#mccain washington

[pcwpolwrestling]

11/6/2012-Replay of Extreme Election Night 2012

PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, OH Tuesday November 6th, 2012 Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Loud crowd chant of ‘PCW…PCW…PCW.’   Suave and Shania are in the ring.

Suave- HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W EX-TREEEEEME ELECTION NIGHT 2012!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- I am Johnny Suave, the Voice of PCW.  This smoking hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain.  Tonight, Barack Obama (D-IL) find out if he will have a second four term as PCW CEO.  Opposing him, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Suave runs down the card one last time: -Arizona- Jeff Flake (R) vs. Rich Carmona (D) -Montana- Denny Rehberg (R) vs. Jon Tester (D) -Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)-Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D) -Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D) -Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D) -Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

PCW Title Match: Triple R (D) © vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Suave- Last night on PCW Extreme Political TV, this went down…

“No Frills’ Chris Escondido Addresses the Independents Escondido says that both the Republicans and Democrats have disrespected independents for years even though they are the ones the power- the ones who swing elections.  He notes that there’s a disagreement between the Dawn McGill-William Daniels Bryan factions and tonight is going to settle all issues.  Tomorrow night is PCW Extreme Election Night and Independents will be there in force.

Bryan vs. McGill for the Heartland Title Bryan again used his wrestling skills to get McGill grounded yet again.  McGill kicked at him but Bryan first locked in a figure four and then the LaBell Lock.  This time McGill found herself in the middle of the ring and out of arm’s reach of the ropes.  This time, McGill had no choice but to tap out.

WINNER AND NEW HEARTLAND TITLE CHAMPION: William Daniels Bryan @ 8:15

McGill handed the belt to Bryan and then raised his arm in the air.  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido then joined them along with the rest of the PCW Independents.

Suave- So the Platte Populist William Daniels Bryan is the new Heartland Champion and it appears “No Frills” Chris Escondido is the de facto leader of the Independents.  Will the Independents swing the results here tonight?

Voice- NO!

Out runs Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver holding a huge binder of paper.

Nate Silver- This is proof that Barack Obama will be re-elected PCW CEO!  The Independents don’t mean anything.  This does.  It’s all about science and numbers- something the Republicans don’t understand.  Mark my words.  When tonight’s show is done- Barack Obama will be the next PCW CEO.

Then David Axelrod (D) saunters out.

David Axelrod- I’ll go one step further.  If Obama loses tonight, I’ll shave my mustache off.

Suave- There you have it.  Axelrod has put his mustache up as a guarantee that Barack Obama will win tonight.

Suave- Let’s head to the ring for our first match of the night.

MATCH #1: Jeff Flake (R-AZ) vs. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) Arizonians Flake and Carmona are both first time participants in PCW and vying for retiring Jon Kyl‘s (R-AZ) spot on the PCW Competition Committee.

The big issue over the upcoming match?  Carmona tried to imply that ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain (R-AZ) and Kyl endorsed him instead of Flake.

Suffice to say, neither McCain nor Kyl were amused and set out to make clear that they were and will be in Flake’s corner.

Marshall does the introductions and indeed, both the Straight Shooter John McCain and Jon Kyl are in Flake’s corner.  The bell rings and the match is underway.

Flake and Carmona hook up in the middle of the ring.  Flake  shoves Carmona down and sets up for an Elbow Drop… BOOM.. Then another Elbow Drop… BOOM.  Carmona comes back with a back breaker on Flake and then tries an early elbow submission.  Flake escapes and gets dropped by a slingshot elbow. Carmona applies the camel clutch but Flake escapes to the floor.  Flake catches Carmona climbing out of the ring with a low blow.  Carmona goes down.  Flake grabs Carmona’s shoulders, turns him around, and boots him in the ass.  Flake follows with an open hand chop.

Flake rolls Carmona back into the ring and continues to work him over, but Carmona regains control by whipping Flake into the corner.  Carmona retrieves Flake and applies an overhead wrist lock but Flake muscles Carmona to the corner to break the hold.  Carmona heads up top.  Flake tries to knock him off the turnbuckle, but Carmona takes the arm and slaps on the cross arm breaker while hanging over the top rope.

Carmona releases the hold and slides back into the ring.  He whips Flake to the corner and charges in.  Flake floats over into a roll-up pin and gets a two count. Both men get back to their feet, but Carmona regains control and repeatedly punches Flake’s arm.  Carmona tries for another over-the-top-rope cross arm breaker but Flake blocks.   Carmona goes for a back breaker / neck breaker combo, but Flake counters with a drop kick.  Flake tries another drop kick but Carmona catches Flake’s leg and drops to his knees to hyperextend the knee. Carmona wrenches the injured leg around the second rope. Flake tries to get away, but Carmona grabs the injured leg and pulls him down to the mat. Carmona locks in a single leg Boston crab on the injured leg right in the middle of the ring.

Flake tries to crawl toward the ropes, but Carmona pulls him back to the middle of the ring.   Out of nowhere, Jon Kyl jumps into the ring and kicks Carmona.   Then John McCain comes in and…LOW BLOWS CARMONA!  Carmona drops to his knees.  Flake hits a basement dropkick and covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jeff Flake (R-AZ)

Suave- John McCain and Jon Kyl come through for Jeff Flake and he wins here at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012!

Outside PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s Office Two guards stand outside.

Suave- Four years ago, Bubba Jackson announced to the political wrestling world that Barack Obama would follow George W. Bush as the next PCW CEO.  Tonight, will he keep Obama on for another four years?  Or will he choose Mitt Romney?  Stay tuned.  Let’s go back to the ring.

MATCH #2 Linda McMahon (R-CT) vs. Chris Murphy (D-CT) Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestler Paul Levesque(Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.

Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.

In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy.  Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon?  Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy?

Vince McMahon, Paul Levesque, and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque join Linda McMahon at ringside.  Vince immediately starts talking to the referee as the match begins.  Linda tries to connect with a knee but Murphy moves back.  McMahon knifehand chops Murphy.  Murphy throws McMahon off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block.   Murphy goes to follow up but Vince McMahon trips him up.

Suave- Are here we go.  I still can’t believe that the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, is here in PCW.

Murphy moves back to his feet and glares at McMahon.  Murphy goes for a body slam but McMahon slips out.  Murphy puts McMahon in the hangman submission.  Vince in the ring and pulls Murphy off.   Vince clocks Murphy with a closed fist and the referee literally has to pull him off.  Vince is sent out of the ring but he stays on the apron and continues a running dialogue with the referee.

Suave- I think he’s saying that’s not how they do things in the WWE.

McMahon hits Murphy with a elbow smash to the face.  McMahon knees Murphy and lifts him for a powerslam- but she’s not strong enough to lift Murphy.  McMahon goes for a hiptoss but is unable to lift Murphy.  McMahon bites Murphy’s arm.  Vince throws a chair in the ring.  McMahon opens up the chair…Murphy into the ropes…drop toe hold onto the open chair! McMahon stands up.  McMahon with an armdrag.  Murphy powers up and then they lockup.  Murphy whips McMahon to the corner of the ring.  Meanwhile, Vince McMahon continues a running commentary to the referee who appears to be getting tired of it.

McMahon jabs Murphy.  Murphy comes back with a swinging DDT and covers. 1…2…Vince in and makes the save.  Vince with the chair.  *WHAP*  Murphy’s down.  Linda’s not in a position to make the cover.  And the referee stops the match.

Suave- WHAT IS HE DOING?  HE’S SENDING THE McMAHON FAMILY TO THE BACK!

The crowd roars and Vince is livid.  Levesque in the ring and he lets the referee have it.  Finally, PCW security intervenes and escorts the McMahons to the back.

Suave- Wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

Murphy clotheslines Linda McMahon.  He then goes with a double underhook and piledrives her right into the mat.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Chris Murphy (D)

Suave- Chris Murphy with the win here and…WATCH OUT!

Vince McMahon is back and he decks the referee.  PCW security again swarm to the ring and McMahon is escorted out of the arena.

Suave-More Extreme Election Night after this.

PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein…

…interviews world famous swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen.

Teigen tells Bernstein that she’s glad to be at PCW Extreme Election Night to lend her support to Barack Obama.

This causes some of the more rabid Republicans in the crowd to start booing.  Teigen smiles through it and continues the interview with Bernstein.

The nastiness continues and finally, Kathryn Randall Collins (D), Code Pink (D), and Emily S List (D) come out.

Code Pink- This is proof that the Republicans are waging a war against women!

The Democrats cheer while the Republicans boo.

Then actress Melissa Joan Hart walks out.

She tells the crowd that she supports Mitt Romney and that sometimes you have to agree to disagree.

Now it’s the Republicans who cheer while the Democrats are silent.  Code Pink and List look at each other.  Then they attack Hart.

Suave- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) runs in and runs off both Code Pink and Emily S List.

MATCH #3 PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D) The phenomenon known as Jill Berg comes into PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 as a successful businesswoman and one woman force of political destruction.  She faces young C.J. Lewis.  Lewis, a former waitress at Hooter’s,  charged up to the top of the Democratic ranks by defeating long time standard bearer Kathryn Randall Collins to gain a shot at the PCW Women’s title against Berg.

Democrats want this match badly to continue their ‘Republican‘s War Against Women’ mantra.  Can Lewis overcome her lack of experience and pull off an upset win over Berg?

Lewis in the ring, ready to go.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd roars.

Suave: “THAT’ SOUND!  IT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE PERSON!”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry.

Suave: “IT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION- JILL BERG!”

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder.  He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg hits the ring, warmed up and ready to go after the earlier altercation.

The bell rings and Berg wastes no time going on the attack. Reverse neckbreaker to Lewis followed by a rolling elbow smash.   Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash and the women’s champion is on fire.  At ringside, Code Pink and Emily S List watch as Berg spinkicks Lewis.   C.J. pokes Berg in the eyes to relieve the pressure.  C.J. with a neck scissors but Berg mule kicks her and sends her sprawling.  Berg rolls onto Lewis connecting with a knee.  Code Pink and List interfere and hit a doubleteam gutbuster on the women’s champion. C.J. Lewis gets back to her feet and stares down Code Pink and List.  Berg pops back up and throws her into the turnbuckle.  Berg follows up and smashes Lewis’s head into the corner turnbuckle.

Double axhandle chop from Berg.  Running neckbreaker drop takes C.J. down hard.  Berg locks Lewis in the kneebar but she escapes.  Berg then tosses Lewis out of the ring.  Berg rams Lewis into the corner turnbuckle and the challenger gets a cut as a result.   Berg goes for a belly-to-back superplex but Lewis slips out.  Berg instead hits the jumping sidekick on Lewis.

Suave- So far, Jill Berg’s experience is way too much for the youngster C.J. Lewis.

Back in the ring, Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash.  Berg moves in for the kill but Lewis bites her arm out of desparation.  C.J. whips Berg off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Lewis with a headbutt and then a short lariat takes the women’s champion down.

Berg spins and hits Lewis with a back fist.  C.J. whipped hard off the ropes into a clothesline.  Diving elbow smash follows.  Berg grabs C.J.’s head and slams her face into the turnbuckle.  She goes to do it again but this time, Lewis blocks and then drives Berg’s head into the turnbuckle.  Belly-to-belly superplex by Lewis.

Suave- Now the challenger coming back!

Bridging back suplex by Lewis.  She covers…1…2…shoulder up.  Lewis chants start.  Lewis with the body slam.  Cover…1…2…shoulder up again.   Berg rakes her fingers across C.J.’s back. Code Pink and Emily S List again attack.  Doubleteam backbreak to the champion.  Code Pink is going for the Glitter Bomb but wait?

Melissa Joan Hart in the ring with a steel chair.  *WHAP* Down goes Code Pink.  *WHAP*  Down goes List.  Lewis distracted.  Berg back up and chops Lewis.  Berg takes a step back…SPEAR!  She takes a step back…SPINNING HEEL KICK!  Berg lifts Lewis over her shoulder…JACKHAMMER SLAM!  Cover.  Referee counts. …1 …2 …3!

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg ®

Suave- UNBELIEVABLE!  CODE PINK AND EMILY S LIST ARE GOING TO BE PISSED WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY’VE COST C.J. LEWIS THE MATCH!  HELL, LEWIS IS GOING TO BE PISSED!

Lewis stands up and glares at both Code Pink and List after the match.

MATCH #4  Denny Rehberg (R-MT) vs. Jon Tester (D-MT) Rehberg and Tester will meet in what has been a hotly competitive run up to their Extreme Election Night match.

Tester is the incumbent member of the PCW Executive Committee while Rehberg currently holds a spot on PCW’s Competition Committee.  This is expected to be a knock down, drag out affair with both men seemingly equally matched.

The difference maker in the match could be a third man- Libertarian Dan Cox.  Will Cox be a spoiler and help Tester pull out the win?

Tester starts by bouncing Reiberg off the ropes and clotheslining him. Tester puts Reiberg in an arm grapevine submission but Reiberg pokes Tester in the eyes to escape. Reiberg gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Tester comes over and rams Reiberg’s head into the corner turnbuckle.  Tester goes for a DDT.  But Reiberg stands up and hits Tester with the belly-to-belly suplex.  Reiberg measures Tester up and drops a closed fist.  Then Reiberg whips him out of the ring.

Tester climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Reiberg kicks him back down to the arena floor. Reiberg follows Tester to the outside.  Tester whips Reiberg into the ring steps.  Reiberg gets back to his feet, but Tester attacks again and rolls Reiberg back into the ring.

Dan Cox (L) now walking to the ring.

Tester locks in a rear chin lock in the middle of the ring.   Boot the face by Tester and a cover for a two count.  Tester works over Reiberg.  Cox comes out and tries to stun gun Reiberg.  Reiberg reverse and slings Cox out of the ring.  Tester bails out too and REIBERG DIVES OUT ON BOTH OF THEM!

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Cox tries to run Reiberg into the post.   Reiberg reverses.  He whips Cox into the ring post.  Cox stops in his tracks but Reiberg dropkicks him from behind, sending him hard into the steel!

Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!

Back in the ring, Tester hits a few suplexes.  Reiberg spins out of a tilt a whirl attempt by Tester and dropkicks him. Tester with a lariat and goes to Irish whip him into the ropes but Reiberg headbutts him and gets free.  He goes for the splash off the top but Tester moves to safety.  Reiberg surprises Tester with a low blow and rolls-up Tester- he kicks out.  Tester pops up ready to go but Reiberg hits him with the DDT! TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN! Cox comes in to go after Reiberg but HITS TESTER BY ACCIDENT! REIBERG PINS BUT TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN.

Reiberg brawls with Cox to the outside.  By the time he returns to the ring, Tester’s had way too much time to recover.  Tester in control and throws Reiberg into the railing.  Tester suplexes the actual railing back onto Reiberg.

Crowd- HOLY ****!  HOLY ****!

Tester drags Reiberg back to the ring.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jon Tester (D)

Republican War Room Republican Leader Reince Priebus anxiously paces back and forth while his pollsters crunch the numbers.

Both Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) burst into the room.

McConnell- Jesus, we’re getting killed out there, Reince!  I thought this was in the bag.

Preibus- That’s what I was told.

Boehner- Now I’m hearing rumors that PCW Owner Bubba Jackson is seriously favoring returning Barack Obama for another four year term as PCW CEO.

Preibus- We’re working on it.

The pollsters hits the phones and try to find out just what the hell is going on.

Suave- So far, the Democrats have the upper hand and this next match is crucial.  Let’s go to the ring.

MATCH #5: Sherrod Brown (D-OH) vs. Josh Mandel (R-OH) Six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006, Sherrod Brown (D-OH) was the outsider taking on entrenched Mike DeWine (R-OH) for a berth on the PCW Executive Committee.

Now the tables have turned and Brown is the insider trying to fight off the challenge of young Josh Mandel (R-OH) and keep his seat.  Can Brown’s experience and guile overcome Mandel’s youthfulness?   The run up has been harsh and contentious and the match at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 promises to be the same.

Kimber Marshall makes the introductions.  Former PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) join Sherrod Brown at ringside and they taunt the young Mandel before the bell rings.

Brown immediately on the offense and places Mandel on the turnbuckle.  Front-layout superplex.  Mandel tries a spinning leg lariat on Brown who ducks it.  Brown hits Mandel with the double arm DDT into the mat and then connects with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Brown climbs to his feet and covers Mandel hooking the leg …1 …2 Mandel kicks out.  Brown grabs Mandel and applies an arm wrench.  Brown covers Mandel. …1 …2 Mandel kicks out again.  Brown hits the German Suplex on Mandel. He knees Mandel and rolls him out of the ring into the waiting arms of Big Union.

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker work Mandel over.  Brown joins in and elbows the midsection. Big Labor lifts Mandel up…powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Big Labor rolls Mandel back into the ring.  Brown makes the academic cover…1..2…3.

WINNER: Sherrod Brown (D)

Nate Silver runs out and shouts that “he was right,” “he was right.”  Suave reminds everyone that we won’t know until later on who will be the PCW CEO.

Suave- The Democrats pick up another one as Brown’s experience rules the day.

‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor gets on the mic after the match.

Big Labor- Scott Walker’s Rangers!  Did you see what happened here?  This is going to happen to you!

BACKSTAGE Vince McMahon tries to get to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office but security blocks his way.

McMahon- DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?  I’M VINCE ******* McMAHON!  I’VE MADE MORE MONEY OFF PRO WRESTLING IN ONE HOUR THEN THIS PIECE OF **** POLITICAL FEDERATION WILL EVER MAKE IN IT’S LIFETIME.   THERE’S-

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall.  He grabs McMahon by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

MATCH #6 Claire McCaskill (D-MO) vs. Todd Akin (R-MO) In Missouri, Claire McCaskill (D-MO) is defending her spot on the PCW Executive against challenger Todd Akin (R-MO).

Early on, the conventional wisdom was that McCaskill was vulnerable.  However, once Akin opened up a big can of controversy over his ‘legitimate rape’ remarks, McCaskill has climbed back into the contest.  Can McCaskill close the deal or will Akin somehow manage to overcome his own missteps to win a spot on the Executive Committee.

McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Claire McCaskill (D)

Once again, Nate Silver runs out and shouts “I told ya!  I told ya!”

Backstage Claire McCaskill high fives an aide as she makes her to the back.  She’s confronted by Richard Mourdock (R-IN).

Mourdock- I can’t believe you did that to him.

Replay: McCaskill vs. Akin McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

Mourdock- That was totally not called for.  Totally not- OOOF.

McCaskill splits the uprights with a well placed kick and drops Mourdock.

Republican Locker Room “The Mastermind” Karl Rove, as always, pointing to his temple to make sure everyone realizes he’s a f****** genius,  is doing his best to keep a semblance of order.

Suave- Yeah, good luck with that.

Democratic Locker Room Talking with Stephanie Cutter, David Axelrod isn’t nearly as concerned about the welfare of his mustache as he was earlier in the night.

Axelrod- It’s time to unleash the GOTV.

Suave- We’re ready for our next match and it should be a good one.

MATCH #7 Tim Kaine (D-VA) vs. George Allen (R-VA) George Allen (R-VA) lost a tough match six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006 to James Webb (D-VA).

