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Got a whole degree and everything 😔

If you have a PhD or an MD you can say shit like “Doctor’s orders” and you sound authoritative and powerful but if you’re a step short of those and you say “Master’s orders” you sound cringe as hell and possibly corrupted by the One Ring, this sucks

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I'm certain this is on Tumblr somewhere, but I haven't seen it around, so I'm sharing it myself

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Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)

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Guy says he's wanted to see a live action version of Princess Mononoke for over twenty years. So, instead of spending time learning to make films and about cinematography and actually creating his own art?

He dumped some money into an AI generator to make a shot for shot remake of the trailer.

Dude decided the best way he could pay tribute to an iconic movie about the importance of the relationship between humanity and nature was to recreate it in a manner that includes no human actors and is an industry that is notoriously demanding devastating amounts of energy in the middle of a fucking climate crisis, this shit is beyond parody.

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Being the only guy who works in a beauty store is fucking hilarious sometimes. Im the only one who can sell our shitty beard shampoo and a not insignificant amount of our customers think im untrustworthy. According to my coworkers i use every mens product we have so they can get dudes to buy a shaving cream. Trying to explain to people that theres no difference between "men's" and "women's" products is like talking to a brick wall. Ive had multiple women get angry with me for sampling them out one of our "men's" moisturizers when they specifically said they wanted a mattifying one to control oil and that's the best one we have for those two things. I still think about the guy who came in asking if we had "masks for men." I contemplate ending it all every time someone returns a completely unused product that they absolutely refuse to try just because it either says or doesnt say "for men" on it. 90% of the time its the perfect product for them. I had a lady who was willing to buy a worse product for her needs that was more expensive just so it wouldnt say it was for men. Are you ever tired? Are you ever exhausted? These are the same kinds of people who say that im the one whos obsessed with gendering everything because im trans.

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she jack off my trades till im master of none

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Bad idea: continuous presidential election.

The polls never close, you can always go change your vote to any of the currently eligible candidates.

The president is in power as long as they have the most votes, but that could change at any time, not just every 4 years.

If enough people get out and vote you could end up going through 5 presidents in one month.

No term limits of any kind, maximums or minimums. You're in power for exactly as long as you're #1 in the never ending popularity poll.

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Holy smokes the gender stuff aside "there's no true god beneath the false one; there was only ever you" just smacked me right in the head

I get why people like the idea of The Magic Powers Recognize Your Gender, but to frank I think this sort of thing would have worse consequences than expected. It would just be another weird box to be shoved in, another apparently-objective test no different from chromosomes. imagine being a trans woman except the Magic doesn't accept you? Lol good luck, magic says you're not a girl.

There isn't, actually, a way out of self-description; Ultimately just because something Powerful chooses to write down your True Name as one thing makes it no more or less True or Real than your parents doing it.

There's no True God beneath the False One; there was only ever you; the Lord may force the Bondsman to say what is true, but cannot really make it so

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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Barsboldia drawn in the style of 18th century cattle paintings

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congratulations piracy

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I’m not booping btw I’m actually throwing a fish at you full force

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funniest joke about chess is cheating using overhead mirror to see your opponents pieces

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what do they put in large rocks that make u just want to. stand on it.