#me and matthias love this sound

[ksuhi13]

Me when Nina's stomach growled

[cantsayidont]

March–April 2024. A very strange, frequently tasteless, mostly inexplicable black comedy political satire from the creator of SUCCESSION — though more strongly reminiscent, presumably on purpose, of the 2017 THE DEATH OF STALIN — THE REGIME is a six-part miniseries starring a self-consciously frumpy-looking, outrageously hammy Kate Winslet as Elena Vernham, the egomaniacal authoritarian chancellor of an unnamed Ruritanian state somewhere in Central Europe.

As her hapless husband (Guillaume Gallienne) and self-dealing underlings tiptoe around her growing list of neuroses and increasingly erratic mood swings, a soldier named Herbert Zubak (Matthias Schoenaerts), notorious for his role in a brutal massacre of striking mine workers, is recruited to play a hard-to-define, ever-shifting supporting role in Elena's ongoing psychological breakdown and various political confrontations.

Winslet seems to have been having fun, although she overacts shamelessly, and what accent she thinks she's doing seems to vary from moment to moment; the median could best be described as "Margaret Thatcher, very tipsy, trying to pretend she's not sucking on an Everlasting Gobstopper." Schoenaerts, for reasons that are never clear, plays Zubak like a punch-drunk boxer trying to walk off a life-threatening concussion, leaving his character a perplexing cipher throughout.

Like THE DEATH OF STALIN (which I thought wildly overrated), THE REGIME is more often crass and uncomfortable than actually funny, and its smug misogyny would be offensive if taken seriously (which is admittedly very difficult). Also, given the current state of the UK, watching the largely British cast mock the political instability of a fictitious "Middle European" autocracy causes some seasickness. (Whistling past the graveyard, perhaps, but still.) CONTAINS LESBIANS? No! VERDICT: Much more "funny strange" than "funny ha-ha," and because it's basically a one-note joke, it becomes like one of those terrible SNL skits that just won't end.

[nymphea0]

The Duke And His secret

Yan! Matthias x Reader

Oneshot Story.

Warnings : mentions of nudity, use of power, mention of sleeping pills, Bird corpse, some light mature content.

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Manhwa : 울어 봐, 빌어도 좋고.Cry, Even Better if You Beg. Cry, Even if You Pray.

Author & Ilustration : Solche & Van J.

Word Count : 3.25K word.

Hi Neva again... i didn't post any story a few days ago, mybe? i always forget that i have a tumblr TvT... hope you all are doing well and having a nice day, i never expected my last story character manhwa Ishakan will be liked so much, i'm glad you all like my story, mybe after this story i will update Ishakan's story soon.

Well, for your information. Solche, the author who made Cry, Even Better if You Beg. Has 3 other stories too!, Solche has a style of writing stories in dark romance but realistic version? I'm not so sure. And all the stories, every ML character is a complex character in each of the 3 stories, Matthias is the darkest black character among them all, He is the definition of Black Fleg, not a red flag, but black!, I wonder if you all like it if I write this character again? Like Bastian and Bjorn?.

might have some bad grammars, correct me if there are any mistakes in the words in the story I wrote. Anyways i hope you all enjoys my first oneshot story,love.- Neva🦋🦋

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12-xx-01xx

Birds chirp throughout the Arvis paradise forest, so green and beautiful, so fertile and very pleasing to the eye to see every corner.

But the beauty must be broken by the loud sound of the nobles' annual hunting rifles in the Arvis region.

The sound of horse hooves and the barking of hunting dogs accompany every corner of the Arvis paradise forest.

Three pairs of teenagers are running along the outskirts of the road that is indeed not passed by the nobles.

Layla Llewellyn, Kyle Etman, and you.

Each of you holds a small shovel to bury every bird carcass from the nobles' hunt that lies pitifully along the hunting path.

"They're crazy! How could they be so relaxed hunting such beautiful animals!" Again, it will always be like this, where Layla will complain and cry, and Kyle will calm her down, while you, well you just sigh and dirty your dress.

Lyla is the niece of the gardener of the Arvis residence, Kyle is the son of a doctor, while you, you are just the daughter of an Earl from an empire quite far from the Berg empire.

Your soft and smooth white dress is now dirty from the dirt from the action of burying the bird's corpse, while Kyle is busy calming the crying Lyla.

While you are busy digging the ground you feel someone watching you, slowly raising your head, looking straight there your Amethyst eyes collide with sky-blue eyes, the eyes of the young duke of Arvis, Matthias Von Herhardt, Arvis's perfect work from the Berg empire, a skilled hunter, the , Lyla's natural enemy who loves birds.

There he is, on his horse, still fully dressed for hunting, tall, handsome and masculine, no wonder all the women in Berg want to marry him.

That's what's in your mind, you just stare at him for a moment then go back to burying the bodies of these poor birds.

"Come on Lyla, there's no point in crying, let's bury them properly"

Kyle's voice was very loud but gentle when calming Lyla who was busy crying

In the end you spent the afternoon together burying the carcasses of birds from the nobles' annual hunt.

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Walking in your now dirty white dress, it was certain that the maids and especially your mother would scold you.

Lyla she just looked at you and smiled guiltily with Kyle beside her who also looked at you guiltily.

"Well, you guys should take me to hidden places in this Arvis forest, as payment for me burying all the bird corpses" Kyle and Lyla spoke softly excitedly, especially Lyla who hugged you tightly.

"Of course!! We will definitely take you to a place you've never seen!"

Look at these two cinnamon rolls, they are so cute!.

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You still remember when you first arrived in the Berg Empire, the Arvis region, your mother's hometown. Your father is an Earl who fell in love with your mother, the daughter of a Baron from Arvis, they met at the annual event of nobles from all over the world held in the Berg Empire.

From their love you came, your father loves and cares for you very much, you inherited your mother's soft and beautiful face, while the rest, like snow-white hair, and your Amethyst Eyes you got from your father.

The combination of your father and mother, this is also what makes your grandmother and grandfather spoil and love you very much, they are like seeing your father but the female version.

In addition to the fact that your father loves your mother and you very much, your father made a small agenda that every 2 years you, your mother, and your father, will visit the Berg Empire, your mother's hometown Arvis.

The baron's residence is very different from the earl's residence where you live, if the Earl's residence is full of white buildings that have intricate carvings and statues that you will wonder which is the main residence, then the Baron's residence is only a 2-story building that is not so big with a fairly large yard.

Well, whatever it is, home is home.

That was when you first met Lyla and Kayle, at that time you were still 11 years old, and now you are 14 years old.

This is the second time you have visited your mother's hometown. For you, Arvis is beautiful, especially the forest, but your instincts say that behind the beauty there must always be ugliness that is hidden tightly, but you don't know what the ugliness is.

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After separating from Lyla and Kyle, you were scolded by your mother to the fullest. That is a sign that your mother loves you very much.

While your father just laughed out loud seeing your condition.

"Well, I thought our stray kitten likes to explore Tera, look at her hair, Hahaha" laughing out loud until he almost spilled the coffee in his hand.

"Don't defend her Vincent! This could become a habit!"

Finally you and your father knelt down with your mother holding a broom standing upright scolding the two of you who were behaving immaturely and childishly. The baron's residence is as comfortable as Arvis' heaven and the servants greatly adore your harmonious family atmosphere which is very different from other nobles.

Your father's name is Vincent Zeredith Von Alvern. A noble from an empire quite far from the Berg Empire.

Your mother's name is Teresa Von Adelaide.

Your father is a noble with the title of earl of the Alvern Territory.

And your mother is the daughter of a baron from the Berg Empire, the Arvis Territory, the Adelaide Baron family.

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The afternoon where this is your second day in Arvis, you visit the Berg Empire, Meet the emperor and empress.

After visiting your father and mother let you go exploring within a period of only the Arvis forest and nothing more.

Running excitedly, the lilac dress that fits your body moves gently in the wind, Your snow-white hair moves gently as you run, you wait at the usual place where Lyla and Kyle and you chatted 2 years ago, at a large tree, a willow tree.

You stood under a willow tree looking around the beautiful Arvis Lake, butterflies flying around you, various colors.

You sat looking at Arvis Lake while waiting for Lyla and Kyle to come.

Unfortunately you did not know and did not realize that, at Arvis Lake, someone had been watching you closely.

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Matthias as usual at the age of 17, did his noble routine as a duke of Arvis and.

That afternoon was very hot, naked, Matthias swam around Arvis Lake in the Annex, a private place that not many people visited, while swimming, Matthias saw the willow tree that Layla usually sat on, the same tree where he caught Layla accidentally seeing him swimming naked.

For Matthias Layla was just an ordinary girl, a girl who went through a normal life path in Arvis.

expert layla what matthias saw was you, busy laughing softly playing with the butterflies around you, your long and soft white hair for matthias was like snow in spring.

If lyla is the sun and a little bird, then you are snow and a kitten.

Matthias already knows you even if you don't know him.

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Imperial palace berg

Matthias, 11 years old.

With his mother Elysee von herhardt, and his grandmother Norma Catharina Von herhardt, chatting with various nobles from all over the empire.

Looking around matthias' eyes accidentally saw the other side of the room where he saw a girl who he thought was 8 years old.

A petite body, a soft and smooth blue dress, the type of noble child in general, but that white hair, for matthias it was like the white color of snow.

Time passed quite a long time, but the main event was not over yet, bored looking around and only chatting with the old noble. Matthias excused himself to go to the imperial garden.

Tak

Tak

Tak

The sound of his leather shoes with quite sharp heels made quite a loud noise in the middle of his journey to the garden.

Upon arriving at the garden, Matthias saw the girl again, the same girl he saw at the imperial party.

There the girl stood in the middle of the rose garden, busy looking at the roses that were as red as blood, a stark contrast to her snow-white hair.

Whether he realized it or not, little Matthias was already by the side of the girl who stole his attention.

"Do you like roses?"

In Matthias' entire life, it had never occurred to him to start a conversation first, but here he was, talking to a girl who he estimated was not that far from him.

The white-haired girl turned around and looked at Matthias in confusion.

Bright amethyst eyes met sky-blue eyes. Purple and blue.

Matthias in his life he had never seen someone with amethyst eyes like the girl in front of him.