Tonight, Allen looks to return to the PCW Executive Committee as he takes on former Democratic Leader Tim Kaine (D-VA). This will be another bellwether match to gauge whether the Republicans will regain control of the Executive Committee and there’s a lot riding on the result.

Suave- I’m not sure if it’s as much of a bellwether now.  It’s clear the Democrats are going to hold the PCW Executive Committee and the Republicans the Competition Committee.

Following Kimber Marshall’s introductions, the bell rings.  Kaine comes out on fire and nails Allen repeatedly with right hands.  Allen whipped into the corner.  Kaine places Allen on the turnbuckle- front-layout suplex.  Kaine gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Allen.  Kaine sweeps Allen’s leg and rolls onto him with a knee.  Allen gets right up and nails Kaine with an inverted DDT. He sends Kaine to ringside and follows.  Allen throws a chair at Kaine.  High crossbody by Allen.  Kaine punched in the gut but Kaine comes back with a rake to the eyes and heads back to the ring.  Allen follows but gets pulled back to the floor by the Democrats GOTV (Grapple to Total Victory)- consisting of Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy.

Hey, it was the best we could come up with.

Bain lifts Allen and hits a running powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Bain and O’Kennedy roll Allen back into the ring.  Belly to belly by Kaine.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Tim Kaine (D)

Nate Silver again runs out to proclaim that “he was right.”

Republican Locker Room ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove can’t believe it.   Republican Leader Reince Preibus can’t believe it.  He again turns to the pollsters.

Preibus – What’s going on here?

Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly walks in.

O’Reilly- I’ll tell you what’s going on.  You’re getting your ass kicked.

Preibus- Where are the Independents?

BACKSTAGE Speaking of PCW’s Independent/Unaffiliated contingent, they enter through a back door into Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon led by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan.

An aide comes up to Escondido and tells him that Barack Obama wants to talk with him.  Escondido nods and leaves with the aide while Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Ken Worth- The American Trucker wait.

Suave- Here are the Black Swamp Pirates!”

The crowd stands and cheers as the Pirates come out and plug themselves in. The lead singer, Junior Jackson, strums his acoustic guitar and steps up to the mic.

Jackson- Y’all know this one.  This is our ode to Keith Olbermann.  It’s called ‘Keith.’

Jackson (sings):Keith, you hit it big at ESPN But then your tenure there came to an abrupt end I know it seems so silly They won’t let you back in the building Even when you went back, and worked for them again

“Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down So you traveled on from town to different town Fox Sports didn’t work out well MSNBC the first time was hell Cause Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down “But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked

So you became even more of an overbearing elitist jerk And now you just don’t care

Compared to you Fox News is balanced and fair And you make good ol’ Ann Coulter seem almost moderate to us

Jackson- All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus) “Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Jackson- All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

“Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe You said, I was the worst person in the world But you’re still the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd give them a standing ovation. Johnny Suave even gives them a standing ovation.

MATCH #8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) vs. Scott Brown (R-MA) Two years ago, Brown (R-MA) upset Martha Coakley (D-MA) for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. This year, he finds himself in a battle royale with challenger Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

Warren, who has Democratic political wrestling stalwarts Code Pink and Emily S List in her corner, is pushing hard to return the Massachusett’s seat back to the Democrats.

Can Brown hold off Warren’s challenge?  Will Warren pick off a seat the Republicans need to take back control of the PCW Executive Committee?   We’ll find out in just four days at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

Warren trips up Brown and then hits a corkscrew legdrop.  Brown climbs to his feet and kicks Warren in the groin.  She drops like a shot.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  DID HE JUST DO WHAT I THOUGHT HE DID?

Warren jumps back up and kicks Brown in the groin just as the Democratic GOTV hits the ring again.  Bain bounces Brown off the ropes and faceslams him onto the mat.  Paddy O’Kennedy gives Brown a reverse neckbreaker.  Bain nails Brown with a huge slingshot sommersault splash.

Suave- The Democrat’s GOTV is kicking ass.  Where’s the Republican answer?

Republican Locker Room Reince Preibus is talking with a rather large gentleman…as in really large.

Preibus- ORCA.  I need you to get in there and take out the GOTV.

ORCA nods and lumbers out the door.

Back ringside, Brown brawls outside with O’Kennedy but not for long.  Bain sets up a pair of chairs in the ring and powerbombs Brown on them. Warren brings a table into play.  Belly to belly from Bain sends Brown through the table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus is furious.

Preibus- Where the **** is ORCA?

Cut to…

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus- SON OF A BITCH!

Back in the ring, Bain rolls what’s left of Brown in and Warren makes the academic cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) join Warren and the GOTV in the ring to celebrate.

And yes, Nate Silver again runs out and…yeah.

At ringside, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews is just giddy as the Democrats not only hold the PCW Executive Committee but Barack Obama appear to be on the verge of a second term as PCW CEO.

Matthews- Thank God that hurricane came along!

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Matthews- NO!  I didn’t mean it like that!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down to ringside.   Matthews tries to run for it but WTF grabs him by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

BACKSTAGE

PCW’s Towel Boy returns from cleaning the ring ropes and jokes that the Republicans are as dead as the Los Angeles Lakers.

Suddenly, Kobe Bryant walks in and…

Kobe Death Stare

Suave- DON’T LOOK!  DON’T LOOK!

Towel Boy drops dead quicker than the Lakers pulled the plug on Mike Brown this season.

Suave- HE LOOKED!

Meanwhile…

THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (D), pointing to his temple to remind everyone just how much of a f****** genius he is, continues to try to reassure the Republicans that everything’s okay…

…and it’s not working.

MATCH #9 PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (Rep) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) Ever since Scott Walker’s Rangers won the PCW Tag Team belts at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 pay per view, Big Union and the Democrats have been gunning for a return match.  Tonight at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the two combustible forces will smash into each other with only one team leaving the ring as the PCW Tag Team champions.

Kimber Marshall – Our next match is for the PCW Tag Team Title.  On the way to the ring at this time, ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker!!!

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, accompanied by the Democrats’ GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy, PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, come to the ring.

Kimber Marshall – and their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Scott Walker (R-WI), they are the PCW Tag Team Champions- the team of Ronnie Walker and John Walker, Scott Walker’s Rangers!

Ronnie Walker and John Walker walk to the ring with Scott Walker.

Suave- This is it…Big Union has been waiting for this match and tonight they get their shot at regaining the PCW Tag Team Title.

PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) join Scott Walker ringside as the bell sounds.

Ronnie Walker charges across the ring and nails Big Labor with a charging axhandle bodyblock.  Ronnie springs off the ropes but this time Big Labor clotheslines him.  Ronnie Walker tries to come back with a jawbreakeron but Big Labor pushes him off.  Big Labor tackles Ronnie Walker and punches him repeatedly.

Suave – Big Labor trying to use his power and strength against Ronnie Walker.

Ronnie tries a waistlock suplex but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  Big Labor throws him out to the floor.  Big Labor follows and tells Ronnie he wants to wrestle.  Then he promptly nails Ronnie with a folding chair.  Big Labor with a backdrops and Paddy O’Kennedy of the Democratic GOTV follows with a pescado.  Big Labor decides to get mean and dumps Ronnie Walker on the rail. Big Labor throws him over the rail into the crowd. The fight heads out into the fans for a brawl.  Big Labor takes it up a notch by powerbombing Ronnie Walker on the floor.

Suave- Well, he’s dead. It’s over.

The crowd calls for Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew.

Nurse Nellie

Big Labor calls for the bell saying it’s over.  But somehow Boehner and McConnell roll Ronnie back in.

Big Labor chases Boehner and McConnell from the ring and turns and shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker.  Ronnie Walker then whipped into the corner.  He stumbled back out and right into a gut-wrench powerbomb.  Ronnie tries to crawl to his corner but James the Jeep Worker slips in and pulls him across the ring.  Big Labor goes to the top and drops the Elbow on Ronnie Walker.  Cover…1…2…John Walker in for the save.

Suave- JOHN WALKER JUST MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW HE’S BRAWLING WITH JAMES THE JEEP WORKER.

John and James roll out of the ring and spill onto the floor.  Ronnie Walker tries for a crotch slam but can’t lift Big Labor.   Samoan Drop by Big Labor and Ronnie Walker is down. John Walker back in.  Big Labor clotheslines John Walker. Ronnie Walker blasts Big Labor from behind with a chairshot and pummels his head.  Ronnie Walker drops a closed fist.  Now James the Jeep Worker in and he tackles Ronnie Walker.  Big Labor sends Ronnie Walker into the turnbuckle.  In comes Bain and he splashes Ronnie Walker.  Now, O’Kennedy back in.  Spinning neck-breaker sends Ronnie to the mat.

Suave- No doubt about it.  The Democrats’ GOTV is kicking serious ass here tonight.  What happened to the Independents?

In a back hallway Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and the rest of the Independents were sprawled over the floor with the Chicago Boss Squad and the Department of Justice standing over them.

Suave- Oh…

Big Labor pulls Ronnie Walker up.  James the Jeep Worker in- swinging bulldog on drives Ronnie’s face to the mat.  John Walker again in the ring but he gets intercepted by O’Kennedy.  Ronnie Walker tries for a inverted backbreaker but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  But Big Labor can…Powerslam! Powerslam! Powerslam! Big Labor flings sweat at Ronnie and hits a fourth powerslam.

Mitch McConnell is audibly heard shouting into a cell phone, “Where the **** is ORCA?”

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s STILL patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

RINGSIDE McConnell- SON OF A BITCH!

Big Labor with a spine buster to Ronnie Walker.  He lifts Ronnie Walker and drops him with a ScabBuster.  Cover…1   John Walker in for one last try but  gets Picket Lined by James the Jeep Worker.  …2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Reid, Pelosi, and the GOTV mob Big Union in the ring after the referee gave them the PCW Tag Team belts.

Suave- Two time PCW Tag Team Champions- Big Union regains the belts here at PCW Extreme Election Night.

BACKSTAGE ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, slightly disheveled now, insists to anyone who’ll listen that it’s still not over.

Rove- There’s something not right about this-

CUE: Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT…AGAIN!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall. He grabs Rove by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

As yet again, the PCW clean up crew comes down to clean the mess left behind, Suave again reviews the results up to date:

Match 1- Jeff Flake (R-AZ) def. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) with an assist from ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain and Jon Kyl.

Match 2- Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Linda McMahon (R-CT) after the referee ejected McMahon’s husband, WWE Magnate Vince McMahon and her family from ringside.

Match 3- Jill Berg ® retained the PCW Women’s title over C.J. Lewis (D) when Code Pink and Emily S List’s interference backfired thanks to a hand from Melissa Joan Hart.

Match 4- Jon Tester (D-MT) def. Denny Rehberg (R-MT)

Match 5- Sherrod Brown (D-OH) def. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Match 6- Claire McCaskill (D-MO) def. Todd Akin (R-MO)

Match 7- Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)

Match 8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) def. Scott Brown (R-MA)

Match 9- Big Union: “The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) to win the PCW Tag Team Title.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE No movement yet.  Security continues to stand guard outside the door.

HALLWAY Karl Rove (R) keeps trying to keep everyone calm.

Back to the ring.

Suave- And now, it all comes down to this.  The PCW Title match.  Let’s go to the ring.

MAIN EVENT- PCW Title Match: Triple R (D)© vs. P.M.C. Banks (R) Finally, the big one- the PCW Title match.  After several years of trying, after switching parties multiple times and trying new personas, Triple R  finally won the title from The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.

Now, the veteran Angry Highway Warrior also known as Road Range Randy gets boy banker P.M.C. Banks ® as his first major challenge as PCW Champion.  In a match that always serves as a bellwether to who will be selected the next PCW CEO, Banks finds himself the underdog to Triple R. in this Tuesday’s title encounter.

Can the young Banks close out Triple R’s title run at a scant two months? Will Triple R take it to the political extreme and retain his PCW Title belt? We’re about to find out.

Marshall- This next match is for the PCW Title. Coming to the ring, the challenger from the financial district of Manhattan, Republican P.M.C. Banks!

Banks slowly comes to the ring accompanied by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), aide de camp candidate Paul Ryan (R-WI), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Boehner’s aide Eric Cantor (R-VA), and Mitch ‘It’s Your Constitiutional Right to Spend as Much Money as You Want to Buy Influence in Our Government’ McConnell (R-KY).

Banks warily climbs into the ring.

Marshall- And his opponent, he is the ‘Angry Highway Warrior.  He is Road Rage Randy.  But you can call him the P-C-W Champion!  Triple R!

Triple R comes to the ring with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), Obama’s aide de camp Joe ‘Don’t Call Me Neil Kinnock’ Biden (D-DE), PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry ‘Don’t Call Me Emperor Palpatine’ Reid (D-NV), and Nancy Pelosi.

Triple R goes to the center of the ring and offers his hand to Banks.  Banks cautiously reciprocates but Triple R pulls it away at the last second and knifehand chops the challenger.  The bell rings and it’s on.

Banks runs out and Triple R takes him down with a knee. The champion goes for an arm grapevine submission but Banks gets back to his feet.  Triple R slaps Banks and taunts him.  Triple R picks up Banks and front slams him to the mat. He hooks the leg for an early cover but Banks kicks out.  Banks gets thrown into the turnbuckle.  Triple R comes over and smashes Banks’s head into it and then brings Banks back out and hits jumping neck snap.  Triple R goes top rope but Banks recovers and pulls him down hard to the mat.  Banks drops Triple R neck first over the ropes and then sends him to ringside.  Banks does a cartwheel and kicks Triple R in the face.  Kneeling headbutt to Triple R’s groin.

Suave- And they’re outside.  Not sure this is a good idea for Banks.

Banks starts to head back into the ring but again, the Democrats GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy (D) come down and interject themselves into the match. Bain pulls Banks back through the ropes and then wings him hard into the guardrail.   O’Kennedy leaps from the ring apron and dropkicks Banks into the guardrail.  Triple R grabs a TV cable and starts choking out Banks with it.  Romney climbs up on the apron to complain but…

Candy Crowley of CNN steps in between the referee and Mitt Romney.

Suave- WHAT THE HELL? CROWLEY’S STOPPING ROMNEY FROM ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE?

While that’s going on, Triple R starts bashing Banks with crap and then lays him over the rail before dropping a leg.   O’Kennedy sets up a table and Triple R can drive Bank’s head through it.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Banks is bleeding all over the place.  O’Kennedy dropkicks a chair into Banks’ face for good measure.  Banks falls back on his arm awkwardly and appears to have injured it.  Triple R wastes no time and goes after the injured arm with chairshots.  Triple R with the DDT.  The GOTV set up a table.  Triple R sets Banks up but O’Kennedy miscues and accidently superkicks Triple R.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  He just took Triple R’s head off.

But O’Kennedy moonsaults Banks.  New PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker run down and set Banks up on the table.  O’Kennedy with another moonsault but the table doesn’t break.  Big Labor throws Banks back into the ring.  Triple R covers but only gets two.  Big Labor  immediately hits the Scabbuster and Triple R covers…1…2…NO!  ORCA?  ORCA MADE THE SAVE?

Suave- Well, it’s bloody about time he did something.

It’s shortlived.  Both the GOTV and Big Union attack ORCA and drive him from the ring.  Triple R sets up the table in the corner and whips Banks through it.  Cover…1…2…Banks kicks out.  Triple R stomps Banks.  Double arm DDT by the champion and another cover..1…2..somehow Banks kicks out again.  Banks then low bridges Triple R and rallies.  He rains down right hands on the champion.  Banks for the Moneybomb and hits it…but MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz race to the ring and complain to the referee.  That brings down Fox News’s contingent of Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, and Megyn Kelly and while Banks has Triple R pinned, MSNBC, joined by ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox News argue with the referee.

Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver sneaks into the ring and whaps Banks in the head with a large book of spreadsheets and Triple R manages to regain control of the match.  Triple R with a forearm. And another.  Banks ducks a third so Triple R hits a sit down powerbomb!  Pissed off, Triple R leaves the ring and goes and gets the ring bell. The referee tries to take it away from him.

Suave- TRIPLE R WITH THE RING BELL!  HE DID THE EXACT SAME THING FIVE YEARS AGO AT LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 3!

Replay: PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ RUMBLE!” Somewhere away from the crowd, Starz’s lariat attempt is blocked when Triple R rips the bell away from the referee and slams it in Starz’s face. Suave: “GAME OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! THAT’S IT! TRIPLE R HAS REGAINED THE PCW TITLE.!”

Triple R in the ring with the bell.  Romney and Ryan both on the apron to complain to the referee and…what?

ABC’s Martha Raddatz runs down the ramp.

Suave- What is SHE doing down here?

Triple R blasts Banks with the bell.  Raddatz shouts at the referee and points to the ring.  The referee turns and Triple R has Banks pinned…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D)

The Democrats in the crowd are ecstatic.  The Republicans?  Stunned.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE The door opens and out walks PCW Owner Bubba Jackson.

Suave- IT’S TIME!  BUBBA JACKSON IS ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!

Crowd- PCW…PCW…PCW!

Obama, Triple R, and the Democrats celebrate in the ring.

Suave- AND NOW, IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT IF BARACK OBAMA GETS FOUR MORE YEARS AT THE HELM OF PCW OR WHETHER MITT ROMNEY WILL TAKE HIS PLACE!

Silver takes the microphone from Suave.

Silver- I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL.  THESE SPREADSHEETS PROVE THAT OBAMA WILL BE NAMED THE PCW CEO AGAIN.  I TOLD YOU…I TOLD YOU ALL…I TOLD-

CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!  HERE COMES THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races to the ring.  He grabs Silver by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- Thank you.  And now, it’s time…

PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson thanks everyone for coming out.

Jackson- We’ve been through a lot over the past four years.  The deficit is way too high and PCW is not on the soundest economic ground right now.

David Axelrod says the conditions were bad when Obama started his term in 2009.

Jackson- No.  George W. Bush hasn’t been the PCW CEO for the past four years.   This was a tough call but I have come to a decision.  The PCW mid and lower card wrestlers are struggling hard right now.  Mitt Romney.  You ran a good campaign but in the end- what solutions to our problems did you propose differed than the ones Republicans have proposed in the past?  Cut taxes?  These times call for breaking out of the same old ideas.

Jackson motions to Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Republicans John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to step forward.

Jackson- You along with the current, and next, PCW CEO Barack Obama helped make this mess.  You need to fix it.   It’s Obama.

The Democrats erupt as Obama wins a second term as PCW CEO.   Obama and Romney shake hands in the ring as the scene dissolves to the Des Moines International Airport in Des Moines, Iowa.

Marco Rubio (R-FL) exits a plane and climbs into a waiting limo.

