#me when there's finally a video essay to point to when explaining what I'm doing on tumblr in 2023 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scimagic · 26 days ago

Text

SMG4: WOTFI 2024 Thoughts and Analysis Masterpost

WOTFI 2024 is finally here and I had so much fun watching it! I've even watched it a few times already!! I'm so glad this was my first ever live WOTFI, it makes me wish I knew of SMG4 earlier but alas! I'm still so happy I found SMG4 and it's wonderful community the way I did!

This is one large compilation of all my reactions, opinions and deeper analysis... -es on WOTFI 2024! I will go over the entirety of the video almost scene-to-scene with my OWN OPINIONS! (And yes, it gets hella long) I divided it into sections of the video and even included pictures for viewing convenience!

Hope you enjoy reading essays <33

Warning: Spoilers (duh).

✧ Before The Show

As said before this was my first live WOTFI, since the episodes release at 9AM for me I had to put on my alarm one hour before but I shut it off fhjkdsa

So you can imagine my panic when I had to make my breakfast 10 minutes before it started

Not my greatest planning but I managed to (somewhat) make it on time!

✧ Let's Jump Right In!!

WHUH HAPPEN

Loved the spin off of Mr Puzzles' jingle, I knew I was going to get it stuck in my head the moment the lyrics switched

I was amused when Puzzles re-enacted his life, thought he'd give a little more meat to work with but I'm glad he just explained what we already knew. Some of his charm lies in the mystery that is his life

"So I did what any ambitious, misunderstood young soul would do... I locked myself in my room and watched TV all day!" So real tho-

I'm surprised I didn't see many people react to Puzzles cursing so loud hfdskja maybe we're all busy with the rest of WOTFI but I SCREAMED when he went "-WERE VIOLENTLY FUCKING CRUSHED BY YOU LOT!!"

LET THAT MAN CUSS FREELY!!!!

"... yyyou!" <3

LOVE EVERYONE'S COSTUMES TOO!! They all look great!!

Maybe it's because of the teasers they gave but I thought the crew was going to go against Puzzles himself with the challenges, but pitting them against Mario and SMG4 made me pleasantly surprised (I will be a lot throughout all this!)

I ADORE THIS INTRO SO MUCH!! It's so fun and vibrant and the way it was animated was so cool!! I WANT THE POSTER SO BAD!!!

Haeheh big Puzzles from the website!!

Love how Saiko is just screaming at Puzzles too fhdskja

✧ Fun Carnival Torture Metho- Games!!

I didn't say what my challenge was but it was called Chuck N' Dunk: Who can dunk the other first in shark-infested waters?

It didn't make it but I do see shark-infested waters, so either I gave a bit of inspo or I'm just delusional hfdsjka

"I have to deal with internet comments all day! This is nothing!" HAH!!! THAT'S MY FUCKING YOUTUBER RIGHT THERE!!! (He still lost)

Love to see SMG3 and Puzzles appreciate the beauty of destruction together, gotta love two villains vibin over causing chaos, it'd make for a fun dynamic if SMG4 ever considers it

On that note, when SMG3 tries to shake Four's tight rope I knew that was Three straight up

Even under Puzzles' control, the cast still retains a bit of their personality, as shown here and in the Puzzlevision episodes

Bob has like- the coolest costume ever holy shit- I really wanna draw it some time

I KNOW IT'S JUST A MASK AND SOME RECOLORING ALRIGHT IT JUST FITS HIM AND HE LOOKS COOL

I LOVE HIM SO. FUCKING. MUCH. HE'S SO SMUG THE BASTARD

This is a really funny joke actually

PIE GUN GO BRRRRRRRRRRRR

I liked seeing Karen included in this WOTFI, she was a main character in a few episodes and her dynamic works well with the others! Just a tired mom wanting to work but pulled along silly adventures, grounding in a badass caring way

CHANGE THE WORLD. MY FINAL MESSAGE. GOODBYE!! God I haven't heard that meme in so long

Plus [Italian vc] YOU SONSOFFA BITCHES

"Hope you two have your running shoes on!" said in the gayest villain voice ever, I love him your honor

Bob going for the clown girl instead of the exit is the Bob-iest thing ever and it just drives my point of the crew retaining their personalities even under control, so people shouldn't be surprised when it happens fhdjksa (cus I've seen it!)

FOUR ONLY WINNING BECAUSE HE'S A CLOWN IS SO FUNNY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

So... Ben (SMG4's Thumbnail Artist) posted a lot of Gokus when someone mentioned Metallica's For Whom The Bell Tolls

That's why I thought there'd be some kind of reference to it in WOTFI which... now that I say it out loud sounds kinda dumb hfsjdka

But the moment Mario appeared as Goku I immediately thought of Ben and it had me gigglin fhdsjka

You'd think Tari would be in the ducky mini-game but you'd be wrong! <3

Final thoughts of the games, this year's WOTFI challenges were delightful!! They were all very clever from the audience and well chosen from the crew! Congratulations to the folks that got their prompt in!

✧ WHACK-A-LEGGY (aka forgive me father for this next part)

You........ CANNOT tell me he wouldn't treat you right- God- DAMN.

LISTEN. HEAR ME OUT. YES I'M GONNA BE SIMPY IN THIS REACTION POST FUCK YOU.

Puzzles is the type of guy to give you the best of the best simply because you say so and deserve it, doesn't matter if it's as tame as a big bouquet of flowers OR as extreme as absolutely destroying your enemies through the most painful torture you have ever witnessed

He would treat you RIGHT!!!!

THAT IS THE MOST PERFECT MAN RIGHT THERE

Oh yes and I love his interactions with Leggy, they're adorable, yes FHDSKJA

THEY MAKE A CUTE DUO

Speaking of Puzzles treating you right: I am on the FUCKING FLOOR. THAT MAN IS PROTECTIVE TOO.

It's just so endearing to me how protective he is of Leggy (yes yes I know I know he's done evil shit to Meggy I know) BUT LISTEN.

In an actual redemption arc, I can see Puzzles as the most loyal motherfucker that you've ever befriended, that man is going to go to the edge of the earth and fight for you if needed BECAUSE you're his friend and that is so lovely to me

It's cute how he's trying to tell Leggy where to go, where to hide and just how worried he is of her

Mind you, the contrast between Puzzles being worried and SMG4 and Mario wanting to curve-stomp that goomba to death is hilarious fhdsjka

So forgive me if I giggle like a schoolgirl over that man

✧ I'm Gonna Get Real With You For A Moment

MR STINKY

Oh this scene now- lots to unpack

First: Adore how this scene plays out, I love the portrayal of Puzzles' meltdown, induced by grief, sadness, anger and frustration over how things are playing out. It's a big "I'm supposed to win! Why don't you let me win!" moment, I simply adore when those happen.

The pitiful cries when you don't get your way when you've meticulously planned everything and done Everything to get it, and do everything did Puzzles indeed try

Second: The colors, the dramatic red light, the destruction of the park out of anger and overcharging it seems

It's basically a tantrum

Third: The voice acting is phenomenal, and that's been said all throughout the Puzzlevision arc, Brendan (Mr Puzzles' voice actor) is so good at his job- he's perfect in those high pitch inflictions of emotion and the lower threatening tones, that scream is chilling and painful

Fourth: I can try and decipher that blue screen

FATAL ERROR A problem has been detected and Mr. Puzzles has been shut down to prevent damage to himself. PUZZLEVISION.EXE Check to make sure any new show or movie is properly installed. If this is a new installation :It's not: ask your hardware or software manufacturer for any PUZZLEVISION updates you might need. :I don't need any: If problems continue, disable or remove any newly installed hardware or software. Disable CPU(?) memory options such as Unused Shows or Movies. If you need to use safe mode :I don't: to remove or disable components, restart yourself, press :nuhuh: to select Advanced Startup Options, and then select Safe Mode. :NO: Technical Information: *** STOP: 2xREADING (... xACTUALLY)

That last line is ineligible to me but I tried my best for y'all <3

Lots to unpack just in this tiny little message

In his system, Puzzles is programmed to shut down if damaged. Which is CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT. His OWN SYSTEM shuts down to prevent damage to himself.

Also he's SPEAKING THROUGH THE BLUESCREEN, he's actively saying No to "Safe Mode" and REFUSING any repairs his system suggests

THIS MAN DOES NOT CARE FOR HIS BODY (if you couldn't tell by the TV head part)

AND HE'S SO UNSERIOUS HE STRAIGHT UP TELLS HIS SYSTEM NUH UH!!!!

A little easter egg that someone else on Twitter found :)

Puzzles has become a rage horror monster and I'm here for it, the horror elements do go hard when they're played

URGH. AND THIS MOMENT. Many have pointed it out by now BUT THE TRAUMA OF THE CASTLE!! I AM SO WEAK

Puzzles REALLY plays into those psychological torture methods, it is so RUTHLESS of him, intentionally or not!!

✧ STEP RIGHT UP, MY FRIENDS, TO PUZZLEPARK!

He looks horrible in armor despite being everyone's pathetic knight in shining armor FHJDSKA

"You're MINE" I SURE AM SIR!!!

THAT GROWL THO- BRENDAN STRIKING AGAIN WITH THEM VOCALS!!!

AND THIS!! IS THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR OH BOY!!

The transition into the actual song is SO GOOD, instead of going higher like the actual Disney intro it goes LOWER and it's PERFECT for the intro!! It makes Puzzles sound INSANE (RIGHTFULLY SO!) It also tricks you because you know the melody so well until UH OH!! WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT!! LET'S GET THE FUCK IN!

IMMEDIATELY threateningly playful I LOVE IT!!

It sounds so much like the songs in Nightmare Before Christmas, Kidnap Sandy Claws, Oogie Boogie's song, it has their same vibes! The same devilishly playful with their victims kind of vibes and it's RIGHT UP MY ALLEY BABY

It has SUCH an energizing beat too!! It makes you wanna jump in your seat to the beat!

The set up is so fun too, purple is an interesting choice to go with.

I cannot stress enough how GOOD THE VOCALS ARE TOO I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

AND THIS PART. GOES EXTREMELY HARD. THEY ALL LOOK GREAT

They cooked with the choir of minions fr!! They sound great together!!

The chorus of the song is just as catchy as Creative Control, I had worries that I wasn't going to like this one as much as CC but I was SO wrong!! It's right up it's alley! They both have their strengths and their unique way of presenting Mr Puzzles, I wouldn't be able to decide which one is "better" since they both have different points to send across

Creative Control is jazzier, it taunts the crew and introduces Puzzles as the master villain with a bit of backstory, it's used to show the control on the crew both visually and lyrically with Puzzles putting them in different scenarios while singing how they can't leave

Meanwhile Puzzlepark, while similar in the controlling part, has more going on. It's not just Puzzles trying to control/stop Meggy, SMG4 and Mario, it's also them fighting back when they couldn't in CC. It also has the rest of the group trying to detain them, mind-controlled by Puzzles. It's crazier than just putting them in shows and popular culture references, it's throwing things at them, attacking them and messing with the world, trying to enact revenge yknow!

I particularly like when Meggy and Puzzles sing together, their voices contrast well

"But it's time for you to die now." Haehah! Hello!! This is the part where I kill you!!

AND A LAWSUIT ARC REFERENCE TOO!? OH I'M IN HEAVEN!!!

The lyrics scratch at a very nice part of my brain, I think SMG4 has always had a knack for rhyming, they've perfected it over the years and it's paid off well

And combined with the change in beat it goes for extra points, mwah!! Chef's kiss!!

"That child is gone... Six feet under right WHERE YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS BELONG!!"

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART FUCKING EVER!!!! THEY ABSOLUTELY COOKED

IT'S ABOUT HOW THREATENING PUZZLES IS IT'S ABOUT MEGGY STILL TRYING TO HELP HIM DESPITE IT ALL IT'S ABOUT HIM ABSOLUTELY REFUSING THE HELP BECAUSE THAT'S. JUST. HIM. PUZZLES. REFUSES. HELP. THINGS go his way or they don't go at all!!!

AND THAT ENDING NOTE MYYYY GODDDD GIVE THIS MAN AN EMMY RIGHT ABOUT FUCKING NOW!!!!

That was such a clean note, Brendan has an amazing singing voice and I'll be listening to this on repeat for A WEEK

SMG4 RELEASE PUZZLEPARK ON SPOTIFY NOW AND MY LIFE!!! IS YOURS!!!!

✧ In The End... It's For The Better...

They like using the trope of going inside a character's brain/heart/whatever to talk to them huh...

I'm not saying it as a bad thing! It's just a pattern I'm sure we've all noticed! I think it's cute!

SMG4 wouldn't be SMG4 if they at least didn't Try to save their villains, sure there's distasteful ones like that lizard that absolutely deserved it, but all the other villains had redemption arcs, heart to hearts, sympathy before dying... SMG4 is about chances, finding your people and having a heart even towards those who wronged you, even if in the end the worst happens to them

And I think that's beautiful

Regardless of having a heart, however, Meggy has the absolute right to be angry at Puzzles, maybe it wasn't right but I don't blame her for snapping at a kid, that kid Is Puzzles after all

I see two possible interpretations of Meggy becoming Leggy one more time: either- Truly to get close to Puzzles and become a true friend, or simple manipulation to get him to stop. Either are possible in my book, maybe with a little more thought I'd be able to know which one but for now I remain satisfied with being skeptical on this one, I don't care to find what the real intentions were since I know the ending.

Plus nothing is in black and white, there's a lot of layers to Puzzles' and Meggy's relationship........

And speaking of that ending-

HAH!!!!

I THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS HILARIOUS!!

IN TRUE SMG4 FASHION YOU (SORTA) REDEEM A VILLAIN AND CELEBRATE SAVING THE DAY WITH A STUPID MEME

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOLKS IT'S SMG4 IT'S THE FUNNY HAHA MEME SHOW!!

STOP TAKING IT SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY THE WHOLE TIME!!

IT CAN BE SERIOUS AND STUPID!!!!

Mr Puzzles SHOULD go to the psych ward, HE'S FUCKING INSANE

YOU DON'T GET REDEEMED IMMEDIATELY AFTER ALL THAT!!

I'm glad they didn't redeem him completely! I didn't believe him at all when he said he learned a valuable lesson! I was like No The Fuck You Didn't!

You can have a redemption later! That's okay! I trust the writers with handling the arcs and making them good! And you heard Luke, they might bring him back later! (Which is a definite yes!)

I would love for them to take it slow with Puzzles, not immediately of course, let him breathe and write another arc right now, settle things with everything and everyone and THEN you can break him out, the universe is full of possibilities, and I'm SURE I will enjoy whatever the SMG4 crew writes

Haeheh she looks like a nerd with those goggles

Someone's Artist Puzzles AU just came true btw-

"And Didney shut down..!" :D

The Showgrounds is gonna start looking more like an actual carnival too!! Wahoo!!

