#it’s always annoying when bullies can’t even come up with something interesting to harass me with

[nereidprinc3ss]

i may be the only person who adores spencer but doesn’t really care about mgg 💀💀💀 he’s heavy on that theater kid vibe that annoys me to no end

this is so funny and valid

incoming long and only sort of related rant about how stupid celebrity culture and stanning is🗣️🗣️ and how we all need to stop being so emotionally invested in celebrities (yes even my boyfriend mgg)🗣️🗣️!!

i think mgg is really funny and he seems nice and endearing but i also have a deep distrust for all men! ESPECIALLY famous men cause fame fucks with your psyche, so while i really do adore the version of himself that he presents to the general public, i also try as a general rule to never be too emotionally invested in celebrities. because at the end of the day they are human beings and we see barely a fraction of who they really are. i think a lot of what we as fans see from him is his genuine personality but it is only part of it. we should never assume we really and truly know a celebrity based on how they present themselves to the public. if we did that then by those standards we’d believe almost every celebrity is absolutely perfect and that is just false. by virtue of being a human, which celebrities are and always have been first and foremost, you are going to be messy and probably do some fucked up stuff in your life. i know i’ve done some fucked up stuff in my life and it would be ridiculous to believe that mgg has never done anything fucked up in his life, as it would be ridiculous to assume that about any person ever.

so by adoring and becoming overly emotionally dependent on who you think a celebrity is as a person, you are setting yourself up for inevitable disappointment. if you idolize someone and can’t accept that they are human and have done fucked up shit just like you or me or your best friend or your parents or whoever, you will be crushed when you find out they’re not perfect. which is why i think cancel culture is so fucking dumb. imagine if everyone in your life found out about that mean thing you said to your friend once when you were really mad 10 years ago and all collectively decided to abandon you and shame you and harass you and label you as worthless forever. that is so so crazy. imagine any time you made a mistake or poor choice and how disproportionate it would be to be fired and shunned socially and bullied relentlessly by everyone for that mistake or choice. that’s the standard we hold celebrities to.

so i really would not be surprised to learn that mgg was like a really bad friend one time or made a bad choice or something. but would that alter my worldview and crush my soul? no! i have also been a bad friend and made bad choices! and sometimes continue to make bad choices! circling back to life is messy and humans are messy and things aren’t black and white!

i think it’s important to understand that he is literally just some guy who happens to be famous and he has flaws just like the rest of us. i’m not invested in his being a perfect person, i have no allusions that he’s always and exclusively exactly the way he acts with his fans, and am able to critique him when i think he does something weird or annoying LOL. that said i really like him! i think he’s funny and interesting and seems really kind! but me liking him does not hinge on him being flawless and angelic.

so basically if you’re going to be crushed when it comes out that your fav did something bad, then unstan because i can promise you with 1000% certainty that literally every single celebrity you like has done something fucked up and weird and bad just like every single person on the face of the planet has or will!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Honestly me neither but apparently Aryu stans exists?? I mean they must if they keep making merch for them SHSHGSSH

YAY omg congrats!!! Touching grass pays off LMAO another Mira W!!

Oh WHAT ok then well, I guess ever platform has its issues LOL now I see why Ao3 authors always feel the need to explain their absence (the insane ones are so funny but also genuinely crazy like wdym you almost died but are updating in the hospital bed??? Go rest??) Glad you don’t get people harassing you like that anymore because if it were me I’d probably end up ditching the piece altogether unless I was writing it for myself HAHA

“Do you want me to kill myself me honest” IS INSANEEEEE HONESTLY THAT COMEBACK SLAPS HAHAHA I think it’s tame considering how they were being so pushy but didn’t even bother to absorb the fact that you literally already answered the question a day before….

SWIMMING SCENE we won guys but so true little kid drama’s usually restricted by the complexities of their social interactions which are far and few in between LMAO can’t wait for that angsty teen/tween phase

So real for that…I fear I remain closeted until I become really good friends with someone or honestly it won’t come up at all if the other person doesn’t consume any of the same type of media because we usually talk about others things HAHA

Yeah it’s just Itoshi flashback essentially LMAO I’m ngl idk how to feel it definitely doesn’t really make me feel anything more for Rin (what was bro doing??? The way he fell down looked so goofy I’m not even sure what to say and tbh I don’t really get how him like jumping off places really aligns with the ideation of “defeating someone stronger even if it kills you” but he’s probably like 5 so I guess it makes sense that his thought process doesn’t make sense??? Whatever ig LMAO) seeing sae take the heat for rin was kinda cute but yeah erm his dad was kinda ominous there!!! Also the beard, that’s just sae with a beard a black dyed hair. But YEAH honestly I think I felt more for Rin without knowing this background like uhhh what?? I also have little interest in analyzing this myself so I’ll just let it sit there HAHA

LEARNING BY NOT FOLLOWING EXAMPLE REAL you’ll see in the next chapters that ideation is even more prevalent…but ok ummm why is this LN so deep?? I think they just stepped up the level of emotion and whatnot in this volume because??? I’m about to go skim Aryu’s to see what’s in there let’s see if he gets bullied too /j

-Karasu anon

HAHA ig that’s true!! aryu fandom wherever you are i hope you’re staying strong 😫 that’s like the ultimate random side character to be in love with because he truly is up to nothing 😭 but ykw i support

okay wait crazy story i actually have updated a fic while in the hospital before 😳 i had an allergic reaction to something and was in anaphylactic shock so they gave me steroids and had to monitor my vitals for a few hours so i was like “ok might as well write ig” but then my laptop died and i was so mad 😔 i texted my best friend abt it and she was like “girl you are in the hospital focus on THAT” FJFKSKS the grind truly never stops!!

LMAOO lowkey i did abandon the story it’s been like three months since i updated and tbh i always forget i’m the one who wrote it 😓 looking back i think i was just annoyed because it felt like people just saw me as a content machine who could spit out chapters at will?? like it’s one thing when people ask me when peregrine will be updated because it’s been a month or so (don’t get me wrong it still is a little annoying because i have no idea but not AS bad) but when more than two days would pass and they’d be asking me when the next chapter would come out it was just like…do you not want me to have a life or smth?? it’s not like i can abandon everything else i do solely to write new chapters and update 😭

SWIMMING SCENE INDEED i’m trying to make this not be too similar to fwtkac but there’s def a bit of overlap in things like pool scenes and whatnot (even though the outcomes of the scenes are different in each fic)…but yeah there’s def a little bit of drama just because even as a very young child karasu was down bad but like at the age of 7 it’s not as if he knows what that means yk 🤔 it’s also funny because rn i’m picturing baby karasu from epinagi so it’s more like “aww cute kid” (which is also the reader’s mindset so that’s good) but i need to get to when he enters his growth spurt era so i can be like 😏 HAHAHAHA

agreed it’s not something i bring up until i’ve judged a person’s vibe well enough to know they won’t be weird abt it or if they bring it up first…even then like i don’t talk a ton abt it w my friends unless they’re also into it (sadly i have no bllk irls so it’s been difficult but at least i have my tumblr crew to geek out with)

HELP RIN LOOKED SO SILLY i have no idea what he was up to…truly he was a weird little kid but that honestly checks out w what we know of him because even now when you get past his fantasy otome isekai male lead appearance he’s lowkey a bit of a freak 😭 and i think painting sae as someone who takes the heat for rin makes me feel bad for him a bit because who is taking the heat for HIM yk?? and omg they did not try w the itoshi parents’ designs at all they don’t even have eyes 😓 maybe it was an artistic choice idk LMAO i guess we’ll see how the match progresses from here!! hoping for more karasu and yukimiya 🥹 maybe kunigami too he’s kind of been irrelevant besides guarding shidou so hopefully after the rin goal that’s sure to come there’ll be some focus on the shidou system (shidou karasu zantetsu) that seemed to be setting smth up before rin went crazy and then that could lead to some development/scenes for kunigami as well 🤔 i’m excited too that the nel arc is almost over hehe it’ll be fun to see everyone back together and hopefully on the same team again!! as well as seeing what comes next in the manga (i’m assuming u20 world cup but i’m sure there’ll be some stuff in between before the actual world cup starts)…praying for another slice of life type of scene like when they were all in shibuya after bllk vs u20s!!

BAROU BEST FATHER OF THE YEAR no wonder he was so good at parenting nagi bro has experience 😭 and i agree barou/yuki’s novels were def on the deeper and more emotional side while still being relatable which made them really fun to read 😩 aryu’s made me giggle a bit tbh because it was so unserious and yet serious at the same time as is to be expected from him…i can’t believe you predicted him being bullied though 😢

[smol-and-grumpy]

Legally Yours - Ch. 01 (Prologue)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester tops the list of hottest entrepreneurs 2020 and yet, there’s still something he wants but can’t have because, in order to get that, he would have to settle down and get married. She agrees too quickly because she wants to secure a more comfortable life for her and her daughter. Will she be able to help Dean get what he wants without losing herself in the fake story they spin up to deceive his father and the world?

Chapter Warnings: None. Maybe the end will get your heart racing.

WC: 1796

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons​ <3

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Buy me a coffee

Y/N’s sitting at her desk as she types an answer to the inquiry from a customer, when her friend Donna practically slams a glamour magazine over her keyboard. 

“Have you seen this?” The blond woman asks. 

“Jesus, Donna! I haven’t saved that document yet! God!” She picks the magazine up and tosses it to the side as she continues to finish the document on her screen. 

Donna’s still waiting, staring at her and she wonders if that woman has nothing else to do. Y/N’s sure Donna has plenty to do, they always have a lot of work and that’s why she gets home so late and sometimes, Liv would already be asleep. Sometimes, when she’s lucky, Liv was awake and she’d read her a bedtime story of princesses who are rescued by a heroic prince.

As soon as Y/N is finished, she turns around in her chair, to see her friend still staring at her instead of doing her own work. 

“What is it?” She asked with that added annoyed nuance to her tone of voice.

“Look!” Donna lifts her chin to point towards the magazine she slammed in front of Y/N just a moment before, “Have you seen it?”

Turning back around to her desk, she picks it up, “Donna, I’m not reading those mags, so no, I haven’t seen it. Why?”

Instead of answering her, Donna only grins. The grin that shows her dimples. The wicked one, “Page twenty-six,” 

With raised eyebrows and that little spark of curiosity which Donna had added to her interest, Y/N rifles through the pages until she reaches page twenty-six. 

There’s a picture of a man who stares right at her. He’s wearing a perfect suit. His one hand fakes the adjusting of his cufflink on his wrist. It’s a total male model pose. Well, he looks like one, so she can’t really say that anything’s out of the ordinary. 

At a second glance, though, she realizes that he looks familiar. His face is a little scruffy, but that makes him look edgier, makes him look more handsome. He’s smiling bright, showing his perfect white teeth. There are crinkles around his emerald eyes, seven on his right side, and she knows she shouldn’t even be counting them, so she ignores his left side. And she definitely can’t help but notice the freckles across his face. 

Oh, she thinks.

Oooohhhh.

“Is that..?” She asks with a frown that gets deeper between her eyebrows because she’s just not sure? She hasn’t seen the man that many times in real life. 

“Ya! Our fucking boss! The icy King!” Donna shouts, “Isn’t he dreamy? My god, I wanna eat him up! And he doesn’t look as icy and distant like he always does,”

“Donna!”

“What? Only telling the truth here! Read what the headline says!”

Her friend is right, though, Mr. Winchester’s normal aloof and cold persona isn’t captured in the picture. He’s known to be the icy King in the company. Instead, he looks kind of welcoming and warm. Y/N eyes go to the top of the page, and she can’t lie, it’s hard to concentrate on the writing when there’s a good looking man staring her down.

The headline is in all caps.

 DEAN WINCHESTER, HOTTEST ENTREPRENEUR 2020

 She frowns, as her eyes leave the magazine to look back at her friend, “That’s what you wanted to show me?” 

“Duh! There’s also a whole article about him being the center of attention everywhere he goes,”

“Well, that’s not really surprising, is it? Looking like that?”

“It also says that he has a fiancée.”

“That’s also not surprising,” Y/N shrugs, “I mean, seriously, look at him. Who wouldn’t want to marry that?” She didn't. At least not when they say that he’s cold-hearted. But again, she’s not the norm here because every female is gushing about him. 

She closes the magazine loudly, deciding that she shouldn’t waste more time. She wants to get home on time today. Liv went on a field trip with her school and she wants to hear her little girl telling her about how exciting it was. Y/N still has a lot of work to do and also a meeting with her supervisor later. The sleazebag.

“So, can I go back to work?” She turns to Donna, “I have a meeting with Raphael in about twenty minutes.”

“Ew,” Donna cringes her nose.

Y/N rolls her eyes, “Exactly,”

“Will you tell him off?”

“I already did,” She sighs, “Multiple times,”

“Why don’t you just go to HR?”

Donna knows what happens. What always happens when she has a meeting with Raphael. He’s always trying things with her. Accidentally brushes his hand against her breast or her ass. He once told her to sit in his lap as he was showing her the numbers of her performance. It wasn’t the first time he suggested it, and she doubts that it will be the last time either. He tried to kiss her more than once, but knowing that they are in an office environment, he didn’t dare to force her too much. He also offers to drive her home almost every week, and she’s slowly getting tired of it, not to mention creeped out.

At their last meeting, he made her hang up a picture frame in his office. His hand rested on her hips to supposedly support her, but they traveled further down until he kneaded her ass in his palms. She immediately got down from there, and left the room wordlessly. 

She knows another secret about Raphael, though. One she could use against him, but she just doesn’t know how just yet. Y/N knows and has got proof that he’s been skimming money. He takes it out of the customer’s account. Not a lot, a small sum that customers wouldn’t notice is missing, but in the end, it’s probably a whole lot when he does it to all the customers he’s supposed to look after. 

Again, she can’t really bring that up because she’s sure that he’ll spin it around and Raphael is good at that. With a push on the button of his keyboard, he could reverse everything and she knows that. 

“I can’t go to HR,” Y/N lowers her head and mumbles to her friend, “Because they won’t believe me,”

And that’s the truth too. The Head of HR is Duma, a woman who occasionally fucks Raphael. They have a friend with benefits thing going on, even if she’s married with children. Duma will never believe her because Y/N’s sure that Raphael can spin this perfectly to fit his narrative. 

Besides, what can she possibly tell? It’s her against him. It’s like a mouse against an elephant. She’s only an accountant and is replaceable, whereas Raphael is a member of the leadership team. And who will be let go? She doesn’t think it’s going to be him and she needs the job to survive. 

Y/N watches as Donna’s lips start to curl up, the white teeth of the woman are visible, as she drums her fingers annoyingly on her own desk.

With a frown, she asks her friend, “What?”

“I have an idea,” Donna says and pulls up her outlook calendar. 

She types in something, and then a calendar appears with a lot of colorful blocks. 

Oh no. She has quite the idea of who’s calendar it is even if she can’t read the name from where she’s sitting, which is too far away because she doesn’t want to give the impression that she’s not working. And it’s stupid that they can do that. They have quite an open calendar policy at the office. Everyone can send and block meetings for everyone, even for the icy King. 

“Donna, no!”

“Why, Donna, yes!” Her friend grins, “He has an open window right now. The meeting in the boardroom is in ten minutes. You should go tell him what you know. If someone can change anything, it’s him, right?”

Donna’s not wrong, she isn’t. But Mr. Winchester is what? At least four tiers above her if not five. Why should he care what a simple worker in his company is thinking? Why should he care what the hell she goes through every day while he earns enough profit to fuel his expensive and glamorous lifestyle?

“He wouldn’t believe me,” She shakes her head.

“You can tell him about the money skimming, I bet he won’t be happy to hear that.”

“Ugh,”

Donna stands up and walks over to her, braces her hands on the chair Y/N’s sitting on, “What’s the worst that could happen, huh?”

“That I get fired?”

“Meh,” Donna squeaked, ��I doubt that. You’re doing a great job. Your records are great. And besides, if they do that, you can go and file a lawsuit against them. Besides, who knows, if you go to HR, Raphael will fire you before the icy King does.”

True, but still. 

“Now go get your ass up to the executive floor. Maybe take him a coffee, I heard he likes it black,”

“Oh, just like his heart?”

“Ya, maybe I wouldn’t tell him that?” Donna chuckles.

 *

 Y/N’s on her way to the elevators. She can’t believe that she’s really doing it. But Donna’s right. She can’t go on and live like that. It’s already hard to part from her child every morning and to get bullied at her job and being sexually harassed should not be the norm. She just fucking wants to earn enough money to keep her kid and herself above water.

God, she’s really doing it! 

Fuck.

There are six elevators lined up in the foyer. Three on each side. Only one goes up to the executive floor and also one is reserved for Mr. Winchester’s penthouse on the top floor. Everybody knows that. 

To get the elevator to run up to the executive floor, Y/N would need to have a card with a chip, which she doesn’t, and she feels stupid to have just realized it. And now she’s standing here, lost, with a hot black coffee in a lidless plastic cup that almost burns her fingers off.

Ugh. 

She’s so fucking stupid.

Well, she could still try, couldn’t she? She jumped over her own fear and has come this far. She definitely shouldn’t give up now. 

Her finger hovers over the buttons. Closing her eyes and exhaling loudly, she gives the button a push. Standing back, she waits, her heart is drumming loudly against her ribcage.

And she doesn’t even have to wait long because not even thirty seconds later, the elevator dings and opens up to reveal a man in a nice suit staring back at her.

It’s him.

Ch. 02

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Sirius Black Masterlist by Heloise Daphne Brightmore

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists 

All the fics are in alphabetical order, for the newest fics, please head to Recently Posted.

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. <3

Sirius Black imagines/blurbs

[A] Alive [0.3k words]

Sirius gets injured and regardless of his reassuring touch, you find it hard to process that he’s alright.

[U] Unbroken promise [0.9k words]

Sirius promises a breath-taking date, only to leave you waiting. When Remus arrives, your heart realises before your brain does that something might not be right.

Sirius Black one shots

[A] A haunted night [1.7k words]

Sirius has been battling with his nightmares, but he decides to fight them alone, fearing to share his weaknesses with you. That is until you can't stand his pained whimpers echoing across the corridor anymore.

Absurd ideas [4.7k words]

Sirius’ jealousy causes a misunderstanding which inevitably ends up with him getting worked up and everyone else being confused. Most of all you, when you realise he thinks he knows what you feel, but he couldn’t be farther from the truth.

All your fault [1.9k words]

Sirius’ boredom causes you to end up in detention. Or so you think, but he has a different perspective on the events and you clearly can’t find the golden middle.

Alone? Together! [1.5k words]

The war has taken a toll on everyone and Sirius finds himself useless whilst hiding at Grimmauld Place. His own thoughts are eating him up, wanting to be reckless, but not daring to lose those he loves. When you arrive to sooth his worries, your strength reassures him that he is not alone, that whatever happens, you can face it together.

An unrefusable offer [3.2k words]

Sirius has been trying to get you to go out with him for the longest of time, but you can’t accept his interest in you. Will his cunning little plan change your mind at Lily and James’ wedding or will it end in a disaster?

[B] Be my (fake) girlfriend [4.8k words]

Sirius is fed up of girls throwing themselves at him, so he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, but you seem to enjoy the fake relationship more than you were supposed to.

Best Christmas Present [3.1k words]

Sirius goes back to you after he has escaped Azkaban. But when he finds you with a son, he wants nothing but to escape the heartbreak, not even listening to your explanation.

Beyond Friendship [8.3k words]

To get back at your good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend, you ask Sirius to help you out and pretend to be your new boyfriend, which seems to agitate your ex just as you expected. However, you couldn't have anticipated how Sirius’ infuriating presence could actually turn out to be not only fun, but almost essential.

Bitter Past [3.8k words]

Sirius has been relentlessly asking you out on dates, when you finally agreed, but in your mind it’s all about revenge.

Bundle of joy [1.4k words]

Part of the series What they call home, but can be read separately. When you realise there’s a little baby growing in your belly, it terrifies you. Both you and Sirius had a rough childhood and now that there’s a new life inside you, your ability to raise a child concerns you, especially as you’re in the middle of a war.

Busted [4k words] [18+]

You and Sirius have always been close, but in the last year you have been even more involved with each other. However you didn’t want others to know about it, so you kept it a secret. Up until you both made a mistake.

[C] Christmas lie [1.8k words]

Your relationship with your parents has never been a good one, therefore they plan to spend Christmas without you. But you don’t want Sirius to spend it with you either, knowing he would have a better time with his friends. So you decide to lie.

Cookies [1.6k words]

You always loved to bake, so spending time in Hogwarts’ kitchen has become a daily activity of yours. This time however Sirius joins you and he has other ideas beside tasting your delicious cookies.

Crimes of jealousy [3.8k words]

Sirius becomes jealous when he hears that you agreed to go on a date with a fellow Gryffindor and he decides to do something about it.

Cuddles [1.1k words]

Sirius and you are cuddled up in a bed, enjoying a warm, sunny morning with a couple of sweet confessions.

[D] Damned words [2k words]

Friends. And a bit more of the benefits. That's what you and Sirius were to each other. Until he uttered those damned words maybe in the heat of the moment, maybe as a result of the amount of alcohol he consumed. Either way, you should have escaped.

Degrading feelings [1.8k words]

James thinks his friendship is more important than your relationship with Sirius so you and Lily decide to take revenge

Distant friend [3.8k words]

When rumours start about you and your housemate, Sirius decides to keep a distance from you, which you do not take well.

Do you mind? [1.9k words]

You think you know better what Sirius would say and when you actually do, Sirius ends up speechless. However, what you don’t know is what Sirius would do.

Don’t play games with me! [2.5k words]

Having a crush on Sirius was as normal as the sun coming up every day, but as a friend of his, you tried to keep it a secret. But then James decides to get involved and corners you in an uncomfortable conversation.

[F] Fear of prejudice [2.2k words]

You didn’t find being a barista a particularly attractive career, but when Sirius takes on the role, it stirs up some unexpected feelings inside you. However the reason behind your newfound interest isn’t in his occupation, but something that you dare not to voice, ashamed of your sinful thoughts.

Feelings [1.2k words]

You have been having all sorts of feelings, causing your head to become a mess. Sirius, being a sweet boyfriend stays by your side.

Fluffy supporter [2k words]

You have been in need of a support animal since first year, but unfortunately your puppy couldn’t accompany you at the start of year. Padfoot comes along to help you out, without you knowing that the dog is actually your boyfriend.

[G] Gentle Seduction [3.5k words]

You are more than aware of Sirius’ feelings towards you, but he doesn’t seem to want to take the first step. You decide to force him to realise he has no other options.

Go on a date with me! [3.6k words]

You have had enough of craving for Sirius’ attention so you decide to take the first step. Things however might not turn out to be so great.

[I] I missed you [1k words]

Sirius is missing you, his girlfriend, and James finds the situation rather entertaining. It seems James and you are on the same wavelength when it comes to Sirius being a love-sick puppy.

Interest in you [3.2k words]

You have been interested in Sirius for years, but you didn’t want to date him. It has been bugging him to no end, leaving you annoyed.

[M] Make me [3k words]

Sirius is unable to shut up and you are at a tipping point. Even after being kindly asked to shut up for a mere second, Sirius doesn’t take your request seriously.

Memories of a Pensieve [3.4k words]

Your friends have been tired of you and Sirius dancing around each other so they show you what they see on a daily basis to convince you.

Misunderstood feelings [4.1k words]

Being Sirius Black’s girlfriend had its pros and cons, but unfortunately you could only see what was missing recently.

[N] Not so perfect [1.6k words]

Sirius is the perfect son. Captain of his quidditch team, Headboy of Slytherin, dashingly handsome with perfect grades and proud parents. Expect that he has fallen for a Muggleborn Gryffindor.

[R] Relying on [2.5k words]

You are not sure if you can rely on your friends anymore, the continuous bullying and harassment, the mean words playing in your head over and over again, almost pushing you too far from them. [Platonic]

[S] Second chance [2.4k words]

Sirius has been distant and rude, eventually breaking your friendship. He is angry, you are hurt, both of you pulling away even further. That is until James and Remus decide to meddle.

Space that he already had [5.3k words]

Your boyfriend, Sirius has been more distant than ever and he doesn’t even realise it even when you confront him.

[T] Teacher’s pet [5.3k words]

Sirius being your teacher meant he was someone you could never have. You are struggling with your feelings and how ethically wrong what you feel is, even though he is only 5 years older.

Truth behind the Polyjuice [2.3k words] 

The marauders decide to take your love life into their hands, but things turn out badly, leaving you full of anger towards them.

Truth or Dare [4.5k words]

You and your friends are bored so you start playing a little Truth or Dare, but it doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Or does it?

[U] Unexpected expectancy [3.4k words]

You and Sirius have never talked about having a family on your own. When you become pregnant, you panic and don’t know what to do.

