#menaller
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dreamdropsystem ¡ 8 months ago
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Shoutouts to:
cluster a autistics
cluster b autistics
cluster c autistics
depressed autistics
anxious autistics
autistics with eating disorders
autistics that deal with hallucinations
autistics with dissociative disorders
autistics with tics
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pap3rcrown ¡ 1 year ago
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sorry still thinking about henry not hugging sparrow back bc out of all the dads henry is the only one (besides darryl i assume) that still talks to his dad. he /forgives/ thats in his nature he takes care of his dad despite everything he did. but he cannot find it in himself to be warm to his own sons like we dont know what the fallout in the 20-30 years since season one happens but what the fuck could have happened to henry, who loved so deeply to act so cold to his boys. i mean im sure he didn’t approve of how they dealt with the doodler but there has to be something else there yknow. i mean im sure ill find out next ep but fuck man.
idk i dont think ill be able to handle it if they pull a close family and go “this is the best it’ll ever be” like obviously lark will never have a strong relationship with henry but sparrow?? and at this point its not looking great for normal and sparrow (maybe sparrow and lark will somehow be good but like. i hold up little hope) god i dont fucking know theres a little but of a downward spiral going here for all of them.
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mjshortformcjesus ¡ 7 months ago
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youll NEVER be as good as kaz brekker
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slightly-gay-pogohammer ¡ 10 months ago
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wake up babes new fan nymph just dropped. she's the nymph of animals and she's like if gau from ffvi was a girl
once again thank you @claraknight for the PHENOMENAL (HAH!!!!!!!!!) name pun!!!!!!
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glowstone23b ¡ 1 year ago
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warden/ancient city thoughts …
Anicent cities aren’t actually cities, they’re actually massive temples instead that devoted themselves to a certain god (im not sure what god the old builders would worship akandk)
They laid many people to rest in those underground crypts, that a bit of their souls leaked out of the bodies and infected the glowing cave vines, resulting in a strange mutation of sculk
and as more people died and got places in those tombs,,, the more sculk spread
Eventually some worshippers caught notice of this and assumed it to be some gift from the gods, so they continued to add fuel to it, experimenting with it, etc, finding out that when a creature dies— instead of the soul ascending to an afterlife, it is instead pulled down by the sculk and merged into what was like a sentient hivemind of connected souls working together to become something akin to an organism
At some point, as evolution of the sculk furthered and sculk sensors formed, it eventually led to a sculk shrieker
and after worshippers activated it a couple times in a row,
It summoned the massive, blind hulking beast known as the warden. It harvested as many souls as it could from the worshippers as it chased after them, leaving no one in it’s wake, before retreating back into the biomass until the next time there is a significant amount of soul that alerts the shriekers once more
Ok mini rant story thing over. i like to think that sculk works in a weird sort of method
Catalyst farm and form the extra sculk needed to begin an infection —> sensors pick up on sounds made by noises that supposedly could be creatures with a soul —> shriekers sound a scream that helps determine if a warden should form —> warden harvests any nearby creatures to help the sculk spread. if killed, the warden drops a catalyst, so it can all begin again
The warden itself is a weird amalgamation of human souls stuck together fused with the sculk. the main reasoning for it being blind (other than cave animals usually being blind since low to zero light requires little need for eyes) is because detecting sound means a very high chance of something w soul
Sculk sickness …. Possibly a rare disease only picked up by deep miners. nasty no good and probably hurts as the sculk eats you from the inside out
Illagers came across the ancient cities and set up camp for a short amount of time to try and study the sculk . you can imagine what happened to them
[ i like to think every ‘living’ creature in minecraft has a soul. that keeps them alive and thinking and breathing and stuff. and undead mobs have soul residue which leaves them with very basic instincts or things they subconsciously remember how to do ITS A FUN THOUGHT ]
[ in my little au illagers love experimenting w souls . because the more you experiment the more messed up results you get (vexes being the fused collective of 2-3 allays, or creating abominations via sticking two different mob souls together… possibly how ravagers came to be since they look a bit like villagers that got turned into beasts . fun theorizing ]
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Hey invention? Phanon? I love your mind, it's wonderful. Have a drawing!
I've never drawn a warden before, mostly because it's been very daunting, but I think I got it out the way I wanted it to!! Sculk itself is kind of like... a fungus-y tentacle-y mixture, and i got some inspiration from the devil's fingers fungus irl! Really cool, I suggest giving it a look-see.
