#me yapping once again about something
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
#honestly I didnt know who to fit into Krolocks square#but im extremely right#tanz der vampire#tdv#count von krolock#herbert von krolock#vámpírok bálja#tanz der vampire alfred#graf von krolock#me yapping once again about something#professor abronsius#meme#parkour civilization#minecraft
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
I just want to say that I really love your analysis on Gojo and Sukuna a lot.
Can I ask for analysis of Sukuna and Yuji dynamics? It's okay if you take awhile to answer this.
(Answered as of JJK 262 using TCB Scans.)
Oh boy this one is fun!
I see Sukuna and Yuji as opposite sides of the same coin. They both have the same kind of tools but wind up at completely different conclusions because of their own personal biases.
By the way, thank you for breaking my brain anon. I'm going to consider this yet another part of my attempt to grasp Sukuna's character.
Sukuna's Loneliness Part 3 (Sukuna's hatred of Yuji is jealousy.)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4
Click images for captions/citations.
Yuji and Sukuna's Shrine
Gege does this really clever thing where kanji used to describe a Cursed Technique (CT) have multiple readings, especially if you look past the initial proposed reading. In a way, this is teaching you how to read the text. The face-value reading, albeit true, hides another reading underneath.
Dismantle comes from the kanji 解 (Kai). This kanji can mean to unravel, to explain, to understand, to solve, to cut. It’s first introduced with chef knives which pushes the reader to interpret the meaning as “to cut”. However, this doesn't mean it's not carrying the other readings at the same time. The cutting is not simply cutting, it's a purposeful unraveling in search of an answer—in other words, dismantling.
Another good translation of 解 (Kai) would be Dissect. Though dismantle gets across a similar feeling, dissect invokes a more intimate and purposeful imagery to the cutting. Both of translations are good in their own ways. It's a matter of preference for which is better.
My point here is that the technique itself indicates the user is trying to understand something closely. The surface reading isn't sufficient for the user, the insides, the guts are what they're after. Both Yuji and Sukuna embody this desire to understand others in completely opposite directions.
Yuji, Human Golden Retriever
Yuji is wholly devoted to understanding others. He unravels the hearts of those around him by being himself. Similar to Sukuna, he also mimics people he admires. Not only in battle, but casually as well, pair bonding with just about anyone who will let him.
The mimicry aspect of Yuji here is very important because it demonstrates he is trying to understand other people on their own terms and not his own. Yuji engages everyone as themselves and accepts them as they are. Him having no braincells is a boon because it means he can absorb others' with ease.
I'm extremely fond of Yuji's pair bonding with Gojo in particular. In great length I've explained how Gojo's inability to deeply connect with others since his breakup with Geto was isolating and dehumanizing. Yuji is the first person since then to match his energy exactly and without question. Usually other characters get irritated with his shenanigans and can't follow him in conversation. Yuji consistently keeps up with him in that regard even if he's confused. In this way, Yuji has done the impossible, he has gotten past some of Gojo's emotional barriers and connected with him.
This type of seemingly impossible connection is not limited to Gojo, my other favorite being Junpei. Up until Yuji meets him, Junpei is effectively groomed by Mahito into hating other people. Mahito teaches him distrust and to see human ugliness first. Junpei starts to believe everyone is rotten and therefore ok to kill. But Yuji meets him by chance and does this:
All that time Mahito spent molding Junpei into someone worse flies right out the window because Yuji wins him over by being genuine. This is the crux of Yuji's character.
Yuji's Unyielding Spirit
Just about everyone is won over by Yuji's persistent unending good boy energy, even the people who try to kill him (Megumi, the Kyoto students, Choso, Hakari, Higurama, etc.). His most interesting converts are Higurama and Hakari in my opinion. This is because Yuji's steadfast devotion to others defies their world views.
After a lifetime's worth of heartbreak as a public defender, Higurama believes that deep down all people are hideous (similar to Junpei). He's ready to kill Yuji until he takes the blame for something he didn't do. It so thoroughly shakes him that he has a meltdown over the chapter and ultimately concludes he was in the wrong.
Yuji doesn't try to make Higurama understand him here. All he does is be himself and it forces Higurama to undergo character growth that ultimately results in him understanding Yuji.
Yuji does the exact same thing to Hakari but in a different way. Hakari believes in the selfish types who are passionate in their own pursuits. He's a lot like Sukuna in that way, he straight up calls Yuji boring for doing things on the behalf of others.
Yuji doesn't care though. He's got a clear goal and he's chasing it. Hakari knocking him down over and over does nothing. Unlike with Higurama, Yuji explains exactly how he sees himself and that if Hakari can't handle it, he'll keep getting back up until he accepts it. And it works. Eventually Hakari can see the "fever" of someone who is nothing like him.
These two converts best illustrate how Yuji is the embodiment of unwavering humanity. He does things for other people and he will keep doing things for other people even it brings him pain or death. If you don't understand that kind of mentality, he'll let you pummel him until you do.
Also notice how he never once tells his converts they are wrong to think the way they do. This acceptance of their differences is very important and will be coming up later.
Yuji's Love
Yuji connects with others through mimicry (and so does Sukuna). This, of course, is an expression of love. But what really sets his love apart from others' is his ability to perceive people and their emotions—he notices things about them no one else would.
I include the bout with Panda in this collage since their entire conversation occurs nonverbally. Yuji infers how Panda is feeling and what his goals are by sparing through a fake duel. All of this shows that despite Yuji's low general intelligence, his emotional intelligence is unparalleled. In a way, this ability of his to read others is him taking after both Kenjaku and Sukuna. But he doesn't use this insight to torment others, he uses it to befriend them.
This understanding of others is not limited to those Yuji is friendly with too. Hated people and things are something he is willing to engage without hostility.
I'm using the anime screencap because Yuji immediately accepting cursed objects, Sukuna's in particular, as something to be cherished instead of scorned really needs to be talked about more. And of course his acceptance of Todo (who is just like Sukuna for reasons we will get into later) is nearly just as important as him understanding Sukuna enough to utilize him against Mahito. These are both people, despised by most of the cast, that Yuji is willing to accept and work with on their own terms.
I often use the lens of analysis in which Umineko gave me: "Without love it cannot be seen." This is referring to how one needs to set aside their negative biases and assumptions to properly see the motives behind an action. It's sort of like giving someone the benefit of the doubt in your attempt to understand them. I think Yuji is the personification of this concept. And that's why Sukuna cannot stand him.
Sukuna, King of Miscommunication
The way in which Sukuna goes about understanding others is the polar opposite of Yuji and deeply perverse. It's like how a shark uses its mouth to explore the world. Instead of using his words, Sukuna uses his cutting to feel others out. And much like a shark, the exploratory bite and attacking bite are extremely different in action despite both resulting in the same level of harm or death when experienced.
Take notice of how happy Sukuna is when cutting his playmates. He doesn't kill them immediately and uses the information from his slashes to gain a better understanding of them. This is how Sukuna interacts with the world.
It's easy to dismiss sharks as evil since their bites do harm to humans no matter the context. But if you try to understand them on shark terms, they're actually pretty adorable. In other words, without love it (shark cuteness) cannot be seen. Please keep this in mind as I attempt to convince you Sukuna is peak gap moe.
Sukuna's Affection
Sukuna is very similar to Gojo in that he displays affection in very bizarre and unpleasant ways. But unlike Gojo who just verbally assaults people, Sukuna straight up assaults them. He's more than happy to give people compliments for their efforts, but it comes at the price of enduring his violence.