Unforeseen mission [5.8k words]

You have always thought Sirius cheated on you back in Hogwarts, so you avoided him. But then Dumbledore decides to send you on a mission together and you accidentally agree.

Unprotected experience [3.1k words]

A couple of nights of fun left you sick and vulnerable. When you finally realise the cause of your sickness, you do not know what to do.

[Y] Your decision, yours only [1.7k words]

Sirius is having trouble with his family and you are trying to be there for him.

Sirius Black headcanons

[M] Movie genres [0.2k words]

What movie genres Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter like.

[P] Pets they brought to Hogwarts [0.4k words]

What kind of pets Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Regulus Black brought to Hogwarts in their first year. 

Sirius Black mini series 

[F] Facade pt. 1|2 [1.1k words] Facade pt. 2|2 [1.1k words]

You have been silently suffering pretending to be someone else, but noone can see the real you.

[H] Hot stuff pt. 1|2 [6k words] Hot stuff pt. 2|2 [4.2k words]

University is causing you a great deal of stress, you are couped up in your room, having your own cave. That is until your friends decide they have had enough and drag you away from your studies for a night out. But when your eyes meet a familiar face, one that you thought you would never see again, you find yourself once again captured by him, the reasonable part of your brain betraying you.

[L] Like a dream pt. 1|2 [3.4k words] Like a dream pt. 2|2 [2.9k words]

Sirius and you were supposed to be enemies, but your crush on him might not be as unrequited as you thought.

Lesson from a Prefect pt. 1|2 [4.6k words] Lesson from a Prefect pt. 2|2 [4.4k words]

Being a prefect meant you didn’t have a good relationship with the Marauders. However Sirius takes an interest in you after you give him a piece of your mind. You are tricked into going on a date with Sirius and you are dreading every moment of it, but he turns out to be more than a lost because.

Love in the Order pt. 1|2 [3.3k words] Love in the Order pt. 2|2 [3.3k words]

Finally finishing your mission you return to the Order’s headquarter as per Dumbledore’s request, where you run into Sirius Black, the man you have been craving to see. Feeling the happiness of being reunited doesn’t last long, you have to part ways with Sirius to attend to another dangerous mission, but things don’t turn out the way you have planned.

[T] Teach me how to kiss pt. 1|2 [3.7k words] Teach me how to kiss pt. 2|2 [3.7k words]

You have asked your crush out on a date, but you never dated before. You ask your best friend, Sirius to teach you on the physical part of dating, which he reluctantly agrees to. You realise that you have caught feelings for him, but knowing he would never return your feelings is beyond painful. 

[U] Useless warning pt. 1|2 [3.9k words] Useless warning pt. 2|2 [3.5k words] 

Sirius is one of your best friends who happens to be dating Marlene. She isn’t particularly a good friend of yours, but you do get along. She agrees to go out with Sirius, all the while she is aware of your feelings. Things get complicated as you are unable to keep your feelings to yourself anymore.

Sirius Black series

[W] What they call home [14.3k words]

You’re in need of protection and Albus is ready to give it to you after years of help you have been providing the Order with. However your presence is not welcomed, especially by Sirius Black himself as you already have history behind you. However Sirius agrees to the wizard’s wishes, which forces you to be trapped in the same household. [Completed]

© All rights reserved ® in regards to my characters, their behaviours and personality. I, however do not own the rights to the gifs and photos presented in the chapters, unless stated otherwise and any of the characters and story line matching the original script by J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ Yeosang Imagine: When he's secretly dating you and his friends bully you.

Genre: Angst, fluff, high school au.

Pairing: badboy!Yeosang x fem!reader

Words: 4k

Warnings: Bullying, profanities.

You didn't flinch when you felt a crumpled paper hit the back of your head—you were so used to it now. You could hear familiar laughter while another paper was thrown, and it landed right on top of your desk. You slowly straightened it out, unsurprised to find the same words you were called pretty much everyday—bitch, dweeb, nerd, prude. You put the paper in the pocket of your uniform's skirt, mentally reminding yourself to throw it away later.

"Hey, you nerd!" you heard Jung Wooyoung yell from across the classroom, but you ignored him. He was part of Ateez—a so-called group of eight bad boys who were absolutely nothing but trouble. They were always picking on someone, so most students here were scared of them. You became their victim about three months ago when you accidentally bumped into Song Mingi while you were rushing to class; he thought you were the perfect target, and all his friends joined in on bullying you. 

While you were lost in your thoughts, Jung Wooyoung slammed his fist on your wooden desk, making you flinch at the sudden loud sound. "How dare you fucking ignore me, you stupid bitch?!" Your classmates quietly watched the scene, not daring to open their mouths and stand up for you; they knew that they would be next on the target-list if they even uttered a word. You only had two friends at school and both of them didn't share any common classes with you, except mathematics.

You would've stood up for yourself and slapped Jung Wooyoung across his face, but unfortunately for you, he happened to be your boyfriend's childhood and closest friend. You knew how much your boyfriend, Kang Yeosang, loved and cherished Wooyoung and the other six boys, so you never fought back whenever any of them bullied you. They didn't even know that you were dating Yeosang for almost six months now.

Yeosang always laughed with them while you got bullied, but at the end of the day, he would check up on you, pulling you into his arms and kissing you gently while he mumbled an apology.

Wooyoung was going to yell at you again, but your teacher arrived, saving you. He glared at you before he quietly returned to his seat; you knew he would come after you again once class ended.

And you were right.

"Stop right there," Wooyoung said, harshly grabbing you by your arm, and pushing you against the student lockers; you winced in pain. Mingi was right behind him, smirking at the situation.

"What did she do now, Woo?" San asked, walking towards the three of you, Seonghwa and Yeosang trailing behind him. Yeosang gave you a questioning look, but you only shook your head slowly. Only Seonghwa noticed the small exchange between you and Yeosang, but he didn't say anything.

Wooyoung snorts. "This little prude here ignored me in class. Shouldn't we teach her a less—"

"Listen, I'm fucking starving right now," Yeosang said in an annoyed tone, interrupting Wooyoung. "Can we please go eat?"

"But—"

"Same," Seonghwa said. "Let's not waste our lunch break. We can deal with her later."

"Fine," Wooyoung scoffs. "This isn't over yet, bitch," he mumbled lowly to you before following the rest of the boys to the cafeteria.

You took a deep breath, resting your head against the locker. You really wished Yeosang would just tell them you were his girlfriend; it would make everything so much easier. You wondered why he still hasn't told them when you've both been dating for nearly half a year. You couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong with you. Was he embarrassed to be with you because you weren't the rebellious type like him and his friends? Or was it something else?

You sigh, scrunching your eyes closed while your head slightly pounded at your temples. The whole situation was seriously messing with your head. You see both your friends—Heejin and Jiwoo— making their way towards you, looking at you with worried eyes. They knew you were dating Yeosang and weren't really supportive of it.

"What's wrong?" Heejin asked.

"Headache," you replied.

She nods, taking your hand in hers. "You need to eat, Y/N." She dragged you to the cafeteria while Jiwoo happily told you both about a guy she was starting to like.

Once the three of you got to the cafeteria and bought your respective food, you sat at your usual table which was at the end of the cafeteria.

You could hear familiar laughter and you didn't even have to look at them to know who they were.

Ateez sat at their usual table which was right in the middle of the cafeteria, grabbing nearly everyone's attention. Of course, most people didn't look at them; they didn't want accidental eye-contact resulting in their life getting miserable every day.

A chorus of 'ohhs' were heard, and everyone glanced at Ateez curiously. However, the moment you looked up from your food, your stomach dropped.

Your heart ached at the sight of a girl—the most popular girl in your school— sitting on Yeosang's lap while he looked up at her with a smirk; the same smirk he always gave you whenever he teased you.

"Well, it's about time," you heard a guy seated at the table behind you say. "Kim Shinah has been trying to date him ever since the year started." You knew this, of course. Everyone at your school did. However, Yeosang told you he had absolutely no interest in her and found her quite annoying, so you were quite confused as to why he was letting her sit on his lap, let alone come close to him.

You glanced down at your food, not feeling like eating anymore. Your friends gave you a worried look.

Heejin sighed. "Y/N . . . "

You shook your head. "It's fine," you lied, smiling slightly. "I lost my appetite." You got up from your seat and disposed your food tray before you headed to your next class.

×××

You barely texted Yeosang for the next two weeks and you didn't meet him after school on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays like you usually did; you told him that you were busy studying for the upcoming exams in two weeks. You didn't eat at the cafeteria because Kim Shinah was always busy flirting with Yeosang there; it was too much for you to watch.

Yeosang noticed something was off today when he realised that you haven't replied to his texts in three whole days. He secretly tried to approach you in school, but unfortunately for him, he couldn't find the right opportunity as one of his friends was always there. He felt quite sad that you weren't even glancing at him.

After school ended, you sat on a bench right beside your school's outdoor basketball court, scrolling through your social media while waiting for Jiwoo and Heejin so you all could take a bus home together.

"Oh, look! It's the dweeb!" you heard Song Mingi say. You could see the rest of Ateez through your peripheral vision. You ignore them, keeping your eyes on your phone.

"Your skirt is pretty short for a prude," San said, pointing at your uniform skirt that had moved up your thighs a little.

"Virgins are really so desperate," Hongjoong remarked, and the others agreed. You wanted to laugh and tell them how one of their own friends took your virginity away not too long ago. On the other hand, Yeosang was pissed off with his friends' behavior, but he didn't show it. He acted like nothing was affecting him.

"But it would be so nice to fuck her," Mingi chuckled.

Jongho and Yunho nod. "Imagine how tight this little virgin—"

You had enough now.

You snorted, shocking them because of your 'bold' move. You locked your phone and put it in your pocket before you got up from the bench, looking straight at your boyfriend.

"Your friends are talking about fucking me," you said to Yeosang in a nonchalant tone. "Are you not going to say anything? Not even now?"

Wooyoung scoffed. "Why the fuck are you talking to him, bitch?"

Yeosang only stared back at you, unsure of what to say. He wanted to defend you so badly, but at the same time, he couldn't. At least not in front of his friends.

"I see," you chuckled at his silence. "Let's just . . . " you felt your heart ache. "Let's break up, Yeosang."

Yeosang's eyes widened, feeling his heart shatter into a million pieces. He never thought you would ever break up with him. Seonghwa didn't seem surprised, and the other six boys were shocked.

Yunho turned to Yeosang. "What the fuck is she saying, Yeo—"

Yeosang took a step towards you. "Babe . . . you seriously cannot be breaking up with me for this," Yeosang said, clearly hurt. One of the boys gasped, not expecting this to actually be true; who would've thought the bad boy would choose a goody-two-shoes.

"If you think this is the only reason, you're wrong," you deadpanned. "It's been six months since we started dating, Yeosang. Do you think I'm not tired of you ignoring me in front of everyone? You cancel our plans whenever you have to be with your friends. You laugh along with them whenever they're fucking harassing me, your girlfriend. Your friends have been bullying me for three months now and you wouldn't even say shit. Instead, you join in." You didn't care that the seven boys were listening to this. You didn't care that at this point, tears were streaming down your face. "You even let Kim Shinah sit on your lap and you've been fucking flirting with her right in front of me. You told me you had no interest in her. Who knows what the fuck you do behind my back!" Heejin and Jiwoo had just arrived, standing beside you. Yeosang had a pained expression on his face as he took in everything you just said.

"I really can't do this anymore," you stated, wiping away your tears with the back of your hand. "It's over, Yeosang." you give him a small smile before you walked away. Jiwoo followed you while Heejin gave Yeosang a disgusted look.

"You're an asshole, Kang Yeosang. I can't believe she actually loved you," Heejin said before she ran to catch up with you and Jiwoo.

Yeosang stared straight ahead of him, hands clenching into fists. He was so upset with himself. "I fucked up so bad. I love her so much. I really fucked up big time."

"Hyung . . . you're crying," Jongho murmured. Yeosang didn't even realize that. He lets out a broken chuckle while wiping his tears. He left without saying a word to anyone, wanting nothing more than to be alone.

"I knew this would happen," Seonghwa muttered while watching Yeosang walk away, but the boys heard him.

"You knew about this?" Wooyoung asked.

"No, but I kinda figured out recently that there was something going on between them," Seonghwa replied. "I don't know about you guys, but it was really obvious to me that Yeosang liked her. We should go apologize."

×××

You were at your school's library, studying for the exams scheduled for next week. Yeosang didn't go after you or contact you after you broke up with him. In fact, Yeosang hadn't even come to school after that, which was a week ago. His friends didn't bully you anymore and they all apologized for everything. You accepted their apology after they promised to never bully you or anyone else again.

You were just about to leave the library to go home, but someone stopped you. "Y/N, can we talk?" You nodded and followed him outside, waiting for him to speak.

"What is it, Seonghwa?" you asked anxiously when he wasn't saying anything. His silence was making you feel uneasy.

Seonghwa sighs sadly. "Yeosang . . . "

Your heart ached at the mention of his name. "What about him?" you whispered, looking away.

"It's hard to explain," Seonghwa said. "It's better if you see him instead."

"I-I can't, Seonghwa."

"Please, Y/N," he begged. "I know he fucked up, but you really need to see him right now."

You thought about it for a minute before you agreed. Seonghwa drove you to Yeosang's new apartment that he rented out two months ago after his parents kicked him out.

Seonghwa dropped you off at the entrance of the apartment complex before driving off.

You sighed as you made your way to Yeosang's apartment. You rang his doorbell, but no one answered. You rang it twice again, but there was still no response. You bit your lip, contemplating whether you should enter his passcode—the one he had before you broke up. "Fuck it," you muttered after waiting for another minute. You entered the passcode which happened to be your date of birth; you were surprised he didn't change it yet.

You went inside, wondering why his curtains weren't drawn at this time. The room was dim and there were empty Soju bottles scattered on the floor.

Your heart sank at the sight of Yeosang asleep on the floor, curled up into a fetal position. He was wearing the grey hoodie you had gotten him for his birthday.

You kneeled down beside him, running your hand through his messy brown hair. You noticed the dark circles under his eyes and he lost some weight. "What have you done to yourself . . . " you whispered. You went to his room and got a blanket. You placed it over his body and put a pillow under his head before you headed to his kitchen to make dinner with whatever ingredients you could find.

Yeosang woke up an hour later, confused because of the delicious smell of food. "Seonghwa hyung . . . ?" he called out, his voice deep as he just woke up. When he got no reply, he forced himself to stand up, making his way to the kitchen.

Yeosang rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Hyung, how did you get into my apartment? I don't think I've ever told you the pass— Y/N . . . ?"

"I made dinner," you said while putting some rice in a bowl. Yeosang stood there with a dumbfounded expression, wondering if he was still too sleepy. "Go freshen up," you said. He nodded slowly after realizing you were really here before going to the bathroom.

When he came back, he sat down with you at the dining table. "Y/N, I—"

"Eat first," you interrupted him. "We'll talk after this." He nodded obediently, immediately taking a bite of his food. He finished the entire thing in less than five minutes. "When was the last time you had a proper meal?" you asked.

"Last week," he answered. "Seonghwa hyung tried to make something for me, but I couldn't eat . . . so he forced me." He hesitantly reached out to cup your cheek, stroking your skin gently.

"What are you doing . . . ?" you murmured, involuntarily leaning into his touch that you missed so much.

"Just making sure you're really here and I'm not dreaming," he said before his eyes started watering. "Y/N, I . . . I'm so sorry." Your head told you not to forgive him, but your heart disagreed.

You stood up from the chair and went to his side, pulling him into a hug while he cried. "It's fine, Yeosang."

"It's not," he sobbed. "It's not fine and you know it. I said— I promised I wouldn't let anyone hurt you and would protect you from everyone. I promised I would never be the reason behind your tears. And look at what I did! God, I fucking hate myself for hurting you." Your heart hurt at the way he cried. You ran your fingers through his soft hair, trying to calm him down. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I want to ask you for another chance, but I know I don't deserve it," he whispered. "I failed to be a good boyfriend. I failed to be the man you could trust, and I failed to be the man you could l-love and—"

You brought his lips to yours, cutting him off. "I love you, Kang Yeosang. I'm in love with you. I have been for quite sometime now. Yes, you fucked up and I shouldn't be here, but I just can't let you go . . . I really love you, Yeosang. I want to give you another chance." He wiped your tears that began to fall.

"I don't deserve you, Y/N," he said with a sad smile. "But thank you for giving me another chance and for loving me . . . I swear I won't fuck up this time."

You kissed the birthmark beside his eye. "I know you won't . . . But I want an explanation."

He nodded. "There's nothing much to say, I was a fucking asshole. My friends always kept saying that I'm the innocent one, so I bullied people along with them to prove that I'm not what they think I am . . . and then I just got into it. I swear I wanted to beat them up for hurting you and saying all those awful things, but I just couldn't. I wasn't able to speak up even if I really wanted to . . . As for Kim Shinah, they told me to flirt back just to see her reaction. I swear I don't have any feelings for her or anyone else who isn't you." You listened to every word he said, contemplating on what to do. "You really don't have to forgive me, Y/N, after I put you through so much shit. I'll accept whatever decision you make, even if," he took a deep breath. "Even if you say you never want to see me again. I know I'm a bad person."

You shook your head, running your hands through his hair. "Everyone deserves another chance if they're willing to change, Yeosang. We all make mistakes, some forgivable and some unforgivable. But to me, what's important is how you deal with it afterwards. You're not a bad person, Yeosang. Yeah, you got carried away with all that, but that doesn't make you a bad person overall."

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he stood up from the chair, pulling you into a tight hug. "Thank you, baby. I swear I'll change. I fucking swear I'll become so much better that you'll be so proud to call me yours."

You cupped his cheek, wiping away his tears. "I'm already proud of you now," you say with a grin.

Yeosang leaned in, crashing his lips onto yours. "I love you, Y/N," he said in between kisses. "So much." You smiled against his lips, pulling away.

"I love you more, Kang Yeosang," you said before wrapping your arms around his neck, happily bringing his lips back to yours.

[blueunoia]

❤ ──── ·․ under watchful eyes (pt. 2)

━━━   SYNOPSIS: the reader and arvin find themselves back together and share a moment of joy with the intent of keeping what happened between their families and reverend teagardin but it’s hard to keep secrets in a small town where secrets don’t stay buried for long. 

━━━  WARNINGS: teenage proposal, harassments/bullying, and (minimal) description of violence. 

━━━  NOTES: Movie spoilers towards end of story. As mentioned in the warning Arvin proposes to the reader despite them only being 18, I decided to do this because it was very common for teens to get married in the 60s, especially in a situation like this (very religious family or town and interest in sex) so I thought it would add some fluff and drama while being time accurate. Like I said in the last part, I don’t condone any of Arvin's action he clearly has severe anger issues at least and mentally ill as a result of his traumatic childhood at worst. Hope you enjoy!

━━━  WORD COUNT: 2,379

━━━  PART(S): part three

✦·․  ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․  ❤ ․·✦·․·✦·․· ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ────  ․·✦

       The car ride home was the same as the ride to church: wordless. Arvin's hands clutched the steering wheel, and he stared with a stern gaze at the road ahead. Lenora wanted to say something, but she knew better not to. When Arvin was in a mood like this, it was almost always useless to calm him down. Unless it was you, somehow you always knew what to say. That or Arvin was so whipped that he just listened to you (and he didn't listen to anyone).

         When they finally arrived home, Arvin rushed inside, avoiding his Grams. Getting out of his church clothes, he thought about how likely it would be to get to the phone in the kitchen without his Grandma seeing. Then he thought about how likely it was that you'd even pick up or that your momma would let you talk to him. 

         Not likely, he surmised. So with a glance downstairs, he tried to bolt to his car so he could wait for Lenora in peace. She never took too long to get ready. Just pick out her dress and then brush her hair. Lenora didn't wear makeup; she never believed women should paint their faces like that. Arvin hadn't seen his grandmother, so he thought he'd be okay, but after almost reaching the door, he heard her call out. 

      "Now, Arvin, I know you aren't trying to sneak out with talking to me," she said. She was sat at the kitchen table with a disapproving look on her face. Pointing towards Arvin, she curved her fingers to herself, telling him to come to her. With a sigh, he followed, sitting down at the table. 

     "Yes?" he asked, annoyed. 

      "I know you're upset, but your gonna have to apologize to that priest-"

       "I ain't apologizing to that creep!" 

      Grams shook her head at his stubbornness, so much like his father, "You will. He is a man of God, and you tried to fight him! Do you know how many looks I'm gonna get when I go out into town? You can't be behaving like that. I won't allow it. I'm not gonna let you run wild like those city kids," she finished before standing up. Pointing the finger at Arvin, she held a stern look, "Don't you fight with me, boy."

       Arvin sighed, defeated; he didn't want his grandmother to be looked at poorly. He gave her a short nod before standing up himself, "I gotta go to school," he mumbled. Grandma nods but grabs him before he leaves, gripping the sides of his shirt and tucking them in for him. Arvin let out a little laugh at it. He swore she got more persnickety every year she grew older. 

         After that, she finally let Lenora and him leave for school. As they drove, Lenora smiled as she noticed Arvin's mood seemed to be better now. However, her smile faltered as Lenora saw Mrs. L/N car pass theirs. Arvin immediately took his eyes off the road to try and see Y/N. But she wasn't there. Lenora could see the change in Arvin's deposition as soon as he realized it; eyes back on the road, he gritted out, "Did you see her?"

       Lenora shook her head softly. "Maybe she was laying down?" she offered.

       Arvin's jaw tightened. "Her momma probably left her with that preacher," he growled. "I don't trust him."

        Lenora looks toward Arvin. "Why not? Pastor Teagardin seems nice."

        "Nice? He's a creep! I've seen how he's been looking at the girls. It ain't normal, Lenora," Arvin rants. "I don't want her left alone with him." 

         As they pulled into the school parking lot, Lenora grabbed her bag and opened the door, waiting to hear Arvin's door shut too. When the click never hit her ears, she turned around, seeing Arvin still in the car. Lenora frowns, "Aren't you coming in, Arvin?"

      He shook his head, "I got something to do."

      "You aren't going back to fight that preacher, are you?" Lenora huffs, "You can't-"

     "I'm not gonna fight 'im, Lenora. I just got something to do, okay?" Arvin asks, starting the car. His eyes had a pleading look. "Just don't tell Grams, alright? I'll be back to pick you up when schools out."

         Lenora sighs with defeat, "Alright. I won't tell Grams."

          He wasn't lying. Arvin did have something to do, and it didn't have to do with his bad feeling about that preacher. Arvin drove back to the lake that Reverend Teagardin had caught the two at for a specific reason. He lost an important thing there, an important box that held an essential ring for him. Arvin didn't intend to propose so soon. He wanted to wait 'til the summer came, and the two of you might've left town. With everything that happened, though, he could only imagine one way, your mother and father would let the two of you keep seeing each other. They were also stricter than his grandma, not too severe, but they followed his words when it came to God. 

         So Arvin was going to make an honest woman out of you. The only problem being he had the box in his car from when he bought it, and now Arvin couldn't find it, he remembered how he hastily hid it when you two went on your date, and all he could imagine is it fell out. So he drove back to the dreaded lake pulling in and checking for the Reverend. 

         Once he made sure the coast was clear, he got out of the car. Looking around the ground, Arvin didn't notice you when you stepped out from behind the tree you had hidden behind. You let out a breath when you realized it was Arvin, a smile etching itself on your face. Watching him closely, you saw him looking at the ground and bending down. What was he looking for?

       "Arvin?" you called out. 

Arvin stood up immediately, and his head spun around until he saw you. He couldn't stop himself from smiling and coming towards you, and then he realized what he was holding and hastily threw it in the dashboard. You ran to him and threw your arms around him. Arvin reciprocating faster than he ever had, squeezing you gently. "Are you alright?" he breathed out. 

"Yes," you said immediately, "I am now, at least." You pulled away from Arvin, putting a hand on his cheek. "I missed you," you said quietly. Arvin was never too good with words, so he nods before bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was soft, both of you deepening it quickly and your tongues caressing each other. When Arvin pulled away, he couldn't help but chuckle at the dreamy look on your face. 

         You bit your lip, "What if someone sees us again?"

         Arvin hadn't thought about that, but now you said that all he could think about is what would happen if Teagardin saw you two again. Undoubtedly, your parents would never let you see him. Grabbing your hand, he dragged you back into his car, and the two of you set off on a drive until you found somewhere else to stay. It was just a simple park, out of town where no one would see. You and Arvin held hands when you walked in, the two of you talking about your nights. You turn to him, "Do you like my new skirt?" it was off-topic, but you were smiling now genuinely smiling, so he didn't mind. 

        Arvin smiles back at you. "You look prettier than Kelly and Hepburn," he compliments. You smile shyly, and your cheeks flush with color. Arvin retakes your hand, bringing you to the nearby park bench. 

