Not that Sam could blame him. He himself was still struggling with everything that had happened. Chuck snapping everyone away, the fear and the desperation... But they won, and everyone was back. Well, everyone except Cas.

Dean had said “just us” and Sam had said the same and they had driven for a while and it had been good to be on the road, to finally be free. But at the end of the day, it wasn't just them, and that was good too. Great even. There were Jody and the girls. Eileen. Donna. Charlie and Stevie. Garth and his family. All these people they knew and loved, everyone they cared about. Everyone was safe. Everything was good.

Except for Cas.

It had taken a few days for it to really sink in for Sam that he was gone. After all, he hadn't been there when it had happened. Hell, Dean had never even really told him how it went down. But Dean's grief was undeniable, the way he drunk himself into oblivion, much like the last time they had lost Cas, when they had also lost their mom. Both losses had been temporary, but they hadn't known that at the time.

Now their mom was gone for good, up in Heaven and apparently happy. And Cas was gone too, probably in the Empty if he was dead. Sam missed him, of course he did. He was their best friend, the other father in their trio, however weird that sounded. Also Sam also missed Jack, not knowing if they would ever see him again, now that he was almighty and all that. But Sam handled it, he always handled it, and he had Eileen to keep him company, to hold him when he needed to cry.

Dean had noone, hadn't had anyone in years. Maybe he had never had anyone who would do that for him, and Sam was starting to worry about Dean's liver as well as his mental health. Not that any of them could be great in that department, but so far they had always been able to keep it together. Now Sam wasn't so sure.

As he walked into the kitchen, he half expected to find Dean slumped over, drooling onto the kitchen table with a half-full bottle of whiskey in his hand. Instead, the room was empty, no empty bottles in sight. Huh.

Sam set out in search for his brother, trying his room first but finding it just as empty. It took him several minutes before he ducked his head into the library, and finally saw Dean sitting at a table, several books open in front of him.

“Dean? What are you doing?”

Dean's shoulders tensed for a moment, but he didn't turn around.

“Research,” he said gruffly, sounding like he had woken up less than an hour ago.

“On what? You got a case?” Sam came into the room, looking over the books. He saw Enochian, an angel summoning spell, a dictionary... “What's this for?”

Dean pressed his lips into a thin line. “Cas,” he croaked out. “We've got to... there has to be a way.”

“Dean. I thought you said he was dead. You know we can't... There's no way to get him from the Empty.”

Dean gritted his teeth, looking like he was about to snap. “That dude almost got Lucifer out, but we can't get Cas back?” He sprang up, walking towards the nearest shelf just to stare at it.

“Dean. What even happened? How did... you never told me what happened,” Sam tried, hoping against hope that his brother wouldn't just clam up like every other goddamn time he tried to talk about something difficult.

“He... he just. Goddamnit, he said- He- he made a deal with the Empty and then-”

“Wait, what? The Empty was there? Why the hell would he make a-”

“No, I mean. Before. He made the deal to save Jack, back when... It agreed to take him instead of Jack, but only... only if... and he said...” Dean's shoulders were shaking as he leaned his forehead against the shelf. “He... he summoned it. The Empty. To take him away so it would take Billie too. And I... I couldn't do anything. There was... we had no weapons, nothing to fight the Empty, nothing to fight Billie and he...” Sam couldn't see his face, but he could hear the tears in his voice.

“Okay. Okay.” Sam let out a deep breath. It wasn't the first time one of them had sacrificed himself for the others. And like any other time, Dean couldn't let it go. Well, not that Sam had always been able to. “So you want to get him back. You think that's wise?”

Dean whirled to him, his eyes hard and full of tears. “What?”

“I'm just saying... Cas sacrificed himself to save you. And now you're going to endanger yourself to get him back, do you think that's really what he wants? And even if we had a way of getting to the Empty, who says that we're gonna be able to get Cas out, or that the Empty won't just snatch him again as soon as we're back on Earth?”

But Dean's face had completely shuttered closed. This was one of the times were no logical arguments would get through to him.

“I'll find a way,” he said, turning back to the shelf to sort through the books.

Sam sighed, and after watching his brother for a while, he left him to it, deciding to let him grieve in his own way.

It was about three days later when Sam heard a noise from the entrance. Frowning, he walked towards it, wondering if Dean had invited anyone. Eileen wasn't scheduled to come over, but maybe she had wanted to surprise him? He had told her not to come, didn't want her to see Dean like that, but then again when did she ever listen to him?

When he saw who was coming down the stairs from the entrance, Sam felt his eyes widen.

“Jack!”

The boy – God, whatever – smiled and raised his hand.

“Dean! Dean, Jack is here,” Sam called in the direction of the corrdor, then hurried over to him. He hesitated, not sure if you were supposed to hug the newly appointed God. But Jack was his son and he had missed him, so in the end he pulled him into a tight hug. Jack returned it, squeezing him and still smiling when they pulled apart.

Which was when Sam noticed the other figure coming down the stairs and he gasped. “Cas?” He looked at Jack, who just kept smiling, and Sam laughed and pulled Cas into a hug, too. Cas returned it, though a little more carefully than Jack, and his smile wasn't as bright. Maybe a little... shy? Embarrassed?

“Dean? Dean! It's- Dean, get your ass over here!” Sam called again, hardly believing their luck.

Dean jerked awake to a stiff neck and an aching back, hunched over on the library table, drool on a three-hundred year old book. He thought he'd heard Sam, calling for him, and he got up to walk out of the library in spite of his protesting body. “Sam?” he called as walked along the corridor, anxiety forming in his gut. What if something was wrong? What if they were under attack? What if the next big villain – whoever that might be after thee actual God – was here to get them? Or maybe just some regular monster, ready to tear them apart, taking them by surprise?

Dean pulled his gun and tread carefully, peering around each corner before rounding it. He heard voices from the entrance, and by the time he was almost at the door, he heard a laugh. It sounded like Sam... He still peeked around the door frame before getting in and saw Jack, just standing there, looking comfortable.

“Jack?” Dean made his way over to him quickly, not believing his eyes. “What are you- I thought you-”

“Dean!” Jack beamed at him and Dean couldn't not pull him into a hug.

“Hey, kiddo.”

“Hi.” Jack squeezed him tight.

When Dean looked towards Sam, he also saw... no. This wasn't possible, was it? Dean pulled back, eyes wide, just staring for a moment before he turned towards Jack. “You- how-”

“I know I said I'd be hands-off, but...” Jack shrugged, looking apologetic. “I didn't want to be.”

Dean let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, his eyes going back to Cas. His eyes were prickling, and he suddenly noticed how Cas evaded his eyes, peering up at him from beneath his eyelashes almost shyly.

“Thank you,” Dean said to Jack, aware of the tremor in his voice, and then he rushed towards Cas.

“You goddamn- fucking moron,” he hissed as he wrapped him in the tightest hug he might have ever given anyone. “Stupid fucking dumbass.”

“Uh,” Cas made, sounding insecure. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean gripped him the shoulders when he pulled back, then put his hands on Cas' face. “You fucking- what does that even mean, huh? 'It's in the just saying it'. What the fuck. What the actual fuck!”

Cas squinted at him, opened his mouth, closed it again.

“You-” Dean cut himself off, running out of words, so he kissed Cas instead. It was a rough kiss, and long, and Cas seemed to have trouble keeping up, his hands coming up to claw at the flannel on Dean's back.

Dean was vaguely aware of a gasp behind him, but he was still laser-focused on Cas, glaring daggers at him.

“You maybe wanna re-think that?” He shoved him.

“Uh, I- I do?” Cas said, still looking terribly confused, and Dean couldn't help but kiss him again, just as roughly at first but getting softer over time until they were just breathing each other's air.

“You fucking asshole. You could have said something sooner! Before you got your ass dragged to the-” Dean stopped, feeling his face going through several emotions at once.

Cas squinted at him. “So could you.”

Dean stared at him, hearing Jack say “What's wrong, Sam?”, and yet he still couldn't have cared less.

“Goddamnit, you're right, we're both dumbasses.” When Cas opened his mouth, he added: “No, Cas, 'trusting' really doesn't cut it here.”

Cas huffed out a laugh – and wasn't that a sight for sore eyes. Dean kissed him again, hearing Jack in the background: “Wait, is this something new? I always thought they were just not very public about it.”

Dean grinned against Cas' lips, and Cas smiled back as Dean pulled him into another hug.

Meanwhile, Jack was still talking: “You know what, I think they need a minute. And I want to eat Crunch Cookie Crunch. Do you still have any?”

[darkmulti]

Mine

Ex boyfriendYandere!San x female reader

⚠️Warnings: possessive behaviour, horror au, language, spanking, fear kink, ddlg, kidnapping, mentions of non con, torture, death, blood, physical abuse (slapping, spanking, pinching, kicking), mental abuse, not a full smut but talks about a little, fluff ending❣️

Please read at your own risk, some parts may be triggering.

Part 2 on masterlist 

——————————————————————————

“YOU FUCKING KNEW I WOULD BE FUCKING ANGRY, BUT YOU STILL WENT!”

Currently San had you against the wall with his hand tightly wrapped around your throat. Tears falling from your eyes and your breath hitches.

“P-please, San. I’m-I’m so-sorry.”

You whimper out.

You were petrified of him. Shivering from fear. You suddenly felt so cold. It was a horrid feeling. The feeling of being alone, in the dark, frightened by his dominant presences. He had too much control of you, it was concerning.

“Why are you apologizing to me now? You already went on the date.”

Suddenly a hard slap lands on your face making it slant to the side. He grabs you jaw aggressively and moves closer to your face. You can feel his hot breath on your nose.

“Answer me when I talk to you. You know how much I hate to repeat myself.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone on the date.”

He slaps you again and spits on your face.

“A ‘sorry’ is not going to fix anything. You already did it. I have to punish you. Go into the fucking car. NOW!”

He let go of your neck, expecting you to obey him, but instead you bolt to your bedroom. You heard him close behind but made it just in time. If you were any slower he would’ve catched you. You slam your room door and lock it.

Why was this happening?

Why couldn’t he let you go?

His behaviour toward you had ruined your mental health. What more could he want?

You and San started dating in the last year of high school. He was a pure angel, and treated you like a princess. It was until the last year of university, he got more and more possessive of you and you had to let go.

He was extremely proprietorial of you. It constantly made you question your relationship.

Does he even trust you?

The reason why San was provoked now, was because you had gone on a date with one of your classmates. That’s only because you’re not together with him anymore.

You couldn’t condone his behaviour anymore and broke up with him. He had an uncontrollable rage, especially if it was about you. Therefore you ended it.

Unfortunately for you, San didn’t take it like that. He thought it was just a break and left you alone for one week. The next week, he came roaming around, right back to you.

When you tell him that it’s over, you’re done. He pinned you against the wall and took you right there. You being into the moment, let it happen just one more time.

Well you thought it was just gonna be that one time. But he always did it. He fucked you under the bleachers during a football game. In the chem lab, the sleeping pods. You would always tell him no, but he didn’t take it as an answer.

Thus, you didn’t fight it anymore. Except now. He was taking it to another level and you didn’t need that right now.

“San please leave me alone!”

You pleaded on one side of the door.

Your voice was met with nothing but silence. You lay on the floor to look under the little opening of the bottom of the door, looking for his feet.

You saw nothing. Maybe he left.

“What’re you doing on the floor?”

You jolt up and look behind you. San was in your room. You looked behind him and the window was open.

You scurried up and unlocked the door, but San was faster and closed it from behind you. He roughly grabbed your shoulders and flipped you around to face him.

“You can’t escape me. You’re MINE! How many fucking times do I have to tell you?”

He was furious. His face was red and he looked like he could cry from frustration. Knowing him well, you knew he would absolutely lose it if you apologized to him one more time.

Instead you cup his cheeks and rub them softly. You move closer to him, hoping he would wrap his arms around you, pick you up and forgive you. So this nightmare can be over and you can be one again.

You were exhausted. But hey, at least he’s loyal. Not a lot of men have loyalty. You wouldn’t die if you stayed with San. He would at least protect you.

You tried to think of his good traits.

San sighs and pulls you closer to him.

“Now you wanna act all innocent? You’ve angered beyond my limit. I am still going to punish you for that. Bad girls like you, need to be put in their place. Understood?”

“Yes”

You whisper in his ear and let him take you back to his car.

This was you giving up. You can’t continue to fight. Not like this. This was tormenting you. Maybe the one causing all of this suffering can bring you out of it. You kept a little hope in San, thinking that he may make you the happiest girl in the world one day.

San enters into the car with a bag and throws it in the back.

“What’s that?”

“Some clothes and my favourite lingerie.”

Upon saying this a grin was forming on his lips.

His hand made its way over to your thighs and harshly slaps his.

You flinch up not expecting that.

“Why don’t you remind me the 9 strict rules I had for you? If you get it wrong I will slap these beautiful, soft thighs until they’re bruised. Understand?”

“Yes daddy. Rule number one is to call you daddy or master.”

“Good girl”

“Rule number two is to listen and obey daddy at all times. Rule number three is ask daddy permission for everything. Rule number four is to not back talk or act like a brat to daddy. Rule number five, is- uhh”

You yelp up and feel a sting on your thigh. You hiss out in pain.

“What’s rule number five, whore.”

“It’s too......”

Another slap lays on your thighs.

You start panicking because you forgot what rule number five is. Your heart rate gets faster and you can’t help but fidget around. A lump forms in your throat and you try you best to blink away tears.

Why was he this horrifying to you?