As you can see some of these compliments coincide with attempts to teach his opponent how to be a better fighter. And this is where Sukuna's affection shines the most—when he reaches out to his opponent and tries to connect with them and understand them through battle.
However...every single time Sukuna tries to bond with someone this way, they try to kill him. It's kind of hilarious.
He tries to connect with the Finger Bearer, a curse of all things. Rejected.
He tries to connect with Megumi after showing him his heart. Rejected.
He tries to connect with Higurama after cutting his limbs off. Rejected.
He tries to connect with Maki via an unhinged high-praise yapfest. Rejected.
No one here engages Sukuna's dialogue. They ignore his words entirely to focus on killing him. The only time anyone listens to him is if they're Uraume, actively dying, or Kashimo.
As you can see, Sukuna primarily expresses affection through violence. It's always accompanied by a smile and sometimes a backhanded compliment. No one can recognize this as affection because getting bit by a shark hurts regardless of intent. That being said, this affectionate violence differs greatly when compared to the violence inflicted out of aggravation.
Sukuna's Pickiness
Sukuna shows his displeasure through cutting as well. This usually occurs when people reach out to him without his explicit permission. Though Sukuna is eager to form bonds with others to some degree, he absolutely loathes when expectations are thrust onto him by another party.
That kind of relationship is transactional and not between equals. They don't want Sukuna for himself, they want Sukuna for themselves. Yorozu is the epitome of this and Sukuna treats her accordingly.
Notice how in both of these instances Sukuna's expression is the furthest thing from pleased. Yorozu does recognize his loneliness but disregards how he wants to deal with it. Sukuna cuts her to keep her away from him, not to understand her, and she doesn't get it. (Also note how he refuses to use his Shrine on her in their battle. Which we’ve established as Sukuna’s tool for understanding others. He wants so little to do with her it’s funny.)
Mahito also winds up on the receiving end of "get the fudge away from me" slashes despite initially bonding with Sukuna over Yuji's suffering. They inadvertently disrespect Sukuna's boundaries through unwanted contact, much like Yorozu, leading to this reaction. (To be fair, having your soul touched by a stranger sounds pretty upsetting.) Framing Sukuna's dislike of Mahito as an annoyed hostess vs a touchy patron in joke panels is a great way to illustrate how much he values this particular boundary.
Once again, Sukuna's expressions are very clear in their disgust. These cuts are to be read as hostile. When Sukuna cuts others in this manner, he is not trying to understand them.
Sukuna's Missed Connections
Now that we know how to read Sukuna's intent through how he cuts, we can also read his mood during fights and infer how he feels about other characters.
Jogo
In this post I kind of went over why Jogo wound up being favored by Sukuna. But let's break it down some more.
Jogo started in Sukuna's doghouse. His body language, facial expressions, and treatment of Jogo initially indicates Sukuna categorized Jogo amongst the likes of Mahito and Yorozu (he did touch his face without permission). Then Jogo said he wanted nothing of Sukuna, and everything changed.
Sukuna smiles at him and plays with him in the exact same manner he tried to with the Finger Bearer and Megumi earlier. He tries to coax Jogo into going all out while taking the time to figure out why he doesn't.
And perhaps learning from past mistakes, or Yuji (though he'd probably never admit it), Sukuna engages with Jogo on his terms—fire power. This mirroring is a show of respect and an attempt to learn more about Jogo.
This is the first time we see Sukuna do such a thing. And in return he gains a deeper understanding of Jogo for it while seeing him off into the afterlife.
Another first for Sukuna, he makes a meaningful connection through combat with Jogo who listens to him and accepts him as he is. Sukuna gasses him up while simultaneously putting him down, eventually ending on a genuine compliment, believing Jogo could've become an equal to Gojo Satoru. ...And then that blossoming relationship burns to ash by Sukuna's own hands.
This is where Yuji succeeds and Sukuna fails. Yuji's love builds and Sukuna's love kills.
The main takeaways from Sukuna vs Jogo are:
>Sukuna's facial expressions are a strong indicator of how he feels about someone. (Glaring at Jogo initially when he felt disrespected and then smiling at Jogo when he became interested in him.)
>Sukuna will offer aid to those who don't demand it of him. (Promising to kill all the humans in Shibuya on Jogo's behalf and giving permission for Jogo to boss him around if certain conditions are met.)
>Sukuna holds back during fights with those he wants to understand. (Playing with Jogo and trying to coax him into fighting harder.)
>Sukuna mimics others as a form of respect. (Fire vs fire showdown.)
>Sukuna is interested in the internal logic of his opponents. (Asking why Jogo doesn't use his domain and being intrigued by his attempt to become human.)
Keep all of this in mind as I use these points to revisit Sukuna's biggest missed connection.
Gojo Satoru
Jogo and Gojo as names are interesting in that they're inverses of each other if you go by the hiragana in Japanese. I think this was deliberate. It's not a coincidence that Jogo is someone Sukuna learned he was compatible with through fighting. Nor is it a coincidence Sukuna tried to understand him on his own terms in a way that killed him. This fight winds up being a blueprint for how Sukuna attempts to connect with Gojo Satoru.
The culmination of Sukuna's attempts to understand someone other than himself is Gojo Satoru. A whole 6 months in the making, the effort Sukuna puts towards others doesn't compare. He saw the potential in Megumi and found Mahoraga, blowing up half of Shibuya to tame it. He stole Megumi's body and subjugated his soul to obtain it, using his sister/Yorozu as calibration. And he explicitly states all this was for cutting through Gojo's Infinity.
All this prep work to kill one guy, and his loved ones are tormented for it. Gojo's prized student, Megumi (who Gojo treats like a son) is bathed in curses for days and has his sister murdered by his own CT. Sukuna picked through Megumi's memories as a part of this strategy, which means he has access to these two conversations.
A very selfish dream on Gojo's end, the desire for an equal he saw in Megumi more than any other student. In other words, a little piece of Gojo's internal logic that reveals a path for exploitation. And exploit it Sukuna does, deliberately wearing Megumi's face to mess with other sorcerers.
But that's probably not the whole truth here. Though Kenjaku and Yorozu understand Sukuna to an extent, they don't understand him fully. It's definitely true he used Megumi's face to better subjugate his new vessel and throw off Gojo. And it wouldn't be wrong to assume Sukuna did this out of malice. However...
Without love it cannot be seen gives me a framework to view these actions as something beyond hatred towards Gojo. It allows me to entertain a hypothetical where this a twisted display of affection. But it doesn't give me the evidence for this. So for this dissection, I'm using another important tool from Umineko: "Flipping over the chessboard." This refers to how one should try to see things from a different perspective.
For example, many people interpreted "The one who will teach you about love is..." during their fight being about Gojo trying to teach Sukuna love.
I decided to flip over the chessboard and came to the conclusion: The one who will teach you about love is...Sukuna.
I supported this claim with the conversation where Sukuna teaches love to Kashimo while alluding that Gojo needed teaching. And now I flip over the chessboard again. If Sukuna sees himself as a teacher of love, was Sukuna vs Gojo an attempt at education?
I reread the fight again and found this:
It's very clear that the one being satisfied in this instance is Gojo and by Sukuna. This battle is technically everything Gojo hoped for from Megumi. The potential of the 10 Shadows is maximized, Mahoraga is tamed, and the Infinity Gojo has longed for someone to pierce since Toji is obliterated.
