#mccabes cycles

[mccabes-cycles]

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Love my new pizza cutter Santa Brought

[afterglowkatie]

we are broken | a.p.

alexia putellas x mccabe!reader | katie mccabe x mccabe!reader (platonic) | 3.4k | when your relationship with alexia falls apart, your sister is there to pick you back up

ˏˋ°•*⁀ first fic for my we were happy universe, set pre enchanted to meet you universe. this is starting at the end of alexia and r's relationship, and might have come to be written from my own personal experience and the last 6 months of a 6 year relationship i was previously in :) anyway! hope you enjoy it! mostly angst, hurt/comfort :) also really happy with this one! italics = flashback/not the present time!

‘Ale, where are you even going right now?’ You watched, clinging onto the sheets you had wrapped around your bare body while you watched your girlfriend scramble around picking up her clothes and getting dressed again. It was the middle of the night and it wasn’t the first time Alexia had done this. 

You used to go to and from training together, but now you’d arrive home before Alexia even bothered to let you know if she was coming home that night. She’d been spending more time away from you and any time she did spend with you it seemed like a chore for her. If she came home, you’d at least eat together, but there always had to be a show playing and Alexia never cared to listen to what you had to say any more.

Alexia used to, or you thought she used to love listening to you talk about your day. Even if you were both at training you’d often find yourself in different groups, though Alexia would always find you throughout the day, stealing little kisses and hugs from you. But now you’d be lucky if she responded with more than one word whenever you did try to speak. 

Some nights were different, some nights you saw the Alexia that you knew loved you, but those moments had started to become short lived. It was like you’d been stuck in this cycle for months now, no way of knowing how to break it, or if it could be broken at this point.

Tonight was just another night that left you confused and wanting answers. She’d been so sweet with you, cooking dinner for the two of you and listening to the stories of whatever you and Mapi had gotten up to instead of actually training, the two of you together were always trouble.

Alexia had kissed you in a way that made your knees buckle and you instantly melted against her. It had been a while since she’d kissed you like that and now you were paying the price of instantly letting her have you just to break all over again. Which she did, as soon as it was over, as soon as she was done with you the facade dropped. She wiped her mouth, placing a small kiss against your thigh before leaving you lying there to catch yourself.

The Alexia you fell in love with, the Alexia for that first year and a half of your relationship would’ve kissed her way up your body. Whispering sweet nothings, while you caught your breath and came down from your high. She used to look at you with so much softness and love, you wondered where that all went and when did it all change. Why wouldn’t she stay and cuddle with you like she used to? 

You had started feeling like you were just a toy for her to use whenever she wanted and just throw away once she was done. It wasn’t a great feeling and every time you were left laying in the bed you were supposed to share with Alexia, feeling used and thinking about the times with Alexia before everything started to change. Sequentially, you started to hate yourself for always folding whenever Alexia gave you a crumb of attention that mimicked the first year of your relationship, when you knew you’d end up hurt all over again.

There were times you had tried to talk to Alexia about the change that you’d notice but every time she would dismiss it and say how stressed she’d been lately. You obviously sympathised with your girlfriend and tried to do anything you could to make her life easier. You could understand that her role within the club wasn’t always easy, so you did what you could to support Alexia. 

Because that’s what you do for your girlfriend and you love Alexia more than you could ever begin to explain. Six months ago you’d give her the space she said she needed, you were understanding. But then six months went by and everything with Alexia had progressively gotten worse. 

‘Alexia, amor, are you listening to me?’ You sat up, just wanting Alexia to acknowledge you for once instead of ignoring you and then pretending everything was fine the next day.

‘Je-Y/n,’ Alexia sighed, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose, hoping you wouldn’t notice her almost slip up. What she didn’t realise is that you started to hang onto her every word and every ounce of attention, as pathetic as you felt for doing that. So you did notice the slip up. 

Your eyes narrowed and you sat up more, making sure that the sheet that was wrapped around you didn’t fall. You already felt vulnerable enough in front of Alexia right now, you didn’t want to add to that, ‘Is there another person?’ Your voice was small, the question making you feel sick to your stomach. The weight you felt in your chest increased the longer Alexia went with answering your question.

It was a question that had plagued the back of your mind but that’s where you kept that thought. You thought you knew Alexia and you really thought that was something she would never do to you. As much as you didn’t want to accept and admit it, it made the most sense with how she’d started treating you and acting around you. All those times when you’d see that sweet, loving and caring side to Alexia again, was filled with the thoughts that she was only being that way to you out of guilt.

‘Amor, just don’t wait up,’ Alexia couldn’t bring herself to look at you or to answer your question, though for you her no answer was an answer in itself, telling you what you subconsciously already knew.

‘No, Alexia, I’m sick of feeling like a chore you don’t want to do. I’m tired of being a second choice. If I’d known this is how you’d end up treating me, I would’ve never said yes when you asked me to be your girlfriend. You don’t treat someone you love this way, Alexia, unless,’ Your voice trailed off, mind spiralling out of control and letting your emotions take over, ‘Ale,’ Tears pricked at your eyes but you were determined to not let them fall. You didn’t want to let them fall, to be vulnerable in front of Alexia. But you wanted her to see how much she’s hurt you, even if you don’t think she’d feel bad for what she’s done.

As soon as you heard the door to your apartment shut, the tears started streaming down your face. You were heartbroken in a country that you’d only been living in for three years, around people you weren’t 100% comfortable around while in this state. You were yearning for the safety of your sister's arms, she always knew how to help you and make you feel better. 

Your older sister, despite being quite close in age, had always been quite protective over you. She’d been there for you throughout your previous heartbreaks and rejections, promising to always keep you safe and reassuring you that you were always loved. As long as you had your older sister, nothing could hurt you that much.

While laying in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, you knew that you couldn’t stay here right now. You couldn’t be alone, you didn’t want to feel alone or lonely and you just wanted a break from your mind that continued to spiral and plague your mind with unpleasant thoughts about you and Alexia, but mainly about yourself.

You didn’t give anyone room to argue or negotiate with you when you said you needed to take a week away for personal reasons. At this point you didn’t care if you were benched the rest of the season or if something else happened. You were focused on doing what was best for yourself. Right now you couldn’t stay in Barcelona, you couldn’t go back to the club and have to face Alexia right now. 