“You forgot didn’t you?”

“Yes daddy.”

“When we get home, that’s 10 spankings on the ass. Understand?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Okay, moving on what’s rule number six?”

“Tell daddy, if there’s something wrong. Always talk to daddy because he’s here to listen.”

“Seven”

“Never touch myself”

“Eight”

“Be thankful for everything my daddy has provided me and be thankful for my daddy.”

“Nine.”

You gulp not remembering what it was. This was the new rule San had added, but a week later you broke up with him.

“Daddy, I don’t remember nine. I truly am sorry.”

You speak in the most baby voice you can pull off.

He didn’t acknowledge it and spanks your thighs 10 times, each time getting harder and harder.

You hold in your cries and finally see that you have reached his mansion.

He parks at the front and says to you

“Stay in the car, I'll come around.”

You obey and he comes around opening the door and pulling you out. He slams the car door, and with a tight grip on your arm, pulls you inside.

———-

3 months later

You had completely lost all hope. This time your punishment was much more physical. He kicked you. After fucking you for what seemed like days, he cummed all over you and kicked your legs, back and stomach. After that he left.

You lay on the concrete floor, bawling your eyes out. Why was he this cruel?! Since the day you entered this house, you’ve been locked up in the punishment room.

At this point San was using you as a sex slave. His little cum slut. You had a massive amount of hatred toward him now. You will be able to love again!

He broke you. He was starting to get physical now. He would feed you a meal every two days and the water was the faucet water from the bathroom. He still allowed you to keep your hygiene up because at the end of the day, he was still fucking you. You didn’t have clothes to wear and just walked around nude.

You had a collar on and San sometimes put a leash on you while fucking you.

It was hell. You couldn’t take it anymore!

You start crying even harder, trembling in fear. Your sobs become a little louder and before you knew it you were wailing.

The door immediately opens and San is standing at the doorway.

“Why’re you crying without my permission? You want me to punish you again? You just seem like you can’t get enough of me. Am I that handsome or am I just that good at fucking you?”

You immediately stop and don’t reply. What does he want you to say to that? That you like him making you feel like a worthless piece of shit?

“Not replying I see. Tsk tsk tsk. Get up and bend over on the bed.”

In a flash you stand up and bend over the bed.

San pulls you back and spits in your mouth.

“Swallow.”

You gulp it down.

“Good girl.”

He praised you and petted your head.

“Now count for me, babygirl.”

He spanks you up to ten and you don’t react. It hurt, but in a way you were already used to it. Your ass was bruised. You couldn’t sit on it or lay on it. It was terrible.

San rubs your ass and picks up a blanket. He wrapped you around in it and carries you upstairs to his room you’re assuming. He lays you on the bed and kisses you all over your face.

“Tomorrow was supposed to be your last day in the punishment room. But since my princess was crying, I will end it today. This is our shared room and your clothes are in our closet. How about you go shower, then we can eat dinner, then cuddle.”

What the fuck?

How did he suddenly change like that?

You were still afraid of him and kept your distance, but he started taking you out on dates and buying you stuff.

He even bought you a promise ring. It matched with his. He would buy you couples outfits and was attached to your side.

“Babygirl can you look at me?”

You turn your head to face San.

He gently kisses you and pulls away saying

“I love you, princess.”

“I love you too, Sannie.”

You smile and kiss him back.

Maybe the hard parts over.

—————————————————————————— edited🔐

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 4

Confrontations and Truths

It was almost 5:30, the dusk was setting in as Alec walked out of his office, mumbling something under his breath. He looked around to find a taxi which he got after 5 minutes, then got in and left for Catarina's house.

*At Catarina's apartment*

Catarina was pacing in her living room, glancing at the clock again and again. Her worries were deepening with each passing second when her doorbell rang. Sighing, she waved her hands and opened the door.

Alec walked inside and gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, Cat! I'm.... 15 minutes late." He said while hugging her gently.

"That's not what I'm concerned about Alec, you asked me to meet you urgently and not tell Magnus about our meeting at all, what's going on!?"

He was about to answer when a soft voice echoed the whole house.

"Aallleeecccc!"

Madzie came running down the hall and hugged Alec's leg who was around Alec's waist height now. She was growing faster and learned a lot in all these years. Catarina had officially adopted her, and they formed a really great bond over the course of years.

A wide smile appeared on Alec's face as he bent down to her height and gave her a tight hug. "Hey, sweet pea!"

"Magnus didn't come?" She asked in a sad voice.

"No, sweet pea, I had some important work with your mom, that's why I came. We'll surely come soon to meet you, okay?"

"Okay!" she said enthusiastically, her sadness completely gone.

"Hey Mads! Go to your room sweetheart, we have some important work to discuss." Catarina said to her softly but a slight tone of worry was visible in her voice.

"Okay mommy, bye Alecc!"

"Bye, sweet pea!"

After she left, Catarina sighed, crossed her arms above her chest, and glared at Alec. "Alec! Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Cat! Calm down, can we please sit and talk?"

Catarina sighed yet again. They walked towards her mini balcony where there was a coffee table with two wooden chairs placed around it. She waved her hands and summoned a hot coffee for herself and hot chocolate with marshmallows for Alec.

"Thank you!" Alec said as he sat down on the chair.

Catarina was still looking at him firmly.

"So, to answer your question, Magnus is not fine."

"What!? Alec! What happened to him, has his powers-"

"Cat! Cat! Calm down! There's nothing wrong with him. He's completely fine, he's just not fine emotionally."

"Emotionally!?"

"Look, Cat, it's our anniversary in 6 days, I want to do something for him for which I'll be needing the help of a warlock, and I obviously can't take Magnus' help, so that's why I wanted to meet you."

Catarina let out a breath of relief, which she didn't know was holding. "Alec, I'm still confused, how is Magnus' mental health and your surprise plan related?"

Alec took a deep breath and composed himself before speaking. "You're aware of the biggest attack that happened in Alicante about a month ago, which almost resulted in war?"

"Yes, Alec, I obviously am, that's the reason I'm in Alicante. They needed the powerful warlocks from around the globe to fix the broken wards, you know it really well those are no ordinary wards. But, what about it?" a frown appeared on her forehead, not understanding where this was headed.

"Well, in that attack, I was in the field and Magnus was also called. It was not a small attack so they called everyone that can fight that battle. We both were on the field fighting side by side, but..." Alec cleared his throat, his eyes starting to flood with tears with those memories.

"Alec?" Catarina asked softly.

Alec closed his eyes and a teardrop fell on his cheek. "I... I almost died in that battle."

"What!?" Catarina's eyes went wide. "Oh my god! Alec... why nobody told me about this!? Why am I hearing about it now?"

"You were at the Spiral Labyrinth, Cat. We wouldn't be able to contact you even if we wanted. And, you know Magnus, he hates talking about things like these."

Catarina sighed and gave a slow nod.

"Anyways, I was in a coma for 10 days. My recovery was really slow, but I recovered. I knew Magnus was by my side the whole time, I was able to hear him, hear everything happening beside me, I heard him crying, begging me to wake up, to not leave him this soon, that... he won't be able to live without me, he cried on my arms, didn't sleep for a day!" He paused as tears kept running down his face.

Catarina gently squeezed his arms.

"When I recovered and went back home, he didn't allow me to go back to work for days. I had to convince him, remind him that I'm an inquisitor, I don't have that much fieldwork now, but... he never was able to get over it." He took a deep breath and continued.

"He told me he was fine, but I know he's not Cat! He still cries at night, thinking I'm asleep and not hearing him. whenever I've come home early, I've heard him crying, saying things like... like I'll die someday in a battle or I'll grow old one day and die and leave him forever. But I've always ignored it, knowing that I won't be able to comfort him no matter how hard I try to. And also, because he thinks he's hiding from me. If I confront him, he'll become defensive and more secretive, he'll push me away."

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Catarina reached out and gave his shoulder a light squeeze. When he opened his eyes, tears were shining brightly in them.

"I... I can't see him like that, Cat! He had a past full of pain, he had been in and out of relationships, had bad ones like Camille. You know all about it better than me, I know he's scared that I'll grow old one day and die. My mortality is scaring him, I love him and I'm worried about him."

"Oh my! Alec... I can't believe Magnus didn't say a word to me. But how can I help you with this?"

"I... Is... I... I... Is...."

"Alec!?" Catarina frowned, her mind going only in one direction with Alec's confrontation.

"I want to become immortal!" He announced.

At first, Catarina's eyes went wide, but then a light smile appeared on her face. "Look, Alec, I'm happy to see the love you have for Magnus, but becoming immortal-"

"It's not just for Magnus, Cat! I'm doing it for myself as well. I want to be with Magnus forever. I can't think of being apart from him even for a day, and, about watching my whole family dying in front of my eyes, with Magnus being by my side, I know I'll handle it!"

Catarina was so awestruck by his determination. 'Magnus is really lucky to have Alec, I'm so happy for you Magnus Bane!' she thought. "But there's one more problem, Alec, you have pure angel blood running in your veins, if you want to become immortal-"

"You think I came without homework, Cat!?" He took out a piece of paper from his pants pocket and kept it on the table. She took it and carefully opened it but then her eyes went wide.

"Wha... Alec, from where did you get this?"

"I was looking through the history of Shadowhunters and Immortals when I got this. The only thing I got to know this far is that," he pointed at the sketch on paper, "his name was Kasper Windermere, the first Shadowhunter to become immortal, half angel and half Shadowhunter, he became half-angel through a spell, but I'm not able to find the rest of it."

Catarina's eyes were wide. Noticing that, Alec took her hand in his catching her attention.

"Look, Cat, I want to become immortal, but Shadowhunting is my life, my career, it's what I've taught since childhood, I can't just give up on it. And I know I'll regret if I become immortal by using demon blood, you all know me. So that's the only option I have. Please, help me Cat!"

She couldn't help but give a wide smile at Alec.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You know, Magnus has been my best friend for centuries, I've seen him falling in and out of love, being with people, caring for them, and getting heartbroken but I've never seen anyone caring for Magnus the way you do. Magnus is really lucky to have you in his life. I'm really happy for both of you."

Alec's cheeks flushed red at this. "Thank you, Cat!"

"But for what you want, we need to search in every place possible. We can start with Book of White; Magnus gave it to me to keep it safe, I'll bring it."

"Okay, let's do it."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

* A Few hours later*

"There's only a small part of the spell mentioned in it, Alec." Catarina rubbed her temples as she turned the book towards Alec. They searched for hours but were only able to find a few details.

"Hmm... but that means it's possible right? We just need to find the rest of it." He was really happy with their findings.

"Alec, are you really sure? There's little mention of it, and... it's written there that it has consequences, that's why it's removed."

"What consequences?" He frowned.

"This spell is irreversible, so you can never turn back to mortal ever again and the only means that can kill you is.... is your own will, as an angel you'll only die when you desire to be."

"How is the other one a consequence?" He asked, confused.

"Alec, no one desires to die, and there's no mention whether Kasper Windermere is alive or dead."

"I don't see any problem with any of the above!"

Catarina sighed. "You are so determined, aren't you?"

"Cat, I can't see Magnus like this anymore. With our anniversary coming, I want to surprise him in the best way possible. I want our anniversary to be about him, his happiness, and I know he'll be happy, so yes, I'm determined to do anything which will make him happy. I'll look for more information tomorrow at Gard's library."

Catarina grinned then out of nowhere, giving him a tight hug. "Magnus Bane is a hell of a lucky man!"

Alec pulled out of the hug but then his eyes fell on his watch, it was 10:30. "Shit! Oh, no! Shit! Shit!"

"Alec, what happened?"

"We planned a dinner at 7 today and it's 10:30, Magnus is going to kill me, I need to run!" He said in a hurried tone.

Catarina laughed and shook her head. "Go, get your husband Alec!"

"Bye, Cat!" With that, Alec rushed out of Catarina's house.

__________________________

Magnus was pacing in their living room, eyeing the cold food kept at the kitchen counter and at the clock alternatively. It was almost 10:45. His eyes were filled with the pool of tears that were ready to shed at any moment.

'Where are you, Alexander? You promised you'd make it for dinner.' He sighed and started pacing again when a sudden thought struck him. 'Is... Is he all right? Did something happen to him? Did he go for the hunt? No, No! But he should be home by now then!'

He was about to change into his regular clothes to go out in search of him when he heard the jingle of keys and the door opened making him let out a breath of relief.

Alec walked in and noticed that Magnus was standing in the center of the living room with worry-filled eyes. 'Shit! I'm screwed' he thought then cleared his throat before speaking.

"I'm sorry, Magnus, I... Umm... I...." He kept shuffling in his place, unable to meet the eyes with his husband's.

"Where were you, Alexander?" Magnus almost choked on his words.

Alec noticed this, 'he was crying again, shit! I'm sorry Mags. Just a few more days and you never have to worry about it ever again' he thought.

"I... I was actually with Izzy; she was at the meeting too... I met her after a long time, so after we were both done with our work and meetings we decided to meet for a coffee. We met and started chatting and didn't realize the time. I'm sorry Mags! I should've texted you, I forgot, I'm really sorry." He said half truthfully, Izzy was at the meeting, but she was in a hurry so they only talked for 5 minutes, then she left but she's still in Alicante.

He then took out the flower bouquet he was hiding the whole time, with a sorry card placed on top of it. "I hope this will make up for it, I'm so sorry Magnus!"

Magnus was completely on the verge of crying right now, he was trying to hold his tears back, as he kept glancing between the bouquet and his husband. 'I missed my chance again, how am I supposed to say anything when you keep doing things like this' he thought, unable to keep his tears back he started crying.