Usually the colors he saw were hazel, gray, yellow, blue, dark blue, and green, but purple... that was something new.

The snow-haired girl answered.

"I like it, why ask?"

Matthias was not sure but as if his mouth moved on its own and answered.

"I also like roses just like you"

That night. Matthias never asked the name of the snow-haired girl with purple Amethyst eyes.

Neither his mother nor grandmother knew that he met a girl who was not much different from him, at the annual noble event in the corner of the world.

For Matthias the snow-white-haired girl with purple amethyst eyes was his secret, his little secret that he didn't want people to know.

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Matthias swam in the Arvis lake, annex, staring at you who was busy looking at butterflies, not realizing that someone was staring at you.

He saw you 2 days ago, with the doctor's son and the gardener's nephew, for Matthias Kyle is a volatile teenager, Layla is an ordinary girl and you, for Matthias you are noble lady who befriends a commoner? Clearly that is a deviation from social life of aristocrat.

A deviant noblewoman who hangs out with commoners.

Busy burying the carcasses of birds hunted by nobles and himself.

For Matthias, Layla is a girl who likes to cry, is troublesome and goes the wrong way.

And you for Matthias are a deviant noble lady, who really likes to dirty your dress, you look like a cat who is not aware of being covered in mud all over her body.

Chuckling softly, how could he forget you. you, the same girl he met 6 years ago, his little secret.

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That afternoon you were busy playing with Lyla and Kayle, walking slowly along the Arvis forest path or people call it Arvis heaven.

Busy staring at the wild flowers and you saw a wild rose bush, with white and pink colors that clashed. Once again you ruined your dress, well anyway the roses were beautiful and you didn't expect a white stray kitten to be caught there.

Feeling pity and sympathy you knelt down which made your dress that was already torn by the thorns of the wild bushes become even more damaged by the dirt of the ground, slowly releasing the white kitten. which was caught between the tendrils of wild grass you didn't even realize that your chain bracelet with amethyst diamonds was caught there, fortunately there were no wounds on the cute cat, you put the kitten gently on the ground.

The white kitten was busy licking its tiny feet, you had to restrain yourself from squeezing and kissing the kitten affectionately.

You were busy admiring the white kitten until you didn't realize a horse neighing sound was right not far behind you, you turned around slowly, there you saw, the young duke Arvis in his hunting suit, you saw him holding his rifle, the rifle was pointing right in the middle of the position, between you and the white kitten.

You felt that this young duke wanted to hunt the kitten, quickly you stood up and in a position to block the duke's rifle

"Don't! Duke do you also hunt a cats?! Aren't birds enough for you?"

Looking annoyed at the duke arvis who had now gotten off his horse.

Walking slowly the young duke arvis stopped in front of you, he was tall, sturdy and fit, the body type of a trained soldier.

You were only as tall as his chest, amethyst and blue eyes collided with each other.

"Duke? Do you know who I am?" A soft and deep voice came from the duke in front of you.

"Who doesn't know the duke, the perfect work of god from the arvis region, the young duke herhardt, Matthias Von Herhardt"

You answered casually which was answered by a chuckle from him.

You almost wanted to slap his face, you didn't know why but you didn't like the way he chuckled! Just almost.

"You know me, but I don't know you, why don't you introduce yourself to me?" Matthias' soft but deep baritone voice spoke to you.

You introduced yourself to him.

"Which family are you from?" Matthias asked you again.

"Alvern, Roshanette Empire, Alvern Territory"

Answering casually because you don't want to be familiar with this man!.

Silence fell on the two people, the man was busy staring at the woman, while the woman was busy staring at the kitten that was right under his left foot.

Because you didn't want to linger there with the young duke Arvis, you gently picked up the kitten.

"Nice to meet you, Duke, have a nice day"

Then you went to take the kitten away from him.

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Matthias he was still standing there staring at the place where you were standing in front of him.

You were so small, so fragile, Matthias was sure that if he touched an inch of your hand, maybe you would be crushed in his grip.

When he was about to return to his horse, Matthias' eyes accidentally caught the soft gleam of the wild grass tendrils.

Walking slowly towards the weeds, crouching down and there Matthias saw, the diamond chain bracelet that had an amethyst color was caught around the weeds.

Grinning slowly, Matthias took the bracelet, even when the bracelet was in his hand, it was very small, Matthias measured the hole of the bracelet on his finger, and it only fit 3 fingers.

Chuckling softly Matthias returned to his horse while carrying the item he took happily and he was not sure whether to return it or not.

Unfortunately for Matthias that was the last time you and him met.

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7 years, 7 years Matthias has not seen you, he still keeps your bracelet that he stole secretly take and never returned to you.

For 7 long years, he had to go through 2 years of war, a time when he pretended to be engaged to his distant cousin, Claudine, many rumors fell on him saying that he was playing behind his back with Lyla, the gardener's niece just because Matthias liked to make her cry like accidentally throwing her hat to the lake and almost drowned.

Or hunted migratory animals just to say the sentence that Layla was just an ordinary girl and to make layla know her place .

His engagement with Claudine ended in failure because Claudine loved Rittie, her other distant cousin.

And the engagement between Layla and Kyle, 2 unstable teenagers who were strange in Matthias' eyes.

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That night Matthias, his grandmother and his mother ate quietly, only the sound of spoons and forks could be heard

"Matthias, how long will you continue to reject proposals from several noble families?"

Elysee his mother looked at Matthias with tired eyes.

While his grandmother just chuckled softly.

"Are you really with that garden girl ?!"

Elysee stared at Matthias' eyes uneasy.

Matthias he just ate and drank quietly he didn't even answer his mother's question.

"Matthias Von Herhardt! Answer your mother!." Staring fiercely at Matthias, her only child, Elysee, gripped the fork and knife tightly in her hands.

"Mother, even flies will be attracted to dirt rather than rumors of nobles"

Matthias spoke with an authoritative language, if traced, Matthias said that did his mother prefer to hear rumors of nobles that were not true?

Before Elysee had time to speak, Matthias said again.

"1 month, give me 1 month, and I will bring a wife, mother"

After saying that, Matthias left the dining room.

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You, 21 years old, very young and beautiful, you are currently at the age where noble ladies get married.

But instead of getting married, your parents asked you to focus on studying and pursuing your dreams, make yourself happy and have fun.

You are studying medicine, mental health and psychology.

You are currently in the Berg Empire, after 7 years of never returning.

Unlike 7 years ago where you were with your parents, this time you were alone, considering you were old enough.

You visited only for a moment, to see Kyle and Lyla who were getting married.

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Currently you were at the baron's residence of your mother's family, even though your grandparents had passed away, the baron's residence was still well maintained.

You spent the remaining 2 days shopping and helping Layla.

The 3rd day, you spent your time in the Arvis forest alone.

Staring around the forest that you passed through 7 years ago with Kyle and Layla, you didn't expect that now they would be getting married.

You stared at a flock of birds flying, until you felt a cold metal object pressing against the back of your head.

Turning slowly, exactly about 3 feet away, stood the duke of Arvis, Matthias von Herhardt! The man you least wanted to meet!

Matthias stood in all his glory pointing his hunting rifle at you.

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Matthias thinks you are too much, leaving without saying goodbye and then coming so suddenly, how can he be calm when his heart beats so fast just by muttering your name, just by seeing you breathe.

You haven't changed at all, for Matthias you are still the white-haired girl, the noble lady who got into the hang out with commoners, and the noble lady who is like a stray cat who likes to dirty her dress with dirt and mud.

"Duke, do you intend to kill me?"

Asking Matthias carefully.

Instead of lowering his muzzle, Matthias chuckled and said

"Why is that? Are you afraid of me?"

You looked at Matthias in disgust.

"Everyone would be afraid if a stranger suddenly pointed a gun at their head"

Again, Matthias only answered with a laugh that seemed to be mocking you.

"Well, it's not wrong"

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Unfortunately, that afternoon you spent being forced to accompany Matthias hunting! He used his authority, saying that you were in his territory, and someone who was not from this territory had to obey the orders of the one who held the highest position.

You felt like slapping, hitting, and swearing at the man sitting on his horse! As for you?! You were walking holding his rifle that you were sure weighed almost 4 kg!

This duke is crazy! He must be the incarnation of the devil!

"Lady, are you cursing me?" Matthias grinned slightly, looking down at where you were walking while holding his rifle.

"I'm not the duke, why should I even do that?"

Answering half-truthfully. You almost rolled your eyes in annoyance!

Matthias he just grinned slightly looking at you, it was very clear to him that you were cursing him, it was very entertaining for him, your expression really wanted to make him bite your cheek in annoyance. He had to be patient, just a little longer, and you would be his.

That afternoon you spent your time reluctantly becoming Matthias' assistant.

You are only 5 days in the Berg Empire after that you will return to the Roshanette Empire, Alvern region.

Unfortunately for you it seems like it was just a dream for you.

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You don't know what what happened to you, after becoming Matthias's hunting rifle assistant that afternoon, right when Matthias was taking you back to Baron Adelaide's residence.

You felt like your head was hit by a very hard object, before you even had time to be inside the residence, you only saw darkness and a warm arm hugging you.

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The Annex, another residence in the main area of ​​the Herhardt residence, was Matthias's main house, Matthias's main residence as a duke and where he relaxed and was himself. Surrounded by the clear Arvis lake which was connected by a pier that was integrated with his residence in the Annex.

Slowly smoking a tobacco cigarette, Matthias stared at you there, his little secret, sleeping soundly in his bed.

Matthias knew this was wrong, but he couldn't help himself, he had held himself back enough, looking around the room, which was currently very messy, furniture was destroyed, clothes were scattered, and the bed was very messy.

Matthias has claimed you as his, maybe you will hate him, but Matthias doesn't care, it took him 7 years to realize that he loves you, love? Matthias wanted to laugh so much, in his entire life, he never thought he could fall in love and feel love.

Slowly extinguishing his cigarette, Matthias walked towards the bed, opening your legs a little, that's where Matthias saw the remaining traces of your love activities left behind.

Chuckling softly, Matthias looked at you, your eyes were swollen from crying, even though you were on sleeping pills, you were still able to refuse him.

Looking at your ring finger which now has a diamond ring embedded in it.

Tomorrow Matthias will marry you, make you Duchess Herhardt and tell your parents in the Roshanette Empire, that their child is married.