The one satisfying him now is...Sukuna.
The one who will teach you about love is...Sukuna.
The parallel syntax and a definitive answer. I'm more confident that this is how the blank is to be filled. And that's why I don't know how to interpret this fight anymore.
This story repeatedly emphasizes how selfish Sukuna is. It beats you over the head with how self-centered and uncaring his conduct is. So why is it that he has seemingly gone out of his way to satisfy Gojo on his own terms?
There's not enough information. Did Sukuna hold back with Gojo because Megumi was still resisting him, or was it an attempt to mimic Yuji and connect with him? Did he use Megumi's body and face after reading his memories to better torment Gojo or was it give him satisfaction?
So I flip over the chessboard and go back to Jogo.
Gojo didn't ask anything of Sukuna just like Jogo. Neither of them asked to have their strength validated. Sukuna is the one who came after them.
Sukuna expressed his gratitude towards Jogo for wanting nothing of him by helping him with his objective. He killed all humans in the area as he promised and gave Jogo a chance to ask for more. Instead of slaughtering Jogo instantly, Sukuna played around with him while trying to understand him, all smiles, both backhandedly and genuinely complimenting him as he died.
...And it appears that Sukuna has done the same thing for Gojo too.
According to this post 龍鱗 (ryuurin) translates to dragon scales and "describes the basic application of Limitless, a strong defensive barrier like the scales of a dragon." This reference is also Buddhist in nature likening these scales/Gojo to a "dangerous divine power/authority", aka someone more than just a fish.
Now take this hidden meaning and Sukuna's 6 month long obsession with cutting through Infinity. Take how he describes the World Slash as something that reaches its target by making them the center of Sukuna's world. And remember that this solution is a modified Dismantle—the tool which Sukuna uses to connect with and understand others.
Sukuna made Gojo Satoru the center of his world in an attempt to understand him. He cut through Infinity in the exact way Gojo has always wanted to satisfy him. This could be read as flirtation since Sukuna has told Kashimo violence is how he loves. Just as he did with Jogo, Sukuna killed Gojo with his love.
The biggest difference between how Jogo and Gojo are treated is the complete lack of Sukuna in Gojo's afterlife. Jogo let Sukuna in and they bonded in death. Gojo seemingly kept Sukuna out, choosing to be surrounded by those he felt close with as a teenager, and waxed on about how it's hard to be understood. The irony is staggering.
It's possible that Sukuna expected Gojo to let him in during death so he could learn the unspoken secrets of his most favorite plaything. There’s also the possibility Sukuna was privy to Gojo’s afterlife scene and became acutely aware Geto still had Gojo’s heart entirely. (I don't think this the case since Sukuna is bright-eyed and smiling after that sequence.) Either way, Gojo failed to realize Sukuna was trying to reach him and inadvertently rejected him.
I flip over the chessboard again, revisiting Sukuna's lecture on love to Kashimo assuming that Sukuna attempted to teach Gojo love and failed. And now I don't know how to interpret his conversation with Kashimo either.
Is he simply saying love is worthless because all he values is strength? Or is he lamenting that each and every time he has tried to love his heart has been trampled? Could it be both?
Sukuna loves eating and humans are amongst his favorite meals. In that way, he does need someone else to be satisfied. Yet he insists on the contrary all while looking for companionship with anything that moves. Sukuna has gone his entire life not caring for others. But his fights with Jogo and Gojo demonstrate the opposite. Post-Gojo death, his expressions are ones of boredom and he is far more depressed. When his opponents most resemble Gojo, his smile returns.
Sukuna is too much like Gojo here, his 2 birds 1 stone approach to obfuscating his true feelings makes him very hard to read. It really doesn't help that instead of saying "I love you" Sukuna cuts people to pieces with a smile on his face. Forget about the gap moe. Sukuna is the most tsundere of sharks.
Umineko no Naku Koro ni (When the Seagulls Cry) is a visual novel about a person who is fundamentally misunderstood by those around them. They desperately want to be loved without being perceived, believing themself to be unworthy due to trauma and immutable characteristics given to them at birth. Instead of telling anyone these feelings directly, they play games akin to torture. They torment the ones they love over and over in hopes they'll see through their actions and understand them.
The Uncle vs Nephew Problem
What does Sukuna's inability to socialize have to do with Yuji? Well...everything. Remember that similar to Yuji, Sukuna rejected Mahito—the manifestation of the hatred between humans. Symbolically, this suggests Sukuna doesn't hate humans as much as he appears to. And from how he interacts with others, this may be the case.
Sukuna tries to be himself to connect with others and fails miserably. But Yuji? He breathes and makes 10 friends instantly. And even worse, he can fight others to understand them without killing them. Either with words or with fists, Yuji can make the connections using the very tools that isolate Sukuna.
So Sukuna falls back on isolation being strength. It's fine that he's all alone because it's what makes him strong. ...And in complete opposition to that philosophy (which is a huge cope), Yuji grows through his connections with other people.
Isolation vs Cooperation
Yuji is the undisputed king of running duos, in part because he can decenter himself at will to sync up with others. It doesn't matter how well he knows them or how long he's been around them, he will find a a way to be the best support they've ever received.
Sukuna doesn't believe in this kind of cooperation or other people. But he still respects Gojo and Megumi who do, so why does Yuji piss him off? I think it's because Yuji rubs his ability to love and grow from others in Sukuna's face, constantly.
Whether he's trapped in his body or on the receiving end of his friendship beatdowns, Sukuna has been present for each and every bonding moment Yuji has through fighting. Sukuna has an involuntary front row seat to Yuji's defiance of everything he stands for.
He's forced to watch Yuji learn how to Black Flash by cooperating with Todo. And since then, Yuji has learned to proc it with anyone he pairs up with.
Near death and with Nobara? No problem.
Things look hopeless and the shiestiest guy around is barely hanging on to his dead mentor's memento? 2 Black Flashes.
Yuji is even able to sync up with a guy he's never met, whose name he doesn't know to pull off this.
And of course we can't leave out Todo Aoi himself who maximizes Yuji's black flash efficiency.
This shakes Sukuna to the soul because holy fudge, Yuji is starting to become just as strong as him without mercilessly abandoning his humanity.
And that might mean Sukuna was wrong to suffer isolation in the pursuit of strength. That would mean Sukuna endured a lifetime of misunderstanding and loneliness for no greater purpose. In fact, he might be stronger if he had someone else to grow with. Which means he could've had love and strength.
That's a painful reality to confront. It's no wonder most of the black flashes Yuji lands on Sukuna are over his broken heart.
Selfishness vs Selflessness
Earlier I claimed that Sukuna and Todo are the same kind of person. This is because they're both extremely egocentric individuals who categorize people worth their time by boring or interesting. They both hate taking orders from the people they deem boring and go about understanding people through combat. And just about everyone hates them for being this way. The difference between them is Yuji and restraint with their opponents. (Todo doesn't outright kill the boring people, he just beats them half to death. And though he beats up the interesting people too, he allows them to grow for the next time.)
Note how Yuji matches Todo's communication style. He chooses to learn about Todo through combat and their relationship grows along with their strength, all without death. Yuji understands Todo and Todo understands Yuji. This is exactly what Sukuna has been trying to do.
Now Todo sees Yuji as his brother, aka someone with the potential to rise to his level and beyond. He doesn't mind at all that Yuji fights for others and Yuji doesn't mind that Todo fights to stave off boredom. Their relationship shows that someone as selfish and isolated as Todo (aka Sukuna) is capable of coexisting and growing with someone.
