#me when i promised my daughter something but then she kinda died (it was supposed to be me) but for some fucked up reason i survived

[bertoyana]

You're looking in the wrong place, Charles.

Happy (belated) Father's Day!

[sstan-hoe]

◇ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 ◇

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — aemond targaryen × targaryen!fem!reader (rhaenyras daughter)

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — After the death of your grandsire, Viserys Targaryen, your relationship with Aemond was hanging on a thread. For you, he was a murderer. For him, you were a traitor.

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — is it a warning when I say I didn't know what I was doing? well, aemond is a warning, swearing, and violence, it's hotd yall

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — this me letting my anger for aemond and daemon out, but I promise I will also show my love them - just not in this one (I'm also kinda making fun of aemond). I'm not completely happy, but when am I?

As night settled in the Keep it became quiet, only the sound of fire could be heard. You sat on his bed, like every other night, always the same. A book on your lap, at least you weren’t bored of them yet.

Oh, how you hated it here, missing the times were you loved it, enjoyed it. Being supposed to marry Aemond felt like a blessing, after all he was someone, you had known your whole life. You trusted him, started loving him and saw your future with him.

Add to that, you weren’t forced to marry him, your mother, the Queen had asked. Knowing there could be worse husbands, he was a good choice and a way to smooth the relationship between your families.

Everything was fine, a day was set, and preparations were made, until Viserys Targaryen died. The following morning, he had locked you in his chambers, because you would not declare for Aegon.

Nothing had been the same since, all you saw in him now was a murderer and with every passing second you hated him more.

As if on cue Aemond walked inside with Criston Cole on his trail. “Oh, my soon to be husband! I have missed  you dearly, are you well? Tell me, did you do something exciting?” you asked, tone cheery as if you really cared.

“Spare me your false words of care Lady Strong,-“ “Velaryon,” you cut him off, facial expression changing into a glare. “No, Targaryen soon, is it not?” you changed your mind.

Of course, you would rather die than marry him now, however you found it quite amusing to correct him this way. The blonde shook his head, ignoring your words to sit down with the commander of the Kingsguard.

The guard looked at you with wary eyes, “what? Are you scared to insult my mother in front of me?” you shot at him, knowing every detail of his past – especially with Rhaenyra.

“Will you please take a bath darling?” Aemond questioned, annoyence evident in his voice. At that you scoffed, only when he wanted something he would use a pet name.

If he did not, then you were a bitch, Strong or traitor – whatever suited the moment. “If it pleases you my prince,” you snapped at him, although you would not be gone for long. There was not a chance you would let Cole speak bad about your mother.

---

“Rhaenyra is like a spider…,” Cole’s voice was faint, almost a whisper but you heard him. Catching Alicent in her web, how pathetic could someone be? Aside from Alicent’s lies and hypocrisy, Cole was just as bad.

Feeding Aemond all those lies, hiding his own history and thinking he wouldn’t be exposed. You could hardly contain your laughter.

Only wrapped in towel you entered the room again, both men looking at you. The princes eyes using all his power not to drop to your breasts.

“Ser Criston I think you should take your leave,” Aemond cleared his throat, in the years he had known you, it became clear to him what you were trying to do. Quickly Cole left, he knew where he was going.

“Could you please put on some clothes?” the blonde asked you, which you ignored and instead sat down oppisite of him. The towel slowly fell down, exposing a part of your breast.

“You know he’s lying right? My mother and Alicent were friends, best friends until she married my grandsire and then-,” “had bastards?” he cut in, not particular in the mood for this conversation. If the situation were different, maybe then he would listen to you, but it was not.

“He offered my mother his hand in marriage, wanted to sell oranges with her in Dorne. She rejected him and he is still not over it,” you continued as if he said nothing, you were not new to him calling you a bastard. At first it hurt but now you try to ignore it.

“Because your mother has never done anything wrong…,” he trailed off, he was tired of hearing you defend your mother. A part of him would do the same, still it drove him crazy.

Without thinking you took one of this little statues and threw it at him, “careful Aemond.” In the next moment Aemond was above you, caging you in between his arms and against the sofa. His quick movements caused you to flinch and the towel to fall down into your lap.

“I should be careful? You are here, held a prisoner…,” he told you, tone dangerously low. He knew it was hard to intimidate you but not impossible.

Although Aemond felt a heavy aversion towards you, he couldn’t deny how much he wanted you in the same moment. How he missed your talks that could go on for hours, and after a day where he interacted too much with Aegon, you would help him relieve some stress or when you begged him to braid his hair.

“Your mother has put those dreadful thoughts in your head, Cole is speaking lies because he needs the attention, because he wants to be seen as the victim,” you snapped at him, lifting your head up to meet his eyes.

“Do not speak of my mother this way-,” “you mean the woman who speaks with two tongues?” you interrupted him, satisfaction coming over you when you saw realisation wash over his face. “Yes, I heard you.”

There were no words coming from Aemond, which did not surprise you. “Have I silenced you?” a smirk growing on your lips.

He scoffed, shaking his head and standing up to walk towards your shared bed. The prince stripped himself of most of his clothes, knowing you were watching. “Ah, are you trying to tempt me again? That is not how a prince should behave…,” you taunted him.

“Mhm, you did not seem to mind before” he questioned, taking off his eye patch. Even if the two of you started hating each other, he still felt comfortable enough to walk around without it.

“I see you have no arguments anymore…well, that is how it must be when you finally come to realise you are in the wrong,” you couldn’t help it, as much as you enjoyed his company, the way he took your mind of the war. You could not let it happen anymore, you felt like a traitor to the realm.

Aemond scoffed at that, he said no word and left the room. You were stubborn and every discussion he had with you ended the same.

“Yes, just leave like you love to do!” you shouted after him in anger and within a second your brain snapped. Just as Aemond walked through the door, a cup hit the wall next to him with full force.

“Hobrenkys mittys,” you muttered to yourself once Aemond was completely gone.

---

On the next morrow, Aemond was nowhere to be found – as almost every day. Now you would be alone, almost dying of boredom and no one was allowed to see you.

You often saw Helaena, she wanted to come to you but never dared to go against her brothers orders and the guards standing outside your door.

There was only one person who would break this rule, Aegon. He would come in, talk about the weirdest things and he did not care if you were listening, he also didn’t seem to mind that you would never accept him as king.

And just like that the doors flew open, revealing Aegon. “Good morrow dear niece,” he sounded energetic, full of motivation.

 “Aegon, to what do I own this pleasure?” you asked him, laying back in bed. Already done with him, under different circumstances you might enjoy his company. However as of late he only stole your energy.

“Well, I actually am in search of my brother,” he revealed, causing you to roll your eyes, “and you truly thought you would find him here?” Aegon could not actually think this.

“It is his chamber, is it not?” he raised his eyebrows, spinning himself around. For him it was fun, to come in and point out the difficulties between Aemond and you – especially when he was drunk.

“Oh, how observant you are. What do you want?” you snapped at him, sitting up on the bed to watch him closely. The false king shrugged his shoulders, “you know I’m a good king.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his statement, “you are no good king.” At this he looked at you offended, not actually believing what you just said.

With a sigh you leaned back, “no one prepared you, grandsire always saw Rhaenyra on the throne, so what would you know about ruling? Your whole life you could do whatever you wanted, no one told you how it works, and you became a foolish imbecile.” You told him honestly, he needed someone who wouldn’t lie to him or manipulate him.

Aegon let the words sink in and he did not like them, he didn’t want to accept the truth. A side effect of manipulation – he could not truly think that he was fit to rule and the heir.

He huffed, “you’re just like him,” with that he left you alone again. Who he was comparing you to, you didn’t know but it might as well be Aemond, “just like his brother.” That was true, if Aemond was out of arguments he started talking nonsense or told you something he had already said.

 As night fell in, your soon to be husband was not back yet which was not uncommon and still it felt like something was wrong, like something would happen. You had taken a bath, cleaned up his chambers, just to keep busy.

Laying there in bed felt horrible, like you were chained to it. If death was to take you, you would welcome it.

Suddenly the door opened, a strange man walked in with a cage in his hand. Once he saw you, he was confused, “m’lady please excuse me however I’m here to catch the rats,” he told you.

And you recognised him, he was no rat catcher, no he was a gold cloak. Why were there no guards around? Why did no one stop him?

“What do you want?” you asked him, maybe you were too bold but with Daemon as a father figure, there was nothing else to be expected. The man did not seem to know who you were.

Then another one came in looking more scared. “Is he here- ah, princess we are sorry. We did not mean to disturb you,” he bowed in front of you.

His actions made the gold cloak realise who he was talking to, who Daemon mentioned. The traitorous daughter of Queen Rhaenyra. Without much thought he grabbed you by your throat causing you to gasp in surprise.

“Where is your cunt of a husband?” he growled while pulling you closer, holding a knife to your throat. When you didn’t immediately answer he gripped your hair tightly, fear over came you as you felt the cold metal on your skin.

“I don’t know!” you cried, wishing Aemond would step inside right this moment. However, your wish was not granted, instead you were thrown to the ground with full force.

“Personally, I think you are lying, after all you are his bride or is whore a better fit?” he gave you a dirty smirk before striking you with the back of his hand.

Knowing it would be a mistake you glared at him, “shut your fucking mouth. I don’t know where he is nor do I care,” you spit at him. If there was one thing you learned, it was to never back down and right now death seemed like a blessing.

“You truly are a bitch,” he nodded and kicked you in the stomache, making you groan in pain. Tears streamed down your cheeks, why was there no guard around? Why did no one stand in front of this room?

“He sends his regards,” was the only thing the gold cloak muttered before leaving with the rat catcher close behind him.

Leaving you there, on the floor and fighting to stay conscious but closing your eyes felt too good.

---

As Aemond came back to the Keep everyone was running around, they were scarred. He looked around, seemingly the only person who was calm. Taking long strides the prince walked to their royal quarters.

There he found maids cleaning, double the amount of guards and a maester coming out of…his chambers? He came inside, the first he saw was you, on his bed with an empty gaze.

Said maester had given you tea, wrapped bandages around you throat, stomach and head. Every movement you made hurt more than the last.

“Darling,” he whispered, coming to kneel in front of you, slowly you lifted your head to meet his eye, “where were you?” you asked, voice hoarse.

No tone came from his lips, he couldn’t tell you where he had actually been. “Where have you been?” you asked again with more pressure. Getting no answer once more and it made you mad.

“Aemond where the fuck were you when I was being threatened, when I had to be scared for my life?” you snapped at him, heart breaking when you saw how his expression changed.

“They wanted you, they think I’m a traitor because of you. All the pain I had to endure because of you!” now you started screaming at him, he deserved it. “Jaehaerys is dead because of you. Not only do you kill my brother but also your own nephew.”

Then it dawned on Aemond, Daemon had sent them to take care of him. The Rogue Prince saw him as a challenge.

“Seven hells, you are not even listening to me. You are supposed to protect me and not be gone the whole day! I mean what was so important? Did- did you find some whore to-,” as you said the last sentence you noticed how he looked down for a second.

“You were with one,” you stated, scoffing to yourself and standing up, “just like Aegon, true brothers you are,” this couldn’t be happening. If he at least was better at being decent, as if being gone every night wasn’t suspicious.

“Do not compare me to that imbecile. They are terrified of me, no one is scared of Aegon,” Aemond argued, taking a step towards you, “Daemon sees me as a challenge, big enough to kill me in my sleep,” he was very convinced of himself.

You looked at him in disbelief, he could not truly believe your stepfather was scared of him. “How delusional can one be? A son for a son, you killed Luke, so they kill you. It is called revenge and because they were not able to find you, they chose Aegon’s heir,” you laughed at him, they way actually thought this was about him being a threat.

Yes, Daemon thought you were a traitor however he had always been a special person, so you did not think much of it. If he wanted to believe it, then he shall.

The moment you were able to get out of here and speak with your mother, everything would clear up. You also hoped Rhaenyra would allow you to burn Daemon for the torture he put you through.

“Do not laugh at me, if he wanted revenge then he would have done it himself,” was he trying to convince you or himself? Probably himself.

“Shall he burn the Keep with Caraxes? Daemon is a lot but not stupid, unlike you,” shaking your head, you sat down of the sofa, standing was too exhausting. In the past you thought there could never be a moment where you hated it here more but now you realised there was.

“Aemond you are weak, the only thing that makes you dangerous is Vaghar and if she is not by your side? Then you are nothing,” those words made something twitch in him.

The next moment he had you pressed against the cushions with his hands around your throat. “Am I still weak?”

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | I do have a taglist however it has conditions that must be followed — you can follow @sstanhoe-updates for updates without anything

𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑮𝑨𝑹𝒀𝑬𝑵𝑺 — @georgiapeach30513 @meyocoko

[all-mirth-no-matter]

Time After Time | Chapter Fourteen

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader, Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Summary: Startling revelations ensue after drinking the tea. While you wait for Tommy to return, Benji comes in search for another date. Ada takes you shopping for a new dress to wear to the races.

Warning: language, slight supernatural (kinda?), harassment (not anything explicit but not fun), less tommy in this one but promise next chapter will make up for it!

ao3 link | catch up on tumblr here

Chapter 14: Raise Hell

I found myself an omen, and I tattooed on a sign. I set my mind to wandering, and I walk a broken line. You have a mind to keep me quiet, and although you can try. Better men have hit their knees, and bigger men have died. 

It came upon a lightning strike, and eyes of bright clear blue. I took that tie from around my neck, and gave my heart to you. I sent my love across the sea, and though I didn’t cry. That voice will haunt my every dream, until the day I die.

— Raise Hell, Brandi Carlile 

The tea cup landed on the rug with a soft thud, the hot liquid spilling at your feet — though you couldn’t feel a degree of it. 

Your mouth gapped open at the sight before you — your mother, sitting on the rug across from you, her legs crossed same as yours, as she smiled at you. 

“This isn’t real,” you whispered, still too surprised to move, your heart racing. 

Your eyes searched over your mother’s features, looking for some hint of something fake to indicate the trick that was being played here. 

But there was your mother — as plain as day. There was no otherworldly glow or translucent quality. She looked solid, wearing the same kind of modern shirt and jeans that she would have been wearing back when she was alive, looking very out of place against the 20th century backdrop. 

The only difference between the person in front of you and the memory of your mother was the smile on her face. 

“Real is quite relative, don’t you think, Y/N?”

Her voice sounded the same as well, if not maybe stronger than it had in her last handful of years. 

Instinct to combat your mother reared its ugly head as you scoffed and responded involuntarily, “Quite relative to whether I’m hallucinating or dreaming, sure.” 

Your mother chuckled, “I’ve missed you, my darling. We have so much to talk about.” 

Swallowing, you accepted that whether dream, hallucination, ghost, or indeed real, you’d done this for a reason. You’d been given this opportunity by the Delphi for a reason. It was now or never, and you couldn’t let a little thing like freaking out over talking to your dead mother stand in your way. 

“Do you know what’s happened to me?” you asked, feeling yourself sit up a little straighter. 

Her smile fell, eyes moving around the bedroom before landing back on you, running down the clothes you were wearing. “The curse. It finally came for you, too.” 

“Too? Are you saying—“

“Yes. I too was pulled from my present and into the past. As was my mother, and her mother, and her mother before that.” 

You couldn’t believe it. Of all the things you had expected, this hadn’t even crossed your mind. “How far back?” you wondered aloud.

She shrugged, “Centuries, I suppose. All the first born daughters of this cursed lineage. Cursed to know the future, because it’s our past.” 

So that was the schtick, you realized. You couldn’t predict the future, but you could recall it from a past that hadn’t happened yet — as long as you’d been paying attention. Your mother’s insistence of learning history now made more sense. 

And yet, there was still a big question, one you asked aloud, “Why?”

“I don’t know. That is still a mystery.” Your mother dropped her head slightly out of shame, “Even in death, I’m still searching for answers.” 

I curse you, Cassandra! The voice from your dreams echoed through your head and a crazy realization hit you. “Who was the first?”

Your mother swallowed. “When you were born, I saw a vision of my daughter. A woman who would know the future, just like I did. I heard the whisper of a name. It should have been a warning, but I was under a lot of drugs and hormones and thought the name was pretty. So did your father. We already had your first name picked out so on the spot agreed to name you Cassandra. I had no idea it was the name of our matriarch — of the first to be cursed.” 

“So it’s true, we come from the original Cassandra of Troy?” Your mother nodded and you shook your head. “But that doesn’t make any sense. Say the stories are true — say the Greek Gods really existed — she could actually tell the future and she’s from the ancient past.” 

“Another mystery.” 

You huffed, so sick of the ambiguity. 

“I’m sorry,” your mother said softly, causing you to meet her eyes again. “For lying to you all those years, for confusing you. For causing you grief and madness.” 

You felt a lump in your throat, your chest tight at hearing the acknowledgment you’d wished for your whole childhood. Your brain wanted to comfort her, tell her it was alright, but your heart was more wounded than you’d ever realized.

You swallowed down the rise of tears that were threatening to build and changed the subject. “When were you born?” 

She blinked, aware of your deflection method, and answered. “The early 2020s.” 

“But that’s so—“

“Close?” your mother sighed. “Yes. I grew up blissful — my mother never mentioned her own displacement. So when I was stripped from my loved ones in 2040 to 1990, I was distraught. I was lucky to meet your father, though regretfully I was never able to open myself up completely to him, still mourning the loss of my first love. I would jump from fits of madness to total denial. After we had you, I thought things would be different. But as you grew, I became more suspicious that you would also be stripped away from me, or I you, and the fear drove me mad. So I tried to prepare you. But the closer I got to my own birth date, the madder I became and more desperate for answers I grew. Eventually, I became convinced that I’d made the whole thing up. The line between reality and delusion became nonexistent.”

You felt the tears begin to pool again as you thought about your own struggles with reality since arriving here. Madam Despoina had told you that you were stronger than your mother. But that wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. 

“I’m sorry for your father, as well,” she went on. You opened your mouth to protest, but she stopped you. “I was able to warn him about certain events — terrorism, the housing bubble, natural disasters — but I couldn’t save him, not in the end.”

“Did you ever tell him? Properly, that is?” You found yourself asking, thinking about Tommy.

Your mother shook her head. “Not directly. The best I could come up with was the gift of prophecy. After a while of telling that story, a part of me began to believe it. Believe it for you.”

“I’m sorry,” you found yourself saying, “for being so hard on you. I didn’t understand—“

“And now you do,” she said with a soft smile, “more now than ever. And unfortunately, darling, I’m going to have to put pressure on you one final time.” 

“What do you mean?”

“The curse — it must be broken. You have to find a way to break it.” 

“Me? Why—“ your words stopped as you thought about Madam Despoina’s prophecy. “‘You have a chance to mend ancient mistakes. Break the cursed chain, end the line of travel.’ A woman from the Delphi family who said she was a descendent of the Pythia told me that.” 

She smiled knowingly again, “Your tattoo, ya?”

Your mouth dropped slightly, “You knew?” 

“I have the same one. I had the same impulse before I was pulled away. I didn’t even know you had it until I—“ she cut herself off, looking somber again before clearing her throat. “It’s the tree of knowledge, of balance. But how were you able to find them?”

“I’ve met some people since arriving here. A Romani family that I’ve grown quite close to. One of the brothers specifically, he— he helped me find them.” 

Your mother hummed as she listened, her eyes moving again to the space around you. “What year is this exactly?” 

“January 1919.” Your mother’s eyes widened. “I’ve been here a few months now.” 

“And I thought fifty years was a shock,” she murmured. “Remarkable. Although the interwar period has it’s merits I suppose. Roaring 20s, jazz, rise of automotives, electricity, women’s suffrage. Though suppose it also has it’s negatives: Great Depression, prohibition, facisism, gangsters—“ You must have had a reaction, because your mother paused. “This man, is he a nice man?”

You swallowed at that, your eyes shifting. “I think he wants to be. But the circumstances are a little more complicated.” 

“Complicated like organized crime complicated?” She retorted, and you were surprised at her humor in the situation. “Oh sweetheart, you didn’t—“ 

You scrunched your face, “I didn’t mean to. There’s been odd coincidences between us since even before we met. I had a vision of him the night I woke up here. He had one of me as well. And then there’s the other dreams—“

“What dreams?”

You took a deep breath, feeling once again like you were in a room filled with puzzle pieces trying to figure out which was the right piece to pick up and share with your mother. “I’ve had dreams. Very real feeling dreams of myself as Cassandra in ancient Troy. They’ve just been pieces though, it still feels incomplete.” 

“You’ve got a strong connection to her,” your mother mused. “There has to be something in those dreams, that story, that can help you?” 

Shifting in your place, she rose her brow at you. A wave of nostalgia hit you as you recalled the look many times from your childhood. She knew you had more. 

“The Delphi woman, Madam Despoina, she— she called him Apollo. It’s his face I see in my dreams when I, as Cassandra, am with him, as Apollo. But I— I don’t know what that means.”

Her eyes narrowed as the muscle in her cheek flinched, “And does he mean something to you?” 

Her question caused your brow to furrow. “What does that have to do with this?” 

“Mother’s intuition, I suppose,” she smiled. “It’s been good to see you, my darling.” 

“What do you—“ 

You blinked. 

She was gone. 

——-

You woke up the next morning on the cold floor of your apartment, the empty tea cup still laying on the rug. 

“Mum!” you exclaimed with a jolt upward, looking to the spot in front of you. 

But of course, no one was there. You were as alone in your apartment as you’d been when you arrived last night.

You reached for the tea cup and knew that it didn’t matter. Yesterday you might have tried to argue with yourself that you’d simply been dreaming or hallucinating, but the time for denial was over. 

Whatever this stuff had been that Madam Despoina gave you had given you the ability to talk with your mother last night. 

As you got ready for your shift at the Garrison, you tried to go through everything your mother had said to you, trying to commit it to memory, afraid that any little bit of it could slip away. 

You were going through it for about the twentieth time when a patron cleared his throat at the bar. 

“Apologies, I was—“ you turned and your customer service smile fell, “Oh, Benji, hello.” 

“I was just coming by to see when you were available next,” he said, offering you his most handsome smile. “No deaths or births or any other excuses this time, eh?”

Your brow lifted, finding that statement slightly rude. It’s not as if you’d blown him off for a headache or something minor — someone had died. 

But you knew what you had to do. Benji had been nothing but nice, if not a little forward, with you since you’d meet. It’d been wrong of you to accept his invitation when you were feeling alone and rejected. You couldn’t allow him to continue to believe he had a shot, but there was no reason to be rude about it. 

“I’ve been thinking about that, Benji, and I just— I don’t think it’s such a great idea.” His smile slowly began to fall as you talked, his brow creasing. “I shouldn’t have accepted in the first place,” you continued, feeling awkward and guilty. 

“Come on, love, you haven’t even given me a chance,” he tried to defend, pulling another smile on his face, though it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“I wasn’t ready to start anything. I’m still— I’m still adjusting and I—“

“Hmm,” Benji shoved his fists in his pocket. “And this wouldn’t have anything to do with the rumors going around of you and Tommy, would it?”

Your mouth opened slightly at the allegation, but you couldn’t form any kind of defense. Instead you crossed your arms, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” 

“Liar,” he hissed, slamming his fist to the bar top. The handful of patrons in the pub looked toward them, curious by the commotion. Benji noticed the eyes and cleared his throat, lowering his voice as he lifted his finger. “You’re making a big mistake, Y/N. Tommy-boy can’t sit on the throne forever, I’ll make sure of that.” 

He gave you a wicked smile as he turned and left the pub, slamming the door on his way out. 

You contemplated whether you should tell anyone about your interaction with Benji. Unsure if his threats were real or brought on simply by rejection and jealously, you decided to stay quiet for now. 

Things had been quiet for a few days afterwards, but slowly you began to notice some major irregularities in the books. Benji’s numbers were showing signs of stealing again. It started off small, similar to what it’d been when you originally became suspicious of him. But now it was quite obvious.

Finally, you came to the conclusion that you had no choice but to bring this to Polly’s attention. It was early in the morning before the shop opened. Polly was helping with John’s kids while Ada was MIA (though if you were a betting woman, you’d say she was with Freddie), and you found yourself sitting alone at the kitchen table, book open in front of you as you felt weirdly conflicted over Benji’s malfeasance.

In the past, you hadn’t been aware of what happened to the people you reported. But now, you knew that there were physical repercussions for stealing from the Shelbys, even as extreme as death. And whether it was guilt for leading him on or some piece of you that still believed that deep down he was a good guy — you began to contemplate whether he deserved a fair warning before you officially reported him. If he knew that he wasn’t as sneaky as he thought he was, that someone was paying attention to him, maybe he’d realize his mistake and end it before something bad happened to him.

You got up to get some tea, trying to think through how exactly you were going to warn him without giving yourself away, when the front door opened.

“How were the kids?” You asked over your shoulder as you poured, assuming Polly had returned.

“Y/N?”

A deeper voice than you expected came from behind you. Spinning around, you were surprised to find the man himself standing in the kitchen doorway.

Your heart rate surged when his eyes moved curiously from you to the table, the open diary and pencil next to it.

“You–” he started, the gears in his head turning to process the scene in front of him. “It’s been you all along.”

“What are you–” you tried to discreetly walk toward the other set of doors, but Benji rounded the table quicker than you, cutting off your escape routes.

What was the saying about good intentions?

“Benji you shouldn’t—“ you tried to lift up your arms between you.

His eyes narrowed and he took a step toward you. Your back hit the counter behind you as he caged you in. “It’s you isn’t it? I kept trying to figure out how it was Lenny and Jackson got stitched. And there you were all along — the little mouse hiding in plain sight.”

“Get off me!” You shouted as you tried to push him away, but he grabbed your arms. You tried to use some of the self defense moves you’d learned, but Benji was stronger than you’d anticipated, and much more sober than the last man you had to fight off of you in the pub. He spun you around and pinned your arms behind your back, pressing his weight onto you so you were pinned even tighter against the shelves and counter. You tried to kick, but he had your legs locked between his.

You were completely defenseless.

“You think you can fuck with me—“

“I wasn’t— I haven’t said anything–,” you gasped out, your face against the shelves as you tried to catch your breath while still struggling to get him off you. You felt the tears begin to fall down your face as you felt helpless.

“And you fucking won’t! You killed my mates. I’m gonna make you wish you’d never met Tommy—“

“Oi!”

Polly’s voice shouting from the doorway finally caused Benji to release you. At the slightly feel of freedom, you pushed him off and ran for the other other end of the kitchen. You grabbed a near empty bottle near you and threw it at him. He ducked as it broke against the wall behind him.

“Out!” Polly shouted, grabbing his arm and pushing him out the door. “And don’t you dare come back!”

Benji was shouting as well, raving that he was a Peaky Blinder dammit, and no one could stop him from getting what he wanted.

He looked back at you as he said that and you shivered.

Sure, you were shaken by being manhandled like that by someone you thought was a good enough man. But more than that, you were angry. This had been the second time since you’d been here that a man thought he could toss you around like you were some kind of doll.

Polly turned back toward you, and immediately got busy pouring you a cup of tea. She let you take your time as you finally launched into explanation. At the end, she calmly rose from her seat and found Scudboat in the betting den, who’d shown up at some point in all your distraction. You watched as she whispered in his ear and then calmly again walked back toward the kitchen. She reached into a drawer and pulled out a small handgun.

“You know how to use this?” 

Nodding, she handed it to you and told you to keep it on you from now on. 

“Go back to work, Y/N. Benji won’t be bothering you again.” 

——-

Polly had been right. Another week went by and you hadn’t seen or heard a peep from Benji. Part of you wondered if the bastard was dead, and you weren’t sure how exactly you felt when you realized that you didn’t really care. 

You also wondered if Tommy knew now about what happened with Benji. You hadn’t heard from him since he left again, but knew from Polly and Ada that they’d be back by the following weekend. 

In all the excitement, you’d forgotten about Tommy’s invitation to the races. When Ada burst into your apartment to announce that they were going shopping, you’d been surprised. It’d been a while since you’d been to the shops, but you weren’t going to deny the opportunity to find something nice to wear to your first race. 

“I’ve been crying nonstop for weeks,” Ada explained as you both walked around, looking at different fabrics as she pointed out some options. “Every little thing sets me off, I tell ya. I thought it was because of the funeral, but Martha and I weren’t really that close. Suppose it’s sympathy for the kids. Dunno. It’s been making me so tired though. I think I may be ill or something.” 

“Maybe,” you mused, grabbing the dress she handed you. 

A woman caught the corner of your eye. At your gaze, she dropped her head and turned. 

You ignored her, used to people staring when she was out with Ada. You hadn’t understood it when you’d first become friends, but now you realized. 

When you saw her again at the next shop, you began to feel less like it was accidental. 

“Hi,” you greeted when you met her eyes again. She looked away and tried to leave, but you spoke again, “Can I help you?” 

The woman stopped finally and turned, her head down slightly sheepishly. She wore a small hat and trendy dress, her hair was cut short like most women of the day, and you could tell she was quite tall, though she seemed to slouch slightly. Her facial features were sharp, complimenting her slim body shape. She was quite beautiful, and in your day could see her being the ideal supermodel. But the bags under her eyes and wornness of her skin led you to believe that her story probably wasn’t that simple. Not here, in Small Heath. 

“Pardon?” She finally said innocently, trying to subtly give you a once over as well. 

You shrugged, “It just seemed like you were needing something from me. My mistake.” 

You turned to leave but she spoke again. “This is incredibly improper of me, but I saw you and I just— you and Tommy, ya?” 

As you turned back to her, your brow creased. Instinct had you looking around for Ada. Ever since your encounter with Benji, you’d been edgier than you’d ever been, always looking for the exits and for familiar faces to run toward. It made you feel incredibly vulnerable and you absolutely hated it. You felt your fingers grip the strings of your handbag, knowing the gun Polly had given you was safely tucked away inside.

Swallowing, you resounded yourself to shake it off, to toughen up, and you straightened your shoulders as you addressed the stranger once again. “Excuse me?” 

“My sister saw you both walking home often late at night. I suppose he’s moved on, I shouldn’t be surprised.” She was rambling now, her cheeks blushed as if she were embarrassed by her own words. “I know we shouldn’t be speaking of this, not in public at least. It’s just hard, y’know, losing a customer. Especially one like him.” 

Customer. You looked over the stranger in front of you again and tried to think of any other instance where her phrasing would make sense aside from the very clear one that came to mind. 

Ada called for you, reaching you with a handful of dresses. You turned back to the woman who nodded and made her leave. 

“Ada, who was that?” 

She craned her neck and clicked her teeth. “Ah, that was Lizzie Stark. Surprised you haven’t seen her around town. Though why would you, less you were payin’ I suppose. Here, try these on.” 

——-

It’d been a while since you’d been on a real date. Even before you’d been sent to this place, dates had started to dwindle as you got older and got more choosy. For a while, starting in college, you’d easily been able to flirt with someone new, get to know them, and then start a fling for a while until one or both of you got bored. The couple serious relationships you’d had were harder for you. Being vulnerable hadn’t come easy for you, and it created commitment and trust issues. Dates became more complicated than they were worth. 

Tommy had greeted you at your place, and you surprised yourself with how much you missed him in the few weeks he’d been away. There was something about his presence, knowing that he was here, in the city, gave you a wave of some kind of safety and security that you hadn’t realized you’d been missing. 

He looked tired, though he smiled at you warmly as he walked you toward the family car, and offered you a hand in as you climbed in. 

This had been the first time you’d actually been excited for a date since possibly high school. 

And of course, Harry had to go and buzz kill your mood the day before the races. He hadn’t meant to, of course. After the Benji incident, he’d been extra protective and cautious. You’d explained the situation (without the stealing money from the Shelbys part) and he’d been surprisingly sensitive. But he believed his recent pub decision would make you feel better instead of make you sour.

“Somethin’ the matter?” He asked when you were quieter than he expected. “If this is about Hancock—“

“No,” you answered, already knowing from Polly that Tommy and the brothers had learned of Benji’s malfeasance, but he’d disappeared before Scudboat and Lovelock could find him. You’d cursed your previous self for trying to be sympathetic toward the man — it seemed like you’d just made everything worse. “It’s nothing honestly, just something silly.” 

“Go on, then. I can handle silly.” 

Your cheek flinched as you looked over toward Tommy, humored by him even saying the word ‘silly’. He rose his eye brow as he looked over to you, offering you a smirk before pulling his eyes back to the road. 

“Harry’s putting in an advertisement in the paper for another barmaid.” 

Tommy’s smirk turned into a frown, “Is he mad? The place wouldn’t be standin’ without you — I’ve seen the numbers, I know. I’ll have a word with Harry—“

“He’s not replacing me,” you quickly corrected. “I thought the same thing, but he wants me to concentrate more on the books and said he’d rather bring someone in part time to fill in behind the bar.” 

“Ah,” his brow creased as he gave you a short look. “The problem, then?” 

You sighed, knowing that you were being childish. “I’m just feeling territorial, is all. I know I’m not technically being replaced, but part of it feels that way. Did I mention I have a small case of control issues? I blame it on being an only child.” 

Tommy chuckled softly and shook his head. “You have nothing to worry about. If anything it’ll leave more time for you to do your real job.” 

“My real job?” You asked him curiously. 

“The Shelby business, ‘course. Wheels are already in motion, and today we’re going to enact the second part of my plan.” 

“And that is?” 

Tommy smiled, “Gonna buy a horse.”

>> next chapter << chapter masterlist

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[theladyofrosewater]

So I was browsing the MCD wiki (which sidenote thank you @/lggy for maintaining the wiki you are a godsend) and I noticed that because of the sepia or whatever filter they used, Zianna and Aaron's wife Lilly look really similar so I thought "what if I made them sisters"

THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND. If I make it so that Lilly and Aaron get married early that would effectively make Zianna the sister of the Lord of Falconclaw and a pretty valuable person to marry in terms of alliances so Zianna would make the decision to marry Garte and therefore O'Khasis would never move on Falconclaw and hey if Garte died early (most descendants of Esmund have a habit of dying young in my rewrite) that would effectively let Zianna rule O'Khasis as long as she had an heir that could wield Esmund's relic.

