#listen i can survive it he can survive it

[ask-underfazverse]

"...you saw me kill my father. A 4th dimensional deity, who has been terrorizing my people for over 18 billion years. A being who sided with the mother, a god who has had it out for all of you for who knows how long. On top of a winter to end all winters. The fact that more of you aren't in the fetal position for months is remarkable. Shaken is an understatement..."

He laughs comfortingly. "You all saw me as a mutilated puppet, hurting my own family, trying to kill you. You have had to deal with our trials and errors, figuring out how to get everyone to listen so you all survive. You've had to deal with corruption, betrayal, tyrants, and so many other terrible things that no one should ever see in one lifetime. I do not need your strength or resilience now. I need your healing, your peace. There aren't that many jobs that need to be done right now, and with a wave of my hand, I can handle them myself. The food, the fires, cleaning... I can handle majority of this, if you let me. I'm finally smart enough to take care of myself, don't fall into the stupidity hole I dug myself out of. As bad as all those awful feelings are, they're not going to pass by ignoring them... by working until you can't walk anymore. If you do not rest for yourself, at least rest for me. For your friends, and fellow AUs. Rest, and feel. Because you need to."

The multiverse is full of infinite possibilities...

Most worlds tend to connect through similar builds. Through stories, people, themes...

It's no surprise seeing a stranger to the multiverse. What IS surprising, however, was his condition. Covered in deep wounds, limbs twisted and torn, and he appeared to be drowning in his own blood by the time he was found. Holy weapons were embedded in his skin, and the flesh sizzled liked bacon around it.

He had red skin, gray hooves, horns that looked far too round and circular to have normally grown out of his head. His long pointed tail is covered in hand prints, and there are bones exposed out of his back. He lays face first in a pool of his own boiling blood, barely breathing or moving.

@ask-underfazverse

Cry’s come from the mass amounts of strangers, many just back away to cowedly to do anything, but a few step up, and begin to heal him. Mainly the younger, less evil Malak’s, a few Doug’s that are just simply concerned, and only one Bierce.

Dream Malak very hurriedly takes him to his hospital, with the help of the others.

[audliminal]

Survivability Bias Pt 5

Masterpost Ao3

“So hypothetically,” Superboy begins, glancing over at Robin. “Say I met another meta, and they, like, needed a civilian identity...” He trails off, listening intently. Trying to get anything from Robin's expression is pointless - between his skill at maintaining his composure, and the expression obscuring mask, there's not a lot to be read on his face. Instead Superboy focuses on his heartbeat, which speeds up the smallest amount as Robin turns away from the tablet he'd been working with, and settles his full attention directly onto Superboy.

“Hypothetically,” Robin repeats.

“Yeah. You know, in theory, if that ever happened.” Robin stares at Superboy for a moment, presumably reading everything that's missing from his own face in Superboy's.

“Well. In theory, the Justice League has the means to grant any meta hero a full identity. Is this about you? Because honestly it's insane that they haven't bothered yet, and I will straight up make you one right now if you-”

“No, it's not about me,” Superboy interrupts. “But like, you could do that? Without the Justice League’s support, I mean?. Like, say if this hypothetical person really didn't want the Justice League knowing about them?”

“You met a meta who doesn't like the Justice League.”

“I don't think it's really about the Justice League specifically. I mean, they definitely don't exist, but if they did, then I would say that the second I showed up they were bracing for a fight. Like before they even saw who I was.” Robin sets his tablet to the side without looking, and leans just a touch towards Superboy as he talks. It's honestly wild, he thinks, how the other boy can manage such intense eye contact through white lenses, but, well, that's the bats for you.

“Theoretically, I could absolutely make this person an identity, if they did exist. But I would want to meet them first.”

“Cool, cool,” Superboy says leaning back into the couch. “I offered to introduce you and they said they'd consider it. I think, maybe they don't trust adults very much, bc they asked if you were our age.”

“Theoretically?”

“Exactly.”

* * *

Though the specific details as to when the founding member first became acquainted, it was only after multiple incidents of near-worldwide devastation that they realized the necessity of an organized front.

The details of the forming of the Justice League should be fascinating, if only for the revelation that world-ending disasters are, apparently, relatively common in this universe. In a way, it’s a comforting thought. Memories of Dan sit as heavily as ever in Danny’s mind, especially now that he’s effectively lost his family, just like in Dan’s timeline. Of course, here there’s presumably no risk of him getting fused with Vlad, so probably that specific threat isn’t likely, but - well, if it comes to the worst and Danny does go mad, there’s at least a reasonably good chance that the heroes here will be able to stop him.

On the other hand, this also means that if the heroes turn out to actually be evil or whatever, he has less chance of getting away. Of course, Superboy hadn’t really seemed evil, but Danny really has no clue if he would even be able to tell. Sure he’d known Vlad was a nightmare from a mile away, but Vlad wasn’t exactly subtle about his obsession with Danny. Evil steeped in calculation would surely be harder to spot, wouldn’t it?

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” someone says from behind Danny. “But are you going to be using that computer for much longer?” Danny blinks, staring back at the teen who’s looking at him nervously. Danny glances over at the clock, but it’s now reading 2:30, which means that he’s been here for like three hours already,and he really hasn’t read much of anything in all that time.

“You can have it,” Danny says, pulling back to shove his notebook into his backpack.

“You sure, man? I don’t wanna chase you off, but I really could use it. Physics project, you know?” 

“Yeah, I get it. Wasn’t really making much progress anyway. Might as well take a break.” Danny says. He never got to take physics in school, but he remembers struggling with lit class enough to understand the sentiment. And he really isn’t making any progress, if he’s been staring at the same Justice League page for multiple hours.

“You working on a history project or something?”

“Yeah.” It’s close enough to the truth.

“What teacher d’you have? It’s pretty cool that they’re letting you do it on the Justice League.”

“Oh, uh,” Danny quails for a moment, focusing on closing the tab so he doesn’t tell the kid he’s not going to school. After all it’s probably reasonable to assume the laws about delinquency are the same here. “It’s more about the meta protection acts than like, the Justice League itself. And I’m not really local, so...”

“Ah, that explains why I don’t recognize you,” the other teen grins.

“Yeah,” Danny says, stepping back so the other teen can take over the computer. “Well, good luck with your physics project.”

“Thanks, man, and good luck with your meta-acts essay.” The other teen turns his attention to the computer as Danny steps away, heading for the library exit. Clearly research isn’t going well today, and Jazz would definitely yell at him for trying to force his brain to focus when it clearly doesn’t want to. He pauses outside for a moment, trying to remember what Jazz said to when your focus was shot. Obviously part one was to take a break, but he’s certain that she’d had more to say than that.

He thinks he remembers her going on a rant about monotony, and boredom, but he doesn’t really feel bored. Actually more than anything he feels wired and anxious. And anxious means he should...

“Turn slow tigers into fast tigers,” Danny mutters, gaining a deeply confused look from the couple other patrons standing outside the library. He ignores them, though, and starts heading for the nearby park, so he can do some stretches. Fast tigers means he has to exercise, which he would usually complain about but- well, his routine has definitely been a lot less active since he got here. Other than the train crash the other week, Danny’s been spending most of his time sitting and reading, and while it’s been insanely nice to have nobody hunting him, honestly the idea of exercise sounds almost horrifyingly nice.

He does his best to run through the kind of stretches he remembers doing in PE, warming himself up as best he can before starting to jog the little looping path. The jeans make it a little more annoying than he remembers in PE, but luckily they’re kind of loose, so they’re not too terrible to run in, and Danny has no intention of going very fast. There’s too many people around even if he wanted to, and he does his best to be polite and not in the way as he jogs. it doesn’t take long for his breathing to go heavy with exertion, and as he finishes his second circuit, Dannyt relaxes into it, and just lets himself run.

Thirty minutes later, Danny is feeling markedly more tired, and he lets himself slow to a walk. His heart is thudding rhythmically in his chest, the occasional stutter only more prominent in the heightened pounding, and his legs feel a little wobbly, but he keeps walking, The sweat he’d worked up feels gross against his clothes, so probably he could’ve gone about it better, but Danny figures a whole thirty minutes without worrying about his existential situation is more than worth feeling gross for a bit. His usual tactic of sneaking into the local gym while it’s closed isn’t gonna cut it during the day, so he’ll have to wait to shower, but in the meantime, he can walk off the remaining adrenaline, and decide what to do for dinner.

* * *

“Hey, did you really mean what you said about me having a civilian identity?” Robin looks up as Superboy sits in the air beside his work desk.

“I have four different identities, ready for you to choose from,” Robin says.

“Wait do you just keep possible identities around in case anybody needs them? Is that, like, a Bat thing?” Superboy leans over to examine the tool Robin had been working on. Like everything else he uses, it’s emblazoned with a bat insignia, not that the marking does anything to help identify what the little machine even does. It’s ridiculously small, definitely not any kind of weapon, unless Robin’s been tinkering with the idea of murderous nanobots, which honestly wouldn’t be that shocking. Of any hero Superboy’s ever met, Robin seems uniquely predisposed towards mad scientist-type stuff.

“I keep exactly two emergency identities on hold, but those are separate. I was talking specifically about identities for you.” Superboy freezes, turning his eyes back to Robin, who looks at him like this is a perfectly normal thing to say. Superboy is at least ninety percent sure it isn’t, but what the hell.

“What the hell,” Superboy echoes his own thoughts. “Why would I ever need four identities?”

“You don’t need four, you need options. There’s no point in giving you an identity you hate.”

“Okay, but people don’t get to choose their names? So why would I care.”

“Most people don’t choose their names because most people receive them when they’re babies, but everyone has the ability to change it later if they decide they don’t like it. You have the unique advantage of being cognitively developed enough to have a say from the beginning, and you should have the opportunity to use it.”

