#me wonders what that's all about but this isnt the time to dig through my issues lmfao

[autisticlalna]

"You Were Right" (and a behind the scenes on how we got here)

initially i was gonna make a post going over all of Anathra's lore so far but then i realized i do not quite have the spoons for it, and also i'd like to break it up into easier to cover parts anyway. so let's jump straight into the most recent mystery!

i've already talked before about the hidden messages in Rubyco's videos, and about the split-second easter eggs in Viking's. encrypted messages aren't exactly new to Skyblock Kingdoms.

but, okay, let's rewind a little. it's 1 am, a couple days before Anathra's episode 8 premieres. i'm winding down for bed, see the premiere on my homepage, and go: hey! i wonder what Anathra's doing next episode!

hey what the fuck is that. why is there elder furthark

a bit of backstory on me: i love translating things. you probably know this by now. i also knew a guy who was big into norse mythology stuff, and that included him knowing elder furthark. so i immediately peg that as "oh, shit, that's elder furthark" and track down a translation tool.

("why are you going into backstory" we'll get to that. lol lmao.)

anyway, its 1 am, i run it through the first tool i find, and get:

someþiŋ ' weird ' happened

...or "something weird happened".

COOL. THAT'S OMINOUS.

i go to bed. when i wake up, Moxi has shared something from Anathra's discord:

...but i can't figure out what it translates to.

timeskip to the premiere.

Anathra gets a delivery from the End Kingdom after helping Josh out with villager stuff. he goes to place the shulker down, it's suddenly nighttime, and...

hey, what

iou were right

...okay, here's where we loop back to that backstory bit, and also i pull back the curtain to showcase how hilariously bad this went for the dnerds.

i recognized the alphabet as elder furthark

(and yet my dyslexic ass doesnt realize theres two rs in it until now. it has been 5 years.)

trying to translate the box name gave me gibberish ("io nht tuil")

i also knew from the "something weird happened" message that elder furthark isnt 1:1 with the english alphabet

oops there are two translator tools. oops they use different runes for "y"

due to [gestures at cherry and doak], there is a minor scuffle about if it says "you" or if it actually IS supposed to say "iou"

we still cant translate the box

still cant translate the discord message either. this is about to be really funny

people in the sbkcd are also translating it, so we compare notes

anathra steps in to save us:

THANK YOU ANATHRA <3

i am immediately embarrassed because, oops, turns out Angerthas (dwarven runs from Lord of the Rings) has alphabet overlap with elder furthark, so that's where the confusion came from. seeing as it's a post-filming decision, that does mean that the episode description and chat message were translated correctly, but the box is in Angerthas and, despite having the same runes, they do not correspond to the same english letters.

i spend a bit alternating between bonking myself for my mistake and bonking my very tired head against Angerthas for a bit until WhiteQry suggests that maybe what Anathra said in chat is the same thing. later, Aquelon is able to translate it as "IU WER RAIT". or,

YOU WERE RIGHT

...right about what?

skipping back to the events of the episode: Anathra realizes that he's lost time. he says he's only felt this "once before", doesn't know what the writing is, and is generally thrown off by... whatever just happened.

i need to rewatch Anathra's pov before i can dig into what i think the message means-- my initial guess is that it has something to do with his ?nightmare? from episode 5, although im not sure past that. considering his pov plays with the concept of the fourth wall a bit as-is, the message also might not be for Anathra (and he can't read it with glasses on either way).

Anathra's in the middle of something. there's a lot going on with him, inside and outside, and i really want to do more overviews of his lore because it's very fun. until then, keep an eye out for more strange messages i guess.

-

"hey leo you didn't translate the furthark in the 'glasses off' message, what gives" WELL, YOU SEE. I WAS TOO BUSY BEING EMBARRASSED AT THE TIME TO PROCESS IT. AND IT WASNT UNTIL WRITING THIS POST AND GETTING THAT SCREENSHOT THAT I SAW IT AND WENT "wait. hold on" AND RAN IT THROUGH THE TRANSLATOR.

AND THEN REALIZED, AFTER FOUR DAYS, THAT ITS THE URL OF THE SITE IM USING TO TRANSLATE THIS AND IT JUST GOT KINDA MANGLED BECAUSE OF THE "NOT 1:1 WITH ENGLISH ALPHABET" THING.

im in hysterics. how did this happen. please dont ever think im professional. all of these super cool in-depth explainer posts are the end result of so much clownery but i needed to show you guys just how much of a MESS this is lmao

[bridgyrose]

“You cant keep letting people take advantage of you!”

Summer rolled her eyes and let out a sigh as she felt Raven grip her shoulder. “They’re not taking advantage of me, Rae. Its my choice to help people whether they really need the help or not.” 

“I still think you need to make boundaries on helping others,” Raven said. “We cant keep deviating from our mission every time someone asks for help.” 

“And when did the mission ever matter to you?” Summer asked with a smirk. “Unless… you’re finally going soft.” 

“I’m not soft, I care about getting paid. And the sooner we get this mission done, the sooner we get paid.” 

Summer grinned as she poked Raven’s shoulder. “That cant be the *only* reason you’re on this mission. Three years ago I was practically dragging you to make sure you went on missions to keep your license active, and now you’re coming with me on missions on your own and even focused on making sure we get them done. So tell me, what’s got you wanting to get this done?” 

“Its not like that.” 

“Then what is it?” 

“I just think you need to be more careful about who you help and when you do. That’s all.” 

Summer shook her head and continued walking through the Mantle streets as she looked around at the people that roamed the streets. It was easy to tell that most of them were faunus who were down on their luck or had nowhere else to go, so it didnt bother her much if she stopped to help those that asked for it. That was part of being a huntress. “Does it really matter who we help out?” 

“We shouldn’t help others if we arent getting paid,” Raven said plainly. “What’s the point if we dont get anything out of it?” 

“Just because we dont get paid for every little good deed doesnt mean we arent getting anything out of it. Helping others is its own reward.” 

“Not a tangible one,” Raven huffed. 

Summer frowned and quickly pulled Raven by her arm. “Alright, that’s it. *You* need to learn to relax.” 

“Summer-” 

“No ‘Summer’ me. We are going to do our mission and help at least twenty people before we are done so you can finally feel a bit of warmth in that cold heart of yours.” 

“My heart isnt that cold!” 

Summer dragged Raven down the road and towards the crater of Mantle, certain they’d find people there who could use help. Sure it was selfish to look for people who needed help just to prove a point, but as long as those who needed help received it then it didnt really matter why she was helping, right? 

A smile crossed her lips as she came across a woman and her child standing next to a barrel trying to keep warm next to the flames that came from it. “Look, there’s a couple people here who could use our assistance.” 

Raven pulled herself out of Summer’s grip. “And how do you know they need help? Maybe they have everything under control.” 

“Because everyone needs help at some point,” Summer said through her teeth as she walked over to the mother and child. She kept a friendly smile on her lips as she reached out to the mother. “I'm Summer and this is my partner Raven. We were wondering if you needed any help.” 

“Oh, we… we could… maybe use some food,” the mother said. “A-and a couple coats.” 

Summer nodded and sat down her back to dig through her rations to find some that would be filling enough for the mother and her child. “I’m not so sure what I can do about coats, but I know I have some food here that I can give you.” 

“That would be great.” 

“This should work for now for food, at least for a couple days until things can get cleared up with the mines,” Summer said as she handed over a few ration packs with dried meat, cheese, and bread. “And I’ll see what I can do about getting you a couple coats.” 

The mother took the ration packs with a smile. “Thank you.” 

“And what are we supposed to do for food?” Raven asked. “Those ration packs are supposed to last us for the month and we cant exactly afford more.” 

“And we’ll get more food-” 

“With what money, Sum? This is what I mean by not letting people take advantage of you.” 

“We can restock before we leave.” 

“Not if we cant afford to.” Raven sighed and took Summer’s hand. “I love you, but you cant keep helping people like this. Why is it so important to you to help until you cant anymore?” 

Summer averted her eyes from Raven’s, voice cracking as she spoke. “B-because then… I… I’ll know that no one else has to be in the same position I was. Just because I lived within a kingdom didnt mean I had everything I needed. My family struggled and relied on the help of others to survive. My parents used every last bit of their money to help send me to Beacon to become a huntress before they passed away.” She wiped away a few tears and looked up at Raven again with a sad smile. “I owe it to them to help others like we were.” 

Raven rolled her eyes and started to drag Summer down the street. “That’s fine, but you have to quit giving away everything we need for our missions to help others.” 

Summer winced a bit as she felt Raven’s grip tighten around her arm as she tried to struggle to get free. “But Rae-”

“Mission first. We get paid and then we can find a way to help others.” 

“Fine,” Summer said with a small pout as they passed by a few more faunus struggling to survive. It hurt her to leave them, but she understood where Raven was coming from. “At least let me try to help someone before we go.” 

“No!” 

“I wont give away anything we have.” 

“Mission first.” Raven pinched the bridge of her nose. “Working with Tai would’ve been easier. At least he gets things done.”

[angelllcakes]

hiiii~

i was wondering if you could write an angst imagine of jeonghan where he cheats on y/n, but in the end he begs for her back? some sad backstory maybe 🤭

i’m so sorry idk why stories like these are my favorite i just love being hurt i guess 😓😩 but take your time please and be safe!!

no worries at all! i can handle a little angst 😌

just need to tell myself that this ISNT self indulgent and i’m not trying to hurt my own heart by writing angst ab my ult hehe

numbful void, ft. jeonghan

pairings: idol!jeonghan x gn!reader

warnings: angst, suggestive content, lots of crying, mentions of cheating smooching 😱😱

word count: 1.2k

There’s a distance between the two of you lately.

Maybe not in the ways one would expect, for your boyfriend still greets you sweet good mornings’ and goodbyes’ each day. It’s the same as it’s always been, yet you sense a separation only felt behind the thoughts of curiosity and mistrust.

In the last few months you’ve seen less and less of jeonghan, naively trusting his claims that his comeback requires extensive preparations. It’s difficult to understand being in a position such as his, for a demanding, best-selling group of artists require more rehearsals and more attention in order to remain at the very top. You couldn’t imagine the stress he endured, so you never minded when he’d call you late at night, sleepily letting you know of his whereabouts with the other members. You’d always give in, letting him have his freedom if it meant seeing him smile. Though his honesty began to twist from that point on, for less than a month later his colleagues would kindly message you, about him.

Joshua Hong, 12:48am - Sry to bother you, just wanted to make sure Jeonghan got back home safe~

You, 12:50am - He isn’t with you?

Sooner or later, incoming calls from the others would appear, leaving you distraught at the hundreds of thoughts peddling through your mind about your boyfriend’s location.

“We finished rehearsing about an hour ago, like we have for the last five weeks. He told me he was going straight home to you?”

“He isn’t here, but thank you for being honest with me ‘Kwan.”

you bite your lip tensely, bouncing one leg up and down as you sit by your bedroom window. Just the idea of him being in an unsafe situation triggers your mind, though for some reason you can’t let yourself believe this has all been happening unintentionally.

You, 1:12am - Hannie?

You, Imy, are you almost home?

You, 1:15am - idc where you are just tell me you’re ok

~

By morning, your eyes blink open to whisps of hair tickling your shoulder, and an arm tightly clung to your waist. In the moment you want to shake him startled and interrogate him with questions that have kept you up all night. But you wouldn’t dare, instead nudging closer to him in the comfort of his warmth.

But this always happens, by the next morning he finds his way back to you, and you let him off without question. Sooner or later will he even return anymore?

He bids you a gentle farewell for another day of work as you twirl a strand from his perm back into place, softly pecking his cheek before returning to your office. When he shuts the door back into its position, you make a sharp turn for the bathroom, digging through the hamper for any evidence of his travels. Part of you is seeping with noisiness, begging to discover what kind of truths he’s been hiding. Another side of you can’t believe you’d let yourself lose this much trust in him, someone you’ve spent years of memories with.

You pull out his attire from last night, slightly damp from sweating through never-ending dance practices. As you shake off his sweat pants a natural, floral-scented fragrance fills your senses, which has never been your go-to aroma.

Pondering further on your thoughts you place his clothing back into the dirty pile feeling more distressed than before. A small, dark object slips out of his pocket, catching your eye by the sink, and only until after it’s swatted away in a scream do you realize it had only been a false eyelash. Your eyes widen, crouching over its place on the tile floor as your hand covers your gasping mouth.

Never in your life had you touched a pair of false lashes, and your just about positive his members haven’t either.

~

That evening you sit yourself comfortably at the kitchen table, only hiding your growing anxieties from the situation jeonghans brought to your attention.

He enters through the door, lazily kicking off his shoes before making his way over to the leftovers you’d left for him. Sometimes. when he found himself too exhausted, he’ll resist the urge to give you a sign of affection, not wanting to throw his hangriness onto you.

“Do we have any glue, hannie?” you mention.

His eyebrows furrow, doe eyes widening as he turns to you with a chuckle.

“And what would you need glue for sweetheart?”