It also would make Aaron more involved in the plot because I will be honest, while I do not hate Aaron because I can separate him from Jason enough. Aaron feels like a character who would have been a one-off character or at least one who was a side character to the level of say Lucinda. I know the Divine Warriors and Irene are supposed to be the kinda main story but I will be honest with you the Ro'Meaves and their absolute chaos are way more interesting to me. Zane was the season one's villain, Garroth and Vylad were mysteries that we got to upwrap with both Ru'aun as a whole and some stuff about the Shadow Knights. In making Aaron Zianna's brother-in-law and the uncle of Garroth, Zane and Vylad to me, besides just making him more connected to the main plot, does two main things.

Aaron in current MCD canon is really only connected to two characters Aphmau and Zane. I'm changing his relationship to Aph to be more of a mentorship one because I think he sees the young daughter he and his wife wanted to have but never got too because of Zane. to me it makes the massacre at Falconclaw be that much more personal because instead of this random priest just killing your wife, child, and entire village for no real reason imagine this. You're a lord of a village and relatively recently two of your nephews have died and one of them quite gruesomely, you've got one nephew left and he requests a family visit and you accept because hey the kid has always been a bit weird but he just lost both of his brothers and he probably needs support right now so you extend an invitation for him to visit. He gets there and he somehow got to be the head of the major religion in your area and the kid's not even 19 yet and looks like he hasn't slept in days so you rush the tour and send him to your home, maybe your wife can get him to eat something, or your son might cheer him up for at least a little while. You think nothing of it and keep doing your job until you hear screaming and see so many dead. Your wife is dead, your son is dead everyone is dead and the only one alive is your nephew and when he looks at you he fucking smiles and says it "it was necessary but don't worry I'm sure you'll join them soon enough" before walking off leaving you to bury bodies for years. Making Aaron be related to the Ro'meaves in my opinion changes his story from just a fridging backstory to a classic tragedy because it becomes a betrayal bathed and forged from blood.

I think it would give him a better motivation to risk his life to get Garroth back and it would make him interact with the other characters because he wants to know what kind of man his non-evil nephew turned into. That causes him to be more and more social with everyone. Maybe he spars and trains with Katelyn, He teaches Dante and his kids how to fish because Aaron never got to teach Jacob how, but still wants to pass on that skill. Maybe he knows things about shadow knights that most people don't, and he promises to teach Laurance in case he might help him. Maybe he takes Travis hunting because Travis never got to go on hunting trips with a parent. And then he sacrifices himself. Katelyn ignores the painful feeling she gets when she looks at the spare chalk and wrappings she has for spars. The fishing poles in Dante's house get covered with dust and cobwebs, the strings rotting away and snapping. Laurance and maybe Vylad struggling with being shadow knights as the call gets stronger and wondering if Aaron would have known how to deal with it. Travis out of anger snaps his bow in half before realizing what he did and breaking down. I want Garroth to be horrified when he finally is home and realizes just who they lost to get him back. I want them to care about him and I want his sacrifice to be more than love triangle fodder

[study-coffee-chicago]

Overprotective (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

A/N: This was a request from an anon who wanted overprotective Jay and Will and angst and fluff! So, I hope I did your request justice! 

Thanks for reading! Remember to like/reblog and comment! I love reading your comments because they put a smile on my face!

Thunderstorm (age 7)

It had been six months since your mom died. Jay was back from his second deployment and was now a police officer and Will was in New York for what you called doctor school. And your dad, well he was here in Chicago with you physically, but not mentally.

You whimpered as you hugged your teddy bear--whom you had affectionately named Officer Chuckles after you heard someone call Jay that at a picnic for police and their families--tight to your chest. The thunder was really loud and you swore it was shaking the house. And, to make matters worse, your dad wasn't here; he had left his seven-year-old daughter alone at home, during a thunderstorm, at 11:30 at night.

Your mom had loved thunderstorms and she'd always watch them as they rolled in. If it was morning, she'd sit and drink her coffee on the front porch while she watched them and listened to the rain drum down on the roof. If it was nighttime, she'd have something called wine, which she told you that you couldn't have until you were older, and do the same thing.

Because of this, every time there was a thunderstorm and your dad wasn't working, he'd always go to the cemetery to visit your mom. You didn't know what he did there. You just knew that every time there was a thunderstorm, you'd just be that much more scared.

Your mom used to comfort you when there was a thunderstorm; she'd tell you that the thunder was just a giant up in the sky bowling and that he just got a strike. But, your dad wouldn't really comfort you because he'd just leave. And, there was only so much Officer Chuckles and huddling in your blankets could do for you.

"We gotta call Jay," you whispered to your bear. "He'll know what to do."

So, you gripped Officer Chuckles in your little hand and then made your way into the kitchen. You jumped as more lightning and thunder cracked across the sky.

You flicked on the light and picked up the phone. You looked at the number on the fridge and carefully dialed it and then hit the "talk" button. Then, you listened to it ring while little whimpers of fear escaped your mouth.

"Dad? Why are you--" You jumped and a small scream came out. "Y/N? Kiddo, what are you doing up? It's late."

"I- I'm scared," you said quickly and ran back to your room with Officer Chuckles and the phone still in your hand and pressed up to your ear.

"Because of the thunder?" Jay asked gently.

"Uh-huh," you answered as you buried yourself back under your covers. "Daddy's not here and-and it's really loud."

"Dad's not there?"

"He went to see Mommy." You squeaked as more thunder came.

Jay cursed on the other end of the phone and hoped you didn't pick up on it. "Y/N, I will be there in ten minutes, okay? I just want you to stay in your room until I get there. Can you do that for me?"

"Uh-huh. But please come fast, Jay Jay. Me and Officer Chuckles are really scared."

"I'll come really, really fast. I promise. Now, I have to put down the phone so I can drive. But I promise I'll get there really fast. I love you."

"I love you, too, Jay Jay."

***

Jay cursed himself as he drove as fast as he could towards his childhood home. He didn't even speed, just tried to go the speed limit. But, it was downpouring so hard that he had to slow down so that he didn't hydroplane and get into a car accident. He didn't need that right now and you definitely didn't need that right now.

Jay walked up the front porch--forgetting his umbrella in his car because he was so focused on getting to you--and then found the spare key under the flower pot. The flower was fake; there's no way your dad could keep a plant alive.

"Y/N?" he called out as he slipped off his shoes once he was inside. "It's me. It's Jay Jay."

Thunder cracked across the sky and Jay swore under his breath and then took off running to your bedroom.

There, he found you huddled underneath your comforter clutching Officer Chuckles to your chest and resting your head against him. Your small night light was the only thing giving off light in your room.

"Y/N," he whispered, causing you to jump. "It's okay, it's just me. It's Jay," he said quickly and then flicked on your bedroom light.

Now that everything was bathed in light, you jumped out of bed without hesitating and held tightly onto Jay. "It's too loud! It's too loud!" you wailed as your fingers clutched the bottom of his shirt.

"I know, I know," he soothed and gently rubbed your back while you continued to cry. "But remember what Mom said? It's just a giant up in the sky bowling."

"Well, he needs to play a quieter game."

Jay laughed at that. "I mean, we could try to tell him that, but I don't think he'd listen since he's way bigger than us." You nodded in agreement. Jay crouched down in front of you, seeing as you had finally let go of him. "Y/N, can you grab me your most favorite backpack?"

"Why?" you asked, tilting your head to the side. "It's nighttime, not school time."

Jay smiled at your innocence. "I know. But, you're gonna come over to my house and we're gonna have a sleepover."

"Like we do on some weekends?"

"Just like that."

More thunder.

You grabbed onto Jay's hand. "You come with me to get my backpack in the living room?"

Jay nodded. "Of course."

Once you were back in your room, Jay started grabbing some clothes for you and you grabbed your favorite blanket and Officer Chuckles. Then, something dawned on you. You were always supposed to tell your daddy if you went somewhere.

"Will Daddy be mad?"

Jay turned away from your dresser and to look at you. "Why would he be mad, kiddo?"

"Because I'm not- I'm not telling him I'm having a sleepover with you."

"Oh, he knows."

"You talked to him?"

"I called him on the way here." Well, he sent him a strongly worded text message, but that was basically the same thing. All he needed to know was that you were coming to his house since you were scared of the storm (not to mention you were seven years old and you shouldn't be home alone in the first place). He hadn't answered the text yet, but at least he'd know where you were.

"Okay. Will you come with me to get my raincoat, too?"

Jay had just finished putting the last of a pair of clothes in your backpack. "I think we can grab that on our way out. Good thinking, kiddo."

He shouldered your little backpack and took your blanket from you so that it wouldn't drag on the wet ground when you walked outside. Then, you put on your rain boots and raincoat at the front door and clutched Officer Chuckles super tight and walked out to Jay's car, and started on your way to his apartment.

***

"Hold my hand when we walk through the parking lot, okay?" Jay said as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building.

"Okay."

He put the car in park and then turned it off and got out, quickly opening an umbrella he had stashed in his passenger seat. Then, he made his way over to your side of the car and helped you out and grabbed your backpack, and slung your blanket over his shoulders. You held tight to Officer Chuckles with one hand and held Jay's hand with the other while you two walked into his apartment building, the umbrella Jay was holding with his opposite hand shielding you from the rain.

Once you were inside, you handed Jay your raincoat and he hung it up on the rack because you couldn't reach it.

Jay started digging around in your backpack for the spare pair of pajamas that he had packed for you. "Okay, Y/N, why don't you go put on these nice comfy pajamas--"

"Because mine are kinda wet?" you asked and looked up at your big brother.

"Yes, because yours are kind of wet," Jay confirmed. "And then after, we can go to sleep, okay?"

Thunder cracked again and you jumped.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jay said and crouched down in front of you. "I promise you nothing bad will happen."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he confirmed with a nod of his head.

You turned to go change your clothes, and then remembered something. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course."

After you changed into dry pajamas, you put your dirty ones in your backpack and left the bathroom to see Jay sitting on the couch waiting for you. "Ready for bed?" he asked.

You yawned. "Uh-huh."

Jay glanced at the clock. It was nearing 12:30 am. There was no way you were going to go to school after six and a half hours of sleep. So, he had a plan. And that plan involved iHOP.

Once you got into bed, you tried to fall asleep, but you couldn't. Jay noticed this when you jumped at the thunder. So, he grabbed your little hand in his and squeezed. You then moved closer to him and buried your head in his chest. You knew you were safe from the thunder because your big brother was around and he was big and strong and would protect you from anything. So, you soon fell asleep after, ending your very long night.

***

You rubbed your eyes as you walked out of Jay's bedroom the next morning, Officer Chuckles in your hand dangling by your side.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Jay said.

You looked at the clock. 8:30. "Don't I gotta be at school?" you asked, scrunching up your eyebrows which Jay thought was the cutest thing ever.

"Not until after lunchtime," he told you. "You were up really late, so I wanted to let you sleep. And, so we can go out for breakfast."

"Really? Where?" you asked excitedly, almost dropping Officer Chuckles because you were absolutely buzzing with excitement.

"That is a surprise. Now, how about you go get dressed and brush your teeth and brush your hair, and then we can get going, okay?"

"Okay!"

Then, you scampered off and did just what Jay told you to do. You wanted to know what the surprise would be!

Once you were all done, you and Jay left, and on the ride to the place where you were going for breakfast, you kept asking where you'd be going. But, Jay just wouldn't let up. But, then you saw the big blue sign and knew exactly where you were headed.

"iHOP!" you exclaimed. "Smiley pancakes! Smiley pancakes!" You looked at Jay as he turned into the parking lot. "Can I get the smiley face pancakes? Please, Jay Jay?"

Jay smiled at your excitement. "Yes, you can get the smiley face pancakes."

"Yay!" you cheered.

After breakfast and going back to his apartment to get your school stuff that he had packed in your backpack last night, Jay brought you to school.

When he got back to his apartment, he started making phone calls and cashing in favors.

A month and a half later, Jay officially had guardianship of you.

***

Beach fight (age 14)

"It's so hot," you whined as you walked out of your room in the middle of summer and into the kitchen. You looked at Jay who was drinking coffee out of a mug. "I don't get how you can drink hot coffee. It's too hot out for that."

"You--" Jay took a sip of his coffee.--"are such a drama queen."

"But I'm a queen, so I'll take it."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Wonder where you got the quick comebacks from."

"Just a tall, red-headed doctor. Definitely not you."

"You're funny, kid. Real funny." Jay's phone buzzed. He furrowed his eyebrows. Then it buzzed again and he made eye contact with you and tilted his head to the side. "You texted Will about a beach day? And said that I said it was okay?"

"Uh-huh. You aren't the only Halstead sibling who can be sneaky you know."

"Normally, normally I'd be pissed. But, it's scorching out. So I'll give him a call. Go start getting ready and wear your swimsuit under your clothes so we don't have to change there."

"Yes! Thank you, Jay! Love you!" You gave him a quick hug.

"Yeah, yeah. You never love me more than when you get your way."

Then, you went off to your room to get changed.

***

"Will said he'd be right here," Jay muttered as he looked at his phone for the millionth time in ten minutes. Will and Jay had set up a spot to meet, but Will was running late.

Then, Will's familiar car pulled in and he parked. "Sorry I'm late," he started as he stepped out. "Had to pick up some groceries." He held up the six-pack of beer. "Can't have a beach day without alcohol."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Uh, yes, you can. And both of us are driving home." He turned to you. "Y/N, you're gonna have to make sure each of us only drinks two. I should be fine, but I don't know about him here."

"Hey!" Will exclaimed and then smacked Jay upside the head with his free hand.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed your beach chair and your drawstring bag with your towel and your book from Jay's truck. Jay grabbed the cooler, his bag, and his chair. Will grabbed his stuff and then the three of you were off.

***

You had waded in the water and read your book for a bit while Will and Jay chatted about some mutual cases they had come across while drinking their beer and eating snacks. You were snacking on your cheddar popcorn, (which Will had affectionately picked up a bag for you when he went to get beer because he knew it was your favorite) when you realized something: the boys had a drink other than water but you didn't.

You debated which brother would allow you to buy something from the coffee cart up by the entrance to the beach.

Will won.

"Will," you said sweetly and turned around to look at him.

"Uh oh," Jay said. "That's her I want something voice. Don't give in. Be strong."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yes, Y/N?"

"I was thinking--"

"It's worse than I thought!" Jay exclaimed. "She's thinking!"

You scowled at him and turned back to face Will. "I was thinking that since you two have something other than water to drink and I don't, could I maybe get something from the coffee cart? Please?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Dude! She's fourteen! She shouldn't be drinking caffeine...especially not at noon!" Jay protested.

"There's this thing called decaf coffee, Jay."

"There's this thing called decaf coffee, Jay," Jay mocked. "Shut up, Will."

Will rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I have to go to the bathroom, so I'll walk up with there with you and just give you money and meet you back there." He looked at Jay. "Are you okay with that? I know you hate when she's out of our sight in super crowded place like this," he asked Jay.

"I do not do that!" Jay argued. You and Will gave him a look. "Fine. Maybe I do. I just see a lot of stuff that I never want her to be involved in. Just, make sure you give Will his change back."

"I will," you said. After all, you were in a swimsuit, not that there were pockets there for you to stash your big brother's change like you normally did and then keep it for yourself.

You and Will made your way up the beach to the entrance where he handed you a ten-dollar bill and you two split up. He went straight to go to the bathrooms and you took a slight right to go to the coffee cart.

Will had said on the walk up not to wait for him and to just go back to Jay. So, you ordered your decaf iced mocha caramel latte, took the four dollars and something cents in change, got your latte, and started to walk back to Jay.

That was, you walked until you heard it.

A catcall.

You pretended you didn't hear it, that it was directed at someone else.

But then, "Babe with the coffee." You stopped walking. "I know you heard me. C'mon, show us that pretty face of yours."

Your eyes widened as you swallowed and your lip started to tremble. You knew you should just make a run for it, but you knew that in running in the sand with your hands full, that you'd just end up face planting and getting a mouth full of sand.

"Aw, c'mon baby. I've got friends, too. You don't like me, maybe you'll like them. We'll like you either way."

You wanted to smack yourself at what came out of your mouth next. You turned around. These guys were probably 23-25 year-olds and there were three of them. They were way taller than you and you knew that they'd easily be able to overpower you. But, you said the first thing that you thought would make them back off.

"I have a boy--". You cleared your throat. "I have a boyfriend."

"I don't see no boy." He turned to one of his friends. "Do you?" The other guy shook his head.

Where the fuck is Will?

"Take my money. Just, leave me alone."

You held the money out to the man, but instead of taking it, he grabbed your wrist instead. Hard.

You dropped your coffee, the plastic cup breaking in the sand and making the cold, sweet liquid form a puddle.

"How cute, boys. She's paying us, normally we'd be paying her!"

From down on the beach, Jay was watching from afar. He saw some guys walking towards you and at first, he assumed that they might've been older siblings of some kids you knew at school or something like that.

Then, he noticed your rigid posture and stood up.

He started walking toward you.

You held your hand out and the guy grabbed your wrist.

Jay started running.

"Just, let me go and we can pretend this never happened," you said, borrowing a line you had seen in movies multiple times...not that it ever worked in those, but maybe it'd work in real life.

"No can--"

"Hey!"

Oh, thank God for Jay.

"You the boyfriend?" he asked rhetorically. "She's gotta be sixteen then. How is she?"

"For your information, I'm the brother. And, it'd be in your best interest to let go," Jay growled.

"Three on one. This should be fun." The guy shrugged.

"Listen, man. I really don't feel like doing this here. So just, let her go."

He tugged you closer to him and you yelped, your front hitting his chest.

You squeezed your eyes shut.

You felt arms wrap around you and pull you away from the random guy's chest and you screamed.

"You son of a bitch!" Jay yelled.

You opened your eyes to see that Will was the one who had run up and pulled you back, your heart still beating out of your chest.

"Jay, he's not--" Will tried, but it was no use.

Jay threw the first punch.

The guy's head flew back and he fell to the ground. The guy tried to throw a punch from there, but Jay easily dodged it. Then, he threw three more hits to his face.

Will turned his head away from the fight at the sound of shitty sirens. "Fucking hell, Jay! Security!"

He didn't stop.

"Jay!" you yelled.

Now, this caused him to stop for a second...right as security pulled up next to him.

Jay looked up.

"He threw the first punch!" the man yelled to security before Jay could even explain the situation in its entirety.

"And you harassed my sister, so I think me punching you was warranted!" Jay argued. He turned to security. "Jay Halstead, CPD detective with the Intelligence unit."

The two beach security guards shared a glance. One sighed. "Okay, to make this easier, we won't call the cops because apparently, he is one. But, both of you are banned from the beach."

"What?" the guy bellowed. "You're not even going to ask him for some identification? Unbelievable!"

"I can easily go grab my badge from my car, officer," Jay suggested.

"That won't be necessary," the security guard said. He turned to you. "Miss, did he hurt you in any way?" You held out your hand to show him your wrist, which was red and you knew you'd have bruising on it tomorrow. Then, he turned his attention back to the guy who had been harassing you and his two friends. "You, come with me. Unless one of your buddies wants to cop to being the one who did the harassing?"

The two other guys held up their hands in a sign of surrender and backed up.

"What?" the guy yelled. "I need medical attention! I probably need stitches!"

"And we can have someone do that for you, but you need to come with us." He pulled out a pair of zip ties and got them on the guy's wrist...not without him giving the security guards some difficulty, though. He turned his attention back to you and your brothers. "I take it back, Detective, you're not banned."

Jay gave him a curt nod of thanks.

"What?" the guy yelled as the security guard started walking, taking the creeper away from you and your brothers.

"Keep it moving, buddy. Keep it moving."

"Let's get outta here," Will suggested.

You and Jay agreed, and then the three of you went to grab your stuff from where it previously was at the beach.

***

You had ridden back home with Will instead of Jay since he needed some time to cool off...and call Voight to make sure that the asshole actually got some jail time or something. Basically, Jay needed Voight to make sure that the beach security was actually doing their job.

The two of you made your way into the apartment (Jay had given Will a key and Will had given Jay a key to his apartment also. You didn't bring your key because you thought you'd be riding home with Jay, but then everything popped off.). Then, Will immediately went into doctor mode.

"Go change into some clothes and then I'm gonna take a look at that wrist," he told you.

You nodded and quickly changed into a pair of comfy shorts and a t-shirt. Then, you made your way to the kitchen table where Will was waiting expectantly. You sat down a sighed.

"You okay?" Will asked as he stopped unzipping his medical bag that he always kept in his car in case of emergencies and gave you his full attention.

"That was terrifying. I just, I never would've thought that would happen."

"And it shouldn't have happened. You're fourteen; you're just a kid. It shouldn't happen to an adult, much less a kid." You nodded. "Can I see your wrist?"

You held it out to him and he gently pressed on it and began to inspect it. "You know," you started, "I thought you'd be patching up Jay. Turns out that ass- that guy's friends didn't want to get involved."

"I wouldn't either," Will agreed. "There's no way I'd want to be one the receiving end of a fistfight with Jay. And, for the record, that guy was an asshole." Then, he started talking about the subject at hand. "Well, good news is that it isn't broken...but we already knew that. Bad news is that there will be some slight bruising, so we need to ice it."

"Okay."

Will got up to get some ice from the freezer when Jay walked in...holding a bag of groceries.

"What's that?" you asked.

"Well, I figured we'd get ice cream after the beach, but since that didn't happen, I decided to pick some up." He set the bag of groceries on the table in front of you and started taking out pints of ice cream. "Superman for Will, Neopolitan for me, and cookies n creme for you."

Your eyes went wide as you saw the ice cream and quickly snatched up your pint. Jay laughed at your excitement.

"Still can't believe that Will's favorite is Superman," you mused.

"He's like a kid in an adult's body," Jay agreed.

"I heard that!" Will yelled and then came back with an ice pack and three spoons. "What can I say, I'm a sugar aficionado. Now, what movie are we watching?"

The three of you made your way over to the couch with your spoons and ice cream, you with your ice pack as well, and started to try and agree on a movie.

Sometimes, you hated that Jay was so vigilant and that Will always had to take a look at something as small as a scrape, but today, those two things definitely came in handy. And, you couldn't be more thankful.

***

Migraine (age 16)

Oh here we go again, you thought as you sat in your American history class and felt the pounding in your head coming on. You had had a slight headache this morning but had a feeling it was going to turn into something more since all of your headaches lately have been turning into migraines almost every other day for the past week. For a few weeks, you'd been having headaches and they started out not too bad, a small dose of Tylenol would fix them. You assumed they were just stress headaches from school. But, then they started making the sides of your head pound and making you sensitive to light or nauseous. And right now, you felt a really bad one coming on.

Forty-five minutes later, you had gotten out of your history class and were on your way to biology. But, you were in the midst of the worst migraine of your life. Your head was pounding, everyone seemed to be talking right in your ear, and the lights were way too bright even when you squinted.

You had to go home. You couldn't stay at school any longer.

So, you went to the office and explained this and then called Jay.

"Hello? Y/N, aren't you supposed to be in class?" he asked when he answered.

"My head hurts really bad, Jay. Please, can you come pick me up?" you asked.

"I can have someone drop off some Tylenol," he suggested.

"No," you whined. "It hurts so bad. The light hurts my head and people talking hurts my head. Please, Jay."

You were practically pleading and even though Jay knew that you had a geometry test today, he agreed.

"Okay, I'll email your math teacher about the test."

"Oh. I forgot about that." You hissed as the late bell rang, causing your head to pound even more for those few seconds.

"That bad, huh?" Jay asked, having heard the bell chime on his end of the phone.

"Uh-huh. But, I can't drive home."

"Okay, and I can't pick you because I'm meeting with a CI. You okay if Adam picks you up and brings you back to the district? Then, me and someone else can go pick up your car from school later?"

"Okay. Why can't I just go home?"

"Because, if you're feeling as crappy as you say you are, then I'd prefer that someone has eyes on you. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay, bye Jay."

Then, you hung up, told the secretary you'd be leaving so that she could send an email to your teachers, grabbed your stuff from your locker, and came back to the office to wait for Adam.

***

Twenty minutes later, Adam walked into the office.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm gonna sign you out and then we'll get you out of here, okay?" You had balled up your sweatshirt and were using it as a pillow and had your eyes closed. But, you cracked them open and nodded. Adam knew this definitely wasn't you lying to get out of a test because usually, you'd tell him not to call you kiddo, seeing as you were sixteen.

Adm showed his ID to the secretary and then he signed you out. You stood up and your head started pounding even more due to the sudden change in posture.

"Here, I can take your bag," Adam offered and you handed him your backpack.

"Thanks," you said quietly.

Then, you made your way to Adam's Jeep and got in the backseat. Not even two minutes into the trip to the district, you knew you couldn't take the music that was playing from the radio...even though you knew it was lower than he normally played it.

"Adam?" you asked, your head now resting on your balled-up sweatshirt as you tried your best to lay down while still buckled up in the backseat.

"Yeah?"

"Can you turn off the music? It really hurts my head."

"Of course." Then, he quickly turned off the radio and the two of you rode in silence the rest of the way to the district.

Adam would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you.

***

"Mini Halstead! What's--" Trudy Platt exclaimed when you and Adam walked into the district, but Adam quickly placed a finger to his lips as you whimpered at the loudness of her voice. "Sorry," she whispered. "You hungry?"

You shook your head. "Thanks, though."

The desk sergeant nodded. "Let me know if she needs anything," she directed to Adam.

"Will do, Sarge."

Then, the two of you made your way up the stairs and into Intelligence, not without the buzzer on the gate causing you to hiss at the pain it caused in your temples.

"Mini Halstead!" Kevin exclaimed, but Adam quickly put a finger to his lips as you whimpered at his loud voice.

Jay quickly made his way over to you. "Let's go into the break room, okay?" You nodded. Jay turned to Adam. "I can take her bag."

Jay took your backpack from Adam and then the two of you went into the break room.

"There's some Tylenol and water on the table for you," Jay said, fully expecting you to walk over and get it. But, instead, you just plopped yourself down on the couch. "Or, I can bring it to you."

He gave you the water and the two pills and you took them.

"Have you eaten anything since breakfast?" he asked.

You shook your head. "Hurts to chew."

"Okay." Jay paused for a moment. "I think I have a banana I brought with me in case I got hungry. Is that soft enough for you to chew? I want you to eat something."

"I guess," you mumbled as you laid down on the couch. "Just wanna sleep."

"I know, but I wanna get some calories in you before you do that. Can you just stay awake for like five more minutes?" You nodded. "Okay, I'll be right back."

Jay came back two minutes later with a banana and a blanket.

"Where'd you get the blanket?" you asked.

"I keep it in my truck for late-night stakeouts. Here." He handed you the banana and then set the blanket next to you. "I don't have a pillow, so your sweatshirt will have to do. You all set?"

"Yeah, gonna eat this and take a nap."

"Okay, I'll make sure Voight doesn't yell too much. This door's pretty much soundproof though, so you should be fine. Come get me if you need anything."

"Okay."

Then, you ate the banana, folded up your hoodie and put it under your head, and pulled the blanket over you, quickly falling asleep.

***

You woke up two hours later feeling too warm. Your migraine had subsided into just a headache...but you knew in a couple of hours, the migraine would probably be back after the Tylenol had worn off. And, it was still a decently bad headache, just without the light hurting your eyes as much.

But then, you had an idea.

Sometimes at home when you had headaches, you'd lay your head on the tiled floor of the bathroom because it was cold. Cold surfaces always seemed to help.

So, you looked out into the bullpen to see if anyone was there.

No one.

You picked up your phone to see a text from Jay saying that they had gone on a raid and would be back soon and that if you needed anything, to let Trudy know. He also said that he had let Will know what was going on and that he'd be at the apartment later tonight to check up on you.

You wrapped the blanket around you and then made your way out of the bullpen and into an empty interrogation room.

You sat down in the cold metal chair and held your blanket tighter around your body. Then, you laid your head on the cold metal table and relished the feeling of coolness on your head.

Yeah, this will help.

***

"I didn't do it! I swear!" a drug dealer that Trudy was holding by the arm defended himself while Trudy led him to an interrogation room.

"Not that I don't believe you," she started, "but I've heard that one before."

She walked into the interrogation room and her eyes went wide when she saw you lying with your head on the table, asleep.

"What's a kid doing in here? I don't know her!"

"Shut up," Trudy told him. "Come on."

Then, she pulled him towards the next interrogation room.

"Some officers will be in here soon to have a chat with you. Feel free to make yourself comfortable."

Then, Trudy left the room and closed the door, and made her way into the interrogation room where you were currently sleeping.

She knelt down beside you. "Y/N," she whispered. You didn't stir. She placed a hand on your shoulder. "Kid, wake up."

"Hmmm, no," you said, not even lifting your head up. "Wanna go home. Cold feels good on my  head."

Then, Trudy heard the buzzer to Intelligence go off. "I'll be back," she told you.

"Uh-huh," you said, closing your eyes once again.

Trudy walked into Intelligence and immediately set her sights on Jay.

"Halstead," she barked.

Jay quickly turned his head. "What can I do for you, Sarge?"

"You can explain to me why that sister of yours is currently taking a nap in one of my interrogation rooms because she says the cold feels good on her head and then get her out of there," she told him.

"What?" he asked, more confused than ever.

"Y/N's napping at the table in an interrogation room. I need you to get her out of there. I almost put a dealer in there."

"Why's she in there?"

"Like I just told you: she said the cold feels good on her head. But I need you to get her out of there. Now."

"Copy you, Sarge."

"Good choice, Chuckles, good choice."

Then, Jay made his way to the interrogation room that Trudy told him that you were in.

He squatted down next to you. "Y/N," he whispered.

"Feels good. Leave," you mumbled.

"You know I can't let you stay in here. We gotta get you back out into the break room. It's not safe for you in here."

"Don't care."

Jay huffed. "I know you don't, but I do."

You opened your eyes to see that Jay had turned the lights on all the way...compared to how dim you had them before.

Fuck, it had been a few hours since you had taken the Tylenol and it was wearing off.

You closed your eyes again.

"Y/N," Jay warned.

"Light hurts."

Jay sighed. "Okay, I'll dim the lights and I'll be right back."

Jay dimmed the lights and walked out of the interrogation room and into the bullpen once more.

"Why's she not out yet?" Voight asked.

Jay rummaged around in his desk while he answered. "She said the light hurts her eyes, so I'm giving her these to wear." He held up a pair of sunglasses.

"Huh." Voight paused. "Take her home, Jay. You're done for the day. I don't expect to see you back here until Monday."

"Sarge, all due respect, but it's Wednesday and we're in the middle of a case."

"We'll be fine for one half-finished case without you, Jay. Y/N's family. Take care of her. Just think of it as of tomorrow, you get to have a four-day weekend."

"Can I get one of those four-day weekends?" Adam asked.

"No," Voight answered without skipping a beat. "Go take care of your sister, Halstead."

Jay nodded and then grabbed your backpack from the break room and then returned to his desk for his keys and jacket and then went back to the interrogation room.

"Y/N, we're gonna go home now," he whispered when he walked into the room.

"Yay," you said in a monotone voice and slowly lifted your head up and then rubbed your hands down your face.

"Put these on. They should help with the light."

You took the sunglasses from him and put them on. Then, you two slowly walked out of the room and outside of the district to his truck.

***

"So she's sensitive to light and sound?" Will asked Jay over the phone once Will had gotten off shift and realized his brother had called him concerning your headache.

"Yeah, pretty sure it's a migraine," Jay confirmed.

"She mention anything about nausea?"

"When we were driving home she did."

"Could also be that she started getting motion sick if it only happened in the car. I'll stop over and take a look. She eaten anything?"

"Just breakfast and a banana."

"Jesus, man. It's past five o'clock. She needs more than that!"

"I know, but she said it hurts to chew, so I didn't want to force her."

"Okay, I get it then. I'll pick up some food on my way. I'll get Panera Bread so I can get her some soup. Text me what you want."

"Okay, thanks, man. And Y/N likes--"

"--the cheese broccoli soup. I know, Jay, I know."

"Just checking."

Then, Jay hung up and started to look at the menu and then texted Will what he wanted. Now he just had to wait for Will to come over and hopefully fix you. Because Jay would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about you.

***

"Thanks for coming, man," Jay said as he opened the door. "God, she's making me really worried."

"Whoa, it must be bad if you're admitting you're worried," Will joked and then set the bag of food on the counter.

"Dude, she was napping in an interrogation room because she said the table was cold and it felt good on her head! Damn right I'm worried!"

"Okay, just...get the food out and I'll go check her out. Hopefully, I can figure out what's making her get all these headaches. She mention headaches before now?"

"Yeah, for about the past week, week and a half. But, they've never been this bad. And, if they were, she hasn't told me."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see if she'll tell me more. She's gonna be okay."

Jay nodded and then Will made his way to your bedroom.

He opened the door to see that you were sound asleep with your blinds closed all the way. You had your fan on and had earplugs in, so he assumed that just wanted the fan on for the cool air and not the noise...and the noise was the reason you usually wanted it on.

Gently, Will touched your shoulder.

"Go away, Jay," you mumbled and rolled over to face the wall.

"It's not Jay, it's--" Will sighed when he realized you wouldn't be able to hear him because of the earplugs you had in. So, he settled on shaking your shoulder until you opened your eyes and realized it was him and not Jay.

You took out the earplugs.

"Can you fix it?" you asked. Then, you whimpered. "It hurts so bad."

Your lip started to tremble. You didn't want to cry because you knew it would make your migraine worse, but you couldn't stop the tears; you were so sick of these damn headaches and this migraine.

"When did they start?" Will asked and turned off the fan.

"Three weeks ago," you answered.

"Jay said only a week and a half."

"I didn't tell him. I thought they were from school stress, but they won't go away. Make it stop! Please! I can't- I can't even think straight anymore, Will."

You put your head in your hands and rubbed your temples.