Sukuna rejects this on principle, going out of his way to destroy Yuji's bonds and ideals. He mocks his cog mentality and lectures him on this weakness. But like the fraud he is, Sukuna copies Yuji and obtains greater power by becoming obsessed with someone other than himself.
His fight with Gojo and the preparation up to it mirrors everything he hates about Yuji. Sukuna learns all about Gojo Satoru to find a way to kill him. He engages the fight on Gojo's terms and reaches out to satisfy him. And worst of all Sukuna grows through this—he upgrades his CT by making someone else the center of his world.
The fact this happened means Yuji was right about everything, so all Sukuna has left is denial. Yuji is boring, he's a brat, he's weak, he'll never reach his level. Because if he does, well, Sukuna's entire world view falls apart.
We saw this with Higurama and Hakari vs Yuji. Both of them eventually accepted that these differing ideas can exist together. Sukuna can't be like them since he keeps borrowing Yuji's tactics instead of sticking to his own ideas. He's defrauded himself and Yuji has to pay for this.
Rejection vs Acceptance
So that's the rub. Yuji is strong and properly loved through his unwavering good boy energy alone and this breaks Sukuna's brain. It's hard to read this as anything other than jealousy since Sukuna is watching Yuji obtain the things he's been denied using the exact same toolkit. And though Sukuna rejects Yuji for this, Yuji accepts Sukuna for what he is, just as he does everyone else.
All Sukuna has do is accept that Yuji's way of thinking is just as valid as his. But he can't since they're too similar. Yuji's existence forces Sukuna to confront a reality he's not emotionally equipped to handle. Instead of facing these emotional problems head on, he buries them and blames everyone else in a combination of envy and denial.
Deep down Sukuna knows he's in the wrong, otherwise Yuji's punches wouldn't shake his soul.
#cactus yaps#In summary: Yuji and Sukuna's dynamic is peak “pathetic adult has beef with a literal child”.#Yuji is more emotionally mature than his uncle and Sukuna is mad his nephew is better than him at something.#Sukuna also sees everything he could've had in Yuji and can't handle it.#Every time I reevaluate Sukuna's relationship with love I find something new and mind breaking.#I’m never going to stop thinking about Sukuna’s canonical negative rizz.#Once again I'm considering tagging this with the ships Sukugo and possibly Sukujo.#Gojo's pussy haunts the narrative but Jogo has insurmountable rizz.#Why are Sukuna and Gojo so Umineko? Also read Umineko there are cannibal lesbians. (Which is very Sukugo if you ask me.)#asks#ryomen sukuna#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen
134 notes
·
View notes
Text
❤️💛
#soft poolverine my beloved#I contain multitudes as far as trope enjoying goes (Logan likes Wade's yapping AND Logan likes to shut Wade up the old fashioned way)#(aka sticking his tongue down his throat)#(among other things but we're sticking with that for this one lol)#Wade is yapping about something#anything really because he can monologue about anything under the sun#and Logan just reaches over wordlessly and grabs his face and Wade just KEEPS TALKING#and every time Logan comes up for air Wade just starts up again#and Logan just smirks and takes a deep breath and goes back in#he gets some silence for a moment AND gets to feel that endless energy fizzing on his tongue#as Wade focuses his nervous mental energy on exploring Logan's mouth for a bit#you know they are SLOPPY kissers#just drool and teeth and tongues EVERYWHERE#I bet kissing Wade is interesting too because his tongue and lips are all ridged and scarred#anyway I just think Logan would shut him up once in a while for like hours long makeout sessions#and then peacefully go back to listening to him yammer endlessly about the minutiae of the My Little Pony Extended Universe#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#kinda wip?#are any of these ever really FINISHED or do I just give up on them and move on 🫠#also dont get me wrong they def fuck nasty too#but I think Logan “Touch Starved As Fuck” Howlett would really revel in just being able to touch him lazily for hours#idk man I'm too far gone I need to be anaesthetized#deadpool & wolverine#deadclaws#wade wilson#poolverine fanart#deadpool x wolverine
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
I’m kicking my feet and giggling abt it w you btw I’m solidarity
I’m yapping about her over popcorn :3
#I’m going to yap about her a bit now (not too much info cause privacy reasons)#ugh I love her sm!!#at work she once gave me a pinecone I think (idk that was almost a year ago)#we talked on the phone i guess now last weekend for 3 hrs (I want to do it again once I’m not drowning in homework cause it was so fun!!#but I’m also tempted to text her tomorrow asking if she wants to talk again#)#one day I’m gonna go whale watching with her cause we both like whales#she probably doesn’t feel the same but oh well as long as she’s in my life I’ll be happy :]#thank you for letting me yap bestie!!#if you ever want to yap about something I’ll set up a yap sleepover so you can yap about it ;]#mutuals! :)#pizza :3
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nene and girlfriend this time :3 !!
Grhghvhhg the girls... the shawty baes..
(Still more!! Next post is gonna be boyfriend focused [with a little bit of Pico too ^_^] !!)
#fnf#fnf fanart#fnf gf#gf fnf#fnf girlfriend#girlfriend fnf#fnf nene#pico's school nene#why do i always feel so shameful putting tags gang#picos school nene#nene picos school#nene pico's school#pico's school#picos school#doodle#whiteboard fox#wb fox#angelicdonuts#i love u nene.. they coukd never make me hate u nene </3 also i had like the biggest brain blast and it drastically chsnged how i#characterize her. like its genuinely crazy. like to just randomly gain like this unfathomable knowledge that makes you rethink the way you#see a character is honestly indescribable. it genuinely feels like getting your third eye opened or something#funny thing is you can see it in my art of her. like even in the wb doodles ive been posting. which does kinda make me want to tear my hair#out but like!! oh well!! at least she has depth NOW though i wish i cared to look into her before#whats also funny is that once again a ship that involves her is what makes me rethink my understanding of a character#its just that this time it was her lol!! first time was cy btw#thats a story for another time though! i love neeners and i love yapping!!!#ummmmm still havent reached 30 tags but i have no idea what else to talk about#OHHH dont ask about what girlfriend's sitting on dude#shit's tough man#uhhhhhh yeah!!
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling
#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism#some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under#i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever#it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others#and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing#like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks#every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like#one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways#something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out#i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery#poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop#never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on#so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly#and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again#its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much#im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay so my mom gave me the task of carving a pumpkin this year and i was like "oooh im making a gothic castle and vampires" and she was like "fine whatever-
*vine boom*
I..may have over did it? BUT- BUT IT HAS SARAH
And after the worst mental breakdown and meltdown i had in months, i added in the count too :D
Hes waiting for her <3
Apparently even though i started a blog about tdv so i bother them less with it, i still talk "too much" about it :)
But like..this is a fucking masterpiece and it only took me 1,5 hours!
The castle was inspired by the one in the og hungarian poster
So like Happy Halloween!!!
We watched The green mile as a horror film (realised later on that it was never marked as a horror film and it was soulcrushing but great watch, i recommend it to everyone!)