"Magnus!?" Alec kept the bouquet on the couch then hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry Magnus, I'm sorry!" 'I know why you're crying Magnus, please don't be scared love, just a few more days!'

Magnus cried on Alec's shoulders, holding his jacket in his fists tightly. 'how am I supposed to tell you, Alexander, how am I supposed to tell you that... that I want to end our marriage, that I want to end us. I can't take it anymore, thinking that you'll be gone forever someday, and I, I'll have to live with those memories. I can't create more memories with you, Alexander. What happened a month ago had hurt me in ways you can't imagine. I can't do this anymore, the more I'll be with you, the more it'll hurt me when you'll be gone. I won't be able to bear that pain, I have to end us, I need to end us, but how am I even going to say it, when you keep showering me with your love' he cried harder on his shoulders.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Ok, im not feeling well but have some angsty *curls up in a ball while laying in the floor of my hide out*

"Don't make me lose my time with this. Go bother someone else. I have better things to get done."

Usually you would understand his reasons or even just smile at him in understatement.

But not today... all you wanted was just that Kai stoped just a little with his work to relax and just enjoy the little time you had of you guys anniversary, but he didn't even let you finish your question as he answered you harshly with that.

"Is it too much to ask for that you relax a bit? Just look at you, you're tense." You try to reason it.

He merely lifted an annoyed glance at you, cold and harsh just like his words.

"You're only worsening my case of health them if you keep prying like that."

That hurted. And even if you wanted to scream at that one, you still remained your compusture for his sake, and not to yell.

But this didn't mean that you would let it go...

"I only wanted to help Chisaki." You said between teeth, clenching your jaw even more at feeling the burn in your eyes "And also do you even remember what day i-"

"Just shut up." He threw his pen at his table with a growl while massaging his temples "Honestly, stop acting like a child and accept this for once, I am not going to comply to your stupid wishes." He said harshly, his words hurting more than he expected.

You felt a tear of yours falling from your eye as you breath in and out.

"You forgot what day it is today or something?" You asked, being completely ignored as he returned to writing "Kai. Please just liste-"

"Get out." He muttered darkly, making you wince but subsconciously mutter a question back at him.

"What..?"

"I said-" he lifted himself from his chair quite abruptly and pointed at the exit of his office " Get. Out. GET OUT OF HERE."

You stared at him in disbelief and sadness before breathing in again and nodding with a 'okay' before stopping by the doorframe.

"For your information, if it even its from your interest Overhaul." You grabbed the handle of the door before looking at him blurry due to your tears almost blinding your sign "Today was when we first met some years ago! And SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU! SO IM SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A PEST FOR WORRYINGOVER THE PERSON I LOVE DESPITE HIM DON'T GIVING A DAMN ABOUT IT!" You slammed the door before running out of the house, rubning furiously your eyes.

Stupid emotionless jerk! Why did you have to always be the smiling one anyway?!

~

He dropped his pen at hearing your last words and the furious 'slam' of the door before sighing in both annoyance and irritation...

Not at you.

Couldn't you just wait for a while? He was having a bad day already that all of his plans of making this day special had failed, more work was putted at his desk, and he just had to deal again with rappa wanting to 'defeat him', so he ended up fucking this day even more...

When he finished this he would apologize but for now he just couldn't... he had to calm down at least and let you cool your head as well.

~

You angrily walked past through the crowd of people as you sniffed and wiped your tears...

You glanced at some couples at the street, cringing at their touching and smilling lovely faces...

You sighed as you continue walking, while glancing behind you to comfirm that neither one of his precepts or even Chrono had spotted you lefting the base.

You just needed to be alone...

"My, my. Looks like I won the lottery." A man smirked down at your person while you merely stoped in front if him, preventing any possible bumping.

Ah no.

"Excuse me, but i am really not in the mood for talking." You said bitterly before trying to walk past him, but he suddenly grabbed your wrist and pushed you to a alley.

"Hey-! Let go of me!"

"Shut your fucking mouth little Overhaul's playtoy." The man growled with a sadistic smile while other two appeared right besides him.

You widened your eyes in horror, already understanding what this was about... this is what happened when you were too close with the members of the yakusa if you didn't were carefull...

Shit, that what was why Kai was so paranoid in the first place.

"Whatcha guys think? How much would that Overjerk pay to have this little thing back?" He smirked at both of his laughing partners.

Before you could even answer or understand what was going to happen you felt a sharp pain at the base of your neck before blacking out, the last thing you heard were those man laughter...

~

"Chrono? Have you seen (Y/N)?" Chisaki asked, hidding his worry before that stoic face of his.

He looked around the house for you for a bout a hour already, and no signs of your angelic persona...

"Not all day Overhaul. I'm sorry." Chisaki scoffed before he picked his cellphone and his worry and annoyance only grew even more at seing that you had no signs of it.

He tried calling for your number and lifted his eyebrows in sad shock that you had left your cellphone on the room.

"Mind me asking what happened boss?" Chrono asked, in pure sympathy and worry for his childhood friend.

"I had a fight with her. Nothing big about it."

"Right." Chrono said sarcastically.

He knew Chisaki for years already, and could see the pain and dare he say some soreness and regret in Kai's eyes. It was a rare sign, but it happened.

After all, you were truly special to him, anyone in the base could tell that, but only the ones who knew Chisaki could see how infatued and passionate he was with you.

"Overhaul?" Mimic's voice ringed, breaking both men's thoughts as Chisaki coldly stared at the man down, offering him the phone.

"There's this dude on the line wanting to talk about bussines with you."

"Say to them I'm busy." he growled in response as he tried again to think where would you have gotten.

Mimic spoked back before widening his eyes and looking at his boss with a certain uneasiness.

"Uh. Overhaul its REALLY important this one." Mimic said offering the phone again.

Chisaki lifted one of his eyebrows befkre sighing in annoyance and harshly grabbing the phone.

~

You gasped for breath the koment your head was oushed back out of the water. Coughing hysterically before finally gaining back the precious air in your lungs again.

The man laughed while holding his phone before looking at you for a moment, you not even noticing that he had aproached.

"Say sweetcheeks. How much will that leader would pay to have you back huh? Millions? Billions?"

You looked at him in rage and disgusted thorigh your blurry vision, thinking thorugh a moment.

He couldn't know that you were special for Kai, so you had to play a game for him to at least ease down his plan or even just to peace the yakusa for at least.

You pretended to laugh bitterly, not noticing due to your exaustation the phone close to your mouth.

"You're expecting way too much. Him? Overhaul care for me? He wouldn't even slare a single yen at me. Trust me. I'm just to show..." the guy didn't seemed pleased T your answer befkre he brought his phone close to his ear before comanding to take you out of there and chain you up.

"Have fun with her." He sadistically laughed and you merely gave out, feeling you being dragged to the wall...

~

"You're expecting way too much. Him? Overhaul care for me? He wouldn't even slare a single yen at me. Trust me. I'm just to show..."

He gripped at his shirt, just where his heart was... cringing in disgust at himself.

Did you really felt that way? Did you really thought that he cared so little for you?

"So that's what the chick said. But my mans here are going to have a bit of fun until you decides how kuch you're willing to pay us to have her back, or we can have her all to ourselves and we won't ever bother ya Overhaul."

He gripped his cellphone in a deadly grip before growling animalistic.

"Count. The fucking. Seconds." He threw it the ohone at the wall, making Chrono and Mimic to widen his eyes before wincing at the shout he gave them to follow him.

"I want all the eight precepts of death. On that damn place. No one will be spared on this genocide, but the responsible one is mine. Got it?"

"Yes master."

~

You cried out in pain at feeling both a burning cigarette in your upper warm while the painful cut down your jaw.

"I will give you one more chance miss. What are Overhaul's possesions and plans with the other minor gangs?"

You cried before looking at him and shouted with both anger and frustation.

"I already said I don't know! He doesn't let me know of those things!"

The worst part of this it was that half of it was true. But the little you know you wouldn't te anyway.

The guy tsked, aproaching at you, hanging from the wall by those chains, grabbing on your chin and lifting it up to meet his disgusting face.

"Such a pretty creature like ya shouldn't be in the hands of such a mobster ya know? Why won't you just-" he aproached his face closer to you before you spited on him, receiving a kick on your gut as a punishment.

The guy wiped it off with a maniac laugh and looked at you smilling sadistically.

"I like you. A feisty one." He aproached at you before lifting his hand, ready to slap it.

"But I guess you need some leasons to quiet do-" he suddenly stopped at hearing the wall falling and a bunvh of his subordinates screams.

You oppened one of your eyes weakly and mentally thanked the heavens at seing the sign in front of you.

The eight precepts of death... Kai must have sended them...

Suddenly your chains were cutted at you fell miserably on the ground, face planted on the old floor as you tried to get up to see what was going on.

You felt a hand checking your pulse before you heard Kurono's voice shouting that you were still alive.

You couldn't even answer Hari's or even Mimic's question at the time, all the energy you had, you used to lift your head and to focus on the sign in front of you.

Your boyfriend had aproached the man and punched from behind, making the guy fall in the ground... but he didn't stop on there. He continue kicking and lunching while screaming animalistic at the now unrecognizable face of your captor... broken nose and blood spilled on it.

Chisaki stopped suddenly, only to grab the man by the hem of his shirt and lift him up tl the air, extending his other bare hand before overhauling the guy only to out it back to do repeat his actions.

Before you knew it, you had used the remains of your strength to lift yourself up weakly... not catching what neither of the man around you were saying...

"..K... Ka..." you weekly whislered before managing to take one or two shaky steps...

You had lost a lot of blood... and you were all beaten up already... but you had to get to him...

When Kai overhauled the guy for the fifth time he noticed your shaky figurine aproaching him... his wide golden eyes meeting your weak yet beautiful (E/C) ones...

You smiled at him before muttering your last words before giving in your exaustation.

"You came for me..."

His shouts for your name and the feeling of his warm arms enveloping your frame,preventing you to fall, were the last thing you could cat h it for that day...

~

"M-Master Overhaul, She's in a very critical state, I wouldn't recommend you to use your quirk... at least not yet, just wait until she regains her conciousness and some of the blood... but I don't think that it will... w-well, be soon..."

He nodded numbly, eyes still focused on your figurine on the bed... all patch it up.

"Dismissed." He ordered bitterly. The koment the old man left the room he took a seat close to your bed and took your hand on his.

"...angel. Those sick people are going to pay. I promise... but... even if you only come back to despise me, to shout at me... please do it... just come back..." he felt the disgusting warm liquid slide from his eyes and fall into your hand.

"I-I can't... don't go now... angel, please..." he shakily lowered his head while bringing your much smaller hand betwen his glived ones up.

"Please don't leave me in the dark.... you're the only reason why I see light in this miserable life of mine... just..." he sobbed while gripling into your hand tighter "Come back...please just come back..."

~

You groggily opened your eyes, trying to focus your sign to at least have a understatement of where you were at the moment.

First you felt the comforting sheets beneath your palm... the fluffiness of the pillow you were laying on... the feeling of something sticking through your skin and veins... then finally noticing the machine monitoring your heartbeat with the constant beep and the half bag of blood hanging above you.

Ah.. now you remembered...

You winced when you tried to move, with a lot of force you manage to at least lay your back on the matress and stare at the window at your side.

It was a... rather beautiful day outside....

You took another look in the room and immediately relaxed at noticing it was one of the yakuza's house rooms you were in...

You heard the muffled voices of both Pops and Chrono soeaking aling with some steps.

"Kai please my boy, you haven't eaten nothing for at least three days straight. Only getting out of that room to shower."

"I can look at them while you take a break Chisa-" both voices suddenly stopped... you guessed it was because Kai had sended them a glare.

You smiled weakly yet worriedly... how long did you slept?

"We will bring something for you later then. Come Kurono." The elder spoked before you heard the sigh of your boyfriend before creaking the door open.

... dear god...

He looked... horrible. Bags under his eyes... he surely had losted more weight and to complete that tired... defeated, depressed look on his eyes.

He was constantly looking at the ground, still not noticing you were awake still.

He closed the door before locking it, hitting his forehead shortly after with a sigh.

"K... Kai?" You manage to croak out, making him jump before he abruptly turned his chest to you.

His eyes were wide open as he stared at you... disbelief clearly on his face.

You weakly giggled before forcing out a few more words.

"H-How long did I-" befire you could even finish your sentence Chisaki just walked to you and beought you to a crushing hug, yet still carefull with the neddles.

He breath in your scent before shakily sighing, it was not only fine woth him because he was always monitoring your cleaning abits while unconscious, but the kist important of all.

You were there. You were here. Breathing. Talking.

"K-Kai?"

"My angel..." he sighed in relief, still not believing that he was crying tears of joy "For a second I thought that... that I had..."

"No... I am going to be a pain in your ass forever." You giggled at your own joke but immediately stopped at seing the... defeated and hurted look of your boyfriend.

He grabbed your fa e between his gloved ones before nuzzling his covered nkse in your head.

"I am such a fool... I heard all of what you thought I think of you... angel Im so sorry, I should never had let out my frustations on you, I did know what day was I swear on my soul but I just had to finish those things before I could even-"

"Kai, its okay." He looked at you in disbelied but still broke st that sweet smile of yours.

"I was pretending... I know how much you care love, you never fail to make me see that..."

He shook his head abruptly before he grabbed your hand harshly and aimed at his own head.