Before you knew it, before anyone else knew it, you were on your way back to London. Navigating your way through the familiar city and finding yourself at the door of the apartment that felt like home, ‘Katie what’s wrong with me?’ The only words you managed to get out before you wrapped your arms around your sister and let all your emotions out.

Katie didn’t have the time to process that you were here, at her apartment, crying in her arms. The last she knew you were supposed to be in Barcelona. From what you’d told her, you were thriving. That wasn’t a complete lie, you were thriving in football at Barcelona. But you’d neglected to let yourself lean on anyone during the last six months. Not wanting to accept that your relationship was failing and wanting to live in the delusion that you could fix the drift that was occurring between you and Alexia.

Which led you to not telling anyone you were close with, sure some of the girls at Barcelona had noticed the growing rift between you and Alexia, but you always dismissed anyone’s worries or concerns. Not talking about it was the only thing you had to lean on. In the end it didn’t work out for you, making you go all the way to London to try to accept the one thing you’d been dreading coming true the last few months.

Katie managed to move the both of you from the front door to the couch, sitting down with you almost in her lap. She’d never seen you look so small, the vacant look in your eyes while the tears fell silently down your face. Until you were able to calm yourself down all Katie could do was hold you and rub your back gently, whispering that she’s here and you’re okay.

But you weren’t okay, at this moment you didn’t know if you would ever be okay again. The irrational part of your brain taking over, any sense of rationality you would’ve had was long taken over by your emotions. Eventually you’re breathing evened out and the tears slowed, not stopping completely but less than before. 

‘I don’t wanna talk about it,’ Your voice was small and raspy from all the crying you’d done. You thought you might’ve been overreacting the whole situation, but the more you thought about the other night and the last six months in general, you realised that you weren’t overreacting. Even if neither you or Alexia had said the words out loud, you knew what you both shared was over and it had been for a while now.

‘Whenever you’re ready, I got you,’ A promise that Katie would never break, especially when it came to you. You were both the closest in age in your family, you both loved football, you both just had this bond that nothing could ever compare to it. 

‘And just kick the ball, like this,’ You watched your older sister intently while she taught you everything she was learning. Every week you’d cheer on your sister at her games, always in awe of how good you thought she was. Especially when she’d taken out and was better than that one boy that had been calling you names at school. 

You begged your mam to buy you your own football and you instantly found Katie when you’d gotten home that day showing her what you bought, ‘I wanna be just like you,’ 

‘I think, maybe you might be better than me one day,’ From then on, anyone would find you and Katie in the yard, kicking around the ball, playing little scrimmages just the two of you. Even if Katie would always win when it was the two of you messing around, it made you work harder until the day you managed to beat your older sister. 

‘Do you think one day we’d play for Ireland together? Do you think I’m good enough to?’ You and Katie were both a bit older now. Katie had played a few times in the youth teams for Ireland and the moment you saw your sister wearing the Ireland kit, you knew that’s what you wanted. You wanted to do that and you wanted it to be alongside your sister. 

‘One day the whole world will know who the McCabe sisters are,’ You both laughed while laying outside looking up at the sky. A dream you both shared, playing for Ireland together, one that eventually came true. From being kids messing around, always with a ball at your feet, to living out your dreams together. 

Eventually you told Katie everything that had happened between you and Alexia, recalling every last thing from the last six months. Katie hated how you were still downplaying how Alexia had treated you and constantly making excuses and defending her. But she could see how much you were hurting, she’d give you a reality check another day but for now she’d hold back.

Despite everything, you still love Alexia. You love her to the point you feel guilty saying anything bad about her, because there were lots of good moments, lots of times where she made you feel loved. You didn’t want that to be forgotten, you didn’t want to forget that. You didn’t want the last six months to completely take away from the year and a half before, when everything with Alexia was perfect.

You were surprised at your sister's reaction, honestly thinking you’d have to hold her back from getting on the next flight to Barcelona and tracking Alexia down to give her a piece of her mind. Instead Katie wrapped her arms around you and made you promise to not shut her or anyone out again. 

Those words played through your mind when it was night and you were trying to sleep, but every time you closed your eyes you were plagued with memories of you and Alexia. The memories were almost like nightmares now, the what could’ve been but now was never going to be a reality. 

‘Katie,’ You whispered, slowly opening the door to her bedroom.

‘What’s up lil mac?’ Katie whispered, with a small smile at the nickname she’d given you, but the smile fell when she took in the state of you. 

‘I-I don’t wanna be alone,’ Your voice is small, eyes glazed over, tears threatening to fall and a permanent frown etched onto your face. Nervously playing with your fingers, almost ready to apologise for waking your older sister when you knew she had an important match the next day.

‘Come here,’ Katie moved over and lifted the sheets so you could slide in next to her. The moment your head fell against her chest, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. No words were needed between you and Katie, it’s like she just understood you. Wiping your tears away and letting you sleep in her bed with her. She didn’t have to know you’d just had your heart broken for the first time. She didn’t need to know that you felt like you couldn’t tell anyone because it was the first girl you’d secretly dated. Katie never asked questions, just held you and let you sleep in her bed whenever you needed her.

‘I can’t stop thinking about her. Every time I close my eyes. Every time I lay in bed and she’s not there next to me,’ You paused, taking a deep breath, ‘There’s this weird, uncomfortable, feeling in my stomach and I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone, I just want Ale but I shouldn’t want her but I do,’ 

You hadn’t slept much the last few nights while staying with Katie. It was noticeable with the darkening circles under your eyes. Even if towards the end Alexia had almost completely stopped sleeping in the same bed as you, you’d still spent over a year sharing a bed with someone and to know that you’d never share the same one with her had you craving for her touch. 

All you wanted was for Alexia to hold you again, to tell you everything was going to be okay, that the two of you were okay. You knew that wasn’t going to happen, but you still wished it would. You wished you would wake up from this nightmare, go back to Barcelona and Alexia would be for you waiting at your apartment. You’d fall into her arms, the ones that always made you feel safe and wanted until they didn’t anymore. Feelings were cruel and you wished for nothing more than to stop feeling, but you couldn’t turn that part of you off, no matter how hard you tried. 

