#meanwhile shred is just oblivious

[cerealbishh]

"Is this about the hot vet?"

"Yeah, of course it's about the hot vet! I've been laying the groundwork for years! You know how many vaccination clinics I volunteered for? A lot of vaccination clinics. I've eradicated entire diseases in pursuit of that woman."

[v3nusxsky]

Hi! It's me again, I would properly ask for request on "Jealous Daddy! Lesso x R? Like Lady lesso find out who the reader seeing and got angry about it? Mention of caning and comfort s*x in the end?

Suffocating in unspoken words 18+

*authors note~ woahhhh smut finally? Hell yeah. Also I make no apologies for needing a jealous Leo to throw me around😳 also Leo is a bit of a dick here, NEVER treat any of your partners like this, aftercare is extremely important guys.*

Trigger warnings~ daddy kink, jealousy dom Leo sub r angry sex rough strap on oral strap refused to as the real deal, choking, hair pulling face slapping doggy spanking degrading slight praise, no aftercare (Leonora is a very toxic )

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

Tag list

There is no denying you are gorgeous, both women could agree on that, but that fact only aided the war between them. Larissa being the observer that she is could tell how wound up your boss was at her presence. In fact she got a thrill from the fact. Often, when you were in her lap she would search for the dark haired woman’s eyes in the crowds before moving her hands over the exposed skin of your back. Trailing all over you, causing little goosebumps to appear as you’d grind your hips into her, head falling onto her shoulder as breathless moans fell from your lips. Something the blonde principal enjoyed immensely. Something Lesso couldn’t stand to see.

One particularly busy night, Larissa Weems had to fight for your attention, something she didn’t enjoy. But what made things worse was that anytime Leonora saw you, you were perched on the principals lap. Jealousy brewing within the dark haired woman every time she caught the scene. Her feelings being painfully obvious but trauma can do some funny things to people, which is why she channeled them through anger. Meanwhile, Larissa was doing her best to turn you into a needy mess on her lap, anything to make you more agreeable to her little proposal. A long time coming now for her, she wanted to ask you to be hers. The original plan was to ask you for a drink, to see if you were truly interested or just amazing at luring in clients. Despite being middle aged, the principal could safely state that she hadn’t wanted anyone in the ways she wants you. It’s more than just one night of pleasurable heights. It’s more than a friends with benefits situation. It’s more than sex. Something about you made her want to know all the small things like your middle name, your favourite colour, your hopes and dreams and every single piece of knowledge she could devour.

Ironically, both the women who want you seem to be oblivious to each others intent, you being clueless to each of their intentions, yet you wanted them both. Despite how harsh Leonora was with you, it wouldn’t be fair to say that you didn’t enjoy that. In fact, you just so happened to find that side of the woman attractive, of course you longed for the sweet moments too, deep down you think she likes you too. Maybe. Yet with Larissa, you are practically bathed in praise and compliments, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t make you crave the woman or the darker side of the principal. Each of the ladies providing a perfect mix of the harsh yet lovely treatment. One problem is that they seemed to despise the other, providing you with the assessment that you’d have to choose. But would you be happy with just one of them?

“Doll?” Larissa practically purred as you gathered your clothing you’d shredded earlier, “would you like to come to dinner? With me?” You could tell the blonde principal was nervous by the way her last words quietened and her eyes darted up and down your frame, anywhere but your beautiful eyes. “Oh, Miss Weems, are you sure? I mean what if you don’t like me outside of the palace of all things sinner?” You mumbled slightly attempting to hide your blush by turning away to the left slightly. “Oh sweet girl, I desire nothing more than to get to know you for more than just your gorgeous body darling. You’re stunning but I’m sure your heart is one of a kind. Even if all you offer is companionship, I’d still choose you out of all the women here. So would give me that chance darling? To take things to whatever level you’re comfortable with as long as you’re by my side pretty girl.”

With a shy yes you arranged to meet the woman at Nevermore, from there she’d pull out all of the stops to ensure your happiness. It is evident you were nervous and with everything she said, she meant. If only having you as a companion was all she was allowed then she’d still die a happy woman. With a sweet press of her ruby red lips to your cheek she bid you a good night. Little did you know, your boss having now worked out just what her feelings may indicate actually heard the conversation. You wanted her. That was clear as day. The blonde woman seemingly snatching you away from right under her nose, temper flaring at the thought of being too late. You had to be hers, the raven haired woman decided she’d stop at nothing to get you in the palm of her hand. Even as busied yourself with the end of shift tasks, a simile graced your lips at the thought of your upcoming time with the tall blonde. You didn’t even consider that Lesso would be silently seething about it. Of course, if there’s one thing your boss is known for is her jealousy.

“You” she growled as you began to carefully free your hair from the millions of grips pinning it to your scalp. “Lesso?” You mumbled in confusion as you turned to face the dark haired woman. “What can I do for you?” You mumbled, your gaze anywhere but her eyes after catching the anger swirling in them. You hadn’t broken any of the house rules, all the clients were happy. So you couldn’t be the cause for her apparent distress. “You’re mine” she all but growled at you, stalking forward as if you were mere prey to a lion. With an eye roll and clear annoyance written over your features you fought back, “whatever! I don’t belong to anyone. Especially not you.”

“Stupid Dolly, you’ve always been mine. Nothing but a slut, holes that are only good to be used and then discarded as if you are just a toy. Mine. Not that blonde bitch you seem to enjoy whoring your bratty self out to” she seethed, her cane slamming into the ground as if she were a toddler having a tantrum. “You don’t even know me Leonora” you hissed, realistically who was she to get mad because Larissa flirts and wants to continue? It’s not your fault your boss was all hot and flirting one minute too cold and damn right rude the next. “I know everything about you pretty whore, more than you know. Now get your sweet ass up and over my lap. Daddy clearly needs to train her bitch better”. She couldn’t be serious? But the anger still swirling at your ignorance told you she was, perhaps that’s why you shuffled to the sofa and did as asked. To see how far she’d take it.

“I’ll calve my name into your precious skin if I have to, you will accept that you are mine” she promised as you settled yourself ass up over her lap. “You. You. You. You’re always driving me fucking crazy” she growled teasing your soft globes of skin with the cool metal cane. “You aren’t seeing her again dolly. Now count” she stated before continually bringing her cane down against your soft skin. Every cry of pain only adding to the arousal she felt. “You made daddy do this sweetheart. You know daddy wouldn’t want to hurt such a precious dove like you. You know I love you and only want the best for you. I’m am the best for you dolly. Not her. Tell daddy you understand it’s more than sex. That your mine” her request seeming instant as you gasped through the pain of the ten strikes she just laid on your ass.

Being impossibly turned on, you did as she requested even though you weren’t quite sure she was correct. Perhaps that’s why she grabbed a fist full of your hair and yanked you up to a standing position. Dark eye makeup smeared across your face from all the tears distracting Lesso from her own carnal needs. “Pretty tears for a pretty slut” she murmured before focusing on the task at hand, freeing her not so little friend. And at the sight you were practically drooling like a bitch In heat much to her amusement. “Gonna fuck you so hard you’ll be ruined for good. All mine. Fucking slutty pussy is soaking baby” she mumbled as her lips nipped sucked and licked your exposed skin, ripping any garments that remained a barrier between you both.

You were sure you would be covered in markings in the morning, but you couldn’t really seem to care right now. It all felt so good until you made the mistake of trying to get what you wanted from the older woman. Slender fingers wrapped themselves around your delicate neck, pressing ever so slightly too much to make her point clear. You’d only be getting what she offered, no more, no less. After all Leonora doesn’t do feelings, she does one night and gone. Never in her life has she needed anyone the way she needs you, In her own way an admission that she loves and needs you but can’t vocalise that. So instead she treats you as if you’re nothing but a common whore, hoping to get you out of her system.

“Get on your knees whore” she gravely whispered in your ear, pushing your body towards the sofa, on your hands and knees, when you weren’t moving fast enough for her taste. “Filthy slut” she muttered watching as your juices drip down your thighs. “Pretty cunt” was all she offered, teasing your soaking core with the huge head of her cock. With faux sympathy she continued with “shame I’m going to have to ruin it” before pushing into your tight little hole. “L-eo please I can’t” you whimpered with more tears streaming down your cheeks, only to have your head yanked up by her hand in your hair, “it’s daddy you dumb slut! God can’t do anything right can you?”

“Fuckin take it” she gritted out as she found the perfect angle and rhythm to drill your poor pussy with. The position leaving you powerless as she forced your head into the sofa and used your body for leverage. All the tension from the past weeks melting away as she made you hers. It appears one hit of you wouldn’t be enough to state her but that’s a problem for another time. Instead she focused and railing you until she got bored. “Messy fucking slut” she grumbled as she pulled her faux cock from your used body that lay in a shaking pile of bones and skin.

Hate sex. She had to remember this isn’t love. She can’t love. Especially not you. No. Lesso knew she didn’t deserve someone so pure, and after the way she’d just used your body she hoped you’d hate her just as much as she hates herself right now. But you will always be hers. No one can have you now. After all, she doesn’t share what is hers. Ever. Tucking the now cum covered silicon dick back into her pants she gets up and makes herself presentable. “Cover up slut or are you giving everyone a show? You. Are. Mine.” She growled as she left the changing rooms. There you finally let the tears fall, you’d only ever be a quickie for her, a thing. A set of holes. Why can’t she just see you as you? And more importantly why do you still want her to want you? Like you. Love you. It should be an easy choice for you, choose Larissa. Yet, your heart is always torn between them, shattered but still there.

Sharing a bond with Lesso when your first met wasn’t helping the situation now, and really you didn’t know what to do. Everything was consensual but your feelings were now fried. On auto pilot really you throw a hooded sweatshirt and some joggers on before driving back to Jericho, past your dingy little flat and straight to Nevermore. Would you even be able to get in? To find her? You didn’t know but it’s like your mind knew the roads like the back of your hand.

Leaving Sinful Souls over two hours ago, Larissa wasn’t expecting to see anyone. Knocking at her office door could’ve been anyone from the sheriff to Wednesdays Addams or another staff member. But in all the possibilities, she’d never thought you’d be on her doorstep, shivering, black smudged eye makeup caressing your cheeks, looking two times smaller and holding back sobs. “Oh sweet girl! Come in. What happened darling? What can I do?” The older shifter couldn’t help but immediately try to fix whatever had occurred but that only made you cry more, her arms barely catching you before you hit the ground.

Unsurprisingly, during work you’d acquired a few alcoholic drinks, so sitting here, two glasses of wine later, you were becoming quite the emotional drunk. Rambling on about Lesso and why couldn’t she want you. Love you. And why you couldn’t have both. You wanted Larissa. She knew that. You’d told her many times in the past hour. But you wanted Leonora too. And the way she’d treated you was so incredibly wrong, Larissa just knew she had to fix it for her sweet girl. Lesso would learn her lesson.

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Improvised Chronivac: FRAT-ifier

@dumbmusclehypnojockboy​ Happy Holidays! Hope you enjoy your story!

Sometimes moments from the past last long after they’ve passed. For Fredrick Cleston that certainly was the case. It’s been almost a decade since he’d been laughed out of that blasted college for his outrageous scientific genius. They could not even humor his vast intellect with a degree. No. Instead he was found unsuitable for any place of higher education whether it be to conduct his dangerous experiments OR to push the boundaries of physicality and ethics! But no longer would that sorry spot on the collegiate map be considered a place of intellect. Once his machine was completed no one will know this small town for anything other than the idiocy that it has always held. Once his machine was completed, reality itself would be at his disposal! Sure, there had been other geniuses who found ways to bend reality and bend minds, but none like this!