"Have you been eating a lot of different foods? Getting too little sleep? Drinking too much caffeine? Weird periods?"

"No, none of that." You wanted to tell him that it was weird having him ask you about your period, but your head hurt so bad that you refrained.

"Okay, well, I think Jay's got the food ready, so do you think you can manage some cheese broccoli soup from Panera?"

You shrugged. "Maybe a little."

"That's good enough for me. C'mon."

You grabbed a pair of sunglasses from your bedside table next to you and then followed Will out into the hallway and then put the sunglasses on.

"How you doing?" Jay asked as he finished pouring everyone water.

You shrugged. "Still hurts."

"I'm sorry, but the bottle says you can't have anymore Tylenol yet."

You nodded and sat down and slowly started to eat your soup, sunglasses still on.

You started to eat and then realized your soup was kind of cold. You stood up.

"Soup cold?" Jay asked.

You nodded and put it in the microwave.

Then, something clicked in Will's head.

Cold.

Temperature.

"Barometric pressure," Will muttered. Then he looked up, a smile starting to spread across his face. "Barometric pressure," he repeated, this time louder.

"Bara-what-now?" Jay asked.

"It's essentially the air pressure when the weather changes," he explained. "Remember when Y/N was in elementary school and would have really bad allergies in the fall?"

"Yeah," Jay said. "What's this got to do with migraines?"

"Migraines start around adolescence and since she had allergies in the fall before, I'm fairly certain that this is why she's getting them."

"You know why?" you asked as you sat back down, your soup now warm. "Can you make them stop?"

"I think I do. But, we'd have to get you checked out tomorrow."

"Okay. Thank you. Get me an appointment."

A few days later, after lots of naps, soup, and tv when your headache/migraine decided to subside, you were put on corticosteroids for what were called "cluster headaches" in the medical field. You're only supposed to be on them for about two weeks and then you'd have to be reassessed. But, for now, your migraines had subsided and you could finally, finally think clearly.

***

Sorry About your Truck (age 18)

You didn't know what was happening. One second you were driving on the circle of the on-ramp to the highway, and the next, you fishtailed to the right. You spun your wheel to the left, maybe slammed on the brakes (which you knew you weren't supposed to do), and then slid to the right again. It all happened so fast that you didn't even know how it happened.

But, you knew how you got in this position.

"Fuck," you muttered as you put your hand up to the vent in your car the day before you left for school. Even though it was set to defrost, you still should've been able to feel some heat coming out. But you felt nothing. Well, nothing but cold air.

You trudged back inside to see Jay putting on his jacket.

"I think my heat in my car's broken," you said.

Jay looked at you and raised his eyebrows. "You probably just didn't turn it on."

"Yes, I did. And I double-checked. Come see."

So, Jay walked out to your car. And sure enough, your heat was broken.

"I'll drop you off at school and then we'll bring the car to the shop tonight. C'mon," Jay told you.

"I have to work tomorrow until 11," you said. "How am I supposed to go to work?"

Jay sighed. "I'll figure it out."

Because, he knew for a fact he couldn't let you drive without heat...not in these Chicago winters.

***

"Jay, man, you gotta go to sleep," Will told his younger brother.

"Dude, it's getting icy out!" Jay argued over the phone. "I'm staying awake until she gets home!"

Will sighed. "Fine. I know there's no changing your mind."

"Thank you. Now, I'm gonna see if I can find a hockey game happening on the west coast and watch that. I'll text you when she gets home."

"I don't need you to do that, but if it makes you feel better, feel free. God, you need to make your cop instincts chill for once."

***

You screamed. You didn't know what to do. One second you swerved to the left and then you swerved to the right. You tried to correct yourself again and get back on the road, but it wasn't working...not like it worked last time when you tried to go back the opposite way anyway. But, now, oh now you were more terrified than before...if that was even possible.

You felt hot tears sting your eyes as you heard the sounds of metal ripping through metal. Then, you felt yourself tumbling. You didn't know if you were screaming at this point, but you felt your knee jam into the dashboard and the next thing you knew, you were upside down with only your seatbelt keeping you in place and the broken glass from the windows had left a smattering of cuts along your body, with the deepest one being on your forehead.

You kept flailing your arms, trying to do something, anything to get you out. And then you heard the sound of sirens and the snow around you started turning blue.

Great...you had found the button to turn on Jay's sirens. Just great.

"Help!" you yelled.

You hoped that someone would call 911....but according to these sirens, you were 911.

***

"Squad 3, Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Engine 51, Battalion 25. Single vehicle car accident. Person trapped."

"Single vehicle?" Casey asked. "Why do they need all of us?"

"Beats me," Severide said. "But we're about to find out."

***

"A cop car?" Kelly asked as he furrowed his eyebrows on the way to the scene.

"Guess so, Lieutenant," Cruz said. "Looks like an undercover car to me, too."

As they got closer, Kelly noticed something. He knew that truck.

"Casey," he said into his radio, "that look like Jay Halstead's truck to you?"

Casey tilted his head. "You know, it actually does. Dispatch," he started, "this is Truck 81 to Main, can you get in contact with the 21st District and see if Jay Halstead is on duty tonight and then get back to us?"

"Copy that Truck 81."

They all pulled up to the scene and Boden started directing everyone.

"Squad, we need to get that victim out. Truck, help Squad with figuring out how to get the victim out. Chances are we'll have to cut the car and need all hands on deck. Engine, I need you on standby in case there's a gas leak and a fire starts. Sixty-One, do all you can."

They all said their "copy that's" in some form or another and then Casey, Stella, and all of Squad 3 went over to look at the truck.

"Help!" you yelled. "Somebody help me, please!" At this point, the blood from your forehead was dripping all over the roof of the truck. At least, since you were upside down, the blood wasn't going into your eyes. But, tears were rolling down your cheeks. You were terrified and your knee was in so much pain from being crushed up against the dash and your head was starting to burn where you had been cut by the glass.

"Main to Truck 81, Jay Halstead is not on duty tonight according to the 21st."

"It's not Halstead!" Casey yelled. "He's not on duty!"

They all raced up to the truck.

"I'm gonna climb up to the window and see how the victim's doing. I'll tell you what we need from there," Kelly said.

Then, with the help of Cruz and Capp, he got on top of the rolled-over vehicle.

"Help! Please help me!" you yelled.

"We're gonna get you out, don't worry!" Kelly yelled once he was close enough that he knew you'd be able to hear him.

You knew that voice.

Kelly looked down into the truck to see you straining your neck to look out the broken window and up to him.

"Don't move!" he ordered. He had no idea whether or not you had sustained injuries to your spinal cord.

"O- Okay," you whimpered. "I'm scared, Kelly."

"I know, I know. But we're gonna get you out of here. It'll all be okay." He turned his head so that it was back facing Squad, Casey, and Stella. "Casey!" he yelled. "I need you to tell Boden to get in touch with one of the Halsteads! It's Y/N!"

***

"Hello?" Jay asked sleepily into his phone. He had finally taken Will's advice and had tried to go to sleep...with a Vegas Golden Knights vs. Colorado Avalanche game playing in the background since that was the NHL game that was happening on the west coast right now.

"Halstead, it's Wallace Boden. Are you aware that your sister was driving your truck?"

At this, Jay sat up straight, sleep be damned. "She was. Why? What happened? Is she okay?"

He stood up and started pacing the room.

"Jay, I'm going to tell you the location and I need you to call Will and you both need to get here ASAP."

"Chief, all due respect, but you need to tell me what's going on."

"Y/N's been in a car accident. It's a roll-over crash. She's currently stuck in the car but conscious."

Everything Jay learned about bad news from your mom and dad passing, to his time in the military, to him being a cop flew out the window in that very moment.

"She's been in a crash? Can they get her out? Tell me they're gonna get her out, Chief! They have to!"

"Jay, my men are doing everything they can. But right now, you need to call your brother and you need to get to this location as fast as possible."

"Okay, yeah, yeah. I can do that."

Then, Jay quickly hung up.

After calling Will four times in a row, he finally picked up.

"Dude, I'm about to be in surgery, what's--"

"Y/N's been in a car accident. We need to go there now."

Will almost dropped his phone.

"What? How? When?"

"I don't know, all I know is that Boden called me and told me to get to the scene ASAP. I'll pick you up on  the way."

Then, without waiting for Will's response, Jay hung up the phone and dialed a number he never thought he'd be calling off duty: his new partner, Hailey Upton.

"Hailey, it's Jay. I need a favor."

***

"Capp!" Kelly yelled. "We need to cut through the seat to get it off from the floor because that's currently the ceiling! Squad and 81, we need to cut the back of the truck so we can get her out of here! 51, figure out how to kill these sirens! And, Brett, I need you to come up here and take a look so you can tell me the best way to get her out of here!"

Sylvie Brett started sprinting over to the truck with her jump bag and then Casey and Cruz helped her onto the truck and Kelly gave her his hand to make sure she got all the way up there safely.

"Y/N, I'm Sylvie. Do you remember me?" she asked calmly.

"Uh-huh," you answered, trying your best not to move your head like had Kelly told you.

"I bet your leg hurts really bad, huh?"

"Not, not really," you answered.

Sylvie and Kelly shared a look. They knew what this was: you were going into shock.

"Hand me that flashlight," Sylvie said to Kelly. He handed it to her. "Yeah, she's tensing her leg muscles, which is probably why she can't feel it. She's still having an adrenaline rush since she seems to unconsciously tensing them. We'll still give her pain meds as soon as we can because when the pain wears off, it's gonna hurt.

"For now, I need to get a C-collar on her and when she gets out, I need her on a backboard and I need that leg in a splint. Try your best not to do any sudden movements that can hurt her leg even more than it already is. By the looks of it, I'm assuming she shattered her knee cap."

"Got the bolt cutters, Severide!" Capp yelled.

"Got the saw, too!" Casey yelled. "I think we should start by cutting the end of the truck, sound good?"

"Yeah, that works!" He took off his turnout coat and handed it to Brett. "Get in there, get a C-collar on her, and cover her with this while we cut the end of the truck. Close your eyes and cover your head with your jacket. Yell to me when you're ready."

"Why aren't you going in there?" Sylvie asked as she positioned herself to jump through the window and down into the truck.

"I don't think I could fit through that window."

"You never know," Sylvie said and then slipped down and into the truck.

"They're gonna cut it?" you asked frantically. "But what if they hurt me?"

"Y/N, it's okay. They won't hurt you. They're professionals. They've done this hundreds of times. But, I need you to stay calm for me. I'm gonna put this C-collar around your neck and cover you with this coat so that debris doesn't get in your eyes." She didn't mention the cut on your forehead and at the moment, she hoped you weren't feeling it.

Sylvie got the C-collar around your neck to stabilize it and then she put the turnout coat over you and pulled hers over her head. "Ready!" she yelled to Kelly.

You started hearing the sound of metal being cut. You could feel your heart pounding out of your chest, but at the same time, you couldn't feel anything at all.

***

"There it is!" Jay pointed from the passenger seat of Hailey's car. The hospital had been on their way to the scene, so they grabbed Will on the way. Jay was thankful because he knew that the hospital would be close if you needed to go there.

Will was practically standing up in the backseat so that he could jump out of the car as quickly as possible. He needed to make sure you were okay.

Hailey had barely put the car in park when both Halsteads jumped out.

"Chief!" Jay yelled. "Where is she?"

"She's still in the car. They're trying--"

"They're trying?" Jay yelled angrily, cutting Chief Boden off. "If she's not out yet and it's been this long then they sure as hell aren't trying! I swear to God if--"

"Jay!" Will yelled and stepped in front of him and gave him a shove to push him away from Boden. "You need to calm down!"

"Calm down? Don't tell me to fucking calm down! Our sister's in a roll-over crash and you're telling me to calm down?"

"I understand you're upset," Boden started, "but you two shouldn't even be here right now. And, if you don't want to be pushed back behind the yellow tape, I suggest you calm down."

Jay glared at Boden but kept his mouth shut.

Jay started walking away and then locked eyes with Stella. He picked up his pace. Will tried to pull him back because he had a feeling he knew what he was going to do, but he was too late.

"Stella!" he yelled. "What's happening? You gotta tell me what's going on in there. Please."

Stella sighed. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. But, she knew if it was anyone in her family, hell if it was Kelly or anyone else in Firehouse 51, she'd want to know what was going on, too.

"She's upside down, hanging from her seat. Her knee's jammed up against the dash. She's still conscious, but they have to get her out."

There was a loud creaking sound that caused everyone to turn their attention back to the scene.

They had sawed through the back half of the truck and were now going in.

"Casey, Kelly," Stella said into her radio, "can I get an update on the situation? Jay and Will are here and they just want to know."

"We just gotta get the chair down, Kidd," Casey's voice came from her radio. "She's still conscious. She's scared, but she should get out fine."

Jay looked up at the sky while Will sighed in relief.

You'd be getting out of there just fine.

***

The next few hours were a blur of you getting out of the truck and being taken by ambulance to Chicago Med (Will rode with you because of Jay's fear of needles), and you being in knee surgery.

Jay and Will had to wait outside while you were in surgery. And they were beside themselves.

"God, I shouldn't have let her take my truck," Jay vented as he was pacing the waiting area with his hands on his head.

"You couldn't have known it was gonna snow like this. It wasn't supposed to snow like this," Will comforted.

"How do you do it?" Jay asked.

Will furrowed his eyebrows. "Do what?"

"Stay so calm? Like, when we were at the scene, you were so calm when I was absolutely losing it."

"I don't know, I really don't. Maybe I realized that being pissed wasn't going to help anyone. But, when I heard Stella and Casey tell us what was going on, I knew she was going to be okay. There were no injuries to the abdomen, chest, or head--well, except for that laceration on her forehead--and she was conscious. I just knew."

"So you're telling me, you thought logically with medical knowledge?" Jay asked. He had absolutely no idea such a sophisticated sentence would ever make its way out of his mouth, but hey, there was a time and place for everything.

"That and I knew you'd be pissed, so I knew I'd have to at least be calm enough to calm you down...or hold you back."

"There it is."

***

You woke up an hour later. You blinked, trying to remember what happened, and then it all came rushing back. The fishtailing...the screaming...Kelly talking to you...the sound of metal being cut...

You took a deep breath.

This alerted your brothers that you were awake.

"Hey, how was being under?" Will asked jokingly. You had always asked what it felt like to be under anesthesia and Will said he couldn't really explain it; he said you'd just have to find out some time.

"It was a nice nap," you answered.

Will laughed. "I bet it was. Feeling better?"

"Tired," you yawned.

"Well, it is just past four in the morning, so that makes sense."

You looked at Jay. "I'm sorry about your truck. I was just going down the exit ramp and it happened so fast and--"

"Hey, hey," Jay said quickly and stood up. "It's okay. It's just a truck, it's replaceable; you, kiddo, are not."

Will smiled. "Borrowing a line from Mom's book when we both inevitably got in our first car accidents, I see."

Your finger started to move toward the stitches on your forehead.

"No, no, no," Will said quickly. "Don't touch them!"

You kept running your finger over them. "But they feel funny."

"That's because you haven't gotten them before. They'll feel even funnier if you pop one and me or someone else has to redo them."

Your stomach grumbled.

"Okay, what do you want to eat?" Will asked. He handed you a cup of water, too because he figured that if you were hungry, that you'd be thirsty as well.

You took a few sips and then answered. "Olive Garden."

Jay laughed. "Olive Garden isn't open at four am."

You pursed your lips to the side, thinking about what you wanted. "Pizza."

"I'll go have someone grab you some," Will said.

"Maybe send Adam because he can just call the cafeteria lady darlin' and then just like that,--" Jay snapped his fingers---, "she'll get an extra piece for free," Jay suggested.

"Adam's here?" you asked.

"Everyone's here," Jay answered. "They all wanted to make sure that you were okay...and the 21st also got called to see if I was on duty since it was my truck."

"If it makes you guys feel any better, I don't think I'll be driving for a while."

"That's okay. Voight gave me a few weeks off to look after you while you're recovering and I think Goodwin's letting Will cut down his hours."

"What he means Y/N, is that you'll be stuck with us telling you not to try to walk for a few weeks," Will said.

"Uh," you groaned.

Will and Jay both laughed. "I'm gonna go see if Adam can get you that pizza," Will said. He was almost out the door when he added, "you better not touch your stitches while I'm gone."

The next few weeks was a blur of doing all your schoolwork at home--and a lot of times, from the couch--, Jay and Will scolding you if you so much as tried to bend your leg, lots of movies and tv shows (and Jay and Will always let you pick because you couldn't really do much while you were laid up at home), and convincing Jay to buy you lots of Oreos and cheddar popcorn. And if he didn't...well, you'd just text Will (luckily you had insurance on your phone and could get a new one without paying a lot after the crash) and he'd bring you your Oreos and cheddar popcorn. After the first two weeks, Jay just had to live with the fact that he was outnumbered when it came to you and your favorite snacks.

***

Rough Shift (age 21)

Trigger warning for mentions of suicidal ideation!

You sat at Molly's finishing up your second pomegranate martini...and it was only 6 pm. You waved Stella over to have her make you another one.

"Y/N, I know you drove here. I can't in good conscience give you another drink. Hell, I didn't even want to give you the last one! But, I can get you a pop if you want? Or lemonade?"

"Stella," you whined. "I just want another drink. It's been a really rough day at work. Please, just make me another one."

"You know I can't do that. What happened at work? Maybe it'll help to talk about it. We've all had rough shifts before and talking about it or crying it out usually helps."

"I can't really cry it out right in the middle of a bar." You took a shaky breath. "Even though, I really wish I could." Tears started to sting your eyes. You couldn't cry. Not here. "I think I'm gonna go have that cry." You set some money on the bar. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. And hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, Y/N, I'm your girl."

"Thanks, Stella."

Then, you left Molly's. But, you didn't go straight home. You decided to go to the store instead. And all you bought there was a bottle of peach Moscato.

Time to get buzzed enough to forget for the time being.

***

When you got home, you popped some food in the microwave since you hadn't eaten since basically breakfast save for some beef jerky and an apple, and unscrewed the cap to the wine you had just bought. Normally, you wouldn't buy a ton of alcohol for yourself because you'd just take Jay or Hailey's drinks if she brought any over (yes, you still lived with Jay because college is ridiculously expensive and you were trying to get out of school with as little debt as possible...if any), but those two were on a camping trip on Lake Michigan for the weekend. You were supposed to go, but then you had to work. So, Will ended up going instead. He said maybe he'd meet a girl up there and you just laughed.

You took a few sips of your wine and then realized that maybe you should call your brothers. You knew this wasn't healthy and you felt like everything was coming down on you at once: the stories you heard at work, being in the hospital, currently just being physically and emotionally exhausted and hungry.

So, you dialed Jay's number.

"Hey, Y/N, what's up?" he asked. He put the phone on speaker so he could finish adding wood to the campfire he was building for him, Hailey, and Will to roast hot dogs over.

"It's just, it's been a really bad day," you said, your voice cracking.

Will was near him and he looked at Jay worriedly.

"Why's that?" Jay asked.

"I- I had to go the hospital with a girl because she- because she said she was going to kill herself." Tears were currently rolling down your cheeks. You had kept it together all day and now you were crumbling.

Working in a group home you knew things like this were bound to happen, but you didn't know they'd happen in your first two months there. And, to make matters worse, you got the email when you were driving into work, so you really had no idea what was going on. When you got to work, you were told you had to go to Lakeshore Memorial Hospital because a girl was saying she was going to kill herself the night before. And, you didn't have the staff to get her back inside safely, so, as is protocol, the shift lead the shift before yours had to call emergency services to take her to the hospital. You didn't know about any of this until you got to work when you were debriefed and then told you'd have to go to the hospital.

God, you knew this happened but nothing prepared you for sitting in that dark room with her all shift, the monitors beeping, telling you that she was still alive. You had done some homework and you had talked with her, gotten more information about why she did it. You had read her file, but she really seemed to open up to you and told you more. And, what broke your heart the most was that, since she was in a group home, she had no family. So, you did your best to sit with her the entire shift, only leaving to go to the bathroom, get some water, or make a phone call to your shift lead. Because, even if you were doing homework and she was sleeping or just sitting in silence, you knew it helped to have someone there with you. And, you knew if it was you in that position, you'd want someone to be there with you.

"Are you okay?" Jay asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"No," you admitted. "I don't want to be alone."

Jay sighed. There was nothing he could really do for you at this point. "Y/N--"

"I'll grab my stuff and I'll be there in an hour and half, Y/N," Will interjected.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to leave. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want you wasting your weekend off--"

"Y/N," Will began, "it's fine. I'll see you soon."

***

Will walked inside carrying a bag of McDonald's.

He walked into the living room to see you sipping wine out of the bottle. You weren't even halfway through it yet. You were just a little buzzed because you had drank the martinis a couple of hours ago. So, now you needed to get more buzzed to forget about your horrible shift. Normally you never did this: drink to forget. But today, well today, you deemed it warranted.

"Y/N, at least pour it in a glass," Will sighed and then sat down next to you and set the bag of food on the coffee table in front of you.

"Why's it matter? I'm the only one who drinks Moscato; you and Jay say it's too sweet."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to drink too much."

"But I just wanna forget what happened, Will," you said as you turned to face him. You started to cry. "She's just a kid. She shouldn't be going through this. Hell, she shouldn't have gone through what happened to her in her past! She didn't deserve it!"

Will wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug while you cried. He knew because of confidentiality reasons that you couldn't tell him any more than you had just told him and what you mentioned on the phone.

"I know, I know," he soothed.

"I know she didn't- she didn't die," you cried. "But, God, it feels like I got my first death."

"And, crying about it is nothing to be ashamed of," Will said. "When I had my first patient death, I went home and did exactly what you did: cried and drank until I couldn't think straight, much less think about what happened at work."

You pulled away. You didn't think Will ever cried over something that happened at work. "You did?"

"Hand to God, I did."

"How do you cope with this stuff all the time?"

"You do the best you can with the knowledge you have. You talk to somebody about how you're feeling and you don't drown yourself in drinking, drugs, or sex." He moved your bottle of wine. "You cope in healthy ways. And, sooner or later, you realize that you can't save everybody. And, that you can't change the past.

"You can't change what happened in this girl's past to make her end up in a group home or have these intrusive thoughts, but you can help change her future by being there for her and listening to her, and helping her get to a better place."

"That's what I want to do."

"Good, then you're in the right place to do that. You just have to focus on your wins and not your losses."

You pulled away and wiped your hands across your face to get rid of the tears. "Thank you for coming home. I, uh, I really needed that."

Will nodded. "You're welcome. I wished someone would've told me that earlier in medical school and I didn't want you to feel like I felt."

"Is that why you decided to come home and not Jay?"

"Part of the reason."

You raised an eyebrow. "And the other part?"

"I figured Jay and Hailey could use a night all to themselves."

"Gross!" You faked gagged and Will laughed.

"I don't know if you'll be able to eat now that I mentioned that, but how about we try and we can watch a funny movie?"

"I like that idea."

And, even though you really wanted to get buzzed to forget about the day you had, you knew it was better for you to talk about it with Will and eat takeout and watch a movie with him. And, you were pretty sure you felt better after that than you would if you drank an entire bottle of wine by yourself.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading! Sorry this one took so long, but I'm in school and working, so updates won't be as frequent as they were in the summer. And finally, please remember to like/reblog and comment! I love reading your comments! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

[darkdevasofdestruction]

A Thousand Year Love ~ Ryomen Sukuna x Kitsune!Reader

Okay, I wrote the Reader's name as "Kitsune", but that's mostly because I envisioned a nine tailed fox without an actual name, that everyone would just call her "Fox" as if she wasn't anyone worth naming, despite her rank.

This is a little fic which explored Sukuna's supposed backstory, 1000 years prior to he action of Jujutsu Kaisen - Idk if it's accurate, I didn't yet read the manga, I still have 6 more episodes from the anime, but I had this idea and I couldn't stop myself from writing about it.

Most of it builds up the bond that very slowly grows between Sukuna and Kitsune, then snaps during a scene somewhere around episode 4 of the anime, when Sukuna takes over Yuji's body, and Yuji can't switch for a while, but with enough altercations that it's not exactly the same as in the said episode.

Hope you enjoy this <3

-------------

"What are we doing here...?" Kitsune asked her parents in a voice that was barely audible as she looked left and right at the huge estate's gardens.

Estate? Rather said, palace, since this place was grandiose - Most likely, even more so than the Emperor's own Palace, the girl thought to herself. Everywhere she looked, cherry, plum and pear trees were in blossom, even though it wasn't their time. Statues and little shrines, along with various small pools with flowers, lanterns and lotuses were scattered as much as her vision would allow her to see. Looking up at the estate, she realised just how small she was in comparison to the intimidating and imposing energies radiating all over the place.

"You are going to meet someone very important, dear." her mother spoke, yet her voice wasn't as gentle as usual, rather, it sounded stiff, on the edge...Almost afraid, maybe? It was foreign for young Kitsune, as she has been confined in her little palace her whole life under the pretext of keeping her safe. But it did exactly the opposite, she believed, considering she itched to explore and go on adventures with each second passing. "Who is it?" she asked as soon as they stepped inside the palace...But it was so dark, save for the red, malicious light from the lanterns and candles lit in just the perfect places so it would guide them to the room they had to go to. "...You will find out soon." her father snapped at her, and she could only frown, her fluffy ears flicking as her tails wrapped protectively around herself. She knew something was wrong, and she had half a mind to believe she was brought there as a sacrifice for some War Deity that would allegedly save them from this era of war...Or something along the lines.

After a longer walk than expected, they found themselves in front of two large, red doors, and without any kind of reticence, Kitsune effortlessly slammed the doors open and saw a dimly lit room with a few stairs and a throne where a man with short, kinda spiky pink hair, garbed in a loose, white kimono was smugly sprawled over that royally embellished chair, while tons of gorgeous women dressed in the most luxurious kimonos, their hair done up with intricate headpieces and flowers that would put any living being to shame...

But what is this about? Kitsune was more confused than anything, and she could only step inside the room, slowly and carefully, before turning to look at her parents, who had a pitiful look in their eyes.

"What is going on?" Kitsune demanded an answer, her voice agitated, her body ready to go into a fight or flight mode, her eyes darting rapidly between her parents and the man on the throne whose name she wasn't interested in finding out. "Well, darling...You see...You had to find you a husband. You are old enough to be married, and you can't stay with us forever. You need to have a family and children. You are the princess of the Fox clan, there is nobody more beautiful than you -..." her mother tried to reason, but the young girl wasn't stupid. She understood what was going on. "No. No. If you want to speak - Then speak the truth. Don't lie to me. This guy is strong, isn't he? Some kind of demonic thing that everyone is afraid off. You are giving me away to this guy...To be his...Thousandth concubine in his harem or something, just because you're too weak to take care of our kin. That's the truth, isn't it? Go on, admit it. Stop trying to sugar coat the situation." her nine tails opened from around her in a large, undulating fan, making her aggression obvious, as fire began to immolate the tips of her fur. "SHUT UP, IMPERTINENT, UNRULY CHILD!" her mother slapped her face, not wanting their benefactor to hear his future concubine speaking so foul of him. "You are a woman, and the princess, nonetheless, and your role is to continue our kin and obey your family and husband. Do not speak unless you are allowed to!" but before her mother could grab her face, Kitsune's tail slapped her hand away, and she stepped back. "I am nobody's toy. I will not obey anyone's orders. Not yours, and not his. I will not be just another concubine for some disgusting, good for nothing lecher with no redeeming quality." the girl snarled at them, ready to make her escape out of there, if needed. "If your sister was alive, she would have sacrificed herself for the greater good of this family! You are nothing more than a selfish brat!" it was her father's time to accuse her, which made her ears perk up, while her tails completely deflated. "Yes, of course, how could I forget. It was me who should have died, not my perfect elder sister. Sorry, but you should curse the Gods, not me for that. But, since it seems that my life is meaningless to you, then I will make you a favour! I will end it myself! I'm sure you'll be happy without me, won't you? Ahh...But how will you save our war-ridden? Too bad I won't be alive to witness your demise, huh?" with a dark chuckle, Kitsune's hand went inside her kimono, taking the small kodachi sword and unsheathing it, hearing only the gasps and shrieks of fright from the harem girls. Kitsune could only guess that these girls were all high-born and unfamiliar to the horrible things happening outside of these walls. "What the hell are you doing, you idiotic child?! Cease this madness at once!" her mother shrieked at her, lounging towards her, trying to stop herself from impaling that blade through her body, and yet...

The second the girl launched her hand down to stab herself...She got stopped. The whole place became instantly silent, save for the sound of a blade bouncing down as it fell on the wooden floor. "Enough." a dark, annoyed voice resounded through the place as Kitsune's wrists were grasped by the man's...Front hands? While her body was immobilized in an embrace by his other two arms. "I was promised a beautiful princess as a concubine, and you failed to do as you promised. Leave, before I get bored and kill you." he threatened the two adult fox people who scurried away in a hurry, leaving behind their only daughter without a second thought. "You, however...Will remain here." he chuckled in her ear, but Kitsune wasn't one to be messed with. Her answer came in the form of lighting up her tails on fire an wrapping them around the man, who hissed and unhanded her, allowing her enough time to go into a corner and get in a fleeing stance. "Why did you stop me? I have no intention of being one of your whores. You should have let me end it right there." she scoffed at the man, who dismissed the bottom pair of arms and laughed. It was almost a psychopathic laugh, she thought, and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up - Unsure if it was from fright or disgust. "You amuse me, little vixen. Very much, you amuse me. Having a little fox wag her tails around this place, all fired up, would give some sense of fun, wouldn't you say?" his voice was grating her, and she only wanted to sock him in the jaw. "Keep on dreaming. I'm not your toy, and I'm not here for anyone's entertainment. You have enough girls in this place to amuse you. I'll be going now, and even if you chain me, you can't stop me from achieving my freedom." Kitsune growled at him, slamming open the sliding door that would lead into the balcony, from where she could jump the hell away from there. "You proved you value your life even less than your parents do, so chaining you would do nothing. I have never seen a woman as fiery as you. All the ones I have are the same. Meek, soft...Afraid. Boring. They all like the same things, and hate the same things." he groaned pitifully, evidently bored out of his mind. "They hate you, don't they? You want women, but you don't bother treating them right. Can you get even more typically terrible? Pitiful and disgusting, that's what you are. You just want to break people for your entertainment. You are nothing more than a selfish megalomaniac. No wonder you are in need of entertaining, you are thoroughly boring." Kitsune's degrading words, however, didn't seem to phase the man at all - In fact - It made him laugh. Never, in this life, has he heard anything this degrading before - Everyone tried their best to appeal to his benevolent and merciful side - To at least spare their lives. He was stronger than anyone alive, so nobody dared speak up in front of him. It was obvious she had no idea who he was - All the better - He thought. "Ryomen Sukuna, missy, but you can call me your Emperor." that confident laugh was enough to drive Kitsune up the wall with anger as she stomped to his side and actually punched his jaw. It was annoying - The height difference - As he towered over her entirely, but at least she managed to reach where needed, little miss firecracker. "Piss off." the fox girl growled in anger at him...And yet...He only...Laughed. And he cupped her face, getting his own so close to hers that they could feel each other's breaths. "You. Are. Mine." his grin was so wide and sociopathic that he might as well have had his face split in two. "I will never be yours. I will never be anyone's. I'm not an object. I will not obey anyone. The second you leave me out of your sight, I will flee, and you will never see me again. And if I can't, I will find a way to kill myself. I have nothing to live for, but everything to die for." Kitsune bared her elongated canines at him, and gosh, was she enticing. "And if I get rid of the harem?" he asked, not bothering with everything she talked before. "You'll be a heartless jerk who'll destroy

the lives of so many women." she refuted just as quickly. "And if I don't fuck anyone but you?" he threw that, wanting to fluster her, but the fire in her eyes only ignited even higher. "As usual, you can only think with the wrong head, can't you? There's nothing to you but your stupid little prick. How pathetic. And you call yourself a man. Go die in the war or something." she grabbed him by the loose neck line of his kimono, only to hear him laughing condescendingly. "But darling, that just couldn't possibly happen. I am simply too strong to get killed. Everybody fears my power, why else do you think your parents were so willing to give you away? They were weak, just like you said, and every weakling needs the help of Ryomen Sukuna, Japan's own God of War." this statement made the girl's gorgeous eyes widen in shock...Only to start laughing, almost hysterically. "Oh, bow down to the self proclaimed God of War! Can you believe that! Your majesty, tone down your arrogance, it's gonna get yourself killed! I knew it, you're absolutely useless! All you can do is bark, no bite, little puppy! The only thing intimidating about you is your height, other than that, you are just a generic man who thinks he's all to powerful. How ridiculous." the fox girl couldn't stop her degrading laughing, which confused the man for a while, only to smirk and pick her up bridal style, carrying her out of that room, not letting her get out of his grasp, no matter how much she tried to wiggle or burn him. "I won't let you go until you acknowledge my infinite strength, cute, little fox. But don't think that just because I favour you, I will let you get away with all the shit you called me." his voice sounded darker, more ominously, but it didn't seem to intimidate the girl. "Not in a million years. Not even in your sweetest dreams. You're pathetic and I'll never acknowledge you as anything else but a disgusting, lecherous pig!" she yelled at his face, to which he responded by letting her roughly fall on a soft futon, then crouching by her side and gripping her face just as her mother did before. "Say that again when you'll end up screaming my name as if your life depends on it." he laughed at her before leaving her new room, which she won't leave for a while.

This annoying girl, Sukuna was intrigued by her, but at the same time, he was very tempted into strangling her or snapping her neck - Despite all that fire she lets out, he was curious if she'd end up groveling in self-pity, begging him for mercy, going back on her previous misguided and foolish courage. Wasn't it bad enough that she had no idea who HE was? He also had to endure such disrespect - And even worse - Enjoy it? That little fox bitch was ready to commit seppuku in front of everyone just to prove a point, what the hell else could be more entertaining? All the women he's had were given away by their families as tributes, and none said a word. He was a jerk to them, he fucked them, he mistreated them - Sukuna didn't give a fuck about any woman, man, child, animal...Or any living being in the world, except for himself. All were beneath him - Unworthy, weak, frail -...

