#mcdonalds arson

[notarealhomestuck]

[msparp-hell]

dave rpers are generally super fucking boring. imagine getting mad that one tries to do something interesting. jfc

mcdonalds dave is based af

[mxrpchronicle]

The anti arson guy sounds like the dick to me...

^^^

[axle-hates-zucchini]

There are 2 types of artists

Me and my friend in CMA class

[arson-god]

Drew the Grimace Shake

[dayz72]

Pjo characters as quotes on my quote list pt. 1

Annabeth: I was gifted biscuits 

Frank: Biscuits!?

Annabeth: *takes out bag full of butter milk biscuits* 

Frank (sadly): oh. I thought you meant the British cookies…

Leo: I was drafted into Santa’s workshop

Percy to Nico: Stop having an emo seizure 

Hazel: Just don’t commit too much arson okay Leo?

*Piper and Annabeth are playing chess*

Piper: I eat the king

Annabeth: you can’t eat the king

 Piper: this game was obviously made by a man

Zeus: There’s just a baby in my knee cap

Apollo to Octavian: You are a homophobic homo 

Leo: *looking in the mirror

Leo: Eww it’s me

Nico:I know where you live…

Will: that’s not how you start a conversation 

Reyna: If you rizz me up I will punch you in the face

Leo to Jason: the Five nights at Freddy’s movie may not have been a 10 out of 10 but you are 

Piper: Nico is actually a homophobic Russian spy who is a 40 year old learning what young gay people say to learn how to brainwash them 

Hazel: Be careful with the drugs they can turn you homosexual

Rachel: It’s not lying it’s fanfiction

Kronos: Sell your soul to me for life insurance

Nico to Hades: Father why haven’t you let me out of the basement?

Reyna: Raise your hand if your willing to go to go to conversation camp 

Lavinia: *raises her hand* I’m already Jewish 

Reyna: …

Jason to Reyna about Octavian: He looks like he came out of a McDonald happy meal 

Thalia: Nothing is illegal if the police don’t catch me

Artemis: I like everyone here, except men

Grover: I get high of off air 

Annabeth: Mozzarella isn’t Mexican

Leo: it is if u put it in a tortilla bitch

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

General Headcanons with DOA Boys

Headcanon: General headcanons of stuff I think they will do Pairing: Fyodor x reader, Nikolai x reader and Sigma x reader Genre: Fluff, lowkey crack A/N: Thank you dc person for that one fyodor headcanon. →Masterlist

Nikolai

He probably likes to eat mud for fun and force everyone to eat it

You both secretly sneekout of the hideout and visit beaches at night, having deep conversation which would end up with him filling your shorts with sand

he likes to place insects and rats in your closet stating it is a harmless prank. Not even Sigma is excused from his pranks

Nikolai irrespective of being a prankster would gift you with ice-creams and bakery goods [to lactose intolerant ppl, he gives u popsicles]

that was until he decided to prank you once day and put hair in your food

Never fell into his 'get in hole' game. You got stuck in it for 40 days without food and water. No kidding.

The mysterious hole is filled with nothing but junk.😭😭 very questionable junk

You both love to prank others though.

"Let's plant the bomb under Sigma's bathtub" "Extra points make it filled with pink glitter"

Sigma was covered in pink glitter for thirteen days.

But! Personally Nikolai would be one of the best cuddlers in the manga/anime

The first time he wore normal clothes instead of his usual multi layered buisness clothing, you were in tears. How could someone pull such simple clothes so fashionably?

You like to braid his hair. Even if you suck at it, he would wear your braiding loud and proud.

