#me and the discord all agree
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What if Vlad had just got into doing drag instead
#happy pride#i mean this tho#his ass should be in the club. performing#the need for drama? the need for messy situationships? flare? campy supervillainy?#yeah#me and the discord all agree#aka this post is peer reviewed#vald masters#vlad plasmius#danny phantom
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Winteriron/ if they met during the first iron man movie.
#bucky barnes#the winter soldier#tony stark#iron man#ironwinter#marvel fanart#fan art#iron man movies#tonybucky#concept: they are in the desert. there's fire on the background. and a helicopter is looking for tony. that's were all this light is from#i dedicate this to every fic were they meet during the events of the first iron man movie#my favorite thing was when in discord someone saw the wip and went :“yinsen in the afterlife: so i was helping him design his wedding suit”#lol 😂#let's agree however that yinsen survived this one ! who's with me ?#My art 3td
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Big Huge Irritated Rant About The Latest COTL Update's Story Choices and the Implications
So the lore drop in the new Cult of the Lamb update, Unholy Alliance, pisses me off. The writer's confirmation of what that lore drop means pisses me off more.
Why? Because it's unnecessary recontextualization that was made pretty obviously in favor in one character in particular, and somehow in that process makes that very same character way less interesting. I think it's incredibly detrimental to the story and I will Explain Why in a second.
But before I do, I just want to put this out there: Prior to this update, my opinions on the Bishops and Narinder and that entire plotline were pretty neutral. I'm an NPC enjoyer, I spend my time thinking about that moth with two lines of dialogue. I did not previously have strong opinions on Narinder or Shamura outside of mild dislike for fandom treatment. So I'm not coming from a place of bias here (or at the very least I'm not trying to be). I genuinely, wholeheartedly, 100% believe this writing decision was unnecessary and the Wrong one to make, and I think it severely undercuts the original plotline because this was a retcon and one that sucks pretty bad.
Ok we're on the same page here? Ok awesome. Long rant ahead, and obvs spoilers for the Unholy Alliance update
So first, what the hell am I talking about? What part of the update do I not like? Let's clarify that first.
It's Shamura's dialogue. Like, all of it. For ease of understanding, here is all the dialogue I will be talking about:
"Ah... we gathered here, the four of us, a council of war and I the general. I have not forgot. I did not tell them that chains to bind a God must be forged of Godly matters. What matter of Gods? What matters of Gods? I have not forgot. The betrayal of kin, the breaking of spirits, blood spilled, his and ours. ...the sacrifice of what we had sacrificed so much for... ...shaped into shackles for our own brother. And our wounds always to weep. Such sharp claws..."
--
"He sought to break nature's own laws. Death was his, yet he placed his sacred duty in peril. His experiments... Experiments I encouraged. I am not... blameless. My soul, stained... yet I do not... Ah, The story. Yes the story... He wanted to open the doors between Life and Death, to... to allow their return. Those mere... mortals. Even though he knew their sacrifices, their faith, their fears sustain us. Death must be the end. Otherwise, what use would they have for Gods? They began to flock to him. What he promised, we could not match. He swelled with devotion... while we waned. Would he have let us perish? I could not take... the risk... the hunger... You are lucky there are none left to force such a choice on you. Hail, Lamb. Last God... lonely God... Ah... I feel... unburdened..."
And for fun, before anyone tells me I'm misinterpreting any of this or that it's left up to interpretation or is intentionally vague, Word of God (the writer of CoTL):
And it's this being Word of God that's spurred me into making this post to begin with. Because prior to this, I just seethed about this dialogue's implications in my server and hoped I was wrong. But now it's been confirmed what this means, and I'm . Disgruntled, to say the least!
And since I've started writing this post, there's been another addition made to further clarify parts of this. But I'm going to go over that addition more towards the end, because it also irritates me for separate reasons.
So, let's get this straight.
