#meanwhile the post doesn't tag shit

[i-eat-deodorant]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

i am cackling irl at this

"Your capacity for cruel and unusual torture has surpassed even mine, Lamb."

Anyways special thanks to @lammydrawsthings for giving me such a vivid image of this

[arkhammaid]

well!

[galacticlamps]

very minor thing I still definitely deserve a medal for:

being raised catholic, and now as an adult repeatedly falling in love with characters that fandoms like to declare catholic, but still managing to reject those headcanons because at heart I'm too much of a stickler for accurate analysis to get behind them when i know the person in question is really meant to be anglican/episcopalian/whatever other flavor of christian

i am being, as the poets say, so brave about it

[sunderwight]

Cumplane where Airplane, in a fit of either bravery or insanity or positive or negative self-esteem (he's not totally sure) decides to cosplay as Luo Binghe and post the pictures online.

Of course, he doesn't do it as "Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky", he knows he has some questionable fans and doesn't really want to hand them a picture of his face. So he posts the images under one of the pseudonyms he uses for lurking around the comment section and social media tags. It's just a handful of images of him looking like the protagonist in his head, attempting to strike cool poses in a wig and some period clothes (he rented both).

The reception is... mixed. Airplane does not have abs, after all, nor a flawless complexion or much skill with makeup. He is fat, freckled, and awkward. The PIDW readership is not known for being particularly supportive either. In fact they're mostly a crab bucket of negativity and masculine posturing, so he gets a lot of mean-spirited commentary.

It's fine. Nothing he hadn't expected. Really solidifies for him that posting was a fit of madness, actually! What did he even expect? He's bracing himself for the worst when he sees that Peerless Cucumber, notorious hate-reader and defender of Luo Binghe's honor, has commented. Ah, shit. He's probably going to rip into Airplane for daring to sully his precious Binghe's reputation by dressing up like that, isn't he?

The comment is long, too. Fuck. Airplane's not sure if his self-esteem can take a comprehensive beating from the champion hater himself, but he's too curious not to look.

Shen Yuan, in the meanwhile, is just pleased that there has FINALLY been a Luo Binghe cosplayer who looks the part. Of course Luo Binghe wouldn't have exaggerated muscles, those are just a product of dehydration. Binghe spent most of his disciple years running around chopping wood and hauling laundry, and then later doing whatever he could to pack on the calories in order to make it through the Abyss. A hefty workman's build would only make sense for him, anything else would be nonsense. Airplane also described Luo Binghe as having a beautiful face, which Shen Yuan won't blame most cosplayers for not being able to just make happen, but a beautiful face doesn't mean "covered in so much makeup it looks like an anime character"! When would Luo Binghe have the time or inclination to put on makeup? A natural beauty with some inevitable blemishes would make more sense and be much more appealing, and this "Airplane Crashing to the Ground" (funny play on the author's name, Shen Yuan approves) has very pretty features! Everyone hating on this cosplay is just an idiot, the only actual problem is that his wig is poorly fitted.

So in true Peerless Cucumber fashion, he lays this all out.

This gets him embroiled in arguments with several other fans, who even accuse him of actually being the guy in the photos, claiming that there's no other reason why he would defend them. Shen Yuan doesn't care if people think that's him, because that's still the best Luo Binghe cosplay he's ever seen, but he doesn't want them doubting the sincerity of his arguments. So, he decides that the only reasonable thing to do is dress himself up in cosplay as well and then post the actual photos of himself.

While he'd like to dress up as one of Luo Binghe's allies like Mobei Jun, or maybe someone cool like Yue Qingyuan, he is too pedantic to think he could pull that off. Those guys are all strong warrior types, and Shen Yuan is a scrawny pale rich kid who looks like he'd probably lose a fight with a wet paper towel. The only characters he could plausibly pull off would be some of the more consumptive members of Binghe's harem and maybe, maybe, one of the weaker villains like Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Yuan is NOT posting pictures of himself crossplaying to the central nexus of toxic masculinity itself, so... Shen Qingqiu it is!

Poor Airplane has to go sit and stare at a while for a while. Peerless Cucumber likes his cosplay. Peerless Cucumber, ardent defender of Shang Qinghua's sellout crappy main character mary-sue, thinks Airplane is good-looking enough to cosplay as him. And said so. Repeatedly. And then posted borderline thirst-trap villain cosplay of himself, inadvertently revealing in the process that he is hot.

What the. What. What?!

Anyway, Shen Yuan suggests that they attend the next convention both cosplaying together because Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky is supposed to be doing a meet & greet at that one, and wouldn't it be fun to go as a pair? And Airplane agrees before his brain catches up and he realizes that might present a problem.

[sawyingthroughthewasteland]

part of me wants to try using the polls since i have them to see if any of my followers actually are interested in my writing and to see if anyone is secretly begging me to write a new chapter or some shit but also I know if I get little to no responses I'll feel really sad and unmotivated so uh

i dunno

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

what people think pro ship means: dangerous people who want to harm children in real life and/or think taboo subjects in real life are justified

what pro ship actually is about: the belief that people are allowed to enjoy fictional thing however they want, as long as it's fictional and no one in real life gets harmed or harassed in any way, and as long as they tag their trigger warnings properly.

most pro ship folks I've come across are just "hey, you like this fucked up thing that is fictional? okay, cool. you do you, man. I myself don't even like this thing that you like, but hey, it's not real. and I trust that you know the difference between fiction and reality, so you do you. if it ever gets too much for me, I will just block or mute you and move on with my life, but that doesn't mean I think you're a horrible person in real life because of the fictional thing you like, it just means I'd rather not see or engage with this thing that can make me uncomfortable. I still want you to have fun doing what you love, and I still think you're cool as fuck. love and respect, dude"

meanwhile most anti ship I've seen are like "omg you like this fictional thing where fictional children are harmed??! Red Flag Red Flag. put this gross piece of shit behind bars immediately!!!"

and I'm just ????? I don't normally engage in fandom wars, but I think, as long as you don't harass anyone in real life and as long as no one in real life is in danger or is harmed, how you enjoy fictional things is none of my business. and I'm not gonna make any "call out post" where I encourage my followers to harass you because you like fucked up fictional things that I personally don't like or believe is wrong either.