[thenewdemocratus]

Donald J. Trump On Military Veterans

Source:The Independent talking about Donald J. Trump’s past comments on American military veterans. Source:The New Democrat “Donald Trump is again denying that he called American soldiers who died in World War I in France “suckers” and “losers,” as attention has returned to the alleged comments during Joe Biden’s recently concluded state visit to the country. During a rally Sunday in Las Vegas,…

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

We must make our focus keeping the barbarians outside the gate, not figuring out how to lessen the damage once they are on the inside. That was my immediate thought Sunday when I read NY Times in-depth article, “The Resistance to a New Trump Administration Has Already Started.” The piece featured a wide network of Democratic officials, progressive activists and more who are engaged in “extraordinary steps to prepare for a potential second Trump presidency.”  Examples include Democratic Governor Washington State Jay Inslee’s efforts to make the state a safe haven for women seeking reproductive freedom to an organization hiring a new auditor in case a second term Trump directs the Internal Revenue Service to target them. On one hand, I truly applaud these officials and organizations for grasping that Donald Trump back in the White House poses a unique threat to our freedoms and democratic Republic. Far too many don’t understand this threat.

But on the other hand, the only certain way to prevent Trump from using the government to wage a campaign of retribution, ending civil service protections so that only Trump loyalists will be in key positions in the federal government--as well as ushering in a far right wing agenda being peddled by his allies--is to defeat him this November. Again, we must make our focus keeping the barbarians outside the gate, not figuring out how to lessen the damage once they are on the inside. Trump is telling all who will listen his dark goals for a second term—from mass deportations to building in essence concentration camps for migrants to expanding executive power. There’s also Trump’s deeply concerning vow to “liberate” America from those not loyal to him. We first heard this during his 2023 speech at the conservative gathering CPAC where he promised his supporters to be their “retribution.” He then alarmingly  vowed that if elected to target Democrats, “the fake news media,” Republicans in name only, the globalists and others who oppose him, bellowing, “we will liberate America from these villains and scoundrels once and for all.”

He has repeated this pledge to “liberate” our nation from those who oppose him, including at a rally last month in Wisconsin.  When have you ever heard an American political figure speak about “liberating” America from those who politically oppose him or her?! You can’t find it because we never had an aspiring fascist—who has pledged to be a dictator on “day one”— lead one of the two main political parties. To be blunt, the forms of resistance utilized to stymie some of Trump’s agenda in the first term are unlikely to work against this bitter, angry convicted felon who is hellbent on retribution and purging America from those who won’t bend a knee to him.

[...]

From a legislative point of view, If Trump were able to win and his MAGA GOP were able to also take control of the House and Senate, we can expect him deliver for them on a laundry list of right-wing policy dreams from national abortion and birth control bans to further weakening civil rights protections for LGBTQ and Black Americans and worse. This won’t be like Trump’s first term when some Republicans stood up to him to block his radical agenda—with the most famous example being the late Senator John McCain preventing Trump from repealing the Affordable Care Act with his vote.  The Republicans who have dared to stand up to Trump are almost all out of Congress or now capitulated to his undemocratic goals. Of the ten House Republicans who voted in  January 2021 to impeach Trump for inciting the Jan. 6 insurrection, only two remain in the House. Senator Mitt Romney--a vocal critics of Trump--will be leaving office  this January. Even GOP Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell who slammed Trump on the Senate floor after the Jan. 6 attack with the words, “There is no question that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of that day,” last week met with Trump and dubbed  it “entirely positive.”

[...] If Trump wins, there are few things that can rein him in. That is why diverting efforts at this point to second term resistance strategies is dangerous given the threat Trump poses. Rather, the top and only priority must be utilizing all resources to defeat him. Nothing else matters.

Dean Obeidallah dropping truth nuggets in his latest Dean's Report post on why defeating fascist felon Donald Trump is imperative to save our nation.

See Also:

CNN: Opinion: Don’t focus on bracing for a Trump win

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Unfit :: billboard project

* * * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

September 3, 2024

Heather Cox Richardson

Sep 04, 2024

Last night the Boston Globe published a leaked email from a top volunteer with the Trump campaign, former Massachusetts Republican Party vice chair Tom Mountain, telling volunteers that the Trump campaign “no longer thinks New Hampshire is winnable” and is “pulling back” from that important swing state. He urged volunteers to turn their attention instead to Pennsylvania. After the story dropped, the Trump campaign cut ties with Mountain. 

Stephen Collinson of CNN and Isaac Arnsdorf, Josh Dawsey, and Marianne LeVine of the Washington Post reported today that Trump’s team has given up on trying to get Trump to talk about the economy and other issues voters care about. The former president has decided to spend the rest of the campaign attacking Vice President Harris to destroy her popularity and drive voters away from her, rather than trying to attract them to himself. The Washington Post reporters noted that likely voters view Trump unfavorably and his team has concluded that while he can’t improve his own standing, he can damage hers. 

Collinson dubbed Trump’s plans a “feral political offensive.”

It is not clear that this will work. As Collinson notes, Harris has refused to get dragged into the gutter with Trump, and Sarah Longwell of The Bulwark, who studies focus groups, notes that voters appear to want to put the nastiness of the past several years behind them. Still, the media-tracking company AdImpact reported that between August 23 and August 29, 57% of the total television spending for political ads was on Republican attacks on Harris.

Trump also continues to demand that Republicans support his attempt to suppress voting. Having failed to pass any of the necessary appropriations bills before going on August recess, Congress will be in a rush when it comes back into session next week. It needs to fund the government before the end of the fiscal year on September 30 in order to prevent a partial shutdown. Last Thursday, Trump told right-wing podcast host Monica Crowley that he would “shut down the government in a heartbeat” unless the government funding package includes the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act—which would give credence to the idea that noncitizens are voting in national elections despite the fact it is already illegal—and a bill restricting legal immigration.

Zeeshan Aleem of MSNBC today took public notice of Trump’s “deteriorating ability to clearly communicate.” His speeches “seem to be growing more discursive and difficult to comprehend by the day,” Aleem wrote. “Those speeches are making it hard, if not impossible, for people listening to them to understand what he wants to do with his power in office, and they’re reportedly turning off voters.” A reporter for The Guardian pointed out that attendees at Trump’s rallies are leaving as he rambles for nearly two hours, and complaining that he is “babbling.”

For his part, Trump says his wandering speech is deliberate. He calls it “the weave.” I’ll talk about, like, nine different things, and they all come back brilliantly together, and it’s like, and friends of mine that are, like, English professors, they say, ‘It's the most brilliant thing I've ever seen.’”

Aleem notes that this less-focused, less-capable Trump would be exceptionally dangerous in office a second time. And yet, he was dangerous enough the first time. Today Adam Klasfeld and Ryan Goodman of Just Security released a study showing at least twelve times that Trump used the power of the presidency to retaliate against his political enemies. They note that there is no evidence that President Joe Biden or anyone else at the Biden White House ever took similar actions.  

John McCain’s son Jimmy today announced that he has switched his voter registration from Republican to Democrat and will work to elect Vice President Harris and Minnesota governor Tim Walz in 2024. The younger McCain enlisted in the Marine Corps at 17 and is now an intelligence officer in the 158th Infantry Regiment of the Arizona Army National Guard. He said he is speaking out because Trump’s conduct at Arlington National Cemetery was a “violation.” 

Last Friday, just before the long weekend, Trump announced that he would vote against a Florida ballot measure that would essentially enshrine in the Florida state constitution the abortion rights formerly protected by the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. When Trump had bowed to popular support for abortion rights and expressed uneasiness at the state’s current six-week ban—a cutoff reached before most women know they’re pregnant—antiabortion activists launched fierce attacks on him. So, on Friday, Trump switched his position and announced he would vote against restoring access to abortion in Florida. 

That announcement has given wings to the Democrats’ messaging about Republicans’ determination to end abortion rights. It did not help the Republicans that more videos have been unearthed in which Republican vice presidential nominee J.D. Vance said that “a childless elite” is ruling the country. He went on to excoriate this elite for what he claimed was their pride that they didn’t have children and that they had abortions, and said “they look down on people who invest their time and their future in their children. And that is a dangerous place to live as a country.” Even a right-wing Newsmax interviewer suggested that he was “painting this group with perhaps a broad brush?”

On October 1, in Louisiana, a law will go into effect that reclassified the drug misoprostol as a controlled dangerous substance. Misoprostol can be used for abortion. It is also used for routine reproductive care and during medical emergencies to treat postpartum hemorrhage. It is on the World Health Organization’s list of essential medications, a list containing those medications that are the most effective and safe to meet a health care system’s most important needs. After antiabortion activists targeted the drug, Louisiana governor Jeff Landry signed a law reclassifying it as a controlled dangerous substance. The reclassification means that the drug will no longer be easily available on obstetric hemorrhage carts. 

“Take it off the carts?” one doctor said to Lorena O’Neil of the Louisiana Illuminator. “That’s death. That’s a matter of life or death.”

The Harris campaign said: “Let’s be clear: Donald Trump is the reason Louisiana women who are suffering from miscarriages or bleeding out after birth can no longer receive the critical care they would have received before Trump overturned Roe. Because of Trump, doctors are scrambling to find solutions to save their patients and are left at the whims of politicians who think they know better. Trump is proud of what he’s done. He brags about it. And if he wins, he will threaten to bring the crisis he created for Louisiana women to all 50 states.”

Vice President Harris’s campaign started its “Fighting for Reproductive Freedom” bus tour today in Palm Beach, Florida, where it drove past the Trump Organization’s Mar-a-Lago club. The bus will make at least 50 stops across the country. 

Pollster Tom Bonier today continued his examination of new registrants to vote. This time his focus was North Carolina. The pattern he has found across the country continues: “surges in registration are being driven by women.” In North Carolina, he writes, the number of registrants was almost 50% higher during the week of July 21 than in the same week in 2020, and the gender gap was +12 women, compared to +6 women in 2020. The new registrants were +6 Democratic, and 43% were younger than 30. 

The Harris-Walz campaign today joined the Democratic National Committee in announcing a transfer of nearly $25 million to support Democratic candidates in down-ballot state and federal races. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee will get $10 million each in hopes of supporting a Democratic majority in each chamber of Congress in the new administration. 

The Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee, the organization devoted to winning state legislatures, will receive $2.5 million. The Democratic Governors Association and the Democratic Attorneys General Association will get $1 million each. 

Finally, today, a federal judge issued a preliminary injunction to stop the Trump campaign from playing the song he likes to dance to at his rallies: “Hold On, I’m Coming.” The estate of Isaac Hayes Jr., the artist who co-wrote the song, filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against Trump, his campaign, and a number of his allies, noting that they have never obtained a public performance license for the song although they have used it at least 133 times.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[dertaglichedan]

More than 200 Bush, McCain, Romney alums endorse Harris for president, criticize Trump

WASHINGTON — More than 200 Republicans who previously worked for either former President George W. Bush, the late Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., or Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah, endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris for president in an open letter Monday obtained exclusively by USA TODAY.

The letter from alums of the three Republican presidential nominees prior to former President Donald Trump comes on the heels of a Democratic National Convention last week in Chicago that showcased Republican detractors of the GOP nominee. At least five former aides to former President George H.W. Bush also signed the letter, which has 238 signatures in all.

A similar group of about 150 anti-Trump former staffers of Bush, McCain and Romney pledged support for President Joe Biden in the 2020 election.

"We reunite today, joined by new George H.W. Bush alumni, to reinforce our 2020 statements and, for the first time, jointly declare that we’re voting for Vice President Kamala Harris and Gov. Tim Walz this November," the letter reads. "Of course, we have plenty of honest, ideological disagreements with Vice President Harris and Gov. Walz. That’s to be expected. The alternative, however, is simply untenable."

***Absolutely disgusted with the GOP

[mariacallous]

WASHINGTON (JTA) — The Biden administration is aiming to counter antisemitic discrimination in federally-funded transit systems, housing, food programs and other areas — one of the most major actions the White House has taken since it unveiled a far-reaching strategy to combat antisemitism in May.

On Thursday, the administration announced that it is instructing eight cabinet departments to extend civil rights protections to victims of antisemitism and other forms of religious bigotry. The decision marks a broad expansion of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.

In addition, the administration is launching a listening tour of schools and colleges this fall to hear from Jewish students about hostility on campus, which Jewish groups say often comes from the anti-Israel left. Last week, an LGBTQ student group at Rice University cut ties with Hillel over its support for Israel, and in a separate incident, the Hillel at the University of Pennsylvania was vandalized.

Thursday’s launch of the listening tour in San Francisco will include a meeting between the deputy secretary of education and representatives of the city’s Hillel chapter. 

“The Biden-Harris Administration will continue to lead a robust, whole-of-society effort to combat antisemitism and discrimination in all its insidious forms,” a White House official said in an e-mailed statement. The four-page release was the most comprehensive accounting to date of how the antisemitism strategy has been implemented since May. Biden set a deadline of May 2024 for the strategy to be implemented across the executive branch.

The announcement includes a comprehensive list of initiatives already taken under the antisemitism strategy. It also comes the same day as President Joe Biden is set to deliver a speech in Phoenix at the McCain Institute, named for the late Republican senator, that will warn of threats of democracy from the far-right and former President Donald Trump.

Under the 1964 act’s Title VI, which the White House release cites, any program or activity receiving federal funding cannot discriminate on the basis of race, color, or national origin. The White House statement said that staff at the Departments of Agriculture, Health and Human Services, Homeland Security, Housing and Urban Development, Interior, Labor, Treasury, and Transportation will be told the landmark 1964 Civil Rights Act bans discrimination based on antisemitism, Islamophobia and other forms of religious bias.

The initiative is a substantial expansion of initiatives by the Obama and Trump administrations to extend the Civil Rights Act’s protections to Jews through the Education Department. An executive order signed by Trump led to a series of federal complaints alleging that Jewish and Zionist students faced hostile campus environments.

Staff will be trained “to respond to this kind of discrimination, engage with entities that are prohibited from discriminating in these ways to explain their legal responsibilities, and inform communities of their rights to be free from such discrimination and how to file complaints,” said the release. Fact sheets on the topic will be available in Yiddish, Hebrew, Arabic, Punjabi, and other languages.

Examples of how the expansion would work, the release said, include “shielding people from harassment or discrimination on transit systems funded by the Department of Transportation; in housing funded by the Department of Housing and Urban Development; or in U.S. Department of Agriculture-funded food programs.”

In recent years, Jewish watchdog groups have recorded a spike in antisemitic attacks in public places, targeting people who wear outwardly Jewish symbols or clothing. Muslim and Jewish groups have also long advocated — with some success —  for making kosher and halal food available through relief programs.

Jewish groups have, for decades, sought the act’s protections, but have been frustrated by the difficulty of resolving constitutional guardrails around the separation of church and state. The Obama and Trump Education Department directives worked around that issue by defining Jews not simply as a faith but as a group defined in part through ancestry, and also as a group perceived by bigots as being a race — categories that fall under Title VI’s purview. 

As part of the launch of the listening tour of Jewish students, Deputy Secretary of Education Cindy Marten will meet with Jewish students, teachers and community leaders at San Francisco’s Contemporary Jewish Museum, followed by a closed session with Hillel-affiliated students from the Bay Area about campus antisemitism.

The emphasis on allegations of campus antisemitism may address concerns by some Jewish organizations that the Biden administration was not as focused on combating antisemitism from the left as it was on antisemitism from the right, and that it is not addressing antisemitism in the context of anti-Israel activism.

In addition to the expansion of Title VI and the listening tour, the White House statement mentioned a list of actions the administration has taken as part of the strategy on antisemitism. Those include delivering information and training to Jewish and other communities on securing their buildings and their computer systems in the face of threats, and bringing together law enforcement agencies and religious communities targeted by violence. Federal officials are also training National Park Service staff on stopping and preventing antisemitic harassment.

The White House is providing information to religious communities on their rights to build houses of worship, an issue that continues to dog Muslim and Orthodox Jewish communities thwarted by local authorities. Alongside those measures, the administration is informing members of religious minorities of their rights to religious accommodation in the workplace and is educating medical students, professionals and chaplains on religious discrimination in health care settings. In addition, an exhibit on how the United States reacted to the Holocaust is touring libraries across the country.

In November, a planned Agriculture Department summit of religious leaders in Omaha will “assess the state of antisemitism, highlight effective strategies to counter antisemitism, and build solidarity across faiths.”

As part of the roll-out, the State Department Envoy to Combat Antisemitism, Deborah Lipstadt, published a report on her efforts over the last year to identify and confront antisemitism overseas. In her report, she praised state actors for “embracing and applying the non-legally binding International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA) working definition as our baseline for how we discuss antisemitism.”

Biden’s strategy in May named IHRA and other definitions as models for identifying antisemitism, but its use has stirred controversy because its emphasis is on antisemitism as manifest through anti-Israel activity. Critics say its definitions are too broad and could squelch legitimate speech.

[divinum-pacis]

Mennonite participants in the “All God’s Children March for a Ceasefire" march cross the Potomac River, Sunday, July 28, 2024, entering Washington, D.C., from Virginia. (RNS photo/Aleja Hertzler-McCain)

[uboat53]

You know, I've called out quite a few conservative figures for hobnobbing at events with white supremacists, so I think it's fair that I call out Democrats for doing the same. Just because someone "supports Israel" doesn't mean they're not a raging antisemite.

Any respectable person should insist that John Hagee be kept as far away as possible from anything they support. This wasn't a hard call for John McCain in 2008, it shouldn't be a hard call for anyone else now.

[yourreddancer]

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

September 3, 2024 (Tuesday)

Last night the Boston Globe published a leaked email from a top volunteer with the Trump campaign, former Massachusetts Republican Party vice chair Tom Mountain, telling volunteers that the Trump campaign “no longer thinks New Hampshire is winnable” and is “pulling back” from that important swing state. He urged volunteers to turn their attention instead to Pennsylvania. After the story dropped, the Trump campaign cut ties with Mountain.

Stephen Collinson of CNN and Isaac Arnsdorf, Josh Dawsey, and Marianne LeVine of the Washington Post reported today that Trump’s team has given up on trying to get Trump to talk about the economy and other issues voters care about. The former president has decided to spend the rest of the campaign attacking Vice President Harris to destroy her popularity and drive voters away from her, rather than trying to attract them to himself. The Washington Post reporters noted that likely voters view Trump unfavorably and his team has concluded that while he can’t improve his own standing, he can damage hers.

Collinson dubbed Trump’s plans a “feral political offensive.”

It is not clear that this will work. As Collinson notes, Harris has refused to get dragged into the gutter with Trump, and Sarah Longwell of The Bulwark, who studies focus groups, notes that voters appear to want to put the nastiness of the past several years behind them. Still, the media-tracking company AdImpact reported that between August 23 and August 29, 57% of the total television spending for political ads was on Republican attacks on Harris.

Trump also continues to demand that Republicans support his attempt to suppress voting. Having failed to pass any of the necessary appropriations bills before going on August recess, Congress will be in a rush when it comes back into session next week. It needs to fund the government before the end of the fiscal year on September 30 in order to prevent a partial shutdown. Last Thursday, Trump told right-wing podcast host Monica Crowley that he would “shut down the government in a heartbeat” unless the government funding package includes the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act—which would give credence to the idea that noncitizens are voting in national elections despite the fact it is already illegal—and a bill restricting legal immigration.