"No. You can't just forgive me that easy. Please angel, I hurt you, I was the responsible for this. Just hit me with all you've got... I deserve worst..."

You went to deny but he just keep pressing your palm against his covered cheek over and over again.

"Do it. Its a order." He growled before he let go of your hand and closed his eyes, already expecting.

You simply stared at it... before you sighed and simply pressed gently your palm against his cheek and carresed your thumb gently his cheek.

He widened his eyes while furrowing his eyebrows, looking at you as you trailed your hand up to his hair.

"Why should I..?" You smiled sweetly at him, nlt stoping your gsntle actions.

"Stop this..." he said shakily, gripping the bedsheets and onto his leg. "Stop acting like none of that happened. I am the responsible for this." He growled while finally managing to look at your eyes.

"Stop being so kind goddammit... not with me... not with me out of all people in this sick planet..."

"... why should I stop?" You trailed your hand down his jaw again, catching the hate towards himself on his eyes.

"I just sayed it. Don't play dumb with me..."

"I'm not..." you sayed softly.

"Stop." He said shakily, not flinching away from your hand since he was craving it for two three days already.

"I love you... thank you for coming back to rescue me."

"Stop this dammit!" He said sternly before rubbing one of his eyes intensely "I can't understand you... I can't."

He rested his head in your shoulder while you smiled at his action, despite the sadness, and hugged hin tight ignoring the pain.

"Don't be so kind-! Dammit... I can't understand you (Y/n)... why this had to hurts so much...?" He got up to craddle your face between his hand after he took his mask off and stared deel at your soul.

"Why? After all I've done?"

"... I love you. Simple as that."

He breath in shakily before crashing his lips in yours, not even thinking straigjt, just wanting to feel you against him...

"Angel... my angel I swear on my soul that I love you so much more." He said between kisses, he trailed from your mouth to your cheeks, nose, chin and for last your forehead...

You smiled in pure joy... despite the pain..

The devil smiled teary back before returning his actions... after all, he almost losed his angel,.. so he was going to show, despite feeling slightly embarrassed and uncomfortable at first, his precious little piece of heaven how important she was to him.

"W-Wait don't you have to wor-" he muffled your words with a deep kiss before murmuring in your cheek lowly before returning his assault to your lips.

"Screw work."

[theholyyuunoaduck]

Reasons why i hate mikaela hyakuya

@gurensangel @chaoticgaymess sorry i know you wanted me to repost your post but its easier just starting my own and making my own hashtag so incase anyone else asks me about this i can just look for the hashtag and send them this

Mikaela is honestly one of those characters i desperately and i mean desperatly tried to love i mean his kid self was so so easy to love and want to protect and hell i cried a shit ton for him and his past his problems everything but the reality is mikaela is a toxic person and here im going to be explaining everything as clearly as i can though im sure that everyone has heard most of these arguments i also have some most people wouldnt even consider

Why is mikaela toxic? Well simply said when you have one person and only one then its obviously going to be an underlying mental health issue now you could say other characters are similar to mikaela within that regard like every other vampire but heres the thing we dont get to see much of the other vampires so im more or less apathetic to those vampires and their actions however in accordance to mikaela we have watched his actions since day one and his chemistry with the rest of the cast of owari no seraph what grinds my gears isnt the fact that mikaela acts with violence and distrust towards everyone but the actions that the rest of the cast have taken towards mikaela and his inability to react differently towards those same exact characters aka shinoa squad

Shinoa squad has never once treated mikaela with prejiduce with agendas or anything of ill will since day one the fact that shinoa basically is the cause of death of many of her comrads during the nagoya arc where mikaela attacks the jida troop (and yes it is a troop considering that after reading pannel after pannel theres upwards to 20 soldiers who the majority of which are equiped with standard blades unlike the protagonists you know basically cannon fodder) but my problem is the fact that in that chapter shinoa instigated their betrayal to save mikaela from the rest of the troops shinoa's life was threatned straight after acknowledging that this could be the last she ever layed eyes on yuichiro by letting mikaela escape with him first threatened by a random soldier and then right after rika inoue and by her superior narumi makoto and shinoa the fucking chad she is just took all the punishment because she knows damn well that it is her fault her comrads died because of her distraction to allow mikaela to escape eating away the precious time guren baught his soldiers to run away and escape and how does mikaela respond? He tells yuu to abandon them it doesnt take a genius to say that betrayal especially to the hiragi family is met with death even if mikaela doesnt understand the rules and regulations of human law i doubt vampire law is much different meaning he knows damn well shinoa could lose her life for betraying the army for his sake and not just shinoa but her entire squad

I already know what youll say "but but mikas a vampire he has no emotions" bullshit absolute pure fucking bullshit of an argument considering the fact yoichis mention of the word family/freinds was cause for pause for mikaela and not just mikaela look at ferid look at crowley theyre all so vibrant and brimming with personality and emotion and i am damn well sure no one disagrees this could just be kagami's writing and forgetting about this plotpoint

The fact that despite this mikaela is a manipulative fucker we all know yuu is a dumbass no one can deny this the fact that mikaela is willing to point his sword towards yuichiro and threaten him his so called beloved speaks volumes about mikaelas ego his straight up ego thinking that he's the only one that could be right after all mikaelas the wisest of the bunch right i mean after all everyone of his other decisions was followed through with outstanding results anyone? Anyone? Thats right not once has the squad or especially yuichiro listend to mikaela and do to that fact everyone is alive and kicking examples? (This is also an example of manipulative mika) Mika: Yuu abandon shinoa because if she's as great as you say us sticking around will only cause her trouble you cannot tell me that isnt mikaela trying to twist yuu's feelings for his family to abandon them because had they listened to mikaela shinoa would have been impaled by the chains kureto produced to awaken the seraph of the end

And almost right after that same situation upon mahiru injuring yuu awakening abadon mikaela high tails and runs away carrying yuu and we actually see a pannel of shinoa squad scrambling for saftey straight up abandoning them again and going so far as to yell that he is yuu's only family despite all the other shit

Alright so lets play into the whole mika doesnt have feelings dont you think that having no feelings would make your sense of judgement all the better? And if so with all the evidence and actions of shinoa squad why in Gods blue earth would he basically act like an actual dick towards shinoa who saved his life risked her life for him as if shinoa is the sole reason yuu is in the prediciment of being possessed by yuu?? Isnt that the least bit infuriating??

On next of we shouldnt listen to mikaela in the same arc again mikaela suggests lets leave shinoa squad to face off against crowley AND FERID with this bullshit of "theyre after us theyll just ignore them" i mean are you kidding me? Ferid the man youve been with for 5 years is going to not have the time of his life killing a bunch of teenagers for the simple fact that if yuu is running away and leaving them.they must not be important to him therefore easy pickings for him

Lets not trust guren after all he's just using you he doesnt care the man loves that boy like as if he was his son and you can argue against me with this some time later but alright lets give mika the benifit of the doubt so obviously in mikas infinit wisdom his set course of action is killing him infront of yuichiro??? Really??? In front of him?? Killing his father infront of yuu man that just speaks volumes about how mikaeala only cares about the feeling he gets with yuu rather than carring about yuu as a person

Imo mika cares about how yuu makes him feel rather than who yuichiro is what do i mean by this? Its simple mika doesnt give a damn what makes yuu happy hell mika would cage yuu up if it ment keeping him safe and alive but is that really living? Its cruelty if i adopt a dog feed it and give it water but never play with it and isolate it thats basically animal cruelty

Anyway back to mika trying to kill guren just right there yuu begs mika to stop and grabs his arm pulling him back and what does mika do? What does he do? He lops off yuu's arm the one that was holding mikaela back from attacking what makes this scene even worse is i had so much hope for mikaeala because the last battle they won mikaela said the thoight of losing his.comrads made him dizzy what happened to him not having feelings? I lived loved loved that statement i imagined uncle mika to yuus kids being the best man to yuus wedding begging to be the one to make the wedding cake so so so so so many au's based off those little words and right after removing yuu's limb from him kimizuki and yoichi step up for guren weapons drawn and mikaela threatens them?!?!?! I mean honestly how fucking hypocritical can you be how big is his fucking ego???

Ill end it with this point because i have work in the morning i Still have another 20 bullet points i want to add but im starting to think i have artheritistis in my hand because my fingers hurt so much but anyway my point being mikaelas character contradicts yui's in an unhealthy way while yuu's character trait is to run towards danger to be a hero mikas is to run from danger its basically a tug of war and the thing is the story so far has actually turned out well for the cast running into danger for yuu made the 6th angels trumpet to grow silent destroying all of the four horsemen monsters and letting humanity take a huge step towards rebuilding but had it been mika's way theyd have run right out of that building never to see it again my point is if someone pulls and runs towards something and another character ties a rope to them and runs the other direction that tension will cause nothing but problems instead of running forward with the protagonist in order to keep them safe and actually contribute into the success of the mission

Also like the hashtags say this is only part 1 because as i said i have to sleep and my hand is killing me i should have done this earlier when i had more energy in order to bring along all the sources like the chapter and page where you can find these exact moments along with photos of said arguments/bullet points

[fiore-rosewood9]

14 and 23?

Thank you for the ask kind tumbrl-er. Before I start I would like to mention that anything I say is related to personal experiences in a fandom and there is no right or wrong answer. People come in all shapes and sizes and that also means - Different sets of experience.

TRIGGER WARNING - Mentions of slurs, r*pe, p*dophilia, creepy behavior, mentions of psychological analysis on a character, personal experiences with fandoms and a long rant. If any of these disturb you, please refrain from reading this and skip this post. This is not meant to cause drama, but I had to involve them to explain my point. I also mention sensitive topics like the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, 9/11 and the r*pe of Nanking, if you are related to any of these or have someone you know who died during this time, please refrain from reading, because I was extremely emotional and cried a bit while I wrote these, because what I wrote still has an effect on me.

Again, this is not meant to bash/hate on any ship mentioned here.

This is not meant as a personal attack for anyone who ships these. Also this may be a rant, I apologize for writing a whole novel and not a short answer, but I feel passionate about what I write here. This is going to be a really long post, so I do not blame you if you don't read all of it. I am going to mention a lot of things that are not related to the ships, but they do have significance in my mind and are related to my rant. With that out of the way, my answer is under the cut -

14 - Has a fanbase ever made you ship or not ship something? Why?

Yeah, I have been forced and threatened to ship certain things, via texts which made me leave certain fandoms. Hetalia is a cespool simply because I have been in it 8-9 years and can speak confidently about what happened to me. I thought the hate and immature fans in hetalia all left by the time it was 2016-17 but nope, there are still bad apples here and there. I just try to tell them I am not here for childish games and I am not here to debate which ship is the ''best'' since that is what certain people did all the way back in 2013. I am here just to enjoy my self and reblog fan art and headcanons and talk about hetalia and other fandoms and appreciate the manga/anime.

- Ciel x Sebastien (Sebastien is just there for Ciel's soul) I mean he does care for him in some aspect and I think he said something like - "I will always be with you til the day you die, my lord". There is a normal age gap between adults, and then there is lowkey p*dophilia. How old was Ciel anyway ? 12-13? Even though he is a teen, at this age people are not really mature in many aspects. I have collegues who have what you may call ''Sugar daddies'' in the west and let me tell you, they don't really act nice to their sugar babies. Unless it is some sort of consensual sex roleplay and you are living in a fantasy with your partner, most girls and boys I see feel ''trapped'' by their words.

The sugar daddy (In rare cases mummy) exploites them for attention and tends to lash out if the baby looks at their phone and doesn't pay 100 percent attention to them and tries to buy their attention which is simply wrong. Okay, I moved way offtopic, but certain ships kinda remind me of this unhealthy dynamic in a way. I know my opinion isn't worth shit since this is the internet and everyone thinks they're the next new hot thing around here but I just see them as servent and master and more like frenemies where Sebastien would do anything for Ciel, but you see, that is kinda his job. Just like how doctors act professional and it is their job to cure/heal you if you have some sort of pain.

- Izuku Midoriya x Bakugou Katuski - (I was in this fandom for a short time and only watched up to a certain season so please excuse me if I what I say is not accurate, this is also a long rant so you can skip if you want, in the last two paragraphs I explain about the pairing speciffically) So like from what I remember Katsuki is a bully. I really despise this ship, purely because bullying to me is not something cutesy and fun that people do. It makes you wish you kill your self faster because self harm no longer works. There was this weird person on tumbrl that sent me hate through tumbrl and I made a post about them, how I was a ''bad person'' for hating on this ship. I mean, I am allowed to dislike and even hate what I want. It is not you who has went through trauma and has CPTSD is it? In my high school, even though it was an economical one, except learning Economics, Accounting, Finances and other stuff I also got to learn things like Psychology, Ethics, History and Geography.

And each subject is tough, as in - You can't pass high school if you don't know the details. Except the book that we used in school that we learnt our lessons from, we were also made to carry two other books that we used for exercises, and other than that we had books that were by different authors, we had to read, but they didn't lift our grade in any way. So I have learnt psychology and world history for 4 years in high school and I learnt world history and world geography for 3 years in middle school. And now the first year in Uni, I got to learn psychology for year too. They also made us buy 9-10 books by different psychologists and write about them. From what I hear from my americans friends and collegues, they kinda don't teach you world history, it is like unless you know all of Thomas Jefferson's favourite foods you will be failed. I don't know if this is true, but judging by how they teach what Communism and Socialism is, in the american schools, I am kinda losing hope for what americans actually know about the outside world, aka, anything that is not the US and Canada.

