#me when i make a text post and don't tag it
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I see a lot of people in the tags feeling like they can't share their original work until it's complete and published since there's no place like AO3 for original stuff. But there are! Here's a few of the more popular options.
(Note: Traditional publishers tend to not want stories posted anywhere before they do, so keep that in mind.)
Tapas
Tapas is a most known for its webcomics, but it allows webnovels now, too. The most popular types of stories right now are Romance Fantasy (specifically Isekai Regency Romances), Action Fantasy, and BL.
There are slightly different genres available for webcomics, but for webnovels, the genres are: Romance, Romance Fantasy, Fantasy, Action Fantasy, Action, BL, GL, LGBTQ+, Drama, Mystery, Thriller/Horror, Science Fiction, Comedy, and Non-fiction. Stories are allowed to have three genres, but the first one determines where it shows up in searches and rankings. For example, my story is LGBTQ+, Science Fiction, and Slice of Life, but it only shows up in the LGBTQ+ section.
You can tag your story anything you want. Individual chapters are taggable, but that's just for fun, it does nothing for searchability.
Tapas emphasizes bite-sized content, so novel chapters are only able to be up to 15,000 characters (a little over 2,000 words) in length. Users can like and comment on each.
Images go a long way on Tapas, even if you're writing a webnovel. On your story's page, there's space for a banner, the cover (of course), and every chapter can contain a different thumbnail picture. Here's what mine looks like:
Personally, I like to switch the thumbnails with each full mini-story in my novel. I know someone who switches thumbnails based on PoV character, and I've seen people keep the same thumbnail throughout their whole story. It all depends on what you want!
Tapas has a full ban on AI-generated images and text. Mature content is allowed so long as it is appropriately tagged. They're a little stricter on images than text. As long as you're not writing porn without plot, hate speech, or something illegal, you can write pretty much whatever.
There is a Tapas Forums and a Tapas Discord. Personally, I find it easier to chime in and talk shop in the forums. However, the Discord is where Tapas announces contests and offers feature opportunities.
Royal Road
Royal Road is a website that caters to fantasy, sci-fi, and other speculative novels, with a current emphasis on LitRPG Isekai. But you can post other stuff there!
The site has a list of preset genres and tags. You can select up to four genres and however many of the tags you want. Here they are. The images are a little blurry without zooming in, but I included alt text.
If you hover your mouse over the question marks beside each label, it'll show you its definition just in case you're like me and don't know what some of these tags mean.
Your story goes through a 24-hour approval process, and if the moderator decides that it's fit for the site, it goes through.
Just as a heads up, this site has a reputation for being very strict about sexual content, even when it's appropriately tagged. The FAQ doesn't mention there being a limit, but among authors, it's understood that only 10-15% of the words (or chapters??) in a story can contain explicit sexual content. Sometimes less. So be aware of that.
Instead of likes or kudos, stories have the option to be reviewed on a 5-star system. These reviews are either be a short overview of your opinions on a story, or a more in-depth, "Advanced" review rating Style, Story, Characters, and Grammar separately. This helps (or hinders) a story's visibility. However, if you're friends, family, or live in the same house as the author, you MUST state that in the review, or the author could get into trouble.
Readers can comment regularly, but there's also an option to make it so that they can select passages to point out grammar mistakes and things like that.
You can insert images in chapters, but only if they're hosted on a different site, like Imgur or here on Tumblr. You can also put a poll in each chapter.
Royal Road allows AI-generated stuff on its site. There's an option to mark stories as being AI-generated or AI-assisted (using something like Grammarly to spellcheck or clean up wording). The site does have an in-depth search system that allows you to exclude stories tagged this way. However, there's still a lot of stories that use AI covers.
The site also has forums with a bunch of different sections. There's one specifically dedicated to swapping story reviews, but some people there will read, comment, and review on other people's stories just for fun.
Wattpad
Wattpad is probably the most well-known original writing platform. Its most popular story type seems to be any romance involving a rich and/or powerful guy. Sometimes he's a werewolf.
Its list of genres includes: Action, Adventure, ChickLit, Fanfiction, Fantasy, General Fiction, Historical Fiction, Horror, Humor, Mystery/Thriller, Non-fiction, Paranormal, Poetry, Random, Romance, Science Fiction, Short Story, Spiritual, Teen Fiction, Vampire, and Werewolf. You can only pick one of these per story, but like Tapas, you can also tag it anything you want. Each story is allowed 25 tags.