I WANT THAT FUCKING HOODIE-

That Puzzle plushie looks so ugly I LOVE HIMMMM

I WANT THAT FUCKING POSTER AND KEYCHAIN

SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING COMMISSION ME SO I CAN BUY THEMMMMMM AEUGHHHHHH

Thank YOU LUKE AND SMG4 CREW FOR GIVING US THIS WOTFI!!! I LOVED IT WITH ALL MY HEART <33

I would love to hang out and go get some pizza with Mr Puzzles :(

And finally... that lil jingle to end with the rolling credits

✧ Final Thoughts

Believe me when I say I think this is the best possible ending for Puzzles, he doesn't die, he doesn't get completely redeemed, but he does face consequences and he gets a chance for the future, best of both worlds me thinks

I loved this rollercoaster that was Puzzlevision, I might've hopped on the train sorta late but I stayed for all the duration of the ride and I had a blast <3

Mr Puzzles was great and maliciously loveable, learning about all these characters and growing to care about them was amazing, I'm really happy I have a new series I can watch and analyze and enjoy!! I'll be remaining in my seat with my one ticket until I get off the SMG4 train, not sure when!! But until then you can expect me to still love this show, draw for it and analyze it much more than any reasonably normal person should.

If you've read this far, I love you soso much and hope you enjoyed this hell of a scroll, because I spent so many hours on this shit YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND-

K BYEEEE <333

#wotfi 2024 #smg4 wotfi #smg4 #mario smg4 #meggy spletzer #mr puzzles #smg3 #bob bobowski #fishy boopkins #smg4 tari #smg4 saiko #karen smg4 #luigi smg4 #smg4 melony #puzzlevision #smg4 puzzlevision #smg4 puzzle park #sci screams #sci ships

99 notes · View notes

fiendishartist2 · 23 days ago

Text

im not fucking around anymore. here's the full "Paul is Care" essay i've been working on:

“Alright. So there's uh, nothing out here, as far as I've seen. But actually, I think there is something out here. I just haven't seen it yet.”

In Petscop, the story is told between the lines. When you feel like you have a grasp on it, a single colour or date throws off everything you’ve built up. That’s why I like to look at Petscop in another way; not as a series of events, but an exploration of a single character: Paul.

Some people like to map everything out in a single timeline; when did Care go missing, when did the family get the game, when did Lina and Mike die. I think that every interpretation of Petscop has its own value, because Petscop means something different to everyone who watches it. But, when I look at Petscop, I don’t just see a series of events wrapped up in the mystery of Care’s disappearance. I see a video game used as a device to explore and understand the connection between the past and the present. I see the ways in which Paul Leskowitz is Carrie Mark.

I know that to some that notion might seem crazy; the broader discussion of Petscop is different to the niche ones held by crazy people in the tags of a Tumblr post . Obviously, this theory is personally significant and I hold it very near and dear to my heart. But, I want to share this theory in a way that makes sense to the general audience of Petscop because I genuinely believe you guys are missing out! So, keep an open mind and enter my Petscop mind-palace…

“...were signs along the way. Um, that I ignored. Because it would have been a completely ridiculous idea to me. Um. But when I found my room, it made, uh, well, I was shocked at first, but it made sense, especially considering where I found the game in the first place, um, that it would be tied, in some way, to me through you. Um. And I'm trying to think, when was the last time I saw any of you at all? It had to have been in like, 1999. I was a kid, I was a small kid. Tiny kid. Um. And after that, just, you know. But, it would make sense in the timeline.” (Petscop 11)

A lot of Petscop theories surround the actual textual proof found in the videos, so that’s where I’ll start. There’s many instances where Paul makes the connection between himself and Care, but one moment continues to stick with me. In Petscop 11, Paul finally enters the house and takes a look around. He’s on the phone with someone, presumably Belle. Paul goes up to the calendars and starts talking about Care, “Yeah, on that topic... I don't remember meeting this girl at all. Um, I don't remember knowing her at any point (…) Um, and I remember you saying that we were, that we, we are, um, exactly the same age.” (Petscop 11). He points out that he and Care share the same birthday, down to the year. We get further confirmation of this in Petscop 14, when Paul’s conversation with Jill that he had on his own birthday is superimposed onto Care’s. The next part though, is what really gets the theory started, “I do agree there's a resemblance. Um. Very strong resemblance between us.” (Petscop 11).

Faces are incredibly important in Petscop. Marvin thought Care and Mike could be rebirthed into Lina because they had similar features, and Care had to be given Mike’s eyebrows specifically to change her room. So, for Paul and Care to have such similar facial features that someone else pointed out the resemblance is significant.

They also happen to share the name “Leskowitz”, which is both Anna and Lina’s last name. We know this because his Reddit account is “p_leskowitz”.

If he’s a Leskowitz, then that explains his complicated feelings towards “the family”. “The family” is a foreboding presence throughout Petscop. Their meddling isn’t outright malicious, but even Paul admits that he’s intimidated by them. And it makes sense, as “the family” (comprised of Anna and Jill) each have a major role in the core mystery of Petscop. Anna is the mother of Care and the wife of Marvin, while Jill is Marvin’s sister and the mother of both Rainer and Mike. To be a Leskowitz, Paul would need to be blood related to Anna or Lina in some way. Paul shows that he has this relation to the family in Petscop 22, when he’s talking to Belle about finding the windmill, “And, I don't th- and you don't have to worry about it, right, 'cause... 'cause you aren't, you aren't family, so you wouldn't... have a room, that's the thing.” (Petscop 22). In this context, Paul is asking Belle whether Jill has contacted her. When he tells her she doesn’t have a room, this is in reference to the Child Library explored in Petscop 3 and 7. This means that in order to be part of the Leskowitz-Mark family (and in our case, related to Care), you have to have a room in the Child Library, something both Paul and Care possess.

Paul being related to the family is also supported by his casual mention of meeting Rainer as a child, “‘Rainer’... I saw him at a birthday party once. All the older kids were down in the basement playing video games, to hide from everyone. He was down there, too. He was older than the rest of them, though.” (Petscop 11), and his confusion of not knowing Care, with the implication that if she was real, he would have met her through the family.

A rarely discussed aspect of Paul’s character is that he can’t tell his left from his right. When he’s doing the disc puzzle in Anna and Marvin’s room is Petscop 11, “Um, we can see what the room looks like in that recording, um, on the uh, right? ... Left? Left? Right ... side.” (Petscop 14) and before he even enters the house, “And, I mean, I still get confused about that. Because, I mean, well, I know it's always the top, but, um, I still have to think. I have to think.” (Petscop 11), we can clearly see that he has trouble with directions. In a similar fashion, Care is described as “dizzy”, most notably in the end credits of Petscop. She is also described as blind by Rainer in Petscop 17, “You were blind. At some point, your movements stopped making sense.” (Petscop 17). In the counsellor’s office, the counsellor says to Paul, “Are you right handed, or left handed? You don't know? Really?” (Petscop 22). I’ll get more into it later, but this sequence is presumably a real conversation that the game is recreating. If this scene is taken from Care’s real childhood, then it confirms that she also had problems with her lefts and rights.

Now, this is the base level of the theory. It’s easy to figure out that Paul is a Leskowitz, he literally calls them “the family”. And while I think the bits about faces and birthdays and directions are significant to this theory, I wanted to get all of the textual evidence out of the way so that I could get into the fun part of this essay: the subtext.

”Some things you can't rewrite.” (Petscop 14)

Petscop is nothing if not a collection of symbols and metaphors. Ask me what Petscop is all about on any given day and there’s a non-zero chance I will start explaining why the car is orange. While it is necessary to analyse Petscop as a real series of events, I think that another approach can be taken; what if we analysed Petscop as a series of events that are happening to Paul specifically? That the game is creating meaning by placing Paul specifically in these snippets of the past. By looking at each moment as “Why did the game make Paul do this?” instead of “What is happening in the game?”, we can see everything through a new lens.

First, I want to discuss colour. Colour plays a huge role in Petscop; almost every character is assigned their own colour. This is most often used to denote who is speaking in text, but it’s also used for other things like the tool. You are probably aware that Care’s colour is yellow, as all of her text is yellow. What you might not know is that Paul’s colour is red. Paul has exactly one instance in all of Petscop where he has coloured text and that is in Petscop 22, when he gives the counsellor his name. The calendars in the house are also colour coded, as the one showing 2017 is red.

One of my favourite moments in all of Petscop uses colour in a way that supports this theory perfectly. When Paul takes Care out of the rebirthing machine, she has been transformed into an Easter egg. A red and yellow striped Easter egg. I will get into this egg later on, but for now, I want to point out how Paul and Care’s colours have been used here. Of course, it’s significant just that they've been put together, but it's more than that. Care’s final form, the egg she has been placed in to keep her safe from all of the trauma she has suffered, that she will spend the rest of the series in, is painted a combination of her and Paul’s colours. In the same sequence, when Paul is playing the Needles Piano for Care B, the “wrong” notes he plays to turn her into the Easter Egg are all red. There’s a joke about eggs and transness in here somewhere.

Right after Care’s rebirth into the egg, Paul places her in the locker with the purple egg and the “new life” letter. If we abide by the established colour theory, this second egg would be Belle’s/Tiara’s egg. By putting them together, alongside the letter, it symbolises Care and Belle’s transfer to Lina’s care; this can also be supported by the ending of Petscop. In the final scene of the soundtrack, Belle recounts when she and Paul were adopted, “There is Boss waiting for her son. Pall do you remember being born. Smuggled away driving to your new house. Boss in driver seat me in back.” (Petscop Soundtrack). “Do you remember being born” is a question posed over and over again throughout Petscop. It’s meant to be a reference to rebirthing, but here it’s Paul being asked if he remembers being born, not Care; you can also connect this to the “new life” letter, making it apparent Belle is asking if he remembers when he was given his “new life” with her and “Boss”. There’s also the implication of the wording “smuggled away”, implying that there was something stopping Paul from being taken to his new home. Paul and Care’s final scenes parallel each other; Care is placed with Belle’s/Tiara’s egg with the “new life” letter, while Paul is taken back to “Boss” by Belle. Care and Paul are both asked if they “remember being born”.

Another, smaller piece of colour theory in Petscop comes from the board games in the counsellor’s office. The board game “Accident” features red and yellow puzzle pieces that fit together, but are broken apart. Remember that Care’s colour is yellow, so assume that she symbolises the yellow piece; Paul’s colour is red, so assume that he symbolises the red piece. The red piece is bigger and fits into the smaller yellow piece, like it’s missing the beginning of it. The yellow piece comes before the red piece, as if it adds context to the red piece. When we think of this in terms of Care and Paul, we can see that Care is the “missing piece” of Paul; the small part of his past that adds the context that completes him. Paul’s piece is bigger because he’s been Paul for so much longer (if we interpret the counsellor’s office as a real event the way it is shown, then that could be the moment he changed. Or, if we consider Care’s rebirth into the egg as the moment Care turned into Paul, then that would be the moment instead), meanwhile Care’s piece is small because she was only a small part of his life.

Taking colour into account, we can get into the meat of the symbolism in Petscop. When we view the events of Petscop through our new lens, many things become significant. Paul is placed in the role of Care many times throughout the series; on Care’s birthday, in the counsellor's office, and in Rainer’s “you are Carrie Mark” monologue.

During the “strange situation” birthday scene, Paul carries around a yellow balloon, symbolising that he is standing in for Care. This is further cemented by Anna’s dialogue addressing Paul as if he is Care on the day she came home, “You made it. Happy birthday! (...) Why are you covering your face? (...) Of course I recognize you. Those eyes. That nose. That’s still you.” (Petscop 14).

This next dialogue from Anna is particularly interesting to me; she doesn’t just tell Paul that she’s happy Care is home safe or ask him where she’s been, but instead she says this, “I sure hope you’ve realised by now. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve changed. You aren’t lost. Stop wandering and come home.” (Petscop 14). When we talk about Petscop, we have the urge to deny any supernatural involvement in the story. Whether through AI or predictive programming or alternate timelines, we want Petscop to be plausible. Understandable. Easy to digest. But, we often forget that Paul poses the question of a literal “ghost in the machine” in the first few episodes. I want to consider this quote– Anna talking to her child who has been “lost” for many years– as an act of this ghost. The game is talking back to Paul, telling him that no matter how much he has changed, he still has the same eyes, the same nose that made him Carrie Mark. And we know how important eyes and noses are in Petscop. Also as a side note, consider how Anna didn’t specify eyebrows; we know that Care’s lack of eyebrows is in some way due to Marvin, but when she tells Paul she recognises his eyes and nose, she doesn’t add on eyebrows. Paul said it himself in Petscop 7, “Um, and why am I doing that? Well, because eyebrows seem to be important.” (Petscop 7). I like to think that she couldn’t have said that Paul has the same eyebrows because, since Marvin isn’t in the picture anymore, he wouldn’t have any reason to pluck them.

Another scene that mixes up Paul and Care is the counsellor's office. When Paul finally enters the “girl wall” in Petscop 22, he is placed into a school’s counsellor’s office. Again, they talk to Paul as if he is Care, apologising for taking him out of class and saying he needs to “catch up”, implying that he’s missed a significant amount of school. As they start to play Graverobber (Jesus Christ, Rainer), the counsellor is confused about Paul’s name; they ask him if they have the wrong name written down, as his save file is currently “Strange Situation” and when they called out the name on file, Paul didn’t respond. Now, the connection here is a little more nuanced, but it still comes to a conclusion that I think greatly supports the theory. “Strange situation” is in reference to the Mary Ainsworth Strange Situation Experiment, a test in which an infant is deliberately separated from their mother to test their level of attachment. This is a very base level understanding of this concept, but when applied to this specific scene, it becomes apparent that this “strange situation” is another reference to Care. Care was separated from her mother for about half a year, only returning during the birthday party scene; the counsellor’s scene was accessible once Paul started using the “Strange Situation” file. Care stopped recognising the name she used before the seperation, considering herself to be “Strange Situation” instead. She has literally stopped recognising the name Care, and picks out her own name (which in the game Paul sets to his own).

Also consider the implication of the “girl wall”. At first, it’s an absurd joke, meant to lighten the mood using the same roundabout humour the rest of the series has. But, the counsellor asking if they have the wrong name, listing Paul as “Strange Situation” instead of his name, combined with the fact that when Paul is placed in front of the girl wall, he can’t walk away from it, it becomes a bit of an analogy; The game keeps forcefully showing Paul the word “GiRL” over and over and when he finally enters the “girl-world” as Strange Situation, he is called the wrong name and once again placed in Care’s shoes.