“How else am I supposed to stick these falsies on?” You question half ignorantly, and watch as all the color drains from his face in an instant.

He rushes to your side, kneeling beside the chair you angrily perched on.

“S-Sweeheart you need to listen to me-“

“What is there to listen to Jeonghan!” You rise from the table, hands fisting around the now-dry pair of lashes before they’re throw towards his face.

In the time you’ve loved Jeonghan, you’ve never seen your boyfriend break down this quickly. He’s already tearing up, explaining in muffled sobs how apologetic he is, how big of a mistake he’s been making.

“This comebacks’ preparation has been so draining, baby. I needed a breath of fresh air from my life!” His eyes grow swollen at the sight of you, tearing up with nothing but a stone-cold gaze from above him.

He couldn’t force you into complying to his pleasures. The idea of using you for his own wishes made him sick. A few months ago he’d stumbled upon a lesser-known bar with his close friend, who encouraged him inside in order to free his mind.

“I only spent a few nights at that club, was only there because he thought it’d get rid of my stress. I wouldn’t have to think about my career, or be burdened by the responsibilities I have to maintain each day.”

“What, like your responsibilities of being a truthful boyfriend? Your clothes smell like another woman’s perfume Jeonghan.”

The possibilities of where his hands have been, whom his lips might have touched is something that would haunt you for who knows how long, but that sliver of hope in your heart couldn’t help but appreciate his care for you, refraining from using you in any immature way. He’s never thought of you lowly, and never will. It’s why arguments with him are so hard to communicate through. His reasons jumble inside your head until you can’t decide whether to ridicule him, or kiss him senseless. No matter what he’s done, he always manages to make it up to you. A part of you wants to believe that this time he’ll do it again too.

You reach out your hand to him, as he poorly attempts to wipe his tears.

“You’ve have no idea how grateful I am for you, love. Thank you, Thank you with every bone in my body for giving me your hand again.”

You chuckle, extending your fingers out further.

“No, no. Give me your pair of keys back.”

[atley01]

This disability pride month, I'm left with conflicted feelings.

Whenever I post about disability-related things online, I always try to give my community optimism and hope. I know how much suffering can result from having health issues, and sometimes, you just need a break from dwelling on it. I want to provide fellow disabled people a break from the slippery slope of doom that dwelling can lead to.

But the more I do that, the more that I fear I'm showing an inaccurate representation of disability. That I am painting an image of disability to be something "struggle free all the time and nothing more than a 'unique character trait.'"

Being disabled isn't easy. You're living in a world not meant for you. And you get reminded of that every day. You might think its easier to mask if you're able to, but all that does is dig you into a deeper hole. Sure, I can suppress my tics. Sure, I can mask my autism. Sure, I can try my best to hide my POTS symptoms. I can act like my tinnitus isn't giving me headaches and making it difficult to function in society. I can act like my chronic pain isnt making me want to collapse to the floor. I can pretend I dont need a mobility aid.

Sometimes, though, you arent given the choice on if you hide it or not. And then that whole facade tumbles down. And you're left feeling a mix of embarrassment, shame, and anger. Embarrassed to be seen like that, shame that you may need help, and angry that your body did something against your will, again.

I started working 7 months ago. The first 3 months, I was so happy and proud of myself for being able to have the privilege of holding down a job. By the 4th month, I had some doubts about how long I could hold my job down. Here I am, 7 months in, and Im realizing yet again that I am not as able-bodied as I expected myself to be. The thought that I may have to find a less physically demanding job terrifies me. I feel immense shame for struggling to handle a part-time job physically.

I think what really solidified this for me was when I passed out at my job last month. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but the fact of the matter is I blacked out, and I didn't get to decide I "wasn't going to." That scared me. Or maybe what solidified it for me was when my tinnitus prevented me from being able to understand customers and coworkers. Maybe it was when I had to mask and suppress a tic attack to the best of my ability. Maybe it was when I touched something that triggered my sensory issues, and I was simply too busy to regulate myself, so I had to spend my time dissociating to forget the feeling.

When you're young and you're disabled, it's difficult to be taken seriously. People think you're being dramatic, or they think its something you're doing to be causing all the health problems. "Have you tried changing your diet?" / "It's growing pains." / "Your leg hurts? Did you bang it on something?" / "Give it a few days. You'll feel better." The search for accommodation and validity is made even harder when doctors refuse to listen. Sadly, the medical system is not immune to being abelist. You can't request accommodations if doctors document you as able-bodied.

I have never claimed to be a voice for my community. I am a voice for nobody but myself. Maybe in sharing my Expirences, someone else can feel less alone. Or maybe this is unique to me alone.

Am I proud to be disabled?

I think that in some ways, yes. I am proud of what I have accomplished in spite of my health. I am proud that I have found tools to manage my health. I am proud to say I am a part of an amazing community such as the disabled community, and I am proud of what we've accomplished.

I dont think I am proud of the abelism, shame, or pain through. Im not sure anyone could be. If you are, I truly envy you. I am proud that despite the pain, I push forward. But I wonder if that's an unhealthy habit to encourage. To push my limits and ignore my body, screaming at me to give it rest.

This disability pride month, Im reflecting on my health and how it affects me, and taking the time to be patient with myself. Because Im doing all that I can, I do not need to hold myself to the standards that able-bodied people are held to. That is an impossible standard for me to reach.

Im going to celebrate the small victories. This time last year, I was passing out multiple times a week, and I overall had more tic attacks. Now, my fainting has been almost non-existent, and my tic attacks- while they do still happen - have noticeably been less frequent.

If you made it this far, please be kind to yourself, and happy disability pride month. You are allowed to be upset by the things your disability puts you through. You're doing the best you can. I see you, and Im proud of you.

[hexcryingwolf]

im sorry but talking about if they should bother being nice to you then complaining about how youll convince yourself if it isnt genuine? as if the fact that they are all debating if you should be given kindness doesnt show that they dont care; as if you deserve it as is implied by they all think you dont when talking about how youre "dangerous" and ranting about wanting to get verbally abusive by yelling at you ????? the conversation they have about if you should be given kindness from friends out of fear that it wont be seen as "genuine" and thinking that it would actually be genuine if they did comfort you???? its?? they are talking about how they genuinely dont want to help you? and then despairing about how if they try to help you wont think they are being genuine? only to start talking about wanting to get angry at you for being hurt by their actions? talking about responding to you being hurt by trying to hurt you even more??

im sorry if this sounds weird im just genuinely confused how anyone couldnt see all that as a red flag outside of just ignoring and lying about your story to defend all of them

no i get it its a tangle and the reason i still think about it so much after all this time is because every now and then my brain notices something that i didnt realize before. its like every now and then a layer peels off of revealing a brand new level of bullshit

its hard for me to follow their (the flora inner circle not just glip) thought process because my brain doesnt jump through a million hoops to turn "we should comfort our friend in crisis" to "we should yell at our friend in crisis"

this is what ended up happening btw

when they talk about how annoying it was to have to re-add me because i had a panic attack and removed them. they didnt even end up yelling at me but i wonder if it satisfies them to know this hurt me very, very badly. then the comic about me dropped not long after

and youve pointed out a new layer to me anon; the fact that they didnt genuinely care about me but were making it my fault if i didnt believe their care was genuine?

this was in response to my first attempt to cut everyone from flora out of my life. i wish they could have just left me alone instead of digging their hooks in. why did they even do that if i was so terrible?

[welcome-to-green-hills]

This is fellow archeologist! I finally worked up the courage to dm you (anxiety and shyness, my eternal curse), but it says you only accept messages from tumblrs you follow. My sonic blog is @navy-the-tiger but you dont have to follow I am fine talking like this

Also I totally wasn't weird and scrolled through your entire archeologist tag. Feel you so much on being frustrated with the way archeology is portrayed in media. Rarely accurate, often a romanticized depiction of the early, unethical forms of archeology... It hurts every time.

Also hearing about your job was super interesting! My dig (I have only been on one so far, a field school dig and internship that got me le certificate) was on the property of a house constructed between 1800 and 1810. Boss had to teach us what to do if we found any native american artifacts which was basically stop everything immediately, contact the local rep for either the organization you work for or something super similar to it, and essentially the dig would be over.

Also I really wanted to be a museum curator too! I've had to accept over the past few years that chronic illness means I'll never be able to hold a typical job, but I still love love love it. I was going to get a PhD in mineralogy and specialize in that kind if curation, but now sinking all that time and money when I will be unemployed sounds like a bad idea. Seeing someone else living my dream even if it isnt the same field and getting to hear about it is so heartwarming.

So sorry for rambling so much I just have many thoughts

Navy! It’s wonderful to finally meet with you. Hello! I’m so happy that you’re here! Welcome to Green Hills, your home away from home.❤️✨

I’m very happy that you’ve found my anthropology/archaeology posts enjoyable to read. Sometimes there’s rambling, other times it’s a clash between science and game characters. It’s fun! Archaeology is very (and this is me being polite) romanticized through vast forms of media. And because it’s very romanticized it gets a bit complicated to do my job. I am, however, very appreciative of those that ask questions about what we do—they want to know. I encourage curiosity.

Oooo! The dig that you’ve been on sounds very exciting! It’s interesting to hear that Indigenous artefacts were uncovered at the household. My curiosity is at an all time high. Fortunately for me and my team, we work under NAGPRA (Native American Graves Protection & Repatriation Act). We honor requests and always make sure to have representatives of each community working with us. It’s fun work!

Unfortunately, I am not a curator. I do wish to be a curator one day. I’m both a researcher and collections assistant. When I’m not doing field work (my region of the USA calls them “dirt archaeologists”), I work side-by-side with many curators to manage collections. It’s like an assistant manager. My job requires me to understand customs, languages, ethics, it’s history, and much more on what collections I’m working on. This actually does not require a PhD, but it’s preferred. The work I do can be easily accomplished with an AA, AS, BA, BS, MA, and/or an MS. As long as you have a mentor that is thrilled to work with you, then it can be achieved. Traditionally, archaeological collections that require a curator require their managers to have a PhD. I’m noticing more and more that those traditions are changing, but it’s a good thing. It’s allowing new ideas and voices to come and share insight on what they do. I’m very fortunate to have worked with my mentors for as long as I have. They will always have a special place in my heart.

What I’m trying to say through my rambling is this: don’t lose hope. Your dreams are possible. I believe in you. If you are a United States citizen and interested in furthering your education, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Universities, colleges, and community colleges have tons of programs and resources that help students achieve their dreams. If you are interested in managing collections, I highly encourage reaching out to museums FIRST and then a learning institution. Some museums may even help you with schooling and give you the foundation needed before going to school. You may never know! And if you have questions, ask me! This is what I’m here for. I’m more than happy to supply guidance.

Never apologize for rambling about your passions. Never. I’m always happy to hear them. It was wonderful to meet you, I hope that you have a fantastic day!❤️✨

[angel---eater]

both june and roxy struggle *immensely* with compcis. i could write an entire essay abt how roxy started with almost obnoxiously cisfemininine imagery that he clung to hard but then was so much happier after transitioning to void blue im ngl. roxy fuckin bloomed after godtiering. the colour thing isnt a 1-to-1 match for every character obviously, i mean, dave is right there going from red to... more red. but theres a ton of stuff to dig into for both a transfem and/or a transneutral read of him (davepeta thriving for one as a half olive-blood, a femme-coded colour in hs1, and exclusively using they/them) (better example i think would be vriska going from one femme-coded colour to another in cerulean to light-aspect yellow, and the general consensis on her being transfem coded**). but i cant help but notice a distinct and matching signifigance to colour + gender and struggling either with themselves or with their aspect with roxy and june

june's shirt symbol being jade's green, but then as she goes through the story shes taken over by blue (god tiering), and her dissonance/dissociation with herself and her life in candy. shes just not happy. her life in candy was great at the start and she loves her partner and son, she loves being a parent, but theres a continual feeling of emptyness and Wrongness that imo goes beyond (bdum tiss) her usual brand of dissociation. losing her father but trying to fit into his shoes with fatherhood and all the suits. something just isnt right. roxy brings this up HERSELF in candy in hsbc, and june just kinda glazes over it. yaint right june!! something needs to change and the something is you! she hasnt embraced her aspect completely yet and she needs to

roxy's everything being COVERED in pink. the desperation for a boyfriend (his crush on dirk, also being very obviously interested in jake, the only boys he knows). trying so hard to connect to his mom but failing until he actually meets rose. the continual lalondian misunderstanding of each other. being introduced to blue through godtiering and stumbling through it (trying and failing to recreate the matriorb until hes quite literally in his element), feeling that maybe its an awkward fit, until finally getting to explore himself in meat (and candy, but in a slightly different direction). he has embraced his aspect completely and that has changed him for the better

roxy seems to thrive when hes on his own - not isolated like how he was pre-game, but at peace with it. just calm and quiet, peaceful and in his element (aspect). june hasnt had that yet. i dont think we know what that looks like for her yet, cause she hasnt found it

so much of homestuck is about actively watching these characters. its MEANT to be voueyristic. we as the reader are put in a distinct (and literal in a meta/literary sense) 'watching through the window' position. we're supposed to watch these characters grow and transition from state to state. sometimes in a non-trans way, but sometimes very VERY much in a trans way. im not surprised at all that june was planned and im wondering how long roxy's route was planned too

i think in particular for trans characters in hs, embracing your aspect is KEY. watching the trans character embrace their aspect is key

**if anyone has any specifically transfem meta/analysis for vriska please send it my way because i keep feeling like ive missed something major there. idk whether its a general gap bc i cant pick up on really specific lived experiences that i just, yknow, wont live. i just havent actually seen a lot digging into this in canon. which to my own mind even sounds fuckin crazy but also i dont usually pay as much attention to vriska when it comes to my own meta/analysis. so much of her is already super plain to see and right on the page for me that i dont actually have to dig very far for my own reading. like she full on just tells us whats going on with her a lotta the time. Understanding Vriska[tm] and her problems like this isnt a badge of honor but it does come in useful lmao

regardless, reading the epilogues and HSBC is ESSENTIAL for understanding june egbert and what both hussie and the current writing team are putting down for her. being trans is part of her heros jouney, like for real her egg cracking NEEDS to happen for her to truly become a fully realized heir of breath. shes supposed to embody change, but she hasnt actually changed yet. not like how roxy has truly become a rogue of void and shaped himself from both 'everything' (binary gender) and 'nothing' (gender outside of binary). june can completely dissapate herself into the wind around her but cant quite break outta that shell yet. who KNOWS what she could do as an heir of breath after having this realization

[forbidden-x-tree-mist]

September 7, 2023

“You can’t go back to the past just because it is familiar.”