Pictures can be added to chapters, along with a picture, gif, or video above each chapter. Chapters can be commented on and liked. Wattpad's most standout feature is the ability to do in-line comments, where you're able to comment on specific lines or paragraphs. Also, you can see a chart breakdown of your readers' ages and genders.
Wattpad allows AI covers and AI text, and unlike Royal Road, there's no way to filter it out. The site used to have forums but got rid of them mid-2020. It also got rid of DMs earlier this year.
Archive of Our Own
The average person reading this knows more about Archive of Our Own than I do, so I'm just gonna say: AO3 allows original works so long as they're "fannish in nature," otherwise, they'd prefer you not post them there. Original works are tagged under the Original Works fandom.
General Tips
Do not under any circumstances join Webnovel. It's well known for predatory business practices.
If anyone DMs you on one of these sites wanting to sign you onto another, ignore it. It's probably sketchy.
Read other people's stories if you have the time. There's a chance they might like yours too.
If you don't know where to start finding other stories to read, participate in Read for Reads (Review Swaps on Royal Road). Not every story is gonna click with you, but I've found some of the coolest hidden gems from those.
Forums on novel websites are usually full of other creators. Advertising might get you a new reader or two, but not many.
Some of these sites (especially Royal Road) fall victim to web scrapers posting stories to another site. The good news is that they also copy usernames, so the authors still get credit. Also the views and likes on the other sites are often made up. No one really visits these them except for the authors who found out they've been stolen from. I don't really know what the end goal is... I think Tapas might the safest from this, since you can't copy-paste text from there, but that's just a hunch.
Was wishing there was a positivity post for original fiction writers since I see so many about how fanfic writers are doing so much for their communities even when they're not actively writing, and then I thought:
Be the change you want to see in the world.
So this is a positivity post for the writers out here who are working very hard on stories with no established community. Who can't talk about their blorbos and plot lines and brainstorming to anyone and expect them to know what any of it means. Who don't have much to share publicly, but are hoping they will one day.
You're doing a lot of hard work, and I recognize and appreciate what you're putting into the world, even when you're resting.
#writing#writing help#hopefully this helps someone#i tried to be as neutral as possible#when i look for people recommending sites for original writing#i see people recommending ao3 and nothing else#which makes me a little sad
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sometimes i think about the way i allocated yaevinn stats and also the fact that he's a fucking death machine in a flower crown
#; tales from the continent#; this bard needs therapy#i am so serious when i say i was fully ready for yaevinn to be USELESS in combat#i was out here like “hehe i put some points in archery so im not totally useless but it's probably still not great sorry guys”#but NO#he's not a harbinger of misfortune he's an ARBITER OF LIFE AND DEATH#and he's just a little guy! he is JUST a little guy#and he will fucking GET you#oh also#; the citrus speaks#me when i make a text post and don't tag it
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]
#boothill#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr memes#honkai star rail memes#hsr meme#honkai star rail meme#hsr textpost#hsr boothill#boothill hsr#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hmmm... don't think it's worth tagging the others in the 9th image. this ain't about them#still unsure abt how to do the alt text for these kinda posts properly but hopefully i'm improving#anyways. don't think i've ever seen heard and typed "cowboy' so many times in one day as i have while making this good lord#i did a bit of digging around and haven't Seen any of these done yet so. here's hoping that's the case!#i'm only ~3/4 of the way through the 2.2 main quest but the need to make these compelled me to put these out Now#i can already tell u that there Will be more of these for Boothill tho bc i'm crazy abt him. probably enough to make another dedicated post#but i'm gonna wait until i'm fully caught up on the plot (and will probably spoil myself for more of his character lore after that as well)#speaking of. i'm gonna go eat mac n' cheese and stay up too late playing through the rest of the main quest#i'm loving it so far. many thoughts head full abt it all but in a good way. hoping for more Boothill moments as we approach the end#he's def not the main character here but he is to Me okay. he is to me. i'm scarfing down every crumb he drops#i'm also suffering from Aventurine withdrawals out here. Argenti mentioning him was Interesting but i need More. Where Is He.#also. was Argenti intentionally not voiced or was it a game issue?? the hell was that. threw me off so hard when i couldn't hear him speak#anyways i'm getting off topic and wasting precious gaming time so i'll be takin' my leave now
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Which is your favorite platform? (of the ones you have accounts to post things I mean. I can't imagine it being Instagram since you don't really post there which honestly fair)
Tumblr, Twitter (X?) bluesky? Something else?