Yeah so i remembered this and honestly me and Koukol (?) twinning
#this pumpkin is what i call an autism diagnosis#im still super proud of this#even if it costed my mental sanity ihihi#i just remembered a tdv fanart and istg one of them carved a pumpkin like this#im gonna find it and put it in the post lol#anyways#alfred tanz der vampire#tanz der vampire#tdv#count von krolock#herbert von krolock#vámpírok bálja#tanz der vampire alfred#graf von krolock#professor abronsius#me yapping once again about something#art#pumkin carving#halloween#happy halloweeeeeeen
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:
Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#lok malina#still feel like that’s too vague of a tag but I can’t come up with anything better for now#and yeah. she has completely stolen by heart and I don’t know how to feel about that#don’t think I ever was this attracted to my own art before#to be fair the design isn’t mine. it’s very heavily based on something nina drew back in 2021#because I did not have the energy or creativity to come up with my own thing#but the art is all mine and I genuinely adore it. super proud of myself which is a rare occurrence#anyways. kat and I spent three days digging this niche lower and lower and now have a he#*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character#for lore about a lady from the North Pole a lot of it is rather hot… to the point my cheeks are burning non stop#I would say I’d let her do anything she wants to me but in my very specific aroace-adjacent case it’s more like#I’d let her tell me to do anything she wants to her#if that makes any sense and I have not completely lost my goddamn mind yet#okay. enough yapping. back to the art itself#lazy background because I suck at those and am not currently attempting to learn them. I’ll probably do that over the summer#about time anyway. my characters have been placed against an off-white background for far. far too long#this is the first piece in just over a year that isn’t tagged with sotrl. which is kinda weird tbh#I’ve been drawing my OCs almost exclusively for nearly 5 years so it is genuinely surprise I’m branching out#*surprising#less branching out and more diving from one hole into another but y’know#anyway. in my personal and very correct opinion she turned out absolutely gorgeous#her servants are way too lucky and unalaq is way too much of an idiot. no offence to vaatu but he could never beat out this#and I also have Kat’s personal and very correct opinion to back up my own. two against the void. once again we’re winning#I wanna draw her a lot more bc she has completely possessed my brain. I just wish character interactions were easier to draw 😭#I’ll figure it out. just need to fight my visualisation issues for a proper idea. brb#okay I’m almost at the tag limit so. in summary:#she 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i keep constructing elaborate political speeches in my mind. as if somehow if i could just talk to pvv-voters compellingly enough, explain to all of em why this is moronic on every level, they'd all suddenly find out that they're actually leftists at heart who just heard a few facts wrong
#as if the racism is an accident instead of the driving force#i spent too long looking at twitter replies and there are a lot of people who voted for wilders so obviously a lot of different types too#theres the naive ones who genuinely seem to regard politics as kind of a game thats being played to the sidelines#you cheer for your team but it doesn't ACTUALLY have an effect on reality. So stop complaining! cheer up!#theres the dumb ones who 'just wanted something different' and who thought 'well the Left screwed things up'#- weve had a centrist/right government for over a decade -#'so lets try the right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯'#and then theres just the unapologetically islamophobic who DEFINITELY are NOT racist~#they júst want all brown people to go back to 'their own' country#and if you call thát racist! well then! you are protecting the fundamental rights of muslims right to religion so obviously you also suppor#extremist governments in the middle east! and those are also discriminatory! which somehow makes the pvv nót discriminatory even though#they're drawing a direct comparison between themselves and these extremist governments! so there!#... anyways#very very very minor point but this also once again strengthens my resolve to not reblog or dive into every terrible news story from#usamerican politics despite how guilt-trippy posts about them get;#cause the only people on tumblr ive seen reblog aaanything at all about these results are dutch themselves#ik its not like we have a similar influence to the entire usa at all. but neither does random kentucky county elected official number 9 and#i still hear about them all the time#it makes sense for the circles im in dont get me wrong. just annoying.#joos yaps#delete later
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to throw my hat into the discourse, but all this anti-doctor/therapist stuff i'm seeing around at the moment is genuinely a bit terrifying and also feels like a dangerous line of thinking
i saw some tags on a post recently saying that the poster would not go to the doctors even if they were severely ill, and would rather chance it being cared for by their own community
and i'm sorry but. this is anti-vaxxer logic, this is the same talk those culty essential oils mums spout
medical care systems are flawed around the world, yes, and they need to be reformed, yes. but i don't think this "all doctors/therapists are just like cops" narrative is a good one or even useful
demand better, but don't reinforce the all medical care is bad narrative, because you are shooting yourself in the foot and are like 2 steps away from cult thinking
#embers-hoots#okay maybe im admittedly sensitive to this#but its like. all it takes is one massive heart attack and suddenly medical care is crucial#and i don't think '''community support''' is going to keep you alive in a situation like that#we haven't even got community care like that- as much as i think community building is important#i really don't think we should bank on something that isn't there yet nor has the organisation#like i don't think anyones neighbour has radiotherapy avalible in their garage#idk im rambling. just worries me.#had someone much much younger than me once point out my 'save our nhs' pin once and go#'why? i hate the nhs. they do nothing right'#and it fucking scared me!!!! like!!!! this is the same shit right wingers say to promote privatising the nhs#and before anyone says anything. ive been burned time and time again by nhs care and therapists in the past#im not talking from a point where i don't get the exasperation#but it is DANGEROUS to go down the path of saying 'fuck all doctors! adab!' instead of#'hey fund our nhs! demand better! support the strikes!'#i just. whats happening. leftist spaces are shooting themselves in the foot nonstop and getting so toxic#build that community you keep yapping about instead of assuming it already is built#and for the love of god.#demand better care and pay for doctors and funding and reform and. ugh just fight for a better world instead of doomerposting
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmmm getting in my head a little bit about some issues i'm already seeing in my first draft that ik i'll need to confront in my second draft. but i genuinely just have to be like *sprays my overcritical mind w a spray bottle* no!!!!! let me finish the first draft first!!!!!!
#she bork#idk i think i'm getting ahead of myself bc again. work that is this consistent and like structurally solid is new and scary to me bc like#the greater the potential for a payoff the greater the potential for a fumble. the stakes are higher. while never being able to finish#anything was torturous in its own way it was easy in the sense that i never had to confront the idea of like 'what if i finish it and polish#the fuck out of it to the absolute furthest extent of my experience and ability . .. and it's still not good enough.' it was always just#like 'aw shucks! i've run out of steam once again. if only i could see something through to the end i could write the next great american#novel i just know it :/ ah well. try again next week!' but now nothing is in my way whatsoever so i'm like aw fuck that is so scary like if#nothing comes of this project it will be My Fault. also sorry this is all i have spoken about on here for like a month but i'm STILL not#done yapping about it and you all are my captive audience and WILL be forced to listen to each and every thought i have about this wip.#sorry but too bad#anyway once again offering that if anyone is curious about this wip i am open to questions or discussion. one thing about me (which i'm sure#y'all know by now) is that i LOVE. to yap#novel 2024
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I wonder if I'm asking too much to just have a thought spared about me.
Stop trauma dumping on me and expecting me to magic responses you'll like out of thin air. When I don't, you get upset. Do you not think it's inappropriate to dump something on me during my work shift when you know i have my own baggage too?
Do you seriously not see my point about centring things around yourself? Can you not take a second to see where I'm coming from instead of deflecting it and making it about you again?
And your friends. I despise the lot of them. And I can tell you for a fact, by the way they talk about me, the feeling is mutual.