And yet, they still lie to his face, trembling as they say all the fake, sweet nothings - "I love you, My Lord" the women would say, their voice shaky, jumping in fright as he'd touch them. He was a rough man, he never knew gentleness, nor mercy, no love - Through all the words spewed by the firey woman, the part where she declared he had no idea how to treat women properly - Yes, it was true, but did he care? Of course not.

Humans were all puppets with whom he could play as much as he wanted - All instruments for his entertaining in this terribly boring world, he would manipulate everyone like dolls on his strings, and when they've exhausted their means of entertaining him, the string will be cut, and the puppets will fall in an abyss of infernal fire.

For the first two weeks, Sukuna and Kitsune were literally acting like a cat chasing a mouse - And each time, the cat would surprise the mouse just as she was about to survive - He was giving her hope of success, only to pick her up by one of her many tails, or embrace her from behind, pick her up, trip her, show up from behind a tree, play with her hair as he came up from a tree behind her, and sometimes, even going as far as to mock her by pointing her the way out of the place.

But very soon, she gave up, and decided to starve herself to death by not leaving her assigned room, ignoring him entirely whenever she'd get visited by him - But that ended in the worst way possible - With her fainting and unable to wake up, and Sukuna freaking out because he didn't want his little toy to die before she got boring.

He laid next to her on the futon, holding her in his eyes, brushing her hair out of her face, playing with her vivid red hair - She truly looked like a fox in Sukuna's eyes, and he almost felt his heart warm up as he felt up the soft fur on her tails, waiting for his cursed energy to heal her up. After some time, he noticed the little red ball of fur getting smaller and smaller as she cuddled into his chest, resembling a defenseless kit searching for warmth, love and safety from its mother. She was so much smaller than him - So frail, so thin, so soft...So cute? - What was it that he was feeling? Calmness? Protectiveness?

He was furious at her for neglecting her health just so she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of toying with her - But that was also endearing, in its own, messed up way? She would go to such dramatic extremes to prove him wrong...It seemed that no matter what she did, it would still make him enjoy her company.

Whenever he'd fuck one of his harem girls, he wouldn't stay over, not even for a kiss - Hell, he didn't even know most of their names - Why should he? They were all the same to him - But he felt such a strong sense of protectiveness over he - He didn't want to strangle her to death anymore - Maybe just a bit of fun, some teasing, some startling - His hand around her supple neck as she looks up at him with her sparkling eyes, calling out his name - Sukuna, Sukuna - Pleading softly, but desperately to him for her sweet release - Sukuna, Sukuna - And he will be merciful, for once, and give her what she wants.

Just as he was caught in his own, sick fantasy, he felt the girl move and grumble, turning on her back, her small hands flying to rub her eyes awake - And he rolled over her, a playful, teasing smirk on his face as he waited for her to realise the position they were in - And yet, she was still out of it, for her eyes were half-lidded and gleaming, she was still weak from her lack of self-care, and she could only look up at him, dazed..."Sukuna...?" she mumbled in a whispery tone - What is she doing to him?! How dare she entice him so much? He wasn't supposed to be attracted to her in any way, so why...?!

"Relax, sweet-cheeks. I'm here." he spoke in a low voice, not wanting to alert her...Wait, what - "...Thanks." muttering that, she let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes again, the corners of her mouth slightly turned upright as she allowed herself to fall back asleep and rest, not caring too much that she felt a slight pressure on both of her hands, in the form of the demon man pressing his own hands to hers, intertwining their fingers together as he towered over her, watching her chest rise and fall rhythmically as she breathed, her kissable, pink lips just a tiny bit parted. He couldn't stop himself - She was too irresistible, and he was much too insatiable - And he leaned down, pressing his own lips over hers - Gently - Very gently in fact, almost as if afraid of breaking a porcelain doll, as if afraid to crush a snowdrop he just picked from a glade, one just just barely managed to get out from under the remaining, melting snow of early spring. "You'll be the death of me, cutie." he found himself saying as he licked his lips, taking in the sweetness of the kiss.

Since then on, despite not being exactly friendly with the man, the fox girl didn't hate him that much anymore. It even got well enough for them to eat in the same room, or play shogi - The girl beating him at it more often than not, which left mixed feelings in his heart - And then he showed her the musical instruments that the concubines would sometimes use whenever he'd want a banquet and more sinful indulgences. He didn't ask her to play for him, though. He realised that the more he tried to push the girl, the less likely she'll actually do anything he wants.

Even more, the more time they spent together, the more his concubines would get neglected - So much that he was completely drawn to this fox girl and all the other women were completely wiped from his head. - And he started gifting her a bunch of beautiful kimonos, only to find them in front of his room's door, rejected. She didn't want anything from him, nor did she want his favour, so she continued wearing her simple clothes.

Until...

Until one night - It was a special night, really - For the moon was full, and big, and gleaming with such a beautiful silver light that neither of them saw in the many years they've been alive. And Kitsune dressed in one of her festival yukatas and went to the lotus pond, surrounded by a few wisteria trees, as the mirror of the water reflected the celestial orb like sparkling zircons. The fox gingerly jumped in the middle of the sheen, walking on it like a spirit, only her feminine silhouette being seen, as her long hair was gently blown by the warm spring wind and her tails were dancing around her in perfect sync. As her feet moved to the sound of the melody she played on a vertical flute she was given by the owner of the place, Sukuna found himself unable to move from his place on the palace balcony, his sight fixated on the woman's form as she alternated playing the instrument and dancing with ribbon-fans.

Her moves were fluid and mystifying like those of a priestess leading a will'o'wisp to rest into kakuriyo, the land of the dead - what was he supposed to do now? He was confused and mesmerised. He's seen his fair share of beautiful women playing instruments and dancing for him - Hundreds of them, in fact - But none could match the effect this nine tailed fox girl had on him.

This continued days on end, but he never admitted to her that he was stalking her every night, nor that he was completely enchanted and under her spell, at the point of no return.

"I'm going to war tomorrow." he told her one evening as he poured himself some sake. "...Good for you. Finally, more entertaining for the most powerful man on Earth...Or something. Bring me a souvenir when you return, I guess." the girl merely shrugged her shoulders as she took the tea pot and poured herself some tea, not bothering with any reaction. "You're not worried for me, are you? What if I die tomorrow? Will you weep for me?" he leaned forward, taking her chin between his fingers. " 'Course not. You're the one who keeps boasting about how you're the most powerful man on Earth and The God of War or something. Besides - If you die, I will just steal all your money and get the hell out of this place, so I can finally see the world through my very eyes, not through inked letters on paper. I want to be free and fly. Life here is boring. I've had enough years of being home stuck, don't you think?" she snapped at him as she snatched the now empty sake up and poured herself some alcohol. "And what if I promise to take you out to see the world when I return?" he smirked at her, watching her ears perk up a bit at the proposition. "...I don't believe you." she looked away before she could reveal any real emotion in her eyes. "I promise. But you also have to promise to relax around me. You're always on the edge, even if you've been here for a whole year. I saw you play in the winter, jump to collect autumn leaves taken by the wind, pick up fruit after climbing up the trees, and make flower crowns in spring. I saw you get buried completely in snow, only one of your tails being seen, I saw you make fruit wine in autumn, send paper lanterns into the sky and bathe in the lotus ponds. We're not strangers anymore, and I've never hurt you even once. So, do we have a deal?" his hunter-like eyes carefully watched her every reaction, noticing how her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, before biting into it softly - She was nervous, that much was obvious - And Sukuna was now a pro at reading her behaviour. "...I'll try. But if you go back on your promise...I promise you, you won't wake up the next morning." she scoffed, threatening him, but it only ended up making him laugh. "The little kitten has claws, how adorable. That's fair, I'll let you have that." the man chuckled at her, petting her hair just between her ears, making her close her eyes and blush just a tiny bit. He was finally able to reach her - Not by much, but even this much was enough for him...For now.

For a whole month, Kitsune was all alone in the palace - Or so she felt, despite the numerous harem girls and the servants - All who had to obey her every order - But she refused any of that. If she wanted to eat, she would make food for herself. If she wanted to drink, she'd get some herself. If she wanted to bathe, she would prepare the bath herself - Just as she's always done. However, all this time, she was never in need of company. She couldn't handle people, nor their fakeness and many other useless emotions that would only make them vulnerable and susceptible of being used and taken for granted.

She's been through that numerous times while living with her family, and she wasn't about to let that happen again.

Thankfully, Kitsune never felt lonely, nor bored - However, she realised that she actually enjoyed Sukuna's annoying presence, and somehow, she found herself awaiting his coming back sooner.

"Master came back, vacation's over. Take care, everyone...I heard he's been injured. Can you believe it? Never thought demons can bleed." the many rumours circulated around the palace, but the fox girl only snapped at the gossipers, glaring at them to shut up. But she didn't go to greet him, like everyone else did. Instead, she waited until night to go to his room, and she found him on the ground, calmly drinking some sake.

"Ah, look at this, a little fox found its way in my humble abode. What ever could you be doing here, I wonder?" he chuckled teasingly, as she only looked down at him, giving him a slight head tilt, yet no expression on her blank face. "Are you wounded?" she muttered in a low voice, almost half-wanting not to have been heard...But she was. "Ha! So you heard those rumours too, haven't you? How ridiculous! Me? Ryomen Sukuna, the God of War, getting injured? Preposterous!" his bark-like laugh echoed through the place, but it didn't move the girl in any way. Instead, slowly crouched next to him, snatching down the already loose kimono top from his torso, letting it fall down to his chest, as her delicate fingers traced his chest, arm and back, analysing each and every fresh wound and scar alike. "I thought you could heal. Cursed energy magic or something. What you did to me when I passed out. Stupid liar. All you know how to do is to boast to everyone, but you can't even admit that you are still capable of making mistakes sometimes." her voice was obviously pissed off, but not enough to sock him in the jaw again. "Anti-regeneration magic. I didn't know something like that existed. Gimme a break." he scoffed, looking away in mild embarrassment. "Lucky you. Now don't move, or you'll really piss me off." she sneered at him as she made blue fire light up her palms and focused on healing him. It was then that she realised how good it felt to feel someone's bare skin, to feel his muscles, sore from fighting so much. He was finally beginning to look more like a man - A warrior - Not like some obnoxious, bratty, entitled casa nova. "I didn't know you could heal people. It tickles." he smirked slightly, turning his head to watch her focused face. "You don't know many things about me, Sukuna. Don't even bother trying, you'll never be able to, anyway." she scowled at him, but this time, it wasn't as aggressive as usual. "I've always loved a challenge, sugar." he chuckled boastfully, only for her to frown and look at him. "Is that all I am for you? A challenge?" she asked in a softer voice, sounding almost disappointed. "Not anymore. You've always been an enigma for me. You were fun, that's why I kept you around. If you weren't, I'd have killed you. I have no regrets about killing anyone, reason or not. But you got under my skin. I don't want to unveil the enigma behind you anymore. I just want to know you." carefully, his hands found their way on her hips, just before pulling her on his lap, only for her to stiffen up completely, her hands quickly taken off of his skin, as she quickly snapped her head away from him, her face covered by the long hair that resembled the blood he spilled on the battlefield. "Aww, are you shy, cutie~?" his seductive voice was back again, one of his hands reaching up to cup her face - But she couldn't bring herself to speak - Instead, she just gulped and jumped away from him, taking a few deep breaths before getting out of the room, and climbing up to the roof, hugging her legs to her chest, leaning her chin on her knees, her bottom lip bitten into to the point of drawing blood.

What the hell was she thinking, letting herself getting touched like that? By someone like Sukuna, nonetheless, who, if given the chance, would have his way with her, then toss her aside like he did with all the other women in his enormous harem. Her heart was beating so hard, so fast against her chest. It was a foreign feeling that scared her so much that for a long while, she couldn't help but avoid him once again, going out of her way to only leave her room when she was sure he wasn't there. It didn't always work out as she wished, but she still tried nonetheless, as succeeded for most of the time.

"Are you scared of me?" Sukuna asked the girl one night, when he found her softly shedding tears up on the roof. "...No." she offered a monotone answer. "Then why are you avoiding me again? Do you hate me?" he asked again, only for her to hang her head and hug herself. "I realised that I shouldn't be alive. All my life I've known only two emotions - Hatred and Rage - All of them masked by a facade of complete neutrality, passiveness and uncaring. But, now...I can feel my heart beating. And it hurts. I was so ready to throw away my life, and I knew I would have no regrets. I lived for nothing. I have no memories of anything good happening in my life. I thought that...I thought that maybe...I would be able to feel, staying here, with you. I wanted to feel something good, for once. What was that called...Happiness? Love? I wanted to feel those too. I guess it's too much to ask from this cruel life. The second you touched me, I started panicking and I got scared. I was afraid. Not of you, but of the idea of possibly getting hurt. I don't know how to feel, and I don't think I'll ever be able to be a proper being...But maybe...Someday...I will be able to look up at the same sky, at this very same moon, and the very same stars...And smile...And my chest won't be hurting anymore. And I won't be afraid anymore. Maybe, in the next life...Or the one after that...I will be lucky. Maybe times will change, and people won't be so cruel anymore. I'm sorry, Sukuna. I didn't end up being who and what you thought I'd be. I will forever be a disappointment to everyone I meet." she wasn't sure if her words were directed to anyone at all, or if she just found the courage to speak for the first time in her life - To acknowledge the existence of feelings altogether - But Sukuna understood her. Except for the thrill of the kill and fleeting quenched lust, he didn't feel any relief. Just like her, anger and hatred, for the entirety of his life. How different and similar the two of them really were, he realised, as he went to hug her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. "You have never disappointed me, Kitsune. You cannot disappoint me. I understand what you're feeling. It's a cruel world, and we are much crueler to everyone around us, including ourselves. If you ever think you have it in your heart to accept me, I will be waiting. Forever, if needed. And if not, I will be awaiting in the next life. Or in the next one. I won't give up on you." and saying that, he planted a kiss on her temple before leaving her alone to watch the same silver moon they've been looking up at for so long. "...Thank you." she spoke to herself after who knows how long.

And she smiled.

Every day passing, she would look at the pink haired warrior, and every day, she'd want to throw herself in his arms, but every time, she'd start shaking, and she'd turn around and leave the place. This whole ordeal continued for well over three months, until one day, the palace was attacked with burning arrows, and the whole place was lit aflame.

In the mayhem in cause, the fox girl made sure to gather all the civilians in the huge estate and lead them to safety, and by the time she was done, she rushed to search for Sukuna, the person the enemies wanted to bring down, once and for all. However, by the time she found him, the whole place was ablaze, the once blooming garden was now turned into ashes, and the Demon God of War was heavily bleeding, slouched and leaning his back against a wall.

Opposite of him, many meters away, a menacing looking enemy who had spears in his hands was ready to throw them at him...And Sukuna merely smirked, defeated, and closed his eyes, awaiting for the impact of his ultimate death.

"Sukuna...Keep your eyes closed." Kitsune's low, shaking voice called out to him, but instead of doing as he was told, his eyes snapped open, only to widen in terror seeing the girl he grew to love, impaled by numerous spears, acting as a shield for him. "K...Kitsu...Ne...?!" he managed to usher after getting over his shock. "I told you...To keep you eyes closed...Idiot." she shook her head as she curled her fingers on the wall, taking a few deep breaths, despite her legs shaking. "Idiot. Idiot. You are such an idiot." "No...You...You were supposed to run away...I told you to run away...I told you...To...Live..." his voice was desperate, trembling, not believing what he was seeing before his very eyes. "Not without you...We were supposed to...Go...together...And be happy...And look at the moon...And stars...Together..." but as she said that, she heard the air getting split by yet another set of spears that go through her tails and torso, making her lose strength and fall over the man she was shielding. With her last strength, she punched back the spears out of her body and crawled on his lap, cradling his body, wrapping it up protectively with her tails, holding tightly onto him. "I never learnt how to fight...I never had anything to protect...Until I found you. I have no regrets dying, if you live. Close your eyes, Sukuna. I...I love you." and just before all strength left her body, she cupped his face and stole a weak kiss.

She was happy. She finally found her courage to act as she wished - With her heart, not with her fears. She was finally able to expel all the bad things possessing her. She died, and yet, she was finally smiling. She regretted nothing.

She was really happy.

"...Look there, Kitsune. Look at the moon. And the stars. And we are together. In this life. And the next one...And the one after...I will find you. And I will protect you. Don't be afraid anymore...Nothing will hurt you again. Until then...Sleep well, my Princess...Wait for me...Very soon."

---------

"Don't worry, Yuji! We will find all the victims of this place and rescue them! You'll see!" the cheerful nine-tailed girl wagged her fluff left and right as she dragged her best friend to the ominous place, as their other two team mates followed soon after, both having different reactions, as usual.

As her shikigami fox and Megumi's white wolf were assigned to make sure no cursed spirit would sneak up on them, they tried to make heads or tails of the distorted reality inside the place - They knew they may be dealing with a Special-Grade monster, but to have power of such magnitude seemed...Unreal...And unsettling.

"Guys, calm down. This is the Innate Domain...Cursed energy made this foul play...But I've never seen anything like...This. We have to move fast, and not split up, or we'll get picked one by one." Kitsune gritted her teeth, feeling the fur on her tails stand up. "Where's the door?!" Megumi yelled, turning around, only for everyone to gasp, realising the way they got through completely disappeared. "Th-The door's gone?!" Yuji blinked, incredulous at what he was witnessing. "How?! We just came in through here, didn't we?!" Nobara freaked out, only to make a short, brain dead dance with Yuji. "Calm down. The dog remembers the scent of the entrance." saying that, the two fawned over the two canines as they let them lead the way, only to find three mangled corpses, one of them having a name tag - It was the name of the child of the desperate woman outside of the place, pleading to the police to rescue him.

However, a fight erupted between the two boys who couldn't decide whether they should run away or rescue the corpses, as closure for the woman outside, at least, and while Nobara yelled at them, trying to make them stop...She...Disappeared?! Through a makeshift hole in the floor that wasn't there before.

"B-But...Megumi's demon dog and my fox should have been able to sense the curse...!" Kitsune then quickly turned around, only to gasp, noticing the bloody corpses of the said shikigami protruding from the walls. "NO! CYNDER!" she whimpered, hating to see her lovely companion in such a state. "ITADORI! KITSUNE! WE HAVE TO RUN! WE'LL LOOK FOR KUJISAKI AND -" but before he could finish speaking, Kitsune's whimper, that grew louder, along with the presence of the demon she was pointing at, staring straight at her...Made both boys stop in their tracks, wide eyed and shocked...And very much afraid.

The trio was sweating bullets, trying to move, trying to get the hell away from there - But Yuji moved first, taking out his knife, slashing at the Special-Grade....Only for his hand to go flying far away...From the impact.

"Megumi, run away! Go find Nobara, I'll stay here and create a diversion! Give us a signal when you're out of here! Yuji can get Sukuna and save us!" the fox girl yelled at her brunet friend desperately as she pushed him away, but a mouth on Yuji's cheek, speaking very derogatory, pointed out he doesn't give a fuck about Yuji's body, and that he won't die, even if his vessel does. "Nope~! Even if parts of me inside you die, I've still got 18 other fragments of my soul! Still, irritatingly enough, I don't have control of this body, so go away and switch, if you want! But once you do...I'll kill that brat before the cursed spirit can! Then, I'll go for that woman. She's a lively one. I'll have fuck with her. And then...I'll claim this cute fox girl that you care so much for!" Sukuna kept talking, and it was creating a state of panic in Yuji's heart. "Don't listen to him, Yuji! I know you won't let him take over you completely! You can't hurt us!" Kitsune yelled at her friend, trying to snap him out of the trance Sukuna put him in. "No, no, no, darling, you're wrong. If he's too focused on me, his friends WILL die~!" the demon kept laughing at his vessel, until the Special Grade unleashed a full blast of pure, cursed energy. "Yuji, look out!" she jumped at him, getting him out of the blast's range. "Stop listening to him, and take care of yourself! This isn't Jujutsu, this is pure cursed energy! We have to buy Megumi and Nobara enough time to get the hell out of here! Look at this jerk, he's having fun. I'm sure we can figure something out." the fox girl gritted her teeth in anger, but before either of them could try to attack or dodge - In the blink of an eye, really - She felt herself getting picked up and slammed on the wall before her by yet another blast of cursed energy - Followed by another, that flew her on the bridge in the next room, rendering her barely conscious. "KITSUNE! KITSUNEEEE!" she heard her pink haired friend's desperate wail as he tried to shake her awake. "...Sukuna...?" she asked, her shaking hands trying to rub away the tiredness from her eyes, as she looked up at him with gleaming, half-lidded eyes.

Before he could answer, shocked that she would call him by his demon's name, and even more, his own demon shocked, hearing her say something like that, she managed to cling onto the boy enough to get herself back on her feet, turning towards the attacker, her big, fluffy tails opening like a protective fan for the boy, as she created a blast of blue spirit fire to try to counter the cursed energy blast from the enemy. It made her growl from the pain, but her mind was blank - She had no regrets - No matter what life she was living, she will only get stronger and stronger, until she succeeds and protects the ones dear to her.

But not in this lifetime.

She wasn't strong enough yet. She was nowhere near her mentor, Satoru, in power. She had no way to compete with him, nor could she protect her friends when needed.

How pathethic.

It was her last thought before the cursed energy took over her, burning away some of her skin and creating even more damage after getting slammed and breaking yet another wall. With the last bit of consciousness she was able to hold onto, she saw her pink haired friend still alive and well - By some standards, at least - And she could merely smile and fight back the darkness threatening to take over.

But...Something happened, for the boy now seemed fearless - And he even taunted with the special-grade...And then he healed his own arm, before going to her, looking down at her, shaking his head. The markings on his face...This wasn't Yuji. This was...

"Idiot." a much darker, more masculine voice came from the body of the teenage vessel as he crouched down to the girl. "You never change, no matter what life you reincarnate into, do you? But that's the charm about you, stupid fox. You never really lose your memories of the past, do you?" he gently caressed her face, feeling his heart beating a bit faster as he noticed she was smiling and leaning into his touch. "You said you'll find me...So what is there to fear?" she mused weakly, before she got picked up bridal style, allowing her to cuddle into his chest, finally allowed to rest at ease. "Let's teach this weakling a lesson and get the hell out of here. The moon is up." Sukuna chuckled as he walked up to the demon, effortlessly punching in the head, slamming it into the bridge, only to smash his foot into its head, breaking the bridge altogether. As they fell, the monster grabbed his leg, but the fox-fire burn on his hand was enough to get his to shriek in pain and let go, as Sukuna jumped on one of the falling rubbles, taunting and laughing condescendingly, as he ripped apart the monster limb from limb before impaling it into a wall, as soon as they reached the watery ground. "Honestly, I'm jealous. I could never get to your power with jujutsu alone. Satoru said this thing is 80% born talent. How disheartening." she grumbled, feeling better already. "There's nothing cursed in your heart, sugar. Let the killing to me. I promised I'll protect you, I'm not going back on my word. I'm not going to see you die again." he threw her up a bit to get a better hold on her. "Hang onto me, foxy. Let's show this sucker how we do things." seeing his infamous smirk on his face, she threw her arms around his neck, holding on tightly, seeing as he did a hand seal, calling out his Malevolent Shrine...And they were back home, dressed the same as they were so long ago...A thousand years ago...And the monster got split in 5 slices, before Sukuna dug out another one of his soul-fingers, and he started grinning even laughing even darker, realising that Yuji couldn't switch bodies again, which made villain jump out of the facility, right on top of it. "I guess...No matter what life we live, the sky is going to be forever beautiful." Kitsune sighed as soon as he let her down, but she didn't let go of him. Not this time. Fears won't take over her life anymore. "And yours is even more eternal than the moon's or the stars." he cupped her face, taking in her beauty for the first time in over a thousand years. "It's been to long. I made you wait far too long. I hope you didn't miss me too much." one of his hands found its fingers raking through her hair, and she closed her eyes a bit, taking in the warm, loving feeling that completely took over her. "I'll forgive you. You did take your bloody time...But at least you're here now. And you're not going anywhere. I won't let you." her hands slid down to the neck of his blouse, pulling him to her level, which only made him smirk smugly. "Good. That was my intention." his charming, dark voice spoke, making her heart beating faster, and feeling the hair on the back of her neck and the fluff on her tails stand up from excitement. "Won't it be weird? Being Yuji's body...?" she asked shyly, as he only chuckled, pulling the same Malevolent Shrine trick, so they finally looked as they did when they first met. "Better, sweet cheeks?" he pulled her flushed to his body, as she got on her tippy toes to get closer to his face. "Spectacular."

As the fox girl couldn't stop touching his face, raking her fingers through his hair, feeling his body closer to hers as her whole body felt hotter than ever before - It was just a kiss - His lips so sweet against her own, his arms, so strong, holding her, feeling her, loving her.

It was only them, under the gentle light of the silver moon, guarding them, as the stars softly twinkled, embellishing gold into the dark sky - Just like this love light up the darkness in their hearts.

Her tails wrapped around him instinctively, as they pulled apart, and looked each other in the eyes for the first time since they've known each other. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness, her lips were curled into a kitten-like smile, and she was glowing - It made Sukuna's heart have a pleasant arrhythmia as he saw in front of his very eyes a sight that he's been dreaming about for over a millennium - The woman that captured his heart - Happy, in his own arms, safe, and very kissable.

This feeling and image were worth waiting a thousand years.

[attllhak]

@technicallya1manband so, I just remembered that while I was camping I wrote another thing for the Gerudo Twilight AU. Specifically, I have a lot of fun with ‘The Unreliable Narrator That Is History’ (putting this like that, because I basically use it as a trope at this point), and I got bored one afternoon while hiding from the sun because it is HOT out, especially where I was. And then I thought I should probably have Twilight appear, so it kinda ended up ‘Expectation vs Reality’ by the end. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, I’m off to bed now

-------------

“You look upset,”

Zelda startled, twisting to see Urbosa standing in the doorway behind her. The Champions had only just been dubbed as such, and Zelda had wanted to get away from the celebrations.

“I’m not,” she lied, turning back to face the sky.

Urbosa sighed, and after a moment she settled down next to Zelda.

“Little bird, you do not have to lie to me,”

“I know,” she sighed, not bothering to defend herself. “I just, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. My power won’t awaken, no matter what I do, and I just, I can’t live up to the expectations everyone has set for me. My mother unlocked her power so easily, and my grandmother did too. Why is it just me that can’t do this?”

“Zelda,” Urbosa wound an arm around her shoulders and pulled the younger girl to her side. “You need to stop comparing yourself to them. You aren’t them, and your power will awaken for you when you are ready,”

“But I’ve been ready!” Zelda threw out her hands. “And it’s not that easy to just, not compare! I know you wouldn’t understand that, but I just,” she put her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to do,”

“Wouldn’t understand, eh?”

Zelda peeked up through her fingers as Urbosa leaned back on her hands. 

“Would you let me tell you a story, little bird?”

“A, story?”

“It has a moral,” Urbosa promised. “And I think you’ll like it,”

“Okay,” Zelda folded her hands in her lap. “Tell me a story,”

“This is an old story, very, very old. Almost, but not quite, as old as the gerudo ourselves. Back when Ganon took the form of a gerudo voe,”

“Seriously?” Zelda twisted to face Urbosa, eyes wide. “That is old,”

“Indeed,” Urbosa smiled. “The man that would become the monster Ganon had been king for only a few years when the Hero of that era defeated him. I won’t go into the details, as they get confusing, and this story is not about them. After he was defeated, Ganon was sentenced to death. He was not successfully killed, but that is also a tale for another time. What I wish to speak of is the aftermath,”

“Why start with Ganon when you’re talking about something after him?” Zelda huffed.

“Because, little bird, Ganon’s defeat left the gerudo without a king. I know it may not seem this way now, with how long it’s been since the gerudo had a king last, but this was the first time we were without so much as a prince. Not to mention the hatred we faced for our King’s actions,” Urbosa frowned, looking off into the distance. “The hylian crown was not kind to my people in the aftermath of Ganon’s defeat. We were chased even further out into the desert, and we struggled there for a long, long time. For almost a hundred years, we were without a king, and so we elected the first chief, to rule until a new king was born,”

“I’m so sorry,” Zelda frowned, suddenly feeling guilty.

“Do not apologize, little bird. It happened so long ago, and things have changed so much,” Urbosa pulled her in again. “Besides, the hylians also gave us our next king,”

“What?”

Both women turned to see the other Champions hovering in the doorway, though thankfully it seemed Zelda’s new knight was not among them.

“Sorry about that, highnesses,” Daruk mumbled, giving Revali a sharp look. “The King asked us to come find you, but we were kinda invested in the story,”

“I don’t mind telling you as well,” Urbosa turned to Zelda. “How about it? Can they join us?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, of course!” Zelda floundered, waving them out. “Please, take a seat,”

They filed in and sat around the two, and everyone turned back to Urbosa.

“Right, where was I?”

“A hylian king,” Revali said, looked a bit affronted on the gerudo’s behalf.

“He wasn’t hylian,” she corrected. “Well, I suppose that isn’t totally true. He definitely looked hylian, but he was gerudo. One of the girls who was alive when Ganon ruled had seen the writing on the wall and hid her daughter with the girl’s hylian father. This girl later married a hylian man herself and her daughter, it is said, moved very far away. Out into the middle of nowhere. She had a daughter herself, and this daughter had a son,”

“The King,” Zelda guessed.

“Yes, the King,” Urbosa smiled. “He didn’t know that though. His mother died when he was very young, and he did not return to the desert until he was already mostly grown. But, he did eventually return to us. I’m not sure how we knew he was our king, but there was no doubt at all by the time he was crowned. Of course, he was not in an easy spot. We were still suffering from the aftermath of Ganon’s rule, and he had very little time to prepare for his new role,” she paused to smile. “Which makes his achievements all that much more impressive,”

“You put an incompetent king on a throne vacated by the monster we’re getting ready to fight, and you expect us to believe he did well?” Revali huffed.

“No,” Urbosa said. “I expect you to believe we have never had a better ruler, either king or chief, after him,”

“What did he do?” Zelda asked while the others convinced Revali to stop squawking.

“Firstly, he repaired relations with the rest of Hyrule. Hylian - gerudo relations have only ever been better when your own mother was queen. Apparently he already knew the Queen at the time, and the two spent several days coming to an agreement that ended with all of the desert, and the highlands, being gerudo territory, so long as we remained a vassal state under Hyrule. After that, he is noted as having brought our people back to prosperity,”

“One king did all that?” Mipha asked.

“Yes,” Urbosa smiled. “At the time of Ganon’s rule, the gerudo were thieves. It was his gentle pushing that caused the change into a people of merchants. It is said that the first gerudo jeweller began her trade at the encouragement of the King. She was not the only one to have been encouraged by the King, of course. You know, the reason all gerudo chiefs have our own sand seals is because of him,”

“Really?” Zelda asked, thinking of Urbosa's own sand seal back in Gerudo Town.

“Oh yes, he loved animals,” she laughed. “It is said his pride and joy was a horse he’d raised from a foal that he never travelled outside of the desert without, and he even brought a goat with him into the desert,”

“A goat?” Zelda blanched.

“A goat,” Urbosa nodded. “One of the vai had an idea, to use the sand seals native to the desert as transportation. She decided to prove the worth of this idea, as it was still relatively unheard of for gerudo to be anything but warriors, by catching and taming one first. Once she had, she brought the animal to the King and offered it as a gift,” Urbosa smiled, shaking her head. “The King adored this idea, and loved his newest pet. He was very personally involved in the beginnings of the project, and encouraged the vai who had the idea when she suggested renting them out for people to use to cross the desert. The stories say that if the King was in gerudo town and couldn’t be found in the palace, then he’d be found with the seals,”

Zelda couldn’t help but giggle at that.

“My sword and shield are based on his, you know,”

“What?”

“Gerudo kings, before him, all fought with a pair of twin swords. However, when he arrived he already had a decent grasp of swordplay. Only he fought with a single sword and a shield. He was gifted a set at his coronation, and ever since then the leader of the gerudo fought with a sword and shield. I had mine made to look like the pictures we have of his,”

“That’s actually kind of sweet, in a way,” Zelda mused.

“What do you call him?”

“Hm?” Urbosa turned at Revali’s question.

“Don’t you gerudo give your kings fancy titles?” Revali elaborated. “What do you call this king?”

“Probably the Seal King,” Daruk suggested.

“Please!” Revali rolled his eyes.

“What do you think he’s called then?” Zelda asked.

“Well, I would have called him the Hero King,”

“What about the Merchant King?” Mipha suggested.

“Little bird?” Urbosa prompted. “Do you have a guess?”

“Um,” Zelda thought on that. “Perhaps, the Healing King? Since, he’s the one who got you back to a good point,”

“All very good guesses,” Urbosa smiled. “All wrong. We call him the Wolf King,”

“Wolf King?” More than a few of them echoed back.

“Yes,” Urbosa nodded. “Fierce and feral like a beast to enemies, but to allies, there is none more loyal or dedicated,” she sighed, looking wistfully at the now setting sun. “If given the chance to meet any individual from Hyrule’s history, I would want to meet him. To ask for his advice on matters, to let him see what he’s done for our people. I just hope that I will be able to be even half the leader he was,”

“You already are,” Zelda said softly.

Urbosa turned to her, and smiled. “Little bird, that means more to me than you know,”

(---)

“Princess?”

Zelda turned to see Chief Riju approach her where she stood on the balcony overlooking Gerudo Town.

“Oh, Chief Riju, my apologies,” Zelda dipped her head, an embarrassed pink making its way up her neck and onto her cheeks. “I didn’t, if I’m in the way,”

“You aren’t,” Chief Riju shook her head. “And please, just Riju,”

Zelda nodded, still a bit embarrassed, and the two looked out over the town together in silence for a moment.