I think I'm going to have to go with tumblr, and it's not just because we're here. Twitter and Bluesky are nice and my experiences on both are overwhelmingly positive. But tumblr has an atmosphere that encourages originality, sharing your creations and talking about things in depth.
#I dislike the mindset of making “content” and when I'm posting here I don't feel like I have to tailor my posts to be#as easily consumable by as many people as possible#microblogging platforms are fast paced and you're constantly fighting the algorithm#making long text posts is inconvenient and usually not worth the trouble#so I rarely talk about my characters or their lore outside of tumblr#what's nice is that when you ramble about your personal projects and fictional fixations here people tend to be pretty receptive to it#like they Get These Feelings and are able to analyze and read between the lines really well at least if you ask me#on top of that customizing your browsing experience and curating an organized blog is easier#and above everything I love and cherish tumblr's tag culture#very often the best commentary I get comes from tags#answered#anonymous#instagram continues to give me bad vibes and going there has always felt like a chore
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as usual with me, we have to take it slow the first time that i peg her.
despite her usual docility, she guides my strap to her hole. i'm sure she'd prefer if i did it, but i need help for the first time.
so she positions herself, then slowly lowers herself onto my strap. and she moans so loud, undoing herself before me, fucking herself on my dick. i will just watch with fascination, figuring out how to replicate what she likes. if she sounds so pretty now, i wonder what she'll sound like when i do it.
after a few moments, i will stop her. i'll grab her neck, or her hair, or even her waist, and tell her to stop. i'll remove myself from her hole, and flip us around, and pin her to the bed. i'll kiss her pretty lips and wait her her to beg for more. she's so desperate at this point, i doubt it'll take long, but i won't rush. i will touch her softly and bite her hard until i hear her ask for me to fuck her. if she rushes, i'll curl my lips into a smile, and whisper "be patient," until i'm ready.
this time, i'll fuck her myself. i will position myself over her aching hole and listen. when she begs, having tasted my strap but not truly been fucked by me, i will give her more than a taste. she said she likes it rough, so rough i will be. i'll slam into her with brute, unpracticed thrusts. i don't know how to be gentle, and would i even want to be? seeing her, i always want to take. this time, seeing her pleading beneath me, i want to fuck her at my will. i watched her do it, i know how she likes it, so this time, i'm letting her lie back and i am fucking her.
i'll watch her squirm beneath me, those huge eyes rolled back, helpless and consumed with pleasure. i'll listen to her pathetic noises moaned in sync with my rhythm, watching her hands go above her head without my action. i'll watch her become overwhelmed, crying, and incoherent. and then i'll watch her cum harder than she has in a long time.
and after she finishes, i want to hold her tight. i want to take her in my arms, and kiss her forehead, and make sure it wasn't too hard. i'll take off the strap and trace patterns into her skin while she comes down. i want to keep her there until the after tremors have faded and she's able to say more than "wow."
all this say, i want to fuck her, but we'll have to take it slow the first time. at least, slow at first. i'm sure i'll get used to it, but it'll take me a moment.