Matthias only needs 1 week to find a wife, which is you, and 1 month is a phrase that Matthias plays with and gives to his mother as another form of sentence, namely

"In 1 month I will give you a grandson and bring a wife , so be patient mother, soon you will have daughter in law and became a grandma".

Matthias has got you, his, his life, his woman, his wife, the mother of his children, his little secret.

Even if you try to run away from him, Matthias will lock you away from the outside world, whatever it is you are his.

Kissing your forehead softly, Matthias looks at you with love, passion and a deep sense of possessiveness and obsession.

You are his little secret, his secret that he really doesn't want anyone else to see, hear or interact with. Because you are his.

His secret, his little secret.

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*Source Image : pinterest

*Source Image : pinterest

*Source Image : pinterest

©️Nymphea0 2024 ,OG story, Project Dark Manhwa Character Oneshot.

Special Story for my Love; @snowflakes666 @nerdygoateepeanut

Tag list; @blurryperrtymoonlight @luminethebest @scenicelixir @n4muqr @cannyyyyy @athena-roy @sirenetheblogger

Please dont steal my work, or use without my permissions , Always be good people Dear. Much love , Neva🦋🦋.

[graaaaaayy]

Incorrect Crows

jesper : relationships should be 50/50. wylan cooks us dinner while i sit on the counter and look pretty. ____________________________________

kaz : goodnight to the love of my life, Inej and fuck the rest of y’all. ____________________________________ Jesper: From now on we will be using code names. Jesper: You can address me as Eagle One. Jesper: Kaz is “been there done that”. Jesper: Wylan is “currently doing that”. Jesper: Matthias is “it happened once in a dream”. Jesper: Nina is “if I had to pick a girl”. Jesper: And Inej is.. Jesper: Eagle Two Inej: Oh thank god. ____________________________________

The crows’ reaction to being told they're the chosen one Wylan : I will not let you down. Jesper: Sounds fun. Inej : K. Kaz : No, I'm fucking not. Nina: Do I have to be? Matthias: Please god, I am so tired.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

So there’s something about Pekka Rollins that has bothered me literally since I first read the books and I think about it every time I read them okay and it’s this line:

“Who is Pekka Rollins?” Matthias asked, turning the ridiculous syllables over in his mouth. Kerch names had no dignity to them.

And this catches me out every single time because Rollins is Kaelish. As far as the reader knows for definite, “Pekka Rollins” is a Kaelish name, not a Kerch name.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we’re of course aware that Matthias is very sheltered from understanding the global scene and may simply have assumed that Rollins is Kerch because he lives in Ketterdam and runs the Dime Lions (this is the only piece of information he knows about him at this time) but I think this is unlikely considering that it was on a mission to the Wandering Isle that he met Nina and we know that, although he doesn’t speak Kaelish, he knows how to recognise it well enough that he knew Nina was speaking Kaelish and not Kerch or Ravkan (at the time he was monolingual, as he would later only learn Kerch by necessity in Hellgate).

And thinking about the name “Pekka Rollins” it doesn’t sound all that Kaelish… does it? Our examples of Kaelish names include “Fianna” (Nina’s Kaelish pseudonym at the Ice Court), “Colm”, “Eamon” (Dime Lions member), and “Harshaw”, but not many others to my recollection. Kaelish names are inspired by Celtic languages and Celtic names, as far as I can tell usually with more Irish and Scottish Gaelic influences than Welsh, Cornish, or Breton (but please note I am by no means an expert and I sadly do not speak any of these languages), and we can see this trend in our examples. But can we see it in “Pekka Rollins”? Or does this name favour the structure of Kerch names? “Kaz”, “Per”, “Wylan”, “Alys”, “Hiram”, “Gert”, “Henrik”, “Jellen”, and so many many more examples, we are overflowing with examples of Kerch names (if you are wondering about more examples I’d recommend checking out the Grishaverse wiki there’s a full list on there of all the characters mentioned from each country, but note it doesn’t include any pseudonyms as far as I’m aware), that tend to favour more separated syllables and harsher consonant sounds than, say, “Fianna” where the name runs quickly together, pronounced to have two syllables when it would probably be said with three by someone Kerch who only saw it written down, with more emphasis on the “yah” sound of the “ia” than the double “n”?

So is it, in fact, possible that “Pekka Rollins” is a Kerch name? A chosen name, by a man who fled his home to restart his life in a new city, with a name that matched it? Is this supposed to imply yet another parallel between Pekka and Kaz?????

I have no idea, this is purely theoretical, but considering that they are narrative foils and we can draw many, many parallels between them and this line is always on my mind, it’s personally my favourite solution. If you agree/disagree or have a different theory, let me know! I love stuff like this so much, it’s so interesting to see what different people think or how we might have read certain details differently

[eggsaladstain]

the darkling said i have loved and lost and i can bear it no longer, i will close my heart to anyone who is not like me, love is weakness, love is heartache, the joy of loving them is not worth the pain of losing them and i would spare her from this pain even if she hates me for it

and alina said i have loved him and i will lose him but not today, i have sacrificed everything but i will not sacrifice him, not again, i will bring him back to me no matter the cost, even if i have to let him go in the end

and mal said i have loved her my whole life but i don’t know who i am without her, i want a life of my own even if it means i have to leave her, but i will go trusting that i will be able to find my way back to her as i always have

and genya said i have loved him and i do not regret saving him but it came at a terrible cost, i have wandered underground in the dark with only the sound of his heartbeat guiding the way, i have survived unimaginable horrors and i am strong enough to survive losing him too

and david said i have loved her without knowing how to show it but i would like to try, i know metal and she is stronger than steel and more beautiful than rubies or emeralds, i have never known anyone braver and i regret leaving her side before, but i will do it just once more if it means i can save her

and wylan said i have loved him even knowing it might never be anything more, i left him the first time but i’m not leaving now, i want to hear about his day and i want to tell him about mine

and jesper said i have loved him all while hiding a part of myself but i will hide no longer, i do not know where this journey will lead us but i would like to find out, i have spent my life gambling and i will take a gamble on this

and nina said i have loved him even as he hates me, i have condemned him to save him and i will not rest until i am able to free him

and matthias said i have loved her despite a lifetime at war against her people, i should have known better than to trust her but i let myself anyway, she betrayed me and i should hate her but it’s not just hatred that i feel when i dream of her in the night

and inej said i have loved him as his shadow, close enough to be near but never touching, i want more for us and i will not settle for less, i will have him completely or not at all and i will not wait, i will live my own life with the freedom he gave me and we will meet again one day when i choose to return

and kaz said i have loved her when i could not love myself, i do not believe in saints but i believe in her, i have lost my brother and i would do anything to make sure she doesn’t have to suffer the same, i have given everything so she could have her freedom and i would rather watch her walk away than ever hold her back, i will wait for her and i will miss her every moment she’s not beside me, but i will try to make myself a better man by the time she returns

and sankta neyar said i have loved and lost and i will gladly do it again, i once closed my heart but no longer, i will endure the pain of losing my husband by cherishing the memories of the life we shared, may you all find a love that brings you joy that will outlive the pain, my love is my strength and my universe, i have lived for hundreds of years and what i have learned is this: there is only love, it is the only thing that matters and it is enough

[scenesniper]

Hello hello, good day to you! If you don't mind may I request general headcanons for Matthias? (I got attached to him pretty quickly after multiple successful kites)

Tysm!

☆ matthias czernin ; general sfw & nsfw headcanons

pairing / matthias czernin x afab gn! reader

disclaimer / mention of blowjobs, finger fucking, tit fucking, dry humping

word count / 1,005 words

author's note / thank you anon, i'm having a good day i hope you are as well! i've been meaning to write about matthias for awhile (really, he's been in my drafts for a month now) so getting this request made me more motivated to finish.

SFW

☆ ”welcome, to the outstanding show..” a human so stiff as if he’s a puppet, he could easily be mistaken as one indeed. if there was no puppet in sigh, there’d be no telling that he was truly the puppeteer in charge.

☆ matthias czernin, a gloomy man with his drooped eyes that’d have mothers clutching their children’s shoulders as they walk past by him in the street, whispering, ”don’t look at him..” he looks almost unremarkable at first glance but if not for that burnt side of his.

☆ he’s not one to talk much, his expression seemingly to wander elsewhere and his eyes looking downwards. he’s one that lacks self confidence and self respect but oh, he so badly wants a sense of normalcy in this life. a mundane life.

��� his uncertainty and hesitance towards commitment is clear, even after developing a relationship firsthand. he’s riddled with insecurities but god, does he love the idea of pursuing a romantic relationship. something that he’s lacked his entire life. he’d like it if you could meet him, outside of his family, his personal life. outside of ever meeting louis.

☆ matthias would certainly be lacking in the romantic field but he’d be a romantic at heart, albeit shy and very discreetly. fleeting, hidden touches of your hands in the dark or under covers. he’s not one to necessarily initiate, nor really enraptured with physical touch. however, he’d notice there’d be days where he would miss you and your touch.

☆ conversations with matthias would be with substance. he’s not a big fan on small talk, something that he’s always not been the best at. however, he’d always try his best to engage in it, only for you really.

☆ he would love to take you out, even if it’s a small outing. any moment with you is more than enough to him, a fleeting moment of you is everything to him. just to get away from his past, future, present.

☆ kissing with matthias can and could be awkward, he’s not experienced whatsoever and it’s more of a small and fast peck. but when it’s those days, when he’s completely so infatuated and need you ever so badly, he’d take you like a crazed man. it’s messy, sloppy and horrible, but you can feel those porcelain lips of his on you and really, that’s all that matters in that moment.

NSFW

☆ overtime, he would get confident on himself and those brief periods of yearning would turn into makeout sessions, him struggling to take off his layers of clothing and him gently pushing you on his bed, the sight of you all laid out for him.

☆ he’s hasty each and every time with you, not knowing where to look or how to act when he sees your naked sight. he’s embarrassed and feels as though he’s committing a great sin just having this view all to himself. but that turns him on even more.

☆ matthias czernin in bed is much more confident in both his personality and ability during bed, as if a switch is being turned on. he loves to take the reigns, to finally have some sense of control in his life. he’s slow and serious.

