Chapter 4: Every Time You Smile, You Laugh, You Glow
Collaboration with my ultimate soulmate, @corroded-hellfire 💚
Series Summary: Based on the Jonas Brothers song of the same name. You and Eddie share a hospital room in the wake of Hawkins' turmoil, striking up an unlikely friendship that could lead to much more.
Chapter Summary: Eddie's determined to help Sunshine wake up, but when she does, will the truth break them apart or bring them closer together?
Warnings: eventual smut (18+ only, minors DNI!), Eddie survives the Upside Down, hospital, mentions of surgery, angst, hurt/comfort
WC: 6.3k
Divider credit to @firefly-graphics
It seems like years pass before the doctors come out and report that they’ve been able to stabilize you, but that you need your rest and can’t have any more visitors today.
“Her body has been under immense stress, physically and mentally,” Dr. Sanoj explains patiently. “You can come back during tomorrow’s visiting hours and see her if she’s strong enough.”
If she’s strong enough. The words grate at Eddie, chipping away at his resolve to remain calm. Of course you’ll be strong enough; you’re the strongest person he knows.
He and your mom wordlessly make their way out of the hospital. Maybe it’s his eyes, red-rimmed from crying and lack of sleep, but it brings out a sympathetic side of your mom.
“You should get some rest, too,” she says gently. She manages a small smile. “No sense in going in there tomorrow all sleep-deprived.”
Eddie nods, mutters a, “you, too,” and hurries to his van. The last thing she needs is to have to comfort him while her own daughter’s life hangs in limbo.
To his credit, Eddie does try to take a nap. He tosses and turns for forty-five minutes before giving up, swinging his gangly legs over the side of Gareth’s couch and walking over to where Sweetheart is regally perched on her stand. He strums a few unenthused chords, attempting to muster up some semblance of ambition. Nothing he plays seems right anymore, like every note is out of tune. If he’s honest, it’s how his life feels without you in it.
He thinks back to the day you formally met Dustin, Robin, and Steve. The way they insisted that there was something between you two. Jeez, Harrington went as far as to call it a spark, like a budding relationship could explode at any moment. And Robin had made that joke about how sad he got when the nurses “took his Sunshine away.” Like that song Wayne always sang around the house.
Eddie hums the tune now, trying to match the pitch and find the right chords to play. He slowly picks them up, but there’s something still…off about the way the sweet, mellow song sounds on the electric guitar.
“Hey there, Ed.” Wayne comes through the front door, wiping his boots on the welcome mat. “Got some good news for ya.”
“Mm,” Eddie murmurs, still entrenched in his music.
Wayne holds up a manila envelope. “You’re officially cleared of all charges related to the Cunningham girl,” he announces, a big grin spreading across his typically stoic face. “Chief Hopper was able to pin it all on the Russians; easy enough, considering what happened at Starcourt last summer.” Wayne shakes his head at the memory. “‘M tellin’ you, boy: you’re real lucky the Chief of Police is also involved in this monster hunting thing.”
With the help of his friends, Eddie explained the truth about what happened to his uncle as soon as he got home from the hospital. And while Wayne was certainly skeptical—who wouldn’t be, with a story about an evil supervillain from another dimension?—he’d believed every word.
“That’s good,” Eddie says now, no trace of enthusiasm in his voice.
Wayne frowns. “What’s up your ass today? You’ve been cleared of murder charges, and you don’t so much as crack a smile?”
Eddie sighs, finally looking up at his uncle. “Even if they don’t charge me for the crime, people are still gonna think I did it. That I’m some kinda Satan-worshiping cult leader, or whatever.”
Wayne sits down on the couch next to Eddie. “Let me get this straight,” he says, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. “I’m supposed to believe that the same kid who would fight to the death over a traffic ticket doesn’t care that he’s no longer wanted for murder?”
“I fucked up, Wayne,” Eddie chokes out, brushing the tears from his eyes. “I fucked things up with Sunshine, and now there’s something really wrong with her, a-and she might not wake up, and I can’t get this stupid song to sound right with this stupid guitar!” He pulls Sweetheart over his head angrily and places her back in her stand.
“Well,” Wayne says, dropping a comforting hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “I may have only met her a few brief times, but even I could tell that she’s a fighter, that one. And just because someone’s not awake, doesn’t mean they can’t hear ya. Remember we’d sit by your mom’s side in the hospital and you’d tell her about your day? She’d wake up a few hours later and, like magic, she knew what you said to her. Pretty sure Sunshine’s got that same magic. When you go back there and visit her, tell her what’s on your heart. She’ll hear ya.” Wayne pauses and takes a deep breath. “Now about this song business…I dunno how to help you with that one. You and I both know my musical ability ends at putting records on. What song are tryin’ to learn?”
“You Are My Sunshine,” Eddie grumbles, not taking his eyes off of his feet. Wayne can’t help but smile at that. He always knew his nephew was a softy deep down, but there weren’t too many times that he’d let anyone on the outside world see that.
