#mechanically speaking one would cancel out the other

[dutifulsilence]

"What happens if you take a stamina elixir and a hasty elixir and chug them both at once?"

[itsdeniini]

hi! just wondering if you could also do Jungwon's turn ons and offs?

TURN ONS / TURN OFFS OF

MAKNAE LINE ⭒˚｡⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖🕷

HEEJAY and JAKEHOON editions!

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁.ᐟ➤ n ★ t e : i am a self-taught tarot reader, and the interpretations i provide are personal. if anyone would like to share their own insights, i would be more than happy to hear them! please be kind <3

SUNOO

TURN ONS

1. STEP IN! SHUSH HIM! Like literally. His turn-on is when he can be able to obey and listen to his partner when they are getting into little clashes, because sometimes he's so damn argumentative and requires so much attention when his point of view is being explained by himself, to the point he can get confused in his own words. In that moment, he would secretly crave his partner to take the lead, tell him that he's too opinionated and make him CHILL 🥶 He would obey with the greatest joy!

2. Emotional intelligence in his partner is one of his turn-ons too. A person who understands people's feelings and how to act is a massive YES for Sunoo. How they deal with disputes or feelings of being hurt is the main one. Being emotionally intelligent is something Sunoo is proud of, and he always awaits the same honor. Listening, supporting, and talking is his key to a great relationship. 

TURN OFFS

1. Sunoo would not stick with someone who does not take dating seriously; that would really piss him off. Like when you can't have a deep talk or the person is constantly canceling their joint plans. Everything in that moment is a mere empty promise for him. He would never choose someone like that as a significant other.

2. LIARS. "Why do you lie? Can't be your real self? You're unconfident? Just be truthful and don’t make things up for your benefit, it’s not difficult. Oh, it is? Then I'm off-limits for you. Bye." THAT'S SUNOO.

JUNGWON

TURN ONS

1. His heart always aches when his lover reveals how big of a family person they are by always spending time with their family, talking about how much they mean to them and how they raised his partner with so much love. It's clear that Jungwon grew up in such a loving environment, which is why he is the way he is today, so he wants his partner to be the same in that aspect.

2. If anyone can stand him being a silly goof AND also be goofy themselves, BOOM 💥 instant connection! He just loves people with playful (with a bit of a naughtyyyy sense, why not?) self-humour! Jungwon thinks that such people are rare nowadays. Very few people can laugh at themselves or take the mickey out ofthemselves,s so if his potential partner has that quality, then they're a keeper.

TURN OFFS

1. If they speak badly of his family or disrespect him in any way, manner, or form, my bro will run. Jungwon thinks that a person who does not rate or respect another person they call a lover will not rate or respect any other human being on this earth. He does not care how beautiful they are or what green flags they have; he will dashi RUN.

2. How someone deals with tensions is a big thing for him. If that person has tendencies to burst out and be over emotional, that thing would most certainly lead to a break-up. He won’t put up with being gaslighted or not being heard when he's trying to soothe the situation, if the mechanism was initially working poorly then what's the point in it's existence, it just eats resources without any good result.

NI-KI

TURN ONS

1. One of his green flags that he points out in his partner is that when he feels shitty, they immediately notice that. It's as if Ni-ki would value his lover's stepping out of their comfort zone for his sake. The mere idea that they are such good people, ready to make sacrifices, turns him on in a certain way. On a casual day, he will be more than content with just an instant, out of nowhere, "I love you" that will make him feel fulfilled. 

2. Someone who updates him while they are apart, because he tends to overthink while waiting for his boo. This is also the TOP TIER. That’s the energy he needs in his love life, not someone with poor text etiquette.

TURN OFFS

1. He strongly hates it when someone feels so entitled to his long purse (and trust me, it will get longer). He will never bear a person like this near him. He doesn't want to feel like he's enabling a disoriented person by placing them on a monthly allowance and salary for being what? Purely his partner? NUH-UH... He will ask himself, "Is this love or a job?"

2. I bring, I bring all the drama-ma-ma-ma 💃 I can't say if he hates or likes this aespa banger but what's obvious is that he detests DRAMA. He already identifies himself as a mature man, he's not into this childishness anymore. If that person creates uncalled buzz around themselves, then they're a big red flag for Ni-ki. He'd tell that individual to screw off and enjoy their dramatic life in solitary, somewhere far away from him.

[unreliablesnake]

Goodbye (Vincent de Gramont x reader)

Note: A follow-up drabble for this.

For all you knew, Vincent hadn’t signed the papers before you left him for good. You could only hope he would come to his senses and do it before your lawyer arrived the next day, but either way, you knew he would do it once he accepted you weren't coming back.

You were heading to your seat in first class, already sipping a glass of champagne like you always did during these flights. But today you truly needed some alcohol. Yes, it was you who left him, but it still hurt to know it was over. You wanted to make it work, you truly did your best to accept him with every flaw of his, but you reached a dead end with him.

While the other passengers began to arrive, you pulled out your ebook reader and dived into the book you had begun to read a few days ago. It was a romance novel, although there were comedic elements that made it truly entertaining. It was nice to get lost in a world where a relationship was working and everyone was happy.

One of the flight attendants suddenly began to explain that there will be an unexpected delay, but you didn't make much of it until it was announced that the flight was cancelled and everybody had to get off of the plane. A mechanical issue, they said. But you had a bad feeling, that maybe it wasn't entirely true.

A man your age you had met on the plane kept you company as you made your way back, but you choked on your carefree laughter when your eyes landed on Vincent. You should have known, the whole last minute mechanical failure was so fake in retrospect. They would have known sooner, not two minutes before take off.

“Who is he?” he demanded, his eyes fixed on the poor guy on your side. “I thought you said you weren't seeing anyone.”

“I'm not seeing anyone, we only met on the plane.”

The man next to you shifted uncomfortably before saying, “I'll leave you two alone.”

“Thanks. Good luck with the wedding,” you told him with a warm smile, even waving as he walked away.

Your back was to your dear husband, and you were thinking about leaving him there. You didn't want to talk to him. There was absolutely nothing to talk about. Well, except for two things–the cancelled flight and the divorce papers.

With a sigh, you turned around and gave him a tired look. “Did you have anything to do with the cancellation of my flight?” you asked as you stepped a little closer.

“I can't just let you go like this, I had to do something,” was all he said, as if it was perfectly normal. “I won't sign those papers either. I love you. I don't want you to leave me.”

“Vincent, it's over. I don't want anything from you anymore.”

He bit on his lower lip before putting his hands on his hips and turning away for a moment. You could tell it truly hurt him. That wasn't your intention, you always hoped he would take it well. But he clearly didn't. All of a sudden you felt guilty for doing this to him.

But no, you couldn't give in. You couldn't let him manipulate you and make you stay somehow. The only direction you were willing to go from this airport was New York. Or hell, any other city in the States as long as you could leave. Paris was beautiful, but it wasn't your home anymore.

“Just one more night,” he suddenly said. “Stay for one more night and think it through.”

With a sigh, you put your hand on his arm as you stepped closer. “I'm not going anywhere with you. I loved you, I truly did, but it's over. Sign the papers. Please,” you asked him.

Silence fell between you, but you could tell he was about to say something. He probably wanted to object, but he didn't speak up because he now knew you wouldn't stay. But then he took a deep breath and said, “If you ever change your mind, if you want to come back, I'm here. I'll be waiting.”

Smiling at the thought, you stood on your toes and softly kissed him. “You deserve someone who loves you. I'm not that person anymore.”

“I'll miss you, love” he told you as he pulled you into a tight hug.

[nowoyas]

the past half hour wasn't real - Miguel O'Hara x Reader

M.list - Read on Ao3

A/N: continuing the trend of using tfb lyrics whenever I don't know how to title things. almost didn't post this one and definitely didn't edit this one but it's cheaper than acquiring a therapist <3

Summary: Miguel accidentally startles you in exactly the wrong way. Your behavior may require an explanation.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, panic attacks, past sexual assault

Word count: ~2700

You've been hurt before. Past lovers and your own stupidity mostly, if we're looking at number instances alone. But that's not what I'm talking about.

It isn't something you talk about. Once, you'd gotten fed up with your own self-destructive coping mechanisms, reached out, and booked an appointment with a therapist.

The day came, and you freaked out, canceled, and told yourself you'd never try to speak about what happened again.

And really, that wasn't a problem. You dealt with it how any normal person would: you closed off. You became Only The Employee or Only The Hero and occasionally let work acquaintances talk you into 1-3 dates with a guy who you would inevitably break it off with because you have numbed yourself out to that shit. Once or twice, you managed relationships longer. Those, too, fell apart.

Granted, at first, you tried not to. You tried to be daring and open and honest with partners. You tried to tell them: you had been hurt before. You might be a little cagey from time to time, you might have limits that don't make sense, but it is only because you have been hurt and you will spend the rest of your life navigating it.

That didn't work.

It didn't work because instead they saw you as cracked and damaged, or else extraordinarily fragile, and they would never touch you until, eventually, they moved on, and you would return to being Only the Employee and Only the Hero.

That was until you met Miguel and the others.

Hundreds and hundreds of people—all just like each other and, to a lesser degree, just like you. Spider-mutated heroes from different dimensions, working together to keep the multiverse in one coherent-incoherent piece. And Miguel, at the center of it all, Atlas holding up the world on his shoulders.

Miguel, who re-invigorated your life and, whether he realized it or not, yanked you violently out of depression.

Miguel, who, by taking you back through that portal with him and the others, allowed you to realize that while you were frequently Only The Hero, you were not The Only Hero.

Miguel, who called you in to help with an anomaly and found you emotionally rotting in your suit and didn't force you to drag yourself out anyway.

Miguel, who quietly sent a pair of Spiders to your dimension for a little bit so you could ride the waves of the anniversary of the day That Man Hurt You until they finally left you crashed on the shore long enough to stand again.

It was little wonder that you fell head over heels for him. It was rare that he let others see the humanity in him long enough to be registered, but he let you see enough that there was never any hope for you to begin with.

And that, my friend, is exactly the fucking problem.

Because you have been hurt before.

Maybe you did careen into a relationship of sorts with him—you're pretty sure you're exclusive, at least, given how little capacity either of you seem to have for entertaining the idea where even one person is concerned, and you spend time together and he lets you see himself a way that no one else ever sees him: human, tender, kind. Of course there is kindness in his actions day-to-day, but it's always masked, beneath his unmasked, flat tone and the seemingly cold logic present.

You know he has not been completely vulnerable with you. This is okay, because it's not as if you've been vulnerable with him.

You have pushed yourself through, because you love him. You have let him kiss you, because you love him. You have given him affection until he breaks because he needed it and you love him.

You have not had sex with him.

And oh, you've tried. You've told yourself a million times—he is not Him, he is nothing like Him, he would never hurt you the way He hurt you. These are all true statements. Factually, there is not a single shred of doubt to be had in these points.

Except trauma does not care about what is true now. It is determined to remind you, again and again, that You Have Been Hurt Before. You, conversely, are determined to tell capital-T Trauma to suck your fucking dick about it and fuck off so you can live a normal, well-adjusted life as a superhero dating an alternate-dimension superhero.

So you push yourself. You do not initiate, but you don't run away, because for once in your life you have enough love to stay, and anyways if you ran, he would chase you, and you wouldn't be able to keep it together.

It is late, and there has been a lull in anomalies to contend with lately, and you have just spent a wonderful day with Miguel. You don't track time like normal people do, so you can't say how long you've been together, just that it's been a long enough time that it's not really unfounded when you both crash at your apartment and you invite him to spend the night.

You have unspoken boundaries that he has effortlessly sensed and not once attempted to cross, so tonight, you don't expect him to walk up behind you sitting on the edge of your bed and wrap tender arms around your waist or press a sweet kiss to the back of your neck.

To be fair, he does not expect you to freeze.

He does not expect you to jolt away, to shove him with all your force, for whimpering pleas to pass your lips between breaths that turn to gasps, for you to settle on the floor seven feet away and grab harshly at your hair just to find some way to ground yourself.

The reactions are automatic. They have to be, because it is no longer you in your body in the room with him. It is memories, and it is fear, and if you could bring yourself to do anything beyond pulling your hair and hyperventilating, you'd be halfway out the window by now, whether it was open or not.

He's in front of you in a second, eyes searching, almost wounded, and the little part of you that's still in your head wants to apologize, to tell him it's not his fault, fucking hell this is Miguel he'll never—

But you can't. All you can think of is that night, of pleading nos, of the pain of it all and waking up and just crying for hours.

"Tell me what I did wrong, cariño, and I will never do it again. Please."

His voice is grounding. He is stricken, to see you this way. He is careful not to touch you, not to move too fast until you finally manage to worm a hand out of your hair to find something to claw at, to find a source of pain to bring you back down to Earth (667, in your case), and then he is lightning as he pulls your hands away from yourself.

"[name]. I need you to look at me and see me. Can you do that?"

You can do that.

You meet his eyes, focus as hard as you can on the place where his hands hold yours, the look in his eyes—calculating beyond the hurt. He's trying to figure you out.

He is counting, and it takes little time for you to understand that you are to follow the numbers with your breaths. You've played this game before. You try your best to match him, and he is encouraging and kind even when your attempts to just take a slow breath are interspersed with involuntary inhales and hiccups.