☆ he loves you giving him blowjobs, guiding you by your hair and pulling and tugging. those sounds of gagging that’ll come out of you and that feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat, he can’t last as long as he likes. rather than cumming inside of your mouth, he much prefers it if he cum outside of it as he doesn’t like how disrespectful it could be.

☆ matthias is someone that’s attentive. he’ll have his hands all around you as if you’re a doll, occasionally touching you in places just to get any elicit response. whether it’s him rubbing your nipples, playing with your clit and shoving his fingers deep in you. oh, how he loves the sight of his fingers deep in your womb. “you’re almost taking it all in..”

☆ he’s very sensitive in every part of his cock but especially the area hidden and lifted up from his foreskin. tease his foreskin, tease him and graze your lips. that just absolutely drives him crazy.

☆ he wants to hear your every sound, something that reassures him that he’s doing good. he’s very vocal but tries to shield it (which he really isn’t good at, at all). the sight of you burying your head in your pillow while he’s balls deep in you, is a sight that’s practically ingrained in his mind every second of the day.

☆ he has a boob and ass fixation, his hands are always on it or nearing those areas. whether it’s him licking your entire nipples, squeezing, or even tit fucking (no matter the size).

☆ he loves clothed humping, the feeling of friction. he could do foreplay for as long as possible, pinching your nipples through your clothes, his clothed cock poking you from behind and his other hand splayed around your entire stomach. he's absolutely in love with the sight of his rubbing cock on you as you’re clothed.

☆ his most certain favorite position is cowgirl. however, he’s very insecure of his “ghastly” appearance. he’d sometimes raise his hands near his face as if it’s out of habit to conceal himself.

☆ reassure him by putting his hands down, kissing each and every part of those “imperfections”, people would call him as they jab. praise him for his beauty and all that he is. he truly needs it. to return those affections, he loves to put his hands on your face. his thumb grazing your cheek and nearing your eye.

☆ aftercare with matthias would always be one with a bath drawn. he loves to feel and be clean. he’d love to help you dry your hair and you helping him with his afterwards. something about it just seems so.. domestic to him. it’s a heartwarming comfort to him.

[rosemaze-reveries]

Hello, I am the man boob requester, I enjoyed it very much! You’ve reminded me the existence of bane, I forgot how much I loved him.

This time I would like to request something less on crack-ish; idv characters of your choice with a freakishly quiet reader who makes a small noise to announce their presence whenever they enter a room to not freak people out pls.

My cat does this and it’s the cutest thing ever..

🎨⚓📣⛓️📍🖋️🏈

🎨 Edgar - "Stop doing that." He finds it weird and unnecessary. A proper excuse me would suffice. As a result, you start skipping your greetings altogether, only to discover that Edgar is surprisingly easy to spook. A few poorly-stifled heart attacks later he demands you go back to announcing yourself.

⚓ Jose lifts an inquisitive brow. "What was that, love?" When you repeat the sound, he tests it on his own tongue, as if trying to recognize the language. Then he smiles at you, snapping as it dawns on him: "Aha! But of course—modern balderdash. A beautiful language, one all the more enchanting on your sweet lips."

📣 Lily totally hijacks it. Just from the few times you make that sound, she adopts it into her daily hello's. She's much more talkative than you are, so she's usually the one that comes trotting in to visit you rather than the other way around. Guess it's hers now! At least she only uses it with you.

⛓️ Luca tends to lose himself in his work, drowning out all other sounds. It's easy to sneak up on him. He tunes out your little greeting the first few times you use it, and even now he still misses it sometimes. He starts responding with a small noise of his own to let you know he's heard you.

📍 Matthias spends a long time trying to decipher the meaning behind it. Some days he wonders if it's a signal to someone else, that he's being tracked in some way. One day he finds himself in a position where he's not sure how to catch someone's attention, and suddenly your small voice floats up in his head. All of a sudden it clicks. You won't mind him borrowing it just this once, right?

🖋️ Orpheus won't comment on it directly, but he does notice. He picks up on every little thing you do. He returns your greetings as he would anyone else, maybe giving you a nickname based on the sound, like little mouse or dove. The sound is endearing but unusual enough that he thinks about it often... You'll never get to hear his thoughts about it though.

🏈 William takes to this super quickly. For him, your quiet chirp is not so much a warning but a very welcome greeting. Whether he's working on something or mid-conversation, his face lights up like clockwork the moment he hears it. He'll glance around with a smile tugging at his lips until he spots you, where it blooms into a huge grin.

[amsgrey]

he just sounds like that

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader (established relationship)

synopsis: Arrogance has no place on a job, but you let it lower your guard. You pay the price, but Kaz helps bring you back.

I kind of like merging Book/Show Kaz and trying to keep accurate to his mannerisms and humour etc so hopefully this is good. I came about this idea after thinking about this scene from TLOU and how Kaz most definitely had an asshole voice. Also, I will probably make a few parts/drabbles about Kaz x Inferni Reader, because I love Kaz no apologies.

Warnings: Mentions of Slavery, reader reliving her time as a slave (briefly), Mentions of scars of wrists from slavery chains etc, A fumbley understanding of the technology of the time and inferni powers (it's been so long since I read the books)

Getting split from the other crows was distressing, but there was nothing you could do about that now. You and Kaz just had to keep going, trying to work your way back to the rendezvous point.

"Tell me again why you thought this would work," You hissed to Kaz, who had been leading you in a circle for what felt like forever.

Kaz gave you an irritated glare, "It did work."

You scoffed, "Yeah, that's why we're lost in this saints forsaken mansion."

Kaz let out an exasperated sigh, "Are you done?"

You and Kaz had known each other for years, the entire time you'd known each other you bantered like this. Kaz would act all irritated and stern, but you knew he silently liked the way you could relieve tension and make even him crack a smile. As the only two Crows born and raised in the farmlands of Kerch, you shared a different connection. You had found each other before The Barrel knew Kaz as the force he was now. Kaz had saved you from Slavers and convinced you to join the Dregs, helping you find a life without fear.

Since then, you followed him through everything, which at this current moment, meant even through the merchant's maze of a mansion. Nina, Matthias and Wylan were somewhere outside, waiting for you, Kaz, Inej and Jesper to get what you were after and meet them. You wondered if they would be growing impatient yet, you were late, which almost never happened on a job with Kaz.

The job had started off as most others, breaking in was always the easy part. You had been privy to Kaz's plans, watching him study a map of the mansion for weeks before he committed to the job. He knew the place like the back of his hand, but he didn't know the extent of the new security measures the merch had introduced.

You and Jesper dawdled behind Inej and Kaz as they led the group through the halls. Occasionally Jesper would pause at a painting or display piece and make comments about its ugliness or stupidity.

The last painting he'd criticized was of an older man, dressed in a bright blue kefta with red embroidery. Jesper had caught your sleeve and pointed it out to you, "Looks like the merch has inferni ancestor."

You had screwed your nose up at the portrait, "I thought he was Kaelish?"

"He is," Kaz said, already at the end of the hall with Inej. He was waiting for the two of you to catch up, like a boy calling his dogs home.

Walking through the mansion felt surreal, mostly because you hadn't been to many places with such decadent displays of wealth. The four of you could move through the hallways unnoticed because the Merch and his family were out at the theatre - or whatever it was rich people did in Ketterdam on Sunday Nights. He had brought most of his guards and men with him, leaving the halls silent and unpatrolled. Kaz had called him an arrogant fool, to declare his mansion impenetrable and then take all his men out to prove it. There was no place able to keep out Dirtyhands, especially not when he had his crows by his side.

Thinking back on it you realized how you all had been too arrogant, thinking this job was in and out, easy. You'd let your guard down - something Kaz warned you to never do in this city - and now you were paying the price.

Everything went wrong when you and Kaz finally found what you were looking for - the merch's family jewel, a sapphire embedded in rich Kealish gold. You had easily broken through the fabrikator-made lock, it might have been made by a Grisha but it couldn't hold up against a Grisha. Especially not one who could melt metal with the same ease as cutting pastry. Kaz had reached for the jewels, as soon as he lifted it off the display the room filled with an ominous hum. Like the sound of a machine slowly whirring to life.

Kaz had pocketed the jewels, grabbing your forearm and tugging you along behind him as he went for the door Jesper and Inej were guarding. Before you could make it metal bars slid down over the doorway. You had tried to use your small science to melt the metal, even Jesper tried to budge it, but nothing worked. Kaz ordered Inej and Jesper to find their own way out as alarms chimed, directing you back through the room to another exit.

You had followed behind him willingly, knowing he knew the way around the mansion. You'd been irritated to learn how wrong you were, Kaz knew the layout of the mansion but the Merch had updated the floorplan. Clearly, another Fabrikator addition to hinder thieves.

"Wait," Kaz held up his hand and you barrelled straight into his back at the sudden halt, "Do you hear that?"

Footsteps.

"Back," Kaz whispered, ushering you back the way you had come.

You got to the end of the hall before you heard more bodies approaching, you were surrounded. Immediately you went to the window, trying to pull at the latch and open it. It didn't work, but you could see light dancing on the tree line.

"Kaz," You called, "Look."

You both squinted into the dark, trying to distinguish who it was in the woods. You saw the glint of steel, like someone was spinning a revolver.

"It's Jesper."

The footsteps were getting louder, there was no way you and Kaz could get out of this on your own.

"Step back," You struck your flint, the sparks allowing you to create a ball of flame. You concentrated it as small as it would allow, pressing your palms against the window until cracks started forming. After a few more seconds the pane shattered, sending the shards falling to the ground below. You were on the second floor, even if you wanted to jump there was no way you and Kaz would be able to land safely. You settled for sending up a burst of flames, Jesper and the others would be on the lookout for it, your SOS symbol.

"Stop!" Someone shouted and all hell broke loose.

You and Kaz fought well side by side, you both knew each other's moves, working in tandem to take down opponents. It looked like you might win for a little while, then a woman rounded the corner with her hands pressed together. Heartrender, you realized it too late.

You were woken suddenly, like your heart was all of a sudden coming back to life. You gasped and spluttered, lungs burning. Your hands were bound above your head, separated by a thick metal rod so that you couldn't summon. Already you could feel the ache in your shoulders, hanging from your arms was something you had been used to when you were a slave. Now, you had to fight back the panic that tried to grip your heart.