“S’a good song,” Wayne says. “And I ain’t known you to never get a song just right before. Keep fiddlin’ with it.”
Wayne pushes himself off the couch, but before he can leave the room, Eddie calls out to him. “Wayne? What, um, what should I say when I go visit her?”
His uncle shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Just speak from the heart, boy. Keep it real honest and tell her how ya feel and what’s been on your mind.”
“Thanks,” Eddie says. Wayne gives him a nod and heads into the kitchen. After staring at Sweetheart for a few moments, Eddie picks her back up and starts to strum. He sit and practices for hours, occasionally massaging the back of his neck when it starts to stiffen up from staying in the same position for so long. He’s so enraptured in perfecting the song that he doesn’t even hear Wayne come back into the house.
“Ed? You still at it?”
“Unfortunately,” Eddie mutters, standing up and stretching his back with a groan. “You can come in if you want. I need a distraction before I fling myself out of the window.”
Wayne peeks his head in, a mischievous grin on his face. “Good thing we’re on the first floor then, huh?” He laughs at his nephew’s inevitable eyeroll. “C’mon out; I’ve got somethin’ to show ya.”
Curiosity getting the best of him, Eddie follows his uncle to his rusty old sedan. Laying in the backseat is an acoustic guitar. It looks a little beat up, but definitely playable.
“Where–how did you–” he starts, unable to speak because he’s so stunned by Wayne’s kind gesture.
“Ya can’t play a sweet old song like that on the electric guitar. Need one of these,” Wayne says proudly, pointing towards the instrument. “Guy at the pawnshop said she just needs a bit of a tune and she should be good to go.”
Tears spring to Eddie’s eyes, and he envelops his uncle in a tight hug. “You’re the best,” he says, voice muffled by his cheek being pressed against Wayne’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I haven’t been the easiest to deal–”
Wayne dismisses his concern with a wave. “Enough of that. I’m just glad to have you back here, alive. Now,” he says, the joyful glint returning to his eyes, “go learn that song so you can get the girl and leave the damn house once in a while.”
Eddie’s unable to suppress the smile that grows on his face. He’d never thought of himself as someone who would “get the girl,” but then again, he’s never felt about anyone the way he feels about you.
Re-energized by his gift, Eddie brings the acoustic guitar inside and starts to practice again. Right away, he can tell the difference.
“Much better,” Eddie says to himself. Wayne was right, as usual—not that he’d ever admit that to his uncle. Before, Eddie felt every second drip by as he tried and failed to make the song sound right. Now, the hours were flying by faster than Eddie even realized. Footsteps march into the living room and Eddie reluctantly looks up to see Gareth standing in the doorway.
“Yeah?” Eddie asks.
“Do you know what time it is?” Gareth asks, raising his eyebrows. Eddie shakes his head and goes back to strumming. “It’s after three in the morning. Dude, if you don’t get any sleep, she’s going to think you look like shit tomorrow.”
Gareth managed to find the one thing he could say to make Eddie put the guitar down. He didn’t have an official place to put this one, since Sweetheart was already resting in the stand. Standing up, Eddie grabs his guitar case from behind the couch. Gareth shuffles back down the hallway towards his room as Eddie flips open the latches of the case. He sets the acoustic down inside and smiles as he looks down at it. His first precious guitar has a name, and now he has the perfect idea for the next.
“Goodnight, Sunshine the Second.”
When Eddie arrives at Hawkins General Hospital the next morning, he’s not surprised to see your mom already by your bedside. He winces when he notices the tubes in your nose, another painful reminder of your weakened state.
“Any changes?” he asks softly, a pang of disappointment settling in his chest when she shakes her head no.
“No better, but no worse,” your mother reports, running her thumb over your hand, carefully avoiding the needle in your vein. “How’re you holding up?”
“All right,” Eddie shrugs, peeling the guitar case off of his back and setting it down. “Wish she would wake up, though.”
Your mom laughs kindly. “You and me both, kid.” She takes notice of Sunshine the Second and smiles. “Did you just come from band practice?”
“Nah,” Eddie shakes his head bashfully, letting his messy curls brush his cheeks. “I, um, wanted to play her a song. If th-that’s okay.” He’s never been good with parents; they’ve always written him off as some punk or, worse, trailer trash. He anticipates disapproval, so he’s pleasantly surprised when your mom’s face brightens and she encourages him to play.
“I’ll be right outside if you need me,” she excuses herself, giving his shoulder a maternal squeeze.
Eddie clears his throat. “Hi, Sunshine,” he starts, pausing briefly to give you a chance to reply, but the silence dashes his hopes. “I’m so fucking glad you’re alive. I kept thinking about you, and this song, and I—I wanna play it for you.” He unzips the case and slings the guitar strap around his body. Tuning it quickly, he starts to sing:
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
He’s not sure what he was expecting; it’s not like his warbling voice would heal you. But he can’t help the disappointment that sinks into his chest like a bag of rocks in a river when you remain perfectly still.