“Rupee for your thoughts?” Riju asked.

“Just, thinking about Urbosa’s legacy,” Zelda admitted.

“Oh?”

“She told me a story once, about an old gerudo king. The Wolf King. She said she had wanted to be even half as good as he was,”

“She succeeded,” Riju told her. “At least, in my opinion,”

“No, you’re right,” Zelda shook her head, smiling. “I just hope she knows that, is all. Knows that she was able to leave a big enough positive impact that she succeeded in her goal,”

Riju set a hand on Zelda’s arm. “I do too,”

Neither girl said another word.

(---)

Zelda felt a bit like screaming, if she was completely honest.

Link, Wild, whatever he was calling himself, had gotten sucked away on some magic time travelling quest with other Heroes, and now he was introducing her to his mentor, the Hero of Twilight.

A Hero, who it turns out was also the Wolf King.

He was shorter than Zelda had pictured him, and you would never know he was the gerudo king by his appearance. He definitely looked the part of a wolf, though.

But here he was, holding out the original sword and shield that Urbosa’s were based on. There were differences, obviously, but the smith who made the Scimitar of the Seven and Daybreaker had done a very good job replicating them.

“Are we done now, Cub?” The King, Twilight, sighed.

He didn’t seem to be very invested in his role as king, which contrasted Urbosa’s description of him as ‘dedicated’. In fact, it seemed like he wanted to stop talking about it as quickly as possible.

“Almost,” Link nodded. He turned to Zelda and waved his hands at Twilight. “See? I told you I got to meet him!”

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, uh, pardon us, Your Highness,” Zelda gave him a half bow, and noted the way his face scrunched up. “It’s just, my good friend Urbosa had told me about you a long time ago. She looked up to you and your legacy, and so I’ve also, sort of, admired you. I, I never thought I’d actually get to meet you,”

Oh, Urbosa should be here, Zelda thought. She had wanted to meet him,

“Right,” he said slowly, tucking the sword and shield back in his bag. “Uh, thanks?”

“You, don’t seem very invested in your kingship,” Zelda noted.

“May I be completely honest with you, Your Highness?”

“Of course,” she firmly tamped down the excitement in her chest.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,”

“What?”

That definitely didn’t sound like the king Urbosa told her about.

“I grew up on a ranch,” he explained. “I herd goats. I barely knew what I was doing when I became the Hero. And now I find out I’m supposed to be a king? My village had a mayor, and he taught me how to wrestle gorons. Because he used to wrestle gorons. I don’t know how many kings can wrestle gorons,”

“At least one,” Link offered.

“Not helping,” Twilight shot him a halfhearted glare. He turned back to her and sighed. “Look, I’m sure there’s some reason you and Urbosa admired me, but I have no idea what that could possibly be. I’m impressed I haven’t screwed anything up too badly yet. So, it’s not that I’m not invested, I’m stuck in the position so I may as well actually try and do well, it’s just, I’m sort of riding blind here. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’d really rather not talk about it,”

“Oh,” Zelda blinked. “I, suppose that makes sense. My apologies, I’ll try to refrain from bringing it up. I hadn’t intended to make you uncomfortable,”

“You didn’t,” he sighed, and Zelda felt a bit relieved. “And, thanks. It’s just, a whole headache for me,”

“I believe I understand the feeling, Your Majesty,”

“No, stop,”

“Stop?”

“No ‘Your Majesty’. No ‘King Link’, no royal titles at all. I am Link Ordon, the goat herd,” he frowned deeply. “I will accept ‘Hero’ if you must, but I,” he sighed in what seemed like defeat. “Please, just call me Twilight,”

“Of course, Twilight,”

“Thank you,”

Zelda wasn’t sure if the fact that Urbosa’s idol had no clue what he was doing would have made her friend feel any better, but it did boost Zelda’s confidence about the monumental task in front of her.

It was just a pity she wouldn’t be able to get any tips from him.

Although, apparently Hyrule’s first king was also among Links’s travelling companions. Maybe she could ask him for advice...

[ladydimitrescuspet]

It's Not Your Fault

ao3 link! I was supposed to post this almost 4 hours ago when I posted it on ao3, but I didn't get a break at work! anyway, this is the donna x reader I said I was gonna post for like the last month! sorry if it's shitty, but I hope y'all enjoy it and tell me your thoughts if you want!

warning: minor character death i.e. angie! kinda angsty, kinda comfort!

Tag List (only fill out the form once please): @lord-dimitrescu, @alwaysgoodnight, @paint-it-periwinkle, @lightspica, @ultimatebottom69, @sexyheisenbeast, @crazy-obsessed, @squid3, @inlovewithalcinadimitrescu, @the-obscurity, @sapphicalciee, @ladydimitresculove, @solemnnova, @itsyourgirlmalise, @the-little-shadow, @marvelwomen-simp, @rachelthefanfictionwriter, @d14n4ol, @peachesandlesbians, @celina1221, ｜Anna, @Gansito83, @Followingmyheartledmetoyou, @theuslesslezbian (won't tag, idk why)

-----

“We should garden today, Don. What do you say?” You asked your girlfriend. Donna shrugged her shoulders. “Don, we have to get you out of the house some way today. And I think planting something would be a good start.” It’d only been a week since the incident.

Donna looked at you, her lip trembling. “But An-“

You frowned slightly and cut her off. “We can plant something for Angie too. Place it near where we buried her, yeah?” You offered. She nodded her head and you smiled, albeit sadly. “Good. It’s a plan. I’ll run into the village to get some more supplies, okay?”

Donna’s eyes widened a bit. “No. N-no. Don’t leave.” Donna reached out for you, burying her face in your neck.

“I’m sorry, Donna. How about we go together?” You suggested. You’d forgotten that Donna rarely liked to be in the house by herself without Angie.

You remembered the day you found Donna on the floor of the living room with Angie lying in her arms. You’d rushed over to House Beneviento as fast as you could after you’d seen how ransacked Castle Dimitrescu had been. Your mind immediately went to Donna and while you were glad that she was okay, seeing a lifeless Angie in her arms broke you. Not as much as it did Donna, but nevertheless.

You carefully made your way over the bridge that led to the house, panting slightly as you pushed the door open. “Donna?” You called out. You walked into the house slowly, noticing the black covered figure on the floor. “Donna?” You reached out for her.

“Y/N?” Donna replied softly. She sniffled as you kneeled down on the floor beside her.

You noticed that Donna was holding Angie rather than speaking through her. “Are you okay? What happened, love?”

“I’m fine, But Angie...” She said. “Th-that man, he, he kil-“ Donna cut herself off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

You noticed the pair of bloody scissors next to Donna and noticed the gash on Angie’s head. “Oh, Don, I’m so sorry. I should’ve been here, I’m sorry.” You said into her neck as you pulled her closer to you.

You frowned at the memory. It was the same day Donna had mentioned that something big was getting ready to happen. That that was why Mother Miranda had called all of the Lords to meet at the church. And Donna had told you not to worry about it, insisting that you’d be fine to go to the Castle after your trip to the village. “Go, Y/N. You have nothing to worry about. I’ll see you when you get home from the Castle.” She’d given you that reassuring smile she always does when you worry, and you trusted it. Like the foolish person you were, you trusted your heart and not your instincts.

You shouldn’t have listened to her. She practically forced you to go to the village that afternoon even after you told her you had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. And it did, something very bad did happen. A part of you felt like you should be angry with Donna, she was the reason you weren’t there. But you should’ve stood your ground that day, you should’ve stayed and maybe if you had, Angie would still be alive. It was your fault, not Donna’s, it was all your fault.

Donna shook her head. “It’s not… your fault.” You barely heard those last two words with how softly she said them.

But it is my fault. You thought to yourself. “Is there anything I can do?” You asked.

Donna nodded her head. “I need a, um, shovel.” Donna replied. “And a… a box. For Angie.”

“Okay, we can get those things.” You said. “Should have a shovel in the garden and a box in the shed out back, right?” Donna sniffled and nodded her head again. “Why don’t we… put Angie in her room and we can set up?” You suggested.

“I don-“

You cut her off. “Donna, sweetie, listen. I know this is hard, I know it is. And if I could bring Angie back, I would. I’d give my own life to bring her back. But I can’t. I can’t do that, but what I can do is be here for you. And for Angie.” You swiped at the tears that stung your eyes. “I’m tying to be strong for you, Donny, so I need you to please cooperate with me right now. This will work smoother if Angie is in a safe place while we work.”

Donna grimaced slightly and you noticed her tighten her grip on the doll. “Can we do it tomorrow?” Donna asked.

You let out a small sigh, you were a bit frustrated, but it was her decision, so you nodded your head. “We can bury Angie tomorrow, yes. But it would be a good idea to set everything up tonight so we don’t take away from her day.” You pressed a kiss to Donna’s forehead and Angie’s.

“Y/N? Love, what’s wrong?” Donna asked softly, your face in her hands as her thumbs wiped away your tears. You stared at her in confusion. “You… you started cr-crying. And then you were, um, muttering I’m sorry over and over again.” Donna explained.

You sniffled. “I was just thinking that it’s my fault that Angie’s dead. If I hadn’t gone to the village, if I had trusted myself when I had that horrible feeling that something was going to happen. I could’ve prevented it, I could’ve kept her safe. Maybe it would’ve been me instead, you know? But at least you would still have Angie. But because I didn-“

“Stop that.” Donna said, her tone firm. “It’s not your fault. It’s his fault, not yours. I told you to go to the village that day because I knew he’d come here. I couldn’t… put you in harm’s way like that. And Angie, my precious little girl, she died protecting me. I was her until I realised that I wasn’t.” Donna explained.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Do you, um, remember what I told you that night? About how a small piece is gone now that Angie is no longer with us?” Donna asked.

You held Donna in your arms as she spoke while the two of you laid in bed. “When my father, Mother Miranda bless his soul, made Angie for me, it was possible one of the greatest gifts that I’d ever gotten. When my parents died, Angie was all I had left. And now that Angie is… gone, a small piece of me is too.”

You nodded your head at her question. “Only a few people know that Angie had a piece of the Cadou within her that connected us.” Donna continued. “And she, she cut off the connection somehow. I couldn’t find her after the first attack and when I did…” Donna trailed off.

You sniffled. “I should’ve been here.” You said. “I could’ve, I could’ve prevented it, Donna. I could’ve.”

Donna shook her head. “If you’d been here, you wouldn’t have actually been here, Y/N. I would’ve been forced to put you under hallucination. It was too risky to have you anywhere near the house and I figured you’d be safe at the castle after you were done in the village.” Donna replied. “Alcina told me that one of her daughters tried to stop you from leaving, but you didn’t listen, you just ran until you got here.”

You did remember one of the daughters, Bela, calling out your name that night. Her grabbing you as you tried to run out of the Castle to get to Donna. “Did I… did I hit her, by chance?” You grimaced when Donna nodded her head. “Oh Gods, I didn’t remember that until just now. I should go apologise.”

Donna gave you a small smile. “After the trip to the village?” Donna asked. She rubbed her hand down your arm. “We should get seeds for a sweet pea flower to plant by Angie, those were her favourite." Donna said.

You nodded your head. The trip to the village for the supplies was fairly short. When you got back home, you let Donna set everything up while you apologised to Bela over the phone, promising to do something with her sometime soon.

"Bela said hi and she, um, she sends her condolences. The whole family does." You pressed a kiis to the top of Donna's head when you reached her side. "She also said that her and her sisters made something for you."

"That's sweet of them." Donna replied softly. You hummed. "I'm glad we got the potted plants and the seeds, it looks beautiful, don't you think?" Donna asked.

You nodded your head before crouching down in front of Angie's grave. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you and Donna. Rest easy, angel." You pressed a kiss to your fingers and push them lightly against the gravestone.

Donna wrapped her arms around you, leaning into your side when you stood up. "It wasn't your fault, Y/N." Donna said, pressing a chaste kiss to your shoulder.

"I know, Don, but the least I can do is apologise to her." You wrapped your arm around her waist, leading her back inside. Apologising was all you did when you visited Angie's grave. It was all you could do for her, really. It wasn't much, but it also wasn't nothing. And if it eased you to do so then Donna could accept that from you and she did.

[theartofdreaming1]

Katniss, bravely stepping inbetween Gale and Thread (and his whip) - she’s so courageous and protective, she deserves the world 😭

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 7-9 are below the cut. (Is it just me, or are my notes getting longer and longer with each and every post? I swear, this book is so meaty, we’ll soon reach the point where I have to type out the entire chapter, with my thoughts in the margins)

heart

“Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else in unthinkable.” 

I think these words are a result of Katniss being so afraid of losing Gale that she’s kinda overcompensating; their relationship has been strained these past few months and they’d just had a row, separating from each other on bad terms - and the next time she sees him, he’s been whipped so bad that he’s lost consciousness and could be potentially dying from his wounds. Of course she’s so terrified of losing him, that she’s holding on as tightly as she can to him. It’s important to keep in mind how important their relationship is to her and we see that in her preceding thoughts: What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely commited, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we’d found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting each other, watching each other’s backs, forcing each other to be brave. - Gale was the first person who was her equal, a kindred spirit, her partner. After Katniss had lost both of her parents when her father died and her mother succumbed to her depression - the people who were supposed to care for her and guide her through growing up - she was stuck with the role of sole provider and protector of her family at age eleven. She must have been so lonely all this time until she met this boy who understood what she was going through and they learned from each other and shouldered their burdens together, to take off some of the overwhelming pressure. Of course that relationship, of course Gale is important to her. But also now their relationship has become more fragile, after the Games they are in danger of growing apart - it’s got to be so terrifying to feel like the one proper, mutual relationship you’ve had seems to be slipping through your fingers. With everything that’s going on, her entire life as it is teetering on the razor’s edge (heck, the president himself has been threatening her and her family!), it’s no wonder that Katniss is craving that familiarity and safety that her relationship with Gale used to provide her with. And seeing Gale in this state just has her holding on to him more tightly than ever.

mind

Hmm, no big moment is coming to my mind right now; I think I’m always most impressed by the tiny moments that show how tenacious, resilient and fiercely kind humans can be - like Darius stepping forward to stop Gale’s cruel punishment, Leevy volunteering to tell Hazelle about Gale and promising to stay with the Hawthorne children, Madge bringing the morphling, Katniss pressing Darius’s hand in the Training Center, Twill taking Bonnie with her to flee to D13 and so on.

soul

I believe that Katniss was honestly surprised to learn that Gale had feelings for her; she had categorically shut down the idea of entering a romantic relationship for herself, so I don’t think she’d seriously consider anyone being romantically interested in her in return (that’s not how that works, of course, but I think that’s how she perceived the whole shtick). Their kiss threw her completely for a loop and if anything, she mostly saw it as something that contributed to the deterioration of their previous, easy and comfortable relationship.

Chapter 7

A mockingjay is a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. [...] They hadn’t anticipated its will to live. - In a way, the Capitol continues to make this mistake with the people living in the districts, too - underestimating their will to live (opposed to just surviving)

I look in his [Gale’s] eyes. His temper can’t quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. - Okay, we don’t know how much Katniss might be (incorrectly) presuming here, but the idea that Gale might feel betrayal because his best friend is being forced into an engagement pisses me off. It’s fine if he’s feeling jealous because she’s being paired off with Peeta when he wishes he could have a shot with her, but how in the world does this even rate as a betrayal?! A) It’s done against her will and B) Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean Katniss owes him anything when we’re talking about romantic feelings... Ugh 😒 Also, it’s quite noteworthy how insecure Katniss feels about their relationship - she’s constantly worried Gale will drop her and their friendship (waiting for Gale after the camera teams left after winning the Games: I’d begun to think that he’d given up on me in the weeks that had passed.- Ch. 2) and it doesn’t help that she’s been through that extreme, traumatic experience without him and they haven’t had much opportunity to spend a lot of time with each other (with the Victory Tour and Gale having to work so much) and when they do hang out, they don’t seem to really talk much, which doesn’t exactly help...

He [Gale] tosses the gloves on my lap. “Here. I don’t want your fiancé’s old gloves.” “He’s not my fiancé. That’s just part of the act. And these aren’t his gloves. They were Cinna’s,” I say. “Give them back, then, he says. - Gale can be so petty sometimes 🙄

While I talk, [...] [Gale] occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Captiol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. [...] Hands I trust. - Oh boy, this moment really shows how these two are at cross purposes right now - Gale’s prepping the food as you would for a toasting (romantic connotation), while Katniss is oberserving his hands, thinking how their hands used to match (not anymore!) and basically wishing herself back into the time before the Games, when things were ‘simpler’/more clearly defined (and also platonic!); there is nothing romantic from her P.O.V. - it’s all about the friendship and trust

[Gale] steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale’s neck to brace myself. He’s laughing, happy. “Hey!” I protest, but I’m laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn’t release his hold on me. “Okay, let’s run away.” [...] “You’re sure?” I say. [...] “I’m sure. I’m completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure.” - Yeah, and I’m sure you’re not going to change your opinion in the next five minutes, Gale... In his defense, Gale didn’t know all the details, so in that regard it’s totally valid that he might decide to change his mind after having more input... It’s just that Katniss specifically asks him whether he’s sure and his reply is so full of conviction (100% sure!), only for him to do a complete 180 just a couple of minutes later; Gale’s very hot and cold, which makes for such a harsh contrast when compared to Peeta’s more measured reaction later in the chapter

He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. [...] I don’t try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. “I love you.” That’s why. - Oh man, Katniss just can’t catch a break 😞 Really not wise of Gale to drop the L-bomb here (after, what? a kiss they never talked about and little else... their communication is truly abysmal and it’s really damaging to their relationship, hurting the both of them)

“Gale, I can’t think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, is how afraid I am. And there doesn’t seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don’t know.” I can see him swallowing his disappointment. “So, we’ll go. We’ll find out.” - I mean, honestly, I totally understand where Katniss is coming from - she doesn’t need a romantic interest, she needs a partner, which is why she’s been so eager to talk to her hunting partner, someone she’s used to rely on for survival and now he’s also confounding their relationship by introducing that romance-angle (as if it wasn’t bad enough that her relationship with Peeta got kind of messed up when that same angle was forced upon them prematurely)... Also, telling how Katniss thinks she’d have to be different to maybe even consider a romantic relationship with Gale - Katniss as she is right now just can’t see herself wanting to be with Gale romantically; it would require a change... I’ve got to give Gale credit for still going along with it, and trying to push past his disappointment, though

“My [Gale’s] mother is going to take some convincing.” [...] “Mine, too. I’ll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won’t survive the alternative.” “She’ll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won’t say no to you,” says Gale. - That’s interesting, I wonder what exactly Gale means by that? That Mrs. Everdeen won’t say no to Katniss because she feels guilty that Katniss had to go through the Games or because watching her daughter compete in the Games really made her realize how messed up Panem is? Or that she’s more inclined to trust Katniss’s judgement after everything that has happened?

“Haymitch will be the real challenge.” “Haymitch?” Gale abandons the chestnuts. “You’re asking him to come with us?” “I have to, Gale. I can’t leave him and Peeta because they’d-” His scowl cuts me off. “What?” “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how large our party was,” he snaps at me. - Gale doesn’t seem to have realized how close and important Peeta and Haymitch have become to Katniss... maybe because they never properly talked about this aspect of Katniss’s life (I swear, their shoddy communication must account for at least half of the damage their relationship has taken in these past few months alone)

“What if he [Peeta] decides to stay?” he [Gale] asks. I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. “Then he stays.” “You’d leave him behind?” Gale asks. “To save Prim and my mother, yes,” I answer. “I mean, no! I’ll get him to come.” “And me, would you leave me?” Gale’s expression is rock hard now. - Boy, oh boy! I think Gale knows (like Peeta) that Katniss could never leave behind the people she cares about; then, he’s kind of gauging whether Peeta has already received the Katniss Everdeen Stamp of ‘Caring’ - and, as it turns out, he has! And then Gale ends up making it into a bit of  competition by asking her whether she would leave him behind (or, alternately, her turning him down has him confused about the depth of their relationship, I dunno); not fun

“There’s an uprising in Eight?” he [Gale] says in a hushed voice. I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. - Katniss is going to be about as successful as she’d been at defusing the districts, too - But here we have another example of Katniss trying to rein in Gale’s temper because she’s afraid he’s going to get himself in trouble (like when she decided not to tell him about Snow’s visit to her house because she was worried what he’d do with that information)... It’s really not great that she feels the need to censor herself so he won’t do something dangerous... Katniss knows first-hand how badly impulsive actions and decisions can be received in the Capitol - and she never even meant for a rebellion to happen!

“And it’s my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would’ve happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe. too.” “Safe to do what?” he says in a gentler tone. “Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven’t hurt people - you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. - Katniss is taking all the responsibility upon herself again... Gale is right to point out that she was merely a catalyst, not the cause for the rebellion - the cause are the awful living conditions of the people in the districts

“Stop it! You don’t know what you’re saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they’re not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!” I say. “That’s why we have to join the fight!” he answers harshly. “No! we have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!” [...] “You leave, then, I’d never go in a million years.” [...] “What about your family?” “What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can’t run away?” - This discourse is so painful because they are both right - Katniss has seen more of the districts and how things are handled beyond the (relatively tame) confines of D12 and it’s fair that she wants to know that the people she cares about are safe from harm; Gale, of course, has a point commenting that not everyone has that opportunity and the only way to have a long-lasting, wide-spread improvement of their conditions is through rebelling against their oppressor - but that will inevitably come along with sacrifices and collateral damage and it’s easy to say that it will be worth it in the long run, but when those who are hurt/dead could end up being your loved ones, it’s definitely easier said than done

He throws Cinna’s gloves at my feet. “I changed my mind. I don’t want anything they made in the Capitol.” And he’s gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it’s mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. - Gale getting rid of Cinna’s gloves just because they are from the Capitol is a prime example of this “us vs. them” mindset that he will be (worringly) fast to adopt - of course, perceiving the opposite side as “other” will make it easier to fight against them; however, it’s all too easy to lose sight of your opponent’s humanity when you think like that (think of how Gale has a hard time understanding Katniss’s distress upon seeing her prep team being treated so terribly/inhumanely in D13); Katniss feeling upset that Gale might perceive her as a product of the Capitol instead of its victim is understandable (and isn’t that exactly what the inhabitants of D13 are going to think of Peeta in MJ?) - and yet, she is still worried Gale could get himself into trouble with his impulsivity; she’s a good bean

”Going to town?” I ask. “Yes. I’m supposed to eat dinner with my family,” he [Peeta] says. - I’m tripping over the word ‘supposed’ here - it doesn’t sound like Peeta’s looking forward to hanging out with his fam, although it can’t be that often, since they’ve been away on Victory Tour and he is living alone (maybe the end of the chapter will give us another hint why that is 😒😒)... I can’t help but wonder whether these family dinners are mainly for public perception (in that case... it really is no wonder Peeta is so good at playing the cameras - poor guy had to fool the outside world his entire life) or because they are the only chance for Peeta to hang out with any of the members of his family he might actually want to spend some time with

“Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?” Peeta takes my arm, bringing me to a stop. He doesn’t need to check my face to see if I’m serious. “Depends on why you’re asking.” President Snow wasn’t convinced by me. There’s an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out,” I say. “By ‘we’ do you mean just you and me? No. Who else would be going?” he asks. - Peeta doesn’t just blindly agree to Katniss’s proposal; he needs to know what’s going on first (he has been burnt before - no more secrets!) - and it’s a testament to how well he knows her that as soon as he’s asking whether she meant just the two of them, he corrects himself because knows that Katniss would never leave the ones she cares about behind

“What about Gale?” he says. “I don’t know. He might have other plans,” I say. Peeta shakes his head and gives me rueful smile. “I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I’ll go.” I feel a slight twinge of hope. “You will?” “Yeah. But I don’t think for a minute you will,” he says. [...] “Then you don’t know me. Be ready. It could be any time.” - Telling how Peeta immediately agrees to the plan once he gathers that Gale won’t come - he knows that Katniss cares about Gale and could never leave him behind, ergo she’d never actually leave under these circumstances - he knows her so well. Also, Katniss’s reaction is like that of a petulant child, it’s kind of funny 😄

“Katniss, hold up.” [...] “I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we better talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won’t be making things worse for everyone.” - Ultimately, Peeta would follow Katniss to the ends of the earth - doesn’t mean that he can’t throw in a sensible suggestion in there as well 😉 (Also, in the next chapter we will see how Katniss, Gale, and Peeta might be a little too inexperienced/naive to be able to form accurate expectations of what is to come - Haymitch and his generation have a little more experience in that regard)

He raises his head. “What’s that?” [...] I haven’t noticed the strange noise coming from the square. A whistling, the sound of an impact, the intake of breath from a crowd. “Come on,” Peeta says, his face suddenly hard. I don’t know why. I can’t place the sound, even guess at the situation. But it means something bad to him. - Why does my sweet boy know what a whipping sounds like, Suzanne, huh?! Care to explain that? 😭

Peeta steps up on a crate against the wall of the sweetshop and offers me a hand while he scans the square. I’m halfway up when he suddenly blocks my way. “Get down. Get out of here!” He’s whispering, but his voice is harsh with insistence. - Peeta was offering his hand to help Katniss up the crate because they are a team (and he’s a gentleman)! It’s only when he recognizes who is receiving those lashes and realizes that Katniss will lose her shit once she knows, which could make the current situation even worse, that he urges her to leave, and he is not the only one to think that: - Voices hiss. “Get out of here, girl.” “Only make it worse.” What do you want to do? Get him killed?”

Chapter 8

It’s too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively know I won’t have the power to block it. Instead I throw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I’ve flung out my arms to protext as much of his broken body as possible, so there’s nothing to deflect the lash. I take the full force of it across the left side of my face. - Katniss is so selfless; she knows that it’s either Gale getting hit again or a lash to her own face and she chooses the latter

“Hold it!” a voice barks. Haymitch appears and trips over a Peacekeeper lying on the ground. It’s Darius. [...] He’s knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale’s aid before I got here? - Haymitch sure appeared quickly - I can easily imagine Peeta taking off immediately to get him (or send someone to bring him to the square) once he knew Katniss couldn’t be stopped; but if Haymitch had been at his house in Victor’s Village, there is no way he’d have made that quickly to the square... maybe he was already at the Hob and had gotten wind of the whole situation? Also, poor Darius! Wearing a uniform/being in some sort of position of power is no guarantee you won’t get punished as soon as you show the tiniest glimpse of compassion - in a place like Panem, nobody is safe from the caprice of the people in charge

I see a flicker of recognition in the eyes of the man with the whip. [...] it wouldn’t be easy to identify me as the victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half my face swelling up. But Haymitch has been showing up on television for years, and he’d be difficult to forget. - Getting Haymitch truly was the smartest move to make (which is why I’m pretty sure it was a move on Peeta’s part - he’d know how to use reminders of ‘appearances’ to ensure a punishment wouldn’t go ‘too far’, y’know 😢). But also - Thread must have lived under a flipping rock, to not being able to recognizes Katniss (her face must have been plastered all over the place during the Victory Tour, which just had concluded recently) - or he was just too in the heat of the moment, with someone opposing him, bleugh 😒

“He [Gale] was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?” says the man. “He’s her cousin.” Peeta’s got my other arm now, but gently. “And she’s my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us.” - I love how Peeta’s just laying it down as it is; his phrasing just sounds so factual, rather than provocative (although it is, of course); he really has a way with words - Maybe we’re it. The only three people in the district who could make a stand like this. Although it’s sure to be temporary. There will be repercussions. - Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss working together as a team again! Also, a good example of the effect people with public influence can have 

One [Peacekeeper], a woman named Purnia who eats regularly at Greasy Sae’s, steps forward stiffly. “I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad.” “Is that the standard protocol here?” asks the Head Peacekeeper. “Yes, sir,” Purnia says, and several others nod in agreement. I’m sure none of them actually know because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey is for everybody to bid on the drumsticks. - It’s kinda nice to see the local Peacekeepers supporting Purnia’s claim to get this display to stop - this is the only way out of this situation where Thread’s authority is not openly challenged (and we know Thread doesn’t take well to having his authority challenged - see Darius)

There’s no stretcher, but the old woman at the clothing stall sells us the board that serves as her countertop. “Just don’t tell where you got it,” she says, packing up the rest of her goods quickly. Most of the square has emptied, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what happened, I can’t blame anyone. - It’s sad how that air of intimidation makes people want to mask their acts of compassion (and also says a lot about the precariousness of the existing living situations if that old lady is still selling that board - I’d never even consider exchanging money for that, but that’s probably my privileged situation showing here; Katniss brings up the theme of fear vs compassion - very fitting, since it seems to be her driving force (although, generally, her compassion wins out over her fear) and despite her assertion that fear appears to be getting the better of compassion we see a good amount of people reaching out to help, such as the following example:

Leevy, a girl who lives a few houses down from mine in the Seam, takes my arm. My mother kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles. “Need help getting back?” Her gray eyes are scared but determined. - The subtle suggestion here that Leevy might be further motivated to help out because Katniss’s mom helped her little brother is also an excellent example of how kindness breeds kindness

“Get some snow on that,” Haymitch orders over his shoulder. I scoop up a handful of snow and press it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. - This moment reminded me of Peeta immediately reaching for some ice from that fruit tureen after Haymitch hit him on their way to the Games in THG (Ch. 4) - their different immediate reactions to getting hit in the face could simply be due to the fact that Katniss is a little too preoccupied worrying about Gale to think about her injury, of course, but I feel like you could also interpret them as examples for how much experience Katniss and Peeta have with being hit in the face, respectively...

Gale must have gone to Cray’s house, as he’s done a hundred times, knowing Cray pays well for a wild turkey. Instead he found the new Head Peacekeeper, a man they heard someone call Romulus Thread. No one knows what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning [...] but now he’s nowhere to be found. - As I’ve already mentioned regarding Darius, inhabiting some position of power does not guarantee you any safety in Panem (there is always someone more powerful who will treat their inferiors like garbage, if they feel like it)

By the time I showed up, he [Gale]’d been lashed at least forty times. He passed out around thirty. - Jesus 😨 poor Gale!

“What about Darius?” Peeta asks.“ After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn’t do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread’s arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him,” says Bristel. - It’s so messed up how it is not enough to have someone who’d stand up and do something about a horrible situation - they have to do it the right way, or else they’re toast; there really shouldn’t have to be a smart way of doing the right thing

Snow begins, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. - (President) Snow is coming down hard on them, making it hard to see what’s up ahead

Ever so gently, she [Mrs. Everdeen] begins to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale’s back. I feel sick to the stomach, useless, the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Peeta puts me in a chair and holds a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek. - Although she’s quite squeamish, Katniss stays as Gale gets treated (the force that holds the loved ones of the hurt/dying, just like when Peeta was being treated after their Games); meanwhile, Peeta is taking care of Katniss - there is so much care + love to be found in this moment

My mother has to save the strongest [painkillers] for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. - Honestly, same; I can’t stomach seeing other people suffer without feeling overwhelmed and feeling like crying... I don’t know how professionals do it

“Just give him the medicine!” I scream at her. [...] “Take her out,” says my mother. Haymitch and Peeta literally carry me from the room while I shout obscenities at her. They pin me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stop fighting. - Oof. Poor Katniss! But yeah, it was the best call to remove her from the situation, Mrs. E. had to focus on what she was doing... Also, Haymitch and Peeta are the ones to get Katniss out of there and stay with her - these three take care of each other!

After a while, my mother comes in and treats my face. Then she holds my hand, stroking my arm, while Haymitch fills her in on what happened with Gale. “So it’s starting again?” she says. “Like before?” - Katniss’s mom has become a much more active and soothing presence in this book, I like it... Also, what does “again” mean? Does this imply there has been an attempted uprising in D12 that needed to be squashed before?

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the district. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. Had I been older when my father died, I might have been among them. - Horrifying and absolutely disgusting 🤢 Those poor women! How desperate they must have been! 

... when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. [...] “They [the peacekeepers] can’t have him,” I say. “Might be you they’re after,” Haymitch reminds me. “Or you,” I say. “Not my house,” Haymitch points out. “But I’ll get the door.” “No, I’ll get it,” says my mother quietly. - Again, Mrs. Everdeen is taking the initiative! She was so watered down in the movies

[Madge] holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. “Use these for your friend,” she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. [...] “What is that stuff?” asks Peeta. “It’s from the Capitol. It’s called morphling,” my mother answers. “I didn’t even know Madge knew Gale,” says Peeta. “We used to sell her strawberries,” I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. “She must have quite a taste for them,” says Haymitch. That’s what nettles me. It’s the implication that there’s something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don’t like it. “She’s my friend” is all I say. - I mean, Katniss could be mad because A) Gale had literally just told her he loved her a few hours ago and if there was something (reciprocated) going on between Gale and Madge, that would have been pretty shitty for both girls involved and also B) she is friends with both of them and it would be hurtful to learn that two of your closest friends had been seeing each other without telling you anything about it... also, she’s super upset over Gale getting so seriously hurt just after they’d had an argument, her feelings are all over the place

... I’m selfish. I’m a coward. I’m the kind of girl, who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn’t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. - Yes, Katniss, you knew that your life back in D12 would have been unlivable if he died - but not because you feared that people would shun you; it was because you “couldn’t lose the boy with the bread” and because “if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really”... This is an excellent example of how distorted your memories can get when you are in a bad headspace at present

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. - Katniss, you don’t have to be planning to overthrow a corrupt and cruel government to be someone of worth! You’re someone of worth just by being yourself! - The trouble is, I don’t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. - Frankly, very rarely are our motivations clearly defined by a single factor - or my professor would not have been able to teach an entire semester-long course on motivation psychology😉)

Chapter 9

Gale’s dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he’s been watching us awhile. “Go on up to bed, Katniss. I’ll look after him now,” he says. - Peeta! Must have been hard for him to see Katniss like this (and the underlying strength of Katniss and Gale’s relationship, when his relationship with Katniss is still not all that solidified), and yet he’s being such a good bean about it 😭

I give a strangled cry and wake with a start, sweating and shivering at once. Cradling my damaged cheek in my hand, I remind myself that it was not Clove but Thread who gave me this wound. I wish that Peeta were here to hold me, until I remember I’m not supposed to wish that anymore. I have chosen Gale and the rebellion, and a future with Peeta is the Capitol’s design, not mine. - Katniss, gurl... Maybe your instinctive desire to receive comfort from Peeta is trying to tell you something??!? Also, Katniss is forcing this strange dichotomous association of Gale = rebellion and Peeta = Capitol, when in just a bit, she’s clearly connecting Peeta to the rebellion as well (aside from the fact that Peeta was basically the first person to suggest to her that maybe a rebellion was necessary... just saying)

Fighting the Capitol assures their swift retaliation. I must accept that at any moment I can be arrested. [...] There might be torture. Mutliation. A bullet through the skull in the town square [...] I imagine these things and I’m terrified, but let’s face it: They’ve been lurking in the back of my brain, anyway. [...] I’m already a target. - Oh geez! Despite admitting that she’s terrified of what the Capitol is capable fo doing to her, Katniss is still pretty composed naming the possible horrors in store for her, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how many terrible things she has already had to endure.🙁

Now comes the harder part. I have to face the fact that my family and friends might share this fate. Prim. I need only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrates. It’s my job to protect her. [...] I can’t let the Capitol hurt Prim. - 😭😭😭 Katniss has reached a point where she can put her own need for survival/physical intactness aside, but the thought of something awful happening to Prim stops her short (it’s so strange to think that, in a twisted way, it wasn’t the Capitol who’d ended up inflicting the final harm upon Prim...)