You struggled to find your footing for a moment, but eventually managed to stand up enough to take the strain off of your wrists.

Kaz.

Where was Kaz?

"Look, Brekker. Your girls fine."

You squinted to find where the voice was coming from, finding the source across the room. Kaz was standing opposite a burly man nearly a foot taller than him. Kaz's face was bloody and bruised, but he had murder in his eyes. You could see it, feel it, all the way across the room. You realized it wasn't just Kaz and the merchant; the other crows were there too. Inej held a blade against the heartrenders throat from earlier, who had both her hands held far apart to show her cooperation. Jesper was not too far away, his pistols in hand as he stared down a man who stood in between you and him.

What did I miss?

"No harm was done," The merchant continued, his voice thick with a Kaelish accent, "What do you say we part ways, unharmed."

Kaz's face didn't change, "Sure."

The Merchant frowned, a glimpse of fear breaking through his resolve, "I don't like your tone, boy."

"He always sounds like that," Jesper joked, glancing at you.

"He has an asshole voice," You agreed. Not two nights ago you and Jesper had been saying the same thing to Matthias at the Slat. You and Jesper enjoyed teasing the Fjerdan, especially regarding Kaz and his 'demjin' ways.

Kaz looked amused, he had the Merchant in the palm of his hand. "Go. Before I change my mind."

The Merchant almost tripped as he ran away, not even stopping for his Heartrender and right-hand man who followed behind him just as quick.

With the immediate threat gone, you felt your resolve begin to crumble. You had to get out of these chains. They would rub your wrists every time you moved, bringing you straight back to your past.

"Stop moving," An older woman had warned you, "It hurts less."

She was probably right, but you were too terrified to listen. Hours ago you were playing on your family's farm, but now you were chained to the roof in a dark, damp cellar. The chains were rusted and coarse, they rubbed the skin around your wrists raw, leaving cuts and grazes everywhere they pressed.

You were only eight, by far the youngest of all the slaves in the cellar. The chains they used to bind you didn't have cuffs, the slavers had just looped the links around your wrists and locked them tight. All you felt was the pain and the fear. All of this because you were Grisha? You only just learned of your power as an Inferni, how could you be worth anything?

The older woman tried to console you, doing her best to quell your tears and sobs, but even she knew the horrors that awaited you. The horrors you would spend years fighting to escape.

"Y/N," Kaz's voice was soft, he stood in front of you, supporting your weight as Jesper worked on freeing your hands from the chains. "Stay here."

You knew he was trying, you could see his own emotions clawing at him. It was one of the things that bound you and Kaz together, the demons of your past. You understood what it was like to fear touch and he understood what it was like to be betrayed. You helped each other, through the flashbacks and nightmares. You two didn't have anyone else, so you fought to have each other.

When Jesper finally broke through the chains, you lurched forward unexpectedly. Kaz held you tighter, trying to keep you upright even with his bad leg. You stood up, holding your hands out to balance yourself.

'I'm okay," You lied, trying to avoid Jesper and Inej's worried glances, "We should get out of here."

Back at the Slat, you sat staring at your cup of cocoa. Nina had made it for you as her way of trying to help, she could hear that your heartbeat hadn't stopped racing since leaving the job.

Jesper and Wylan had offered you gentle conversation, but you couldn't hold it for long. You had claimed you were tired, bidding your friends goodnight and climbing the stairs to your room. You didn't stop at your floor. Your feet carried you further up the steep stairs, stopping when you reached the attic which Kaz had converted into his own room. You didn't have to knock, you just opened the door and announced yourself.

Behind closed doors, Kaz was less concerned about keeping up his Dirtyhands persona. He smiled ever so slightly as you sat on his bed. A few months ago you had forced him to rearrange his room so that you could see him working while you lounged on his bed. You often ended up like this, watching him work after long days and taking comfort in each other's presence.

This time, Kaz wasn't concerned with his papers, he just looked at you, waiting for you to talk. You had talked Kaz through his own episodes many times, you never pushed him or asked him to move quicker than he was ready. For the first time, Kaz wanted to offer you the same comfort, but he wasn't sure if he could.

You were rubbing your wrists, stuck in your own memories of your time chained.

Kaz slowly joined you, giving you time to pull away. You glanced over at him, watching him as he slowly removed his gloves.

"Kaz-"

Kaz shook his head to silence you, continuing what he was doing. He placed his gloves neatly on the bedside table, turning to you. He reached out slowly and you let him. He gently pried your fingers away from your wrist, taking your hands in his own. He turned your palms up, his fingers slowly ghosting over the scars on your skin.

Kaz could feel the warmth of your skin through his fingertips. It helped him fight off the flashbacks, the warmth reminding him you were safe, healthy, alive.

Kaz's fingers traced over a scar on your right thumb. You couldn't help the small sigh that escaped your lips.

Kaz's head snapped up to look at you, fear filling his eyes.

"I'm okay," You meant it this time. The flashbacks were gone, locked in the vault in the back of your mind.

Kaz could tell that you meant it, see the anxiety leave your face. He drew his hands back, reaching for his gloves again. You smiled at him as he slipped his hands back into them, the leather bringing him the comfort he needed.

Kaz offered you a quiet apology.

"Kaz," You couldn't help the adoring smile on your face, "It's okay."

You knew Kaz could handle contact more when his gloves were on, so you gently took his hand. Kaz watched as you copied his movements from earlier, gently opening up his fingers. You slowly raised his hand, pressing a gentle kiss to his palm.

"I love you," You said, "Gloves and all."

Kaz smiled, a genuine smile that you only saw in the safety of these four walls.

He let out a quiet reply, "I love you too."

[r-u-living]

Someone kick the Incorrect Quotes Generator out of my hands

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Wylan: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Jesper: Throw rocks at he.

Nina: Hot Dogs.

Inej: Kill him.

Wylan: Thanks guys.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Inej: I hate you with every inch of my body!

Kaz: That’s not a lot of inches.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Nina: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Matthias: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Nina: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Matthias: Somehow that's worse.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Wylan: *Reading a letter*

Nina: Well, what does it say?

Wylan: It’s a confession letter. It turns out Inej killed my pet rock.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Matthias : School appropriate questions.

Kaz: What was the lowest point in your life?

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Jesper: So the other day I sent Wylan out to get us some gas.

Jesper: And instead of getting gas, they got us novelty cookie cutters.

Jesper: Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur.

Jesper: …

Jesper: I love him so much.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Wylan: I don’t mean to be rude—

Nina: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Kaz: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Kaz: Violently practices.

Inej: Violently studies.

Nina: Violently sleeps.

Jesper: Violently shoots pictures.

Wylan: Violently boxes.

Nina: Violently murders people.

Matthias : Violently worries about the previous statement.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Kaz: *raises eyebrows*

Nina: Put those back down!

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Jesper after getting a job at a pool: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are.

Nina: Those are PEOPLE DROWING!

♥︎♥︎♥︎

"I love you."

Inej: Thanks fam!

Jesper: Oh no...

Wylan sobbing: I love you too

Kaz: Sounds fake but okay

Matthias: *flustered squeaking noises cause he's a little mousey boy*

Nina: Can I get a refund?

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Kaz: I knew this day would come. I saw it on the calendar.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Nina: Two years ago I married my best friend

Nina: Kaz is still mad about it but me and Inej were drunk and thought it was funny.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Jesper bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Kaz not looking up from his tax book: Really? Inej why didn't you tell me? I would have put my book down.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

Matthias: I think we should kiss.

Nina: And I think you should die but we don't always get what we want.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

[astrhae]

some important and underrated lines in the books, related to wylan van eck (aka gold that i found again while writing the character study fic):

Wylan took a deep breath as if sucking in courage and sputtered, “You won’t throw me overboard. You need me.”

--- Six of Crows, Chapter 13. when i say wylan is unhinged, i mean he had the audacity to lie to kaz brekker (who doesn't know yet that wylan isn't the best hostage) AND use that lie to go against kaz AND actually win. jesper only notices wylan lying to kaz in the second book, but despite being wide-eyed as matthias describes, wylan's been lying to kaz from the very beginning. throughout the books, wylan gets better and better at using people's assumptions of him as a weapon/tool, and he admits as much when jesper says: "i'm going to stop underestimating you", and wylan replies: "then you're going to be a lot harder to surprise."

While Kaz explained and Jesper used the laundry shears to portion out pieces of rope, Wylan helped Inej and Nina prepare. To pass as members of the Menagerie, they would need tattoos.

--- Six of Crows, Chapter 28. wylan is CANONICALLY a tattoo artist. demolitionist. poisons expert. musician. and tattoo artist. do with that what you will

“I don’t like the idea of killing people, either. I don’t even like chemistry.”

--- Six of Crows, Chapter 32. HE LIKES NUMBERS. and music. and jesper. there's just something about wylan being forced into chemistry when he doesn't truly enjoy it, vs. everything his father's forced him to do when he doesn't truly enjoy it. he says this right after the we could wake him up line, and him mentioning that he doesn't even like what he's been doing all along underscores how much wylan's ruthlessness comes from a place where he doesn't want to be cruel. he's just. had to do a lot of things to survive. and he does want to survive

Gunfire sounded from above. Apparently, Wylan had found the controls. ... Wylan had scratches from the glass all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming.

--- Six of Crows, Chapter 39. wylan is unhinged. truly. and i love him, really. he was really the first to figure out how to fire the tank. him, not jesper, which was a choice i very much approve of

He should be making a plan, maybe even plotting revenge, trying to gather his wits and his resources. And what was he doing? Wishing he could ring for tea... Whatever it took to survive the Barrel, Wylan knew he didn’t have it.

--- Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 23. first, wylan wishing he could ring for tea, vs. the parallel in the show where he offers the crows tea. second, wylan being painfully honest with himself. but third, he ends the chapter being able to navigate the streets of the barrel himself without knowing how to read the signs, which really reflects his amazingly good memory and skill for thinking along three axes, like the lockpick kaz compared him to

“Yes,” Wylan said, that one word imbued with a whole world of hope. “But I don’t have anything to bargain with.”

--- Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 28. wylan's spent so long bargaining for his life that by the time he meets genya, he doesn't believe he has anything left to bargain with. but wylan still tries, AND when he succeeds, he still has the audacity to get genya to make him look better

in conclusion, wylan might be shy but that doesn't mean he isn't scheming something, but that doesn't mean he wants to scheme, but that doesn't mean he isn't good at scheming. he's excellent at it, he's just an unhinged ball of contradictions, and wylan would, could, and should beat kaz in a chess match

[alittlelela-blog]

My love, Matthias… and the godddamn puppet (Matthias x afab!reader) pt.2

Warnings: NSFW, sexual innuendos, blowjobs, cum swallowing

"O-Okay.. let's make love." He replied with a small smile. He didn't have to ask you to be gentle or slow, you already did that with him on a regular basis. You slowly pulled your head back to look into his eyes. You leaned forward to gently kiss his lips.

Slowly you grabbed both of his hands and guided them underneath your shirt. Matthias felt his heart race at the excitement. He’s been wanting to touch you so bad. He took back control of his own hands and slowly trailed his hands up your abdomen.

"Is it alright if I touch your breasts?" Matthias asked softly. He looked into your eyes to ensure he would know your answer.

"Yes, go ahead." You allowed with a small smirk. Matthias' gaze lowered back down to your breasts. He slowly lifted his hands up until he felt his fingertips brush against the underside of your bra. You reached down and pulled your shirt over your head and threw it to the ground.

As Matthias slowly raised his hands up and underneath your bra, you unhooked it from the back. You let it slide off your body and hit the floor. Matthias softly squeezed your breasts as he laid eyes on them for the first time. His mouth was wide open in awe. He would be lying if he said the sight alone wasn't enough to make him fully hard.

"They're so gorgeous..." Matthias whispered just loud enough for you to hear. He squeezed them in his hands then began to gently fondle them as he leaned his head in. "C-Can I please suck on them?" He asked almost desperately. He looked up into your eyes as he awaited your response.

"Yes, dear. Go on." You reassured with a small smile. Matthias waisted no time and immediately attached his mouth to one of your nipples. He started by sucking gently and fondling your other breast in his hand. Soft moans left your mouth from the pleasurable sensations coursing through you.

Your sounds of pleasure let him know how good of a job he was doing. He kept at the same menstruations for a moment. Matthias began to suck harder and even pinched your nipple in his hand. A small squeak escaped your mouth as a jolt of pleasure shot through your abdomen and straight to your core. Matthias took a mental note of your reaction and kept at it. Soon enough, you were moaning almost every second.

"Matthias.." You began while looking down at him. He pulled away from your nipple and looked into your eyes. You looked into his eyes for a moment then realized he was obviously hard in his pants. Your eyes drifted down to his pants and widened slightly at the sight. "You're hard, aren't you?" You questioned with a small chuckle. Matthias blushed madly and stood up straight.

"M-Maybe.." He stuttered shyly. This was all quite new to him. He has touched himself, yes, but he has never had someone else touch him there. The idea of having you touch him somewhere so vulnerable caused him to get a little more excited.

You gently grabbed his hips and pulled his body flush against yours again. His hard cock strained through his pants and poked at your lower stomach.

"You need me to take care of that?" You questioned in a seductive tone. You then slowly started to get down on your knees. It took Matthias a second to realize what you were implying until you were fully on your knees.

"O-Oh! Are you sure you want to suck me off? You don't have to.." Matthias defended as he raised his hands in front of himself. His words died as he saw the look in your eyes. It was as if he was mesmerized by you. The angle was strikingly arousing to him. You heard him whine softly at the sight. "Oh my.. you look really gorgeous right now.." Matthias managed to say with a deep blush on his face. You chuckled seductively and smiled.

"Permission to touch you?" You asked with a big smile while looking up into his eyes. Matthias nodded his head vigorously.

"Please.." He replied in almost a whimper. You then leaned forward to gently kiss at his bulge through his pants. You kept your eyes on his as you teased him. Matthias moaned softly at the contact. He was begging for any kind of attention down there that it felt like heaven already.

You gently began to unbutton his pants while staring seductively into your eyes. You then unzipped his pants and slowly pulled them down to his ankles. You grabbed the waistband of his underwear and slowly pulled it down. Immediately Matthias' hard cock sprung out in your face. He couldn't help but moan softly not only at the sight but the feeling of his cock being free. He was average and his cock was already leaking precum. He felt a little embarrassed at first, but it soon went away as he saw how intrigued you were.

You leaned forward and gently pressed kisses to his cock head. Matthias moaned softly. You could feel his cock twitch at the kiss. More precum began to pour out from his tip. You instantly licked at it while looking seductively into his eyes. Matthias whined.

"Please... I'm getting really needy.." He begged with a deep blush on his face. You chuckled and swallowed the bit of precum you licked up.

"Really? In front of your puppet?" You questioned with a smirk. I tilted my head to the side as I looked into your eyes seductively. Matthias blushed madly at your comment.

"W-Well.." He started as he looked to the side where he last saw Louis. As he turned to look, he noticed Louis wasn't there. "Oh." You then turned your head where you figured he was as well. The chair stayed empty, meaning he had left the room at some point. Matthias then frantically looked around to see if Louis was still in the room.

"See? He left, didn't he? My assumption was correct." You smiled wide as you looked up at him. Matthias looked back down at you and instantly became more aroused that he realized you were alone together for the first time.

"Please make me cum.. now." He pleaded as his heart rate quickened. Since he was alone with you, now he could do what he wanted without worrying about being watched.

"Say less my puppeteer." You said seductively. You then immediately took his tip into your mouth and gently sucked. You lapped your tongue back and forth against his slit as you began to bob your head.

Matthias let out small whimpers and moans as you sucked his tip. Your tongue was so soft and wet it drove him crazy. He wasn't sure where to put his hands so he held them up to his chest. It was quite adorable.

You then slowly raised your hands up to tug on his arms. He let you guide his hands to your hair. You could tell from the look on his face that he was unsure. You then took more of his cock into your mouth and bobbed your head back and forth while maintaining eye contact with him. Simultaneously, you held his hands in yours and moved his hands around in your hair in a gentle and sensual manner. Matthias began to moan louder and even threw his head back in pleasure for a moment. Your mouth was like heaven. It was a warm blanket surrounding his cock that touched every nerve inside it with no fail. It made him weak in the knees, but he desperately kept himself standing.

"So good.. your mouth feels so good.." He moaned out. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you no matter how hard he tried. The sight was incredibly arousing. You chuckled around his cock in response to his words and let his hands go. Matthias felt the vibrations of your chuckle course through his body and moaned out a little louder. "Oh god! Oh my.. I-I feel like I'm going to explode.." He stuttered. You took that as a sign to go faster, so you did. You bobbed your head back and forth on his cock faster and even sucked harder. Matthias let out continual moans and whimpers as he neared closer and closer to his release. He gently caressed your scalp as you sucked, just like you had shown him.

"O-Oh I-I'm gonna-" Matthias tried to warn. He, horribly, tried to pull you off of him, but you stayed put. Before you knew it, he was cumming into your mouth with a loud and cute cry. Ropes and ropes of his white cum splattered into your mouth. You pulled back just enough to where only his tip was in your mouth. You swallowed every drop and even moaned at the taste regardless of how salty it was to you.

Matthias panted for breath as he slowly came back from his high. You pulled away from his cock and left a small trail of your spit on his tip. You wiped your mouth as you looked up at him. What a sight for Matthias.. he almost got hard again.

"Did you enjoy that?" You questioned with a small smile. You then slowly got up from the ground and stood up. Matthias watched you as you stood up.

"E-Enjoy?.. I loved it.." He admitted as he gently held your hand in his. He looked lovingly into your eyes as he held your hands. You chuckled happily upon seeing how much he enjoyed it. "I-It felt so good. I felt like I was in heaven." He explained further. He took a small step forward as he was quite excited to tell you how amazing he felt. You smiled happily and gently caressed his cheek.

"I'm so glad you enjoyed it my dear~ I always want you to feel good." You explain in a tender tone. You lovingly stared into his eyes as you pulled him closer to you. He stepped forward again and gently hugged you. "Love you, Matthias." You spoke softly to him. He felt his heart flutter at your words despite the nasty things your mouth just did to his cock.

"I love you too.." He spoke back as he gently hugged you tighter. He cutely rubbed his head against yours in an adorable manner.

You stayed in each other's arms for a moment until you heard the same gagging noise from before. You looked over to the doorway and saw the horrifying face of Louis in the shadows. You yelped in surprise and pulled back from Matthias as you stepped back in fear. He was confused and hurriedly tried to calm you down. He was unsure if it was something he did or not.

"Matthias! Your damn puppet is trying to scare the shit out of me!" You accused as you slowly tried to calm down your racing heart. Matthias slowly placed his hand on your shoulder to reassure you.

"What? What happened?" He questioned confused. He turned over to the doorway to find no one or anything there. Matthias raised an eyebrow in confusion. He wouldn't doubt his puppet would do that, but he was gone in his vision.

"Your puppet was staring at me in the doorway! I swear!" You accuse further as you point to the doorway. You started to giggle from how funny it actually was. Matthias' worry soon lifted and he started to giggle as well.

"He does that." He says with a chuckle. "It's okay. He won't touch you." Matthias tried to reassure as he gently wrapped an arm around your waist.

"I know." You replied through chuckles. "He just surprised me. He always manages to look creepy when he scares me!" You whined further. You pointed over to the doorway where he was as you spoke. You looked over and saw he was sitting on the chair again. "Fuck you." You flipped your middle finger at him.

Matthias couldn't help but laugh at your reactions. At a time he was terrified of the puppet constantly finding him, but now he was like a pet cat following him around all the time. From this moment, Matthias was happy to know his puppet would allow him some alone time with you. It was the least he could ask for.

[cerastes]

You know, I was just thinking, there's this game I like, I've talked about this one both on and off stream, it's Luminous Arc 2. It's one of those Way of the Samurai 4 games that are garbage games that did some things REALLY well but are still very much not good games overall, but that I LOVE. You know how much I love Way of the Samurai 4. I also love Luminous Arc 2, it's not a good game, it's a game that merits 0 playthroughs, and yet I gave it 2 full playthroughs.

With WotS4, I can explain to you what parts of it are genius hidden in an ocean of shit, but I can't with Luminous Arc 2, I've not done the mental homework on that one, so I did this weekend, and...