-

No one at Telegre University realized that today was their last day of higher education. The world-renowned university was prided on its academic achievement, claiming responsibility for countless graduates and their subsequent success. Few could argue that this temple of education produced geniuses as fast as application rates! If you weren’t joining the medical track to become a doctor, you were in engineering to pursue grand designs! Perhaps you were a philosopher with the next greatest life methodology. Or maybe a civic genius ready to bring their ideas to law! No corner of this school lacked genius…. Until the day there was a large explosion a few blocks away from campus.

The nearly invisible pulse that surrounded the square footage of the school went unnoticed by nearly everyone! That is until that strange scientist started walking about. Many on social media called out a creeper making his way through campus!

He started with the bio medical section of school. Many of these young minds were eager to cure the ailments of the day. However, as these students studied in class many looked out the window… as if drawn to this strange man holding an odd metal box with strange screens appearing on it.

“Excuse me sir. You’re entering one of our classrooms. Are you lost? Do we need to call security?” One of the students questioned, crossing his thin arms, as he looked condescendingly at the wild looking man of science.

“Young man I’m right where I need to be. Though perhaps you’re lost? You don’t look like you belong in this stogy classroom. Perhaps you belong on the beach!” Dr. Cleston fiddled with his device, adjusting knobs! Moving levers and inputting a simple phrase. “Himbo Surfer” Soon more phrases came up! “Oblivious” “Air headed” “cocky” “high libido” “extremely breedable” and many more filled the screen as Dr. Cleston laughed madly.

Meanwhile the young man who commented stood wide eyed. His normal modes 5-foot frame had begun to contort and grow. Each pulse from this box seemingly affecting his physiology! It started with his feet. The nice leather shoes he’d worn to class began to strain and break. His normally pale feet were no more as tanned skin surrounding sizeable size 14 feet burst forth from those shoes. Then his legs extended! Higher and higher, while thickening perfectly, shredding his boring beige pants revealing a tight hugging pair of board shorts that surrounded and ever-growing ass and bulge! His torso shredded with a single flex as his pudge stomach reversed into perfectly cut abs! His pectoral muscles now revealed to the world with a just the right amount of chest hair as well! Then his arms extended growing powerful with each inch leading to hands that could grab a surfboard with ease! His moans through this process now deepened as it gained a laidback tone and his face rearranged losing his classes and sallow skin. Now tightened into a beautiful smile and longer wavy hair.

“Haha surfs up bros!” The new surfer said much to everyone’s shock! Though even that was short lived. Did they always have a surfer bro in their class? No that doesn’t seem right… was he always this overt showing off his body?

“My head bros… what was I doing here again?” the surfer asks.

Dr. Cleston smiled. “You were here to have people join your new frat I believe. For surfers and beach hunks.” The man’s words stroked a chord within the empty headed vessel he let out a dumb giggle and nodded.

“Fuck yeah bros. You gotta join my frat! We just chill and hit the waves everyday. Then we flex and show off to all the bros and babes watching for a good time!” He says luring more and more people forward. His voice naturally drew the med students in as one by one the doctor changed them in new ways! Some growing taller, shorter, stronger, tanner. Races and ethnicities were altered permanently as well as age when certain professors left their offices to see what was wrong. Before long the entire area was no longer a large building, but a run-down frat house filled with too many members! Each command entering the chronivac not changing just one! But like a wave it changed larger and larger groups till the enter med student population of the school were nothing but free loving surfers!

The mad doctor Cleston did not stop there. He moved on to the engineering quadrant of the school. There was currently a competition ongoing of who would make the sturdiest mechanical marvel. Some created miniature vehicles, others small clock towers, and even more created actual robots. Though none of that would before long. Like a piper guiding lesser beings to their true calling, Cleston’s device radiated a compulsion for the engineers to approach.  

“You all are so crafty and studious! Though perhaps we should have you allocate that ingenuity elsewhere! Perhaps work with less iron and more… gridiron!” Dr. Cleston typed furiously on his device turning to the smallest runtiest engineer! “You my friend will be the captain the one to lead this team and ensure you are the strongest dumbest unit this school has ever seen!” Phrases appeared like butterflies over this young man’s head. “Captain.” “Ruthless” “Powerful!” “Dominant!” “Tank!” “POWER!” and soon they rang true.

Before this mousy haired youth stumbled back his large legs stomped the ground beneath him. What once was a normal tennis shoe turned into a huge cleat with and even huge leg attached to it as this engineer grew into the largest football player anyone had seen. A jersey replace his normal shirt while a helmet replaced his hat. His nerdy moans grew deeper as he started shouting out for his men to line up. With each step he marched… grassy Astro turf emerged beneath him. Not only was he compelled to make his own team, he was compelled to bring a new field to this college!

“That’s right captain. Spread you influence. In fact why don’t you start brining me the me for your team. Those lucky enough to be picked by you will be your brothers on the field. Any left over… well I guess we could use some  handsome cheerleaders to motivate you on and off the field!”

One by one this massive American football player grabbed a new stunned engineer and threw him at the feet of Cleston who grew him into another athlete before their eyes. Some join their captain in gathering men. Some simply served the doctor fetching him water and doing his bidding. By the time he was done he was in an entire quadrant of a school that looked like a football field! Young men in full uniform were running exercises and making dumb jokes, while scantily clad cheerleaders danced for them.

The final stop for the doctor was the humanities segment of the school. At this point he had an entourage of surfers and football players. They crowd around the doctor happily serving as guides and guards till the last bastion of this school stands before them.

“Come out all your philosophers and lawyers! I believe it’s time you begin anew in a different court!” This time Cleston did not even wait for the student to come out! He let his device run wild as pulses of electricity now crackled from the machine. Campus architecture began to warp and reshape. Buildings became gymnasiums! Leisurely quad portions became outdoor basketball courts! Even the nearby cafeteria became a variety of concession stands. And the young men that emerged from the area fled, transforming before his very eyes!

One red haired student ran outside, skin as pale as if he’d never seen the sun. But that changed as the professor aimed his device at him amplifying his changes. “Big black basketballer” “Proud” “Self assured” “Giant!” “Godly!” “Champions!” The look of confusion on this face began to shift. His mouth found itself shaping into a confident smirk, as his body grew higher and higher. He felt knowledge leaving his brain as his body inflated with size and power! His entire burst out of his clothes revealing his darkening skin and powerful arms and legs. Large feet to support such a frame with a sizeable package that would draw attention from anyone who could see it! He even drank his water bottle in a way that almost invited a challenge!

He wasn’t the only one. Countless classmates and the professors teaching them were all changing with these command till a roaring game was going on inside the gymnasium and around the out door courts. Anyone not playing was on the bench cheering on their teammates to glory! Basketball would be pretty big at this university now. As would its players. All of them growing to be bigger and more intimidating than the next!

At this point Cleston was satisfied and walked slowly to the center of the school, the Dean’s office. His travel companions of surfers, football players, and basketball athletes following him like mindless drones… or a small army.

The bookish Dean exited the doors to his office shaking. “Kleston!  This is absolute chaos you’ve brought to this school. Using such an unstable device could tear a fabric within reality itself if you continue this madness! Shut it off and maybe we can repair the damage before you unleash unspeakable harm to the world!”

“You beg for mercy as I’m about to achieve my ultimate goal! Never! That is why you are the final to change at this school! I’m going to make you the most absent minded sports driven fool of them all!” Kleston blasted his machine right at the Dean who screamed out in surprise as surges of all sorts of changes began to strike him. However this wasn’t just any change! Just like the others it spread… but with no one else around the bolts of changing electricity began to creep up Kleston’s weedy arms… his own device consuming itself and its user as these changes progressed! “No… no! This is not my design. Change him you damn machine! Not me!” He screamed louder and louder! Until a large explosion at the center of campus unleashed every imaginable change!

-

One month later. No one outside of Master Chronivac users remember the illustrious Telegre University. Though ask any sports loving party guy and he’ll tell you he’d love to go to Titan University. Home to the biggest bros, the dumbest academics, and the most intense sports programs. Professionals could never predict how a school with such dumb strategies won their games, let alone certain championships! Many attributed it to the titanic student body this university attracted. Regardless, it serves as a lesson to all people meddling in technology out of their control. Specifically the iconic Twins of Titan U. 

They are some of the most handsomest men around social media these days… shame they’re too dumb to play any sports. Obviously this was the former Dean of the university and the made scientist Kleston… However, even the most creative Chronivac users could tell them apart. They’ve both been so substantially changed both physically and intellectually that they could not be distinguished.

So, remember not to lose yourself proving people wrong. You may end up just like them in the end.

[dsknsk]

Doppel descriptions...for Corrosions.

Doppel of judgment. Its form is a heavenly executor’s scribe. The master of this emotion doesn’t seem to mind it, but remains slightly annoyed with its intentions. A doppel that is always seeking something to judge, part of its body consists of eyes that can move in any direction and see everything. As soon as it sees something that has received a guilty verdict, it locks on to its target, swiftly enacting ‘justice’...but in practice, it will try to execute just about anything, using its hypnotizing eyes to entrance the victim before killing it. The master knows that hiding from it is pointless, but becomes entirely engrossed by it in such a way that her face is formed into its eye itself.

Doppel of earnest wishes. Its form is a pagoda veneration. The master of this emotion has very sincere desires she tries to show, thus this doppel has familiarized itself with that part of her. However, it has grown frustrated with too many stones placed without a shred of sincerity, so it has started assuming that no one is truly earnest. This means that, instead of placing another stone on the cairn, it will decidedly bash anything it finds with a large rock until it finds no more insincerity in its target. Meanwhile, the master remains oblivious to the fact that if the world is entirely rid of insincerity, it will believe that its master’s wish is already fulfilled.

Doppel of seeking. Its form is a wayward passenger. The master of this emotion fully loses his humanity when it is summoned, and has no control over its actions. As it has lost its way, it tirelessly keeps opening and closing dimensions in the faint hope it will ever find home. If it encounters something at the place it wants to be, anger overtakes it and will violently try to remove them from the spot. The numerous sharp teeth on the inside of its body and its blade-like limb often cause the victim to become unrecognizably mutilated. However, the master cannot see anything of this, so he genuinely believes that it isn’t caused by him.

Doppel of abuse. Its form is a backstreets watchdog. The master of this emotion resonates highly with it and is easily overtaken by it. This doppel is a lump of obedience that is constantly led by the electricity that keeps striking it. It does nothing on its own except sit there until it is stirred to move, at which it becomes absolutely rabid, howling and clawing at anything without regard for its identity. Its master appears powerless to stop it, hanging limply on its body, but his movements show that at least a sliver of him remains aware. That is likely to be what remains of his rationality in this state.

