#men will just get mad over anything
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The angriest a man has ever been with me was the time I told a guy I wasn't interested in reading the Game of Thrones books because I'd already had a Warrior Cats phase and they seemed pretty similar
#game of thrones#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#warrior cats#i am cringe but i am free#fandom#booklr#making men mad#lol#jon snow#daenerys targaryen#war of the roses#all art is derivative#that isnt a bad thing#men will just get mad over anything#funny#joke#but fr this happened and i didnt appreciate how funny it was in the moment. ill carry that regret for the rest of my life
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Tip I'm so fucking mad (dad was being evil YET AGAIN)
#he was revving up his motorcycle for no reason and the driveway is like right next to my room so it shook the walls#and he was SOOOOO loud i had to get off call#and then my mom called me and so she called him. and my dad is SO WEIRD about missing phone calls#he gets unreasonably mad he's hit me over missing his calls before#so he was like Why didnt you answer IN THAT DEROGATORY TONE THAT MEN DO#and then my sisters kids were having fits and crying and my sister is doing her fucking best#and he just starts scolding THE KIDS AND MY SISTER like if youre not gonna do anything you old shit stfu#i know you hate your own kids but leave other kids alone#its so. im so!
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The Good Omens fandom is fascinating because they’re vocally supportive of the lgbtq community, especially trans people, including not misgendering, yet when Crowley and Aziraphale consistently go by “he/him,” they call them nonbinary
In the book, angels have no gender unless they “make an effort.” Is that not an effort to you, or are you just willingly misgendering them while calling anyone who thinks that’s hypocritical a terf lol
#this’ll cause some spicy opinions#or not idc#i wouldn’t even care about the nonbinary/gay man debate if the terf word wasn’t thrown out so flippantly#not everyone who thinks you headcanoning david tennant as a pretty girl is goofy hates trans people susan#not a single trans person irl would care about this. not a single goddamn one#i don’t even think gay men give a shit about good omens#so who’s this for?? lesbians vs nonbinary demiaces?? whatever.#anyway they’re both whatever. it’s media baybe#stop accusing people of going for trans genocide just because you wanna see david tennant in a dress lmfaoooo#cw: genocide#<- just for the spicy verbiage#inb4 no i’m not a terf uwu i have trans friends but literally#some of y’all get real mad when gay people try to have anything#good omens#good omens meta#ineffable husbands#they can be nb if you want but don’t faceblind yourself to obvious metaphors because it doesn’t directly apply to you#gay is over#aziraphale#crowley#i love how michael sheen acts as thirsty as possible just to spite the uwu they’re ace blorbos ppl (and also he’s thirsty to be fair)#lgbtqia
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EJ fanfics are so funny 😭 the dude has been growing lately too, literally just ran into a fanfic where he was 8ft tall. The height of my CEILING. Everyone in the fandom is progressively getting taller and I find it lowkey funny. Jeff is always at least 6ft in most, Tim ranges from 5’8 to 6’1, people keep making Brian 6’3-6’4. Just saw a fic where Toby was 6’4 too. The tall men are taking over 💀
We did this too we’re all guilty of it I’m so sorry 💔💔💔💔
In syg we made Brian like 6’6” 6’7” (idk irl Brian’s height so we just went crazy) but then we realized. Alex is taller than Brian. So. He’s 6’8”?? But he’s QUITE a bit taller than Brian!!! Shit shit shit. Uhhh I guess he’s 6,9”????
And then we made jack 7 feet.
Pet peeve though is when people make Tim tall. He is not tall. He is below average . And that is sexy of him ok
#I’ll be real. it’s the size difference kink#I think most people have it#but when people make Tim ANYTHING over 5’7 I get mad. he’s literally like 5’5.#do not make him that tall#he’s a little guy and not even in a weird sex way he is just a bit short#you guys don’t need 100000 6 feet men#it is fun though.#Brian IS tall. but I think Joseph is only like 6’4 maybe.#so he’s probably 6’
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i LOVE a dudebro trying to say he actually cares about equality in sports by basically admitting he doesn't know much about sue bird or megan rapinoe or that they're legit engaged... trying to distance himself from the title 'brodude' by proving he can't even bother to google some names before he makes a tweet but yeah, hyping up your soon-to-be wife is the death of rational conversation around equality as it concerns womens sports. lmfaoooo
#like if a man doesnt spout his opinion 24/7 about things he knows nothing abt hell die lmfao#like dudebros are always going to find a reason to make the argument against womens sports but i love the men that like#put their foot in their mouths over n over trying to pretend thats not them#as if they give one shit abt womens sports or how its perceived in their daily life like god.#anyway.#rant over . i already ranted to lou but im still pissed off lmfao#ik im just taking those words in bad faith but. maybe if every other tweet didnt read like that i wouldnt have to !!!#saying women are good at their sport. the best at their sport. having the best career doesnt diminish anything lmfoaooao#men are allowed to say it all the time. how many of them have total GOAT status like fuck off bro#only dumbasses like that poster are the ones that get mad alongside the brodudes hes trying to separate himself from#arguing whether someones been The Best Ever is already a fucking stupid cyclical subjective matter for basically every sport anyway FUCK#be normal
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Do terfs know it’s possible to be like “I like girls but I’m not into dating someone with a penis regardless of gender. It’s just a personal preference. I can think that without saying that genderqueer people are invalid and dangerous” or do they live like they see with V.A.T.S. and everyone is marked as hostile?