Luminous Arc 2 executes the Nanoha-style Magical Girl formula very very well.

Now, you may have heard that Nanoha is a mecha show but instead of mecha, there's magical girls. And that assessment is absolutely 100% correct. Luminous Arc 2 somehow distills the purely Magical Girl elements from Nanoha's mecha-magical girl execution and pulls them off REALLY well.

Allow me to elaborate.

Nanoha nails down the Good Fight Scene. Not just in fight choreography, but also, in essence of what a good fight scene aims to accomplish for an overarching narrative as an element in the bigger scheme that you can't just skip. Think about Code Geass for a moment: Is Code Geass a mecha show? It sure has mecha, but it's not a mecha show. You could replace the mecha in Code Geass with tanks and helicopters and nothing would change. In fact, at least one adaption of Code Geass does exactly this. Code Geass is a great show but it's not mecha in its themes and execution. Code Geass is a not mecha show with mecha. Nanoha is a mecha show without mecha. You can't remove the fights from Nanoha without it not being Nanoha anymore, and in each fight, we learn more about the characters, the characters learn more about each other, and even if any given fight does not move the plot forward, it does move the character arcs forward, on top of being fun to watch.

And Nanoha accomplishes this by making the same characters fight each other a bunch. Symphogear also does this. Each fight between the same characters feels different each time, because they are growing in terms of motivations and themes.

Luminous Arc 2 does the same with each of its big arcs. In the optional sidequests, you often just fight some mooks and a stronger, sometimes recolored version of a generic monster. The main story stages of the game, though? You are always fighting someone important or a consequence of someone's important's actions. Initially, you fight an ice witch named Fatima and her cat familiar and companion Josie a bunch. As the plot advances, your rogue's gallery keeps expanding, from the bandit Karen and her gang, who initially seem to be disconnected to the overall plot and is more of a Team Rocket deal, to actual lore powerhouses like Master Matthias and others who I shall omit for brevity. Luminous Arc 2 has three big arcs, and each of these have an evolving cast of reoccurring bosses that you fight for plot reasons, and you get to know each other a lot more with each fight, shedding light on their motivations, and them shedding light, in turn, on the motivations of your own side, which are actually not immediately discernible to you in their entirety.

And this is all really good! You get used to their signature moves, their animations, the way they usually structure their units, a bunch of really cool little things.

And maybe this game is sounding good to you, but make no mistake, it's a pretty fucking mediocre SRPG that you can play with your brain turned off. No cohesion, very little unit identity, incredibly self-indulgent first and everything else a distant second, it's NOT a good game... But what it did good, it really knocked it out of the park.

In terms of getting to know your enemy, their motivations, and how they in turn get to know and let you know more about you... Luminous Arc 2 does it better than most. Which is hilarious because this game sucks in every other department. It's not a good game. I did two full playthroughs and I would do a third.

[violettduchess]

Ahh, could I request Matthias with “I grew up on a farm” or “Use me”? Or whatever you feel like! 🙏❤️

A/N: In honor of his birthday today, here is your request anon!

Making such a proper character into a country boy wasn't easy until I found a way to connect the prompt "I Grew Up on a Farm" with Matthias's pride in Achroite.

Modern Country AU, Matthias x Reader

Entry for @candied-boys Country Radio CC

WC: 1.2k

The high-rise buildings of your city glisten with the reflection of a thousand neon lights. They flaunt the reds and pinks and yellows like fashionistas on a runway. Far below, the cars drive, resembling little lightning bugs, their bright, white headlights guiding them along the road to their destinations. The sky above is a gray mass of clouds, blanched and ubiquitous. The night's starlight has no chance against the blinding glow of the city and when it is visible, the moon is only a pale shadow of herself, like a copy made too many times.

Matthias is standing on the balcony of your small apartment, leaning on the railing. His strong hands curl around the cool metal, broad shoulders slumped forward. Slipping his hoodie over your thin nightgown, you step outside and join him. The sounds of the city that never sleeps greets you, a familiar song that has accompanied your nights since you were young.

You wrap your arms around him from behind. Feeling you hug him brings a tenuous smile to his lips and he places his hands over yours, holding you there, a silent plea to not let go. Your head falls forward to rest against his broad back and you breathe in the scent of him, cool and crisp and clean. It reminds you of snow-capped mountains, of winter’s first kiss, of a lake frozen over, diamond-like and dazzling in the pale December sun.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

His exhale is heavy. It courses through his body, dragging the weight of his tangled emotions with it. They feel like chains around his heart, fetters that tighten with every beat.

“Hey....” 

Your voice sharpens with concern as you let go and move so that you can see him. His noble face, the one you tease him about and say looks like a fairy tale prince, is shadowed by something that dampens the soft gray of his eyes, pulls down the corners of his handsome mouth. “Matthias?”

He hesitates and your stomach twists. Something is definitely wrong.

He touches his forehead, frowning, as if willing the thoughts to find the way out of his mind. “This may sound silly. I’m not a child but...” His voice sounds tight, wound with the fear of what may happen when he gives his thoughts life. “I....I miss home.”

You step back, away from him.

His gaze is pleading, heartbreakingly sad. “I know I said I would try. For us. I know your life is here and I thought I would manage. But darling....” His voice breaks on the word and he has to take a moment to regain control. “Darling, I am not made for this place.” He gestures towards the city, now behind him. “I miss the mountains. And the Achroite ranch. The people.” He sinks down onto the chair in the corner of the balcony, his tall body folding like a demolitioned building. “And I’m selfish for it, I know. I promised you. And yet.....” He runs a hand through his short, blond hair. “I can’t....be truly happy here.” Anguished he looks up at you, expecting to see the betrayal written in your expression, hurt shining in your eyes. 

Instead what he sees is something softer, something gentle.

Carefully you cross the small balcony to where he is sitting on the plastic folding chair and reach for him, dropping down onto his lap, knowing from experience the little chair is mighty enough to hold you both. He watches you closely, brows knit in a frown, but he wraps his strong arms around you, almost hesitantly.

Reaching up, you cup his cheek. “I know.”

“You do?”

For a man so intelligent he could be so dense.

You nod, running your thumb over his chin, a gesture familiar and loving. “The minute we left the ranch it was like your glow was slowly fading, a little every day. And I wanted to believe I could be enough to keep it alight. I thought if I could do that, your decision to return with the crazy tourist from the big city who wanted a dude ranch experience and got so much more wouldn’t turn into the biggest regret of your life–”

He hugs you to him tightly, shaking his head as he buries his face in your shoulder. “No, not possible.”

Gently you lift his head so you can look into his eyes. “You love me. I know you do. But you don’t love it here. And so this, here,.....it won’t work.”

The storm breaks in the gray of his gaze. He closes his eyes, fighting back the flood that is breaking his heart and drowning its pieces.

“Which is why we have to leave ‘here’....and go....” Your palm rests against his heart. “Where this is.”

Tears shine like raindrops in the sun when he opens his eyes again, disbelieving.

“What?” It’s a whisper, a prayer in the wind.

“I could never be happy seeing you this way, so far from that place that is in every heartbeat, in every shadow of your thoughts.” You hold his gaze as you speak the words that have been written on your heart for some time now. “ I fell in love with the man with the wide smile who showed me the mountains at sunrise, who shows the same consideration to everyone, from the boy who mucks the stables to the mayor of the town. The one who took me for long rides through the hills and showed me the pond where he learned to swim, the tree he fell from and broke his arm.” You smile, stroking his cheek. “I want that Matthias back and I think the only way I can find him is to bring him back to the land he loves....and if he’ll have me, join him there.”

“Are you sure?” The words are tremulous, restrained. “I couldn’t ask you to leave the city if it would make you miserable. I couldn’t put you through-“

“Screw the city. It was never that great anyway.” Your forehead touches his, your hands cradle his face. “I didn’t grow up feeling like you did. Like this place is a piece of me. What I do know.....is wherever you go, that’s home. To the mountains, to the moon. I don’t care. All I need is you.”

His words are barely audible. “But we came back here because of your job....you didn’t want to give it up. I would never ask you to do that.”

“I know you wouldn’t. And that’s why I am doing it voluntarily.” You lean back and there is nothing but warmth in your heart. “A ranch like yours always needs some extra hands, right? And I’m sure you can teach me.”

“You’re sure?”

There is not a single spark of hesitation in your answer. “Yes.”

“Truly?”

“Matthias!”

Relief like a river rushes through him and he can only stare in awe at you, the brightest sun in his sky. “I love you.”

You don’t reply with words. Instead you lean forward and kiss him, an answer, a testament to a love as bright and endless as the Western sky.

Taglist: @alexxavicry @queengiuliettafirstlady @bellerose-arcana @thewitchofbooks @aria-chikage

@tele86 @dear-mrs-otome @writingwhimsey @mxrmaid-poet @silver-dahlia

@wendolrea @myonlyjknight @ikesimpleton @ikemenlibrary @namine-somebodies-nobody

@whatever-fanfics @justpeachyteastea @chirp-a-chirp @got7igot7family @kookie-my-little-sunshine

@mastering-procrastinating @portrait-ninja @starlitmanor-network @sh0jun @queen-dahlia

@themysticalbeing @nightghoul381 @whitelittlebunny @chi-the-idiot @bubblexly

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Six of Crows characters x Parks and Rec quotes part two (I have so many of these you guys I love them so much)

Nina: You know my code. Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries

Matthias: Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?