‘It’s okay to still want her, even if you feel it isn’t the right thing. You spent a long time together and it’s completely understandable. I know I’m just your sister and I’m not Alexia but you can sleep here so maybe it might help you not feel so alone,’ Katie spoke softly, if you were in a better mood the softness of your sisters voice would be amusing, not realising Katie could make her voice be that soft or quiet, ‘It won’t be easy, but you’re one of the strongest people I know. Plus you got me and we make a good team,’

Katie was right about that. The rest of your week with Katie really helped. Though one week was definitely not enough and you were dreading going back to your apartment in Barcelona. The uneasy feelings of not knowing what you were about to be facing once you returned to the city you have called home for the last three years now. Would Alexia be there? Part of you hoped that she would be, having realised that you were all she needed and ready to apologise for how she’s treated you. The sad part is if she did that, you would take her back in a heartbeat, despite your head telling you no you would listen to what your heart wanted.

But when you arrived back at your apartment you didn’t have to worry about that. The only thing you had to worry about was the way your chest felt unbearably heavy and like a weight had dropped to the bottom of your stomach. Katie had travelled with you to make sure you were okay being back in Barcelona, she didn’t miss the way your body tensed and you froze when you rounded the corner and your front door came into view.

The closer you got you could see the contents of the box that carelessly sat in front of your door. Everything that you had at Alexia’s, including the gifts you had made and bought for her during your relationship. The realisation that your relationship really was over came crashing down over you. Too much for you to handle so Katie picked up the box, opened your apartment door and took care of everything you needed her to do.

You sat down on the couch in the living room while Katie went around getting rid of everything she knew that would remind you of Alexia. A lot of the things were quite obvious, like pictures of you and Alexia all over your apartment, items from the holidays you’d told Katie all about and hoodies and barca training gear that definitely wasn’t yours. Katie didn’t fully get rid of it all, instead putting it into a box and hiding it away knowing that you would want to decide the fate of the items when you could think more rationally.

‘Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?’ Katie asked for the millionth time before she had to leave you to go back to London. You rolled your eyes playfully, even though you were dreading going back to training and seeing Alexia for the first time since that night she left, you were feeling better than you were a week ago. You’d smiled the first time again and were joking around with your older sister. Signs that made Katie feel relief, but still worried about leaving you.

‘I’ll do my best, you know that,’ You were genuine. You knew, in the back of your mind, that you weren’t going to crumble and fall apart. There were going to be tough moments, but you had your sister and you had your friends within Barcelona, ‘I promise to call you if I need to, I won’t push you away,’ You were going to be okay and you genuinely believed that.

[daphwritesworld]

DAPH'S MASTERLIST

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ARSENAL W.F.C

#23 A. Russo 

Series: coming soon…

fics:

digital bath. 18+

You drunkenly claim that Alessia is a bottom to the team…she shows you & them just how bad you’re lying through your teeth. 

all to you. 18+, fluff

After spending two months away in the States with your family– you’re finally flying back home to England. To your Alessia. 

blurbs:

Alessia waking up from a wet dream of you, her teammate…it gets a little raunchy from there 👀 18+

Needy!Alessia taking the strap in the car 18+

Dom!Alessia teaching Rival!Reader a lesson in respect. 18+

You push yourself too hard your first game back on the pitch. It’s a good thing you’ve got two extra worried girlfriends to remind you to properly rest ft. Le 18+

#6 L. Williamson

Series: 

be my baby. 18+, fluff …in progress!

You’re an Athletic Trainer hired by Arsenal to attend practices and games. The captain seems to lose all ability to communicate properly around you. Some would even go as far as to say she’s purposely tripping just to have you run out to check on her to see that little worried look on your face. 

fics:

BeFoUr. ft— Le PART ONE 18+

You've always been a perfect submissive for your girlfriend…but what happens when you decide to break that good girl persona she's grown so accustomed to? And what happens when you enroll her best friend to help you? Lord help you, girl.

blurbs:

You push yourself too hard your first game back on the pitch. It’s a good thing you’ve got two extra worried girlfriends to remind you to properly rest ft. Less 18+

#11 K. McCabe

series: coming soon…

fics:

LUNCH. 18+, fluff

A much needed rest day has finally come for you and your girlfriend. She's got everything planned out for you both, from a secret appointment, to a movie date, and treating you to a nice lunch on the beach.

CHELSEA F.C.WOMEN

#22 L. Bronze

series: coming soon…

fics: coming soon…

#21 N. Charles

series: coming soon…

fics: coming soon…

#20 S. Kerr

series: coming soon…

fics: coming soon…

FC BARCELONA 

#11 A. Putellas

series: 

american wedding. 18+, fluff, agnst …coming soon!

 You wake up in Vegas with a rock on your finger and in bed with Alexia…the girl who made you swear this was all no strings attached. Now she’s calling you Mrs. Putellas, moving you into her house, but pretending you don’t know each other in public. What could possibly go wrong, right? 

fics: coming soon…

#23 I. Engen

series: coming soon…

fics: coming soon…

#4 M. León

series: coming soon…

fics: coming soon…

∘₊✧ extra people i write for ✧₊∘

Other footballers:

#23 Kyra Cooney- Cross

#7 Ella Toone

blurbs:

Ella ignores you during practice so you show her how you feel about it in the locker room 18+

#21 Keira Walsh

fics:

BeFoUr. ft— Le PART ONE 18+

You've always been a perfect submissive for your girlfriend…but what happens when you decide to break that good girl persona she's grown so accustomed to? And what happens when you enroll her best friend to help you? Lord help you, girl.

WNBA/NCAA WOMEN’S 🏀:

#5 Paige Bueckers

#1 Nika Mühl

MY EDITS 📸:

The Never Ending Cycle Of Success— Alexia Putellas

Women’s Achievements Can Never Go Celebrated Without The Criticism Of Men.

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[starsjulia]

perfect just the way you are // leah williamson

leah williamson x neurodivergent reader

a/n : i’m literally editing and uploading all my drafts because im on a writing grind, please feel free to send requests! also this is not an accurate representation of neuroscience, this is just one of the ways i experience it!!

warnings : none really! just comfort

Leah Williamson had always been known for her steady presence, the kind of calm that could anchor an entire team even in the most intense moments. She was the one you could rely on to keep a cool head, to make the right decisions under pressure, and to maintain a certain level of detachment that kept her focused on the game. But when it came to Y/N, all of that went out the window.