But what do you do when all the boundaries of present and the future blur themselves into this difficult shade of blue you can’t decode. What do you do when you would just do anything to go back to that part of your life where at least something is familiar to you. Moreover, what do you do when the present does not work, the future is bleak and you don’t remember any even a single worthwhile memory to hold on to your past for.

It all feels like damn damn labyrinth, i was out of it for sometime and I really believed that i was, but now that all this has started again, was i really ever out of it? No! Some of us are really trapped inside ourselves, in our own lives and it is the toughest thing to make the people understand what we really feel at that point of time. A few days ago my friend texted me that she needs a cigarette really bad (has been trying to avoid them), i called her up and was like dude dont go down that street, but really it was so easy for me to say that. And she did tell me how i would never understand how she felt. A few hours ago i did something terrible too, as Frost would put it I took the wrong road, I took a way i knew too well, too well to even know that it was the wrong one. But right now while im writing this even im not able to imagine let alone understand what was i feeling then.

Today just happens to be one of those bad days you know, which start bad and keep getting worse and all you can do is to wait, wait for time to pass and heal all that has been eroded. I remember writing in my diary once that how, “We have all slept for nights, after which we never wished to wake up again.” Today is really one of those nights, and I do wonder that how shall it pass, but ik it will, because Shakespeare said no, “This too shall pass.” But does it really matter what Shakespeare said when he can’t feel what im feeling, and are his words but really helping me? Are my own words really helping me for that sake? Will I get over the guilt of doing what I just did and like that? Will I ever be happy? Will my words really make sense anyday?

Will i have the answers to these spirals that run down in my head?

John Green said that, “What you need to understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person.” Was Green talking about me when he wrote this, i dont know. But what Ive sort of slightly understood is that my grief has become so much entwined with who i am as a person that i somehow am not really ready for it to leave me. I remember reading this post on Instagram where this person asks his friend that are we really willing to let go off our grief? I guess im never going to do that, what i have felt during my low times is something i wish to carry through my highs, for i shall always remember how far Ive come.

I really was on the good track from some days/months ago, i started to adore myself like i have never done before, but today it feels like i did away with everything with just some (8) blows. It’s like literally i took the sharpest edge of the screwdriver and dig it in my skin. Sometimes there’s so much going on in my head that i really wish it to get out through inflicting pain upon my body, like really. It goes so hard that i get an adrenaline rush from harming myself, and want to see myself more hurt after that.

i have cursed my skin a lot, a lot in the damn twenty years i have spent on this planet but today i do really feel bad for it, for i have inflicted more pain on it, than it really deserved. But isn’t life unfair to me too like that inflicting more pain on me than i deserve, than i really can take, isnt life unfair too!?

I remember this person in college I telling people how i was all about money and good clothes, i wish she could see this side of things as well. But haven’t all of us at some point of times in our lives been like her only, ignoring what the other person feels just due to the look they put out for us too see, dont we too often feel like how other people get it easy in their lives, but really are any of us getting it any easy than each other? I feel we are too broken for a generation to be. But aren’t we also broken because we were raised by a generation which was broken too? Is this world really so broken, is it as broken as my skin is, but is my skin more broken or my heart, or my poetry.

Is it a competition for being the most broken?

(Will i win)

- N

[fraener]

3/10/23

the days have been getting incrementally longer. im having some kind of allergic reaction to something in my house, i think. i texted ian today. i dont think hell respond, but i dont think i really mind too much. i can feel flashes of that spring still imprinted in the light and the movement of my heart and the sound of robins and goldfinches. i cut my hair a little strange, but ive been feeling stranger. im finding where my heart settles with h slowly. theres so much in me questioning and probing and posing different things- are there really so many different kinds of love? is it really ok to feel this way and stay in the relationship? i feel exhausted and lonely again. such is the way of winter. but it feels good to not be hurt by my companion, it feels good to be seen and loved tenderly and to be respected. ive been hurt by feeling overlooked and underestimated and misunderstood lately, too. the redcurrant is blooming, the smell like lemon balm and raspberries thick in the air. i wonder about my heart, though. its been a long time since i laughed for real. its been a long time since i felt much of anything other anger or sorrow. i feel myself trying to come back to the garden of my life, to tend and pull the weeds and sow new seeds. the sunlight is yellow and warm. the birds are singing in the mornings, the clouds are rolling through in rhythm thick and dark and charming with occasional thunderclaps and rain. i feel very lonely. el is back in town but ive only seen her once, briefly. she was blushing and i was too. it was sort of awkward and tense in the room. im pacing circles in my heart around ian, though. im really so in love with that snapshot of sensation i had that spring two years ago. the heat, the dark green and thick air of my apartment, the blinding sun the afternoon we met. the purr of his car in the dark, the way he carried me to bed, drinking cold infused lemon balm and rose and mint tea, the feeling of his hair in my fingers, the lilt and reed of his voice, nasally. part of my heart frozen in those moments. wish my heart would come back to me. my heart and i know he isnt it- isnt all, but he acts as the stepping stone back to there. in the same way simon is my sweet stepping stone and i his, we step on each other all the time. i spoke with him on the phone the other day and like always no time had passed. i love him and hate him. we pretend not to string each other on but i can hear it every time we talk, the way we fit together exists in a bigger pattern than just the physical or this place in time. i think the thing im missing is beauty. the city is so beautiful. everything ian gave me, even the emotional welts, was so beautiful. i think i want someone to make me crazy again because the states of dysregulation are states of release. it makes sense for me. i want to be violently disarmed by the mountains again, i want to be caught off guard and driven to tears by a stormy inlet, i want to my kissed over and over by the wind and rain. i want to feel the mud between my feet and eat the earth on the back of a nettle leaf. i know hes imaginary, my ian. like the dead he has become mythological and monolithic inside of me. wondrous how we can create someone over and over, their fiction becomes as real as anyone else, after departure or death. i think i need to do some digging about why i dont want to see h. i might just be tired and need some time to myself from him. i wonder my heart goes in and out of the romance with him, its strange. i felt terrible about it but ill admit when i was in the room with el he faded away. if he and i split i think i wont want a serious committed relationship for a long while again. i sort of dont want one now but im afraid of what his jealousy will do through him. everything would be easier if he had more people in his life. well get there. el is moving into a beautiful new house with a huge garden. i wonder if its the bottle house, since its in french loop. im very excited to get back in the dirt. and i get to see emma tonight so everything will get a lot better. i think everything with h would be resolved if i was just spending more time alone and time more with other people- i want to feel truly excited to see him. i also wish hed talk more, i like him best when i get him in flashes of conversation. different sort of hard to access from previous loves but not a dissimilar effect on me. im itching to turn the house over for spring.

[appareils-futiles]

I took off all notifications and deactivated my Facebook and my Instagram and logged out. I also took down my Twitter and my TikTok. I'm in the process of deleting emails and unsubbing from newsletters. I've updated my planner and am even considering doing a mass cleansing of my Pinterest. I gave everyone from 10am to 1pm EST to follow me on @cavortinginmoonlight or ask for my number but hey it is what it is. I actually was on the train when I posted that time frame and gave them until after 2pm when I got home. I'm kinda over all this. I crave the easiness of the 90s and the simplicity of the 2000s. Day one of the dot com era, Hasan Minhaj said that social media is a killer and as someone that had the majority of their first 18 years of their lives pre social media (unless you count tumblr which I don't) and didn't have a smart phone until she was 24, many years after smart phones became a thing--the first IPhone didn't come out until I was out of HS! It was blackberry and sidekicks and of course at that point to a lesser extent, razr phones!)

But I remember when MySpace and Facebook and Twitter could only be accessed through a computer! Such simpler times. Hasan says that he thinks we should go back to that, where we still have SM but only use it on computers, because having it 24/7 at our fingertips is too much. It takes away from the simplicity of life. From legitimate interactions with other people in person. Is it really spending time if you're sitting on your phone, next to that person and they are doing it to? We should be able to go on dates, hang out with friends, visit people in hospitals, go on vacations and raise our kids without throwing our business through the cables of the nether world for our family and truthfully (mostly) complete strangers to enjoy and hate on. We can't complain about people being all up in our business, talking smack about us, spreading rumors/gossiping or even coming up with shit if we give them all the ammo to do it.

We decide what we present to people not just with our looks but with our words, our expressions and how we treat one another. So we get off social media, we get our business off there as best we can, but will that keep the naysayers and haters from doing their thing? No. Haters and Nay-sayers are just that, haters and naysayers, unfortunately they will always exist no matter if you refuse them their fix of ammo or kick them out of your lives. The truth is, once you do it. They lose their hold over you, it's kinda like rehab. In a sense. You put an addict in rehab and they'll get whatever treatment they get and eventually get off the drug, it's out of their system, but the drug isnt the problem, or even access to it, or other addicts around them who may supply or make it hard for them to live cleanly, it's their sheer willpower to stay off the drug that's gonna keep them from using again (that was my terrible metaphor, so don't come for me in the replies because I will block you)

So if you cut off the haters/naysayers ammo, cut off their access to you, even in person, they'll either forget you (hopefully) or spread fake shit about you. But at that point, you either won't know about it because you don't fuck with them anymore, or you will and genuinely won't care. Shit, you may even get a giggle from the crazy shit you'll hear about yourself! Whatttt?? I'm doing "whatt? Why me didn't tell me I'm a cokehead?!" 😂😂 Take notice that not everyone around you is like this. But there's a difference between paranoid and being careful. Dig deep within yourself because there's someone wonderful in there and if you have the attention span of a TikTok and crave the attention of people for clout, take a step back and remember, you're a person........that's the machine. I was going somewhere with this. I swear. The point is this: Detach, even for a little while, just to get yourself together, in your head, in your heart, in your soul, in your finances and everything in between. The Matrix was a documentary and the Machine they talk about in Person of Interest is 100% real. This I confirmed when I was getting rid of Facebook and they had something on there I never shared on social media and that was just very creepy.

I'll be on tumblr. That's about it. Lenii

[wh6res]

one more time | markhyuck

"if i'm going to teach you how to fuck her right, you’re gonna need the best seat in the house, markie!" — lhc 

warnings. dubious content, swearing, bondage, voyeurism, masturbation, exhibitionism, mentions of stalking, fingering, oral (f receiving), degradation, there’s a knife (but no knifeplay), a threesome, implied kidnapping 

disclaimer. i dont condone anything. this isnt a normal relationship. this aint love.

note. prolly going to hell for this but who cares. markhyuck for @nakamotocore​ i wuv ya ie please get better soon! TT and dom hyuck for my napaka kalat na mami @donghyukcore​

against all rational thinking, haechan is getting bored from seeing the pathetic five feet distance between you and mark when he comes home. he tries to understand the other male in the relationship. truly, he does, even if he highly doubts that celibate little mark lee can pleasure you the way he can but everything's practically past that line now. donghyuck just wants to have some fun with you two, is that too much to ask for? at this point, he's blatantly ignoring the fact that you and mark don't even like each other.

but haechan cares for mark just as much as he cares about you and he won't just let his best friend miss out on all the fun things he can do to their little doll, right? what kind of a friend would he be? once haechan shoves him into a world of temptation and sin and pleasure, mark would kiss his self-induced celibacy goodbye.

plus, you've been awfully naughty these days.

talks about wanting to come home or getting at least a few rights to have gadgets were the only thing you said whenever you see him. it went as far as practically growling and running away from haechan when he tries to initiate something with you, screeching your lungs out and saying, "don't fucking touch me, you creepy little psycho!"

deflowering mark.

punishing you.

he'd be killing two birds with one stone.

he's fucked your stubborn little self into submission once, but all that overprivileged tv sessions might've put silly little ideas into your dumb little head again. alas, no worries, he'll just have to do it one more time. and maybe, now with the aid of his good 'ol buddy mark, they'll both be able to screw you up so good you'll never want to leave their clutches.