The pads of his thumbs, calloused and rough, smooths over the back of your hands in little circles, and when you struggle to breathe and struggle to listen, they, too, bring you back down. Each pass of his thumb feels like a confession of things you have not yet said, despite the time:

Swipe. I love you. Swipe. I love you. Swipe. I love you.

Time moves weirdly coming down from panic attacks, and so it is impossible to say how long it takes you to come back down enough to speak, how long he spends counting and rubbing his thumbs into your hands, how long you spend expending every effort just to breathe correctly.

When at last you can breathe and his counting stops, he does not let go of your hands. They are a reminder he is here. They are a reminder you are loved.

"I'm sorry" are the first words out of your mouth when you can think to say them, although the Everything took quite a bit out of you and you don't have many more words to give right now. You had been lucky so far; you stayed masked in front of everyone. Not your Spider mask, but the other mask, the one you never let down around others. No one suspected you to be Different before this, and now you're stuck wordless and feeling remarkably alone.

Except, hey, isn't Miguel just like you? Isn't that part of why you love him so?

He asks in low tones if he can carry you somewhere more comfortable than the floor. You nod, and he carries you to the couch, puts on the TV. He lets you be the one to fuck with the remote, seemingly understanding without you telling him that you do not have the words to direct him yourself right now. You put on something non-offensive and easy, and when he gets up with gentle words informing you that he's going to get something from the kitchen, you cling to him wordlessly.

A rumble of a laugh soothes you. "I'm just getting you something to drink."

You shoot him pleading eyes. Stay. Please stay.

"You need to drink water. I can carry you, if you don't want to be alone right now."

You unwind, offer him the tiniest of nods. He lifts you, again with ease, and carries you one-armed into your kitchen so he can get you a glass of water.

It is unbearable, how clingy you've become in such a short time. It is pathetic, how he sets you down with your glass of water and sits beside you and you immediately press into his side. He may have been the danger for a moment in your traitorous mind, but now, direct contact with him is the absolute safest place to be. He is an amazing sport for simply allowing it.

When at last you have it in you to drag words up to the surface, you're immediately apologizing all over again, and he is meeting each one with a gentle refusal.

"I don't need an apology from you. I just need to know what you need from me so that I never set you off that way again."

Your face falls, and you consider the sentence you need to pull out of yourself.

Honesty. That's important.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry."

He arches a brow. He does not buy it and does not appreciate your continued apologies.

"...I haven't always been strong enough to take care of myself. Someone I trusted a lot..." The words die in your throat. Even now, after everything, you still can't bring yourself to say them.

As it turns out, you don't need to. It is rare that Miguel emotes in a way others completely understand, beyond angry and stern, but you know heartbreak when you see it. "Oh, cariño..."

“I just got scared,” you whisper finally.

He is holding you, then, gentle and firm all at once. “You should have told me.”

“I don’t want you to be afraid to touch me.”

Now that it’s out, that fear strikes you to your core.

Miguel, who would never want to hurt you.

Who now has reason to fear that he’ll hurt you no matter what he does.

“I won’t ask you to go into detail. But if we ever run into him, I can’t be held accountable for what I’ll do.”

A bitter scoff. You rest your head against his chest, let the sound of his heartbeat soothe you. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Your arms wind around his midsection, and you gradually slide onto his lap. “Please don’t let this change how you think of me.”

“What do I have to do so that you never get the idea I might think less of you over something like this ever again?”

You shudder with the sob that rises at that, but you refuse to let yourself cry more tonight. “It isn’t that I thought you’d see me as less. It’s just… I managed to tell someone once. About what happened to me. And he pulled away. He wouldn’t touch me. Wouldn’t even look at me.”

“You’re afraid I would leave you to keep you safe.”

“Mm.” You’re glad for the position the pair of you have wound up in. You couldn’t stand to see his face right now. “I didn’t—don’t—want to lose you. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that we never had a sex life because I let you see this part of me and you decided it was better for me.”

He is silent. That is the scariest part—he is silent.

“I know you’re always putting others above you. I know you’re trying to protect all of everyone in everything you do. I realize it’s selfish to ask you not to protect me. But it is goddamn torture to be put in a little glass case to be looked at and never loved because everyone’s afraid to hurt me, and it makes it all the worse, and I am so, so tired of letting him haunt the rest of my life. Can I please be selfish?”

“It’ll be difficult,” he replies, and your heart drops. You’re already moving to untangle yourself from him when he continues: “But if you’ll talk to me, and we discuss your boundaries, and you tell me the nanosecond something feels wrong to you…”

He isn’t leaving.

He isn’t pulling away.

You sit, frozen, on his lap, and search his face with wide eyes, but there’s no hint of deception. Not that you were ever the Expressions Reader, but still. You like to think you’re learning his, and you don’t see deception there.

“I love you,” you say, and that’s not the words you intended to say, not for the first time like this. “Please don’t ever sneak up from me behind like that again. Make noise. I don’t care what noise.”

It is his turn to be stunned, and for good reason, because you’re not sure anyone expected you to drop the “I love you” tonight. For a second, you think that will turn out to be the final nail in the coffin, but then he’s peppering your face in kisses, and you flush under the attention.

He isn’t letting you kiss him back or escape the assault, and you find yourself dissolving into laughter when he holds your face still to better aim his affections. At last, when you’re reduced to a giggling mess in his arms, he grants you reprieve so he can speak.

“I promise, that’ll never happen again. I love you, too.”

You are exhausted and drained, but sitting here with him, there is warmth, and light, and hope. Tomorrow, he will return to HQ, and you will remain in this dimension to make your rounds and keep your lights on. Someday, he will tell you about the pains he carries, and on another Someday, you may give him details about yours. But it is tonight, and tonight, you will settle into one another, murmur quietly a conversation about limits and love and how to move forward.

One thing you should know: although he is scared, he will never pull away because of this. You are safe in that.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @yohoe-hoe

[exitrowiron]

What to do when your flight is cancelled. (This is a long post, but if you travel you will find it helpful.)

Even though I'm mostly retired, I still fly frequently but I'm with Beth more often. Most flights are on-time and uneventful, but lately we've had 3 of 4 with a problem; the most significant was a cancelled flight when trying to return from Cincinnati to Seattle on Alaska last week.

The plane boarded and took off uneventfully, but it failed to gain altitude and within 10 minutes the pilot announced that an engine had malfunctioned, couldn't be restarted and we'd be returning to the airport. The plane was heavy with fuel for the cross country trip so the landing speed was higher than normal, the roll out was longer and fire trucks met the plane on the runway to ensure that the overheated brakes didn't catch fire - all standard operating procedure.

All the passengers and their carry-on luggage were deplaned and asked to stay close to the gate area while the two Alaska gate agents figured out what was going to happen. Nearly every one of the >160 passengers immediately got in line to speak with the agent at the gate; Beth and I were among the few who sat comfortably in the gate area.

Alaska is a relatively small airline, they don't have spare aircraft and crews hanging around in non-hub cities like CVG, so after two hours the gate agent announced that the flight was cancelled and that Alaska would create a replacement flight for the same time tomorrow and that we'd all be automatically rebooked. The line of 160 people hadn't moved an inch. Within a few moments we received emails with meal and hotel vouchers and the Alaska app updated with new boarding passes for the flight the next day. Our checked luggage was sent to the baggage carousel and we were sent on our way for the evening. The following day we boarded the flight and made it home without any more problems.

Here are some helpful tips:

If your arrival time is very time-sensitive:

Book a direct flight. Yes, you'll pay more but the odds of arriving on time (with your bags) go way up.

Don't check bags. If your flight gets delayed and you absolutely, positively have to be there on time, you may have the option of booking another flight on another carrier, and simply abandoning your original flight. If your flight is delayed due to weather, booking another flight won't make a difference - every flight is going to be delayed.

If you are deplaned and awaiting a decision about your flight, don't bother standing in line with all the other passengers. Your reservation, along with the reservation of every other traveler is being worked by the airline automation - check your app and email for updates. If the flight is cancelled and the airline has other flights to that destination, they will rebook everyone and unfortunately the passengers with the highest status will be first in line. Again, you may wish to try to book a flight with another carrier, but that will be expensive. Many years ago carriers would cooperate and rebook travelers on competing airlines, but this practice has been largely discontinued.

If your flight is cancelled for an airline controllable issue (ex. mechanical failure) and you are rebooked on a flight the next day most airlines will offer hotel and meal vouchers. Here's the thing, airline hotel vouchers are generally for crappy airport hotels (what other kind of hotel has last minute availability for a bunch of stranded passengers?). The Alaska Airlines fine print says that you can make your own accommodations and send them the receipt for reimbursement. Instead of the 1.5 star Quality Choice voucher hotel, we stayed at Marriott Courtyard. I have status at Marriott so we got a 4:00 pm checkout and didn't have to hang out at the airport all day. The hotel cost $175 and Alaska promptly reimbursed me $150 - that's a great deal for us and surely cost Alaska $100 more than the voucher hotel.

Lastly, Alaska is very generous in providing discounts for future flights as a way of apologizing for service issues. I've flown >1.5M miles on Delta and never received something similar. Alaska sends an email with a discount code for a future flight, but you have to keep the email OR add the code to your Alaska wallet yourself. That isn't a huge burden, but I think they should do it automatically.

In a rare example of bipartisanship, by the end of the week Congress is expected to pass a bill requiring airlines to automatically issue refunds for cancelled flights, rather than requiring travelers to chase down refunds themselves.

From Rolling Stone: On Tuesday, The Lever reported that financial statements from Southwest Airlines and Delta Air Lines suggested that the companies had an estimated $2 billion and $6 billion each in unused flight credits, respectively. According to a February filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, per the publication, Hawaiian Airlines made $312 million from 2020 to 2023 in unused, expired passenger tickets.

Interestingly Ted Cruz believes that conservatives don't want their money back, “Most consumers, if a flight is canceled, don’t want an immediate refund, they want to book a new flight,” he reasoned, dumping the last vestiges of logic as he explained that “almost all conservatives say, OK, put me on the next flight, and the rule saying no, you gotta give the money back automatically, no matter what the customer wants, that’s frankly a dumb idea.” Not surprisingly, for the 5 year period through 2024, Delta and American have contributed ~ $75K to Cruz's election campaign and leadership PAC.

[bigshymen]

sam sulek x fem reader🙏

Sorry for the long wait! This month has been a hectic one. (I hope you don’t mind the angst as well!)

SAM SULEK X FEM READER WHO STRUGGLES WITH BINGE EATING

sam sulek x fem reader

summary : after trashing your boyfriend’s, sam, car with food wrappers and take out containers from last nights binge, you were going to do anything you can to prevent him from finding out.

cw : binge eating disorder , disordered eating , exercise purging , over exercising , angst , comfort , fit reader , insecurity , hopelessness , addiction , swearing , lying , crying , unhealthy coping mechanisms

Shit.

Sitting in your boyfriends car, surrounded by empty wrappers and take out containers from the night before scattered thoughtlessly everywhere, that’s the final conclusion you came to. The guilt gnawing at your gut was worse than the compulsion to overeat.

You’ve been struggling with a binge eating disorder for as long as you remembered. The earliest memory of it that you could recall was during your school days. Stressful evenings after middle school, you were never good at math, turned into nights indulging into the snack cabinet and hoarding food with the aggression of a wild animal from the rest of your family in highschool.

The effects of this long term caused you to gain a considerable amount of weight which did nothing good for your situation. The loss of control you felt over your body led you to believe the only solution was to purge it all by the end of the day to gain some semblance of it. You considered laxities and puking but you knew they fucked up your gut beyond repair among other horrifying side affects.

You resorted to exercise purging some of the excess calories you would binge throughout the day. Finding comfort in being active you decided to take up strength training along side cardio nearing the end of high school, which is how you met your long time boyfriend, Sam.

Sam had been a diver. Extremely active and that showed through his extremely fit body. Your dedication to the gym caught his attention immediately and his passion and unrelenting drive to achieve his goal of becoming a bodybuilder after high school inspired you to work towards your goal of recovery, in secret.

Which, wasn’t sustainable by the way. In fact, you think it worsened the problem. This enabled more binging thinking you could always fall back on your cardio, but you can’t run away from a bad diet.

You wouldn’t dare burden him with your secret struggles with food. You were afraid he’d invalidate your disordered eating because you were in shape or he’d be disgusted and disappointed with your undisciplined habits. He wanted to be with the you that had a perfect body and a healthy mind, not the pig who can’t help but succumb to her glutinous thoughts.

It was a shadow that followed you around everywhere. Invisible to everyone but you.

After a shaky sigh, you wipe a few of the crumbs from the passenger seat of his car. You glance at your lit phone sat haphazardly on the edge of the dash to see a message from Sam, speak of the devil.

“Finished my workout. Lets eat out tonight😛🍴”

Eating out? Fancy. But knowing him this could be another Five Guys date again. His stupid little emojis distract you momentarily from the mess around you, but as soon as a smile lit your lips it was gone. You already feared binging alone, but with him around? You couldn’t risk letting him see the pig you are. You found little ways to avoid this like lying that you were full and you had eaten earlier, but you hating not spending time with him because of your own problems.

And he’d become increasingly unhappier with you eating before pre-scheduled days out and canceling last minute.