“Huh...” That’s actually kind of sweet. “Do you like your name? I mean, like, that’s not why you don’t want to tell us, right?”

“My name is adequate,” Robin answers slowly. “It’s mine and I am... accustomed to it. The reason I haven’t told you my name is because it... implicates the other bats, and Batman considers that to be a significant security risk.”

“Oh, yeah. I guess that’s fair. Could I see the names you were thinking of?”

“Certainly,” Robin says, pushing back from the desk. “Let me get my tablet.”

* * *

“Uh, Superboy?” Danny shouts, trying to ignore how fucking ridiculous this feels. “Are you, like, free to talk? I think I want to meet your friend.” He’s hovering in the sky about a mile out from his town, in as close to the middle of nowhere as he could manage. He’d done a bit of looking into Robin this morning, before making his decision, and what a wild discovery that Robin was a name that had been held by multiple individuals. It makes him think of Dani, and he almost hopes that wherever she ends up, she might use the name Phantom too. After all, if anyone else rights to it, it would be his genetic clone.

Danny has no clue if time is flowing the same here as back home, but with any luck his friends have managed to orchestrate Dani’s escape too. It was always going to be a little more dodgy than Danny himself- his death being inherently tied to the portal had meant it was a bit more responsive to him than it otherwise would be, and that detail had been pretty quintessential to the rewiring that had needed to be done in order to send him to an entirely different universe, but they’d been hoping that her nature as a post-portal clone would mean that she had a close enough tie to the portal to send her through as well. Not that Danny would likely ever get to know for sure.

The soft rush of air alerted Danny to someone’s arrival, and he just managed to keep himself from falling into a defensive posture as he turned to look at the newly arrived Superboy, and the other teen being carried in his arms. Danny recognized the other boys outfit as that of the current Robin, who was now staring at Danny through a pair of disconcerting white-lenses set into a domino mask.

“We were free so I figured we’d just come meet you?” Superboy says with a nervous grin.

“Yeah, that’s, um, kind of obvious. Should we land?” Danny’s pretty sure that none of the Bats have flight, and like, as much as flying is cool as hell, Robin doesn’t look particularly impressed by it.

“That would be preferable, please,” Robin says, confirming Danny’s thoughts. He nods, and heads for the ground. Superboy follows just as quickly, and a moment later they’re all gathered on a gravel road in farmland.

“So, uh,” Superboy begins, once he’s deposited Robin on his own two feet.

“You told him about me before,” Danny says. Superboy may have had plenty of time to fly over here, but there hadn’t been enough of a delay to have explained the situation to Robin just now.

“It was an entirely theoretical conversation,” Robin offers dryly, before Superboy can respond.

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that he was asking if I could theoretically help a meta acquire an identity if they were uncomfortable with the Justice League. Nothing of it was mentioned to anyone else and he told me no details about who any theoretical metas might be.” Danny blinks, taking a moment to process Robin’s explanation. In a way it makes sense, and he can see why Superboy would want to make sure that what he was offering was even possible.  Besides, it’s pretty obvious already that they both really trust each other.

“Okay, sure. I guess I get it.”

“I would like to know why you’re concerned about the Justice League, though, if you’re willing to share. If there’s anything illicit happening-”

“Oh, no, it’s not like that,” Danny cuts in as soon as he realizes where Robin’s going. He’s suddenly glad he’d already decided to explain his situation in more detail. “It’s like, I’m not from here so my shit is entirely unrelated? It’s just, they’re -you’re?- associated with the government, you know?”

“And your government is a threat to you.”

“Honestly, everything was. But they can’t get to me here. It’s why my friends- that’s why I’m here.”

“Okay, but are you sure you’re safe? Because like, space travel is a thing, and if you need protection...” Superboy trails off, looking concerned.

“I mean, it should be fine? Even if the GIW did manage to figure out inter-dimensional travel, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to figure out where specifically I went, so yeah.” Danny really doesn’t want to think about a GIW that’s gone inter-dimensional.

“Well if they did manage to make it here, they would be breaching the meta protection acts if they tried anything, so I hope if that does happen you inform myself or Superboy.”

“Yeah,” Danny laughs. “It’s honestly been kind of crazy trying to wrap my head around the idea I have protections here?”

“That’s understandable. Plenty of meta-individuals have complicated feelings about them, even if they grew up here.”

“Oh?”

“Well, just because it’s illegal to exploit or discriminate against someone doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t happen. And metas who have been treated poorly often have trouble trusting in the protection acts.”

“Or sometimes you just didn’t get that info programmed into you and then you have to adjust to your understanding of history being manufactured,” Superboy mutters under his breath. Robin doesn’t react at all and Danny’s pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to hear it either. The implications are a bit concerning, but Danny’s not about to press him on it.

“Yeah, I mean that’s kind of where I am, I guess. I think I’d like it if you’d be willing to make me a legal identity? I’m basically homeless at the moment, so I’d like to be able to get a job or something. But I’d really rather not end up on the Justice League’s radar yet. You guys seem nice, but databases are- a lot.”

“Easy enough. I can actually do it all with my personal resources, so the info never goes anywhere near the Justice League’s databases. We just need to determine what name history you want to have.”

“I mean, I’d like to keep my name, if possible?”

“Sure, What’s your name?” Robin tilts his head.

“Danny Fenton.”

[kurthummeldeservesbetter]

Thinking about how Jayce was literally all for using the hexcore to save Viktor before he even did it. like. of course he was gonna use it. he literally got Heimerdinger fired for (turns out, rightfully) wanting them to destroy it and his main argument to the hamster is that it could save Viktor. He literally even discusses this with Viktor on their little ledge place.

He’s really just like the non-warcrimes/ethical (sort of?) version of Singed. Would do anything to save the one he loves with the thing that literally killed someone else.

Hell the last he saw of it was it killed a plant before he even heard it killed Sky. (Also man asked no questions about her at all wtf Jayce literally did not give a shit about anyone besides Viktor turns out) What did he think was gonna happen actually?

God he’s such a disaster I love him

[revelboo]

Gah, the swindle fic was so, so good!!! I feel so bad for saying it, but I was talkin’ about Swerve, the lil dork that runs the bar in Lost Light!!! I’m so sorry!!! 😭

This little bozo!!! :)

Yes, you were xD I was working on the next Scavengers when I saw it and my brain just went: Swindle. Ignore me, it’s cold and I’m struggling

Lose Control

IDW Swerve x Reader

• Placing a clean glass back where it goes, Swerve surveys his kingdom. Aside from Trailbreaker sprawled across the bar top making a low rumbling sound as he recharges, the bar is empty and quiet. It’s something he never thought he’d have, a space to call his own. Where he’s in charge and listened to. “Third last call, big guy,” he says, reaching out to nudge Trailbreaker with a servo. “You know you can’t keep sleeping in here.” Mostly because when he wakes up, he’ll start drinking again and he can’t open if Breaker drinks all the inventory. Again.

• “Seriously? Don’t make me drag you,” he groans, knowing it’s an empty threat. Trailbreaker is as big as two of him and then some. There’s no budging him short of going and asking Magnus for help. And listening to the complaints about his bar and Magnus’s love language- rule violations. No, he’d rather take his chances with one very over energized mech. Which means babysitting all night to protect the bar. Frag.

• After kicking Trailbreaker’s stool again, he wanders around the bar. Bored and tired. “I don’t care if you’re my best customer,” he mutters, dragging a table slightly away from a wall. And there’s a sharp cry and a tiny shape darting from the shadows. Somehow that manages to wake up Breaker. Everything seems to slow as he sees the small form running alongside the bottom of the bar, sees Breaker shift and slide out of his stool, a ped coming down. And he’s running, diving with his hands outstretched. Feels that soft body hit his palms as Breaker steps on him instead and comes down on him.

• Flung off balance, you roll end over end and go sliding. Realizing that the big monster had almost stepped on you without even noticing and the smaller one had pushed you out of the way to take the brunt of the impact himself. Your confused brain is screaming at you to run, but as your rescuer groans, you can’t. “What happened?” The bigger one complains as the red one hits him, flailing to get free.

• “You’re crushing me,” Swerve snarls, venting raggedly as he gets loose, head turning to find the human still there, eyes wide as you stare up at him. Tensed to bolt, but waiting instead. “Hey, tiny.” Wiggling his fingers at you only makes you back up a step, expression uncertain. “I wouldn’t run. I at least see you,” he tries, as Trailbreaker gets to his feet and staggers away, gawking. Of course he’d heard the rumors of Brainstorm’s screwup, but the machine was destroyed. Right? And you glance from him to Breaker and back, and take a tentative step forward. A human that shouldn’t be here, doesn’t belong. Too small to survive, and he gets being smaller than every other bot except maybe Tailgate. He’s short, but you can be stepped on. “Little things need to stick together.”