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA BUT HERMES IS A DUMMY

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1 part 2 part 3

next: part 5

m'kay, so, we've talked about Athena & Telemachus' issues. now let's touch on Hermes, because a Diva™ like him deserves his own post. and also because this had been sitting in my notes for so long i've genuinely forgotten about it (i'd say that it's what translating a musical does to you, but honestly my attention span is just shit)

now, as much as I love Soft Boi!Hermes, I even more so love prankster Hermes who doesn't really recognize personal boundaries or the meaning of 'too far'. he's the guy who'll commit to the bit so far, he'll commit mass murder with a Tee-Hee and genuinely wonder what has got everyone so upset.

kid!Telemachus, holding a cup of poison: grandpa, are you sure it's a good idea? I'm scared… Hermes, laughing his ass off in the corner: of course I'm sure, champ! it'll be hilarious! good ol' game of Ithacean Roulette! now dump it into the wine, let's see who we'll get this time!

at the same time, he's not selfish. he's very keen on doing things for the people he likes, and he cares enough to know when someone is distressed. he, as a god, is just so removed from traditional human morality that casual acts of cruelty are perfectly acceptable to him, while, for example, breaking an oath is a horrible sin.

think blue and orange morality stuff.

telemachus, outraged: …murdered his own family, can you imagine? hermes, equally outraged: I know, right? he gave a blood oath and broke it! disgusting! telemachus: why is that your only concern?!

but don't worry, helping to raise Telemachus and hanging around the same people consistently makes a real boy outta him gives him enough time and insight into humanity to start understand mortals better, and, as consequence, adopt some of their values.

especially the concept of spousal loyalty. Hermes is a patron god of thieves, and at the time taking someone's wife was viewed as an act of theft (because women were property, yeeesh). which is why to him Penelope's situation was less of a tragedy and more of a "well, my dumbass great-grandson Odysseus should've seen it coming. snooze you lose! ¯_(ツ)_/¯"

that is, until he gets to know her better. and suddenly she's not a prize to be won or a challenge to conquer. she's a smart, capable person that commands respect from anyone who's got a shred of self-awareness. she's got gentle hands, and a radiant smile, and a spine of steel. Penelope looked Hermes dead in the eyes and told him serenely to keep being a good influence on her son, she does not deserve to be reduced to a token and given away to the highest bidder.

hermes, initially: well, penelope's a rich, gorgeous, basically single queen. I'd steal her too, if she was my type. hermes, 10 years later: she's the smartest, ballsiest human woman I've ever met and if she only wants her Ugly Ass Groom then she'll fucking stay single until he comes back.

unfortunately for everyone else, Hermes cannot step in to protect her, because Zeus and Poseidon are both pissed off at Odysseus already, and if either of them notices Hermes (and/or Athena) interfering with mortals on Ithaca, they might take it as an invitation to follow suit, and then it'll be Troy Story 2: Electric Boogaloo.

so he stays his hand, and hangs around Telemachus discreetly, mostly posing as a human. for a god of liars, he's surprisingly bad at blending in for long periods of time. Hermes thinks he's an awesome conspirator. meanwhile little Telemachus didn't even realise it was a secret.

the only people who don't know that [insert alias] is a god in disguise are the suitors, who are notoriously either too stupid, too overconfident or too busy drinking to connect the dots. the exception is Antinous who pretends to be oblivious and makes sure the gods don't see him as a threat to their beloved little pup (otherwise he'd have killed the prince long ago).

the suitors, however, unanimously agree that they hate this weird annoying stranger, and try to get rid of him in increasingly elaborate ways, from poison to stabbing to wild animals to dropping pots on his head.

spoiler alert: it doesn't work.

hermes, next day: *comes back every morning like nothing had happened, whistling cheerily* suitors: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!

eventually Antinous convinces them to give up so they don't piss off Hermes.

years pass, Telemachus grows. Athena teaches him strategy and arts of war. Aeolus gradually comes out of the hiding and becomes the resident lovable comic relief side character. and Hermes? he teaches the kid all the good stuff.

and it's not just lying, okay? (though it's a significant part of it) music, diplomacy, geography, street smarts, some history. he's a worldly god, had observed and been a part of countless cultures. above all else, he knows people. he may not really understand them, but he knows how to get what he wants from them, how to find common ground and how to spin things to get along with practically anyone.

and girls. Hermes helps Telemachus with girls.

because he's the cool uncle figure that Telemachus admires, the kid trusts him enough to ask the god for advice when he starts growing older and gets his first crush in his early teens.

and, on one hand, Hermes is ecstatic. on the other one…

telemachus, blushing and stuttering: there's a girl I met, she's so pretty, and cool, and, and, and how do I talk to her, do I just come up and say hi, but what if sh- hermes: … hermes: *blue screen of death* hermes: MY BABY-

it's the first time he truly starts to grasp how short the kid's life will be. because in the blink of an eye he turned from a newborn to an adolescent, and soon enough he'll have his own family, and Odysseus was already a king himself at this age, and Hermes is not ready this can't be it he can't just grow old and die

so anyway, he pushes the thought aside and pretends it never came up at all (because that always works, and bottling shit up never blows up in anyone's face, right, Athena?)

he gives lots of advice, from useless macho stuff to golden nuggets like "be yourself" and "show her respect". and, of course, he cheers from the sidelines, hiding 'inconspicuously'.

and it goes surprisingly well. the girl appears to find Telemachus' awkward attempts at flirting sweet and charming, and the boy is on the cloud nine.

but Hermes isn't. because, unlike the prince, his judgment isn't clouded by a puppy crush and he can see that the girl is actually a lying bitch, who's playing Telemachus like a fiddle, hoping to become the next queen of Ithaca. and he won't stand for it.

except Telemachus, for some reason, doesn't seen thrilled when Hermes tells him to dump the girl?? he flat out refuses to believe that, because love is blind and so are sheltered insecure teenage boys.

so Hermes, in his infinite wisdom, decides to prove to his naive little charge once and for all that the girl is just using him and doesn't actually love him. now, what's the first example of true selfless love from a woman that comes to mind to the god who had spent the last few years hanging out with the royal family of Ithaca? right, Penelope. and the one thing that characterises Penelope is her unconditional loyalty, even into the face of countless threats and temptations.

hermes, to himself: so, if I show the kid that the bitch will leave him as soon as she finds a better prospect, he will definitely admit I was right all along! and dump her! it's a perfect, easy, foolproof plan! I am so smart! what could possibly go wrong!

another spoiler alert: everything goes wrong.

the girl does happily jump into his arms as soon as he hints that he's a god/demi-god/just a cooler prince or something. she does it right in front of Telemachus, in fact, so there's no way he'd be able to deny the obvious.

on the bright side, Hermes immediately outs her as a lying bitch and publicly shames her, embarrassing her family and ruining her prospects of marriage and causing her to suffer for the rest of her life ('disproportionate revenge'? what's that?).

on the down side, for some unfathomable reason, Telemachus doesn't seem very grateful??? what???????

hermes: and so, AS ALWAYS, I was right. telemachus: hermes: but please, hold your applause! telemachus: hermes: I did it all for you, out of the goodness of my heart! telemachus: hermes: and please, don't apologize! you were wrong, I get it! no need to- telemachus: *bitch slaps his smug face and runs away, hurt and betrayed* hermes: *shocked pikachu face*

thing is, Hermes doesn't understand what he did wrong. in his mind he did a rather good deed: showed the liar's true colors, and spared the kid a lot of heartache down the line. he doesn't understand the feelings of betrayal from having someone he trusts explicitly outing him as a naive fool in front of everyone he ever dreamed of earning respect from. doesn't get the pain of having been cast aside by someone he liked in favor of a god, with whom he could never compete. can't imagine living in the shadow of someone he had never even known and being constantly reminded of all the ways he's lacking.

telemachus: I'm not a stupid child, hermes. I could've handled it. hermes: but you didn't listen to me, maybe you'd have never seen it on your own- telemachus: and maybe I would've. maybe I would've had the opportunity to find out myself, and maybe I would've learned from it, but you never gave me that choice, did you?! did you think i'm that dumb?! hermes: oh, come on, kid, you're not dumb- telemachus: THEN WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE I AM?! WHY DON'T YOU EVER TRUST ME?!

aaaaand there's the core issue. Telemachus had spent his whole life being babied at best and looked down upon at worst. constantly compared to Odysseus and his more vicious peers, always shielded from making tough decisions and proving himself. he feels like he will never amount to anything, because no one ever lets him really try. as soon as it looks like he's going to make a mistake, someone (usually Athena, Aeolus or Hermes) swoops in and 'fixes' everything for him, just like they used to do when he was an accident-prone toddler. which he isn't anymore.

and Hermes doesn't understand that. to him, ten years is basically nothing. the kid can't have changed that much in ten years. because if he did, then he'll change a lot in the next ten years, and the next, and very soon he won't change anymore, because ten years are nothing and so are human livespans.

ten years are nothing, because to admit otherwise would force Hermes to face the fact that Telemachus, no matter how precious, is just as mortal as any other human. which amounts to basically losing him already. and Hermes can't.

he held that boy as an infant. he fed him, helped to teach him walk and talk and make silly faces. he can't lose this child to time, the one thing even gods can't really protect humans from.

Penelope finds Hermes sitting on her balcony with the most human expression on his face she'd ever seem him wear. he's lost, and confused, and full of regrets, and kind of terrified. in that aspect, he reminds her painfully of her husband.

hermes, mumble: he's growing older penelope, sighing: I know hermes: he's not a baby anymore penelope: believe me, I know hermes: but... what do I do now??? penelope: you let it happen. not much else you can do.

she talks him through it.

hermes, rambling: but I will lose him. I'll lose him if he grows old and dies. this is why I don't get attached to mortals, you die too soon. he can't die now. penelope: he's not going to die now. he'll become the king first, he will find a good wife and have children and grandchildren. he will become great, greater that I and his father could ever dream of. and he'll be happy. don't you want to see that? hermes: I do, but- I don't want him to grow up! penelope: then you finally know the biggest joy and the deepest pain of parenthood.

it doesn't fix his fear. doesn't fix his pain, either. but it does help fix his attitude.

because she's right. Telemachus is growing old, and he can't shelter and protect the boy forever. soon he'll become a man, then an elder. and there's nothing Hermes can do about it, short of dragging the prince to Olympus and begging Zeus to grant him immortality, which will never work.

Hermes and Telemachus make up, of course. the latter knows, deep down, that the former is just trying to take care of him. they make up and forget the fight - at least, the boy does.

Hermes will always remember.

and he will count every day, every wrinkle, every grey hair.

the joy and pain of parenthood indeed.

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: “Cake the Cat”/“Prismo the Wishmaster” (Fionna & Cake, Eps. 3-4)

I wish I had the strength to stay up until the exact moment these episodes are released, hurriedly consume them in a haze while writing down my thoughts, and post my review before the sun has a chance to come up. But alas, as an old man—i.e., a 31-year old—I am not quite as strong as I used to be. (Remember dear friends: Eram quod es; eris quod sum!)

In other words, please excuse me if my reviews take a day or two to post! I have to watch 'em after I get home from work!

Airdate: September 7, 2023

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Jacob Winkler, Haewon Lee, Nicole Rodriguez

Directed by: Ryann Shannon (supervising), Hans Tseng (art)

Like the title card I have included here, the plot of "Cake the Cat" is relatively straightforward: After finding herself in Ooo (and gaining speaking abilities thanks to a universal translator), Cake explores the world around her. Along the way, she befriends Squirrel (from season five's "Up a Tree") and accidentally destroys an outdoor market. Meanwhile, in her own world, Fionna tries desperately to find her missing pet. But after Simon tries once again to summon GOLB, Fionna suddenly finds herself transported to Ooo, where she reunites with Cake.

"Cake the Cat" might not be the deepest episode from the "Adventure Time Extended Universe" (hmm, maybe the "ATEU"?), but what it lacks in depth, it makes up for with humor. In particular, the episode manages to get considerable mileage out of Cake just acting like a normal (albeit talking) cat: she scratches people, tears things up, snatches food away, and very nearly massacres a small woodland critter, etc. As someone who adores cats and has long put up with their, shall we say, bullshit, these scenes were right on the money. Cake might indeed mean well, but she is still a cat, and cats get into all sorts of hijinks (that's part of the reason why I love them).