Panic grabs you again when you look at the clock and realize the gym is only 15 minutes away so you’ve got to haul ass. You snatch a plastic bag from the backseat and start stuffing the wrappers into it, hands trembling.

Can’t let him see it. Can’t let him know.

You tear a pack of wet wipes open in the glove compartment and start scrubbing at the food stains and crumbs. Every minute feels like a second slipping out of your reach. Entirety too fast. As you clean your mind races trying to conjure up a reply if Sam notices anything. He’s meticulous with his belongings, especially his little pride, his car. He’d definitely notice right?

The pressure mounts you like he’s over your shoulder crushing you himself. But that wouldn’t be so bad. Off topic, you need to get your head in the game girl. - spoken as just as your father would.

With 10 minutes remaining, you stop in a neighborhood on your route and toss the containers into someone else’s dumpster to their visible confusion.

“Sorry!” You hurriedly shout at them as you book it back into your car. Surveying the car, you concluded that it wasn’t perfect but it was passable. You stuffed the trash bag under the seat, hoping Sam wouldn’t find it, and continue driving to the gym, knuckles white on the steering wheel.

You pulled up just as he’s walking out, looking refreshed and energized. He spots you and jogs over, his smile widening as he gets closer. You force your own, your heart racing.

“Thanks for picking me up hon.” He hums, sliding into the passenger seat. As he leans over to kiss you, you hope he doesn’t smell the cheeto dust on you.

“Anytime.” You awkwardly get out, trying to sound casual.

As you drive home, Sam fills the silence chatting about his workout and some training techniques he’s trying. You nod along, your mind still preoccupied on whether you missed anything.

As you pull into the driveway, he gives you a curious look. "You okay? You didn’t answer my question.”

Snapping back into the present, you force another smile.

"Sorry, Yeah, I’m just a bit tired. Long day."

Nodding slowly, long bronze curls bouncing, and seemingly accepting my explanation, he accompanies you inside without anything further. You breathe a sigh of relief as you shut the door behind.

Crisis averted, for now.

You had a few hours before dinner, so you decided to lay on the sofa as Sam takes a shower to clear your head. As you lie your head on a soft blanket, you think about how close you came to being found out. You need to stop this, for both your and Sam’s sake.

After his shower, you find Sam in the kitchen, leaning against the counter top dressed for the occasion. He looks up, noticing you and smiles. "Ready?"

Noticing you hadn’t swapped out your comfortable clothes for something more.. boujiee, he gives you a small frown. “You aren’t going?”

You hated lying to him.

“I’m.. tired. Can we do this another day?” You breathed out after a long pause.

He looked at you with unblinking eyes, usually bright and nut-brown but the dimness of the kitchen casted a darkness above them, now appearing black. You felt a bead of sweat travel down your temple, your gaze flickering from him to the window.

He sighed before taking one hand from the counter and gliding it through his curls. Breaking eye contact for a second before resuming his laser-point stare.

“Did you eat earlier?”

“No.”

An unreadable expression now dons his unreasonably attractive face. He walks over to the large trash bin next to the walkway leading into the living room and pulls a familiar large trash bag from behind it. He opens it in front of you and a bunch of wrappers and fall out dramatically onto the ground, crumbs and all.

“We-we planned this days in advance. Why do you always do this?” As he reveals the extent he figured out, his eyebrows furrow in frustration. His pokered-face before now looked genuinely hurt as he was trying to wrap his head around why you kept avoiding going out with him.

the look on his face is a mixture of confusion and concern.

"What's going on?" His voice was always so gentle, but there's an almost edge of worry underlying his words that made you nervous.

Your eyes felt like they were burning and a familiar feeling of pressure building up in your chest showed your body knew what you were going to do before you knew yourself. Your cheeks felt wet and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your cheeks.

You had burst into tears. "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't want you to find out like this."

Immediately abandoning the garbage bag, he pulls you into his big arms. “It’s ok, just talk to me.” He reassures, not angry but confused.

Through violent sobs you decided to tell him everything. The binge eating, the shame, and the guilt. The weight of the secret pressed on you as if you were being suffocated.

“Sam,” You began, voice trembling, “There’s something I need to tell you.”

He listens without interrupting, silent. The sensation of his hand rubbing circles into your back soothed you.

Trying to gather your thoughts you finally decide, here goes.

"I've been struggling with.. binge eating. It started in middle school during those stressful nights when, you know, I kept failing math-“ you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh because of how stupid you thought you sounded-“and I felt like I couldn't keep up. I would sneak downstairs after everyone went to bed and eat whatever I could find. It felt like the only way to feel better."

You felt his embrace tighten around and take the opportunity to close your eyes and fully encapsulate your face into the warmth of his boulder shoulder, happy and disgusted at the tears and snot your smearing all over his nice dress shirt.

“A-and it spiraled out of control in high school. I began exercising to try to reduce the damage.. and then I met you. I meant to tell you but-but I was terrified of what you would think of me.”

When I finally finished, he holds your face up gently so you’re looking into his deep eyes. "I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this alone. I don’t even think I could not love you, especially for something like this. And we're a team, okay? We'll figure this out together."

You were so lucky to have him, you thought as you lean your head into his large hand, feeling newly matured tears run down your face again while you apologized about making a mess of his shirt.

Surprised, a smiling Sam hurriedly wipes them with the back of his hand while he reassures you that it’s completely fine.

[mariacallous]

Lobbyists for cable companies and advertisers yesterday expressed their displeasure with a proposed “click-to-cancel” regulation that aims to make it easier for consumers to cancel services.

Federal Trade Commission chair Lina Khan has said that changes are needed because “some businesses too often trick consumers into paying for subscriptions they no longer want or didn't sign up for in the first place.” The FTC proposed the new set of rules in March 2023, and comments from industry groups were taken this week in a hearing presided over by an administrative law judge.

NCTA – The Internet & Television Association, the primary trade group for cable companies like Comcast and Charter, said the rule would make it harder to offer deals to customers who are trying to cancel.

“The proposed simple click-to-cancel mechanism may not be so simple when such practices are involved. A consumer may easily misunderstand the consequences of canceling, and it may be imperative that they learn about better options,” NCTA CEO Michael Powell said at the hearing. For example, a customer “may face difficulty and unintended consequences if they want to cancel only one service in the package,” as “canceling part of a discounted bundle may increase the price for remaining services.”

Powell said that cable company reps can usually talk customers out of canceling. “Out of millions of cancellations, complaints received by NCTA members amount to only a tiny fraction of 1 percent,” he said. “Three out of four of the cable and broadband customers who called to cancel end up retaining some or all service after speaking with an agent.”

Powell worries that retaining customers will become tougher because, he said, the FTC “proposal prevents almost any communication without first obtaining a consumer's unambiguous, affirmative consent. That could disrupt the continuity of important services, choke off helpful information, and forgo potential savings. It certainly raises First Amendment issues.”

Powell also said the cost of complying—including retraining employees and maintaining records for longer than current practice—could force cable companies to raise prices. He claimed that the FTC's estimate of compliance costs is too low.

FTC: Sellers Must Take “No” for an Answer

The FTC said one of its proposed rules “would require businesses to make it at least as easy to cancel a subscription as it was to start it. For example, if you can sign up online, you must be able to cancel on the same website, in the same number of steps.”

Sellers would also have to obtain customer consent before they “pitch additional offers or modifications when a consumer tries to cancel their enrollment,” the FTC said. Before making those pitches, sellers would have to “ask consumers whether they want to hear them. In other words, a seller must take ‘no’ for an answer, and upon hearing ‘no’ must immediately implement the cancellation process.”

The FTC also proposes that sellers be required to “provide an annual reminder to consumers enrolled in negative option programs involving anything other than physical goods, before they are automatically renewed.”

At yesterday's hearing, the FTC also heard from the Interactive Advertising Bureau (IAB), a lobby group for the online advertising industry. “The proposed rule would disrupt the current regime by adding specific requirements dictating what auto-renewal disclosures must say and how they must be presented,” said Lartease Tiffith, the IAB's executive VP for public policy.

Tiffith argued that the rule will burden businesses “and restrict innovation without any corresponding benefit. And as the technology develops, these prescriptive requirements will constrain companies from being able to adapt their offerings to the needs of their customers.”

Tiffith defended auto-renewals generally, saying the practice of automatically renewing services brings “significant benefits to both businesses and consumers in the form of cost savings, convenience, and heightened value.”

Cable Lobby Complains About Cost

Powell claims that complying with the rules would require “rebuilding” cable company systems and that the cost “could easily exceed $100 million for initial implementation by our industry alone.” These costs “would likely lead to higher prices for consumers,” he said.

An FTC Notice of Proposed Rulemaking offered a much different take on the costs, estimating that the “annual labor cost for disclosures for all entities is $4,695,800.” That's based on “an estimated hourly wage rate for sales personnel of $22.15” and an “estimate of 212,000 hours for compliance with the Rule's disclosure requirements.”

The FTC said that non-labor costs for complying with record-keeping and disclosure rules, “such as equipment and office supplies, would be costs borne by sellers in the normal course of business.”

Powell argued that the proposal shouldn't be applied to the cable industry. “The ominously labeled ‘negative option’ feature is merely a plan that continues until the customer cancels,” Powell said. "Most such plans present few concerns … In many industries like ours, automatic renewals are the only model that makes any sense. Consumers expect their internet service to flow reliably and without interruption."

The cable lobbyist contended that consumers are happy with cable company cancellation practices, and that adding the rules to “established processes that are well understood by subscribers will create more confusion, not less.”

“Tens of millions of consumers use our services. They know they are paying for continuing service … and they know how to cancel, rarely complaining about the process,” he said. “The FTC's highly prescriptive proposal requiring numerous disclosures, multiple consents, and specific cancellation mechanisms is a particularly poor fit for our industry.”

Referring to the requirement to obtain consent before offering new deals to customers who are trying to cancel service, Powell said that “placing speed bumps on conversations between consumers and providers will deny them a rightful chance at a better deal and providers a fair opportunity to retain a good customer.”

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Oh no I am an anxious wreck once again. What now?

Here are a few tipps and tricks that help me personally to deal with anxiety (plus some I know work for others). Please feel free to add your own coping mechanisms in the notes!!!! Even though I technically know means to calm myself down, I always forget everything when I'm in the thick of it, so while this is mainly a reminder for myself I hope this list can help at least one other person as well :)

First of all: emotions are hard, and they are overwhelming, and shaming yourself will not make it better. Chances are it will make everything worse, actually. So don't you dare feel bad for needing help even with the "easy" stuff, or for not being able to endure as much as your peers, or even for half-assing stuff sometimes. It's fine. Like, for real. I promise it's okay. You don't need to always be at your best. You don't even need to be at your best most of the time.

What helps me personally is imagining that these struggles are affecting another person close to me. If my best friend were to call me because she needs help answering an E-Mail, or even to cancel last minute because she feels too overwhelmed to leave her house right now, I would never make her feel like crap because of it or talk about her behind her back or anything else your brain may be trying to convince you of. I know that she is at least as good a person as me (probably better tbh), so if I wouldn't do any of that, she certainly would never. In fact, believing these thoughts is actually a disservice to her, who did nothing to deserve these mean remarks (quite the opposite actually). Basically, try to twist and out-logic your own brain into being less of a cunt to you. Try guilt-tripping yourself into being kinder. The bad emotions are there anyways, might as well use them to your advantage. I can speak from experience that being anxious is a bit less unbearable if you aren't being a self-obsessed asshole on top of everything else

JUST FUCKING DO IT

If the source of your anxiety isn't a particular task you have been procrastinating on, or is something you can't just do whenever (f. ex. a job interview that's two days away), feel free to skip this part ^^

If you are still here: I know it can feel like actual hell to just do the thing. If you immediately want to click away after seeing this title I don't blame you. I mean, I am currently writing a huge ass post about anxiety instead of answering the two (2) E-Mails literally making my hands tremble. But the truth is, doing the thing is actually never as bad as it seems. Here's some stuff that maybe can help:

-> Remember that it's never been the end of the world before, so surely it won't start being it now. If you've already been through a similar situation: remember that it isn't the first time you've felt this way; remember that doing the thing wasn't as bad as you'd feared and, most importantly; remember how you felt after doing it. If this is the first time you feel like that, I'm sorry. I promise you aren't stupid for "overreacting", and I promise it will feel at least a little bit better if you just get it over with. And when you've managed the first time, you can now use that as an example instead of taking some stranger on the internet on his word. Worst comes to worst, you can still anon hate me (jk please don't)

-> Rewarding yourself. Remember that putting yourself down tends to make things worse. Allow yourself to be proud for your achievements, yes even the small ones that most people barely even think about. Because sometimes shit is just hard, but you still did it, and that's fucking awesome !!! For me personally just the knowledge that my anxiety will lessen (and I will probably get some good sleep - emotions are so fucking exhausting) is enough most of the time, but you can also give yourself a little treat afterwards. You've earned it!