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

(via @allpiesforourown. surprising no one, i had too much to say in response)

aaaaaaaaah yeah, binghe’s greatest fear isn’t that he doesn’t deserve sy—he knows he doesn’t. he did what he needed to survive, and he doesn’t regret it (he definitely has never lain awake in the middle of the night thinking about the children at cang qiong he killed. at this point, he’s nearly a god. what are a few children, guilty by association with that damned sect, to a god?) but he knows that someone as wholly good as sy deserves goodness in return. he knows he’s dirtying sy every time sy rests a gentle hand on his shoulder.

his greatest fear isn’t that he doesn’t deserve sy; his greatest fear is that sy will realize binghe doesn’t deserve him. so he does everything in his power to present his best self to shen yuan. he tries to act like the sort of person who deserves all the kindness that sy offers so open-handedly. he shares a few meals with shen yuan every week, more than any of his other wives had ever seen him, save lmy, nyy, and shl. he smiles at sy, and he knows that it’s too sharp but he can’t for the life of him work out how to soften it. he does his best to keep his alpha posturing to a minimum, since sy seems to dislike it.

binghe tries so hard to be the person it seems that shen yuan believes him to be. but at his core, the emperor of the three realms is still that half-feral little boy who has only ever known how to fight. he learned young that holding something gently only left it easily snatched away. all he can do is hold onto sy with his teeth and his claws and pray he doesn’t damage this precious man.

and then one day shen yuan vanishes, and lbh is wrecked. had someone stolen him away? was he harmed? had he finally seen through binghe’s mask and left? he spends hours searching for him, and he finally finds him in the fucking water prison. a stone sinks into binghe’s gut as he watches shen yuan speaking with his brother, holding a cup of warm water for him to drink, listening to what he says. listening.

and binghe isn’t afraid when he sees this. he isn’t afraid, because he conquered the realms, he conquered the abyss when he was still just a boy, he conquered xin mo with his sheer force of will. what is conquering one omega compared to that? to keep sqq from poisoning sy’s mind against him, binghe would do anything.

he reacts harshly to seeing his omega sharing his gentleness with that man. snatches the cup from sy’s hand and pours it over sqq’s head. snarls at sy to leave. demands his omega’s submission when sy tries to refuse. binghe is the alpha of alphas, he is the emperor, and he won’t be challenged by one of the countless omegas in his harem. his hands tremble, his eyes sting, his teeth itch. he should end shen qingqiu right there for daring to fill sy’s mind with poison. who knows what he’s said in the time they were down there? shen yuan walks so softly when he leaves, his steps barely rise above the din of rushing water.

and then he is alone with shen qingqiu, and he aches to take out his anger on something. make sqq suffer for daring to speak to his a-yuan. he raises a trembling hand to strike sqq, just to soothe the burning under his skin, and instead of crying out, sqq lets out an awful creaky wheezing noise. it takes a moment for it to register as laughter. shen qingqiu is laughing, and binghe is nothing but a little boy again, sabotaged by a fake cultivation manual and treated as his peak’s whipping dummy.

he turns to leave, but sqq’s voice is sharp enough to pierce the white noise surrounding them as he spits at lbh’s retreating back, ‘still nothing more than a mindless beast.’

binghe takes a few of his wives back to his chambers, but sends them back only an hour later. for the next few days, no one hears from their emperor.

svsss omegaverse au where only those with profound cultivation ability develop into alphas or omegas. this means both powerful spiritual cultivators and powerful demon lines

under luo binghe’s rule, any alpha or omega in the general populace is brought to bingge’s palace. omega women are added to the harem without question, tho there are a notable few alpha women there as well (shl and lmy).

sy transmigrates into a wandering omega cultivator exploring the world (the world building was the best part of that dumbfuck novel and now he gets to experience it firsthand!!!). his exploration quickly takes him from the few safe remaining human cities and into the wider world.

he’s chased for days by different demon groups until one finally catches him, because junshang’s been hell-bent on finding some particular male omega for the past few months. he’s put out a bounty and everything; whoever brings the right omega gets riches and their choice of one treasure from junshang’s vault.

everyone thinks he’s gonna kill this dude. they assume the omega wronged junshang somehow and he wants revenge. sy is scared absolutely shitless. these guys tie him up in immortal binding cables and beat him up a little bit. by the time they make it to the underground palace, sy looks fuckin rough

and surprisingly, lord luo is not pleased by this. so displeased, in fact, that he cuts the demons down right there in the middle of his reception hall? sy is 100% sure he’s gonna be next and he nearly passes out when bingge approaches. (part of him is screaming because!!!! luo binghe!!! in the flesh!!!!! with an air of power and deadly beauty and strength!!!! the protagonist!!!)

lbg studies sy’s face for a minute, then has servants take him away. he’s bathed (THOROUGHLY!! maybe TOO thoroughly!!! he can wash his own ass!! thank you!!) and styled, and with the cables removed he can finally heal his injuries from being captured.

the next time they meet, lbg seems weirdly angry. his hands are shaking and his face is red, and every time he makes eye contact with sy, he growls and looks sharply away. he’s definitely barely holding back from killing sy!! maybe it’s because sy left the human cities? maybe it’s because he was poking around somewhere off-limits?? sy has no idea what he did.

lbg leads him down down to the water prison, and again sy almost passes out. my mans definitely pukes into the water just from the smell alone. it’s…a gory scene. but what’s most unsettling about it isn’t the emptiness in sqq’s eyes or the desperate grunting that only becomes louder the closer lbg brings sy.

what’s most unsettling is how similar they look. they could be brothers, their family resemblance is powerful. same face shape, same nose, same cheekbones.

and sy gets it then. bingge is done playing with sqq; there’s nothing really left to do to him (though he’s still got his dick…sy was one of the loudest proponents of cutting it off for what he did to ning yingying!) so lbg must be looking for a replacement.

lbg studies them both for a long time, as if cataloguing all the similarities between their faces. the whole time, sy is shaking, trying not to fall over. eventually, lbg must be satisfied, because he looks sy up and down slowly before muttering. ‘you’ll do for now. we can see how you measure up.’

POORLY!!! shen yuan is determined to measure up extremely poorly to that old shizun of lbg’s!! to save his own skin, he’ll be nothing like that asshole!!

thus begins shen yuan’s plan to treat the emperor with such doting, kind respect that he’ll see nothing of sqq in him beyond his unfortunate face!! surely lord luo won’t want to kill someone so kind to him!!

(every measure of shen yuan’s kindness is overwhelming to lbg. after so long he’s found what that other him flaunted in his face. a close relative of his shizun’s, no doubt, (maybe a twin separated at birth?) who became that other binghe’s shizun in that timeline. he’s kind and gentle and so concerned with binghe’s wellbeing in a way…no one has since his mother, so so long ago. that one morning with the other shizun was so sweet, but this—having this omega here in his palace, fussing at him to eat more and dress more warmly when he goes to the north, smiling unrestrained, smelling so impossibly sweet—this is so much better than he could have imagined. luo bingge will convince this shen yuan to be his omega. not as a concubine, but as a proper wife. first wife, maybe. empress, even. whatever it takes to get him to say yes. whatever it takes to keep him.)

[varpusvaras]

Apparently Willis is alive in the newer comics? I have no idea what's going on there, but I got thinking about it, and-

Willis already knew a lot of dangerous, skilled people. He had a strong enough connection to Lady Shiva for Jason to suspect that she could be his biological mother. Same with a spy.

So. Maybe Willis has some skills. He survives Two-Face and is then offered another job, one that pays a lot better, and he takes it. It was supposed to be a short enough job, but things went a little sideways and it took longer than expected, and then he gets back and his wife is dead and his son is adopted by a billionaire. And what is Willis supposed to do? He can't fight to get his custody back, because no matter how corrupt the systems in Gotham are, no one in their right mind would think that Willis is a better option than Bruce Wayne.

So Willis lets it be. He takes another job. He trains more. Takes another job. Collects every single piece of Jason he can find. Cuts the newest picture out of a newspaper and carries it with him. He trains, becomes more skilled. Takes another job. He looks at Jason's happy, growing face in the newspapers. He cuts them out and puts them in his pocket. He takes a job. He trains. He becomes better. He takes another job.

He looks for Jason in the papers and finds out that his son is dead.

He goes back to Gotham. He visits his baby's grave. He is more skilled now than the last time he was here. He knows how the city works. He lays low and listens.

It doesn't take long for him to figure it all out, not with how much the Joker brags about killing the Bat's little bird.

Willis looks at the pictures of Robin and sees Jason.

All he knows is anger.

No, the Joker is wrong. He didn't kill the Bat's little bird. Not to worry. The Joker will soon learn his mistake.

And after that, so will Batman.

Or, Willis Todd becomes a Batman villain to avenge his son.

[discflame]

Nobody has proved to my friends that the Nazis were wrong about the Jews. Nobody can. The truth or falsity of what the Nazis said, and of what my extremist friends believed, was immaterial, marvellously so. There simply was no way to reach it, no way, at least, that employed the procedures of logic and evidence. The bill-collector told me that Jews were filthy, that the home of a Jewish woman in his boyhood town was a pigsty; and the baker told me that the Jews' fascination with cleanliness was a standing affront to the "Germans," who were clean enough. What difference did the truth, if there were truth, make? I suggested from time to time, and always in a hesitant fashion, that perhaps the medieval exclusion of Jews from citizenship and landholding, their subsequent exclusion, after 1648, from guild apprenticeship, and their confinement for a thousand years to the practice of moneylending, with the attendant risk of the despicable creditor against the knightly debtor, might have required cunning of most of the Jews in most of early Europe as the condition of survival itself; that the consequent sharpening of the intellect under such circumstances would have produced a disproportionate number of unusually noble and unusually ignoble dispositions among any people, their unusualness, in the marginal occupations to which they were driven, disappearing as the great community removed the disadvantagements which produced it. I reminded the bank clerk, Kessler, that the ancestors of the Christians who now forbade Jews to be bank presidents once compelled them to be. He was a Swabian, from Wurttemberg, and the Swabians are humorous--"for Germans," as Tacitus would say. He appreciated the joke. None of my ten friends argued with me when I said these things. None of them, except the bank clerk and, of course, the teacher, listened. Everything I said, all of them might have learned long ago. But there are some things that everybody knows and nobody learns. Didn't everyone know, in America, on December 8, 1941, that the Japanese, or Japs, were a treacherous people? In the American embassy in Berlin, in 1935, an official of the German Foreign Press Office told me a story of a North Sea town where there had never been a Jew. When Goebbels announced the boycott of the Jews for the month of April, 1933, the Burgermeister of the town sent him a telegram: "Send us a Jew for our boycott."