Prior to this update, the specifics of what happens between Narinder and the Bishops were pretty vague. We were told Narinder was "gluttonous in his ambition," per Shamura's previous dialogue, and that they "introduced him to ideas of change" but "Death cannot flow backward." Heket somewhat elaborates on this by saying he preached "heresy" and "noxious ideals" that would not be tolerated. Heket also notably refers to Narinder as a flat-out "monster." Narinder attacked his siblings and left them each with a big, symbolic wound. Then he was chained by the four of them, with Shamura the one to lead it (in their own words).
There's a lot of talk of betrayal, but before this update, it was unclear if the betrayal was meant to just be Narinder's experimenting with death (which even then was pretty heavily suggested to be resurrections) or the wounds inflicted upon his siblings. There's also a lot of talk of sacrifice, i.e. from Leshy if you kill Heket before him: "After everything we did. After everything we sacrificed. He will not be satiated."
Regardless, the picture this painted was of Narinder being this ambitious, evil, violent God that even his fellow Gods (Kallamar) feared and felt needed controlling. The idea that the wounds could have been in the nail in the coffin to this entire ordeal made sense; as they were obviously planned by Narinder to some extent (otherwise why be so intentional about who got what wound?) and a fair reaction to Being Mutilated would of course be to chain him.
Then of course there's the idea that the wounds were given while he was being chained and in self-defense, which only seems possible if you think Narinder could take on all four of his siblings at once like that and only manage to lose his claws in the ordeal (which was only revealed in this update to be something he's implied to have lost thru the relic). I thought this at first too, but realized it seems pretty impractical for that to have been the case if the wounds were also purposeful in who got what. I mean, sure, they could all be coincidentally symbolically appropriate for each Bishop, but I have doouuubts?
but now we're here, with this update, and all has been revealed.
And what's been revealed exactly?
Narinder's thing he was doing was indeed resurrections (we knew that)
Shamura encouraged him to do it (we also already knew this)
It seems like he did literally nothing else outside of that
His siblings got pissy about this because it made their domains purposeless and got all their followers to flock to him
"Would he let us perish? I could not take the risk" - Implies they literally did not even ask him
Shamura knew that in order to forge chains that could keep Narinder down, it would require a sacrifice of their bonds AND their flesh
They DID NOT tell the other Bishops this
Their wounds were requirements to chain him. They had to get the wounds they bear now in order to chain him. ONLY Shamura knew this. That means they allowed their siblings (and themself) to get attacked knowing full well what would happen. They may have even encouraged it, perhaps provoked Narinder into it, seeing as they knew the wounds were necessary to have him chained. (Or they just knew he would retaliate. Which, like. Yeah. They're condemning him after he went down a path they encouraged and, as far as we can tell, nothing else.)
And for... what?
In this version of the story, Narinder was experimenting with resurrections, and Shamura told him to keep doing that. Then he was successful, mortals turned to him, and his siblings (including Shamura, the one who told him to do it) got mad. That's it. That's their reasoning for chaining him. There's nothing else given. "Would they perish?" We have no idea. Is that how it works? Seems like Shamura doesn't know either. Or at the very least doesn't know if Narinder intended for that at all. Gives the vibe that literally no effort was made to talk to him and figure this out. They don't even really go down the "it puts nature out of balance!" path, which would at least have some merit, maybe. It's literally just "we are no longer sustained. What's the point of Gods in this world?" <- idk babe you had all the other ones slaughtered. So you tell me
And then Shamura just took it into their own hands, leading their siblings to their shared wounds (WITHOUT consulting them) and their inevitable destruction because of........... reasons, I guess. (I mean, if you think about it really hard, they probably also already knew what would happen following all this. With the lamb genocide and Narinder's resurfacing and etc. And they had their siblings wounded anyway. For no god damn reason)
And now why does this make me mad?
Because, honestly, in and of itself, there's not anything necessarily wrong with this added context. It's not contradicting anything in the main game. Shamura knowing what was needed makes sense, after all.