Zeeshan Aleem of MSNBC today took public notice of Trump’s “deteriorating ability to clearly communicate.” His speeches “seem to be growing more discursive and difficult to comprehend by the day,” Aleem wrote. “Those speeches are making it hard, if not impossible, for people listening to them to understand what he wants to do with his power in office, and they’re reportedly turning off voters.” A reporter for The Guardian pointed out that attendees at Trump’s rallies are leaving as he rambles for nearly two hours, and complaining that he is “babbling.”

For his part, Trump says his wandering speech is deliberate. He calls it “the weave.” I’ll talk about, like, nine different things, and they all come back brilliantly together, and it’s like, and friends of mine that are, like, English professors, they say, ‘It's the most brilliant thing I've ever seen.’”

Aleem notes that this less-focused, less-capable Trump would be exceptionally dangerous in office a second time. And yet, he was dangerous enough the first time. Today Adam Klasfeld and Ryan Goodman of Just Security released a study showing at least twelve times that Trump used the power of the presidency to retaliate against his political enemies. They note that there is no evidence that President Joe Biden or anyone else at the Biden White House ever took similar actions.

John McCain’s son Jimmy today announced that he has switched his voter registration from Republican to Democrat and will work to elect Vice President Harris and Minnesota governor Tim Walz in 2024. The younger McCain enlisted in the Marine Corps at 17 and is now an intelligence officer in the 158th Infantry Regiment of the Arizona Army National Guard. He said he is speaking out because Trump’s conduct at Arlington National Cemetery was a “violation.”

Last Friday, just before the long weekend, Trump announced that he would vote against a Florida ballot measure that would essentially enshrine in the Florida state constitution the abortion rights formerly protected by the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. When Trump had bowed to popular support for abortion rights and expressed uneasiness at the state’s current six-week ban—a cutoff reached before most women know they’re pregnant—antiabortion activists launched fierce attacks on him. So, on Friday, Trump switched his position and announced he would vote against restoring access to abortion in Florida.

(HOW CAN HE VOTE? HE'S A CONVICTED FELON!!!!!!)

That announcement has given wings to the Democrats’ messaging about Republicans’ determination to end abortion rights. It did not help the Republicans that more videos have been unearthed in which Republican vice presidential nominee J.D. Vance said that “a childless elite” is ruling the country. He went on to excoriate this elite for what he claimed was their pride that they didn’t have children and that they had abortions, and said “they look down on people who invest their time and their future in their children. And that is a dangerous place to live as a country.” Even a right-wing Newsmax interviewer suggested that he was “painting this group with perhaps a broad brush?”

On October 1, in Louisiana, a law will go into effect that reclassified the drug misoprostol as a controlled dangerous substance. Misoprostol can be used for abortion. It is also used for routine reproductive care and during medical emergencies to treat postpartum hemorrhage. It is on the World Health Organization’s list of essential medications, a list containing those medications that are the most effective and safe to meet a health care system’s most important needs. After antiabortion activists targeted the drug, Louisiana governor Jeff Landry signed a law reclassifying it as a controlled dangerous substance. The reclassification means that the drug will no longer be easily available on obstetric hemorrhage carts.

“Take it off the carts?” one doctor said to Lorena O’Neil of the Louisiana Illuminator. “That’s death. That’s a matter of life or death.”

(THEN WHY DOESN'T THE AMA SUE LANDRY AND ALL THE LEGISLATORS WHO VOTED TO BAN IT FOR PRACTICING MEDICINE WITHOUT A LICENSE???)

The Harris campaign said: “Let’s be clear: Donald Trump is the reason Louisiana women who are suffering from miscarriages or bleeding out after birth can no longer receive the critical care they would have received before Trump overturned Roe. Because of Trump, doctors are scrambling to find solutions to save their patients and are left at the whims of politicians who think they know better. Trump is proud of what he’s done. He brags about it. And if he wins, he will threaten to bring the crisis he created for Louisiana women to all 50 states.”

Vice President Harris’s campaign started its “Fighting for Reproductive Freedom” bus tour today in Palm Beach, Florida, where it drove past the Trump Organization’s Mar-a-Lago club. The bus will make at least 50 stops across the country.

Pollster Tom Bonier today continued his examination of new registrants to vote. This time his focus was North Carolina. The pattern he has found across the country continues: “surges in registration are being driven by women.” In North Carolina, he writes, the number of registrants was almost 50% higher during the week of July 21 than in the same week in 2020, and the gender gap was +12 women, compared to +6 women in 2020. The new registrants were +6 Democratic, and 43% were younger than 30.

The Harris-Walz campaign today joined the Democratic National Committee in announcing a transfer of nearly $25 million to support Democratic candidates in down-ballot state and federal races. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee will get $10 million each in hopes of supporting a Democratic majority in each chamber of Congress in the new administration.

The Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee, the organization devoted to winning state legislatures, will receive $2.5 million. The Democratic Governors Association and the Democratic Attorneys General Association will get $1 million each.

Finally, today, a federal judge issued a preliminary injunction to stop the Trump campaign from playing the song he likes to dance to at his rallies: “Hold On, I’m Coming.” The estate of Isaac Hayes Jr., the artist who co-wrote the song, filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against Trump, his campaign, and a number of his allies, noting that they have never obtained a public performance license for the song although they have used it at least 133 times.

[singeratlarge]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Richard Attenborough, Ingrid Bergman, my cousin-in-law Janice Brenneman, Kyle Cook (Matchbox 20), Chris Copping (Procol Harum), Reuben Councill, Charles Finney, Elizabeth Fraser (Cocteau Twins), Diamanda Galás, Elliott Gould, Carla Gugino, Dick Halligan, Fred Holland, Michael Jackson, Nathan Ernie Lashlee, David Lim, John Locke, Tony MacAlpine, Bennie Maupin, John McCain, Sterling Morrison, Me'Shell Ndegéocello, Oasis 1994 DEFINITELY MAYBE album, Mao Oz, Wilhelm Hieronymus Pachelbel, Charlie Parker, Liam Payne (One Direction), Pebbles, Iggy Pop’s 1977 LUST FOR LIFE album, Cliff Richard’s 1958 “Move It!” single, Vivien Thomas, Consuelo Velázquez, Vishal, Dinah Washington, and my friend and early career mentor, composer-keyboardist-trombonist-vocalist Bob Hogins. He made his mark in the 1970s San Francisco music scene, most visibly with Harvey Mandel, Buddy Miles, and Santana. I met Bob after he’d turned his life over to God and devoted himself to classical and contemporary Christian music projects. He compelled me to up my game in musical discipline and expand myself as a bassist and singer.

From 1981-87 I played with Bob almost weekly in an eclectic church worship group. We fanned out into recording, pop-rock musicals, and playing in gospel vocal groups that shared bills with Zoe, a Grateful Dead spin-off w/Donna Godchaux and David MacKay (Ark, Michael Nesmith). As I worked with Bob in various projects, he introduced me to Buddy Miles, Pat Craig (Tazmanian Devils), Frank Souza, Marcus Uzilevsky, and other talents who’d affect my career in varying degrees. I feel indebted to Bob as a talented, warm-hearted musician, and great teacher.

Regrettably I do not have at hand any recordings of work Bob and I did, but here’s one of my favorite tracks that Bob played some sizzling organ on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_tgfWBHdig ...Meanwhile, HB BH and thank you for your amazing contributions to all of us.

#bobhogins #roberthogins #trombone #keyboard #gospel #Christian #SanFrancisco #johnnyjblair #birthday #carlossantana #buddymiles

[pcwpolwrestling]

11/4/2008-Replay of Extreme Election Night 2008

PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008- November 4th from Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, Wauseon, OH HOST: Johnny Suave

The voice of PCW, Johnny Suave, stands in the ring with a life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain. The sell out crowd is on their feet.

Crowd: “JOHNNY SUAVE (clap clap clap-clap-clap)!”

Suave: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! JANUARY 3RD, 2008. DRAMA AT DES MOINES STARTED IN EARNEST THE ROAD THAT LEADS TO TONIGHT LIVE FROM HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON IN WAUSEON, OHIO. WELCOME TO PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT…2008!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”

Suave: “I AM JOHNNY SUAVE. THIS HOT PIECE OF CARDBOARD NEXT TO ME IS SHANIA TWAIN. WE HAVE A SELL-OUT CROWD HERE TONIGHT AND THEY ARE READY FOR SOME EXTREME POLITICAL WRESTLING!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”

Suave: “ONE MORE TIME, THIS IS OUR CARD FOR TONIGHT!”

Suave and the life size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain exit the ring. A video package comes on the big screen behind the ring and quickly runs through the matches.

–Mixed Tag Team Three-Way Dance: Bill O’Reilly and ? from Fox News vs. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and ? vs. CNN’s Lou Dobb’s and ?

–Minnesota Street Brawl: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)

–Carolina Cat Fight: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)

–New Hampshire Intergender Match: Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) vs. John Sununu (American Patriots)

–PCW Television Title Match: FUBAR © (Independent) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)

–PCW Tag Team Title Match: Jack and Bull Schett © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (McMann Corp)

–PCW Women’s Title Match: ‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree © w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (McMann Corp)

Tonight’s Main Event: -PCW Title Match: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) vs. ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)

——————–

VIDEO PACKAGE: O’Beck Bahama and PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes Announcer: “O’Beck Bahama arrived in PCW in early February to much fanfare and the full support of Barack Obama. Bahama won his first match on February 19th at Milwaukee Meltdown defeating Progressive Alliance stalwarts such as DLC and Triple R. He met Starz N. Stripes (American Patriots) and Halitosis (Independent) for the PCW title at Day of Judgment. Bahama acquitted himself well but in the end come up short against the more experienced Starz N. Stripes.”

REPLAY from March 4th BCEW Day of Judgment It comes down to the ‘Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes and the ‘New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama. Starz puts on a wrestling clinic, constantly staying one step ahead of the inexperienced Bahama. Armbar by Starz. Bahama reverses to a half nelson. Starz reverses that into a fireman’s carry takedown and then a chinlock. Bahama twists and escapes. Dropkick by Bahama. Chop by Starz. Irish whip by Starz reversed by Bahama followed with a suplex. Bahama misses a leg drop. Starz bounces up, lifts him up, and back suplexes Bahama. A second back suplex by Starz. Bahama wildly charges. Starz sidesteps. Bahama bounces off the ropes and Starz delivers a Death Valley Driver. Cover. 1…2…3…and we’ve got a new champion.

Announcer: “Starz and Bahama met for a second time April 1st at Night of Champions. This match never got off the ground thanks to some interference from Triple R…”

REPLAY from April 1st BCEW Night of Champions Both men shake hands as a sign of respect. The bell rings. Starz and Bahama lock up. And Triple R runs in and belts Bahama in the back. Dean, Pelosi, and Reid are swallowed by the scrum as the Left Wing Bloggers surge ahead and engage the Clinton Political Pitbulls. Triple R kicks away at Bahama. Triple R then turns and takes a couple shots at the BCEW champion.

Suave: “IT’S TOTAL PANDEOMONIUM HERE!”

Triple R wails away at Starz in the corner. Big Oil shows up out of nowhere.

Suave: “BIG OIL’S OUT HERE TO EVEN THE ODDS!”

The big guy rumbles into the ring. He looks at Triple R. He looks at Starz. He lifts Starz up and chokeslams him to the canvas.

Suave: “WHAT? BIG OIL JUST CHOKESLAMMED THE BCEW CHAMPION! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?”

Triple R nods and piledrives Bahama. Then both men throw Starz and Bahama out of the ring.

Suave: “WHY? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?”

Announcer: “Then two months later, Starz N. Stripes and O’Beck Bahama met again at PCW Loose Cannons 4. This time, no interference. Bahama pushed Starz to the limit but again just came up short…”

REPLAY from June 9th PCW Loose Cannons 4 Bahama hits another neckbreaker out of nowhere. The referee counts to two before the champion gets a shoulder up in time.

Suave: “WHAT A MATCH! THIS IS THE BEST BAHAMA HAS LOOKED YET!”

Bahama climbs to the top rope but Starz crotches him on the top turnbuckle. Bahama tied in the tree of woe. McCain throws Starz a chair. Baseball slide and Bahama is potatoed with the chair. Roll up. Obama again pulls the referee’s attention away. McCain slams his hands on the canvas in frustration. Starz releases the hold.

Suave: “Barack Obama again saves O’Beck Bahama from…WAIT A MINUTE! HERE COMES JOE LIEBERMAN!”

Lieberman and Obama continue their debate from earlier in the night. Bahama gets up and sees Obama arguing with Lieberman. He turns his back on Starz and leans across the ropes. Starz slaps on the American Stars Double Fuji Bar submission hold and drives Bahama to the canvas. The referee is right there. Obama can’t get past Lieberman. O’Beck taps out. Announcer: “On September 9th, Starz, Bahama, and Green World Order member Brock Cole Lee met up on PCW Extreme Political TV. But it was the McMann Corporation who stole the show.”

REPLAY from September 9th PCW Extreme Political TV The second the referee calls for the bell, Mr. McMann and his new corporation suddenly return.

Suave: “What the hell? They’re back?”

Quadruple R, Bradley Scott Wilson, Richard Emerson Brantley III, and Kathryn Randall Collins hit the ring and attack. A scrum develops with the four contestants for the PCW title. Now working together, O’Beck, Starz, Nic Koteen, and Brock Cole Lee fight back against McMann’s corporation. Huge brawl develops. The ref scrubs the match and the free-for-all continues.

Announcer: “One week later, they met up again.”

REPLAY from September 23rd PCW Extreme Political TV Libertarian Bob Barr walks out with Politically Incorrect’s Nic Koteen, Pith Lord Darth (Ralph) Nader, and ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee(Green World Order) and demands to know why neither Koteen or Lee were included in tonight’s match. Suave notes that both men were screwed out of their PCW title shot at Lock and Load 3. Nader pithily observes ‘this proves there’s no difference between the American Patriots and the Progressive Alliance!” Bahama turns away from Starz to see what the commotion is. Starz charges and crunches Bahama into the ropes and then flips him over his head. One…two…three.

Suave: “Again, the PCW champion is able to outsmart the younger, inexperienced O’Beck Bahama and…HOLY CRAP!”

Cut to Barack Obama lying on the floor and John McCain walking away with a Singapore cane in hand.

Announcer: “The next week, a final match is set for PCW Extreme Election Night 2008. So now, it comes down to this. The final shot at the PCW title for the ‘New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama. With Barack Obama in his corner, can he finally reach the top- the PCW title? Or will the experience of the ‘Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes and John McCain be the difference again? We’ll find out tonight.”

—————

Suave and the cardboard cut-out are now sitting at their broadcast table.

Suave: And tonight, PCW Owner Bubba Jackson will announce who will be the next CEO of PCW. Will it be ‘The Natural’ Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)? Or will it be ‘Straight Shootin” John McCain (American Patriots)? Let’s to go the back.”

BACKSTAGE PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with PCW Owner Bubba Jackson. Bubba is flanked by two Wauseon city police officers.

Bernstein: “Bubba, tonight you name the new PCW CEO. Are you leaning towards one person?”

Jackson: “Possibly. But I want to go through the interviews I did with all four as well as review everything that’s happened the past eleven months here in PCW before I make my final decision.”

Bernstein: “So, you’re essentially locking yourself in your office until you decide.”

Jackson: “Pretty much.”

Bernstein: Okay. One last question. It’s no secret that you and ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann have openly feuded over the years. The old BCEW Political Cable Show. The BCEW-EECW War. Now he comes back with the McMann Corporation. This is what he said last week.”

REPLAY- 10/28-PCW Extreme Political TV ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann slams open the door of his corporate suite and marches in. Gordon Guyko, Bradley Scott Wilson Esq, Rough Justice, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Big Oil, KRC, Quadruple R, and Kirk Walsteit follow. D.B. Ruff of Rough Justice tries to apologize; McMann waves him away. McMann confers with Guyko and Wilson.

McMann: “It’s not anyone’s fault. I should have anticipated something like this happening.”

Guyko: “Maybe we need to get you a full-time bodyguard.” McMann’s eyes light up.

McMann: “You’re right. And I know just the person who’ll fit the bill. But it’s going to take some…prodding, you know.” Guyko smiles and pulls out a wad of cash.

Guyko: “I know. Greed is good. Greed is really, really good.”

Bernstein: “Are you concerned?”

Jackson: “Sure, I am. The McMann Corporation has put at least five of our wrestlers out of commission in the past few weeks. Yes, I’m concerned. But I’ve been at this for almost four years now and I’ve learned that sometimes you have to take a step back in order to take two forward.”

Bernstein: “Thanks, Bubba.”

Bubba goes into his office and shuts the door. The two police officers station themselves in front of the door.

Suave: “We don’t know when Bubba will come out and make the formal announcement but-…hold on. Why are the women from The View walking up the aisle? And…that’s Charlene Ann Beckworth, our ring announcer. Okay. Let’s go to the ring.”

Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! OUR FIRST MATCH WILL BE A HANDICAP MATCH. THE SPECIAL REFEREE WILL BE BARBARA WALTERS! IN THIS CORNER, ELISABETH HASSELBECK! IN THE OTHER CORNER, WHOOPI GOLDBERG, JOY BEHAR, AND SHERRI SHEPHERD!”

Suave: “Hey! It’s three against one, just like the TV show.”

MATCH #1 The View Handicap Match-Special Referee Barbara Walters WHOOPI GOLDBERG, JOY BEHAR, SHERRI SHEPHERD (Progressive Alliance) vs. ELISABETH HASSELBECK (American Patriots) Suave: “All right then. This is our special added attraction match.”

The bell rings. Hasselbeck and Goldberg to begin.

Suave: “I also question how ‘fair’ Barbara Walters is going to be in refereeing this match.

Hasselbeck starts fast. She slams Goldberg down and lays the boots to her. Side headlock. Shepherd in to help Goldberg escape. Goldberg gets a leg trip and then an arm bar. Tag to Shepherd. Double ax smash and drop toehold. Hasselbeck whipped into the ropes. A shoulder block by Shepherd and then a cover for 2. A very quick 2 count. Hasselbeck momentarily glares at Walters and allows Shepherd to work her arm, tag to Goldberg and she continues works the arm. Hasselbeck reserves, Goldberg kicks her and then stun guns her off the ropes. Whip back into the corner and Hasselbeck gets mugged by both Behar and Shepherd. Spinning kick by Goldberg. She slams Hassebeck’s head to the mat repeatedly and then tags in Behar. Double team elbow drop to Hasselbeck and then Behar slaps a choke hold on her. Goldberg hits with kicks to Hasselbeck. Now Shepherd in and they triple team her. Hasselbeck sent to the corner. Shepherd goes for the splash. Hasselbeck moves. Behar eats a big boot. Hasselbeck throws her through the ropes to the floor. Goldberg and Hasselbeck trade shots. Hasselbeck off the ropes and charges. Shoulder block. Hasselbeck covers. 1…………2…… Shepherd finally pulls Hasselbeck off.

Suave: “OH, COME ON!”

Behar back in. She ties Hasselbeck up and then puts her in the STF. Walters asks Hasselbeck if she wants to quit. Hasselbeck screams no. Behar cinches it in even more. Walters asks her again. Same result. Behar releases the hold and Hasselbeck slumps to the canvas. Behar pulls her back up by the hair. Hasselbeck is woozy and wobbly.

