#mddrhys

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

i hate when i’m distant from all my problems going on. i hate that i have so many problems, and that some of them aren’t there at the surface, like i’m not feeling them but i will again eventually.

i have so much to mourn, so much to think about, so much to cry over, so much to resolve. and yet so often, i find myself escaping it all, and then feeling bad because i don’t feel bad about it, because i’m avoiding it all.

i’m tired of being tired, and yet at the same time i’m tired of not being tired as often as i probably should be.

my subconscious is protecting it all from me, protecting me from it all. but i’m tired of that, although i know it’s probably cuz i can’t handle it all yet, even though i might want to.

the mind is so complex, and i’m tired of knowing what is going on, and yet not being in control of it at the same time.

so heads up, to anyone who may be concerned, knowledge isn’t everything, and it’s actually quite exhausting.

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

‼️[TW: mention of SH and SI urges]‼️

are any other neurodivergents extremely sensitive to how not eating enough effects them?

like, let me explain some more.

when i don’t eat enough and continue to not eat enough, it feels incredibly similar to depressive episodes.

i get really low, emotionally and mentally, all energy is drained from my physically and executive dysfunction is there so much more, and all of the skills to healthily cope and work through stressors/depressive thoughts/emotions in general just completely go out the window or are extremely harder to do, and i also start having SI and SH urges and thoughts, my PTSD is triggered more easily, my GAD goes out the roof, and etc. etc.

that happens whenever i’ve forgotten to eat.

and it just makes me wonder if any other neurodivergents have that experience as well. can anyone relate?

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

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