Y/N was different. She wasn’t the kind of person who faded into the background or followed the crowd. Her mind was a kaleidoscope of interests and ideas, always buzzing with energy. It wasn’t uncommon for her to launch into a discussion about the migration patterns of monarch butterflies in the middle of dinner or to suddenly start wondering aloud about the physics of time travel while walking through a park. Y/N’s quirks made her endearing to those who knew her well, but they could also make her stand out in ways that weren’t always easy.

One evening, the Arsenal girls were out celebrating a hard-fought win at a cozy restaurant in town. Leah had invited Y/N along, as she always did, eager to have her by her side during the rare moments of relaxation they all shared. Y/N had been excited, rambling on about a new documentary she’d watched on ancient civilizations as they made their way to the restaurant.

The team had gathered around a long table, laughter and chatter filling the room. Y/N was seated next to Leah, as always, with Katie McCabe and Alessia Russo across from them. Y/N was her usual vibrant self, animatedly discussing the concept of time in different cultures with Alessia, who was doing her best to keep up.

“So, in ancient Egypt,” Y/N began, her hands moving as she spoke, “time was seen as this cyclical thing, not linear like we think of it today. They believed that everything was part of this ongoing cycle, which is why their rituals were so important—”

Alessia, though genuinely interested, was starting to get a little overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information. She was about to respond when Beth Mead, who was seated a few spots down, cut in with a lighthearted, but careless comment.

“Y/N, do you ever talk about anything normal?” Beth said, her tone teasing, tough Y/N sometimes had difficulty differentiating tones.

The words hung in the air for a moment, and the table went quiet. Y/N’s face fell, the light in her eyes dimming as she processed what had been said. She tried to hide it, but Leah saw the hurt flash across her features.

Leah’s expression hardened almost immediately. She knew Beth hadn’t meant any harm—Beth was like that sometimes, saying things without thinking—but that didn’t make it any less painful for Y/N. Leah felt a surge of protectiveness rise up within her, a need to shield Y/N from any hurt, intentional or not.

“Beth,” Leah’s voice was calm, but there was a steely edge to it that made everyone at the table look up. “That wasn’t necessary.”

Beth blinked, realizing too late that her comment had hit a nerve. “Oh, Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said quickly, her tone apologetic. “I just—”

But Y/N was already pulling back into herself, her earlier enthusiasm snuffed out like a candle in the wind. She offered a small, strained smile, brushing it off. “No, it’s fine. I know I can be a bit… much sometimes.”

Leah felt her heart clench at the words. She hated hearing Y/N talk about herself like that, as though her passions and quirks were something to apologize for. Without a second thought, Leah slid her chair closer to Y/N, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into a comforting embrace.

“You’re not too much,” Leah whispered into her ear, her voice soft and reassuring. “You’re perfect, just the way you are.”

Y/N leaned into Leah’s side, the tension in her body slowly easing as she took comfort in Leah’s presence. “Really?” she asked, her voice small, filled with the vulnerability she so rarely let show.

“Really,” Leah confirmed, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “I love the way your mind works, the way you see the world. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, though she quickly blinked them away, not wanting to make a scene. “I just… I never want to embarrass you.”

Leah’s expression softened, her hand gently cupping Y/N’s cheek as she turned her to face her. “You could never embarrass me. You’re the most incredible person I know, and I’m so proud of you—of everything that makes you who you are. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you need to change, least of all yourself.”

Y/N looked into Leah’s eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity and love reflected back at her. It was a balm to the wound that Beth’s accidental, careless words had opened, and she felt a wave of gratitude wash over her. Leah always knew how to make her feel seen, understood, and cherished in a way that no one else ever had.

Katie, who had been watching the exchange with a guilty look, leaned over and nudged Beth, who was still looking mortified. “Apologize properly,” Katie whispered, her tone gentle but firm.

Beth nodded, her earlier bravado replaced with genuine remorse. “Y/N, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was just being a bit of an idiot.”

Y/N gave her a small, forgiving smile. “It’s okay, Beth. I know you didn’t mean it. I just… I get excited about things sometimes.”

Beth smiled back, relieved. “We all love that about you, Y/N. Keep being you, yeah?”

Y/N nodded, her spirits lifting slightly as the atmosphere around the table relaxed once more. Leah kept her arm around her, though, not letting go until she was sure Y/N was truly okay.

The rest of the evening passed without incident, the conversation flowing more naturally now that everyone was a bit more mindful. Leah stayed close to Y/N, making sure she felt supported and included, even as the topics shifted to more mundane matters.

Later, as they walked back to Leah’s place, Y/N was quieter than usual, her thoughts still lingering on what had happened. Leah noticed, of course—she always noticed.

“Hey,” Leah said softly, stopping in her tracks and turning to face Y/N. “You alright?”

Y/N shrugged, her eyes downcast. “I just… I don’t want people to think I’m weird, you know? I know I can be intense, and sometimes I worry that people just tolerate me because they have to.”

Leah’s heart ached at the vulnerability in Y/N’s voice. She took Y/N’s hands in hers, squeezing them gently. “You’re not weird, and people don’t just tolerate you. They care about you, Y/N. You bring something special to every room you walk into. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Y/N looked up at her, her eyes searching Leah’s for any sign of doubt. But all she saw was unwavering love and support, and it made her heart swell with emotion.

“You really think so?” Y/N asked, her voice barely above a whisper, uncertainty flickering in her gaze.

Leah nodded, her expression soft but resolute. “I do, Y/N. I think the world of you, and so do the others. Your mind, your heart, everything that makes you who you are—it’s all incredible to me.”

Y/N looked down at their joined hands, her thoughts swirling. “Sometimes it just feels like I’m too much. Like… people don’t really get me, and I’m just annoying them with the way I am.”

Leah’s grip on Y/N’s hands tightened, a surge of protectiveness washing over her. “I know it can feel like that sometimes, but I promise you, it’s not true. You’re not too much, Y/N. You’re exactly enough, exactly who you’re supposed to be. And anyone who doesn’t see that—well, they’re missing out on something amazing.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were tears of relief, of gratitude. She felt the weight of her insecurities lifting, bit by bit, as Leah’s words sank in. “But what if… what if I’m too much for you?”