#insane just how badly i want to see her cry. this isnt even a “she cries during sex and i wanna see it” no i just want to make her cry#i don't even know how i'd accomplish that. is this it? she mentioned impact play for that previously. guess im learning how to hit#anyways. y'all. im so fucking obsessed. help.#i didnt even like pegging until like two months ago. when she asked me very nicely and i went ohhhh shit#i actually NEED to peg you#i thought about this for like two days before i could get it out and it's the most i've ever written for this blog#probably in the top 3 longest smutty things ive written ever. and stars it's only getting worse#she has me in a chokehold but HEY at least its mutual#unrelated but the fucking tenses in this post is a fucking mess. future? present? who knows#ok tags:#autistic nsft#nonbinary nsft#queer nsft#trans nsft#t4t nsft#t4t ns/fw#nsft concept#nsft imagine#nsft text#nsft#circus deer#nsft t4t#nsft trans#nsft txt#hornyposting#queer smut#queer ns/fw#PLEASE I SPEND SO LONG ON THIS GIVE ME ATTENTION
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PicMix compilation wahoo
#art talks about stuff#haibane renmei#vocaloid#megpoid gumi#mob psycho 100#mp100#meiko#kaito#i hope people don't mind me tagging all this i nearly didn't but i might as well#as of posting the meiko + kaito one is still awaiting moderation but all the others are on my account#i have a few others but they're yakuza related so i'm saving them for their own post when i make more#anyway i really like how these look especially the first hr one + the meiko and kaito one#id in alt text#arthurgifs#picmix
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Batb: Other Than Human - Themes stuff (& why I Called It That)
That's right folks, the self-indulgent "throwing any concept I like at the wall and haphazardly mixing together what sticks" au rewrite Thing has Actual Themes! That kind of happened accidentally but they are so real for that so let's get into it.
The Main Narratives Themes Trio of the story now all also embody expanded themes about being an "Other", when being a person is not enough to be properly considered human- more specifically of a neurodivergent/queer girlhood type flavor.
Summary is that it's called "Other Than Human" because the prominent theming is about being considered something other than human due to not fitting the mold of the 'norm'.
[This is a long one so details & specific character stuff are under the cut<3]
Amalure has the greatest departure from her original counterparts thematic placing, so we'll start with her. Amalure retains Gaston's social standing, reputation, etc. But it's of course not quite the same- because she is a woman, and she is not revered for being the picture of ideal womanhood/femininity. Instead, she excels in masculinity, but remains firm that she is and always will be a woman. So, to justify the desire & awe people have for her, they dehumanize her: She doesn't need to follow the Rules because she is outside of them. Amalure is not a person: she is a symbol, a figure, an object. A legend, a folksong, a modern myth. Her skills are not skills they are blessings, inherent, a mundane magic or supernatural. Despite having grown up in Villeneuve for her entire life, she is considered exotic, and is practically, if not actually, fetishized. And through all of this, the status quo and social order gets to be retained without question, and she gets to exist as the exception that proves the rule, rather than the Undesirable that she'd be marked as otherwise.
Amalure is fine with this, because this dehumanization is her status quo: She doesn't really view herself as a person either, she is defined by her relationship to other people, by who she is to them. Amalure has never been a person to anybody: Growing up she was never just a girl, never just Amalure: She was a girl with a mans brain, an embodiment of her fathers greatest achievements, an embodiment of her mothers worst mistakes, she is her fathers daughter or her mothers daughter, but not her own. (and she never both, it is either or, mother or father, never both, never parents.)
Princess Eve/The Beast is the other end of this, of operating through her dehumanization. Upon being cursed, she adheres to what societies have oft wanted to happen to their Undesirables: Hide away and never be seen by the public again. It is entirely self-inflicted, as most of her suffering truly is. She operates not through others dehumanizing view of her, but her dehumanizing view of herself and its warping of how she believes others view her. Because, well, the servants still view her as a person. I mean, they're still human- under the new object forms. And the separation of humanity that is easy to slip into on matters of royalty is awfully minimal as well; they watched her grow up, and she grew up among them.
The girl's bratty, spoiled, temperamental, and is a ball of horrid consequences of the shallow views and ideals learned from surrounding nobility. But she's also the girl that fell asleep listening to Cogsworth explain the many technicalities to managing servants; because she was stubborn in asserting her authority as the mistress of the castle, and thus she Must have say over its goings ons. But the majordomo's voice can be awfully soothing when he's not high-strung on anxiety, and it's hard to pay attention when you don't understand what's being discussed, so its all going in one ear and out the other. And She's Lumiere's 'Evie', who was so amused when Lumiere would draw on a little mustache when dancing the male roles so the princess could learn some duo dances, or because she didn't look very "waiter-like" (because Eve wasn't entirely sure what a maître d' did, but it seemed to have something to do with waiters), and who got annoyed every time the dance teacher/maître d' would warn her not to hurt her body in her pursuits, because it seemed so silly, why would anyone do that? And she's the girl who dragged Mrs. Potts to have tea with her, because she made the best tea and as princess she would have only the best; and if you're going to have tea you may as well have a tea party, and you can't really have a party of one, but two isn't much of a party either so she's going to drag Babette away from her duties too, since the maid was so elegant and thus would be perfect.