"gumdrop, can you come here for a second?"

haechan isn't deaf to the exaggerated groan you let out from the living room and it grates on his nerves how utterly brave you are for being passive aggressive. you reminded him of a little girl in a temper tantrum because they weren't given any candy - and when you show up in the master bedroom clad in your little pink dress, eyes upturned and sharp, a pathetic little girl was all he can think of when he saw you.

only now did he notice that you had even detangled your hair from the intricate braids haechan spent at least twenty minutes doing earlier this morning. where was mark all this time? why wasn’t he there to stop you? geez, you both are so going to get it, this time!

"what do you want?"

"can you give me a hug? i felt awfully stressed at work today. i need my little gumdrop."

this was obviously a test. don't get him wrong, he'll still punish you but if just this one time you learned to swallow that bitchy attitude and come crawling to him as the perfect lover should, maybe he won't be too harsh.

but he gave you too much credit, he thinks. of course his dumb cockwhore doesn't know shit. of fucking course, you wouldn't know it was a test. not when you scoffed, rolled your eyes at him, and spun in your heels to walk back to the living room.

"beat your meat with your own hands, creep."

haechan's reaction is immediate, his long legs allowing no delay in crossing the room to mercilessly fist your hair. he had pulled your hair so bad you thought it was going to rip right at the roots, all of his pent up anger due to your poor behavior channeling into that one grip.

you feel his scoff of disbelief against the curve of your neck as haechan pulls you flush against his body. "what the fuck did you just say to me?" he laughs patronizingly. "beat my meat with my own hands – aw, baby! that has got to be the best one yet!"

it truly was, though. he's not going to lie. out of every vicious snarl and hate-induced words you said to him, that particular offhand comment takes the cake. seriously, sometimes haechan thinks you're deliberately trying to make him furious – gumdrop, if you wanted to be fucked silly, all you had to do was ask.

he hurls you to the mattress, breath knocking right out of your lungs. before you can even sit back up and crawl away from haechan, he's already crawling over your body to sit directly on your stomach, fiddling with something on the headboard. you nearly scream in frustration, no matter what you do, you just can't throw him off of you!

"i don't know why the fuck you're behaving this way but it's gone too far. one more time. do i need to fuck some respect into you, one more time?”

a new wave of motivation surges through you when you hear the familiar click clacking of metal. your eyes widened just a fraction, the only thing that gave away the unease quickly seeping under your skin. if not for haechan's perceptive eyes, he would have missed it.

he merely used one hand to grip both your wrists in a vice. "no!" you squirmed, tossing and turning and trying with all your might to get him off of you. "no! i don't want that – not the cuffs!"

he loops the respective bands around your wrists with practiced ease. the last handcuffs he used had torn and marked your skin, something haechan wasn't fond of. only he can paint your bare skin with colors.

thus, he bought newer ones. the bands were a bright shade of red, connected to each other using a medium sized chain that loops around one of the steel wires of the bed, and the little bells attached to the bands ring with your every movement.

haechan knows the bells drove you crazy. its incessant ringing driving you up the wall as you couldn't keep your hands still whenever he fucked you to oblivion – he knew how much you loathed the sound of the bells, all the more reason for him to enjoy.

and mark, too. speaking of which…

you stubbornly pull at your bounded hands, glaring at the man before you as he studies your state. the corners of his lips curl up at the sight of you struggling. "you always look so good in red, gumdrop."

before you were given a chance to reply, he stormed out of the room with a sense of purpose bounding his steps. "lee donghyuck!" you screamed. "fucking come back and get me out of these, you pervert!"

he can hear you thrashing in your chains and yelling profanities from a room away. where was the demure girl he turned you into after only a week living in the apartment? though funny enough, the blood in haechan's sadistic side rushes in excitement at the prospect of wiping that glare off your face. it wasn't the fear, nor your submission that gets him off. it was the idea that he can and he will break you down no matter how many times you try to build yourself back up again.

he's not too sure whether he's going to eliminate that dirty mouth you've developed, though. because you did make him snort in the most unattractive way when you told him he can fucking jack himself off when he had been merely asking for a hug. this aggressive side you developed is… nice. he can work with it.

"can you ask your play thing to keep it down?" mark hisses, flinching and making an offkey sound with his guitar when a certain screech from you caught him off-guard.

haechan smiles.

"why don't you shut her up?"

it took a good few minutes trying to talk mark into stepping into the bedroom where he's got you chained to the headboard, but alas, haechan can be persuasive if he wants to be.

frankly, the younger man is sick and tired of hearing both of you bicker – it's no wonder you've developed a sharp tongue! it's all mark's fault and yet it's haechan that has to do the dirty work of setting you straight all over again. you're a tough cookie to crack, someone hauntingly immune to the violence and chaos.

and yet…

"you don't – don't seriously plan on doing this, do you?" your eyes go back and forth between the two males, primarily addressing the younger, devil-spawned male. haechan, ever observant, picks up the light tremor in your voice.

haechan had uttered a playful "if i'm going to teach you how to fuck her right, you're gonna need the best seat in the house, markie!" before forcing the older boy to sit by your side, mark's thighs grazing the temples of your head as your eyes awkwardly flutter up to the spectator.

mark couldn't deny he was intrigued by the emotion reflecting in your orbs. when your eyes met, it was a silent plea, he just knew it was. and unlike vulnerable and helpless you, mark, to some extent, still had at least some sense of freedom to him. he can choose to walk away, to stop haechan from trying to get him laid, maybe even talk the other boy into postponing your punishment.

but he'll do no such thing.

not because he has a moral compass (he doesn't, really) but because mark knew firsthand, there's no stopping haechan once he sets his mind into something – and right now, if that boy wants to punish you and use mark to fulfil his exhibitionistic fantasies then that's what'll happen.

your bottoms were the first to go, haechan's blunt nails digging into your skin as he pulled it down slowly, patronizingly, while watching bemused at your squirming. "this is how you know she needs a reminder," he says, addressing mark. "a good princess should take whatever's given to her like a good girl but if she's being an ungrateful brat –"

you flinch when he harshly smacks your thigh.

"– she gets what’s coming for her, right?"

there's a second's delay with mark's reply. haechan didn't mean for the question to be rhetorical, he wanted an answer from the other boy.

"right, mark?"

"r – right…"

haechan laughs, flipping the skirt of your dress up. "what, are you that excited for pussy that you're stuttering? that's cute."

you hear mark intake a sharp breath when haechan dives in to give you feathery kisses in your inner thigh. he always starts off this way, after figuring out this gets you wet way faster than simply kissing you.

as haechan starts talking, lips lazily grazing over your skin, you fight hard not to utter a single sound as you pull on your chains. "listen carefully, markie. do you hear those whimpers? she likes it," you feel the prickles of his sharp stare. "she's just too much of a fucking brat to admit it. go on gumdrop, your fighting spirit makes this all the more interesting."

you hate the patronizing tone he used as his hands trail higher, and higher until it's pinching at the bud of your clit. and against your whole being trying to keep your lips sealed, alas, it parts and creates a soft whimper that has mark stiffening next to you.

haechan lays his tongue flat against your folds. you weren't in the least bit wet yet to accommodate his size, but that's easy. he merely circles the bud with the tip of his tongue before pushing two fingers in. months of standing in the shadows outside your window had made him memorize the movement of your fingers whenever you pleasured yourself.

he felt the jolts of the bed as you shook your head side to side, trying with everything you can to hold your moans in. a corner of his lips can’t help but curl up. "what, gumdrop? too shy to lose yourself because we have an audience? don't worry our celibate little friend over here seems to like it. go on, give him a show."

too lost in the ministrations of his lips and fingers, you don't see haechan meeting eyes with mark, nodding at an object lying on the bed side table. you can only shudder when the cool tip of a knife presses against the base of your throat, hooking under the collar of your dress as mark slowly rips it off.

but haechan doesn't have the patience. "dude, give that to me. at your phase you'll get her naked tomorrow. let the tip cut her skin, the bitch deserves it anyway."

you scream when he drags it unceremoniously down your front, narrowly missed tearing at your navel. there are a few pricks of pain here and there for when the knife accidentally nicked your skin. he sure was ruthless as can be. why did you even bother acting like a brat, cursed him out, when it gave you no benefits whatsoever? did he unknowingly transform you into this sick little masochist that thrived on his sadism?

"no."

it was a defeated whisper. the last of your resolve turning into dust as the breath escapes your lungs. why did losing feel so heavy in your chest? you don't notice your arms slumping, nor your head nodding off to one side, the weight of your horrible reality sinking into you once again as if you had only been kidnapped yesterday.

but it had not been yesterday. it's been days. weeks. months. and the last time you sneakily got ahold of mark's phone and searched for your name, the last news clip or article published about your disappearance had been three months ago. that only meant one thing.

they weren't looking for you anymore.

just like that the world continued, other people's lives continued. all the while you're stuck here, rotting in the arms of your captors.

haechan's face emerged in front of you. he smiles and you would've believed he felt an ounce of guilt if not for that wicked stare in his eyes. "you've always been most beautiful like this, gumdrop. the hope disappearing in your eyes upon the realization that no one's coming for you anymore – i love it. i love you, my pretty girl."

he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead but he might as well have shot you straight in the heart.

there was no warning, nothing to ready you for the sudden intrusion happening on your bottom half and it was so bad, that it made you shut your eyes, hands wrapping around the chains as tears started falling across your cheeks.

rough fingers reached out and wiped them away.

something felt off.

the fingers were too calloused, opposed to the softness of haechan's nimble fingers. and while the aforementioned male had more length than girth, the person who's thrusting himself inside you is the complete opposite. he's stretching you out too much, not even bothering to give you time to adjust when he's already bucking his hips like an animal.

"shh, it's okay. i'll take care of you…"

this wasn't haechan.

and when you fluttered your eyes open to see mark's boyish little face, you can't help that look of betrayal painting your features. at least you only had to deal with one obsessive, sex-deprived freak. now, you're not so sure if you can handle both of them.

how foolish of you to think that mark's self-induced celibacy stretched far and wide when in reality, he was also just a boy with his own needs. a slave to his own temptations.

how cruel. so, so cruel.

in the back of your mind, you were thankful haechan cared enough to properly get you in the mood or else you would've been staining the bed sheets red by how deep and frantic mark’s thrusts were. it felt like he wanted to tear you in half.

"if i didn't know better i'd say you're experienced, markie! i wouldn't fucking know you're a virgin by how much you're humping her like a dog.”

curse him and his dirty mouth. his constant degradation is making it easier for mark to slide in and out of you, and a proof for that is the lewd slick sounds echoing in the room partnered with the older male's deep grunts – a complete opposite of the pitched, whiny sounds haechan makes.

'gumdrop, come on! be noisy with our first-timer here just how you're always noisy with me, yeah? don't be such a killjoy." the pout in his voice is evident, coming from the side of your ear.

you wish you had never turned your head, otherwise you wouldn't have to see him pumping his own dick in his hands right in front of you. the glare you shot probably looked pathetic, what with all the tears streaming down your face and your little theory proves true when you see his mouth quirk up to the side.

"i fucking hate you."

"mark, fuck her harder, wouldja? until she learns her fucking lesson."

the disturbed stare you gave him does not slip his notice, his hand's pace turning erratic, spurred by the slick sound of your walls, skin clapping, and mark's broken whines.

make him stop, your eyes said. please.

but haechan only shoots you an innocent smile before shaking his head. "didn't you tell me to beat my meat with my own hands?"

taglist !!