Let’s revisit the “ghost in the machine” idea. In Petscop 17, we are shown a past recording of Petscop; we never find out who was playing at this time, but it’s easy to assume Paul is the one watching the recording. The footage is less interesting than the dialogue, but it is notable that it’s a recording of the player running backwards in a very deliberate pattern. The actually relevant part of this sequence is Rainer’s monologue; in particular, the way he frames it, “You are a girl named Carrie Mark, and you were born on November 12th, 1992. You have a mommy named Anna, a daddy named Marvin, an auntie named Jill, an uncle named Thomas, a cousin named Daniel, ......I know what you must be thinking. Have these statements always been true? Or have I cursed you? Is there such a thing? A curse that changes your past?” (Petscop 17). There’s something about the forcefulness of this dialogue, “You are Carrie Mark,” as if Rainer is trying to make it so just by saying it. The inclusion of the birthday is also notable; we have been shown time and time again that Paul and Care share a birthday, and that this is an important part of both of their characters. So, when Rainer asks if these statements have always been true, or if it’s “a curse that changes your past”, we’re meant to interpret it as such: some of the statements are true, but the “you” being addressed is not currently “a girl named Carrie Mark”. Rainer casts a spell to make the player retrace their steps and although he might not be playing, the use of the word “you” and present tense language makes the statement pointed towards Paul. There’s something to be said about Rainer’s position in all of this; he isn’t the only tangible “ghost” in Petscop (Marvin and Tiara fit Paul’s definition established in Petscop 6), but he’s the only one to be fully dead. It truly feels, in this moment, like Petscop– like Rainer– is talking directly to Paul. The “curse that changes your past” is the part that ties it all together. This past that Paul doesn’t fully remember, where Anna and Marvin have a daughter named Care, where someone in his family went missing for months– by learning about this through the game, Rainer is essentially changing Paul’s version of the past. Your memory and physical evidence are all you have of the past; when your memory tells you one thing, but physical evidence tells you another, what version of your past is true?

“You’re the Newmaker. You can turn Care NLM into Care A, and close the loop.” (Petscop 9)

Finally, I want to explain why this theory is supportive of the themes of Petscop. Of course, there’s the obvious link between rebirth and the change from Care to Paul. But, there’s also themes of blood family versus chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and of healing from your past. I want to provide an explanation of each of these themes and how the “Paul is Care” theory fits into them.

Let’s begin with the family point, since I already expanded on the family’s role in Petscop earlier. There’s a story behind the scenes in this series; the conflict between the chosen family versus the blood family. Anna and Jill against Belle and Lina. Anna and Jill are restrictive– they take over the channel and block certain things from the audience. Paul admits that he’s intimidated by them, and he’s concerned when he thinks Jill could be in contact with Belle. When we get the only dialogue from Jill, Paul is hostile and aggressive with her, something we don’t see from him otherwise. Alternately, Anna comes off as dismissive in most of her dialogue; when Care shows up at the birthday party, Anna treats her like no time has passed, like they haven’t been searching for her for months. We don’t get direct contact between Anna and Paul (except for a phone call in Petscop 11 that you could interpret as being with Anna), but the way she talks to the player through Care during the birthday party is still dismissive, “I sure hope you’ve realised by now. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve changed. You aren’t lost. Stop wandering and come home.” (Petscop 14). There’s a level of distance between Paul and the family, which is evident from the name alone; Paul identifies himself as part of the family, but he still calls them “the family” as opposed to “my family”. When you pair that with the fact that he calls them all by their first names instead of any term of endearment (like how Rainer calls her “Auntie Jill” in his spell), it paints a clear picture: Paul does not want to be part of this family.

In direct contrast, Belle is shown a significant amount of affection from Paul. Not only is he on the phone with her for a good handful of the episodes, but Belle also has a familial connection to Paul. In Petscop 2, Paul is talking to Belle and he says “When you come home next month, and uh, hopefully you're feeling a little more enthusiastic about that now, we can investigate this together, and maybe you'll find stuff that I can't find here.” (Petscop 2). I think the casual use of the word ‘home’ to describe where Belle is staying implies a certain closeness, maybe even that they live in the same household. That’s not the part of this line that is important to me, however. Take a look at Belle’s final speech at the end of Petscop; Belle says “I could not wait too be your friend,” and Paul responds, “Family”, to which Belle says, “We can investigate this together.” (Petscop Soundtrack). After distancing himself from the family, as well as directly telling her she’s not part of the family (following it up with “Uhh... I didn't- I didn't mean it that way,” (Petscop 22), implying they have a similar connection that she’s defending), Paul calls Belle family. She states that they’re friends and Paul corrects her by telling her that they’re not just friends, but family. The most gut wrenching part of this dialogue is the use of ‘we can investigate this together’. It’s like a ward, a promise that Belle is making to Paul. He doesn’t have to go through this alone, she’s promising to be there for him. She’s going to investigate this with him, like he asked her to in the second episode. Paul doesn’t call his blood relatives family, but he tells Belle that they are his family; her and the “Boss”.

How does this connect to Care? It’s not hard evidence, but when you take this theme of family into account, it makes more sense for Paul to have a strained relationship with the family if we apply Care’s story to him. Think about it; Paul was ‘smuggled away driving too [his] new house’ and he hasn’t seen the family since he was a child, and Care’s egg was (metaphorically) placed with Belle’s and the New Life Letter when she would have been around 5, since that’s the age she was when she was kidnapped. Care went through an extremely traumatic event in a toxic environment– why wouldn’t someone step in and take her out of that family? To me, this theory extends the same closure Paul gets at the end of Petscop to Care; it tells us that even after everything she went through, she finds people who love and take care of her.

Abuse is a huge focus in Petscop, both as a plot point and a major theme. Rainer’s main motivation is to expose Marvin’s abuse of both Mike and Care to the family– whether or not that’s successful is not important. Because years after Rainer’s attempt, Paul is back doing the exact same; although, his playthrough of Petscop is less of an expose and more of an attempt at solving the mystery. Now, I think it’s a little pedantic, but in this context, I think the “cycle of abuse” in Petscop refers less to a generational cycle, but a continuous cycle that happens every time Petscop is played. Care is stuck in this version of the past that Rainer has created, forced to live through it as many years as Petscop is left on. Paul doesn’t continue this cycle though; as far as we know, Paul is the only person to reach the good ending of the game, where he’s rebirthed Care into the egg and reconnected with Belle and ‘Boss’. Paul is the only person who could understand what Care needed, because it’s exactly what he needed.

Care’s trauma is replayed for us throughout Petscop. Every knowable aspect of it is shown, leaving behind a raw feeling; like somehow, Paul and Rainer have made a spectacle of her abuse. But, I don’t think that’s entirely true. Rainer, although he is bitter and vengeful, is ultimately the person who finds the truth about Care and Mike and (if we are to believe him) is also the one who found Care at the school. In the beginning, it’s obvious that Paul is playing the game to see the mystery and is slowly engulfed by it throughout the rest of the series. When the game tells him that, “Marvin picks up tool hurts me when playstation on,” (Petscop 3), Paul proceeds anyway. The same happens when Care is caught in her room; Paul sees what is obviously a child being kidnapped and continues to solve the puzzle anyway. He picks the flower, catching Care NLM, and leads Marvin to the house. Paul follows through on everything he can to ‘solve’ the mystery of Carrie Mark, but in the end, he defies what the game has told him to do and saves Care. He does what Rainer couldn’t do: he breaks the cycle of abuse in the Mark-Leskowitz family. It’s kind of poetic, the idea that the person Care grew to be is the same person who confronts and lays to rest her trauma. The fact that playing his own theme would be the key to changing Care into the egg (a symbol of birth and potential) is beautiful.

The last thing I want to talk about is the theme of healing. This concept is more nebulous; we don’t see much of Paul post-Petscop, but the final scene does always leave me feeling hopeful for him. I think the reconnection with Belle and ‘Boss’, alongside the reassurance that, “[they] can investigate this together,” shows that Paul is out of the mindset and environment Petscop put him in. I’ve always thought that throughout Petscop, we see a deterioration of Paul; in the beginning, he’s intrigued and confused, but we see him become more and more disturbed, irritable, and frustrated towards the end. This is first evident with the CD puzzle in the house, where Paul is so out of his depth and confused that he stops acting with the same calm rationality shown throughout the earlier episodes. Then, when Paul is messing about with the demo recordings, he stops speaking in the videos entirely. When Paul sees the final blacked out object, which are coordinates to the real life windmill, he is the most stuttery we’ve ever seen, “Hm. Y- y- yep, yep. Yep... yep. N- we would- we would have to find out how big... like, we'd have to find out how big a tile is..? One of the tiles..? Like, if we could- if we could figure out how big... one tile is, in... u- in, umm... Like, feet. Or... Uhh, yeah. Meters.” (Petscop 22). He’s frazzled and excited and a little bit scared, evidenced by how he talks about the family, “They didn't... I don't like talking to them. They intimidate me…” (Petscop 22). All of this changes by the end; Paul is no longer stuck playing the game and he’s free to return to the people who love him most. This freedom is summed up in a single image: the final one we see in Petscop. Paul’s chair is empty and the blue sky beyond the desk is brimming with hope.

All this to say, Paul choosing Belle and ‘Boss’ over the game as well as saving Care by doing what’s best for her instead of finishing the final puzzle, alongside his final scene where he is welcomed home by his real family, shows us an interpretation of Petscop that paints it not as a tragedy, but a story of chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and healing trauma through connection.

Thank you so much for hearing me out.

Bye-bye!

#its been done for ever i just never got around to posting it #i went through and edited it to bw more coherent tho bc this was written in the middle of a petscop fervor lol #petscop #paul leskowitz #carrie mark #im not tagging everyone #essay #petscop theory #i love you paul is care theory forever and ever #its long so you may wanna read in multiple sittings #like 10 pages long ToT #sorry not sorry #lmk if i actually made sense or if im crazy pls i want to know if this is even understandable to ppl who arent me #this was actually originally written as a video essay but idk if ill ever make it

29 notes · View notes

centrally-unplanned · 5 months ago

Text

To share another thought on the Folding Ideas video I Don't Know James Rolfe from my last post, while I enjoyed it a ton I do think its core "meta" element fails to reach the heights it could. It is never made that explicit so I am making a subjective read here, but essentially while most of the content of the video is textually about James Rolfe, there are dozens of moments where Dan performs actions that mimic or parallel James, culminating in his own parodic angry video game review as the finale. The idea is something of a "there but for the grace of god I go" point, that perhaps all youtubers, and Dan specifically, are too close for comfort to Rolfe's reality of limited creative options and a hostile fanbase clinging to the past .

But I can't really say for sure! Because he is very adverse to making this concrete enough for the audience.

At times the visual parallels are incredibly direct. There is one moment, where Dan is explaining the real skill and craft of being an internet clown on demand, where he mimics Rolfe's style of rant to explain it while projected AVGN videos that were looping in the background flash over his own body:

And it really works, the meaning shines through; it is a moment you can see back through time where the idea for this shot was, spiritually, the impetus for the film, that this idea must have come to him and he built the essay around making it happen.

Other visual parallels are less explicit; when the parody sequence starts, Dan - who has built a 1/12th scale recreation of the Rolfe's "video game basement" aka studio set in order to "understand" him like normal people do - represents himself in that room via a tiny hand puppet

Which is cute if, like probably most people, know him as the guy who makes videos about NFTs or Qanon. But close to a decade ago, when he was first making ~20 minute media analysis takes, he represented himself on screen with a wooden puppet like this:

It is even like the same color, I am confident this is intentional, it is saying "yeah this could have been an alt version of me; I was not so far from this".

All these symbols function to make the emotional impact; but an emotional impact in service of...what? So in the essay he discusses the film Wavelength, a 1967 avant garde film that is almost entirely composed of filming the side of a room with minimal camera movement while actions occur around it. It is a movie that never gives you a meaning, and therefore you must project meaning into it, bring yourself to the table. That makes sense for Wavelength, and the aggressive cinematography of I Don't Know James Rolfe - which is stellar to be clear - is making the film out to be sort of its own personal Wavelength for YouTube.

But then we go back to that text, which is over an hour of Dan directly talking to the camera about a real person. It is incredibly concrete and detailed, with explicit points being made over and over. And through what those explicit points reveal... I don't think Dan Olsen is like James Rolfe! Does he have an hostile fanbase trapped in nostalgia? Do people acuse him of being cucked by his bitch wife? He has evolved as a filmmaker, intensely so, he does things completely differently than Rolfe does and completely differently from how he himself used to. He doesn't have a shitty biography that self-outs his own creative narcissism, he isn't obsessed with remaking his own childhood films - I am pretty sure as a kid he had never heard of NFTs, they didn't really exist! The final line of the film is "maybe you aren't a filmmaker either" - but idk, Dan, I kinda think you are! If documentarians can be filmmakers you have to qualify.

Now I'm not a fool, I understand that the film could be suggesting these are differences of degrees and not kind; that Dan is equally "trapped in the room" making vlogs for the net, just with more outward trappings of success. But, in the ruthless specificity and detail of his treatment of Rolfe...this film cannot be Wavelength. I am not capable of forging my own meaning from the pieces, he connected way too many of them. This is the trap of avant-garde; you are tempted to help the audience, but once you try to answer some of the questions, it forces the hand of the rest, they all have to fit into that schema. And the film is just too coy with Dan's own parallel life for me to figure the schema out. I make my guesses and I lack confidence in them, they feel "contradicted" by the text.

More detail would have been the easier path; less detail and more symbolic expression would have been the harder path. But right now the balance is just a bit too out of whack for it to come fully together.

#This of is the inverse of “damning with faint praise” - a true compliment of the craft through my exacting critique #folding ideas

45 notes · View notes

swan-lite · 11 months ago

Text

Dang it, okay, I have thoughts

James Somerton made an apology video in which he says "I'm sorry" several times but

Couches it in a pity party

Does not directly address any of the people whose work he stole by name

Never uses the word "plagiarism," instead referring to his theft almost exclusively as "citation errors"

James discusses how many videos he and his team were releasing and the frequency of releases as if someone was pressuring them to release a high volume of videos, as if to say it isn't his fault that there were quality problems

James offers to make his videos public again and add "citations" in a pinned comment or in the descriptions as a means of crediting the people he stole from

He also insists that some of the videos won't need these citations because some of them were his own "original work"

(In other words: that he has nothing more to hide)

James states that he isn't bigoted against ace folks, bisexual folks, trans folks, or women and that the several disparaging remarks he has made against these communities in his videos were not written by him

Because we have receipts for several of these remarks thanks to Harry's (hbomberguy's) video on James, we know that they didn't come from the articles and books he was stealing from, so if James didn't write them then the only other person who could have was his cowriter Nick

James then immediately says that he's not trying to blame Nick

James does not try to explain the ace/arophobic, biphobic, transphobic, or misogynistic remarks he has made on his Twitter or Patreon accounts

James mentions - and seems genuinely bothered by - the "people online" who are spreading lies and misinformation about him

Finally, James discusses future projects he would like to work on

He then deleted the apology video

Harry states near the top of Plagiarism and You(Tube) that "When someone more competent than Filip uses [his] techniques in a subtler way, we can recognize them for what they are."

This is not competent. It's not even subtle. James's career was so thoroughly eviscerated literally overnight that this is the best he can do, and it's not even good.

James says that he's sorry, but doesn't actually explain what he's sorry for. He doesn't admit to, or take responsibility for, the extent of what he actually did. In this way, he can now say when confronted that he apologized. But with the wording, he still manages to avoid actually taking ownership of his actions. In other words, it's using passive language to imply that what he has done just happened. He definitely didn't sit down and choose to commit extensive plagiarism - of course not! What really happened? *shrug* Anyway, sorry for it.