And then it hit’s me. They already have. They have killed her father in those wretched mines. They have sat by as she almost starved to death. [...] She has been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve. And even that pales in comparison with Rue’s life. [...] Prim... Rue... aren’t they the very reason I have to try to fight? Because what has been done to them is so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil that there is no choice? Because no one has the right to treat them as they have been treated? Yes. This is the thing to remember when fear threatens to swallow me up. What I am about to do, whatever any of us are forced to endure, it is for them. - All these things are very true and it’s also very fitting that the main motivation for Katniss would be to ensure a better future for the children of Panem (and to avenge the evils done to the people close to her heart... while Katniss of course can see the abstract bigger picture/reason for the rebellion, she always operates best when it comes to specific people/circumstances she has a deep, personal connection with)... But also: all these things apply to you, too, Katniss! Despite your tendency to feel responsible for everything and everyone, you’re still a child that had to grow up way too fast and had to endure way too much!

We need someone to direct us and reassure us this is possible. And I don’t think I’m that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I’m barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage, and I’m still working hard at finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words, and I’m so easily tongue-tied. Words. I think of words and I think of Peeta. - Katniss’s idea of a great leader for the rebellion is Peeta - interesting, isn’t it (she could have considered Gale, but no)? She makes a good point, though: it helps when a leader has plenty of charisma, and our boy has that in spades; he’s got a good set of morals, is not above joining in on the action/risking his own neck when the need arises and is very genuine and purposeful with his words and actions, which is inspiring... I think Katniss is severely underselling how courageous she is, though

He could move a crowd to action, I bet, if he chose to. Would find the things to say. But I’m sure the idea has never crossed his mind. - Why would you assume that, Katniss? Peeta’s literally the one to suggest to you that trying to placate the district might not be the right thing to do... Peeta’s not someone who’d stir up trouble just for the sake of stirring up trouble, sure; he’s much more deliberate about doing things the ‘right’ way, but he’s not generally opposed to challenging authorities (he’s literally the one to openly gift some of your winnings to another district!)

She knows what she’s doing, my mother. I feel a pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Peeta and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen. “I’m sorry. About screaming at you yesterday.” - It’s so sweet how Katniss feels sorry for yelling at her mom and apologizes to her; their relationship really has improved so much in this book - “I’ve heard worse,” she says. “You’ve seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain.” Someone they love. [...] Of course, I love Gale. But what kind of love does she mean? What do I mean when I say I love Gale? I don’t know. I did kiss him last night, in a moment when my emotions were running so high. But i’m sure he doesn’t remember it. Does he? I hope not. - Katniss is struggling to figure out in what way she loves Gale... She definitely doesn’t want him to remember their kiss because she knows it wouldn’t be fair to give him the hope that she might be able to return his romantic feelings when she is still in the dark about her own

... and I can’t really think about kissing when I’ve got a rebellion to incite. I give my head a little shake to clear it. “Where’s Peeta?” I say. - Lol, goes on to immediately mention the guy she’s been kissing these past few weeks (see, with Peeta you could actually have both: kissing and rebellion, Katniss - he’s the perfect man, isn’t he? 😉😋)

“He went home when he heard you stirring. Didn’t want to leave his house unattended during the storm,” says my mother. - Yeah, I don’t think Peeta left because of his house; I’m pretty sure he needed some time to himself after seeing Katniss and Gale this morning - he is the type of person who needs to be alone to work through his feelings when he’s feeling upset - “Did he get back all right?” [...] “Why don’t you give him a call and check?” she says. I go into the study, a room I’ve pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow, and dial Peeta’s number. After a few rings he answers. “Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home,” I say. “Katniss. I live three houses away from you,” he says. “I know, but with the weather and all,” I say. “Well, I’m fine. Thank you for checking.” There’s a long pause. “How’s Gale?” - Aww, Katniss is worried about Peeta and gives him a call, although she hates being in the study 😊 Also, her calling him must have been at least of some reassurance to Peeta that she genuinely cares about him, in some way (though, he’s still clearly busy processing her relationship with Gale, since he’s asking about him as if he hadn’t seen that dude just a couple of minutes prior)

“Have you seen Haymitch today?” “I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built up his fire and left him some bread,” he says. “I wanted to talk to - to both of you.” I don’t dare add more, here on my phone, which is surely tapped. -  Despite everything, Peeta still made sure to look after Haymitch! And I know, there is also the issue of their houses themselves potentially being bugged, but I couldn’t help imagining how they could easily avoid the whole phone-tapping thing simply by using a tin can telephone (they do live pretty close to each other, after all) 😂

“You don’t even have a phone,” I say. “Effie had that fixed,” he [Haymitch] says. “Do you know she asked me if I’d like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better.” “Haymitch.” I can hear the pleading creeping into my voice. “Katniss.” He mimics my tone. “It won’t work.” - Okay, but Haymitch mimicking Katniss’s tone reminds me so much of when Peeta mimicked her tone towards the end of their Games, when she was trying to persuade him to climb into a tree as a lookout while he was insistent she’d show him some plants to gather; these three, I swear! 😂 On a sad note, Haymitch is talking from experience here when he’s advising Katniss not to challenge the Capitol 🥺😢

Some streets away from the square, I see a blaze flare up. None of us has to say it. That can only be the Hob going up in smoke. I think of Greasy Sae, Ripper, all my friends who make their livings there. - Katniss considers the people from the Hob her friends - honestly, even if the Hawthornes, Everdeens, Peeta and Haymitch all had agreed to leave D12, I don’t think Katniss would have been able to go through with it - she cares too much about the people in D12 to have been able to leave them to their fate

“Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare.” He [Haymitch] trudges off across the square and I look at Peeta. “What’s he want that for?” Then I realize the answer. “We can’t let him drink it. He’ll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I’ve got some white liquor put away at home.” “Me, too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business,” says Peeta. - Another instance of Katniss and Peeta being on the same wavelength, having taken precautions to help out Haymitch so he doesn’t have to go cold turkey again

We find Hazelle in her house, nursing a very sick Posy. I recognize the measles spots. “I couldn’t leave her,” she says. “I knew Gale’d be in the best possible hands.” - The second mention of someone having contracted the measles in D12 - Why the heck does the Capitol withhold measles vaccination from the people in the districts?! They’re inflicting unnecessary damage onto the very people they want to exploit... But I guess cruelty isn’t always about playing it smart and logical...

When we’re outside, I turn to Peeta. “You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob.” “I’ll go with you,” he says. “No. I’ve dragged you into enough trouble,” I tell him. “And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that’s going to fix things for me?” He smiles and takes my hand. - They are a team, they stick together (and they are constantly holding hands, always physically linked to each other)😩💕 Also, Peeta pointing out the irrationality of Katniss’s train of thought to calm her down and stay with her reminds me of how he’s going to use logical reasoning to calm her down after the jabberjays in the Quarter Quell arena

We go back to the square. I buy some cakes from Peeta’s father while they exchange small talk about the weather. No one mentions the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. The last thing I notice as we leave the square is that I do not recognize even one of the Peacekeepers’ faces. - How weird is it that Peeta and his dad just talk about the weather?! Is this supposed to illustrate how in the Mellark family they just ignored the ugliness going on in their lives *cough cough* the abuse *cough cough* and just pretended that everything was fine, on a very superficial level? Also, it makes perfect sense that the Peacekeepers have been exchanged; the more time we spend with people, the more likely we are to like them - that won’t do if you want to have a ruthless authoritarian police force in the districts

As the days pass, things go from bad to worse. The mines stay shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 is starving. The number of kids signing up for tesserae soars, but they often don’t receive their grain. Food shortages begin, and even those with money come away from stores empty-handed. [...] The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrives spoiled and defiled by rodents. - This is just so awful and despicable 😞 Life in the districts was already horrible but now the government does not even honor the extortionary rules they themselves have set up! I can’t help but wonder if the lack of food could be traced back to rebellions in the food supplying districts and, to keep this from the inhabitants of the Capitol, the reduced amount of good food was (obviously) kept for the Capitolites, so that the bad food had to be sent to the districts, anyway... It just seems like such a breach of ‘honor’/etiquette on the Capitol’s part, I dunno... Or maybe Snow was just desperate to use any means necessary to stamp out any potential rebellions in the districts that he still had some control over...

Gale goes home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I can’t help thinking that everything he sees will only strengthen his resolve to fight back. [...] Rory has signed up for tesserae, something Gale can’t even speak about - Poor, Gale! Poor Hawthornes :(

My fingers have all but decided to release the arrow when I see the object in the glove. It’s a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. But an image is clearly stamped in the center of it. It’s my mockingjay. - It is so very telling that the true symbol of the rebellion combines something symbolic of Katniss (which also contains a nod to Rue) and something symbolic of Peeta (the bread/cracker!) The people in the districts have rightfully recognized the both of them as symbol of the rebellion; they have a truer vision of the matter than the more artifically/forcefully constructed symbol of rebellion that D13 /Coin will push - we will also see that when the people in D13 will view Peeta as a traitor, while the rebels Katniss will visit in D8 instead ask her about Peeta and assure her that they know he was speaking under duress

[storiesforallfandoms]

be like daddy ~ nikki sixx;the dirt

word count: 1239

request?: yes!

“Can you do a Nikki Sixx x wife reader one-shot where it’s 1995 and they have a 3 year old daughter and they take her trick or treating for the first time and they visit Tommy, Mick, and Vince’s houses along the way?”

description: in which you dress your daughter up like her biggest hero for halloween: her daddy

pairing: nikki sixx x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

*also, just a note, i’m gonna be adding vince’s daughter, skylar, in this even though she died two months before the halloween of 1995, just because i don’t want this to be a sad imagine when vince is introduced*

Your three year old daughter, Caroline, raced down the stairs into her father’s music room. She had just finished putting on her costume and was so excited to show her dad.

“Daddy, daddy, look!” she exclaimed as she bounded into his arms.

Nikki smiled at her as he looked at her costume. She had been growing out her jet black hair, the same color as his own, for months, and you helped to pick out her outfit and paint the familiar black makeup under her eyes.

Nikki looked at her, his eyes becoming noticeably wetter. “Well, this is like looking in a mirror.”

“I’m just like you, daddy!” she announced proudly. “I even have a guitar like yours!”

“A bass, honey,” you corrected her. “Why don’t you go get it to show daddy?”

Caroline quickly raced back up to her room. Nikki approached you and wrapped his arms around you. He placed a light kiss on your lips.

“So, did she decide this costume, or did you?” he asked.

“She did,” you assured him. “She came up to me a few weeks ago and asked me to help her look just like her daddy for Halloween, but made me promise I wouldn’t tell you. I pinky swore and everything.”

“Can’t break a pinky swear,” Nikki teased before kissing your forehead.

Caroline bounded down the stairs again, this time carrying a carboard cut out of a bass that you had helped her make. Nikki smiled at his precious little girl again and picked her up in his arms. “You better be careful baby, you just might steal my spot in the band.”

With the mention of his band, Caroline’s face lit up. “Daddy, can we go see my uncles?! Please?!”

You and Nikki shared a knowing look. Caroline loved the boys, and they loved Caroline. Tommy viewed her as his own daughter, and she was best friends with Vince’s daughter, Skyler. Even Mick had a soft spot for your beautiful baby girl, not that he’d ever admit it.

“Of course you can, honey,” you told her. “Let’s go get a jacket and something for your candy and we’ll get going.”

Caroline wiggled out of Nikki’s arms and tugged on his hand, trying to get the two of you to follow her quicker. You both laughed and followed the excited little girl.

~~~~~~

Your first stop was Tommy’s place. Caroline excitedly knocked on the door. When he opened the door, Tommy immediately took the little girl in his arms.

“Hey there squirt!” he said as he lifted her from the ground in a tight hug. “Happy Halloween.”

“You’re supposed to let me say Trick or Treat, Uncle Tommy!” Caroline said.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey.” Tommy placed her on the ground again. “Go ahead.”

“Trick or treat!”

Tommy smiled as you and Nikki came up behind Caroline. “Happy Halloween, drummer.”

“Happy Halloween,” Tommy said. “Come in, I have special snacks for my favorite girl.”

The mention of treats caused Caroline to race into Tommy’s house excitedly. You smiled as you followed her inside.

Tommy brought Caroline into the kitchen and sat her up on the counter. He rummaged through a bag he had. He pulled out two full bars and a can of soda, slipping it into Caroline’s bag before you or Nikki could protest.

“Tommy, you can’t give her soda,” you told him as Caroline excitedly thanked her uncle. “She’s too young to drink soda.”

“Come on, (Y/N), you can’t tell me you were never excited to get a full chocolate bar and a can of soda on Halloween,” Tommy said. “I always said I’d be that cool when I grew up, and I have to get the best treats for my best girl.”

Tommy kissed Caroline’s head as she reached into her bag, trying to grab the chocolate bars to eat. You had to take them from her and gently remind her that she couldn’t eat her Halloween candy already.

“We’ll be calling you when she’s still bouncing off the walls at 2am,” Nikki told Tommy, playfully hitting his arm, but still hitting it hard enough to make Tommy wince in pain.

~~~~~~

Next stop was Mick. A small smile came on his face for a split second when he saw Caroline on his doorstep.

“Hey Nikki, you’ve gotten smaller,” he commented.

“It’s me, Uncle Mick!” Caroline giggled.

“What? No way, you look just like Nikki.”

“That’s cause he’s my dad!”

Mick’s smile was much more obvious as he held a finger up for Caroline to wait a moment. He went into his house and returned with a handful of candy for the little girl.

“You’re my first trick or treater, so I’ll give you a bunch of candy,” he explained. “And for mommy and daddy.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as Mick passed you both cans of beer.

“I’d invite you guys in, but my back is acting up tonight. I don’t even think I’ll be welcoming trick or treaters much tonight.”

“That’s alright, Mick. You know you can call us if you need anything,” you told him.

Mick nodded. “I know. And I hope you know you’re far too good for Nikki here.”