I mean, from personal experience, I was exposed against my will to thing I didn't want to see from anti's screenshot of fanart or fanfic where they encourage their followers to harass this person whose fanart or fanfic, that was screenshot and spread by them, was originally tagged properly with all the trigger warnings so that people who didn't want to see it wouldn't get exposed to it. until anti screenshot it and flaunted it around in the name of being morally superior while also, at the same time, advocated for the witch hunt against someone who just wanted to mind their own business. so... the irony. lol

fandoms used to be more peaceful before Fandom Police starts their witch hunting, but it's a good thing we can just block these people and keep on enjoying our blorbos however we want to enjoy them.

and I'll always encourage every artist to write whatever they want, draw whatever they want. don't let people who think they're "morally superior" tell you you can't make art this way or that way. my best advice would be to block and ignore and keep on creating what you want. they may be loud, but at the end of the day they're just noises and they're not worth your attention x

[amplexadversary]

The bee catching scenario has me wanting to introduce Domon Kasshu to Dunmeshi XD

I think he'd find it validating. (And he'd really like Senshi. Older guy, mentor type, rough living, manly af (by human standards)? Let's just say he already has positive associations.)

Rain might also find it validating for other, less enthusiastic reasons (Marcille sympathies)

Okay, headcanons and speculation time...

If Rain is as bad at cooking as Domon makes it sound*, WHY is she the one who cooks for them during the Survival Eleven?? 🤔

The obvious answer would of course be "because Domon is even worse at it."

But, that doesn't lend itself to explaining why he would tease Rain about her skills (except for, I mean to be fair, he would do that). But also, growing up in the jungle, you'd think cooking is one of the basic survival skills he'd be forced to learn pretty competently, right?

Another answer could be "because Rain enjoys cooking and insists on it and/or doesn't realize how bad she is."

But... that seems unlikely, as she literally never mentions it that I'm aware of.

Anyways, I think the more interesting answer, or rather question, is...

... What if Domon doesn't suck at cooking? What if he's even pretty decent at it?

... BUT... what if... after growing up in the wilderness of the Guyana Highlands, the literal only things he knows how to cook are really weird?

Like, really weird to the average person of most cultures (and certainly literally anyone from the Colonies)...

Like... something that Bear Grylls would eat.

It ends up something like:

Rain is working on the Shining one evening, in an area with sparse resources and no bodies of water to fish or anything. She's like "Hey Domon, can you handle dinner tonight?"

He's like "Yeah, of course."

What Rain is thinking: ... the boxes of rations and preserved food are *right there.* He'll use that, it's not even a question.

Domon: *goes out and catches a bunch of bees*

Rain surfaces from making her repairs and sees him grilling them; is overtaken by horror.

Rain: "UUUHMMMM ACTUALLY, why don't you let me cook tonight? And y'know what, I'll also do it tomorrow. And the day after that."

*I can't remember whether it's mentioned more than that one time in the anime, when Domon suggests a small child could teach Rain how to cook and she is, of course, offended. But in the side story Tenchi Tengaku, Domon says that Rain almost always was the one to cook during the Survival Eleven, and that as a result he hasn't eaten a "decent meal" in forever. So anyways... this has been something I've been pondering. 😂

[yuri-is-online]

Head up this ask is kinda weird.

So do you think people wear perfume in omegaverse AUs 😀? Because the fact that everyone already has scents, perfume has to kind if clash with it right? Maybe some people use light perfumes to enhance their scents, and then those "Alpha Male" (omg that just gets a whole other meaning) podcast bros call it catfishing.

Would perfume even exist in the first place? I don't really see a purpose for perfume if everyone already has a scent... but bro imagine Yuu (who isn't from an a/b/o world and is getting really confused as to what the fuck an omega is and cringes every time of the guys calls themselves an alpha. Meanwhile everyone else is trying to figure out why this weirdo doesn't even have the slightest sent. Especially jade becuase I'm on that JadeYuu shit rn) that wears perfume or cologne trying to get more. And when they can't find any at Sam's they just try to fucking make it. I mean it's a little weak smelling and some of the notes don't exactly go with the others but hey! They have something to spritz now! :)

And now their friends are doing double takes because bro you did not smell like that last night. Also it smells artificial and it's weirding them out

Anyways I sincerely apologize for making you read that.

oh no you don't go apologizing for this confused, a/b/o is a guilty pleasure of mine (also i am doing concept drawings for asmodeaus rn. the timing of this ask made me laugh real hard) This isn't a smutty ask, but just so all of you know, I am good with those since I need the practice with suggestive stuff. I just won't be very good at it for a bit.