I’m using someone attracted to girls in this example because the last one to show up in my feed was a lesbian who was VERY vocal about girls having a penis, but that can go for any gender and any orientation. You can just, not be attracted to an individual, that is very much a thing. You don’t need to find everyone fuckable. You don’t have to be so weird about it and start to get hostile towards random people for just existing. The stuff I have seen those people say unprompted is insane. They really do see things as “penis bad” and ignore everyone and everything else.
#emma posts#I’ve seen them go on and on about how‘I don’t hate men. I just don’t like them’ and then#they will go like ‘and I think that’s okay because I think all men hate women and want to hurt me’#sorry but I’ve been around and befriended enough guys to know that they aren’t all woman haters. most aren’t#and if anything they are often pretty clueless#because of how society is structured#and I don’t know weither I should feel relieved or mad over the fact that they just kids ignore#genderqueer people who don’t have a penis#like it’s fucked up that they are doing this to anyone but you can really see that it’s just#‘men are inherently bad’ in the nature of what they say. they never say trans men (using the term correctly) are dangerous#it’s only trans women#but they really think that they aren’t just being convinced that men are different and bad#inherently dangerous and are bound to hurt you#like sorry but that’s not feminism#feminism is about going after patriachial systems and all that#things that affect everyone and are what taking action on would actually be good to do#tw terf mention#and then a bunch of them get convinced that gender roles are real and that there is an inherently masculine and feminine energy or something#like girlie you are going full circle. that’s gender roles again.#but they never actually care to engage with THAT fact#before they even start with me I have and was born with a vag and two X chromosomes. which is a thing i only know because I took several#genetic tests for unrelated reasons. that’s because chromosomes don’t always ‘match’ what you developed to have in the womb#it’s actually a very complicated and messy process with a lot of potential results but that’s above middle school science class#and someone was calling people gendies like. if you’re going to try to insult me make up something better#it’s always annoying when bullies can’t even come up with something interesting to harass me with#I’ve been called worse. you can do better than a thirteen year old#or maybe they can’t. they don’t understand science above that grade so how could they come up with something better than the 13 year olds#I’m not making this re-blog able right now because I’m fucking tired of shit#no one pays attention to me normally so it would be super annoying to get noticed over THIS
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One of the things I kind of like saying but it really, REALLY pisses neurotypical people off- is "it's just a piece of paper."
Stupid laws? Piece of paper. The Constitution? Piece of paper. Money? Paper. Marriage certificate? Piece of paper. Any contract, degree, ect is a piece of paper. Your value you place on the paper is just that- your value of a piece of paper.
#be chronically ill and tell me every doctor you meet is the smartest person you know#it won't happen#i just watched a docuseries where two BIOLOGISTS went for a hike and one got bit by a rattle snake#and the other tried to suck the venom out and they WRAPPED HIS LEG TIGHTLY while he BIKED MILES back to civilization#literally everything wrong they could have done any they're degree biologists#they paid money for a piece of paper#marrige is a contract which is a piece of paper at the end of the day#people get really mad about that too that marrige is a partnership contract#if you get legally married anyway#and i don't mean to undermine the history of people fighting for marrige equality or anything like that#its just seeing cis het norms doing things like making gameshows for quick marriges to have obligation families#thats a sobering reminder on its the value placed on paper#the constitution obviously is outdated and had been constructed by privileged and some problematic men hundreds of years ago#its a piece of paper regularly used to opress just as often as to protect#what are laws when theres a dictator? you know how many laws are violated by rich people in power? why if i threatened#someone id be scooped up and forced hospitalized while rich white people can threaten acts of treason and sleep in their mansion the same#night. the pieces of paper (laws) are only enforced to such extents when it is convenient (to oppress) many times over#sorry I'm manic and having intrusive thoughts#my point is people break laws and sometimes it's almost like laws are just pieces of paper used or not used when whoever sees fit
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idk! people always seem to make latino characters more sexual (i see tons of explicitly horny fanart of some recent popular latino characters) and hot headed than they are in canon and reduce them down to stereotypes. when the source material, it usually moving away from that and showing them as fleshed out characters (sometimes lol). of course, people will process and interact with media in w/e they want, but i think people need to be more mindful with how they perceive/treat characters of color in general. are u reducing these characters down to stereotypes in the end? please think critically for like 2 seconds.....