But it's... unnecessary. It screws up the motives and makes them more shallow, less nuanced, more... petty. Making gods petty is cool and all, I love doing that honestly, but in this case it just feels like a waste of potential.
But beyond all that. But most importantly.
This entire recontextualization of events REEKS of being made specifically to absolve Narinder.
I mean, come on. He's made out to be the victim, here. Shamura knew what he would do, knew what he would become, and knew exactly what would happen to their siblings if they sought to chain him (without doing so much as talking to him beforehand), and yet they encouraged it.
All blame is being shifted on Shamura. All Narinder did specifically against his siblings was inflict the wounds, which at this point seems to be hinted as self defense or a retaliation against threat or insult (assuming he was provoked into attacking, somehow). Because the wounds were part of the process.
And almost equally irritating, this seeks to arbitrarily absolve Leshy, Kallamar, and Heket as well, as they had no idea what the plan was and were just strung along. Which is just kinda worse, right? As far as they are aware, Narinder did just randomly attack them for no reason, and this wasn't foreseen, and surely couldn't have been stopped. All because Shamura didn't tell them any of it.
Shamura is being made into the big bad. Shamura is at fault for everything, for all of it. Narinder is a victim of Shamura encouraging him down a path they later condemn him for, their siblings are victims of Shamura and Narinder both (the latter of which could have been resolved at any point prior), and now any possible intrigue about Narinder being this big bad guy who tore apart his siblings due to his own ambition getting the best of him is ERASED.
It's GONE. All in favor of making him more sympathetic.
And sure, about a million different excuses could be made for Shamura, or could be used to headcanon whatever you want about exactly what happened. But with what we're given right now, just from the source, no attempt as made to stop Narinder before it got to this point. It is literally suggested they didn't even talk to him.
"Maybe they were too scared" - For the other three, maybe. Shamura is the eldest and clearly the most respected one, by Narinder as well (he holds some amount of respect for them even STILL. After EVERYTHING). They at any point could have stopped this.
"Narinder could still have been a bad guy outside of the attacks" - Sure, but we're given little to nothing on that front. In the old dialogue, literally all that's mentioned is the resurrection stuff and the wounds. Shamura is the one who said his ambition made a glutton of him, by the way. And hell, this isn't even touching the very real possibility that all of the Bishops (Narinder included!) are unreliable as hell.
"But Kallamar feared him even before his chaining, that suggests he was still a bad guy beforehand" - Sure, it could! But that's about all we get! And hell, in this new update, Kallamar's fears are fucked with, too. He states:
"Once, long ago, Followers would worship at my altar just to glimpse the beauty of my temple… of course, it could not last forever. Perhaps my siblings did not understand this, but I have always known. It did not make me less afraid. Cowardly Kallamar, ha…"
Here, it seems Kallamar's fears have been changed to be more about the decline of his temple and the loss of his followers, which was happening because of Narinder. He refers to Narinder's plans as "foolish" as opposed to... idk, horrifying, or threatening, or whatever. He also fully takes on the 'cowardly' title, giving the impression that his fears were somehow unfounded, which wouldn't make a lick of sense if Narinder indeed sucked ass outside of the wounds.
Not to mention he "didn't want to hear it" when Shamura "revealed the plan," but we know because of Shamura that they didn't mention anything about the wounds, so Kallamar didn't want to hear that they... had to chain Narinder? That's literally all he could've been told about the plan. Why wouldn't he want to chain Narinder if he was scared of him up until that point?? Doesn't make any sense!!! EDIT AFTER I POSTED: On reconsideration this might just be referring the lamb genocide plan, but that's hardly better, because now this update absolves Narinder, Leshy, AND Kallamar by making them blameless in everything (both Leshy and Kallamar expressed not fully understanding the plan for the slaughter or, in this case, not wanting part in it). What's up with THAT. Why is Shamura getting the blame for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
Anyway, my point is
This was a story decision made to make Narinder sympathetic. It's so blatant. And it's so, so irritating. It gets rid of so many potential cool flaws of Narinder and replaces it with "Actually, Shamura was the bad guy the whole time! Huzzah!"