#they yap so much. makes me wonder if they'd be so bold to say it if I was stood in front of them... wild guess but probably not#they yap so much she can't not victimise herself for once.#it's always about you... and I'm tired of it#you don't even think about how i feel sometimes. like when i told you I'd failed that time. and you were the only one i told#and you knew that. but told a whole group chat it as a joke. a fucking throw away joke.#I've tried to speak out about things like you asked me to. apparently i shut you out too much. you didn't know what you did wrong.#apparently#so i speak out and you make me the problem and get defensive?#and you think I'd share my trauma with someone who does that?#apparently that's my problem too. i never share my baggage. maybe because i don't want to? ever thought that?#ever considered why i might not want to?#even in that situation. it becomes about you again. not about me. how can you make someone else's trauma about you? well. you manage.#vent#and i despise her friends so much. you don't understand#something is so intensely off woth them. immediately. gut feeling.#my gut feeling has always been right.
1 note
·
View note
Text
who to call to clean up after an "accident" than your sick and twisted military boyfriend? :D (dark!ghost x dark!fem!reader, 18+)
cw: dark!reader, dark!simon, horror movie vibes, graphic depictions of character death/murder, unhealthy relationship dynamics, one slip of daddy, smut, unprotected piv, simon "spit in my mouth" riley, reader and simon are kinda psycho :D
you've been so nice to her. really nice. you've let it slide off your back whenever she doesn't do her dishes. you pretend you don't notice when she borrows your shoes from the hallway and wears them out to dinner. you hide yourself in your room when she has her awful, loud guests over, and you have never once said anything about how she takes her sweet time in the shared bathroom in the morning and makes you late 2 days a week for work.
but this? this?
she needs to keep simon's name out of her fucking mouth.
"excuse me?" you say finally. your roommate is shrugging on her jacket to leave, her purse in her hand as she types on her phone, using it as a way to not make eye-contact with you. her long nails are tapping against the screen, and it feels like fucking drip water torture. "what the fuck did you just say?"
she sighs, irritated, rolling her eyes as she keeps tapping away at the screen.
"you're so dramatic, it was just a fucking joke."
"you know, i let a lot of things slide," you laugh, humorlessly, and you cross your arms over your chest as you follow her into the kitchen. "but you need to be careful what you say."
"i don't do anything except call it like i see it," she says, tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking at herself in the reflection of the mirror hanging on the wall. "you need to just...go out more. man like that isn't gonna stay for long if you don't give him something to go for. he's bored, you know. when you have him over here all the time. and i've totally caught him peeking at me after i shower, y'know."
"well why the fuck are you wearing nothing but a towel when my boyfriend is here, anyways?" you snap. "he's trying to be polite, he's a guest. what if i wore a fucking towel when you had your guy friends over?"
she laughs, poking at the edge of her lip to fix the gloss of her pout. "trust me, honey, no one's looking at you in a towel."
you step back, a little shocked. she rolls her eyes again, sighing.
"i didn't--"
"are you kidding me?" you retort. "you're the worst fucking roommate in the world, and i put up with all your bullshit, and now you're going to go so low as to insult the way i look just to make yourself feel better?" you make your way around the kitchen island. "you don't wash your fucking dishes, you steal my fucking clothes, you're always late on your rent so i have to spot you--"
"you know what, just because i'm fucking happy, and you're not, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!"
"i am happy, you sorry bitch!" you cry. "i'm so fucking happy, you're the only thing in my life making me constantly miserable!"
"oh, shove it up your ass, you ungrateful little shit!" she snaps. "you're just so fucking insecure and hate me so badly just because simon would rather fuck a girl like me than have to spend another minute with--"
the crack of cast iron against her head shuts her up. it dents the side of her head easily, and her face smacks against the countertop before she crumples to the floor.
it's so fast. one minute, she's yapping, high-pitched voice straining your ears. the next, she's silent.
and she won't say simon's fucking name again.
you watch with bated breath as she folds into herself, her head hitting the hardwood last, a slow puddle of blood beginning to grow under the tendrils of her hair as your eyes move to the heavy pan you're still holding in your hands.
fuck, that's a lot of blood. god, you thought she was just full of fucking air.
you drop the pan once the rush of anger leaves your chest. it thunks onto the ground, and your hands shake as you see the specks of blood that are on the back of your hands, sprinkled over the shirt you wear. it stains your bare legs, even your toes, and you don't even want to look at the spray of it along the counters.
you should be crying, you think. you should feel bad. you're trembling a little, but you think it's just the adrenaline beginning to fade and not the guilt you know is supposed to be racking your insides.
you turn your eyes back to her. her eyes are dull. she doesn't move. it's so quiet now, utterly silent, and you take a deep breath as you take in the silence that you've craved for a long while now. you make your way quietly out of the kitchen, stepping over her body before going for your phone that sits on the coffee table in front of the couch.
you keep your eyes on her as you put your phone to your ear. it rings, and you tilt your head to the side as the blood begins to spiderweb under the kitchen table.
"'ello?"
you blink, looking towards the door. you clutch your phone a little tighter to your ear.
"simon?" you say softly. "a-are...are you busy?"
he hums lowly, chuckling, "no' at the moment, swee'eart, why?" he asks. "mmm...missed y'r voice..." you close your eyes as you hear the buckle of his belt. you try not to picture your giant of a boyfriend leaning back on his worn couch and shoving his jeans low enough to fuck his fist. "tolk t'me, luv...tell me 'ow much ya miss daddy."
you clear your throat gently, willing yourself to ignore the soft squelch of what you know is his hand around his cock, to not let it distract you from what's more important. "uhm...i liked the flowers you gave me, simon. t-they were beautiful."
the sounds on the other end of the phone quiet. you hear shuffling, and then a few moments later, the clink of his car keys.
"tha' right, baby?" he asks, and you close your eyes as you hear the front door of his flat opening. he's already on the way, already coming.
"yeah," you sniffle. "really nice sunflowers."
a yellow flower. he huffs on the other end of the phone, breathing a little easier.
"good girl," he murmurs, and then the line cuts. you set the phone down, making your way back to the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. you watch as the blood continues to curl over the floor. you make no attempt to help her; you just swing your feet under you as you look at her spoiled outfit, just grateful she isn't wearing your shoes or one of your jackets. you would hate to have to throw something out that she got all dirty.
there's a curt knock at the door ten minutes later, and then it opens. simon shuts the door behind him, cracking his neck by moving it from side to side before narrowing his eyes at you. you bite your lip, blinking, forgetting suddenly why he is here when he looks so fucking good. he's got a sweatshirt on under his windbreaker, worn jeans tucked into his boots; you like these jeans, his ass looks incredible in them.
"wot happened?" he asks. you stand, remembering your place. your lip starts trembling, and simon's eyes soften just a little. he's wearing his balaclava, hood up over his head and jacket zipped up, shadowing any true expression on his face. his gait sounds heavy as he lets his hands out of his pockets, coming towards you. when he steps into the kitchen, his eyes dart towards your roommate who's still on the floor, laid out unnaturally just by the oven.
he lets out a low breath, clicking his tongue under the mask. you hold your breath as you wait for his reaction.
"bloody hell," simon mutters, reaching up and throwing his hood off. you wring your hands together nervously, your eyes beginning to sting with tears. you brace for the accusations, for the inevitable terror of facing the music. simon is military, for fuck's sake, why the fuck did you think turning to him would be a good idea?
"i...i-i--" you start, looking up at him, and he holds up a hand, taking the side of your face into his palm before smoothing a gloved thumb over your bottom lip. you blink in confusion, not understanding.