#maybe i am over reacting but its very annoying to see this trend as a latino person#granted its only been latino men that ive seen get popular but still its like. come on.#are we still latching on to that whole notion of angry latino and then turning that anger into like sexuality (if that makes any sense lol)#sorry i am not very articulate with this stuff. im just thinking about my own lived experiences#im not really pulling from and 'academia' or anything#txt 44#i guess i get mad at this bc ppl will treat will life actors this way too and its so bizarre?
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#tag talk#bottom dysphoria kicking my fucking ass right now.#hey does anyone want a penis for 6 dollars and fifty cents? it covers shipping and handling. it's basically free#when I do too much looking at hot butch and trans man photography it gets a little overwhelming and I suffer.#how does the brain even work like this? somehow my body collectively decides this piece of meat is undesirable for us#and now having it makes me sad.#how does that even happen. what level of nature and what level of nurture. how much am I born this way and how much did I develop so#idkkkk I'm just supremely unhappy and I'm starting to realize that the period during which I identified as transfem was#was me conflating womanhood with not having a dick and as fun as being a hot woman was it didn't fix the underlying hardware issue#when I first found out about trans men I was in high school and was like holy shit how do I sign up.#idkkkk it's like. I feel bad or wrong for it but I'm not wanting it out of anything except dysphoria.#ironic though if you think about it. amab guy is happy being a man just wants to be pre-op trans man instead#neither man nor woman but secret third thing (confusingly genderqueer and cripplingly dysphoric)#and usually I can just avoid thinking about it.#but every time I cross my legs. every time I roll over in bed. every single fucking time I have to shower. I hate it I hate it I hate it#my body is built wrong and I suffer for it#once again mad at that bullshit “god made trans people so we could take part in creation” quote. wait lemme look it up so I can hate proper#“God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine#so that humanity might share in the act of creation.#looking it up plenty of people find it meaningful. maybe I shouldn't hate on it.#I just. it feels like such a religious trite thing to say. one of those things that waves away am inexplicable hardship about the world.#and it just doesn't make real sense when you look at all the factors.#anyway. I'm just mad because I'm in pain therefore I lash out at anything within range.#born wrong and mad about it. put that on my tombstone or some shit
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Idk I just have no patience for trans men/masculine people who refuse to acknowledge transmisogyny. Like. The worst experience I ever had with transphobia was when I was mistaken for a trans women. In a culinary program, I was cutting bell peppers, and one of the other students, a really big dude in a student leadership position, walks in and accusatory goes "so are you trying to be a woman, or something?" And I'm like. Well I'm trying to small dice these peppers. And I tell him I'm not a she and he says something to the effect of "Yeah I know that much." He makes some comment abt how whatever I'm doing doesn't make sense and he doesn't get it and when I tell him he doesn't have to, that he just has to respect it, he says "I don't have to do shit!" And gets real mad! Like actual threats mad! Tells me he could bash my skull in and to meet him outside for a fight and yeah it was fucking scary! The entire interaction I'm reminding myself that I'm the one currently holding a knife, if he tries anything.
Fast forward a few days later and my period is kicking my ass. Just absolutely destroying me. I'm in the dish pit, and I am visibly struggling, I'm nauseous, I'm in pain and bracing myself against walls. I'm not walking straight. And the same student leadership guy who was so aggressive with me when he thought I was transfem?
He tells me I look like I'm going to pass out. He says it's obvious I'm in pain, I shouldn't be in class, I can go sit down and if nobody can replace me he'll do the dishes himself.
Like. Do you get it yet. It's not just that he felt comfortable openly threatening me in a room full of other people when he thought I was a trans woman. It's that he did a complete 180 and was not only willing to support me, but actually pick up my slack once he knew I wasn't "that kind" of transgender. As soon as one of our classmates confirmed to him that I wasn't the wrong type of trans person I suddenly became someone who actually deserved care and compassion in his eyes. The "bigots think we're all the same and hate all of is equally" rhetoric isn't fucking true. It's just peddled to deny the privilege we have over other members of our community so it's easier to ignore how inhospitable supposedly trans-centric spaces are for TMA people.