And honestly, had the entire game come out like this to begin with, released at the start how it is right now, I don't think I'd care this much. But being added now, as an afterthought, after the fandom and devs alike have grown to favor Narinder above all others, it just...
It reeks of favoritism. It smells of revising the story to make Narinder more likeable. It's just erasure.
And for what. Like, I don't want to be That Guy, but I cannot help but notice that one of two nonbinary characters (outside of the Lamb/Goat themselves) is being this heavily demonized in favor of absolving a Man of his crimes. What's, uh. What's up with that.
Oh, and that addition by the writer I mentioned was made while I was writing this.
This was made after Jojo was questioned whether this was a retcon as to who caused the wounds, as this whole thing could also certainly be read as Shamura being the one to directly wound their siblings (which I didn't think was the case, but still).
"I don't know if they thought it would be so severe" - How do I put this in a nice way. This feels like a weaseling out answer. This feels like giving Shamura an out only after being questioned on this writing choice. How could they possibly not know how severe it would be. This spider is Knowledge. This spider has Foresight of some kind. And how do you not know what they thought. You are the Writer. If you want to clarify something like this you gotta say it with your full chest.
Not to mention a good portion of the fandom probably won't even see these tweets, so this context is all missing from the story presented in the game. This is Tacked On Context on top of already Tacked On Context. It's unnecessary retconning all the way down.
Anyway. I realize the fandom at large will not care about this, because (and I mean this in the nicest way I can manage) the Narinder favoritism in this fandom is already impenetrable, but for me personally? This retconning that was so clearly done out of that favoritism?
It ruined Narinder's character for me. More than the fandom possibly could have. I mean, if it's fanon, it can be ignored. But this was canonized. Because Narinder is the dev team's favorite guy.
And I can't stand it.
#VERY long ramble#<- i mean it. this post is chunky.#I have a lot of thoughts. And they are not positive. MM dev team when i get you.#Narinder enjoyers beware. I do not like your man and it's because of this update.#If anything I said in the post is unclear please feel free to ask and I will elaborate where I can! I tried to make my thoughts#as clear as possible. but i am also a fulltime college student with a keyboard that is currently retaliating against me.#My brain is a little scattered atm lmao. but if I hold onto this post much longer I might just anxiety myself out of posting it.#because nobody else seems to be having these same critiques. Save for my tiny little discord server where we are all very loud haters.#If you don't agree with me that's awesome 👍 please be normal about it tho if you are arguing i'm begging.#if this post gets any amount of traction I'm going to be wary about having my inbox open hkjsdhg#ok now the scary part.#cult of the lamb#cotl unholy alliance#cotl spoilers#unholy alliance spoilers#<- i don'tknow if that still needs tagging but jic. also I'm wary of tagging characters on here. so for now i won't.#cotl#ok that's it for now. Runs away. Fast
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no one knows pain like a transfem roman believer with entirely ambivalent feelings towards romencken
#op#succession#the thing is. its arguably not the most substantiated reading#but romans character shifts wildly from writer to writer#like people are surprised by jesse calling him a 'classic playboy' when the show does everything to disprove that#but its like. yeah lol he didnt write romans arc! roman was passed between dozens of screenwriters all of whom have vastly different#perspectives on who he is. thats how we get romans characterization changing so much btwn seasons and even episodes#so anyway all readings are an attempt to recuperate this meta discordance#and i personally think that him being transfem is the most interesting wrt how it affects the larger themes of gender in the show#but also. i cant share in these feelings bc the entire circle of people who agree with me are passionate romencken fans and i simply dgaf
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hi! seeing you during all this ep95 mess has been a breath of fresh air. you seem to have a really firm grasp of canon so I wanted to ask what you think of the recent discord message from Liam where he says Orym didn't know that Laudna was under Delilah's influence when she killed Bor'dor? I watched the clip from 4SD, & it's pretty clear that Liam says Orym understood Laudna was opening the door for Delilah when he encouraged her to kill Bor'dor & even says "we'll need that." But the Discord message seems to walk that back. It's been super frustrating being accused of vilifying Orym or infantilizing Laudna for repeating what Liam himself said. I just don't really know how to reconcile these two statements from Liam & it has me a bit confused on Orym's character.