         "I wanted to ask you something," Arvin says, fidgeting with his hands. "With everything that happened... I know that your 'momma isn't going to let you see me anymore. Probably not for a while at least, and I don't want that. I know I don't say it often, but I love you. I love you a lot, Y/N, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life," he felt the bubble of nervous go from his stomach and rise into his chest. He couldn't help but second guess. You were both so young, but then again, most people got married around your age, maybe a little older right? He let out a breath and calmed himself, grabbing the ring from his jacket pocket. "I want you to marry me. I know it's soon, but it'd make your parents happy, and I want to be with you." 

          You looked at the ring he had in his hand in shock, but Arvin could tell from the smile on your face that you were happy, and soon enough, you threw your arms around him with a "Yes!" 

         For a moment, everything was perfect. The two of you sharing each other's warmth, Arvin is sliding the simple ring onto your finger, and nothing lousy stirring in your thoughts. It didn't seem like anything wrong could touch you two, but still, it did, and it started that night. 

         You had the head home soon after that. You never told Arvin what happened with the preacher. After Arvin proposed, it didn't cross your mind. You spent the car ride laughing, listening to music, and talking about how you thought everyone would react to your news. The two of you drove to the school first to pick up Lenora, and you thought about if you should take your ring off or not. You were so distracted that you didn't realize Lenora was running out of the school for the third time this week. Frowning, you open the door for her, and she jumped into the car. 

      "Y/N?" she asks, shutting it, but the noise of Gene and his gang coming out hollering stopped you from talking. Arvin drove off in a hurry glaring at the boys. They'd did their time, soon, he thought. Lenora noticed your ring, but you and Arvin had decided it'd be best not to tell her yet. Lenora wasn't known for her secret-keeping skills, but a part of you thought she knew. 

         You went to the cemetery with Lenora, all three of you traveling up to her mother's grave. Arvin couldn't help but notice your troubled looks the longer you stayed. He didn't ask why, though. It must've been about your momma, he told himself; it was getting a little dark out already. 

          So he drove you home after that. None of you expected to see the sheriff outside your home, though. Did she report you missing? You thought. That'd be a little extreme. As you stepped out of the car hastily, Arvin promised to stay behind in case something terrible broke out. Your breath hitched when you realized why the Sherriff was here. Arvin stepped out of the car at the terror on your face and felt the anger boil inside of him.

"W-H-O-R-E" was spelled out in red paint on your daddy's car. There were egg yolk and shells scattered across your yard and a broken window. Running up the hill, your mother saw you and pulled you into a hug. "Who did this?" you asked, tears pricking at your eyes. 

Your mother didn't acknowledge Arvin, who had ditched his cigarette and was now behind you, fists balled up. Your mother shook her head. "It was just some criminal boys," she pulls away from you, but her hands still tightly grasp your arms. "Where have you been?"

Arvin stomped off. He knew what 'rascal boys' your mother was talking about, and he wasn't going to sit here and let them torture you too. He ignored the bicker as he got into his car, hurling the door shut. 

"Is she okay?" Lenora asks softly.

         "She'll be fine. Let's get home."

When Arvin dropped off Lenora at the church the next day, he didn't stay with her. Your momma had kept you home, so when he returned to the school, he was just by his lonesome. Waiting patiently outside in his car, the rain poured down while he kept watching for Tommy Matson. Arvin kept himself busy by going through his pack of cigarettes, anxious about what he would do. It had to be done, though; he kept telling himself. Eventually, Tommy Matson came out with a girl, the two headings off to the bus to mess around. It made him angrier. How could he judge you when he was doing the same thing? Arvin made a noise outside of the bus, and Tommy came to check on it, not seeing Arvin before he pulled him out of the bus and brought down the tire iron on his back. 

After that, he set after Orville and Gene. Both of them were in the garage working on the car. Gene didn't see him coming when he slammed the car hood over him. He grabbed Orville and punched him a few times, rubbing the twinkie in his face before turning back to grab Gene, who tried to run off. Kicking Gene, he made sure to keep him down while he wrestled the brown paper bag over his head. If it weren't for the bag, Gene would be able to feel Arvin's breath. "You touch my sister or my girl again, and I'll kill you." 

Arvin left Gene there, and he saw Orville run off after he left the garage. He figured Orville helped Gene; he was wrong though, it'd take several hours until someone found him. The paper bag still on his head. Arvin wouldn't lie: he didn't feel bad about it. 

Arvin went and got Lenora from the cemetery, apologizing about how he missed it, but she didn't seem to mind. She didn't notice the blood on his knuckles either. Lenora seemed happier. "I know you probably got other things you'd like to do, so; I can come to the church on my own now."

Arvin didn't ask any questions about the sudden revelation from Lenora. He didn't realize how bad a mistake that was in the moment because in only a few more months, things would get worse than they ever had been, and he wouldn't have Lenora to confide in. 

✦·․  ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․  ❤ ․·✦·․·✦·․· ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ────  ․·✦

I hope you enjoyed part two! I posted this on my AO3 (under the same name) first and kind of forget to post it on my tumblr so it’s a little late. I was kind of shocked at how many views it got on here but I’m happy people enjoyed it. 

Don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment!

━━━  MASTERLIST

[thominho-incorrectquotes]

Can’t you hear me screaming?

This is my entry for Thominho Week 2021, Day 3 “ Fake dating ”

Characters: Thomas x Minho

2933 words

Tags: Modern Au, College Au, Fake Dating, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, mention of harrasment and bullying, Fluff and angst, demisexual Thomas, demiromantic Thomas

Summary:  “Kiss me.” Those were words Minho never saw coming for Thomas’s mouth, especially not in a party celebrating their success at the track meet. Not that he was one to complain that his lifelong crush suddenly wanted to be kissed by him. But coming from Thomas, it just didn’t make any senses.

Note:  This was supposed to be published yesterday, but I got busy. Hope you like it!

You can also read it on AO3 and ff.net

_____________________________

"Kiss me."

Those were words Minho never saw coming for Thomas's mouth, especially not in a party celebrating their success at the track meet. Not that he was one to complain that his lifelong crush suddenly wanted to be kissed by him. But coming from Thomas, it just didn't make any senses.

"What?"

"Kiss me!" He repeated over the loud music in the background. "Please~"

"I heard the first time! It's just… why?"

Thomas looked down in shame. "It's Gally…"

The young Asian sighed. "He did it again?"

Thomas only nodded.

Of course. Ever since Gally discovered Thomas never had been in a relationship, he made his duty to find someone for his friend. Because that's what friends do, right?

But it wasn't that simple.

In their group of friends, Minho, Thomas's best friend since childhood, was the only one who knew that Thomas was demisexual and demiromantic, which meant that the young man could only develop sexual and romantic attraction to someone if he had a deep emotional bond with that person. Along with that, the boy was extremely uncomfortable with everything that has to do with romance and sex, which made Gally's attempt at finding him someone extremely unwanted and unpleasant.

However, telling the tall blond boy about Thomas's sexuality wasn't an option, at least in Thomas's mind. And Minho perfectly understood why.

Back in High School, when Thomas first discovered his sexuality, a dude named Eric overheard a conversation between the brunet and his best friend. He then proceeded to mock Thomas, saying that he wasn't a real man for having no interest in sex, suggesting to pay someone to have sex with him to "cure him", saying he was sick and needed to go to a psychiatric hospital, and other horrible things. Worst, he got the whole school into it. If some people didn't care at all, many, mostly Eric's friends, bullied Thomas to no end, pushing him, mocking him, touching him in places he didn't want to be touched… The day Minho had to save his friend from being assaulted was the day Thomas had enough and changed school. The Korean followed him to this new school where they met their actual group of friends with whom they later on went to college with.

But the experience was traumatizing enough that Thomas kept his demisexuality and demiromanticism hidden. He didn't want to face something like that ever again.

"Please~" Thomas said again. "I can take it anymore! If we pretend to be boyfriends for a while, Gally would drop it."

Minho felt a headache coming up. The alcohol he had been drinking didn't help.

"That's your solution? Fake dating?" the runner mocked. "Thomas, we're not in a shucking romance movie. People don't do that in real life. May I also add that kissing is not something you like doing?"

"It's the only solution!" Thomas argued. "I tried to tell him I wasn't interested! So many times! But he didn't listen. Just now, he introduced me to that girl - Brenda I think - and she practically threw herself at me! You know how much I hate it…"

Minho gritted his teeth in anger. Some people never learned. He pushed back memories of a younger Thomas, face wet with tears, in the school washroom, after another harassment.

"Do it for me…" Thomas pleaded once again, knowing the Korean would eventually give in.

Another sigh. "Okay…"

That was the worst decision Minho ever made. He was in for a broken heart.

Ever since he laid eyes on Thomas back in elementary school, he knew what he was feeling was special. At the time, he didn't know how to distinguish romantic and platonic feelings and sure wasn't aware that two boys could be in love since LGBTQ+ rights weren't as advanced. But he still knew that he wanted to be around that boy forever.

It's been years know, and he was falling in love with his best friend more and more each days. When Thomas told him he was demisexual and demiromantic, it had been a big hit for Minho because they were best friend, they had the strongest bond ever, and if Thomas wasn't in love with him still, he would never be. He tried to stay strong, dated few girls and guys, but nothing that lasted because he could not get over his best friend. He was the only one…

And now? Thomas wanted him to pretend to be his boyfriend?

That was life laughing at him.

"He's looking at us!" Thomas suddenly urged, looking at the sea of people, forcing Minho out of his thoughts. "Kiss me now!"

He wasn't allowed a second thought, wasn't allowed to change his mind. He quickly grabbed the brunet's hips, bringing him closer, and leaned in.

Once he touched Thomas's lips, something broke inside of him. Why did it feel so right? Why did it feel so good? From that moment on, he knew no one else could ever replace Thomas.

Minho wasn't going for a deep or passionate kiss, but to his surprise, it was the boy in his arms who put more pressure into the kiss, who moved his mouth. He guessed it was only to make this whole thing more realistic.

They parted few seconds later. Thomas was smiling.

"Thank you."

He left Minho there, going back to the party. As if he was in a shitty romance movie, sounds came back to his hears. He looked around. Nobody had apparently seen them. Except from a tall blond man.

He saw Gally coming his way and immediately felt the need to leave that party. But he was supposed to go back with Thomas, so he couldn't yet.

"Park!"

Minho felt a headache incoming.

"Would you care to explain?" Gally asked as if he had just been slapped in the face.

"Explain what?" the young man replied, annoyed.

"That!" He basically yelled, pointing at Thomas who was now talking to Newt and Alby. "Since when are you two a thing?"

Minho hesitated a moment. Should he tell the truth? But this thought was pushed back. He couldn't betray his best friend.

"Since a while, shuck-face" He replied, harshly, annoyed at everything and everyone, including Thomas who always had a way to make him do anything.

"But why did he not tell me? I wouldn't have tried to find someone for him if he did!"

That was the last straw. Minho was now furious.

"He did tell you! He told you to stop!" He shouted, not caring that some people were now staring at them. "But did you listen? No! If someone don't want a relationship or don't want to talk about theirs, you should respect that, asshole!"

He couldn't stay here any longer. Spotting his best friend, he heavily stomped towards him before taking his arms, forcing him to follow. "I've had enough, were going back home."

"But…"

"No."

Okay. He was that mad. Over the years, Minho had learned to control his hot-temper and knew when to leave before doing things he would later regret. Thomas understood that if they stayed, the Korean would probably beat the living out of Gally. So he followed, waving at Newt and Alby, before going back to the small studio apartment he was sharing with his friend.

"I'm sorry" he said on their way back, "it's all my fault."

The dark-haired boy seemed calmer, but he still pressed his temple before answering, an old habit that helped him calm down. "It's not your fault Tommy, it's Gally who's an asshole and can't get a hint."

"But I still kinda forced you to-"

"Stop that. I made my decision, okay?"

Thomas was relieved. He hated when his best friend was mad, especially at him.

"So…"

Another sigh. "Yeah, I went with your idea… I'll pretend to be your boyfriend…"

The boy almost threw himself at his friend, thanking him by a hug.

"You're the best! Thank you so much Min!"

"Yeah, but you have to do all the dishes from now on for that."

Thomas pouted, but he only got a glare back.

"Okay, okay, I'll do that. I guess it's the least I can do…"

…

The next day, they were bombarded by messages from their friends. They were freaking out, asking when everything started, why they didn't tell them and how they should totally tell the whole story. There was also Newt saying it was about time and Minho didn't know how to feel about that.

But for now, everything was a mess.

On their usual Sunday brunch with the boys, all those questions were popping off again. Minho, who was busy massaging his temples, let Thomas, who was sitting next to him, closer than usual, do all the talking. He didn't say much, only the basics, about how they just didn't feel like sharing this information yet, that they wanted to explore that new thing between them without anyone interfering.

For someone who always claimed to be uncomfortable with romance if he wasn't romantically attracted, Minho was really surprised at how at ease Thomas was talking about it. Maybe he prepared a speech?

And when the boy suddenly kissed him on the cheek, it took all his will power to not jump in surprise. Hoping no one noticed his stiffness, he took the brunet's hands in his and smiled, pretending to be a good boyfriend.

"Aww, look how cute they are~" Frypan teased.

"Yeah" Zart added with a wink. "I now understand why you guys wanted your own apartment, you must do it a lot, right?"

Oh. Minho didn't about that. Of course that now they were "dating", people would assume they're having sex. And sex was a hard topic for Thomas, even if he once told him that he really wanted to do it one day, if he ever get sexually attracted to someone. The Korean looked at his friend, worried about him, guessing he hadn't anticipated this comment too. He saw him blushing and looking down, probably embarrassed, but he didn't say anything. Minho lightly squeezed the hand he was holding, showing his support.

The conversation thankfully drifted and Minho was finally able to relax for a bit.

…

They kissed again at another party thrown by someone Minho didn't know. His friends just told him the track team was invited so he kind of felt obligated to go. And he was annoyed as hell.

So many people, some he didn't even know, commented on his "relationship" with Thomas, some dudes even saying low key homophobic shit, and some girls commenting on how "hot" it was that too attractive guy were dating.

This was hell. Of course it wasn't the first time he received those type of comments, as he has been out as bisexual for a while now, but it was just getting on his nerves and he so desperately wanted to leave this party.

Finishing the cheap beer he was drinking, he was suddenly pulled by Thomas in a secret-not-so-secret area.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

It was a repeat of last time. When Minho had agreed to this masquerade, he didn't thought he would have to kiss Thomas again. The first time had been painful enough.

"Gally doesn't believe in our relationship, he thinks it's fake…"

"And we have to kiss to prove him? Should I remind you that this whole thing is indeed fake."

"I know, but please. For me?" He seemed desperate.

Looking around, he realized that Thomas chose the perfect spot. It was intimate enough to seem like they wanted some kind of privacy, while also allowing anyone who was looking to see them.

Spotting a tall blond looking at them, he sighed.

"Okay."

And then he pinned Thomas to the wall and kissed him. At least, Gally would get a show and would maybe let his friend alone.

Ignoring the pain in his chest, ignoring the thoughts that he would never get that again, ignoring that it was all he ever wanted, he lost himself to Thomas's lips.

Going deeper, pressing their bodies together, he kissed Thomas like he always wanted too. It was passionate, filled with sparks along with a warm feeling in his guts. He never wanted it to stop.

Realizing what he was doing, he released the boy. Thomas was blushing hard and was looking everywhere, but at Minho.

Klunk. He fucked up.

He made his best friend uncomfortable, which was the least thing he wanted to do.

"U-uh, t-thanks" the brunet said before leaving Minho there, going back to the party.

Let's just say, the way back home was very awkward.

...

They acted like nothing happened. It was better that way.

However, in the eyes of their friends, they were still dating. And Minho couldn't take it anymore. They still went on with it, hugging, stealing a kiss or two, adding PDA to their already existing friendship.

And Minho felt so bad about it. It felt like taking advantage of Thomas. He hated how much he enjoyed having his "boyfriend" in his arms, how much he enjoyed kissing him, how much he enjoyed everything.

Because he knew Thomas didn't and that was the worst feeling.

So when he proposed Minho to go the party after their track meet, like tradition obliged, the young man refused.

"But… why? Gally will be there and-"

"No." Minho interrupted him. "No. I can't."

"Can't what?"

The Korean pressed his temples before answering, knowing his heart would shatter in few seconds.

"I can't do it anymore."

"Can't do what? Fake date me?"

"Yes."

"B-but…" Thomas stuttered. He was agitated, panicked even. "W-what about Gally-"

"I don't shucking care about Gally, Thomas." He interrupted again, speaking louder. "I. Can't. Do. It. Anymore. Do you understand that?"

The brunet was now distressed.

"B-but, please!" He begged. "Please Minho! Don't…"

"NO! Stop! I can't, okay?! I can't!"

"Why!?"

"Because I love you!"

The words left his mouth involuntarily. Realization hit him as Thomas's eyes widened.

"Shit." He said. "Shit, shit, shit."

He grabbed his head into his hands, pressing hard, clenching his eyes shut, hoping this was all a dream and that he didn't just confess to his best friend.

"You… you love me?"

Minho was on the verge of tears. He was going to lose his best friend. "Yes…" he still admitted softly, because he could not deny it any longer.

"And I can't pretend to be your boyfriend anymore because it just feels like I'm taking advantage of you whenever we're hugging or kissing" he added. "It feels so good, yet so wrong because I know you don't like it, I know you're not attracted to me, and I'm here taking advantage of the situation while making you uncomfortable and-"

"You're so dumb."

Minho raised his head, finally looking at Thomas who was definitely calmer than before.

"You're so dumb" he repeat. "I would've not asked you to do that if that made me uncomfortable. In fact, I was feeling bad because it was like I was forcing you to do all that, but I couldn't stop…"

He paused, biting his lips as his friend looked at him with surprised eyes.

"In fact… I thought that maybe if we pretended to date, it was my only chance at dating you because I never thought you could love me…"

At that, Minho was immediately at the brunet side, stroking the few tears that were on his cheeks, tears the boy probably didn't even noticed.

"Oh Tommyboy…"

"I'm sorry… I should've told you before. You're my best friend. The most important person for me. We have the strongest bond. Of course I love you…I can't see myself with anyone but you… but I thought that if I told you, we would lose what we had and I didn't want that… I'm so sorry…"

"Shh, stop…" Minho whispered while taking the young man in his arms. "It's my fault too… I was scared of losing you too, so I didn't say anything… I'm sorry…"

Thomas pressed his face in the Korean's chest, and Minho almost died. He was allowed to hold his friend in his arms. He was allowed to hug him, kiss him… love him.

"I'm sorry…" he murmured again. "I love you so much…"

They ended up on their couch, cuddling, with Minho pressing soft kisses on top of Thomas's head. Because now, he could.

He could drown him in affection if he wanted too.

"How long?" Thomas asked, breaking the silence. "How long have you been in love with me?"

"Since forever, shank."

The boy beamed. "For real?"

"Yeah…"

It was now Thomas's turn to kiss him passionately, and this time, there was no holding back. Tongues danced with each other, hands were everywhere, feeling everything. It was desperate, needy, and so earth-shattering. It was everything they need.

When they separated, breathing hard, only love could be seen in their eyes. And their smiles shined like the sun.

"You know" Thomas started "I love kissing you…"

Minho raised an eyebrow, and by his smirk, the brunet knew he shouldn't have said that. "Oh yeah? Does that mean that I'll also get to have sex with you?" he teased.

Thomas rolled his eyes, but the Asian knew that it meant yes.

"Now?"

That got him a slap on his chest.

"I'm joking! You know I'll be fine with just being able to kiss and hold you and that I would wait forever for you."

"I know."

"Great. Also know that I'm never letting you go, sorry shank, but you're stuck with me."

Thomas winked at that "That's what I want."

____________________________

Thomas's experience about his demisexuality and demiromanticism in this fic is heavily inspired by my own and does not reflect all demi-aroace experiences.

Thank you for reading!

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Got any friendship platonic yan Tale, Fell, Swap, Swapfell, Fellswap and Storyshift Asriel, Chara, Frisk and MK?

YANDERE UNDERTALE CHARA AS A FRIEND: ~ Chara is a very fussy person. She is always angry and shows no sign of actually liking you, but she actually is very attached to you. If you would ever get angry with her, she would probably apologize and ask you to keep being friends with her.

~She is the first one to kill anyone that bullies you. You are her friend and she is the only one who can make fun of you. Anyone else who tries will end up dying a mysterious and painful death.

~ “Listen to me, alright? You are my friend and I’ll protect you! So, if anyone is making fun of you, just tell me and I’ll teach them what happens when you make fun of my friends”

~Chara is very possessive and will make sure that everyone knows that you are her friend, that is why the chance of you actually finding a lover is pretty low.

~ “Why are you sad? Lovers are shitty anyway. Friendships are much better, and last longer!”

YANDERE UNDERTALE ASRIEL AS A FRIEND:

~Asriel would spend most of his time with you, always following after you if you would be busy with something. He just doesn’t want to leave you, because he doesn’t feel good when you are not around him. You are the only fun and interesting person, except for Chara.

~He would invite you to hang out with him and Chara quite a lot and he would probably ask you to sleepover at his place quite a bit because he doesn’t want to be far from you.

~ “Come on, pleaseee! It’s going to be fun, I promise!! I got a few new video games, we can play them!”

~Because his older sister is quite dangerous, whenever you would tell him someone is annoying you or is bullying you, he will make sure to tell Chara, so she could take care of it.

~ “Don’t worry anymore! Now, do you want to grab that nice cream or not?”

YANDERE UNDERTALE FRISK AS A FRIEND:

~A quite yet kid person, Frisk actually is pretty selfish. Every single time you would start to stray from her, she would reset to try again. If you ever find a lover, she would reset and kill that person, so you wouldn’t ever think of leaving her behind.

~Frisk would keep doing that over and over again, without any regard for anyone. It’s no wonder that Sans actually hates her and most humans. He just doesn’t trust them anymore and for good reasons.

~ “Hey, let’s get something tasty together, okay?”

~If she sees that killing people isn’t going to help, she will start spreading nasty rumors about you, before only she would be around you, and you would have no choice but stay with her.

~ “Don’t worry, I won’t ever leave you! I’m your best friend, am I not?”

YANDERE UNDERTALE MONSTER KID AS A FRIEND:

~No matter where you are, Mickey is always there. He always finds where you are, and will always approach you to be with you. The reason? Because he is a complete and utter stalker. He had been using his skills on Undyne before, but now that he has such a great friend like yourself, why would he ever need Undyne?

~Mickey is also your biggest fan! He knows absolutely everything about you. Even things that only you know. That is, again, because he is a stalker, and managed to get a lot of information from other people about you. He knows that’s not really good, but he really wants to be your best friend!

~ “Oh, don’t worry bestie! I already got you this! I just thought you would like this!!”

~No matter what you would do, you just can’t get rid of Mickey. And if you ever ask help from someone else, they will just not believe you because Mickey just seems such a good person. Besides, he doesn’t have legs, and his magic is pretty weak. What could he ever do to you?

~ “Maaan! You sure are fast! Okay, let’s not play tag anymore, okay? I hurt myself while running! You know I’m clumsy, you meanie!!”

YANDERE UNDERFELL CHARA AS A FRIEND:

~Dessy is actually a very good friend, as hard as it might be to believe it. Unlike with a lover, Dessy really appreciates friends. Not many people want to be friends with her, so you wanting to befriend her would mean the world to her.

~She would spend a lot of time with you and would use her connections to make your life at least a little bit easier. She would also try her best to make you understand that the rumors about her are only for lovers and not her friends.

~ “Thank you for being my friend. I was tired of just being friends with the dogs...”

~If you both are underground, Dessy will make sure that all the bad things you will do will be hidden, so no one else would know about it.

~ “Hey, don’t worry about it, okay? It’s just a secret between us two! To make our friendship stronger, alright?”

YANDERE UNDERFELL ASRIEL AS A FRIEND:

~The moment you two become friends, Tuscan would introduce you to his older sister, Dessy. There are two reasons why he would do that. One is that he wants Dessy to know that you are off-limits for killing, and second, he wants you to understand how great she actually is so you could help him fight the rumors that are spread about her. He really is obsessed with his older sister, and now he is obsessed with you too.

~You and Dessy are his dearest people, and he will make sure that everyone knows that if they mess with you, he will kill them in the most painful way possible and Dessy will eat their dead carcass/pile of dust.

~ “Don’t worry. No one will make fun of you and get to get out alive, you hear me?”

~If you start to stray from him, chances are that he will get his sister to kidnap you and keep you in their basement. He just knows that with them both you will be safe. Just please ignore your cellmate. That’s Dessy’s meal.

~ “Stop struggling! This is for the best! The sooner you realize this, the better it will be!”

YANDERE UNDERFELL FRISK AS A FRIEND:

~Fawn would probably always complain about monsters to you. Saying how disgusting they are and that they should return from where they came, saying that she hated how they were now alive. 

~If you are a monster too, she would tell you that you are lucky you are her friend, or else she would kill you from how disgusting you actually are and look.