Suave: “Just end it already.” Pancake slam. Behar covers. Goldberg covers. Shepherd covers. Quick 3 count by Walters. Match over.

WINNER: WHOOPI GOLDBERG, JOY BEHAR, SHERRI SHEPHERD Suave: “Well, considering it was three against one…actually…four against one if you count Barbara Walters…I thought Elisabeth held her-…HOLY CRAP! THEY’RE NOT DONE YET!”

Goldberg and Shepherd hold Hasselbeck up. Behar slaps her and starts jawing. Behar slaps her again. She puts Hasselbeck back in the STF.

Suave: “THAT’S ENOUGH! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Behar releases the hold. Goldberg and Shepherd drape her over the top rope and start choking her out.

Suave: “YOU’VE WON THE MATCH. LEAVE HER-”

A deafening cheer erupts.

Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN!”

The Alaskan Pitbull charges to the ring with her hockey stick. Immediately, Goldberg and Shepherd bail out of the ring leaving Behar behind.

Crowd: “SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) SARAH’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

*THWACK*

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! PALIN NAILS BEHAR WITH THE HOCKEY STICK!”

Behar’s stunned and stumbles right back into Palin’s wheelhouse.

*THWACK*

Palin connects a second time and sends Behar over the top rope, pinwheeling to the floor.

Suave: “SARAH PALIN CLEANS HOUSE!”

Barbara Walters helps Behar to the back. Palin attends to Hasselbeck.

BILL PROMO Dr. Bill: “FUBAR, when I took you in June of this year, I took in a broken man. A man who’d been an abject failure. I took you in and nourished you, gave you the benefit of my vast knowledge and wisdom. How do you repay me? By leaving me out of the MOST IMPORTANT MATCH OF YOUR LIFE! YOU’D BETTER LISTEN TO DR. BILL BECAUSE DR. BILL IS LISTENING TO YOU! AND I HEAR SOMEONE WHO’S UNGRATEFUL. SOMEONE WHO THINKS HE KNOWS THE QUICKEST WAY BETWEEN A AND B. LET ME TELL YOU FUBAR, THE QUICKEST WAY FROM A TO B IS NOT ALWAYS AT THE MOST FEVERISH PACE! I GOT YOU THE PCW TELEVISION TITLE! AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET. (takes deep breath) FUBAR, a wise man once said ‘the most you get is what you ask for,’ actually, I said that. You’ve asked for it, FUBAR. Life’s a marathon; not a sprint. You’ll see soon enough why I did the things I did for you. To protect you and your meager talent…………….and you know that, FUBAR. But as another wise man once said…actually, I’ll admit it- I said that one too, awareness without action is worthless. And failure is no accident.”

Suave: All right, Dr. Bill there venting because PCW Television Champion FUBAR is defending his title for the first time without him in his corner against ‘No Frill’s Chris Escondido.”

VID RECAP-ESCONDIDO vs. FUBAR FEUD: 9/30- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: After FUBAR defeats Michael Hunt, a swinging neckbreaker by Escondido lays out the TV champ. Again, Escondido runs down FUBAR as a ‘glorified jobber’ and ‘talent enhancement.’ Escondido demands a title shot but Dr. Bill says no. Dean and Escondido then assault Dr. Bill but then the Jobbers aka Talent Enhancement run out. Jimmy from So Cal, the Jim Rome Clone wannabe come to his aid.

10/14- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: FUBAR defeats Halitosis when Dr. Bill directly interferes and helps him win. Escondido tells FUBAR that he can’t beat him without Dr. Bill. Escondido: “You’re nothing without Dr. Bill.” Escondido leaves an anxious FUBAR looking at Dr. Bill.

10/21- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: FUBAR wrestling the Jim Rome Clone wannabe, Jimmy from So Cal. FUBAR in control of match. Dr. Bill, though, still whaps Jimmy in the head with his clipboard. Escondido comes out again and demands his title shot. Dr. Bill tells Escondido ‘there’s no way in hell he’s getting a title match.’

10/28- PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV: Dr. Bill interferes again in FUBAR’s match against Richard Headd. Escondido gets on the mic but FUBAR snaps and goes off on him. FUBAR accepts Escondido’s challenge and told Dr. Bill that he was going this one alone.” MATCH #2 PCW Television Title Match ‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO vs. FUBAR © (Independent) Suave: “This is all about respect for the Television Champion. FUBAR wants respect from Escondido. Escondido wants the PCW Television Title.”

The bell sounds.

Suave: “And here we go.”

FUBAR and Escondido meet in the middle of the ring and start trash talking. Escondido shoves FUBAR to start. FUBAR slaps on a headlock. Escondido powers out and whips FUBAR into the ropes. Escondido does a handspring into a hurracanrana. FUBAR right back up. Escondido sweeps the leg for a single leg takedown. Hammerlock by Escondido. FUBAR rolls out of it but Escondido whips him into the corner for a 10 punch. Dropkick by Escondido. Then he slams him shoulder first into the corner. Escondido bodyslams FUBAR. Leg drop.

Suave: “This is a wrestling clinic by Escondido. FUBAR looks totally outmatched out there.”

Escondido goes up, but misses the double knee drop. FUBAR hits a jumping back kick. He sends Escondido to the corner and then nails him with a spinning wheel kick. FUBAR goes up and hits a flying crossbody. He covers…1…2. Escondido pulls FUBAR into the corner, but misses the big splash. FUBAR counters with a moonsault. FUBAR with lefts and rights. Irish whip into the ropes…back body drop.

Suave: “FUBAR with momentum now. Chops to Escondido. FUBAR to the top rope…MISSILE DROPKICK! ESCONDIDO IS REELING NOW.”

FUBAR presses the attack. Kick to the midsection. Neckbreaker. Small package roll up. 1…2…NO! Escondido gets the shoulder up in time. FUBAR goes for the vertical suplex…gets it. Escondido is driven into the canvas hard.

Suave: “FUBAR to the top rope. He leaps…AND MISSES! ESCONDIDO ROLLED AWAY JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME! ANKLE LOCK! ESCONDIDO LOCKS IN THE ANKLE LOCK! FUBAR HAS NO WHERE TO GO. HE TRIES TO GET TO THE ROPES BUT ESCONDIDO HAS HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING. FUBAR DESPERATELY TRYING TO- HE TAPS! FUBAR TAPS OUT AND WE HAVE A NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION!”

WINNER AND NEW PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: ‘No Frills’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO

Suave: “ESCONDIDO WINS THE PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION BELT FOR THE SECOND TIME!”

Escondido has a mic and he’s going to say something.

Escondido: FUBAR! I have to admit, you put on one hell of a fight tonight.”

The sellout crowd at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon agrees.

Escondido: “I’m man enough to admit that I may have misjudged you. Even though you lost the Television belt tonight, and I know it’s a small consolation, but you’ve earned my respect. FUBAR, great match!”

Escondido extends a hand to FUBAR. FUBAR takes it and they shake.

Suave: “Well, it looks like both men got what they wanted tonight…”

The new champion ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido walks to the back *WHAP*

Suave: “…what the h- DR. BILL JUST KNOCKED FUBAR INTO A DIFFERENT TIME SIZE WITH THAT SHOT!”

Dr. Bill hits FUBAR over and over with his clipboard. Then he demands a microphone.

Dr. Bill: “FUBAR. What did I tell you? You were nothing before and after tonight you’ll be nothing again. Winners like me, don’t hang around losers like you-”

Suave: “ESCONDIDO’S BACK! HE GRABS DR. BILL…NECKBREAKER! NECKBREAKER! ANKLE LOCK! ANKLE LOCK!”

Escondido cinches in the ankle lock and Dr. Bill is in extreme pain. Dr. Bill quickly tries to tap out but Escondido doesn’t release the hold. Several referees run out and finally Escondido releases the ankle lock. Dr. Bill rolls around holding his ankle in major discomfort.

Suave: “While Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean up Crew come out to check on Dr. Bill, let’s go backstage with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.”

BACKSTAGE PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein is with PCW Women’s Champion Opal Winfree.

Bernstein: “Opal, any thoughts about your match tonight?”

Winfree: “Woodward, Kathryn Randall Collins is a formidable opponent. She beat me back in January for the title so I won’t underestimate her.”

Bernstein: “What about the McMann Corporation? Given the havoc they’ve wreaked over the past couple weeks, does their involvement concern you?”

Winfree: “No. I’ll have my flock, New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom, with me as always. And Barack Obama has my back; just like I have his. All I can do is bring hope to the ring and I will prevail.”

AMERICAN PATRIOTS LOCKER ROOM ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain comes up to John Sununu.

McCain: “John. Look, I’m sorry about the mix-up last week. We’ve been having trouble with Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin. But, I do offer my help-”

Sununu: “Thanks John, but no thanks. Your campaign for PCW CEO has been floundering and I’m in big trouble. I went ahead and took care of back up myself.”

Sununu walks out.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE LOCKER ROOM Jeanne Shaheen walks up to Barack Obama.

Shaheen: “Barack, I’m a little concerned about tonight’s match. Last week, Tina Fey helped me but I’m thinking the American Patriots are going to be looking for her this time.”

Obama: “Jeanne, leave it to me. I’ve got everything under control.”

MATCH #3 New Hampshire Intergender Match JEANNE SHAHEEN (Progressive Alliance) vs. JOHN SUNUNU (American Patriots) Suave: “Two weeks ago, Tina Fey snuck in and took out Sununu. What does Obama have in mind to help Shaheen win tonight?”

Shaheen goes right after Sununu. Rights to Sununu. Sununu pushes her down. Shaheen pops back up. A dropkick to Sununu. Sununu sends Shaheen out of the ring.

Suave: “That was a tough fall. Shaheen’s a little shaken up…HERE COMES ‘DEFENSE EXPERT’ HALLIE BURTON AND NEAL CONN…making foreign policy as paramount responsibility of government, seeing the need for the U.S. acting as the world’s sole superpower as indispensable to establishing and maintaining global order. I have to read that whenever I say Neal Conn by the way.”

Burton gets an Enziguri and beats down Shaheen a bit. Hangman’s DDT on the floor.

The music of Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” suddenly starts to play.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?”

The crowd explodes. A spotlight points out a plaid shirted man with a Singapore cane and a cup of mocha appears on the second floor of Hack’s.

Suave: “IT’S HIM! HE’S HERE! HE’S BACK!”

Sununu can’t believe it.

Suave: “HE’S BACK! IT’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN’, TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN’ ALPHA MALE AND ENVIROMENTAL EXTREME HARDCORE ICON- AL GORE!”

The crowd sings the chorus “Don’t stop, thinking about tomorrow.” Gore holds up his mocha, inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable container of course, and chugs it down. Then he spews it out of his mouth into the crowd and then crushes the paper container on his forehead in a manly fashion.

Suave: “HE’S BACK HERE IN PCW!”

The Environmental Extreme Hardcore Icon walks down the steps to the main floor. At the bottom of the steps, Gore pulls out another container of mocha, guzzles it down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead. Gore then wades through the main floor crowd to the bar area. He climbs up on the bar, pulls out yet another cup of mocha, guzzles that one down, spews it into the crowd, and then smashes the container on his forehead.

Suave: “Say what you will about Al Gore. But the man knows how to make an entrance.”

Burton and Conn watch Gore closely.

Suave: Even with Gore out there, Shaheen still outside- HERE COMES THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS!”

James Carville and Paul Begala aka the Clinton Political Pitbulls attack Burton and Conn from behind.

Suave: “CARVILLE AND BEGALA ARE ALL OVER HALLIE BURTON AND NEAL CONN! SUNUNU’S NOT WATCHING. GORE’S IN THE RING!”

Distracted, Sununu focuses on the mayhem outside and not on Gore. Sununu finally senses someone’s up. He slowly turns around and sees Gore. Sununu puts his hands up and backs into a corner.

Suave: “SUNUNU’S TRYING TO BEG OFF *THWACK* AND IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP!”

Sununu spins around and flops to the canvas.

Suave: “SHAHEEN BACK IN THE RING…COVERS…ONE…TWO…THREE!”

WINNER: JEANNE SHAHEEN

Shaheen, Gore, Carville, and Begala are joined by Hillary and Bill Clinton in the ring. Hillary holds Shaheen’s arm up in victory.

Suave: “That’s three for three for the Progressive Alliance so far tonight. We’re going backstage again with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.”

BACKSTAGE PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office.

Suave: “Inside that office, PCW Owner Bubba Jackson is in the process of deciding the next PCW CEO. Will it be Barack Obama from the Progressive Alliance? Or will the American Patriots’ John McCain take the job? We will found out soon enough.”

BACKSTAGE At the back entrance to Hack’s, a large limousine has pulled up. The door opens and out come the McMann Corporation. Each member wears a nice suit or suit outfit. Bernstein tries to catch Kathryn Randall Collins as she walks by.

Bernstein: “KRC? KRC! Can I have a word with-”

Corporate Spokesman Bradley Scott Wilson Esq. pushes Bernstein back as the group files into a private area.

Wilson: “No comment.”

The door slams shut behind Wilson.

Bernstein: “Back to you, Johnny.”

Suave: “The McMann Corporation looks all business tonight…literally.”

CNN’s Lou Dobbs and Campbell Brown walk down the hallway towards the ring.

Brown: “Lou, I don’t know if I’m really comfortable doing this. I’m not a wrestler.”

Dobbs: “Don’t worry about a thing, Campbell. The two clowns, O’Reilly and Olbermann, hate each others guts. My guess is that the partners that they chose probably hate each others guts, too.”

Suave: “Okay. We now know that Campbell Brown will be Lou Dobbs’ partner tonight. Hopefully…hold on…”

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow walk down another hallway.

Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly and Syndicated Columnist Ann Coulter are shown in another hallway.

Suave: “There you have it. That’s your mixed tag team three-way dance participants tonight. But before the match starts, we have a special, special treat for you. The official house band of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon. Playing their brand new song ‘Keith.’ Here are the Black Swamp Pirates!” The crowd stands and cheers as the Pirates come out and plug themselves in. The lead singer, Junior Jackson, strums his acoustic guitar and steps up to the mic.

Jackson: “This is our ode to Keith Olbermann. It’s called ‘Keith.’”

Jackson (sings): Keith, you hit it big at ESPN But then your tenure there came to an abrupt end I know it seems so silly They won’t let you back in the building Even when you went back, and worked for them again

“Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down So you traveled on from town to different town Fox Sports didn’t work out well MSNBC the first time was hell Cause Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down

“But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked So you became even more of an overbearing elitist jerk And now you just don’t care Compared to you Fox News is balanced and fair And you make good ol’ Ann Coulter seem almost moderate to us

All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus) “Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Jackson: All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile And Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe You said, I was the worst person in the world But you’re still the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd give them a standing ovation. Johnny Suave even gives them a standing ovation.Keith Olbermann steams out and points at the Black Swamp Pirates.

Olbermann: “Y-you…are all- the WORST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!”

Maddow joins him. Dobbs and Brown come out next followed by O’Reilly and Coulter. Immediately, O’Reilly and Coulter and Olbermann and Maddow start jabbering back and forth.

MATCH #4 MSNBC’S KEITH OLBERMANN and RACHEL MADDOW (Progressive Alliance) vs. BILL O’REILLY of Fox News and ANN COULTER (American Patriots) vs. CNN’S LOU DOBBS and CAMPBELL BROWN (Independent) Suave: “This is going to be fun!”

The bell sounds. Immediately, Olbermann races across the ring and goes after O’Reilly. Coulter and Maddow hook up in the middle. Dobbs and Brown just hang out in their corner. O’Reilly throws Olbermann over the top rope to the floor. Olbermann gets right back up and pulls O’Reilly’s legs out from under him. He pulls him out of the ring and they start going at it. Olbermann rams O’Reilly’s head into the railing. Clothesline. O’Reilly falls backward over the guardrail into the crowd. Olbermann climbs up the guardrail and lands a flying elbow on O’Reilly. Olbermann is handed a steel folding chair. *WHAP* Olbermann winds up again. *WHAP* O’Reilly kicks the chair into his face. Now O’Reilly with a chair. *WHAP* Olbermann spins like a slow moving top. Chair on the ground

Suave: “DDT ON THE CHAIR! OLBERMANN’S BUSTED WIDE OPEN.”

O’Reilly drags Olbermann up to the edge of the stage and heaves him over the edge, five feet below to the wooden floor.

Suave: “O’Reilly’s set to jump. OH, WOW! OLBERMANN GOT HIS FOOT UP AND O’REILLY GOT A BOOT TO THE BALLS! THAT’S GOTTA HURT!”

O’Reilly bent over at an angle. Olbermann grabs a dirty plate off a waitress tray and breaks it over O’Reilly’s head.

Suave: “O’REILLY’S BUSTED OPEN NOW! OLBERMANN’S GOT A FORK…HOLY CRAP!”

More blood spurts out from Olbermann jabbing the fork into O’Reilly’s forehead.

Suave: “O’Reilly pounds the floor in agony! NO! OLBERMANN’S GOING FOR A PILEDRIVER ON THE WOODEN FLOOR!”

Olbermann gets O’Reilly up. O’Reilly’s so tall though that Olbermann can’t keep his balance. Olbermann and O’Reilly both fall backwards and the MSNBC star catches his head on one of the chairs going down.

Suave: “BOTH MEN ARE DOWN AND NOT MOVING VERY MUCH!”

Dobbs and Brown lean over the ring ropes and watch the action.

Suave: “Okay, if Dobbs and Brown are still in the ring, what happened to Coulter and Maddow…what…we’ve got a portable camera following them. Where? Oh…the bathroom. Might have guessed.”

Maddow goes for the Irish whip. Coulter reverses and slingshots Maddow into the bathroom door. Maddow staggers back. Coulter atomic drops her. Coulter puts her hand under the soap dispenser.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SOAP IN THE EYES! SOAP IN THE EYES! MADDOW CAN’T SEE!”

Maddow tries to find the sink to wash her eyes out. Coulter takes her by the hair and heaves her at the bathroom door again. Trash can shot. Maddow’s bleeding now. Coulter takes a step forward and slips on the soap on the floor. Her legs fly out from under her and the back of her head hits hard on the floor.

Olbermann slams O’Reilly into the steps leading up to the second floor. O’Reilly had just set up two tables just below the edge of the second floor. O’Reilly kicks Olbermann in the chest and sends him flying. O’Reilly with an empty beer bottle. Swings…misses. Olbermann low blows O’Reilly and swats the beer bottle away. Olbermann jumps on O’Reilly’s back and deliberately tries to choke him out.

Maddow in control in the women’s room. She goes to the soap dispenser and covers her hand in soap. Then she sticks it in Coulter’s mouth. Coulter gags and desperately tries to remove Maddow’s hand from her mouth. Finally, she bites down hard on the hand and Maddow yelps. Coulter reaches the sink and tries to wash out the soap taste. Maddow grabs her arm and whips her into a stall. She charges to follow up. Coulter kicks the stall door shut on Maddow’s face. Maddow pulls herself up and tries again. Same result. This time, Maddow grabs the trash can and heaves it over the wall into the stall. Then she charges in and flails away at Coulter. Maddow grabs Coulter by the hair and slams her face into the wall. Then the other wall. She takes the porcelain cover off the commode and plasters it over Coulter’s head. Coulter’s eyes roll up into her head and she slides to the bathroom floor.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! I THINK SHE JUST KNOCKED HER OUT!”