Anyway. I have never actually thought about this, but I have always sort of thought of scents in abo worlds to be a very instinctual thing that no amount of perfume can cover up. I don't know if you've ever encountered a scent you can taste but I have, a light in the room of a pool I was swimming in went out and let out a smoke so foul you could still feel it on your tongue and in your lungs when you pinched your nose. It was beyond overwhelming. That doesn't mean there's any less of a reason for perfumes to exist though, as I talked about in that post about Rollo's handkerchief in the past disease was thought to have been spread through foul smelling odors and bad air. If anything I could see that being an even bigger superstition in an abo world where scent is already super important. I could see people trying to make scents that complimented their natural one, maybe it could even be a courting ritual for an Alpha to give an Omega they are interested in a perfume they've made that compliments their smell and has notes of their own... Oh! Or working in notes of their scent to their own perfume to indicate interest!

a-twistedheartslonging mentioned in their tags on that post about Jade's scent that Morays use scents to attract a mate, so if you take that idea about perfume being a courting step I could see Jade just being so distraught that his beloved pearl has no discernible scent. And what's worse they keep changing what little scent they do have! What's he supposed to do with that huh? I think he'd be the only one excited by Yuu making their own perfume because it gives him an excuse to talk about the scents that Yuu likes and what perfumes are like in their world. Maybe they could make a perfume together next time (⚈_⚈)? Oh haha he's just thinking out loud he knows you aren't close enough for that ye- Oh you... you would like that? You think he smells nice and you want to know what sort of perfume or cologne he uses?

(he'd get so delulu so fast if you said that. sure Yuu you can smell just like him c: just let him dim the lights a bit first he hears that's important c: just remember to be gentle with him ok???)

[lavender-phoenix-flames]

"Jc AnTI's are so jobless the are so obsessed with jc, they should cope"

Says the ppl who rewrote the whole novel and made up stuff with no proof or evidence just to 'like' their fave. Constantly harassing and discoursing with people if they disagree with their deluded opinions calling them 'anti'.

Babying a whole ass adult man and "wwx is an unreliable narrator aksually you should look at both sides" while they parade jc's words like it's the ultimate truth. Making up millions of excuses for his abusive and toxic behavior that harms jin ling and people around him. Undermining the effects of the abuse that jl goes through and blaming wwx for shit he didn't do. Holding wwx responsible for deaths of jiangs and yanli even when they know he wasn't at fault here. And worst of all saying "mxtx doesn't understand her own characters" like be for fucking real. In jc stans minds everything jc does is justified they will not show any proof for thier arguments but seethes at the facts we dared to point it out to them.

If engaging in fandom discussions makes someone jobless than every fricking person on tumblr is unemployed lmao.

Now they wanna barge in on canon jc tag and say "this is slander and bashing of my lil meow meow tsundere angry grape, you anti!!!😡" meanwhile the text itself presents and highlights jc's behavior in a negative light. Ask them to present proof of 'jc good natured behavior' and they are blank or they would post/take shit completely out of context.

In conclusion there is no point in arguing with jc stans who have completely and willingly let go of any kind of sensibility, logic, and chose to accept their delusions. Also canon jc fans and "jc antis" y'all are doing great, mxtx is proud of us. Keep discussing canon jc more so than ever. We don't need to make another tag, let's protect this one.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Saw a post somewhere in the Masters of the Air tags that said Bucky Egan is Lewis Nixon if Lewis Nixon gave into his impulses, and I need to respectfully disagree.

Bucky Egan is--to use some broad terms--young, dumb, and full of come. He's not stupid. He's just 25-ish with strict ideas about what it means to be an American (he enlisted when the war broke out, not after Pearl Harbor; which is some truly Wisconsin shit), and he wants to be the coolest, hippest cat in the room (his vernacular is based on loving media about mobsters and trying to emulate them). He drinks and fucks and parties because those are things that the characters in his favorite books do. And those are things he WANTS to do. Because he's 25 and can work the Clark Gable 'stache. In episode 4, when he sits vulnerably naked in front of that big picture window in his hotel room, having bedded a woman with a dark past (again, see his love of mobster stories; she's a femme fatale in his mind), he is shattered at watching the bombs drop on London. He'd known it was happening. But to see it. It's seeing the truth of it. Understanding that he, as a pilot, knows the level of destruction being attempted, and being able to accurately guess how well it went.

There's a moment where Paulina asks why he's all the way out in Hammersmith. It's clearly not central London. When he watches the bombs, they're not close by. But then he's walking down the street in his pilot's uniform in a generally intact suburb. But someone did get hit. One person DID get hit. And she cries and screams for someone whom she can't decide is alive or dead.

That's Bucky's own thoughts about Curt. That's Bucky's own thoughts about the men who flew the day before. That's Bucky's own thoughts about every man in every fort that went down. They're alive. No, they're dead. No, they're alive. No, they're dead.

What we're seeing by the end of episode 4, is Bucky faced with the unrelenting truth of death in war in a way he hid from himself in so many ways for so long. Partly by fucking and drinking and partying.

The difference between Bucky Egan and Lewis Nixon is that Lewis Nixon went into the war believing everything was shit. And he drank his way through the war because everything was shit. And he made a truly heroic attempt to blow up his friendship with Dick because everything was shit.

Lewis Nixon, if being allowed to give into his impulses, would have drank himself to death during the war. I believe that completely. Fuck, we know he had a hard time for several years after.

Bucky Egan, until he sees the bombing in London for himself after one of his closest friends has disappeared in battle (Curt) and another close friend (Buck) goes up without him, he doesn't let the war touch him. He doesn't let the WORLD touch him.

Bucky Egan drinks and fucks and parties because he LIKES IT. And he wants to keep it up because if he can keep it up, things can't be that bad.

But they are that bad.

Meanwhile, Buck Cleven is NOT Dick Winters. He doesn't drink. He doesn't gamble. He doesn't fuck. Sure. But Dick Winters didn't do those things because he was raised in a family where those things were held up as signs of moral fortitude and self-discipline. Buck Cleven doesn't do them because his abusive father did them all and into severe excess.