"Ahh quiztime! Who braided my hair?" "Sir this is-" "Wrong answer," boom "it's my love YN who braided it, you are no fun"

And that's how the city's McDonald's got blowed up.

overall he is a good insane boyfriend, so 10/10 cause I love him 😋

Fyodor

This man

I swear he is fine asf but would probably learn all the instruments you like so he can play it to you when you are kidnapped by Dazai most prob.

he is a Lil more insane then Nikolai so he would probably boom North Korea cause he was bored. [NK people i am jk-]

"what did you have for breakfast" "I don't know" "wrong answer" And the next moment you know, South of Yokohama got blowed up

He is the most broken richest man you ever met.

he can't buy clothes for himself or even upgrade the doa office but will gift you a wholeass country as a Birthday return gift.

you force him to wear dresses and paint his nails, 😭 but my man is so down bad that he is sub in this relationship.

"Sir we have bombed the tunne-" "Good verywell" "🧍🕯️" 😭 nah cause they are hella scared when he wears makeup.

He would probably take you to fireworks only for you to realise he is bombing the area again.

"fyodor, we talked about this" "No" and he proceeds to boom everything

he isn't much of a hugger and probably tries to runaway when you try to even touch him, but mf would suffocate you in his sleep with his hug

He probably had tried giving those evil laughs, but the moment he did that, he choked on air.

Me and a person on my server were having a convo and they said "He probably bites his nails to much and they are really short"

he owns a pet rat but denys it

honestly, he is a 10 but he is a terrorist who likes to bomb everything up. But he is your boyfriend and he is hot.

Sigma

-Are you the man of the relationship or he is?

he is more of a 'please don't kill anyone sweetheart' rather then supporting your actions and being a 'lets commit arson dear YN'

Mf is rich asf. He would deny it ofcourse and then proceed to shower you with silk clothes, Gucci , prada comfy…..such a sugar daddy

😭😭hear me out, he is a ball full of sunshine and anxiety but he wouldnt hesitate to kill anyone who does wrong to you or his casino.

-"Sigma am I your first priority?" "Yes-?" "Is the casino your first priority?" "Yes-?" "Me or the casino?" "Yes"

He probably cries everytime you ignore him.

HE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

once Nikolai kidnapped you for fun and man did Nikolai end up being half bald.

Sigma wants you to stay away from fyodor, because the last thing he knows is that he want to give fyodor a bombing partner.

Atp he doesnt want you to interact any of the DOA members, because little did he know, you will grow more insane with them.

I like to imagine you knowing Dazai and mentioning it to Sigma on occasions, and oh boy Sigma wanted to kill the man when he first met not because you talked a lot about him, but he would probably be the reason why you pull questionable strunt

10/10 Mama Sigma

He also doesnt allow you to run away freely in his casino, for all he knows is that you will cheat and win all the games.

He is so restrictive

You both probably or possibly may have this convo:

"BUT FYODOR GIFTED HIS S/O A WHOLE ASS COUNTRY, WHY CANT I GET THAT PLUSHIE??" "You cant cheat everytime to get the plushies" "BUT-" "Fyodor is a terrorist, we are not like them" "LEAST HE GIFTED HIS S/O-"

Your arguments probably never make sense to others, but its for you and Sigma to know.

Also he gave up on scolding you every time you try to eat casino coins.

He is such a 'I am trying to keep my S/O mentally sane' boyfriend, even if he needs to go to therapy. 8/10 bf material

Guys get a Sigma. Sigmas never disappoint.

A/N: Btw the discord server if you wanna join is here.

[rottenpumpkin13]

Well, now it’s time for the boys to cheer YOU up bud :)

-

Angeal: Hang in there, Pumpkin. You’re tough and steady. You have all the makings of an honorable warrior and deserve to see victory and dreams full-filled. You are weathering a brutal winter now, but spring is around the corner. You’ll see the sunlight and warm rain on the beautiful green earth once again. Stay strong ✊

Sephiroth: I have found that pushing Hojo down flights of stairs can be very good for improving one’s mental state.