#transmisogyny#everyone says solidarity but actual solidarity requires acknowledging intercommunity issues. A lot of you would rather die it seems
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#i am in a constant state of all because of s random man#im muslim and i invited a handful of married muslim Women to a pole dancing class#mind you i felt this group was scary so i wasnt gonna do shit but another sister had asked me to teach and set it up#the majority id them said no bc they ahd to work and whatever which was fine im not finna stop you from making money#but then this one sister who tbh does not dress appropriately done said something to the Woman thats over the Muslim women#or so i thought bc it doesn’t seem like she would have an issue#turns out her bitch ass husband was the one who said something to the man thats over the men#and the man thats over the men told the women thats iver the women and she called me saying its against islam#newsflash it isnt#any she used very long quran quotes to say thay pole dsncing was satanic and scared away the sister who were going to go#AND THE SIS THAT ASKED ME TO SET IT UP#and since my number was on the flyer it make me look like the master mind behind this thats tryna lead women away from islam#so i go up the sis whos husband had a problem and apologized if i offended her#she wasbt offendsd in the slightest#it was her BITCH ASS HUSBAND THE WHOLE TIME#who you get a sis who dont dress right snd get mad when she wanna pole dance#you pick and choose how you want a woman to express her islam#it was a PRIVATE FUCKING CLASS FOR WOMEN#and this the same bitch ass nigga who immediately got her pregant and since she cant drive she barely been to the mosque#hes a control freak and is insecure bc hes ugly as FUCK and his wife oretty and so be checking her phone to see if shes texying other dudes#hes a bitch ass nigga#and his daddy a bitch too#and pole dancing isnt against islan#if i were to pole dance in front of men that would be fucked up but i would never do thay bc i really dont like these nigga#like a borderline hatred for them#the reason there an issue with it is bc of how peiple sexualize women and how every thing we do#so instead of bresking down the patriarchy and the shit thats creeping into islam before our eyes#you just tell Women not to do anything!!!#but to get married and have babies#so when we find something fun for us to do its a damn problem. anyway i start my pole teacher training in September. fuck thwse niggas
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Mark your territory.
pairings: colonel!caleb x wife!reader
cw: unprotected sex, office sex, marking, biting, possessive!Caleb (I mean it's Caleb we're talking about), mentions of babies, impregnation kink, breeding kink, baby fever, knocking up, mentions of killing, thoughts of the reader being pregnant.
Remember Caleb's hand that you gave a permanent bite mark when you were kids? Because he's always worried when you're sick, you'd always bite your tongue-- so he lets you bite his hand instead.
Caleb doesn't care if it hurts-- as long as you don't hurt yourself. He's okay with it.
Well, it's the same hand that you still bite 'till this day to muffle your moans while he's pounding deep inside of you, in his office-- well actually in any places you both fuck at.
And to be honest, the colonel doesn't really care if your moans and whimpers gets loud to the point that others can hear it, so that they're aware that he's the one fucking you dumb.
However, as possessive as he is, he never wants others to hear those sweet moans from you. He's the only one who should hear it-- he'd rather kill those who can even get a little glimpse of hearing those adoring sounds-- that's exclusively just for him.
Because, he's the one fucking you balls deep-- not them, while you moan and whimper in return.
He considers your visible bite on his hand-- a mark, a permanent one. When someone asks him where he got that-- he'll be proud to say that his lovely wife gave it to him.
While on the other hand, he wants to give you a permanent mark too-- a baby:(
This man will do anything just to knock you up for good and have your stomach swollen with his baby.
The thought of it turns him on all the time.
Always wanting to cum inside of your warm pussy, and fuck all of it inside of your womb. He always makes sure you take it all-- not a single drop wasted.
"Even if it doesn't take, I will knock you up over and over again until you're carrying my baby."
This man doesn't show any shame in saying these things to you.
He's just marking what's his-- marking his territory.
Fics of Caleb:
(Wo)men in uniform.
Lasting Mark.
Play your gun right!
Fuck me like you mad at me, baby!
Got your head in a headlock!
Pussy can be so facetious.
Pink, Pink, Pink!
#lads#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#lads caleb#caleb x mc#caleb x reader#caleb x you#lnds caleb#caleb#lads smut#love and deepspace smut
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FRIENDS WHO PLAY TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER ! ! — ARCANE
( tw ) f!reader. FF pairings. modern AU! masterbation. fingering. squirting. cunillings. dry humping. reader is kinda possessive in Vi’s. some yearning.
featuring. Violet, Caitlyn Kiramman & Mel Madarda
authors note. When you off that honey packet and ur home girl the only one in vicinity. Mel is so 🤭 I can’t she my type to a teeee. Anyways I’m about to go watch Act 2 WISH ME LUCK IM SCARED. Also idk how I feel about Kaits part I could do better 😔
VIOLET
You and Vi were at another one of your friends' sleepovers. You didn't wanna come, you wanted to spend the Saturday just the two of you, alone. You hated sharing her attention, she was your best friend. You were each other's number one, why did you need other friends when you two were each other's everything. It was late now, almost everyone was sleeping or about to fall asleep when Vi crawled between the bodies of people to where you were laying. You didn’t notice until you felt the familiar embrace of her against your back. Despite yourself, you felt yourself relaxing against her body.
“Are you still mad at me?” she whispered into your ear before placing a gentle kiss on your bare shoulder. “You know my favorite person. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah, whatever.” You grumbled. You weren't truly mad anymore but you knew what came next, what Vi did to reassure you that you were special to her. Her only best friend. You weren’t surprised when her hips rocked into your ass, when she pressed her tits against your back nor when her hand traveled underneath your oversized sleep shirt and cupped your breast.