Leah’s heart broke at the vulnerability in Y/N’s voice. She reached up, gently cupping Y/N’s face in her hands, forcing her to meet her gaze. “You could never be too much for me, Y/N. I love every part of you. Your energy, your passion, the way you light up when you talk about something that excites you—I love all of it. You make my life brighter just by being in it.”

Y/N’s breath hitched, her hands trembling slightly as she absorbed Leah’s words. “I just… I don’t want to be a burden to you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me all the time.”

Leah shook her head, her thumbs brushing away the tears that had begun to fall. “You’re not a burden, not in the slightest. Being with you, caring for you, loving you—it’s the greatest privilege of my life. I want to be there for you, Y/N, in every way I can. Because that’s what love is. It’s about being there for each other, lifting each other up, and making sure we both feel safe and cherished.”

Y/N sniffled, a small, tentative smile starting to form on her lips. “You make me feel that way, Leah. You make me feel like I’m… enough.”

“You are more than enough,” Leah whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Y/N’s forehead, letting her lips linger there as she spoke. “You’re everything to me. And I’ll spend every day reminding you of that, if that’s what it takes.”

Y/N closed her eyes, letting the warmth of Leah’s words and touch envelop her. She felt the last of her doubts melting away, replaced by a deep sense of security and love. Leah had always been her rock, her safe place, and in moments like this, she knew there was nothing they couldn’t face together.

“I love you so much,” Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible, but filled with all the emotion she felt in her heart.

Leah pulled back just enough to look into Y/N’s eyes, her own gaze filled with tenderness. “And I love you, Y/N. More than you’ll ever know.”

For a moment, they just stood there, wrapped up in each other, the world around them fading into the background. There was nothing but the sound of their breathing, the feel of their hands intertwined, and the steady, comforting beat of their hearts.

Eventually, Leah broke the silence, her voice soft but firm. “You know what I think?”

Y/N tilted her head slightly, curiosity piqued. “What?”

Leah smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair behind Y/N’s ear. “I think you’re one of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met. And I’m not just saying that because I love you. I’m saying it because it’s true. You see the world in ways most people can’t even begin to understand, and that’s a gift. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you need to dim that light.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion, her earlier doubts fading into the background as Leah’s words wrapped around her like a warm blanket. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “Thank you for loving me like this.”

Leah’s smile widened, her eyes shining with affection. “I’m the one who’s thankful, Y/N. Thankful that I get to love you, that I get to be the person by your side. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

Y/N felt a deep sense of peace settle over her, the kind that came from knowing she was truly loved for who she was. With Leah by her side, she felt like she could face anything the world threw at her. Because Leah wasn’t just her partner—she was her safe place, her anchor, and the person who made her feel like she was perfect just the way she was.

[httpswritings]

nothing to be ashamed of

katie mccabe x reader

A jolt of cold dread ripped you from sleep. Disoriented, you blinked at the faint glow of the bedside lamp. A crimson stain blooming on the white sheets confirmed your worst fear. Your period had arrived overnight, and you'd bled through everything. Shame washed over you, a familiar tide during these times.

A soft sniffle beside you broke the silence. You turned to see Katie, your amazing girlfriend, her brow furrowed with concern. Her usually vibrant blue eyes held a tenderness that melted the knot forming in your throat.

"Hey, love, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep but laced with a concern that warmed you despite the chill of fear.

You couldn't meet her gaze. "It's my period," you mumbled, the words barely audible. You felt ridiculous for feeling this way, but periods always made you feel vulnerable, exposed.

Understanding flickered across Katie's face, chasing away the worry lines. She sat up, gently brushing a stray strand of hair from your cheek. "Oh, baby," she murmured, her voice a soothing balm. "Don't worry, I'm here."

The efficiency with which she moved next was both comforting and a testament to years of dealing with her own cycle. Reaching for the nightstand drawer, she retrieved a box of tampons and a fluffy heating pad. Her movements were silent, a silent language of love and care you understood all too well.

As you sat up, wincing at the dull ache in your lower abdomen, Katie took your hand, her warm touch grounding you. "Let's get you changed," she said, her voice calm and reassuring. "Then we can cuddle on the couch with some hot chocolate, okay?"

The idea of leaving the warmth of your bed felt daunting, but the thought of hot chocolate and Katie's comforting presence was irresistible. You managed a weak nod, a flicker of a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Katie made quick work of helping you change. Her movements were gentle yet efficient as she removed the stained sheets, tucking you into fresh ones that smelled like sunshine. As she plugged in the heating pad, a wave of gratitude washed over you. You never realized how much these simple acts meant until you were in this vulnerable state.

Curled under the covers with the heating pad pressed against your stomach, a wave of relief washed over you. Katie settled beside you, her strong arm wrapping around your shoulders. Leaning your head against her chest, you inhaled the familiar scent of her sweat and her favorite lavender shampoo – a comforting mix that always made you feel safe.

"Feeling any better?" she asked softly, her fingers tracing lazy circles on your back, a silent massage that eased the tension knotting your muscles.

"Yeah," you sighed, a contented hum escaping your lips. "Thanks to you."

A comfortable silence settled between you, punctuated only by the rhythmic hum of the heating pad and the gentle rise and fall of Katie's chest. Reaching up, you brushed a stray curl from her forehead. "You're incredible, Katie," you whispered, the words thick with emotion.

Katie chuckled, a warm sound that vibrated against your chest. "Just being your girlfriend," she whispered back, squeezing you tighter.

She switched on the TV, finding a cheesy rom-com you both secretly loved. You spent the next few hours snuggled on the couch, the warmth of the heating pad and Katie's embrace chasing away the discomfort. Occasionally, Katie would pause the movie to refill your hot chocolate mug or whisper words of encouragement, reminding you of her unwavering support.

As the night wore on, the initial panic melted away, replaced by a comforting sense of security. Katie's presence was a constant source of warmth, both physically and emotionally. You drifted in and out of sleep, lulled by the sound of her breathing and the gentle hum of the heating pad.

Waking to the smell of bacon frying, you realized you must have fallen asleep on the couch. Katie appeared from the kitchen, a warm smile on her face and a plate piled high with pancakes in her hand.

"Hello again, sleepyhead," she said, placing the plate on the coffee table and handing you a steaming mug of tea. "Lunch in the sofa. Period edition. I'll clean everything up afterwards. Don't worry.”