"This episode, out of the four that have aired so far, feels the most like "old school" Adventure Time, largely due to the allusions it makes to older episodes: For instance, one subplot in "Cake the Cat" sees the titular character scratch the dickens out of the insane "Tree Gang" from season five's "Up a Tree." (In fact, one could even make a compelling argument that the first half of this episode is basically just a sequel to "Up a Tree"!) Cake's market shenanigans and the ire they raise with the forest folk also echo the events of season two's "Storytelling" (in which Finn makes a gaggle of forest critters' lives hell in a half-baked attempt to find a good story). Like its season two predecessor, "Cake the Cat" heavily relies on the main character's obliviousness, which often leads to some great bits of dark humor (e.g., the shredded pillow man, who, while 'bleeding out' feathers, wheezes, "I… clapped for you!"). But despite these similarities, "Cake the Cat" has enough flourishes to make it its own thing, thereby preventing it from feeling like a tired retread."

One such "flourish" is the heavy focus on Roz Ryan. Most of the past Fionna and Cake episodes have underutilized Cake, treating her as little more than a sassy one-liner machine. "Cake the Cat," on the other hand, not only makes use of Ryan's acting skills, but it also lets her flex her musical prowess by having her sing the song "Cake on The Loose." Ultimately, the decision to not relegate Cake to a secondary role allows for some much-needed character development. Her interactions with Squirrel, for instance, let us know that she's a survivalist who will not tolerate bullies. We also learn that Cake sees Fionna less as a family member and more as a bossy (albeit beloved) roommate. True, these are small glimpses into an established character, but because Cake has long been underdeveloped, they help to flesh out her character, allowing her to come into her own. This is a trend that the following episode will continue…

Airdate: September 7, 2023

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Iggy Craig, Graham Falk, Jim Campbell, Lucyola Langi

Directed by: Steve Wolfhard (supervising), Hans Tseng (art)

Like "Simon Petrikov" before it, "Prismo the Wishmaster" is a darker installment that subverts the levity that preceded it.

And I'm OK with that!

The episode begins with Prismo beaming up Fionna, Cake, and Simon and revealing to them the truth behind the whole "Fionna and Cake" thing: This "fan fiction" is actually a fictional universe of his own creation. Tired of constantly bringing other people's realities to life, Prismo decided to create a universe of his own. There was just a tiny problem: Doing so violated the cosmological rules that Prismo must follow as the god of wishes. He thus decided to hide the "Fionna and Cake" world in the mind of Ice King—out of sight, out of mind (literally). Unfortunately, GOLB's resetting of the crown threw a wrench into these plans, resulting in his "unauthorized crossover" being detected. This violation consequently summoned Scarab, an antagonistic "god auditor" who yearns for Prismo's job as wishmaster. The episode concludes with Prismo zapping Fionna, Cake, and Simon to Farmworld seconds before Scarab can capture them.

Before talking about the meat of the episode, let me briefly talk about the [Psychic Tandem War] Elephant in the [Time] Room: Prismo's voice. In the initial series, as I am sure many of you are aware, Prismo was voiced by Kumail Nanjiani, a talented comedian perhaps best known for his role in the HBO series Silicon Valley. There was something about Nanjiani's voice that really clicked with the Prismo character—his laid back, somewhat monotonous way of speaking just really fits with Prismo's "chill deity" thing.. Alas, Nanjiani does not reprise his role in "Prismo the Wishmaster" (instead, the character is voiced by Sean Rohani). What? you might be asking, Was there some drama? Did the actor have a falling-out with the crew? No. The answer is far, far more infuriating: Nanjiani's reps apparently declined to tell the very actor they were working for that the Adventure Time folks had wanted him back! Nanjiani has often said that Prismo is one of his favorite characters that he has had the opportunity to play, and so I can only imagine how crestfallen and mad he probably was when all of this came to light. Absolutely nothing against Mr. Rohani, but considering that the voice actor he replaced never wanted to be replaced, I hope that the studio can let Nanjiani overdub Prismo's lines for future streams of the episode. (Ya know, to fix the time line and all that jazz.)

Now, back to our review! Just as "Cake the Cat" recalls the vibes of older episodes, "Prismo the Wishmaster" also echoes with the past, feeling in many ways like a spiritual cousin to season six's "Is That You?" (the masterful episode, solely storyboarded by Jesse Moynihan, that skillfully undid Prismo's death in a way that felt neither cheap nor forced). The similarities between "Prismo the Wishmaster" and "Is That You?" are largely due to their setting (both episodes take place almost entirety in Prismo's time cube), and their shared interest in what I guess you could call "character duplication." But just like "Cake the Cat," this episode is fun and familiar, while still managing to be new and exciting.

I particularly enjoyed the episode's deepening of the already complex cosmology of the Oooniverse. Back in 2020, in the first edition of "Exploring the Land of Ooo," I speculated that the world in which Finn and Jake live owes much to the dualistic cosmology of Gnosticism, specifically the religious movement known as Manichaeism. This approach to reality views the world as fundamentally divided in two. On one side, there is the "Father of Greatness" (roughly equivalent to the Judeo-Christian idea of "God," who creates and orders reality), and on the other side, there is the "King of Darkness" (roughly equivalent to "the Devil," who embodies darkness and death). Adventure Time seems to draw inspiration from this conceptual split, with GOLB being the Oooish version of the "King of Darkness," who revels in chaos and destruction, and "Prismo's Boss" being akin to the "Father of Greatness," who is interested in order and structure. Additionally, Scarab and the various gods who govern the universe remind me of the Gnostic concept of archons (entities that rule over the day-to-day affairs of the physical cosmos), but perhaps that's a topic for another day...

Speaking of Scarab, going into Fionna and Cake, I was particularly curious how the show was going to one-up the Lich. His story arc was nicely capped off in "Together Again," and so I appreciate the producers' decision to create a new villain for this series. As someone who often deals with inane bureaucracy, I quite like the idea of a "god auditor," and Kayleigh McKee does a great job infusing Scarab with a dignified sort of malevolence. Scarab feels textbook lawful evil to me, but unlike a lot of the other baddies in the Oooniverse who are doin' it up the only way they know how, Scarab does not feel affable in any way. He's a cold, sterile regulator, akin to the T-1000 from Terminator 2: Judgment Day, who is interested in only one thing: eliminating his targets. In a word, he feels like a legitimate threat, and that's exciting!

Another major triumph of "Prismo the Wishmaster" is that it fully justifies why this entire miniseries is happening. One of my biggest worries going into this string of episodes was that, while fun, it would not do a good job of legitimizing its own existence. This was largely due to my own biases. After all, I've always enjoyed Fionna and Cake, but I have never adored their episodes. In my mind, they were fun excursions; nothing more, nothing less. However, "Prismo the Wishmaster" expertly grounds their existence in the Ooo that we know, demonstrating that the Fionna and Cake series is not a dull victory lap, nor is it a masturbatory exercise in excess. Instead, it is a bona fide extension of Adventure Time's mythology. Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat are now just as "real" as Finn and Jake ever were. Instead of being simple parodies, they now have a certain depth to them.

Simply put, they matter.

Final “Cake the Cat” Grade: B+

Final “Prismo the Wishmaster” Grade: A

[tennessoui]

its f***ing freezing where i am so now i am once again obsessed with mail order bride au anakin thinking he will just seduce obi-wan and deciding its too fucking cold to takes his clothes off. will he be kept warm by obi-wan in his ebd though? will he???

ah the mail order bride au! aka the au i thought of while taking my dog out at 2 in the morning, cold down to my bones and wearing absolutely not enough clothing for a surprisingly freezing october night.....so thinking about the mail order bride au while also chilly is just typical for this au!!

i imagine when anakin finally is like 'ok. i have to seduce him. i have to sleep with him. i have to take my clothes off', he decides to strike when obi-wan is in the fresher. his plan is to strip and lay naked on obi-wan's bed until the man comes back.

he probably gets halfway through stripping before his goal shifts to getting naked and getting beneath all the furs and covers and hissing at obi-wan when the man tries to slide in as well because he's letting the cold in!! what is he doing!!! idiot!!!!!!!

i can also just really appreciate anakin's big plan being to seduce obi-wan through taking off hs clothes but he can't but meanwhile obi-wan is just so used to the cold he's hardly wearing any clothes and he's absolutely shredded from ice harvesting/kyber crystal harvesting so actually it's anakin who is the one seduced by clueless/oblivious obi-wan who is just earnestly excited to have someone to share the planet's darkest days and longest nights with

[knightinink]

Do you have any dip hanahaki disease headcannons?

Ooh this could actually go along with my Damien hc's nicely! Lets get this one rolling! 🌹🌷

-Okay so I feel that it would affect Damien more than it would affect Pip, since he would be less likely to confess his feelings & let them bottle up. Going off of another post of mine where I (kinda) talk about how Damien's mean & evil persona is just a front because he's scared & insecure underneath it all, & he's afraid of what could happen if people were to see his more vulnerable & sensitive side. He wants to be soft & tender, but he doesn't know how to express this to Pip, so he just keeps it inside.

-At some point, the demon notices that he has a bit of a hard time breathing, but doesn't think too much of it. That silly disease couldn't be real, right? It was just some stupid folktale! Something made up to scare people!

-A few weeks go by, & it's becoming more & more difficult for the demon to breathe, & he's horrified when, while he's roughly coughing into the bathroom sink, a repeating sharpness feels like its poking into his throat & he quickly falls to his knees, knuckles white as he grips the edge of the toilet bowl, & hacks up whatever he's now choking on.

-He's finally able to cough up whatever felt like it was shredding his throat, & as he blinks tears out of his eyes, he zeros in on the small bundle of about 5 red roses, thorns shining crimson with his blood, & turning the water slightly pink. Eyes widening in horror, he falls back onto his butt, his breathing picking up as he begins to panic, & a taste of nature floods his mouth as he clenches his teeth shut; the roses have left their vines, & they have rooted into his lungs quite nicely, not intent on letting go.

-He would hide this from his father & Pip of course, but he wouldn't be able to for very long.

-Pip meanwhile keeps coughing up pink tulip petals every now & then, but they always eventually cough up all wilted, as Pip is thoroughly convinced that whatever romantic interest he's ever had will not come to be, as he is simply not capable of being loved; everyone in his upbringing had reminded him oh so many times of this. It was true with Estella, & it was true with Herbert (bless him!), that whenever Pip would finally decide to get close, he would end up convincing himself that he wasn't worth their time, that he would be bothering them, & would back out.

-This would continue... except for when it came to Damien.

-There was something within the Brit that just wouldn't let the demon go from his mind, & ever since then the petals would come up flourishing, no longer in their dreary, wilted state. About a week had gone by when the first full flower had shown up, a soft pastel pink, petals open in all their beauty. Pip was horrified.

-More time would go by & the confession would come first from Damien, who is being drowned from the inside by his own blood, as there is a full rose bush growing in & around his chest & chest cavity, the thorns ripping through the tender flesh. Pip would be in shock, completely oblivious to the fact that the feelings he had harbored for the demon laying his head in his lap as he lay dying, had been returned this entire time.

-Damien would just laugh in a fuzzy sense of warmth, as well as the irony of being killed by something of his namesake. He would ask Pip to kiss him, the latter obligingly leaning down to do so, & presses a tearful kiss to the demon's bloodied lips. Their lips are lightly pushed apart as a red rose & a pink tulip come to the surface, brushing against each other tenderly, before they melt into a kiss of their own.

-When Pip breaks from the kiss, he's met with glazed-over eyes that were once as vibrant as the blood that he could still taste on his lips. He brushed a hand delicately over the rose & the tulip. then brushes the hair away from the demon's face so he could see all of him more clearly. Pip choked back a sob.

-Damien was gone.