He strums absentmindedly, playing whatever songs he can remember off of the top of his head. His usual repertoire of Metallica and Black Sabbath don’t sound right on an acoustic, so he thinks about some of the folk-y music that Wayne listens to.
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’
On a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
The mention of an airplane reminds him of the argument you two had had before he was discharged. “I know you weren’t sure about if you wanted to fly with me to California and try to make it as a dancer,” he murmurs, “but whether or not your plans include me, I really think you should.”
He sighs, continuing to play random chords as he speaks. “Feel kinda bad right now. I mean, if you were awake, you might tell me to fuck off. And I wouldn’t blame you, honestly. But you can’t tell me that, so I’m just pouring my heart out whether you care to listen or not.” He laughs softly.
Eddie’s fingers are moving of their own accord against the strings, his mind drifting off in a thousand different directions. It isn’t until his ear catches on the familiar notes that he realizes he’s playing a new song, one he heard a lot growing up, thanks to Wayne.
Woah, my love, my darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me
His voice catches on the last few lyrics, his throat constricting and his eyes become heavy with unshed tears. Taking a deep breath, Eddie keeps strumming the guitar because he needs something to do with his hands. He slips his eyes closed, trying to compose himself, but it doesn’t do much. When he opens them again, a few stray tears escape down his cheeks.
“Sunshine, wake up,” Eddie pleads. “I don’t like this. Sunshine, wake up.”
He switches gears, going back to the original plan for the acoustic guitar. What he practiced for hours so it would be just right for you.
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You’ll never know dear
How much I—
Eddie is cut off by the gentle fluttering of your eyelids. His heart stalls in his chest, his breath freezes in his lungs as he stares at you. In reality, it’s about four seconds of you blinking before your eyes are fully open. To Eddie, it was an agonizingly long wait. His hands are still on the guitar, too shocked to move. You’re looking up at the white ceiling above you before blinking a few more times. Slowly, your head turns towards Eddie and when your eyes lock with his, all of the emotions that have been swirling around and building up for days now hit their breaking point. The tears surge and Eddie sets the guitar down to wipe them from his eyes. He’ll be damned if anything keeps him from looking at you, alive, awake, wonderful you, even if it’s his own damn tears.
“Sunshine,” Eddie breathes out, a rush of breath and a sigh of relief all wrapped up in the nickname. You look slightly groggy still from all the medications, but Eddie can tell you’re looking into his eyes, which is all he needs. Gently, taking care of the needles and wires hooked into you, Eddie takes your hand. “Sunshine, can you hear me?”
Your mouth opens and you go to speak, when a look of pain flashes across your face.
“Shh, no, no. Don’t speak. Just squeeze my hand if you can hear me,” Eddie says.
The soft pressure of your delicate hand tightening around his is enough to bring another round of tears. These, he scrubs off with his sleeve before they can make it too far down his face. Once his vision is clear again, he looks down to see you smiling at him. He’s not sure if you’re genuinely glad to see him, or you’re still so hopped up on drugs that you would’ve been happy to see Pennywise standing over your bed.
“M-Mom?” you whisper, and your head is filled with sandbags as it lolls to one side.
“No, Sunshine, it’s me. It’s Eddie.”
To his horror, you start to cry. He doesn’t know how to interpret it, so he quickly stands up. “I can go get her, okay? You don’t have to be scared.” Running over to the doorway, he pokes his head out towards the waiting room, catching your mom’s eye as he waves her over.
“She’s awake,” he tells her, watching her body visibly decompress with relief, “and she’s asking for you.”
Your mom rushes into your room, heaving sobs wracking her body as she takes in your open eyes and small, chapped smile. “Hey, baby,” she murmurs. “I’m here now.”
Eddie awkwardly shifts from one foot to the other, not wanting to intrude on such a sensitive moment but not wanting to leave. “I can come back later,” he offers, but your mom shakes her head and pats the seat next to her. The two of them sit in silence as you go in and out of sleep, waking to ask for some water before dozing off again.
After an hour, you finally claw your way out of a groggy stupor, focusing on the two people by your bedside. “Wh-What happened?” you manage.
“Honey, you had trouble waking up from your surgery,” your mom reluctantly tells you, sharing an uneasy glance with Eddie. “Your, um, your heart stopped; they had to revive you. We didn’t know if you were going to make it.”
“We should’ve known,” Eddie chimes in, offering as much of a smile as he can. “I mean, you’re a total badass. If anyone can cheat death, it’s you.”
It takes you a moment to piece together what’s going on. The last time you saw Eddie, anger and disappointment marred his normally cheerful disposition. There was no trace of the young man who theorized about future soap opera plotlines or who fell asleep with his cheek nestled against your shoulder; there was only hurt.
The Eddie sitting before you now is different altogether. He looks like he’s about to burst into tears at the sight of you, like he wants to hold on to you and never let go.
There’s so much still left unsaid, and your head swims at the mere thought of such an intense discussion. Instead, you opt for a more obvious question: “Is that a guitar?”