~ “Only reason you are still alive, monster, is because you are needed”

~Even with her cruel words, she will probably not kill you, but instead, keep you as her pet in Dessy’s basement, where she lives. Do ignore the other two residents there. One is Dessy’s meal and the other is Tuscan’s friend.

~ “Behave or you’ll be the next meal of my caretaker over there!”

YANDERE UNDERFELL MONSTER KID AS A FRIEND:

~Penny would probably be a little bit unsure about being friends with you. You see, she’s friends with Fawn, and she’s not sure if the girl would actually spare you or not. But outside of that, Penny would be very controlling of your life.

~Penny would want to know everything about your life and what you are doing. She needs to know or else she will drive herself insane. If you won’t follow the rules she gives you, she will need to ask Fawn to hurt you.

~ “You are my friend, but if you don’t follow the rules, I’ll tell Fawn, and she will happily hurt you...”

~Penny will soon start filtering who you can talk with, who you can be friends with and anyone she doesn’t approve of will be killed off by Fawn. 

~ “I told you to stop being friends with them. It’s your fault they died. Stop crying”

YANDERE UNDERSWAP CHARA AS A FRIEND:

~Cinnamon was such a sweetheart, wasn’t she? The best friend you could ever have, but why were all your other friends dying? Well, of course, because Cinnamon wasn’t as good as she liked to fake being.

~Like Frisk, Cinnamon was cruel and selfish, but she hid it behind a smile and a cheerful facade. It was always her who would start the genocide runs and not Buttercup.

~ “Well, I’m not going anywhere! Don’t worry!”

~She will threaten people to leave you alone and get Stretch and Lucky to do the dirty work for her too, in case someone is too strong for her alone.

~ “Don’t worry! Things will be better now, I promise!”

YANDERE UNDERSWAP ASRIEL AS A FRIEND:

~Tawny was honestly a funny guy. And he wasn’t bad at all at the beginning. Just a guy with big dreams and a wish for his parents to stop fighting and get back together. The fact that he was of the same monster species as the king and queen also would get things pretty confusing!

~Tawny would start to change when he would notice you straying away from him. He was the best friend you could ever want, why where you left him? No, don’t go, please. He’s alone without you...

~ “I promise I’ll be better! Please don’t go away...”

~Tawny would be desperate and he would probably kidnap you. He never did something like this, so he was afraid. Afraid of ruining your friendship completely.

~ “I-I promise to let you go, but for now, you need to stop screaming!”

YANDERE UNDERSWAP FRISK AS A FRIEND:

~Buttercup was quiet but a good friend. She always made sure to help you and stood up to you when you would be bullied. In general, she was the best friend you could ever have. 

~Because of her ghostly form, she would probably make it a habit to follow you around, and making sure that no one is hurting you. She would never kill someone, but she can always scare them away from you.

~ “Oh? They stopped harassing you? That’s great, isn’t it?”

~ She is one of the better people to be friends with because she actually is a true pacifist, so even as a yandere, she would never kill anyone and would make sure to keep you safe and happy.

~ “You’re the greatest, you know that?”

YANDERE UNDERSWAP MONSTER KID AS A FRIEND:

~Cantaloupe is a serious person, but also very gentle when you get to know him. He rarely ever goes out anywhere, so he is very thankful to have you as his friend.

~His favorite thing to do would always spoil you in riches as much as possible. He knew that buying things for others wasn’t going to gain him true friendship but he felt like you actually wanted to be friends with him.

~ “Hey... heard you wanted this... Here you go”

~Cantaloupe would probably scare most of the other people away from you, as he was the heir and no one wanted to mess with someone related to the heir.

~ “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to make you have no other friends... Want to play with me?”

YANDERE SWAPFELL CHARA AS A FRIEND:

~Pitch is the most cheerful and kind person that you will ever find. He’s absolutely great, and there is no way around it. But the problem is that he doesn’t realize when he is hurting people. Because of that, Pitch doesn’t have any other friends outside of you and Mutt, who doesn’t usually mind being hurt, and tells him when he is doing something bad.

~Pitch would probably invite you to hang out with him and Mutt all the time, having a lot of sleepovers and in general, having a lot of fun together. 

~ “Man, I’m so glad you two are my friends! You are the greatest!”

~Sadly... Pitch gets jealous very easily. If he sees you talking with someone else, he is more than likely going to accidentally snap the necks of the person, not being able to believe that someone dared to take your time away from him!

~ “How rude! Anyways, wanna hang with me and Mutt?”

YANDERE SWAPFELL ASRIEL AS A FRIEND:

~Cobalt is a very collected and quiet young man. Because of that, he is usually seen as very boring, so not many people are around him. But he is very strong, so with him, you will always be protected from anyone who might try to get free exp from you.

~Cobalt will probably follow you around, quietly, and without asking for your permission, all the time whenever he is not busy with his work. And when he is busy, he does track you with his magic.

~ “... Don’t go to Waterfalls... It’s dangerous there”

~Cobalt tries to not kill people, but he does hurt them very badly if they try to hurt you too. But he’ll mostly do it so you don’t see it. He doesn’t want you to think badly of him.

~ “... Are you okay?”

YANDERE SWAPFELL FRISK AS A FRIEND:

~Chartreuse was... well, he is very controlling. You are his, no matter if you are just his friend, enemy, or lover. The moment you get to know him, you are naturally his property. 

~His position as the next king really has gotten to his head, as he doesn’t care about what you want or how you feel about him controlling so much of your life.

~ “I’m the prince and future ruler of the monster race. Do not defy me, or you will be executed”

~He will get everyone you know executed almost immediately after befriending you and then moving you to the castle, where he knows how you are all the time.

~ “From this day on, you are my property. Do not defy my word or you will die like everyone you knew”

YANDERE SWAPFELL MONSTER KID AS A FRIEND:

~Peacock wasn’t always so bad, but because of her older brother, she has learned that the only way to get what she wanted was by following a sort of rule sets that she had put for herself. She learned that only by acting better than everyone else would she become better than everyone else.

~The reason why Peacock liked you so much was that you dared to defy her word, unlike everyone else. That made her be freer around you and actually start to enjoy her time with someone.

~ “I’m glad I know you”

~Like Chartreuse, she would use her status to get people executed, but only when she would see that they were taking too much of your time, or telling you to stay away from her.

~ “Do not listen to those traitors!... Or you will be executed too...”

YANDERE FELLSWAP CHARA AS A FRIEND:

~Mohagany is a very strong person. Fighting through a lot of trials, she doesn’t let people stomp on her. And because you are her friend, she doesn’t let people stomp on you too.

~Mohagany has the strongest justice sense you could ever think. She will always make sure that people around her protected, especially you. That’s why she is quick to get into fights.

~ “Don’t you EVER harass my friend again, you hear me?!”

~Mohagany is actually in an on and off relationship with Patch, that’s why he will often be around you two. But if you would ever be interested in Patch, she would happily give him up for you.

~ “Hey, if he can make you happy, then take him. I want you to be happy, okay?”

YANDERE FELLSWAP ASRIEL AS A FRIEND:

~Flaxen was always bored with everything. Everything WAS boring, so why wouldn’t be bored? Well, everything was boring except for you. You were the only high light of his day.

~Flaxen is very possessive of you, not wanting someone else to take you away from him, so he would usually make you follow him around, or stay in his house until he would be around you.

~ “Unless you want to get killed, you will follow what I tell you”

~Flaxen will try to make sure that you are comfortable every single time you are with him. You make his days better, so he wants to make sure that your days are good too.

~ “I’ll keep you safe, alright? Just trust me”

YANDERE FELLSWAP FRISK AS A FRIEND:

~Canary’s whole existence is to help people. She loves helping people and she will keep helping everyone, especially you. It’s what makes her feel like she can live again.

~Canary sadly would be a very clingy person. She would always be stuck to you like glue, be it in her visible or spirit form, just watching you no matter what, not being able to get enough of you.

~ “Oh, don’t mind me! I’m just watching you! Always”

~Canary doesn’t hurt anyone but she can easily start begging you to stop talking with other people because you are killing her.

~ “Please, stop! I’m all you need, don’t do this to me!”

YANDERE FELLSWAP MONSTER KID AS A FRIEND:

~Jaded always was afraid of everything. No matter what it was, she couldn’t do anything without feeling like she was afraid of it. That was until you came around and finally made her feel comfortable. She was happy and didn’t want to let you go.

~Jaded would immediately force you into moving into the castle with her, so the two of you could always be together. She offered to take in your family too if you wanted.

~ “Don’t worry, everything was going to be great now!”

~Jaded would never let you leave her sight, otherwise, she would start getting fussy about it. You were here because of her, and she wasn’t going to let you leave anywhere.

~ “Stop trying to sneak away! It’s very rude”

YANDERE STORYSHIFT CHARA AS A FRIEND:

~Toffee would be a flirty friend. She would always be around you, touching you and flirting with you, but don’t worry, she is just joking.

~If you do not contact her in a few days, she gets very panicked and she might try to come and find you, too afraid to find out if something happened to you or not.

~ “Don’t worry me like this! I thought you died or something!”

~Toffee would probably try to get you and Plum together. She wanted to have both of her favorite people in one place, so why not make you two date?

~ “Come onnnn! My bro’s totally your type. He’s everyone’s type!”

YANDERE STORYSHIFT ASRIEL AS A FRIEND:

~From the moment that you become his friend, Plum would be very possessive of you and would make sure that you are always taking good care of yourself. If he catches you not taking care of yourself... Well, you can say goodbye to your freedom. If you can’t take care of yourself, he will take care of you instead.

~Every single day, he will arrive at your house and prepare you breakfast, make sure that you clean yourself, and would make sure that your house is squicky clean. He has a slob for a sister, so he can’t stand messy homes.

~ “You better take care of yourself, or else!”

~He will probably try to get you with his older sister. You are someone very important for him, and Toffee needs to finally settle down and have someone good for her, so why not you?

~ “Toffee is really perfect, I’m sure you both will get along. Please, at least go on one date with her?”

YANDERE STORYSHIFT FRISK AS A FRIEND:

~Pebble is similar to Frisk, but unlike Frisk, she doesn’t use the reset button after she promises that she will never use it again. The only reason she might use it would be if you would end up dying, but again, she would ask Toffee for permission beforehand, as she does have a slight crush on the woman.

~Pebble is a very sweet friend and has a great sense of humor. Every day with her is just filled with lots of fun and laughter. 

~ “I’m so happy you are my friend! Let’s never stray away, okay?

~Pebble is very clingy, and she has stalkerish tendencies. The chance of her following you around is huge because she couldn’t really imagine how her life would be without knowing your every move.

~ “I’m so happy you are so understanding of my problem!... You are understanding, right?” 

YANDERE STORYSHIFT MONSTER KID AS A FRIEND:

~Moss and you probably knew each other because you both lived in Snowdin for a long time. You could even say that you two were childhood friends, so you knew very well about his... staring tendencies.

~No matter what, he is always watching you. Staring at you and never breaking eye contact even when you catch him watching you. 

~ “... Hi...?”

~Moss barely speaks, and because of that, he can come off as someone very creepy. A lot of people avoid him because of that.

~ “... Do you want to take  a walk with me...?”

[techouspeaks]

Healin Good Precure Final Verdict and thoughts on Tropical Rouge Precure!

First off, sorry I haven’t been around that much to even talk about Healin Good. First, I just kinda lost interest in doing reviews for a while and then some personal snit just had to be thrown in when I really wanted to discuss somethings. So this review is kinda gonna be slightly unorganized but I’ll do my best and I’m really sorry about Precuruary again not being this year. This past year has been whoo! Just yeah...Anyway! I will try to be more active when I can be but I can’t make any promises right now. So onto the review! 

I know every year I’ve said that each precure seems a little better than the previous ones in some aspects. Like for example, Star Twinkle I felt was a little better than Hugtto in terms of overall enjoyment and characters, but it lacked developing the plot and the lackluster in the personality of the princesses. They could have had each princess have the certain traits expected from their signs such as Virgo being a perfectionist and Aries being hot tempered. 

Than again, maybe it’s cause I just think anything is better than Kira Kira! lol! I know I get a little harsh with that series. Given the other series that came before and after, can you blame me? There are better series than that. (In my opinion, anyway.)

Healin Good, I can definitely say this was a good ride for both plot, character, music and animation! Yes, the designs for the cures were a little lack luster and I still can’t help but get Cure Flora vibes from Grace, but eventually, I got used to it. In fact, while I know it was the anniversary of Yes Precure 5 Go Go!, I almost felt like they should have just made that into a separate movie and have Healin Good meet Go Princess since the cures there have a lot in common!

But of course being their own thing. They’re not copies of the GoPre girls, but they share definitely some things in common such as Cure Grace and Cure Flora’s flower theme, Cure Sparkle and Cure Twinkles love for fashion and star themes and Cure Fountain and Cure Mermaid for the water themes.

In terms of plot, it wasn’t like the most amazing plot ever, but it was decent and coherent. It was a serviceable plot that did the bare minimum and not be too crazy and outlandish and the morals at least made more sense unlike Twinkle. There was no getting grumpy dog people to learn to smile and be happy. 

Yes, the one thing that doesn’t make sense is how Cure Earth came to be and I will admit she as well as Fountain are the least interesting girls. I know people love Fountain/Chiyu! For me, blue cures have interesting stories but a personality that doesn’t fit it. They’re okay but I always feel like they’re just the cool kid that’s typically the responsible role model and nothing more, with the exception of Cure Marine and Cure Beauty, the later fits that role but she also has a bit more to her in terms of personality. The backstory for Fountain/Chiyu doesn’t make sense either. She sees the horizon line between the ocean and the sky and wants to jump that high. Then at first she’s just sees high jump as fun, which annoys a rival of hers and thus she’s pressured to like it more than just a school thing. It’s weird and almost complicated...

Cure Earth/Asumi is sorta a motherly kind of character since she’s in her 20s in appearance, but still a fish out of water. I’m glad they didn’t make her a teen so she had to go to school with the girls and she’s like the first adult main cure (Like I get Cure Flower, ancient cures and the Hugtto Cures, but I’m talking as in the main team member and not a side character type thing.) Which is nice, it shows that yes adults can be heroes. I mean we had adult superheroes all the time and the teen was just the less experienced side kick. 

As for personality, she’s a bit of a blank slate but I love her design! I know Green Cure and all wah, but hate to say it, the more people complain that there isn’t a green cure in every season, the more I’m kinda glad cause people get sooo uptight like they’re whitewashing a character or something. Like stop! It’s just a team color for Pete’s sake! Like even if they did her as a green cure, she’s kind of bland in personality so would you be happy with a green cure that’s sorta the blank slate?

I’m not saying she’s bad. She can be funny and it can be enjoying to watch her understand feelings and things since while an adult physically, she was basically born out of a whim and only knows how to talk and understand the basis of the Healing Garden as well as Princess Latte and Queen Teatinu. Shoot, she couldn’t even eat on her own.

My two favorite characters by far have to be Nodoka aka Cure Grace and Hinata aka Cure Sparkle. Hinata is just a fun character. She’s emotional, got a go getter attitude and I like the fact she’s into fashion but isn’t over the top annoying or particularly snobby, kinda like Cure Twinkle but different that Cure Twinkle has more of a professional attitude and higher skills, while Cure Sparkle is a bit clumsy and overly excited about everything. She has insecurities and flaws but thanks to Nodoka and Nyantoran, she gets over these rather quickly.

As for Nodoka, I know people are disappointed that her illness turned out nothing more than Daruzen, I don’t blame them for going this route. Yes, it kinda gives an unrealistic impression that the disease just simply needs to jump out of someone and they’ll be okay. I can’t help but think it might have backfired especially given the time since we had the you know what virus. So many kids were watching their families get destroyed and while, yes, it would be good to teach kids to stay strong and fight through it and that it takes time for people to recover fully, it could also be too overbearing for them as well if they happen to have a loved one who is sick or they themselves and are just constantly reminded of the suffering.

Put it short, there’s kind of no best way around it. You can either do it this way and there might be some kids that think well the virus can just jump out or do it the other way and risk kids getting depressed and anxious, which would be bad as depression and anxiety in kids has risen a lot since 2020. For me, I think kids are smarter than we give them credit. They are gonna be aware that stuff in cartoons/anime works differently than in the real world, so I feel like the route they took was better. It was already risky having the main character be sick and being put in the hospital to begin with.

With that being said, Nodoka is a good character for more reasons than her being sick and fighting an illness. She wants to be supportive because she needed support. Just because her illness turned out to be some alien germ from another dimension, doesn’t make her desire to help any less meaningful. She did suffer a lot, fought through pain and suffering through an unknown amount of time. Just cause she healed miraculously doesn’t make her suffering not real and her inspiration and influence on others less so.

Bottom line, it doesn’t matter how she healed, she still suffered, got inspire by those who helped her and thus inspired those to work hard on getting better. The message is still there.

But there is another thing that makes her special and that is when Nodoka told Daruzen off! That alone was the most inspiring thing ever done in a Precure series in a LONG time! It’s not just her standing up to a bully. She stood up to her abuser! And yes, I do like Daruzen and at first I thought they would be a cute couple, but I will admit when Daruzen took things too far and as someone that’s been sexually harassed and known people who were forced on, I can’t push forward with the ship or Daruzen for that matter. 

When Daruzen needed help, Nodoka pushed him away and then he outright made her feel bad about it. “I thought you were about helping others.” This is a tactic used by abusers, taking advantage of the kindness their victim usually has and congrats to Rabirin for being the best partner to a Precure. 

Nodoka holds no responsibility for Daruzen. He used her thus abused her, he caused so much pain not only onto her but to those around her. Put it short, Nodoka doesn’t owe Daruzen anything! That to me is one of the most important lessons to teach anyone especially young kids. It’s good to teach others to be kind and forgive folks, but if you don’t want to than don’t especially if they have done nothing but hurt you. Your health including mental health comes first above all else. It’s not selfish especially if the one needing help was selfish first and didn’t think about you in the long run.

So as much as I think that Daruzen X Nodoka could have been cute, I can’t help but applaud Toei for going this route instead. Especially these days, I feel it’s really important teach kids that it’s okay to think of what’s best for you, including putting a limit on helping people and setting boundaries. I’ve known even family members and friends that were in this situation where they had to stop helping someone, because that person took advantage of them and they had to put their foot down, cause they had to finally think of their own health and well being. It’s not selfish. It’s important to take care of yourself first!

Speaking of mascots, all the mascots are useful including Latte, which is the main mascot that is in peril the most since the villains make her sick. However, she is far from a passive pup as some people pass her off as. She does know when to put her paw down and even in the midst of her suffering, she does try when she can to help. Even go as far as refusing Nodoka’s care until she and Rabirin settle their differences to work together. She also has the ability to sense when the earth needs help and is the only animal that can do this. She also refuses Cure Earth’s/Asumi’s overly servitude towards her, showing she knows when to speak out about her own well being. True Latte doesn’t get too much to shine but when she does it’s rather welcomed.

Normally with mascots, I don’t care for them since they tend to be typically one note. The mascots for Healin Good are all memorable with their own personality  and they grow along side their respected cures. The only mascots I know that grew a lot was Yes! Precure 5/Go! Go’s Coco, Nuts and Milky, Go Princess Precure’s Aroma and Puffu. Mofurun only showed much growth in the movie where they became a cure. Though Mofurun is still more useful than the mascots in Kira Kira. (Yes, I will always take the opportunity to slam on that series!)

Speaking of Kira Kira...Oh boy. Well I was a little excited to finally have an ocean themed precure series with a mermaid, my excitement kinda dropped when I noticed the transformation compact and transformation. I’m gonna go a head and review the first episode since I watched it. 

I’ll first start off the with positives and move on to what I wouldn’t say are horrible things, but more so my overall concerns with it.

First, like others, I’m glad we got a lead cure that isn’t pink for once. This is a first since Splash Star Precure, whom I don’t think Cure Bloom counts. I mean in the first season, she kinda is pink, but then when she becomes Cure Bright her colors change so I kinda count her as being mix color, while Cure Dream was the first official Pink Cure.

I also like that while Manatsu/Cure Summmer is another happy go lucky type, she does have a bit more zest and isn’t the overall cutesy happy go lucky cures we’ve come to know. She’s different from Cure Star and Cure Yell, in which she’s happy go lucky in a more of a hot headed sense, than the cute, been bullied but still brave kid which was Cure Star and Yell.

Manatsu/Summer reminds me of Lina Inverse from Slayers and other similar red head characters from that era, which makes sense she is a red head. (Least Manatsu is).

The transformation and battle scenes are better too. I was worried that because the pact and start of the transformation looked so similar to Kira Kira, I was worried it would be exactly the same but it’s different enough it seems. My only gripe is that maybe Cure Summer’s final pose at the end for her transformation sequence could have been a bit more dramatic. Her pose look lack luster compared to the rest of her transformation.

The animation in Cure Summer’s attack is amazing but the 3D part of is a little distracting somewhat. I feel like the sun could have been done in 2D. Other than that, animation is gorgeous! Bright and colorful with nice detailing within the characters and background.

I also can’t help adore Cure Coral/Sango’s design and character. She hasn’t appeared that much, but already I kinda already adore her! She’s so precious and I can tell she’s already gonna be a fan favorite among many! I also like how she seems sweet and quiet but isn’t shy either. She’s rather just down to earth, just doing her own thing but still being polite. Refreshing take especially on a purple cure!

Now onto my issues with it. Starting with a bit too many similarities to Kira Kira such as the transformation pact and the overly energetic, silly theme. I don’t mind silly when it’s balanced out right. For me, it’s a bit too crazy and kinda the issue I had with Cure Princess and sometimes Cure Marine. I get that it’s about motivation VS procrastination. I hope they work it out to teach kids there’s an importance of both. Just teach that you need a bit of balance. Right now, it’s just not. Manatsu kinda gets on my nerves a little bit and then you have Laura...

I kinda have mix feelings about Laura. On one hand, I do relate to her. She’s a little vain and I like the fact that despite being a main character, she’s actually quite selfish! Her whole desire to do this mission is out of hope that she’ll be the next Queen, which apparently, the current Queen isn’t her mom I guess, but she’s chosen to be in line and she seems to want to be Queen simply for the selfish reason to be praised and adored, not cause she wants to help her people. I like this for the fact that it makes her far different from Cure Milky/Lala, whom many have said she was probably a little too responsible for her age, but I digress, Lala/Cure Milky is one of my favorite cures. 

What I’m concern is the fact that Laura will outshine the cures and take over the spotlight especially when she becomes a Cure. There’s no denying this will happen especially since it’s been confirmed the Midseason Cure is called Cure Le Mer, which is her last name. She seems to already outshine the mascot for the series Kururun, who is the first mascot to not meet the lead cure in the first episode because the poor thing barely gets any screen time!

I noticed this especially when the products for the series came out that Kururun is barely in any of the merchandise. I guess after focusing so much on the mascots for three seasons, having at least one be the token mascot to save all humanity, they decided “Eh, lets just make a mermaid the star seller and just have the mascot be squeezed in for those who want a stuffed animal.”

I get that the Midseason cures tend to take over the spotlight anyway, but I don’t always agree. Cure Scarlet and Cure Earth kinda grew along side the other cures. Taking time for both them and another Cure or character to shine as well. With Laura, because she’s already part of the group, hopefully won’t  outshine  the cures, but being how much they merchandise and show her off, it’s looking a bit bleak for anyone who isn’t Manatsu/Cure Summer when Cure Le Mer takes the stage.

I also fear since the series was announce that Asuka/Cure Flamingo maybe too much like Cure Chocolate given how her design is similar. I love her design, her’s is my favorite design of the bunch, but you can’t deny she looks like Cure Chocolate with longer hair. I hope they give her and the other cures more personality and growth especially before Laura becomes a cure.

Other than those gripes, I don’t hate it and do like some things about it. Maybe I’m just used Healin Good’s more relaxed theme that I’m kinda skeptical for this more wild, eccentric series. Maybe it will grow on me in time. Hoping it does since as said, been wanting an ocean themed Precure series with mermaids in it for a looong time!

Without further a due, I give Healin Good Precure 8 out of 10 stars. Won’t rate Tropical Rouge Precure until the end of the season. Seeya in the next review!

8 Stars Level: “Great!”

[mellowrat21]

Rough Changes.

AU where the bullying Sal recieves from Travis, his school crush, gets so hard to him, it almost kills him, so he decides to close some cycles and get the hell out of the situation. Cw: mention of self harm, bullying, graphic violence, strong vocabulary, polyamorous relationships, mild (really really mild) implied sex scene(?, heavily loaded with angst. Fandom: Sally Face Words: 4800 Hope you enjoy it!