I am not a psychologist and I have never studied to be one, but my own problems and the problems of my family and friends made me start reading even before high school in order to self improve as a human being because I have - Fatal flaws. I also have a few mental illnesses whcih have been diagnosed by psychiatrists, but where I live, mental health and the lgbtq+ is extremely shamed. This is why I never tell anyone I go to a psychologist, because people don't understand you and laugh at you and shame you. The lgbtq is harassed and can't marry or adopt children, however, this somehow is not a hatecrime. Which extremely frustrates me since this is against human rights in my book. You can't just harass a person for their sexuality. I may not have a phd in psychology but I naturally tend to help people and listen to their problems. It seems that I also give good advice and help people well, so sometimes in friend groups I am know as the ''heart'' and the ''psychologist''. I say that because I know a lot more than 4-5 articles that I read on psychology today, healthline or verywellmind, while people nowdays read a few articles and call them selves a psychologist. I am not one, but have the skills and knowledge to be one and can spot articles with old outdated information that hasn't been relevant in the past 30 years or so.

But that is the majority of people, who concider it a mental illness and base the lgbtq on what stereotypes they see on TV and what their parents told them. The internet is made for global use and that means that anyone can write all kinds of shit and use it. However there are a lot of problems with this when it comes to psychology and psychologists and psychriatrists. Many people still believe myths and things that were proven to be wrong. For example, in my country the word - Autist/Autistic, can be used as a slur, it is similar to what the Americans have in the - N and R words. And this is extremely upsetting, because while I am not on the spectrum, I don't think anyone should be degraded and be shamed of this label. Autism is a spectrum, but here it is used to signify that someone is slow. They're not slow, their brain just works differently. But that can be used for other illneses too. I think anyone suffering from mental illness deserves the support of family and friends and a normal life. I think anyone who is a decent and kind human being deserves a peaceful life.

So in real life Bakugou x Izuku would be a crap pairing. Because bullies x their victims do not mix well. Bullies in real life are cowards. They're like predators in the jungle. They are not real leaders. They always settle for someone who is clearly weak and vulnerable (This case - Izuku has no quirks and is useless in their world) so being beaten up, emotionally and verbally bullied isn't really fun. On top of that, when a bully develops an unhealthy dynamic, other people of the group, who never oroginally bullied the victim and were neutral or even friends, go and bully the victim, because they can and they will. Usually victims are powerless and telling the teacher and sometimes beating up the bully doesn't really make the bully leave you alone and respect you. And sometimes, you end up in the hospital with a broken leg and an arm and small injuries in your chest because bullies can't handle anyone standing up to them and ruining their status. Bullies have extreme, neurotic fear of being alone, so they find other assholes and bitches like them and attack always people - Who never did anything to them to insult them.

The bullies create it them selves. No one is an easy victim, not the person who wears glasses, not the anorexic girl that sits on the first desk, not the boy in a wheel chair, not the man with a stutter, not the woman covered in scars, no one. It is also a fact that schools profit from bullies since bullies usually have rich parents that think their child is somr sort of angel when in reality their child loves to make others cry and hits them when they don't get what they want. The problem with bullies is that they are hard to stop. Sometimes telling them off works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes punching them works, sometimes it doesn't. Etc. We can't predict which bully is bluffing and which bully is serious and will beat you up. They do not realize or care that they hurt their victims, even if the victim becomes a millionaire, to them, this person will always be inferior weakling that they need to torture psychologically and make them cry. They're sadistic. Bakugou from what I remember became jealous and only stopped bullying Izuku when he became ''strong'' that means strong physically. And for boys, it is generally easier, you hit the gym and no one bullies you. But what if you are a girl? I don't see girls being more respected or feared for being muscular. It is kinda like the jock x nerd. Cute in theory, but in reality it is beyond abusive. Even if the victims kill them selves bullies do not care. They just move on to another victim and are proud that they broke someone and are not as weak as them.

America x England - (OOOOH BOY, HOW MUCH DO I WANT TO BE CANCELED, HAHA) Well, as someone who has been 9 years in this fandom, I have a long history with this pairing. I do not know if I ever explained why do I hate it so much? I have a long and complicated history with it. This where my inner historian comes in. My uncle is a professor in history, but not in our city and we are not very close but I was always interested in history, but now I am a bit skeptical when it comes to history, because you never know how someone can twist it since history is written by the winners. Whatever I say in this post, is not meant to cause drama or offend anyone. From now on I am going to use, vulgar language and this may not be suitable for some readers

This is not meant to be hateful towards people who ship it, but I hate this ship, with passion. This has to be the worst ship, in the fandom history, ever. If you want, feel free to block me if that triggers you. I don't know from where to begin, since I am going to get canceled if I speak my own personal truth and my experiences. I have read the manga when I was 13-14 and have matured since then. The hetalia fandom in the past was more different than in 2021. So like there were ship wars, fan arts, roleplaying, everyone cosplayed hetalia and homestuck since they were the biggest fandoms, Carley Rae Japsean's song Call me maybe was blasting on the radio, Gagnam style was the shit and life was good. I was young, naive, full of hope and looking for fandoms to join in, since it is was a relativly new concept for me. I did not know what these cutesy boys I saw on deviant art were so I decided to scroll down through the comments to see what it was, and I read the name - Hetalia. If you then pay me one million dollars/euro and tell me that Hetalia is going to be my favourite anime and the fandom I stay the longest in - I would have rejected the money and not believe you. Pshht, Hetalia? What does this anime about personification of countries has that the other animes don't? Well, to that question, I can't answer and still ask my self.

When I first came into the fandom I only knew about it from deviant art and from a site called - Shamchat. This site no longer exists and has a site specifically made to fill the hole of it. I roleplayed and I think my happiest years in the fandom were 2013-2015. Those were the years where I met really, really kind fans. It is like everything else went downhill and the kind and sweet fans left one by one. And I was just left with hateful immature tweens and teens who only cared about their OTP and didn't care about other fans's emotions. I apologize if this sounds like a pitful story and I am pitying me, I did not mean it to sound it this way, or as a whining. I do not like whining.

They also seem strangely neurotic if you ask them why they ship UsUk. I can perfectly tell you why I ship anything without being mean. They just straight up insult you and send you passive agressive smileys - : ) - like this and never explain why they insult you, they just curse you. I do not understand why you make America to be the top? When he is clearly a power bottom?????? I mean, if you ever look through canon manga England and him as a country in a history book you wouldn't think he is a ''uke'' (I really hate the little girls who use japanese and think they kniw the language just cause they watched the anime and think they're quirky if they saw kawaii out loud). In fanfiction he is not fleshed out, he always seemed to blush and say baka and be a boring character over all. While Alfred is this dumb himbo/bimbo character that can't put 2+2 and laughs at everything like a small child. He is 19, for fuck's sake.

He is still a child and people can mature up until 25-26. But these ages are not real ages. For example Germany is 20, even though Bismarck unites Germany in....1871 if I remember correctly? Don't quote me on that and the americans have freed them selves in 1776. So technically Germany as we know it, should be younger but isn't. And they're both still awkward babies. America doesn't have a concrete religion but from what I know, Christianity seems to the most popular religion there as for now. I don't know if Alfred (Even though he is fictional) would identify as a catholic, protestant, puritan or some other stuff but he is awkward, he has a boyish charm that Ludwig does not have. So I can't imagine these good bois being tops with experience. Usually tops/doms come with lots of experience behind their back, or at least this is what people say whom I know who are also part of the lgbtq and bdsm community. Alfred just doesn't have the vibe of a top, he is more of a switch to me, or at best a power bottom. Ludwig has a dom/top vibes but he is extremely awkward in all senses of the word. America doesn't have a concrete religion but from what I know, Christianity seems to the most popular religion there as for now. I don't know if Alfred (Even though he is fictional) would identify as a catholic, protestant, puritan or some other stuff but he is awkward, he has a boyish charm that Ludwig does not have.

So UsUk was forced down my throat ever since I can remember, I have been insulted, threatened and took 2-3 hiatuses purely due to bullying. I Really HATE, HATE, HATE - feminine Arthur. I do not know why this is the fandom's fetish, or at least used to be even though some fans still draw him that way. I really love art, I used to draw and still do. I went to classes through out almost all of my life and I know my proportions. Whether you look through normal fan art or hentai manga (Arthur has the most porn idk how or why) he always has these weird proportions.....of a malnorished tween girl. There is some porn of him either as a child (A toddler by the judgement of his body) or of Alfred as a child, and they fuck. How is this supposed to be hot for anybody? I also remember (Which is why I left amino) on amino that users were extremely childish and lied about their age. Like no, you're not 17 and a half and are ''too mature for your age'' you are 17 and that still is a minor in my book. Also in one of the translated hentai comics there is this...idk how to describe it, there is this shaving scene where Alfred becomes a man and has his first boner from what I remember, the artstyle is great, but the scene can be described a child grooming. England lies to America how boners are a horrible disease and it can only be cured if he stays next to him. He then goes to France who tells him that boners are healthy and normal at this age and is upset at England for lying to him. Then when he frees him self America smiles, laughs and pisses on top of England I think he later fucks him. Like people can try to force their weak argument over england being a uke somehow now, but Pirate England is a top, how in the hell would anyone think he is a bottom?

UsUkers also love weird fetishes and force them down your throat, and not only shame you when you don't ship the ship, they shame you when you don't have their fetish. So like people go to my dms and ask me if I want to MPREG with Arthur beign the ''woman'' in the relationships, and golden showers. I also remember leaders acting unprofessionaly towards me. Some user was sending me child porn and when I told one of the leaders they just told me it was my problem and to fuck off. It deeply upset me so I took a hiatus and when I returned I was just met with another shit wave. I think I left last year because some girl was harassing me and constantly wanted attention. I told her to leave me alone since I have lectures and can't speak to her right now and she told her friend I was ''mean'' to her and her friend started insulting me in every comment on every posted I posted, be it fan art or fanfiction I wrote. Also they can't roleplay properly. I feel like I am in 4th grade where children used to insult each other. Like what stupid (probably american white girl) thing going to tell me this time ? Hmmmm option A - Alfred says that Arthur has horrible teeth, option B - Alfred says that Arthur has horrible cooking, option C - asks for sex and wants to impregnate him even though they are both males, it seems to be quite jokes among them. I get that americans want to see their country as this buff, strong, brave, macho type, but real people have strengths and flaws. In my opinion no country is dumb, they all look after their personal interest and empires love to exploit others, it is just how it is. They basically use english stereotypes and call it a day.

Before leaving I went to another ''better'' amino where I blocked one of the leaders. I don't remember if their name was Alfie or something else but it was something like that. And another leader asked me to unblock her, mind you. I was hesitant but I did. I usually do not block people unless they share content that causes negative reaction out of me - panic attack/rise in adrenaline/shaking/desire to puke/anxiety/etc or they have been a total asshole/bitch to me in the past. So I don't have the screenshots, since I changed my phone a few months ago. I used a Lenovo one and now I have an old huawei I used to have since we don't have money for a new one. So I saved the screenshots where they started saying how Francis is a rapist and I thought we passed this phase. I told the original leader and they all seem to not speak english well but she told me that this leader thought I was mean. I mean...she joked about rape, am I supposed to text - XD LMAO YEAH THE R WORD IS FUCKING FUN, YEAH DUDE YEAH! XD LOL LMAO. From what I see, if I have explain his behavior, he just has a high libido, which is nothing to be ashamed about.

There are also different types of attraction - Aesthetic, Romantic, Sexual. And he appreciates anything beautiful. He also says that ''You can't force love on anyone'' and is generally a really sweet guy. Also from what I see he copes with his loneliness by having casual sex while Arthur copes by abusing alcohol. People cope with loneliness in different ways, for him LOVE is important and he craves intimacy. He is suggestive and says sex jokes which is relateable. He also has moments of walking around naked, and while that may be perverted, far more people have done more perverted things than him. Also Greece and Turkey have a lot more sex than France has ever had. I don't know if it is canon or fanon but I read somewhere that Greece loves sex without a condom since it excites him. France is perverted but so are many other people, if a person is assertive towards such personality he will respect the other person's wishes and not force the issue, because he understands the concept of boundaries. It seems that some fans are either too young or too stupid to understand what is common sense and boundaries. Some couples in real life suffer from mismatch in their libido which is why they go to a couple therapist and ask how they can revive their sex life.

He is not a creep. I have met old men stalking me around after school and I have had a guy at a bar putting something in my drink not knowing that I saw everything so I just left. Real creeps do not understand the concept of boundaries and the fact that people are not their sexual slaves, they crave power and dominance and love ruining people's lives, it doesn't matter who their target it, as long as they are depressed and on their knees crying and shaking in pain and fear. So yeah, rape is not something to laugh at but it seems the shitty girls that got into hetalia think it is peak comedy. With Antonio it is different, I do not like throwing the term - P*dophile around because that is a harsh accusiation but from what I remember from manga...didn't he try to steal North Italy who was a child...to marry him? He never wanted South Italy but got used to him at some point, so I am sorry for ruining all of the Spamano shippers's fantasies. He also raised him. Which brings me to the second point.

England raised America. Period. It is canon, it is in the manga, he found him as a child. England loves America because he is the first thing that did not hate him, for him. Europe in the past hated England, this is why France jokes that he is the - black sheep of Europe. He was abused by his brothers, especially Scotland and threw things at him and chased him away. Scotland is not only an abusive alcoholic though. He is more complex and loves his brother in his own way but historically England was not kind at all to Scotland. So these people were telling me that I am a wh*re because I don't ship their precious UsUk? Well guess what honey, England isn't a useless girly bottom, America is neither a top, nor a dumb guy and England most likely changed his diapers. Also why would America blow his revolution if he wanted to be free? I mean England taxed the hell out of him and was a bit of a narcissitic asshole, so why shouldn't America want to be free from tyrany?