@hoeartchoke @donghyukcore @stopknot @greenish-taro @stayvision @zhongriot @lmaoskz @zephyr-abyss @anonymous-stuff @josuke8 @jaemotel @gothboyjisung​

wanna be added to my general taglist? click here! ​

jenoluck (c) all rights reserved

[usertoxicyaoi]

I feel like these past four episodes, vegaspete absolutely stole the scene?? I know they're supposed to be a side couple but god GODDDDD, they were AMAZING, their story is so captivating and layered and!!!!!!! I also feel like BibleBuild just???????????? Killed it. Everything, to their body language, chemistry, micro expressions, voices... Idk if it's me just being insane about them or if anyone else agrees but I'd definitely watch a whole series solely about them 😭😭😭😭 (love kp and mileapo were amazing as well but I can't help it)

hiiiii anon!!!

yeah ... i .... yeah.

see vegaspete really do remind me of teamwin. they both just give off the same kinda energy to me (no wonder they both are my fave fave fave tv show couples).

like yeah some people will say its SCS (second/side couple syndrome) and all that comes with it - the ambiguity, the way you can produce more meta for them bc there's space and room and freedom to do so outside of what's canon/on the show.

and i get that. but for me, for both teamwin and vegaspete, its just ... its more than that.

there's some Real Trauma Unpacking with both couples. from very early on in the show, you could See there's chemistry and spice and trauma and a heaviness there. and then the show decides to not give you them for a while. and then as the audience, you're left wondering and waiting and Yearning for them to kick in again.

and that was the case. yes. but with both teamwin and vegaspete, i was never ever ever ever worried about time running out or it feeling too rushed. which has been the case sooooo many times with other side/second couples. no. with them, everything kicked towards the back end of the show, which made it so intense.

and, moreso for vegaspete than teamwin, since this ask is about vegaspete, it worked. it HAD to be that way.

vegaspete HAD to be shown at the end. bc otherwise it wouldnt have hit as intensely as it was supposed to had it been drawn out across the whole show from the start. from ep 10 to ep 14, the pacing of vegaspete was so measured and yet so quick and fast but also given time and space to grow and fester and breathe. and it took you from one high to another and then it KICKED YOU TO THE GROUND and then took you high again.

of course, acting and chemistry play a huuuuuuge part in it, and biblebuild GOT it. absolutely every element of it. what also helps is the aesthetics and cinematography with them too. the reds, blues, greens, purples, yellows, black and white outfits, religious imagery etc.

it does also help in the fact that vegaspete are so Obviously Fucked Up and its not even denied or hidden. so they could REALLY go places and go as far as they wanted to with them, bc it was made clear from the start that they are fucked up!!! thats their nature!!!! its just a matter of seeing HOW fucked up they are, and we totally got to see that.

another thing is how BOTH characters got their own focus as indiviuals. you got a backstory with both. we could get our hands super dirty by being given the chance to dig and dig and dig and SEE who both these characters and what their psyche are, when you take away the meat and flesh, and strip them down to their skeleton. and you saw them BOTH go through it individually, whilst being apart from one another, which makes their coming together even more sweeter.

and in the end, you get to see them get what they deserve. it isnt sugar coated or glossed over. no they had it UGLY. you feel the catharsis of pete beating vegas up bloody and of vegas breaking down in pete's arms as pete talks him out of comitting suicide and pete's RAGE at killing anyone who hurts vegas and vegas being absolutely stripped naked and bare with nothing left to show for who he was previously. and you feel the elation of seeing them choose one another when they are their most honest selves and versions, devote to one another despite EVERYTHING, and see them get a chance to have their shot at happiness with macau. their is a resolution that leaves you satisfied based on everything theyve been through to get to this point here. and it feels DESERVED. rightfully deserved.

[frosted-night]

Jack Frost Designs Review

Yes it’s finally his time. This is going to include his book designs including previous incarnations in said books. There are more movie concept designs than book so, let’s dig in shall we?

This was in fact the first ever Jack Joyce designed while he came up with The Guardians Of Childhood. He even comes with his own backstory! (Which was cut. Sorry Joyce posts walls of text so it’s a girthy read.)

So instead of a young mischievous trickster, we got a much more depressing story of Jack. (Jack by default is sad obviously) but this one... It kind of hits differently and almost reminds me of the story he crafted for Pitch. A dad who tried to defend his family but through tragic events was ripped from them and changed completely. Design wise, he’s a lot more tree than snow. There doesn’t exist a colored version of this so we’ll never know if he sported winter and dull dead leaf colors rather than grassy greens.This Jack has a weird presence to him, I can’t put my finger on it. Rating: 6/10 He’s really neat! Just a little too Autumn feeling rather than a blend of both Autumn and Winter.

Nightlight feels like the baby evolution if Jack was a pokemon and that's what I’m gonna stick with. Below is a more recent version of him colored.

In all honesty that one is easier on the eyes proportion wise because sometimes Joyce has ‘interesting’ anatomy choices but we aint going into that today. It’s interesting how his hair somehow looks shorter and longer than Jack’s at the same time. Could be because the longer strands float seamlessly but star boy hair physics what can ya do. It’s a little hard to tell what is his skin and what is his armor, so that is a casuality in making a character only have one or two colors in their color scheme. I love other artist’s depictions of Nightlight but the canon one feels a little weak color wise. Rating: 5/10 Sorry, get some better LEDs and then come back.

Here we have a book Jack but I can’t entirely recall if this was used in the books or not. I digress. This design looks like him still wearing very Nightlight-esque armor/clothing and slowly growing into his new persona as Jack Frost. The intricacies are hard to make out but we’ll work with it. This one is very interesting to me because he very much looks like an older teen close to young adult. His hair looks very fluffy too. Not many complaints about this one but not much praise either.

Rating: 6/10 Not great but doesn’t stand out that much.

Remember when I said Joyce had ‘interesting’ anatomy decisions? Jack looks like he has half a head here and it bothers me GREATLY. This is the adult Jack design he went with. Supposedly he likes the opera and he sure looks it. This! Exists!! Kind of wish it didn’t. The outfit is nice but it just doesn’t fit Jack as a whole. This just screams to me that it’s someone else with a similar-ish hairstyle.

Rating: 3/10 Guess he’d be the...Phantom Of The Opera. (I’ll go home and so should he.)

And finally the final Jack. This is the one that almost exactly resembles the Jack we got in the movies(Probably because it was made after the movie but w/e) but just add a cape on him. I can’t really tell if hes got a hoodie and a cape, or just a cloak+hood on top of a sweatshirt. It isn’t too important because my thoughts on this one are obvious. Rating: 10/10 Edna Mode would have a field day with you boy.

MOVIE DESIGN TIME

Joyce claims this is a design he drafted when Leonardo DiCaprio was considered to voice Jack and I can kind of see that with how his face is drawn here. This Jack looks a lot more like a warrior and less of that trickster look. I can’t say I’m a fan of the weird antenna his hood has but his sword is really cool looking.

Rating: 4/10 Nice bow and sword but it can’t save your fashion choices.

This looks like a lanky 11-13 year old who would put rocks or slugs in my shoes and relish in my disgust. He has the exact look of a snot nose kid and I’m unsure how to feel about it.

His various hairstyles drafted here sort of make him softer looking or just more of a snot nose, no in between. Maybe even an Anime Protagonist.

The top right one almost looks like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon if you squint. It’ll be a little hard to rate them all as one individual but why not.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate them but they aren’t my cup of tea.

AH- IS THAT A FUCKIN GREMLIN?

Oh wait no it isn’t he looks like a 10 year old. Whatever don’t feed him after midnight. The staff’s design of not being shaped like a G is an interesting tidbit but the whole design looks like he’s really young or like a troll etc. This Jack looks like he thinks girls have cooties uses outdated slang.

Rating: 4/10 This is me being generous.

It honestly looks like he hiked his pants up all the way to his chest. A late teen with horrid fashion choices once again. Not many other thoughts here.

Rating: 2/10 Get a sweater on or something.

This is one is very interesting looking to me. His clothes looked a lot more leather based and very human-like. The tatters, tears and frays all make him look like he was a victim of an accident that never changed his clothes. It makes me wonder if this Jack had the same death as the final movie Jack or something else entirely. Either way, this one looks like hes a mid to late teen which really adds to my intrigue.

This was another image that greatly resembled the design so I included it here. It almost looks like his skin is blue here which is pretty neat to me at least. He’s also got leaf motifs here, which from the first Jack design Joyce made, we can see a pattern here.

Rating: 8 /10 I was originally weirded out by his head but now its not so bad.

This Jack is definitely dressed more like a nature boy rather than him having human influenced fashion and it’s an appealing touch. The tiny leaf sprouting from his staff is also kind of cute since the designers seemed to want to put leafs somewhere on his designs. His hairstyle is also very cute but it reminds me of Sasuke Uchiha in a sense. (Not a setback for me at least)

Rating: 7/10 13 year old Jack is going thru a phase.

I thought this Jack didn’t show up again in story boards but I was wrong!

They look a little different from each other but just similar enough to pair together, so bare with me. The first one obviously has looser pants, slightly longer sleeves and got his leaf motif going. This second Jack is a VERY green. It gives the impression that this Jack made his clothes out of plants and natural materials. Again I’m not wholly sure if greens fit his color scheme but they sure went for it for a while. I can’t say I’m a fan of it because it heavily reminds me of Peter Pan.

However a very similar looking Jack could be found in this storyboard. It doesn’t look as green as the other storyboards made it out to be and looks more like dead grass. Which is a pretty nice touch.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate it but it just doesn’t vibe yknow.

Speaking of a vibe...hoo this certainly has one.  This Jack isn’t old but certainly doesn’t look very young, maybe in the 20-30 range, thats just me. He has facial features that remind me of Pitch but resembles the Jack Frost of Santa Clause 3

That being said, I wondered if him looking similar to Pitch was in the storyline of them being brothers.(Which was a scrapped thing, who knew.) He’s a bit more menacing in this design but certainly seems like he relishes in his work.

Rating: 4/10 I’d make it a lower score but I gotta give it props

NOW THIS JACK IS KINDA INTERESTING. This one looks like he’s 16 and going through a grunge phase. He’s gonna play Nirvana loudly and not turn it down even if you tell him too. His staff itself has mini icicles hanging off of it and leafs look stuck to his shirt. Did you glue or staple those on Jack? His hair also looks much longer than his other designs and I kind of dig it( Shut up I’m bias.) I’m not wholly sure why else this design has stuck with me but it just has something about it that I just love. I wish there was a full body drawing of it.

(He also kinda has the same hair as the Jack Frost in Runescape but I wont go on about that hoo hoo)

Rating: 9/10 *Bad Boy by Cascada plays in the distance*

This one definitely feels like middleschooler trying to be in a band. His sticks just resemble drumsticks to me what can I say. I’m a big fan of his shoes and his color scheme screams a hibernating tree in winter. His hair also looks like it’s covered in frost rather than it being wholly white, which is very neat!! He looks like he wants to fight but has slight hesitance. Overall a very balanced Jack.

Rating: 8/10 He’s ready for band practice

Not many thoughts here, I just found these tiny Jack designs cute. His hoodie being a jacket instead just adds to the charm of this one.

No talk to him he angy.

Rating: 6/10 fun sized boi

Now this Jack resembles the one earlier that dressed entirely in leather brown colors, however he clearly is different than that one. I’m gonna say it, he looks like a zombie or undead in this design and its pretty fucking gnarly. I don’t know whats going on with his hair but I’m gonna assume it’s just the wind making it look like that. He just has the vibe that he was once human but was turned into something else entirely. It isnt in uncanny territory but borders that. This version of Jack meeting Pitch and the others would have been *very* interesting. Rating: 7/10 Eat a twinkie Jack you’ll feel better.

The final design! I can’t complain much about this one. The way his staff subtly has a G shape and a hexagon(his signature shape) is a wonderful touch. Additionally, the way the frost is gathered mostly where his hand is such an intricate detail. His signature hoodie is iconic at this point so I can’t bad mouth that either.(I can’t anyway because there's no complaints from me here.) Although, I never understood the leather straps that his pants had or their functions. I couldn’t find any colonial outfits that resembled Jack’s pants so its a total mystery to me at least.

And I can’t go on about this design until I mention the snowflake pattern in his eyes

Pure beauty. It’s at a hue of blue that almost looks impossible to have, combined with the electric blue color of the snowflake in his eyes. The amount of detail in this movie amazes me to this day. Rating: One Great Blizzard <3/10

[extravaguk]

#JeonJungkookIsOverParty 05

pairing: jungkook x reader

summary: in which Jungkook is going through IT

wordcount: 4k

genre: fake dating!au, college!au | fluff, smut (yes it's here yes it's happening), angsty (again jk is going through IT)

warnings: language, the problem with social media and cancel culture, oc is honestly the best bestie ever, oral sex (m recieving), kinda sub jk but not rlly, overuse of the word pretty.

author’s note: isnt it funny how i can spend days with literally 0% of motivation and then bam, i write a chapter in just a few hours? anyway x2

taglist: @spicybangtanwings @dulcehobi @mysugarkoo @eektaetae @jeojahari @mwitsmejk @di0rgguk @the1921-monsters @c4lico @drownforryou @re-rewind

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

If there is one thing you regret lately, is spending too much time accidentally staring at Jungkook.

It is accidental, or thats what you keep telling yourself. You don't really mean to do it as much as you do. Seriously. But can anyone blame you? It's not your fault he's recently gotten a haircut that showcases even more his facial features. It's not your fault he's just had his eyebrow pierced. Or the fact that the warm weather allows him to wear short sleeved t-shirts and the ink on his skin makes you distract yourself from work.

You're starting to think it must be a blessing and a curse to be so good looking.

A curse for you as well, because Jungkook might be dumb on the surface, but when it comes to female attention, he knows exactly what he's doing.

"Are you checking me out?"

Yes, you totally were. The veins on his neck, the sharp jawline, the dark eyelashes and the cherry chapstick stained lips are just too enticing not to. You merely shaked your head, fixed your glasses on the tip of your nose, stubbornly denying his claims, and went back to work. However, Jungkook is not the type of person to let things go that easy.