But Dick Winters would NEVER slow dance with a big dog to make his best friend laugh, and Buck Cleven would. Neither Dick Winters nor Buck Cleven would ever back out of a fight, but Dick Winters would never shame a man for being scared while Buck Cleven did. And rightly fucking so, frankly.

What's so interesting to Bucky and Buck is that "two randos with very different views of the world became the closest of friends" ALSO happened in Band of Brothers (and, in fact, in Generation Kill between Ray and Brad [a reminder I haven't seen the Pacific), and it speaks to how friendship bonds form differently in different situations but there seems to be some proof that people with opposite experiences in life can find common ground with a common goal between them.

[currentlylivingonaprayer]

my top favorite kimchay fanfics

In no particular order

(Even though nobody asked)

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40707996

dancing with our hands tied by MajorinMonster

After Chay gets jumped by a rival mafia gang he decides he needs a reputation so people won't touch him again. Kim is just there, trying to get back into chays good books.

9/10 recommend

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3061830

The idiots & idioms series by snickerdoodlles

Chay steals kims official wik account and post absolute unhinged things. Kim does nothing to stop him.

A must read for giggles

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45252880

Five Minutes by littlemisslawyer

Chays is a doctor and has been sent out of Thailand for many years. The day he comes back and wants nothing more than to take a break from work Kim has the audacity to get shot right in front of him.

Lots of cussing and chay calling kim 'pretty boy' and 'asshole/bastard'. Perfect

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43953225

Idolistic by ditchlilly

Wik centric fic. Kim likes to post false information of himself from a side account and chay somehow know what of the things he says are true or false. Kim gets suspicious and tries to find out who this boy is.

Lots of TENSION. And kittens. I absolutely love this one. Stayed awake till 3 am giggling so much I thought I would wake my family up. A must read. Definitely in my top 2.

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50830555

Progression by Azile (WitnessMarks)

Porchay trains to becomes stronger after their break up, kim, meanwhile, doesn't handel it well and then gets kidnapped. Chay is one of the people to come to his rescue. Kim comes back quite damaged and chay is one of the only people he feels really comfortable being around. Both of them are confronted with their still existing feelings for the other.

absolute masterpiece. Read in one sitting, even though it's still updating. Can only recommend. This story is batteling with Idolistic for first place.

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3489094

The KIM IS SO LOVED series by wayupthere

No comment. Read the tags, you'll know what it's about.

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45749062

Idle Talk by Iamabudgie

After someone posts a blind item on a gossip site, Kim is forced to confront something he has been delaying for months.

Absolutely amazing. Much deeper plot than you think when you first start it. Updates are months apart, but they deliver every time. Definitely in my top 3.

~~

Edit:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52988125

I Fell for You by @liesineyes

Kims family treats him like absolute shit. Chay and Porsche just want to find out out why, while also planning to show Kim real family love.

Love this story. Not many chapters yet, but beautiful and makes me sad and happy at the same time.

~~

Edit edit:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52593382

BREAKING NEWS by Pens

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48575617

Back on the Beat by Pens

It's kimchay works, with the most beautiful fanart I've ever seen and it makes my cheeks ache form smiling.

Also check out their tumbler account @shou-jpeg for more kimchay content.

~~

and of course the overall classics like an elegant mechanism by Laughsalot3412, or meet me where the light greets the dark by froginthesun.

I know some of these authors are here on tumbler, but I habe no idea how to tag them in a post, so I will tag them in the comments. Please tell me if I forgot someone. Check out their accounts too.

Also, if you have a recommendation, I'm open for them.

[will80sbyers]

You hate Twitter just because there are many Mileven stans who tell the truth of things.

Try to accept this ship, because they are still together and make out again, they never break up.

Your Will would only be used to conclude the plot of the series.

Accept it.

Byler is endgame and you'll see that next season, but I don't hate twitter because of milevens, I find you all very boring and many of you on twitter just repeat the same stupid stuff again and again and only know how to be homophobic and aggressive, others are normal people and I don't bother them and they don't bother me, some multishippers even follow me because I believe Mike is bi and mileven doesn't bother me that much either way

I don't even see milevens most of the time in my tl because I'm not using twitter to be actively in the stranger things fandom since most of the ppl there are only looking to fight constantly on both sides, meanwhile you all are in my blog here sending stuff like links to mileven tweets that I don't even check because it's BORING

I hate twitter because most of the people like you constantly have to hate on others for random things that are not even that important and many can't even do it with their face attached to their profile and are saying the nastiest shit publicly literally bullying others that are minding their business and they start talking about their physical appearance to attack them or worse, I have transphobic and biphobic/homophobic tweets constantly in my tl or people that respond to those and so I end up witnessing every EVIL thought the people on there are spewing daily and I also see the posts about the genocide with children being killed and people under it replying with some nasty evil shit about these babies and I see the literal massive campaigns to hate on others and people telling each other to kill themselves and all of these things that on Tumblr I don't see as much except when people like you send me stupid shit or wish me death on my ask box because of what I ship in a fictional TV show

I don't give a fuck about what you think and I have no doubt in byler while you are terrified of mileven breaking up and that's why you come in my space and I usually don't, that's the big difference between us

Stop sending me this shit or I will put it in your tag too and fill it with things that, I assure you, you don't want in it.

[bcacstuff]

The conversation Alice had with a fan and you mention that there is stong language tell more about that? Was it her who used it to the fan and was it fan who did that or talking shit about Sam?

I think you meant t write 'slip' 😉

So yes, before all kind of crazy stories start to occur, and this is actually the subject I wanted to address but as well had to think about how to do it in a correct way, as honest as I possibly can but also with integrity.