-> Hide it in between chill tasks. Like right now, I'm writing this instead of my fucking E-Mail. I am a bit calmer since this is distracting myself from the daunting task of typing a few words. So I am now going to open my mails on another tab, type this shit, and send it. And I know that when I did that I will feel better about myself. And even if I fuck up somehow (how you ask? i don't fucking know), I will immediately have this task to come back to so I don't have the chance to overthink it. I FUCKING DID IT I AM THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD

-> If you have a bunch of stuff you swore yourself you would do (a bunch can also mean like 2 btw) starting can seem even more daunting (even if it is, as aforementioned, "only" two). So I am very happy to present written lists my absolute beloved. In my experience, stuff is a lot less overwhelming if it isn't only living inside your head. You get a feeling of accomplishment when you can cross something off your list. You don't have to keep panicking about forgetting something (since everything is already written down on your list.) You can even break down bigger tasks into smaller more manegeable ones (f. ex. instead of "clean your room" -> "1. do your bed; 2. fold your clothes; 3. etc etc".) It's great because even if you don't manage the entire big task you still feel less like a failure since you've got proof of all the small accomplishments you did manage. Plus it's easier to continue on another day since you know exactly what you have to do and have proof of everything you already managed as a motivator.

-> Accept help. Be on the phone with a friend while doing the thing (if possible, of course). Ask your friends to be your hypeman before and after doing the thing. Get reassurance from other people. Go to your friend's house to ask them to read your E-Mails, summarize them verbally, and then type an appropriate answer for you (can you already tell me and electronic mail aren't in the best of terms?) Making things harder on yourself on purpose isn't being strong it's being stupid

-> already mentioned it a bunch of times, I know, but the thing that really helps for me is comparing with past experiences. I know I will feel better after I do it because that's always what happens when my brain blows things out of proportion. I know I can do this because I did even scarier stuff and it went well. Or even: if I manage to do this seemingly super scary thing, I will be able to use it as a motivator for smaller stuff in the future. I mean, what even is a fucking E-Mail in comparison to going to a social event on your own ??! (seriously, do it. in my experience it's surprisingly easy to find friends if you look pathetic enough, plus a lot of things seem a bit less paralyzing in comparison)

-> I turn it into a competition, or a game. If I do the thing I win. If I don't do the thing the anxiety wins. And I refuse to let that happen because I'm competitive AND a sore loser <3 so I do the thing. and then I feel a bit better

JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THINKING IS THE ANTITHESIS OF DOING. (which you can also use to your advantage, à la better to think about that unhealthy coping mechanism and why you shouldn't do it than to stop thinking about it and actually doing it instead. But that isn't the point right now)

DISTRACTIONS

Sometimes there just isn't anything you can do. Sometimes all you can do is wait. Sometimes you don't even know why the fuck you're feeling like that. And that fucking sucks.

I know there are some people who need an absence of stimuli in order to calm down. (If that's you, please leave some of your own pointers in the notes! I don't really have any ideas for that one tbh)

For me, the opposite is the case. I can't count the times my mom has told me to "try meditating!" or "don't do more than one thing at the same time it'll only stress you out even more!", unaware that giving my thoughts free reign would make everything so much worse.

I need to overwhelm myself in order to be able to forget about my anxiety for a while. Sometimes doing a task I've been dreading is easier after distracting myself for a few hours (being anxious is very tiring so if you let it run its course in the back of your mind for a while you'll have less energy for it later ^^). Here's some stuff that could help (though it should be noted that a) not everything will work on everyone and b) sometimes it just doesn't work. even if it worked the last five times. Don't ask me why it is what it is):

-> Do something (really anything) while listening to a video essay/podcast/audiobook. That's my go-to classic. Feel your mind slipping away from whatever you're doing? Force yourself to really listen to what is being said. Sometimes it helps to mouth the words along to my audio of choice (while still doing your thing at the same time!!) Speed it up (I've usually got my stuff at 1.75x or 2x). Assume that pretty much everything listed below can be done while having this as a second layer of distraction

-> Learn something new. I was literally just teaching myself the tabs for Every Breath You Take by The Police and 26 by Paramore on the guitar before starting this. I tried learning finnish and irish for a while there (learning vocabulary, trying to translate sth, learning grammar, etc.). Sometimes it can take a bit of time to get into it, but once you're there it's easy to lose yourself in it (in my experience at least.) And you can always start another video essay in the background!

-> Baking. I usually do half or fourth the recipe to a.) waste less ingredients; b.) have less stuff to eat so you can go bake more stuff sooner; and c.) feel less bad if it doesn't turn out how you hoped. Plus you can also make yourself more likeable by giving some to your neighbours ;)

-> Comfort book/series/movie/etc. I'll be honest, this one almost never works for me, but I know that for some people it does so on the list it goes

-> Take a walk. Touch some grass. Go outside. Personally have very mixed feelings towards this one. Used to do it all the time during lockdown (walking nowhere for literal hours while listening to music), but when it doesn't help it makes things much much worse (in my experience) So maybe be a bit careful? If you want to get away from your thoughts this is...bad. But otherwise (like if you just have the feeling of anxiety without a specific reason) it's worth a try

-> Do maths. I'm serious. For a while there I couldn't sleep, so I'd go on the net, search for equasion exercises, and just go wild. Don't look at the answer: this isn't the point. It's something with a fixed procedure and no consequences if you mess up (you won't even know if you mess up). Maybe instead of equations you find long division more relaxing. Just try not to think of school, put the pressure away, and give it a go.

-> Go to your comfort place. This is also a bit of a tricky one. First of all, not everyone has one of those. Or maybe you can't really go there (like, I always calm down when I'm at the beach. I adore the ocean. But I don't have sea anywhere near me, so sucks to be me i guess). But if you do have a place near you it's worth a try. Sometimes after a particular stressful therapy session i just...go chill at the library for a while. It helps :)

-> Blorbo scrolling. I personally prefer looking at a bunch of art and comics (visual stuff) since i don't really have the concentration to read when I'm anxious, but see what works best for you <3

-> Menial tasks. I love them. Sorting stuff that actually doesn't really matter (like taking all your books from your shelves and trying a new way to organize them). The already mentioned maths exercises. Washing the dishes/putting them back in their place (you can combine that one with the baking hehe). Volunteering work can also be pretty helpful: they often need help with menial tasks plus you can feel good about yourself for helping. Recently started helping at my local animal shelter and it's actually pretty great !

-> Sports. I personally hate sports and always feel worse afterwards, but so many people talk about it that it must be of help to someone out there. What I used to do when I got suddenly overrun by emotions is taking my skipping rope and jumping as fast as I physically could til I felt a bit better (and sweaty ew)

-> Sometimes I like starting a small project; depending on the mood either with no pressure to finish (or intention to show anyone ever because eww), or posting it in hope for praise that'll make me feel a bit better about myself heh. Just something else I can focus on. (ex. g. I've got a meeting I'm nervous about tomorrow so I started writing this huge-ass post) Just remember: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GOOD!! JUST CREATE! I PROMISE BEING CREATIVE AND/OR DOING STUFF IS AWESOME!! (or if nothing else at least frustrating enough to overshadow the anxiety lol)

-> In the wise words of mother mother: Dance and cry, and cry and dance and cry. (And sing. And scream. Or get out that skipping rope. Just let it out my dude.)

-> Watch a show in a foreign language faster (like 2x speed) and with subtitles (less time to read, more required focus, less brain power to panic)

-> immersive reading (audio + text); especially effective if you do it in a language you are currently learning or one that is similar (but not the same!) to your native tongue (f. ex. portuguese and spanish)

-> Try sleeping. Doesn't always work, but at least it wastes time.

I THINK I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACK

-> Strong sudden stimulant. Like smelling a very strong perfume or taking a freezing shower.

-> Just. Let it wash over you. It sucks, yes, but it'll be over. Try keeping calm. I know, easy to say when you yourself aren't currently going through it, but anxiety about a future attack will not, in fact, make things less worse. Once again, remembering past attacks can help as well? It didn't kill you then, it won't kill you now. (My therapist suggested using a mental image, like huge waves or something. I personally don't do that but maybe it'll help)

-> Cover your ears and listen to your heart. Key point: this is NOT aiming to drown out noise, but to ground yourself by listening to your own body (bloodstream and creaking bones etc) (ty anon <3)

-> I'm not sure whether this'll work with panic attacks as well (according to google one of the key differences is that these don't really have a trigger and just....happen) and it probably won't be viable in every situation. But just. Be enough of a spiteful little shit to turn your breakdown into a powermove. (The distressing emotions are there anyways might as well make use of them). You told your teacher you get extreme anxiety when you have to speak in public and they ignored you because the school system actually hates kids? Look them right in the eyes as you start hysterically sobbing so they feel really bad, maybe be extra subdued the next few lessons. As far as you know it'll get you a few pity points that'll make a difference in your overall grade! (Pretty sure I got a better grade in my arts finals than i deserved) Someone knowingly breaks a boundary you set because "oh you've been doing so well" and "it's an irrational fear so it isn't real anyways" or whatever they tell themselves to justify it? This is your chance to make them really see how what they did is wrong (and hopefully will make them think twice before pulling shit like that again). If you warned them, they are literally asking for it. And it'll seem that much more impressive when you are having a good day for once and manage to get through it without one (you've earned that extra credit). Maybe I'm just a bit of a vindictive person, but reframing the narrative like that in my head gives me some semblance of control, which makes it all a bit less scary.

IT DIDN'T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE BUT IS STILL IMPORTAT

This is mostly me reminding myself that it's fine tbh. Because it is.

-> Remember that you can just do shit. I don't know how else to say this, but sometimes my anxiety makes it feel like hiding away in my room is my only option. But that's not true! There is so much stuff you can do, I'm always in awe for a while when I get this through my thick skull once again. Like, you can just go to places. You can just write to your friends. You can just start a chat with that cool mutual you're too nervous to directly interact with. You can move. You can change jobs. You can redecorate your house. You can get into a random train and only get out at the last station, wherever that may be. YOU CAN JUST DO SHIT?!?!?! ISN'T THAT FUCKING AWESOME?!!!!!!!!

-> Extreme emotions can have unpleasant physical side effects. Sweating. Body odor. No appetite and/or extreme hunger cravings (sometimes at the same time??). Diarrhea. It sucks (especially when it continues on for multiple days and your oh so kind peers make sure to constantly remind you of those physical symptoms you are already overly aware of). But it's normal and it's fine. It doesn't make you gross, I promise.

-> THIS TOO SHALL PASS (that's it. Sometimes it's good to remind yourself. This too shall pass.)

-> Sometimes I just do small harmless shit to prove my anxious lizard brain wrong. Randomly say hi on that group chat you haven't entered for months. Create something you aren't really happy with and post it anyways, just cuz you can. Go do something on your own. The more you prove your fears wrong with little things like that, the easier it gets (especially if you have to do bigger scary stuff). Spite can be your best friend. (Plus easy way to gain more points in my mental competition hehehe)

-> Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you will fuck up. You will barely be able to say a word in the social event you forced yourself to go in order to meet cool people. You will be so obviously anxious at your friend's birthday that she will still remember that over a year later (despite your best efforts to hide it at the time). You will get an anxiety attack because of something you thought you had already gotten over months ago. And it sucks, but more importantly, it's fine. This too shall pass. This is another reason why the previous point is so important: it's harder to hold these incidents over your head if you have so many other experiences where you managed to prove yourself.

-> YOU get to decide when you want to try confronting a fear. Nobody else can do that for you, no matter how often they mention "exposure therapy" and shit (it's about the control once again. in my experience it's important for it to be your choice). Occasionally hiding away doesn't make you a failure. There are always more chances, it's never too late to start. Already mentioned it a bazillion times, but this shit is exhausting and you are well within your right to stay in your comfort zone and rest.

-> I don't know if it's just a me thing but self reminder to avoid lactose and gluten when overly anxious. (i never do but i am aware of it that should count for something)

-> gender-affirming stuff can help ^^

-> Not viable to everybody, but sometimes I just delete all social media from my phone. You can still go there through browser of course (that's where I'm actually currently writing this) but just not having the icon on the phone can already feel somewhat of a relief (social media in this case also including messaging apps like discord or WhatsApp or fucking electronic mail my beloathed). That's actually what I am planning to do immediately after posting this thing that came out a bit more personal and stream-of-conscousness than initially planned. You won't even be able to tell cuz I never tag my queues hehehe

-> mentally dunking my stupid anxious lizard brain into salt water rn. Fuck you. I'm posting this. I'm leaving my house tomorrow instead of calling in sick. I'm winning.

[nyenylon]

hiya nye!! hope you're doing good :3

looking for some OC advice if that's okay: i have an OC who has MDD, but afaik i don't have it myself and i really want to avoid harmful stereotyping or unrealistic portrayals!

was wondering if you have any tips on writing it, if there's anything specific i should know (if there's treatment, side-effects, etc.) or just anything to avoid in terms of stereotypes?

obviously don't answer this if you don't want to, it's probably very personal, and take your time if you do! i want to avoid screwing up, and while i am also going to check out articles and do my research, i also want to make sure i'm not accidentally being a prick or looking at misinformation and ask you if you have any advice :)

thank you so much! have a nice day nye, stay hydrated :D

Heeyyyy Artsy :3

I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can, but heads up I'm not professionally diagnosed or anything and am definitely not an expert on the topic, so this will just be from my personal experience

So of course maladaptive daydreaming is different for everyone, I think the most common interpretation of it is someone who might use their persona to self insert themselves into media they might like, or a personally written story. Sometimes they might be pre-written and played out (I personally believe this is what "shifters" do). A second common one might be writing a story by thinking about it as a show, where you yourself may not be involved. Many people wrote brilliant stories using this method.