You took a sip, the warmth spreading through you. This wasn't your ideal way to spend the day, but with Katie's love and care surrounding you, it felt strangely okay. As you took a bite of the fluffy pancake, a new realization dawned on you. Periods weren't so scary after all, not when you had someone like Katie by your side, reminding you that you were loved and supported, no matter what.

[mariacallous]

With Donald Trump threatening to retake the U.S. presidency next week in the face of Russia’s ongoing aggression in Ukraine, it’s time to take stock of a deeply unsettling fact. After years of investigations by U.S. government bodies from the Justice Department to the FBI to Congress, the American public has no idea if Russian President Vladimir Putin has “something” on Trump—in other words, some compromising information about the would-be 47th president’s past, or what the Russians call kompromat.

Eight years after the FBI first began probing Trump’s Russia connections in mid-2016, national security officials are still puzzled by the former U.S. president’s unrelenting deference to Putin, as well as the enduring mystery of Trump’s decades-old relationship with Russian and former Soviet investors and financiers, some of whom helped save his failing businesses years ago.

So we’re asking the same questions we were asking eight years ago. Is Trump some sort of Manchurian candidate—or in this case, perhaps a Muscovian candidate—controlled by or beholden to Moscow in ways that we don’t know and likely will never know? Or is Trump’s persistently fawning treatment of Putin mainly just a manifestation of his often-expressed admiration of autocrats around the world, including Chinese President Xi Jinping and ​​Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban?

Trump himself has long denied that there is any collusion between him and the Kremlin. But among key U.S. officials who were involved in these earlier investigations, there is no small amount of frustration over this disturbing question.

What has emerged from interviews in recent weeks is an idea of just how ugly and unresolved the disputes remain among the investigators, some of whom are kicking themselves for not going deeper in their probes back then. In many cases, former senior officials at the FBI and Justice Department are still blaming each other for falling short—especially when it comes to the investigation by former special counsel Robert Mueller of Russian election interference and ties between Trump officials and the Kremlin during the Trump administration.

“Here we are in 2024, and over the years since the special counsel started their work in 2017, all we have gotten is more questions, more evidence, more situations that point toward very serious questions about Donald Trump’s relationship with Russia and specifically with Vladimir Putin,” said Andrew McCabe, the former acting director of the FBI who first pushed for the Mueller probe, in a phone interview with Foreign Policy. “And none of those questions have ever been answered,” he added. “Likely because there’s never been a thorough and legitimate investigation of them.”

And that’s unlikely to change if Trump takes office on Jan. 20, 2025.

Russian interference in the November U.S. election—all apparently in support of Trump—is already more widespread and intense than in 2016, U.S. officials say. Deploying new methods such as deep fakes and paid-for news sources, Russia’s activities “are more sophisticated than in prior election cycles,” a senior official with the Office of the Director of National Intelligence told reporters in September.

According to the Washington Post, the official cited the use of artificial intelligence as well as “authentic U.S. voices” to “launder” Russian government propaganda and spread socially divisive narratives through major social media and fake websites posing as legitimate U.S. media organizations. Moscow is targeting U.S. swing states “to shape the outcome in favor of former president Donald Trump,” the newspaper said.

Perhaps the most crucial swing state that could decide the election is Pennsylvania, and on Oct. 25, U.S. officials announced that “Russian actors” were behind a widely circulated video falsely depicting mail-in ballots for Trump being destroyed in a critical county of that state—in an apparent effort to justify Trump’s regular rants about election fraud.

In late September, the U.S. Justice Department accused two employees of RT, the Kremlin’s media arm, of funneling nearly $10 million to a company that media outlets later identified as Tenet Media, a Tennessee-based company that has hosted right-wing pro-Trump commentators with millions of subscribers on YouTube and other social media platforms. The Biden administration also announced the seizure of 32 internet domains used in Russian government-directed foreign malign influence campaigns called “Doppelganger.”

According to Attorney General Merrick Garland, “Putin’s inner circle, including [First Deputy Chief of Staff of the Presidential Executive Office] Sergei Kiriyenko, directed Russian public relations companies to promote disinformation and state-sponsored narratives as part of a campaign to … secure Russia’s preferred outcome in the election.”

“In some respects, this payment of media sources to put out stories is even more brazen than some of the activities we investigated,” said Andrew Goldstein, a former senior Justice Department lawyer and the co-author of a new book titled Interference: The Inside Story of Trump, Russia, and the Mueller Investigation.

“Americans should be concerned about the fact that Russia interfered in a very substantial way in 2016 on Trump’s behalf, and they’re doing it again by every measure we’ve been able to see publicly,” Goldstein added. “People should be continuing to try to get the bottom of that.”

The most urgent issue, these former officials say, is what might happen if Trump gets elected and follows through on his promise to resolve the Ukraine war quickly. Trump has hinted that he will give Putin at least some of what the Russian president wants—in particular, the parts of Ukraine that he has conquered as well as a pledge to keep Ukraine out of NATO.

“On a foreign-policy level, that is clearly the biggest concern,” McCabe said. “His promise to end it [the war in Ukraine] in one day can only possibly end it one way, and that will be an absolute travesty that could spell the end of NATO, and on and on. There’s a million other things, though. He’s the only president to ever have repeated one-on-one unmonitored, unwitnessed interactions with Vladimir Putin who then gets up in front of the world and tells them he believes Putin over his own intelligence agency.”

Those conversations with Putin continued after Trump left the presidency, according to a new book by Washington Post journalist Bob Woodward, titled War. Woodward reported that Trump spoke to Putin as many as seven times after he left the presidency and that at one point, in 2024, Trump told a senior aide to leave the room at his mansion in Mar-a-Lago so “he could have what he said was a private phone call” with the Russian leader.

According to Goldstein, “given the difference in the candidates’ views of the war in Ukraine, there is an even greater incentive now for Russia to intervene, wanting Trump to win and not wanting [Democratic nominee and Vice President Kamala] Harris to win.”

Trump himself, asked to confirm the Woodward account of his alleged conversations with Putin since he left the White House during an interview with Bloomberg editor in chief John Micklethwait in mid-October, responded: “I don’t comment on that. … But I will tell you that if I did, it’s a smart thing. If I’m friendly with people, if I can have a relationship with people, that’s a good thing and not a bad thing in terms of a country.”