“Eddie was playing some songs for you,” your mom explains, looking between the two of you. Eddie hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since he’s sat down, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to stop any time soon. “I’m gonna grab something for him and I to eat; maybe he can play them again?”
“You don’t have to–” Eddie starts, but your mom waves him off with the promise of whatever sandwich looks the least unappetizing.
“You always sing for your mortal enemies?” you ask wryly, a hint of teasingness in your tone that you hope carries over.
“Just your run-of-the-mill sacrifice chants,” he jokes back, and you audibly sigh at the easy slide to your usual back-and-forth banter. He lowers his voice and takes your hand in his, weaving your fingers together as he says, “and you’re not my mortal enemy.”
“I’m really sorry that I lied to you,” you tell him, a misty film covering your eyes. “I just didn’t wanna disappoint you. And if you saw me sad, then you’d get sad...”
Eddie lightly presses his palm to your cheek. “Sunshine,” he says mournfully, “I never wanted you to hide your feelings from me. You’re my Sunshine because you’re you, not because I thought you were happy all the time.” He uses his free hand to rub behind his neck. “But I could’ve asked. I guess I was just so in my own head, thinking about myself, that I took you for granted. Poured my heart out to you, but never gave you the same chance,” he chides himself.
“Or I could’ve spoken up,” you point out truthfully. “I could’ve said, ‘Hey, I need a bunch of surgery and I may never dance again, and I’m really fuckin’ sad about it.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. You may never dance again. And there he was, blowing up on you because he thought you didn’t want to run away and pursue your dream; the whole time, your dream may have been yanked from your grasp.
“Can you play me one of the songs?” you interrupt his thoughts, and he just nods wordlessly as he positions the guitar on his lap.
“It’s kinda lame–”
“Just play it. Or do I have to almost die again?”
“Sheesh, all right,” he chuckles, latching his gaze to yours as he sings:
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
You’re giggling and crying at the same time, a sight that must seem completely absurd. You don’t want to think too long about what Eddie’s making of the way you look right now. His voice is rough and gravelly from years of metal covers at the Hideout, but it’s soothing nonetheless. But it’s the way he sings one particular part that replays in your brain over and over.
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
Maybe it’s just a song lyric. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything. He just sings it, not even remotely flustered, as though his love for you is common knowledge.
“So,” he says sheepishly, “what’d you think?” When he realizes that you’re cry-laughing too hard to respond, he grins. “Oh, Sunshine. What did I do to your heart–fix it, or break it?”
“I’m not sure,” you half-joke, because if you get your hopes up that he does love you the way you want him to love you, and then he doesn’t, it might shatter into a million pieces. “That was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
Eddie pauses, biting his lip nervously before he speaks again. “Can I try something?” When you nod, he cups your jaw and lets his thumb graze over your lower lip. You cringe at how dry they must feel, but he doesn’t seem to care as his mouth presses to yours. It’s a quick kiss, over too soon for your liking, but it still leaves you breathless.
He leans his forehead on yours, smiling as he caresses your cheek. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” he confesses, “and it kinda scares the shit outta me.”
“Only kinda?” you tease, nudging your nose to his.
Eddie leans back in his chair, letting out a shaky chuckle and rubbing his palms on his worn-out jeans. “I want us to be honest with each other. I don’t want any more secrets. From either of us,” he clarifies, so you know he’s not only talking about you. “Starting with what really happened the night of the earthquake.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you trust that I’ll tell you the truth?” he asks, and you nod. “Okay. So, um, shit, where do I even start? I guess…well, the earthquake…it wasn’t really an earthquake.”
Your eyes widen as he plunges into a story that sounds like it could be one of his D&D campaigns.
“It was the first time I’d ever seen anything like it,” he tells you, explaining how some monster nicknamed “Vecna” had snapped Chrissy Cunningham’s bones like twigs. How he’d hidden in his drug supplier’s boathouse—a detail you’ll have to unpack later—until Dustin Henderson tracked him down. How the whole town was convinced that he was some kind of heinous murderer, when he’d never hurt a fly.
All of that pales in comparison to the World War III-esque scene that awaited him in the Upside Down, an alternate dimension controlled by Vecna. “Every moving part was connected to him. Like a hive mind,” he says now. An arachnid-shaped force called the Mind Flayer that could possess anyone with a painful jab of its long pedipalps. Thick vines, far more dangerous than the poison ivy that showed up in your backyard each spring. “Nancy, Steve, and Robin—they almost died from them,” Eddie says somberly, and you sit up as much as you can and rub his back.
“Is that how you…?”
Eddie cuts you off with a quick shake of his head. “Henderson and I were supposed to lure the demobats from Vecna’s lair. That’s all we had to do. And we did it,” he flashes a sad smile. “But all I could think about was being a hero. Saving my friends. Finally facing danger instead of running from it.”