Honestly, the girl probably would've turned out fine if she was raised by just the servants. But they weren't the only forces in her life: she's a princess, so she's got to host and interact with important people and learn how to Be noble which isn't something any of the servants can teach her. And it is under the pressures and eyes of nobility, is in mixing and learning their social rules, that learns the lessons that will lead to her curse: That to be considered human and treated as such, one must look human. And to be such as a woman meant to look beautiful, like the ideal. As a woman, to be worthy is to be beautiful and vice versa. And even if she does not, she must have some way to serve men. Otherwise, she is nothing. Eve met these requirements well, and where she did not yet her authority as princess covered. So when a beggar woman is at her doorstep, the princess turns her away: because she is old, ugly, so long past her 'prime'- there is no worth to her anymore. There is no point caring for her future.
Helene stands as both the middle ground and inverse to the other two. She is an Other by virtue of her mind, she is Objectifiable by virtue of her beauty. She sits on the precipice between Undesirable and Desired, seeming nearly apathetic to where she lands despite popular encouragement to embrace or smother aspects of herself. Helene is quite sure she's a person like anyone else, thank you, and is frankly frustrated and a bit weirded out that others seem to have a hard time getting the memo- she doesn't like or want to assume the worst, though, so maybe she just missed another confusing untold social rule or something. I mean, the local triplets really do seem to be advising in good faith- they really do think of her as one of them to an extent (for reasons Helene is yet to know); they just don't understand her.
When Amalure pursues her, there's an unspoken aspect to the deal of marriage she proposes: Helene will get a secured place on the in of the community, a secure standing the promises people no longer questioning or trying to encourage her to no longer be herself. But Helene just isn't interested in Amalure like that, and she also sees what the real trade-off of that security is; that uncomfortable dehumanization that is exactly what Helene doesn't want to deal with anymore. If Amalure is fine living with it than she is free to do as she pleases, but the huntress doesn't seem to understand what Helene could possibly have a problem with- and it's not like they can discuss it, because it's unspoken, and you're not supposed to speak the unspoken things, because they're unspoken for a reason- even if you don't know what that reason is. Helene knows that rule, at least.
When Helene meets the Beast, she regards her as she does any other. It's plain as day that the Beast has a humanity to her, whether she's really "human" or not- she thinks and she feels, and that's enough for Helene.
Because Helene grew up raised by a single dad who she got most of her brain workings from, and he is a man of compassion and science. Off he'd send his beloved daughter to go and question and figure out the world for herself, to experiment and learn and become whatever she desires. Off to bed he'd send her to tell her fairy tales and have their lessons of love and compassion and humanity understood as she drifted off to sleep. Helene was never Odd with her father, never Other, in fact they were so easily two of a kind. It was so jarring, hearing people imply Tyndare less than sane; his logic paths were so easy to follow- but apparently his voice gruffs enough that others have a hard time understanding what he's saying sometimes, so that's where things seem to get lost in translation she guesses. People became jarring in other ways as she grew up too, because suddenly there seemed to be lots of social things she was supposed to know or be but didn't and wasn't, and it became very apparent very quickly that she was an Other among her village.
Overall: Eve & Helene get to go through these themes through the main plot, and post curse-breaking is when Eve gets to properly deal with the internalized issues and whatnot. Like she's learned beauty doesn't matter when it comes to love, and shouldn't decide whether or not someone should be cared about, and Helene loves her despite her having been beastly and despite her being a failure of a woman- (because she no longer fits the feminine ideal after the curse is broken, and frankly she never will again.) But she's still a Failure Of A Woman and Helene deserves Better Than That! So there's still work to do.
Amalure remains static on this aspect of the narrative until after the battle at the castle, where she does survive! .. barely. and it's later, in an argument with her mother that same night, bleeding out on the kitchen floor, when she asserts that she's her daughter too, not just her fathers. she has always been her daughter, always will be, she is the daughter of both of them, because that's not something that just switches or turns on and off- and it's an entire rant that I will not recite here, but the important part is the assertion that she is, always has been, always will be, the daughter of both her parents at once- that's the first little step for her arc of recognizing her own individual personhood and whatnot.