In my head, sculk would start off kind of like little eggs or pips or... whatever those things are... there's a name for it, when a plant or a cell decides to split off to make a new plant or cell? Mitosis? Bulbs? Plantlets? There's a word I'm looking for. Anyways. They'd probably grow mini sculk bits off of more mature ones so they can drop off and spread on their own, kind of like some types of succulent if that makes sense? Which explains the little sticky-outy bits on the wardens' horn things. Man, there's gotta be proper terminology for this, my brain is not finding the right words today.
They'd release some sort of bioluminescence when disturbed, and have an almost tar-like substance produced to trap smaller mobs (spiders, bats, etc.) that happen to wander too close, akin to fly traps. It wouldn't work as well for humans, but it's not uncommon to have your foot tugged on by some sculk in the hopes it can digest you.
I went off "The warden itself is a weird amalgamation of human souls stuck together fused with the sculk" because it's FREAKING COOL, so !!! Yeah!! I've got some of the larger/longer sculk tendrils used as arms and 'fingers' in a sense, though they're not all that precise in use. It just opts to smack the heck out of people usually. The bones in the shoulders and feet I thought were really cool on the in-game design, so I feel that the sculk would grow around any sorts of bones it had access to to keep a more stable structure. Keeping yourself upright if you're a soft mass of plantiness/fungus-yness would be a little tough, I think. Also, keeping bones close to the sculk might make it easier to tether souls together? Who knows!
It'd be neat to see what types of matter the sculk would attach to to form a warden-- it could be enderman bones, for all we know! Big and long and short and stubby, and all of the bones are in the wrong places. Using femurs for toes, or ribs for arms... it'd definitely not be fun to see in person.
Sculk sickness sounds SO NEAT TOO!!! I imagine you might be able to inhale it, like spores? Since it feeds off of xp or souls, you just keep fueling it once you're infected whether you like it or not. Does it have any cure, or would you have to have some sort of surgery to try to remove the existing sculk from your body? That'd cause a heck of a lot of complications, if it were to block anything internally. Wild, but neat to theorize about.
And YES on the experimenting with souls thing! Especially with the update so vexes look a lot more like allays-- definitely experiment material. I wonder how many more mobs are out there that we haven't seen because they haven't been made yet? Just mish mashes of any sort of soul they could get their hands on, inhabiting a body that doesn't feel quite right. Kinda interesting!
Thank you for sharing as always ily you rule. Your theories slap, may your inventory be full of diamonds or something. May the Nether's fire guide your way, idk. More piglin-y, as per my blog, lol.
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ilovepupsomuch ¡ 6 months ago
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SCREAMING BC ME ME DUDE I WANT YOU I WANT RO LVOE YOU FLAWS AND ALL I WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOU I WAN TTO BE THERE NO MAYTER IF YOURE ALL FLAWS EVEN THOUGH IK YOU ARENT ARRRH YOU DUMB CUTE LITTLE IDIOT
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ballsalsda ¡ 5 months ago
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When the intrusive thoughts get lowkey incestuous and you have a mental breakdown over it
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cartoonishreal ¡ 1 year ago
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insane giggling as I throw these Karl drawings around and gnaw at them like a crack addict with rabies
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considered-the-tetrapod ¡ 5 months ago
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Something I've learned about myself is that if you leave me alone in your house or apartment I WILL clean your kitchen
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milaisreading ¡ 6 months ago
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"But, by saying someone can't say a genocide didn't happen, u are taking away someone's freedom of speech"
☠️☠️ play on the smallest violin in the world for all I care
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wisedumptruck ¡ 7 months ago
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I bite. I don't know why I bite. And I hate that I bite. I'm supposed to be nice. I'm supposed to be kind and treat people well. I'm supposed to handle my emotions without hurting anybody else. I'm scared of myself. I'm scared that I will end up biting the wrong person and getting myself put down. I'm scared I have hurt the people I care about to much for them to trust me, to love me. I feel like a rabid animal.