"'s olright, baby," he shushes you, shaking his head. "don't cry."
"simon, i--" you sputter a little, gripping his wrist gently. "i just--i couldn't do it anymore, she just--"
he pities you. maybe you can explain. maybe if you tell him a warped story of what happened, he can help you. he must know someone. he must have important friends, he must--
he uses his free hand to move his mask up over his nose, and you lean into him when he bends, kissing you warmly. your eyes flutter shut, and you shuffle closer as he kisses you sloppy, kisses you hot. you mewl as he slips his tongue into your mouth, licking over your teeth and humming low as he pulls away. his eyes are flashing.
mmm. love.
"hmm..." simon licks his lips, smiling a little. he looks over you, almost pensive, his eyes scanning over your face before he settles back on your eyes. it's tender, the way he looks at you. romantic. "let's get this off of ya."
he reaches for the large shirt you are wearing, pulling it up and over your head. he crumples it into a ball before tossing it on top of your roommate, nodding his head behind you.
it's then that you realize simon isn't going to do the noble thing. he isn't going to call the police. he isn't going to turn you in, make you explain, he seems uninterested in knowing what really happened. no, he already knows what happened. but that's not important.
his pretty, perfect girl got into a little trouble. and he's going to make this go away.
"go on, luv. take a nice shower, yeah?" simon turns you around and pushes on your back gently. you suck in a shaky breath when he fondles your ass, pulling on your panties gently. "mmm...take these off, too."
you slip your panties down your legs, handing them to him.
"they have blood on them, too?" you ask, wiping your face, and he chuckles lowly.
"nah," he shrugs, stuffing them into his back pocket after taking a little sniff. "these are just for me."
jesus fucking christ, there's really something wrong with him. there's something really, really wrong with him.
and something wrong with me.
simon looks you up and down, his eyes catching on your naked body for just a few moments before he nods his head again.
"go on," he tells you. "before i get distracted." you pause for a moment, tilting your head back a little as he reaches out and cups one of your breasts in his big hand. you bite your lip, swallowing back a heavy breath as he flicks his thumb over your nipple gently. "greatest tits 've ever seen," he mumbles, scrunching his nose under the mask before he lets you go. "yeah, go on, baby." it takes everything in you to walk away when you see him reach down with that same hand and grip his bulge through his jeans, adjusting himself as he turns back to the mess in the kitchen.
when you shut the bathroom door behind you, you hear shuffling in the living room. the coffee table scraping. the couch being pushed. the rustle of the rug you have there. he grunts a little, and you hear his boots track from the kitchen back to the living room.
you turn the water on hot. you decide to take a bath, not looking at yourself in the mirror as you sink into the tub and plug the drain. you make the water scalding, and it soothes your sore muscles as you rest your cheek against the edge of the tub and stare at the door.
you're not sure how long you stay there. long enough for the water to nearly slosh over the edge of the tub and for simon to swing the bathroom door open, seemingly done with his...tasks.
he's taken his sweatshirt off. just a black t-shirt tucked into jeans, and there's a slight pant to his breaths that tell you he's exerted some energy. you notice he has his gloves still on, but before he touches you, he takes them off and tosses them into the sink.
"move over," simon mutters, starting to undress. you look up at him as he undoes the button on his pants, shucking his shirt off and into the corner before dropping his jeans. the water swishes as you sit up, and you swallow hard when simon kicks his boots and pants off, his cock hanging heavy as his mask is the last to hit the floor.
fuck, he's so pretty.
he has no regard for his size. he simply steps into the tub behind you, taking a seat. he looks comically large in your small bathtub, and you squeak a little as the water spills over the edge of the bath and wets the floor. he hums as he feels the hot water on his back. you don't say anything as his hands start to turn the water a little red. you just look up, away, at him.
you shuffle between his legs, tucking yourself into his space. you can't help but look him up and down, admiring his naked physique. he's just hot. big arms, thick thighs, sunburnt tattoos and scars cutting across his face. he hasn't shaved today, so there's some stubble along his jaw, but your eyes focus a little too much on his girthy length, heavy as it sits on his stomach and leaks a little there. his fat stomach, all solid and pudgy, such a nice place for you to rest your hands.
"you did good today," simon says finally. you look at him, and he tilts his head to the side. his approval makes your chest warm. "callin' me like tha'. wot a good girl you are."
keeping quiet on the phone is what he doesn't add out loud.
you purse your lips, trying not to keen at the praise, but it's hard not to when he reaches over and slides his hand over your shoulder, thumbing at your jaw.
"i-i didn't...didn't know what to do," you admit, and he clicks his tongue, shaking his head. you didn't know what to do, so you called him. level-headed enough to not do something rash and call someone else, no, you called him.
"mmm...tha's wot i'm 'ere for, luv," simon soothes you. "made such a little mess..."
you close your eyes. it's sick. deranged. fuck, it feels nice.
why don't i feel anything?
"i know. i'm sorry."
"nothin' ta be sorry about."
you slump into his arms, resting your cheek on his solid chest. you can feel his cock pulsing against your tummy, and you adjust yourself in the water, straddling him as you rest your chin on his pecs and look up at him through watery eyes.
you aren't sad. no. not sad at all. simon has shown you what he will do for the you. the lengths he will go. what he'll forgive just to take care of you. he's so capable, so understanding.
sick. twisted. mine.
"then i'll just say thank you," you mumble, grinding your hips slowly. simon hums, a wicked smile coming over his scarred face. he licks over his bottom lip, big hands gripping you by the fat of your hips as you grip the edges of the tub for stability. "say thank you to my big, strong man for taking such good care of me..."
he chuckles, his eyes lowering, watching your tits sway as you fit your pussy over his length and grind down on him.
"tha' so, baby?"
you nod.
"mhm," you whine. "how can i thank you, my big boy? how can i show you how grateful i am for cleaning up after me, hmm?" you bend at the waist, kissing him wet and warm, and he hisses as you suck his tongue into your mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, and normally you would curse him for it, but right now it tastes so much like him, and you lick around his teeth trying to taste more of that sweet nicotine.
"fuck--such a naughty little girl..." he snickers, reaching down. you sigh when he slides his big palms over your ass, forcing you to grind slower, the tip of his cock sliding through your folds leisurely. you grip the edges of the tub tighter, pressing down to give you more leverage to grind down harder. "make such a mess, oll the time..." you gasp when he presses into you just enough, the tip breaching your entrance and forcing you to squeeze around him, your cunt trying to suck him in. "olways needin' me ta pick up afta ya..."
you giggle, sliding your hands up his chest, gripping his shoulders for leverage as you sink down onto him. he grits his teeth as you do, his eyes focused on the way his cock disappears inch by inch until you're seated down in his lap, his length kissing deep and twitching excitedly. he always feels like a teenager again whenever you fuck--like you're the first pretty girl to ever wet his cock.
you cup his cheeks finally, smoothing your thumbs under his eyes as you bring his gaze up to meet yours. you swallow hard, looking down at him.
"i-i love you, simon," you breathe. he stills underneath you, his jaw clenching as he frowns just a little. you come a little closer, nuzzling your nose against his, your thumb falling to trace the outline of his torn lip. "i should've said it a long time ago...i-i..."