Maddow stumbles out of the stall and falls on the soap spot on the floor. She crawls to the door and exits the bathroom.

Dobbs and Brown continue to hang out in the ring.

Dobbs: “See? What’d I tell you?”

Suave: “Maddow coming back towards the ring…oh, no. WHAT THE HELL IS O’REILLY AND OLBERMANN DOING ON THE SECOND FLOOR?”

O’Reilly and Olbermann, both extremely battered and exhausted, try desperately to get the upper hand. Left by O’Reilly. Right by Olbermann. Left by O’Reilly. Right by Olbermann. Right by Olbermann. O’Reilly backs up to the railing overlooking the first floor. Left by O’Reilly misses. Right by Olbermann. Kick by Olbermann. Right by Olbermann. Olbermann then backs up a few steps.

Suave: “Oh, no. This can’t end good.”

Olbermann runs towards O’Reilly. Clothesline. O’Reilly up and over the railing but he grabs Olbermann’s arm and pulls him with him. Both men fall twenty feet down through the two tables set up below.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Crowd: “HOLY S***!…HOLY S***!”

Suave: “I DON’T BELIEVE IT! OLBERMAN AND O’REILLY JUST FELL TWENTY-FIVE FOOT THROUGH TWO TABLES!”

Crowd: “THIS IS AWESOME! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)…THIS IS AWESOME! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)”

O’Reilly and Olbermann aren’t moving in the wreckage of the two tables. The referee immediately calls for Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean up Crew.

Maddow staggers out on the floor.

Crowd: “SHE’S HARDCORE!…SHE’S HARDCORE!”

Suave: “MADDOW’S BACK OUT…AND SHE’S A MESS.”

Maddow somehow makes it back to the ring and crawls back in.

Crowd: “SHE’S HARDCORE!…SHE’S HARDCORE!”

She stands back up…and falls right back down. Dobbs looks at Brown. Brown walks over. Roll up. 1…2…3.

WINNER: CNN’S LOU DOBBS AND CAMPBELL BROWN (Independent)

Suave: “THAT’S IT! LOU DOBBS AND CAMPBELL BROWN PLAY IT SMART AND LET OLBERMANN AND O’REILLY AND MADDOW AND COULTER DESTROY EACH OTHER!”

Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean up Crew attend to Olbermann and O’Reilly.

Suave: “It’s going to take a few minutes to clean this up. And I hope someone is checking on Ann Coulter in the bathroom.”

JACK AND BULL SCHETT PROMO The PCW Tag Team Champions have some stuff to get off their chest.

Bull: “Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit may have all the money in the world, corporate connections, wealth and privilege beyond my comprehension. But the Schetts have one thing that they don’t have…besides the belts that is.”

Jack: “That’s right. We have the ultimate insurance policy…the ultimate security blanket. Because if you try to take our PCW Tag Team belts, you’ll have to get past the Extreme Schnauzer- Hans Gruber. And if you think that’s going to be easy, then you don’t know Jack Schett.”

Bull: “That’s right. Hans Gruber is only the…GREATEST MOVIE VILLIAN OF ALL TIME! DIDN’T YOU SEE DIE HARD! ALAN RICKMAN WAS FREAKIN’ AWESOME! AND THAT’S NO BULL SCHETT! SCHELL!”

BACKSTAGE PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein knocks at the door of the McMann Corporation. The door opens. It’s Bradley Scott Wilson, Esq.

Wilson: “The McMann Corporation does not have any comment at all about tonight. We are going to make our statement in the ring.”

The door slams shut again.

Al Franken heads to the ring.

Norm Coleman walks towards the ring in another hallway.

Suave: “Norm Coleman got surprised a few weeks back on PCW Extreme Political TV. It was a wild ending to his match with Al Franken…”

REPLAY- Oct 7th PCW Extreme Political TV- Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots) The crowd chants ‘PCW.’ Rights to Coleman. Cross face shots. Body kick by Coleman and back to the wristlock. Coleman adjusts to a hammerlock and works the other arm. Franken rolled into a pinning position for 2. Again, Obama breaks the count. Franken to his feet into a shoulder block by Coleman. Suplex try by Coleman countered by Franken. Coleman thrown out of the ring. Franken to the apron. Flying elbow drop from the ring.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Arianna Huffington sets a table up and Obama puts Coleman on it. McCain runs around the ring. Arianna latches on to him and holds on for dear life. Franken to the top. Sarah Palin hits the ring again with her hockey stick and whacks Franken in the back. Franken falls and hits hard on the floor. Joe Biden now to the ring. Obama and McCain get into it. Biden climbs up to the top rope. Palin starts towards him but Arianna gets in between her and Biden. Biden leaps and puts Coleman through the table.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW!”

Biden rolls Coleman back into the ring. Then he rolls Franken back into the ring. Arianna and Palin rolls around on the ring canvas.

Suave: “CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!”

Franken crawls over and covers Coleman. 1…2…3.

Franken and Coleman reach the ring.

Suave: “If the last match was a war, I hate to see how this one turns out. Both men don’t like each other. Is Coleman’s vast political experience enough to hold off Franken? Can Franken pull off a huge win and add to what has already been a huge night for the Progressive Alliance. And will we see Sarah Palin again in this match? We will find out in just a…SOMEONE’S RUNNING TO THE RING. WHO IS THAT? THAT’S DEAN BARKLEY THE INDEPENDENT. AND HE CAUGHT BOTH FRANKEN AND COLEMAN COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE. THERE’S A REF IN THE RING…HE’S CALLING FOR THE BELL!”

MATCH #5 Minnesota Street Brawl AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance) vs. NORM COLEMAN (American Patriots) vs. DEAN BARKLEY (Independent) Suave: “IT’S NOW A THREE WAY MINNESOTA STREET BRAWL!”

Barkley starts the match with a back elbow smash to Franken. Then hard right hands to Coleman’s face. Coleman back into the corner. Barkley blatantly chokes him. Franken clobbers Barkley from behind. Coleman wisely ducks out to the outside to catch his breath. Franken throws Barkley out of the ring and then Coleman slams him into the ringpost. Coleman stomps and kicks Barkley. Barkley gouges him in the eyes. Franken, now out of the ring, throws Coleman into the ring steps and then clotheslines him over the steel barricade into the crowd.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”

They brawl in the crowd. Barkley comes up from behind and plants a steel folding chair over Franken’s head.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW!”

Coleman tries to go back towards the ring. He rams Barkley into the steel barricade, jumps the barricade, and then slingshots Barkley over the barricade into the ringpost. Coleman went up top and took too long. Franken grabs the ropes and crotches Coleman. He falls back in the ring. Franken hits a leg drop from the second ropes and then bites Coleman’s forehead.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

The fans again cheer. Coleman reverses a whip then hits a pumphandle slam. Barkley hits a low, low blow on Franken. Franken somehow gets back up and thumbs Barkley in the eye. Coleman rams Franken shoulder-first into the corner ring post. Coleman rolls up Barkley from behind and hooks the tights. 1…2…3.

DEAN BARKLEY ELIMINATED

Suave: “IT’S DOWN TO COLEMAN AGAINST FRANKEN!”

Coleman drags Franken out of the ring and slams him into the guardrail. Franken counters, blocks a suplex, and drapes Coleman across the guardrail. Franken’s spin kick from the ring apron misses. Coleman moves out of the way and Franken crashes right-knee-first into the rail. Quick chair shots in succession leave Franken dazed and wondering what hit him. Back suplex by Coleman.

Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! HERE COMES SARAH PALIN! SHE SWINGS THE HOCKEY STICK…MISSES FRANKEN AND HITS COLEMAN!”

Palin winks.

Suave: “THAT’S NOT SARAH PALIN! IT’S TINA FEY FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE AGAIN! HERE’S COMES THE REAL PALIN!”

Sarah Palin runs in and tackles Fey. They roll around on the floor.

Suave: “CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!”

Franken nails Coleman with a road sign. He next pulls out a cheese grater and rubs it across Coleman’s forehead.

Suave: “CHEESE GRATER! CHEESE GRATER! COLEMAN IS BADLY BUSTED OPEN!”

Franken pulls a ladder from underneath the ring and clocks Coleman with it. Franken grabs a garbage can and drop toe holds Coleman onto it. Cover. Two count. Coleman staggers back up and Franken knocks him right back out with a steel chair.

Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.”

Franken puts Coleman on top of the ladder and climbs up on the corner turnbuckle. Franken leaps off the turnbuckle and crushes Coleman on the metal ladder.

Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.”

Franken covers. 1…2…3.

WINNER: AL FRANKEN (Progressive Alliance)

Suave: “THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE SCORES ANOTHER VICTORY HERE IN AN EXTREME HARDCORE POLITICAL MATCH! WOW! It’s now 4 for the Progressive Alliance, 1 for the independents, and 0 for the American Patriots.”

BACKSTAGE PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. The door is shut and two Wauseon city police officers keep watch outside the door.

Suave: “The tension mounts as shortly, Bubba Jackson will come out and announce who the new PCW CEO will be. “

AMERICAN PATRIOTS LOCKER ROOM John McCain goes up to Elizabeth Dole, who’s warming up for her match against Kay Hagan shortly.

McCain: “Liddy, I just wanted you to know that if you need anything tonight, I will be there for you.”

Dole: “Thanks, John. But I have a plan for tonight and I’ve got everything under control.”

Suave: “Wow. It’s almost like some of the American Patriots are trying to distance themselves from John McCain.”

Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance) walks towards the ring.

Suave: “It’ll be Liddy Dole versus this woman- Kay Hagan in a Carolina Catfight. Let’s go back two weeks and see what transpired in their preview match.”

Replay Oct 14th PCW Extreme Political TV Hagan attempts a standing moonsault and leaps into Dole’s knees. Dole locks in a submission hold. Obama comes in and pulls Dole off Hagan. McCain and Obama chin to chin in the ring.

Suave: “This could finally be boiling over! McCain and Obama look like they’re about to- HEY! WHO’S THE LADY IN THE RING?”

An unknown lady climbs into the ring with a skillet. She shrieks ‘I don’t trust you. You’re an Arab!’ and starts to swing the skillet towards Obama. McCain grabs the skillet at the last second.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE WAS GOING TO SKULL OBAMA WITH THAT SKILLET!”

McCain: “No, ma’am. He’s a decent family man with whom I happen to have some disagreements.”

Behind them, Hagan sneaks in and rolls up Dole. 1…2…3.

MATCH #6 Carolina Catfight ELIZABETH DOLE (American Patriots) vs. KAY HAGAN (Progressive Alliance) At the bell, both women charge each other and meet in the middle. Single leg takedown by Dole. Hagan forces her way up and they roll around in the ring.

Suave: “CATFIGHT!…CATFIGHT!”

Snap mare takeover by Hagan. Rake of the eyes follows, then neckbreaker. Hagan goes for the quick cover. Dole kicks out at one. Hagan sweeps the leg and dumps Dole back on the canvas. Leg drop doesn’t find its mark as Dole rolls out of the way. Dole chops Hagan. Hagan chops right back. Irish whip by Dole, Hagan reverses and send Dole into the corner turnbuckle. Hagan charges. Dole moves and Hagan rams into the corner. Dole rolls her up. 1…2… Hagan rolls through. 1…2… Dole kicks out. Hagan sends Dole into the corner. Headlock. Dole powers out and whips Hagan off the ropes. Single leg takedown. Hagan bounces right back up and dropkicks Dole.

They lock up again. Hagan hip tosses Dole. Leg drop. Hagan sits on Dole and wrenches her neck back. Dole tries to escape. Hagan bounces her head off the canvas. Dole fights up again but Hagan throws her through the ropes and out. Hagan climbs the corner turnbuckle.

Suave: “TOP ROPE MISSILE DROPKICK! WOW! THAT NEARLY DECAPITATED DOLE.”

Hagan on the offensive. She whips Dole into the steel guardrail. Dole staggers up and then gets clotheslined over the guardrail.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW!”

Hagan pulls Dole back up and drapes her over the guardrail. Guillotine leg drop flips Dole back over the guardrail and lands on the floor.

Suave: “WHAT A MOVE BY HAGAN. DOLE’S IN REAL TROUBLE NOW!”

Hagan drags Dole to the ring and rolls her in. Hagan to the top rope.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! 180 SPLASH! Hagan for the cover! One. Two. Th- TWO PEOPLE IN ROBES HAVE HIT THE RING- WAIT A MINUTE, IT’S THE PIOUS PAIR, IT’S THE GOD SQUAD!”

Rev. James Dobson and Rev. Pat Robertson pull Hagan off Dole and drag her out of the ring. Rev. Robertson holds a Bible up high.

Rev. Robertson: “Behold the good book shall smite-ith down our enemies!”

*WHAP*

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE JUST CLOBBERED HAGAN WITH THE BIBLE! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT?”

Rev Dobson: “This is the price you pay when you consort with Godless Americans!”

Dobson takes the ribbon that’s used to bookmark the Bible and wraps it around Hagan’s throat.

Suave: “AW COME ON! YOU CAN’T BE CHOKING SOMEONE WITH THE BIBLE! THAT’S JUST WRONG!”

The God Squad roll Hagan back into the ring and then climb in themselves. Rev. Robertson drags Dole over and lays her on top of Hagan. 1…2…

Suave: “NO! HAGAN KICKS OUT!”

Rev. Robertson and Rev. Dobson can’t believe it. Again, they put Dole on top. 1…2…

Suave: “NO! SHE KICKS OUT AGAIN!”

Rev. Robertson jumps up and down angrily. Dole pulls herself up on the ring ropes. Rev. Robertson and Rev. Dobson stand Hagan up. Rev. Robertson again raises the Bible.

Suave: “Oh, not the Bible belt again.”

Robertson swings, Hagan steps aside, and he catches Dole flush in the face.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! HE HIT DOLE! HE HIT DOLE! HE HIT DOLE INSTEAD!”

Rev. Dobson looks in horror at Rev. Robertson.

Suave: “HAGAN FOR THE COVER. 1…2… NO! REV. DOBSON PULLS HER OFF LIDDY DOLE! WAIT! HERE COMES JOE BIDEN!”

Biden, who’s been pretty much invisible since his botched promo a few weeks back, runs in and horse collars both Dobson and Robertson.

Suave: “BIDEN DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES THE GOD SQUAD! HAGAN COVERS 1…2…3! SHE’S DONE IT!”

WINNER: KAY HAGAN (Progressive Alliance) Suave: “That’s win number four for the Progressive Alliance tonight! Kay Hagan gets a tough and hard earned victory over Elizabeth Dole here at PCW Extreme Election Night. Let’s head to the back again.

BACKSTAGE PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews Barack Obama of the Progressive Alliance.

Bernstein: “Barack, as you wait for PCW Owner Bubba Jackson to announce the new PCW CEO, how do you feel?”

Obama: “Peaceful. I think we are minutes away from changing Political Championship Wrestling.”

Bernstein: “If you’re chosen, what will this mean to you?”

Obama: “If I’m chosen, this victory won’t be for me. It’ll be for all of those quiet heroes that we have all across America who, they’re not famous, their names aren’t in the newspapers, but each and every day they work hard, they look after their families, they sacrifice for their children and their grandchildren. They aren’t seeking the limelight. All they try to do is just do the right thing.”

Bernstein: “Wow…you’re really good at this.”

Obama: “Years of practice, my friend…years of practice.”

Bernstein: “Back to you, Johnny.”

Suave: “Here comes the McMann Corporation. They are here in full force tonight.”

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann, CFO Gordon Guyko, Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Rough Justice (D.B. Ruff and Connor Jackson- 2 former police officers fired from their jobs because of their rough and often across the line views about law enforcement), Corporate Spokesman Bradley Scott Wilson Esq., Corporate Secretary Richard Emerson Brantley III, and Randy ‘Road Rage’ Richardson aka Quadruple R. lead Big Oil with Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit- to the ring.

Jack Schett, Bull Schett, Horst Schett, and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer follow.

Suave: “The Schetts have been the PCW Tag Team champions for over six months. Tonight, they may face their stiffest challenge yet in Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit, backed by the full corporate might of the McMann Corporation. Two weeks ago on PCW Extreme Political TV, the McMann Corporation flexed their muscles for real for the first time when Big Oil and Walstreit destroyed A-Bomb and H-Bomb to become the new number one contenders for the PCW Tag Team title…”

REPLAY from October 21st PCW Extreme Political TV Suave: “Here we go. This one should be a doozy. The winner gets a shot at the PCW Tag Team belts in two weeks.”

Suave also notes that it’s weird to see Daisy Cutter-Bomb in the opposite corner of her brothers A-Bomb, H-Bomb, and N-Bomb. The bell rings. A-Bomb and Big Oil lock up.

Suave: “Hold on! Quadruple R in the ring…*WHAP* HOLY CRAP! That was a sickening chairshot on A-Bomb. H-Bomb’s in the ring…Ruff and Justice are in the ring. Newt Tron Bomb is in the ring. IT’S CHAOS!”

Big Oil plants A-Bomb with an Oklahoma Driller.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! And now, Ruff has a taser…HE JUST TASERED H-BOMB! DAWN McGILL IS LYING ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE THE RING. SHE’S BEEN ASSAULTED BY DAISY CUTTER-BOMB! WALSTREIT GIVES H-BOMB THE STOCK MARKET PLUNGE! THIS IS CARNAGE!”

Big Oil drags A-Bomb up and Daisy climbs into the ring with a Singapore cane.

Suave: “WAIT A MINUTE! DAISY’S NOT GOING TO…NOT TO HER OWN BROTHER…*THWACK* CANE SHOT! CANE SHOT! A-BOMB IS BLEEDING PROFUSELY!”

Big Oil throws A-Bomb down and gets the easy cover. 1…2…3. MATCH #7 PCW Tag Team Title Match JACK SCHETT and BULL SCHETT © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. BIG OIL w/Texas Tex and KIRK WALSTREIT- the Man with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Walstreit w/the McMann Corporation (McMann Corporation) Suave: “We’re about ready to go!”

Walstreit kisses a photo of Kirk Herbstreit and then rubs a $1,000 bill for good luck. Big Oil hands Texas Tex his golden money belt. Tex puts the belt over his shoulder and guards the wheelbarrow that’s not so full of cash as it usually is- thanks to plummeting oil prices. The bell rings. Big Oil and Walstreit charge the Schetts. Outside the ring, Ruff, Justice, and Quadruple R take off around the ring.

Suave: “THEY’RE GOING AFTER HORST SCHETT!”

In the ring, it’s mayhem. Big Oil and Walstreit and Jack Schett and Bull Schett throw haymakers back and forth. Outside, steel chair shot to Horst Schett by Quadruple R.

*WHAP*

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! QUADRUPLE R WAFFLES HORST SCHETT A SECOND TIME WITH THE CHAIR!”

Horst falls to the floor. Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer, chases Ruff and Justice around the ring. They pass by Quadruple R.