They Thought They Were Free by Milton Mayer

[zaine-m]

I like to think that Jayce and Viktor get a happy ending in the other universe too

Jayce feels awful that hextech took a life. Especially seeing powder (who is around the same age he was when him and his mom were saved by hextech) holding her dead sister's body

He says similar things as in the start of the trial but now fully meaning them and never mentions trying to create magic

Vander comes to Jayce's trial and stands up for him, saying he's just a stupid kid with a dream to help people who didn't know what he was doing

"Vi's with her mom now, let Jayce go home to his"

He does still sneak into his lab to attempt suicide but this time Viktor's "am I interrupting?" doesn't do anything, Jayce just turns back around and jumped, not being able to handle the guilt of accidentally taking a life while also realizing his life's work only caused harm

He survives the attempt and wakes up in a hospital bed, paralyzed from the waist down with his mother crying next to him

Viktor comes in a bit later while his mom is out making some food for him

His tone is completely too cold for the situation. Jayce is in complete despair and Viktor refuses to match the mood

He says most of the same stuff about how hextech can change people's lives but Jayce responds "yeah, well so far all it's done is a take the life of an innocent child"

"ehh, she was from the undercity. I grew up there, many children did not live to see adulthood"

"How does that make anything better?"

"Because this has the potential to change that. One explosion? There are toxic fumes and polluted waters slowly killing hundreds of children each year"

"Even if I wanted to I'm banned from the academy and ..." *waves at legs*

"pshh, you think trenchers are supposed to be at the academy and everything I did in my life I did while being disabled"

"Listen, I can't help you"

Viktor leaves Jayce's bracelet by his bed and heads towards the door. Jayce takes one look at it and throw it across the room in anger. "you probably shouldn't throw that", "GET OUT!"

A while later Vander comes to invite Jayce to Vi's memorial at the last drop

Jayce feels so guilty when he first comes into the last drop, everyone is staring at him

He sees Ekko, the kind little kid who had sold him such reasonably prices wares just days before his experiments accidentally killed his friend

Powder just starting going at him when she first sees him, her weak child-who-has-never-punched-before fists do very little damage especially because she's going so fast she doesn't fully pull her hands back

Jayce just lets her at it, crying and apologizing between the blows

Vander comes to pull Powder off of him, "it wasn't his fault, he didn't know how dangerous the materials were" she just looks back and screams at him before going back to her bedroom

Vander takes Jayce on a walk through the undercity to talk,

"Everyone in there knew what I did?"

"huh, no?"

"they were looking at me like I was a monster"

"yeah, that's cause you're dressed like a piltie"

"ohh, ha... I'm so sorry about what happened to Vi"

"It's a shame, but she's with her parents now"

*Jayce looks down, only feeling worse finding out the girl he killed was an orphan*

"You want to know how her parents died?" *they arrive at the bridge* "I thought I could help the undercity, create a better world by fighting for sovereignty. I led us across this bridge and lost so many people in the process, the undercity is still recovering"

"I'm so sorry"

"I was like you, I was young and ambitious and I wanted to help people. But you know what I learned. You don't need to make giant leaps to help the people around you"

On the way back Vander points out all the ways he's helped different people in the undercity, helping them make a business plan, caring for their kids when they were sick, helping them find a community at the last drop

He also points out all the things that could be helped like roofs with holes in them and cliffs that should have railings

"You don't need hextech to help the world, Jayce"

Jayce spends his time between his family's forge doing hammer work and around the undercity working as a handyman, building what he can to help people

Eventually he tracks down Viktor, hoping to find ways to make a more systemic change for things like the dirty water and polluted air

Viktor works on studies surveying the living conditions of those in the undercity and seeing what affects it has on expected lifespan and the likelihood of developing different diseases to present to the council

That along with the more pro-Zaun push that's been happening since Vi's death he gets quite a bit of work done

While he's doing this Jayce does what he can to start implementing changes by making water filters and distributing masks to those in the slump levels

After a few years Jayce petitions to be let back into the academy to help Viktor with his work on a formal level and with outstanding testimonials from many people in the undercity he's let back in

When their work making the undercity safer is done they move onto studying how to treat the various illnesses people in the undercity have suffered from living there

first starting with Viktor's various physical health issues and finding that a lot of his issues come from it never being studied how to use mobility aids and how improper use can put a strain on other parts of your body so he switched to a forearm crutch to help his back

I'm gonna say in this universe Viktor just has severe asthma which they're able to find medicines to treat so he still has issues breathing in a lot of the undercity, he just wears a mask most of the time and keeps his medication with him

Viktor and Jayce end up dating but it happens to slowly that it's hard to realize, they just spend all their time together working on their research and then they get an apartment together because they were both looking for roommates

Jayce stopped looking for people to date after the accident because he was going through a big life change and never got back in the game and Viktor always rejected anyone, saying he was too busy with his studies

Jayce is just physically affectionate in a way where hugging Viktor a lot turns into Viktor sitting on his lap whenever his leg is sore turns into Jayce playing with Viktor's hair when he's bored turns into them cuddling on the couch turns into them cuddling in bed turns into kisses on the forehead when one of them is sick turns into kisses when they're not sick

They're at the last drop one day and Viktor gets up off Jayce's lap to use with washroom and Vander asks Jayce, "so you think you'll propose soon" Jayce almost spits out his food, "what, what do you mean?"

"I mean you've been dating for like what 5 years now. You gotta pop the question sooner or later"

"umm... yeah" wait fuck are we dating, have we been dating for 5 years, what

In bed that night: "Viktor, I... I think I might like you... like romantically. I guess I never thought about it but I was talking to Vander and... and you've been the most important person in my life for the past like 6 years"

"Jayce, I thought we were dating? How are you only realizing this now"

"ohh"

"I called you my partner"

"I thought you meant like research partner"

"we kissed a lot"

"I thought those were like just for comfort... between friends"

*Viktor kisses him passionately but not the most passionately they've kissed before*

"Does that seem like it would be between friends?"

"heh, now that you mention it I guess not"

[space-blue]

It's horrible too if Jinx lives!!

OK, I guess we're doing this?

People keep coming at me for my post about Jinx dying being terrible writing and promoting suicide by heroics as a valid way out, and the argument is always "Actually, Jinx is alive because XYZ"

So let me makes myself clear : if Jinx lives, it's also terrible writing!!

Because for all intent and purposes, she DOES DIE! Even if she's alive and fucked off in that blimp, she's still dead to everyone who knew and loved her.

WORSE! Vi will go on thinking for the rest of her life that Jinx died because of her, or at the very least that she couldn't save her.

It's not for no reason that Vi has this scene in the cell with Caitlyn, where she says she always choses wrong. In the scene on the crumbling metal beam, Vi choses not to listen to Jinx!

People got in my comments saying I have no humanity for reproving Vi picking "Vander's corpse" over Jinx. But what we see happen is Jinx telling Vi multiple time to get away and how to get to safety, and Vi completely ignoring her to interact with Vander/WW, only for him to wake up, attack her, and force Jinx to risk her life to save Vi.

Vi made a choice, between more time with Vander and listening to Jinx, and the price paid in the end is Jinx dying.

What if she lived and escaped? Vi doesn't know that! Ekko doesn't know that! Or Sevika! Or anyone!

Thought exercise time: close your eyes and imagine a relative disappearing for your life after a lethal accident you're involved in. You never recover a body and never see them again. How do you feel about it? Mmh?

"Oh but Caitlyn sees the schematics that show a side tunnel…"

Firstly, Caitlyn was nowhere near the event, and she can't frame-by-frame the explosion as we do, so you can hardly claim she's looking for Jinx and not, for example, the arcane gem, or Warwick.

Vander/WW was shown to be entirely impervious to the bullets from Jinx's automatic gun. If anyone has a chance of surviving, it'd be him.

But do you know what? If Jinx is in that blimp, and Caitlyn then tells Vi, "From the schematic, I think your sister could have escaped" (ignoring entirely the fact that Jinx should be cut in half by WW's claws wrapped around her waist), then what would happen???

That would send Vi on a wild goose's chase!! How many years would she spend hunting through Zaun trying to find her sister? How many years until she starts resenting Caitlyn for giving her false hope? How many years until she's forced to accept Jinx isn't anywhere, and so must have died back then, and has to see herself as Jinx's killer all over again??

How is this good for Vi?

And Ekko? He pulled her out of suicide what? 5 times? Had some epic bonding with her painting all over each other, doing self-care and hair dyes and fixing a balloon so they could go on a big attack together.

Maybe he thought he could genuinely finally be close to his world's Powder. Silco just taught him the greatest thing he can do is forgive, and the girl he forgives fakes her death and runs away?

They're barely 20 ffs, Jinx would have plenty of time to struggle on the road to recovery, especially with his help. What if Ekko was ready to be there along the way with her? What about him?

How is it good if Jinx is NOT dead but has NOT told him? What difference does it make to him? She's dead for Ekko, and if he learns later on that she faked her death, all he'll know is that HE wasn't worth her staying. He wasn't even worth telling the truth to!!!

It's fucked! It's not healthy!! Jinx could have her ending removing herself from Zaun without having to fake her death.

But hang on, it gets worse!

Because it's straight up not good writing even on the meta level.

Arcane has millions of viewers. Nobody I know IRL thinks Jinx is alive. Plenty of people in my notes agree she's dead. Do you know what millions of people think? That she is dead!!! Because it's the TEXT OF THE SHOW.

Millions of fans will think Jinx was killed off, because they aren't willing to go frame by frame, extrapolating and make-believing their way into thinking she is alive. Most fans are normal people who aren't terminally online, theorycrafting all day long.