They’d just made it back to safety before the storm of bats surrounded the trailer, busting through vents and shaking the foundation. “Henderson went back first, an’ he was calling my name. Everything in me was screaming to climb the rope, get myself back to the real Hawkins.” He’s sobbing, and you have to lean in closer just to understand what he’s trying to say. “But I cut the rope and I went back.”
“To the Upside Down?” you interrupt, blinking back tears of your own.
Eddie nods. “Those little bat fuckers got me good. I thought I was gonna die, right there in that weird, fake Hawkins. But my friends dragged me out, got me to a hospital…and here I am,” he finishes, trying to muster up a smile.
“Here you are.”
“Scariest shit of my life,” Eddie says with a sigh. “But it landed me in the same hospital room as this really beautiful girl, so I guess something good came from it after all.”
His compliment brings a shy smile to your face, and your mind starts to remember all the laughs and conversations the two of you had in that room. A room, you assume, Max is still in.
“So, uh, is this all how Max went blind?” you ask.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, his eyes dropping down to your hand in his. He rubs his thumb along the back of your hand, taking care to avoid your IV line. “When Vecna targeted Max, she started levitating like Chrissy did. Her bones started to snap and her eyes started to bleed. When Vecna was torched, she was released. But the damage had been done. Lucas—her boyfriend, swears she died while they were waiting for an ambulance. And she was in a coma here for a little while.”
“She seems like a good friend. Loyal,” you say.
At that, a small smile curls on one side of Eddie’s face. “Yeah, Red’s a good kid.”
“When they brought you in,” you say, lacing your fingers with his. “What did they tell the doctors was wrong with you? It’s not like they could’ve come right out and said you were attacked by multidimensional bats.”
“Steve and Henderson were arguing the whole way here about what their story should be. In the end, it didn’t matter though. The hospital was so overwhelmed by patients that they just wanted to know what my injuries were and didn’t even ask how I got them.”
“This is all so insane,” you say with a shake of your head. Eddie’s brow pinches up and you’re quick to reassure him that you believe his story. “Eddie, what you had to go through was insane. The fact that there’s this whole other dimension existing alongside ours. Why is this shit happening in Hawkins of all places? Land of the boring doesn’t seem like the type of place that evil creatures would want to strike. At least, not according to most of the monster or disaster movies I’ve seen—and there have been a lot.”
“Before Vecna became…well, Vecna. He was just some kid who lived in Hawkins. With weird as shit powers he used to kill part of his family,” Eddie says.
“That’s almost more morbid than the killer vines,” you say. “So, he chose to create a new dimension?”
“Not exactly. He was…banished there, more or less. By this badass little superpowered girl that all my friends know. I haven’t gotten to meet her yet, though. But she sent Creel there and he corrupted it to his liking, apparently.”
“Wait, did you say Creel?” you ask. “As in, The Creel House? Victor Creel?”
“His son, actually. Henry Creel. Henry is Vecna,” Eddie explains.
“Jesus,” you say, leaning back against your pillows. “I know this whole thing is all pretty unbelievable…but do you know what part is bothering me the most?”
“The fact that there are worse creatures around here than regular old spiders?” Eddie teases, getting a giggle out of you.
“No,” you say. “Though that doesn’t thrill me either. It’s that the stupid people in this town would actually believe you’re capable of murder. And why? Because you like metal music? Because you play D&D? That’s such bullshit.”
Eddie can’t help but smile at your words. How could he ever have thought that you were like all those other assholes in this town? Well, he knows the answer to that, unfortunately. It was bound to happen over the years of bullying and abuse he endured, that now he’s just become paranoid that people are always fucking with him. Trusting people becomes a harder process, but falling for you is oh so easy.
There’s a gentle knock on the door and your mom sticks her head in. “Am I interrupting?”
“Not at all,” Eddie says, his politeness towards your mother ever more endearing now that he’s kissed you.
“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” your mom says as she sits down in the chair next to Eddie. She has a plastic container holding a sandwich in each hand. “I’ve got ham or turkey. Take your pick.”
“I’ll go with turkey,” Eddie says. Your mom hands him the sandwich and the two of them tuck into their food. You let your eyes roam around the room, which is smaller than the one you shared with Eddie—and then Max. Hopefully, you’ll get to move back into that room once you get a little strength back. But this room isn’t bad. It’s private, quiet, and you have a nice view out the window to your left. Dragging your eyes back across the room, they land on Eddie’s guitar laying next to his chair.
“So, you play guitar,” you say, staring at the instrument. “Electric and acoustic, I take it?”
Eddie nods as he finishes the bite of food in his mouth. “Mostly electric. Just got this bad boy yesterday, actually. But it’s pretty much the same. You can play one, you can play the other.”
“Do you play any other instruments?” you ask.
“Nah,” Eddie says. “I tried piano when I was younger, but the white keys…the black keys…too many to keep track of. What about you?”
“I was in band in middle school. Played the flute, but that was about it,” you say and your mom lets out a guffaw of laughter.
“I don’t know if I’d consider what you did ‘playing’ the flute, hun.” She leans in towards Eddie. “Those concerts were brutal.”