[dollarbin]

Sandy Saturdays #10:

Blues Run the Game

When I was a kid there were two required initial steps to take if you wanted to one day rock: first, you had to learn how to play Stairway to Heaven. Then it was time to learn Blackbird.

I did neither; rather I borrowed my buddy Eric's spare acoustic and taught myself how to stumble through Knocking on Heaven's Door (G-D-C; G-D-C).

My approach is not recommended: my famous brother and my other, almost-as-famous, brother are both surely shredding on their six strings as we speak, their families gathered about them, rapt with awe, as they sing about the lady who's sure that all that glitters is gold and the poor blackbird's sunken eyes. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here, writing this.

(But I did recently witness a big deal version of Blackbird: the eighth grade at my school sang it with horrific, tuneless assembly requirement while their music teacher showed off his seventh grade level guitar licks, but at their center stood a committed, fearless/oblivious young woman who, I kid you not, busted out a whistled, note-perfect and full, blackbird warble at the song's end; surely that warble on The White Album is a field recording, not Paul whistling, right? But this was no field recording: the kid was on tweeting fire. I read this morning that some 14 year American boy just got a professional soccer contract for millions of dollars in England; Paul McCartney ought to offer the young woman at my school a similar contract, pronto.)

Well, anyway, neither Plant/Page's overblown, but still kinda killer (the drums!), epic or McCartney lovely yet paternalistic race anthem existed in 1965 when Sandy Denny, Nick Drake and Paul Simon were teaching themselves to be, well, Sandy Denny, Nick Drake and Paul Simon.

It's really too bad. Imagine Sandy singing Stairway to Heaven. Someway, somehow, she'd make it not sound cliche. While we're at it, imagine Sandy's perfect phrasing, volume, tempo and sense of self taking over altogether for Plant's shirtless, hollering ego.

(Don't panic, I enjoy a little Zeppelin now and again as much as the next white guy who writes a blog about his record collection, and we'll get to Plant and Denny's famous, dense and soaring, shared track on some upcoming Sandy Sunday).

And Nick Drake's version of Stairway to Heaven would be a joyful romp, no? In his hands we'd worry about the Piper rather than be warned against him.

Paul Simon, meanwhile, would revamp the entire chord structure, have 16 tracks on the demo and make Artie stand around, waiting for his turn to do something, anything, only on the last, trembling and drawn out phrase over cymbals, kettle drums and fifes: "and she's buying a stairway.... to heav......en."

But, since that song was yet to be written (Plant must have been about 7 in 65/66) there was a clear stand-in apprentice track for aspiring mid-60's Brits to work at: Blues Run the Game, Jackson C. Frank's lick heavy paean to room service gin. Simon, Denny and Drake all put their stamp on the song, Denny and Drake through home recordings and Simon through an early studio track.

We'll start with the original on this fine Saturday. Simon was there for the song's birthing; he's the producer here, which mostly seems to mean that he said "roll 'em" then looked away while the terrified Frank laid the song down live.

Frank's biography is ready for the Sophocles treatment; he and Oedipus could compare mournful notes, competing to see who had it worse from the gods.

Frank: "Look, Oedipus, I hear you about your mom and all, but did you survive a childhood fire that killed bunches of your peers? No? And was your precocious initial development followed by failed relationships, failed marriages, a terminally ill newborn son and decades of homelessness? No again? Quit trying to interrupt Oedipus; no one cares about your dad. Finally, were you blinded in one eye by errant, random fire from a teenager wielding a pellet gun? No? Well then, quit moping, and shrug it off dude!"

Poor Frank spent a lot of the seventies charging around Woodstock, NY, in his birthday suit, occasionally complimented by a sword and/or cape, his schizophrenic delusions overcoming him. All kidding aside, you gotta feel for the dude.

His tragic life makes his sad song, and his raw performance of it, all that much sadder. The full success of his leisurely, mournful pace also explains why Simon wisely shelved his own comparatively cheerful effort with Garfunkel:

Drake's performance, in turn, is studious and personal; he is trying to prove to himself that he's worthy to join the ranks of not just the quickly lost American, Frank, but also the full gamut of British performers who had the jump start on him, from the boy band ranks (Donovan, Cat Stevens, The Zombies) to the hersute bohemian ne'er do wells (John Renbourn, Richard Thompson, John Martyn) to the guys already living solidly on the astral plane (Heron/Williamson).

Clearly, the elegant Drake belonged in their club; indeed, once he took a deep breath and stuck out his comely head, he was everyone's better.

I don't know that Denny's take competes with Drake's or the original. But it's still damn good and it solidly serves its purpose: Denny sings this boy song boldly as a woman, and she presents it with her soon to be signature balance of power and grace.

Sandy dated Frank at the same point she privately laid down this track and Frank's other stone cold classic, Milk and Honey (a song that is worthy of its own future post). It seems as though Denny's dating decisions were not equal to her musical chops: she soon took a pass on the soon to be naked all the time Frank and shacked up with the world's tallest, most red-headed, dullard, Trevor Lucas.

Lucas, so far as we know, never donned a cape and charged around naked, so score one for Trevor. But he never wrote Sandy a good song, and Frank gave Denny two of them. What's more, Frank helped convince Sandy, during their time together, to quit nursing school and focus full time on music.

Good shot Jackson.

[dnangelic]

Fyuga, currently out of her usual disguise and spending time with Daisuke in his room, has found interest in a nature documentary that came on. Eyes widen at close-up shots of a bird... the same way a cat's would when they're about to attack something. She even assumes the stance...

@paraleech

「 gentle hunter . his tail plays on the ground , while he crushes the skull . beautiful death , who puts on a spotted robe when he goes to his victim . playful killer , whose loving embrace splits the antelope's heart ... 」

it's hard to keep himself from turning captive to the television . for once his free time isn't spent away laying out maps or plotting out routes , or listening in to radio frequencies and news broadcasts for the sake of picking up even just one more tip that could have made an enormous difference in his next heist .

when was the last time he was really able to sit down and watch something like this ? it felt like forever , but the world really was so big outside of azumano , wasn't it ?

of course , anyone else might have had a difficult time keeping up with the occasional chase and hunt being played on the screen . speedy animals turned into colorful blurs and smears that daisuke and fyuga both effortlessly track with an equal visual mastery . though --- such focus means it takes the niwa a little while to switch his attentions and recognize fyuga's posture .

he only stares at her at first . then his head turns from the foreboding raise and shakes of fyuga's tails to the oblivious , imaginary bird on the screen ... before his stare slowly returns itself to fyuga , the boy's anxiety growing . in a lighting quick instant he stands , both realization and every honed reflex as quick as fyuga's own crawl backwards and lunging , leaping pounce --- ' fyuga , no !! '

eyes shut tight and he throws himself at her until he feels the hard impact of the floor . his dashing rescue has kept the television from being shredded and bitten into fresh new pieces ( no doubt ! ) but he hasn't accounted for the force of his fall . an ominous pendulum-thudding precedes a hard , landing WHACK on the back of his head .

' o-ouch ... ' the fallen television unplugs and the bird over his shoulder blinks out and finds itself banished into darkness . daisuke isn't sure how to explain to the creature in his tight grasp meanwhile that , just like horror movie monsters , the occasional action stunt , and little people made out of clay moving , not everything on T.V. was exactly as it seemed . ' are you okay , fyuga ? hold on , let me hurry and set the T.V. back up ... '

( ... though , maybe instead of watching anything nature-related on it anymore , he'd take fyuga outside into some woods to get her some fresh air . )

[sandyspaghettibag]

i have a ticket to finding someone who cares and allegedly likes me

and DAMN i kinda want to shred it up and book it in the opposite direction

i'm better suited to being a hopeless romantic admiring from a distance, someone giving me the same obsession i give them is actually terrifying and i can feel some kind of fight-or-flight instinct threatening to boil over into an extreme reaction of either one. i got myself into something i don't know what to do with and it's (almost literally) like selecting one of two choices that'll drastically alter the course of my life forever.

Meanwhile, my friends are just completely oblivious and the nonstop screwing up of my friendships and social life is just trying to drive me into making some stupid, very impulsive decision, and I'm not going to let it.

[psychdelia]

enemies to friends to lovers harringrove who don’t even realize they’ve entered lovers territory at someone’s house, maybe steve’s or joyce’s, for a christmas party. they’re off to the side while the kids are playing games and yelling at each other and the teens and adults are talking amongst themselves. they’re both leaning against the wall and talking, standing a little too close to each other. well, steve’s talking. one hand holding his spiked hot chocolate and making vast gestures, occasionally sloshing some over the edge of the mug. the other hand is mindlessly on billy, playing with the frayed hem of the ugly christmas sweater he cropped and shredded with some scissors. meanwhile, billy’s sipping at the boozy eggnog steve nearly gagged at after taking a sip, grimacing both at the sweetness and alcohol. he’s fully relaxed, a rare thing for billy. eggnog in one hand, the other rested on steve’s upper arm to control his hot chocolate from spilling over. he’s also staring at steve like he lit up the stars. he’s blushing a too, maybe from the alcohol. maybe not. el is the first one who notices it. she kinda just watches them, expression open. maybe a little curious. joyce notices el’s unmoving gaze and follows it, taking in the sight before her. it’s unmistakable, how they look at each other, touch each other. so obliviously in love. she can’t help the small, warm smile that takes over her features. max is the last to notice them in the moment but she was the first one who caught onto billy’s feelings. figured it out before the two even became friends. she’s quick to look around the room, make sure no one’s giving them any negative attention. she knows they’re in good hands when she finds joyce smiling, the others distracted. el whispers boyfriends? into her ear, to which max rolls her eyes and shakes her head with a, not yet. they’re idiots.

[monstermoviedean]

Thank you again for being so kind last night! I do wanna hear your story about your dog if you still wanna share it!

oh gosh it's the least i can do! i hope you slept well and are feeling a little better this morning!

let me tell you about my childhood dog, cody. he passed away a few years ago (age-related causes) and i miss him dearly! he was a chocolate lab and very much embodied the labrador spirit. meaning, he was a sweet, gentle boy who loved walks, swimming, chasing birds and small mammals, and sleeping.

he was also - and i say this with nothing but love - a dum-dum. my favorite example is when he and i would be playing with a toy. i would take the toy, put it behind my back, and show him my empty hands. and the toy was gone!!! totally gone! and he couldn't figure it out! he never knew where the toy had gone! i tried this exactly one (1) time with my current dog, murphy, and he looked at me like "do you really think i'm gonna fall for that?" and walked around me to pick up the toy. cody could never, bless his big dumb heart.

so, to the story. cody rarely got into people food. he would beg and would eat it if it was given to him or dropped on the floor, but he usually wouldn't counter-surf or steal food. his one exception was costco muffins, which he would steal at any opportunity. well, we went out for the night (i think to a movie or something) and cody got into some people food. i had some dark chocolate in my backpack, which was sitting on the floor of my bedroom. i didn't even think to zip up the backpack because i forgot the chocolate was in there and i didn't even begin to think that cody would get into it, because he just didn't do that.

well! he did. we got home to find the foil from the chocolate shredded across the floor. and he was ZOOMIN. like, sprinting around the house, jumping on and off the furniture, demanding attention and play time. it was pretty late at night, past his bedtime, so this was unusual. so i, being a paranoid fuck, looked up "chocolate overdose" and read the line "if your dog is exhibiting signs of hyperactivity, they may have already received a lethal dose." my parents were already asleep and the chocolate was my fault, so i determined i would stay up all night and observe him. because i could not let chocolate kill my chocolate lab. it would just be too horrifically poetic. so i got up on the couch and brought him up there with me, and put on some stupid awful late-night tv, and spent 3-4 hours sitting on the couch ready to jump out of my skin with anxiety, certain i had killed my poor sweet dog. meanwhile, he was snoring. completely fine and totally oblivious to my ongoing meltdown. he had a great night's sleep and woke up in the morning like nothing had happened. here is the sweet boy in question ❤️

[wouldbkaeyamain]

Tis the Season for HXH Christmas headcanons

1.Gon insists they go out and see all the lights and they make a whole thing of it, going to get dinner afterwards and shopping.