Most normal fans have moved on to watch Dune Prophecy or Sweetpea. And if Jinx comes out alive in another show, the "Somehow Palpatine Jinx returned" memes will abound.

Let's go over the common elements brought forth as arguments.

Jinx uses pink and blue in that bomb, and pink is how she gets away "quick".

No? The bomb she attached to Thieram in season 1 was pink and it was all for glitter and harassment. There is no strong canon association of meaning. If you watch frame by frame, there is a pink "light gleam" over the first blue detonation followed by a very large pink blast and ZERO smoke trails or anything indication someone getting away. Jinx uses the same bomb she used to kill herself very effectively earlier in the show, so we have no indication it wouldn't kill her here too.

We can see the inside of her bomb when she kills herself (with the two liquid vials) and it's the same she uses on Vander/WW and herself.

Besides, even if she used some part of the explosion to get away, WW's claws are around her like this:

She'd be bisected in half.

So some people say that means that Warwick is also alive and let her go! But no. That's make-believe. That's fanon, 100%. The TEXT of the show is that Vander is burnt away (we see the final image of himself burning up) and he has just attacked Vi, trying to kill her. We have no indication he'd want to spare Jinx here.

HOWEVER, he's literally bullet proof, so if there's anything we can conclude is that he's likely to be the one to have made it into a shaft and to safety.

Speaking of shafts: the next argument is that Caitlyn is looking at the tower's schematics to hint that she suspects Jinx lives.

Maybe, but you are reading a character's mind. We see her look at schematics while holding the monkey bomb head, yes, but you don't know what she's thinking, and if the show runners don't make it explicit, then Cait's thoughts about an explosion she hasn't even witnessed aren't worth much. She could think Warwick lived. OR she could think, despite not witnessing the fight, that Jinx lived. But she doesn't KNOW, she doesn't tell us, and so you are INVENTING the thoughts of a character to mean what you want it to mean.

This would be a lot more meaningful if it were Vi investigating this.

There's a blimp going away, it has blue smoke, and then it ends with a Jinx glitch.

No. There is a blimp going away, slowly, without any blue smoke. It's also THE EXACT SAME ONE that opens Season 1 act 1.

Instead of coming towards Piltover, it now is leaving over the sea. This can be fully interpreted as a sign that the hextech era is over. Blimps have to travel the old fashioned way again. It's also going away from Piltover/Zaun, symbolizing future stories taking place there.

Finally, the glitch is 3 frames long and spells "the End". IDK why the fact that it's a little Jinxy means anything to anyone. The end of credits for season 1 was Jinxy as well, and it could simply be about keeping the same visual identity and not a sign of Jinx being alive???

If I wanted to play subtext games, I could say "Wow Jinx writing "the end" would be appropriate if she were dead" and reverse the argument.

Finally, and the thing in most poor taste, IMO.

Jinx kills herself several times in the opening of the episode, and a sad emo song plays over it, with sad fucked up lyrics. Then Ekko comes and pulls her from this…

Only for that EXACT same song to be played while she and Vander/WW fall. They are both crying. Vi is crying and screaming while these lyrics are playing!!

If I could just lay my head down and rest. If there was nothing to fight or protect. Maybe then I could finally be free. Maybe death is like falling asleep. This world is a wasteland where nothing can grow. I used to have strength but I ran out of hope. I know it's my fault that I'm here all alone. This world is a wasteland. Please let me go. Go, go, go. Please let me go.

This is literally singing about suicide. When you say "Maybe death is like falling asleep" over the animation of a character pulling the pin, you are not dealing in subtext or metaphor of any kind.

One of the earlier shots literally has her framed in broken glass among shards that are WARWICK'S MAW. It's like a hint of her death being killed by him, furthering the parallel.

And I think it is in very bad taste to have suicide apologia music playing over characters screaming and bawling (Vi)

while others cry (Jinx and WW)

and a bomb goes off (with no hint of survival),

only for some of y'all to come around acting like Cait glowering at a blueprint and a recuring blimp all means Jinx is alive...

It would be grief porn on the part of the writers. It would mean slamming us in our feelings in a brutal way, in an ugly way, while playing a suicide song, only to turn around and say "Syke! didn't you get that Cait is suspicious about Jinx so it totally means it was all a fakeout?"

I don't want a fake-out at this point!! Why would I?? It's legit worse! Because then it means they couldn't spare 5min of animation time to have her rescued by Ekko and being on the mend with him. Even if she has a scene where she tells him "I need to leave. I can't stay in this city), at least it wouldn't be a cruel joke on the fans and the characters.

This entire ending means that either Jinx was better off dying taking out the mad monster made out of her dad with her (making her the ultimate dad killer, yay), or Jinx was better off removing herself from the equation SO THOROUGHLY that MOST fans believe it, everyone in world believe it, and the show offers no concrete textual clue for it.

It means Jinx didn't deserve/or wasn't able to get better. And so she has to die or do the exact-same-as-dying but kind of more fucked up somehow.

---

ULTIMATELY the message to impressionable viewers who struggle a lot with mental health and identified a lot with Jinx, are being told with soft sad music that yeah maybe dying is like going to sleep and your family should let you go, go, go, and that "leaving everything and everyone behind" is about the same.

It's fucked, and it saddens me that people are so focused on the "she lived" narrative that they miss out the fact that a hint she may be alive doesn't change the messaging.

And it saddens me knowing that if Viktor's arc ended with him being validated in feeling like his human body was "broken" and "inferior" and that his disability made him lesser as a human, people would have pitchforks and torches out.

Jinx's mental illness and struggles in interacting with the world were her disability, and she got fucking killed or wiped off the city incognito for it.

--

P.S: If you're warming up to post hate in comments or tags because you don't like my take and don't know how to politely disagree, please save us both time and block me. I'm open to polite discourse but the next person questioning my humanity over fandom wank will be nuked from orbit with prejudice.

[smileposting]

okay hang on. followup thoughts to this post: if the bizzyboys being from the drain is meant to imply that there are other like, living sentient beings down there -- that were Forgotten, in this specific reading of the drain -- does the grove, like, know? or are they under the impression that the bizzyboys were the only sentient life down there and now that all the surviving ones are in the grove they're like "oh well i guess it's chill, glad y'all got out of there, praise inspekta amirite?"

is that the case? that inspekta/hector led a mass exodus out of the drain and that's at least part of what got him godhood in the first place? was it just the bizzyboys or did that exodus include other people too -- bc like there Are grove civilians who are either explicitly not human (bronch) or who are ambiguously human but it's just never called attention to by the narrative (housecat man, jake'm). was part of the bizzyboys' early duties going back Into the drain to look for stragglers? to bring them back to the grove -- and back into relevance by proxy? to refuse to let them be forgotten? was them assisting the grove supposed to be like, the deal inspekta struck with the gods for that? did they even require a deal or was hector/inspekta just like "hey listen, yew scratch my back i'll scratch yewrs" and they were like "alright these guys clearly need sanctuary so sure."

what if that's just how it started? like, what if part of the whole reason behind the founding of the bizzyboys was to use their connections to aid whoever was left in the drain, but as inspekta became more consumed by his own fears and withdrawn and paranoid and power-hungry, whatever resources were going towards that just. dwindled to a halt. and when he was pressed about it he was like "eh we did everything we could! there's only so much you can do for folks the world's got no need for anymore lol." <- PROJECTING INSANELY HARD.

what i'm saying is there's no version of events here that doesn't make me wanna scream and writhe on the floor lmao

[daisymbin]

fluff #18 with junnie!!!

omg our first jun request!!!!! thank you anon!!! 🤍 🤍🤍

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist! // jun's m.list

fluff prompt #18: "wait, don't fall asleep yet."

the soft glow of the bedside lamp painted the room in warm hues, a cocoon of quiet comfort that wrapped around you both. you were already half-asleep, your head nestled on jun’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. his arm was draped over your shoulders, his fingers lazily tracing circles against your arm.

“wait,” his voice broke the silence, soft and hesitant, “don’t fall asleep yet.”

you stirred, eyes barely cracking open as you tilted your head to look up at him. “hmm? why not?” your voice was groggy, words slurred with sleep.

his free hand came up to brush a strand of hair away from your face. “i don’t know,” he said, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “i just want to talk to you a little longer.”

“jun,” you mumbled, stifling a yawn, “we’ve been together all day. what more do you need to say that you havent already?”

he chuckled quietly, the sound warm and familiar. “everything,” he said softly. “or maybe nothing. i just like hearing your voice.”

you blinked up at him, fully awake now, your heart melting at his words. “you’re such a sap,” you teased lightly, though your cheeks flushed.

“and you love it,” he shot back, his grin widening.

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the small smile creeping onto your lips. “fine,” you said, shifting to prop yourself up on your elbow. “what do you want to talk about, mr. sap?”

he paused, his gaze soft as he looked at you, as though he were committing this moment to memory. “did you know,” he began, “that when you’re really tired, your nose scrunches up a little, and you make this tiny huffing sound? it’s kind of like a baby dinosaur.”

you blinked at him, caught between embarrassment and laughter. “a baby dinosaur? really? that’s the best you could come up with?”

“it’s cute,” he insisted, his tone playful but his eyes earnest. “you’re cute.”

you groaned, burying your face in his chest to hide your flushed cheeks. “why are you like this?”

he laughed, the sound vibrating against your cheek. “because i like seeing you like this,” he said, his hand coming up to rub soothing circles on your back. “all soft and embarrassed. it’s my favorite.”

you peeked up at him, your expression a mix of exasperation and affection, though you still rolled your eyes at him playfully.

his smile turning gentler. “you’re the one who chose me, remember?”

your chest tightened at his words, a wave of warmth spreading through you. “i did,” you murmured, your voice soft now. “and i’d choose you again. every time.”

jun’s hand stilled against your back, his eyes searching yours. “really?”

you nodded, leaning closer until your forehead rested against his. “of course. you’re my favorite person, junhui.”

he exhaled slowly, a look of pure adoration washing over his face. “you’re mine too,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “sometimes i still can’t believe i get to do this. that i get to have you.”