Genesis: Remember, we are all apart of a grander tale that is wont to weave complex paths and dark trials for us along the way, but if you keep the inner flame and passion of your soul alight and remember that there is even glory and poetry in suffering for a greater cause, then you will triumph, darling. *blows kiss*

Sephiroth: Arson isn’t necessarily illegal if nobody sees you doing it…

Zack: HEY LISTEN UP! You are gonna KICK ASS and be an even MORE BADASS person for facing these tough times like you are, ok buddy? I BELIEVE IN YOU! Hell you could probably knock out a whole entire bahamut with how tough you are! Just hold on a bit longer and you’ll see!! Life will get awesome again 😎

Sephiroth: If you have a mother, you might benefit from receiving a hug from her.

Cloud: Hey uhhh…I’m not…very good at this but just wanted to say uhh…it’s rough out here but I think we’re gonna make it out alive…you know? Ah jeez. That probably sounded too dramatic sorry. Anyway uhh good luck with your journey, bud.

Sephiroth: Angeal is telling me I need to say something genuinely helpful and not murderous. I suggested McDonald’s but he does not appear to approve.

Sephiroth: Hmm.

Sephiroth: One time Genesis bought a jar of something called “The Goddess’s Bathwater” off of Ebay.

Genesis: IT WAS A FUCKING COLOGNE FUCK YOU

If this were not the internet I would show you the TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️💞💞💞

How are you this sweet??? Thank you so so Soo much 🥹💖 This is genuinely the first time I've laughed in a few days ❤️

[xarrixii]

Hello Published Writer! My name is JK Tolkien and I am a Published Author like you! You can find my work here.

We all know that every published author needs a book promoter they met off a c-list social media platform. That's why, if you hire me for my services, I will go out and burn down all the sandwich shops in your neighborhood. Imagine the press!

I have many qualified clients in the past. You can hear one of their stories here. I hope we get to connect!

Sincerely,

Mister The Babadook

interesting link choices. unfortunately, i know about the inspect tool.

good golly, clove. i really didn't know that you were JK Tolkien (i have no idea who this is). published author? that's so amazing. i didn't know my tumblr work got printed into a book. hopefully they have the updated chapter 19.

unfortunately, the subway, cousins subs, pizza place with gyros, jimmy johns, mcdonald's, arby's, local-fast-food-chain, and my house (where i can make my own sandwich) would enjoy not much of burning to the ground.

let's leave the arson to the professionals? (alph)

wait... does JK Tolkien go by Mister The Babadook?

who is JK Tolkien?

[notarealhomestuck]

I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from that anon when it comes to "Quirky" modifiers. They're hilarious, I love them. I'll take anything that gets an RP rolling (especially something unique), over the same tired bitch breakers, stacked, and sluts.

I may be a bit biased but at least the quirky starters have something to bite into, the real crimes are the boring one-liner's/starters. Like "Hi"'s, or just laying naked on the couch of a shared apartment, or like, being in the middle of a shower. There's already so much out there to dunk on, I'm not gonna rag on somebody for trying something different.

[lamborghinitoothpull]

You, Chris, and Steve o eat at McDonald’s and then later for desert you commit arson

[mxrpchronicle]

bro that mcdonalds arson person sounds insufferable actually. why are you writing paragraphs in response to someone not liking your starter dog its not that serious.

^^

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

Abby, Yara and Lev incorrect quilted cuz they are my children and I would die for them (with some other characters) xx

Abby: I really like Eminem.  Yara: I prefer skittles.  Abby: I’m talking about the rapper.  Lev: Why would you eat the wrapper?

Lev: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Abby way.  Yara: Isn't that the wrong way?  Lev: Yes, but it's faster.

Lev: It's locked. You got a lock pick?  Yara: Yeah-  Abby: *kicks in the door*

Abby: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!  Yara: Alright.  Lev: Hey, I-  Abby: SHUT UP!  Lev: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!  Yara: It was bound to be stupid.

Lev: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-  Abby: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~  Lev: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-  Yara, recording: This is so cute.

*Squad is playing Among Us*  Yara: I believe Lev is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Abby, what were you doing?  Abby: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

Lev: Thanks for not telling Yara what happened.  Abby, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Abby, to Yara: If Lev doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.  Lev, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Lev: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?  Yara: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!  Lev: Mean.