*ZZZZAP*

Suave: “TASER! THEY JUST TASERED HANS GRUBER- THE EXTREME GERMAN SCHNAUZER!”

*ZZZZAP*

Suave: “TASER ON HORST SCHETT! HERE COMES THE GREEN WORLD ORDER!”

The GWO, Peta from PETA, Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and GreenPete, run in and attack Quadruple R.

Suave: “THE S*** HAS HIT THE FAN! THE GREEN WORLD ORDER DON’T TAKE VERY KINDLY TO SOMEONE TASERING A DOG!”

Quadruple R is swarmed under. Daisy Cutter-Bomb gets involved. She yanks Peta from PETA by the hair from the pile and Daisy Cutter Power-Bombs her.

*ZZZZAP*

Suave: “BROCK COLE LEE GETS TASERED. *ZZZZAP* GREENPETE GETS TASERED.”

Ruff advances on PeaceNick. PeaceNick chants peaceful mantras and non-violent slogans. *ZZZZAP* Doesn’t matter. In the ring, chokeslam by Big Oil on Jack Schett. Bull Schett powerbombs Kirk Walstreit. Big Oil and Bull then go at it.

Suave: “QUADRUPLE R’S IN THE RING. HE’S GOT A CHAIR *CLANG* HOLY CRAP! HE BENT THAT CHAIR ON BULL SCHETT’S SKULL!”

Bull down. Ruff throws Big Oil one of the Schett’s bricks. Jack is back up and stumbling around the ring.

Suave: “OH, NO! NO, NO, NO! *WHAP* HOLY CRAP!”

Big Oil breaks the brick over Jack Schett’s head. The brick explodes on impact and Jack’s out. Big Oil covers. 1…2…3.

Suave: “WE’VE GOT NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: BIG OIL and KIRK WALSTREIT (McMann Corporation)

Again, Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean up Crew are out to check on all three Schetts and their dog.

Mr. McMann flashes a thumb’s up to Big Oil and Walstreit on bringing the tag team belts to the McMann Corporation.

Suave: “BIG OIL AND KIRK WALSTREIT ARE THE NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! THE McMANN CORPORATION HAS REACHED ONE OF ITS OBJECTIVES TONIGHT. WE’RE GOING TO FIND OUT IN A FEW MINUTES IF THEY REACH THE OTHER!”

BACKSTAGE PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews John McCain.

Bernstein: “John, your thoughts?”

McCain: “This is it. Mere minutes away from taking Political Championship Wrestling in a new and exciting direction, my friends. We need your help. We need your help and I will prevail here tonight.”

Bernstein: “John, it’s been a long, tough road. Do you have any regrets?”

McCain: “Well, in any campaign there’s things you should have done and things you shouldn’t have done. I know it doesn’t look good for us right now. But I’m a fighter and I’m in this to the very end.”

Bernstein: “Do you think the overly aggressive attacks backfired?”

McCain: “Maybe. Perhaps laying out Obama in three consecutive house shows wasn’t the best thing to do. Or taking out O’Beck Bahama. Or hitting Obama with a Singapore cane. But this is a tough business. It’s not for the faint of heart.”

Bernstein: “I just can’t believe you didn’t know Cheech and Chong got back together.”

McCain: “Who knew? The last I heard, Chong hated Cheech’s guts. The next thing you’re going to tell me is that I may very well lose my own state.”

Bernstein: “Well…um, that’s a possibility.”

McCain: “S***.”

Bernstein: “Thanks, John.”

Suave: “We are back. In January, Opal Winfree and Kathryn Randall Collins had two epic battles- both resulting in title changes. On January 8th at Mayhem in Manchester (NH), KRC got some help from Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Political Pitbulls and defeated Winfree to become the PCW Women’s Champion. However, twelve days later at the Weapons of Mass Political Destruction pay per view, Winfree, with help from Barack Obama, regained the title. Since then, Winfree has consolidated her hold on the title while KRC went through some hard times. Collins hit a low at PCW Loose Cannons 4 when she lost to the PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl Tessa Martin and the number one contender slot for the women’s title. KRC joined McMann’s Corporation and began the road back. Collins regained the number one contender spot on PCW Extreme Political TV when she obliterated Martin with help from Daisy Cutter-Bomb- who turned on the PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl. Let’s go back a couple weeks.”

REPLAY from October 14th PCW Extreme Political TV KRC advances on Tessa. Tessa calls for her oversized pizza box. Daisy Cutter-Bomb climbs out and grabs the box. KRC gets closer. Tessa again calls for the box. Daisy climbs up on the apron, raises the box, and then blasts Tessa in the face with it.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE…SHE…I DON’T BELIEVE IT. DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST DOUBLECROSSED THE PCW EXTREME PIZZA DELIVERY GIRL!”

Daisy climbs in the ring and gives Tessa a Daisy Cutter Power-bomb. The PCW Arena crowd can’t believe it. Johnny Suave can’t believe it. KRC sticks her foot on Tessa’s chest and that’s all. Kathryn Randall Collins walks to the ring.

Suave: “The McMann Corporation is one for one. Can Collins make it two for two?”

‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree comes out next. She’s escorted by Barack Obama and Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom.

MATCH #8 PCW Women’s Title Match KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS aka KRC w/The McMann Corporation (McMann Corporation) vs. ‘Empress Queen of All Media’ OPAL WINFREE © w/Barack Obama and Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom) Suave: “We’ve had two title changes already tonight. Are we about to see a third?”

The McMann Corporation huddle together outside the ring. The bell rings and Collins and Winfree lock up. Collins tries to switches and gets behind Winfree. Takedown by Winfree. Modified surfboard by Winfree. Daisy Cutter-Bomb (McMann Corp) immediately runs in and pushes Winfree off. Winfree chops at Daisy. KRC climbs the rope and hits a DDT. KRC covers. 1…2. Easy kick out by Winfree. KRC goes on top again for a top rope Frankensteiner. Soccer Mom (Opal’s Flock), yells “WE MUST DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!” and goes to push KRC from behind. D.B. Ruff of the McMann Corporation runs over and pulls her off the ring apron sending her toppling down. KRC attempts a missile dropkick from the top rope and misses. Winfree executes two consecutive powerbombs. She climbs to the top rope for a splash and Quadruple R (McMann Corp) runs over and pastes her with a steel-folding chair. New Age Sensitive Guy (Opal’s Flock) tries to take the chair away from Quadruple R.

Suave: “NEW AGE SENSITIVE GUY DOESN’T SEE CONNOR JUSTICE (McMann Corp) BEHIND HIM… *ZZZZAP* TASER! TASER!”

Justice throws New Age Sensitive Guy to the ground. KRC picks Opal up by the hair and flings her face down onto the canvas. KRC pulls the PCW Women’s champ up and whips her into the corner.

Suave: “Big splash coming…NO! OPAL MOVED JUST IN TIME!”

KRC staggers backwards. Atomic drop by Opal. Body slam. Leg drop. Opal launches herself backwards into the ropes. Daisy jumps on the ring apron and throws Opal a chair.

*WHAP*

Suave: “VAN DAMINATOR! VAN DAMINATOR! KRC JUST KICKED THAT CHAIR INTO OPAL’S FACE! Opal’s in trouble!”

Barack Obama is on the ring apron and shouting encouragement to a woozy Winfree.

Suave: “DAISY CUTTER-BOMB IN THE RING! HOLY CRAP! DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB ON OPAL WINFREE! KRC FOR THE COVER. ONE…TWO…NO! HERE COMES THE CLINTON POLITICAL PITBULLS!”

James Carville and Paul Begala hit the ring and double-team clotheslines Daisy Cutter-Bomb. Big Oil climbs into the ring and grabs Begala from behind.

Suave: “Oh, oh. This isn’t good for Paul Begala.”

Grab throat. Lift. Chokeslam. Begala bounces off the canvas. Carville tries to get out while the getting’s good. Big Oil drags him back in. Grab throat. Lift. Chokeslam. Daisy lifts Opal up again for another Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb. Obama jumps in the ring and tries to stop her. Quadruple R grabs Obama and whips him into the corner. Daisy up and wham! Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb. KRC calls for a table. Kirk Walstreit slides it in and KRC sets it up. Daisy drags Opal up one more time.

Suave: “THEY’RE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN!”

Opal up. Daisy Cutter Power-Bomb through the table.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW!”

KRC calls for another table.

Suave: “WHAT? JUST PIN HER ALREADY!”

Again, Walstreit slides in a table. KRC sets up on the top rope corner turnbuckle. Daisy drags Opal over to her and sets her up.

Suave: “OPAL’S SET. HERE COMES SOCCER MOM. DAISY GRABS HER! DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB! DDT THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!”

Crowd: “THIS MATCH RULES! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) THIS MATCH RULES (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

Suave: “DAISY CUTTER-BOMB JUST OBLITERATED SOCCER MOM WITH A DAISY CUTTER POWER-BOMB. THEN KRC DDT’S OPAL FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE! KRC COVERS… ONE…TWO…THREE! THAT’S IT! WE’VE GOT A NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!”

WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: KATHRYN RANDALL COLLINS (McMann Corporation)

Suave: “WE ARE THREE OUT OF THREE IN NEW CHAMPIONS TONIGHT! THE McMANN CORPORATION NOW HAS TWO PCW TITLES IN THEIR STABLE! AND WE’VE GOT ONE MORE TO GO! WHAT A NIGHT!”

BACKSTAGE PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. The two Wauseon city policeman are still there.

Suave: “Still nothing from Bubba Jackson about who the new PCW CEO is. We’ll keep an eye on that door.”

McMANN CORPORATE SUITE ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann returns to a waiting CFO Gordon Guyko.

Guyko: “Well? Did you get our man?

McMann: “It took some of our Wall Street bail out money to do it, but we got our guy.”

Guyko: “Excellent. Greed is good. Greed is really, really good.”

McMann: “Yes, it is.”

*YEEEEEEE-AHHHHHHHHH!*

Suave: “Of course, that’s the unmistakable calling card of one, ‘American Screamer’ Howard Dean.” Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer and Harry Reid (Progressive Alliance) come to the ring. O’Beck Bahama and Barack Obama follow.

Suave: “We are minutes away from the PCW Title match. O’Beck Bahama is here. Now, we wait for the PCW Champion.”

GEORGE W’S OFFICE George W works on paperwork. He aide de camp Dick fumes.

Dick: “I still say there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be out there for this match. We are the leaders of the American Patriots.”

W.: “Dick, I’m not worried about it. This is what John McCain wanted.”

Dick: “John McCain can kiss my ass!”

Dick stomps out.

Suave: “Well. Dick seems a little bent.”

American Patriots John Boehner and Mitch McConnell lead the way for McCain and the PCW Champion Starz N. Stripes.

Suave: Starz N. Stripes’ title reign is over eight months. Can he extend it even further tonight? We will find out soon enough.”

Both men in the ring now. Charlene Ann Beckworth climbs in to do the ring announcing.

Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS MATCH IS FOR THE PCW CHAMPIONSHIP! IN THIS CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘THE NATURAL’ BARACK OBAMA, HE’S THE ‘NEW ROOKIE SENSATION’ O’BECK BAHAMA!” Roughly half the crowd stands and cheers on Bahama.

Charlene Ann: “AND IN THE OTHER CORNER, SECONDED BY ‘STRAIGHT SHOOTIN’’ JOHN McCAIN, HE’S THE ‘ORIGINAL ROOKIE SENSATION’ AND THE CURRENT PCW CHAMPION- STARZ N. STRIPES!”

The other half stand and cheer.

Suave: “You can feel the buzz in the air. We could have history in the making here tonight.”

BACKSTAGE PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. The two Wauseon city policeman stand in place.

Suave: “Okay, still no change with Bubba. We’re about ready to go. Starz and Bahama for the PCW Title.

MATCH #9 PCW Championship Match O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance) vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots) The referee calls for the bell.

Suave: “Here we go!”

Staredown as O’Beck and Starz circle each other. Starz smiles and they finally lock up. Starz goes for a bodyslam. Bahama reverses and pushes Starz to the ring ropes. Starz holds on to the ropes. Circling and staring again. Another lockup. O’Beck shoots Starz’s leg and takes him down. Arm drag into a wrist lock by Bahama. Into the corner. Starz unleashes a right hand that glances off Bahama. Bahama with a side headlock. Irish whip into the ropes. Back body drop by Bahama. Bahama shoots him into the ropes again but this time Starz hangs onto them. Starz slides out of the ring and takes a walk to confer with McCain. .Starz back in and they lock up yet again. Bahama monkey-flips Starz and delivers the boots to the gut. Out of nowhere, Starz slaps on the American Star and Fuji Arm Bar submission hold.

Suave: “THIS COULD BE IT!”

Bahama grabs the ropes and hold on to them for dear life. The referee breaks the hold.

Starz confers with John McCain. Bahama slingshots himself across the ring and crushes Starz against the steel barricade. Irish whip into the barricade on the other side. Another Irish whip from Bahama. He ducks for a backdrop but Starz kicks him in the mush. Starz starts laying in right hands and pushes Bahama out through the ropes. Bahama quickly climbs back up on the apron. Starz charges. Bahama ducks and back body drops the PCW champion over the ropes and through a ring table.

Suave: HOLY CRAP!”

O’Beck wastes no time in climbing the top rope and splashing Starz on the floor.

Crowd: “PCW…PCW!”

Starz crawls out of the wreckage but Bahama follows up with an Irish whip into the steel guardrail. Bahama grabs a chair and waffles Starz with it. Starz slumps to the ground. Bahama climbs the ring steps.

Suave: “MISSILE DROP KICK FROM THE STEPS! STARZ CAUGHT IT FLUSH ON HIS JAW AND HE IS DAZED!”

Bahama pulls Starz up. Superkick! Starz falls backwards and hits the floor hard. Barack Obama urges Bahama on. Bahama presses the attack, grabbing another steel folding chair and pastes the champion in the face with it. He throws the chair on the floor.

Suave: “DDT ON THE CHAIR! THE PCW CHAMPION IS IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE HE’S AT!”

Bahama drags Starz back into the ring. Bahama goes for the win.

Suave: “1…2…NO! BAHAMA GAVE HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND STARZ KICKS OUT!”

Bahama goes for another cover.

Suave: “NO! STARZ KICKS OUT AGAIN! BAHAMA MAY HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE IN NOT TRYING TO PIN THE CHAMPION ON THE FLOOR!”

Starz tries to fight back. Bahama lifts him for a jack-knife power bomb. Starz flips through and shoves the New Rookie Sensation into the ropes. Wild right by Starz misses badly. Bahama trips Starz and he lands throat first on the top ring rope. Running splash takes the air out of Starz. Bahama covers.

Suave: “1…2…McCAIN SAVES HIM! McCAIN RAN OVER AND PUT THE CHAMPION’S FOOT ON THE ROPES!”

Bahama drives Starz to the canvas with a running power bomb. The crowd begins to anticipate a possible title change.

Suave: “THIS COULD BE THE NIGHT! BAHAMA COVERS…”

A huge roar erupts.

Suave: “IT’S SARAH PALIN! SHE’S IN THE RING! *THWACK* HOLY CRAP! *THWACK* OH! SHE NAILED BAHAMA WITH HER HOCKEY STICK!”

Bahama staggers.

Suave: “TINA FEY! TINA FEY’S OUT HERE! SHE GOES UP TO PALIN…SHE TAKES THE HOCKEY STICK AWAY. AND NOW, FEY’S LEAVING! PALIN’S CHASING HER.”

Standing drop kick by Starz drives Bahama into the corner.

Suave: “SARAH PALIN HAS TOTALLY CHANGED THE COMPLEXION OF THE MATCH!”

An newly energized Starz throws lefts and rights. Snap mare take down. Enzuigiri by Starz and then a backpack stunner. Bahama blocks a suplex attempt but eats a flying knee. Starz charges and shoulder blocks Bahama into the ropes. Bahama walks right into a Ricola bomb. Cover. 1…2.. Bahama gets the shoulder up. Bahama gets crotched on the top rope and schoolboyed for another two. Starz goes for a Texas Cloverleaf but Starz rolls through it. Starz hits a Michinoku Driver. Starz hits a fireman’s carry takedown and then a chinlock. Bahama escapes the hold and pushes Starz back. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Right by Bahama. Right by Starz. Irish whip by Starz reversed by Bahama followed by another reversal. Bahama misses a leg drop. Starz back suplexes Bahama. Bahama wildly charges. Starz sidesteps. Bahama bounces off the ropes and Starz delivers a Death Valley Driver. Cover.

Suave: “One…Obama breaks the count this time.”

Starz hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Starz goes for a piledriver; Bahama kicks him low.

Suave: “That’ll stop your momentum in a big hurry.”

Bahama with rights. Irish whip into the ropes. Bahama ducks the lariat. Lou Thesz Press by Starz. He pummels Bahama on the canvas. Irish whip by Starz. Belly to belly suplex. Bahama bounces off the canvas.

Suave: “STARZ WITH THE MOMENTUM AND…HE WANTS A TABLE!”

McCain slides a table into the ring and Stara sets it up. Rights by Starz. Then he sets Bahama up. Suave: “HE’S LINING BAHAMA UP…” The PCW crowd roars again.

Suave: “SARAH PALIN! .SARAH PALIN’S BACK OUT!…OR IS IT TINA FEY?”

Palin climbs up to the ring apron.

Suave: “I DON’T THINK STARZ’S SURE IF IT REALLY HER OR NOT.”

McCain’s confused.

Suave: “STARZ PULLS BAHAMA UP AND HOLDS HIM…HE’S TELLING PALIN OR FEY OR WHOMEVER TO GO AHEAD.”

Palin swings. Bahama ducks. Starz catches the stick with his hand. He throws Bahama out of the ring.

Suave: “STARZ IS PISSED. HE FLIPS HER INTO THE RING!”

The crowd stands and cheers.

Suave: “HE’S NOT! YES HE IS.”

Starz powerbombs her through the table.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

Tina Fey runs out dressed as Palin. She winks at Starz and leaves.

Suave: “OH MY GOD! STARZ JUST POWER-BOMBED SARAH PALIN THROUGH A TABLE!”

Starz looks at the unconscious Palin lying among the ruins of the table in abject disbelief. McCain is stunned. Starz checks on her. Bahama claws his way back into the ring and blindsides the distracted Starz from behind.

Suave: “BAHAMA BACK ON THE ATTACK!”

Kicks to the stomach. Rights by Bahama. Irish whip.

Suave: “SOMERSET PLANCHA BY BAHAMA! BULLDOG BY BAHAMA! HE’S CALLING FOR A LADDER!”

Obama slides a ladder in.

Suave: “Bahama with Starz. DDT ONTO THE LADDER!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW!”

Bahama puts the ladder over him and spins like a propeller and decks Starz. Bahama throws the ladder at Starz.

Suave: “STARZ IS HURT AGAIN! HE FALLS BACK INTO THE CORNER!”

Bahama places the ladder on Starz and goes to the opposite corner. He sprints across and plasters the ladder into the champ.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP! THIS COULD BE IT!”

Crowd: “This match rocks! This match rocks!”