When iiluminaughtii (henceforth referred to as Blaire) tried to explain the many times in her video essays she has misspoken or misused words, she played it off as a byproduct of the amount of "work" she churned out for her fans. James is trying to do the same thing here, only it is deeply ineffective. It's quite upsetting to me to think that some of his fans - young queer folks who are probably used to having to make themselves small - might on some level fall for this trick. The idea is to make you the viewer feel guilty for the demands you have placed on this creator, when in reality this is a grown adult who knew exactly what he was doing.

I'm not going to spend too long on this next point. If you've read this far, you're probably invested enough to be well aware that James has used the trick of burying a citation under a mound of text no-one will read many times. It's the same trick Blaire used, and the one The Internet Historian used as well after he was caught.

James stops short of making a "Colombo villian speech" in this apology video. He does, however, take the time to say that he has nothing more to hide. Again, if you've watched Harry's video, you know this literally always means that the person who insists they have nothing to hide is absolutely hiding something else. Whether this is more plagiarism or some other skullduggery we haven't yet found out about, I'm sure it will come to light eventually. I'm honestly surprised and a little disappointed that James tried this tack. Obviously he's thought better of it, since the video is gone now. But I would think a grown human who has just been the subject of an hours-long piece of, frankly, journalism would know better than to say something like this.

With the comments about his bigotry, James is trying to simultaneously redirect attention and perform allyship by saying "Look, I have an asexual friend! Who may or may not be public about his sexuality at this time!" This is the kind of thing I think a lot of us in the queer community are used to - supposed allies downplaying microaggressions by pointing to folks in the ally's proximity who happen to have an identity that they are being accused of speaking badly about. "This one person can stand to be around me, so clearly I can't be all bad." Personally, as someone whose racist parent tries consistently to downplay their own racism by pointing to me, their mixed race child, I can tell you that this is always misleading. In this case, I feel comfortable saying it's intentional. James tries to excuse the bigotry that "ended up in the videos" by saying that he didn't have time to edit the scripts properly. He doesn't seem to realize that time constraints often make people much more honest. In reality, this is James trying to make excuses for the bigotry he put in his videos because the time constraints he put onto himself made it much more difficult to disguise how he really feels.

James then directs some indignation at the people who are online discussing what he did. I would interpret his discussion of his income as an oblique reference to Dan Olson's thread about his recording equipment if I had a degree in literary analysis. My degree is not in literary analysis, so I'll leave it there. Ahem.

James makes reference to future projects he hopes to work on, as if this endeavor has in any way preserved or helped to bolster his shattered reputation. Jessie Gender makes a great point in saying this feels like a promise of work we could get out of him if we all just collectively decide to ignore all the harm he has caused. And James has caused harm. Whether he meant to or not, given the sheer magnitude of his plagiarism, there is absolutely no doubt that he has caused significant harm to a community he claimed to defend.

I want to spend a moment on something others have already pointed out. Actually, Harry pointed this out too. If James's theft were in any way defensible, he would have defended it. He would not have gone to such great lengths - up to and including deleting videos - to hide it. He wouldn't have used Nick as a shield, he wouldn't have outright lied in his livestreams, and he wouldn't have deactivated his Patreon (before reactivating--y'know what, this post is long enough, we don't need to get into that). James lied and dodged and beat around the bush for years BECAUSE he knew what he was doing was wrong. I had a justice studies professor once tell my class that nobody wakes up in the morning and decides to be A Criminal. People make choices, and choices have consequences, but most people don't choose consequences. People choose the thing that benefits them and consequences follow. James made a long, long series of choices, and I would like to remind everyone that they always had consequences. Even before Harry's video came out, James was facing consequences. Those didn't come from nowhere, they came from the people he was hurting. He knew about them, he just didn't stop because of them. He stopped because he literally couldn't keep going anymore.

Finally, James deleted his misguided response to the multitude of accusations against him. I don't think I need to explain to anyone what that indicates.

I would like to finish by saying that nobody should be harassed. Nobody should be bullied, or dogpiled, or doxxed. Nobody should wake up in the hospital because their dad realized he needed to call an ambulance. James's life is undoubtedly in a really difficult place right now, and while he absolutely deserved to lose his career, that's all he deserved. I hope he regains his health, I really do.

And I hope Harry and his team don't feel any responsibility over this. It seems easy from the outside to believe they wouldn't, but I also know that if I had just released a 4-hour long video detailing someone's fraud and then found out they had been in the hospital because of an incompleted suicide, I would feel pretty conflicted about a project we know Harry already felt conflicted about.

I hope Harry and his team are doing okay, and I hope James starts doing okay soon, and I hope James realizes this was the wrong damn time to try to release an apology. It was a bad apology.

#james somerton #hbomberguy #i am never writing anything this long or detailed for this godforsaken website ever again #plagiarism #plagiarism and you(tube)#and hey! i managed to get through the whole thing without cursing even once

74 notes · View notes

parachutingkitten · 11 months ago

Text

Plastic Women: So, what is my point?

A note for those who somehow would like to hear more from me about the video

The mega video started out as a final essay assignment for a children's media college class. The prompt was ten pages on a topic related to children's media that tied into one of our weekly discussions. Being as obsessed with ninjago as I am, I was obviously going to write about it, and one of our weekly topics had to do with children's media's relationship to gender. I had a lot of thoughts on the female characters of the show, so I decided this essay would be a good opportunity to get those off my chest. Plastic Women: Female Representation in Lego Ninjago was the end result. It was a good essay- maybe I'll post it some time. The only problem was that my initial first draft was nearly a dozen pages long- and I had only just finished my thoughts on Nya. I decided that a paper analyzing the arc of the central female character would be perfectly adequate for the assignment, tightened things up a bit, and submitted it. I knew as soon as I did that the rest of my thoughts would have to come out- and that's what the four hours you've(presumably) watched is.

Being that the original point of the essay was to fulfill an assignment requirement, pinpointing the end goal of the video was a weirdly difficult struggle in the production process. I knew I had a lot of thoughts about the women, I knew it felt important that they get out into the world, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why. Why is this so important? What's my point in making this? Why do I have this drive behind things? I offer up a couple explanations in my video. Part of it was to help improve consciousness of these issues, to stress that female representation is actually important in male targeted media. To help encourage better practices for the show's future, to get people think analytically about the media they consume. These explanations seemed to satisfy me, and I still think they're all very important and valid, but even as I sat down to record the outro, there was this nagging feeling that I hadn't quite gotten to the core of why I was making this. What was driving me to put in a year and a half of effort, scripting, refilms, and endless, endless editing in order to get this out? Because while I do care about all of those things, it doesn't ignite that same passion source of where this video is coming from.

Unfortunately, the realization only really hit me after posting the video- after reading the comments. Unfortunately, the negative ones. I don't want to overstate how much hate the video has gotten, it has been widely well received, but I have my fair share of suspected (or self described) children and pre teens calling me an idiot for overthinking things in the comments. Some of these are obviously only responding to the title and thumbnail, and it's quite fun to scroll through the comment section and point them out. But of the people who have the most plausible deniability for actually watching at least part of the video, the most common criticism was by far the run time. Why am I dedicating this much time to a show which is obviously not a raging hate letter towards women? I'm labeling this thing as sexist when there's a whole season of the lead female fighting sexism. There are so many worse things that might deserve this run time, but ninjago can not be that bad. This is obviously ridiculous.

Now there are a couple of responses I have to this sentiment. First of all, the series is insanely long. I have to not only analyze, but explain all 15 seasons for those who (understandably) haven't watched it all or aren't as obsessive as I am. That's gonna take some time regardless of what angle you're doing a deep dive on. Have you seen the length of some of the show recap videos alone? Second, the video as a whole is a retrospective, not purely a criticism. I spend quite a bit of the run time praising the things which I do like and shrugging at things I think are passable. Third, I state up front that I am purposely looking for all interpretations of the text, because they are all interpretations that a young audience could potentially take away. Even if it's not surface level, if it's one or two layers down, I'm still interested. That means it's not logical to blanketly call the show sexist, because it's not openly promoting these ideas, and that was never my goal, I think I made that clear. In many ways I believe that if this were a "Ninjago is sexist" video it would be a lot shorter. Part of why the runtime is so long is because there is a great deal of nuance to how this show treats its female characters, and nuance takes time. If it were as simple as "Ninjago is obviously misogynistic" I would point to the problem spots and we wouldn't need a discussion. I wouldn't have to analyze. It would just be a statement of fact. But that's why the video's title is much less specific and accusatory. "More misogynistic than you remember" is a lot more open ended. It has some misogyny in there, and it's more than your child brain likely noticed. That doesn't mean it's necessarily overwhelming or defining for the series, it just means that it's there- and that amount is going to differ depending on the viewer and their personal interpretations of the text. I for one thought that the Racer 7 plot line was an obvious dismissal of female struggle, but apparently it's not as clear a universal a reading as I thought. Maybe it's my life experience as a women in a male dominated field that put that front and center under a undeniable spotlight for me, but that doesn't mean that's the universal experience of the show, nor should it count against the show so strongly as I feel it.

But this criticism is finally what made it click for me. I'm not criticizing the show because it's obviously sexist. Quite the opposite. I'm criticizing it because it is trying to not be sexist. I'm criticizing the show because it wants to be progressive, it's trying to include female characters, it is including messages and plotlines specifically to try and uplift women- and it's failing.

I am past the point of feeling the need to point out that andrew tate is wrong for seeing women as lesser. That's not an interesting take, that's not a new idea, and if you need that told to you, you are likely beyond help from a youtube video. I am not here to dabate if female representation is valuable, I am taking that fact as a given because it is a conclusion which I feel is inherently correct. If you have not yet come to this same conclusion, the purpose of this video is not to convince you that it is. That can be someone else's job. This is not a 101 class, it's got some prerequisites, because without them, you aren't going to appreciate my points. I am interested in giving ideas to people who already know their basics. It's not my fault if you're a few decades behind in your ideas on film theory. The efficacy of what constitutes positive female representation has already been debated and outlined for decades by people much smarter than me. I am not here to make their points, I am here to make my own.

I'm not here to point out the problems of blatant sexism, because that has been litigated to death; I'm interested in the problems of sexism today- because yes, even when sexism isn't blatant, it's still a problem. I am interested in breaking down subtle sexism. Accidental sexism. Systemic sexism. Sexism from people who are trying to be inclusive, because they are the ones who will actually take feedback. The sexism that is baked into our media culture, so deeply ingrained that it seems rather acceptable to show sexual assault on a kid's show. I am interested in why a show which so obviously repeatedly tries to incorporate feminist ideas into its plot can so easily rid its female characters of agency. It's not that I made the video to say something about ninjago, it's that I made the video to say something about sexism in media, and used ninjago as my example. It. Is. Everywhere. And perhaps even worse, it is ridiculously easy to accidentally end up in your work.

I do hint at these ideas throughout the run of my video, but I really wish I had known this was where my drive was coming from at the outset, because if I had, this idea would be pressed constantly. Tropes older than the film medium seep into the most basic of plots and position females in passive roles by default, and if you don't know that, you are going to ingrain these ideas into your work. It might not be blatant, it might be quite subtle, but it may also snowball into something egregious, like happens in skybound. It was supposed to be a season (partially)about fighting sexism, but ends up framing our lead female as an object, removing all her agency, and turning our leading man into an extremely objectifying character who never grows out of his possessive behaviors. Like I say at the beginning, this is a cautionary tale. It's active proof that doing the bare minimum in not being offensive in female representation requires an amount of effort that many people don't realize is necessary. It is almost never that the show outright says something sexist, it's that the plot structure and character progression do not think to include its female characters. It is not the text, it's the subtext. And you might not think that subtext is influential, but the very fact that you think it's not is the most terrifying thing about it. Our brains absorb so much more than we know, and the fact that these patterns and stereotypes are seeping in subconsciously without our recognizing it, is perhaps even more dangerous than outwardly sexist media in some cases. Consistency in these patterns is bound to rewire your brain- and you won't even notice.

That's the point I think I failed to emphasize throughout the run. How easy it is. How ridiculously easy it is to fall into these problems. "it's like you see sexism everywhere!" well, yes. It is everywhere. That's the point. It's baked into our culture. It's a corner stone in our media. It's systemic. That's the problem- that it's near impossible to find something that doesn't have it because it's a founding principle of most of human culture. That's why reverse sexism is not nearly as big a deal btw. Sure, shows aimed at little girls have a lot of underdeveloped male love interests, but they also haven't been stuck in that position for centuries upon centuries of human storytelling.

I don't feel the need to prove that the label of misogynist or sexist is befitting of the whole series, because for one, it's not, and for two, that wouldn't do anything. Ninjago is a symptom of the problem. It is not the problem in and of itself. Blacklisting it for being bad doesn't help anything, and I think I made it abundantly clear that was never my intention or desire. My intention was to show you just how prevalent this casual sexism can be. How this subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) undercurrent can be found in something as unexpected as a children's show which actively brags about the strength of its female characters. The goal was to open your eyes to how consistent it is, even if it's not potent. It was to lay out how the patterns tend to present themselves, so that maybe you'll be able to better identify them elsewhere. Because they are elsewhere. They're everywhere. It may not be in as high a dosage as it used to, but collectively it is still a staggering, saturating amount. And if you are an artist looking to make something that doesn't have this subtext, I'm here to warn you that it is likely a steeper up hill battle than you initially presume.

Misogyny is everywhere. I just happen to know a lot about ninjago, so that's where I chose to go in depth in breaking it down. It's a case study- and I think a quite interesting one with a lot of nuance at that. It's what I felt I could contribute, and I have to believe that's enough to justify its existence.

#ninjago #mega video #parachuterants

55 notes · View notes

dogshit-enchantment · 6 months ago

Text

okay i was joking about writing an essay about Cid and while i don't have the brain power or time to do all that, i will expound my thoughts on his relationship with Shera. They're coworkers, first and foremost. She's a rocket scientist assigned by Shinra to stay in Rocket Town and help with the space program. Why exactly she lives with Cid is ??? I don't know if it's ever explained or if its just a matter of them being roommates. Regardless.

I will state that it is wrong that Cid yells at her, but in the same instance I will also say that she herself is also in the wrong for what she did. She's supposed to be a professional in charge of checking equipment and making sure it's all working as it should, and when she notices a problem she doesn't say anything. She doesn't tell anyone and get the launch delayed, she doesn't tell Cid so he can stall for time, she instead decides 'yeah I don't care if I die' and silently continues working while within the blast zone. The scene of the launch gets translated as "Are you trying to make me a murderer, Shera?!" because that's how Cid assumes it to be: She is trying to commit suicide by his fucking hand. That would make anyone fucking pissed off. Imagine having to live with someone who tried to get you to tie their fucking noose. Yeah, he probably shouldn't be yelling at her and it's shitty that he does and they should talk it out, but how realistic is that? They don't have therapists at Shinra, and they sure as hell don't have therapists in the boonies. Cid copes by chain smoking and holding onto hope that the one thing that almost destroyed both of their lives will still come to fruition. And it does, and Shera is still fucking there, and it come full circle with the oxygen tank exploding and almost fucking killing him. Her failure to alert others almost cost Shera her life and almost cost Cid his life on two fucking occasions. Neither of them are blameless, and even the small "sorry" when he's trapped under shrapnel is monumental. He knows he's being too much, but what the fuck else is he gonna do?