hi anon, thank you!
this turned into a much longer one than i was expecting dfksjdkfs
so last week i posted this Really Long Ask about the whole discussion, if you want to take a look. but i intentionally didn't bring up liam's discord message because you're right! it seemed contradictory to something that was stated in the past, which was confusing
honestly i think the most realistic answer is that liam probably didn't mean for what he said on 4SD to be understood as such a strong and maybe even polarizing character choice. i think a lot of us heard it as "orym sees delilah as a useful/necessary asset that outweighs what might happen to laudna afterward." particularly because he framed it as something that made the whole situation "even creepier," and during that same convo, marisha was emphasizing the psychological impact that killing bor'dor had on laudna. it's a strong stance and it reflects what orym is doing to himself (handing his endgame over to the questionably fickle nana morri to increase their chances of success against ludinus)
but i suppose liam's clarification suggests that he meant it in a softer, more practically level-headed way, like "orym knew he couldn't do a whole lot about delilah's return but he also thought it could have benefits," or something along those lines. they're obviously two hugely different interpretations with pretty big implications on how we understand orym's relationship with laudna
i'm not a connoisseur of orym's character by ANY means so i can't confidently tell you what the change might mean from a narrative perspective, but i personally still prefer the former stronger stance. because i think it raises interesting questions about how orym views his own place in this war and whether or not it's valid for him to (intentionally or subconsciously) project that placement onto the other party members. is it okay for orym to expect the same level of personal sacrifice from laudna, or imogen with predathos (a whole separate can of worms), or anyone else? is it safe? etc etc. but maybe liam doesn't want to go in that direction, or maybe he does but just not in the way we expect, i don't know! only time will tell!
also regardless of what he meant, i think it's important to acknowledge that it's really easy and completely understandable to feel like he was walking something back. that episode of 4SD was almost a whole year ago! many of us built that statement into our perception and understanding of orym's character for a long time, so it's totally valid to go "wait what the fuck???" when liam suddenly pops into the discord to say that's not what he meant. those feelings are valid and real! especially when discourse can already make you question your own intelligence and your personal interpretations of a story, having that pillar, as big or small as it might've been in your mind, knocked over can be really jarring. you are very much not alone in that, and it's okay!!
#hope this helps?#anonymous#ask#answered#critical role#cr3#cr fandom#cr negativity#cr meta#*meta#orym cr#liam o'brien#for the record i think the wording of his discord message is super flimsy compared to what he said on 4SD#which only made it easier for me to feel like he was just sticking his nose in discourse to try and defend his character#which - during what was very clearly taking shape as an orym vs. laudna argument - made me feel like liam was shitting on my feelings#i'm OBVIOUSLY not saying that's what his intentions were but i can't logic my way out of my initial rage reaction to a discord screenshot#and it just illustrates the dangers of cast members directly involving themselves in fandom discourse#which i kinda thought the cast maybe wasn't ever ever gonna do again....after c1 reddit....after bowlgate.......etc.......#saying vaguely defensive stuff when two parts of a fandom are at each other's throats only adds fuel to the fire. it clears up fuck all#and it gives people more reasons to agree or disagree with each other and point to your vague-ass message as evidence#so really. not that you asked but. i really think he shouldn't have said it lmao. bc ppl got Even Nastier after he did#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's out there now! what can you do!