"You're making it weird." you tell him one day, because he really was. Basically cat-walking his way to you every day, taking smooth steps towards you like he was a supermodel. Which he could. Or dramatically pushing his hair back like he was expecting you to say "Your hair looks sexy pushed back'. Or unnecessarily flexing his muscles everytime he placed a cup of coffee -that he'd paid for- on your desk. As if you wouldn't notice them any other way. Also, the paper cup of coffee wasn't heavy at all.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Let me grab that pen for you." or, like right now, bending over to pick up the pen that he, not so subtly, had purposefully dropped on the floor a few seconds ago. And, wait a minute, did he just bent and snapped? Great, now you were also regretting recommending him the classic cult Legally Blonde movies. "Do you like these jeans? I think they make my ass pretty checkoutable. Don't you think they make my ass look pretty checkoutable?"

"You need to stop making up words that don't even make sense." You say, snatching the pen from his hand and ignoring the fact that, yes, they did make him look, in fact, pretty checkoutable.

"And you need to stop checking me out unless you're going to kiss me."

The way your face heats up in embarassment makes you want to dig a hole in the ground to bury yourself in it.

"It happened one time."

"It happens everytime. I keep count."

You take your glasses off, pinching the bridge of your nose with your fingers. Jungkook wonders if you'd noticed that he stares at you probably even more frequently than you stare at him. He also can't decide wether he likes you more with or without glasses on. No, scratch that. He definitely finds you equally gorgeous with and without glasses on.

"You're so annoying." you say standing up from your seat. And now you also regret that as he moves closer in front of you.

"You're annoying! What's wrong with checking out a handsome pal like me? There's obviously some sexual tension between you and I, and I think we should resolve it with a hot make out session." it's moments like this when you can't decypher if he's just joking or not.

"This fixation of yours with making out with me when nobody's around is so fascinating."

"Well," he licks his lips and you pretend it has no effect on you. "Maybe I just really want to kiss you again."

Jungkook is usually very bold and blunt with his words and actions. Very confident in whatever situation, especially when it comes to women. He really hopes you don't notice the faint hesitation in his voice when he says that. He hopes you don't realize he's a bit afraid of your possible rejection.

But rejecting Jungkook? Who would do that? Especially considering how his kisses make fireworks go off around you and lift you off the ground immediately.

So, no, you don't reject him. You let him place a hand on your waist, you let him bring you closer until his lips are on yours. You let him slip his tongue inside your mouth, and you let him swallow the sound with one of his own. Kissing Jungkook goes from sweet to eager so quickly it makes you scared. Because it also makes you allow his hungry hands explore unknown territory, like slightly tracing the hem of your skirt.

It almost makes you feel lost when his thumb very lightly caresses the side of your breast, your nipples perking up under the fabric of your bra and polo shirt. But he never goes too far. He just keeps tasting you as you keep tasting him. You don't even care that the library's desk is painfully digging into the small of your back.

Jungkook has spent the past few weeks in a great mood. He's been sleeping well, whistling tunes of songs that he doesn't know the name of, giving great performances on the field, even brushing his teeth after every packet of Sour Patches he devoured. And he even gets to kiss you every now and then, even when people aren't looking!

Could he get any luckier?

Because, really, things have been going great for him. You and him must be better actors than either of you realize, because people have bought the fantasy and they're eating it right up. The rumors have slow down, the Instagram account has lost many followers and students are back to smiling up at him in the hallways instead of sending him murderous glances and sliding into his DM's with death threats.

Jungkook feels hopeful, Jungkook is starting to see the silver lining, he's starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, he's starting to think that maybe things could go back to norm-

"Jeon Jungkook, you fucking cheater!" it's one girl he's never seen before that yells at him as he walks around campus one day. "How could you do something like that to _____? You're the scum of the earth!"

"Huh?" is the only thing he manages to say, because what the fuck? Jungkook may be a lot of things, but being a cheater is not one of them. Unless the girl is talking about that English test he 'miraculously' passed in seventh grade, or him making up meaningless words while playing Scrabble.

But of course, the random girl is not talking about that.

You're studying for a Literature test when Lisa tells you the news.

"Bestie, have you seen this?"

The post shows Jungkook at what seems like a frat party, sprawled on a couch with an unknown girl sitting on his lap. The picture looks too intimate, with his hands spread on her thighs and his tounge inside her mouth.

"It's fake." you shrug.

"What do you mean it's fake? It's clearly real."

"It is real, it's just old. His hair looks longer, and the tattoos on his arm are unfinished. That must have been way before we met each other." you simply explain. You've only looked at the picture for a few seconds and immediately recognized that it was just one of Yeji, Yuna and Ryujin's strategies to destroy Jungkook's reputation. You don't know when you started paying so much attention to Jungkook's physical features to know when was picture is outdated or not, regardless, the strange feeling in your gut leaves a bitter aftertaste in your mouth after looking at it.

"Oh" Lisa stares at her phone screen again. "You're right, he does look different."

You hum in response. "Jungkook is not that type of person."

"I can explain." ever since they two of you started hanging out together, Jungkook has adopted this terribly annoying tendency of showing up to wherever you were unannounced. Like right now, chiming into your dorm without an invitation. "That picture happened a long time ago, the girl even graduated college last year, so it couldn't have been-"

He's not sure why he's trying to clear the air considering you're not even his real girlfriend. But something about you having a wrong idea of him bothers him more than anyone thinking he's a terrible person who's into eating dog turds and buying drugs on the Deep Web. Yes, those things were also being said about him. And, for the record, the dog turd thing happened when he was four years old, and the drugs he buys are from Lil Stewie, his local drug dealer, not the Deep Web. As if he was smart enough to enter the Deep Web by himself.

"I know." you were working on a peper due monday before Jungkook intervened into your atmosphere. You're calm and collected as you keep typing on your laptop. "You don't have to be a genius to know. Although I guess most people on campus are definitely not used to using their brain anyway."

Jungkook deflates the second he sits on your bed. He feels more relaxed, knowing he won't have to explain himself to you. But he still feels like no matter what he does, he's always back to square one.

"This is so exhausting. People were starting to leave me alone and now they're back to hating me."

"You should stop checking that page. People believe we're dating. My friends and your friends believe we're dating. We're doing fine." you're debating on whether or not you should share with him what your friends think about the two of you.

'The way he was looking at you that day that you went on your rant about Karl Marx was priceless.He looked like he was about to pounce you at any minute.' Taehyung had said to you a few days ago.

"I swear he had a boner."

"He was high as fuck, too."

Maybe it's better if you keep that bit of information to yourself.

Something about your tone, so serene and almost nonchalant is starting to annoy Jungkook. "It's easy for you to say that, since you're not the one being called misogonistic and a bunch of other shit."

You inhale and exhale, turning around on your swivelled chair. "For the billionth time, Jeon, it's misogynistic."

"Okay, you're so much smarter than me, I get it." it must have been the stress he's been going through, because now he feels really irritated. "Next time you see me, I'll have misog-mis- mysog- that word you just said tattooed on my forehead."

You roll your eyes, knowing better than to entertain him, and go back to writing your paper with your back to him. "Knowing you, you'll still spell it the wrong way."

"I won't." he grunts before he leaves. During this past month and a half, this is the first time you've seen Jungkook this upset, and you'd be lying if you said him leaving your room that way didn't also leave an sense of emptiness in your chest as well.

im sad nd drunk and the word misogynistic is writ t en on my 4head

can i cum over

The text arrives at 1 a.m., the message notification wakes you up when your phone screen lights up your entire room. You've -purposely- forgot to set your phone on night mode.

i bet you're already outside my dorm, he can't see the faint smile on your features

HEhe is what he replies with, confirming your assumptions. However, there's no trace of humor on his face when you let him in. He steps inside dejected, dragging his feet on the floor and not muttering a single word.

When he sits on your bed with his head hanging low, you're not sure how to approach the situation. You've seen Jungkook go through many emotions since you've met him; from desperation, to disappointment, to anger. But a quiet Jungkook not lifting his chin up and not throwing around silly words or funny sentences that mostly don't make sense makes you feel some type of way that you don't know how to handle.

"The marker was permanent." is all he says, still not looking at you. "Jimin tried to take it off with a baby wipe but... It's still there."

"Well, try to see it this way: you finally learned how to spell it correctly." your attempts at lightening up his mood are in vain. He doesn't laugh at all, doesn't even move an inch. You take a deep breath, unfolding your arms from under your chest to take a bottle of nail polish remover and face cream from your shelf.

"Let me take a look." you say with as much softness as you can when you stop in front of him.

He raises his head, but mantains his eyes closed. He simpy lets you wet the cotton pad with the acetone to wipe off the sharpie's ink off his skin. None of you say anything and all he can think about is how gently you're treating him. It feels too good to have your hand under his chin, and your fingers applying face cream on his forehead to prevent it from demage after the stains are completely removed.

You don't remove yourself though, nor your hands. You're starting to get to know Jungkook better and you're slowly realizing how much he craves physical touch whenever he's not okay.

So you keep caressing him with a care you didn't know you had in you, fixing the short strands of hair away from his face, stroking the scar on his left cheek, brushing his eyebrows in place. Your heart hurts when he instinctively chases the warmth of your touch. Your heart hurts even more when he finally finds the courage to speak.

"Can I tell you a secret?" for someone who claims he's drunk, he definitely doesn't sound like it.

"Of course."

"I really feel like crying right now."

Regardless of not knowing Jungkook for too long, you still feel for him. As your mother would say, your ability to tune in to other people's feelings and emotions was out of this worldBut for some odd reason, that ability gets even stronger when it comes to Jungkook's sentiments.

"Go ahead. I got you."

Jungkook is not a quiet person. He is usually loud, capable of bringing any type of attention to him with a snap of his fingers. He gets into freestyle rap battles with his friends, sometimes break dances out of nowhere if he's drunk enough, and he's annoyingly noisy when doing simple tasks.

But sad Jungkook, the Jungkook that lets go of the infamous golden boy, soccer star persona is soundless. He's completely still, he doesn't cry hysterically like you do when your favourite fictional character goes through difficulties in the books you read. And if it wasn't for the one tear you notice escaping his eyelids, you'd doubt he was crying at all.

In that moment you realize that Jeon Jungkook is not used to this. Not used to feeling sad or upset over stuff, specially not over other people's opinions. And you realize, yet again, that you're not sure how to act.

So following your instincs, you just let him get it out however he wants to. Slowly moving closer until his head is resting against your chest, and your fingers stroking through his hair.

It takes a while for him to trust right now. A part of him thinks he should be embarrassed or ashamed of how he's feeling. Of how he's letting somebody see him in this state. Somebody he's met only a month ago, who he proposed being his fake girlfriend to. He should feel guilty even, considering he's got you into all this mess and now you probably feel obligued to cater to him and his stupid emotions.

But, at the end of the day, you're the only one who's had his back over the past six weeks. You're the only one who's listened to him, trusted him for no reason at all, and gave him words of encouragement to power through it all.

So he lets go. He wraps his arms around your waist, slightly separates his legs so you can come between them, and brings you closer.

He doesn't know how you do it. He really doesn't. You don't even have to say a word, and this hug is enough to not give a shit about appearences or who he is or what is going on around him. You're here, and you being here makes his worries go away even if it's only for a couple of minutes.

"I feel so weak and pathetic right now." he murmurs against your heart, and your heart beats in response.

"We feel sad sometimes, Jungkook. It just happens. We're not weak or pathetic because of it. We're human." your cheek rests ontop of his head and he's afraid if he hugs you any closer he might hurt you.

"I don't think you're human."

"Hm?"

"Humans cannot be this pretty." Jungkook really wishes he could have a dictionary right now to look for synonyms that could truly describe you. Because in his mind, pretty falls too short.

But in your mind, and in your chest, his words have an effect that he's not even aware of. It's what prompts you to lift his head and kiss his lips. He tastes faintly of whiskey and energy drink. He sighs into it, his face already dry because you've managed to make him feel so much more serene, so much more calm. It's what prompts you to straddle him with both your legs on either side of him. And that's what prompts him to grip you even tighter to his body.

Making out with Jungkook has never gone too far. Just a few kisses here in there in the hallways when he walks you to class, or stolen kisses at the library when nobody's noticing the two of you. Sometimes it gets passionate and it has you both aching for more. But it always stops before it can begin.

This time, however, there's no context. No storyline and no plot. Just a depressed himbo and a smart girl who instantly makes him feel better. Which is exactly what you want to do. So you interwine your tongue with his, you respond to each other with little moans and barely any air to breath.

Your hips move before you can realize what they're doing. The cotton shorts you usually wear to sleep suddenly feel like they're in the way, because Jungkook's cock is screaming to be liberated from the confines of his jeans. When you feel it, you realize exactly what you want to do.

"Wait," he stops when you tug at the belt. "If this is going to be just a sympathy fuck for you, please don't."