Clearly they make amends and become better friends considering in Advent Children he names his newest ship after her and in DoC apparently they get married??? (I don't agree with that one but its at least something to show that he did finally make it to the other side of like, all that)

Cid went through the trauma of almost killing his fucking coworker/roommate/friend because she wouldn't speak up, lashes out because of that trauma and the fact that her inaction cost everyone on that team the hope of space, not just himself. He's flawed and he's aggressive, but he comes around, he makes the effort, and most of all he cares, whether the people around him want him to or not.

Shera is not entirely blameless and Cid is not off the hook by any means, they both got issues and they both need therapy but alas, they are video game characters and this is all just bullet points to make the plot go forward.

me, a liar: I'm not gonna write an essay about Cid >proceeds to write a mini essay about him instead of doing whatever the fuck else i was doing with my day

#rambling #cid highwind #i love him a lot but hes not without his faults #but tbh i think that just makes him more relatable #like ive yelled at my coworkers for way less serious shit yknow #like hes a dickhead yeah but i wouldnt say hes an abuser

16 notes · View notes

serendertothesquad · 4 months ago

Text

Seren's Studies: Wordsville's Official Release -- Is It Really an Odd Squad Clone? (Part 1)

You can bet your fine ass I am, because, to put it nicely, the fuck is this?

All right. Anyway. So part of what I used to weaponize my YouTube channel for was doing Seren Reacts videos on new PBS Kids shows. Basically, I'd take the first episode they'd upload and react to it. Since I don't have the capacity to actually do that for this show, and since I did tell you all I'd do a Seren's Study on Wordsville when it came out and I had a chance to see it...here ya go. I watched the first episodes of this thing so you don't have to!

...Uh...well...if you don't want to, anyway.

In this essay, I'm going to put the final nail in the coffin as to the issue of whether Wordsville is truly an Odd Squad ripoff or not. I'll also be picking apart the first episode screencap by screencap, just like I used to do in the good old days of Odd News.

(At the very least, the America's Funniest Home Videos animation I'm not a fan of. At least with Tom Bergeron it was funny.)

Below the break we go!

(Just as a side note: this will be split into multiple parts because Tumblr apparently has a photo limit now. That's...gonna make these followup Seren's Studies just a bit trickier.)

Ohhhh they're really trying, bless their little hearts.

Look at that, they even threw in a goddamn university degree like these kids up and went to Harvard. Because Odd Squad agents didn't go to university and aw God man you gotta be shitting me.

Man, the theme even follows the same schtick of Odd Squad agents explaining who they are and what they do! I guess that's one for the Half-Ass list...

(And on a related note, because I don't think I brought this up: Gabby's actress sounds like she was on Odd Squad at one point, but hell if I know where. Guess I'll know when the credits come up.)

Hm. Hah. Just like, y'know, Olive and Otto, Orla and Omar at one point in ti- really, do I have to keep going?

You could tell me this was an Odd Squad sequel spinoff in disguise and I'd 100% believe you.

(Also is that...is that a rainbow bead design in the upper right there? Does Sly is gay or am I just going nuts because this episode was uploaded in Pride Month and Sinking Ship already has some LGBTQ+ rep under their belt?)

I will say that, unlike with Odd Squad, I appreciate them not making this out to be some stupidly thinly-veiled Zoom or Skype parody. It looks like a new fresh platform that isn't supposed to reference anything. I like that!

...Nah, not even I'm desperate enough to pry an Odd Squad jab out of this title.

I am, however, getting flashbacks to Wonderful Precure and people speculating about the colors in the title. If this were one of those seasons we'd have a group of five with a blue-green Cure as the leader, which would melt the Internet. Definitely. Maybe.

Also, unless they're working on Odd Squad UK and we don't know it yet, Christin Simms is not an Odd Squad name I recognize. Seems they've worked on pretty much every modern Sinking Ship series but Odd Squad, which I choose to take as intentional just due to the similarities between the two series alone. I mean let's be honest...if it were an Odd Squad writer, it would really only reinforce a few of my points.

So I've chosen to watch "The Case of the Disappearing Donuts", mainly because I believe that's the episode that was featured in the sample script I talked about in the previous Seren's Study. Just...y'know, as a heads-up. I tried to go for the first episode.

And needless to say...I'm not sure if this is it (TVO released five episodes in a bundle and your guess is as good as mine as to which one is the series premiere) but I can already see a striking difference with Odd Squad, in that yes, Wordsville does indeed launch us clear into the plot without any warning. Yeah yeah they explained it in the intro but I do not care. Let me get to know your characters first!

Once again, I will reiterate for you all: this show being purely digital instead of live-action completely hinders it. It is 2024. The pandemic is not an excuse anymore. I'd get more enjoyment out of this if it weren't two people communicating through mock Apple laptops.

And if you aren't getting what I'm picking at, imagine if, for the nearly ten years it's been on, Odd Squad was a purely-digital show. Would we get the worldbuilding? The lore? The character development? The funny interactions? No, no, no, and no. It's like the difference between talking to someone in video chat and talking to someone in real life. One boosts your health. The other one, not so much.

Clearly they didn't really try for this bit in the audio department, because this cookie is all about that bass with absolutely no fuckin' treble.

(To be fair, though, Odd Squad has soundbytes like this from time to time too. So I can't really complain all that much.)

Something I was shocked to find out about Wordsville: each episode is all of 8 minutes long. Which...doesn't really help the series' case because the pacing is utterly atrocious. For Odd Squad, which has mostly 11-minute episodes, the pacing is smoother for a lot of them. I can take my time, understand what's going on, and enjoy what I'm seeing. Hell, even Tiny Time Travel's pacing isn't awful for the short time it has, and I wasn't gonna even touch that show for this Seren's Study because it's not made by the same people outside of Tim...until people brought up similarities, and I felt at least obligated to mention it once.

This falls squarely into the category of "if I go on an acid trip, can I drag out this episode three times longer than it actually is?"

We.

Are 55 seconds in.

And we are already getting to the conflict.

...Hand me the bong. The BIG bong. If you see dogs in my front yard, just tell 'em to get inside and glow upstairs because I'm goin' hard.

BIG BONG.

...I'm not touching the timing of this call because convenience is in literally every piece of media with video chatting ever. It's not just a Wordsville thing.

The Town Baker walked so Baker Graham could work his hand at a whip.

No but seriously, I can't look at this character and not think of Chef O from Odd Squad UK. The brainrot set in once I viewed the trailer. It hasn't left.

Hey, it's a good marketing tactic.

And it makes a great gift for your SO if they happen to have a name that starts with any of the letters. Hell, get the U, the T and the I and you'd have a winner!

...

Waaaaaaait a second-

In this era of super-powerful processors and AI seeping into anything and everything, there is no scientifically possible way Gabby can pull up a computer dictionary within milliseconds.

And when Odd Squad, the show that has ironic low-tech stuff, is more realistic than your high-tech show, you got a problem.

Minute and a half into this thing and this is the only bit that got me close to smiling thus far.

But something I wanna point out is that I've gotten cookies from bakeries that look a lot better than that. Hell, the cookies at my local supermarket look better than that! Just as big, and far yummier!

I see they switched around the personalities for Sly and Gabby, and I can see why.

Gabby emotes the most.

So does Olive.

Gabby is Olive with a braid and a fedora.

Gabby is the serious o- guys, really, must I go on?

Something something substituting bagels like in "Soundcheck" for donuts instead.

This is what happens when you let your co-CEO binge-watch all the Shrek movies, Sly.

Careful, Gabby...please don't drop the title.

Odd Squad doesn't drop the title all that much, but the fact that the episodes are referred to as cases in-universe sells the comparison. Wordsville's cases are just...different. Copyright infringement and all that. When Oprah sues, she sues hard.

Thank you. I hate it. Off you will fuck from my lawn.

...Look, I know what the "Sly-mation" is and y'all are not being slick. You don't get to wave a fucking stylus in my face and say what you're doing is animation but with a fancy name. Animation is hard. Animating stuff halfway and slapping your client's head on their animated body instead of drawing a face resembling your client is a disservice and I will abso-fucking-lutely take that personally as a fan of animation.

I mean, hey, if I were an animator, I'd fully commit. You people remember that the studio who made this worked on a Spongebob movie. Lemme repeat: a Spongebob movie. And yet this is what they decide to do for animation.

When Odd Squad does animation, it's good in most instances. (I choose to forget "Olive and Otto in Shmumberland", TYVM.) Not anything stellar, but it certainly is passable. Here? Lol. Lmao, even. God no. This feels like a way to insert animation into the show but without employing the CGI that other shows, Odd Squad included, have. Like a "lol I'm so quirky" thing.

Get out.

This is like if Disney had Disneymation. Dreamworksation. Laikation. Netflixation. Huluation. So on and so forth.

Point being, it's dumb. Just say it's animation and stop plopping flowers onto it. When you get more of a time limit, then you can be quirky all you want.

We are now 2 minutes into an 8-minute episode. I know what's happening. Kids know what's happening. Unless you're banking on the research that kids' attention spans are the size of a pea, we do not need a recap.

...Is this really the same person who wrote for Endlings? Because apparently they can't handle something in an 8-minute timeframe.

You either get the Chad Blender/Flash/ToonBoom, or you get the Virgin Mock Scratch.

I just feel cheated. Disappointed. Like when your mom and dad drove by McDonald's when you were a kid after they promised you they would get you some. I've seen good animation. They had the chance to do better, and didn't. That's what pisses me off the most. It's that complete utter wasted potential.

I know Vet Wilder is a reference to some celebrity (the name is at least somewhat familiar), but I'm at a complete loss as to if they did the same thing for Athlete Glory or if they just confined a girl named Glory to one destiny in life.

So she'll become...a Faded Glory.

(I'm sorry, I had to.)

Okay, they're reiterating this for the young children, and I- guys, this hurts. It's like they're trying to differentiate themselves from Odd Squad but tripping over their own feet in the process.

Ten cookies Gene Vet Wilder gave it to an animal named Yummy and that this series will go down another Odd Squad route and defy biology.

Either that, or "Yummy" is his pet name for Not-So-Faded Glory, which I am banking absolutely nothing on because romance.

...No, not Baker Graham's cookies. I'm sure dude's good at what he does, but I know of a better bakery, thank you very much.

*aggressively takes out the ibuprofen for the headache this shit is giving me*

This reads like TVOkids font, and I'm not even mad.

I'm only sad I didn't get the "I know so much about fonts" autism.

(Also, this is really just called The Bakery? They have one bakery? That's it? Even Toronto has more than one!)

-----------------------------

Onward to Part 2!

#seren's studies #wordsville

5 notes · View notes

self-loving-vampire · 1 year ago

Text

I have been thinking about how I am exactly the type of person who can actually really enjoy grinding in video games (at least if it's done properly).

I know that this is unusual since grinding is generally considered a negative about a game, but I have a small essay mentally prepared to explain what I like about it and what types work best for me.

To explain it in my signature horny way: I think a good grind is kind of like entering a hypnotic trance. Your thoughts and stress fade away and you focus only on the task ahead. You stop worrying and stressing and instead think only of making numbers go up.

This can be really pleasant to certain mental architectures.

But I think there's also certain factors that can make grinds better or worse, at least from my subjective point of view.

1- The most important thing is that I think a good grind should have some form of constant and tangible forward progress.

In most games, this means gaining experience and leveling up, with things like rare item drops usually being just a nice bonus. It's important for these levels to actually do something significant for you too.

For example, new abilities, new opportunities, access to new tiers of power, etc. It should not just be a barely-perceptible stat increase like a +1% to piercing damage or an extra +2 strength points added to the 60 you already have. Stuff like that doesn't feel like it changes your power level at all.

And it's not just about getting noticeably stronger either. Ideally you should also be unlocking new activities to do, new mechanics to play with, new places to visit, and so on. Even if it's a long total grind, it feels a lot better if it's broken up into smaller sections where you're even slightly changing activities as you unlock more of them.

I have more mixed feelings on stuff like grinding for rare items exclusively. That ends up feeling significantly more binary if you're not also getting some other meaningful reward in the process. It still feels satisfying when whatever you were hunting for finally drops, but until then it feels a lot more tiring without the frequent dopamine hits.

For example, grinding for rare pokemon to catch did not feel nearly as fun to me as grinding for levels in something like Wizardry 8.

2- A good framework for the grind.

Related to the above: Grinds that give you an extreme objective from the outset are harder to enjoy even if you are making constant progress towards them, and that's if you even remember them consciously.

It helps to instead have a bunch of smaller (and relatively varied!) grinds rather than a single extreme one, and then you move on to a different place to do a different set of smaller grinds.

Also on the topic of frameworks, some cool and distinctive aesthetic reward can make the grind more satisfying. I am more likely to be excited if what I'm grinding for is a cool vampiric ability or an item that looks great rather than just the mandatory next tier of advancement.

3- Some social option.

I don't necessarily mean that the game has to have multiplayer or anything, but it can be nice when it is slow and passive enough that you can talk to your friends through text as you play, just so you're still getting your interaction with them and keeping them up to date on your milestones and progress and all. Grinds that require less interaction like that are also nice in that they require less mental effort.

This is not all there is to it either... many factors go into this kind of thing.

18 notes · View notes

voiddemon · 2 years ago

Note

can i ask what is kinyarn 😭

I think it's about time I explained Kin-Yarn to the new generation instead of jokingly brushing it off and making people do their own research.

Please note I will be spelling Kin-Yarn with the hyphen, as god (me) intended. Kinyarn is still hella valid and the more commonly used name. I also wont be going into my interpretations too much since it's complicated and long i do not actually ship it i promise.

Kin-Yarn is the greatest Kirby ship of all time. It's the ship between Yin-Yarn from Kirby's Epic Yarn, and Kine the fish from hell. There isn't anything canon for it, these characters have never and will never interact in HAL's eyes. However we, the fans, know better.

After reading my thesis I'd strongly recommend checking out all of the content the long dead kin-yarn fandom has to offer. Most of it is like, really old, since those around for Kin-Yarn's inception have either left tumblr, moved onto new and cooler fandoms, or don't think it's that funny anymore. (It isn't because it's a fandom in-joke from two years ago.) Thankfully there are many great relics of the past, of the days when new Kin-Yarn content showed up every like five posts on your dash. AO3 has most of the Kin-Yarn fanfiction that's been written, but some of it is hidden away within blog archives and dusty links to google docs. Kin-Yarn videos also exist, including some (two) AMVs and the classic Kin-Yarn ASMR made by yours truly. The Kin-yarn/Kinyarn tag on tumblr.com also has a lot of posts so just go through that.

I. HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

Kin-Yarn was made at some point in October 2020. Out there on the internet there is a site called FanficMaker. It's a pretty basic website. I don't know exactly how the creators found the material to make this, but there is a okay-ish sized pool of sets.

These sets are fairly generic stories, with the program plugging in the names of characters you input into specific slots. There's a surprising amount of variation between these sets, but after you play with the site too long you start seeing the same ones over and over.