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i nearly anon'd the thorki non-con fic out of SHAME but in two weeks it's become my third most clicked-on fic of the year, behind only a multichapter fic and a bit of angsty sifki porn lololol
#this is about 560 hits btw which i know is not much for bigger fandoms and it's just that i tend to be in some weird niche but gosh!#i'd written thorki before but it wasn't e-rated so if the non-con tag really did work against it then wow no wonder ppl write this pairing!#you ever been to reddit where someone posts about how their latest fic only got 20k hits in a week and you're like “WTF”?#and it turns out they're in some hugely popular fandom and that's the least read fic for that pairing on the entire site by a mile.#that's like glimpsing a parallel universe. what a strange place. why would any fic ever have more than 1000 hits omg!#and 1000 would be for if you wrote something Surprisingly Popular. like e-rated thorki non-con apparently is.#meanwhile 'cockroboros' may only have 35 hits but every one of those 35 people agrees that i was right to write that thing!!#and me and the other 86 people who wanted to see missy interact with jamie moriarty are besties now <3#SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TURN THE NUMBERS BACK ON OH NOOOOOO THIS WAY LIES MADNESS!!!#the sifki one had a bump recently which i must assume came from one of those 'recced it in a discord but never said a word' incidents.#those are increasingly common and i hope i am not alone in finding them ever so slightly creepy#if you're going to look at me you need to at least pat me on the head to cancel out the anxiety of that damn it!#*flashes back to when i hid that one ten'n'donna fic because nobody would tell me where all the readers were coming from*#fic related#anyway i think it's important to mention i wrote thorki non-con fic in case anyone following me thinks i am Unproblematic in some way.
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#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
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manfred is hot and people hate in him bc he's a knmy ass no cake bitch while gant has big booba and that suddenly forgives his crimes
i suppose this is what i get for DILF thirsting on main
#anonymous#nonnie i absolutely cackled when I saw this omg#in all my discord servers there's this running gag where I simp so hard for the DILFs#yujin herlock mvk greg etc#and my sister deadass called me a kitten as like a reverse cougar#so you know what just desserts lol!#thank you so much for the greatest message i have ever recieved#none of these words are in the bible#tho i very much agree that Manny is flatter than a pancake#that's part of his charm XD#nsft#minors dni
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old man goes thru an hydraulic press
#the lineart and the coloring were made separately but still followed the og promt to add spice#i did this while streaming on discord so big shout out to my friends who spent half a day looking at me going insane over this. real ones#also we all just agreed the closed eyes one is just Voltaire#dst#dst maxwell#maxwell dst#fanart#art challenge#digital art#diany scribbs#i promise i'm trying to improve my old man skills please spare me plea-
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trying to look for a ttrpg group in spaces where I can't just go 'listen I want to play this shit in the tumblr fandom kind of model (gay subtext extremely welcome bordering on essential, mutual unhinged character psychoanalysis, we could create a novel of a backstory together to make this sadder, let's all play with our OC dolls together and also sometimes dice are rolled I guess)' and be readily understood and/or not be immediately side-eyed or denigrated for my inherent unavoidable tumblerinaness feels like such an annoying debuff to deal with on the quest. like I know my people exist out there but how do I express myself in the right way and wade through all the copious not-it (not for me) dynamics to find them!!!