You can see Jungkook's vulnerability through his eyes and you kiss him in return again. "I just want to make my boyfriend feel good."

You've heard of manifestation before. Of how the words you speak can bring things into existence. You're not sure if it's real or not. You don't know if you're doing it unaware or on purpose. You don't care to think about it right now, though.

But it's apparently true. Manifestation through words does work. Or maybe it's your tongue tracing over his bottom lips and curvature of his neck. Or maybe it's your pussy enticing him through the layers of fabric like a siren's singing. Whatever it is, it seems real.

It feels real also. Just a boyfriend leaning back on his girlfriend's mattress and letting her take over, letting her make his partner feel good after weeks of stress and anxiety.

You don't take his shirt off no matter how much you want to. Because you also want to stuff your mouth with him until he's cumming inside as soon as possible. So you settle on dropping wet kisses on any centimeter of skin available. You do peel it enough to trace his defined abs with your tongue as your hands finally unzip his jeans. When you cup him over his boxers, he grinds into your palm. He's so thick and so hard you can't help rutting your core against his thigh.

He doesn't say much, just releases shaky breaths every now and then. He even helps you by raising his hips so you can pull down his underwear enough to free him completely.

Your mouth waters at the sigh. You don't waste any more time, letting a glob of spit coat the crown. Your hand spreads it to the base and he pulsates in your grip. When you wrap your mouth around the tip, he lets out a gasp that makes you look up.

When you do, he's staring right back at you. He's been staring at you this whole time, with his lips wet from licking them too much and his mouth slightly ajar. His eyes are glassy, his hair is messy and his hand is fidgeting on his stomach like it wants to take action.

It makes your panties even wetter, sticking to your folds and ruining your shorts. You notice his adam's apple when he gulps. "Haven't had one of these in so long." he almost whispers.

"How long?" you question, your tongue giving kitten licks as your hand slowly works his shaft.

"Since the moment I realized I wanted you to be my girlfriend."

You don't know if Jungkook knows how much simple sentences like that make you feel. It's not fair that everytime he says something sweet like that, your heart constrains against your chest so much you're afraid it's about to burst. It's not fair because saying stuff like that when you're both by yourselves is not part of the script. But you can't explain to him with words right now that romantic words like that is not good for any of you.

So you choose to not let him know by fully taking him in your mouth. You may have sucked dick before, you may have given blowjobs to guys who probably didn't even deserve it. You may have enjoyed some of them while others you didn't. But this one brings a completely different feeling.

This one makes you want more. This one makes you not want to stop.

"You can touch me." you tell him after a while of bobbing your head up and down and trying to take as much of him as you can.

That's the green light he needed. The submissive Jungkook a few seconds ago who laid back and let you take control seems to disappear.

His fidgety hand moves on its own until he's brushing your hair back because he needs to see your face. He wishes it wasn't so dark in your room, because he needs to see your lips coated in your saliva and his precum. He needs to see the sweatbeds forming on your hairline and the earrings you're wearing glittering in the light. He needs you see your eyelashes damp with your tears that tell him he's too big for you but you still want him so bad. He needs to see your nipples through your tank top and the wet stain on your shirts.

But he'll take whatever he can. And having his dick down your throat is more than he could ever dream of.

"Y-you look even prettier like this, my G-god." he's not one to stutter, ever. "Your mouth- ah! So fucking good I want to d-die."

He says to himself that it just has been too long since he recieved head from someone, but he knows he's lying. He knows the reason his body his shaking uncontrollably and there's goosebumps all over his body is you, and you only.

He also knows it's the reason he's-

"Gonna cum." it's a pathetic whine, he knows, but your mouth is so warm and your tongue is so skilled and the thought of cumming in your mouth is beyond any of his expectations. It almost feels too wonderful to be true.

He almost whines again when you pull back. "Wanna swallow everything." it's a split second where he gets to hear your raspy voice, see the saliva running down your chin and your eyes sparkling in the moonlight with tears. It's a split second because you're immediately getting back to work but it's enough to do as he warned.

"P-pretty, so fucking pretty, baby."

It's probably the best blowjob he's ever got and you did swallow everything. His body feels like he's run a marathon and his hand is still buried in your hair. His chest feels like he's telling him something he's not sure he wants to hear.

And you're left thinking about the fact that he'd called you 'baby' and it felt too real to fake.

[munsnz]

Bittersweet Critic — Steve Harrington ☘︎︎

TW: Cussing??

Requested: None

Pairing: Steve Harrington x GN! Reader

Lydinous Radio: Bittersweet— Kennen

Summary: Steve is sick and tired after working at Family Video for months after the Starcourt incident. Christmas break comes up, meaning more people coming over to their homes. Unlike him, a witty college student comes by for an odd request, making him look like that douche from years back. Days later, he finds this person again, wanting to apologize for the prude actions from the previous..

Masterlist — Requests are open!

Another boring day.

Cold everywhere.

Showing where the bathroom was.

Rummaging through movie posters.

Checking out the pretty girls.

Organizing VHS shelves.

Another Thursday in the cold mornings in Hawkins, Indiana. Steve Harrington had been sick of working at Family Video after working here for 3 months since the incident in July. Now he and Robin were taking different shifts in days and rarely got time to work together at the same times. Watching the customers coming in and out of the store, he sighed due to boredom working there. He would’ve been off to college, possibly coming back for Christmas Break since everyone was coming home for Christmas. More families and couples came in and out of the store now, happy-looking faces, and cheerful moods. Steve realized how lonely he was, after his heartbreak with Nancy, the rejection from Robin, just grew on him, leaving him with the group of kids he mentally adopted. Where was he going with his life now? Was there a possible future for him? Is there-

“Hello? Are you deaf or something?”

The voice made him snap out of his thoughts and feelings to find a conventional rather good-looking person who stood upon him. Steve shakes his head to focus on his attention. “Sorry I was..... I was.....”

”Distracted?” You smiled at him and tapped your fingers on the counter.

Steve nods at your response and shrugs, “I suppose you’re correct.”

“I’m always correct,” You boasted while trying to sound humble about it. There was a silent chuckle shared between the two of you, but continued with the silence, “Anywho, I was wondering if you could give me a good movie recommendation.”

”A what now?” He questioned while being throughly confused by the weird request given by this person who he had just met in 5 minutes.

You sigh at his reaction and lean closer, “I need a good movie recommendation.”

”Oh... Oh...Right,” Steve looks around, trying to remember the movies he’s seen. Although working at a video store, it was hard to keep up with the most popular movies nowadays. He snaps with his fingers and looks up at you, “Back to the future is a good one.”

”I’ve watched it and it wasn’t that good.”

Well, there went one shot. Steve tried to keep concentration in this memory from the last film he saw while dozing off to look at you. Realizing another movies, he chuckles, “Star Wars?”

”A new hope?” You say, furrowing your eyebrows. It reminded Steve when he first got the job at this shithole.

”I don’t really know,” He mumbles, digging his fingers into his hair and watches you cross your arms.

“Well isnt this store supposed to have good staff that actually know a bit about film?”

Steve squints his eyes and clicks his tongue, “Well, I’m just a teenage boy who couldn’t get into college and is trying to earn a living, so I don’t know much.”

“Oh,” You sigh, looking down at your feet, and slide your paper from a notebook harshly across the counter, “Thanks for the help dipshit.”

”Are you a movie critic or something?” He desperately blurts out, wanting to continue to talk to someone,making you turn back to him.

In awe, you look at him up and down, sternly as you said, “I’m not, but I’m studying to work in the film industry in the future as if I’m here to fill out this assignment about the public’s perception on movies, but it’s okay if you don’t want to help, you don’t seem like it.”

”No! It’s actually okay,” Steve apologizes, softening his face and extended his hand to give him the paper, “I really got nothing else to do.”

You watched his hand, almost with pleading eyes to do something in such boredom he was in. After a hot minute of decided, you smiled and breathed to walk away to the exit of the store, “No thank you dipshit! Just remember first impressions are important!”

”What?” Steve gasps, with his mouth open at such rejection, watching you swiftly walk outside into your car to drive off. First impressions were important, he had looked like a total asshole in front of them. Now this was just a huge blow for him, no luck.

☘︎︎ ☘︎︎ ☘︎︎

“So..... what are you doing tomorrow?” Dustin questions, shuffling his feet in the snowy cement, putting his small hands in his pockets to avoid frostbite.

Steve sniffs, watching the people inside relaxing inside the cafe on a Tuesday morning in Hawkins, it was still Christmas break and now both guys were going to have their own day after the holidays.

”I don’t know, I’ll probably catch a movie,” He sighs, shivering in the snow falling on his hair. Watching the people inside, he sees that one familiar person. That movie critic. Different it was though, the person looked awfully stressed with a huge amount of papers scurried everyone on the table, not that one put together person he saw a few days back. His stomach dropped at the sight, not wanting to interact with them, “oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, can we cancel this? I’m not comfortable.”

Dustin looked up at Steve, “Why not? We get a free time to hang out together, I heard they give the best hot chocolate!” Seeing Steve flustered, Dustin turned to see at what he was looking at before getting so weird, it seemed to be a person, somewhat Steve’s age, good-looking meanwhile scribbling notes onto sheets of paper. He hangs his mouth open and nudges Steve with a sly smile, “Oooooh! Someone’s got a crush!”

”Shut up,” He snaps, making Dustin stop giggling like an idiot. Steve gulps and feels a bit anxious about it, after all this time, why did he feel this way?

“Try talking to them,” Steve’s friend advices, both of them watching her through the window in deep concentration, “Until you feel the electricity.”

Steve glances at Dustin, “Don’t use my advice against me.”

”It’s not that bad, Steve,” Dustin claims, moving his jacket around a bit, “Maybe this is your chance.”

”Chance,” He scoffs at the comment, “I haven’t felt like this in months, what ever happened to the glory days where everybody would fall for me at first sight?”

“They probably like you,” Dustin shrugs and looks up at his friend hopelessly sigh, “What’s the matter? Do they not?”

“Well......” He mumbles, trailing off, “I made a really bad impression on them, they came over to the store and I seemed like an asshole, they don’t like me.”

After peering through the window, both boys noticed that same person’s eyes meet theirs. Panicked, they looked away rapidly, trying to not make the situation awkward. The person they were eyeing went back to their task, Dustin ran to the door, dragging Steve inside, “Go talk to them.”

Steve flattened his jacket and breathed deeply, feeling Dustin’s pudgy hands push him forward, making the bell ring as soon as he walked inside. Feeling awkward, he slowly trudged towards the table where you were sitting.

”Hey,” He shyly whispered, ruffling his hands inside his sweater, you looked up to meet his warm, brown eyes, confused of who this might be.

”Hey?” You watch him stand weirdly in front of you, feeling a sense of awkwardness in the air, “Take a seat if you want.”

Steve pulls the chair back to sit, scooting himself forward into the table. He looked over at Dustin who was grinning from the outside of the cafe, “How are you?”

”Fine, but have we met?” You squinted, trying your best to remember him, although you couldn’t, then went back to scurrying through your assignments.

”I believe so,” He watches you scurry through more and more assignments, writing quick notes on each page, “What are you working on?”

After finishing the second to last pair of notes, you reply, “Assignments, it’s crazy how college still wants to make you work your ass even though you’re on break. And how have we met?”

”Film student right?” The comment he made making you look up, he was correct. You nodded, watching his every move on how he knew, he sighs and goes on, “Well I’m that asshole that couldn’t do your stupid assignment for college.”

Wide eyed, you nodded your head and breathily giggled, “Oh yeah, the dipshit.”

”The dipshit,” He nervously repeated, remembering the brood impression he made on you, “Yeah so...... how did that go?”

”No one else wanted to do it,” You huffed as the memories of what dick he had been towards you, he seemed sorry for you, rapidly making sharp eye contact and looking away.

Steve watched your expressions changed as your thoughts did too, “Sorry about that.” Was all he said.

“It’s whatever,” You shrug, getting irritated a bit, but before you could comment anything else, he blurted out.

”Wecouldgowatchamovietogetheranddothatwork.”

All you did was giggle at his flustering comment he gave you, he looked so hopeless and dazed off. Taking a sip of your French Roast coffee, feeling the bitter taste touch your taste buds, a new burst of energy filling you, you scratched your head, “Not so easy..... Dipshit. A. I don’t even know your name and who you are, B. you’re desperate.”

”I- w-what?” His words tumbled off his mouth, denying the answer, “I’m not, I-I just wanna help you.”

His dumbfounded expression made it harder for you not to laugh, “It’s okay, I was just teasing you. And I’m free around 4, if that works out.”

”O-oh, yeah I mean I have work but a day to skip won’t hurt,” Steve chuckles, feeling tingly around his hands, he had never felt this for years on end. Cliche much right?

You raised your eyebrows up and a tiny smile escaped your lips, “Okay, just so you know, it’s going to be a challenge to warm up to me.”

He nods his head, bringing his hands together in front of you, “Well I’m up for that challenge!”

”You dipshit.”

”You movie critic.”