"heart's beatin' out y'r chest, luv," he mutters lowly. "'s olright...'m not goin' anywhere."
it's so disgusting. you should be fucking ill. you should be scrambling to the toilet, your breakfast halfway up your throat. you should be crying, emotional, begging simon to tell the cops that it was all your fault, because it is. he should've come here and made you do the level-headed thing and confess your terrible crime.
he shouldn't be here, sitting underneath you in your tub, cock-deep inside of you after helping you commit murder and then fucking clean it all up.
"what did i do?" you gasp, sitting up. you move to get out of the tub, but simon growls, putting two firm hands on your ass and shoving you back down on his cock, making you cry. "w-what did i do? s-simon, why don't i feel bad, why am i not sorry--?!"
simon tsks, feigning comfort. he juts his bottom lip out into a pout, mocking your little cries.
"oh, luvvie, don't start cryin' now," he chuckles. "don't start pretending like y'care."
uhm...
"simon--"
"no one likes a liar."
you're still trying to pretend, and he knows this. you're still trying to act how someone normally would react. someone normal, someone who thinks rationally, would never have picked up the pan in the first place. and even if they had, they would've scrambled, cried, picked up the phone and confessed, called an ambulance as they tried to get her to start breathing again, put both hands on her chest and tried to get her wake up.
but you didn't. you watched, unnervingly calm, as she stained the hardwood with her blood. you watched as her eyes glassed over, lifeless, and you watched as her insides began to paint the floor in abstract shapes as you gave it time to spread. and not once during that time, or waiting for simon, did you think to help her.
you didn't want to help her. and you certainly didn't think she deserved to get back up. maybe she hadn't done anything quite harsh enough to deserve death in someone else's eyes. annoying, overbearing, rude.
but it's hard to feel bad when she talked about simon. when she called him by his name. when you've seen her let her towel slip when he's in her vicinity, trying to coax him into her room when you're looking away.
you should've taken one of the throwing knives that simon hides in his boot and thrown it at her then, just for that.
"we're cut from the same bloody cloth, baby," simon says, almost accusingly. you grip the edges of the tub, trying to stand again, but he cants his hips and fucks up into you, drawing a frenzied moan out of you. you reach for his shoulders as he does it again, his tongue darting out before he licks a fat stripe over your pebbled nipple. "'s olright. 's okay, luv. don't worry. don't hafta get y'r hands dirty, swee'eart, i've got it."
"but simon," you whine, but all he does is shake his head. you don't have to put on this morality act for him. you don't have to pretend that you are sorry for something that you had every right to do, you don't have to explain to him why you aren't feeling the way you should be feeling.
simon doesn't care about how you should feel. he only cares about how you actually feel.
"she was in y'r way," simon grunts. "always bein' a bloody brat." he fists your hair and brings your mouth to his, groaning as you tighten around his cock. "'ow many times did she fuck ya over, baby, hmm? 'ow many times did she steal y'r fuckin' things, come outta the loo wearin' nothin' but her fuckin' knickers, yeah? 'ow many times?"
you kiss him, frantic, digging your nails into his pecs and dragging them angrily.
yeah. fuck her. fuck what she did to me, fuck the way she behaved, fuck her stupid face and her stupid attitude and her stupid little games.
"called ya names..." he's hitting your sweet spot now, making you cry from pleasure. your pussy feels so hot, squeezing him because you know he's right, and the way he fucks this time makes you think he really knows what you are and knows exactly how to get you there. "wot a fuckin' twat. deserved every bit o' it, baby."
you meet his eyes, dark and cruel. he's still moving, still holding onto your hips and drawing out little whines, but it's different suddenly, it's more. you nod, understanding.
simon is terrible. no good. his head isn't in the right place, maybe it never has been. you wonder, briefly, if this is what he does when he's at work, if these are the things that he's used to. maybe simon has been in service too long--maybe he doesn't understand that you aren't at war here, that you can't just kill and clean up, that you aren't in the field.
"she deserved it," you whimper, and he grins, all teeth, all mean.
"tha's it."
"she was such a bitch."
"fuckin' right."
"she got what was coming for her."
"nnghhh--fuck, baby, gonna make me fuckin' cum, tolkin' like tha'," he hisses. you practically smack him as you grab onto his scarred face, gritting your teeth as you glare down at him. his lips part, and you spit in his mouth as he fucks up into you, thighs hitting your ass with a wet smack that makes your head spin.
"and i'll get rid of the next bitch that so much as looks your way, simon."
the kiss is searing. hot, blinding, white noise fills your ears as he cums with you, stuffing you full as he cums hard, a pained groan leaving him as he collapses against the porcelain tub with a harsh thud. you follow him, chasing after him, kissing him between heavy breaths as you don't make any effort to move off of him. when simon opens his eyes, he can't help but smile.
he's never seen his reflection without a mirror.
#awwwwwwwwww thanks for taking care of me pookie#thanks for indulging my terrible mind and telling me its okay ;)#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!ghost#dark!simon
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
younger gf reader joining the sturniolos vid and Chris and reader are caught in the back kissing
getting caught.
Y/N never felt too much comfortable being in her boyfriend's youtube videos, but she agreed after they beg her for hours. So, they got in the car, brought some junk food and parked at a parking lot for recording.
Chris switched his place with Nick, knowing his girlfriend would be more comfortable with him, but Chris' brothers made them promise they would behave, this means that they could not do any hard PDA. Y/N and Chris agreed laughing.
Matt started the camera, Chris introduced Y/N as his girlfriend. They decided to do "Childhood Stories" as a topic, so Chris, Matt and Nick started to yap about their childhood stories together, which Y/N laughed all the time.
During the video, Chris kept his arm around Y/N's shoulders. He gave some kisses on her hair, pulling his girl closer. At some point, Matt and Nick started to argue about something that Y/N and Chris wasn't paying attention, because they were too focus on each other.
"Your brothers said no PDA, Chris." Y/N whispered as Chris lean himself to kiss her jaw, her lips slowly leaning upward. "Baby, stop it." She giggled, Chris was kissing her neck shameless, he wasn't caring if the camera was catching them.
"You know I can't handle when you're with me, doll." Chris whispered, smirking. He looked at his brothers on the front seats, arguing without looking at them at the backseat. So, Chris held Y/N chin and smash their lips together.
Y/N widened her eyes at start, Chris was fucking kissing her in the front of camera. But this didn't stop her from kissing him back. Y/N caressing his neck, curling her fingers on his curly hair, pulling lightly. They're trying to not be loud, but the kiss was sloppily and making wet noises.
"I can't believe they're fucking kissing!" Nick said — he screamed — once he realized Y/N and Chris were kissing at the backseat. "How desperately you are that can't be without kissing for an hour?"
"You're gross, bro." Matt said, hitting Chris back. "Y/N, you said you behave!"
"I tried it! He kissed me." Y/N defended herself, Chris tickled her waist. "Dude, stop it!" She said laughing.
"I kissed you and you kissed me back, don't blame only me." Chris said, kissing her cheek. "And don't call me dude."
"No more kisses on the back, please lord." Nick groans.
Of course they kissed again when Matt and Nick got distracted.
bro's so in love that can't keep his hands to himself
Tags: @lizzymacdonald06 @deliciousluminaryanchor @lushjunkie @sweetreliever @watercolorskyy @ivysturnss @brianna-grace12 @blahbel668 @gabri3la-sturns @strnlxlqve @stvrnzcherries
join my taglist!
#chrisbesitos 𝜗ৎ#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#chris x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo triplets x reader#꒰ older.ᐟchris ꒱#꒰ younger.ᐟreader ꒱
1K notes
·
View notes