#I feel like a weird kid in the playground trying to find someone who plays the same way as me all over again fhdksjfa#(and if/when I find them -- how the fuck to approach them)#turns out there are so many ways to play rpgs that do not appeal to me in the slightest#there are so many dimensions -- creative interpersonal gameplay-wise -- where you can severely not match with someone lmao#with half of the people I've come across it seems like it would be a struggle just to agree there should be a session 0 :')#but I know I KNOW this could be exactly my kind of fun with the right people it's a little maddening#(my group of friends when I was 12-13 was like... we were trying SO hard to play an rpg without having an rpg to play#some from first principles but with no guidelines to help us stuff#and it was one of my rare 'oh fuck. oh fuck yeah this could be it!!' social moments at that time lol. clearly something instinctive there)#I have been lurking around in a discord server on a more national/local level but I'm not gonna lie... a lot of The Good Old Boys shit#dominating the conversation there. I really don't think they mean to take all the oxygen out of the room for everyone else but uh#it's kind of just what happens. I have seen seen hour-long debates over definitions so esoteric and navel-gazing it would haunt your dreams#trying to wade through that to find the people who might vibe more with me seems... so exhausting and I don't know howww!!#the high masking autistic blues plays again
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This collab I joined like eight months ago that I didn’t really enjoy being in finally got posted today but for some reason only on twitter and I don’t go there so I can’t even see the whole thing :/
#I had. so many quarrels with it.#first of all instead of staying in mutual groups like it was supposed to the collab somehow blew up and got eighty people participating#and THEN you’d think since so many people were there everyone would have like one part right? like what we originally agreed to do with#seven people?#WRONG!!!! I got three parts plus a background without getting consulted about it#and then when I tried to make friends in the discord with all the other artists#at least seven people online at the time were raging mysoginists#telling me no women in this series can be anything except perfect dainty little princesses#except for one woman who was allowed to do a little evil bc she was associated with a MAN#who ACTUALLY wouldn’t be evil#and when I said that’s not accurate to the actual story everyone started crying and saying I offended them#bc ‘they thought really hard about this!!’ stfu you piece of shit#and then everyone in the discord sexualised the fuck out of my fave character who. also happened to be the one I was drawing.#so I got too grossed out to finish my part and ignored the disc for several months#and the host never thought once to tag everyone for check in until a week before the deadline#so I dropped all but one of my parts (the one I had mostly finished when I got grossed out)#and finished that and didn’t touch the disc again for the sake of my own mental health#but it finally got posted and I can’t even see it I only have my groups picture#but whatever. I didn’t like anyone there anyway at least I can leave the disc without feeling guilty now#inkbagel speaks
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Finished The Grief of Stones and I love this wet cat of a prelate and this world so much (I also love Maia and TGE and will yell about them all also but right now it's Thara Time)
(there will be spoilers below)
This man has just... the most fixed idea of himself in relation to others and his trauma has closed him off from the world so much!! It's so sad and he's absolutely Convinced that people barely like him most of the time, when we see a lot of people actually respect and admire and care for him quite deeply!
Like Azhanharad he says doesn't like him, but the Subpraeceptor goes out of his way to engage with him and never seems particularly upset about Thara's presence and both cares and knows him well enough to call Anora to come get him while he's traumatised, injured, and vulnerable!
Thara Celehar has three (four if you count Maia) half-goblin men who demonstrably care about him so much between Iäna and Anora and Azhanharad, and it's not just because he's useful to them as a Witness for the Dead.
He clearly craves closeness and wants to be cared for and to care for others, but he holds back through fear of being punished for his sexuality and because of his guilt and grief and having spent so long punishing himself that he forgets that he's allowed to be happy too... Even just Iäna using 'thee' for him shocks him so much, because he doesn't expect anyone aside from maybe Anora to want to be so familiar with him (even despite all the time they spend together and how freely he can go to the opera to see him and the whole bit in his family's eatery and being allowed into Iäna's rooms to see his photographs before they fucking break into a place together!!), but he also just... leans into every moment and scrap of intimacy he can get like a sunflower desperate for light...
#the grief of stones#thara celehar#the cemeteries of amalo#if anyone wants to yell about this with me feel free to message me#or idk if there's a discord or anything for this fandom#i need to also perhaps write a fic where anora/iäna/azhanharad all agree that thara needs some taking care of#and they all very caringly dote on him before giving that man the extremely thorough fucking he deserves
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i need the people who posted about the same problem with discord as me four years ago to come back and update what they did about it ;-;
#discord rlly wants to be annoying lately#basically if i’m not actively in that window it disconnects after a few minutes#so i’m missing notifs and it turns off vc#it’s been yelling at me about not being supported bc of my windows situation#but other people have said the same thing happened to them#but all the comments are just ppl agreeing and being annoyed dkdjdkd#i will try to figure it out tomorrow ig !#gg txt
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Day 4 (Make-Up)
Dakara Motto
Dakara Motto
We apologize for forgetting to post yesterday. It wasn't very dakara motto of us.