My personal experience is that I can count multiple times where my maladaptive daydreaming was more prominent throughout my life, but I can't really pick it out if childhood experiences as it was kind of like the hit thing to be good at imagining when you were 5.

My standout experience with MDD is ongoing. It started five years ago and it involves myself and other people consistently. There is no change in plot or reboots, I consider these people consistent as any other person I might know. Plainly, I consider the maladaptive daydreaming characters that I have created (ocs) AND have not created to exist as people in some way, so I treat them as such.

Part of my MDD is that these people I know through my head interact with people from the real world, having casual conversations and such.

My level of focus on my MDD varies on my mental health and environment, it usually ranges from maybe 1 interaction a day to things I have planned for the day being cancelled because I'm busy daydreaming. My daydreaming friends will often grow distressed if I don't speak to them for long periods of time. Some of them (my ocs) fear that they'd cease to exist, while others may fear their friends could disappear, including me.

Something well known for MDD is repetitive motions, personally I find my stims outside of MDD are larger and more noticable, while I'm daydreaming sometimes my repetitive motions will be spinning a pen or something as miniscule as timed blinking or eye movement. It's like keeping pace to me, like they tell you to associate a smell with sleeping if you have a hard time sleeping. The motions help keep me focused on my daydreams.

I don't like closing my eyes when I daydream, but I do like dark rooms. I also prefer background noise. It's also well known people like to listen to music while they daydream, and I do, but the noise doesn't have to be music. It just has to be constant and have some kind of pattern that I can tune out to. The noise helps distract me from what I see visually!

I haven't researched treatment because recently I've been quite good at regulating my daydreams, and in the past it's been a fear of mine. I think the only treatment there would be for MDD is finding other coping mechanisms.

As for side effects, I'm not sure what would qualify. I can get angry at daydreams the same way I would anything else, same goes for every emotion. Sometimes it just makes my mood seem out of place, I think. I also think it's obvious when I'm daydreaming, because people usually poke me or wave a hand in front of my face (THIS IS SO ANNOYING DON'T DO THIS I'M DAYDREAMING FOR A REASON). MDD sometimes restricts my real life experiences, socializing, sometimes makes me forget meals, it also makes my memory of everything worse, instead replaced by memories of daydreams. MDD is something that I deal with, while I know it's a negative thing it's something that I don't have any desire to detach myself from. That's a scary idea to me, so I suppose that's a side effect in itself.

As far as writing a character with MDD goes, you'd have to know what they were daydreaming about first. A lot of the rest of the traits, such as what noise or actions they use, would be down to their other characteristics. If I was going to avoid something, it would be to not make everything they daydream about separate to reality. Almost everyone I've known with MDD has integrated their realities in some way, whether it be having their persona personality shine through, their daydreams interact with people around them, writing about it, drawing or infodumping. Of course this might not be everyone, but I think it also depends how private of a person they are. People who have MDD tend to know they're creating something complex.

Thanks for asking me Artsy, again, this is just from personal experiences. Hope this helped! :3

[clovermunson]

here’s a tamer one:

gimme all your unpopular stranger things opinions, pretty please!!

sav, bestie you know i love being controversial (sometimes) and i know that some of these may get me tumblr-cancelled or cause a fandom riot because most of them will be about billy (and by extension, max), but that’s not my problem.

billy and max genuinely cared about each other. i know, some of you are gonna look at that and say “how the fuck is that true??” but trust me. it is. both of them were forced into a shitty situation, and often took things out on each other because they were both misguided and trying to navigate things on their own. neil and susan obviously favored max, often neglecting billy and making him grow up on his own and way too fast. he was handling full-fledged adult responsibilities by the time he was sixteen, and he shouldn’t have been. now while i think susan may have tried to evenly delegate her attention to both kids, neil completely prohibited that under some false pretense such as “billy needs to grow up” or “he doesn’t need a mother anymore”. any time max screwed up, billy was left to deal with it instead of neil and susan handling it themselves, like parents should, not older siblings (though i believe had it not been for neil, susan would’ve taken care of max herself— i have some very complicated opinions on susan, but that’s another story). every time billy acted out in violence, it was a defense and survival mechanism for him; and he probably did it quite often to protect max because he cared for her, and for the fact that if he didn’t, he’d face neil’s wrath for the nth time (i.e.: the fight at byers’ home with steve— which, in billy’s defense, was totally justified from his point of view). anyway, max and billy cared about each other in their own weird little way.

more on the topic of billy, he wasn’t racist and he didn’t target or dislike lucas simply because he was black. that’s just a bullshit reason that 98% of the fandom uses to justify why they hate billy because they couldn’t read context clues and use some critical thinking skills. he disliked lucas because he witnessed lucas and max arguing in the school parking lot, and lucas was upsetting max— and billy knew that it would be his ass if neil found out about it.

i think the whole “girlboss” angle they’re trying to do with nancy kinda sucks and it’s ruining her character. she was definitely a stronger character in season 2 than any other season.

the series started with will, and it should end with will. i said what i said.

max stabbing billy with a needle and syringe with no idea what was in it is not the girlboss moment y’all think it is. what was in that syringe could’ve killed him for all anyone knew.

the sauna scene was genuinely billy begging for max to help him because he didn’t know what was going on, until it wasn’t, and max knew that was billy and not the mindflayer.

speaking of the whole mindflayer thing, y’all can’t tell me that max didn’t genuinely care about billy when she said “i really hope it’s not you” in reference to the party suspecting that billy was the host.

oh and in season two when billy’s “threatening” to run over the boys?? y’all are delusional for thinking he really would lmao he’s an older brother and older brothers mess with their sisters like that. and he’s a seventeen year old with a cool, fast car. there’s no way he was gonna willingly get himself a vehicular homicide charge in a bumfuck town in indiana. y’all are dumb as shit for thinking he would. and did y’all notice when max grabbed the wheel and made the car swerve to avoid hitting them? billy could’ve easily gone against her force and kept the car on course, but he didn’t.

stancy shippers are essentially romanticizing a toxic relationship between two people who very clearly want different things for themselves and could never actually work, from a logical and realistic viewpoint.

on that note, stancy should not happen in season five. or ever again for that matter. fight me about it.

karen wheeler’s actions in season three can’t be justified. i’m not even gonna argue on this one with anyone because y’all know what happened. sure she chose her family in the end, but she was really about to go hook up with a freshly-18 year old man while being in her 40s…absolutely not, ma’am. don’t even get me started on the other pool-lurking moms.

it’s game night, send one of these!

[characteroulette]

A study on prosecutors -- (previous) (next)

Let's get into the weeds of the Investigations games.

Judging any of the prosecutors in the Investigations games, Edgeworth included, is a difficult thing to do. We're not privy to their style of prosecuting, after all, since the whole game takes place outside of any trials. I guess this shows how much stock I take from said trials, but it is a core mechanic to the Ace Attorney series, so I feel justified on that one. Judging a prosecutor from half of the usual info makes things a bit of a harder sell to me, they really missed an opportunity to get us into the courtroom properly.

But I digress. Let's go down the list.

First off, Jacques Portsman. He's a first case villain for sure, as we know he committed the crime and his over the top performance is really grating. I kinda never believed him when he claimed to be a prodigy or some up and coming star because of that, though. Like, sir, you're a first case murderer. You're not that hard to crack, especially as the game has to tutorialise everything for us.

His being pretty awful is kinda the point, however. Here is one of many prosecutors whom Edgeworth has to work alongside in the office. He's as corrupt and ruthless as anyone else, he's another in the many who believe that winning and making a name for themselves is all that matters in the world of the law. He's a symptom of the way the law operates in this world, far from the cause. That's at least one fascinating aspect to him.

It's yet another show of how Manfred could have gotten away with his forty year streak without anyone so much as batting an eye at it.

Speaking of, let's dig into Manfred a bit deeper, seeing as he's the only other prosecutor we really meet in the first game. (Faraday gets like one line before he dies, so I can't really count him.) He's acting Edgeworth's superior here, no matter how much Edgeworth refers to him as his mentor. This is a disconnect that always struck me about what we get to see of their interactions; Edgeworth really does respect Manfred from the bottom of his heart. He sees Manfred as someone who helped him find structure and strength in his life after what happened to his father. But Manfred doesn't return that respect at all. Really, a lot of how Manfred speaks to Edgeworth here reads as condescending, and that's before he goes off about how worthless Edgeworth is. His promise of an hour of recess is also one that stood out to me; he expects Edgeworth to partake in some of the dirtier tactics that he (and Franziska) might. He's leaving that option open for Edgeworth to do whatever necessary to get his guilty verdict, to prove himself a perfect von Karma. It doesn't end up happening because we have to preserve continuity -- I mean, the trial gets cancelled due to murder shenanigans, but it's a detail that's always stood out to me.

We get a lot more intriguing a look into Manfred's character in the second Investigations game. He adores his wife to the point of proclaiming her the best chef in the world. That's weirdly humanising for him!! And he loves his daughter, too, even if he's not very good at showing it. He may be a wicked man, but it wasn't actually by his own hand that he had to tamper with evidence. Hell, maybe that's why Gregory was able to call him out. (He forged a WHOLE BODY and that'll forever be hilarious to me.) (Well, an autopsy report. Same difference.) What I would GIVE to be able to see the actual trials between Gregory and Manfred, with Gregory struggling to find any hold and Manfred acting composed while also hoping his evidence doesn't get called out. It had to be one hell of a battle, Gregory isn't one to go down without a fight.

Anyway, Byrne Faraday. I figure I might give a bit of a thought on him from what we can extrapolate.

Kay loved him dearly and he was definitely doing his best by her. That promise notebook they had between them is so sweet, the man was trying his best to be a good dad. He had some level of corruption, though, considering he was one foot to the Yatagarasu. Sure, it was more for justice than our usual prosecutor fare, but he was still cheating to get guilty verdicts. Even if his corruption swung the other way than where we're used to seeing, it shows he was willing to get his hands dirty for his justice. It shows his lack of faith in the legal system he was a part of, another symptom to this dark age. (As an aside, these two games are the true lead-in to Dual Destinies. Not Apollo Justice. You want the themes and points of DD to ring stronger or truer at all? Play the Investigations games before going into DD, it'll all make more sense that way. Or, as much sense as it can make.)

It is fun seeing how much they have to strain to get us to like Faraday, though. At least, I feel he's supposed to be likeable, since they focus on him being a good dad and not the fact that he was working behind the scenes to help rig his trials. A perfect contrast to Manfred, whom the games don't even try to make likeable since we all know what becomes of him in the end. And yet they put in just enough to get you to see him as less a monster than you might have. (The Inga solution! It works on me every time!!)

Also funny that there are only two new prosecutors introduced in the first Investigations game and they're both basically bit parts. Because then we get into the second game and meet our more traditional opposing prosecutor, Sebastian Debeste.

Ahh, Yumihiko Ichiyanagi. A mess of a child. Starts out pompous and believing he's always right because that's what everyone around him is forced to say to him. He's a nepotism baby, his dad's the Chief of the Prosecutorial Investigation Committee, after all. He's a brat and a pest and he's also so stupid you find yourself wondering how the hell he managed to get his badge in the first place.

Well, this is a world of dumbasses, you suppose. How else could simple logic be a superpower? You move on and concern yourself more with whom you suspect to be the true villain pulling the strings here, Justine Courtney.

Her subtle pushes and buttering Sebastian up are near sinister. It's like she's using him as a mouthpiece at times, a way to get her own goals and work done here. She wants to seemingly destroy Edgeworth, nearly singularly focuses on this goal at times, and you can't help but find pity for Sebastian being caught up in her scheme. He's seventeen and it shows far more on him than it does on Klavier or Franziska. He's floundering while everyone simply congratulates him on a job while done, unable to save him from those depths, that darkness.

What is the point of using this boy as a smokescreen, you wonder. How can parading him around be worth any of his foolishness?

Then we meet Blaise and realise, oh. He really was just a pawn in the grander scheme. He was a way to get closer to the true villain. He was merely getting in the way, being a foolish and stupid child, of everyone's true goals.

Franziska whips him and he doesn't even protest. He shouts out in pain like everyone else, but he never once tells her to stop. He just takes it, doesn't think of his usual profession of being the best.

He just takes it.

From that small detail alone, I couldn't help but immediately worry for him.

Justine shows her hand at last. Even if she had come to care for Sebastian, she's out to strike Blaise down no matter what. Blaise is the one behind that one strike against Manfred's reputation, he's behind this whole smuggling ring, he's everyone's antagonist as we all converge on this one point. Sebastian tries to stick up for his father, but even that lends to our favour. He gets in the way once more, he slips up just enough to give us what we need, and his father reveals to him in the cruellest possible way that everything he thought he's accomplished has been a total lie. He couldn't even be a worthy pawn to his father. He's a failure, through and through.

And Edgeworth gets to be the one to help him stand back up on his own two feet.

I cannot stress enough just how excellent an idea it was to have our final logic chess game be against Sebastian. How we have to use it more as a way to break through all that despair and anguish instead of for our own gain. Edgeworth being able to be a voice of strength for Sebastian, being able to offer this boy you thought your enemy for most of the game a spot of hope, is so good. It's exactly taking the lessons behind what made Edgeworth himself so good in the first game, at least in my opinion.