You see, it concerns DMs, and yes, meanwhile someone showed them to me and I have read them. I could surely have said no, I don't want that, but at the same time, I had 2 Anons claiming Alice had answered fans in DM. I showed you part of the Anon message:

"Alice has been replying to a fan in DM this I know 10000% saying Sam followed her and sent her DM and now she’s posted in London."

The rest was more or less calling Sam out, so i didn't like to post that part.

So I felt a bit in dubio, one side doesn't want to be secretive, the other side is thinking, those are DMs, not meant for public consumption to begin with.

Also, I need to emphasize that I was shown these DMs second hand. There is no way I can verify. I'm not saying I don't trust the person who showed them to me, I'm merely saying, I can not verify how genuine they are, is this really what this person in DM said or not. So I really would emphasize this and keep that in mind when reading the rest of this post.

I'm not literally gonna write what was in the DMs, but will try to give an objective summary of it.

I saw 2 DM convo's, by 2 fans separately and not at the same time with Alice. One DM convo was short, fan asking, she answered, th other was a little longer more a little convo. Both starting with asking her how she got Sam following her. She answered both. (which I have to say I find surprising, it is quite easy to ignore). But okay, she seemed to have answered both of them. Telling how Sam slid into her DMs, now I don't feel that is something new, that part we know (hence I feel I can tell that part). And Anon 2, i don't know when, I just know he started following her on 13 June. She went on with more personal stuff he did and said they DM-ed daily.

But she was also sort of bragging that he invited her to London. Now both DMs were before this weekend. One started on 20 June, and they ended last Wednesday. So nobody knew by then Sam was going to be in London and at the tennis match. My Anon also wrote Fridaynight, before we knew he was in London, but she wrote because Alice posted a picture tagging her hotel in London. And yeah, your question ismy question as well, why on earth did she felt the need to advertise that?

Then in both DMs she suddenly (and imo unnecessarily) said something on Sam's behalve which was not so nice. Something both fans I know felt hurt by. You could say, perhaps he told her about fans harassing women he's been connected with somehow, but from what i saw these fans were not harassing, were asking her something in a friendly way, curiosity, she could have ignored, or simply have given a short answer without all the rest. I feel it was not her place to say something like that on his behalf, whether it is true or not, it was not on her to do so.

I'm not gonna spell out what exactly was said, but it was unkind, hurtful for the (curious) fans, and unnecessary. I know some might have their thoughts about the fans contacting her, and I in no way would encourage anybody to do so (and I surely never did or will do so myself). But that is not a reason to be hurtful and say things on someone else's behalf that hurt his fans.

As said, and i emphasize again I can not verify this all, if that is really what she said. And that is also why I wish not to spell something like that out, here my integrity is at play. I just can say, the DMs didn't look fabricated/photoshopped or anything. But I just can't verify.

Anyway, whatever happened to Be Kind!?

[feukt-42]

Yet another post about Leda

You know, its kind of funny, but I've been browsing ER fanfics and fancontent almost daily for a while now (pls help), and one thing I've noticed is that a lot of people just. do not want. to put Leda and the gang in their fanfics. The most out of all Miquella's followers I found was Ansbach with 68 fics on Ao3. Leda herself comes at second with 48 fics and the others just kind of fizzle out after that. By comparison, Messmer, another DLC character, already has 500 fics.

Now, I know that this in large part due to the Messmer horny. But still. There's been 1,372 fics released in the ER tag since the DLC released as of me writing this. That doesn't really explain it. A good explanation might be that souls fans like to dwell on the pre-canon lore era we don't get to see, but even then, I remain disappointed by the lack of Leda in those fics as well. I have read several Haligtree-or-adjacent-focused fics written post SotE and few of them feature Leda or the needle knights, which is honestly a shame because Miquella having his own order of knights (almost counterbalance to the cleanrots), is a very interesting idea, and I am starving for Leda interacting with literally any member of that cast, her whole deal is just so interesting. And its not like Miquella doesn't care about her and she's just a weird fanboy, he gave her a wholeass rune and shit.

"But OP," you might be asking, "why dont you just write your own fic then ?". And you see, that is an excellent point, but I am unfortunately a coward with no confidence in my writing skills. So instead, I decide to make this.

I hereby present :

My Leda facts/analysis/interpretation/theories collection !

I am making this mostly to gush about Leda to spark interest in her as a character and maybe give interested writers who have actual skill to use this to get some inspiration. By no means am I suggesting that this is a guide everyone should follow, this is mostly just my inane ramblings about a character i am obsessed with. Still, if it helps someone make something, that's a net positive in my book.

without further ado, let's get into it.

Part 1 : Miscellaneous Facts

Fact number 1 : Leda doesn't see grace (at least her character model implies so):

I don't remember where it was, but I remember seeing a post that had every SotE NPC's eye colour in it. And a cool thing about that was that only a few characters didn't have the grace of gold in their eyes. And I remember specifically getting to Leda, noble knight of Miquella, and finding out that her eyes do not have a single trace of gold in them. They are grey with a blood-red clouding.

And I just found that so interesting it made me make this post, because what does it mean ? How did she lose it ? Did she ever have it in the 1st place ? Some of you might be thinking it's because she follows Miquella and not the GO, but the funny part is that, again, most of the others have it !

Hornsent has it, Ansbach has it, Freyja has it, Ymir has it, Moore has it, even the fucking madding hand has it. So why doesnt Leda ? (this also goes for some of the other NPCs who don't have it but im not spinning them in my head like a microwave so too bad ig)

Fact number 2 : She definitely killed the other needle knights

Ok so I already talked about this somewhere but I don't remember where so let's just start over from the beginning. The description of the Retaliatory Crossed-Tree states there were once more Needle Knights but now there's only one left. Meanwhile, Leda's sword says it "still reeks with the stench of crusted blood that lingers from the cull of her knightly comrades". Love myself a good "can't wash away the blood" trope.