Lev: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…  Yara: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.  Lev: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…  Abby: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Abby: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!  Abby: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-  Lev: I did?  Abby: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Lev.  Abby: *walks away*  Lev:  Lev: She’s gone Owen.  Owen, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Thank you!

Lev: I have a plan.  Abby: I have the hospital and Mel on speed dial.

Lev, on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Mel, i uh, I’ve been stabbed.  ABBY: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?  Lev: Wait- You aren’t Mel. Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you-  Abby: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE AFTER BEING STABBED.

Yara: I'm very disappointed in you, Lev.  Abby: C'mon, don't get mad at Lev!  Yara: Abby, stop telling Lev it's okay for them to punch you! They need to learn not to punch people!  Abby: But I'm not a person!  Lev: Which is why I punched her!

Abby: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*  Yara: Hey, Abby, how was your day?  Abby: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Yara* Hell.  Lev, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

Abby: Where’s Lev?  Yara: Around.  Abby: Around?  Abby: You don’t have any idea, do you?  Lev, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

Abby: Hey, Lev. Why did the chicken cross the road?  Lev: To get to the other side?  Abby: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“  Lev: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?  Abby: To get to the idiot’s house.  Lev: ...Ok?  Yara: Hey, Lev. Knock knock.  Lev: No.  Yara: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”  Lev: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?  Yara: The chicken.  Lev: Abby: Yara: Lev:Listen here you little shits-

Yara: Yesterday, I overheard Lev saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Abby replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Yara: Abby, just think about this! I’m your hottest friend.  Yara: No, that’s Owen… I’m your nicest friend.  Yara: No, thats Lev... I’m your friend!

Abby: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.  Yara & Lev: Yara: Was it Lev?

*Lev is laying on the floor with their eyes closed*  Abby: Hey, are they sleeping or dead?  Yara, messing around: Hopefully dead, I hated them.  Abby, joining it: Yeah, me too.  Lev, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

Lev: Abby, just think about this! I’m your hottest friend.  Lev: No, that’s Yara… I’m your nicest friend.  Lev: No, thats Owen... I’m your friend!

[mors-mvrdre]

randomly generated incorrect quotes (ft. the extended Weasley Fam)

[not-so-slight NSFW warning, proceed at your own risk lol]

Harry: [gets a text] Oh! It’s Luna.

Ginny, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?

Harry: Yeah, she says they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.

Ginny: Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Harry: You wanted fake blood?

Ginny:

Harry: I’ll go call Luna.

Fleur: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Fleur: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Bill: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Fleur: Ominous positivity.

Computer: Please enter a password.

Oliver: *types in Angelina*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Oliver: How fucking DARE YOU-

Angelina: You don't think I can fight because of my gender!

George: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Harry could fight in that dress either.

Harry: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

George & Charlie in the back of Percy's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!

Bill: We have food at home.

Percy: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*

George & Charlie: YAYYYYYY!

Percy: *orders two black coffees and leaves*

Ron: Change is inedible.

Hermione: Don’t you mean inevitable?

Ron, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t.

Hermione & Percy: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Hermione & Percy playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

Harry: Hey, pal, if you have a problem, say it to my face.

Ron, getting really close to Harry: I'm two months behind on my rent.

Oliver: What have you been doing with all that time to yourself lately?

Percy: Suffering, mostly.

Percy: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Bill: This unmitigated poppycock?

George: Extravagant hogwash!

Percy: Okay, stop.

Fleur: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

Ron: Pizza should have poison in the sauce and the antidote is in the crust to kill off all the weak people who don't eat the crust.

Ginny: What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

Hermione: Have you ever ate a date?

Ginny: Like ate their ass?

Hermione: ...It's a fruit.

Fleur: What I MEANT to say was "Oh crap, I left my phone in my car," but what I ALMOST said was "Oh no, I left my cone in my phar," and damn, wouldn't that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was

Fleur: "Ah, my fart cone."