“Vi…” You sighed nuzzling into the arm underneath your head. She tightened her grip on your breast and rocked her hips into you. You push back harder and soon enough you guys find a rhythm. Your ass pushing down on her hips when she grinds up into you. Her callused palm grazes your nipple and you whine softly. She whimpers into your shoulder, finger going to your nipple when she pulls and twists. You wish her mouth was on you, you wish your mouth was on her. You turn your head to her “I love you the most. My favorite forever.”
You feel her smile into your shoulder. “You're so beautiful, you know that?” translation: I love you too.
MEL MEDARDA
You couldn’t believe it. Your best friend’s tongue was inside of you. Licking you. Her lips were sucking on your clit, her teeth were biting your pussy lips. You could hear how wet you were—you could feel yourself leaking all over her face. “Mel!” You scream out into the dark room before slamming your hands over your own mouth. You don’t want anyone to see you—you don’t want her mother to see you, what a scene she would make. Seeing her daughter nose deep into her childhood best friend. Mel pulls her mouth off your clit with an embarrassingly loud pop. “Do you feel that? This is how you’re supposed to eat pussy darling.” She smiles when you just nod. Afraid that if you remove your hands from your mouth, you might confess something you don’t want.
Plus, this was just a favor, strictly platonic, you were just friends. That’s why she was eating you out in the first place—you wanted to finally dip your toe into the dating scene but you were scared because you were inexperienced, you didn’t wanna leave your future partners disappointed in your nonexistence skills. And that’s where your best friend came in. Where you didn’t know anything about sex, she knew what felt like everything. Though you never saw her with anyone, she talked like she knew the ins and outs of men and women and she offered to teach you.
“Now after you use your mouth and get them wet you wanna bring in your fingers, like this.” Mel grabs one of your thighs and pushes it down, giving her a better view of your dripping pussy before using her free hand and pushing a slender finger into you. You gasp. “I know you’ve fingered yourself before sweets, how many fingers have you shoved into this pretty pussy?”
You whimper, hesitantly removing your hands. “T-two Melly.” You answer bashfully, using the nickname you gave her when you were children. She hums and adds another. You bite your lip, lower abdomen clenching when she curls them into your spongy g-spot.
“Now pay attention to me alright?” She leans down to place a kiss on your pubs, leaving a trail of light kisses until she reaches your clit. She moves her hand out of you and a fast pace, fingers curling when she knuckles deep. You moan at the feeling of her hand pounding into you.
She gives your clit a few kitten lips before wrapping her full lips around the swollen area. She bits hard enough for you to wince before she starts sucking. You feel yourself coming apart on her face before you can stop yourself. She hurriedly removes her fingers, mouth sucking you even harder when you feel liquid gush out of you. You grab the back of her head and scream. You can’t stop it, you don’t want to. You throw your thigh over her head and curl your foot into her back, still riding the high. When your pussy stops shooting the mysterious liquid out Mel’s fingers find themselves back inside, four this time.
You feel tears collecting in the corner of your eyes, as she finger-fucks you. Mel pops back off your abused clit to whisper praises, good girl, you're doing so good, look at how well you take me, you feel heavenly, and when she goes back to playing with your clit you know you don’t want anyone to fuck you unless it’s her. Maybe you can ask her to teach you how to give hickeys next.
CAITYLYN KIRAMMAN
You were horny. Cait was horny. You both kept glancing at each other when you thought the other wasn’t looking, sussing out what the other was thinking. The movie you guys were watching was a rating away from being straight porn. When it was over you, both decided to call it a night. It was late she said. You guys had class tomorrow you said. When the lights turned off, you both said goodnight and laid down in your shared bed. You two were so close and loved being near each other that on the first day of the semester you pushed your twin beds together. Oh, how you were regretting that idea now. All you wanted to do was fuck yourself. You knew you weren’t going to fall asleep without an orgasm and so after twenty minutes when you thought Cait was asleep, you found your hand traveling into your boy shorts. You sighed in relief when your fingers grazed your throbbing clit. You rubbed it for a few seconds before shoving two fingers into yourself.
That relief was short-lived when you heard a breathy moan that didn’t come from you. You tensed up and stopped. When you didn't hear anything—maybe she was making those noise in her sleep—you slowly started to move your fingers in and out, palm rubbing against your clit. You bite your lip to stifle a moan and turn onto your back. You could barely move your fingers in and out lying on your side. You part your legs and moan when you finally hit your G-spot. You're so horny but your imagination isn't cutting it. Opening your eyes you turn your head to find the outline of your best friend who was the star in some of your fantasies, her hourglass figure would for sure spark a fantasy. When your eyes adjust to the dark you're shocked to see Cait staring back at you, her blanket pooling at her hips when you could see her hand abruptly stop moving. Your Cait was masturbating too, in the same bed as you. A grin spreads along your face.