#Amalure's mother is a CHARACTER alright#she has a ref I need to make too...#fun fact Amalure falls asleep in her childhood bed that night being convinced the last thing she did was yell at her mom#and acutely aware that there is no comfort for her in this house.#Wire monkey mother frfr#anyways uh hi.#how obvious is it that the person making this is a she/it ND sapphic???#because Hi hello that is I#Yes Helene is VERY definitely Neurodivergent.#I can easily say she's autistic because the traits she displays are most commonly associated w/ it#but tbh I don't have autism and I didn't give her those traits with specifically autism in mind or research#so she's just.. generally Not Neurotypical.#project whatever you want onto her as you will#Fun fact the physique change Eve gets after being uncursed is me finding a justification for me basing part of her design on thinking that#Amalure seeing her and immediately having the Worst gender envy of her life since her dad died#while Eve is having like the worst body image issues of her life#would be kinda funny lowk#Also I might have a type but shhhhhhh#anywayss uhhh#gem stop yapping in ur tags#batb: other than human#ramblez brambles#doodlez#I just did some mild editing w/ the ref art cuz I'm too lazy to make new shit for this and I didn't want this to Just be a text post#Princess Eve#Helene#Amalure#sorry of any of this is rambly/hard to read I randomly woke up at like 2:30am#idk when I started writing this post but idr doing much of anything beforehand besides making the little banner thing#and it's... 6:13am now.
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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HAVING THE MOST "FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE" LATE YULE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
#real life with risa#THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE#y'all let me fucking tell you#I'm sorry I'm gonna be giving a whole other text post in the tags#So on top of me finding out that I misread the movie poster for shadow#my day nurse called in for the ENTIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEE WEEKEEEEEND#so my poor brother was stuck here since Friday night (he went home this morning)#and yule was saturday and I usually make a stuffed porkchop dinner with cornbread#NOW. USUALLY THAT'S IT. But since my life sucks this year and I also don't get a full Christmas with the fam#I decided to do A Little More and bought ingredients for green bean casserole and potato gratin#okay well my brother hates cooking when he's not dog tired on a 72-hour shift so none of that is happening#so I decide to do it today when I have a nurse again because those ingredients were expensive and I'm gonna use em#I got the wrong goddamn potatoes so okay that's fine. I'll just make some shells and cheese instead#cook the green beans. go to get the baking dish. Can't find baking dish. how.#Call my mom#SHE NEVER RETURNED IT FROM THANKSGIVING. COOL COOL COOL COOL#BEANS ARE ALREADY COOKED ON THE STOVE#so I said fuck it and shoved them in my new dutch oven and I have no idea if it will work or if they'll cook right but IT'S DONE#THIS IS NOW A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE#I'M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE OUT HERE
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damn I yap a lot
tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]
so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]
Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]
Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird
Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly
Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.
Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so
OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.
#so the post is for the practical stuff n the tags r for emotional btw [or at least I tried to do that]#[yeah just except the para starting with “originally” I'll keep that there despite being unnecessary]#-#genuinely. im so scared. im so scared all the time [most of the time not scared of anything in particular - I mean the physical problems#fuck me up by making me scared and sad and tired most of the time for no reason]#I have no energy and it's all up and down and even though I actually feel okay rn [not good but okay] after literally breaking down an hour#ago I still know this shouldn't be happening#nobody is going to believe me if I say I have high-functioning depression. who do I tell. well they will believe me but how would it help#and I'm so scared to tell anyone for no reason. I'm not scared mentally rn but no matter whether or not Im ok the emotion stops me from#taking action if that makes sense.#--#I don't understand what I did to deserve this why is this happening to me#why are these internal problems out of my control happening to me#I don't understand and it truly deeply scares me#---#I meant to out this at the start of the tags but fuck it I'm too far in and on mobile to go all the way back now#thank you if you read this far. truly thank you because I need someone to talk to and my irl's are not an option for all different reasons#if I reach out to you about smth random please talk to me as if I'm still not half-gone.#feel free to message me whenever about wtv despite the “hiatus” I need it#... if you have read this far for whatever reason please text me that my Rui loves me my brain is trying to guilt me and say he doesn't#[that just happens when I'm in a certain state even tho that's when I need Rui the most selfship mutuals u get it pls help me out]#he. he does love me right? I swear he does I just. can't seem to believe it right now#I shouldn't have pushed all that to the bottom when it was directly telling my mutuals what I need lol#I feel a little hopeless sometimes. that's not like me I'll be alright in the end. no not that. I'll be better than alright I can fix this#I can fix this. I just need help. god I need help.#at the very least I'll be alright