Eddie laughs and you feel your face warm up. “Thanks, Mom.”
The conversation lasts for another forty-five minutes before your Mom decides to head back home. She thanks Eddie for being there, enveloping him in a warm hug. It’s loving and maternal, and not frantic like when they were both anxiously awaiting your prognosis.
“So,” you say, peering at Eddie through your eyelashes, “is it my turn to tell you what happened to me?
He shakes his head. “Another time,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead. His lips are soft and kind, and you never want him to break contact. “I had something more fun in mind for the rest of our afternoon.”
Your cheeks flame, and you press your lips together shyly. “Um, I don’t think I can do that for a little while,” you whisper.
Eddie’s eyes widen. “No, shit, that’s not what I meant. I mean, eventually, hell yeah, but not right after you rose from the dead.” He crosses his arms over his chest and gives a dramatic pout. “D’you really think I’d try to get in your pants now?”
You shrug. “I dunno. Maybe you have, like, a coma fetish.”
He wrinkles up his nose as he stares down at you. “Is that a thing? Never mind, I don’t want to know.” He scoots on the edge of your hospital bed and proudly announces, “I’m taking you on a date.”
“Eddie, I can’t leave the hospital,” you say, gesturing to the litany of wires you’re hooked up to. “Not sure if they’ll even let me leave my room.”
“Only one way to find out,” Eddie says. He gives you a mischievous smile as he stands from your bed and strolls out of the room. You try to situate yourself so you’re able to see out the door, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever Eddie is up to. A few minutes later, he steps back inside, pushing a wheelchair in front of him. Raising his eyebrows, his eyes dart from you, down to the chair, to you again, as if saying impressive, huh?
“Whatcha got there, Eds? We going somewhere?” you ask.
“On our date, m’lady. You’re cleared to go downstairs.”
“What’s downstairs?”
“You’re just full of questions today, aren’t you?” Eddie asks as he parks the wheelchair next to your bed. “Let me ask you one. Do you like coffee?”
“I’m a college student,” you say. “I need it to live.”
“Well, Miss College, would you accompany me to the cafeteria for a coffee date?” Eddie bows at the waist, offering one of his hands to you and the other rests against his back. “I may also buy you a cookie.”
“Spoiling me, I see. I would be more than happy to go on this date with you.” You push the blanket off your legs and move to sit on the edge of the bed. Before you go to step off the bed, a frown comes to your face.
“What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, standing up straight again.
“I feel a little weird about leaving my room in just my hospital gown,” you admit, face heating up.
“Not a problem.” Eddie shucks his leather jacket off and holds it out in front of him. The smile that lights up your face is involuntary at his sweet gesture.
You stand up and reach behind you to keep your gown closed. “No free show,” you tease him with a smirk.
Eddie chuckles and lays the jacket over your shoulders. “I mean, I am paying for your coffee…” He lets out a yelp as you playfully swat at him with your free hand. He helps you get seated in the chair and once you’re comfortable, you slip your arms into the sleeves. The scent of Eddie surrounds you as you're enveloped in his jacket. It feels soft against your skin and you just want to snuggle up in it.
He unlocks the wheelchair brakes and gently begins pushing you out the door, carefully navigating the frame so he doesn’t bump you. “Never thought I’d see the day that I was a responsible driver,” he quips, and you giggle. “Now, how do we get to the cafeteria?”
You crane your neck to look up at him. “How am I supposed to know? I didn’t exactly ask for a tour when they carried me in on a stretcher.”
“Ooh, feisty,” Eddie teases, continuing down the hallway until he finds a map of the hospital. His eyes scan the figure until they land on his destination. “Aha! Looks like we have to turn right at the end of this hall, then take the elevator down to the first floor, and it’ll be on the left.”
“Onwards!” you command, and Eddie gives a little salute as he brings you to the elevator.
You reach the cafeteria, and he wheels you over to a table. “How do you take your coffee?” When you give him your order, he repeats it over and over again.
“If you forget, just call out and ask me,” you reassure him, but he shakes his head.
“Wayne told me once that you should always know how your girl takes her coffee,” he explains. “‘S like one of the Ten Commandments or something.”
A grin spreads across your face. “Your girl?”
“Y-Yeah, if you want?” he stammers, shoving his hands in his back pockets and rocking back and forth.
You crook your finger, beckoning him down to your level, and you kiss him passionately. He relaxes into you, deepening it and parting your lips with his own. “Yeah, I want,” you say softly, twirling a strand of his hair around your forefinger.
As he walks towards the carafes of lukewarm coffee, you admire him. Your boyfriend. He claims that revealing what happened to you won’t make him like you any less, but you have a niggling feeling that it might. He only knows you as Sunshine, and the one time you showed any emotion other than optimism, he left without a word. What if he decides that it’s too much? That you’re too much?
Maybe he’s better off without you and your baggage dragging him down. As if he can sense you getting in your own head, Eddie slides your coffee in front of you and plops down in the seat next to yours.