Also for people who bring the - BUT FIORE, ENGLAND KILLED JEANNE'DARC SO THAT MEANS FRANCE SHOULD HATE HIM, YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE! - well hun, France held a grudge for centuries until he got even by helping America with Spain and Prussia to free him self from England's grasp. America was the only thing that didn't hate him because he didn't know him. He was an alone child and he finally had someone to take care of him and listen to him talk, that wasn't a human, that didn't die (Davie) and England is an introvert but he has many issues which is why to him the loss of America hurt so much. Because everyone else hated him, or at least in his mind it looked that way. Portugal was always his friend and in a rare case lover and France had a love/friend/hate relationship with him. People can make the argument that France took care of him but France was probably around 12 in human years and England looks to be around 10 when he wore that blue dress of his and when England had a bow and green cloak and shaggy long blonde hair. France still cuts off his hair to this day. While England was in his late teens 17-8 when he found America who was clearly around 5-6. Their pairing doesn't make sense from a psychological point. So I would love to not have any usuk shit in my feed. I have enough abusive people in my life who treat me like a punching bag, I don't need to get upset online too.

Alfred looks 5-6 years of age and believe it or not some children piss them selves even to the age of 10. Some have medical problems but that is not an issue for now. I have been a nanny. I have taken care of children of all ages, and they're telling me? That I should ship a ship where some guy changed another's diapers but the other guy grew up too quickly and now they are dating? IN WHAT WORLD, I REPEAT IN WHAT WORLD?Does that mean I should feel some sort of sexual attraction and would like to bang children I took care of, because they went to the gym and have what society conciders the perfect body? I guess in their mind I should. In reality somewhat every country is related to hetalia so the boundary between what is incest or not is vague. But even when usukers bring the - BUT THEY ARE NOT BLOOD RELATED? - so what, incest is still taboo and some say that since they don't have blood relation it is not incest, but this is why stepbro/sis memes are so prevelent. Since it is a taboo and taboos get some people excited sexually. Whether they are blood related or not is out of the question, Arthur did take care of him as a child.

This is not meant to cause the old FRUK VS USUK wars, but in my experience USUK fans are extremely harsh and cold, at least to anyone who doesn't ship their precious ship. It is like they can't stand anyone who simply objectivly says - I do not like this ship. Bruv, do you know how many other ships I don't like in other fandoms, and no one has given me shit or threatened to hack my computer and send people to beat me up, simply because I DON'T SHIP USUK? maaaan-Let's not forget that these hypocrites also spread lies and said that ''Himaruya said that UsUk is canon'' and there was this black and white fan art that rolled around Twitter, Facebook and other social media for a while and people believe it. I think Hetafacts or some other youtuber debunked that it was nothing but a pure lie. It should not matter what ship is canon, what should matter more is fans being civil and kind to another but no, let's insult other pairings and make people hate ships they didn't originally hate just because.

Here is another ship I don't like - Russia x China. Also another ship - Russia x Prussia, also another ship Russia x Lithuania, or Russia (Romantically) x Latvia, or Prussia x Liechtenstein (Romantically). I even met one person who shipped Sealand x England lol or England x Seychelles x France or Belarus x Liechtenstein (Romantically) I dislike all of these ships. Do you see the word hate anywhere? No, because I don't hate them? Do you know why? Well no one told me - ''I hope you die raped in shit'' and told me that I am ''r*tarded'' in my comment section on youtube because I said that I do not care about certain ships. You see I used to feel this way about UsUk too. It was meh, I don't care, I see them as father and son, because England literally raised him. Also England is proven to be a horrible neglectful father and a workholic and alcholic. This is the reason why Sealand is taken care of by Sweden and Finland.

I always saw him this way so I don't know how the new fandom just started seeing him as the gremlin that he is when he was always a fucking old grandpa gremlin, not a soft uwu useless femboy that loves sex and screams BAKA every 3 seconds and blushes for no apperent reason whatsoever. I have many things that I don't ship. For example I feel conflicted towards pairings like - China x Japan or Japan x America because the r*pe of nanking is a thing and Japan denies and while Japan may have attacked America, americans kinda rationalize the two bombs and laugh at it while if anyone mentions 9/11 they freak out. So they can joke about other countries's misfortune but if it theirs - NO,NO,NO! I think global issues should be adressed in hetalia and people should make vent/rant art. If you are an indigenous person and a white guy comes to you and asks why you wear normal clothes and he says that indigenous people only wear feathers and all, this is why we need to speak to children about racism. Or being told that being latino/a makes you ''Inferior'' somehow (IT DOESN'T), or you're black and you get told by a white person how you should go back to your home land ''with the bananas''. I can joke about my own country's problems but it feels extremely offensive if the country that did the crime (R*pe, destruction of religious monuments, statues of popular poets from my country, more r*pe, stealing boys and babies and forcing other religion on them so they can kill and r*pe their own mothers and sisters. )I do not blame their descendents for what their grandpas did to us, what I can't stand is the superiority complex they have and how they insult this country and speak in their own language like we don't understand them and pretend like nothing happened, which is why I hate a certain hetalia country with passion.

It really sucks how due to Covid the hate against asians has risen, I heard from my favourite youtubers how certain people harassed them and hurt them for ''spreading covid'' or something. Well this just horrible and we really need to re-think how we treat people who were not at fault for a fucking global pandemic. I don't know where Yao Wang would stand, since he is a fictional country but unless somebody projects their homophobia and xenophobia through roleplay or art and send me hate art, I don't really care who they are as long as their are respectful. I can't stand usuk, and I can't stand the fans. I try to block every account that has this content which sucks ass since they look like cool people but no, it has to be fucking ew ugh usuk they draw. I sometimes feel like a bitch for blocking them since they're not the same fans that have insulted, threatened and harassed me but I would like to not blow my chances and risk ever talking to them. If you want to, you can call me a hater, a basher or anything, I don't care.

In a way everyone in hetalia is related but lets say that I do not have concrete hate over this ship but the serial bullying I received from fans over the years. Which is why I ship things like Seychelles x Iceland or Hong Kong x Iceland and I can't choose. Usually when UsUk fans ''defend'' their ship they have two arguments - It is cute and - the revolutinary war and how much england missed him. Two people may look cute together but would their emotional maturity and personalities match? These are important questions, which is why for me Gerita personalitywise, matches but the emotional maturity gap is way too much. For UsUk America lacks basic emotional maturity, raises his tone, cuts off people when they speak, weird obsession about being a hero and a tiny bit of narcissism here and there, he overly trusts him self which can cause as much problems as someone who doubts them selves. England is in another place mentally is honestly much better off with anyone else that is not America or Canada. Portugal, Spain, France, Russia, Japan,etc. America also has more developed friendships with countries like Russia, France, Siciliy and probably Japan and Vietnam. I think he can date Lithuania for me their dynamic is so wholesome and pure and everything click together. Russia also works but some people are put off by it due to the cold war. RusAme/UkFr is much more than just love/hate relationship, I don't know why people have the impression that they constantly fight and make up. Normal couples don't do that. Whether it is incest or not it is debatealbe. I have seen dynamics like theirs and let tell you that these people always ended up divorced.

I will share some quotes from people on different social medias I have found that describe it better than me -

Quote number 1 - from fanpop

"USUK is actually one of my most hated anime pairings followed by Spamano a few places behind for the same reason. The thought of raising a child as a son/brother only to bang him when he's older is nothing but disgusting and makes England seem like a pedophile for "falling in love" with the child he adopted and raised. I honestly can't understand why so many people insist that America and England aren't brothers and that the pairing isn't incest when Himaruya, the anime director and characters in Hetalia have confirmed that America and England are indeed brothers. Some USUK fans claim that America's independence makes them non-siblings. That's just ridiculous. Even if America would say "I don't want to be your brother anymore" directly to England, it still won't make any difference and it certainly doesn't change the fact that America was adopted and raised by England. If the USUK fans want to ship this pairing, it's fine, but denying that the pairing is incest is just annoying. It makes it seem like they think incest is gross, but desperately try to deny that USUK is incest only to continue shipping it or to keep telling themselves that USUK will be canon, which will never happen just like (unfortunately) every other Hetalia pairing except (possibly) AusHun.''

Quote number 2- from deviant art

''t's this reasoning that made me think back to all the Journal reads, essays and editorials many of the Anti UsUk fans write about why they hate the pairing. They usually mention about the pairing being incest, pedophilia and/or not cannon. While all of those might be true, I think there's more reasoning to why UsUk usually never works. It isn't to say those shouldn't be mentioned, because they should be, and I will mention them. First off, incest. Yes, UsUk is incest, but not because they share blood, but because they're BROTHERS. The fact that England adopted America should not be anyone's excuse for why it's not considered incest. Incest means sexual relations between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other. The definition of related is belonging to the same family, group, or type. Neither of these say anything about sharing blood, or having to be born from the mother's womb. If your parents divorced, and your father married another woman, who becomes your mother, she would be considered related to you, since you both belong in the same family. America and England are brothers, they're family, they belong in the same family, and even share the same family name (Don't believe me? Britain's full name is United Kingdom of Great Britain, just like America's full name is United States of America, which was declared by Acts of Union in 1707 before the Revolutionary War. Coincidence? I think not 📷). No, I do not count their human names, since they're mainly names used for the fanbase to use. Now, for pedophilia, that's the one that can be questioned. On one hand, if England and America are shipped when both are adults, then it shouldn't be considered pedophilia. On the other hand, they are about 800-700 years apart. Though, the same could be said with America and other countries like Japan, Ukraine and Belarus. While America may not be the youngest country, technically speaking, he's certainly the youngest most powerful country. So, if anyone in the fandom is going to pair up America with anyone, male or female, that country is most likely going to be thousands of years older than him. So, do I consider UsUk pedophilia? Well... not if America is already a grown adult. So, unless there are fanart or fan fictions with England being sexual or flirty with kid or youth America, pedophilia isn't really the big issue (especially since I haven't seen pictures or fanart of England being sexual or flirty with kid America, and are perhaps the only brotherly pictures and/or fan fictions I can find of England and America). Being that everyone knows that UsUk is CERTAINLY not cannon, I want to go more deep into why I feel UsUk doesn't work. Let's set aside the fact that it is incest, and look at this pairing from a realistic standpoint. I want to start from the bottom up, which would be the back story of how England's and America's relationship started. Why is this relationship so memorable, and considered adorable? Why does it work so well? To put it simply, the relationship between England and America is very relatable. They both reminded me of my two brothers, and my dad and my uncle. It's the story of the little brother, who looked up to the older brother as the greatest thing on earth; the most perfect person in the world. He could never think of anyone else that could be compared to his older brother. Then, suddenly, that little brother grows up and realizes that his older brother is a compete jerk, or isn't as perfect as he originally thought. Usually, this is hard for any little brother to grasp, and, once he does, the relationship between him and his older brother starts to friction. They no longer share the same relationship they once had. Little brothers can relate to America in trying to grasp and understand that his older brother wasn't the big, perfect person he once thought, when he says, “you used to be so big.” At the same time, older brothers can relate to England in losing the innocent little brother that thought he was the world, then having to watch him grow up, and turn into a complete

jerk himself, or lose his innocence. It isn't that England never saw any flaws in America, even as a little kid, but it's hard for him to watch those innocence and naiveness suddenly flushed down the toilet. Now, America is surpassing England, and England now needs America to help him at times. From what I've seen from my brothers and uncle, it's very hard for an older brother to admit he needs his little brother's help, that there might be things his little brother knows more than him, and to actually call or go to little brother for help. This is continually seen with England and America during World War 2 where America volunteers to help, and England continually refuses, but yet seems to need the help (this is especially seen in the Blitz series). When anyone takes these two characters, whose relationship represents and older and younger brother of our generation, then turns it into a gay relationship, it completely ruins the amazing buildup that Hidekazu Himaruya was intentionally going for. It's not that gay relationships are not relatable, but the one that's made in the UsUk fandom isn't something that gay couples can relate to. Turning something that was never intended to be a gay relationship into one is actually the reason why there are gay men and women that dislike yaoi. It's not only a misrepresentation of England and America, and their relationship, but it's a misrepresentation of gay relationships in general. That's mainly where it boils down to why I dislike UsUk. Yes, homosexuality is one of those reasons, being that homosexuality was VERY looked down upon back during World War 2, especially during the colonial days (if you were caught in the act of homosexuality, you'd most likely be kicked out of the city and, if not, be beaten by countless cowboys, then killed, and those cowboys would get away with it, not being punished for said act even if they were caught). More than likely, England and America were homophobic back during those days, since many Americans and Englishmen were completely against homosexuality. It wasn't until around the Cold War, or during the 1960's, when the world started changing their viewpoints. Though, with that aside, UsUk, to me, just can't work with the back story and buildup of the show. Though, the same should be said for many yaoi fandoms in general. Many of them just don't work with the cannon buildup set for the two male characters. If people try to pair America and England up, keeping the cannon story line of their relationship, it comes out as unrealistic, and a misrepresentation of gay relationships, the relationship between England and America, and history in general. It isn't to say that nobody should write UsUk. In my opinion, whatever shipping you want to use is completely up to you. Though, if you want to write a UsUk fan fiction, it needs to not ruin the cannon relationship buildup set for England and America. In other words, I don't want a UsUk of any type to use the same cannon back story from the Hetalia series, otherwise it just becomes very unrelatable, and ruins the intended relationship buildup between England and America as older and younger brother. Anyways, those are my thoughts on UsUk, and why I don't like the pairing in general. You can agree or disagree, but I wanted to get my thoughts out. You can let me know in the comments about your thoughts on UsUk. I'm interested in knowing what your thoughts on the fandom, whether you're a UsUk fan or completely against the pairing, like me.''