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there’s a special place in hell for people who take the time and go through the effort of leaving negative comments on fanfics, like-- what is wrong with you, what is LEGITIMATELY wrong with you? I’m so angry and so devastated on behalf of everyone who has been harrassed like this and who is going through something like this right now. There’s no excuse for shitty behavior - if you intentionally leave a hurtful comment on something someone created and put out there for other people’s enjoyement, for free, after spending probably HOURS if not WEEKS or MONTHS or longer on it, you’re an incredibly shitty, disgusting, miserable waste of space of a person be better
#this is just unbelievable behavior#I cannot imagine what kind of a person uses their time and energy to spread negativity when they could be doing something good instead#like why I seriously don't get it#it is so horrible and so heartbreaking and makes me so so damn angry that people are bullied like this to the point that they stop doing#what they clearly have enjoyed doing until this point#it's so wrong and people who cause this - you are the worst kind of person#but be better is also aimed at myself because I've slacked on spreading the love myself by commenting on the fics I love#like pretty much every single codywan piece Glimmer ever wrote#I always tell myself “I'll do it later when I'm not busy with schoolwork etc” but later might be months later or it might be too late#so I'll do better myself and I'll start commenting more even if it's just a short quick note its better than not gettin around to it at all#because fanfic authors deserve all the love in the world#fanfics have made my life infinitely better and the authors need to know how much they've affected my life#and how much their fics mean to me#so I'll do better as well#text post#star wars#codywan#YES I'll tag those because it is relevant
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low/no empathy is Minorly Othering in terms of interests (in my experience) because almost everyone i know prefers fiction over nonfiction, because it's more interesting and easier to digest,
but prefer the opposite for the same reasons. nonfiction is MUCH easier for me to parse through. i stress myself out a lot whenever i try to imagine a characters thoughts and feelings, and i end up usually just misunderstanding entirely. oftentimes it's so frustrating i just put a book down and never try reading it again. i understand rhetorical devices, messages, themes, symbolism,,, i understand the book on a technical level when it comes to the artistry of how it's written. but i, for the life of me, in the moment, simply cannot fathom a character's thoughts and feelings
comics are only a little easier bcs they have added help of drawn depictions of thoughts and feeling, but even then it can still be hard. i just can't enjoy the same literature many ppl are into just cus i find textbooks n stuff more easy to read
#when i say it stresses me out i mean it REALLY works me up WAYY more than it ever should#makes me wanna tear my hair out and curl up and scream. i'll be like halfway thru a chapter and then i'll realise the atmosphere#& emotions the characters are feeling isn't x but actually y and then i have to read it all over again to attempt to interpret it correctly#while nonfiction texts are fun to read. the language is rarely ever boring. even in textbooks if you get through the first few paragraphs#of introduction to a topic ; the rest of the section's really fun to read#the information presented as fact is just a lot easier for me to understand#sometimes biographies are stuff are a bit harder. bcs they may describe their emotions during a particular time or something and go into#neigh-narrative amt of personal detail. and usually when i read i want to have Full Comprehension™ so i stress myself out understanding#those feelings. ESPECIALLY if they're feelings i don't really experience#no empathy#low empathy#autism#apd#npd#<- tagging bcs contributes to low empathy. not rlly an npd post tho
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I might have OCD actually