Anyways, I took those two facts together to mean that she killed the other Needle Knights and talked about it in that alleged prior conversation I mentioned, but someone else replied that her "knightly comrades" could very well mean Hornsent and Ansbach, whom she attempts to cull before you reach Enir-Ilim. And I wanted to disagree with that, but I didn't actually have any evidence except "it's funnier this way" so you know, fair's fair. Except ! No it isn't !

When you help kill Hornsent, she says this :

He never placed his full trust in me, even under the effect of Kindly Miquella's spell. He must've recognised something. The scent of the killer that slept within me. The stench of crusted blood.

Mind you, this is before killing Ansbach, and right after killing Hornsent. The crusted blood from the cull of her comrades cannot be theirs, meaning Leda did kill the other NKs.

Fact number 3 : She deadass just smells like blood the whole time we see her

As just stated, we have 2 items describing how Leda just smells like dried blood. This has endless comedic potential imo, hear me out :

You first meet this dignified, knightly woman in Mohgs arena. You don't notice anything wrong with her smell, because of course it smells like blood in here, have you seen the place ?

The next time you meet her is in Scadu Altus. You begin to think something does smell really bad here. It's still not her however, because the Hornsent and his canonically shitstained loincloth are standing like 10 meters away from you, likely overpowering the scent.

You only get to realize its her constantly smelling like blood after the charm is broken and Hornsent leaves, and that coincides perfectly with the reveal that she's just paranoid as fuck.

10/10 olfactive storytelling. I mostly just put this fact here in honor of that Bloodborne bosses ranked by smell post tbh, that shit lives rent-free in my brain.

Character analysis time ! This bit is more given to interpretation so feel free to disagree on this :

Shes really not that bloodthirsty you guys

Alright, so this one might be a bit surprising given we just went over the fact she smells like blood, but the popular interpretation of Leda doing this because she likes killing and shit is just dead wrong to me. I spoke about it before, but there are so many lines of dialogue that suggest otherwise. Hell, even the sword description says she tried her damnedest to get the blood to come off. Here are some of the most telling lines i found (from fextralife/the github with all the text from SotE) :

-Her describing herself as a "killer" in that line about hornsent and crusted blood earlier, she seems to be very blunt and honest about what she does, almost to a self-deprecating point.

-I know I shouldn't let myself... But I suppose it's only natural to feel the weight of one's deeds at times like these. There is plenty left to be done. And I will see to it. <- what else do i even add here

-I don't enjoy casting suspicion on anyone I've called a comrade. But it's a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. We must eradicate all doubt...

-None can deny Sir Ansbach was truly a great man. We can be proud, that we were the last opponents he ever faced.

-Sir Ansbach must have considered it an honourable end, being felled by your hand. After all, the good fellow held you in the highest regard. When we speak of it, we may speak with pride—that we were Sir Ansbach's final adversaries

Those lines seem to be alternate versions of the dialogue you get after helping her kill Ansbach. And oh my fucking goodness gracious, i fucking love the second one. Like ghhhhhh, the grief for a comrade and the guilt and the self-justification and the need to move forward and theres somehow even more blood on her sword that she can't ever wash off but she can't stop here, she has to keep doing this because its not about her for her, its not about her feelings or her guilt its all just for the greater purpose shes reaching towards arghhh its so good.

There's also a notable throughline of her shutting her emotions down more and more as she goes, whether its to better do her job or to follow in miquella's footsteps :

-Unruly emotions only lead to misfortune. All the more reason we need someone like Miquella the Kind.

-Man is a compassionate animal, for better or worse.

-So be it. If you insist upon facing Miquella the Kind, Then I will run you through, whoever you might be.

-A single betrayal, enough to turn the tides… Unfortunate, but I will leave you be, for now. 

-I expected things to end differently with you. What a pity

-I suppose it was Sir Ansbach who won you over. Fine. One more heart for my blade to skewer.

Side Note : Those three last ones also read like shes really salty about being betrayed, and that's really juicy because it feels like she trusted you. She trusted you a lot more than most of the others, so it really stings quite a bit to learn you were lying the entire time.

All in all, it really does feel like she has to shut herself down to be a better knight, a more efficient tool for Miquella to wield. It's also quite tragic because she seems to be a compassionate person at heart, she welcomes you into the club, she constantly tries to understand the reasonings for other people's actions, and she tries to find ways to let those she suspects off the hook :

-The hornsent, hmm. On one hand, he trusts Miquella the Kind to bring salvation to his people. With the enchantment lifted, his vengeful passions may once again ignite, but surely he'd be mindful of Kindly Miquella's promise... <- this reads like her trying to convince herself she doesn't have to kill him

It's also very interesting because despite that, she really doesn't seem to be much of a people person :

-But for this very reason, Thiollier is incapable of betrayal. St. Trina's love for Kind Miquella is boundless. She is, after all, his other half. Or perhaps her feelings go beyond even that. Even if she was left behind, I doubt her heart would waver. <- she's just deadass wrong about Thiollier and St Trina

-If you don't meet her before the charm breaks, she does a really awkward introduction and then immediately starts infodumping about her crippling paranoia and zealotry

-Ansbach straight up just tells you : So, you've taken Lady Leda's side. I'm glad she stands with an ally. She tends to overestimate the burden she might carry alone. This is straight up just "oh nice, you finally made a friend, im so glad for you". This implies that Ansbach didn't believe Leda really had anyone on her side before then, and she kinda doesn't tbh. No one is really here because of Leda in the final battle, Dane is here for Miquella, Freyja is here for Radahn, Moore is here to cope with existence, and Hornsent just has an (understandable) hate boner for everything Golden Order. She doesn't really have any friends.