#i am speaking for us all because yeah lmao#of any of the other mods dont agree with my declaration then spam me on discord#dakara motto#daily mmj#mmj#more more jump#pjsk#prjsk#project sekai#airi momoi#haruka kiritani#minori hanasato#shizuku hinomori#mod 🌕🐰#mod shizuku
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hux lives rent free in my head but he pays rent anyway because he's so fucking annoying.
#˚ ⁀ out of character -------------- 𝚒.#( coming back to tumblr with a character you've written on discord for years is wild )#( because wtf do you mean that you don't know he's vegan and got shot in the chest one time for not giving a homeless person a 5 dollar bill#( like how do you not know that he did track in school and also has a verse where he's a surgeon and also and addict like? )#( the world creating on discord meets tumblr and i get all fucking stuck trying to remember how to bring them together again )#( the vegan thing is true and that's because Delilah Dawson agreed with me and she's the only validation I will ever need )#( im rereading empires end and phasma and the lot to get back into the spirit )
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i wish i was good at art so people would be interested in my ocs.
except that's a lie. i don't even really enjoy making art besides doodles. what i love is writing. so i think what i actually want is for everyone to fall in love with reading.
and like obviously i get it. im weird. i spent a large part of my youth reading wikis for games i never played, shows i never watched. i still do tbh. i have always loved seeking out superfluous information. bc it was *like* reading a story, except you only had the separate pieces and had to put them together like puzzle to get the whole story
it's a bit like history, now that i think about it.
and i LOVE finding somebody who has OCs with thousands of words of backstory. that's the fastest way to get me interested. a simple doodle and then a wiki entry of information.
idk. i guess im just venting a bit. it feels a bit unfair. every pro-OC post is geared towards artists. people who love to draw. but I just don't. i mean yeah i like making little doodles, but frankly it's about the same enjoyment i get from solving basic math equations.
and fucking obviously i love and treasure all my artist friends. if you are seeing this and you love to draw your OCs, I love you. I would never begrudge you your happiness.
it's times like these i wish forums hadn't really died out. i want a community. i want to make that connection. but i feel ignored bc my talents don't align with the current state of things in the greater community.
whatever. whatever. i just hate venting bc i worry about making people feel bad but sometimes I feel bad. and ive never been able to talk about feeling bad without getting yelled at. Which isn't healthy, of course, and I know that, and Im slowly trying to break the habit of just shoving it down. and Ive had a drink so im willing to be more open so uh. there, i guess. i feel like dogshit that i have neither the energy nor the inclination to draw my OCs and that it's literally fucking impossible to get your OCs noticed through writing. nothing really to be done about it. that's just how life goes. not all hobbies are meant for all people.
#titi talks#vent#all the time in my youth i would tell myself I'd just get good at drawing and then draw so-and-so idea#but it's been like a decade now. so frankly i think it's just not going to happen#like i said ive had a drink (and a strong one at that) so my ability to reason is slightly impaired#but ive mostly accepted it. ive swallowed down the bitter pill that nobody but me cares#and it's not like i haven't tried art! but it just takes so much goddamn energy to produce a result worth anything#my arts a bit shit. and that's fine! no shame in that#but it hurts a lot to post into a discord art channel#that has a RULE that you must acknowledge the previous poster's art before you may post your own#and STILL get fucking ignored. like they broke the rules to ignore you and everyone after agreed with it#or when you say 'this is the one thing I am proud of being able to draw'#and somebody you hold in high esteem goes#'hey do you wanna see me do that better and in a quarter of the time?'#AND AGAIN THIS IS NOT TO DISPARAGE THOSE WHOSE TALENT IS IN ART#YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND VALUABLE#i just wish *I* had some value#my talents earn me nothing. and it hurts.#and ive even stopped writing bc i don't have the energy often#and even if i did it's not like anybody gives half a shit
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