You chuckled and nodded. “You guys tell me that often.”

~~~~~~

Skylar Neil answered the door dressed in a fake ball gown and a fake tiara. She smiled at Caroline and immediately hugged her tightly. “You came just in time! Me and daddy were about to go trick or treating!”

“Can I go with them? Please?!” Caroline begged.

You and Nikki shared a look before Nikki said, “Of course you can, honey. But you know you have to be home by dark, okay? And make sure Uncle Vince has you home by then and he doesn’t try to keep you out late.”

“I will!” She kissed the both of you before following Skylar into the house. You and Nikki stepped into Vince’s house to wait for the singer to come down to the porch.

The familiar head of blonde hair appeared soon enough. “Hey guys! I didn’t even know you were here.”

“Skylar sort of hijacked our entrance,” Nikki admitted. “Be careful taking Caroline around, okay? And have her back before dark. And don’t feed her any of her candy yet, she’s not getting any until tomorrow morning.”

“Geez, enough rules,” Vince teased. “But I promise I’ll have her back. Skylar has to be back to Sharise’s before dark anyways.”

You and Nikki nodded and said goodbye to Vince. The ride home was silent for a while. You could tell Nikki was thinking about something. “What’s on your mind rockstar?”

“I can’t believe she wanted to be me,” Nikki said. “Did she really ask to be me for Halloween?”

You took Nikki’s hand in yours and nodded. “Yes baby, she really did. She was so excited about it, she almost let it slip so many times. She wanted to keep it a secret so she could surprise you today.”

Nikki shook his head, very obviously trying to keep his tears back again. “I just...I never thought I’d ever even have a kid, let alone that they would want to be me for Halloween.”

“She idolizes you, baby,” you reminded him. “You’re her hero.”

Nikki shook his head again. “God, I love her so much. And you. You’re both my world, I hope you guys know that.”

You nodded. “We know, baby. And you’re our world, too.”

This kinda sucks but I didn’t have any ideas for it...sorry :(

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 8*

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

I know, I wait almost 4 days and now you gotta go through this bullshit. I can already hear your cries of anguish and suffering.

I love it so much. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

That being said I promise regular chapters for the rest of the week! Okay I don't promise but I promise to do my best.

Note: Alright it's a fanfic people, alternate universes and all that. So you know what we're saying that all the Carisi sisters are younger, and Sonny was the big bro. Kay? I can't deal with all the continuity stuff.

Tag List

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@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

------------------------

Sonny was watching TV with Amanda when his phone went off. He paused the movie and answered the phone:

“Barba it’s kinda late--”

“What's wrong with your cousin?” he flatly said.

“Excuse me?” Sonny asked. “What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer the question, Carisi,” Barba insisted.

“Well it's a loaded question, Barba.” Sonny replied.

“Okay then just answer me this,” Barba sighed. “Why did I come back to my apartment to find her halfway through my once full bottle of vodka and pouting on the couch. Oh, after she had gone through all of my things of course,”

“Aw shit,” Sonny muttered under his breath. “That's kind of on me, Barba,”

“One second babe,” He muttered to Amanda, while he got up and went into his kitchen.

“Babe?” Barba asked.

“It’s just Rollins,” Sonny dismissed it.

“So you have feelings for me, but you’re fucking Rollins?” He asked in a snarky tone.

“What, are you jealous or somethin’ Barba?” Sonny smirked.

“No, don’t be stupid,” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Why is it on you?” He changed the subject.

“I should have never filled her head with doubts and suspicions and then sent her back to your place; when I should have known that you would keep a full bar in your apartment,” Sonny sighed as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Well of course I would keep a stocked bar in my apartment Sonny, I entertain people and I'm a grown man,” Rafael scoffed.

“Yeah, again it's on me,” Sonny repeated.

“Okay so what is wrong with your cousin?” Rafael asked.

“I think that pretty much answers it, don't you think?” Sonny asked in a “duh” tone.

“... I see,” Rafael glanced at his bedroom door wearily.

“Where is she now? Did you send her away? Please tell me you didn't send her away,” Sonny begged.

“No I didn't send her away, she's sleeping it off in my bedroom,” He got up and walked to his bedroom door. “I didn't want to just kick her out because she was upset. I'm not that big of a dick,” He whispered as he watched you sleep. You looked so calm and peaceful, that’s the girl he remembered.

“ You know, this should probably be better explained in person,” Sonny walked back into his living room where Amanda glanced over at him. He motioned for her to get her stuff together.

“Can I come over?”

“Yeah okay, not like I have anything else to do,'' he rolled his eyes as he shut his bedroom door and walked back to his living room.

--------------.

Sonny showed up to Rafael's apartment with a loaded head and a semi heavy conscience. He knocked on the door and Rafael let him inside.

“Okay so what kind of long story is this,” Rafael asked while he poured himself a glass of scotch. He noticed Sonny giving him a weird look.

“What? It's not like she's in here now,” he rolled his eyes.

“True,” He nodded. “Do you have beer?”

“Yes, dark or light?” Rafael made a disgusted face while he asked. He couldn't stand the taste of beer but he always had it on him just in case he had barbarians over such as Sonny.

“Shiner Bock, if you have it,” Sonny requested. Rafael nodded as he went into his ‘party fridge’ and handed him one before sitting on the couch across from him.

“Alright so where do I start?” Sonny thought out loud.

“Well I guess first of all I wanted to say I don’t wanna say I told you so, but this is exactly why I didn't want you and Y/N to get involved in the first place. It had nothing to do with my feelings for you. It’s because I know that you tend to keep relationships with guys and girls chill and casual, but Y/N is a special case and special to me,”

“Yeah.. I wish you had expressed that before,” Rafael groaned.

Well what was I supposed to say in front of her, Barba? ‘Oh hey by the way, you probably shouldn't get involved with my trainwreck of a cousin? Sonny asked defensively.

“Maybe? I don’t know…” Rafael sighed as he put his head in his hands.

“Look, Rafael,” Sonny put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not like she’s some kinda degenerate junkie,”

“Oh well, that’s great--” He started to roll his eyes.

“I’m serious Rafael!” He pounded the table.

“Okay okay, I’m sorry Sonny,” He finally used his first name, trying to be as soft with him as possible. He could see how much you meant to him, and it was really endearing. “Go ahead,”

“Alright,” Sonny sighed, ready to tell your life story. You would probably kill him later for it, but there was no hiding your...issues now, he might as well get the whole context.

“Well, first of all-- her dad died before she was born, overdose,” He began. “Then she was stuck with her junkie mother, my auntie. Who by the way at this point, nobody had heard from in years,” He took a sip of beer.

“So anyways,” He began again. “One day, she showed up at my mom’s doorstep with Y/N, and told her that she can’t take care of Y/N, or that she didn’t want to,” He sighed. “She was three years old by then, I don’t even wanna think about what happened before then,”

“Jesus…” Rafael muttered.

“I was eight years old at the time, my sisters were even younger. My mom and dad had enough on their plate with just us. So, I kinda took her under my wing,” He went on.

“We became so close, she wanted to go by “Sunny” just so she could be like me. I told her it would be confusing for the two of us, so I called her Sunshine, Sunny for short. That way if I’m calling her sunny, then obviously it’s not myself,” He chuckled. To this day, he still called you Sunshine.

“But as she grew up, she just...kinda had a rough go. She didn’t really interact with kids her own age, she was really defensive and untrusting with anybody but me. Not even my parents. And then we got the call that her mother died, and it ripped me up inside to see her body at the funeral. It was so fucked up, she was so fucked up. That’s why I-- I think something really bad happened to her when she was with her mother, Rafael. Like-- really, bad.

“Fuck..." Rafael muttered while glancing at his bedroom door. He didn't want to imagine what you had been through at such a young age. He wanted to run in his room right now and just hold you, but he kept his composure.

“So then I went off to college when she was ten years old, just about to start junior high. She begged me to stay, but I told her she had a good family and that my parents and sisters loved her as much as I did, and to stay out of trouble. But...kids are cruel. They made her harder, and harder. Without me there to be her-- I dunno, her guiding light or her-- protector, she just kinda fell into a bad crowd by the time high school rolled around,” He sighed while taking another swig of beer.

“...Right,” Rafael nodded.

“So when i came home from school my mom told me she was going to kick Sunny out. I asked her why, and she went on and on about how she had gotten in with these local girls who were like, I dunno some kinda girl gang, and they’d knock over liquor stores and then get drunk and stoned. She said she was never around anyway, unless it was to steal money out of her purse; And she just didn’t wanna deal with her anymore,”

“...But she was only fifteen at the time,” Rafael was stunned.

“Yeah, and that’s what I told her!” Sonny exclaimed. “Look Barba my mom is the salt of the earth, but like I said she had a lot on her plate and my dad wasn’t around a lot-- and she had three other daughters to watch out for,”

“Three of her OWN daughters,” Rafael clarified with a judgmental tone.

“HEY,” Sonny warned. “I know how it sounds. And maybe-- maybe you’re right, maybe that’s why she washed her hands clean of Sunny. Because she was just a by-product of her fucked up sister. But I-- I’m not gonna condemn her for it. And you sure as hell don’t get to judge her,”

“You’re right,” Rafael nodded while sipping his scotch.

“So I took Sunny in,��� Sonny finished his beer as he wrapped up his story. “I took her in while I went through the police academy. I made sure she got sober, quit hangin’ out with those girls, I got her to do well in school, hell I got her to graduate high school!”

“And…?” Rafael pressed.

“...And when I started bouncing around precincts, she was finally a productive member of society so she started living on her own. She had a few jobs, but never really going anywhere. So once I got placed here in SVU and started making better money, I started helping her out with rent and her car, as long as she promised to start going to community college. Which she agreed to because she really does wanna make something of herself,” He half smiled thinking about how far you had come and how proud he was to call you his cousin now. You were so full of life with dreams and ambitions he never saw in you as a scared little kid.

“Okay so-- how does all of this lead to what happened tonight?” Rafael leaned back and crossed his arms.

“Because she’s still an addict, Barba!” Sonny tried not to yell, but didn’t understand why Rafael was still so flippant about you.

“Just because she got her life together-- I got her life together, doesn’t mean that she just got ‘better’. She’s on a daily see-saw of sobriety. I do weekly ‘drop ins’ just to check on her. It’s gotten a lot better as time goes on, and the less and less I worry about her, but--” He took a breath and looked at the floor.

“....Deep down she’s still that little girl with all of her walls and her distrust. She doesn’t have friends, I really don’t think she’s ever had a stable ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend,’ I mean she-- she doesn’t, talk to people,” He paused before looking up and into Rafael’s eyes.

“...Which is why it has been yankin' my chain tryin’ to figure out just why in God’s name she was so-- open, to you,” He finally admitted. “She’s never been that close to anybody else but me, not in her entire life,”

“Wait,” Rafael put a finger up. “So...you haven’t actually been jealous of Y/N this whole time, you’ve been jealous of me?” He half laughed.

“I mean, it’s a little of both,” He shrugged with a small smile, able to joke about his feelings now. “But I meant what I said when I first got here, I know the main thing that Y/N needs in her life right now is stability. And you-- you are not stable, in the least,”

“Oh I’m the unstable one?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Relationship wise, yeah,” Sonny pointed out.

“....Fair point,” Rafael nodded as he finished off his scotch. He knew the longest relationship he had ever had was with the cute barista he saw every morning who knew how to make his coffee just right. And that relationship only took him five minutes a day to maintain.

“So…” Sonny knocked Rafael from his thoughts.

“So...what?” Rafael quirked an eyebrow.

“So, I think that--” Sonny took a deep breath, knowing you might hate him for this. But it was for the best, and it needed to be said.

“I think that if you care anything about her, or me for that matter, that you let me take her home, and forget about this whole weekend,”

“....I mean…” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't want to let you go. Well, he didn't want to let go of the girl he had met at Forlini's. The girl who made him laugh, who he could be his true self around, the girl he might---

“Look the bottom line here Barba is that Y/N is-- a lot of work. I should know, I’ve been taking care of her for 19 years. But I don’t mind it, because I love her more than anything else in this world. Well, her and the rest of my family. But still-- I love her,” Sonny now stood up.

“And I get that you like her, but she--- she has gotten way too serious about you way too fast, and way too hard. And this?” He gestured around the room, referring to the whole night. “This ain’t even the tip of the iceberg with her, if she’s really fallen off the wagon,”

“...God dammit,” Rafael stood up and began to pace in his living room. He thought about every single second he had spent with you since he met you; you had never seemed so...broken, as Sonny was describing you.

“What I’m saying is, unless you’re ready to-- ‘deal’ with her, and everything that comes with that, please for the love of God, just walk away now,” Sonny pleaded.

“Because she won’t listen to me if I tell her to stay away from you. And if things get too ‘real’ for you, you’re just gonna freak out or-- or get bored, and throw her away. Her self worth will drop to shit. And if that happens, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get her back from that,”

“I would never just throw her away, Carisi,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

“You can’t say that, Barba,” Sonny debated.

“And why the hell not?” Rafael narrowed his eyes.

“Because you’ve never NOT just ‘thrown away’ someone,” He chuckled. “That front door might as well be a garbage chute,”

“You son of a--” Rafael started to yell at him but Sonny cut him off.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Barba. Look me in the eyes and tell me I have no idea what I’m talking about, and I’ll leave here and let you deal with her the way you want to,” Sonny looked at him pensively. Rafael looked at him for several seconds, then softened his glare into a sad concession.

“....Take her,” He muttered softly while looking at the ground.

“Thank you,” Sonny mumbled softly as he turned to go retrieve your passed out self from the bedroom. However, he was instead met with the most unsettling sight:

You were standing in the doorway of the room, glaring at the two of them.

“...H-Hey, Sunshine--” Sonny tried to appease you with an awkward smile.

“Don’t,” You growled, stomping into the living room and began packing your bag.

“Y/N, what are you--” Rafael went to put a hand on your bag but you snatched it away before you shot fire out of your eyes into his gaze.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I misunderstand what you just said?” You barked at him with tears in your eyes. “Because I’m pretty damn sure I heard ‘take her’. You know like I’m some sort of defective Amazon package,”

“That’s not what I meant---” He softly spoke, the guilt of his words being heard by you was quickly eating him alive.

“No I know what you meant, Rafael,” You zipped your duffel shut angrily.

“I heard the whole god damn spiel. Which, by the way, thank you so much for detailing my entire little sob story, cousin,” You glared at Sonny as you started walking towards the front door, shoulder checking him.

“But neither of you have to worry about anything anymore, okay? You’re released from your ‘duties’. This trainwreck is leaving the station, so you can relax,” You looked at the both of them with pain in your eyes, tears cracking your words.

“Sunshine--” Sonny started after you.

“DON’T,” You glared at him while putting a finger up. “Don’t ever call me that again,”

“At least let me drive you home--”

“No,” You shook your head. “And you know what, cuz? I didn’t realize I was such a financial burden, so you know what? Cut me off. Because I’d rather be homeless again than take any more money from you,”

“What did I do?!” Sonny was now angry. “All I did was come over and try to protect you, that’s it!”

“I don’t need your protection!” You screamed. “This whole time...this whole time, I thought you were proud of me. That you trusted me,”

“I do trust you--”

“You don’t!” You stomped your foot while tears streamed down your face. “Y-You think that if . one single thing like a boy not liking me is gonna set me off, like I’m some kind of bomb you’ve kept from detonating for years. My life is not your responsibility anymore, Sonny! I don’t think it ever was!”

“Well who’s else was it gonna be?!”

“NOBODY’S!!!!” You finally dropped your duffel bag and kicked the wall, leaning your head against it. You were strangely quiet for a long pause before you spoke again in an eerily calm voice.

“...Do you know why my mother “dropped me off’ with your mother?”

“Because she couldn’t take care of you--”

“No I heard what you said,” You sniffled with a sad smile. “Because she didn’t want to,”

“Sunshine--”

“But leaving me with your mother, was her plan b,” You cut him off, still looking at the floor.

“What do you mean?” Sonny asked cautiously while looking at Rafael who had a terrified look in his eyes.

“She didn’t want to ‘burden’ her sister with me, but she had to when I wouldn’t die,”

“...W-What?” Rafael almost choked on the words in disbelief.

“She tried to smother me with a pillow, but I wouldn’t die. I kept screaming and crying, and I guess it touched her strand of humanity, so she stopped,” You rolled your eyes with the same sad smile.

That memory was forever imprinted in your brain. The terror of being woken up in blackness, unable to breathe. The smell of the cigarette smoke covered pillow being shoved into your throat and nostrils. Your mother crying and telling you it would be over soon, just to let go. And finally her sad, pathetic whimpers and sobs when she finally lifted the pillow from you, disappointed in herself that she couldn’t do one good thing in her life. That now she was going to have to pass you, her problem, onto her sister.

“Y/N, baby girl--” Sonny stepped towards you again.

“I wasn’t supposed to be raised by anybody, Sonny. I’m not even supposed to be alive!” You stomped your foot again while tears continued to flow.

“That’s not true!” He ran over and grabbed you in a hug. “You are not a burden,”

“Really?” You laughed sarcastically into his shoulder as you pushed him away from the hug. “You just said your mom didn’t even want to deal with me. Nobody did,”

“I did!” He argued. “I do,”

“Yeah well, maybe I’m my mother’s daughter. I don’t wanna be your burden,” You picked up the duffel and opened the door.

“Okay well you have no choice in that so you’re gonna have to let that go,” Sonny grabbed your hand before you could walk away.

“Fine,” You finally conceded with a blank expression.

“Guess I’ll just have to let a lot of things go, won’t I?” Your voice cracked as you looked at Rafael one more time with the saddest eyes.

He stared back at you with a stone cold face. He wanted so badly just to go and hold you in his arms, telling you how you didn’t deserve any of what happened to you, and that you deserved everything good and all the love in the world. But Sonny’s pleas were still in his head.

He didn’t know if he wanted the responsibility of your entire self worth and happiness, let alone your sobriety on his shoulders. He didn’t even like to get close to clients with that many issues, the pressure was too much. So instead he just stood there, trying not to show how much this was killing him, sending you away like this.

“Come on Sunshine, just-- let’s go, okay?” Sonny pleaded with you softly, pulling at your hand. You didn’t answer, you just nodded and started walking down the hallway towards the elevator, leaving Sonny at the door.

“...Thank you, Barba,” He mumbled softly, nodding at Rafael. Rafael barely nodded back before Sonny closed the door.

As soon as it was closed, Rafael dropped on his knees and began to cry. He didn’t know why exactly, was he crying because he felt horrible for all the shit you had gone through? Was he angry at himself for not being able to get over his own bullshit to actually open up and care about someone for more than a week? Was he really that big of a hypocrite, showing empathy to clients all the time but shutting out the one person he felt he might-- he couldn’t even think it. He wouldn’t let himself think it. He just composed himself and poured another scotch while turning on the TV, trying to forget what just happened.

His NETFLIX menu popped up; it asked him if he wanted to continue watching Bojack Horseman. He closed his eyes and muttered obscenities in spanish while memories of the night before flooded his brain, making him cry angry tears once more. He finally decided just to go to bed, maybe his brain would release him from torture if he could turn it off.

He wasn’t sure he could ever turn it off now.

[shelby-love]

A VERY AMATEUR PROMPT LIST

When requesting use the character’s name and the prompt number along with the category, e.g. “Jay Halstead, fluff 7″ or something like that. If you want a specific plot line too, other rules apply. You can find them here!

A/N: I always wanted to make one of these. I don’t take credit for every prompt on this list. Surprise but I’m not actually that creative with these (I’m not funny either lmaoo), maybe it’s because English isn’t my native tounge, so I don’t have the fluency, but a fair amount of these are my own. Credit to those who find their marvelous one liners here! You guys are seriously great I could never.  

"What are you doing? Come back to bed."

"(She/he/they) did it." "No, (She/he/they) did!"

"I already gave you my heart. What else do you want?"

"I think I love you."

"You make me want to be a better person."

"How can you resist this?" "Trust me, I'm trying really hard."

"Are you blushing?"

"I can't with you. Come here."

"I love seeing you smile."

"I miss you..." "I'm in the kitchen Y/N."

"My (girlfriend/boyfriend)'s just scared."

"Not so fast, love."

"You're the only good thing left in my life."

"You're stuck with me forever. How come you're not annoyed?" "Oh, I am. I just love you too much to show it."

"Keep doing that. I like it."

"Where did my scary (girlfriend/boyfriend) go?"  "You said you liked me better as a softie."

"Don't be sorry… It was kind of cute actually."

"Since when are you my (fiancée/fiancé)?"

"Your hair so soft." "It smells nice too."

"What are you doing here?!" "I'm your (girlfriend/boyfriend). I live here."

"I’m so lucky to have you by my side.”

"I can't get you out of my head."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"Can you hold me?"

"I told you to take care of yourself."

"Wow… You look beautiful."

"Hi, I'm nervous, you're cute." "I should be nervous, you're cuter."

"I'm going to marry you one day."

"I'm not leaving. Not now, not ever."

"You're safe now. I promise you."

"I hate you." "No, you hate that you love me."

"Can't you see what you're doing to me?!"

"It's my fault, right? It's always my fault."

"You're mine. Everything you do is my business!"

"I don't belong to you. I'm my own person!"

"I need to get out of here…away from you!"

"My feelings are not something you can play with!"

"I love you!" "It doesn't look like you do."

"I should've left you when I had the chance."  "Then go. Leave!"

"You changed." "We both did."

"Leave me the hell alone."

"Do you know what you just did?"

"Let me go."

"I'm dying."

"I wish I'd never met you."

"(He/She)'s dead because of you!"

"You make me sick."

"How could I be so blind?"

"You lied to me!" "You act as if you didn't."

"You only think about yourself. What about me? Huh? What about me?!"

"If you walk away, don't even think about coming back."

"I would've died for you."

"I shouldn't have expected for you to care about anyone but yourself."

"You made me a pawn in your sick game!"

"Go with him. He deserves you more than I do."

"I can forget, but I can't forgive you."

"You kept this from me for years! How dare you?!"

"(He/She) is my (son/daughter) just as much as (he/she) is yours. Take (him/her) away from me, I dare you."

"Love isn't supposed to hurt so badly."

"Go on, kill (her/him). Give me a reason for vengeance."

"You make me look like a garden gnome."

"Thanks to my amazingly high self-esteem, I feel like a slightly bruised potato next to you."

"So, I was thinking…" "Oh, no. That’s never good."

"Think of this as tryouts for hell where (Y/N/character) is the devil."

"I thought I left you in that coffin a century ago?" "Well, I got out. Surprise!"

"Oh, wow what a pleasant surprise."

"Oh no, please, by all means… Continue."

"Who doesn’t like a little murder to start their evening?"

"Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?"

"Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand."

"Well at least your mom thinks you’re (pretty/handsome)."

"Stop using your intelligence against me."

"With all due respect, I think you're wrong."

"(He/She) kicked me out! Out! How dare (he/she)?!"

"I don't know, and I don't care."

"In my defense, it looked very fluffy."

"Why do we do something illegal every time we hang out?"

"Did you kill (him/her)? You know you can tell me, right?"

"Just…don't say anything."

"Best get this over with. C'mon, grab his legs."

"Since when can you drive?"

"Just get in the damn car."

"I feel like I was hit by a car. Wait I was? And it was your car?"

"Holy hell… What did you do?!"

"Nu-huh. I fell in love with you first!"

"You know what they say – ignorance is bliss."

"I already died once. Wasn't pleasant. Don't want to do it again."

"Where is (character) when you need (him/her)?!"

"Dare I ask whose death you're plotting in your head?"

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

"Now if you don't mind… My (girlfriend/boyfriend) and I will get going."

"Are you jealous?"

"I'm really starting to question your intelligence."

"What are you doing (here)?" "What are you doing (here)?"

"I'm his wife."

"Your (son/daughter) is waiting for you. I think world domination can wait until you tuck (him/her) in."

"I didn't know where else to go."

"You remember when I said you owed me? It's time."

"I don't like forests." "You don't like anything."

"What were you doing with (him/her)?"

"Hey, don't underestimate me."

"(He/She)'s a child!"

"I'm looking for an errand (sister/brother). Show me to (her/him) before I smash your head."

"You taste better than I thought you would."

"You can't even spare me a compliment."  "I don’t know what to compliment!"

"You really need to sort out your priorities."

"No, it’s fine. I can wait until you’re done talking to (him/her/them)."

"Your nicotine addiction will be your downfall. Mark my words."

"You never cease to amaze me."

"I'm kinda annoying…hope you don't mind."

"Duck, you idiot!"

"Get that love potion away from me!"

"You can't leave me! I don't want to be their (supernatural) babysitter!"

"Okay, kids huddle up!"

"Rot in hell."

"I’ve got a wand, and I’m not afraid to use it!"

"Do you have any booze?" "No, thanks to you." "Even your secret stash?" "How do you know about my secret stash?"

"Daggering someone the moment they disagree with your barbaric ways isn't the answer."

"Jesus Christ… You don't even know how to hold a gun."

"Just run." "What do you mean run?"  "RUN!"

♔ MY NAVIGATION ♔

[weloveharrypotter]

She Chose You, Moony Pt. 13

Paring: Remus Lupin x Daughter! Reader, Fred Weasley x Reader, George Weasley x Reader (platonic)

Summary: Y/n is now in her third year and Fred is in his 4th. Over the years the two’s friendship developed into something a little more, but Y/n would rather keep it quiet when it comes to her dad. (Voldy doesn’t exist in this. He just kinda failed as a teen and died, so he won’t be a problem.)

Warnings: kinda long, cussing?, that’s about all I can remember, maybe some overprotective dadness

Y/n sat in the library studying for her classes. Well, at least she was trying, focusing wasn’t easy, and she knew it wasn’t going to get better when her best friends walked in.

Fred and George looked around and spotted Y/n and walked over. They took a seat on either side of her.

“Guys I’m trying to study.” Y/n said.

“Yeah, well, you never end up doing that do you.” Fred said laying his head down on her shoulder.

“What do you guys want?” She asked.

“Help with a prank.” George said quietly.

“Why do you need me?” She asked.

“Beacuse your an amazing pranker, and your incredibly smart and creative.” They said.

Y/n sighed and smiled and nodded.

“Alright, what can I do?” Y/n asked.

——————

Y/n finished helping the boys with their plan, and it was set in motion to happen tonight.

“Alright thank you.” George said.

“We’ll meet you tonight.” Fred added.

The two boys stood up and left together. I sighed as I opened my book back and started to think about the plan.

——————

It was now late at night, and way past curfew. Y/n was meeting Fred and George in the potions room.

They were going to prank Snape because he was a complete and under dick to his students.

Y/n arrived at the class room and peaked the door open and looked inside. The coast was clear.

She walked in and closed the door behind her. That’s when she felt someone grab her, she immediately turned around and went to punch them but they caught her first just in time.

Y/n soon calmed down when she saw Fred, and George just behind him.

“Calm down there, love.” Fred said.

Y/n sighed in relief.

“Don’t scare me like that.” I said.

“Were so sorry, now hurry.” George said.

I pulled everything out of my bag. Fred and I worked on the dungbomb and George worked on the door.

“Shit.” I said.

“What?” Fred asked.

“I forgot the lighter.” Y/n said.

“How are we gunna set the dungbomb off than?” George asked.

“I’ll be back in a second.” Y/n said before she snuck out the door.

Y/n quietly made her way back, but heard footsteps. She sped up but was grabbed and pulled away.

The person pulled them against the wall with a pillar covering them. Y/n started to struggle.

“Shhh, it’s Fred.” She heard Fred say.

She calmed down and saw from around the corner, snape walk by looking for students.

After he was gone fred let go of Y/n and she turned around to face him.

“What did I say earlier!” Y/n scolded.

“Sorry, but I wasn’t going to let you go alone.” Fred said.

“You’re annoying.” Y/n replied.

“Good, that’s my specialty.” He replied.

There was a moment of silence. The door looked at each other as the moon peered in from the window like structure next to them.

“We should-.” Fred had cut her off by leaning and kissing her. The kiss lasted a while, but eventually they pulled apart.

“That was-.” “Wicked.” Fred finished.

The pair laughed and hugged.

“Dating?” Fred asked. Y/n nodded with a chuckle

“We should get back to Fred.” Y/n spoke up.

Fred pouted.

“Aww don’t make that face, I’ll sneak you into my commons room so we can hang out tomorrow.” Y/n promised.

“Ok!” Fred said now with a big grin on his face.

——————

Fred and Y/n arrived back in Snapes room with Fred.

“Why are you two so smiley?” George asked.

“Nothing.” Y/n said.

George eyed them suspiciously. He knew something was off with them, one was his brother and the other was his best friend, he something. Was up.

That’s when it clicked. His mouth dropped and then went to a smile.

“You guys finally kisssed didn’t you?” George asked.

“Maybe.” Y/n admitted.

“Awe Freddie, you finally made move.” George said proudly.

“Shut up.” Fred said jokingly.

The trio finished the prank and snuck their way back to their dorms for the night.

——————

It was now the next day, and the twins and Y/n walked into potions.

She took her seat next to Fred and George. At the table next to them was Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

Snape walked into the room and over to Y/n.

“Y/n Lupin.” Snape said aggravated.

��Yeah?” Y/n asked.

“Do you think you clever, releasing a dungbomb in my class room after hours?” He asked.

“I don’t know what your talking about?” Y/n said acting clueless.

“It’s not hard to dicipher. You were clearly upset when I talked to Potter, yesterday.” He said with disgust.

Y/n went to defend herself but was beat to the opportunity.

“She didn’t I did.” Fred stepped in.

“Oh how very Gryffindor of you Mr. Weasley, taking the fall for you friend.” Snape said

“I’m not stupid-.” “No really it was me. Y/n and Harry of my friends and I saw they were angry so I decided to get back at you.” Fred half lied with no problem.

“Well than Mr. Weasley, detention till the last day.” Snape said before walking away.

He knew maybe the twins had something to do with it but Y/n was 100% guilty. He was determined to get her in trouble.

————————

Remus, Lily, James, and Sirius all hung out at Sirius and Remus 3 bedroom house. It was after work and they all needed a break.

They were just laughing and having fun until and owl came flying to the window.

“Who’s that from?” James asked.

Remus stood up and opened the window and grabbed the letter. The owl than flew away.

Remus looked down at the letter and sighed.

“It’s from Hogwarts.” Remus replied.

He opened it up and looked at who it was from.

“Oh it’s from one of your favorite people James.” Remus said sarcastically.

James made a confused face.

“From Severus Snape.” Remus read.

James rolled his eyes.

“What does he want?” He asked.

“Dear, Mr. Lupin. I’m writing to inform you a dungbomb was released in my room, as well as a firework door trap. Y/n was upsets with me previously and I had spotted her very, very briefly roaming about after hours the night before. Her friend Fred Weasley took the blame, however, you and I both know she was the guilty one. Please push accordingly.” Remus read.

“Dungbomb and a firework door?” Sirius asked impressed.

“Ugh, they grow up so fast.” James said wiping a fake tear away.

Remus stood frozen looking down at the letter.

“Oh common Remus don’t be angry, we did it all the time. Kids will be kids.” Sirius said putting his arm around Remus.

“She didn’t tell me she had a male friend.” Remus said.

Lily chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“She set off a dungbomb and firework inside of a classroom and your focused on her friends?” Lily asked.

“Why wouldn’t she tell me about her friends though. Like is she hiding something?” Remus asked.

“Maybe she has a crush on him.” Sirius said.

“She’s 14, what 14 year old has a crush, or thinks about dating?” Remus asked

“Me.” Sirius said

“Me.” James added.

“Me.” Lily also said.

“You.” The three of them said.

“It’s different, she’s not allow to think of that.” Remus said.

“Remus she’s a teenager. Teenagers have crushes, it’s apart of growing up. She gunna start dating soon enough.” Lily said.

“Not on my watch.” Remus said.

“Lily has a point.” James said.

“What!?” Remus asked.

“Listen I’ll kill anyone that hurts her. But she’s gotta grow up and if that means a boyfriend or two, so be it.” James said.

“No, your supposed to be on my side.” Remus said.

“Calm down, Remus, she’ll be fine.” Sirius said patting him on the back.

——————-

Harry and Y/n had just gotten back from Hogwarts for their summer vacation.

Harry and Y/n sat in the living room catching up with their parents and uncles.

However, Remus was pretty quiet.

“You ok dad?” Y/n asked.

“Snape sent me a letter telling me about what happened with your prank.” Remus said.

Y/n cringed thinking she was about to get in trouble.

“Who’s Fred Weasley?” He asked.

In that moment Y/n froze and wished he’d just yell at her.

“He’s one of the Weasley twins, hes the older brother of Harry’s friend Ron. He’s my friend.” Y/n answered shyly.

“Why have you not mentioned them before?” He asked.

“Thought I did.” Y/n answered.

“You’re lying you know you haven’t.” Remus said.

“Im just gunna head to my room.” Y/n said as she got up.

“What no, I’m not done.” Remus said.

“Leave her be.” Lily said as Y/n snuck off.

Y/n walked in and sat on her bed drawing in a sketch book her dad bought her.

The door open and she expect to see her father but was instead greeted by Harry.

“Hey.” Y/n said.

“Hey.” Harry said walking in and closing the door.

Once he closed the door he jumped on her bed.

“So, you and Fred have been getting close.” Harry started.

Y/n rolled her eyes. Harry chuckled.

“Common don’t think I, Harry Potter, someone who’s practically your brother, wouldn’t notice. Or Ron. You’re our siblings we can see it.” Harry said.

“But we’re still wondering, if it’s actually happening?” Harry asked.

“Shut up.” Y/n replied.

“I’m not gunna tell Uncle Remus obviously.” Harry said.

Y/n sighed and though about it for a moment.

“Fine.” She said.

She leaned over and whispered what happened.

“Finally! Ron, Hermione and I have been waiting ages.” Harry said.

“Shhh.” Y/n shushed.

“I’m happy for you. But I’ll have to kill him if he hurts you.” He said.

“I know. And he won’t.” Y/n assured.

——————

Remus finally had enough and went to his daughters room and leaned his head against it.

Every word that was said was muffled and he couldn’t tell what it was.

He managed to make out a few words but he was pulled away.

“Remus!” Lily scolded.

“What?” He asked innocently.

“Give them privacy.” She said.

“Yeah Remus!” James shouted from the kitchen.

“Shut up!” Lily yelled back.

“What if they’re talking about Fred?” He asked.

“Than you let them talk about him in private, now let’s go.” She said pulling him away.

Remus sighed and followed Lily to the kitchen. He may not know now but he’s determined to know all about Fred and Y/n’s relationship.

——————

Thanks for reading y’all. I hope you enjoyed Bc I wrote this at school and got in trouble for being on my phone a lot. 🥴🥴 Anyway have an amazing day. ❤️❤️

[writing-fanics]

[ Mamrou x Fem!Reader ]

[ part nine ] 

[ ugh sorry my lazy ass it too lazy to write usagi and y/n getting a new upgrade they still get it, and i'm lay to write about the moonlight knight I had alot of history work today. so i'll mention the upgrade but the next chapter is babysitting then after is the makai tree. ] 

i'm adding future flashes but with the kids only and, a mention of saphir,.also sorry if saphir is ooc 

also Sejiro aka Ail also will develop a crush on y/n even though he likes usagi..

[Y/n] smiles, as she looks at Mamoru telling him the story. He's been asking about it for the past few days and, finally she decided to tell him the story. She has a little bit of hope, that maybe by telling him the story that he might remember. But if it doesn't work then, she'll just have to work for his love. And, hope that he falls in love with her. 

'Long ago, on the moon was a castle a big and beautiful one. And in this castle lived, the queen and her two daughters.' 

'And, the two princess were sisters, twins. Serenity and Y/n'

'The two princesses were protected, by the Sailor Guardians. Who had powers of their home planets.'

'But as you know; no one knew of the princess Y/n. And only of Serenity. Leaving, Y/n. Forgotten.'

'But... She wasn’t forgotten, for one day when visiting Earth for which she was fascinated with. Ran into him. Eventually leading to two them falling in love.' 

'The two would secretly meet, each-other when they could. It was a true story of Romeo and Juliet between royals.'

'Eventually, Serenity. Y/n's sister found out about the secret meetings and, told the Guardians. Even after she promised not to tell anyone she was worried about her sister.''

'Who was doing something, so dangerous like going to Earth. But of course, the Princess didn’t care she wanted to be with the one she loved. He proposed to her, giving her a ring that was so beautiful. They even talked about their future with a little prince or princess, talking about the moon and earth kingdom becoming one.' 

'But, not all good things last. The Dark Kingdom attacked, the Senshi where killed, and many of its people too.'

“And, sadly the Prince Endymion died protecting Y/n. Causing her to be grief stricken, taking her own life to be with the one she loves. The grief of losing her lover and, the father of her unborn child that she had found out about that day.' 

'The Moon Kingdom, was over the Dark Kingdom destroying it. Leaving no one alive, expect the Queen. She gave her life, to send everyone to Earth. And to be reincarnated, into Present Day.' 

[Y/n] looks at Mamoru and, he looks at her in shock. "Wow, I like it. That story was amazing." He says and, [Y/n] looks down. She felt as if she wanted to cry, not even the story worked. 

'It's you! You're Endymion you're Mamoru Chiba! The love of my life!' she shouts in her head. 

"A-and, I believe in the story. I think it's really..You can laugh at me if you want I wouldn't mind." She says and, Mamoru shakes his head and, places his hand on hers causing her to blush. As she looks at him, she smiles at him. They look at each other, 

"Mamoru.." She says, looking at him. She wanted so bad too tell him how she felt and, yet she was so scared of him telling him.

"Mamoru!" Natsumi shouted, sitting down at the table next to Mamoru. [Y/n] pulled their hands away from each other, they both look at Natsumi. Who had her arms wrapped around Mamoru's arm, 

"O-oh hi Natsumi.. U-um Mam-.." [Y/n] says, looking at her and, she looked at Mamoru not paying any attention to [Y/n]. 

"So~ Mamoru are you and Y/n on a date?" Natsumi asks and, [Y/n] and Mamoru look at each other blushing, it wasn't a date. Natsumi snuggles her head into Mamoru's arm, causing [Y/n] to sigh. She looks down and, plays with her fingers. 

"Actually, Natsumi Y/n and I, were in the middle of a conversation." He says, looking down at her but she obviously doesn't care. [Y/n] huffed sadly, looking up. 

"Oh, what were you two talking about." She asks, looking at the two. [Y/n] looks at her and, sighs. 

"A story, my mother would tell me when I was little." [Y/n] says, looking at her. Natsumi wasn't even listening looking at Mamoru, her arm still wrapped around his. [Y/n] sighs and, stands. 

She looks at both Mamoru and, Natsumi. "U-Um, I should probably get going.." [Y/n] says, them looking at them. She didn't know why she was feeling jealous, but you can't just come up to someone's table even if you know them and, just sit down. It's rude. 

She begins walking towards the door, "Wait.. Y/n.." He says, causing her to turn around to look at him she smiles as the two leave the cafe. Leaving Natsumi there of course jealous and, angry. Mamoru still had more questions about the story, 

"How did the Endymion and Y/n fall in love?" He asks and, [Y/n] smiles at him. She chuckles softly,

"Well, the princess was the one who actually fell in love with him first. She would secretly go to Earth, just to catch a glimpse of him. And, eventually he noticed her. And, it was as if they were meant to be." She says, looking up at him. 

As the two smile at each other, she looks down at the ground. 

'Say something you idiot!' 

'Tell him how you feel!'

'Just tell him! ASK HIM OUT!' 

[Y/n]'s thoughts, were screaming at her and, she looked up at Mamoru. A blush spread across her cheeks, "A-Ah, Mamoru. I-I was wondering.. U-um.." She says, blushing she looks down at the ground. 

'Ugh! Just say it!'

"U-Um so there's this Virtual Reality Theater.. A-and I was wondering if y-you wanted to go with me?" She asks, him blushing. Looking down embarrassed, 

"Sure." He says and, her eyes seemed to light up. A smile spread across her face as she looks up at him, he smiles down at her and, she giggles. Wrapping her arm around his arm, he looks down at her as the two walk.

Elara giggles, as she looks at the flowers and, bends down to smell the flowers. She smiles, smelling the white roses. She gasps, as she looks up and, sees someone looking at her. She turns towards them, smiling at him. 

"Hello." She says, looking at him. He looks at her at her in shock he was hiding, behind a corner. He looked at her holding a flower. 

She smiles at him and, looks down at the flower. And, back at him she chuckles. Slowly walking towards him, handing him the flower. 

"Here you go." She says, smiling he looks at her and, blushes. Taking the flower from her hands; holding it. She giggles at him, 

"My name is, Princess Elara Selene L/n." She says, to him curtsying. Her black hair fell in front of her face, she gasps. And, quickly fixes her hair. And, looks back up at him and, smiles. 

"My name is, Saphir." He says, she smiles at him and, he looks at her a blush spreads across his face. She chuckles, 

"It's a pleasure to meet you Saphir." She says, looking at him and, he smiles at her. He looks down at the flower, she smiles and, runs to get more flowers for him. She hands them to him, he looks at her in shock. 

"T-Thank you.." He says, looking down at the flowers and, she giggles. He looks at her nervously he didn't know why he was blushing at all. He didn't know her at all, he wasn't even supposed to be here. But he wanted to see the flowers and, here was a girl a princess handing him flowers. 

She takes his hands, "Come with me, I know where more flowers are." She says, running from the rose gardens his hands, in her own. He follows her holding her hand. She then shows them a beautiful flower garden with different kinds of flowers. 

Saphir eyes widened, she looks up at him. "I-It's beautiful." He says, he intertwined his fingers with her and, she giggles. They begin to walk towards the flower bushes, she shows him the flowers. 

"They're so beautiful." He says, smelling the flowers holding his new friends hand. She giggles at him, she picks a flower and, places it over his ear. 

"Yes, they're beautiful." She says, looking into his eyes. Blushing as she stares into them. He picks a flower and, places it over her ear as well. Causing both of them to laugh.  

[ Time-Skip ] 

Elara smiled, as she intertwined her fingers with Saphir. She sits on the ground making, flower crowns. She has many different kinds on the ground, as she shows him how to make them. He holds it up and, places it on his head. And, it falls apart. He groans and, throws the flower crown on the ground. 

She looks at him and, places her finished flower crown on his head. "There." She says, kissing him on the cheek a blush spread across both of their cheeks. 

He places his hand on his cheek and, blushes. She smiles at him, 

"You know, this is kinda like my mom and dad, they'd meet in secret." She says, to him blushing. Saphir places his hand on hers, she looks up at him. 

"In their past lives." She says, smiling at him. She intertwines her fingers with his. The two have only known each other for a few years meeting in secret and, already falling in love. Saphir looks at her and, the two lean into one another. Closing the gap between them, sharing a kiss. 

'it's like the story mom and dad told me about, them in their past lives.' 

Elara places her hand on his chest, his hands on her shoulders as the two share a kiss. She didn't want this moment between them to stop, 

"Elara!" Celeste shouted, causing both Saphir and Elara to pull apart, she gasps. As she shoves him behind a flower bush, he groans in pain. And, she quiets him.

"Yes, Celeste." Elara shouted, seeing her sister. Who had [h/c] hair and, [e/c] eyes. She acts like nothing happened, 

"What on earth are you doing?" Celeste asks, looking at her sister. 

"Nothing dear sister, just making flower crowns like always." Elara says, looking at her sister nervously. 