#idk i can't tell if its ocd or paranoia#but all my life these “share this text to 10 contacts or your mum will die” always made me unreasonably panicked#and more and more because of posts like “donate now or you are a horrible person” make me deeply unwell#i feel so selfish because i know it's not their fault#im not blaming palestinians reaching out for help more like the people who share the posts and then guilt trip everyone#and i really dont wanna block the tags because it'll make me feel even worse and i still want to be informed#i have so many asks pilling up but idk what to do because I'm useless i can't help in anyway i dont have any reach and no money in my name#and i dont wanna close asks because i do enjoy ask games#but also idk what to do#because when i reply its so hard i feel miserable because i can't help but as soon as i reply i get 20 new ones and it's incredibly overwhel#overwhelming#but when i dont answer my brain is screaming at me “if you dont reply your while family will die in a car crash”#and it's a simple mental image to think of the more asks i answer the more i get the more my brain tells me awful things#I'm sorry to any mutual i may have unfollowed because they shared so many guilt tripping posts i genuinely can't do it anymore#and i feel terrible#and I don't wanna leave Tumblr because it's my only social platform left lmao and thevother ones are all awful its the inly one i like#I'm just not in the right mental state to constantly see “donate or you dont deserve to live even if youre poor” kinda posts#it's not even triggering its just making my “ocd” worse than it ever was#all day long my brian been telling me “you will die today because you didnt answer the asks!!”#it's genuinely horrible idk what to do and eother way i feel like a piece of shit i feel like i dont have the right to feel this way
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talking with friends about why the toy poogle bothers me but the toy vanda doesn't- ended up drawing this to illustrate a Furby neopet that WOULD annoy me, because at this point the only thing making it a jubjub is the pose and proportions. when people draw toy vandagyres, i can still generally tell its a vandagyre- it has the tail and claws and the vandagyre already looks a lot like a furby in the first place. the poogle doesn't look that similar to an idog, so most of the toy poogle ocs i've seen people make don't register as neopets at all to me
#to be clear: not mad at people for making toy poogle ocs that don't look like neopets. have fun!!!#also not mad at the person who designed the toy poogle that tnt copied for the official one#im annoyed at TNT for making no changes and creating a pet color that doesnt even read as a neopet when not in that specific pose#the wearables that make your pet into a hyperrealistic real animal annoy me too but at least those aren't like#the idog is a canon neopet now. just a straight up idog:tm:#i need a text post tag
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"I can't hear you over the sound of the eight billion glasses and plates clinking, and the very high possibility that I'm going to lose my job, and the fact that everyone at this charity dinner hates me but we have to act nice to each other, and the weird lighting in this room, and these fucking Spanx!" - Katherine Hastings, probably
#she's autistic because i said so#the lighting in the charity dinner is so weird#it's not bad lighting but the spotlights make me think of searchlights#i remember trying on these really firm leggings that my mum has#and my mum was like “remember when you were asking about shapewear because of that show? that's what Spanx feel like.”#and i'm thinking “well that's bullshit; i can see why they made an entire cold open about them; this material is awful.”#also there's a continuity error in that cold open with katherine's sleeves#and it bothers me because when ana posted the scene on her insta; there was no continuity error#but the clips were in a different order in the actual episode#which just goes to show how many times i've watched that cold open#like i love it and i hate it#also wtf were the tight sleeve things for#do people really pay that much attention to women's arms when they're wearing tight dresses?#katherine and ana don't need spanx#and the former shouldn't feel like she needs them#i will die on this very specific hill#that scene in the commercial ep where sadie says something like “women should wear what they're comfortable in”#TELL THAT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND#on x's insta she said that they were all wearing spanx and could barely breathe#and i'm just thinking about katherine really awkwardly asking dori for help#and dori sending a text to sadie#being like “we will all support katherine. we will all be concerned about her job and be physically uncomfortable together.”#women loving women in a non-gay way#but also in a gay way#sad that i can't tag people in hashtags#because i would love for @harrietdyker to write a fic#american auto#katherine hastings#sadie ryan#dori otis
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The problem with not having your mom close anymore is that when things are going wrong in your life, everyone stops at just saying they're sorry and no one asks how they can help there's only so much a sad face text can do when the real cure is a hug or someone bringing you ice cream or just asking you to come over for a movie yk?
#don't read the tags I'm continuing to complain about things that aren't even that bad#this isnt for any of you just the people who live five minutes down the road from me#there's only so much you can except from them#i mean when you only have three irl friends#but . idk I just don't see people ever . and no one ever asks me to come over and do things#and everything compounds on itself and sometimes it would just be nice#if anyone would ever reach out i don't fucking know#just feeling lost and lonely tonight whatever it's fine#things should always be good forever and never change#kestrel calls#chitter chatter#text post#like if I lived with my mom she would give me a hug make me dinner whatever#I think everyone else just . never learned how to do that or forgot
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