“you make it sound like you won the lottery,” you teased, though your heart was swelling at his sincerity.

“you are so much better than a winning lottery ticket,” he said matter-of-factly, making you laugh despite yourself. “and i’m keeping you forever, whether you like it or not.”

you pretended to consider it, tapping a finger to your chin. “hmm, i guess i can live with that.”

he grinned, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. “good,” he said, his thumb brushing gently against your skin. “because i don’t think i’d survive without you.”

you rolled your eyes again, but your smile betrayed you. “there’s that sap again.”

“it’s the truth,” he said with a shrug, his tone lighter now. “and besides, you love me, sap and all.”

“unfortunately,” you quipped, earning a playful nudge to your side.

the two of you dissolved into quiet laughter, the kind that felt like a secret shared between the two of you and no one else. when it faded, you found yourself staring at him again, the lamp casting soft shadows across his face.

“what?” he asked, tilting his head at you, his lips quirking into a small smile.

“just thinking about how lucky i am,” you said honestly, the words slipping out before you could second-guess them.

his smile softened, his hand trailing from your cheek to your hand, fingers intertwining with yours. “no, that’s me,” he said. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

your throat tightened, and you blinked quickly to stave off the tears threatening to spill. “you’re not allowed to make me cry right before bed,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly.

“then don’t fall asleep yet,” he whispered back, his forehead pressing against yours. “stay awake with me a little longer. just a little.”

you smiled, squeezing his hand. “okay,” you said softly. “just a little.”

and as the minutes stretched into hours, you stayed awake, wrapped in each other’s warmth, your whispered words filling the quiet spaces of the night. neither of you noticed when sleep finally came, your hands still clasped together, your hearts entirely at ease.

[moonperil6]

Blessed by a Trickster

Chapter Three: My King Almost Decapitates a Cute, Fuzzy, Helpful Little Thing

Prev/Next

Warnings: None, really

Word Count: 1.31k

Listen to: Open Arms

You scowled and huffed in annoyance, pushing the plant life out of your path.

You tripped over a tree root, and before you could fall unceremoniously to the dusty ground, Polites reached out and grabbed the straps of your armor to steady you.

“Thanks,” you said grudgingly. Polites’s hand was still on the straps of your armor, and you gave him a grin. “You can let go now.”

“Oh.” Polites felt heat rising to his cheeks as he quickly released his grip. He thanked the gods that he had his helmet so you couldn’t see his flushed face. Little did he know that you were blushing as well.

The second time you tripped, Polites stopped you before you could fall again. He seemed to be hovering, making sure you didn’t hurt yourself.

This time, when you straightened, you ended up nose to nose with your friend. You felt your heart beat faster and your eyes widened slightly.

Polites took a step back and took the hand he had been using to grasp your shoulder with him. Only then did he realize that you had been as stiff as a board.

Odysseus glanced at the two blushing messes behind him over his shoulder. “I don’t know if this has occurred to you two lovebirds,” he grumped. “But we need to find enough food to feed six hundred men. We don’t have time to waste.”

Polites watched as you ran to catch up with the captain and sighed, moving after you, just more slowly.

“You can relax, my friends,” he said.

“Huh?” Odysseus asked, looking back at Polites.

“I can tell you’re getting nervous, so do yourself a service. And try to relax, my friends.” Polites pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose as you all pushed further into the dense forest.

“I’m fine, Polites,” you tried to assure him.

But he continued, “think of all that we have been through. We’ll survive what we get into.”

Odysseus led you into a clearing with a running stream snaking through it, and as you crouched to refill Eurylochus’s flask, Polites plopped himself down beside you, Odysseus on your other side, sharpening his blade.

“I know you’re tired of the war and bloodshed. Tell me, is this how we’re supposed to live? Look at how you grip your sword, enough said. Why should we take when we could give?”

You realized that Polites had a vague outline of a point, but that wasn’t quite enough to get you to relax. Neither did Odysseus, who was still gripping his sword so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“You can show a person that you trust them.” Polites nudged your shoulder with his, letting you know that his next words were meant mostly for you. “When you stop and lower your guard. Here we have a chance for some adjustment. Give it a try, it’s not that hard.”

He stood and offered you his hand, eyes staring deep into yours. “I’m telling you, this life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms. Whatever we face, we’ll be fine if we’re leading from the heart.”

You considered his words for a moment before grabbing his hand. He hoisted you to your feet, still saying, “No matter the place, we can light up the world. Here's how to start.” He took both of your hands in his and continued, “greet the world with open arms. Greet the world with open arms.”

“Welcome.”

Odysseus instantly shot to his feet, sword still in hand. He pointed it at the speaker, a-

Small, cute, furry, thing?

The innocence of the little thing didn’t seem to deter Odysseus. He kept his sword pointed at the fuzzy animal. “Stay back,” he growled.

“Stay back,” the animal repeated. The forest behind it rustled, and more of the little creatures, looking almost identical to the first one, peeked out.

“My friend,” Polites said, placing a gentle hand on Odysseus’s sword, making it point lower. “Greet the world with open arms.”

“We’re only here for food,” Odysseus announced, shaking off Polites.

“Food,” the animals echoed.

“Six hundred friends are waiting for us to show our faces,” Odysseus claimed.

“Food,” the little creatures said again.

“Stay back, I’m warning you.” The captain positioned you behind Polites, earning him a glare from both of you.

“Food.”

“If we don’t get back safely, my men will turn this place into blazes,” Odysseus threatened.

The first fuzzy animal held out a bowl filled with purple fruit, looking up at you with mesmerizing eyes. “Here you go.”

You stepped out from behind Polities, watching his face light up as he took the bowl. “See?” He said, turning to you and Odysseus. “This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms. Whatever we face, we'll be fine if we're leading from the heart. No matter the place, we can light up the world. Here's how to start.” He tossed a fruit to you and you inspected it carefully.

Polites watched you eagerly as you split open the fruit. “Greet the world with open arms,” he said again. “Greet the world with… open arms…” You echoed.

It was worth it to see his smile brighten even more, but Odysseus took one half of the fruit from your hands and studied it. You watched his face darken with realization.

“My friend, I wish that I could say that I agree. But look at the way this fruit is glowing

and filled with glowing seeds. It took me a while to notice just what kind of fruit they eat. It's a lotus, it controls your mind and never lets you free.” Your own expression turned rather dark as Odysseus shoved his half of the fruit into Polites’s hands, much harsher than necessary.

“That’s what we’d get with open arms,” the captain snarled, stalking away.

You put a reassuring hand on Polites’s shoulder and squeezed slightly until he looked up at you. 

“Hey,” you said gently. “Maybe there’s… another option?”

Polites’s eyes lit up at the prospect and you smiled in return. He turned to the lotus eaters and opened his mouth, but you beat him to it.

“Lotus eaters,” you began. “We appreciate your kindness, and we apologize for our captain’s rudeness. He’s under a lot of stress at the moment.” You gestured to where Odysseus was sulking. 

Polites stepped forward. “Lotus eaters, we’d like to show our friend that kindness is brave. Could you tell us where there’s other food to eat?”

The Lotus Eaters looked up at you, and the lead one motioned for you to approach. 

You knelt down to its height and it whispered in your ear, “scary cave.”

Your eyes widened slightly. “Scary?” You asked slowly.

“Scary,” the Lotus Eater repeated in a solemn tone before stepping away.

“And where do we sail to find this food-filled cave?” You questioned.

“East. That way.” The Lotus Eaters all pointed in one direction in unison, the direction which you think you can safely assume is east.

“Thank you,” you said.

“Welcome,” they responded.

Polites grabbed your hand and led you to where Odysseus stood, much like he had done earlier on the ship. 

He spun you around, laughing. “This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms.” Polites’s attention turned to Odysseus. “I see in your face, there is so much guilt inside your heart.” You came to a stop, arm slung over Polites’s shoulders as he continued speaking softly to the captain. “So why not replace it and light up the world? Here’s how to start.”

He offered Odysseus a new lotus fruit. “Greet the world with open arms. Greet the world with open arms.”

You could barely hear it, but you could’ve sworn you heard Odysseus say, “greet the world with open arms.”

Polites smiled at you. “You can relax, my friends.”

[thisnameisnotspokenfor]

Because some of you are far faster than I anticipated....

Here are the first few pages of next chapter/scrapped pages of the last chapter

WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE READ CHAPTER 37. I AM SERIOUS >:(

ETA: I did add a little extra onto the snippet as a 'sorry' for some of you ToT

She nodded and silently listened as the star gestured to the surrounding glowing trees. “When the order had been finally established, a primordial star decided to give up her spot in the sky, opting instead to stay on earth to guide the order and firmly cement its placement as the bridge between our worlds. It was a move that impressed the other stars, and to show their support for the newly found order, they made the Asterius that you saw in the market. One created and cultivated from the power of each court to symbolize its unity within the order.”

“Was there any particular reason why they chose a tree of all things as a symbol?” she asked, as she stared at the glowing trees, gently swaying in the night breeze.

“Yeah…but what’s with your tone? Trees are cool!” he frowned, almost sounding offended.

“They’re alright…but I mean why do stars take such interest in them if they’re practically everywhere? Surely you guys must have cooler things than just…trees!”