So what do we actually know about Trump’s ties to Russia? A great deal. But while there is a great deal of smoke, it’s still difficult to find any fire—that is, any kind of hard evidence of a tit-for-tat relationship that would cause Trump to side with Putin. The investigations simply didn’t go far enough to know if there is one.

What’s clear is that some three decades ago, when Trump’s businesses were buckling under failure after failure and repeatedly declaring bankruptcy—causing him to be toxic to U.S. banks—foreign money played a significant role in reviving his fortunes.

In particular, Trump benefited from investment by wealthy people from Russia and the former Soviet republics, some of them oligarchs linked to Putin. The overseas money came initially in the form of new real-estate partnerships and the purchase of numerous Trump condos—but Trump also benefited from help from the Bayrock Group, run by Tevfik Arif, a Kazakhstan-born former Soviet official who drew on unknown sources of money from the former Soviet republic; and Felix Sater, a Russian-born businessman who pleaded guilty in the 1990s to a massive stock-fraud scheme involving the Russian mafia. Some of the overseas banks and investment groups that Trump used also had alleged ties to the Kremlin and Russian money launderers linked to Putin, according to U.S. officials.

Trump’s own family has acknowledged his dependence on Russian money, without ever saying where in Russia it came from. In September 2008, at the “Bridging U.S. and Emerging Markets Real Estate” conference in New York, his eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., said: “In terms of high-end product influx into the United States, Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets. … We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia.”

Trump’s former longtime architect, the late Alan Lapidus, confirmed this in a 2018 interview with me, saying that in the aftermath of Trump’s earlier financial troubles, “he could not get anybody in the United States to lend him anything. It was all coming out of Russia. His involvement with Russia was deeper than he’s acknowledged.”

In the view of U.S. investigators, these historical connections to Russia looked suspicious and helped to explain why during the 2016 presidential campaign, some of the people in Trump’s orbit—including Trump’s son, daughter, and son-in-law—were contacted by at least 14 Russians at a time when it was clear that the Kremlin was interfering in the U.S. election in Trump’s favor. Parts of this relationship were hyped as open collusion by the so-called Steele dossier produced by a former British intelligence agent, Christopher Steele, which was later mostly debunked.

All those suspicions in turn led to the FBI probe and then the Mueller investigation, along with a massive bipartisan report from the Senate Intelligence Committee that identified a close associate of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort—Konstantin Kilimnik—as a Russian intelligence officer.

“Manafort’s high-level access and willingness to share information with individuals closely affiliated with the Russian intelligence services, particularly Kilimnik and associates of [Russian oligarch] Oleg Deripaska, represented a grave counterintelligence threat,” read the 2020 Senate report. The report also delved into Trump’s relationships with women in Moscow during his trips there starting in the mid-1990s.

But the Senate investigation was limited by partisan infighting and insufficient subpoena power, and the FBI and Justice Department never followed through fully as the narrowly focused Mueller probe got under way.

One key reason why we don’t know more about Trump’s ties to Russia appears to be that Trump and his lawyers aggressively interfered with the Justice Department investigation—and in particular, reports suggest that they pressured former deputy attorney general Rod Rosenstein, who was overseeing the Mueller probe.

Trump’s efforts to obstruct the investigation were extensively detailed in the Mueller report itself, which came out in April 2019. According to McCabe and others, Trump and his team were intent on ensuring that the president’s past financial ties to Russia did not become part of the probe, and they made that clear to Rosenstein, who was described in several accounts as rattled by the pressure and unsure what to do.

“I think Rod desperately didn’t want to get fired. I think Rod navigated a lot of those pressure situations with his first and strongest eye on self-preservation,” McCabe told me.

Some of these tactics were reported in a 2020 book by New York Times reporter Michael S. Schmidt, Donald Trump v. The United States: Inside the Struggle to Stop a President. Schmidt wrote that Rosenstein quietly curtailed the investigation by making it strictly about whether Trump or his campaign officials committed criminal offenses through colluding with Russia or by covering up such collusion. Apparently bowing to pressure from Rosenstein, Mueller dropped the original counterintelligence probe into Trump’s long-term business ties to Russia—in other words, ignoring any questions about what might have motivated Trump to favor or collude with Moscow.

McCabe said he was unaware that Rosenstein was doing this. “Had I known at the time that there would be no investigation of the counterintelligence concerns, I would have continued that work at the FBI,” he said.

Andrew Weissmann, another member of the Mueller team and a former FBI general counsel, also wrote in a 2020 book that fears of dismissal—and unrelenting pressure from the White House—had a lot to do with the limits on the investigation. Trump had already fired then-FBI Director James Comey, partly for pursuing the Russia probe, and behind the scenes, the president was threatening to get rid of Mueller as well, according to several news accounts as well as the final Mueller report.

In his book Where Law Ends: Inside the Mueller Investigation, Weissmann wrote that the Mueller team “was put on notice” that “a broad-based financial investigation might lead to our firing.” He wrote that at one point, Mueller told his investigators, “if the president were in the tank with Putin, ‘It would be about money’—that is, that Trump was motivated by money and his fawning behavior toward Putin could be explained by his seeking to make a buck in Russia. We all knew we had to dig deeper.”

They never did dig deeper, and even now, they are still arguing about why that never happened. Weissman blames Aaron Zebley, Mueller’s chief deputy and a co-author, with Goldstein, of Interference. Weissmann accused Zebley of fretting about retribution from Trump and the White House if the Mueller team dared, for example, to subpoena the president or his son Donald Trump Jr. as part of the inquiry. (They never did.) In the end, Weissmann wrote, the Mueller probe was doomed by its reluctance to fully examine Trump’s financial history and ties to Russia.

“The inability to chase down all financial leads, or to examine all crimes, gnawed at me, and still does,” Weissmann wrote. “Our investigation and report do not resolve those issues once and for all. But we, as a country, are entitled not to have to wonder what the facts would have revealed.”

In interviews with me in the past month, Zebley and Goldstein denied that they were ever directly pressured to narrow the investigation.

“There were definitely no red lines,” Zebley told me. “There was never any sort of decision not to examine something financial, or anything else, when there was cause to do so.” Nonetheless, those who worked with Mueller acknowledge that the special counsel was directed only to conduct a purely criminal investigation, dispensing with the counterintelligence component that McCabe wanted to pursue.