And we get to see bits of an actual trial!! We get to play assistant as Sebastian stands up to his father in one of the most hype scenes ever!! I'm so proud of this fail boy who came such a long way. A crybaby who, with the help of those actually willing to back him up and show him the right way instead of propping him up with false praise, is able to stand his ground and prove his father the villain he is.

He breaks that chain of legacy tying so many of our Ace Attorney characters down. Holy shit we were robbed this game, actually, huge shout out to the translation team who allowed us all to experience this cathartic moment.

[jjsanguine]

Rules: list 10 of your comfort shows and then tag 10 people

Tagged by @bengiyo . I actually don't rewatch shows very often, or at least not the same ones every time, but here's some shows I've watched a lot of in no particular order.

Alien Biospheres. This is a YouTube series but I've watched it a lot. If you watched James Cameron's Avatar and don't care about the plot but would watch a documentary on how they designed the creatures + plants this is the webseries for you. If you like spec bio then I would also recommend Serina.

Cherry Magic. I write songs for fun and my life is too boring to be great inspiration, so most of them reference scenarios in shows I'm watching that I find funny or just stick with me for some reason. Kurosawa's personality inspired one of my best ones.

Coffee Prince. This got me into kdrama + so much of it still holds up. Like, remember how homophobic the 2000s were? That's a feat.

The King's Affection. This is like the best girl disguises as a guy kdrama since Coffee Prince, and I watched a lot of them before I figure out I was nonbinary. I was glued to my seat. My writing project @the-prince-is-not-a-woman was partially inspired by me watching this so many times.

Mortel. It's like this show was made for me. Vodun, found family, polyamorus subtext, mystery, despising someone but having noone else to turn to, trauma, comedy, banger music. It was made by Netflix though, so of course it was cancelled on a cliffhanger.

Power Rangers 2017. This film is objectively goofy but I love it so much. Billy was the first explicitly autistic character I think I saw ever, and he set my expectations for canonically autistic characters high.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Apart from being a good show, Attorney Woo is the only other character on my list of canonically autistic characters that I like, which is funny because both attorney Woo and Billy were played by allistic actors.

The Path. I enjoyed seasons 1 & 2 but I've rewatched season 3 many times for my baby Caleb. I talked about a pastor's son and he's like the perfect example. If the show hadn't tragically been cancelled I would have loved to see what they did with his character, because after leaving his family for his boyfriend and by extension his boyfriend's daddy's apocalypse adjacent cult (which is a positive if you can believe it) socially speaking he was essentially in the same position he started off in, minus worrying about homophobia. He could have blossomed or spiralled, who knows. That's quality side character creation. This show also inspired the list "cheating on your girlfriend with your wife" which has to be the best of my lists of niche tropes.

Triage: time travel and time loop stories can so easily swerve into being terrible when there isn't enough thought put into the time travel mechanic but when they're good they're really good.

Shelter 2007: so many of the queer films I watched as a teenager were depressing, I could have given up on ql entirely if I didn't watch this heartwarming film.

Honourable mentions:

Be My Favourite. It finished airing literally 2 months ago so it really hasn't had time to gain the status of old reliable but yeah. I've watched episode 1 probably 10 times at this point, because I would pore over the whole show waiting for the next episode. I was writing essays.

Nowhere Boys: I love forced proximity + conspirationality. It's one of the reasons I love Mortel. It's a quality teen drama.

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir, aka Miraculous Ladybug. This show is my Riverdale. It's ridiculous and I don't recommend it and I can't watch the english dub because I'd cringe too much so I watch it in French, but I started watching when I was like 15 so I'm locked in forever. It keeps dragging me back.

Going to try my hand at actually tagging people so,,,

@anotherlovr @writerwithoutsound @dudeyuri @irritablebovinesyndrome @gillianthecat @threezoz @sparklyeyedhimbo @respectthepetty @one-ghogh@heretherebedork

[heliads]

Tasm!Peter x m!reader who is just as smart if not smarter than Peter, both of them being busy with their own stuff they are never available when the other is so that obviously pushes them away from each other until they eventually break up. With the breakup reader devoted his attention to his work and made something out of himself and is now very successful and super rich, and bumps into Peter one day and you can take it from here I suppose 🧪💞 you already know

combined with this request: "Male reader x Tasm Peter, reader cancels a date due to work or something related to it and Peter saying it’s fine but it’s not really fine and Peter has an outburst saying “I just want you”."

masterlist

You and Peter Parker may not work out. It is a sad truth, yes, but it is the truth, and you have always been in favor of that. If you look at the facts, they do not lie. At some point, you and Peter are going to fracture past the point of no return. It feels as if that moment is growing closer by the hour. 

Hell, it may even happen today. You had a sinking feeling all afternoon that you were forgetting something, a sensation that only worsened when evening came and went to find you still in your lab. It’s not your fault, not really; science has a way of taking up more time than you would like, and your work is important. 

Still, it wasn’t until you finally made it out of the lab and back home when the revelation hit you. Namely, it was the sight of your irritated boyfriend leaning outside your door, coat off and twisted around his hands as if he had been waiting for hours, that finally made your brain connect all the dots. Tonight was date night. Or, tonight would have been date night, but you missed it by at least two hours.

You suck in a breath at the sight of him. Peter has always been good at attracting melancholy and hopelessness, a magnet for the unwanted sort of luck that would have anyone else knocking on wood or throwing salt over their shoulder. Still, you never counted on being a part of that misfortune yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you offer up by way of hello, “it totally slipped my mind, I swear. I’ll be better next time. I’ll even set an alarm on my phone,” you joke, but Peter doesn’t crack a smile and your halfhearted laughter fades off into the whir of the air conditioning unit three doors down.

You can’t look straight at him when he’s like this, so you opt to shuffle your key into the lock, twisting it a bit more harshly than necessary so you don’t have to jiggle it back and forth like the shoddy mechanism usually demands. Straightening up, you gesture somewhat unceremoniously for Peter to enter first. He does so without another word, plunking a wilting bouquet of flowers onto your kitchen table. The thud of the mildewy petals against the wood makes you flinch.

It is not your fault, all of this, just as it is not Peter’s fault that he cannot make you stay, that either of you are so incapable of finding time for each other that your paths only ever meet in half-dark hallways or empty chairs at restaurants booked weeks earlier. Between your work in the lab and Peter’s habit of perusing the darkened city alleyways as Spider-Man, neither of you have much time for anything else. 

Even for each other, as it turns out. You can’t recall the last time the two of you were able to speak more than a few hurried lines over text or voicemail. That was the whole point of tonight, after all– both of you were so fed up with missing each other that you staged tonight’s date as an intervention. It would have been a good idea were it not for the fact that you totally forgot about it.

Peter is standing behind a chair, knuckles curled around the back. He meets your gaze from across the kitchen and it occurs to you that you should look for a bigger apartment. The ceiling is much too low to contain the sort of bitterness radiating off of Peter at the moment.

“I called your phone six times,” he announces, “they all went unanswered.”

“I was in the lab,” you plead, “you know I can’t touch my phone. I did enough biosafety cabinet trainings to learn that lesson.”

Peter grunts, unimpressed. “You could have found a way. You’ve done that before.”

You glance away, opting to train your attention on the moth beating itself senseless on your window as opposed to the boyfriend still staring at you with such disappointment only a few paces beside you.

“It’s just one night,” you excuse yourself, “things happen, we get past them. Can’t we just schedule another date? I swear I’ll make that one.”

“What,” says Peter slowly, “because you’ve learned your lesson now? That’s not how this works, Y/N, and you know it. We’ve been steadily missing dates for months. This one was supposed to fix things. It didn’t.”

You grimace. “I know that, Peter. I know, and I’m sorry, but I was busy. Lab doesn’t have a strict schedule and you know that. I can’t dive in and out of work whenever I want.”

“And I can?” Peter finishes your unspoken thought. “That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it? Photography is way easier to manage than your lab.”

You sigh. “If you want to fight, Peter, just go ahead and get it over with. Us discreetly sniping at each other obviously isn’t doing what we want.”

Peter shakes his head. “I don’t want to fight, Y/N. I just want you.”

The way he says it, so desolate, so pure, makes something in you twist with anger instead of guilt. He wants you to feel bad, you can tell that just by looking at him, but you’ve felt bad for quite a long time indeed. Maybe it’s time that he feels a little bit of that as well. After all, you’re not the only one who’s ever skipped out on quality partner time.

So, you fold your arms across your chest, and fix Peter with a glare just as severe as his.

“Yeah, well, I wanted you, too. I wanted you when I came home late to an empty apartment every night because you won’t let anything come in between you and patrolling. I wanted you when I had to keep making excuses to my friends about why you weren’t there whenever we were all supposed to meet up. I wanted you at every work event, every important thing in my life when you were late. I wanted you all the time. Maybe it’s good that you know what it’s like to want me as well.”

Peter’s eyes widen, but you’re already scoffing at his sudden reversal of emotions and grabbing your keys once again. “I’m going for a walk to clear my head,” you announce.

The door closing behind you cuts off any chance at a reply, and Peter is gone when you get back. The only sign he had ever left is the window left half open, a cool breeze already putting your heater to ruin.

You break up about a week later. It is a mutual ceasefire, brought about by too many fights and too little love left to care. It still hurts like anything, of course, to see Peter gradually bringing over the boxes of belongings that used to frequent his house just as often as you once did, but it also feels like winning. Maybe this is how you get the upper hand, by pretending that you’re not remotely as affected by this as he is. Maybe you claim victory by not having to cave and apologize.

Still, arriving back home after late night after late night to an empty apartment doesn’t let the laurels rest quite as easily on your head as you had envisioned. There is no one waiting to help you make dinner or listen to you complain about the new intern who can’t seem to figure out how to parafilm aliquots of cell media without spilling half of it over the surface of your shared workstation. There is no one there at all, in fact, and that hurts far more than you could have ever imagined.

You tell yourself that this is not the worst you have ever felt, that this too shall pass, that one morning you will wake up and not automatically reach out for someone who is not there. The affirmations come true eventually, but they take far more time than you imagined. 

Even on the good days, the ones where you don’t find yourself trying to text Peter most every hour, the memory of what it was like for him to be yours still plays on loop in your mind, a stilted, half-gone recollection of a song stuck in your head. The verses may be incomplete, the melody only half there, but it still judders through your temples on repeat, unable to break free.

To distract yourself, you throw yourself into your work more than ever. It feels like justification of why you’d left, in a way:  if you come up with good results, good papers, then it shows you were right to have to keep skipping dates for this. It gives you a reason to not be in the wrong.

Soon enough, you get that eureka moment. What you had previously dismissed as a mere anomaly, cells acting strangely because they like making your life difficult or something like that, ended up being a key breakthrough to understanding how the human body takes up a certain kind of protein. It’s the sort of thing that has immense opportunities for future development, a once-in-a-lifetime kind of win.

It’s also the sort of thing that wins you a lot of money and attention. Most times, important scientific breakthroughs tend to stay in the annals of Nature magazine-style fame, well known by professionals in your field but never really breaking into the public knowledge, but your discovery is different. You end up emblazoned on the front page of newspapers and magazines, everyone clamoring to hear about just how your achievement came about.

It’s a rush, to be sure, and for a while, it is more than enough to distract you from what had become of you and Peter. It was enough, at least, until you ran into him one morning on the subway.

Neither of you were expecting it, that much is obvious. Peter looks up with wide eyes when you happen to step onto his train compartment of all compartments. You have half a moment to wonder if you could pretend you’d forgotten something and step off again before the door closes behind you and any chance of escape is gone for good.

Peter is still looking at you with that open, haunted gaze. “It’s good to see you,” he says quietly. Most of the statement is directed towards the floor, but you can tell by the roughness of his voice that he’s not merely speaking to the grimy linoleum tile.

“It’s good to see you too,” you whisper back.

It’s painfully awkward, which makes the whole experience even worse. Is this what the two of you have become, bare acquaintances who can’t even make pleasantries on a morning commute tolerable? The two of you used to know each other’s secrets backward and forward. You were the first one Peter ever told about being Spider-Man. Hell, you might have been the only one. And now here you are, swaying slightly on a speeding train, hoping only for the destination to arrive so you can get off again and escape him.

Peter flushes as if thinking the same thing, then tries again. “I read about your work in the paper,” he mentions, “it sounds really interesting.”

You smile without thinking about it. “Thanks, Peter. Honestly. I couldn’t believe it when everything first started coming out, but it seems like the whole world is super excited about what I found. It feels good.” Casting a hesitant gaze towards him, you add on: “It might make up for all those missed dates, right? If I was doing something worthwhile?”

Peter chuckles. “I always knew you were doing something worthwhile, sweetheart. This just means that other people know it too.”

Softly, daring not even to breathe lest it impede your ability to hear him on this all important topic, you dare to follow up on what you want to know the most. “Does that mean you forgive me?”

Peter smiles again, this time more sadly than before. “I forgave you months ago. I forgave you about ten minutes after you left the apartment when we fought, every single time. We’re just busy people, Y/N, and busy people don’t often work together.”

“What if we could?” You ask.