“We do but…Have you ever noticed that no matter how far into the heavens a tree can ascend it must always stay rooted to the earth to survive? It never forgets its origins, no matter how far or great it grows…” he smiled thoughtfully as his foot scuffed against the ground. “Isn’t that something?”

Asha slowly nodded, and turned her eyes upwards “Hmm I guess it does sound a bit more…fascinating when you describe it like that…but why do yours glow?”

The star hummed thoughtfully as he rubbed his chin, “Well, the short scientific and aesthetic answer would be bioluminescence to attract nocturnal pollinators. Plus you can always appreciate their beauty no matter what time of day. It makes the forests nicer, doesn’t it?”

She nodded in agreement, “It does. But what’s the long answer?”

“Well,” he started as he straightened himself. “I don’t know the details exactly but I think it’s also because of their connection to some greater network of energy both with each other and the world around them. One of my nannies would always tell me about it when I was little and couldn’t stop climbing them but it’s pretty convoluted if I’m being honest.”

“A network of energy…” she whispered as her eyes trailed the trees’ glowing roots. “Like your energy?”

“Something like that,” he shrugged before thoughtfully staring at the sky. “I mean they sort of come from our world…so I guess it only makes sense that they would act like that…”

“You know before you told me all of this, I never would’ve thought that something as simple as a tree could hold so much meaning in the grand scheme of things,” she confessed. “Sure there was the wishing tree, but that felt more like a relic than anything else…not some political  cosmic display of diplomacy…”

“You’d be surprised…there’s a reason why most Asterius made today are no longer created by all four courts…”

“They aren’t?” she asked, a bit taken aback as the star shook his head.

“No not anymore, not since Deneb’s asterius came into the picture…”

“Deneb has an asterius?”

“Most members of the royal star families and high-ranking nobles do…but few have a tree as controversial as hers….” he hesitated as if mentally debating over something before he eventually nodded and turned to her. “Asha” he stated suddenly as she straightened herself in sudden preparation. “You remember how when we were in the forest you told me that you knew that the crimson court hated Deneb because of your father’s writings, right?”

“Right,” she nodded, trying not to shift uncomfortably. Somewhere in the depths of her mind, she could hear the king’s voice whispering to her. She couldn’t make out what he was saying but she was too afraid to find out.

“Did your father ever state why?” The star asked, thankfully silencing the king’s muffled voice as she shook her head. 

“No…his master had been vague about the situation…but from what I could tell, it seemed as if the bad blood between the two parties was a little more extensive than just the courts…it seemed like it involved the council too…”

“It did,” Cepheus carefully nodded. “But did he say anything else?”

“Well…he theorized that it was the result of some act of defiance she did a few years ago that involved her children…you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“I do,” he confessed. “I don’t know if you’ll like the story but I suppose for you to understand anything I’ll need to give you a few details…”

He gestured for her to follow as they slowly began to near the forest. “I’m not sure if I’ve told you this explicitly,” he started as the glowing trees and shrubbery began to surround them.   “but the crimson court and cerulean court have always had a mutual hatred of each other. They’ve led countless wars and battles against each other long before the order,  Deneb, and her children ever entered the picture.”

“Why?” She asked as she ducked beneath a low-hanging branch. “Was it differing philosophies? Scandalous love?” She asked the star who’d somehow managed to put a rather large walking distance between them. “Cultural differences? Why did they hate each other?”

He paused as if listening out for something before she finally made her way to his side, “Differing philosophies and a bloodthirsty competitiveness to conquer the galaxies,” the star frowned and abruptly looked away. Had…had he been ashamed of his court’s past? She wondered before he quietly continued, “Nevertheless it all seemed to come to a head when during one of these battles…the council, being as senile as they were, had grown both tired and indifferent to the constant fighting. So they decided to exercise their powers to ensure peace would prevail, one that, unlike their past attempts, could not be so easily dismissed…” The star sighed, slowly moving his hand as the air around his fingers began to glow a soft misty blue.

Slowly the world around them began to ripple, and blur.

She blinked, trying to rub the uneasiness from her eyes as her surroundings slowly began to come into focus as she looked around. They were still in a forest, that much she could be sure of as the familiar sight of large, thick glowing forestry greeted her.

But where the distant town of Banquo had once stood was gone, and in its place was a seemingly endless glowing body of water. 

Were they…at the beach? No this couldn’t have been the beach, at least not one she’d been familiar with. Her eyes traced along the light blue shoreline as she took one hesitant step forward before rubbing her eyes in disbelief.

The beach was glowing. Real beaches didn’t glow. But the feel of the calm sea breeze passing through her braids had nearly convinced her otherwise.

“Wait…” she started, looking around. “Is this another illusion like what you did with the scrolls?”

“Something of the sort,” the star smiled as he spoke from behind her. “Are you enjoying the view?”

She nodded, before looking around again, “Yeah! It’s…beautiful -,” her voice trailed off as she took in the sight of the star who’s skin was now a beautiful shade of cyan, while his hair was nearly white. 

Was this what a blue star looked like? She wondered, as she looked him over and over again.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring, but it was enough to earn herself an all too knowing grin as the star arrogantly extended a sapphire colored wing. “I was talking about the sea, but if you think I’m beautiful as well, and wish to stare,” he chuckled as another wing revealed itself. “then by all means, my dear-,” 

“What?!” She scoffed, before waving her hands dismissively as she looked away. Thank God her blushes weren’t visible. “Ha! No! No way! I was talking about the beach! Not you! It’s the beach that’s beautiful, see?! You’re just…blue!” 

“Mmhmm.” He hummed teasingly as his now gray colored iris seemed bright with laughter. “Well either way I hope you enjoy either view you choose to partake in….although I must admit asha…. That the sea, is unfortunately not located where your eyes are currently focused.” 

“I know that!” She snapped and sharply turned to face the body of water, hoping to enjoy any semblance of peace that she could get.

[estrellami-1]

Worth It

Listen.

Steve can deal with a lot, okay? He’s taken on Russian soldiers and interdimensional monsters and Billy fucking Hargrove, for Christ’s sake.

He’s strong and capable and he knows that. He does. Okay?

So the spider in the shower isn’t why he fell, tearing down the shower curtain in the process. Of course not.

Except… maybe it is.

And it’s not like spiders remind him of the Mind Flayer. They don’t, and he knows that’s done and over with. Henry’s dead and the gates are sealed. So that’s not it.

It’s just… spiders.

He hates them. He doesn’t really have a reason. There’s no traumatic childhood story. They’re just creepy and they freak him the fuck out.

He’s thankful he’s alone in his house, because having someone run up and see him sprawled on the floor, dick out, because of a spider would actually make this the worst day of his life.

So he’s safe this time. He was mostly finished with his shower anyways, so he grabs his towel and dries off in his room, but.

But.

Who’s to say the spider won’t crawl into his room? Into his bed? Who’s to say it won’t just follow him around the house, turning up on the couch cushion next to him, or on the coffeemaker.

His breath stutters in his chest.

No. He needs this spider gone. And he needs to be sure it’s gone for good. He has to kill it.

Come on. Come on. He killed demogorgons and demodogs and bit a demobat’s head off. He can kill a spider.

He gets dressed. Grabs a shoe.

Stalls on the edge, where the carpet meets the vinyl.

He steps back, paces around, charges at the bathroom.

Stalls on the edge, where the carpet meets the vinyl.

Come on, he thinks. “Come on,” he says. It’s just a spider.

It’s not like he’s gonna call anyone. Everyone he knows wouldn’t be able to stop laughing long enough to help him.

Except…

“‘Lo?” Eddie says.

“Eddie,” Steve says.

He can hear the smile in Eddie’s voice when he speaks next. “Hey, Steve. What’s up?”

“Um,” Steve says. “Are you busy?” His voice sounds high, thready. Anxious.

A pause. “Is everything okay?”

Steve blows out a breath. “I- I need help, okay, and you’re the only one who I think wouldn’t immediately laugh at me. Can- can you come over?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, still concerned. “Yeah, of course, I’ll be right over.”

He is. Steve spends his time waiting on the edge of the bathroom, running downstairs when Eddie knocks.

“Hey,” he says, trying and failing to make it sound like everything’s fine.

“Hey.” Eddie’s brows are furrowed. “What’s wrong? What do you need help with?”

Steve huffs out a stressed laugh, running fingers through his hair and tightening, pulling for a second. “Listen, I know this is- it’s embarrassing, okay, I know it is, I’ve- I’ve survived so much worse, and I know realistically it probably can’t even hurt me, but.” He bites his lip. Can’t look at Eddie. Leads him upstairs instead, stops at the threshold to the bathroom. “There’s a spider,” he mutters.

Eddie looks into the bathroom. Sees the curtain and puddle of water on the floor. Puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder, squeezes slightly. “Stay here,” he murmurs. “Where is it?”

“In the shower. Corner.” His eyes squeeze shut. “I- I know it’s nothing. But… be safe.”

“Hey.” Eddie nudges his arm. Steve opens his eyes. Eddie’s right in front of him, smiling softly, brows still furrowed a little. Worried for Steve. “Would it be better for you if you were out of the room?”

He thinks about it. Shakes his head. Eddie smiles, nods, and steps into the bathroom.

The door is blocking Steve’s view, but he can hear Eddie just fine.

“Hey, little mister,” Eddie says. “Listen, I know the bathroom’s a cool place, but you pervin’ on him isn’t really gonna fly with either of us. Sorry, but you’re getting evicted.” His boots stomp around, grabbing toilet paper, before moving back over to the shower. “Sorry,” he says again, before a light thump reverberates through the room. Steve feels it in his chest.

Eddie flushes it, washes his hands, and smiles at Steve. “Want me to check for more anywhere?”

Steve shakes his head, wraps his arms around himself. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem,” Eddie promises. He nods to the shower curtain. “Did you fall? Or just pull it down?”