Suave: “BAHAMA GOING FOR THE PIN…… ONE…TWO…NO! McCAIN BREAKS THE COUNT! McCAIN LITERALLY LEAPED ACROSS THE RING TO STOP THE REFEREE FROM COUNTING OUT STARZ!”

Bahama climbs up the corner turnbuckle. 450 Splash on Starz. Again, he covers.

Suave: “ONE…TWO…AGAIN! McCAIN AGAIN STOPS THE COUNT!”

McCain stumbles back to his corner. Bahama picks up Starz and power bombs him. Cover.

Suave: “ONE…TWO…NOOOOO! McCAIN AGAIN SAVES STARZ! UNBELIEVEABLE!”

Obama pounds on the ring canvas. Everyone is standing up in the building.

Suave: “THIS CROWD IS GOING NUTS! JOHN McCAIN HAS SAVED THREE PINFALLS! HOLD ON. BAHAMA WANTS A TABLE SET UP OUTSIDE THE RING.”

Obama quickly sets up a table. Bahama picks up Starz. He runs towards the ropes and heaves him over. Starz destroys the table.

Suave: “AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME BOMB! BAHAMA TO THE TOP ROPE. 45O SPLASH! HE COVERS. ONE…WAIT! WHAT’S DICK CHENEY DOING. HE RUNS INTO McCAIN…”

The bell rings.

Suave: “THAT WAS THE BELL? WAIT A MINUTE…CHARLENE ANN BECKWORTH IN THE RING.”

Charlene Ann: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW PCW-”

The deafening crowd drowned out the rest of what of Charlene Ann said.

Suave: “HE DID IT! HE DID IT! O’BECK BAHAMA IS THE NEW PCW CHAMPION!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…PCW!…”

Suave: “LET’S LOOK AT THIS FROM ANOTHER VIEW. HOLY CRAP! McCAIN WAS TRYING TO GET OVER TO STARZ BUT DICK ACCIDENTLY TRIPPED HIM UP. THERE’S THE THREE COUNT.”

BACKSTAGE PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office. Bubba leaves the office and heads towards the ring escorted by the Wauseon police.

Suave: “HERE’S COMES BUBBA JACKSON! IT’S TIME!”

Crowd: “PCW…PCW…PCW…”

Obama, Bahama, and the rest of the Progressive Alliance celebrate in the ring. Bahama holds up the PCW title belt.

Suave: “WHAT AN INCREDIBLE MATCH! THIS MAY HAVE BEEN THE BEST MATCH IN PCW HISTORY! O’BECK BAHAMA DEFEATS STARZ N. STRIPES AND BECOMES THE NEW PCW CHAMPION”

Bubba makes his way to the ring.

Suave: “AND NOW, IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT WHO WILL BE THE NEW CEO OF PCW.”

PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson: “PCW fans! Before I announce my selection to be the new PCW CEO, I want to thank both Barack Obama and John McCain for a spirited and passionate contest. John McCain. You swore you were going to fight to the end and that’s exactly what you did. You stuck to the courage of your convictions and battled as fiercely as I’ve ever seen anyone battle. Barack Obama. Your leadership helped take a raw, unproven talent in O’Beck Bahama and raise him up to where he’s now the PCW Champion. Your youth, your ideals, and your passion has served you well. Both of you are men of honor but there can only be one choice for PCW CEO. PCW fans, the new PCW CEO is…Barack Obama!”

Suave: “IT’S OBAMA! IT’S OBAMA!”

Obama and McCain shake hands and then Obama takes the mic.

Obama: “Bubba Jackson. I humbly accept the position of CEO of Political Championship Wrestling.”

The crowd stands and cheers as the show ends.

[readyforevolution]

Black History Facts!!!

#Happy90th

#NAACP

Born Myrlie Louise Beasley on March 17, 1933, in her maternal grandmother’s home in Vicksburg, Mississippi. She was the daughter of James Van Dyke Beasley, a delivery man, and Mildred Washington Beasley, who was 16 years old. Myrlie’s parents separated when she was just a year old; her mother left Vicksburg but decided that Myrlie was too young to travel with her. Since her maternal grandmother worked all day in service, with no time to raise a child, Myrlie was raised by her paternal grandmother, Annie McCain Beasley, and an aunt, Myrlie Beasley Polk. Both women were respected school teachers and they inspired her to follow in their footsteps. Myrlie attended the Magnolia school, took piano lessons, and performed songs, piano pieces or recited poetry at school, in church, and at local clubs.

Myrlie graduated from Magnolia High School (Bowman High School) in 1950. During her years in high school, Myrlie was also a member of the Chansonettes, a girls’ vocal group from Mount Heroden Baptist Church in Vicksburg. In 1950, Myrlie enrolled at Alcorn A&M College, one of the few colleges in the state that accepted African American students, as an education major intending to minor in music. Myrlie is also a member of Delta Sigma Theta sorority. On her first day of school Myrlie met and fell in love with Medgar Evers, a World War II veteran eight years her senior. The meeting changed her college plans, and the couple later married on Christmas Eve of 1951. They later moved to Mound Bayou, and had three children, Darrell Kenyatta, Reena Denise, and James Van Dyke. In Mound Bayou, Myrlie worked as a secretary at the Magnolia Mutual Life Insurance Company.

When Medgar Evers became the Mississippi field secretary for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in 1954, Myrlie worked alongside him. Myrlie became his secretary and together they organized voter registration drives and civil rights demonstrations. She assisted him as he struggled to end the practice of racial segregation in schools and other public facilities and as he campaigned for voting rights many African Americans were denied this right in the South. For more than a decade, the Everses fought for voting rights, equal access to public accommodations, the desegregation of the University of Mississippi, and for equal rights in general for Mississippi's African American population. As prominent civil rights leaders in Mississippi, the Everses became high-profile targets for pro-segregationist violence and terrorism.

In 1962, their home in Jackson, Mississippi, was firebombed in reaction to an organized boycott of downtown Jackson’s white merchants. The family had been threatened, and Evers targeted by the Ku Klux Klan.

In 1967, after Byron De La Beckwith's release in 1965, she moved with her children to Claremont, California, and emerged as a civil rights activist in her own right. She earned her Bachelor of Arts in sociology from Pomona College. She spoke on behalf of the NAACP and in 1967 she co-wrote For Us, the Living, which chronicled her late husband's life and work. She also made two unsuccessful bids for U.S. Congress. From 1968 to 1970, Evers was the director of planning at the center for Educational Opportunity for the Claremont Colleges.

From 1973 to 1975, Evers was the vice-president for advertising and publicity at the New York-based advertising firm, Seligman and Lapz. In 1975, she moved to Los Angeles to become the national director for community affairs for the Atlantic Richfield Company (ARCO). At ARCO she was responsible for developing and managing all the corporate programs. This included overseeing funding for community projects, outreach programs, public and private partnership programs and staff development. She helped secure money for many organizations such as the National Woman’s Educational Fund, and worked with a group that provided meals to the poor and homeless.

Myrlie Evers-Williams continued to explore ways to serve her community and to work with the NAACP. Los Angeles mayor Tom Bradley appointed her to the Board of Public Works as a commissioner in 1987. Evers-Williams was the first black woman to serve as a commissioner on the board, a position she held for 8 years. Evers-Williams also joined the board of the NAACP. By the mid-1990s, the prestigious organization was going through a difficult period marked by scandal and economic problems. Evers-Williams decided that the best way to help the organization was to run for chairperson of the board of directors. She won the position in 1995, just after her second husband’s death due to prostate cancer. As chairperson of the NAACP, Evers-Williams worked to restore the tarnished image of the organization. She also helped improve its financial status, raising enough funds to eliminate its debt. Evers-Williams received many honors for her work, including being named Woman of the Year by Ms. Magazine. With the organization financially stable, she decided to not seek re-election as chairperson in 1998. In that same year, she was awarded the NAACP's Spingarn Medal.

Sources:

Padgett, John. "MWP: Myrlie Evers-Williams". University of Mississippi. Retrieved October 20, 2011

Goldsworthy, Joan. "Gale - Free Resources - Black History - Biographies - Myrlie Evers-Williams". Gale. Retrieved November 22, 2011.

Myrlie Evers-Williams Biography - Facts, Birthday, Life Story - Biography.com". Famous Biographies & TV Shows - Biography.com. A&E Television Networks. Retrieved November 22, 2011.

Davis, Merlene. "Merlene Davis: Myrlie Evers-Williams doesn't want us to forget". Kentucky.com. Retrieved November 22, 2011.

Jessie Carney Smith; VNR Verlag für die Deutsche Wirtschaft (1996). Notable Black American Women: book II. p. 208.

University of Virginia (June 24, 2013). "Speakers and Guests Bios". virginia.edu. Archived from the original on June 2, 2013.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Kevin Robillard at HuffPost:

In June 2015, former President Donald Trump infamously came down a golden escalator and declared himself the man who couldn’t be bought. “I’m using my own money,” Trump said in the opening speech of his presidential election campaign. “I’m not using the lobbyists. I’m not using donors. I don’t care. I’m really rich.” Trump, who did self-fund large portions of his 2016 primary campaign, would return to this theme again and again. He would run against a field of more mainstream GOP politicians, each backed by super PACs filled with million-dollar checks from wealthy donors, and then against Democrat Hillary Clinton, who many voters saw as the embodiment of a moneyed class of Washington insiders. Now, almost a decade later, he is running as a candidate who is openly for sale. He has said he’ll offer plum jobs to major donors like Elon Musk, promised favors to oil executives, bragged to the wealthy about the tax cuts he can deliver and has even taken time away from his campaign to pitch a cryptocurrency project for his sons.

Americans can even buy DJT on the stock market, in the form of shares in the publicly traded holding company that owns his social media site, Truth Social. That company’s revenues are meager, with the share price hitting all-time lows, but it’s still being propped up by the former president’s loyal political fandom. “He just thinks he operates in his own world,” Fred Wertheimer, a veteran of decades of fights over campaign finance and government ethics, told HuffPost. “What he’s doing is incredibly brazen in both asking for large amounts of money and telling people what he’s going to do for them in return.” “Bottom line, I’ve never seen anyone do what he’s doing,” Wertheimer said. Trump’s campaign did not respond to an email seeking comment for this story. His new strategy may have created an opening for Democrats, if Vice President Kamala Harris and her campaign can seize it.

[...] Trump’s image as an outsider/businessman, unafraid to upset political apple carts, powered his run through the 2016 GOP primaries. He took special aim at former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, the beneficiary of the outside group Right to Rise, which had stunned observers with its explosive fundraising. “They will be bombarded by their lobbyists that donated a lot of money to them,” Trump told a crowd in Iowa of his primary rivals, not long after his campaign’s launch. “Jeb raised $107 million, OK? They’re not putting that money up because it’s a wonderful charity.” Standing on a debate stage in Boulder, Colorado, that October, Trump decried how super PACs were corrupting his fellow candidates. “Super PACs are a disaster,” he said. “They’re a scam. They cause dishonesty. And you better get rid of them because they are causing a lot of bad decisions to be made by some very good people.”

Republicans who worked on the campaigns against Trump remember the message as particularly devastating, if not especially novel. Alex Conant, who was then the communications director for the presidential campaign of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), noted plenty of candidates had tried to run as outsiders taking on the establishment before, but said the tactic was far more effective for a New York real estate developer. “That was his most salient message in 2016,” Conant said. “He was a uniquely good messenger for it, because he was such an outsider, and it also kind of excused all the unconventional stuff — attacking John McCain, attacking Republican Party leaders. A more typical politician, if they were doing that, you would think they were idiots. For him, it was part of what made him so authentic.” In the general election, Trump relied more on outside groups and traditional fundraising than he did during the primary campaign. But as he took on a rival from a second political dynasty ― Democratic nominee Hilary Clinton, who was battling scandals about her email account and a trio of paid speeches she delivered to Goldman Sachs — he still ran as an insurgent.

[...]

‘Always Will Be A Con Man’

Despite his rhetoric, Trump did little to “drain the swamp” upon taking office. He failed to follow through on a promise to divest his business holdings. His hotel quickly became a gathering spot where those hoping to win Trump’s favor could also line his pockets. He appointed lobbyists to key government positions overseeing defense, trade and environmental protection. He took in up to $160 million from international business deals while he was president. “He has and always will be a con man who’s really only looking out for himself and whatever helps him to obtain power,” said Tiffany Muller, the president of the Democratic campaign finance group End Citizens United. “All his promises went out the window. Instead of draining the swamp, he brought the swamp to him and his properties and cashed in.”

Donald Trump and his supporters have long pushed the baseless refrain that “he can’t be bought.”

Well, I have some news that the MAGAdonians don’t like: Trump didn’t drain the swamp but expanded the swamp and has been bought by Super PACs to fulfill their agendas.

[aquamonstra]

Incredible article by Caitlin Johnstone, definitely worth a read! (Link includes audio version)

Full text below the cut:

What’s happening in Gaza SHOULD radicalize you. It absolutely should.

Right now, even as its own criminality hits fever pitch, the western political-media class is fretting with increasing shrillness about young people getting “radicalized” and turned against their government by the spread of information and ideas at campus demonstrations and on TikTok.

But young people should be radicalizing right now. Everyone should.

When you see Israel rejecting a Hamas ceasefire and beginning its long-threatened assault on Rafah (the last so-called “safe zone” in Gaza), that should radicalize you.

When you see US senators assist this horrifying onslaught by publicly threatening the International Criminal Court if they dare to indict Israeli officials for war crimes, that should radicalize you.

When you see Israel shutting down Al Jazeera to quash news reporting about its criminality immediately before launching this mass atrocity, that should radicalize you.

When you see The New York Times receiving a Pulitzer Prize for its scandalously discredited, notoriously biased and widely-mocked Gaza coverage, that should radicalize you.

When you see the US president publicly supporting and encouraging violent police crackdowns against protesters opposing his genocidal actions in Gaza, that should radicalize you.

If the so-called “moderate” position of your nation’s political status quo is to accept, normalize, support and defend the sort of evil that is being inflicted upon the people of Gaza, then you should want to get as far away from that “moderate” position as possible, and you should seek the complete annihilation of that political status quo.

This obvious point is being aggressively attacked with rapidly intensifying frenzy by the empire and its lackeys.

After police violently shut down anti-genocide campus demonstrations in New York City, Mayor Eric Adams said “There is a movement to radicalize young people, and I’m not going to wait until it’s done… I’m not going to allow that to happen as the mayor of the City of New York,” as though preventing the spread of radical political opinions is something a mayor is elected to do in the United States.

NYPD Deputy Commissioner of Operations Kaz Daughtry ominously told the press that there is “some organization” who is “radicalizing our students,” and that the New York police force intends to “find out who that is.” Again, the implication being that it is the job of the police to control the spread of unauthorized political opinions.

In an article with the incredibly propagandistic headline “Anti-Israel protests infiltrated by ‘outside agitators’ who radicalize students, sow violence,” The Washington Times presented these unevidenced assertions from New York City officials as though they are established fact instead of highly convenient fiction.

In a talk at the McCain Institute on Friday, Senator Mitt Romney told Secretary of State Antony Blinken that Congress supports banning TikTok because it shares information that turns people’s opinions against Israel, saying such information has a “very, very challenging effect on the narrative.”

A new report from The Intercept reveals that congressmen Mike Lawler and Josh Gottheimer called on the FBI to investigate campus protesters at a “centrist” political group called No Labels, suggesting there these demonstrations have a nefarious support system which the federal police should look into.

The Wall Street Journal has been losing its mind over the campus protests, posting articles with headlines like “Activist Groups Trained Students for Months Before Campus Protests” and “Rules for Campus Radicals, 2024 — A website reveals the planning and strategy behind the current college mayhem” which suggest that there is something sinister and unacceptable about these demonstrations receiving support from “longtime activists and left-wing groups.”

MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough went full Alex Jones on his show last week, telling his audience that these university protests have been happening because Qatar has “poured hundreds of millions of dollars into American universities to have a radicalizing effect on Middle Eastern studies.”

Empire managers and propagandists have been pushing the narrative that foreign governments are behind this new protest movement to radicalize young people against Washington and Israel, though as we discussed recently they humorously can’t yet manage to agree on which foreign government that is.

The imperial spinmeisters have been churning out these talking points about radicalization and nefarious support because that’s the narrative bludgeon they plan on using to stomp out the burgeoning antiwar movement the empire has created with its genocidal atrocities in Gaza. If they can establish a narrative that it is the government’s job to shut down political dissent and stop the spread of unauthorized political opinions, then they can justify doing pretty much anything to stop this movement in its tracks.

All to shut down something that absolutely SHOULD be happening. Young people SHOULD be cultivating radical political positions in response to an active genocide that’s supported by their government. An antiwar movement SHOULD be forming against the imperial murder machine as its murderousness gets more and more insane. People SHOULD be aggressively rejecting the political status quo that has allowed this nightmare to be unleashed upon humanity.

Everyone should be turning against the US-centralized empire right now. Don’t let the imperial manipulators dupe our society into believing this turn is anything but a correct and appropriate response to what the empire is doing.

[jloisse]

«La Chine sape tout ce que l'Occident fait contre la Russie: l’Etat profond redoute un «point de bascule»

Petit jeu de théâtre à Washington, en Commission judiciaire du Sénat, entre Lindsey Graham, représentant de l’Etat profond et le chef de la diplomatie US Antony Blinken… autre représentant de l’Etat profond.

«Que faut-il faire de plus pour être un Etat parrain du terrorisme ?», a lancé Graham, exhortant le gouvernement à jeter Poutine au cachot.

Et Graham de s’alarmer sur le «partenariat stratégique» entre Moscou et Pékin , des «puissances révisionnistes» de l'ordre mondial américain:

«Nous aurions dû fournir plus d'armes à l'Ukraine avant l'invasion [russe]», a-t-il bougonné.

Le sénateur sait de quoi il parle.

Accompagné de John McCain, autre agent américain du chaos en Syrie, Graham était en Ukraine fin 2016 pour galvaniser les troupes du régime de Kiev, espérant une offensive dans le courant de l’année suivante.

Avec un plan très clair: «Votre combat est notre combat. Nous allons retourner à Washington et nous occuper de monter un dossier contre la Russie».

[mythologeekwriter]

I think this article is worth the read:

US evangelicals drive Republican support for Israel - BBC News

Some passages that stuck out to me:

George Washington University religious scholar Christopher Rollston says: "There's a strong sense within evangelicalism that the Jewish people are God's people.

"And there's a theological assumption that's pretty pervasive within certain segments of evangelicalism that the establishment of the modern state of Israel was the fulfilment of biblical prophecy."

-

John Hagee is a Texas-based Christian minister and president of Christians United for Israel, which boasts 10 million members.

In 2008, he said the Holocaust was part of God's plan to return Jews to Israel. The Republican presidential candidate at the time, John McCain, declined his endorsement in part because of those comments.

-

In the End Days, a certain strain of Christian theology holds, the Jewish people will either convert to Christianity or perish in flames. It is a key step towards Armageddon that is then followed by 1,000 years of peace, according to this belief.

A Pew Research survey last year found 39% of Americans - including 63% of evangelicals - believe humanity is "living in the end times".