The first time Sally went out around Nockfell he used to wear a beanie to hide his bright, long, electric blue hair and wore discrete clothes, but as the time went by and he started hanging out with Larry, Ash and Todd, his confidence slowly started going higher and higher until he started going to school with his signature hairstyle, some hairpins and his favorite clothes, he was a cis guy, and he was bisexual, but who cared, everyone who saw him thought he was a girl and probably a lesbian since he hung out with Ashley so much. And he didn’t give a flying fuck about it, he wouldn’t make an effort to change his voice to make it sound “more feminine” or go to the women’s restroom because he didn’t feel the need to, he was a guy, period. Some people didn’t seem to agree and thought he was a trans guy or something, which was terribly stupid and Sal and his friends would always mock the people that harassed him on the streets “you will never be a real woman, you tranny!” or “no matter how many chemicals are in your body, you will always be a girl!”, people never knew if he was a girl or a boy, and that amused him a lot. But then, when they got to the middle of 8th grade, a new kid was introduced to his class, he was a tall, brown boy with shiny blonde hair, he had what appeared to be a bruise on his left eye but Sal thought it was rude to stare, so he lowered his head, wondering if it was a bruise or a birthmark. The kid got to sit beside him, they didn’t talk at all, if not just the common “hi” from when a new kid gets introduced to the class and you’re the one sitting next to them. Dear diary: Today in class there was a new kid, he is cute, I wanna be his friend and maybe share drawings or stickers or even Pokémon cards, what if he collects them too? I could find the ones I don’t have and he could benefit from mine too. He’s my age, his name is Travis. I think he’s religious, so not cool, religion is boring, I always sleep in religion class. I’m gonna ask him if he wants to sit with me at lunch, he might be lonely since he’s a new boy at school, I wanna be his first friend, I could even introduce him to the group!

Alright, gotta sleep, Sal out.

**

The alarm clock was buzzing, letting Sal know it was time to get out of bed and ready for a heavy Tuesday of school, he hated Tuesdays, no band club, no art classes, nothing, just geometry, math and a lot of history, Spanish and English, oh, and religion too. He got up and went to take a quick shower, it was cold and he didn’t really like turning the heater on, it was too noisy for being 6:40 in the morning the time he showered for school. When he got out of the shower, he put on his underwear and with a towel around his hair he sat on the sink to take care of his reddish scars, that day they were way more tender than usual, it stung and even hurt in some places the q-tip touched with the lotion. He sighed, getting back down from the sink and finding a meowing Gizmo on his bed, who stretched as soon as he saw his owner, asking him to pet him and rub his belly. “Aw hi little guy! Did you get some good sleep?” Sally asked in a tiny voice, thoroughly shaking Gizmo’s big belly, he earned a purry meow from him, who got up and walked out of the room to get food. Sal let out a breathy giggle and started going through his closet, thinking what he should wear; he found a white skirt he thought was really cute, tried it on but found out it was way too short and it showed the scars on his thighs, he didn’t want any more visits to the school counselor for self-harm even though his scars were a combination of cuts made by him and scratches made by Gizmo. He decided to stop thinking so much and just grabbed a pair or ripped black skinny jeans with patches and chains Larry had gifted him for his 15th birthday and a pastel blue gloomy bear t-shirt to go with it, by the time he tied his usual blue converse he thought of grabbing a hoodie, so he grabbed a red zip-up hoodie and threw it on before he went to get some breakfast, some peach slices and Greek yogurt did the job and after a little bit of him styling his hair with his dryer and iron, he went to brush his teeth, he grabbed his bag after putting his prosthetic on and headed out. On the way he found Larry, with whom he went to the bus stop while chatting a little bit. “hey Lar, did you see the new kid?” Sal asked, eager to hear the answer, he was so interested in him, he was excited to know him. “uh yeah, that Travis boy? He’s chill, why? Larry said, munching on a chocolate chip cookie that might be his breakfast, he had his hair tied back in a messy bun which showed he didn’t shower, and those bruise-like bags under his eyes made clear he didn’t sleep either. “huh? What do you mean chill, did you talk to him?” Sal’s eyelids perked up, surprised by his friend talking about his interesting future new friend. “oh hell no, he’s religious, I would never get near a religious guy, they’re scary with all their crazy ‘god loves you’ shit” Larry shivered jokingly, earning an annoyed sigh from Sal, who playfully punched his friend’s shoulder. “he can’t be that bad bro, he’s 14, he probably just uses the cross necklace because his dad makes him.” Sal tried to shrug it off, then the bus came and they got on. While looking for a seat, Sal spotted a blonde head, and when he got closer, low and behold, it was Travis. He was talking to another blue haired kid that attended their school, but they suddenly locked eye contact and Sal smiled to him, only to remember he couldn’t see it, so he shakingly waved until Larry softly pushed him to sit behind Travis and the other boy that was there. “come on dude, you’re gonna fall if you stay there!” Larry tugged on his hoodie, which made him sigh and sit next to his friend, his face red as a cherry and the blush spreading to his ears. That was so embarrassing… “woah woah dude are you okay? Do you have like a fever or something? Your face is hot as fuck and your so re- AH DUDE NOT COOL!!” Larry said worried, getting elbowed on the stomach by his flustered friend who was literally shaking on his seat. “i-I am- I’m okay it’s j-ju-just I-… fuuuuck” Sal stammered out, not being able to form a sentence from how hard he was shaking, then he hear a gasp from the

seat in front of him. “what? Are you- are you a boy?” a flustered, weirded out Travis was looking at him, he looked disgusted and scared. “uh m-me? I- I… yes, I’m a boy…” Sal stuttered again, scared, the first words they exchanged and they were not at all the ones he expected. “what the- ugh, boys don’t wear skirts, you shouldn’t wear that kind of attires, it’s ungodly.” The disgust in Travis’ face was growing with every word and Sal was literally at the verge of tears from how scared he was, even though he had picked a gender neutral looking outfit he got a bad comment, from the boy he wanted to be friends with. Sal tried to talk but the words were stuck in his mouth, when a sudden movement startled him to the point he yelped. “yo, clothes don’t have gender. Go fuck with someone else smartass.” Larry had jerked up from his sit, completely angered and with a threatening stand. Travis got scared himself and he just turned around mumbling something under his breath. Sal was silently crying, little sobs slipped from under the mask his day didn’t start well at all and he had heard what the boy in front of him had mumbled.

He called him a faggot.

His day went on horribly, boring classes, all of them where he sat next to the boy who he had a little crush on, it was all wrong, all he wanted to do was go home and curl up in a ball to cry, and cry and cry. Before lunch started, he got up rather quickly, Travis used the opportunity to trip him and he fell over, he scratched both his knees and it wanted to make him cry again, and it did, he just ran to the restrooms and locked himself in a stall, hugging his legs and silently crying again, what a shit day, he just wanted it to end already. The urge was suddenly unbearable, he needed to get himself off of that situation, he reached to his hoodie pockets and pulled out a little envelope that contained a stainless steel blade he hadn’t used in a while. He then pulled his sleeves up and angrily started making multiple deep cuts in every dimension, that made him sob and gasp, and when he was done, he was just a mess of blood and tears, he reached for the toilet paper and luckily for him, there was, so he quickly put it on the wounds and made some pressure until the blood was almost gone, he pulled the sleeves back down and sighed, he wasn’t relieved, but he wasn’t around Travis so he was good for a while. Then he remembered his next class was religion, fuck no, he was going to the principle to ask him to call his dad, he needed to go home, he couldn’t resist any more time with Travis let alone it being in religion class, fucking religion class, that was the last thing he wanted to happen to him. After he decided he was calling his dad to go home, he got off the toilet and opened up the stall door slowly as to not find any “unwanted guests”. Once he double-checked and triple-checked he was able to get out of there an run to the principal’s office, only to blink and open his eyes back up at a hospital room, surrounded by Larry, Ashley, Todd, Todd’s boyfriend (he didn’t remember his name) and his dad, all looking both worried and relieved. “oh my god, he’s awake!” Ashley almost yelled, rushing to hold his friends hand. “huh…? Wha- what am I doing here?” Sal asked, looking around, noticing his arms were uncovered, showing his fresh cuts and the catheter where the liquids where flowing. “uh, you passed out and Larry found you completely splattered on the ground, your hoodie was soaked in blood so he told us and we rushed you to the hospital. It seemed like you lost a lot of blood, Sally, what’s wrong?” Todd talked, looking concerned. “Salvatore, please tell me you’re not going to start cutting yourself again, I already signed a document to refuse your admission to the mental hospital, I know you don’t wanna go back there and I don’t want you to go either, that place only drugs you and prevents you from everything…” Henry spoke, worry and sadness gushing out of his mouth while he talked. Tears started falling down Sal’s eyes, he was mortified, and now he was in the fucking hospital, he was sure this was a nightmare, he needed to wake up, he needed to fucking- “SAL, WAKE UP!!” Larry said, worried and scared, it had been a day since Sal got out of the hospital and he stopped going to school for a while, Larry was taking care of him every day after school to make sure he was eating and cleaning himself, he was worried his best friend would kill himself if he spent too many time alone and he wasn’t risking losing another loved one. Never again. Sal jerked awake, all startled by his friend’s yelling. “what do you want Larry…” annoyed by his sudden awakening, Sal rolls over on the bed and starts falling back asleep. “I brought you some pancakes and chocolate milk… I know you like them…” Larry sighed out, he was sad to see his best friend like that, he hated it, he fucking hated whatever was going on with him to make him that depressed. Sal sat up and started eating bit by bit, the bandages on his arms were getting loose and a bit gooey, so after Sal finished eating, Larry carried him piggyback to the bathroom to clean him up.

That was only the beginning of the worst four years of his life, days of never ending bullying, depressive episodes, fights, detentions, panic attacks and breakdowns.

**

Last break of their last year of school was nearing in, that was the last day of school before break and they’d be back for a month and a half more of school and everything would be over. Sal was excited because he was going on a field trip with the squad, not knowing those plans were going to be completely crushed by goody two-shoes blonde fuck Travis, who had woke up that last day of school and chose complete violence. That day was living hell for Sal, he never stopped mocking him and calling him names, but Sal just pretended to ignore him, until… “Hey freak, you faceless faggot motherfucker, did your mommy do your hair for you? It looks shitty! Oh wait, no she didn’t. why, you ask? OH YEAH, BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD, SHE MUST BE CRINGING AND CRYING IN HER GRAVE BECAUSE SHE’S ASHAMED OF YOU, ABOMINATION, UNGODLY MONSTER” Travis was following him around, tugging at his hair and pushing his head around, until Sal snapped. He didn’t say anything, just a hit, square in the nose, a loud crack and a scream followed, Sal just kept hitting and hitting until Larry had to physically drag him away, he was frozen, scared, absolutely terrified of himself, of what he did. Luckily it was finally break time and he got to dip out of there, he locked himself at home and ravaged the tree on his backyard, then when he was tired of it, he decided to go back inside and look at himself in the mirror, he then found himself staring down to a pair of scissors on his nightstand. His breath became shaky and anxious, he didn’t want to do it, he made him do it, it was all his fault, all his fault, he fucking did it. “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID, TRAVIS FUCKING PHELPS!” he cried out, yelling and shaking after he looked at himself back in the mirror, his pretty blue long locks were completely gone, leaving him with a mess of hair, he didn’t want it anymore, he didn’t want to look like a girl, he didn’t want to be bullied anymore, he didn’t deserve it. “I am a man, I was born a man, I will die a man, and if I am a man I will fucking behave like one. Did you fucking hear me, Phelps!? IM GONNA BE WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE, A FUCKING GUY, NOT THE UNGODLY FAGGOT YOU ALWAYS SAW ON ME!! ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU GLAD?! FUCK YOU! YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS! ME! THE ONE WHO ALWAYS THOUGHT FONDLY OF YOU, THE ONE THAT THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST SCARED OF ME! The one who… the one… the one who fucking liked you…” Sally couldn’t speak anymore, he was shaking, sobbing and crying out loud on the bathroom floor, just to stare back up and find Larry and Ashley looking down at him, both crying, completely worried and scared of what they were looking at. Larry picked him up as he drifted away, passing out from all the crying. They let him sleep, he was sleeping soundly as the other two were slowly falling asleep by his sides. When he woke up he found them sleeping there, he woke them up too since he had an enormous headache and needed some assistance. “Lar… b-bring me some medicine please my head hurts like hell…” He went to grab onto his locks and all he found was a nest of tangled up short hair, he found himself scared but then remembered what happened before he went out and tears started gushing out of his eyes. “fuck, I really did it, I cut my fucking hair.” Sal unbelievably laughed, a melancholic laugh. Larry got up and Ash stayed there, hugging him softly. “don’t worry, blue, I’ll take you to a salon after you take your medicine and we’ll get that mess fixed, alright?” Ash held his hand, reassuringly squishing it softly. Sal nodded then looked up when he saw Larry pop out of the doorframe holding a pill and a glass of water which he gave him to drink. “So dude… after you get the haircut… do you wanna go get some food and maybe get high at the abandoned house down the hill? I know Ash is out of this because she has to babysit her brother but we can go if you want.” Larry asks rather shyly, trying not to give Sal any strong emotions. “I’ll take the food offer, but no weed for me today, this headache will get fucking worse if I even get near the stuff” Larry nodded, joining the hug

after Sal had swallowed the pill, closing his eyes at the pleasuring hug. After the pill kicked in and Sal was no longer in pain, the three young adults went to the hair salon to get Sal a haircut, then the other two sat back reading awfully boring magazines. Mid haircut, Sal asked the stylist to dye his hair black, he wanted to change himself completely, never look back at himself how he used to be. They finished washing his hair and he went to show his friends who looked completely dumbfounded by the new look, so dumbfounded Sal started to worry. “guys? What is it? Do-does it look bad? Do I change it or-“ he was cut off by a wave of NO’s from both of them, they were both in love with what they saw before them, they rushed to hug him and cradle him, Larry cried, because he loved him, he loved every single piece of his existence and now he looked so different, not happier, but completely different, he was proud of him, of his baby, not blue anymore.

**

The road trip never happened, but they stayed together at Sal’s house the whole break since Henry was away for a business trip that meant a lot of money coming to them afterwards. The three spent the break like a little family, they tried doing all sorts of things, like cooking, hiking, stargazing, burning all Sal’s “feminine” stuff as a symbolic sacrifice (even if Ashley wanted to keep the makeup and some stockings he had) and well, other kind of stuff between the three of them. The day they had go back to school went… not so badly. The squad had agreed not to talk to Sal a lot at school so people thought he was just absent or something, and it worked out until some person started to suspect. “hey, you, uh… Salvatore?” Travis approached the guy shyly, tapping his shoulder. “yeah?” Sal tried to lower his voice to confuse the oblivious blonde even more. “well I wanted to talk to you about something, in private, so… do you mind going with me to the school’s auditorium? I promise it’ll not take long.” Travis stepped a little further from him as to not scare him. “uh yeah sure, why not.” He nodded and followed behind, not too closely, while he texted his partners about it, he was shaking, scared and stressed about what might happen there. Porcelain doll: school auditorium, quick, heading there with Travis, apparently he wants to talk about something.

Ashey<3: oooo someone is getting confessed to!!!

Lar-Bear: be there in 3 minutes, dragging Ash with me if something happens.

Porcelain doll: nice, thanks babe.

Ashey<3: no worries boo ~

Lar-Bear: we love you, Torey.

Sal sighed in relief knowing his boyfriend and girlfriend were going to be around if something bad happened, so he ruffled his hair and jogged a bit, trying to keep up the pace. When they got there, Travis pushed the big doors to the entrance, the dim lighted room was scary enough with the theatre people in it, let alone it being completely empty, except for Ash and Larry who were hiding in the console room.

Travis cleared his throat, he was… nervous? Maybe Sal was imagining it, there’s no way that motherfucker was nervous.

“so… what did you wanna talk about?” Sal spit out rather venomously, stressed and annoyed by Travis’ presence.

“I promise it wouldn’t take long so it won’t. Salvatore Fisher, Sally Face, I wanted to tell you I’m absolutely sorry for what I did to you, all those years of suffering because of my fear of… of… uh… of…” Travis was struggling to take it out, he was disgusted by his own words though he knew he had to say it somehow. “of liking another man, of liking you, Sal… I was taking it all out on you and you didn’t deserve it, I’m working on myself, on becoming a better person for you, because I know how much damage I caused you on the outside, but on the inside, I know I left you a wound that is rotting and I will never know how deep it is.”

“Bro. You waited four years. Four fucking whole years to apologize for something you did to me every day nonstop, the words, the names, the hits, the hair pulling, all of that, and now you’re just telling me that you’re sorry? What do you expect? That I fall on your arms, begging you to hold me and forgiving you right away? Fuck no. Totally not. I will never forget what you did to me, and you know what? Fuck you. You’re the fucking faggot, you’re the one that deserves to get your shit rocked every single day of the rest of your fucking existence. You’re the sissy, little blondie piss baby, what’re you gonna do, huh? Cry out to daddy for him to save you? Only sissies cry, Travis, man the fuck up and piss your pants anywhere else but near me.” Sal gushed every word that came out of his mouth so naturally it was like he had rehearsed that speech a thousand times. He pushed him, making him trip over his feet and fall to the ground before he left, fuming, at the verge of tears, and before he closed the doors of the auditorium he yelled “FUCK YOU TRAVIS PHELPS, EVEN IF I STILL LOVED YOU, I WOULD NEVER TOUCH YOUR FILTHY FLESH IN MY MISERABLE LIFE, Y’KNOW!?” and with that said, he slammed the door behind him, actually hearing rushed footsteps from the other side. Todd and Larry were waiting for him outside but Sal ignored them, he was too busy wiping the tears off of his face as his legs gave in and let him sit on the floor, resting his back against a stack of lockers nearby. Travis barged out of the auditorium, tears desperately streaming down his face, yelling out for Sal. “SAL PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I LOVE YOU WITH MY LIFE AND IM SORRY I HURT YOU SO MUCH PLEASE JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE I PROMISE I’LL BE BETTER!!” Travis was full on begging, he needed him so bad but Todd and Larry stopped him, Larry had hit him square in the face while on the floor Todd kicked him on the side, completely angered to see how poor Sally was crying too, with Ashley by his side hugging him and comforting him, they would never let Travis get near Sal, ever again. Since the principal actually knew Sal and Travis situation, he didn’t end up expelling anyone and didn’t give them detention, Travis, Todd and Larry were given a warning and Ash was congratulated because of how good of a job she did comforting Sally while he was having his panic attack. Finally they got to go home and do their homework and onto the next day.

**

Finally, the school year, graduation and prom had been completely over, and Ash, Sal and Larry were moving out of Nockfell to live together in the city since Larry had gotten a job and Sal was planning to start university with Ash, they were both planning on enrolling in art school even though Sal wasn’t too excited about it since he wasn’t as good at art as Larry and Ashley were, but they both always reminded him that he doesn’t need to be good, he needs to be passionate. That way he would finally get better.

The news of the moving got to Travis, so, as a goodbye present, he left a letter and some candy for Sal in his letterbox, promising him and himself that they would never cross each other ever again. Sal thought it was a cute gesture, maybe in another life they would’ve been together, but in this one, they just peacefully drifted away after all the suffering they felt throughout the years. He went in to smoke some weed, he took the letter with him and read it out loud, he cried a little while, and after that he just burned the letter and went back into the empty house. Ash greeted him with a soft kiss on the lips and smiled. “The moving crew called, they’ll be here in ten minutes. Lar is upstairs saying his last goodbyes to the house.” Ash kissed his forehead and let him go with a playful spank on his butt, making both of them giggle. When Sal went up he found Larry crying, he softly approached him and sat beside him, hugging him tightly.

“hi doll, sorry you get to see me like this, I got nostalgic and I was thinking of how glad my mom would be to know that I found a job, that I have a beautiful loving relationship and that I’m moving out with them, with the beautiful people I love.” Larry sobbed onto Sally’s chest and he howled as soon as the words left Larry’s mouth.

“I’m sure little old Lisa is really fucking proud of you, of me and of Ashey, like, we’re both successful young adults and we’re taking off, we’re living our lives just like Lisa, my dad and Ashley’s wanted, so never doubt it, they’re all pretty proud of you, bear.” Sally reassured him with a big smile, Larry kissed him softly then pulled out with a huge smile.

“good god Torey, I love you so fucking much.” They ended up cuddling on the beanbag they didn’t pack, it was big enough to fit three people there, so they were comfortable, kissing and cuddling there. They started getting heated up and kissing more aggressively. Rough kissing and hickeys, until Ashley interrupted them.

“I knew I was hearing my little porcelain doll moaning, why am I not invited again?” They all laughed and pulled her onto the beanbag, but then again there was another interruption, the doorbell rang, the moving crew was there, they started loading the stuff to the moving truck and the other stuff inside Larry’s truck, then took off, they were leaving, finally leaving that damn town, the memories, the suffering, off to a new life, a better life where they had love to give and receive, wealth and success, so they weren’t sad. Obviously they were nostalgic, but never sad.

They finally got to the new house, it was big and pretty, the furniture looked perfect and the bedroom was cozy and welcoming. They were so tired that day, they just slept through the whole night and the next half of the day.

There their life started, their new life, where the worries were different and the old problems were nowhere to be seen, and they were happy, they were completely free. Free, loved and happy, just how they deserved.

[enixamyram]

Blog Tag

Tagged by @priscilla9993! Thank you!

1. Why did you choose your URL? It's literally just my first and second name backwards. Not much else to it than that. I had a good feeling no one else would have the same URL and it was a dumb thing me and my friends did and laughed about when we were in school.

2. Any side blogs? I have two but I don't really want to name them for shyness reasons, haha! I will say one is a life-type blog that I am sorely neglecting and the others a roleplay blog.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr? I think since 2012, so about nine years. I'm not entirely sure so I went on my blog and searched for what I know is one of my first ever posts (I know it's my first because my hashtags are so messed up on it, haha).

4. Do you have a queue tag? Nope.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? I genuinely have no idea. I can't even remember creating this account, let alone why I did. The only thing I can say is that I know some of the original things I posted/reblogged on it were posts about Vampire Knight and Adam Lambert, but I don't think either of them were actual reasons for my starting it.

6. Why did you chose your icon/pfp? I recently got back into anime and my favourite anime of all time is D.Gray-Man. It's fantastically written and the relationship between the characters is genuinely well developed, including the two characters in my icon. They're somehow enemies who still care for each other at the same time and they have some sweet moments together.

7. Why did you choose your header? It was a beautiful piece of artwork from a friend of mine for Curious Archer (Alice and Robin from Once Upon A Time) along with my OC characters as their children. I was so honoured when she did this drawing based off of one of my fanfics and I still look at it so fondly every time.

8. What's your post with the most notes? Pretty sure it's my Avengers Endgame post where I talk about how much I love the way Tony treats his daughter and how well the films made him a dad without changing his entire character. It's also a post I still firmly stand behind 100%.

9. How many mutuals do you have? I have 8, though admittedly we don't talk much anymore. Especially lately which is entirely on me. I've been struggling to stay in contact with people but I'm hoping to change that and start reaching out more.

10. How many followers do you have? According to Tumblr; 1,387 but I wonder how many of them are abandoned blogs because I do not believe that many people care about my ramblings, haha!

11. How many people do you follow? As of right now; 28.

12. How often do you use Tumblr a day? A lot. I tend to be one of those who clicks on it every half hour just to see there have been no changes, come off, and then check again in half an hour.

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Oh boy yes! I've had many fights with other blogs but the worse one I remember being when I was in the Teen Wolf fandom. There with this girl who, quite honestly, was a vile and nasty bully who harassed me even after I had her blocked simply because I didn't drool over a celebrity she obsessed over. We went back and forth a lot back in the day but thankfully enough time has passed that I don't even remember her blog name and I doubt she remembers mine.

14. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? I think they range from a little annoying to disgusting (talking about the ones saying to reblog or someone you care will get hurt). And honestly, no matter what the cause, topic or reason, the minute I see someone telling me to reblog something I will purposely ignore it. Even if I agree with the whole message it has, I am that petty, I will skip past if completely it tells me to reblog it.

15. Do you like tag games? Yes! They're a lot of fun to do and interesting to see everyone else's answers!

16. Do you like ask games? Again, yes! For some reason I've always loved answering questions.

17. Which of your mutual do you think is Tumblr famous? To be honest I don't know about that. I think a lot of my mutuals are casual bloggers, or mostly on twitter or have gotten fairly quiet over the years. Unless I've got my head in the sand and it turns out I have a mutual others gush over without me knowing, which is entirely possible.

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual? No, not really. I love them as great friends I will treasure but that's about it.

I'm gonna tag: @rollyjogerjones, @lariskapargitay, @iescapedmayday, @superdupermary, @dimplesandcutesmiles, @of-monsters-and-werewolves and @onceuponanovel

[lady-stardust-writes]

Love At First Site | Bakugou Katsuki

Your day was hell from the moment you stepped out of your dorm room, everyone you met up with seemed to coping you for some odd reason which annoyed you because you couldn’t figure why they were doing it.