So Voiddemon a few years ago found this website, and decided to make some fanfiction and upload it to tumblr.com. On one occasion, the website generated the sentence "It was Yin-Yarns gay wedding party..." It didn't say who he was marrying, but I found it funny and uploaded it to tumblr.com. On a separate day, in a separate prompt, I put Kine in and it gave me a similar result. "Meanwhile, Susies mind was wondered back to the past. It was Kines gay wedding party..." I also found this funny because. Kine. And uploaded it to tumblr.com.

Here are the two screenshots together <3

I will now introduce Ninikins (Who has since changed their username and moved on from the Kirby fandom), who suggested that the two of them were getting married to each other. Everyone in my circle online at the time found the idea hilarious because.

From here everyone went crazy and just started. Kin-yarning all over the place.

II. Fan Interpretations

Memetaknight, creator of the greatest Kin-yarn fanfiction of all time Yiracle (It's my favorite :shrug:) created a Kin-Yarn Essay. Today it is a great time capsule that brings us into the culture around Kin-yarn in the past. It's just over two years old now so happy birthday Kin-Yarn essay. It delves into the two primary interpretations around the ship. I'll just quote the most important bits of it since I'm lazy you can go check my sources ok.

"A common Kin-Yarn characterization is to ship either both brothers with Kine (as a V shape relationship), or just one of the brothers with Kine... This interpretation has many specific tropes... but it has one extremely interesting idea that is unique to it. In the spirit of Kirby’s Epic Yarn’s final battle... it has been theorized that something similar could apply to Kin-Yarn, in which the brothers would catfish Kine .. Kine, either on purpose or on accident."

"The other interpretation sees the yarn body previously mentioned as a third entity... which is referred as Yin-Yarn separate from the needle brothers. This characterization idea arises from the fact Yin-Yarn is referred as a singular character"

There is a third interpretation that stems from the two of these, which is that both the Yarn Body or puppet is in love with Kine and so is at least one of the knitting needles.

Often in Kin-Yarn works, it is unclear which one of these the creator interprets the ship as, since artwork and fics include all three characters (The puppet and the two needles) with no clear distinction between them. A distinction being drawn is more commonly in artwork, due to the nature of the medium.

III. Love and Marriage

For the most part, Kin-Yarn is portrayed as a perfect relationship. With Kine and Yin-Yarn being madly in love. The nature of one being a hero and another being a villain is not often explored, but when it is explored the most common interpretation is Kine accepts Yin-Yarn despite his past wrongdoings. Oftentimes Yin-Yarn will reform and become good for Kine.

they also have sex

III A. Who are Prince Fluff's Parents?

Prince Fluff (Also from Kirby's Epic Yarn) has no stated or seen parents within the series. Originally KEY was called "Keito no Fluff", and featured Prince Fluff himself as the protagonist. He was supposed to be searching for his mother, but this was removed from KEY so he has. No parents.

A semi-common headcanon within the Kirby fandom is that Prince Fluff was created by Yin-Yarn, which is what originally spawned this interpretation. A few perceptive Kin-Yarnians noticed that Kine and Prince Fluff have the same exact color scheme. Like it's kind of uncanny actually Kine is just a little desaturated.

This caused the creation of the Yamily Tree, an. absurdly large family tree but it's kinda bloated and not that funny anymore. Here's the condensed version

Usually Prince Fluff is not actually biologically related to Kine. Since that has horrifying implications. Instead it implies that after Kine and Yin-Yarn are married, they adopt Prince Fluff (Which he usually isn't happy with).

III B. KINE'S DIVORCES

Ok so Kine Kirby is married to Mine canonically. However we haven't seen her in a very long time, and in Kirby Clash Kine is sleeping on a bench. Leading to the idea that he and Mine got a divorce. This is accepted by everyone who ships Kin-Yarn because Kine cheating on his wife isn't a laughing matter, but Kine leaving his wife for Yin-Yarn is. (Usually the interpretation is Mine leaving Kine)

Even though Kin-Yarn is interpreted as perfect most times, other interpretations are that after they get married the relationship becomes volatile. At the core the two still love each other, but due to one reason or another they've grown apart. This is best shown in the Kin-Yarn Fanfiction named after the ships national anthem, "The One That Got Away" on AO3 by HeavyLobster77.

This is very popular both for the drama and because it's very funny.

IV. Historical Kin-Yarn Events & Holidays

-The Great Kin-Yarn Porn Scare of 1969 Someone uploaded an explicit Kin-Yarn fic on AO3 tagged as explicit with very SUS tags. It wasn't real though and the fic is just among us.

-Kin-Yarn Discord There's a Kin-Yarn discord out there that's dead as hellll and I'm. Not sharing a link good luck finding it

-Kin-Yarn WORLD TOUR I blazed a Kin-Yarn post when tumblr Blaze first came out. Spending real money to force people to look upon Kin-Yarn was a powerful move.

-Feared Anon creating the best AUs of all time Kinederella (Technically theres no real au just funny images)

-Kin-Yarn Blog Wars ok i cannot find many of the blogs but for a bit everyone made blogs dedicated to loving or hating kin-yarn. Also KinYarn-Archives was created at some point around this time I think.

-Kin-Yarn BANNED from the Shipping Wiki Tumblr user Kaissauce tried to create a page on the shipping Wikipedia, but it was deleted by the mods lmao. Here's what the page originally looked like.

-Urban Dictionary somehow it got on fucking urban dictionary. this was my doing but it should never have been allowed to happen.

-Kin-Yarn: The Movie Released on July 29th 2021

no comment needed we've all seen it

-Kin-Yarn Day Kin-Yarn day is a national holiday beloved and celebrated by all, on February 14th. No other holiday is celebrated that day <3

V. Conclusion

idk how to end this thing. love wins and it shouldn't. do your own research

#kin-yarn #kinyarn #long post #i gave up with it i am tired :pensive:#here u go anon

75 notes · View notes

angedemystere · 11 months ago

Text

Reading Wrap Up for 2023

Sad to say, I finished fewer books this year (22) than last year (35), but I started more books. Starting a full time job in August while staying at my part-time job brought my reading to a screeching halt. Here's my takeaway on what I can do going forward:

not read multiple books

set up a stricter reading routine

load up on mysteries

crank down on nonfiction

put down books that are not holding my attention

Another dilemma is that I'm joining my church's Bible Challenge where we read the all of it in a year. But I want to adjust my habits, anyway, so I'll use more downtime for reading in general.

Anyway, here are the books I read, my ratings, and my quick thoughts:

European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman (2.5/5) - I'm peeved by this series. There's a lot to like, but why, WHY does Goss insist on warping the preexisting characters? I'm not continuing this series unless someone convinces me it's worthwhile.

Jesus: A Story of Enlightenment (3.5/5) - It's interesting, for sure. That's ... probably the highest praise I can give. There are ideas in this I don't agree with, but I thought about this book for a while after finishing it. I wouldn't discourage anyone from trying it. Just don't take it as gospel.

The Other Paris (4/5) - Woof! This book might punch your faith in humanity in the face, but you'll be fascinated while it's happening. Great glimpse into the not glamorous side of Paris.

The Monstrumologist (3.5/5) - This one took me a couple tries to start, but it finally sucked me in. I think, while the monster stuff is great, the book got more interesting as the relationship between the POV character and the scientist developed. It's like if Sherlock Holmes studied and hunted monsters, was more of a jerk, and had a kid sidekick instead of Watson.

Monk's Hood (4/5) - This installment of the Brother Cadfael mysteries felt more like "things are fairly normal but then this person/situation arises" without it being a huge crisis like a war. It also stays in Shrewsbury, which makes it fun to watch Cadfael as he maneuvers around his home turf.

Till We Have Faces (4.5/5) - I didn't expect to enjoy this retelling so much! I'm not even a huge fan of the Eros/Psyche myth. Or maybe that explains my enjoyment - it doesn't focus much on Psyche or Eros, rather fleshing out Psyche's sister (look I'm a sucker for ugly protags).

Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road? (4/5) - Solid nonfiction read about how Christians can better communicate with and love people of different religious beliefs (or heck, even other Christians who don't agree with them on certain points). Worth checking out if you're interested in discourse on this subject.

On Stories (4/5) - More C.S. Lewis and various essays on how and why stories do what they do, especially fantasy. Can't remember much about specific points right now, but I enjoy his point of view, especially as a writer.

To Kill a Kingdom - (2.5/5) Not my cup of tea in the end. I wanted to like it - Little Mermaid retelling, enemies to lovers with monstrous protag who starts off hating humans but learns to bond with them. Except I didn't see much bonding between the MC and the humans she's forced to cooperate with. Even when she does develop her relationship with the main guy who becomes her love interest, I was lukewarm on their romance. Never got attached to the characters tbh.

City of Light, City of Poison (4.5/5) - It was wild reading this book, then watching the Puppet History video on this topic and realizing it was about the same thing! Anyway, CRAZY real-life story about 17th century shenanigans. The writer does a great job weaving a narrative out of many people's lives and building up the intrigue.

The Three from Galilee (3.5/5) - I liked this imagined way Jesus could have grown up with his family. It filled out parts of his family we don't think much about, like his grandparents and siblings. There are also sweet nods to parables he will tell later. The big thing holding this back from a 4 was the weird romance subplot near the end. I'm fine with giving fiction!Jesus a love interest to explore the idea of what that could've been like. But the way it was handled ... just ... what?

The Good Death (3.5/5) - My first foray into this series, even though it's not the first in the series. I'd like to go back and check out the first installment. While I liked how it followed two timelines to build up the mystery of the first murder (chronologically) that the MC gets involved in, the solution to the mystery left a bad taste for me. I'm fine with how the later timeline wrapped up, if a bit strained in its conflict. I'll read more, but I'm not in a rush.

The House of Silk (4/5) - I read Horowitz's Moriarty last year, which was interesting but odd to fit into the Holmes canon. House of Silk felt more like a natural fit because it's a case for Holmes and Watson. Dark and ultimately sad but well worth the time.

Legend (3.5/5) - I went into this with maybe too high expectations of it being a Les Mis reimagining with the MCs paralleling Jean Valjean and Javert. Which they do, but they're unique characters. I'll admit, I didn't get as invested in them as I am in the OGs, but their story was enjoyable. Not sure I'm motivated to continue the series, though.

The Warden (4/5) - I didn't realize this was going to end on a mf cliffhanger. Yeah, I'm telling you that right off the bat. What a rip. I still like it, but how can you do that to me? Anyway, it's a D&D style story set in a village with some small-town problems and a potential BIG problem looming in the background. That fits my jam as long as the characters are interesting, which they are. Nice!

The Monstrous Child (3/5) - The very rare Norse myth retelling that focuses on Hel. It reads like middle grade or young YA, which I think is the intention. Hel is very snappish, but almost all the characters are unpleasant, so her attitude fits. It also seemed shallow when there's a lot of pain that doesn't get addressed in a satisfying way. It has its moments, but few and far between.

Hounded (4/5) - I'm surprised by how much I got invested. It's urban fantasy with all mythologies, but this story keeps the focus on Irish gods and stories. The MC strikes that balance of powerful and vulnerable enough that he can't take on the antagonist with ease. Also, he has a dog, and he respects powerful women. Will try more!

The Shack (4/5) - This book confused me because I wasn't sure if the author had inserted himself as a character and/or if the real world part was based on a true story. But I liked the story and the truths it explored about our relationship with God while still feeling grounded in a person's unique experiences (rather than just an illustrative sermon). Plus, it was fun seeing God the Father as a vivacious black woman and Jesus showing human clumsiness.

Out of the Silent Planet (4.5/5) - I'm showing my Lewis bias, I know. He just knows how to pace a story that at parts could be boring because not a lot is happening. I was invested the whole time thanks to how invested in the MC is. And the MC has no reason to care about anything because he just stumbles (and gets kidnapped) into the adventure. Do you think Ransom is a little based on a young Tolkien?

The Thursday Murder Club (4/5) - Fun, funny, and surprisingly dark mystery featuring septuagenarians as the detectives. It did keep me guessing. Sometimes the twists were a bit much with how quickly one apparent solution came up, only to be dashed by what was really going on. The one book this year I read in a day.

The Invisible Man (3.5/5) - This is a dark comedy. We can agree on that, right? Like, slap-stick comedy with morbid moral questions. The guy causes mayhem, including to himself. And then he thinks he can rule the world? How am I not supposed to find that funny?

The Phantom of the Opera: A Graphic Novel (4.5/5) - Beautiful adaptation of the novel that captures the gothic atmosphere and shows the Phantom as a terrifying, pathetic dude. It trims some of the subplots that don't involved Christine and Raoul, which for the sake of story flow makes sense.

#booklr #reading wrap up #book reading #reading 2023

2 notes · View notes

chessere · 1 year ago

Text

Ethan Winters. Simon Jarrett. Existential Horror. Something. It's 3 AM Man.

First of all I have to say that I've never played SOMA myself before. When I say I'm horrible with horror I really mean it, but the core theme of the game and how it deals with humanity has been a huge source of inspiration for me for a while. The best part is you don't even have to play the game yourself. Just listening to video essays is enough to make you think for hours if you're not careful lol

Obviously spoilers for both SOMA and RE8, but like, the games are out for years now...

The point is, I feel like understanding Simon Jarrett would help with understanding Ethan Winters a lot better, and why just excepting that he's molded might not work for him. I feel like they have some similarities in terms of their existential horror but SOMA showed it better as it was the whole point about the game, while RE8 is left to be just an underlying thoughts as it was more action-focused... If you can't explain it properly using one game, then use another game baby!!!

Now, I don't think Capcom thought that far ahead, but hey, nothing wrong with trying to humanize your favorite character, right? That's my dad, y'know? So in that way it's pretty much a personal interpretation rather than an actual analysis. Again. It is also 3 AM right now. Hot damn.

Pretty early on in SOMA, you encounter a robot, or a Mockingbird, to be exact, who still thought of himself as a human. He fully believed himself to be an injured human and asked the protagonist to help him. Telling him that he was a robot would anger him, and he'd tell you he still had arms and legs... Or after that, another brain scan that shut himself down from stress once he realized something was wrong and had to be convinced that the simulation was real for him to give up. And then there's Simon himself, too. Initially, Simon also saw himself as a human, flesh and all. Only when he looked into the mirror did he become aware of his true appearance. Do you see what I'm getting at here. The brain does weird things to keep itself together is another thing that was also presented in SOMA.

Not only that, but Simon was also repeatedly explained about the process of brain scanning and how it works, how they'd always be left behind while it was their copies that would live on, but he simply couldn't comprehend it, or rather he wouldn't listen. Repressed, in denial, whatever. It was, after all, an awful truth. Anyways, the last thing Simon knew he was a normal guy with a brain injury, and then he wasn't anymore, but he didn't know that and kept thinking he was normal up until a certain point, sounds familiar?

The point is, you could probably apply the same thought process to Ethan, too, although less extreme as he didn't suddenly wake up a robot. I see a lot of people questioning why Ethan thought he could just reattach his hand and not realize that there was something wrong with him. Personally I think that what if, on a certain level, he did know that he wasn't normal anymore, hence immediately coming to the conclusion that he could just reattach his limbs, but he never questioned it or dig deeper because his brain shut it out to keep itself together. He died, literally. Foot to the head right after his wife chainsawed his arm off. That HAD to be one hell of a trauma. And by the time he finally realized he died, Ethan was angry and had a one-track mind. He did freak out for a bit when Eveline broke it to him ("Then what am I?") but he didn't have time to have a crisis. He had to pull himself together ("Family? F-Family? No! Rose! I have to...save...my daughter!") and save Rose. Then he died before he had a chance to fully comprehend the real horror that lies beyond his superficial humanity.