Steve shakes his head. “Fell.”

“Are you okay? Any bumps or scratches anywhere?”

Steve blinks, takes stock. “Um. My- elbow, I guess, but it’s just a bruise.”

Eddie smiles, extends a hand. Stops before he touches Steve. “Mind if I check?”

Steve wordlessly holds his arm out. Eddie gently prods his elbow, feeling around. He smiles at Steve again. He’s still holding on. “All good,” he murmurs. “Anything else you need? I don’t mind looking around.”

Steve shakes his head. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t- I don’t need that. Can I thank you with a beer?”

“If you want to, sure, but I’m willing to call this a favor for a friend.” He inclines his head. “Mind grabbing it for me? I’m just gonna look around in here for a minute, make sure none of his buddies got in.” When Steve hesitates, Eddie puts his knuckles to Steve’s chin. “Hey,” he says softly. “I’ll be fine. How about you get us both a beer and sit in the living room. By the time you do that, I’ll be downstairs. Okay?”

“Okay,” Steve murmurs. “Thank you.”

Eddie chuckles, steps away. “Anytime, Stevie. Now out!” He cries, shooing Steve out of his own room, shutting the door behind him for good measure.

Steve laughs, walks downstairs. He’s still a little on edge, but he doesn’t see another spider.

Eddie’s true to his word; he’s been sitting on the couch for about a minute by the time Eddie comes thundering down the stairs. “My liege!” He exclaims, coming to kneel before Steve. “I hereby proclaim your quarters to be pest-free!”

Steve laughs. “My hero,” he says dryly, sitting forward to tap Eddie on both his shoulders with his beer. “I, uh, hereby proclaim you Sir Spider Killer.”

Eddie grins up at him, takes his beer, and sits on the couch next to Steve. “Do me a favor?”

Steve hums.

“You ever see one again, and you wanna call someone. You can call me.”

“I shouldn’t need that-”

“Shouldn’t or otherwise, you do,” Eddie tells him. “And I’d like to make your life easier if I can. So if that means coming over here and taking care of any creepy-crawlies that find their way in, then that’s that. I will, and I’ll do so gladly.”

Steve looks away, picks at the label of his beer. “Why do you care?”

“Because you’re worth it,” Eddie whispers. “You deserve it.”

Steve shuts his eyes. “What if you’re the only person who thinks that?”

“I’m not,” Eddie says immediately. “And Robin would probably inflict bodily harm on you if she knew you were talking like this. But even if I am… that doesn’t make it less true. It’s still true. You still deserve it. You’re still worth it. Not because of anything you’ve done, or who you are. It’s just because you are.”

Steve sighs out a shaky breath. “Okay,” he whispers. “If you say so.”

“I do.” He squeezes Steve’s shoulder. “Now, the only question is, what are we going to watch?”

[bleep-bloop-boo]

YESSSSS

(im a california gurl thats magical in daisy dukes and bikinis)

YAYAYAYAY FIREEEEEEE :DDDDDDD

WAIT AM I SHORT😭 IDK I CONSIDER MYSELF AVERAGE BUT JUS IN CASR I GET KIDNAPPED BY SANTA YK

[0lliecl0wn]

PUNCH OUT HEADCANONS: Clueless Friends Edition

so i showed my friends the punch out cast and asked them to make up headcanons for them (they have never seen nor heard of punch out outside of me rambling to them about it)

so uh

here it is

GLASS JOE

-Wet the bed as a kid

-Probably still does it

-Denys it

-Goes honk shoo honk shoo when he sleeps

-Had a mullet in middle school

-Has to draw on his eyebrows

-Mouth Breather™

-Wears a cap and nightgown and holds a candle at night

-Can’t swim

VON KAISER

-Bartender

-Screams into his pillow at night

-Screams like a little girl

-Wore light-up Sketchers in middle school

-Got bullied for it

-Goes to the gym to cope

-Fucking YEETS the dumbells

-Flexes on people (also to cope)

-If he is told to sleep on the couch, he will sadly sulk there like a emo person (cue sad hamster music)

DISCO KID

-Babygirl

-Zesty

-Took ballet/gymnastics

-Optimist

-Accidentally broke a trampoline

-Was the popular kid in school

-THE sweetest guy

-Cat person

-Owns 4 cats

-Wears fluffy robes

KING HIPPO

-Plays League of Legends

-Tweaks out HARD at Angry Birds and Super Mario Wii (friend is totally not projecting)

-Really good at board games

-Gamer

-Patrick Star kinnie

-Does NOT cackle. He giggles

-Has Live Laugh Love framed over his toilet

-His snores have caused earthquakes

-Heavy sleeper

PISTON HONDO

-”He did WHAT in his Honda?!”

-Behaves like that one English teacher you had in middle school

-aka the ”Never in my 15 years of teaching have I seen a substitute report this bad” teacher

-ponders

-Dances to animation memes

-Worked at Burger King once

-Constantly pissed

-Goes honk mimimimi when he sleeps

-If he ate a cheeseburger he would explode

-Was the guy who made the post that just says “everytime a new chicken sandwich releases”

BEAR HUGGER

-Smells PUTRID

-Real name is Cleetus

-Lumberjack

-Has a lisp

-Gets food in his beard

-Eats it (EWWWW 🤢)

-His theme song is “Entry of the Gladiators” (aka clown music)

-Wouldn’t survive a day in the military

-Plays Microsoft Flight Simulator

-Goes “weeeeee!” as the plane flies

-Has a poster that says “Eat Slur Game Repeat”

-Redneck

-Has a shirt that says ”These Fists Are Rated E for Everyone”

GREAT TIGER

-HOT

-Has the most beautiful hair but hides it

-Binged My Little Pony

-Binged Twilight

-Plays with Barbie dolls

-Listens to Kpop

-AMAZING at Just Dance

-Also good at DDR

-Plays Pikmin

-Loves the Stone Pikmin

DON FLAMENCO

-Once got addicted to cough drops

-Uses really bad pick up lines

-Does really bad trickshots to impress girls

-Slips like a cartoon character. His shoes go flying every time

-Watched MLP with Great Tiger

-Watches Mean Girls

-Kins Regina George

-Cried when she got hit by a bus

-Zesty

-Scoliosis

-Can pick my friend up with one hand

-Would lean on a wall, say “hey cutie, you free tonight?” and immediately have a coughing fit

-Took an Am I Gay? Quiz. It said yes and refuses to believe it (internalized biphobia)

-Likes big butts and he cannot lie

ARAN RYAN

-Menace

-Actually very lightweight, refuses to admit it

-Bullies kids on ROBLOX

-Keeps getting censored in chat

-Plays Dress to Impress

-Would hit you if so desired

-Uses Joker quotes

-Bakes pink cupcake in spare time

-Would make a balloon animal for a kid and then pop it like Gru

-The guy he tickled in his character intro was Don Flamenco

-Killed someone, steals, graffitis, takes candy from babies

-Should be in jail

-ADHD

-”Ya prob’ly got cheeseburgers in those gloves, have ya Mac?!” “well you have horseshoes”

SODA POPINSKI

-Dropped on the head as a kid

-Nicknamed ”Pinhead Larry”

-Oiled up

-Naturally loud

-Skipped leg day

-Mr. Krabs walking sound when he tiptoes

-Speedruns Hello Neighbor

-Hands are too big for the keyboard

-Makes dad jokes and laughs at himself because no one else laughs

-Gets bullied by Aran Ryan for his dad jokes

BALD BULL

-Someone threw a bowling ball at his head

-Peak Male Performance

-40% chip (context for this is in comments)

-Watched game shows, was in one once

-Blurts out the answers at the TV, gets pissed every time they get it wrong and screams

-Screams like the ash baby

-Shakes randomly

-Ate lead paint

-Ate a glow stick

-”ladies, ladies, calm down, theres enough of me to go around” (stolen from don flamenco, difference is this actually works)

-ash baby coded???

-Teeters on the line of being ugly and hot

-Gets beauty sleep

-20 step skincare routine

SUPER MACHO MAN

-”he looks like a founding father”

-Shrimp posture

-UGLY??

-Listens to phonk unironically

-Has jiggle physics

-Uses his chest to type on keyboards

-says “eureka!” when he as an idea

-FAKE chain

-wears speedos (canon)

-its his only outfit

-played five nights at freddys and shit himself

-Pimp

-GILF

-Looks 72, is 27

MR. SANDMAN

-Drag Queen

-Chappell Roan listener

-Once tried to wax his nose but got q tips stuck in it

-REALLY into horoscopes and gemstones

-NAPALMED a homeless shelter

-Dances like the dame tu cosita guy

-fucken BUSTS IT DOWN to every song

-Throws gang signs in his boxing gloves??

-Does the Omni-Man squat sometimes

-Ate a lightbulb and that's why his skin glows

-Skips to the song “Mr. Sandman” because he’s babygirl like that

LITTLE MAC

-Floats in the air when he smells pie

-Anime protagonist

-Loves Ben 10

-Had a greasy mohawk

-Ate a bug

-Sticks his head out of the car window

-Gulps and goes “EEEYIKES!!!” when he has to fight a strong opponent

-Listens to Mitski

-Loves the movie Ratatouille

-His favorite character is Remy’s brother

-Makes kandi bracelets

-Asserts dominance by T-posing

DOC LOUIS

-Wears yoga pants

-Has asthma

-Runs up the stairs on all fours

-Maximum silly

-Watches romcoms and cries

-Draws watches on his wrist and looks at it when someone asks him for the time

-Watched Skibidi Toilet AND knows all of the lore

-Doesn’t know what a tampon is

-Listens to the song that goes “once I was seven years old”

-Mama’s boy

-HORRIBLE driver