Only when you stopped to talk to Momo did you learn why. You had walked over to her while she was using a mirror, but as you approached her did you see your eyes were glowing. Your quirk was acting up and you hadn’t known about it.

It explains why everyone was acting weird around you sense your quirk was the ability to install emotions onto people, from sadness to joy you could control it all, well you thought you could but clearly not today as you freaked out about what to do.

Momo knew better then to look you when your quirk was activated so she stared at the ground instead and tried to clam you down, but to no avail as you continued to panic. All she could do was listen to you rant about not knowing what to do about it until a idea came to her mind.

She used her creation quirk to make you a pair of blackout sunglasses and handed them to you as she explained that people won’t be able to see your eyes so your quirk would be affectively useless. You thanked her a ton for them but you still couldn’t help but to worry as you both walked to class.

But now you sat at your desk, looking at the ceiling as you waited for Aiwaza to show up so you could get excuse note to go to Recovery Girl for possible help. The rest of the class was slowly filling the room and when they did you were immediately harassed about the glasses.

“(Y/N)! Take those glasses off right this second. It’s disrespectful to wear them inside.” Your class representative said making you roll your eyes. You turned your head towards him to see him sternly looking at you.

“I can’t. I’m having problems.” You explained not wanting to give away that your quirk was messing up. He opened his mouth to probably demand a more reasonable answer but was beaten to the punch by Bakugou.

“The only problem she has how pathetic she is.” Oh your childhood bully and long time crush, you loved nothing more then your little arguments but you were in no mood to have one right now.

“No right now, Bakugou.” You stated closing your eyes as you tried your best to keep clam. You could hear footsteps coming near you but paid no mind to it, only focusing on your breathing until you felt someone snatch your glasses off your face.

Your eyes instantly shot open as you stood up and glared at who took them. Of course it was Bakugou. who else would have been so blunt as to do it.

“Give them back.” You demanded to which Bakugou ignored. He looked at the glasses, twisting them around in mocking interest.

“What are these for? To make so people won’t be effected by your miserable quirk?” Your eyes weld up with tears. You were use to his insults so his words meant nothing but you were already stressed so to have him add on to it was becoming to much.

You snatched them back which made him glare at you but when his eyes made contact with yours did his anger fade away and was instead replaced by love. You couldn’t help but to feel your hatred for him disappear as you remembered how much you liked him deep down, no matter how much you tried to pretend you didn’t.

You weren’t aware of what had done but you had just projected your emotions onto him. Bakugou mind begin to cloud with loving thoughts of you, he wanted to do so much for you all of a sudden that it overwhelmed him that all he could do was look at you as you placed the glasses back on your face.

He begin to open his mouth to say something but every time he tried nothing would come out, leaving him to look like a fish gasping for air. He couldn’t even say anything as you ran out of the room embarrassed about what happpened.

Bakugou was still standing not doing anything which worried Kirishima He approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder knocking him out of the trance he was in.

“Hey, you alright?” He asked making Bakugou stare at him with a look he had never seen before from his friend.

“I’m in love with (Y/N).” Kirishima was shocked by what he said. He would always rant about how much he hated you to such a degree that even he thought it was excessive so to hear this dumbfounded him.

“Man, I don’t think your thinking straight.” Was all he could say as Aizawa showed up and told everyone to take a seat so class can begin. But even after class started Bakugou couldn’t help but to think about you, he wanted to do everything he could to make you happy, anything to make you love him.

……………………………………………

Some time had passed after you ran out of class that you were now standing line at the cafeteria waiting to be served but your mind still lingered on earlier. You had went straight to nurses office after leaving class, passing Aizawa and telling him it was emergency. When you got there you were instantly seen by Recovery Girl as you were the only student there.

You told her what was happening and she seemed to know right away what your problem was. She then explained that you were stressed, some times when people with quirks like yours get stress it causes them to lose control of their powers, the mind was the most important thing for mental quirks so if it’s taxed with a lot of things then it fail at the most basic task, like not using your quirk.

You had to admit that you were secretly stressed because of a test that you didn’t have time to study for but you didn’t think you were to this degree. Recovery Girl wrote you excusing you from class for a few days so you could get your mind sorted again, you thank her as she also added to drink some green tea as it can help you relax.

You were taking her advice as chef asked what you wanted. You asked for tea along side with your lunch and went to pay for it but was stopped as a hand full of money slid in front of you making you look up to see who’s paying for this for you and to your utter shock it was Bakugou.

“What do you think your doing?” You asked as he dropped the money into the hand of the chef before grabbing the tray for you. He did the oddest thing and smiled at you which was exceedingly rare.

“What does it look like? I’m buying lunch for my future girlfriend.” You were still questioning why he was doing this until you heard the last part.

“Future girlfriend?” You repeated in your head unsure if you heard him right. You were so lost by his statement that you didn’t even notice him grab your hand and lead you to a empty table, were he encouraged you to sit down which you did as your head was in a completely different place.

After a minute you begin to laugh as there was no way that he called you that. You looked up at him with tears of laughter, you just had tell him what you thought you heard.

“Bakugou, you’ll never believe what I thought I heard you said…I thought you said something…about me being your girlfriend…Isn’t that hilarious.” You had to take pauses in between talking due to you laughing but he just sat with his arms crossed and a unfazed look.

“I did say that.” Your eyes widen in horror as he confirmed that you heard him correctly the first time. There no way he could actually mean it, he’s hated you ever since you tried to be nice to him on the playground when he hurt himself and you kissed were it happened. He thought you were mocking him and from then bullied you for a innocent action.

“You don’t mean it though, now do you?” You challenged knowing he wouldn’t pass down a opportunity to make you feel bad about yourself. He looked at you directly where your eyes would be behind the glasses with a determination that you had only seen a few times in your life from him.

“I meant it and want you to be my girlfriend.” He said bluntly making you blush and look down at your tea. He was serious which you couldn’t believe. The boy who’s hated you since kindergarten felt the same way that felt as you did. It’s all you ever wanted but you had to know why he was just telling you now.

“What makes you want this all of a sudden?” You quietly asked, slowly lifting you head back to see him lovingly staring at you. There was something about his eyes but you couldn’t put your finger on it as you waited for his response.

“When I looked into your eyes earlier I don’t know why but after that I realized how much I really love you.” Your heart would be doing flips right now if you didn’t know why he felt this way. Your quirk was cause of all this which added onto the disappointment you already felt.

“No you don’t Bakugou It’s my quirk making you say this.” You told him hoping he would see the sense in your words but he instead got defensive about it.

“Yes I do. Ever since we were kids I’ve liked you (Y/N). It’s reason why I stopped being your friend because you made me too soft.” His response made you sick to your stomach. Your quirk didn’t have the power to make people lie so he must had been telling the truth but you just couldn’t accept it which caused you to stand up and raise your voice.

”After all this time knowing me you aspect me believe that?!” You yelled drawing attention the two of you. Bakugou turned visibly angry and stood up as well, he towered over you slightly but you could care less about it.

“Yes, because I fucking love you!” He replied just as loud as you, but it was obvious that you were going to continue to argue with him, he knew there no way you were going to believe him on words alone so he quickly took hold of your face and kissed you.

Your eyes widen in complete shock as you felt his lips against yours. You were dazed by his actions that you couldn’t think but out of instinct you kissed back. You’ve always wanted this but it didn’t feel right sense you knew why he was doing it.

So without thinking you pushed him off of you which caused him to fall back down onto the bench. He looked up at you with disappointment in his eyes. You stared into them and felt nothing but panic and guilt as you realized that everyone was looking at you.

“I’m sorry.” Was all you could say before running out of the cafeteria, as the stress of this all was eating way at you to much to stay.

………........….....…............

You were sitting outside the dormitory watching the sun go down. The colors in the sky were a beautiful display that distracted you away from your problems. Yet your mind was still swamped from the events that transpired earlier.

You couldn’t figure out if Bakugou really meant what he said. You knew your quirk couldn’t froce people to lie but maybe it was evolving that now it could. You just didn’t have it in you to believe that he actually loved you. You really wanted it to be true but all the reasons point to it not be real.

“I’ve got you to run away from me two times today and it wasn’t even from me threatening you. I’m disappointed.” You heard Bakugou say from behind you, making you slightly chuckle.

“You know I really wish that was the case for once in my life.” You responded as he took a seat next to you. You could feel his arm against yours making you blush from the small contact.

“So about earlier-“ he started but you cut him off already knowing what he was going to say.

“Listen Bakugou I’m sor-“ but just as you did to him, he did the same and glanced over to you.

“Your quirk wore off on me half way through while I was making a fool of myself so I decided to continue telling the truth…and the truth is I like you.” You were left speechless as you stared at him wide eyed. “He really likes me! He really likes me!” Was all you could think about as he waited for your response.

“Wow Bakugou I never knew you felt that way.” You replied not knowing anything else to say, other then how you feel yet you were still trying to take it all in.

“That was the whole point dum-“ He realized what he was about to say and stopped instead looked away from you. “Look you make me weak okay and you don’t even try to which is why I hate you,” He was frustrated which you found cute as he blushed when he was.

“This is why I didn’t want to be your friend, but even after all these years I still like you…so what I’m saying is will you be my girlfriend or what?” He got a little aggressive towards the end but you understood why as his face became a new shade of red.

You couldn’t help but to smile and how could you not, the boy you’ve liked since you were a kid actually felt the same about you as you did for him after all these years.

“I’ve always liked you Bakugou so I can say with no doubt that I would love to be your girlfriend.” You said making him turn his head to you but as he did you grabbed his face in your hands and kissed him with every ounce of passion you could gather, he made a little yelp sound when you did it making you giggle. He instantly started kissing back and planted his hands on your waist as he pulled you closer.

The kiss lasted until you both needed air, you laid your head on his shoulder, breathing heavily. You could feel him wrap his arm around you as the two of you quietly sat together, basking in each other’s warmth.

The sun was behind the horizon at this point leaving the sky filled with colors as the day closes to a end. All you could do is smile as you finally have what you’ve always dreamed of.

...........................................

Requests Are Open.

[homespork-review]

HOMESPORK ACT 5 ACT 1: Mobius Double Plusungood, Part 3

TW: """funny""" sexual and physical assault of a child by another child, extreme bullying, extreme ableism, a very brief discussion of shipping characters outside their canon sexuality.

CHEL: We get some implications of the part of troll culture we ended on last time when a slightly baffled-looking Nepeta, watching through the viewport, updates her SHIPPING WALL. Instead of hearts, some of the hypothetical pairings she’s painted are marked with diamonds. What this means will be explained shortly.

I can’t help but feel it’s slightly creepy to hypothetically matchmake your own friends, but I’m pretty sure the other trolls know at least that the shipping wall exists if not exactly which ships they’re in, and they do live in a society in which it’s stated later that mating is mandatory, so it would indeed be helpful to have at least emergency-doable matchmaking done well in advance and they might appreciate the help.

I’d like to take a moment to note a ship at the bottom row, left of centre; GA/Tavros. Hussie, on his Formspring, later said that GA was “obviously” a lesbian, or anyway was only interested in women, which doesn’t have a specific term for it in troll culture. It’s actually hard to tell going by what’s shown in canon, because she only displays specific interest in girls except for in a complicated case we’ll discuss later, but trolls are supposed to be bi-normative, plus it’s not like the male selection here is particularly inspiring, so, yeah, the evidence we actually see isn't conclusively "obvious". The fandom, knowing this, systematically harass anyone who even muses vaguely about the possibility of shipping her with a boy, even if they don't know about that Word of God. This is why I’m wondering whether the trolls knew about the shipping wall, because if they did, we can presume GA didn’t care. For the record, I’m sex-repulsed ace and have in fact written about.my own imaginary persona fucking (admittedly fucking an opposite sex clone of herself, it was a complicated injoke) and my reaction to someone else writing it would depend on context and reason, so I can imagine her reacting similarly, but not everyone would. A similar thing with a canonically gay male character explicitly on-screen not caring about hypothetical shipping of himself with girls comes up much later; he’s not a troll, but his upbringing was troll-influenced (long story).

BRIGHT: Harassing people over the ships they make content for always baffles me. It’s not like fanart/fanfic for a ship which contradicts canon has any effect on the canon, and playing around with character dynamics (often in a pornographic manner) is a major part of fanfic.

CHEL: On top of all this, gender and sexuality are really shaky concepts to even try to apply to a species which reproduces hermaphroditically. On this side of the fourth wall it’s obviously because Hussie is a not-very-reflective cisgender heterosexual man, and didn’t think about it any further than “girls wear skirts, right?” Plenty of people fanwank up possibilities for how it could happen on the other side. I think we may have to make a “What The Fuck Is Alternian Biology And Sociology” post or two separate from the sporking at the very end.

Discourse discussion over! Next page, we see some of the relevant terminology used in troll culture, though we still don’t get any explanation of what any of the words actually mean, which is a tad annoying for new readers. The context is a discussion between Karkat and Vriska about getting her into the game.

BRIGHT: Specifically, Karkat wants Vriska to get Tavros into the game, leading to this exchange…

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN HATE HIM, IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. CG: IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD PITY HIM. CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PARALYZED HIM. AG: I know. I don't really understand it. AG: It's just a really special kind of h8! It never goes away and it doesn't make a lot of sense. CG: THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME TO BE CONFIDING IN ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF BLACK ROMANCE BUT OK. AG: Oh god, what? CG: I MEAN IF YOU'RE REALLY IMPLYING TAVROS IS YOUR KISMESIS I THINK YOU'RE BRAYING UP THE WRONG FROND NUB. CG: BOTH PARTIES HAVE TO HATE EACH OTHER EQUALLY, I MEAN LIKE TRUE HATE. CG: MAYBE YOUR FEELINGS COME SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO FITTING THE BILL BUT I DON'T THINK HE CAN HATE ANYONE, IT'S WEIRD, HE'S KIND OF BROKEN IN THE HEAD.

Finally, our long-awaited introduction to troll romance!

And the introduction is an effective one. We now know that there’s something called ‘black romance’, that it concerns hate, and that one’s black-romantic partner is a ‘kismesis’. The conversation also flows naturally and fits the characters having it, rather than being an awkward as-you-know infodump, although brace yourselves, there’s one of those coming up. Thirteen is about right for kids starting to have romantic feelings and being confused about it, not wanting to talk about it is pretty normal, and Karkat lecturing people at a good opportunity is absolutely in character.

Karkat goes on to lecture Vriska about the emotions involved in different sorts of romantic relationships, and wow, it really says a lot about troll culture…

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDNESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

CHEL: It’s never really clear if this is just Karkat’s idea of it or if this is how trolls actually work biologically. Trolls do use the word “love” later on, so I always interpreted it as “pity” being a euphemistic term because “love” in such a warlike and oppressive culture could be exploited as a weakness. Fandom has played it with their love actually being based on a weird form of sympathy/seeing the other as needing protection, which is also plausible.

FAILURE ARTIST: I have played with the pity thing before but in retrospect Karkat is the only one who seems to see it that way. Maybe this is all his fake deep teenager view of romance.

BRIGHT: Vriska makes a performance of how bored she is, but Karkat’s on a roll.

CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. AG: Oh???????? AG: I hope you know I already wore out some good note-taking pens today. All the pens. AG: All of them. CG: SEE, MY HATE IS LIKE A FINELY TUNED INSTRUMENT BECAUSE I'M AWARE OF THESE PRINCIPLES. CG: I COULD HATE A HOLE IN PARADOX SPACE ITSELF, STRAIGHT THROUGH TO A NEW REALITY FRESH FOR THE HATING. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, you don't even know how much I'm laughing at this. CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. AG: You aren't reading anything I say are you? You just want to talk and talk and talk. CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

Whew.

So now we have ‘kismesis’, ‘moirail’, and ‘matesprit’ as terms for romantic partners, as well as the concepts of black romance, red romance, and ‘moirallegiance’ as the relationship one has with a moirail. Troll romance is not going to get any less confusing for a while.

If Karkat’s grasp of psychology strikes you as amateurish, there’s a reason for that: He gets all his knowledge from romance movies.

AG: Hey asshole, stop watching movies for girls.

I think that’s another strike against the ‘girls are the dangerous ones on Alternia’ argument. Romance movies, per this exchange, are both female-coded and seen as inferior -- Karkat defends his viewing choices by saying they’re INTRIGUING SOCIOLOGICALLY, but Vriska isn’t buying it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 42 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 33

CHEL: I’m not sure an interest in the workings of romance should be a socially gendered thing in a society where, as it turns out, you have to have an acceptable romantic partner by a certain time or die. You’d think most kids would be trying as hard as they could to learn and put into practice everything they could about it, and you’d also think there’d be better information for them than romcoms.

BRIGHT: Has the mate-or-die part come up yet? I’m not sure when Hussie thought of it.

CHEL: I don’t know if he’d thought of it yet, but it does come up very soon.

BRIGHT: Karkat then moves on to the original reason he contacted Vriska -- he needs her and her mind powers in the game, because he’s just run into a double agent called Jack.

Over on the next panel, Karkat is still talking to Vriska, but he’s glancing back over his shoulder at Jack Noir. His hand is covered in blood, which keeps cycling through a range of colours. The blood, it transpires, is because Jack stabbed him. Karkat is amazingly calm about this.

CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE? AG: This game is so stupid. CG: IN ANY CASE I THINK HE'S PROBABLY ALL STABBED OUT.

This would be ridiculously chill even from someone who isn’t extremely cagey about his blood colour -- and it’s not that Karkat suddenly doesn’t care any more, because as soon as Vriska says she’ll ask Terezi or Jack what colour he’s bleeding, he tells her that he’s out of Terezi’s range, Jack is sworn to secrecy, and Sollux (who’s incommunicado) is the only one who knows how to make Trollian’s viewport feature work. (Given we saw how easy it is to use earlier, I’m surprised Vriska doesn’t try to figure it out herself.)

Over on the next panel, the viewer is now Jack, a few minutes prior to this conversation. Contrary to Karkat’s protestations, Jack stabs him because He's got a pretty sharp tongue and can't seem to keep it sheathed. He is curious when Karkat cares less about the wound and more about Jack seeing his blood colour, which is apparently some freakish mutation. Jack looks at his knife…

CHEL: While it’s not a realistic depiction of the colour, recall that this is the shade of red used in-comic to depict human blood. This reveal probably isn’t a surprise to anyone by now, if you’ve encountered fanart, and honestly it wasn’t a huge mindblowing revelation on my first read before I knew, but I do think it’s a clever little “aha, THAT’S why!” moment. Skilfully done.

It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up.

BRIGHT: Awww. That’s kind of sweet.

This little interchange gave rise to the ‘Stabdads’ fandom phenomenon, where Spades Slick is envisaged as Karkat’s father-figure. In Homestuck canon, it’s dubious how much affection Slick has for Karkat. He seems more irritated by him than anything else, but that’s about on par for how he treats the rest of the Midnight Crew. On the other hand, it clearly makes a massive impact on Karkat. We’ve seen how important blood colour is on Alternia and how insecure he is about his own; his sudden rush of fellow-feeling towards Jack is understandable, even if it does make him way too forgiving about having been stabbed.

CHEL: Karkat and Jack shake hands, and proceed to be in cahoots. Cahoooooooots. Doodling on the defaced parking ticket from earlier, they draft OPERATION REGISURP.

Your whole team executes the plan along the course of its journey, employing espionage, mind control tactics, political sabotage, vicious interrogations and cold blooded assassinations. Everyone does their part and you begin to learn the true meaning of teamwork, as well as this troll disease called friendship.

Yeah, it actually happening is skipped over with one paragraph, but that’s probably a good thing with all the complexity already going on, and we do hear more details about it. First, we’re reminded of the existence and functions of the Queens’ Rings, the magic rings the queens of Derse and Prospit have which give them traits and powers from whatever the players put in their sprites. The trolls have put their lusii in their sprites, except for Aradia, whose lusus died long ago, so she got in the sprite herself. The Queen could put up with getting bits and pieces from eleven hideous monsters (well, ten hideous monsters and one adowable little fairybull thing oh my gosh it’s cuuuute) tacked onto her, but what she absolutely won’t stand for is the other thing Aradia put in her sprite…

She could not stand bearing the visage of the most loathsome creature known to existence. So vile is its appearance, so contemptible its purpose, all depictions of the creature let alone members of its population are permanently banned from any jurisdiction in the reach of her agents. Those of its kind go by many names, and so does the reviled patron god they herald - THE GREAT DETESTATION, KING PONDSQUATTER, SPEAKER OF THE VAST JOKE, or most commonly, BILIOUS SLICK.

Recall that AR thought of the hieroglyphs in the Frog Temple as “illegal pictography”. We’ll find out later why the Black Queen has such a revulsion for frogs, it’s important. But the important part right now is that she took the ring off. At the time of planning it’s in the ROYAL VAULT.

We briefly see a moment in the future of the Black Queen wrapped in rags, just like the human sessions’ White Queen, wandering the desert as the BANISHED QUASIROYAL, and the caption notes the plan was a success.

However, Doc Scratch appears in the desert in front of her, and it’s noted she was given a new purpose. This, it seems, is the origin of Snowman.

FAILURE ARTIST: I would like if there was some canon Homestuck material expanding on this REGISURP plot.

BRIGHT: Same! It sounds really interesting. One example of Homestuck’s idiosyncratic pacing, I suppose -- we spend pages and pages on trivial alchimeter nonsense, but skip over something more meaty.

CHEL: The Red Team work on that, while the Blue Team battle their own session… or so they think. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve all already figured it out, but the trolls hadn’t just yet. They note that their prototypes are affecting the opposite team’s underlings, and the readers are shown Alternia’s two Frog Temples, one near Aradia’s home and the other near Kanaya’s, each with six pillars outside (one seems to have five, but the sixth is hidden behind the building). Superimposed on each other, the pillars make a full ring of twelve.

The truth was it had always been the same session all along. That your teams were not competing, but cooperating toward a common goal. In the more drawn out form of this adventure's narrative, figuring this out would have been a huge deal. We would have been completely blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow. Same session all along. Really? Huh.

This is what Aradia’s been so mysterious about. She knew. We’re provided with a handy diagram, in case we haven’t been able to keep up.

After watching the phrases MOBIUS DOUBLE and REACH AROUND toggle for a few minutes while in a sort of stupor, you finally snap out of it.

(I just noticed, the Blue Team are the Derse dreamers and the Red Team are the Prospit dreamers. Neat!)

The reader’s attention is drawn instead to the Aquarius and Pisces symbols in the top left, belonging to characters we haven’t met yet, and the narration promises we’ll learn about them soon. Drawing attention again to GA’s Virgo symbol, the narration muses about her.

It will probably be quite some time before you get to be her. It could very well be pages and pages and pages.

Naturally, we jump right back to her.

GA’s intro is long, so we’ll take it piece by piece.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

The Sanskrit name for Virgo is “Kanya”, and it’s also the name of a town in Japan. “Maryam” is the Arabic version of “Mary”, as in Jesus’ mother. It may also be a reference to Marya Zaleska, the title character of the movie “Dracula’s Daughter”.

You are one of the few of your kind who can withstand the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, and perhaps the only who enjoys the feel of its rays. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has taken a shining to LANDSCAPING. You have cultivated a lush oasis around your hive, and in particular, you have honed your craft through the art of TOPIARY, sculpting your trees to match the PUFFY ORACLES from your dreams. You have embraced the tool of this trade, which conveniently is the weapon of choice for those who would hunt the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.

Couple things established here; trolls are not only nocturnal but actively harmed by their planet’s sun, and undead beings other than ghosts exist. Said traditional weapon for hunting them is a chainsaw, which we can see lying against her bookshelf, a reference to the Evil Dead movies.

It would be convenient if you actually hunted them, but it is of course far too dangerous, every bit as suicidal as attempting to poach the terrible MUSCLEBEASTS who roam at night. So you indulge in your bright fascination with the grim through literature. Just before the sun goes down and you join your flora in rest, you immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Rainbow drinkers are, as discussed later on, troll vampires. I don’t think shadow droppers are ever expanded on, but they might be zombies or werebeasts. Troll goths, apparently, are the reverse of human goths, dressing in bright colours and staying up in the daytime, which makes sense for a species who can only safely go out at night.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.

Recall that the Mother Grub is required for troll reproduction.

You are a SEAMSTRESS or a RAGRIPPER or a TREETRIMMER or a LUMBERJACK, whichever you care to be, and your unique hive is equipped with a great supply of advanced technology to accommodate your interests. The technology and indeed the hive itself were all recovered from the ruins nearby when you were very young. The seed of your hive was deployed on the volcanic rocks beneath the sand with the assistance of your lusus and her remarkable burrowing skills, and you have lived there happily together since. You know the ruins and the hive and everything here that is not sand and rock originated from the world of your dreams. You also know that one day you will visit this world while you are awake. That day is today.

Like Jade, Kanaya has been awake on Prospit for years, and the technology in question is Skaian in origin, so that’s how she knows what’s going on with the game.