Bill:

Fleur: So, anyway...

Angelina: Define “dream”.

Percy: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.

Hermione: Percy! Teddy's right here!

Oliver: *gAsP*

Ron: wHAT??

Oliver: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

Ron: *inhales*

Percy, in another room with Harry: Why can I hear screeching?

[setting up the annual family game]

Oliver: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Oliver: Not you, Luna. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Luna: What’s your biggest fear?

Percy: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.

Ron: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.

Oliver: Zombies.

Percy: ...

Ron: ...

Oliver: BUT they can open doors.

Luna: *nods sagely*

Ginny: If you ever feel embarrassed just remember that in 4th Year I tried to convince myself that I wasn't gay by making a compromise to myself to "only be gay at night."

Hermione: I'm not doing to well.

Luna: What's wrong?

Hermione: I have this headache that comes and goes.

*George enters the room*

Hermione: There it is again.

Ginny: I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.

Percy: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?

Oliver: Are you calling me short?

Percy: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

Oliver: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Harry: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Hermione: A realist sees a freight train.

Percy: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

Angelina: Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken!

Ginny: That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from our coach.

Angelina, hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

Ron: *pitches an idea*

George, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Percy, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

Luna: Pokemon is trying to slowly convince us Pikachu was always fluffy and I for one accept this future.

Charlie: Did you think the mouse was just smooth and had yellow skin like a little simpsons demon??

Luna:

Luna: Maybe.

Ron: Ginny isn’t answering my messages.

Hermione: Allow me.

Ron: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Ginny: *replying to message* Hello.

Ginny: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Harry: Bees?

Ginny: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Harry: Wait-

*Bill approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Ginny, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Charlie, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Oliver: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Percy: Merry crisis.

Ginny: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

George: Hoe hoe hoe.

Oliver: Guys, please.

Percy: I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Charlie, rushing in: Percy! Bill tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

George: Hey, you want a tarot reading?

Percy: Those are Pokemon cards.

George: You got a magikarp.

Percy: ...

George: It means 'fuck you'.

Angelina: What the fuck.

Angelina: ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship.

Angelina: Who the hell watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.

George, skipping rocks on a lake with Angelina: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Angelina: Yeah, it is.

Angelina: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

Ginny, narrating: Percy and Luna scare us a lot because they walk very softly and nobody hears them enter rooms, so sometimes we turn around and they're just kind of there.

Percy: ...

Luna: Their fear fuels me.

Hermione: I don't want to have kids after 40.

Ron with a mouthful of soup: Yeah, forty is already plenty.

Luna: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.

Angelina: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?

Percy: What is your costume?

Fleur: A harp.

Percy: Your costume is too small to be a harp...

Fleur: Are you calling me a lyre?

Oliver: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Oliver: And I started thinking.

Oliver: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Oliver: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Percy, hesitantly: ...Are you ok?

Percy, writing overseas: Ginny got into a fight.

Bill & Charlie: That’s bad.

Bill & Charlie:

Bill & Charlie: Did she win?

Goerge: Am I right, Percy?

Percy: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Fleur: Truth or dare?

George: Truth.

Fleur: How many hours have you slept this week?

George:

George: Dare.

Fleur: Go to sleep.

George: I don't like this game.

George: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Percy: No, that's not how you make cookies.

Fred: FLOOR IT!!

Ginny: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Percy: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

George: WE'RE GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Ron: DO IT!

Percy: NO-

Teacher: Your child was in a fight.

Percy: Oh no, that’s terrible!

Oliver: Did they win?

Percy: This is horrible! This is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me!

Ginny: Oh-? Even more humiliating than that time I walked in on-

Percy: We are not doing this!

[ this has gone on long enough, I'll make a part two sometime aksjakdkskdkks see y'all ]

[fr3shm3at]

I was told to draw a Creeper commiting arson at McDonald’s