(I also think he's dubiously human as hell. Best case scenario is the mold revived him and he retained his consciousness. Worst case is the real Ethan died right there and the Ethan that lived on was an archived consciousness, or the mold integrated with him so well it inherited his memories and thought it was Ethan Winters. You can pick whichever you like. A little existential dread is fun once in a while-)

There's not much to talk about here but there's also a pretty interesting parallel at the end where the brain scan of Simon got launched into the ark, and as for Ethan, an archive of his consciousness lives on in the realm of consciousness.

That's probably enough for today I think. I really need to sleep instead of rambling about a fictional man's potential existential dread jfjdjfjjdjfj

#ethan winters #resident evil #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #SOMA #simon jarrett #i'm sanecore normalpilled about ethan yeah #rambles

4 notes · View notes

weirdlyfitting · 2 years ago

Text

Hmmm long time no ramble abt myself so here i am lmaooo

I've been keeping these thoughts and problem to myself and it has affected my mental health tbh, just ignore this if y'all don't want to read some negativity cause this had a lot of it :(

So what happened???

Long story short i enjoy video essays so much (especially for mcu) but because they've been too critical these days that the contents made me uncomfortable in so many ways

I love, LOVEEE video essays cause not only i learn something from a writing standpoint it's also about my favorite thing, it's like listening to a friend's story while i'm doing something or nothing, well mostly i did it when drawing tho

IF i watched these kinds of contents again again and againnnn, it's not enjoyable and i feel like it's too much. Kinda ironic considering one of the critics for phase 4 included having too many projects and simply being too much.

There are some points that i def agree on tho, but seriously when could these people talk about the good stuff that came out of phase 4? As in stuff like these

AND ESPECIALLY THIS

Back then i watched the wandavision analysis video after i started to watch (well obvi) wandavision and it grew on me because as the show went on he kept uploading the analysis of each new episodes up to the finale :D

It's incredibly shocking for me to learn that trauma played a really important role on the whole story, pretty much the same with real life tho so it's (again shockingly for me) relatable

Some times later then i find this video i'm beyond sad, and i think i had a breakdown??? Idk my memory's a mess but yea it affected me til this day

I hated the way she's handled in multiverse of madness like she's just having a solo story on her journey of 5 stages of grief and holy fuck she's a villain now??? But pre multiverse of madness she is a great hero to me

I feel like this guy didn't understand or acknowledge what psychosis is (NOT psychopath) when making the video tho (when talking abt pre mom wanda)

I've ever had a psychotic break and i relate to wanda a little by little as the episode went on, it's maddening because i couldn't control any of what i see, hear, or feel. God I just wish more people are kinder on mental health subject :(

I'm not a psychopath, i'm not a narcissist. I'm in need of serious help and by watching positive essays about my comfort characters, movies, or shows helped me understanding the why and what caused it (yes therapy is expensive). I needed comfort and i'd never do harm to others to get that comfort, the psychotic breakdown only happened to me and i've seen shits that i don't want to see anymore. It's a lot :(

Anyway back to it, i've rarely seen anyone who made a video essay talking and explaining about the good stuff that came from phase 4. As in like "the whole phase" yknow?

I mean this phase isn't perfect, maybe far from it tho, there were up and downs yes they exists, too many projects that made mcu feels like a homework and not an event.

But this phase was also one of the only thing that were there for me in dark times, reminder that in 2021 the pandemic still exist and i wasn't able to learn fully at school and all those stuff

Let's say i was still isolated from outside life, really is an introverted person and all i had was internet and comfy bedroom, not to mention my psychotic breakdown happened too for sometimes

When no way home came i feel like it's a movie made for me cause i was kinda in peter's place. I was too struggling to find a university, i didn't know where to go and watching this movie made me feel safe and keeping me to keep going to search on my uni

Then oh my god where do i even begin : moon knight

this show changes lives and i'm one of those life who's changed jagsjsgshsgs, i was in my darkest and i mean it, DARKEST mental state i've ever been on. But this show kept me going, this show was there for me, greeting itself as a friend then it grew on me as time changes. I'm forever grateful to watch this show when it's still aired from the first ep 🥺

I met a uni friend who loved moon knight and overall mcu and oscar too, plus the moots in here aaaa it's just so memorable!

So yeah, phase 4 may be messy and all but it's a good mess for me. I simply would not care anymore if i recieve negative essay reccommendations on my youtube, i'd only watch them when i feel like i want to

With now in phase 5 tho, i'm hoping the flaws from phase 4 can improove. I feel like quantumania is def an okay start for phase 5

there's always a room to grow

#mcu #marvel cinematic universe

4 notes · View notes

selkies-world · 5 months ago

Text

OK I've been debating whether or not to add this experience onto here, but decided it's a pretty important one to mention.

I'm aro, and I'm getting better at being open with that now - but back at the time of all this discourse, that was not a fucking option. I hated being aro, and thought it meant I was too broken or too traumatised etc etc. Yes, I blamed my trauma. Yes, I blamed my Aspergers. Yes, I blamed my dysphoria. I was so not OK with being aro, but I still wanted to explore it, which was really confusing to me. I remember just crying some nights because if I couldn't fall in love then what's the point of being alive, because aren't we all meant to fall in love to be able to have a life worth living? Isn't it love and romance, or a hermit life with 16 cats, since love is the only emotion that matters??? I was terrified of being aro, I was terrified of being trans, I was terrified of people finding out I had Aspergers, I was terrified of being everything I was. So I redressed it all - I said I was waiting for marriage, I said I thought modern society treated "love" as being too common, that we had cheapened the notion of it by overusing the word, I said so much fucking shit to try and convince myself I wasn't aro or broken, I was just someone with old-fashioned standards.

But the pivotal moment when I deleted those posts, and shut the fuck up about aro feels & backed tf away from ace & aro communities??? The moment I left it all for dead & swore to never go back?

I followed an ace positivity / awareness blog run by someone with a YouTube channel, where they were open about being ace & stated they wanted to make the community a safe place, to raise awareness of ace identities and were there to help anyone with any questions they had about asexuality. (This was around the same time everyone loved Sanders because he was "the only YouTuber who made child-friendly LGBT content that wasn't sexual." It was also around the same time that having the balls to state "LGBTQIA+" instead of "LGBT+ / LGBTQ" got you death threats & suicide bait & rape threats - not just on here but on every social media platform. YouTubers with 100k+ followers deleted their accounts after the amount of harrassment & threats they got for showing support for the ace community. So this YouTuber making ace content??? It was really, really brave & a lot of us admired them for it because we were Not That Brave. They were a really big deal.)

One day, I saw they had answered an ask. I don't remember if it was a comment on their videos that they had screenshotted & then addressed here, or if it was an ask they received here. But the question was from an 11 year old girl, saying she thought she was ace because all her friends had crushes & wanted boyfriends & wanted kissed etc (I'm not saying the exact thing she said because I know exactly what threats & comments I'll get), and she didn't want to experience any of those things, so thought she was broken, but then she'd found this person's resources & felt like she finally had a name for how she felt, and a community to belong to. Today, there's nothing wrong with this & it's heartwarming to know kids have access to language to identify themselves & explain how they feel. But at the time? She had made a massive mistake when she stated she was 11.

The YouTuber replied with a freaking essay-length piece. I won't try to remember most of it, because it was disgusting, but all of it was phrased in a toxic-positivity tone. The summary of it was: the YouTuber was uncomfortable with this 11 y/o girl - who they didn't know - identifying herself as ace, because in doing so she was saying that other 11 y/o's were sexual beings, with sexual desires and sexual intentions. In identifying as ace, she was saying other 11 y/o children were sexual predators woth sinful, corrupt desires. In identifying as ace, she was saying other 11 y/o children were able to fully consent to adult interactions of a sexual nature with fully grown & mature adults. In identifying as ace, she was saying other 11 y/o children were seeking out and desiring sexual relationships, either with adults, older children / teens, other 11 y/o's, or children younger than themselves. And that was really not OK, and did the 11 year old girl know how much harm she was causing, how dangerous it was for her to identify as ace? Did she understand what it meant for other people? Did she understand how unnatural it was for an 11 year old to differentiate between "sexual" and "non sexual" desires? Did she understand that no 11 year old should have any sexual desires, thoughts, or awareness? No, she probably didn't, because she was broken and evil and a predator, because those were the only reasons she could have for saying these horrible, cruel things about every other 11 year old to ever exist. The essay was finished off with a statement that could be interpreted as "I hope you kys".

I was horrified. This person, who an entire community looked up to, had just told a child she was a predator for identifying as ace. This person, who was an authority and idol within the ace community, had just told a child she was a danger to her friends because she had sexualised them in the process of self-identifying as ace. This person, who had branded themselves as a source of trust and understanding, had just told a child she was evil, broken and tarnished, and it was her own fault, and she deserved to die because she was a predator, and should take herself out of everyone else's lives if she had any decency.

And there were notes. Oh man, there were a lot of notes on this post. Almost every single person in the comments agreed with this person. They all echoed how uncomfortable they were when children tried to join the ace community because it meant the child obviously saw other children as sexual creatures, and how weird is that??? They had never been so impure. They had never been so corrupt. They had never been so broken. They all echoed that the child was a danger to her friends. They all echoed that she shouldn't feel the way she felt because none of them thought 11 was old enough to know anything about sexuality or orientation. They all echoed that she should commit suicide because she didn't get crushes on people, didn't want a boyfriend, and didn't want kissed, etc, and saying her friends wanting these things made them all sexual creatures was evil & a sign she was a monster, so the kind thing to do would be for her to kill herself before she could abuse anybody.

I was disgusted. I was panicking. That was when I left the ace community for dead and walked the plank to get away from the aro community by extension. Because if that was what those communities were like, I didn't want anything to do with them. If that was how they viewed children who asked for help, I didn't want to touch them with a 10-foot pole. Because if that if how people behaved on an ace positivity blog, how do they behave in ace discourse circles???

It took years for me to be OK with the aroace community again. I still have trouble fully identifying myself as part of the community, tbh. I like dancing around the outskirts because it feels safer, but Im working on it. I'm aromantic, and I'm allosexual, and I'm queer, and I'm gay, and I'm trans. And that's all OK.

Sometimes, I still wonder what happened to that kid - what happened to all the kids who were seeking answers at that time. I wonder how many of them are still alive after being told by their own community to kill themselves.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

#aro #aroace #arospec #aro stuff #aromantic #asexual

35K notes · View notes

heyitsjooooanne · 11 months ago

Text

Hello!

If you're here reading this then that means you found the link to this post explaining the inspirations behind my now finished (barring some much-needed improvements of course) original time travel science fiction, "Jikanime Motori!"

Inspirations and mild spoilers below the cut!

(Warning: There's a brief mention of child abuse in this essay. I don't describe it in detail, but it's there.)

Two years and six months.

Wow.

Working on the last few chapters made me realize that I could've gotten everything done in less than six months if I pushed myself, but oh well.

At least I got the story done.

So, I'm gonna divide this essay into five categories:

Major Inspirations (Why does this sound like a character name? lol)

Specific Inspirations

Personal Inspirations

General Inspirations

Unused But Still Notable Inspirations

Bonus:

Helpful writing tools and research that I used in the story.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Major Inspirations

Okay, so these inspirations were pretty much with me throughout the entire story, because, well, they inspired the three groups!

- - - - - - - - -

Let's start with the most important one:

"Call Call Call" by SEVENTEEN

youtube

This music video is the reason why this story even exists in the first place.

Why?

First, because it shows 3 things:

1. Thirteen guys on motorcycles (check)

2. Three groups made of five, four, and four. (check)

and

3. Three different groups with three different styles. (check check check)

And second, because after I watched it for the first time in 2021 I was like, "Three different-looking groups…this could be something with time travel."

One of my first ideas was a time-traveling gang rivalry, but that idea quickly faded away. I wouldn't have known what to do with an idea like that anyway, and I also didn't want this to be a typical guy-turf-war story. Of course, I didn't know how the story would end at that point, but still. I just knew I didn't want it to be that kind of story.

- - - - - - - - -

The second major inspiration piggybacks off "Call Call Call" in that it served as additional inspiration for the first group living in Canada in 1969.

"Gambler" by MONSTA X

youtube

- - - - - - - - -

The third major inspiration was "Breath" by GOT7, although looking back on it now, I can tell that the inspiration is very loose. But some of the elements are still there for group 2 with everyone walking among those sets and everything. And all the characters in that group use social media in various ways, so in my mind, it works.

"Breath" by GOT7

youtube

- - - - - - - - -

And finally, the fourth major inspiration was "Kick Back" by WayV.

I randomly came across that video, so I just went with it as the blueprint for group 3's look and feel.

I think I had it in my head that I wanted the three different groups to look different like in "Call Call Call," but I didn't want that music video to be the sole piece of media that I got ideas from.

"Kick Back" by WayV

youtube

Huh. This section was shorter than I expected, lol.

Heads Up: All the videos that I mentioned are on a playlist of JM inspirations that I made.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Specific Inspirations

This section is where I'll be listing the ideas that came from specific sources.

Why?

Because it would be arrogant of me to act like I came up with all of these ideas (and really, the story elements in general) in an isolated vacuum.

Every idea comes from something.

The alarm bells in my head go off when someone says their inspiration came from nothing.

In my slightly paranoid mind, I'm thinking:

"Whose idea are you borrowing/possibly stealing from and why can't you admit it?"

Also…

Do isolated vacuums make sense?

Anyway, let's begin!

- - - - - - - - -

Let's start with the Jikanime work phones that were barely (lol) mentioned.

All three phones were directly taken out of "Call Call Call," although I had to look up the phone models themselves (or similar) so I could find out their names.

Group 1 - Rotary Dial Candlestick

Group 2 - (phone similar to a) Western Electric Princess

Group 3 - Neon Lucite phone

Credit for info:

9 Oldest Phones in the World

14 Retro Novelty Phones

Note: If you tap/click on any of the images in this essay you can make them bigger.

- - - - - - - - -

Cliff's outfit the night they go to JMI HQ.

MONSTA X "Gambler" Performance Video by MOVE REC

I let Cliff wear this outfit the night Drew activated his bike. I changed it a little bit of course, but for the most part, this is what he wore.

And Joohoney is a good inspiration for Cliff lookswise. In my head Cliff is a mix of him and Biff from the "Back to the Future" trilogy.

- - - - - - - - -

"…the way everyone was arranged at the 'study hall' table was inspired by MONSTA X’s 'Gambler' teaser #1 and the music video itself. Watch the scenes with everyone standing at that table, and you’ll see what I mean."

I copied this from my ending author's note for chapter 8, lol.

But it's true.