Peter exhales slowly. It takes him a few moments to collect the strength to answer you, but when he does, his grin is more courageous than before. “I think I’d like that quite a bit,” he decides at last.

“I would too,” you reply.

You do not leave the train alone that morning. Not really, even if Peter’s destination isn’t for another four stops. This time, you know that you will not have an empty house waiting for you when work finishes up tonight, but a home, and a home with someone you love lingering inside. It is enough to put a spring in your step as you walk the remaining steps to your lab. It is enough to make you want to try again.

requested by @fadedver, i hope you enjoy!

marvel tag list: @namoreno, @thatfangirl42, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv, @callsign-scully, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie, @23victoria, @watchreadfangirlrepeat, @gods-fools-heroes, @w1shes43, @deafsuperhero, @/fadedver

[larcenywrites]

hcs for what college life is like with boyfriend young!tony? even better if they're in different fields, like he's working in his mechanical/electrical engineering degree, while his girl is in a field more like international relations or business or history or something of that sort, so they get to geek out about their degrees and teach each other different stuff

AAAAH THIS!! I would give anything to share my college experience with young Tony 😫

Warnings: mild sexual references

College Life With Him

💠If you do it right, college can be a fun and unforgettable experience, full of new friends and new opportunities! But if you do it with Tony, college is also batshit crazy, slightly dangerous, and you'll probably forget half the things you learned after every other night 😵

💠Even if you go into it as responsible and chill, you're absolutely getting dragged into his mess one way or another! Try all you want to get him on a better schedule and keep him on track, he'll end up derailing you as well!

💠But you can't deny how much fun it is!

💠You may have a class or two together because he practically begs you to! Maybe you don't want a class that late or on that day, but- please? It'll be fun! He'll even drive you if that's the problem! He really does make those core classes more bearable, and it's kind of an easy A or B since he can help you with (almost) anything! He might even do the work for you... for a price, of course ;)

💠Speaking of which... while Tony gets a set amount of money from his parents each week 💅 he's a big spender. Of course this mf has a side hustle doing "tutoring." It's only called that so he doesn't get in trouble, but everyone knows he really just does all the work for a hefty sum. Most of it probably goes towards you though 😇 And obviously you get his tutoring services for free 😘 Except maybe for a "favor" or two... or maybe he'll even tutor you in some other things, free of extra charge 😉

💠But going back to classes, you may end up asking yourself why you chose to take a class with him again halfway through the semester. You love him to death, but if he's not trying to talk to you right in the middle of a lecture you already can't hear because he always wants to sit in the back (even in those auditorium classrooms and long lecture halls), he's doodling in the corner (or center 🤧) or the paper you're writing on or kicking your feet under the table! Somehow he's just so convincing. Or maybe it's the fact he'll help you out and you don't have to pair up with some random student for projects? Or maybe it's because you reallyyyy love him and want to have a schedule that perfectly fits around him so you can see each other more often :)

💠Study dates? All the time! An easy way to turn a long homework/study session into something a little more fun and cute! Sometimes they're at a cute café on the corner, but usually they're in his bed 🤫

💠Speaking of that cute café on the corner, you're there nearly every day! The workers probably know you by name, and know the things you order! It's a nice place that's usually quiet right after afternoon classes while you wait for later classes, or maybe you're just getting a late lunch. Either way, it's a nice hangout spot when the crowdedness of the drill field or campus-run cafes become a bit much, especially if you're trying to do a bit of homework or, you know, actually want to hear one another's conversation 🤧

💠You two are hardly ever separated. If you aren't at his house nearly every night, he's climbing through the window into your bedroom every other night! If you live in a dorm, he may be over some, but mostly he prefers to take you home with him 😏 He prefers the privacy and hanging out with you alone tbh, and while he may enjoy any ogling from your roommates, you might not 🤧

💠He'll even walk you to class even if his starts at the same time in a whole different building, or even sneak in when his class gets canceled! Some of those classes are big enough for no one to notice, but watch out-- he's usually feeling a little more mischievous in these situations, and may even ask the professor stupid questions that make you want to shrink into your seat...

💠Skipping class? He'll do it pretty often, but then he'll be all pouty when you skip class without him :( But considering how often you're together (and wake up together), you'll probably just be able to look at each other and decide to skip together!

💠Are there any concerts nearby? Tony is skipping a whole day to wait in that line for the pit, or even skipping if he has seat tickets. He may even literally pull you out of your class when he decides to go at the last second! Hope you don't have 8am classes the next morning!

💠Tony only has like one friend, but he knows just about everybody! More importantly, who throws the good parties and when. If you aren't a partier, he'll leave the subject alone after the first few times, and you not going will actually stop him from going! He may go to the one's before the semester starts and maybe when it ends, but he's no longer a frequent flyer. It's just not the same now that he has you and could be doing something with you instead! Like maybe raiding his father's alcohol and doing body shots with you 😏 Or maybe you're not into that at all... in which he may still do the shots part, and leave you with taking care of a drunken Tony

💠If you are a partier, or maybe just want to go once or twice to say you went to a "real college party", he'll be pretty stoked! Well, then he does start to worry a little, especially if you've never done anything like this. He knows the ones who are wild but decent, and those who are wild and shitty people, at least, so he'll be a lot more careful in choosing which ones he takes you to and be mindful of who's around😬 He won't drink nearly as much as he usually does even if you are, and you can guarantee he hovers all night instead of doing some dumb shit like jumping in the pool. Honestly, he'll probably decide it's more fun (and safer) to just have a party between yourselves back at home, and maybe that's a good thing! He's been lucky to make it home unscathed half-drunk at 3am, and unlucky enough to have sat in the sheriff's office with the others that weren't able enough to scatter away in time 😔 Plus, he's gotten into a fight or two at said parties, and you're probably tired of patching up bruised knuckles and split lips :/

💠Tony's very good at what he does and what he's learning! Honestly, you'd argue that he's well ahead of the classes he has to take and is just getting a degree because you sort of have to? He does seem to love what he does, or at the very least he just likes being good at something? You're not sure if it's what he wants to do, but he doesn't seem very pressed about it either way. However, he's very sympathetic if you aren't sure what you want to do. 2am talks about the future and where to go in life and they never seem to really solve anything? All the time, and he'll even join in! Threaten to drop out and he'll pout about you leaving him alone, and who's he going to embarrass now at graduation? Maybe he'll just drop out too! You probably make up silly back-up plans or quite literally throw darts blindly at a board to choose your major.

💠If you do know what you want to do, that's great! Tony won't really care what you do, but there are some things that will bore the hell out of him. Hey, maybe his long rants about god-knows-what bores you too! He may not really follow if you're trying to talk art and literature with him. He enjoys seeing you all excited over something, and he likes looking at art (especially if you can draw him- he'll be so puppy and excited), don't get him wrong! But, why are you so excited about a book that you can hardly keep up with? He can hardly keep up with you trying to explain the book! He'll probably do best with a history or business major, mostly. Hell yeah he wants to hear about some obscure war or hilarious monarch mishap! There's not much to really rant about with, say, accounting, but he knows math and numbers, and might enjoy helping you work or watching you! With business, he's probably more interested in law or cybersecurity. He might fuck with his dad every time he learns some new specific law and its workaround and loopholes when you're studying, or you both may get up to no good and see who can bypass the school's security systems and firewalls first 🤭

💠If you're in the same field as him, you may be a bit intimidated! He's pretty far ahead, and so effortlessly finishes work way before you do. However, you'll be able to take even more classes together, and doing projects together for class will usually be fun! Except he knows other ways to do it that you haven't learned about, and might try to take over a lot... so it might be best if you don't take too many 😅 Unless you just want that easy A. Also, he might, might, let you help out with his bigger personal projects, especially after seeing how you do with class assignments, and you might even be able to offer a new perspective! Hey, at least you can keep up with most of his tangents and know what he's doing!

💠He also wasn't kidding after all when he said he'd be the loudest one at your graduation, whether it's with him or not 😳 He's also going to celebrate more than you, even if you're the only one of you walking that day! You may end up taking care of a drunk Tony again at 2 in the afternoon 😅

💠But since he graduates Summa Cum Laude, whether you like it or not, you'll end up in his silly little speech at graduation ❤ Don't worry, it's mostly sweet 🙄😘

All About Study Dates

[borom1r]

1, 8, 17, 18, 20, 41, 45, 54, 93 for the non-fandom asks, 1, 3, 5-7, 12, 18-22, 24 for the fandom asks 🫡👀

THIS HAS BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG + I ANSWERED IT IB MY NOTES AND JUST FUCKING FORGOT TO POST IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA

1. whats your favorite thing in your room?

plush boromir:3 hes so Shaped

8. favorite coping mechanism?

uuuuuuuuuuu noise cancelling headphones + loud music

17. do you want any tattoos? if so, where, what, and why?

YES. I want to get one on my upper arm — there’s an artist I really like who’s done free-to-use art + im going to get a piece of his tattooed w/ kennings for Óðinn and Þórr above + below

18. whats the most prominent dream youve had?

I still vividly remember this dream I had in high school where my alarm for school went off, I got up and went to start making myself toast and fucking. Michael Myers walks up from the basement (the garage door/basement stairs were just off the kitchen) + we stared at each other and my only thought before my Actual alarm went off was “damn, guess I better make more toast”

20. whats your ideal date?

REN FEST!!!!!!! unironically my local fest hosts weddings and I would. really really like to get married there in full armor. even if it’s just for tax benefits smjfjdjjfjdj

41. if you could announce one thing to the world what would it be?

WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF!!!!!!

45. do you prefer book over movie?

depends :3 ummmm a lot of times I think there are pros n cons to both mediums. sometimes I love a movie but also think the book is WAY better even if the movie is a masterpiece in its own right (a clockwork orange… cutting off the original ending to the book completely fucks the point of the story I think. I adore that movie but if you’ve never read the book…. 😑)

54. whats your best hottake?

my BEST????? idfk dude. my CURRENT hot take is that the changes the made to Faramir’s character for the movie were Good, Actually

93. whats your favorite item of clothing?

wolf hat :3 AND my leather jacket w all my patches

1. What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

uuuuu like active online a part of… probs like. idek dude probably the fucking Warriors (1979 movie not cat books)

3. All-time favorite pairing?

I’m a spangel truther and I have been since middle school, so ig that

5. Favorite platonic pairing?

big fan of Boromir&Éowyn like obvs Boromir&Faramir + Théodred&Éomer&Éowyn bc they are Family but if we’re talking non-blood relations then I think Boromir&Éowyn is an excellent platonic pairing

6. Favorite headcanon?

I’ve almost called Boromir a faggot multiple times on instinct, so that. also transgender Faramir (what direction? you decide. they contain multitudes < I personally adore a he/they/te transmasc. I think te and Aragorn should both be allowed to use Sindarin pronouns. get funky with it)

7. Least favorite headcanon?

HRM. there are SOME utterly rancid takes from my SAW fandom days that I still think abt. evil. I shan’t speak of those times in public.

12. Craziest thing you've ever done as part of a fandom?

uh. idk?? I used to run a rlly popular ask blog for the characters of The Warriors (1979) that I believe is still out there?? lmao ok yea it is i just checked. that’s so funny that it’s still out there actually snfksjfjjs

18. All-time favorite fanfic?

that I’ve READ or that I’ve WRITTEN????

to read, literally anything Connor @angeltrapz has written but I’ll specifically drop this Princess Bride fic💗 https://archiveofourown.org/works/41272767?view_adult=true (TUMBLR WONT LET ME ACTUALLY LINK THE FIC EVIL AND HATEFUL. I can paste it + it generates a link tho. functioning fucking app)

fav that I’ve written…. highkey this one

19. Fanfic you read again and again?

other people’s fics?? this whole series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/183362

my own fics? literally any of my Faramir/Éomer fics that pairing is so fun

20. All-time favorite fanfic author?

CONNOR ANGELTRAPZ MY BESTIE!!!!!!!! also YOU duh????? ik it’s not fanfic Technically but like. BOY the rp is. creative project of all time perhaps?

21. Favorite fic trope?

i am a weak bitch for a good soulmate au. esp when there’s like. drama. im not exposing myself just know i think abt soulmate aus A Lot. < can u tell this has been sitting in my notes for A While lmfao

22. Least favorite fic trope?

idek???? I think any trope can be Done Well like I don’t normally enjoy chatfics but I’ve also read. some really good chatfics!! write what u love who cares

24. Funniest fandom-related story?

I’m gonna be so real w u I got into drama w a Lost Boys fandom mogul bc I was. A Homosexual and A Kinnie and they were NOT happy abt the fact I was like “yea all the lost boys are fucking.” I didn’t even know what to say abt that really. take it up w famously gay director Joel Schumacher if you don’t like me. A NOTORIOUS FAGGOT. going “yea I think these characters in a film directed by a gay man are gay”

this exact situation has happened to me 3 times across various fandoms. <- is just trying to sit in my little kinnie corner + be a weird fag in peace

[stardustandash]

Enter The Wild - Linked Universe

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort

Chapter 1  

The band of Heroes find themselves in a Hyrule of ruins and relics and about one hundred years too late. Or maybe, they came just at the right time.