23 - Have you ever had a ship become canon, but you didn’t like how it was portrayed?

- Korra x Asami (It looks rushed and I think Asami deserves better, in my eyes Korra constantly changed relationships and has immaturity issues, I watched the show a long time ago tho)

- Light x Misa (Misa deserved someone who cared for her)

- Erza x Jellal/Gerard (Erza deserved better, the guy looks like he is an extra or made of plastic)

- Ban x Elaine (I really dislike this ship, I read some articles about Japan and I do not know if this real/legit and please excuse me if I spread misinformation, but from what I read, some people said that Japan has p*dophilia problems. Certain mangaka or their word for the comic/manga artist, put loli characters on purpose to please a certain fanbase that likes this type of content. I look like a loli somewhat because I have small frame while other girls matured on body way too fast, I remained skin and bones up until the age of 19, after that I somehow started to gain some weight on my legs but that doesn't mean I am still not short and skinny on my upper body. Old creepy men, asking where you live and asking you sexual intimate questions when you just want to buy you self some dinner after school, isn't my idea of fun. Which is why - 100000 years but has the body of a loli is bullshit. There are older women who have smaller bodies but no matter how young you look, every human being starts developing wrinkles and hair falling at some point in their life. They may be small, but they surely don't look like lolis.

[robotnik-mun]

So, what happens when I decide to throw caution to the wind and mash together as many fucking Sonic Continuities as I possibly can? You get a big ass tangle of a family tree that needs to be split up into five separate images, that’s what. 

It’s ugly, it’s unpolished, and I made it on a whim. Because the mental image wouldn’t leave me. And because I actually started developing this godforsaken nightmare of a family tree, born of merged continuities, headcanons, and sleep deprivation. 

Now keep in mind that this thing is pure crack- it implies a world where Sonic eventually collapses from exhaustion of having to fight TWO Robotniks. It’s a mish mash of what-if’s, continuity mergers and personal ideas glued together. And I wanna stress it has nothing to directly do with my current setting- this is just like, The Path of Insanity. 

Anyway, yeah. Against my better judgement I made notes for this insanity. Also, you may notice pictures of characters from other franchises being used as portraits for various characters. Those are basically faceclaims of sorts, meant as abstract representations rather than the literal idea of what they looked like... since, honestly, even I’M not cruel enough to inflict my ‘art’ on you. 

Anyway, let’s get the ball rolling- 

“Robotnikhotep”

-Robotnik Ancestor in ‘Mobigypt’. Was probably some big important muckity-muck.

“Julius Robotnikus”

-Probably Mobius’ answer to Caligula. His family eventually fell out of power and was forced to re-settle in what would eventually become Overland. 

Ivo Kintobor

-Yeah, that whole ‘House of Ivo’ thing? This is the guy responsible. Most likely a douchenozzle, as there is a high concentration of that in the bloodline. Basically a minor warlord who unified a bunch of clans to form his own Kingdom, that was subsequently absorbed into Overland during the unification. 

Brutus Kintobor

-Oh wow, a SKINNY Robotnik/Kintobor. This douche canoe attempted to conquer Angel Island for the Overland, but failed miserably. Sent back home in disgrace, a failure.

Gerald Robotnik

- Originally born Gerald Kintobor of the House of Ivo in Overland. He was more interested in science than politics, and after completing college he left that mess behind and immigrated to the United Federation. He changed his name to signify the break from his family history. 

-Explored Angel Island in his youth, where he learned about Chaos Emeralds and the like from the various ruins there. He was even friends with then-guardian Janelle-Li. 

-Started up Robotnik CORPS. He founded it as a way to disseminate his technology to the people of the UF and earn money to fund more experiments. 

-You know the rest. The ARK, Maria, NIDS, Black Doom, Shadow, yadda-yadda-yadda. 

Olga Robotnik

-Gerald’s wife. Duh. 

-She met him while he lived in a spare room her father was renting out. She’d collect his rent. They grew close and eventually had kids and started a family. 

-The shit this poor woman endured is amazing, but she managed to remain unbroken by it, and tried to remain close to her surviving grandchildren. 

Grigory Robotnik

- The first son of Gerald. He wasn’t a genius, but he pursued a career in academics and became a doctor of physics. He had two children, Warren and Maria.

-After the ARK incident he became paranoid and accused the government of covering up what really happened. The obsession to uncover the truth destroyed his physical and mental health, and he died a shunned outcast ranting on pirated radio stations about various conspiracies. 

-Died in a halfway house, but he managed to get ahold of Gerald’s diary before biting it. While he never got to use it to bring down GUN, it still paved the way for Eggman’s eventual use. 

Amelia Robotnik 

-Maria’s mother. After the ARK incident and the supposed death of her children, she fell into a deep depression and eventually committed suicide. In case you haven’t noticed, the story of the Robotnik family is depressing as fuck. 

Warren Robotnik, ‘Warpnik’ 

-Maria’s brother. What a tweest! 

-He was with her on the ARK, and demonstrated a similar scientific gift to his grandfather. He wasn’t close to Shadow the way Maria was. 

-When the ARK was raided, he was captured and subjected to brainwashing treatments by GUN in the hopes of turning him into a loyal, in-house mad scientist. All it did was make him batshit crazy. 

-He escaped some time during the Great War, and is now loose in Mobius, a lunatic geneticist fixated on continuing his grandfather’s ‘great work’... or at least his own warped perception of it. 

Maria Robotnik 

-You know her. You love her. Her life is a tragedy. She’s Maria! Nuff said. Years later, and she still weighs heavily on Shadow. 

Ivo Kintobor

-And here is where things get a bit confusing! Ivo was born ‘Ivo Robotnik’, the second son of Gerald. Long story short, he was a douche more interested in politics and profit, and as such did not get along with his father, who bequeathed the family company to his younger brother. 

-Despite this, Ivo SOMEHOW managed to reproduce. And when the ARK incident happened, he bought the government line hook line and sinker. He changed the family name back to Kintobor and moved everyone back to Overland to start anew. 

-He’s like 50% responsible for Julian winding up the way he did. 

-And yes- he DOES want to bulldoze the puppy orphanage to create a combination oil rig/toxic waste dump. 

-Was murdered by Julian, who disguised it as an accident. 

Lydia Kintobor

-ICE BABY ICE. 

-Julian and Colin’s mom. 

-She 100% supported her husband’s douchery, and was an active participant in tormenting her secondborn son in the hopes of ‘breaking’ him out of being a genius. 

-Killed in the same ‘accident’ that took her husband’s life. 

Colin Kintobor Sr. 

-Born in the United Federation, but moved to the Overland as a child and grew up there. 

-Major league Nationalist and Human Supremacist. Prick. 

-Hated Julian basically forever and was encouraged by his parents to do so. He became their ‘golden child’ and was pushed to succeed at everything. 

-Pursued a career in politics, law, and the military, and eventually served as a general in the Great War. 

-Was eventually murdered by his own brother

Miriam Kintobor 

-Colin’s first wife, via arranged marriage. 

-She was pretty much his opposite, yet despite that fact the two came to genuinely love one another. 

-Died giving birth to their son. Have I mentioned the Kintobor/Robotnik family history is a trainwreck yet? 

Angela Kintobor

-The second wife of Colin. She probably met him while serving as a military functionary during the Great War. She is also the mother of Hope Kintobor. 

-Other than that, I got nothin’. She likely died when Hope was young, by way of Swatbot invasion. Seriously, do NOT become a Kintobor Love Interest. 

Colin “Snively” Kintobor Jr. 

-You know him, you hate him! It’s the Snivster, bay-bee! 

-His mother died giving birth to him. His dad blamed him for this. You can guess the rest. 

-You know most of the story- crappy childhood, admired his uncle Julian, helped him take over the Kingdom of Acorn, spent a decade as his punching bag, etc etc. 

-After seemingly offing Julian during Endgame, he briefly took over the Robotnik Empire.... and promptly lost it to Naugus, forcing him to flee for his life. In exchange for information about Robotropolis’ defenses, King Acorn spared his life but sentenced him to be imprisoned forever.

-Was busted out by a returned Julian so that his uncle would be able to properly ‘thank’ him for losing his empire. Helped the FFs to escape Robotnik’s revenge, and after spending time bumming around with them (and hating it) decided to throw in his lot with Crazy Uncle Ivo. 

-He’s regretted it ever since... though he sticks with him because its either Ivo or Julian, and Julian will ensure his death is cruel, messy, and lingers for years to come. 

Hope Kintobor 

-The second child of Colin Kintobor. She was born during the later years of the Great War and spent much of her early life living in siege conditions as Overland tried and failed to stop the advancement of Robotnik. 

-Eventually she witnessed the death of her father and remaining family at the hands of Robotnik before being saved by Sonic. She had an extended stay in Knothole afterwards, where she slowly learned that much of her people’s views of Mobians was innacurate. 

-She eventually moved to the United Federation as a ward of GUN, serving as the technology expert for Team Dark. She is close to all of them. 

-Seeks to redeem the name of her family so that it’s legacy won’t be one of bloodshed, conquest and madness. She’s got a waaaays to go, to put it mildlry. 

-Despite everything she still cares about her awful, awful half-brother. 

Dr. Julian Robotnik 

-Had a REALLY goddamned crappy....well, life, basically. Take my word for it. 

-Has basically murdered his entire immediate family by this point. 

-Prior to the Great War he aided the Overlander Ministry of Conflict in toppling the legitimate government of the Kingdom of Amunopolis (Aleena’s Kingdom), forcing it’s royal family to flee to the Kingdom of Acorn and re-settle under new identities, with crown princess becoming ‘Bernadette Hedgehog’. That’s right- he’s indirectly responsible for Sonic existing. 

-Blah blah blah evil experiments blah blah war crimes blah blah sentenced to be executed by Overlander government during the Great War and blah blah blah coup.

-Took over a large swathe of Mobius and expanded to conquer more, and for a time seemed like he might conquer the entire planet. The Robotnik Empire is.... not a fun place. Then or now.

-Then Sonic and the FF’s happened. Then Endgame happened, and he was... indisposed for a while, leading to his empire being diminished. While he has returned, he has suffered numerous setbacks since then, and the Robotnik Empire is now greatly diminished from its peak. 

-That being said, he still rules a pretty big part of the planet, and is still the biggest danger to the world at present.

-Hates his cousin Ivo.

-REALLY goddamn hates That Hedgehog. 

Laura Kintobor 

-That’s Doctor Laura Kintobor (nee Ellison) to you, buster. 

-She and Julian both worked as scientists with Overland’s science ministry, where they met and befriended one another. She eventually managed to coax Julian out of his shell, and their friendship bloomed into a romance, which led to the two marrying. 

-She worked in the organic sciences division and was an expert on biology and zoology. In contrast to most scientists, she was very much an outdoorswoman. Even managed to convince Julian to partake. 

-Much like her unfortunate sister-in-law, she died in childbirth... giving birth to a stillborn daughter. 

-Yeah, this shit is grim. 

Theodore Robotnik

-Third son of Gerald. Blatantly named in reference to Theodore Roosevelt, who was used as a visual reference for Eggman.

-Basically a professional beancounter who later inherited Robotnik CORPS. He chose to stick with his original name even after the ARK incident, and struggled to keep Robotnik CORPS afloat in the immediate aftermath of the incident. 

-Set up a trust fund for his son Ivo, and tried his best to raise him to be a contributing member of society. 

-Sufficed to say, that didn’t work. If he’s still alive, he has a REALLY tense relationship with his son. 

-Named his son after his older brother as a passive-aggressive act of spite for abandoning the ‘Robotnik’ name. 

Dolores Robotnik 

-Mother of Ivo. She was a professor of chemistry who decided to put her career on hold in order to be homemaker. 

-Was much closer to her son than Theodore was, and often wound up having to play peacemaker between the two. ESPECIALLY during Ivo’s tumultous teenage years. 

-Sufficed to say she is not exactly pleased with how he turned out, assuming she’s still alive even. 

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik

-HE IS THE EGGMAN. HE’S GOT THE MASTER PLAN! Really, do you NEED to know any more? 

-Well, okay, you do. He was born very shortly before the ARK incident and never knew his grandfather. 

-His childhood wasn’t horrible, but it was rough in areas due to his high intelligence making things more difficult for him than they should of be. Loads of disagreements with his dad over pursuing science. Spent years plagued by the derogatory name of ‘Eggman’ due to his weight problems. 

-You know how you fantasize about ruling the world as a kid? He never really left that stage of things. 

-He initially worked as a research scientist in the fields of AI and energy. During the Great War he was approached by GUN to develop weapons for them. His research would go on to form the basis of the robotic soldiers later used by them in the Robotnik war. 

-Began his plot to take over Mobius during his time there, and secretly began to appropriate resources and machines to build a hidden base on the distant South Island. Eventually his schemes were discovered by GUN, but he fled. 

-While his cousin conquered portions of Mobius elsewhere, Eggman began his long term Death Egg scheme as a means of conquering Mobius in one fell swoop with the aid of the Chaos Emeralds. 