(Also shoutout to Ansbach for being concerned about the people trying to kill him, he really is the goat fr. Also: I've utterly failed you both... No wait grandpa its not your fault im so sorry)

--the funniest moment in the DLC imo : I've come to a realisation... There's ample evidence... Without Kindly Miquella's influence... I'm quite mistrustful of others...

Ah yes of course, the trust issues. Where do I even start.

This woman has nothing but contempt for mankind as a species. She is, as stated earlier, compassionate and tries to be nice to people but she constantly assumes the worst of everyone as a reflex. Her trying to find a way not to kill Hornsent is only because she wholeheartedly believe he will be the worst version of himself as a baseline, and thus thinks of him as a threat who must be dealt with.

-I'm afraid Sir Ansbach will have to be next. He claims he hasn't the spirit to take up his sword again, But in his day, he was the feared commander of the Pureblood Knights, who cleaved open Miquella the Kind with his blood blade. But I doubt it'll be very long... Before he recalls, as I have, the cascading sheets of blood. <- no trust at all

-her dialogue about you "turning on her" also feel like she's resigned about it, like someone who came in expecting failure and was still disappointed, like why did i even try, i should really know better.

-That aside, man is by nature a creature of conquest. They were never saints. They just happened to be on the losing side of a war. <- the classic. What else needs to be said. These are the words of someone who takes war, violence and hatred as a given.

And that leads me to my next point. I think Leda has had a very violent life overall. Some of the shit she says sounds too specific to just be a generalisation:

-But vengeance changes a man.

-Unruly emotions only lead to misfortune.

-Before he recalls, as I have, the cascading sheets of blood.

-One more heart for my blade to skewer.  

-The scent of the killer that slept within me.

This all sounds like she's talking from experience, and there's also her skills as a knight : she has the highest hp pools of the gank squad and can 2-3 shot most players. I know gameplay =/=lore but Freyja respects the hell out of her: Lady Leda and honourable Ansbach are of a special breed.

It's a very interesting combination of an extremely skilled knight who is very good at killing, has presumably been living a very violent existence and who trusts no one but herself, but who also hates having to kill and feels really guilty about it, despite having to do it for the sake of her cause.

And I believe that is the crux of her purpose, and why she is going through so much to fulfill it at any cost:

Leda believes intelligent beings are inherently flawed , and can never be trusted to do anything but make each other suffer. Leda is tired of inflicting and receiving violence, and sees little purpose in seeing the good in others. Leda would have probably made a terrific Lord of Frenzied Flame with how little hope she has.

But instead, she found Miquella. Miquella, who dreams of an age of compassion and who is in a position to achieve it, Miquella, who was raised in an order built and maintained through violence and grew to abhor it. Miquella, who Leda probably sees herself in, who Leda trusts blindly and unconditionally, for whom Leda is ready to commit any atrocity, no matter how it makes her feel, because he is her lifeline. He is her very last hope, the only solution short of complete annihilation she can see for mankind to reach pace.

So what if that peace is forced, is all of this suffering truly worth what little free will we can exert onto our world ? Leda has seen what mankind does with its free will, and she is tired of it.

She doesn't care if she lives to see it, she doesn't care if she has to kill every last part of herself in order for the world to see peace. No one will miss her anyway, she's nothing but a blood-soaked murderer. It doesn't matter if she likes these people, friendship and trust aren't worth all this senseless violence.

So she'll keep killing and killing and culling, until her blade is dull with crusted blood and every last obstacle to Miquella's age of compassion is gone. That's what a Needle knight does, is it not ? Kindly Miquella fashioned us as his needles to quell all, to ward away all.

And if Miquella doesn't understand her, it doesn't matter. He's far too good to understand the sacrifices necessary. She'll do what he can't. The other needle knights did not understand this, they were too naive to do what has to be done, so they were a liability. Don't think about their betrayed looks of terror, don't think about the cloying stench of blood sticking to your footsteps, this is your burden, this is what you deserve. You already knew you couldn't trust anyone, why would this be different ?

If Miquella must cast away parts of his very being to have this world then so can you. So sever that part of yourself that says you should be nice, that you should trust those willing to help, it only makes things worse. It will all be worth it in the end.

Phew, i kind of went apeshit while writing that last part. I hadn't really planned all that honestly.

To conclude this essay, I'd like to point out a really fun parallel to draw here. In this analysis, I have described my interpretation of Leda as a very skilled self-loathing blood-soaked knight who is tired of their endless crusade and yet is endlessly pushed forward by their utter devotion to their god, their salvation made flesh, whom they will shield for the atrocities committed in their name by being the sole person to blame. If that doesnt remind you of Messmer, then i think ill just curl up into a ball and yell very loudly.

Thanks for reading till the end of this absolutely nightmarishly long ramble, let me know if you liked it ! And don't hesitate to send any Leda fics you find or write along the way !

[polyamorousmood]

I have a new bf, we've got together 6 months ago, but considering I have a relationship of 15+ years with someone else, it feels new still to me. He is not the first addition to the polycule, as I also have a girlfriend for 3+ years. The long-term partner and the girlfriend are both nesting partners, and considering the new boyfriend lives on the other side of the country by himself, I have been going there practically every other weekend for "alone time".