“My girlfriend gets the cutest little crease right between her eyebrows when she’s thinking too hard,” Eddie says.
“Sorry,” you say with a sheepish smile. You take a sip of your coffee and let out a hum of approval. “Perfect.”
“No overthinking on our first date. Wait for the third or fourth for that.”
“Sounds fair,” you acquiesce.
Eddie looks at you before taking a sip of his own coffee. “You know you don’t have to hide anything from me, right? I don’t run away. Not anymore.” He reaches out and strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.
You swallow your nerves, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. “Okay,” you agree slowly. “Okay. I’ll tell you.”
--
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"More Human"
Word count: 1,892
Content warnings: just a teensy bit of angst
(this one is really short and kind of aimless i just needed something domestic and cozy 👍)
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Afternoons like these weren’t entirely uncommon, but a welcome addition to any day as far as its two participants were concerned. Autumn breezes had steadily replaced the hot summer air in the past few weeks, and according to Luka, this was the “Goldilocks” area of perfect temperatures to keep the apartment windows cracked open. Not so hot that he couldn’t wear that oversized hoodie he insisted on donning even during the most sweltering days, but not so cold that they would wake up in the middle of the night shivering, even under several blankets. That was all well and good, but Faust still didn’t know what a Goldilocks was. It sounded edible, so he chose to believe it was delicious.
Admittedly, the tiny realm-hopper hadn’t taken much time to note the appeals of this season the first time he witnessed it. In his defense, Faust was somewhat preoccupied with other matters; adjusting to life on a foreign and gargantuan planet, concocting plans on how to destroy said planet, dealing with his all-too curious and annoying caretaker every minute of every day, the likes. Hell, he hadn’t even understood the concept of seasons until his first snow day. So it was nice to observe it this time, now that things were peaceful and Luka was…well, slightly less annoying. And as it turned out, there was a lot to like about fall.
The leaves had all blossomed into wonderful warm hues and gave off an earthy scent that Faust was quite fond of. It was somewhat hypnotic to watch them all twirl in the air whenever a particularly strong gust passed through the street, and if he was lucky, sometimes a stray leaf would land on the windowsill to their bedroom. He’d begun toting them inside and forming a rather formidable pile (well, formidable to a three-inch imp, perhaps), but in the interest of cleanliness and blah-blah-blah, Luka collected Faust’s findings and pressed them between the pages of a book. That was stupid. A scavenger’s bounty was meant to be displayed, not hidden from view in some dumb word prison. Humans truly knew nothing about honor. Or maybe Faust had just been watching too much anime.
On this particular afternoon, the pair had made themselves comfortable by laying across the bedroom’s mattress, not touching each other or sitting next to the other as they often did, but laying in opposite directions with their heads positioned close enough to converse comfortably. And perhaps they would be conversing, had they not both slipped into a relaxed silence without really intending to. Luka had put on a playlist of mellow yet catchy music a while ago, which filled the air as it played softly from his phone’s speaker at the foot of the bed. Neither was doing much in particular to occupy their time, content with staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought but reassured by the other’s company. And that was fine until it wasn't, an antsy Faust had decided. Luckily, he never found an issue when it came to breaking silence.
“Hey, it’s too quiet. Let’s talk about something,” the demon piped up, raising his arms upwards in a brief stretch before resting them beneath his head.
He could hear the human behind him shift a bit. Faust momentarily wondered if Luka had fallen into a light sleep during their period of quietness, and that the demand for conversation may have woken him up.
“Alright,” Luka replied, “What would you like to talk about?”
Faust’s lip curled into an annoyed frown. “I dunno. That’s why I brought it up to you, genius.”
There was an airy chuckle. “Ah, right. Sorry.”
A stretch of deliberate silence passed after that, only adding on to Faust’s frustration. “Why do I even bother with you?” he sighed with a click of his tongue. Seeing that Luka would be of no help whatsoever, he paused to think up a conversation topic on his own. He hummed a moment, staring up at a spot of light that reflected onto the ceiling in a prismatic halo. “Alright, how about this: if you could travel to any place on Earth, where would you go?”
There was a brief moment of wordless pondering. Faust wondered if Luka was staring at the same sunbeam he was. “Hmm… I’m already here,” was his simple answer.
The imp frowned, then considered the potential underlying meaning with that statement, and frowned even deeper, though this time a warm blush accompanied the scowl. “That doesn’t count. You know that’s not what I meant.”
Luka huffed a laugh through his nose at that response, clearly amused by the other’s flustered grumbling. “Well, I’m not really the adventurous type. I suppose it would be nice to stay in a woodsy cabin, maybe on a mountain. Somewhere peaceful and secluded, so you could explore freely, too.”
“Come on, I’m asking where you actually want to go, not just where it’s realistic and safe! Take me out of the equation and give me a real answer,” Faust pressed further, agitated by his companion’s inability to make a hypothetical decision.