-You can guess how it goes from here- he encounters Sonic on South Island and in the Scrap Brain Zone and is defeated, thus setting the tone for MANY other defeats in the future. He eventually took on the name ‘Dr. Eggman’ as a way to differentiate himself from his cousin, and to make the insult that dogged his life into a name to be feared ala ‘Penguin’. 

-When his cousin Julian was seemingly killed and the Robotnik Empire in dissarray, Eggman started new bids to take over the world. He established the Metropolis Zone as his ‘capital city’ and founded the Egg Army to help supplement his Badnik Horde. The Eggman Empire now exists as a terrorist army at the beck and call of Dr. Eggman, though he’s still got a ways to go. 

-Has four sons by three different women. Slut. 

???

-Haven’t got a name for her yet. She was a random girl that a college age Ivo knocked up, which putty much put an end to her collegiate ambitions. She gave birth to two sons, one of whom she bitterly named ‘Ivan’ as a reminder of his origins after failing to get child support out of her babydaddy. She re-married and is currently leading a comfortable enough life. Humors her son because she knows it annoys his biological father. 

Ivan Eggman

-The oldest of Eggman’s sons. In his mid 30s or so. Scientifically gifted, as his father was. 

-Has numerous, numerous issues pertaining to his stepfather, a hard and strict man with little toleration for nonsense.

-Idolizes his biological father and desperately wants to be acknowledged by him, even changing his original surname to ‘Eggman’. Eggman the 1st was NOT amused. 

-Eventually founded a company, Eggman Industries, and grew rich rapidly. Settled by the Bygone Islands where he pursues life as a ‘villain’ now, though really he’s more like a public nuisance than anything. 

-Honestly he’s basically living a ‘second childhood’ of sorts using his scientific know-how and riches, and has vowed to one day impress his father and earn his acknowledgement. As you can imagine, it is.... not working out at all, given that he’s even more of a goober than his pop. 

-Ironically, he isn’t naturally bald- he SHAVES his head. 

Steve  

-Yeah, he ain’t a robot here- Steve is the organic, younger (by about a minute) twin brother of Ivan. 

-Utterly unconcerned with science or any of that jazz. He’s basically a bohemian beach bum, complete with californian accent- he spends much of his time surfing and earning cash from side jobs. 

-Really mellow and easy-going, and doesn’t really dwell on stuff. 

-Utter himbo. 

Mrs. Robotnik 

- Ex-Wife of Ivo Robotnik. Haven’t given it too much thought, but she and Ivo met while working in acadamia, and eventually married. 

-Initially the relationship was pretty solid, and they even had a child together. However things swiftly deteriorated between the two as Ivo’s immaturity and increasing anger at the world strained their relationship, along with him being a lousy parent to their son. She eventually divorced his ass. 

-After going through a rough patch with her son, she has begun to re-connect with him after his years a delinquent, and now happily supports his endeavors. 

Ivo Robotnik Jr. 

-Middle son of Dr. Eggman. Had a nonexistant relationship with his father while growing up, which combined with the divorce eventually turned him into a juvenile delinquent. 

-He roamed with a biker gang for a while, and prefers to be called ‘Junior’ rather than ‘Ivo’. 

-Fell in with Breezie for a while, the both of them unaware of the other’s connection to Eggman. They eventually went their separate ways once Junior began to turn over a new leaf. He still carries a torch for her, though is painfully aware it’d never work out. Their relationship is... complicated, these days.

-Has since become a software security engineer, making a living providing Anti-Eggman/Robotnik software to companies. 

Lindsey Thorndyke

-A famed actress. She and Ivo had a drunken tryst at a wrap party where he’d been invited to act as a consultant on scientific accuracy. To avoid scandal she informed her husband, and they passed off the baby as their own. 

-What more do you want. Its LINDSEY. 

Chris Thorndyke 

-The youngest son of Ivo Robotnik. Spent much of his life completely unaware of his true parentage. 

-Eh, what can I say, I kind like the theory of him actually being a Robotnik in some capacity or the next. 

-When he was a boy, he befriended Sonic and his friends and even hosted them during the days when Eggman’s schemes for global conquest caused him to haunt Station Square for a while. 

-Admired his grandfather Chuck and pursued science to be like him, studying physics and engineering. 

-Thanks to his mom he’s something of a film buff. 

-In college he learned the truth of his heritage. This has put a strain on his relationship with his parents.

Francis Kintobor 

-The youngest of Gerald’s sons. Pursued a career as a schoolteacher. While he changed his name in the aftermath of the ARK incident as his older brother Ivo had, he chose to make a small joke at his brother’s expense over the ludicrousness of the name change by naming his own son ‘Ovi Kintobor’. 

-Named after Francis Mao, aka That Guy Who Made That One Comic Adaptation From 1991. 

Elizabeth Kintobor

-Dr. Ovi Kintobor’s mother. A career veterinarian with a strong love of animals. That’s about it. 

Ovi Kintobor 

- Grew up on Westside Island, among Mobians. Had a pretty happy and contented childhood, and like many of the other various members of the Kintobor/Robotnik clan developed a pronounced interest and skill in science at a young age. 

-Developed a particular interest in researching Chaos Emeralds.

-A Concientious Objector, he served as a medic during the Great War.

-Deeply, deeply shamed by the actions of his more notorious cousins, he has essentially hidden himself from the world to pursue his research and evade their notice, while helping against them in whatever way he can. 

-Has secretly transported people threatened by his cousins to safer places, and once caused a mass sabotage of their respective robotic forces through the ‘Nicenik Virus’. 

-An ally of the Freedom Fighters. 

-Deeply distrusts GUN (which frankly isn’t a bad call).

-Bit of a hippy, but really is a genuinely nice guy who wants to help others through science. 

-In some villages he is known as ‘Mr. Tinker’. 

[amenomiko]

Thank you for the request! Hahahaha this will be fun (ू•ᴗ•ू❁) ❤.

ODA FORCES ONLY

Nobunaga

She is strong and brave but.. An airhead. Clumsy too. She is very oblivious most of the time and Nobunaga find himself tired of hinting nor being direct towards her.

His smug personality and his usual smirk never, NEVER work on her. He can't help it. She is really one in a million kind of woman, and he flirt gradually changed from "Rule by my side" To "I'm interested in you" and such, because her respond is just "Oh, okay?" and "Eh, why?"

So he had to do this. He had kabedon her, and confessed directly to her with "I love you." That is SO not him. However, he smiled to her startled face. That's a good sign.

"Of course..!" She beamed. "I love you too!"

Oh finally--

"...and Hideyoshi-san, and then Mitsunari-kun, and Mitsuhide-san and Ieyasu-san and Haguro and--"

Blah blah and so on and so on. This will take forever.

So he pulled her into a kiss to shut her babblings.

When they pulled away then she goes "Eh- eh-- Hawawawawa Q/////Q??"

.........FUCKING FINALLY.

Hideyoshi

She is better when it comes to taking care of her own well being than Mitsunari but..

"My Lord..!! It's the princess!!"

Hideyoshi abruptly jolted from his working desk. What is it this time?? Ever since she came here is nothing but trouble. She has spilled the tea during tea-time, she has spilled the sake onto Mitsuhide's head, she had poured the ink onto Nobunaga's important documents (to which Nobunaga just laugh at so he have reasons to slack off), and now--

"What are you doing up there, MC?? Get down from that tree this instant!!"

"Ah, Hideyoshi~! Hi~~!"

"Don't you "Hi" me now! Get down! It's dangerous!! Just how did you climb that tree with your yukata anyway??"

"Eh O3O? Oh." She blinked. "I'm not sure (´・ｪ・｀)."

He literally slapped his forehead. "Oh god--"

"Oh, I just remembered that I found a baby bird and help it to return back to it's nest and-" She slipped. "Kyaaa OAO!!"

"MC--"

CHU!

Hideyoshi: MMF O/////O??

She blinked into their kiss and she pulled away, giggling to his flushed face. "Hehehe your lips is so soft, Hideyoshi (*´﹀`*)."

He nearly explode.

P/S: They are not dating yet 😏.

Masamune

They are best friends. Masamune knows very well on how clumsy she can be, and so he would always guide her until she understand. Except the duty in kitchen, he would let her watch while he is cooking.

One day she wanted to try to cut some vegetables. Alright, he lets her. But ah, she cut her finger. Masamune immediately tend to her and instead of stopping the bleeding by applying torniquet, he suck on her finger.

She was startled by this and she accidentally knocked the pot and the whole miso soup spilled onto the floor. "Oh no..!" He gasped with "Shit shit shit shit..!"

He is not upset though, but ever since then MC had been avoiding him.

He had recalled what he had done and assumed she took the blame for the miso incident. Oh, here she comes-- "Hey Lass!"

Anddd... She turned away.

This misunderstanding must be solved right away, he couldn't bare not talking to his best friend. 2 weeks is just too much. He missed her adorable smile.

He managed to catch her by her hand, explaining that he was not upset at all but she still refused to look at him. But when he pleads "Please, Lass? Do you hate me? Please look at me."

She did. She shook her head, saying that she didn't hate him at all.

"But then why are you avoiding me?" This question make her face the other way again.

"I... Don't know.. I just.."

He waits patiently until she continued,

"When you helped me with my wounded finger, I.." Her eyes lowered before slowly turning around to face her best friend. "Ever since then, I.. My chest feels uneasy. Masamune, I.." Her face scrunched. "My heart will beat so fast whenever I look at you..! I don't know..! I- You-"

His eye widened to her blushing cheeks. "I know you are good looking but.. I don't know why I find you look dashing more than ever and it makes my heart race so much.. M-masamune, what should I do..?"

Shit. Shit shit shit and shit-

That is PURELY and OBVIOUSLY A LOVE CONFESSION!!

His heart were screaming and he is too speechless to respond to her adorable-oblivious personality.

Ieyasu

One word. Hell.

Enough with Mitsunari. Now ANOTHER ONE HAS APPEARED--

OH THE STRESS-

His hair is falling-

Oh God.

She is so careless. A bloody airhead. Will always be confused and smile to his sarcasm. Just like that- that- PURPLE BAD BED HAIR AHOGE--

"Hya!" The book fell from her grip as she stumbled upon Ieyasu in the hallway, bumping on him by accident. "Oh, Hi Ieyasu..!" She smiled. "I didn't see you there."

"..I pray that that will be my eternal wish of a lifetime." He scoffed.

"You are praying even in the afternoon? That's so passionate of you (*´﹀`*)."

"Just... Get away from me already."

"Oh oka-" She slipped her leg, falling to the side and Ieyasu automatically catch her and POOF! There they are, lying together on the wooden floor, with her on top of him.

"Can you not---" He growled, "...cause another thing that can ruin my day--" He froze to her smile.

"Wh- what are you looking at?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I realized how beautiful your evergreen eyes were."

Thump!

"...I like it."

Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!! Shit. What is this? Why is his heart is thumping so hard..??

This is..

Annoying.

Make it the second word to his diary of life.

Mitsunari

It's better if they are separated.

Because it's nothing but CHAOS if they are together. Even under Hideyoshi's watch.

They are like a pair of airheads. Making trouble without realizing it.

For example, both of them volunteer to brew the tea. Mitsunari as usual will pour the tea MORE than it should, and as for MC, she will stir the tea too much until ALMOST nothing is left.

Mitsunari: One, two,... Hm. This is not enough. Three spoonful.. Oh..! *pour almost HALF CUP FULL* hmm.. I guess that will be okay (ㆁᴗㆁ✿).

MC: Let's stir and stir and ORAORAORA >w<!!! *drip* Eh why is the tatami wet (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)?

The warlords: *mega face palm*

Hideyoshi: *shaking from the way they waste the tea that were imported specially for Nobunaga*

When they were nagged at, their faces will be just (*´ω`*) 🌸🌸🌸 (Ieyasu almost get a fever from the MAJOR stress in his head)

Then one day when they announced their marriage, Ieyasu went pale and fainted (Poor Ieyasu).

Them: Aww Ieyasu-sama / Ieyasu is very happy for us ♪ヽ(*´∀`)ﾉ ❤

Mitsuhide: Both of you need to get your full health check-up, especially mental wise ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^).

"....Why O 3 O?"

It's Hideyoshi's turn to faint.

Mitsuhide

Oblivious MC is unbearably cute.

But it's not good for his heart.

He teased and teased, finding himself every ways to offend her, though..

She smiled innocently to all of his teasings and at the end of the day he have resorted to "I guess a woman like you is too bland. I find it boring." He grinned, waiting for her reaction.

"Oh okay. Cool." She nods, showing that his comment is like an arrow that fly upwards before it could reach her head.

Cool-

"I'm saying that I find you.. Not charming, you got me, MC?" He tried again. God. "Try"? Another reason that this is not good for his heart. Teasing is part of his nature but an airhead MC is like a huge wall in front of him.

She giggled. Wait- she giggled?

"..It's alright. You don't have to be nice to me, Mitsuhide. Because my opinion of you won't change even though you find me boring."

The corner of his lips twitched. "Oh? Your opinion of me?"

She smiled like an angel, exactly like Mitsunari as she said "I will always like you even though you don't like me (*´ω`*)." <- no other deep meanings at all.

Mitsuhide feel as if someone just stab through his heart with a spear of love.

"Hm. Hmhmhmhm." He chuckle from his throat, even a passing Hideyoshi finds it eerie.

But as for MC, she giggled with him innocently.

Them : ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ (ﾉ´∀｀*)

P/S: MC like this... Must be PROTECTED OAO