“I-I’m not—”
“I am.” You whisper, pushing your blanket off you. Her eyes immediately latch onto where your fingers are slowly pushing in and out. Your other hand comes up to your tank top where you push your shirt down. Your breasts spill out. Cait’s face turns into a tomato, eyes widening even more than they already are. She doesn't remove her gaze from your breasts when she starts fingering herself again. You watch her mouth part into a small O and her eyes roll to the back of her head. You imagine what she looks like riding your face and start to speed up. Your other hand twisting your nipples.
“I-m gonna..” Cait whimper and spasms for a few seconds. You moan at the look on her face, so pleased with herself, and soon enough you're squeezing your eyes and coming too.
#.satoruan writes#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane x female reader#arcane x y/n#vi x reader#vi x y/n#vi x you#violet x reader#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn x reader#cait x vi#mel medarda#mel x reader#mel x you#Mel x y/n#arcane smut
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They’re loud in the living room.
Hinata, curled happily with a bag of chips on the floor, adjacent to Bokuto and Atsumu sat sprawled out on the couch, while Kiyoomi was as collected as could be on the free cushion, hands folded in his lap with his elbows on his knees as his dark eyes followed the plays on screen. You watch as they cheer and hoot at the saves and spikes, groaning when one team scores and cheering when theirs does.
It’s a scene that you’d love to see over and over again.
It’s also a scene you love to mess the serenity of.
“Sakusa,” you call from your perch in the doorway, and immediately, all heads whip to you. Kiyoomi tenses up, Atsumu sits up straight and Bokuto blinks owlishly, and from the floor, Hinata’s head cocks to the side in interest. “Can you come here for a sec?”
Childishly, the other three men offer him a collective “oooo,” to which your boyfriend scowls at. He quickly gets onto his feet and makes his way into the kitchen with you, panic on his features.
“Is everything okay?” He asks.
You nod, “yes. Can you reach that bowl up there?”
Immediately, Kiyoomi reaches up and grabs the bowl on the high shelf, bringing it down before cradling it to his chest, “I put this bowl here; is that why you’re mad?”
“I’m not mad,” you say simply.
“You called me Sakusa,” he pouts in fear. “You don’t call me sakusa. They do.”
“But that’s your name?”
“Not to you,” he says. “No, no- you call me the utmost feral things you can call someone, yet now you want to be formal, I don’t like that. What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything, just give me the bowl,” you say, finding slight amusement at this charade. He winces and slowly passes you the bowl, but when you open your mouth to thank him, he immediately wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a kiss, the bowl pressing between you. You merely giggle as he pulls back to sponge kisses on your face.
“I’m sorry,” he says between kisses. “Tell me what I did wrong.” He follows with another kiss. “I never want to make you mad.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you I love you I love you-“
“Okay!” You giggle. “I know you do!”
“Say it back,” he grumbles.
You roll your eyes and cup his cheeks, making him look at you while you press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I love you. I promise I’m not mad.”
“You’re not? You’re sure?”
“I was messing with you, my love,” you snort. Then, you nod towards the door, “you guys can’t be the only ones having fun tonight. I have to keep you on your toes.” You gently poke his stomach, grinning as he yelps and moves away. When your eyes flick to the doorway, there’s three curious heads watching the scene unfold. Two of them watch happily- the blonde one looks more than mischievous as he absorbs this new level of blackmail.
You smile and kiss his cheek, “go, watch your game with the boys. I’ll be in the bedroom.”
“Okay,” he sighs, voice much lighter than moments before. You watch as all three heads dash from the doorway to go back to the couch, swift to avoid Kiyoomi’s wrath. “I love you.” He takes a step back, “love you. I love you!” He makes his way to the threshold, “I love you!”
“I love you too,” you chuckle back.
“I love you twice as much!”
“GOD, YOU HAVE GUESTS OVER!” Atsumu gags.
“You’re just bitter because you can’t get a text back,” Kiyoomi hisses, and you can’t help but laugh at the switch from baby voice to stern, firm voice. He flashes you a wink before making his way back to the couch, and when you peek out at the furniture again, he’s in a headlock by Bokuto, his hair being ruffled in a way you know he’s going to complain about later.
Half heartedly, of course.
#from da poll 🫶🏻#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa kiyoomi fluff#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#sakusa kiyoomi x reader fluff#sakusa kiyoomi x gn!reader#sakusa kiyoomi imagine#sakusa kiyoomi haikyuu#sakusa#sakusa fluff#sakusa x reader#sakusa x reader fluff#sakusa x gn!reader#sakusa imagine#sakusa haikyuu#haikyuu#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader fluff#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x yn#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x y/n
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the fine and subtle art of arguing with old men
it was a good week for testing which meant it was a slow week for me. most of my job is fixing the machine when it goes down. if it doesn't go down, i don't have much to do.
fortunately neither did marc. in a site full of ornery old bastards, he's the oldest and the orneriest, so it goes without saying that i enjoy spending time with him. he reminds me of my grandpa. hell, he reminds me of a lot of people. i've befriended enough grumpy old men that i've got a sort of momentum to it now - you know how it is, when you meet someone that reminds you of someone else you really like. you get to start that friendship off half built, because you already have an idea of how to like that guy, and some of that old warmth can be brought to the new friendship. a little ember to start the stove up with.