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dreamdropsystem ¡ 8 months ago
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i am NOT sorry i cannot hide my autism and other disabilities.
we always have been disabled, and it's always been unconventional, for our family, school, peers, etc etc. we only recently got diagnosed properly for a lot of things, others we don't know. we've alway been chronic ill, with mental, physical and developmental disabilities.
cause of regression we can't mask pretty much mask at all and it's irritating for some system members but for me i feel it's freeing cause i don't care!! we are disbaled! we can't hide it and that's just it.
happy autism awareness / acceptance month - Chocolat
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zebedeezing ¡ 2 months ago
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One of my gorillaz order of events theories for phase 2 - 3 is that Russels suicide attempt was a lot earlier in the timeline like only a few months after noodles disappearance like 2006 maybe 7. The reason he knows how to swim over to point nemo is because hes become familiar with living in the sea as a cryptid for 3-4 years, and that’s also how he adjusted gradually to the toxic fish diet etc.
Noodle finds out about Russel, thinking hes dead ofc she’s devastated and now she CANT bring herself to go anywhere near Murdoc and 2D so she looks for him on the sea to confirm and then commits to living out on her own until later when she goes to battle the black clouds.
I think Murdoc still manages to barely believe Noodle is alive but doesn’t believe Russel is. He makes Cyborg noodle and it’s kind of a taunt bc he thinks Noodle seeing a replica of herself as this ~ child soldier she was formerly raised to be would stir her into coming back. But he sees Russel’s presumably more clear cut death with the note as a big betrayal and doesn’t wanna even try getting another Russel both out of respect and disrespect & disdain - just uses the hip hop machine which is kind of counterproductive since the machine was built by Russel and screams Russel when you look at it.
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jevindaily ¡ 2 years ago
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can you draw jevin in the tag hat from the crossover? if not, can i have an hhh :)
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[95] He is going to suffocate Mythical J Sausage.
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jamminlocks ¡ 1 year ago
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Venti Fontaine hijicks part 2 (pt 1)
venti is in court (for drunk reasons probably). Traveler and Paimon are his attorneys. unknown to the watching audience, there is a huge amount of stress and pressure for them, along with Furina and Neivellette to not mention the fact that bard on trial is actually the archon of another nation.
venti's trail will be known as a strange trail where there was no rain outside.
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mmmmbreadsoup ¡ 2 years ago
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Rough Day
1.6k words
Tw: self-harm, self-hatred, mentions of blood
Summary:
You had been having a rough day when it all comes crashing down. How would Michael react when Michael catches you self-destructing?
It had been a few months since Michael had found you. It almost seemed like a twisted daydream you were stuck in. After Michael had taken you in, there were only a few incidents. Such as, your father finally noticing your absence which led to the police finding you in Michael’s care. That little fiasco didn’t go so well, as Michael was known for his violent and brutal ways. No one came looking for you after that.
Speaking of violence, recently he had been coming back with piles of money. You had taken this as a gift to spruce up your room in his house. With that much cash, you were able to paint your room pastel yellow to fit the rest of the house, and decorate your room to the best of your ability. It had been probably years since someone changed the light, so changing the light was on your to do list. Scrounging up the last of your money, you went to the hardware store. That was mistake number one of the day.
Ever since you made your presence known, nobody dared to step foot within six feet of you. Which was to your advantage at the moment because you need space to relax. But also, because lights needed to be chosen. You were choosing between a wall light and a ceiling light when you dropped something. Normally that wouldn't be that bad, but today was going so bad already. You had been doing good to keep the thoughts at bay, but with little to no coping mechanisms, there was only so much you could do. The rest of the trip went by fast, with you getting what you need, but also getting something that you would regret later.
Getting home wasn’t too eventful except for the fact that the radio was nothing but static. That was tragic. Now you were alone with your thoughts and a painful sound to cage them in. 
Once inside of the door, you finally let the tears withdraw from your stinging eyes. You didn’t want to crash, so you had to fight back tears on the way home. Which was honestly worse, as you had to wipe your eyes multiple times, because vision impairment was terrible for a driver.
Looking around panicked, you realized Michael wasn’t at home. That wasn’t good. That was definitely not good at all. You decided to at least try and get by those thoughts. You were never able to sit still in the beginning of these parts. Pacing around the kitchen, your eyes continually traced back to the block holding all the kitchen knives. You tried your best to block the thoughts out, anything to occupy your mind, but nothing came to exist in your mind except for the overly loud thunderous intrusive thoughts. Slowly you became more and more numb with each passing second. The tears had run out, and emotions were no longer present. Making up your mind, you crept up the stairs with light ghostly steps. Just in case Michael was home, you peeked into every room. He wasn’t there, that was both good and bad. Good for your more irrational part of your brain, and bad for the part of your brain that was trying its best to signal hesitance. 