2.Leorio has a whole meal plan for Christmas Day, stressing and fussing the entire month about getting the right ingredients, just to have them only eat breakfast every year.

3.Kurapika decorates his gingerbread very nicely always dressing them up in a traditional Kurta outfit. Killua makes them look like they’re dying and bleeding coming up with a dramatic backstory for how they died. Gon and Leorio always have to be told not to eat the frosting, (they never listen) leading one them to get sick in the end.

4.They all fight about who’s going to play the Christmas music but somehow Kurapika always ends up being in charge and no one has complaints.

5.When it comes to decorating, Kurapika and Gon enjoy doing the tree the most, Gon is super careful with the ornaments, cupping them with both hands, and getting onto everyone about needing to be careful because Mito taught him to be, meanwhile Killua has already broken half a box.

6. Because of Leorio’s height, he always gets stuck stinging the lights, and he lifts one of them every year to top the tree.

7. Gon starts decorating as soon as Thanksgiving ends, he starts in his room insisting it won’t go any farther than that but one decoration at a time takes over the whole house, they never realize until it’s too late.

8. Leorio is pretty much content with any Christmas movie (he’s completely oblivious when it comes to tropes and cheesy-ness), but his absolute favorite are all three Home Alone movies which he basically worships. Gon loves Rudolph, Kurapika watched Its a Wonderful and hasn’t gone back since, and Killua is obsessed with the Grinch.

9. When it comes to making gingerbread houses, Killua is a master, his first time trying it he made mansion. Gon… not so much, his is basically a glorified heap of frosting and sprinkles which he’s proud of,,,,until he sees Killua’s.

10. Leorio buys gifts at the absolute last minute, (he’s been too busy getting ingredients he’ll never use) while Gon has gifts lined up months in advance.

11. Killua can’t wrap at all and he gets easily frustrated so he’ll waste lots of paper and tape but Kurapika always comes to the rescue to help just when he’s about to give up.

12. Leorio a hundred percent believes in Santa.

13. Leorio has an unholy amount of Christmas sweaters and Kurapika can’t stand it.

14. Gon makes it his mission to try and kiss everyone under the mistletoe, they all have 25 days to evade this child’s aggressive kisses, no one is safe.

15. Gon is very allergic to the tree, his nose is constantly running and his eyes get red and puffy, and yet still refuses to take allergy medicine.

16. They all of course have their favorite holiday drinks, Killua’s is, naturally, hot chocolate while Gon is partial to hot apple cider and sparkling cider, Leorio likes his eggnog ✨spicy✨ to which he introduced Kurapika, I think we all know how that went.

17. Killua always finds some ridiculous complaint about every gift he gets but in truth he loves them all.

18. Kurapika writes “from Santa” on every gift, and everyone but Leorio knows it’s him.

19. Kurapika enjoys building snowmen and Gon and Killua start huge snowball fights and build forts, Leorio is usually the one to head in a bit earlier than the others to get hot chocolate ready.

20. They all open a new set of pajamas Christmas Eve.

21. Gon is super slow when opening gifts because he wants to keep the wrapping paper, while Killua tears his to shreds with his claws, his gifts always end up with some sort of tear, snag, scratch, or hole in it. 

22. Picking up the wrapping paper is something Gon and Killua say they’ll do but it always ends up being Leorio or Kurapika.

23. Gon and Killua always joke every year that it will be Leorio’s last Christmas because he’s old.

24. Leorio wakes Gon and Killua up with train noises in the middle of some random night in December to watch Polar Express, he sets fake train tickets beside their bed and has the whole place decked out with snacks and a makeshift booths, while Kurapika hates the movie he enjoys seeing Leorio spoil them.

25. They spend the whole day in their pajamas, watching movies, baking, and at the end of the day Gon and Killua fall asleep under the tree.

[deadlyleomidget]

Heyyy, your writing is very good, keep it up! Just wanted to request a Miyuki x reader where he tries to flirt with his partner? (his partner probably complains about how he never flirts etc)

Hey! OMG I’m so sorry for taking so long to write this. I was so concentrated on my current fic, that I forgot to check my inbox. Thank you so much for your compliment. By the way, you phrased your request, I interpreted it that you wanted reader to be gender-neutral so that’s how I wrote it. If not... Then I’m sorry and I don’t mind changing the pronouns if that was the case. I hope you like it! 

‘I can totally do this,’ Miyuki thought with confidence when he left his dorm room to go on his date with his partner, Y/n-chan. Unfortunately, it was not often that he went on dates with his partner due to his busy schedule. Baseball took most of his time. Which was starting to worry the catcher that baseball was starting to put a strain on his relationship. That scared him to death. Y/n-chan already complained to him that he never flirts. In a frenzy, Miyuki went straight to the most knowledgeable person he knew and the only one he trusted: Kuramochi Youichi. 

The shortstop berated him over being so stupid and oblivious. He said that it was obvious that Y/n-chan wanted to be “wooed” by him. Miyuki didn’t quite know what that meant which garnered another scolding from his best friend. Kuramochi explained to him that he needed to set up a romantic date as soon as possible and be as dashing as possible. To compliment and treat Y/n-chan nicely. 

At first that mildly terrified Miyuki. He wasn’t very good at demonstrating his affection verbally. He preferred to do with his actions. But if it was going to save his relationship then he was going to try. Y/n-chan was worth it and then some. Kuramochi put his nerves at ease when he helped plan everything. The shortstop chose the restaurant, what to wear, and even styled his hair for him. Kuramochi said that he didn’t trust his sense of style and almost ripped to shreds all of the catcher’s clothes until he finally settled for a crisp white shirt, a black blazer, and a pair of dark wash jeans. Kuramochi said it was basic but it had to do in the meanwhile since most of Miyuki’s clothes are horrible according to him. As if insulting his clothing wasn’t enough then the shortstop went on and on about how Miyuki should thank his lucky stars that he was a pretty boy or otherwise this wouldn’t fly. After Miyuki got dressed, Kuramochi styled his hair using gel and slicked back his bangs so he would look different for a change. 

By this point, Miyuki thought that the shortstop was exaggerating which Kuramochi scoffed at. Kuramochi insisted that he had to look the part of a suave guy and had to be one too. He told him a bunch of different things he should say to Y/n-chan and how to act as well. After a crash course on ‘How to Flirt 101’ Kuramochi sent him on his way. 

Miyuki thought that he started well when he complimented Y/n-chan on their appearance. He should’ve received brownie points when he held Y/n-chan’s hand on their way to the restaurant judging from their bright smile. 

“This is a first for you,” y/n-chan commented with a smile. “You usually don’t hold my hand first.” 

“Well, this is a date right? So it’s only right,” Miyuki said, trying to sound as if it was not a big deal when it totally was. At least for him, it was. 

Once they arrived at the small restaurant, Miyuki opened the door for Y/n like the perfect gentleman. 

Y/n gave him a small smile. “Thank you.” 

They made their way inside. It was a small restaurant lit by candlelights making the atmosphere both cozy and romantic. Before Y/n-chan had a chance to sit, Miyuki pulled out a chair almost instantly for y/n to sit down. 

“And they say that chivalry is dead,” y/n said with a teasing smile. 

“Well, that’s because they haven’t met me,’ the catcher joked. 

Y/n rolled their eyes playfully and soon they fell into a comfortable conversation. They talked about all sorts of different conversations while they ordered, most of them silly, just like they usually do. It was nice and Miyuki was having a nice time. He could tell that Y/n was having a nice time too. 

But this wasn’t enough. 

According to Kuramochi, he had to “woo” Y/n tonight and he won’t accomplish his goal if he acts like he always does. 

So he had to try his hand at being “suave” and flirt with Y/n. 

Miyuki glanced at Y/n with the most intense gaze he could muster. Kuramochi told him that holding eye contact was important. 

Y/n soon noticed that he was staring and blinked in confusion. “Is everything okay Kazuya?” 

“Everything is fine,” the catcher said, flashing a seductive smirk. “I was just blinded by your beauty,” he then added.

Y/n gave him a weirded out look. “Thank you…,” Y/n said, before taking a sip of water. “You sure like to flatter me tonight.” 

Miyuki shrugged. “I’m just stating facts.” 

“Well, it’s weird,” Y/n quipped. “You’re usually not like this. Are you tired? That’s probably it. It’s been a busy week for everyone, including me.” 

The catcher then chuckled. “I’m not surprised you’re tired since you’ve been running through my mind all day babe,” he said with a small smile and then lightly touched Y/n’s wrist. 

Y/n raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? Well, that’s very sweet of you… I think about you all day too,” Y/n replied in a skeptical tone. 

Miyuki didn’t let his smile falter but he was starting to sweat bullets. He was saying all the things that Kuramochi told him to say, he was acting like he told him too, with the touching and the “suave” smiles. But it was not winning Y/n over. What the hell was he doing wrong? What was missing? 

Out of frustration, the catcher looked around to calm down his nerves. He felt like this was his first date and it was going down like a complete disaster. Miyuki took a deep breath and casually glanced towards the window and then blinked in confusion when he noticed a head of green hair. 

‘Is that Kuramochi?’ 

Miyuki blinked several times and then looked towards the window only to see a view of the empty sidewalk. No green hair insight. Did he imagine it?

“What are you looking at?” Y/n asked in curiosity. 

“Oh, nothing. I just thought I saw something,” Miyuki said with an awkward laugh. 

Y/n gave him another awkward smile. “So I noticed that you style your hair differently tonight,” Y/n pointed out at his slicked-back bangs.

“Ah yes, I decided to try something different for you,” he replied and then ran his hand through his brown hair, pushing it back as slowly as he could. “Do you like it?” he asked in a low tone. 

Y/n just stared at him in silence before bursting to laugh out loud. 

Miyuki widened his eyes in surprise, perplexed at Y/n’s reaction. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Y/n apologized between fits of laughter. “It’s just… It’s just… What was that? Are you trying to look like a movie star?” Y/n asked, wiping a tear off their eye. 

The catcher averted his gaze as a small shade of pink covered his cheeks. “I was trying to flirt,” he mumbled. 

“What?” Y/n asked, getting closer to Miyuki to hear him better. 

“I was trying to flirt,” he said a bit louder which surprised Y/n. “Weren’t you the one who said that I didn’t flirt with you anymore and that I wasn’t romantic?” he asked in irritation. “I was trying to please you!” 

Y/n was taken aback by his response. “Oh Kazuya, you were trying to change for me?” Y/n asked, feeling touched. “I really appreciate it. But this wasn’t what I meant.” 

Miyuki blinked in confusion. “No? You didn’t want to be ‘wooed’ by me?” he asked. 

“Wooed?” y/n repeated perplexed. “From where did you get that idea?” 

“That’s what Kuramochi told me,” the catcher explained. “I told him what you told me and he said that you wanted me to be all suave and woo you,” he elaborated, feeling embarrassed. 

Y/n snorted. “Kuramochi? You took advice from Kuramochi,” Y/n asked in an incredulous tone. 