MONSTA X "Gambler" Teaser #1

- - - - - - - - -

"Black, and black, and black, and black," Elias said cheerfully as he put an arm around Skylar. "Hey, E. Can you tell me what color this is?" Arnold asked, pulling up the top of his uniform. "I think it's black." — Chapter 15

Very obviously inspired by this video (Pepsiman - Part 1: The Hero We Deserve) from BrainScratch Commentaries.

It happens at 5:28 in the video.

- - - - - - - - -

Adam put his arm around his seat and looked Wayne in the eyes. "There's a serious dihydrogen monoxide problem going on around here. I think that's what it is." — Chapter 26

I forgot how I heard about this, but I thought it'd be funny to include in the story.

Dihydrogen monoxide parody

- - - - - - - - -

Work Uniforms

Group 1 Uniforms

I tried, lol.

But all of the uniforms were inspired by the black outfits in the "Gambler" music video, and I think you can tell.

Although there were some tweaks added because I looked up soldier uniforms from the 60s as well.

Group 2 Uniforms

Their uniforms were inspired by GOT7's Shopee Concert outfits in 2021, a student pilot's uniform, and a director's costume (although in my mind, I barely used it).

Note: For some reason, a weird "1 new message" shows up on my toolbar when I go to the link for the pilot's uniform, so I'll save you guys the trouble of dealing with that and leave it out. You can always look up "airline pilot uniforms" if you’d like to find something similar.

Group 3 Uniforms

Like group 1, the inspiration behind the uniform designs came from one place, but I still tried to make them my own in some way.

That inspiration was WayV's "Kick Back (Korean Version)" Inkigayo Full Cam Performance Video.

I like that ^ version best because the static camera makes it easier to see everything at once.

High quality photos of their outfits can also be found here (some outfits that I thought were just black actually had blue on them :o).

- - - - - - - - -

And speaking of uniforms, the dressing room mentioned in chapter 12 was inspired by that mirrored room in WayV's "Kick Back" music video,

"Kick Back" by WayV

and NCT U's "Make a Wish (Birthday Song)" music video. Specifically, the part where Drew "tries" on a uniform design.

"Make a Wish (Birthday Song)" by NCT U

I also took a photo of this cardboard in 2022 and I thought I was gonna use it, but I never did.

First sketch of the dressing room:

- - - - - - - - -

Keely

I got her name, or rather, the spelling of her name, from Keely Teslow in "Phil of the Future."

That show was part of my childhood, so I had to, lol.

Although Keely could look like anyone since I never specified her looks.

- - - - - - - - -

Keely set a chocolate parfait topped with gold sprinkles down on Audrey's table. — Chapter 26

I saw this dessert on Instagram and I thought it looked cool. So I decided to include it in the story.

Freixenet Cava Chocolate Sparkle Jars

(I was gonna embed, but it didn't work. I also tried to insert the link, but it just showed a "please log in" thumbnail. >_<)

- - - - - - - - -

Theo's "unconventional" black clothing and dance moves from chapter 18 were inspired by this choreography video from 1MILLION Dance Studio.

youtube

Jam - Michael Jackson / Bongyoung Park Choreography

- - - - - - - - -

An electric red guitar with a third of the body black and a black handle was suspended inside a vertical glass case. — Chapter 23

Inspired by the guitar that Marty borrowed in "Back to the Future."

Back to the Future | Marty McFly Plays "Johnny B. Goode" and "Earth Angel" from Universal Pictures YouTube Channel

I also find it kind of funny that the live performance of "Ruby" used a very similar-looking guitar.

WOOZI - 'Ruby' Band Live Session from SEVENTEEN YouTube Channel

- - - - - - - - -

Speaking of Oz's old office, I got the idea for the room from this painting on Instagram.

"The Goldfish Bowl 2021" by Janet Hill

I'm not sure I pulled off the description in the story though, lol.

Oh, well.

- - - - - - - - -

"Hey, Cliff," Jack put his hand on Cliff's shoulder, "Maybe we should ask Bobby if he wants to play 'crack the whip' with us." — Chapter 21 "Any of you fellows ever heard of a game called 'crack the whip'?" — Chapter 24

"Snap the Whip" by Winslow Homer From Wikipedia

I had never heard of the game "crack the whip/snap the whip" before, but there is something about it that's strangely familiar to me. Maybe I saw kids playing it in elementary school or on TV but forgot about it.

Either way, I came across this painting through BTS x Street Galleries on Google Arts & Culture. It was part of J-Hope's collection and when I saw it I thought it looked intriguing. I didn't know what to do with it at the time though, so I took note of it and saved it for later.

This video was also a huge help in seeing how the game works in motion.

youtube

"Crack the whip 1" from Isabel Zepeda YouTube Channel

- - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, the others sat around a fire that Keegan and Liam had started earlier. — Chapter 24

This arrangement was randomly taken from the seating arrangement in the "Attaca Highlight Medley" video on YouTube.

SEVENTEEN 9th Mini Album 'Attacca' Highlight Medley

- - - - - - - - -

The seating arrangement in chapter 13 (during the video presentation) was inspired by the "Chronosaurus" music video by Stray Kids.

Stray Kids "Chronosaurus" Video

- - - - - - - - -

JMI HQ Interior Design Inspirations for chapters 5, 6, 7, & 12

(Yes, I know this essay is all over the place, but oh well. At least everything's labeled.)

JMI HQ Arrival & Launch Area

The lights were like that of an average parking garage, fluorescent, but there was something off about this parking garage. — Chapter 5

I pretty much stole the parking garage from "Call Call Call" for this area.

"Call Call Call" by SEVENTEEN

Hallway Leading Up to JMI HQ's Science Area

I stole this one too, lol. The only difference was that I changed the double-door entrance fans to clocks.

"Kick Back" by WayV

Science Hallway Crossroads

She led them all into a very bright room that looked like a crossroads to somewhere. The floor had black and white tiles, and the walls were so white it made the English guys outfits stick out like sore thumbs. — Chapter 6

I got the idea for this hallway from the "Black Mirror" music video by ONEUS.

I think I'm gonna change it though.

A room that bright is cool for a video, but it might be too bright for real life.

Maybe the walls should be black and the tiles can stay the same?

I'll decide later.

Oh, and Wayne's uniform was directly inspired by the black tie outfits in that music video as well. And yes that means that the other scientists probably wear something similar.

youtube

ONEUS "Black Mirror" MV

Camera Lab and Phone Lab

97% of these two rooms were taken from the "Spin Off (Performance Ver)" music video by UP10TION.

Camera Lab Inspiration

Phone Lab Inspiration

The uniforms for Keely and her posse were modeled after the blue and black outfits, and Eric's uniform was taken from the white and black outfits in that music video too.

UP10TION "SPIN OFF (Performance Ver.)" Music Video

Screening Room Entrance

The doors were light gray, and outlined in black with vertical glass windows on the left side of the left door, and the right side of the right door. The front walls of the portico were also black, but they also had white neon vertical lights that slanted on the top; the left-hand side of the columns were pure white. — Chapter 7

The inspiration behind this was a screening room entrance at a local movie theater.

Employee Dorm Lounge

Kind of modeled after the area at 2:31 in the original version of the "Spin Off" music video, but I was very vague about it.

And I think I also got the idea for the JTO from that blue thing hanging at 2:44 too.

Either way, it's related to the other video, so I wanted to bring it up.

youtube

UP10TION "SPIN OFF" Music Video

Engineering and Mechanics Room

The entrance was a half circle with black lines going up and down in all sorts of directions inside it. On top of it was a black structure with a flat roof and sharp corners that came down on both sides of the half circle. Three black columns stood on either side of the doorway, and two of them on either side had columns with three sections and six vertical black lines inside them. — Chapter 6

Another one that was taken right from the video itself!

And that is the "Favorite Boys One-Take Dance Video" by ACE.

(Warning: Lots of flickering lights in this video.)

youtube

I also got Max and Koji's uniforms from this as well.

Exterior/ J-8 Driving Area

This is the area from chapter 6 when they're all outside and Adam drives around the track.

It's also where they do their bike training later.

I used EXO's "Don't Fight The Feeling" music video as direct inspiration for this and Adam's uniform.

youtube

EXO 'Don't fight the feeling' MV

And finally, the buffet that was first mentioned in chapter 12 was inspired by this very cool 747 cafe that I saw on YouTube.

"Most LUXURIOUS Boeing747 Airplane Cafe Bangkok Thailand - Man Making Chocolate on Boeing747 Cafe" from SpeedFoods YouTube Channel

(We're still on the "specific" section of this essay if you can believe it, but I'm almost done with it.)

- - - - - - - - -

Drew spotted a young woman all by herself and went over to her. "Hi. Could you tell me where the 'R-C' is?" She looked him up and down for a moment, then pressed her lips. "I have a boyfriend," she replied curtly. "No, I—" "Great! So can he tell him where to find the 'R-C?" Drew heard Cliff say from behind him. — Chapter 26

I got this dialogue idea from a thread on Reddit which made me laugh so I saved it and ended up using it. Plus, it's not that hard to imagine Cliff saying something similar to the latter, lol.

Gamerkid11: One time I was lost in my school and went to ask a girl for directions. She immediately responded with "I am taken" like it was a sitcom or something. I eventually found the room. insanetwit: "'I have a boyfriend!" "Ok… Does he know where room 302 is?"

How do you tell if someone is attracted to you or just being very friendly?

I also enjoy looking at these kind of threads because they usually have funny gems like this. And okay, sometimes I want to know if a guy ever liked me at any point in my life. But I'm so hypervigilant due to my emotionally unsafe childhood that I probably don't even need to read threads like this. With just one look I could probably sense how a guy feels about me.

Or maybe not, I mean I do tend to over-analyze things.

And despite being single since puberty, I'm 97% convinced that I'm asexual.

I say 97% and not 100% because I am capable of crushing on handsome guys if they catch my interest (which doesn't happen often), so a part of me wants that romantic kind of companionship, but I'm not crying over being single or not engaging in risky sexual intimacy either.

And that brings us to the next section.

Edit: Being 97% sure that I'm on the asexual spectrum might've been too hasty to say. Like sure, sex is not exactly a high priority for me, especially with the reason stated after this next section, but very low sex-drive might be better suited for me than pure asexual. And we also have to keep in mind that I've never been in any kind of romantic relationship due to my massive trust issues with guys in general (also, I'm not pretty). So I can't really say anything about my feelings toward sexual intimacy with absolute certainty because I have zero experience in that department. There are certain sexual things I know I will never want to do, though. That I feel more sure about.

And demisexual or demiromantic might be a better fit for me since I can only develop a crush on a handsome guy after getting to know a little bit of his personality. So, I'm not someone who crushes on every guy that she sees. I mean, sure, I know an attractive guy when I see one, and I can even admire his looks for a while. But for me, "attractive guy" + (in my eyes) "endearing personality" = ❤. The mushy romantic crush feelings following that tend to last longer compared to just admiring someone based on their looks.

That was my recent former crush, although I can only guess what my feelings would be like if I met him in real life. And he was someone I never thought I would get a crush on for a variety of reasons, mainly him being [cough]younger than me[cough]. But at the same time, I couldn't keep crushing on him forever, especially since the two of us will probably never speak to each other directly. So it just became pointless. And no one can stay in a limbo like that forever. In a situation like that, you either have to do something about it, or stop wasting time. (Technically, I did do something about it. Not that I thought anything would happen as a result of that, but at least I did something. At least I made an effort.)

It's also a little bit of an insecurity thing from me as well because I'd hate to inconvenience him with my social and general anxiety. Like, I get nervous walking on bridges and want someone to hold onto while I walk across them. Also, I can be very strict sometimes and wouldn't let him go one day without cleaning or cooking. We'd have to be a team.

I say this like I'm actually gonna meet him, but I know it's literally impossible, lol. Unless he miraculously likes me back, but even then, that might be a little too lucky for me. Like, I would be so paranoid if that were the case. Not necessarily because of him, though. My thoughts would be, "He likes me? Why??? That wasn't supposed to happen, so what's wrong, Universe? When is the other shoe gonna drop?" At the very least, my creativity was at its highest during the beginning of my crush on him two years ago, so at least I got something good out of it (a whole universe actually, hint hint).

Anyway, I hope this clarifies things a bit.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Personal Inspirations

This section covers inspirations that I took from my own life.

- - - - - - - - -

Asexuality

As I mentioned in the previous part, I have no real burning desire to be that intimate with anyone. It's not impossible since I've never been in a mutually romantic relationship, but at the same time, I can probably name so many other things I would rather engage in instead.

1. Eating food.

2. Fictional worlds (they have been my home for as long as I can remember).

3. Spending time with people I trust.

4. Being cuddled and/or hugged in a non-sexual way.

So that's why I wanted to include characters like that in the story. There are so many male characters in movies and TV that are "unemotional players" but not all of them are like that. Most of them probably are, but most is not one hundred percent.

And there are four characters on the asexual spectrum in the story.

Here's a hint: One is unaware of it, one admitted it, and the other two are future (as in from now 2023) babies.

Can you guess who they are?

Jack, Theo, Skylar, Audrey.

Did you get it right?

I never talked about Jack's relationships in this story, but I have him down as "demisexual" in my notes. Of course, this is 1969/1970, so doctors and any wife that he will inevitably settle down with (again, 1970s) will probably label his selective sex drive as a problem, which is a shame.

Theo flat-out admitted to Melissa that he was asexual and aromantic in chapter 20. Now I'm definitely not aromantic (What Does Aromantic Mean?) and I don't know anyone who is, but it is related to asexuality.

Skylar never mentioned anything obvious, but he was sitting with Theo at the dining room table while Elias and Arnold were watching that stripper movie in chapter 18. In my notes, I have him down as "homoromantic asexual" because most gay men in movies and TV are allosexual and have sex with the first gay man that they connect with. And yeah, I know I did it in the story too with [spoiler] but that's why variety is important.

And for Audrey, I'm leaning toward "demisexual," but still considers facial attraction important. So she's not gonna love a guy whose face is ugly no matter how much time they spend together.

She and Theo are also "childfree," which brings us to the next part.

- - - - - - - - -

Being Childfree

I am childfree.

Let me write that again.

I AM CHILDFREE.

I don't want to get pregnant (emetophobia and tokophobia).

I don't want to adopt human children.

I just don't want the huge responsibility of raising and caring for children.

Trust me, someone with my emotional issues does not need to take care of vulnerable children. And I've never thought "wow, I hope to be a mom someday."

In fact, before I knew male ejaculation during vaginal sex led to pregnancy (yeah I said it but in real life, I would be too shy), I thought girls could get pregnant by praying (in their head) for a baby.

Yes, the adults told me this.

So I tried my best to never think those thoughts, lol. And I never did since the desire wasn't there, but it really scared me as a kid.

And taking care of any vulnerable creature is risky, but at least with a dog, cat, or any other animal, they won't get traumatized if I roll my eyes or scoff at a mess they made that I now have to clean up. I don't like cleaning up messy situations and I'd hate to traumatize an innocent child because of it.

So no kids for me.

And if you look at my Twitter, this shouldn't be a surprise.

- - - - - - - - -

Not Every Woman Wants Children And/Or Pregnancy

Did anyone pick up on what was happening with Drew's aunt when he was younger?

I never explicitly stated what was going on, but the hints are there.

Any guesses?