(i think that's one of the really undersold beauties of getting older. you stop viewing people as strangers and more like remixes of friends.)
anyway, i was sitting next to marc and we were talking about the future. i've got my eye on having kids sometime soon (year or two? hopefully?), and he's very happy for me. i've tried asking him for advice, but all he says is that he didn't do a great job with his own kids and they still turned out okay, so i should stress less and trust myself more. i hope he's right. he believes it, at least, and it's a hell of a thing to have the faith of an old man. his faith is hard won.
as for his plans, he's retiring at some point in the next six months, and is hoping to sell his home and buy something in florida. he's republican, so he views the state as paradise, and i'm not inclined to even try talking him out of it. it's his dream, you know? i know for a fact my paradise would be a lot of people's hell. life's funny like that.
still, we kept going on, and it was a good time, and then he reminisced about the last time he got close to quitting - back around 2020. our job required getting vaxxed, and he refused, and there was a big kerfuffle about it before the job actually backed down. i know there's not a lot of sympathy for the unvaxxed out here, but the man's 62. you get the shot when you're under 30 to protect the people around you, but when you're over 60, you're just getting it to protect yourself and it's hard to be mad at someone for kicking their own ass.
still gave me pause though. i knew he wasn't going to take it well, but half the job of collecting curmudgeons is keeping them around, so i said
hey. i'm sorry they bent your arm over it, but.
but.
you should really get that shot.
and he looked over at me, and i looked at him, and he actually spat. not on me, just the concrete, but it was enough to show that he was mad. then he walked away, as abrupt as anything.
i felt bad about it. i wasn't sure what i'd expected, when he was willing to lose his job over it before, but i'd been so invested in his dream of retirement - the idea of him sipping margaritias on a beach next to his wife, the wife he calls every day during lunch, the wife he says is the one thing in life he ever got right on the first try. the wife that almost divorced him back when he was in the airforce because he just wasn't home enough.
(but he can be home now.)
and then he mentioned the vax thing, and it was like seeing a pin hit a balloon. he works out every day and takes all sorts of crazy vitamins and is generally committed to getting the most out of his pension and his life. i didn't want this dumb weak point to be his achilles heel.
---
i wasn't actually sure how long marc would be mad at me. i've seen him stay mad at some people for weeks. i wasn't sure if being friends would make that time go up or down.
it went down. i'm glad it went down.
he stopped being mad about two days later. we were doing front end maintenance one morning, and it was just that simple mechanical rhythm - hex key, replace the anode sheets, punch some off-gassing holes, oil it up, put it back in - that put things at ease. it always does. people working there are too busy to remember grudges, and it has this sort of mandatory practical communication that helps smooth things over. it was going great, and then out of the blue he said babs, you gotta be careful giving advice. those shots come with complications. what would you do if i got that shot, had a stroke, and died?
and i don't know what answer he was expecting, but i just told him the truth, which is that i would be devastated. i'd feel like i killed him. i thought that was a pretty normal response, but he looked taken aback. he asked why i said it then, and i said i'd have felt the same if he died of covid. that's just life. sometimes, there's no way forward that doesn't risk some kind of regret.
we finished the tube after that, in a silence that felt heavier than peace but lighter than anger. it felt like the ball was back in marc's court. like it would be rude to take that turn from him.
we parted ways with a nod and didn't speak until the next day.
---
i was doing spreadsheet work when he found me again. standard paper engineering - thinking of things we might need and ordering them in batches, months ahead of time. it always feels a little like plugging holes in a dam with my fingers.
but he popped up, and we didn't even exchange pleasantries. he just said i'm gonna die one day, and you can't blame yourself for that.
which is a hell of a thing to just tell someone right off the bat.
so i said what
and he said babs, i am in my 60s. something is gonna get me eventually, and whether it's covid or heart disease, or a stroke, there will be something you could have said or done before. and that's okay. it's not your job to make me live forever.
and you know, he actually made a lot of sense. so i said
okay.
i'll keep your business yours. i just
you were talking about your retirement before this. and i want that for you very much. you've worked hard for 45 years, and you deserve a break. we're getting to sick season, and it would be the saddest fucking thing in the world if you got this close to winning the race then tripped in the last ten feet.
and we sat there a few moments longer. i wasn't sure what to say, and i wasn't sure what he'd say, but eventually he just shrugged and said
yeah
then he left. i figured that would be the end of it.