Kanaya is prompted to equip her chainsaw, which promptly turns into a lipstick in a Problem Sleuth reference. Like Jade, she has a Wardrobifier, set to randomise, which suddenly turns her black shirt and red skirt into a red leaf-print dress. She takes out the lipstick.

You can choose between your trademark jade or black. Even though a troll's lips are naturally black. But they can always be blacker, and a lady with a true sense of style knows this.

She goes with green, her dress turns into a blue kimono, and she’s messaged by someone with a fuschia Pisces symbol. This person, named cuttlefishCuller, turns out to be rather excitable, greeting her in all caps and following it up with Glub glub glub glub glub!

BRIGHT: This conversation is pretty sweet, with some friendly joking about CC’s quirk (they stick hyphens in front of their capital Es) and mention of their Collapsing And Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System. There’s another mention of moirails, with CC saying they’ll have to join the game late to keep an eye on theirs.

It also turns out both CC and Kanaya are having some premonitions of what’s to come! Kanaya is seeing visions in the clouds of Skaia, the same way Jade does, but CC hears whispers from a mysterious ‘she’ who needs her voice keeping down. It’s implied to be CC’s lusus, as both Kanaya and CC are aware their lusii are going to die soon.

Kanaya hopes to be with her lusus as she dies, but looks out of the window to find the Virgin Mother Grub has already passed away, apparently of natural causes.

CHEL: The Mother Grub was seen briefly before; it’s a moth-like creature with a huge fat body the size of a bus, with wings too small to ever lift it, horns the same shape as Kanaya’s, and a skull-like head with big lips. The skull on Terezi’s Doomsday Scale was, we can tell now, a Mother Grub, except quite a lot bigger - presumably a breeding Grub.

BRIGHT: Kanaya changes back into her original outfit, and goes down to live up to her end of the bargain… which entails slicing a hole in her lusus with her chainsaw and pulling out a round object covered in spikes the colour of trolls’ horns, called a Matriorb. Kanaya stores it in her sylladex; she’s using a CHASTITY MODUS, which locks each card away, and the key will serendipitously be discovered when it’s time for the card to be unlocked. These modii are getting more and more esoteric.

Kanaya proceeds to have a conversation with her own moirail, Vriska, which we already read earlier.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

Yes, yes it is. (Spoiler: It’s not that confusing once it’s explained.)

Kanaya doesn’t have long to dwell on the conversation, as she’s contacted by caligulasAquarium, someone with a violet Aquarius symbol who she doesn’t seem to think highly of. It rapidly becomes apparent why.

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin GA: Who CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CHEL: Trolls are supposed to come bi/pan as standard, so why does he need to specify “girl crush”? I wonder if Hussie hadn’t decided that yet when he wrote this part, but I’m not sure.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 34

CA’s gender hasn’t been revealed, but let’s not kid ourselves, we know from how he’s talking that he’s a dude. Nice Girls certainly exist but they don’t tend to get portrayed as so whiny in fiction, plus CC comes off as very girly, and that leaves us with six boy and six girl trolls. Balance and opposites and counterparts are a running theme throughout Homestuck. Not that there can’t be nonbinary characters, as some show up in Hiveswap; just that there would most likely have to be an even number of them, split evenly between the groups of players. Fine by me as a nonbinary person with a thing for balance and even numbers of my own.

Also, note that we’ve seen this guy, or at least his hand and foot, before. This is the litter-hater in the bowling shoes.

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very Cooperative GA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

BRIGHT: Oh hey, another troll romance term! ‘Auspisticing’ is the last of the lot, don’t worry.

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent

Funny words aside, Hussie does a good job at laying down context for what auspisticism is here; we now know that it involves mediating between two parties who dislike each other and that it’s a form of black romance. Meshing worldbuilding naturally into the dialogue is something Homestuck does really well at times.

Anyway, CA is trying to get in contact with Vriska because he asked her to make something for him and now she’s blowing him off.

GA: What Is It CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin CA: ok wwell not that obvviously CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

While CA is obviously a douche, there’s something funny about how over-the-top he is about it and how utterly oblivious he is to the idea that Kanaya might have a problem with a device that would kill all landdwellers, although the humour is inversely proportionate to how likely he is to pull it off.

CHEL: Maybe I’m strange, but I think he’s adorable. I get the impression of a small kid trying to puff himself up to adult size.

BRIGHT: There’s also more romance talk, and this next bit is one I find interesting:

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

I’m going to take a step back from Homestuck itself for a moment and talk about kismessitude as it’s portrayed in fandom. People tend to envision it in a variety of ways -- some see it as a BDSM relationship, some as a way of pushing a rival to be better, some as just straight-up hate-sex -- but most depictions show it as something that only affects the two people involved.

Here, though? CA’s talking about kismessitude as something that’s potentially really damn dangerous, to other people besides those involved, and cites history as a backup -- implying it can really be that dangerous, and it’s not just a teenager’s flight of fancy. (Although, that said, CA is clearly using this to try and get Kanaya in a relationship with him, so how sincere he is is questionable.)

CHEL: Later on we do see a little bit of one of the historical cases he might have been citing. We’ll discuss it more then. Also, I do like him saying “sunny” instead of “gloomy”. Makes sense!

Kanaya tells CA none of this matters, and he sneers about the “purity of the bloodline”. That’s an… uncomfortable turn of phrase, especially since he’s speaking to someone not covered by the “purity” standard, but since it applies to aliens and it’s in a society where that’s hammered into its inhabitants it’s not a Problematykks issue. Kanaya tells him it still won’t matter because their race will be wiped out entirely, and his reaction is remarkably understated:

CA: huh CA: wwell ok HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 11

CA says he knows Kanaya doesn’t lie except to herself, surprisingly perceptive for one so puffed-up otherwise. CA might be smarter than he’s letting on? He asks if her clouds told her that; that was the reader’s assumption too, but she says no, she has a different source. Uh-oh. We know what the last source of information was, and it cost Vriska an arm and an eye-sevenfold. CA’s own clouds “hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities”, so we can guess she’s Prospit and he’s Derse. He goes back to nagging her to tell Vriska to talk to him, and when she continues to refuse he poutily steps off.

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

Kanaya denies this, and CA says everyone knows, including Karkat.

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience CA: wwhat CA: wwhoa wwait wwho GA: Never Mind CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today CA: wwhat did she say CA: or glub or wwhatevver

They’re talking about CC, if it wasn’t clear. Kanaya, in a callback to John’s comment to Terezi, facetiously tells him that she talked about Longing To Touch You Indiscretely and That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You. CA, flustered, picks up that she’s teasing him, and she tells him the truth, that CC’s just concerned as a moirail.

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to people CA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

I’m going to comment on this attitude in a bit more detail when we get a clearer explanation of what moirallegiance actually is. CA leaves her with some arc words.

CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

Kanaya heads back to her room, planning to emphatically not meddle but help her friends, and consults her source; it’s fortunately not a Doc Scratch-related one at all. It is, in fact, Rose’s long-forgotten GameFAQ, saved on a server floating in the Furthest Ring, to which Prospit’s clouds directed her. I have to show you the panel for a moment though…

I’m sure there was a way we could see the screen without having it facing away from Kanaya who’s supposed to be reading it.

You can only assume this took place a long time ago. This race is likely ancient, preceding yours by millions of sweeps. Maybe billions! You like to try to imagine the adventures of these players. Were they successful in repopulating their race? Did they manage to protect their matriorb and hatch a new mother grub? Could they hold it together, or were they torn apart by the complex social dynamics, the matespritships and moirallegiences and auspisticisms and kismesissitudes that will surely plague your group along the way? You have little doubt they succeeded with flying colors.

Oh dear, dramatic irony. Kanaya fantasises about a troll version of Rose, thinking she must have been the leader of this supposedly long-ago group.

And yet they appear to have been the only of their kind to have risen to the challenge in a session stacked heavily against them.

Huh. So is this just because Kanaya can’t find more information, or are the four kids in fact the only humans who successfully got into the game? Picking four specifically white-coded kids to be the last of the human race due to supposedly their own competence is… not a good choice. And why the hell couldn’t other people succeed? This strikes me as more of the whole theme of “nobody matters except the people we’re focusing on”. A good lampshading of video game tropes, but in a literary story, that’s the opposite message to everything I’ve ever read, and it’s a creepy one.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 43 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 12 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 35

BRIGHT: I thiiiiiiiink it’s at least implied later on that there are other sessions going, it’s just that each session is a closed loop of players so we don’t see the others...although if that’s the case, does that mean Earth’s getting hit with meteors from multiple Skaias?

CHEL: That over with for the moment, we cut to Tavros’ house as you take your place as the PAGE OF BREATH in the LAND OF SAND AND ZEPHYR. Vriska, his server player, gets down to the business of building up his house towards the Gate…

… entirely out of staircases.

AT: i THINK THIS, iS, AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

Okay, this probably makes me a bad person, but I’m crying with laughter at his expression and that line.

It’s more disability slapstick, but here the point of the joke comes off as being more that Vriska is a jerk and Tavros’ reaction is really understated than any reasonable person being supposed to assume Tavros is wrong for not being able to climb stairs. Emphasis on “comes off as”, unfortunately. I’m still gonna give a Problematykks point, and further experience with Hussie’s attitude to disability has soured the joke somewhat, even in just the next couple of pages.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 44

BRIGHT: Vriska tries to get Tavros to crawl up the stairs, first by telling him that he promised not to be boring anymore and then by saying that she’s trying to help him get stronger. She caps off the rant by demanding that he apologise.

AT: oKAY, AT: tHANKS, i GUESS, AT: bUT, AT: sORRY FOR WHAT, AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass! AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED, AG: Yes. AG: Say you're sorry. AT: i DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, oR bORING, AT: bUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, gIVEN, AT: uH, tHE CIRCUMSTANCES, AG: 8ullshit! AG: It's something called 8asic decency and civility you fudge8looded 8oor. AG: Now get down on your useless wo88ly knees and apologize. AT: nO, i DON'T WANT TO, AG: >::::O

Vriska, what the fuck.

Tavros is really great here. He’s obviously not comfortable fighting with Vriska, and repeatedly tries to redirect her into building him ramps instead of engaging. But, at the same time, he holds his ground and doesn’t let her push him around, and won’t let go of solid hard reality in the face of Vriska trying to emotionally manipulate him.

FAILURE ARTIST: And yet people still call him a wimp.

BRIGHT: Vriska retaliates, because of course she does, by grabbing his wheelchair with her cursor and shaking it about. If Hussie left it at that, everything would be unobjectionable, at least in terms of narrative voice. Instead, well…

Now she's done it. She has awoken the mighty inner fury that is... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CHEL: It just occurred to me to mention that the name Rufio comes from a character in the movie Hook, the leader of the Lost Boys after Peter Pan left, played by Dante Basco. Tavros’ mental image of him is a reference to that character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dante Basco did read Homestuck, with hilarious results as we will see.

But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.

BRIGHT: Eurgh.

Let me be clear: Tavros having no further recourse to deal with Vriska’s abuse beyond his visualised self-esteem is a problem for the character, but it’s not necessarily a narrative problem per se. Escapism is a thing. You could get a decent character arc out of Tavros learning better ways to deal with harassment he can’t escape. It is a narrative problem when the narrator mocks it and makes him out to be pathetic for even trying it.

CHEL: I’d consider this to be just Tavros’ own thought process, but, sadly, this kind of narrative sneering at him carries on throughout Tavros’ presence in the comic and the fandom seems to buy into it. Tavros gets a lot of hate for reasons which mostly boil down to him being a male abuse victim; there’s a feeling that he should “try harder” to fight back, despite him being physically disabled and a member of a caste out of sight beneath her on the social ladder and legally permitted to be killed by her on a whim. Might that count as a point for WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM, for Huss and the fandom not taking the social dynamics into account for why Tavros can’t defend himself?

BRIGHT: I don’t know if it’s fair to count against the fandom when we’re reviewing Homestuck proper, but we can definitely count against Hussie!

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 36

CHEL: It’s also notable that the common fandom interpretation of Tavros is as Hispanic-coded, at least partly due to his Spanish username, and of Vriska as white-coded. That’s probably not helping.

Since Hussie appears to expect us to agree with Vriska that this is funny, I’m adding another to these as well.

ALL THE LUCK: 2 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 45 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 3

BRIGHT: What’s weird about this whole mess is that Hussie doesn’t — yet — try to say that Tavros should be trying to get stronger; his disability is fully acknowledged. I feel like this kind of mockery is usually accompanied by the attitude that disabled people should just get over their disability, but Hussie’s clear that Tavros can’t. Which means he should do...what, exactly?

CHEL: Not have let Vriska disable him in the first place, presumably. Never mind that, you know, she has mind control powers so he didn’t really have a choice in that either. That is, however, an argument Vriska fans actually make. Apparently some of them actually blame him for not flying when she threw him off the cliff, which… well, unpowered flight is a thing that can happen in the comic but he certainly couldn’t do it then.

BRIGHT: ...Apparently I retain the capacity for surprise at how awful people can be. The fuck?

Back in the comic, Tavros fortunately does have one other means of recourse. Back in her hive, Vriska is suddenly prodded in the back with a flying toilet, courtesy of Kanaya.

GA: Just Presenting A Floating Reminder That Tavros Will Need Plenty Of Inclined Surfaces For His Ascent AG: That's silly. I made so many ramps, you wouldn't even 8elieve it. AG: I specifically decided I wanted to 8uild something ugly and 8oring. It is now the land of ramps and yawns. GA: Hes Reported Otherwise AG: That lousy snitch! May8e I should take his computer away so he can't go crying to fussyfangs anymore. GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head AG: No, don't! GA: Im Still Learning The Interface GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment AG: I'm only trying to help him. ::::( GA: Think Of Another Way To Help

CHEL: Did I mention Kanaya is my zodiac troll? I can only long to reach her heights of awesome. Of course the ability to levitate toilets would kinda help.

BRIGHT: Vriska heads down to her treasure vault and retrieves a pair of ROCKET SHOES. The captchalogue code for these is ‘PSHOOOES’, which amuses me greatly. Vriska sends the code to Tavros, who combines it with the code for his wheelchair to create a flying wheelchair. Now that is a good use of alchemising!

CHEL: Awww!

Tavros flies up to the Gate, and we cut back to him later on, leading an entourage of communed-with imps and ogres to move obstacles and help him solve puzzles. Using his skills well, I see! In another set of ruins the imps load jigsaw pieces of rock into a frog-shaped alcove,

Things, however, don’t continue to go so well, because Hussie hates this poor kid. I do not mean that facetiously. Statements he’s made elsewhere imply he has a hell of a lot of contempt for several of the characters he created, which I don’t understand at all. We’ll go into this after Act 7, but I get the sensation that the characters are merely tools to show off the complexity and meta references, which are the parts he really cares about.

BRIGHT: It’s not unknown for authors to dislike characters they wrote; the great Terry Pratchett reputedly hated his character Rincewind. The key difference is that in Pratchett’s case, the audience couldn’t tell. Hussie, on the other hand, tends to make his disdain pretty obvious, to the detriment of the story.

CHEL: That’s a point. Conan Doyle grew to hate Sherlock Holmes, too. He didn’t, however, set up situations solely to shit on Holmes in his books.

BRIGHT: I think that’s the key. I’ll forgive a multitude of failings as long as the author seems to be treating the characters fairly. That doesn’t mean that good things have to happen to them — plenty of bad things can happen and I’ll enjoy it — it just means that the author has to...respect how the character feels and would behave, I guess.

Of course, respect is Hussie’s antithesis, so.

Also, nothing so far has shown Vriska to be anything other than a (granted, entertaining) bully. I wasn’t around while Homestuck was updating, so I’m not sure when her fandom took off, but it has to be later than this, surely?

CHEL: I don’t know. I wasn’t around till about mid-Act 6.

What was I on about? Oh yes. Tavros is interrupted by Vriska again, who bitches him out for doing things the boring way and seeking the boring lore.

AG: The minds of your consorts are very soft and impressiona8le. AG: As easily manipul8ed as all those imps you've 8een 8ossing around. AG: I have picked apart their tiny little lizard 8rains and seen through all the smoke and mirrors of their riddles. AG: I have gotten to the truth they are guarding. The great 8ig mystery 8ehind this planet. And you know what it is, Tavros? AT: nO, AG: It's 8ullshit! AG: Meaningless, 8oring, fanciful 8ullshit wrapped in flowery poems to keep you guessing. AG: It all leads to one thing anyway, and that's what we should put our attention on. AG: Real gamers cut to the chase. They power through all the nonsense and go for the gold. AG: They cheat, Tavros. AG: It is time you learned to start cheating.

Interesting theory. Tavros thinks befriending his monsters instead of killing them is cheating, and Vriska grudgingly agrees but is annoyed he isn’t killing anything. She claims to have designed a better and more challenging quest for him; he asks after her own quest, and she says she has time because Kanaya’s busy.

AG: Which is just as well 8ecause I was starting to get nannied HARD. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 37

Strange word choice for a species raised by animals, but okay. Vriska sends Tavros a map to the next Gate, and he sets off in his little rocket chair. Little does he know.

You proceed through what seems to be your second gate, into the LAND OF MAPS AND TREASURE. The THIEF OF LIGHT lies in wait.

In a callback to our last meeting of Breath and Light players, Tavros crashes through Vriska’s wall and is left hanging upside-down in the rocket chair from the large cobwebs across the room, while Vriska sleeps on a pile of broken eight-balls. Doesn’t look comfortable, but trolls rest in worse places later. Vriska wakes, and Tavros falls head-first onto the floor.

Here is where it gets incredibly uncomfortable, and we have to show it in detail to assign points properly and so that there’s no ambiguity about what’s happening, so if you have any sexual assault, ableism, underage, mind control, or victim-blaming triggers you may want to skip this part. No clothing is removed but it’s very unpleasant to read and the attitude toward it is worse. Seriously, this is Taklamakan Zoo levels of bad.

(This heading below’s not part of the comic, I just put it there so you can skip. The sequence ends with the piece of fanart of Kanaya looking at the sideways screen.)

~*THE ASSAULT STARTS HERE*~

Vriska sits up. She’s wearing a very short strappy white Tinkerbell dress with her sign on it, and what look like over-the-knee socks, a commonly fetishised style of clothing. I remind you these characters are supposed to be thirteen years old. The dress is also the same as the one worn by the fairy in the artwork on Tavros’ desktop background. I don’t know if Vriska had seen that or not.

FAILURE ARTIST:

To be fair she’s just in an actually-more-modest version of what Peter Pan’s sidekick/love interest wears and the socks come off as more dorky than sexy.

Oh my! It appears Pupa Pan himself has flown through your window while you were asleep. How exciting! Surely he is here to take you away on the adventure of a lifetime. He is more dreamy and heroic than you ever imagined. But what's this?? It seems the legendary Boy-Skylark has misplaced his shadow. He is looking EVERYWHERE for it, to no avail. He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all. He clearly needs your help.

CHEL: Vriska is prompted to Help Pupa find shadow, and approaches Tavros with a nasty-looking grin on her face, while he lies on the floor, gritting his teeth in noticeable pain.

Pupa! You truly are a silly goose. Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?

Charming. Vriska proceeds to kick him in the head, or at least nudge him with her foot, while he lies unresponsive.

Of course, the secret to reuniting with your shadow is to get up and walk around. And play and dance and frolic! Your shadow will surely join in your gaiety. But it appears Pupa has lost the use of his legs. There will be no frolicking in this young man's future. ::::( Unless...

Everyone knows that just a pinch of SPECIAL STARDUST along with a happy thought will allow any boy to get up and walk again. Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy. The fairy girl then helps him walk again, and in return, he teaches her to fly, even though she probably already knows how to fly. Because she's a fairy. They fly out of her window together, and have magical adventures for many sweeps thereafter. To be honest, you hardly know a damn thing about Pupa Pan. But you do not care.

Pupa remains as pathetic and useless as ever.

FAILURE ARTIST: The story just keeps mocking Tavros for being disabled.

CHEL: Not to mention for being interested in fairies. Because how dare a boy have a gender-nonstandard interest, or a young teenager enjoy whimsical escapism from an increasingly horrible and guaranteed-to-be-short life.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 39

I might be projecting because the fandom has made me loathe her, but it honestly comes off like Vriska dressed up like this in the first place less to seduce Tavros and more to make sure she thoroughly ruined his favourite thing to hurt him further, especially if the narration is supposed to be things she’s actually saying to him.

The stardust did nothing! Probably because it is just glittery powder with no magical properties whatsoever and is basically bullshit. Because in case it wasn't clear, magic isn't real, and neither are miracles. OR It could just be that Pupa has failed to have a happy thought! Your duty is clear. You will have to MAKE him have happy thoughts. Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

He certainly doesn’t seem to be having happy thoughts now. Notice his expression, what we can see of it, looks terrified, he’s trembling, and let’s recall that he’s paralysed from the waist down. Even if he wasn’t, she’s of a far, far higher caste than him, legally permitted to do whatever she wants to him, including killing him if he tries to resist. It’s kind of gone back and forth on, but higher bloods are a few times stated to be a lot stronger than lower bloods, and if they work like humans, they’re in puberty right now, a time at which human girls tend to get taller and stronger sooner than boys. Again, it’s gone back and forth on, but a common interpretation is that female trolls are stronger than male trolls in general and/or have the social power advantage. Let’s also remember that, even if none of those factors apply, Vriska has mind control powers. There is no point here at which Tavros has the advantage, nothing he can use as leverage on her. She can do whatever the hell she wants, and she does.

BRIGHT: We’ve also been explicitly shown that Vriska has little to no respect for anyone else’s autonomy if she finds it inconvenient, and that Tavros is her favourite punching bag, and that his ability to stand up for himself when she gets going is extremely limited.

CHEL: Despite the odds stacked against him, Tavros struggles against the kiss forced on him, and when Vriska pushes him back, doesn’t respond with anything but a look of horror, though she appears to expect him to, as a flickering heart-spade with a question mark over it appears between them. I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be the thought process of him or her or both.

Vriska hurls him onto the floor with some force...

… and activates her mind control, causing little hearts to light up in Tavros’ eyes.

BRIGHT: Vriska has used her mind-control powers on Tavros before, and when it happened she walked him off a cliff. There is basically no way that her doing it again isn’t going to be a traumatic experience for him, above and beyond the inherent horror of losing control over one’s body.

I’m inclined to think that forcibly altering his emotions is worse, though. Being paralysed was bad enough, but Tavros knows what happened and he knows how he feels about it. Making him fall in love with her is just…on one level, it’s a horrible assault on his autonomy as a person, and on another level, it’s tailor-made to make him doubt himself and believe the encounter was something he wanted.

FAILURE ARTIST: I hadn’t thought that he might now consider the encounter as consensual, which would explain his later reaction.

CHEL: Tavros paws at her legs, making kissy faces, and she looks vaguely concerned. Note the background still depicts wavy blue rays coming off her, showing her power is still active.

Looking defeated, she drops the control and dumps him on the floor again.

I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be thinking in this last panel. Is she feeling guilty? Is she disappointed that he didn’t like her under his own power? Has she just decided he’s too useless to be worth the effort? Any could be true.

BRIGHT: I read that as disappointment that even when he ‘liked’ her, he didn’t act the way she wanted. (And the way Tavros acted is kind of disturbing. ‘Mindlessly pawing at someone’ is not what I’d expect from him if he was legitimately attracted to someone.)

FAILURE ARTIST: The common interpretation these days was she was realizing she wasn’t into boys which okay that’s good for her but she should feel more bad about molesting him.

CHEL: That also makes no sense, because she shows interest in multiple boys later.

I’m also not entirely sure if Vriska had the intention of actually raping Tavros here (in the standard way, I mean, as one could argue that mind control is a form of rape), or just making out with him. The fact that she dressed up in vaguely fetishy clothing isn’t making it look good, though. Yes, she’s very young, but traumatised kids in particular have been known to lash out sexually like that. It’s a way of reasserting personal power, and I imagine it would be more prevalent in a society with no sapient adult supervision. While there are mitigating circumstances involved in their social situation and Vriska not really having ever had a chance to learn better, that doesn’t make this not a horrible thing to do, or not traumatising for Tavros.

BRIGHT: The clothing could potentially be down to Vriska wanting to look ‘adult’ without fully understanding why it looks adult. That does come up sometimes with teens — they want to experiment with clothing because that’s how adults dress, not because they want to look sexy, or they might dress a certain way for dates because that’s the social model they have for How Dates Work.

And if I read it like that, this basically looks like Vriska having the date equivalent of a dolls’ tea party. Which says volumes about how she views Tavros’s autonomy.

CHEL: Good point. Though honestly it would say volumes about same either way!