“Well… Yes,” Miyuki replied, suddenly feeling stupid. “I didn’t know who else to ask. He gave me advice about everything. About what to say, what to wear, where to take you. That’s why I said all of those things. But if you say that he was wrong, then what did you mean? I thought you wanted to spend a more romantic time together. ” 

Y/n giggled. “I do want to spend more romantic time together,” Y/n replied. “I know it’s not always possible because of your busy schedule so I understand. Going out just the two of us is nice. Hanging out together even if we don’t do anything special is also nice. It’s just that when we do spend time together I want you to be a bit more romantic. Like holding hands or telling me that I look nice. You don’t need to do it all the time since I know you’re not comfortable with that. But if you do it from time to time, I’d be happy with that. But only if you do it being your authentic self,” Y/n explained with a warning. “I don’t need cheesy pick-up lines and for you to be someone that you’re not.” 

Miyuki let out a sigh in relief. “I’m so glad,” the catcher said. “I don’t think that I was going to be able to keep this up.” 

“I’m glad,” Y/n said with a chuckle. 

Miyuki then gave Y/n a sincere smile and slid his hand across the table to hold their hand. “I’m sorry for not being very expressive with my feelings in the past. I’ll try my best to change that. I promise.” 

Y/n returned his smile and then squeezed his hand. “I know that you will,” they said. “You doing all of this and putting that act because you thought that was what I wanted just shows me that I’m in your heart.” 

The catcher nodded. “Always, Y/n.” 

“Now that we’re talking about promises, can you promise something else?” 

“Anything you want.” 

“Please don’t get dating advice from Kuramochi-kun ever again,” Y/n pleaded. 

Miyuki scoffed. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” 

[chimchimsauce]

The Hills

The Hills have eyes

A commission for darling @illnevertrustmyselfagain​ 

Thank you for your patience! Commissions are open

A steady stream of sweat sticks YN’s thin T-shirt to her back and her hair to her forehead as she struggles under the weight of one of her moving boxes. It’s not all that heavy, but it's incredibly large and awkward to hold against her as she makes her way up the stairs. Finally, she sees the light at the end of the tunnel (or rather hallway) and steps foot into her brand new apartment, setting the box down immediately.

“Is there anything else you need, ma’am?” One of the burly movers YN hired asks her, sweat heavy upon his brow.

She’d brought the last box up herself, wanting to have the personal honor of finishing moving herself in.

“No,” she shakes her head, breathless from her own hard work, “That’s everything. Thank you, guys.”

She tips the men generously, knowing that it must have been extra difficult to move all of her furniture up the many flights of stairs in her new apartment building.

Now, all alone, YN can finally take a good look at it. ‘Apartment’ doesn’t quite seem to fit this new place. It’s massive - room after room with tons of space to put any and everything she could ever need inside of it. A small smile graces her face. 

She’s done it. This is all her. Working every single day for the past eight years and dumping all of her time and energy into her startup has truly paid off. She may have missed out on so-called rites of passages and her relationships have certainly suffered, but she’s done it!

That little startup that began in her childhood bedroom when she was in eleventh-grade grew to something so massive that investors sniffed around in record time. Soon enough, someone gave her a number bigger than she would have ever imagined and the decision to sell was easy. YN had given her company the very best she had, but now it’s time to move onto something new.

But before she decided to dedicate her life once again to a passion project, YN makes the choice to step away for a bit and enjoy her newfound wealth by moving to the richest neighborhood in Seoul - Hannam the Hill. The security ensures that she doesn’t have to worry about anything and the location offers her proximity to everything she’d ever want to do.

And speaking of location, YN drags her exhausted body to one of the many massive windows in her apartment, looking out and seeing the evening Seoul skyline. Buildings taller than anything she’s ever seen stand tall and proud like soldiers, their lights bright like her future. The businesswoman goes to bed with a grin on her face, her dreams full of lights that shine like stars.

Within a week of moving in, YN is more or less unpacked. All of her meager wardrobe has been placed in her massive closet and her dishes all unpacked, barely filling a single cabinet in the kitchen.

“Well that won’t do,” she says to herself, looking at her mostly empty-looking apartment.

In the past she spent the vast majority of her time at the office working, so her house was of little consequence She never even hung anything up on her walls. But now, now she finally has the chance to relax, to indulge and fill her life with color.

Grabbing her keys off of the hook by her door, YN decides that now’s as good a time as any to blow some money. She shrugs on a light jacket and heads out. Excitement drums through her veins and pep is in her step. For a moment, she’s in her own world, completely oblivious to everything around her.

That obliviousness leads her to run smack into a small, thin figure, nearly knocking the person off of their feet.

“Oh! Sorry about that!” she says, continuing on her way without questioning the person’s masked face too much.

She knows the Hill’s security is top-notch, so they’re certainly someone who lives here or otherwise has permission to be here.

Annoyed and exhausted, Yoongi glares at the retreating figure, trying to figure out if he’s seen that rude person before. Her face doesn’t seem the slightest bit familiar, so he guesses she must be the new neighbor who moved in a few days ago. Shoving his hands deep in his pocket he finds his keys and heads inside, not even making it to his bed before falling asleep.

Meanwhile, YN steps foot into the parking garage. Her car is fresh off the lot, that new car smell still clinging to her seats. She sets her GPS for the nearest furniture store and pulls away.

YN stays away from leather and white. Those were all her life had been - empty white walls and uncomfortable chairs and couches. She moves through the store slowly, analyzing each and every piece of furniture before settling on a bright yellow couch. It’s loud and undeniably eye catching, something she never would have even thought about buying before.

But now . . . the black card is burning in her pocket.

An hour or two later something of every color under the sun has been charged onto her card, destined to be delivered and put together in her home in just a few days.

And boy oh boy, does it feel good!

YN could swear the world is brighter when she leaves, walking through the streets of Seoul, boutique shops and fancy cafes lining her on each side. She comes to a stop when she sees an especially fascinating looking store and raises her hand to pull open the handle but stops when she hears a small whimper.

For a moment, YN thinks she’s making something up, but the sound comes once more. She pulls away from the storefront and peeks into the alley next door, carefully making her way down the near-empty valley. The whimper comes again and YN crouches down to open a sad looking box. 

There, inside, a small shivering puppy is balled up into himself, not even looking at YN. She feels her heart break. Gently, she lifts the small animal up, clutching it close to her chest and rushing towards her car, looking for the nearest vet.

Yoongi isn’t sure when the last time he left his house was. He’s been working nonstop, constantly leaning over his computer to write and compose. His work was easy initially, but Yoongi has been stuck on this bridge for only God knows how long now.

He sighs, pushing away from his desk to stand and stretch, ignoring the way his body screams out in pain and his bones creak. Chip bags and crushed beer cans litter the ground, Yoongi shuffling through the mess without bothering to pick any of them up.

Sunlight nearly blinds him when he steps into his living room. He tosses his arm over his eyes as spots swarm his vision, nausea bubbling up inside of him quickly.

Damn. He’d forgotten to close them last time he’d been out here.

Once he can finally look ahead without his vision looping he shuffles into his kitchen, plugging in his coffee maker and impatiently waiting for it to brew. The window his counter is pressed against to looks out over a park. Bored, he actually glances out for once, people in the distance not aware of the multimillionaire looking at them.

At first, he doesn’t see anything of interest, just the usual stiff-necked people wearing the absolute wrong thing to the park. But then, faster than light, a small creature dashes across the massive green space, a woman chasing after it. Yoongi thinks that maybe someone’s dog has run away, but it soon becomes evident that it’s some sort of game, as the dog starts to yip happily when the woman catches up with him.

A small smile makes its way onto Yoongi’s face as he watches them but it falls soon after. When was the last time he’d done something as simple as enjoyed a day at the park with his dog?

The coffee machine whirs to a stop but Yoongi doesn’t grab it, too lost in his own thoughts. It’s been how long since he broke up with his band mates and gone solo? Three years? Four? He honestly doesn't know. While at first, Yoongi had been all to happy to leave his twenties behind and move forward with his career as a producer and occasional soloist, it soon set in how terribly lonely such a decision made him.

He’s much too well known to simply stroll about how he could when he was a teenager, just another face in an endless stream of people with dreams. But once he reached that dream - once the words “Min Suga” were on every tongue across the globe, he realized that it wasn’t what he wanted at all.

He loved music and success but he hated always being in the limelight without a shred of privacy and under the constant creative censorship of millions of people. So when it once again became time to resign their contracts, Yoongi took a step back even though the others begged him to stay.

Yoongi remembers that day vividly. The look of shock and betrayal as Yoongi said that he wished he’d never even joined BTS, never even pursued the path to idoldom. It was all lies but he’d been feeling so overwhelmed that he just wanted everything to stop for once. Stop the cameras and stop the screaming fans each time he stepped foot out into public.

And so seven became six . . .

But it didn’t last long. Less than six months later the three youngest members decided to leave for military service together and they just never came back. Their sudden departure caused a media uproar and several lawsuits, but the boys had made more than enough money to sweep them under the rug. And then there were three. That didn’t last much longer at all.

Within a year of Min Yoongi leaving BTS, the entire group disbanded.

Yoongi sighs, reaching for his cup and tearing his eyes from the window. He doesn’t deserve such joy, not after he destroyed the only real familial bond he’d ever had. He hasn’t talked to the other members (Ex-members, he reminds himself) since he walked out on him.

Usually, Yoongi is able to create beats with very little inspiration, but lately, that same tiredness from before has sprung up inside of him, leaving him with nothing but pure garbage and terrible posture.

He desperately needs a new muse, but at this rate, he doesn’t think he’ll ever find one.

Pitying himself, Yoongi drags his feet all the way into his office, once more shutting the world out.

Within two months of living in her new apartment, YN can confidently say that her life has never been better. She’s never been so stress-free and relaxed. All this free time has her diving into new hobbies every chance she gets. While most of them don’t stick for more than a few days (Is it really a surprise that sewing isn’t her thing?) she has fallen head over heels in love with baking.

For most of her teenage and early adult years, YN lived purely off of takeout food, never once lifting an arm to cook something for herself or bake a treat. Really, it wasn’t her fault. She was always in and out of meetings, drafting new business ideas, and making trips. She just didn’t have the time! And while she is absolutely awful at most of her new hobbies, YN’d taken to baking like a fish to water.

She enjoyed it so much that she’d quickly overbaked for herself, somehow coming to be surrounded by dozens of cupcakes, muffins, pies, and every other sweet thing imaginable. So, freshly made treats in hand, YN began to introduce herself to her neighbors.

While she is phenomenal at meeting people in a business setting, going over to her incredibly rich and sophisticated neighbors’ homes had been a bit anxiety-inducing. YN has never been great at making friends, but she was pleasantly surprised how kind the other people of the hills have been. Multi millionaires tend to be portrayed as stuck up, but YN now has a few friends she meets up with for weekly coffee gossip sessions. While she doesn’t really have much to add to their conversations, it’s nice just to be included. 

At this point she’s met pretty much everyone on her floor, everyone except . . .

YN has never seen her next door neighbor leave their apartment. Whoever they are, they never make so much as a peep. It’s almost as if the apartment is completely empty. YN even asked her new friends about it, but they claim that someone has lived there for over three years now.

That once buried anxiety flares up once more as YN finds herself standing in front of his door, apartment number 613. She lifts her hand up to knock politely, hip supporting a large basket of muffins. She hadn’t made this many for her other neighbors, but something about the mystery of this one had her tossing in a few extra for good measure.

No one answers.

YN tries one more time and again there is not a single sound.

Just as she’s about to turn around with her hypothetical tail tucked between her legs the door creaks open ever so slightly. She can’t even see who is behind the door.

“Oh! Hello!” YN says, a little shocked, “I”m YN. I moved in next door about two months ago.”

Silence.

“I . . . um . . . I made muffins,” YN says, thrusting the basket towards the door.