[hobilluvvr]

lost ocean troubles | 2

college au! sub!armin x dom!reader

words - 2.7k

warnings - vomit, blood, mentions of abuse , injuries

parts - |

~

so incredibly sorry for this late update but testing season is approaching and I need to study sadly :/ this part is very rough with spelling errors and grammar but will be revised later !

please enjoy this update and constructive criticism is always welcomed :D . If you want to be added to the tag list please don’t hesitate to ask !

taglist - @haikyoonn @kenmas-nintendoswitch

~

The flowers had this magnificent pale blue color to them, the sun hitting them just at the right angle and the sage leaves accented the stem, the weight of the beautiful petals making the stem slightly wilt downwards .

this piqued armins interest, so much so that he walked towards them , feet trudding against the soft sand. As he comes close the overwhelming smell of coconut with a hint of sea saltseasalt overwhelmes his senses, his nose srunching up in question, the scent resembling of clean linen,a quite odd observation , even more so for a flower .

Just as he reaches to pick the flower up, the sun all of the sudden blazes furiously, the rays bouncing everywhere and blinding armin, now groaning as he squirms in abrupt discomfort. His feet dig at the sand … or what was the sand… the feeling of plush fabric instead meeting his skin, surrounding his body in comfort and warmth.

Snuggling further into this random source of heat, the sudden realization hits him. His eyes open the tiniest bit and he stops for a moment … this isnt the beach… in fact he’s laying on a bed… an unknown bed

At this his body jolts upward and armin frantically looks around his surroundings, the white pillows and the grey blanket not correlating in his mind as his. ‘This isnt my room’ the panic quickly sets in, quickly throwing the blanket aside and standing up abruptly which proves to be a grave mistake as a headache and the urge to vomit surges up his throat.

He clutches his stomach as he runs to the bathroom ,quickly kneeling over the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach, the acidity already making his throat burn angrily. The sound of quick footsteps echo the walls and he goes to turn his head towards the door when the second round of bile threatens to escape his throat.

His ingers clutch the toilet ,violently puking when a second presence is felt . armin feels someone kneel next to him and gently rub at his back

“Its okay , its okay ,let it all out “ you push his bangs away from his face while the other hand rubs at his back . armin lifts his head up ,groaning as he moves away from the toilet feeling his head throb way too violently.

You hand him the cup of water and pain killer you set down when you entered the bathroom

“Here take this, dont move too much . your head is most likely killing you” he takes the items and pops the pill in his mouth quickly downing it with the water. When he sets the cup down he looks at you ,eyes squinting, clearly confused

“Where am i ?”

You chuckle lightly, standing up and lean against the counter “you dont remember anything do you huh?” the boy sitting on the floor thinking ...

Suddenly armin visibly stiffens, his cheeks flushing “uh w-ww di-idnt do i-it ,rig-ght?” his eyes all of the sudden finding great interest on the floor tiles .

You give him a light smile and laugh even louder this time “no, no we didnt ,dont worry about that. Here cmon” you reach out a hand to lift him up off the floor

He takes your hand sheepishly ,shoulders relaxing in relief, his red cheeks calming down “ then what happened? Why am i here ?” he asks following you out of the bathroom and into the room.

You cringe at the events that happened the previous night and you wonder if you should tell him everything. You head over to your drawers and open them, turning your back to the stumbling boy “well you got extremely wasted and this creep saw that you were alone and he tried messing with you but i took care of it”

your hands clench harshly at the shirt you were holding thinking about the old fuck. God humans can be pieces of shit

“Oh.” armins bit his lip and he desperately tried to remember exactly what happened , your answer being quite vague , but this did nothing but make his head throb once again . wincing in pain he goes to lifts his hand up to hold his head when he notices the bandages around his wrists ‘what happened ?did i get injured ?’

After picking out what you needed , you turned to face him and you catch his line of sight , looking at his wrists . as if you heard what his thoughts you say “ the perv was being really aggressive towards you and he injured you quite badly but i brought you up to my apartment and fixed you up a bit “giving him a warm smile you hold out the clothes you had previously searched for

“ here , take this and clean your self up a bit then i can take you home, yeah ? you got a little bit of a stain forming on you “ you chuckle, head nodding towards the vomit on the shirt before walking out ,leaving him in the room alone

His eyes widen at your comment immediately rushing to the bathroom and sure enough his vomit is all over the shirt , the mirror reminding him of his earlier commotion . armin sighs in embarrassment ,blue eyes scanning his appearance, finally now knowing how much of a hot mess he looks like . he notices another bandage on his face, his cheek specifically , a bit of blood staining the white bandage along with another few scratches all over his face.

His finger traces around his facial injuries ‘wow, what exaclty happened last night ?’

He shakes his head , not wanting his head to pound again, instead just focusing his attention on the shirt you gave him noticing that it looks similar to the dirty one he is wearing currently.

‘Oh god …..dont tell me …. Im wearing her clothes ‘ the realization hits him and his ears turn an angry shade of red. ‘God how much more of a burden can he be to you ?’ he groans before closing the bathroom door

…

As soon as you close the door , your eyes land on a very dishevled eren leaving his room , hand shielding his squinting eyes away from the harsh sunlight “what happened ? i heard what sounded like someone vomiting” his morning voice rasping out, following you to the kitchen and sitting down on the kitchen bar stool

“Oh he woke up and well... , you know how hangovers are like “ you open the fridge , scanning the interior “wait why is the fridge empty ? i thought i told you it was your turn to go grocery shopping this time ? what happened ? “ you frown turning towards him, crossing your arms

Eren only yawns and stretches his body, not seeming to mind that you were glaring holes at him “dont you remember ? i couldnt go so you said we’d go together after we ate something yesterday but then you got too caught up fighting someone if i recall correctly ” he confidently said, fingers tapping at his chin , eyes meeting yours, glaring back.

You sigh giving up “ ahh yeah i remember now….” you take a quick glance around the kitchen and see nothing of nutritional value “ the hell are we going to eat then ? and why didnt you clean up the medical supplies from last night ?” you badger him looking at the medical supplies messily strewn all over the counter

Eren scrunches his face , hand running through his bedhair, still groggy from just waking up a few minutes ago “ we can always just doordash something” he picks up the bottle of rubbing alcohol remebering how you carried armin into the apartment when he passed out and set him on the couch leaving eren to tend to his wounds.

*

Just as armin was falling , passing out after just vomiting all over you , you quickly grab at his waist and preventing him from hitting his head on the floor . the stench of the vomit was awfully intense and you scrunch your nose trying to stop the smell from affecting you “ can you be any faster over there ? you tease seeing him struggle with the keys , his fumbling being weirdly endearing somehow

“Im trying , im trying. I swear this cold is messing me up or something “ he puffs out now fumbling with inserting the key right . you roll your eyes upon seeing this , giving a light chuckle before reaching a hand underneath the blonde boys legs and bringing them towards your chest, effectively lifting him up bridal style.

You walk into the apartment and set the boy softly onto the couch before looking down to the mess that your clothes are in , heading towards the bathroom “ hey eren could you patch him up for me ? i have to clean myself up before he’s not the only one with body fluids all over the floor.” you smirk

Eren scoffs “dont you go throwing up on me , you hear ? i just mopped the floors yesterday and im sure as hell not letting you mess my hard work up “ he hears your distant laugh down the hallway , before the sound of boots fade, leaving him alone with the boy

Eren looks at the boy slowly sliding down on the couch and ultimately sighs before going to the cabinet where all the medical supplies are stored. He opens it while lowly muttering “just cause my dad was a doctor and he taught me a few things doesnt mean i have to tend to everyones wounds “

Grabbing a few bandages and bandaids, and rubbing alcohol, he grabs a stool and places it in front of the boy. ‘Your injuries shouldnt be that bad ‘ he thinks before he lifts the boy and positions him upright. Immediately the sight of scarce blood and vomit greets erens eyes . eren winces in slight sympathy and disgust before he wipes armins face clean with the cloth he has in hand and disinfecting the wounds next

The rubbing alcohol stirred a reaction out of the blonde boy seeing as he squirmed in discomfort , the position he was put in faltering, falling into the nearest thing, which so happened to be erens chest, more specifically his neck

Eren was flustered ,not knowing what to do he freezes , his ears turning red upon feeling the shallow breath of the boy on, his sensitive neck . Eren looks down and he admires the peaceful features on the petite boy .’he looks so peaceful, pretty even ‘ eren stares for a bit before he snaps out of it and pushes the boy off his chest , tending to his wounds , doing what he first came to do.

*

“ i left the supplies out because i knew i would have to tend to your wounds too “ he gets up , walking to the other side of the bar, heading where you are

You squint your eyes in visible confusion “ my wounds ? what are you talking about ?” he scoffs rolling his eyes, “dont play dumb with me , you beat up someone to a bloody pulp and dont expect any damage to your hands, more specifically your damn knuckles ? “

He reaches down, grabbing your hand and lifting them up as to make a point “look at this “ you look down towards your hand and the sight of multi colored bruises,blood and even some open skin greets you.

“ you didnt let me tend to them yesterday so let me do it now “ you meet eyes and his are practically pleading you, but before you get to open your mouth to say anything, you hear rustling and you look behind eren to see what it is .

Armin is awkwardly standing there in the living room, the clean shirt you gave him reaching his knees , and the sweatpants a bit too baggy . you have to physically stop yourself from cooing , the sight being way too adorable for you to handle this early in the morning

Eren senses his presence as well , turning around , both of you guys forgetting about your previous conversation . you clear your throat, sensing some sort of tension in the room “ hey youre finally out ! i was going to make you something to eat but turns out the fridge is empty “ you rub your neck sheepishly , making a mental note to go grocery shopping asap .

Armins eyes widen at this , his hands extending and quickly shaking “ oh no no , please you dont have to, i dont want to be more of a bother than i already am ,” he shyly looks down at the floor , swinging his body , slightly nervous

You smile seeing his cute habit of not making eye contact, fetching your car keys off the wall “ well i bet youre missing your home right ? i can drive you home now if you want “ you also grab the plastic bag off the floor by the corridor

Armin seems to stiffen again , eren now chuckling , his hands stuffed in his sweatpants , noticing how the blonde boy seems way to nervous around you guys . armin looks at eren momentarily before he looks at the floor again ‘ how the hell do you guys look so good this early in the morning ‘ he thinks ‘ meanwhile here he is looking all messed up ‘

“I actually dont live too far away, i can walk home by myself “ armin lies straight out of his teeth , clearly not doing it well judging by the look of your face . youre not convinced seeing as the whole reason why he’s here in the first place was because he was wandering alone.

“ id feel much better knowing that someone is walking you home , i dont want a repeat of what happened yesterday .” you bite your lip, now staring more intensely at the boy in front of you

Armin mentally groans ‘ damn you and your kindness, why cant you get the hint that he doesnt want to hassle you any longer ?’

“Well um … “ he pauses, intensely thinking of a solution that doesnt involve him burdening you guys any further when he hears some shuffling and then someone handing a phone to him. Armin looks up and green eyes stare back at him

“Do you have anyone you can call ? a friend maybe to come pick you up ? “ eren suggests , reading right through the boy

“ o-oh y-yes i do umm thank you , for your phone i mean “ armin scrambles to take the phone and calls his roommate , knowing for sure she is freaking out about his whereabouts

He hands the phone back to eren and shuffles his feet “ luckily she is around the area and can pick me up in 5 minutes , i can wait outside …” you ponder for a second at this suggestions , before ultimately nodding

“Yeah sounds like a solid plan , okay , here take this bag before you head out “ you hand it over and armin looks at you and tilts his head slightly “ its your clothes from last night , i washed them and folded them , oh and your bag is also inside “ you explain while he peeks at the contents inside grief striking his face

‘How much exaclty did you do for him , he’s the worst guest ever in history , throwing up all over your bathroom ‘ he cringes at the thought. He's definitely gonna think about this experience at night,when he reminisces about all the embarrassing moments he's had in his lifetime

“Thank you guys so much for all youve done , i really do appreciate it “ armin rubs at his nape laughing out softly “ well i should get going “ he goes to the entrance, hand on the knob

“Yeah absolutely no problem , take care pretty boy ! “ you say waving , smiling brightly when you see his cheeks flush once more , eren just nodding goodbye . he waves a small goodbye before leaving , closing the door gently . sighing in relief when he got out.

Armin walks out into the street and sure enough there is his roommate , waiting and the look on her face looks not so pleasantly happy .he knows what is going to happen. he opens the car door ready to hear her badgering soon enough

“Look , mikasa , i can ex-” not so shortly as he begins his sentence, she yells out

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOUVE BEEN ? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK I WAS WHEN YOU DIDNT PICK UP MY MANY PHONE CALLS ? ARE THOSE BANDAGES IM SEEING? “ armin winced at her reprimations, slowly sinking further into the passenger seat as she kept rambling, knowing that he has to face her wrath for the whole drive home .

he still has no clue as to what exactly happened last night, the only thing he can do is hope his memories would come back soon and clear up his many questions