Yet another "gang meets Wild" fic

AO3

The shift had been fast and dramatic. One minute the group was walking through a market in Sky’s Hyrule, and the next they were standing in the middle of a big, empty field. Well, it wasn’t completely empty. There were strange large stones that were rather uniform in shape popping out of the long grass and the ruins of stone buildings standing derelict and sad. To top it off, they had gone from a bright, sunny day to a cold drizzling rain. The group all stared around then at each other.

“Ok, anyone going to pipe up and say they recognize this, or?” asked Warriors.

“Definitely not mine,” said Wind. “Twilight?��

“Nope, not mine either.”

“Then I think we’re about to find another Link,” said Time. “Alright, we know the drill now, find the nearest town, ask around for the Hero, and don’t be suspicious.”

The last was tacked on with a pointed look to Four and Wind.

“But first, we’re going to find some shelter and wait out this rain?” asked Sky hopefully.

There were sounds of agreement all around, and so the group set off. Their boots slipped and caught in the mud as they stepped across the field. At first, everything seemed fairly normal, but as the group continued Time couldn’t help feel more and more nervous about this Hyrule. There were animals in the tall grass that darted away from the group as they passed, but there were no other travellers to speak of. Hell, there was not even a sign of civilization aside from the ruins that shadowed them across the field. Time looked to the others and saw the growing discomfort on their faces as well. Legend was biting his lip as he surveyed a stone wall, taking in the crumbling stones at the base. No one made a sound as they walked, not even to laugh when Hyrule’s boot got stuck in the mud and was stuck hopping on one foot until he could free it.

Eventually their search for shelter was cancelled out by the downpour lessening and the clouds lightening overhead. The group could see farther now, and found themselves to be in a large valley basin. The rain was just easing off and the sun was beginning to peek through the clouds when they got their first sight of civilization. Smoke curled into the sky from a point out of sight behind a hill. They could also see two tall peaks stretching skyward and lost among the last of the rainclouds. The beauty of the landscape and the sign of living people lifted their hearts as the group set off with a new energy in their steps.

“Hey guys, I don’t think these are just stones. Come look at this!” called Wind as he scrambled up the side of one of the uniform rocks.

Indeed, as Time got closer and with the light of the sun he could make out swirling patterns carved into the rock and though it was half-buried there were four visible tendril like appendages sticking out of it. It looked like some kind of mechanical monster.

So of course Four had scurried ahead and was now trying to it out.

“Careful Four, we don’t want to accidentally wake it up,” said Time.

“I just want to see if its mechanical or magic!”

“Think you could get it running again?” asked Hyrule. “Wonder what they were all for?”

Time sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. These kids were going to be the death of him. He sincerely hoped that whoever this Hyrule’s Link was, he would be calm, patient, and practical. Even if they could wake up one of these creatures, there was nothing saying that it would be at all friendly. Better to learn about this world first before messing with potentially important or evil beings.

“We should get a move on. It may have stopped raining, but we should still find shelter for the night and start asking questions,” said Time. When Wind and Four started pouting he added: “We can ask about these things too. Someone around here must know something about them.”

“Yes!”

“Fine, but I’m taking this,” said Four, holding up a large, strange looking screw before pocketing it.

The group continued on, passing the strange mechanical creatures where they sat quietly in the dirt. As Time’s eyes spotted the top of a strange looking structure over the rise, Warriors spotted something else.

Planted in the ground were several long-rusted weapons. Just the right size for a Hylian and near to both one of the strange creatures and a ruined wall.

“Something happened in this Hyrule. Something bad,” said Warriors as he took another look around the field. “This was a battlefield, a long time ago if these weapons are to judge. Wherever the Hero is, he’s got one hell of a mess on his hands.”

He absently picked up one of the rusted swords and gave it an experimental swing. The blade snapped off and nearly hit Sky, who was yanked out of the way by Hyrule.

“Nice,” snarked Legend.

“Shut up,” said Warriors. “I’m just proving my point, these weapons are ancient.”

“Come on, we’re nearly there. Unless you want to replace your weapons with rusted out equivalents?” said Time.

Truth be told he was just as unsettled from the untouched battleground this Hyrule seemed to be. And he was doubly glad Four hadn’t found some way to turn the creatures on, as Time was starting to have the sneaking suspicion that they were responsible for the ruins and the abandoned weapons.

The thoughts of what could’ve happened in this world swirled around his head for the rest of their walk. He was so lost in thought it took Twilight gently shoving his shoulder to realize they had reached their destination.

It was not civilization.

At least, not in the sense that Time, or any of the others thought of it. Instead of a village or a collection of huts, they had come across one very large, very strange tent. It was shaped vaguely like a horse. He had the brief thought of Malon laughing her head off at the structure and it sent a burst of longing through his heart. Though the tent was strange, the people milling about near it were not. Hylians, and a few others of the various folk of Hyrule were going about their business in the area. Most noticeably a large rito man with blue feathers playing an accordion. Still, there were less than ten people by Time’s count. Not enough for a village. But a few waved at the group as they approached, and a friendly man called from behind a wood counter.

They quickly learned the friendly man’s name, Tasseren, and that he owned this particular stable. Out of how many he did not say, but he promised the beds here were softer than any of the rest. With the sun getting low in the sky the group pooled their rupees and settled in for the night. After their walk it was no surprise when Sky and Wind practically jumped into their beds and were softly snoring only minutes later. It was only a matter of time before the others crawled into their own beds, armour and weapons resting at the ready on the ground nearby.

Time let them get comfortable under their warm blankets before walking back out into the night. A few people were still up, mostly talking with each other over the cook fire nearby the actual stable part of the structure. Across the nearby river a blue structure glowed brightly, its light rippling across the moving water to touch the opposite bank. Time settled himself against the wall of the tent looking out over the field with the strange stone structures. This Hyrule was unsettling. Peaceful, but unsettling.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Time would be lying if he said the question didn’t surprise him in the stillness of the night. He turned quickly, reaching for a sword that was left next to his bed inside when he found Twilight grinning down at him.

“You neither, Pup?”

“No. Something about this place makes me uneasy. The whole field smells, well, like death,” said Twilight as he sat down next to time. He leaned against Time’s arm as his eyes stared out across the shadowy field. In the dark Time couldn’t make out more than a few dark shapes in the grass, but he knew Twilight’s eyes were better than his.

“We’ll get some answers, Pup. And hopefully the Hero here has it all in hand. After all, the rest of us joined up after our adventuring days were done,” said Time, not without a touch of bitterness. None of them had asked to go on another adventure. The only upside was that this time none of them were alone on their journey.

“Ah, did I hear you mention a hero?” asked an unfamiliar voice. Both Time and Twilight looked up at the newcomer. It was the rito man with the accordion from their arrival. “I know a song about the Champion, if you’d like to hear it.”

Time and Twilight shared a look. Would information actually just fall into their laps? It couldn’t be that easy.

Kass misinterpreted their look. “Sorry for eavesdropping, but all of you young men remind me of a friend of mine. Same sort of looks, you all could be family.”

“It’s fine,” said Time. “And yes, we would like to hear your song.”

Time hoped that the rito’s friend was in fact, the hero they were looking for.

“Excellent! Ah, before I start, my name is Kass. I’m a bard from Rito Village.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Kass,” said Time.

Kass nodded, and took a deep breath before beginning an upbeat, yet sad tune. His voice followed the dance of the melody as he sang low and sweet.

“An ancient hero, a Calamity appears, Now resurrected after 10,00 years.

Her appointed knight gives his life, Shields her figure, and pays the price. The princess’ love for her fallen knight awakens her power, and within the castle the Calamity is forced to cower. But the knight survives! In the Shrine of Resurrection he sleeps, Until from his healing dream he leaps!

For Fierce and deadly trials await. To regain his strength. Fulfil his fate.

To become a hero once again! To wrest the princess from evil’s den.

The hero, the princess -hand in hand- Must bring the light back to this land.”

Kass let the final note trail off into the sounds of the night. For a moment the three of them sat entranced in the dark before Time and Twilight caught up with what the words of the song were telling them.

“Wait, so the hero of this land is in this Shrine of Resurrection?” asked Twilight.

Kass blinked down at them in surprise before his features gentled into a strange smile.

“It’s just a song. Everyone knows the Champion died protecting Princess Zelda one hundred years ago. The Shrine of Resurrection is real enough. I have a traveler friend who told me he visited it once, if you’re interested in seeing it.”

Time felt his heart sink. Why would Hylia bring them all to this Hyrule now, with their Link 100 years dead. Maybe they had to fix it all themselves now, was that it? On top of fighting the darkness they had to save this Hyrule?

“What’s this Calamity in the song?” asked Time, hoping it wasn’t too strange of a question to ask.

From the look he got, it was a very strange question.

“Are you boys trying to say you haven’t seen the castle in the last hundred years?” said Kass. “Have you been living in the clouds?”

Time’s heart raced as he tried to think of a convincing lie.

“Our parents were very protective. Its our first time out of the village,” offered Twilight when Time failed to think of anything suitable.

Kass was apparently still not convinced when the sound of hooves on the road captured all three of their attention. Coming down the road from the west was a pale white horse, its coat gleaming in the moonlight. On its back was a dark shadow of a rider.

“Ah, it’s my friend,” said Kass. “The one who has been to the Shrine of Resurrection.”

Unconvincing lies forgotten, Kass moved towards the road to greet his friend. Time stood to get a better look at the stranger and felt Twilight do the same beside him. They watched as the stranger rode up and dismounted smoothly in front of the stable. He gave his horse a quick pat before waving at Kass in greeting. The stranger’s face was mostly hidden by the dark cloak he wore and the shadows no matter how Time strained his eyes to work.

“Hello to you too, my friend. Are you well?”

The stranger shrugged and raised the hand not holding the reins of his horse. “I’ve been better. Blood moon a few nights ago, had to clear the roads again.”

Time was a bit taken aback to see the stranger signing. At least Kass understood, or seemed to.

“That’s too bad. Would hearing a song before you sleep cheer you up?”

The stranger nodded, and motioned to his horse.

“Yes, I’ll wait until you put him away.”

The stranger nodded again and disappeared out of sight for a few minutes before coming back to stand in front of Kass. Time watched as he stood expectantly, almost childlike in the way he held his hands together in front of himself. Again, Kass started singing a song, this time about Champions who fought Ganon 10,000 years ago and some “Divine Beasts”. Time didn’t really understand aside from that this world had, apparently, seen more than its fair share of battle.

All throughout the song the stranger stood and listened as if rooted to the spot, gently nodding his head in time. As Kass finished the stranger gave him some quiet applause. It was a nice moment, considering how strangely eerie this Hyrule was. Time relaxed a little, shifting his weight to lean against a support for the tent when the moment was ruined by a branch snapping under his foot.

The stranger reacted in an instant, a bow in his hands from seemingly nowhere and an arrow pointed straight at Time. Before Time could react to calm the situation, Twilight stepped in front of him with a growl.

“Shush, Pup,” said Time at the same time Kass said “It’s ok, they’re just travelers.”

Time put a hand on Twilight and gently but forcefully shoved him out of the way as he stepped forward into the torchlight at the front of the stable. The stranger had lowered his bow slightly, but still had the arrow nocked and ready.

“Sorry for startling you, my name’s Time, and that’s Twilight. We’re travellers,” said Time in a soft voice.

The stranger just stared, hands still gripping his weapon before Kass chuckled at him.

“They aren’t bokoblins, Link,” said Kass, “No need for the bow.”

Time’s ears pricked up at that. Maybe the Hero wasn’t quite as gone in this world as the story claimed. With a sigh, the stranger, Link, dismissed his bow in a glow of blue light to a small rectangle hanging on his hip. With one hand he reached up to pull down his dark hood and revealed a head of shoulder length blonde hair swept up in a ponytail and a face full of familiarities. He had Time’s blue eyes, Twilight’s proud nose, and the same stubborn cowlick Legend tried to keep hidden with his hat.

Then the similarities ended. The boy staring back at him has skin that told a sad story. Scars twisted up Link’s neck, clawing across his left cheek and disappearing into his hairline. All in all, the kid looked like he had been through hell.

“Sorry. Yiga are common here, can’t be too careful,” signed Link.

“At least you didn’t shoot us,” said Twilight. “Anyway, we hear you know where to find the Shrine of Resurrection. Call us pilgrims of a sort, we’d like to see it.”

Link’s face darkened and his shoulders hunched under his cloak. His eyes skittered away and he bit his lip.

“Why?”

“We’re related to the Hero and we’d like to pay our respects,” said Time. Talking to link was not unlike trying to soothe a spooked horse. All he had to do was speak calmly and evenly and keep his movements slow and telegraphed. “If you know the way, would you be able to show us?”

It did not escape his attention that Link’s eyes shot back to him the moment he said they were related to the Hero. It wasn’t a lie, they were all distantly related across time and space and by the Hero’s Spirit. Link’s stare was piercing, as if trying to see into Time’s soul for the truth. Whatever he was looking for, he found it as he relented with a sigh and his shoulders relaxed a bit.

“I can show you in the morning. Go sleep, we leave at dawn,” he signed at them.

He then turned and vanished into the tent. By the time Time and Twilight followed him inside they could only see a bed with the curtains drawn to mark where he had gone. In the other beds the various heroes slept on, all soon to be awoken to the fact Time and Twilight had found either this Hyrule’s Link or a lead to him.

Next Chapter