#me and my persons
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slow down for your disabled friends. thats like a bare minimum kindness that we shouldnt have to ask for. i love that youre so quirky and walking fast is a cool personality trait to you and all that but i bet you can count your physically disabled friends on less than one hand
#in a perfect world the move im gay meme would be about being fat or having a mobility aid and people just standing in your way in public#my bemoanings#debated posting this but itd be nice to have some solidarity where my mobility aid users at who have not a lot of good outside friends#also if youre a friend of mine who is worried that you might be the person in the comic im gonna be real#MULTIPLE ppl have said this exact thing to me and id rather you just slow down next time. dont come to me asking for forgiveness or smth#also straight up the person in this comic i havent seen for years because they were mean to me anyways
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My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.
#personal#back to work tomorrow prepare thyself#i have had other adults try to take my phone away ask if I have a tardy pass the aforementioned detention incident-#THE LIST GOES ON#i usually get an apology after they realize im twenty fucking six but sometimes im like#....if you need to apologize this profusely for talking to me like that when you realized i wasn't a student#maybe you shouldn't be talking to the students like that either?#i get it they're irritating as hell but like. as soon as you realized i could report you for yelling at me the way u just did#u HELLA backtracked.#maybe some self reflection is in order?
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
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I can behave normally around books
#shitpost#anyway guess who brought home 24 new books today?#if you guessed me. well. you would be correct#in my defense I only bought 5#for a combined total of usd#where’d the number go. it was 17 usd#the rest were from me going through what my dad was getting rid of for space and claiming it for myself#but either way#24 in one day is a personal record I think#also I do fully intend to read all of these it’s not hoarding for hoardings sake
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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1 minute of washing machine time is like 10 minutes human time. they live on a completely different scale that we could never begin to conceptualize
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interaction i have with shocking regularity is when someone’s complaining abt someone they know and theyre like “ughh they’re 21 and dont have a job and refuse to learn to drive” and then they remember who they’re talking to (me. 21 cant work cant drive) and go like

#text#‘ur situation is different’ Do u know Their situation enough to say that lol#also like. be srs if u didnt know me ud think the same way abt me. Do u think this abt me subconsciously?? guessing yes#The only person who HASNT made me feel like this and has actually articulated what they meant in a way that didnt feel like a dig#at me was 💫 last night hence why its on my mind
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Following the author of The Last Unicorn on Facebook is the only thing that makes being on that site worthwhile.
(source)
#hope#good things#not me crying as one of the founding pillars of my core personality trembles at recognition from its creator#wholly believe this guy and this story he wrote are the reasons i became a writer#but this too is in the story#and i internalized it so deep#this is why my blog is the way it is#this is why i believe as long as there is one of us left standing with hope#that we stand a chance
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#and to my bpd followers#believe me you're not a burden#bpd#borderline personality disorder#bpd awareness
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Odysseus: Penelope I am not the same person you fell in love with, I have done terrible things to get home. I understand if you can’t accept the monstrous things I have done-
Penelope: cool, could you please move this wedding bed
Odysseus: what, no!
Penelope: that’s my husband
Odysseus: Penelope I have killed so many
Penelope: I don’t give a shit
Odysseus: I sacrificed my crew-
Penelope: And I would’ve done the same
Odysseus: I am covered in the blood of the suitors
Penelope: and you look fantastic
Odysseus: I TORTURED A GOD ON HIS OWN WEAPON
Penelope: and that was incredibly sexy of you
#epic the musical#Odysseus: I am not the man you fell in love with#Penelope: L + Ratio + Don’t tell me you’re not the same person + You're always my husband and I've been waiting
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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Time capsule peek to my MP3-player 22 years ago
I found all my 4 different MP3-players from the 2000s and I'd like to give the list of the songs that they hold, first one being the oldest, Samsung YEPP-player, model YP-55 in silver and blue, powered with 1xAAA battery and with the memory capacity of 126MB. Served me well, I think, little less that 2 years when I got the second one. This one I got back in 2002-03
Song list below under cut!
X-Japan - Longing
L'Arc-en-Ciel - Stab me in the back
L'Arc-en-Ciel - What is Love
Booty Bass - Shake that ass B'tch
X-Japan - Crucify my Love (<- my very first J-rock song I fell in love with back somewhere around 1999-2001)
Dir en Grey - Yurameki
Dr. Bombay - My sitar (unironically I like this song xD)
Dr. Bombay - Safari
L'Arc-en-Ciel - Forbidden Lover
M-Flo - Hands
Ouran High school Host Club - Sakura Kiss (Kiss Kiss fall in Love)
Siam Shade - Tears I cried
X-Japan - The Lat Song
X-Japan - Drain
X-Japan - DAHLIA
X-Japan/Yoskiki - Goodbye
X-Japan - Forever love (my other 4ever most loved J-rock song from same time as Crucify my love/not to brag but I know almost completely this 8min long song by heart 8D)
Yaida Hitomi - 37,0*C
X-Japan - Without you
Thought? (And prayers, I think.)
#2000s retro mp3 player#samsung YEPP#blast from the past#I was J-rock weeaboo I guess#And still a J-rock weeaboo mind you#me and my persons#blueska
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it was all so simple then
#arcane#jayce talis#viktor#jayvik#ever makes art#divorce era is my favorite but i keep drawing academy jvk lol#it's fun thinking about their everyday lab life during the 7 yr timeskip and all the little ways they spent time together#getting on each others nerves and eating weird snacks and having breakthroughs and building nonsense devices while waiting for results#also i dont think u can spend 7 years in one room with jayce Physical Touch talis and not get a little comfy sharing personal space#edit: yes i get it know 100 people told me they thought i drew viktor throwing ass. im tryna be a good sport about it but pls stop already
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My last post was being snarky but here's my genuine pronoun etiquette opinion in case you actually want to know: it's pretty much never a good idea to directly ask someone their pronouns in front of a group of people, especially if you're in a position of authority, i.e. a teacher. The stakes of this question are very high for some people and you are putting them on the spot to decide what they want to share and what is safe to share. If you have decided you want to ask for pronouns at all, you can introduce yourself with your own to remind people that they can share theirs if they want to. And for the love of god whatever you do please do not just single out the most gender non-conforming or "trans looking" (to you) person and ask only them and no one else
#obligatory disclaimer this is just my personal opinion/experience. i shouldn't have to say I don't speak for everyone but obviously i don't#but it keeps happening to me so#and sometimes by other trans people!
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When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.
Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.
So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.
Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.
One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.
It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."
The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.
Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.
It missed my lilac by inches.
The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.
I think next year, I'll see flowers.
#aese speaks#a little personal story for you all#the origin of my life-long relationship with lilacs#i've been a garden witch since i was very small! (:#green witch#garden witch#garden magic#the lilac post#hello to everyone reading the og tags on this:#it's a metaphor it's a true story it's real it's fiction it's a poem it's me rambling it's whatever you think it is#30k
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donating my heavily annotated copy of house of leaves to the local library so that the person reading it gets a 5th layer of narrative to be confused by
#and then the person who reads it does the same until the patrons of my library have out house of leaved house of leaves#or they track me down and we fall in love#house of leaves#actually would do this tbh if my copy of house of leaves wasnt my comfort object#litrature#booklr
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