BRIGHT: I said earlier that Vriska is better than Equius at recognising when other people’s desires conflict with hers, and she is, but that doesn’t mean she respects those differences. She just recognises that they’re there, and overrides them. This is a prime example of Vriska viewing Tavros as something between a chew-toy and a prop. First she kicks him around and terrifies him, then she expects him to be able to get over those emotions at the drop of a hat and respond to her advances — and, moreover, she wants him to respond in a certain way, which Tavros has zero way of knowing. This is the first time she’s shown that sort of interest in him, unless her earlier behaviour was the Alternian equivalent of pigtail-pulling.

...I think maybe that was in fact Alternian pigtail-pulling. Or at least Vriska’s version of pigtail-pulling.

CHEL: That’ll actually make more sense, once we explain what the spade symbol means.

Okay, how many counts does this cover?

ALL THE LUCK: 12 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 31 CALL CPA PLEASE: 26 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 55 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 13

It also occurred to me during this sequence to think again about how Karkat contemptuously swears at and hangs up the phone on the injured Tavros. This, at first glance, seems to be very much at odds with the “cranky but caring” impression we’re supposed to have of Karkat… but it fits precisely with Hussie’s opinion of Tavros and how pathetic he is for allowing a much more powerful person to permanently disable him. I know at the moment it looks like I’m not separating the character from the author, but it’ll become clear as we go that that is what he thinks.

IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 14

Why didn’t we start a FUCK YOU, HUSSIE count?

BRIGHT: It would have ended up longer than all the other counts combined.

CHEL: The actual assault is over now, but there’s one more picture of it. The ramifications must continue to be discussed, so tread cautiously. The actual act is over now, though.

Said ramifications come pretty quickly. Kanaya, having dealt with getting herself into the game and prototyped her own lususprite, decides to check on Vriska.

Ideally she has not gotten herself into too much trouble. And ideally the dramatic irony has not gotten so thick you could draw a dotted line on it with a tube of lipstick and cut it in half with a chainsaw.

Of course, she sees the exact moment Vriska kisses Tavros.

(Fanart source has now been deleted, sadly.)

~*THE ASSAULT ENDS HERE*~

Humorous art aside over, let’s watch Kanaya’s reaction in more detail. She angrily looks at a copy of the Tinkerbell dress, which she presumably sent the alchemiter code for rather than the actual item to Vriska, hence why she still has it.

So THAT'S why she had you make this dress for her??? And you just went along with it like a sucker. Argh, you are such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Karkat, Kanaya is presented as the caring one, the protective one. The “mom friend” of the group. And yet, she looks at this, in which Tavros is clearly frightened and struggling, and her reaction is to be mad that Vriska didn’t want to wear the dress for a date with her. I’m not sure whether this says more about Hussie’s opinion of Tavros or the social system of Alternia or both, but it certainly says a lot.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 56 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 13 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 15

BRIGHT: Kanaya has had to corral Vriska on Tavros’s behalf already! Possibly more than once! She has all the information to realise that this is abusive, even leaving aside Tavros’s reaction! Sure, teens can be self-centred, but even so this is egregious.

CHEL: Kanaya’s Grubsprite comforts her and she throws the dress out the window.

Being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands.

Yes, I’m sure Tavros thinks so too.

Charles: "I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand he had a very terrible childhood."

Klaus: "I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now."

-A Series of Unfortunate Events

[a-student-out-of-time]

(Mod, can this anon just say I really appreciate how much self-control you have? When that Haiji defender showed up on your blog, you just said "get off my blog". This anon really appreciates how you didn't scream at them, accuse the person of secretly being a pedophile themself, tell them to kill themself or to choke on broken glass, encourage your followers to harass Haiji fans, etc. Today's generation of pop-culture-fandom could learn from your example.)

//Now that you bring this up, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to talk for a bit about fandom toxicity.

//There is, in a way, a feeling of entitlement and ownership when it comes to characters or properties. That, because these things hold a special place in our hearts, that they belong to us and that our interpretation of them is the correct one and that anyone who disagrees is wrong.

//So when there comes creative decisions or opinions made by others with those properties, even ones by the actual creator of the work, that don’t match up to our own, there can come a feeling that these are a direct attack against us as well. With that comes a lot of the worst parts of fan culture: harassment, insults, bullying, threats, and even actual attacks on these people.

//But the truth is, these people were probably just expressing their feelings and emotions about the same work, because they enjoy it too. They were never trying to directly or indirectly attack you, they just simply had a different opinion. It’s important to keep that in mind: the people you talk to online are human beings with thoughts and feelings of their own, and those feelings are rarely going to be the exact same as yours.

//An unfortunate part of the problem are the inherent psychological biases that we all have, and confirmation bias especially. Where we’ll focus on information we agree with (even if it’s factually wrong) and ignore anything that conflicts with that (even if it’s factually correct). This goes beyond just fandom, but I’m going to stay on topic.

//There is not a single human being at any point in history who hasn’t been guilty of these biases. You, me, everyone you’ve ever met, we’ve all done it at one point or another. The issue is when these biases get us to leap toward intolerant conclusions about those whose viewpoints we disagree with. “You don’t have the same opinion as me, so you must be stupid/evil/bigoted/brainwashed/etc.”

//It can be so easy to draw those conclusions about people, especially when the arguments aren’t well-structured and you’re in the heat of the moment. But let’s be real: we’re never all going to 100% agree on everything. And that’s okay. Hell, if we did, that sounds more like a dystopian nightmare scenario where free thinking has been suppressed.

//And thinking is an activity I’ve always encouraged. Toxicity is ultimately at odds with critical thinking, where any dissenting opinion is hunted down and suppressed and anyone who speaks up is bullied into silence. That is not what my blogs are about. It does kinda make me sad that I’m being praised for not being a toxic asshole, because I don’t really feel like that’s praiseworthy. I want that to be a normal thing.

//Here’s an experiment: take your favorite DR character and ask yourself why you like them. What is it about them that drew you to them? Their personality? Their backstory? Their role in the narrative of whichever game they were in? When you have those reasons in mind, consider the following: what about this character is flawed? What about them is inherently dark or troubling? Why might someone else dislike them?

//And then work backwards from there: take your least favorite DR character and ask yourself why you dislike them. Then find all the ways why someone else might like them without diving straight into intolerant conclusions. Look past the surface and dig a bit deeper to see what exactly makes them tick.

//That’s not me asking for essays, that’s something I want you all to consider for yourselves.

//I’ll be the first to admit I really disliked Junko. I didn’t consider her all that interesting of a character or a villain, and she just cames off as very annoying and overblown to me. I considered everything that she sets in motion to be far more interesting. 

//I have, however, seen a lot analyses and in-depth looks at her as a character and after going through those, I came away with a lot of insights I didn’t even consider before. My opinion hasn’t changed too much, but I can definitely see (DR3 notwithstanding) all the way she can and does make for a interesting villain.

//So the takeaway is, even if you don’t end up changing your opinion, you can at least say “I still disagree, but I’ve gained some perspective into why someone would feel this way and I’m better for it.” Critical thinking does not mean you have to give up your opinions, and there does exists a very wide middle ground between total agreement and toxic harassment.

//But critical thinking is at odds with the idea that it’s best to retcon, ignore, or fabricate details of canon that we disagree with to justify those opinions. This is why I got so mad at the anon who claimed Haiji was talking about fictional underage girls, something that is not at all substantiated by evidence in the game. You can’t simply ignore these details because you don’t like them.

//Critical thinking is about being able to either say, “Okay, I fully acknowledge that these details about this character I like are problematic and I understand why it might upset people, but they’re not the sole or central reason why I like this character”, or “Okay, after careful analysis, maybe I was wrong about what I originally thought about them.”

//Me personally, I look at these details and ask “Okay, but how can we build off of this? Can we tell a new story with it?” For example, while SDRA2 Chapter 0 left a bad taste in most everyone’s mouths, I didn’t want to just retcon it. Instead,  thought Kokoro being regretful over her actions and wanting to reconnect with her daughter would make for a very interesting story.

//But the most important part of this that I’d want anyone to take away is that it’s important to listen to others and consider their viewpoints as well, and again without immediately jumping toward conclusions and talking over them before they make their case. Listen to people, ask them questions, and remember that on the other end of the conversation is another human being with thoughts and feelings of their own.

//Now, there is that invisible fear that “understand that others have different opinions” is shorthand for “just accept that some people are into r*pe/inc*st/p*dophilia and let them make content of it.” I promise you that is not at all what I’m suggesting here. I hope my previous angry rant about Haiji cemented that fact.

//What I am saying is that we need to be acutely aware of both the thoughts and feelings of others and those of ourselves. That it’ll be better for us as well as others to apply critical thinking and careful insight into our opinions, not taking them as inherent fact simply because we hold them, and understand that others will not always enjoy the same content the same way we do.

//And most importantly, being able to separate those who are willing to listen vs. those who’ll prefer to stay toxic, bitter, and unmoving is a very important skill to learn. There is no shame in withdrawing yourself from any sort of talk with a person who upsets people for fun, and it will be better for your health in the long run.

//Finally, let’s be real, what’s gained from arguing with people online? People who you never have and probably never will meet? Not much. But if someone is not going to budge and only wants to share their toxicity with the world, it’s better for you to simply walk away, block them, cut yourself off, and move on. Their toxicity is their deal, and it doesn’t have to be yours.

//But I also think there are people who are willing to listen, who may simply not know that they’re engaging in things that are hurtful or toxic. And some frank but kind insight as to why can change their opinions. A willingness to listen, not to just defend their position, is what’s important.

//I’ll be completely honest here and say I was in that position once. I’ve said and thought some awful things before, and I feel so fortunate that I met the right people who stopped me from going down that road before I got too far. Not with hostility or arguments, but honest and kind discussions and insights.

//As fans and as people in general, we can, should, and need to be better. That’s why I don’t want my space to be full of hate and bullying, but just storytelling and creative discussions, where people are welcome to express their opinions, and even if we disagree, that’s alright. We’ve at least gained some insight into each others’ views ^^

//Compassion and wisdom are what I consider the most important virtues, and being more critical of ourselves is how I think we can solve the issue of fandom toxicity. That’s what I’ve tried to apply here. My goal is just to tell a good story for you all to enjoy here, and I appreciate each and every one of you who’ve followed, liked, reblogged, or even just considered any of my posts worthwhile to read

//And if you made it all the way through this, I hope you’ll consider everything I’ve said here as well. You can’t change every single toxic person out there, but you can change yourself for the better and encourage others to do the same.

[bigskydreaming]

Idk guys, could people maybe just try taking me at my word every now and again? I mean, what exactly is it that people think I get out of these posts?

Is it popularity? Do you think I make these posts to be popular? Because I took several months upon moving into Batfandom a year or two ago before actually making these kinds of posts more than once in a blue moon, and I was waaaaaaaaaaay more popular initially than I am now. I lost literal scores of followers once people realized this is a Thing for me, and could probably get most of them back if I just....stopped. Given the number of people who seem to follow and unfollow me regularly, as if just to see if I’m ‘done yet.’

So.....no, its not about popularity.

Is it about note counts? Do you think I make these posts to get notes, by being controversial, or with ‘the anti’s’? Because if you look through my archives you’d see that without variation, I consistently get FAR less notes on these posts that I do compared to like....literally ANY other content I post. When I write a Batfandom meta indepth, its rare for me not to get hundreds of notes on it. When I write a post like the last one examining survivor-related topics in depth, its rare for me to get up to even fifty notes. 

So......no, its not about note counts.

Is it about garnering sympathy/pity? I do rely on donation posts sometimes, and I might see gains there due to people having sympathy or pity for me that they’re afraid to tangibly express online due to the controversial nature of many of my posts, but that might show up there, right? Well, sure, except for the fact that....my sob story is in no way reliant on these more controversial posts to exist, and in fact would be a hell of a lot more compelling when it comes to attaining donations if I DIDN’T add in all these other posts that are blatantly alienating to a lot of the people who were like “you had me at abuse/incest/rape survivor who needs major surgery as an end result of his gay bashing way back in college but then you lost me when you said I am a literal rapist for reading and writing specific fics like wtf dude?”

So.....no, its not about garnering sympathy/pity or even donations.

Is it about just being interesting or standing out or getting attention? Do you think I make these posts like a broken record because I have nothing else to talk about? Because uh, I have my pet topics but I can literally write essays on pretty much ANYTHING and everything about Dick Grayson or Scott McCall or Bobby Drake or plenty of other characters. And again, like I mentioned above, consistently get WAY more attention and engagement from people on any of those. I don’t need even my survivor status to be interesting, thanks, and I don’t even actually care all that much about it at the end of the day, because anyone who’s followed me for any length of time knows I would be perfectly happy to talk for a week straight about my OCs or original content even, as long as I have even just one or two people engaging with it, lol. 

So....no, its not about being interesting or getting attention.

Is it about being a know-it-all, regarded as having certain expertise or being an authority on a certain topic? If so, that’d be a weird choice given how often I talk about how being a survivor is NOT a monolithic experience, and the fact that I center myself in my posts on the subject is not because I’m presuming I speak for everyone, but rather specifically to keep my views and experiences tailored specifically to ME and my own experiences entirely....the only viewpoint from which I AM qualified to speak with authority. I don’t post what I post the way I post to be viewed as the be-all and end-all of surivor views, and I don’t make it about myself and my experiences to wave my survivor credentials around and shut down opposition - if I did, it’d be blatantly ineffective given the amount of anon hate I get and derailing my posts experience, most of the time using information I’ve freely offered up in my own posts in an attempt to trigger or silence me. I post the way I post in these posts for one reason only, usually to my own detriment - I’m simply trying to humanize a topic that far too many people IMO deliberately try to view as abstract and hypothetical in order to distance themselves from the real issues. Not to mention like, I know a great deal about a lot of things? There aren’t many other former stuntmen or actors posting in this part of the internet that I’ve seen, I could focus on my own expertise there, or in any number of academic topics I’ve explored a lot just out of personal interest. Hell, I’ve been called a ‘Dick Grayson expert’ more than once, and could easily just focus on my knowledge and insight of his character, if I weren’t so often alienating half his fandom with these posts, right?

So.....no, its not about being a know-it-all or regarded as having certain expertise or being an authority on a certain topic.

So really, when it comes right down to it, there’s only two things it could possibly be, wouldn’t you agree? Either I’m speaking from a place of honesty as to very real reactions and views I have on this subject, born of my own experiences and knowledge.....or I’m just speaking out my ass from a place of wanting to feel morally superior about something.

But does it really make sense for it to be the latter? If I wanted a moral superiority hill to die on in order to feel good about myself or whatever, do you really think this is the only one I could come up with, or come back to this often? Given the number of ways it seems to shoot me in the foot in the process? Oh, I know I have a certain tone when I speak on this subject. I know I ooze the same ‘you sound so dumb right now’ tone I accuse others of when I approach stuff like this, but the thing is.....all of that ALWAYS traces back to like...me REACTING off of something, not just randomly up and deciding hey this is a good week to be hated by bringing up something I know damn well 90% of my followers would be happy to see me never bring up again.

And for a guy who clearly LIKES interacting and engagement on this platform as much as I do, does that make any sort of sense at all? Maybe every now and then, but as often as I do post about this stuff, for as long as I’ve been?

Or could it possibly just be like.....I’m telling the truth, and this shit is really, truly exhausting in a way that I, and any other survivor it exhausts, shouldn’t HAVE to put up with. Its not like I came out of the gate swinging, in fandom at large or even this fandom specifically. It took time to get me just....tired of it. The same bullshit, every day, every week, without fail. And again, it all mirrors the same shit I’ve been hearing from people my whole life, to avoid engaging with the ways they weren’t even complicit in my past traumas, but just....inconvenienced by it. People talk a good game about being there for us, believing us, supporting us, but in my experience, the second something beyond a simple acknowledgment of status is asked for, the second something someone would have to ACT UPON is asked for.....the switch flips.

And that shit. Is. Exhausting.

I don’t make noise on this subject because I in any way actionably or actually benefit from it. I don’t even make noise on it EXPECTING to, at this point. I make noise simply because.....the subject deserves noise, and I deserve to make it if I make that choice, and for too much of my life that just wasn’t a possibility. And all of this bullshit, as a result? Make no mistake, its just bullshit. I don’t ever call it me being bullied or victimized or harassed or martyred, because its none of those things and I don’t regard it as those things. (Well I occasionally refer to that TW anon as harassing, but that’s because their behavior is not just limited to me and very much fits every textbook definition of the word and needs to be regarded as such). But the rest of it? Like, I don’t have a martyr or victim complex because I don’t feel victimized by this shit, lmfao. It really is just exhausting and irritating. It makes me tired and annoyed. Not harmed. Even being genuinely triggered by shit, which happens more than I care to have it happen, is at the end of the day still just an unwanted echo of a shout that I heard years ago, and an echo is never going to hurt me the way that initial shout did or have the same impact. I’ll never quite get how people seem so convinced that their anon hate or triggering effect is going to accomplish what nothing before this actually did or be the TRULY demoralizing impact I can’t move past or whatever, as opposed to just being irritating and frustrating in its hypocrisy, but well. Guess people are projecting about feeling powerless in their own lives, lol, whoops.

But just....the hypocrisy of all this grates. And the only thing I’m really looking for out of it, if I’m even looking for anything at all, is just even a few people over the years saying something as simple as “i never really thought about it like this but I can see it now.” Is it really that hard to just listen to people? My ‘voice of moral superiority/condescension’ in these things comes from the fact that I AM listening, I HAVE been listening, and that’s why I know for a fact that the things being said in opposition are all things I’ve heard MANY MANY times before, and refuted or seen refuted each time. Can some of you say the same thing about yours? Especially when that tone only comes up in posts that repeatedly reaffirm that you’re not actually responding to anything I’ve actually said or written, but merely your own idea of what you THINK I’m saying, or else just a viewpoint you’re comfortable refuting, even if its not actually mine and at best tangential to my own? When you can find something insightful in so many of my posts about a character we both like, and understand even the most rambling of my essays about Dick Grayson just fine, can you truly and with confidence say the disconnect when it comes to hearing and understanding what I say in these posts is all mine? Are you sure it has NOTHING to do with anything you bring into your reading of these posts from a place of defensiveness or preconceptions of your own?

Just....think about it.

[marshmallowgoop]

Brand New Animal...

So, the last few episodes of BNA: Brand New Animal dropped on Netflix Japan last week. I was initially really hyped for this anime—I devoted several hours of my life to translating and summarizing the Winter 2020 Otomedia interview concerning it—so I intended to write a lot more about the series, especially upon a wider release.

But having now seen every episode, this is another Kiznaiver and Darling in the Franxx for me. There’s a lot of potential, and I was incredibly invested at the start, but the narrative quickly goes directions and makes decisions that don’t sit well with me at all.

For those interested in BNA, my (mostly?) spoiler-free opinion is that it’s visually beautiful (especially in regards to its colors), but the story feels scattered, and there’s so little time devoted to positive interactions among the leads that their friendships fall flat. Further, speaking as a very character-oriented person, I finished this anime annoyed at the entire main cast. Their growth comes across as dissatisfying and undeserved.

Of course, it is more than worth noting that my understanding of Brand New Animal is indeed limited at this point; I don’t have much of a grasp on Japanese, there are no official English translations yet, and I watched with Japanese subtitles. (At least until episode 12. While there are thankfully subtitles available now, there weren’t when I watched, which is a huge disappointment in terms of accessibility.)

I recognize that my feelings may very well change if I have a better sense of everything that’s being said. But given what I do know, I—at least at the moment—have no desire to rewatch this series. I’m always open to requests to talk about BNA, but I don’t think I’ll be blogging much about it otherwise.

All that said, I do want to share some spoiler thoughts under the cut. As my sister noted, I am “very upset about this furry anime.”

First things first: I cannot stand Nazuna. I’m sorry. I think it’d probably be too much to say that she soured the whole show for me, but she definitely comes close.

Now, I got a (minor) degree in Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, so, yes, I can’t help but wonder if my strong negative feelings are related to sexism. Would I feel so strongly if there were a man in Nazuna’s place? There’s been a lot of investigating myself these last few days, let me tell you.

Still, I can’t say I know the answers. But I do have some Thoughts that are maybe best illustrated with another anime I’ve started watching lately: My Hero Academia.

Do note that I’m only on Season 2, but there are also characters I strongly dislike so far in My Hero—characters who are arguably much worse than Nazuna, as far as their actions and behavior go. Bakugo is an angry, abusive bully, while Mineta sexually harasses women. I hate both of them, but—especially regarding Bakugo—it’s a different kind of hate than what I feel for Nazuna.

Why? Well, I won’t deny the possibility that sexism plays a role, but there’s also a profound difference in how these characters are treated by their stories. Bakugo initially gets away with his bad attitude, but upon coming to high school, he’s a pariah. He’s called out for being a jerk, time and time again. Mineta, similarly, is not adored for his actions. These aren’t nice dudes, and the narrative makes this point clear. Regarding Bakugo, I hate him, but it’s not exactly a bad kind of hate. Because I hate him, I’m rooting even harder for Deku to prove him wrong.

But what about Nazuna? She pretends to be another culture’s god, but much of BNA seems dedicated to treating her as a poor victim who was manipulated into manipulating others and needs to be rescued. While Nazuna’s situation is indeed a frightening one that I don’t at all intend to make light of, episode 6 makes abundantly clear that this girl adores masquerading as a goddess and fails to see any moral problem in tricking thousands of people into believing that she’s their savior.

And that, to me, is absolutely horrendous. Nazuna is not in kindergarten. She is not a small child still in the preoperational stage of development. She is an older teenager. I find it disconcerting to paint her as someone in a rough place who was simply desperate for love when she pointedly relishes her false godhood because it makes her feel like an idol. That is so unbelievably gross and disrespectful.

Of course, Nazuna truly doesn’t see what she’s doing as wrong, and I recognize that she is young. In the end, as I hope the Bakugo example highlights, my issues are really less about Nazuna herself and more about how she’s written and depicted. Just as there’s nothing inherently despicable about portraying a smug, selfish teenage boy in a cartoon, there’s nothing inherently despicable about portraying a smug, selfish teenage girl in another cartoon. But while Deku and Bakugo were also past friends just as Michiru and Nazuna, Deku never defends Bakugo’s awful behavior as Michiru does for Nazuna.

And that bothers me. Michiru—our protagonist and so the person viewers are pushed to empathize most with—never really seems to grasp just how disgusting Nazuna’s actions are. More importantly, neither does Nazuna herself. She’s instantly forgiven, and her dream comes true seemingly without any apology or understanding of wrong whatsoever.

Brand New Animal is filled to the brim with social commentary, but one message that stood out to me actually has nothing to do with the human/animal-human conflict. It’s instead that this cute girl never has to face the consequences of her actions because she’s cute.

I know, I know. This is some pretty over-the-top negativity. But I was so excited for this series. Especially considering the ending conflict around being “mixed” and “purebred,” I felt like BNA was an opportunity for writer Kazuki Nakashima to more thoroughly explore concepts he wanted to examine in Kill la Kill but didn’t because a talking outfit just ain’t gonna garner the same amount of sympathy as cute animal-humans. With my recent(ish) Wolf Children posting in mind, I also love that Brand New Animal ultimately pushes for diversity instead of away from it as I feel that film does, even if there are some... unfortunate implications along the way (that I don’t know if I’m personally capable of analyzing).

But 12 episodes simply couldn’t do this show justice. I’m supposed to care for a girl who calls being an animal-human a “disease” and never seems to really reconcile with how messed up that is? I’m supposed to care for a man who dismembers others in the name of “honor” and never seems to really reconcile with how messed up that is? I’m supposed to hope that two friends/lovers get back together when one is rude and dismissive towards the other for the majority of the show, and the other idolizes her and overlooks her truly terrible misdeeds?

Maybe I just don’t get it. Maybe I missed something (or a lot of things). But there is so much here that gets resolved too quickly or never receives the full exploration it deserves. As I said in the start, characters fall flat, their friendships fall flatter, and any good themes or messages that I do recognize in the series hardly impact me because the rushed development of the players soured my positive feelings for them.

I would have loved to see Michiru acknowledge that she’s in love with someone who does bad things. I would have loved a heart-to-heart where she admits this to Shirou, where he then admits that in his long life, there have been times when he’s been in the same boat. I would have loved to see Nazuna truly question her actions, where her declaration that she’s Nazuna instead of a cult leader actually means something because she’s recognized that she’s been wrong and is ready to be loved for herself, not someone she’s not. I would have loved to see a moment where Michiru expresses to Shirou that he shouldn’t control his violent tendencies for her approval but because it’s simply the right thing to do. The list goes on and on.

At the end of the day, I can admit my own garbage tastes. Bakugo is apparently the most popular My Hero character, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else express such a harsh opinion regarding Nazuna’s portrayal in BNA. Episode 5 of the show (with the baseball) seems to be its most adored entry, but I thought little of it. My favorite things in anime—and what I’m specifically looking forward to in Studio Trigger anime—are maybe anomalies.

But, gosh. I really wanted to love this.