Pekka Rollins: it’s a white flag, and you better start waving it

Kaz: THE ONLY THING I WILL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER

Rollins: … Good Lord

Jesper: One person's annoying is another person's inspiring and heroic

Wylan: I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life

Kaz: I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road

Inej when she breaks Van Eck’s nose: I believe assault should be legal if the person is a jerk

Kaz: Ugh, I hate talking to people about things

Inej to Pekka at the end of Crooked Kingdom: Yes, I am a hunter and it's you season

Wylan: I totally hear you, but, erm, I also don't like what you're saying. So if you say no, I will start a fire in the bathroom

Kaz to Inej: I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you

Kaz: I only really listen to, like, German Death Reggae and Halloween sound effects records from the 1950s. And Bette Midler. Obviously

Matthias arriving in the Barrel for the first time: This seems like the kind of place where a Ska band would go to shoot heroin

Nina: I'm gonna get drunk and then I'm gonna order a three-course meal where each course is made of dessert

[restinslices]

Liar Pt2

Me finally writing the part 2?! Wow! So this part is honestly filler. It's Matthias being in his own head and meeting Nina, who will become an ally. Imma be real, nothing happens BUT LISTEN- it's setting shit up. Have faith. Enjoy his mental crisis. Druskelle!Matthias Helvar x Heartrender!Wife!Reader (she does not make an apperance-) Word Count: 2059 Summary: Ever since you've left, Matthias has had conflicting thoughts about your relationship and it's driving him insane, but an unlikely friend makes him realize not all hope is lost. Y/N - Your Name D/N - Daughter Name Link to part 1

(Lowkey should've used this gif for part 1 and part1's for this, but rip)

“Dear my love and life,

I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should say sorry again for the whatever thousandth time. I never know how to start these, so I always say I’m sorry. I wish Djel gave me the power to go back in time and fix the mistakes I’ve made. I wish I could go back and hug you when you told me about you being Grisha, instead of pushing you away. I wish I would’ve held you and told you I’d forever love you instead of calling you a witch. I wish when I woke up, I had my wife beside me and my daughter in the room next to ours. I have lots of wishes, and since I can’t change the past, I have a wish that’s selfish and cruel.

I wish you both were dead. I wish that the Druskelle had found and killed you two, or all of you instead of just Elise and Erik. 

I know I sound terrible, but not knowing where you are or how you are hurts more than you two being dead. I wish that one day, I’m sitting at home and someone comes in to say they found and killed you both.

Am I a bad person for thinking this? I’ve heard rumors about other countries. I’ve heard Ravka trains their children for war. I’ve heard Shu Han does terrible experiments on Grisha. I’ve heard in The Wandering Isle that the Kaelish kill Grisha so they can drink their blood. I’ve heard in Kerch, Grisha are put under contracts and basically become slaves. I’d rather you be dead than go through any of that. 

My love, you remember the day I proposed to you. I know you do. What you don’t know is that the night before I did so, I sat outside for hours. I couldn’t possibly sleep when I was terrified about what I was gonna do. I saw a star that shined brighter than the others, and for some reason, I thought it could be Djel watching over me. I prayed and begged Djel to convince you to say yes, and you did. 

Maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong. Maybe I’m too busy wishing, instead of praying, but I haven’t felt like praying in so long. Maybe if I find that star again, he’ll hear me better like he did the first time. Maybe I’ll get another chance and we’ll all run away. Maybe-”

“Anything going on up there?” the Grisha woman asked.

Matthias found himself writing a lot since you left. Not in some diary though. He’d write letters to you and his daughter, then throw them in the fireplace and watch it be engulfed in flames. 

At first the letters were angry and full of betrayal. You lied to him for years. You used him. That’s what he thought at first.

It had been days and you hadn’t been caught. He happened to have paper and ink around him, so he wrote this letter filled with insults, profanities and accusations, then he threw it in the fireplace. Although he wrote all this down, about how you were a liar and a witch, he didn’t go with the druskelle to try and capture you. Others assumed that your “witchcraft” made him still feel sick, but in reality, Matthias knew deep down that if he saw you he wouldn’t be able to take the shot. He would’ve been expected to either kill or capture his ex wife and child and he knew he couldn't. You were his love, and once your daughter was born, you both promised each other to make her number one in your lives. You’d raise her with love and guidance and make sure she never knew a lonely day. You even promised each other that if one was to die, the other had to keep going everyday even if they didn’t want to. You both promised to make her your whole life. Now he was expected to forget all about that. He wanted to forget all about you, but he couldn’t.

His letters went from angry to pleading. Sometimes his letters would be destroyed by his own tears before it even reached the fire. This especially happened whenever an important date passed, like your daughter’s birthday. It hit him hard then. The loneliness became more apparent. Matthias had quit being a Druskelle, telling Brum some bullshit about how his head still didn’t feel right and he didn’t want to mess something up. In reality, being a Druskelle didn’t feel right anymore. His brothers gave him sympathy, saying you were evil and he was strong for realizing this and breaking out of your spell, but it didn’t make sense. When people look back at their memories with a manipulator or abuser, they notice signs. They see things they didn’t see before. And while Matthias did indeed notice signs that you were Grisha, he didn’t see any signs of evil. 

Matthias knew you even before his family was killed, and you stood by him as he mourned. You stayed even when he was sure you’d leave. How could you possibly be evil? It didn’t make sense. 

Matthias doesn’t know why he accepted Brum’s offer to go on another exploration. Maybe it was loneliness. He had practically isolated himself for two years. No more you. No more D/N. No more brotherhood.

Or maybe he was hoping somehow they’d find you and he’d be able to escape with you.

Either way, he accepted. A mistake.

The boat ended up sinking and Matthias was sure he’d die, until he suddenly felt his heart speeding up in his chest. When he came to, he realized one of the Grisha, a heartrender with brown hair and a smart mouth, had saved him. Granted, it was just so he could push them to shore, but at least he was breathing.

They found a hut, slept by each other, and that’s when he realized two things.

Number one, your wedding ring, which he always kept in his pocket, was gone.

Number two, when the woman sped his heart up so he stayed warm, it felt familiar. It was how he felt when he laid next to you. He always assumed that maybe his heart beat so fast because being near you was the greatest honor and he hadn’t gotten used to it. He’d still say that was true, but the reality was that you used your power to keep him warm every single night. If he hadn’t been around someone, he might’ve cried.

He heard fingers snapping next to his ear. “Druskelle? Anyone up there?”.

Matthias blinked hard to snap himself out of his thoughts, then cleared his throat. His eyes had been on the fire in front of him the whole time, as if he could burn his letter like he usually did. He looked to the side as the woman sat next to him. He couldn’t even remember what they were talking about.

It was as if she read his mind since next she said, “you were telling me all about Fjerdan woman then you stopped. Hoping one appears?”.

“Yes” he answered without thinking.

~~~

Matthias refused to answer any of her questions. In all honesty, she was annoying him. She was incredibly nosey and kept insisting they were lost, but they couldn’t have been lost because Druskelle didn’t get lost! All trees look the same! Rocks look the same! A certain patch of snow looked the same as other patches of snow!

They were lost. Dammit.

Matthias sat on a big rock with a flat top in defeat. What good was being alive if they were just gonna freeze to death?

The woman sat next to him, “I’m gonna ask a few questions if you don’t mind”.

“I do mind”.

“What’s your name? I like ‘Dumb Druskelle’ but surely you were born with something else. Todd? A Kevin maybe? James?”. Matthias hated she gave the same comfort a friend would. It was strange. He didn’t know her, but he had been so lonely that he enjoyed having someone else near. And if he was gonna die, he wouldn’t mind dying with someone else. 

Although Matthias was silent, she kept going. “Who’s back home for you?”.

“No one” he thought.

The woman pulled something out of one of her pockets and presented it to him. It was your wedding ring, the one he thought probably sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Before he could speak she said “I grabbed it before it sunk too far. Figured I could use it as leverage to make you get us to shore, but you agreed before I could”. Matthias took it and since no one he knew was around, he put it back on.

Some people prefer the feeling of a weight lifting off of them, but he preferred the weight the ring added to his finger even if it wasn’t that huge of a change. The woman was still looking at him then he had an idea. If she was Ravkan and you ran there, maybe she knew you! He asked her if he knew a woman fitting your description with a child that had recently came to Ravka. When she said she was usually in and out of the palace, but had gotten a letter from a friend who mentioned a new Grisha with a child he felt conflicted. On one hand, this could’ve been you and this meant you were safe. On the other hand, this meant his daughter was probably being trained to become a soldier for whatever other war Ravka would join. 

She made a sarcastic remark, asking if he had been hunting this woman also and she happened to get away. He spilled his guts then. He told her everything. How you met, how you were always there for him, how you fell in love, your marriage, your child, the incident, him turning on you. All of it. It felt amazing to say out loud to someone else.

“You had an incredible wife but chased her and your child away? Remember when I said there was a brain inside all that muscle? I lied”. He didn’t argue. What was the point? “What would you do if you managed to see her or your child again?”.

He thought about this every night and he still didn’t know. He’d apologize but what then? Let you go? Beg for another chance? What if you had met someone else by now? “I don’t know” he answered honestly “but I’d beg for as long as she wanted me to”.

“You do realize that you were gonna kill more Grisha on that boat right?”

“You would go on trial”

“Your trials are a sham, we’ve been over this. The loneliness won’t end by becoming a Druskelle again. You and I both know it”. Matthias went quiet again as he thought. He hated she was nosey, he hated that everything that came out her mouth was sarcastic or said with an attitude, but more importantly 

He hated she was right.

“I have known one way my entire life. I don’t know how to be anything else. I… I don’t know if I can be better”.

“It’s possible” she said. She stood and moved so she was in his view. “Get on your feet-”. It all happened so quick then. She backed up, then all Matthias heard was the ground crumbling and her screams. He dived down, catching her hands. 

She pleaded for Matthias to pull her up and for a split second, he thought he’d let her fall. 

He refused to turn his back on anyone else though.

He pulled her up and let her catch her breath on the ground. After a few seconds, he stood with his hand outstretched, “Matthias… Helvar”.

She took his hand and let him help her to her feet. “Nina Zenik. Nice to make your acquaintance”. Matthias draped one of the fur coverings he was wearing on her shoulders then they started walking again.

“You saved my life”

“I put you in chains. It was the least I could do”.

“That’s all very true, but I was going to say something before I fell”. Nina grabbed his arm, making him stop and look at her. 

“I’m going to help you find your family”.

A/N: I need to stop deciding to write at 11pm-. Anyway, did anything really happen this part? No. Lowkey this should say part 1.5 but that looks ugly so here we are. I will not procrastinate for another two months, I promise. Also I remembered that Matthias is 18 and ya'll kid is 10, so uhhh let's say the kid is 6 and ya'll are mid twenties. Imma edit the last part too, don't even worry. I think part 3 will be the last part unless I decide it's too long and split it. Taglist: @luvrrish @katie-the-bookworm @favouritefeverdream (Idk if you wanted to be tagged, but you commented so imma do it anyway)