Once again, the person doesn’t say anything. Unsure if she’s creeped out, embarrassed, or some awful combination of both, YN begins her retreat.

“Ah, well, I’ll just leave these here!” She manages to say, setting the basket down and hastily making it back to her own apartment, nearly slamming the door shut behind her.

What was that? What had just happened?

Just a few yards away, Yoongi stands in his own home, looking at the muffins his neighbor left outside his door. He never opens his door all the way, fearful that some old sasaeng would have found him out. But when he saw that it was her - the woman he’s been watching at the park almost every day, he didn’t know what to do.

For the first time in years, Yoongi felt a jolt of something running through his veins. She always looks so happy and full of life that Yoongi can’t help but feel intrigued by her. Hesitantly, Yoongi peeks out and plucks the basket up, bringing it inside.

His kitchen is bare of anything but empty wrappers, so the basket of freshly baked goods looks incredibly out of place.

Yoongi’s stomach growls, so he picks up one of the muffins, pleasantly surprised to find that it’s still warm. Before he knows it, he’s eaten six muffins, all of them delicious. When he retreats to his studio once more, a soft, sweet melody is in his brain.

He composes a song for the first time in months.

The next day, as YN prepares to go on her daily walk with her puppy Sugar, a small piece of paper slips under her door. Sugar is eager to check it out, sniffing it with abandon. YN, laughing at Sugar’s adorable antics, struggles to get the paper away from him without ruining it.

YN,

I apologize for my odd behavior. I wasn’t feeling well yesterday and thus acted rudely. The muffins you made were delicious and made me feel leaps and bounds better. If you feel up to it, would you like to go to dinner with me? I’d love to make it up to you.

Thanks again,

MYG

MYG? Is that her neighbor’s name? YN recalls her friends saying that the person next door is a near complete recluse. Dinner? Should she go?

YN clicks Sugar’s leash to his collar, throwing a look over her shoulder as she leaves her apartment to head to the park, unaware of the man peeping through his door.

Sure. Do you have any restaurant recommendations? There are still plenty of places I haven’t gone to. Here’s my number XXXXXXXXX

YN

Yoongi is more than shocked by the letter under his door when he emerges from his studio after cleaning up his latest song. That adrenaline rush he’d gotten from YN’s treats has worn off somewhat and inspiration has fallen quickly. He finished the first song in a breeze, but he began to struggle again with the second.

SO why not get to know her better? Best case scenario, YN provides more inspiration. Worst case, she’s a psychopath.

He doesn’t think the second one is very likely, but he’s still hesitant, choosing to go to a restaurant he’d been a regular in for quite some time. Yoongi books out a room in the back and texts YN the details, setting their meeting for the weekend.

When the day finally rolls around, Yoongi is more nervous than he has been in a long time. What if she recognizes him? Or worse, what is she stands him up altogether?

His fears are squashed when he sees her standing on the sidewalk, dressed too simply for the restaurant he booked.

“Hello,” Yoongi says, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide how nervous he is, “You’re YN right? I’m Min Yoongi, your neighbor.”

“Oh!” she says, brightening up and sticking her hand out to greet him, “It’s nice to meet you!”

He takes her hand in his, squeezing it gently and pretending not to notice the shivers that shoot through him.

“This is the place right?” she asks, taking her hand back and brushing her hair behind her ear.

“Actually,” Yoongi says, noticing the odd looks YN is getting based on her everyday outfit, “I was just going to pick food up here and then head to the park, if that’s okay. It has a really clear view this time of night.”

“That sounds great!” YN says.

Yoongi, slightly frantic with his new lie, heads up to the reservation counter and asks to speak to the manager, a close friend of his. A couple of hushed whispers later, Yoongi is given a bag of freshly cooked food, the producer not feeling even the slightest bit bad about taking someone else’s order.

“So . . . how have you been enjoying the Hills?” Yoongi asks as they stroll side by side to the park she always frequents.

They’re standing too far apart to be more than anything but acquaintances. Yoongi finds himself wishing she was closer so their arms would brush.

“It’s been really nice!” YN says enthusiastically, “Everyone has been so kind and it’s been so amazing to finally have time for myself.”

“Finally?”

“Oh!” YN remarks, “Yeah, I had a startup that just recently got sold. I decided to take a few months off before I began another business venture. What about you?”

The curiosity in her eyes tells Yoongi that YN truly has no idea who he is. He finds himself relaxing even more.

“I’m a producer, mainly. Sometimes I write songs as well,” he says shyly, stopping next to one of the picnic tables that sporadically dot the large park.

He sets the food down and sits opposite to her, leaving plenty of space between them.

“Really? That sounds so cool! I’d love to hear something you made one day.”

Her tone is nothing but polite but dread forms in Yoongi’s stomach. He hasn’t worked on many new projects at all and he doesn't think he has anything good enough to show this incredibly bright woman.

Yoongi’s face must betray his apprehension because YN backs off right away.

“It’s totally fine if you don’t want to share! When I was younger one of my cousins was really into art but she never showed anyone what she made. I get it, it can be really personal.”

“No!” Yoongi says a little too loudly, “I’d love to show you something. I was just surprised you asked.”

YN smiles and everything is right again. The rest of the night passes much too quickly for Yoongi’s tastes, but he leaves feeling more inspired than ever. For once, he actually cleans his entire apartment, preparing it for YN to come over. Bags and bags of trash are tossed away and candles are lit to rid the space of any lingering odors He takes extra care in preparing his studio, hiding all the evidence of months of frustration in drawers and sitting down with a melody stuck in his brain.

She visits a week later. YN is more than surprised how clean Yoongi’s apartment is. She has learned quite a lot about him through all the texts they’ve exchanged and he never rubbed her as a clean freak. Methodical? Sure. Not the best at expressing emotions? Definitely. But the cleanest person she’s ever met? That’s a new one.

Yoongi is a little dressed up when he answers the door. His smile is wide and almost childlike, adorable in a way that has YN smiling as well.

They make small talk over the treats she brought over (cookies this time) before Yoongi leads her to a large room in the back of the house.

It’s breathtaking. Expensive devices line every open surface of the studio, all gleaming under the overhead lights. The studio walls are lined with records even she can tell are rare, each encased in a glass frame. A large couch is pushed against one wall with a coffee table in front of it, tastefully decorated with magazines and small plants.

“This is amazing, Yoongi,” YN says, half breathless.

Yoongi can hear his own heartbeat thumping loudly in his ears at the way stars seem to have shifted into YN’s gaze.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, “Would you like to hear what I’ve been working on?”

He needs to work up the courage now before he comes up with an excuse to never show YN the song he’s been working on so diligently day in and day out.

“Of course!”

Yoongi had pulled an extra chair in front of his computer in advance and she takes a seat, waiting eagerly for Yoongi to pull up his masterpiece. His fingers shake ever so slightly as he pulls it up and presses play.

He doesn’t think he takes a breath during the entire three and a half minute long song. How could he? It’s not every day you show the love song to the woman you’ve been watching for almost two months.

“Yoongi,” YN says when it finishes.

He feels his heart clench.

“That was beautiful! Who’s it about?”

“Who?”

“It’s a love song right? Are you in love with someone?”

Her question is innocent but it sends Yoongi into a panic.

“Yeah, actually,” he says, looking at anyone but her, “You.”

For a moment everything is silent. Neither of them breathe. 

“Oh,” YN says.

Yoongi never knew two letters could crush him.

“I’m flattered but . . . I don’t really see you as anything more than a friend . . .”

YN trails off, not exactly sure what to say. She’s never been the romantic type. She always figured she’d fall in love when it was time but that time certainly isn’t now. She’s just barely figuring out who she is herself. She doesn’t have space in her heart for anyone else.

“Ah . . . I wasn’t expecting you to . . . um . . .”

Yoongi stutters out words at random trying desperately hard to not make things any worse than they already are.

“Maybe I should go . . .” YN says.

She doesn’t wait for his answer, simply standing up and leaving, casting one more glance at the hunched over man behind her. Her red heels click against the floor, fading when she leaves the home.

For the next two weeks, Yoongi texts her constantly. YN can barely go ten minutes without her phone buzzing with an apology or an offer for lunch. If she felt bad about rejecting him at first, YN is glad she did now. He’s behaving obsessively and it’s beginning to creep her out. Finally, she’s had it altogether, sending him a curt message demanding he never talks to her ever again and blocking his number straight away.

For a time, everything seems okay. Min Yoongi leaves her life just as swiftly as he had entered it. She’s almost forgotten about it altogether, until she’s stuck in traffic one evening. YN is listening to the radio, head bopping mindlessly along to the beat of a song she doesn’t know. But then the chorus starts and the hair on her arm stands on end.

Really, is it strange to fall in love? Really, is it odd that I want more? You flew in just like a turtle dove, pure and sweet, I only wanted your love. Maybe I should have locked you away? Maybe I should have clipped your wings? Then at least I know you’d stay? Stay, forever here with me.

Normally, YN wouldn’t have paid it any attention, but something about the song is so eerie that she begins to get creeped out.

Another male voice joins the singer.

Sweet like cinnamon, bright as the sun, soft, so soft, I needed you to melt into me. Salvation came in a wicker basket and left in bright red heels. Maybe I should have had something better to say, maybe then, you wouldn’t have rushed away.

Ignorance is bliss, but baby you’re all I think about. I couldn’t ignore you if I tried, if I wanted to. Ignorance is bliss, baby, but euphoria lives next door.

The song fades and the host’s voice floats out afterward.

“That song was ‘Red Heels and Cinnamon’ by Dave Kim and Min Yoongi. This song has been the most popular song on the charts for weeks! The famed producer and songwriter hasn’t given the press much background on the story, simply commenting that it’s something close to his heart and that more songs with this new vibe will be releasing soon.”

Release they did. Hit song after Hit song comes out, each creepier than the one before. If YN was able to convince herself that the songs weren’t about her, they became impossible to ignore. Yoongi next released a song about a woman with aspirations and no room for love, followed by one about a man following the woman he loved to make sure she was okay. That song detailed the entire events of her day.

And finally, Yoongi released a song giving out YN’s phone number.

Having had more than enough of this nonsense, YN knocks on Yoongi’s door, leaving her blaring phone behind.

He cracks the door open again before swinging it wide, looking much too pleased to see her.

“YN? I thought you never wanted to see me again. What are you doing here?”

“I know what you’re doing. Cut it out,” she hisses at him.

“Cut what out?”

“All of the songs! And the stalking! I know you’re following me!”

YN clenches her sweater closer to her body, trying to comfort herself. Yoongi looks down at it.

“You should have gotten the red one. It suits you better.”

Chill crawls down YN’s back and her limbs go stiff.

“What do you want from me,” she whispers, unable to look him in the eye.

“I feel something different when I’m around you. I feel alive - more motivated than I’ve ever been. All I want is for you to feel that same way.”

“And if I don’t?” YN asks, daring to look at him.

He’s silent for a moment. Yoongi’s expression darkens.

“That new firm that hired you as a consultant? The CEO’s daughter is a long time fan of mine. He’d do anything to keep her happy. Even replacing you . . .”

“But I can -” YN objects.

“Get a new job? Oh, sure. But I don’t think anyone would want to hire you if they knew what you did on May sixteenth.”

YN’s blood turns to ice. There are only a few things YN isn’t proud of and getting kicked out of a bar and then arrested after starting a fight is on the very top of that list. Thankfully, she had some connections to get her out of any charges and had swept the entire thing under the rug. But if it gets out . . .

“It’s up to you. Why don’t you come inside and see what I’m working on?”

Yoongi leaves the door wide open and retreats inside.

Hesitantly, YN follows after him.