---
i did front end maintenance yesterday, after being gone a week. it's one of my favorite things to do. i like working with my hands. i really like working with my hands. i'm glad i went to college, but in a different life, i think i could've made a better electrician than an electrical engineer.
and at one step, when we were both hoisting the plate back onto the machine, his sleeve rode up, and i saw two bandaids on his arm.
we finished the install, and i was ready to go back when marc actually stopped me.
i got the shot, he said, almost embarrassed. like he'd been caught. and i knew he was gonna say something dumb about it, so i just cut him off by giving him a hug.
i was relieved. hugging old men is kind of like picking up cats. if they like you a lot, they'll tolerate it, but that's about it. we sat there maybe three beats before his hands went up, and then he gave me one overly-hard thump on the back. in my experience, this is how old men tell you that they're done, so i let him go.
carla talked me into it, he said, almost defensive. his wife. his one good decision.
tell her i said thanks, i said back.
trump got the shot too, he said, less defensive, but oddly pleading. like he was consoling himself.
like he was nervous.
then it's gotta be safe, i said, and he looked up at me, strangely searching, strangely vulnerable. i don't know exactly what he was looking for, but i guess he found it because after a few moments his shoulders relaxed.
yeah, he said, one hand on the back of his head.
it's gotta be.
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…SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER AU
⋆𐙚₊˚🍺⊹♡
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who spend a lottt of time in the back seat of his cop car. they have an age gap that would raise all kinds of alarm if the people of the small town they resided in ever found out. sheriff!rafe is beefy, his muscles bulging through every shirt he wears. farmer’s!daughter!reader is too busy raising hell all around town in hopes that someone calls the police station so rafe can handcuff her and get her act cleaned up. “you can’t just go actin’ a fool whenever you feel like screwin’ i mean it!” he’s pulling her underwear up her thighs as she lays face down against his leather seats, completely fucked out. “whatever you say, dad.” rafe is groaning at her words as he uncuffs her. “yeah? i oughta’ take you home right now then and let him know about all the trouble you been gettin’ into.”
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who go on their dates in the next town over so they don’t run the risk of being caught by any locals. farmer’s!daughter!reader who teases rafe all the time, calling him an ‘old man’ and saying he’s a perv for entertaining her antics. “there’s a motel not too far from here.. just ‘sayin.” there’s a hint of a smile playing on her lips, the older man in front of her looking unamused. “you’re suggesting that i take you to a motel and you’re callin’ me a perv? get outta here.” despite his faux disinterest, they end up checking into the said motel for the night, his stomach slapping against her clit as he fucks her into oblivion on the dingy mattress of the cheap room. sheriff!rafe who actually knows farmer’s!daughter!reader’s father very well, both of them going all the way back to their high school days.
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who can’t stand each other sometimes. rafe is scolding her, telling her that she shouldn’t be wearing those ‘godforsaken’ shorts of hers since it draws a lot of the wrong attention. “you’re just mad because jj maybank is wondering what color panties i have on..” she’s leaning into the window of his cop car, his jaw clenching as he eyed the scruffy looking blonde who stood not too far away, shot gunning hot beers with his friends. “mad at the ‘maybank kid? please, darlin’ he’s a joke.” she’s laughing at his words, getting close to his ear before whispering; “i’m glad you think so, because i’m about to go over there and tell him i’m not wearing any..” that sets rafe off and it isn’t long before he’s slamming jj down against the hood of his car and arresting him for underaged drinking..
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who are such polar opposites, even they don’t understand how they work together. sheriff!rafe has a rough exterior, seemingly cold, closed off and never smiles, whereas farmer’s!daughter!reader is dancing on tables in bars she shouldn’t even be at, and being a little minx to see how many free drinks she can get out of the regulars. so much so, that rafe started patrolling around town at night so he could stop her from doing something stupid. and of course, without fail, he’s getting a radio call saying there’s been a report of a quote, unquote ‘young woman resisting arrest and assaulting an officer.’ and rafe is arriving onto the scene almost immediately, cursing under his breath when he see’s her being held down by at least four of his men in uniform.
SHERIFF!RAFE X FARMER’S!DAUGHTER!READER who eventually have to get serious with one another, both of them knowing that what they have is anything but casual. sheriff!rafe who doesn’t know how to go about it, so he decides it’s best to just be blunt. “so uhm— what do ‘ya say to moving out of your pop’s and living with me instead?” farmer’s!daughter!reader is staring at him from across the table at their favorite diner. “what?” she’s frozen, holding her knife over her plate of fluffy pancakes. “are you serious?” rafe is nodding as he takes a cigarette out of his pocket, placing it between his lips. “yeah, but this rowdy act of yours needs to stop. m’not gonna have you actin’ reckless if i’m the one taking care of you.” he doesn’t have to tell her twice before she’s nodding, throwing her arms around the grumpy sheriff before pressing kisses to his cheek.
#❤︎₊ ⊹ works#₊˚⊹♡ rafe#₊˚⊹♡ sheriff!rafe#₊˚⊹♡ farmer’s!daughter!reader#outer banks#outer banks smut#outer banks imagine#outer banks fanfiction#outerbanks rafe#obx#rafe obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#obx imagine#obx x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron headcanons#outer banks rafe#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine
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