I have two challenges, though:

* the boyfriend is new to polyamory and struggles with not being my only partner, but tries his hardest for my sake

* the girlfriend seems to have some serious issues with jealousy and fear of being abandoned

The long-term partner has been the real MVP through this all. They have mediated between me and my girlfriend and shown their utmost support when I wanted to go away.

Meanwhile, I have been trying my hardest to make the change of my allocated time easier on my girlfriend by giving her some extra quality time in the form of dates and gaming sessions and movie nights. It never seems to be enough though.

She has been acting out every time I go away, spiralling in self-deprecating pits of despair or being overall catty and mean towards me. This has led to the new boyfriend feeling like she hates him personally and him not wanting to visit me because she's there. Moreover, it doesn't exactly sell him on the whole idea of polyamory. The long-term partner is also getting exhausted by this: they can recall having struggled when we first opened the relationship, but, as they themselves say, "they weren't this bad."

I am a little lost. Have you got any ideas on what I can do to improve this situation?

Cheers, 🧜🏻

Heya,🧜! So first I'd like to summarize what's happening. You had two partners, and things were pretty good. But the addition of a third who requires special consideration has destabilized the relationship with one of them. Its an over-simplification, but in its simplest form, this is the problem.

Second thing is should also glance over this post from my jealousy tag. Not 100% will apply to you, but there's a lot of overlap. And yes, it does link to 6 other things. They are also likely helpful.

Third thing is all these names for partners does NOT jive with my brain. So for the purposes of answering this ask, I'm going to call Long-Term Partner "Lit" (LT from long term, with a vowel to aid in pronunciation), and newest partner I'm calling Newsboy, because that's the funniest nickname based on the information I have available to me, lol. Out of fairness, girlfriend will be called Gif (GF, with a vowel added for pronunciation [except not really because of the Gif vs Jif debate]).

There are a LOT of things here. So many that even I, with my extraordinarily long answers, cannot get into all of them. Therefore, I hereby present The Bulleted🚅 List of Things to Keep in the Back of Your Mind🧠:

Regardless of how well you can address Gif, polyamory may still "not be for" Newsboy.

Even if someone can do poly, doesn't mean they can enter any polycule. It is no one's fault if a given relationship isn't a good fit. No one here is a bad guy.

Just because no one's a bad guy, doesn't mean everything is reconcilable.

Judgement is rarely helpful.

Nothing I say is gospel. It is my perspective. Consider whether it makes sense for you and how yourself.

Got it all safely shelved and accurately labelled in the mind back? Good. Okay. Now onto the shit to actively think about. Some of that shit may seem to be opposed to some of those points. I'm going to ask you, as the reader, to find the balance/middle ground/duality of man where applicable.

Lit 🕯️

You are, I'm assuming, least worried about Lit. That's good, blah blah blah. Just make sure you're not taking them for granted. You seem like you're in good communication and shit, so I won't spend too much time here, but their feelings of getting kinda burnt out on this is important too. Consider offering them a deliberate respite of some kind from this drama. (ex: 48 of not mentioning it; relief from mediator duties; etc). In any case, continue to check in with them.

Newsboy📰👦

6 months is long enough he's got an idea of what's up with the poly shit with regards to what he's chill with and what's really difficult. If you aren't already, I'd probably start talking the realities of what a relationship long-term would look like. This helps him both set his expectations appropriately and negotiate any major points. I would include shit from the next section, like what you expect Gif to be doing and what you guys are trying to work on that. You don't have to include every gory detail, of course, but he should know its a WIP.

Gif 📷

Gif clearly has work to do if she's going to stay part of an expanding polycule. Your role in supporting her doing that work will include but is not limited to: offering additional reassurances where you can (sounds like you're doing this) and having tough conversations.

And what a can of worms that is. Therefore, I hereby present, in no particular order, The Bulleted🚅 List of Bullet-Biting Discussions💬🗨️ You're Gonna Have to Have:

What can reasonably be achieved at this stage in your relationship. What changes might need to be made to your relationship, expectations you both hold in the relationship, or how might the ideal vision differ from the constraints of reality?

What behaviors of hers are out of line. With actionable steps on how she can do better. There's only so much she can do about her knee-jerk feelings, but she is in control of her actions and might need to put more work into curbing the cattiness or dealing with her emotions more independently, for example.

What behaviors of yours you can improve for her. With actionable steps on how you can do better. You did say you were trying to work with her, but maybe you're going about it in a way that doesn't really help, or you're missing some key component. Maybe what you're terming "cattiness" is Gif trying to drop hints and she's annoyed you don't seem to care, for instance.

These will probably be recurrent in your life for a bit. But as always, how you have the conversation matters. In addition to my usual advice, I want to emphasize here that it will, based on my understanding, likely be a tough thing to navigate. It sounds like everyone needs Gif to do a better job managing things, and I don't think its helpful to seriously undersell that. But at the same time, you can't be coming at her like she's the snake in your otherwise perfect polyamorous garden. I hope you find a way to approach the conversation that finds the balance between support and accountability. What I have found helpful in this, personally, is to make it clear that while, yes, its tiresome for you, you also really want it to feel good to her. Offer suggestions as things that might help her first and foremost. But, y'know, if this were an easy conversation to have you wouldn't be asking my advice, so...

You 🫵

While you're working on this, accept right the fuck now its going to suck a lot of the time. Progress is necessarily difficult. Make your peace with the fact that Gif is going to be pissy every other weekend when you leave, and you'll have to deal with it. Make your peace with the fact you're going to have to revisit these problems. Make your peace with the mess. Progress can be made, but first it has to be difficult, so roll up your sleeves and do the work. Pay attention. Praise your partners when they handle something well (or even just slightly better than usual).

Remember always: We love this life. We do it for love. 💙💖🖤