"Alright, but mother needs you now so hurry." Celeste says, turning away from the garden. Elara nods and, waits for her sister to get further away. She smiles when she is and, goes back towards Saphir. 

"Sorry." She says, to Saphir who looks at her. She pulls him up and, the two stare into each others eyes. As she pulls him up, the two share a kiss. She cups his face in her hands and, he places her hands on his shoulder. She pulls back and, snuggles her head into his chest. 

"I love you, Saphir." She says, to him. He wraps his arms around her, "I must go." She says, to him she looks up at him. And kisses his nose, he chuckles as he caresses her cheek. She smiles at him and, kisses him on the cheek. 

"I hope to see you again, Saphir." She says, smiling as she leaves the garden. A blush spread across her face, Saphir smiles at her. He watches as she leaves and, heads back to his home planet Nemesis. He looks down sadly, 

[Y/n] was holding Mamoru's hand, as they walked towards the Virtual Reality Theater. [Y/n] had a smile on her face, they were both so excited for this. "This is going to be so much fun!" She shouts, giggling. The two arrive and, see the long line. 

She looks at it and, shrugs. "Well, It's going to be worth the wait I can tell." She says, as the two get into line. [Y/n] looks over and, sees Usagi. Who was holding Luna, 

"Usagi!" She shouted, waving her arms in the air when she sees her. 

"Oh, Y/n hi!" Usagi shouted, seeing both [Y/n] and Mamoru.

"Oh, well isn't it little miss bun-head." Mamoru says, looking at Usagi who growls, in annoyance. 

"Hey! I have a name you know." She says, folding her arms. 

"Yes, I know and it's bun-head." He says, causing [Y/n] to stifle a laugh. [Y/n] gentle elbows Mamoru and, looks up at him.

"Come on, be nice." [Y/n] says, to him. Usagi then notices both [Y/n] and Mamoru holding hands, she looks up at them. She whispers into [Y/n]'s ear, 

'So does he have his memories back?' Usagi asks.

'No.' [Y/n] whispers to her.

'I'm just going to try to get back to where we were before.' 

"Why're are you two whispering?" Mamoru asks, causing [Y/n] and Usagi, to look up at him. And, for [Y/n] to just pat Usagi on the head like nothing was happening, 

"Oh, nothing just Bun-head asking for my mother's secret bun recipe." [Y/n] says, laughing and, Usagi looks at her in shock. 

"Not you too Y/n!" Usagi says, with a pouty face. 

"What do you think you're doing? I have no intention of going in there with you. You are not my date!" Natsumi shouts, at the creep in front of her who had a red hand mark on his cheek. From the slap she gave him just moments ago. 

"Yeah? You should be so lucky!" The creep says, turning to look at her. 

"Quit trying to pick up girls who don't want to go out with you." Mamoru says, looking at the creep. 

"It's really pitiful." He says. 

"What did you say to me?" The creep says, walking towards Mamoru and, getting up close into his face. The creep just grunts and, begins to walk away. But turns around, 

"Ahh! you have stupid-pants.!" The creep shouts, running away. Natsumi turns towards Mamoru, 

"Mamoru!" She shouts, hugging Mamoru. 

"I owe you such a big debt of gratitude! You really came to my rescue! And as my way of saying thank you, I'll be your date today!" She says, looking up at him. 

"Huh?" Mamoru says, looking down at her. He pulls away, 

"Actually, I'm already here with Y/n." He says, looking towards [Y/n] who was standing next to Usagi. 

"But, why don't you go with me instead. And, she can go with Usagi." She says, looking up at him, wrapping her arm around his arm. 

"Y/n already asked me. And, I said yes." He says, pulling away. 

"Natsumi, maybe you can go with Usagi." [Y/n] says, looking at her taking Mamoru's hand. Natsumi wraps her arms around Mamoru's arm, 

"Natsumi? What is going on here?" Seijiro says, his arms folded. Natsumi giggles and, pulls away. 

"Meet my brother, guys." Natsumi says and, [Y/n] looks over at him and, smiles. 

"Hello, my name is Y/n." She says, looking at him. And, he looks at her in awe. Usagi looks at Seijiro with hearts for eyes, 

"Hello, Y/n." He says, looking at her. 

"I don't believe you know Mamoru Chiba, though." Natsumi says, to him. 

"He really would like to come to join us for this event." She says, looking at Seijiro. 

"Mamoru and I are actually going together so," [Y/n] says, and Natsumi wraps her arms around Mamoru's arm. 

"I'm gonna join you two." Natsumi says and, [Y/n] sighs, 

"Y-You can't just invite yourself." [Y/n] says, to her wrapping her arm around Mamoru's arm. But Natsumi just seemed to be in her own little world and, didn't seem to care. 

"Come on, let's go in." Natsumi says and, [Y/n] just wanted to just tell her off. 

'YOU CAN"T JUST INVITE YOURSELF MAMORU AND I ARE ON A DATE GO AWAY GO IN WITH YOUR BROTHER PLEASE. JUST LET THIS BE ME AND MAMORU!!!!'

[Y/n] shouted in her head, as Natsumi had her arms wrapped around Mamoru's arm. 

"This was not what I had in mind." [Y/n] says quietly, looking down. Was it so hard to ask to have it be just her and, Mamoru. 

[ _ Time Skip _ ] 

[Y/n], Mamoru and, Natsumi. Were sitting on a platform in front of a giant screen, Natsumi had her head snuggled into Mamoru's arm. He had a confused look on his face, he was maybe a bit annoyed at this. Since he too only wanted it to be, him and [Y/n]. But of course Natsumi had to invite herself. Even though she was technically told no a few times. 

But [Y/n] and Mamoru, tried their best to enjoy it. Even with the unwanted guest tagging along clinging onto his as if for dear life, [Y/n] raised the laser gun and, shot at the monsters in the capsules. [Y/n] was completely in the zone as she shot, many of them. 

Natsumi let out an excited giggle, as she shot the monster. "I shot the monster!" She shouted, wrapping her arms around Mamoru's and, Seijiro's. [Y/n] grunts at this, and gasps when she sees Usagi's dad. 

"Um, isn't that?" [Y/n] says, and Usagi looks up at shouts. 

"Dad!!" She shouts, and he vanishes from behind the corner. 

"I asked him out for nothing..." [Y/n] says quietly, looking down at the ground. Usagi patted her back, 

"Don't let it get too you.. I'm sure Mamoru is as confused as you are, I can tell he really wanted it to be just you and  him. " Usagi says and, [Y/n] looks at her. 

"Really?" [Y/n] ask, and Usagi nods. [Y/n] then gasps, as she sees both Mamoru and, Seijiro having a little pretend shoot out with the monster in the capsules. 

"Awesome!" Usagi shouted, and [Y/n] has a smile on her face. [Y/n] runs towards Mamoru once it was over and, smiled at him. 

"That was so cool!" [Y/n] says, looking up at him. And, Mamoru blushes. Natsumi runs over shoving [Y/n] out of the way, causing her to fall to the ground. 

"Oh, this is so nice. I'd love to stay like this a little longer." Natsumi says, wrapping her arms around her. 

"Not gonna happen. Now go on." Mamoru says, pulling her away. And, helping [Y/n] up who smiles at him. He turns towards Natsumi, 

"You can't make people like you by forcing yourself upon them every chance you get." He says, to her and, Usagi pats him on the shoulder. 

"Well said. Good or you Mamoru." Usagi says, as a monster appears in the capsule behind her, causing her to turn around and, see it. She screams and, runs away. 

"Come back Bun-Head! You're gonna get lost in that maze!" He shouts, and, both Mamoru and [Y/n] run after her. 

"UsagI!" [Y/n] shouts, after her with Mamoru. Who takes her hand, causing her to smile at him. 

[ Time - Skip ] cause i'm lazy..

Mamoru had gone to help, Shingo save his dad from a monster. Leaving both [Y/n] and, Usagi there. 

'Moon Prism Power Make-Up!' 

'Lunar Prism Power Make-Up!' 

The girls transform and, follow where the boys went. The make their way and, see the monster. And Ail and An, 

"Hello Sailor Moon and Sailor Luna." Ail says, looking at her. 

"How dear you bully those who are dearest to me. I will not accept any of your apologies." Sailor Luna shouts, at him. 

"I am the Pretty Guardian Sailor Luna who fights for the stars above." 

'And now in the name of the moon 

'in the name of the stars we'll punish you.' 

"Silence you nuisance, Hellant, will you please just pound them into the ground!" An shouts, at them. Ant prepares to attack them when, 

'Moon Tiara Action!' 

Sailor Moon shouts but the tiara just falls to the ground.

"No way, my tiara," Sailor Moon says, in shock. 

"I don't know who you are, but if you're gonna fight, you gotta do better than that!" Mamoru shouts, at Sailor Moon. [Y/n] gasps,  "'Waxing Cresc-" [Y/n] shouts, but screams and groans, as the monster attacks them. Causing them both to fall back, onto the ground. [Y/n] looks back ready to attack but a white rose lands in between her and the monster, 

She gasps and, looks up and sees the Moonlight Knight. "Even in a world of wicked shadows, a beautiful flower of love will blossom." Moonlight Knight says, 

"Who are you?!" Ail shouts at him, 

"I am the white wind that brings color to the darkness. I am the Moonlight Knight!" He says and, Sailor Luna smiles up at him, but gasps seeing Mamoru right beside her. 

"Oh great, now another weirdo appeared." Mamoru says, 

'Huh? They're here together?! So Mamoru isn't the Moonlight Knight?'

[Y/n] looks back towards the monster and, stands in front of Sailor Moon. 

[ a/n; since y/n can fight the moonlight knight doesn't need to help also because i was too lazy to write when the others came in and so y/n defeated the monster ].... 

[ Time Skip ] ...

[Y/n] looked up at Mamoru, as they walked back towards his apartment. Both of them holding hands, "Even though it didn't go as planned, I still enjoyed it." She says, to him. And, he looks down at her. 

"I'm glad you're okay." He says, to her and, she blushes looking down. She leans her head and, places her head on his arm. 

"I'm happy you're, okay too." She says, looking down at the ground. She looks up at the sky and, looks back at Mamoru. 

"Mamoru, I had a lot of fun today." She says, and Mamoru smiles looking down at her. 

"So did I." He says, and she giggles. 

"I-I was wondering, i-if its possible. If you'd like to go on a picnic...W-With me underneath the stars?" She asks, looking up at him a blush spread across her cheeks. 

"Y-you don't have to of course. I-It's dumb really." She says, nervously looking up at him and, he chuckles looking down at her, 

"I'd think that be fun." He say and, she smiles at him, she giggles. She intertwines her fingers with her hands, 

"Okay so, I'll make the food though sandwich's, and the whole stuff. I'll make it all." She says,  to him smiling. 

"Have you gained the trust of the princess?" Wiseman asks, looking down at Saphir. Saphir kneels in down before Wiseman, 

"Yes, Wiseman. She suspects nothing, she's absolutely clueless." Saphir says, to him. 

Elara was walking back to the garden, a smile still on her face due to the kiss she and, Saphir had shared. She gasps, seeing Saphir again. She runs towards him snuggling her head into his chest,

"I didn't expect to see you this soon." She says, smiling at him. He looks down sadly and, she notices. Placing her hand on his cheek, she looks up at him. 

"What's wrong, Saphir?" She asks, looking at him worried. He places his hand on her cheek, "I'm sorry." He says, and she looks at him.

"Why are y-.." She says and, gasps as the sky turns black. Lightning strikes causing her to jump, she wraps her arms around Saphir. 

"What's happening?!" She shouts, looking up at the sky.

"ELARA!" Celeste shouted, running towards her younger twin sister. 

"Celeste!" Elara shouted, out for her sister.

"Ela-.. Get away from my sister!" Celeste shouted, seeing Saphir she holds up her Moon Star stick, ready to attack. 

"Celeste stop! He's okay." Elara says, but Celeste pulls her sister away from him. 

"He's with them..." Celeste says, pointing her Moon Star Stick at Saphir. 

"What do you mean? Elara asks, looking at Saphir who looked down ashamed, yes he was loyal to his older brother. But he was actually in love with Elara, he had actually fallen in love with her. 

"The black moon on his forehead.. He's with the people attacking Crystal Tokyo he's one of them!" Celeste shouts at her, and Elara gasps looking at Saphir. Tears brim her eyes as she looks at him, she shakes her head. 

"What are you waiting for Saphir kill them." Wiseman says, to Saphir who nods. Elara's eyes widened, as Saphir looked at them. Celeste stood in front of Elara, her stick in hand. 

Everything seemed to happen so fast, a strike of lightning from the dark sky seemed to come back and, hit Elara. She fell to the ground, Celeste eyes widened in horror.

"Elara!" She shouted, but Saphir attacked her. And, she dodged it. Celeste knew he'd be too powerful for even her to take on, she walks towards Elara's unconscious body. And plants the Moon Star Stick into the ground, closing her eyes and, creating a crystal barrier around them protecting them from the evil.

Elara opened her eyes slowly and, weakly reached out. "S-Saphir." She says, before passing out. Celeste looked at Saphir anger filled her eyes, "When I get out of here.. You'll regret breaking my sister's heart. And, aiding in this attack." She says, as the crystal surrounds them. 

The flowers around them began wilting, the once beautiful garden now destroyed. The flowers on the bushes having lost all their color, the life was completely sucked out of them. Elara laid on the ground, almost lifeless. In the crystal and, Saphir looked at the crystal and, looks down. 

"I'm sorry." He says, as he teleports away to where the others were. As he leaves a tear runs down the side of Elara's cheek. 

[Flashback] 

"Celeste stop! I'll never fall in love." Elara shouted at her sister, Celeste just looks at Elara and, sticks her tongue out. 

"Of course you will." Celeste says, folding her arms looking at her and, Elara shakes her head. 

"No! I won't!" Elara says, folding her arms and, looking away. 

"But, I thought you liked Saphir." Celeste says and, Elara's eyes widened as she runs after her sister, who runs away as Elara chases after her. 

"How do you know! Celeste get back here!" Elara shouts, running after her sister. 

"You say his name every night makes me wonder what you're dreaming about, unlady like things." Celeste says, causing Elara's face to go bright red. 

"Get back here!" Elara screams, as she tries to reach towards her sister. 

"Elara has a crush~ Elara has a crush~" Celeste shouts, laughing as she looks back towards her sister. 

"Do you wanna make him your prince?" She asks, teasingly. And, Elara folds her arms. 

"J-Just stop, he'll never like me back." Elara says, looking down. 

"Then why did I hear him call you his flower one day?" Celeste says, causing Elara to blush, her face bright red. 

"Stop it!" Elara shouts, looking down. 

"Hmm, wait what do you dream about?" Celeste asks, as she looks at her sister, and Elara covers her face with her hands. Blushing. 

"What are you two doing in the dream? Oh my sister has a dirty mi-!" She says and, Elara covers her sister's mouth. Celeste giggles, as she muffle talks.

"So how is he-"She says, and Elara covers her mouth once more. Celeste giggles, as she looks at her younger twin sister's bright red face. 

"Says, the person who has a crush on Aitne." Elara says, looking at Celeste who blushes. 

"Hey you promised not to mention that!" Celeste shouts, pulling her sister's hand off her mouth. Elara laughs, then gasps sensing Saphir's presence. She smiles and, makes her way towards him.

"Go get him sister! Don't let him take your innocence like he does in your dreams!" Celeste shouts jokingly, Elara snaps her neck back towards her sister. Who looks at Elara with wide eyes and, she runs away. Elara shakes her head and, sighs. Walking towards Saphir a smile on her face, she giggles as she sees him. 

She runs up behind him and, hugs him from behind. "Hello, Saphir." She says, smiling looking up at him. She smiles as he looks at her, 

"Hello, my flower." He says, to her placing a flower over her ear. Causing her to giggle looking up at him. She snuggles her head into his chest, 

'Celeste was right.. I was falling in love..' 

And, I don't care where he came from I love him and, trust him completely... 

[Y/n] smiled, as she leaned her head onto Mamoru's shoulder. The two looking up at the stars, this moment between them. Was just like it was so long ago, when they were in their past lives. And, before they lost their lives while fighting Beryl. 

The two were in their own world, Atlas looks at them from inside Mamoru's apartment. And, smiles seeing them together even if they weren't officially together. It was as if they were, Atlas was happy for [Y/n] who seemed to slowly, gain Mamoru's love. 

Atlas looks up at the stars as well, "I'll find you Adra..Wherever you are." He says, looking up at the stars, longingly for his lover. 

Mamoru looks over at [Y/n], who seemed to have fallen asleep on his shoulder. He smiles as he looks down at her, hearing her tiny snores. "Sleepy-head." Mamoru says, smiling picking her up and, carrying her to the bedroom she was staying in. 

He places her on the bed and, pulls the covers over her. He looks down at her sleeping form and, kisses her on the forehead. She hums and, a smile spreads across her cheek. 

"Goodnight, N/n." He says, smiling as he leaves the room. 

"Goodnight, Mamo." She whispers, quietly when he leaves the room.

[ no he doesnt have his memories back but he will after the next chapter..] 

[thebmatt]

FFXIV Write 2021 Prompt #17: Destruct

Destruct – cause deliberate, irreparable damage to

It was maintenance day.

Once every week, Franks had to break down all of the equipment he used as part of the Machinistry discipline and scrub it free of any grime, dirt, and other accumulated filth. Much of it had to be re-lubricated following this process.

It was a time consuming job, but he rather enjoyed it. By now he could do all the tasks while practically asleep, so he let his mind wander. It was nice just to have time to think, ponder everything going on, without much risk of disturbance.

He’d closed the door to his workshop in the Rising Stones, which most of the other Scions knew not to disturb him without important cause.

Which is why it was passing strange that someone chose to knock on said door, even more so when the voice of Y’shtola Rhul came from the other side. “Franks? Are you pressingly engaged at the moment?”

“Just doing maintenance, Y’shtola. Is everything well?”

“Yes…I just needed to speak with you in private, and I thought your workshop might serve as the best setting. Might I enter?”

Franks set his re-assembled automatic crossbow down, wiped his hands clean with a spare rag, and called back “It’s not locked, come on in.”

Y’shtola entered. pausing to close the door as she did. She turned towards him, but curiously, could not seem to bring herself to meet his eyes.

“Y’shtola? What’s wrong?”

She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath, then slowly releasing. She finally met his eyes when she opened hers again. “I have a problem. It is….personal. Understand, I would not ask for your aid with this had I not exhausted all possible options first.”

Franks furrowed his brow. Something was off in her voice. Was…was that a hint of fear? “I….don’t understand, Y’shtola. What makes you think I’m the one who can help you?”

“It…has always been my life’s ambition to uncover the mysteries that lie on this star. But now I face a mystery of a…closer nature, and I can neither put it aside nor solve it on my own.” she replied, crossing her arms.

“So what might this mystery be?”

Y’shtola looked away. “It is you.”

Shock overcame his face. “Me?”

“Yes, you!” she said, whirling on him. “You have never been entirely forthcoming about your past, and many things that you have let slip are not adding up! You are hiding something, and until now, I have been content to let your past be merely that, but I….I cannot any longer.”

Franks cocked a single eyebrow. “And why’s that?”

She wrapped her arms around herself, unable to take her eyes off the ground. “Because I….I find myself drawn to you. And I cannot answer honestly to myself if it is because I am attracted to you…or if it is a compulsion to solve a puzzle that lies before me.”

She looks up, a frown on her face. “It would be fair to neither of us for me to act on an assumption either way, and so I must beg for your assistance, my friend. Tell me the full story of where you come from, of what roads led you to this point of your story.”

Franks stood, glaring down at her sternly. “And what if neither option is all right with me, Y’shtola? What if I both don’t want to tell you my history AND don’t return your ‘possible’ affections?”

She hugged herself. “Then I will accept your wishes and…and find a way to move on, if that is what you would prefer.”

He nodded and sat back down on the work table. “All right. Just wonderin’. Come on, sit down. I’ll tell ya everything, but it’s a long story. “

“You…you will?” She sat on the bench as well.

“Yeah, figured you’d want to know at some point. Like you said, you’re not one to leave a mystery unsolved, so I figured you’d be the first one of the Scions to come askin’. “

He looked over at her. “And I’ll be honest, recent events have had me wondering about decisions I’ve made up to this point. I know….I know my late wife wouldn’t want me mournin’ her forever. And….well, there’s more than a few women I’ve met that I could see maybe getting to know better, if they’d be interested. You included, if that’s not obvious.”

She smiled at him.

“But that’s gettin’ ahead of m’self. You wanna know the tale of the Old Man, so here it goes. Before we do start though, I just wanna make something clear: no one except the other Warriors knows this stuff. I told em all a long time ago, when we were recuperatin’ after Rhalgr’s Reach. I’ll ask you the same thing I ask them: keep this to yourself. I do not want this becoming widespread knowledge. You agree to that?”

She simply nodded.

“All right then. Where to begin…” he paused.

“Well, I suppose I should start with one of the big revelations. I’m not from this world. And before you ask, no, I don’t think I come from one of the remaining shards either. When we first heard about them, I wondered if that was the case, but based on our experiences on the First, I don’t think that’s the case.”

He points a finger to her. “Now, I know what you’re gonna say about ‘drawing a conclusion based on a single point of data’ but you gotta admit it’s a pretty good size of one, so I figured it was worth rethinking my hypothesis. Norvrandt, on the whole, bears a very strong resemblance geographically speaking to Eorzea. There’s very similar biomes in the same locations. And while the locations of civilizations and even the names of the species might be different, if one was to bring a Mithra to the Source, it wouldn’t be immediately obvious to anyone. He’d look like any other Miqo’te to most folks. And what’s more, from the two survivors of the Thirteenth I’ve been able to talk to, it seems that their home was much the same, at least as far as they remember.”

“My world….was nothin’ like the Source. None of the continents ever looked anything like this place, and the people, well, there’s a lot of different kinds, none of which look anything like folks here. Sure, we had folks that called themselves ‘elves’ or ‘dwarves’ but if you put an elf of my world next to say…Urianger or Alphinaud, it’d be pretty obvious they’re not the same kind of folk.”

“So, based on all that, I figured that my home’s got to be a completely different world. And that world has been embroiled in a large scale war of some kind for as long as I can remember”

He holds up two fingers. “There’s these two factions, divided along racial lines. What races are a part of said faction has changed a bit over time, but the point is, they’ve been at war for as long as I could remember. Ain’t either one of em somethin’ simple as ‘good’ or ‘evil’, they both have good and bad sides to ’em, but for whatever reason, they can’t ever come to a long standing peace. Fighting might break off for a time, but it’s never long before it starts up again in earnest.”

Franks places the tips of his fingers together, looking down at them. “My wife and I….we had a farm in one of the northern kingdoms. My people were called ‘humans’. Pretty similar to Hyurs here, for the most part. Our farm was pretty far out from any of our nation’s cities, so we were always far away from any of the fighting. We always heard news about it though. Cities that fell or got retaken, reports of casualties, that kinda thing.”

“We, ah….we decided we couldn’t bring children into that kind of a world. Our neighbors were always proud of their sons and daughters that shipped off, but we witnessed a lot of sorrow, of hopes for the future get destroyed when someone came to tell em their children had died. We couldn’t do that to someone we brought into this world and raised. It seemed…cruel.”

He let his hands fall to his lap as he looked back over to her. “Anyway, we worked that farm for decades. We were in our….must’ve been somewhere in the seventy summers range when everything changed. “

Y’shtola raised a finger to interrupt. “And here we come to my first problem, there is no way you’ve seen seventy summers! Your white hair aside, your physical condition is nowhere close to the state of a man of that advanced age! Or did these ‘humans’ age more slowly?”

Franks smiled, his head shaking. “No, the lifespans are comparable. And I know, it’s nothin’ I ain’t heard before from Rheika. I promise, I’ll get to that. Just trust me”

She smiled slyly “Very well. Please, continue.”

“Anyway, that year, a plague hit our kingdom. No one knew much of anything about it, but it seemed innocuous enough at first. People would get sick, most would recover, some died. Everyone figured it was like any other disease, until it got more deadly. And then the dead…they started walking again. Mindless, slavering beasts that killed anything they could reach until they were put down. Soon it got out of control, and they were rampaging across the land. The army put up a good fight, lead by the King’s Son, a holy warrior. But he grew…desperate. He did terrible things to stop the spread. Purged entire cities of people. Finally, he uncovered evidence that a necromancer had concocted the plague, and that his hidden lair was far away in the northern ice-covered continent. He led a force there to end him for good.”

“He…didn’t make it back. Or, he did, but not as he was. He came back as that being’s servant. He murdered his own father and commanded the full force of the undead to lay waste to the kingdom.”

Franks closed his eyes, covering his lower jaw with his hands. “It wasn’t long before they made their way to our farm. We….were slaughtered. And like everyone else they killed, our corpses joined their army.”

Y’shtola inhaled sharply. “You….you died?“

He nodded

“I….Twelve, I cannot…I’m so sorry, Franks.”

He laughed ruefully. “Well, if you can believe it, things get worse from there.”

“How??”

“Well, I can thankfully say that I remember absolutely none of the time that I was a walking corpse in service to the traitor prince and his necromancer master. One moment I’m trying to fend off an attacking zombie that opens up my throat….and the next I find myself in the middle of a ruined battlefield, but I’m still a walking corpse. My mind, however, is….mostly intact. I think it was, anyway. Impossible to tell really. Anyway, I’m surrounded now by a whole bunch of other people in the same situation. Folks who were once living humans, citizens of our kingdom, and now we’re all dead.”

“Turns out the traitor prince had attacked another nation, one that had something his master needed, and he’d killed one of their generals and raised her in his service. Somehow, she’d gotten free of his control though, and with a few allies she’d managed to free, she’d attacked the price and driven him back north. As he got further away, his hold over us weakened, and now we’re free. The general announced her intention to build a new nation of us ‘undead’, as no other race in the world would ever accept us. We were cursed, plagued. Most people swore fealty to her then and there, and it wasn’t long before we’d taken the ruins of our former kingdom and built a nation for what she called “those forsaken by all others for the crimes done to them”.

Franks stopped talking for a moment, standing to get some water from a nearby cup. His voice had become a bit raspy, but it still took him a bit to continue the tale.

“I….never found my wife during this time. Our farm was gone, the land blighted and unrecoverable. Our new queen had more farmers than viable land, so I had nothing. I….well, despite being dead, we still somehow required food, so I resorted to begging for work. It was…rough for a long time, sleeping in what corners I could find, scrounging for scraps or whatever rats I could catch.”

“I don’t know exactly how long I lived like this, but eventually, my luck changed. Another undead took me on as an apprentice. He practiced a form of magic that weaponized the forces of chaos, entropy, decay, and destruction. He promised me much power and prestige if I was to learn from him. I…I knew in life that this magic was vile, punishable by execution if one was found practicing it, but our queen placed no such restrictions on us. And I was…tired of living like I had been. So I accepted. And I got very strong in that magic, indeed.”

“Our queen eventually allied us with one of the two factions I mentioned earlier. We needed allies to survive as a people, and while our new allies were disgusted by us, they recognized that we were strong additions, and our home was in a strategically sound area, so they accepted us. And so I became embroiled in that neverending cycle of warfare. We’d declare a truce for a time to focus on some greater external threat neither side could defeat alone, but then once that was over? Back to killing each other.”

He chuckled a little. “It wasn’t ALL bad, at least. I made friends and allies, both within our faction and on the other side. We all worked together, in secret, to try to bring a final end to the race war. Wasn’t exactly an easy thing, as you can imagine. I even found my wife again, but she was herself a walking dead woman. I didn’t care though, I still loved her every bit as much as I always had. She’d actually become a powerful mage herself, though she practiced the more traditional arcane magics.

He smiled, staring up into the ceiling. “She always was a smart one. Smarter than I ever was back then. Sometimes I wonder what might’ve been if she hadn’t married a farmer and gone to one of the mage schools instead. Never once told me she ever regretted it though.”

Franks shook himself our of his reverie and looked back to Y’shtola, who was still paying close attention. “Anway, like I said, we both were workin in secret with our friends to try to stop this fighting. And we thought we had pulled it off. Our group encompassed some of the strongest warriors and spellcasters in the world, and we either joined or built orders of like minded people that were designed to rise above the faction conflict and combat the greatest threat our world had seen to that point, a vast and endless legion of beings similar to what we’d call voidsent. And we succeeded. We actually defeated a force many believed unbeatable once they’d begun their invasion in earnest.”

He slumped. “And then it all fell apart”

Y’shtola looked shocked. “How so?”

“The people who’d pledged their loyalty to us first and foremost, a vast majority of them abandoned their respective orders to return to their original factions. As if everyone in the world just acknowledged the conflict was a natural way of life. Our Queen actually gained total control of our faction, and began purging those she referred to as ‘traitors’ from our ranks. Somewhere along the way, she’d gone from being our savior from thralldom to the traitor prince to being just as controlling and insane as he’d ever been.”

Franks paused, Sorrow overtook his features. “I….found out that my wife had been one of the victims of her inquisition. We had feigned allegiance to her when she came to power, but somehow she found out that we’d been part of the rise of the orders, and I was going to be next.”

“I paused only to bid my friends farewell, and then I fled, deep into the jungles of the southernmost reaches of the continent. It was a primal place, mostly untouched by civilization, and I eventually found a well hidden cave there.”

I went as deep inside as I could, wanting to explore what was likely my new home, when I stumbled and fell towards a wall….and then through it.”

“I….saw things. Things I couldn’t explain then, and can’t remember now, but eventually I passed out. And when I came to, I woke in another gave, but overwhelmed by my senses. This new place was inside a cliff face where the tide constantly dashed against it. The sound was one of the loudest things I’d ever heard. The sunlight breaching the cave was blinding. And no matter where I turned or how much I covered my ears, I could not escape a constant whooshing sound. My body ached from lying on the rocks. I hadn’t felt anything like that in years.”

“It was because you were alive again. The sound you couldn’t escape was your own breathing, wasn’t it?”

He smiled. “And the lady wins a prize. Yes, I was alive again. And much as you see me right now. That cave is a grotto on the northwestern end of Vylbrand. I spent bells in that cave, weeping with joy at the sensation of having a body back, one that seemed to be at my old physical prime. I looked mostly like my living self, but with features adjusted, more like hyurs of this star.”

“But once that overwhelming feeling of joy passed, I noticed that I no longer had any inkling of how to wield my old destructive magic that I’d become a great master of. Instead it was replaced with knowledge and concepts at the same time unfamiliar to me, yet at the same time I knew I comprehended it on some level. That was what got me to leave the cave and explore this new land I’d found.”

Franks raised a hand, waving it in a circular motion. “And the rest, you know. I spent time in libraries, learning the name of the magic in my head, arcanima. I then learned of Limsa Lominsa and it’s Arcanist’s Guild and went there to study. I might have enrolled in one of their formal degree programs, but I had no paperwork for my identity or previous schooling, as you might have guessed, so the less stringent requirements on the Adventurer’s track was my only option. From there, I started my career as an adventurer, which brought me here to this day.”

Y’shtola rested her head on her fist, processing his tale. “Were this from anyone else, I’d have spun it as one of Rheika’s tall tales, but….I absolutely believe it, coming from you. Have you ever returned to that grotto to see if the portal is still intact? Have you…ever returned to your world?”

“Yes to the former, although not in some time. As to the latter….no. I can’t step through that portal. I can’t….be a corpse again, Y’shtola. I definitely can’t risk being found by the queen again, or leading her to any of my friends if I were to check on them. Worst case scenario is that I escape through, back to Hydaelyn….and she finds it and comes here. No…no I won’t risk that. And I know you, you’ll want to examine this place for yourself. I want you to swear to me, Y’shtola, give me your word you will not step through there, please!”

She nods. “I give you my word, as an Archon and a Scion, I will not take any risks that will bring further dangers to this world.”

He sighs in relief. “Thank you.” He looks to her, a half teasing smile on his face. “So, now you know my story. Does it clarify anything for you? I’ve lost count, and I haven’t quite managed to work out the differences in years between this world and my old one, but you think you might still be attracted to me knowing I’ve seen probably over a hundred summers at this point?”

Y’shtola smiles. “I…think I will need time to process that, my friend. I will need time to process everything you’ve told me.” She makes her way to the workshop door and opens it, lingering by the door briefly before turning back to look at him. “But in fairness….it does not immediately change how I feel, either.”

He laughs “Well, good night, Y’shtola. Let me know what you find out…on both fronts, aye?”

“I will. Good night, Franks.”

“Aleister.”

She had almost made it past the doorway when he replied to her. She stopped and turned her head back to him. “Pardon?”

“My given name. It’s Aleister. Figured you should know it along with the story. Prefer you stick with ‘Franks’ or ‘Old Man’ in front of others, but I wanted you to know. And if you decide you do want to move forward with….us…..well, I’d like hearing it from ya.”

She smiled again. “Thank you, Aleister. I’ll see you soon, with answers. Good night”. She left the room, closing the door behind him.

Franks stared at the door for a couple of minutes, then chuckled and resumed cleaning his equipment again. It was getting late, after all.

[petersasteria]

Problems As The Youngest - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom x Holland!Reader

Requested? Yes! By anon x

Hamilrequest #9

“Take a break and get away.”

You are the youngest and the only daughter of the Hollands. Everyone treated you like a princess and your brothers are very protective of you. You are two years younger than Paddy and just like the rest of your family, you’re already exposed in the public due to your eldest brother’s fame.

You loved Tom, but sometimes you hated his job. It was so demanding and he never spends time at home and he’s always gone to go to some country and when he’s back, he leaves again. When he’s home, he doesn’t even visit you because he’s going out and partying with his friends and Harry and Sam would occasionally join in. They would also play golf and this time Paddy would come along and they never invited you. In short, you barely see him and you felt extremely excluded from sibling activities.

You tried getting his attention, because you wanted to be close with your brother. But it’s difficult if he’s the one not cooperating. You did everything just to be close to him. In fact, not just him. You did everything to be close to your brothers. As in, everything.

To be closer with Tom, you did ballet and gymnastics just like him when he was younger. You also went to acting school.

To be closer with Sam, you took up cooking lessons and you watched videos on YouTube about it. You even took up piano lessons in hopes that you and Sam would play together.

To be closer with Harry, you asked Nikki all about photography and the do’s and don’t’s of it.

To be closer with Paddy, you tried to understand all the games he was playing with the help of your male friends from school. You even took up football lessons.

Because of all those things happening at the same time, you were drained. But you were desperate. All your brothers didn’t have time for you anymore. You understand that they have their own lives, but would sparing, at least an hour of their day to be with you, hurt?

It’s no secret that the Holland family are very talented. You were definitely not an exception. You had a natural talent for singing and song-writing. Because of this, you would write all your woes and sing it out. Nikki said you’d be a singer someday and Dom said your gift was too amazing to be kept hidden.

But you kept it hidden anyway. You didn’t want anyone to know about your talent, because you were too shy about it. After all, you were just 13.

You were home alone, because Paddy went out with his friends, Sam had a date, and your parents went out as well. Paddy was supposed to watch you, but as soon as your parents left, he told you he was leaving.

You sat in front of the piano and practiced ‘Memory’ from CATS. You were going to audition for the school production of it and you really wanted ANY singing part. You could be Mr. Mistoffelees and you wouldn’t care. Singing really was your passion.

You took a deep breath and played the intro of the song and then you sang along with it. You were so distracted by playing the piano and singing that you didn’t hear your parents, Tom, Harry, and Harrison come in. They stopped and stayed quiet when they saw you and they were in awe.

“Burnt-out ends of smoky days. The stale, cold smell of morning. The street lamp dies another night is over. Another day is dawning.” you sang passionately with tears streaming down on your face. Despite the tears, you didn’t have a shaky voice. You were really like a professional.

“She’s really good.” Harry whispered with a small smile on his face.

“That’s our sister.” Tom said quietly.

“Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise. I must think of a new life and I mustn’t give in. When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too and a new day will begin.” you played the instrumental perfectly and held back a sob. 

“I’m kinda tearing up too. I don’t know why.” Harrison muttered under his breath.

“Like a flower, as the dawn is breaking, the memory is fading.” you sang deeply before taking a deep breath to sing the highest note. “Touch me, it’s so easy to leave me all alone with the memory of my days in the sun. If you touch me, you’ll understand what happiness is...”

You looked up in slight shock to see your parents, Tom, Harry, and Harrison. ‘How long have they been here?’ you thought to yourself. The show must go on, so you continued playing, “Look, a new day has begun.”

You ended the song and wiped your tears away as they applauded. 

“Y/N, we didn’t know you could sing.” Tom said, obviously amused that his youngest sibling had such a beautiful talent that she so selfishly kept hidden.

“That’s because I didn’t share it to people.” you mumbled and stood up from your seat before walking to the kitchen.

“But why? You sounded amazing!” Harry exclaimed as he followed you.

“She’s just shy.” Nikki defended. You shrugged and helped her set the table for late lunch.

“You were really good, Y/N.” Harrison smiled sweetly. “But why were you singing such an emotional song if you don’t mind me asking?”

You gave him a tight-lipped smiled and muttered something under your breath. Harrison looked at your brothers and then back at you and said, “Could you repeat that please?”

You looked at your parents and Dom nodded, “Tell them, love. It’ll be fine.”

“Tell us what?” Tom asked.

“I’m auditioning for my acting school’s production of CATS.” you said like it was nothing. After all, what’s the point in telling them if they wouldn’t be there?

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Harry asked.

“Acting school?! Since when did you go to acting school?” Tom questioned.

“I figured there’d be no point in telling you.” you shrugged and sat down and grabbed a cookie from the cookie jar.

“Why would there be no point in telling?” Tom frowned. “We’re your brothers. Don’t you want us there when you get the part?”

“Well you don’t have time for me, now do you?” you retorted. “You’re not here all the time and when you are, you’re with your friends. But that’s okay. I stopped caring.”

-

Getting the role of Grizabella and months of rehearsing later, it was now the night of the show. You brothers promised they wouldn’t miss it and you had a glimmer of hope that maybe your relationship with them would change.

'Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats’ just started and alas, your brothers were a no show. Nikki and Dom were extremely disappointed that none of the Holland boys appeared even though they promised.

-

“Harry, how’s the show?” Sam asked through the phone. “I can’t make it tonight. My shift is until midnight and this is my only break.”

“Show? What show?” Harry said in confusion as he looked at Tom before putting Sam on speaker.

“Are you joking??” Sam shrieked. “You and Tom aren’t at Y/N’s school production of CATS??”

“Shit. That was tonight?!” Tom panicked. 

“Yes! Wait. Where are-” Sam cut himself off and his eyes widen. “Hold on. Are you at a fucking club?!”

“Hey, cut me some slack. I was tired today and this is my stress reliever.” Tom rolled his eyes.

“Are you both out of your goddamn minds?! How is clubbing more important than our sister’s school performance?” Sam angrily said.

“Well, you’re not there either. You’re not getting out of this scott-free.” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but I have a valid reason. What’s yours?” Sam challenged.

Harry and Tom went silent in shame.

“Mhm. That’s what I thought.” Sam sighed. “Well, at least Paddy’s there.”

As if on cue, Tom takes out his phone from his pocket as he felt it vibrate. Tom looked at the text from Paddy and shook his head, “Nope.”

“What d’you mean ‘nope’?” Sam asked frantically. “Paddy’s not there at the show?!”

“Nope.” Tom repeated.

“What the fuck?! Why?” Harry looked at Tom.

“He said he didn’t pay attention to the time and he’s stuck at his friend’s house. He also said that he wasn’t dressed for the occasion, because the venue was at a theater and not the school’s auditorium.” Tom said as he read the text and bit his lip.

“We’re fucking dead.” Harry said bluntly.

“Yes we are.” Sam agreed.

“It was nice knowing you, boys.” Tom sighed.

-

“There’s our girl!” Dom smiled as you ran to his arms and hugged him. He kissed the top of your head before you pulled away to hug Nikki.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart!” Nikki grinned. You pulled away and looked behind them. Nikki and Dom looked at each other sadly. You looked at them and forced a smile, “They didn’t make it, did they?”

They shook their heads. You pursed your lips and nodded, “Okay.”

“Let’s go out and cele-”

“No, thanks. I just want to rest, please.” you said sadly. 

Dom nodded, “Let’s go home, then. We’ll just celebrate tomorrow.”

You gave him a small smile and nodded, “Yeah, let’s celebrate tomorrow.”

-

“Hey, you’re home!” Tom cheered as he saw you. You rolled your eyes and walked passed him.

“There’s the star of the show!” Harry grinned.

“How was it?” Paddy asked.

“I’m too tired for this. Just go.” you said bitterly and walked upstairs.

Tom looked at you and called out, “Go change your clothes and come back down! We need to celebrate!”

“Go home, Tom!” you shouted over your shoulder before running to your room and slamming the door loudly, everyone thought they felt the house shake.

“Why didn’t you show up?” Nikki asked with her arms crossed. “And where’s Sam?”

“Harry and I forgot.” Tom frowned.

“Sam’s shift doesn’t end until midnight.” Harry said.

“I was stuck at my friend’s house and I wasn’t even dressed for the occasion.” Paddy explained.

“You better make it up to her.” Dom said sternly. “She’s your sister for fuck’s sake. She tried everything to be closer to all of you and you give her nothing in return!”

“She took up classes for everything you’re all interested in so that she has something to talk about with you. But what did you do? You pushed her away.” Nikki shook her head. “Talk to your sister. Now.”

The three Holland boys walked upstairs and went to your room. They knocked, but you rolled your eyes and stayed on your spot in the middle of your big room. You were rehearsing the steps for your ballet recital next week and you also did it to de-stress.

Tom opened the door and walked in with Harry and Paddy behind him. You didn’t pay attention to them and you just looked at yourself in the mirror.

“We’re sorry.” they all said simultaneously.

“We have no decent excuse and-” Tom said but you cut him off.

“I know. I heard the conversation downstairs. I only accept Sam’s excuse, by the way.” you huffed as you tried to get the steps right.

“We want to make it up to you.” Harry offered.

You scoffed, “Really, now?”

“Yeah.” Paddy nodded. You pursed your lips and turned to face them, “And how will you do that?”

“Well, mum said you took up classes for everything we’re interested in.” Paddy mentioned.

“Yeah, so?” you crossed your arms.

“Maybe we could hang out by that!” Tom smiled. “We could do ballet together.”

“We could do photography together.” Harry said.

“We could play football together.” Paddy added.

“Yeah so, what do you say? It’s our only way to make up for everything.” Tom frowned.

You thought about it for a while and your brothers were nervous. You finally sighed and nodded, “Fine. You’re lucky I love all of you.”

The three boys grinned and pulled you in for a group hug.

Sam walked in your room and grinned, “A group hug without me? I feel betrayed!” You all cheered as he joined in the hug.

“I made a little something for Y/N downstairs. So, last one there is a rotten egg!” Sam shouted before running downstairs followed by you.

* * * *

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​​​​ @peachmaybnx​​​ @superheroesaremytea​​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @petersholland​ @osterfieldnholland​

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