“Why would I do that?” came Luka’s immediate reply. It made Faust freeze in place; something about the human’s tone seemed much more genuine than the light-hearted banter from a moment prior. “I wouldn’t want to go anywhere without you. There’s no more of a ‘real’ answer than that.”
There was a pause, and Faust was suddenly grateful for the soft music still playing from Luka’s phone that filled the silence. He wasn’t supposed to say that. And Faust hated that he did. Not because the sentiment upset him in any way; it was the opposite, really. Because he wouldn’t want Luka to go anywhere without him either, and the feeling of being truly, genuinely wanted — needed, even — was something so wonderful that he could have easily gotten drunk off of it. But even for as idealistic as Faust was, he knew that it wasn’t healthy. That he couldn’t alienate Luka from his own kind by depending on his constant company. That there was no future that allowed him to be so selfish.
It wasn’t the sentiment Faust hated so much, but the guilt that came from it. He was no stranger to the feeling, yet that never stopped the icy churning in his gut whenever it appeared.
“Is that really okay?” the demon asked in a small voice. Even if they were closer in size, a mutter like that would be difficult to hear, so he wasn’t sure the remark would reach Luka’s ears at all. But Faust didn’t really care. “Don’t you ever feel like…I’m holding you back?”
The mattress creaked and shifted, and even though Faust kept his gaze affixed to the ceiling, he could tell Luka was craning his neck to stare at his tiny roommate. “Is that what you think?” he asked softly. Not sternly, not sadly, just…somewhat hurt. And that made the writhing feeling double in intensity. The brunette sighed, taking the lack of response as a confirmation, then rolled to lay on his side.
“I think you might be overestimating me a little. Didn’t I just tell you that I’m not the adventurous type?” Luka asked with a sheepish laugh, “You can’t hold me back from something I don’t do in the first place.”
Faust crossed his arms, squeezing them tightly as he shrugged to himself. It made sense. He already knew Luka was a chronic introvert. Yet the guilt persisted regardless, as if his brain was trying to convince him that by merely existing, he was snuffing out any potential his companion had for a normal, fulfilling life. A human life. Something Faust could only dream of.
“That’s a naive way of thinking,” the smaller grumbled. Perhaps it was a tad harsh, but it wasn’t as though he’d ever had a problem speaking his mind before. “Just because you don’t doesn’t mean you won’t. You might change your mind someday. Might realize you’re taking it all for granted. There’s this whole world — an entire gargantuan planet — of humans, and they’re all different. Insane, confusing, unique…fascinating. And you may think to yourself one day that you wished you could talk to them, be with them, connect with them like humans were meant to. But you don’t, and you can’t, because…”
“Faust,” Luka interjected. Faust already knew what he would say, so he bit his tongue. “Are you sure we’re still talking about me?”
There was another lull of hushed stillness between them, the space of the bedroom filled only by the current song that faded to its conclusion and the rustle of dried leaves in the wind. Afternoon had begun to slip into evening, and the air seeping in from the narrow opening in the window became cooler. Soon that spot of light on the ceiling would be gone. The music would be turned off. They’d get up from the bed to have dinner. It was an inconsequential end to an inconsequential activity, yet something about it felt so bittersweet to Faust. Maybe the guilt came from wishing he could keep everything exactly how it was in that moment forever. Or perhaps it came from the selfishness of daring to wish for more. He didn’t know the answer, and he was certain Luka didn’t, either.
“You know…” Luka spoke up at last, shifting again. He lifted his arm above his head, stretching it until his hand slid next to Faust’s position on the mattress. It wasn’t outstretched in command or suggestion, simply relaxed as a form of option. A reassuring gesture, regardless of whether Faust chose to acknowledge it or not. “Sometimes I can’t help but think that you’re more human than I am.”
That made Faust smile. It was a bitter, reluctant grin, but a smile nonetheless. It was stupid — especially considering how often he pridefully denounced humankind and its foolishness — but somehow the thought brought him comfort. Because if that was how Luka saw him, it meant they were equals. Not an unwilling caretaker and his burden of secrecy, but two friends simply enjoying an autumn afternoon.
Yeah…friends.
Faust flipped onto his side and brushed his forehead against the base of Luka’s index finger, lightly grasping onto the tip of it with his own, smaller hands. He was warm. He felt like safety, and it made the writhing in Faust’s stomach finally die down. It wasn’t an answer. It wasn’t even a direct response to his worries, but that warmth was still something real, something undeniable, and that would suffice.
“So what about you?” Luka asked after a moment.
Faust lifted his head, straining his neck to shoot the human a confused glare. “What about me?”
“Where would you go if you could travel to any place on Earth?”
Ah, right. That was what started this whole tangent in the first place, wasn’t it? Faust supposed this was what he deserved for getting cocky and running his mouth earlier. He hummed for a moment, gazing toward the window as he contemplated his answer.
“I guess…someplace where every day is like this one. I think that’d be nice.”
Luka smiled, curling his fingers ever so slightly around the demon’s touch as he joined him in observing the golden light beyond the apartment walls. “Yeah,” he replied softly, “It would be.”
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