When you looked down, your hand was filled with a brand new blade. The metal handle was a metallic color. You had found it best suited for the job but also because of its nice color. You pulled your pants a bit of the way down to get a look of the scabbed lines holding place on your thigh. They were still healing, which just meant that you’d have to go a bit more down than you were expecting. 
This was the part that always made you give it a second thought. But those doubts never lasted long. The wave of hate washed over you again as you brought the blade to your lower thigh. Pushing inwards, you gave a quick and light swipe. Starting off small was the best way to try to give yourself boundaries on how far it should go. You could never bring yourself to go deeper than having white show before blood. 
You cleared out the daze that settled in you and looked at the wound. Little beads of red were starting to form around the cut. Deciding it wasn’t enough, you did it again. This time, it was a bit deeper. You held onto the handle with a tight grip, and slid it against your leg. This one had settled in an emotion that was too often for you to mistake it, self-hatred. You quickly went from a few cuts, to quick angry lines being formed. Some were shallow, but most were a bit deep. Blood was pooling around all the cuts, slowly dripping down the sides of your thigh. 
 That’s when you heard a shaky intake of breath.
You snapped your head to the left, and there stood Michael. Just staring. A few seconds were shared before you dropped the blade onto the bed. He started walking towards you, not even bothering to lighten his steps. Normally these things always went wrong, so you thought he was going to just be rid of you. Thinking back, it was a bit hypocritical to judge Corey if you were going to be just as useless. But the choking or stabbing never came. You looked up at him and he was just waiting for your cue. You slowly got up and went into his arms. If anything, this was the time to be most vulnerable with him. You sobbed into his chest, not even saying anything. He just held you there before you managed to slip a joke about having to clean up your filthy blood. After a few more seconds of squishing you in a bear hug, he let go so that you could go dress the wounds. It only took a minute. You had done this before, and using rubbing alcohol made everything faster. Despite people telling you not to, it was just faster and more efficient in your opinion. So you got some paper towels, got them wet, and dabbed at the dried blood. After cleaning off the blood, you took out the alcohol. It was a bit painful, but you bit back any reactions that might’ve came out. Then came the bandages. You took out some clean bandaging and wrapped it around your leg, making sure it wasn’t too constricting. After double checking and throwing out the trash, you decided everything was good. Coming out with bandages on your leg and a fresh pair of shorts, you lowered your head and walked back to Michael. 
He gave you a moment to decide if you wanted contact with him, or distance. You chose the first option, you didn’t want to be alone again. So he decided that it was fine if you wanted to hang onto his arm while he made his way downstairs. He made his way to the fridge to grab some pineapples, watermelon, pears, and cantaloupe to throw into a medium bowl. You had always loved some fruit salad, so he thought it would probably be a nice gesture like he’s seen other people do. He offered it to you, in which in return, you gave a small smile before taking it out of his hands. 
After plucking a few from the bowl, Michael unlatched his arm from your hands. You didn’t think anything of it, he probably just needed to take a break from physical contact. But you instead, heard the t.v click to life. Sounds of the Comedy Central channel sparked to life as you swiveled your head to take a peek. South Park was the chosen show to be broadcasted. That was your favorite. He walked back up to you, and once again, offered his arm. You balanced the bowl in one arm, and attached your hand to his extended arm.
You went to sit on the couch, but eventually ended up leaning into his side with legs folded up to your chest. Normally you would be holding the bowl, but since tonight seemed to be an occasion that called for gentleness, he offered to hold it. So you two sat there in comfortable silence watching the show as you slowly began to get tired. You leaned closer to him laying your head against his shoulder.
All those tears seemed to be draining all your energy as the t.v screen got blurry. Allowing yourself to succumb to it, your eyes became heavy with exhaustion. Next thing you knew, you were being carried back to your bedroom. You tried looking up but Michael brushed his hand over your eyes to tell you to go back to sleep. And so you did. 
You woke up covered in blankets with water next to your bed. You looked around and noticed he took your blade. That made you a bit frantic, as you searched for your other blades. They were missing. He had searched for blades and had taken them all. 
You went downstairs to find all but a single knife remained inside the knife block, that way he knew if you took it or not. You looked around a bit and realized he was on the couch dozing off in a light sleep. He probably didn’t get much to make sure that you were safe and calm. Deciding it was best to let him sleep, you went over to the kitchen and got out a pan. Thinking back on the night, it might’ve been tense, but you were sure that today would be better. Michael would make sure it would happen.
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