Rosenstein, who is now in private law practice, responded to a request for comment by indicating, in an email, that he did not wish to comment about the scope of the investigation. But he said that he “did what I thought was right and consistent with my oath to faithfully execute the duties of the office, which often angered Trump and some of his key allies.” Defenders of Rosenstein say he did his best to keep the investigation going—even as he was under constant threat of being fired by Trump.

“He was incredibly concerned about what Trump might be up to from both the counterintelligence and the criminal side,” said McCabe, who confirmed an earlier report that at several points during the probe, Rosenstein even offered to wear a wire to the White House to help the investigation into Trump. “That really says it all. Rod is a sphinx. He is a survivor, a guy who is capable one day of writing the memo that justifies the firing of Jim Comey and two days later asking me for Comey’s cell phone number because he desperately wanted to talk to him to get his advice on what to do.”

Early on, Rosenstein did defy Trump by appointing Mueller as special counsel, leading to angry reactions by the president and his GOP defenders, who called the probe a “witch hunt.” But in the end, Rosenstein also appeared to bow to the Trump administration’s wishes by endorsing Attorney General Robert Barr’s controversial statement on March 24, 2019—after the Mueller report was completed but before it was released the following month—saying that the Mueller team had found no evidence of crimes by the president.

As the journalist Jeffrey Toobin described it in his book True Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Investigation of Donald Trump, Barr’s statement “was an obvious and unjustified act of sabotage against Mueller and an extraordinary bequest to the president.”

It is true that the 22-month investigation led by Mueller did not find sufficient evidence to justify criminal charges that the Trump campaign coordinated with Moscow to tip the election, nor that Trump tried to cover up his own role. But the Mueller investigators were also explicit in saying that enough evidence existed to make it impossible for them to exonerate Trump.

That part of their conclusion was ignored by Barr and Rosenstein. Contradicting Trump’s claims that Russian interference on his behalf was a “hoax,” the Mueller report concluded that Russian interference was “sweeping and systematic” and “violated U.S. criminal law,” resulting in the indictment of at least 26 Russian citizens and three Russian organizations.

The Trump White House sought to quash other inquiries into his past as well. In 2019, when the House Financial Services Committee tried to subpoena Deutsche Bank’s records on Trump, the president sued and ultimately won a decision from the Trump-aligned Supreme Court saying the subpoena was not justified. Deutsche Bank, one of the few major banks that would still lend to Trump after his financial debacles, has been heavily fined by U.S. and U.K. regulators for sham trades that could have been used to launder billions of dollars out of Russia.

Most of these former officials believe that a second Trump term would certainly involve fresh threats of dismissal against any Justice Department or FBI officials who don’t fall into line, whether on Russia or Trump’s threats to use the Justice Department to go after his domestic political enemies.

“One thing we learned about Donald Trump in our investigation: What you see is what you get,” Zebley said. “There aren’t two Donald Trumps. If he says he’s going to behave in a particular way, that’s what he’s going to do.”

McCabe agreed. “He’s said it repeatedly many different ways,” he said. “He’s committed to this revenge tour. He’s committed to using the lever of power for his own purposes, whatever those might be, whether lawful or unlawful, now cloaked with immunity from the Supreme Court.” (In a historic but controversial July 1 decision, the Supreme Court granted Trump and future presidents broad immunity from prosecution.)

And that means the FBI and Justice Department will likely go along with whatever a newly elected President Trump wants, McCabe added. “The question is whether people will break within my old organization or the [Justice] Department. Of course they will. At some point they will.”

During all this time, Trump has consistently defended Putin—or at least refused to criticize him. This goes back to that infamous moment at their first formal summit in Helsinki in July 2018, when Trump took Putin’s point of view after he was asked whether he believed the Russian president or his own intelligence agencies about the allegations of Russian meddling in the 2016 U.S. election (which have since been amply documented).

“President Putin says it’s not Russia” that is meddling, Trump replied. “I don’t see any reason why it would be.” Later, in November of that year, when his own U.N. ambassador, Nikki Haley, condemned Putin’s violent intervention in Ukraine after Russian ships fired upon, wounded, and seized Ukrainian sailors—Haley called it “yet another reckless Russian escalation”—the then-U.S. president also declined to criticize Putin personally.

Instead, Trump appeared to blame both sides. “Either way, we don’t like what’s happening, and hopefully, it will get straightened out,” Trump said.

Even on the day of Putin’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine four years later, Trump actually praised the Russian leader for his aggression. “I said, ‘This is genius.’ Putin declares a big portion of the Ukraine … as independent. Oh, that’s wonderful,” Trump told a right-wing radio program on Feb. 22, 2022.

And this September, asked at his only debate with Harris whether he wanted Ukraine to win, Trump answered simply: “I want the war to stop.”

Even Trump’s former director of national intelligence, Dan Coats—also a former conservative congressman—admitted that he was worried by the former president’s consistently positive views of the Russian dictator. “His reaching out and never saying anything bad about Putin. For me … it’s scary,” Coats told Woodward.

It is entirely possible, of course, that Trump’s fawning attitude toward Putin is simply another manifestation of his career-long habit of praising people who flatter him and buy his products, no matter what else they might have done, as well as his open admiration for “strong” autocrats.

By his own admission, Trump tends to favor anyone who invests in his businesses, including foreigners. As he said about the Saudis at a campaign rally in 2015: “Saudi Arabia, I get along with all of them. They buy apartments from me. They spend $40 million, $50 million. Am I supposed to dislike them?”

It was hardly a surprise that even after the CIA blamed Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman for the 2018 murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi, Trump appeared to absolve the crown prince as readily as he often does Putin. In a statement, Trump quoted Saudi officials as describing Khashoggi as an “enemy of the state” and said only, “The world is a very dangerous place!”

“The problem with every one of these things is that there is, in the background, a reasonable or nonnefarious explanation,” said McCabe. “Like the massive inflow of Russian money buying up these high-priced condos, that’s also happening all over in places with safe currency, so it’s hard to disaggregate. Is it throwing him [Trump] a financial lifeline, or is it just him benefiting from this trend in high-end real estate?”

In other words, is Trump just a narcissistic former businessman who caters to his investors—some of whom may now represent the United States’ rivals and adversaries? Or is the explanation far more nefarious than that?

We may never know. And if Trump is elected, many new questions are likely to emerge.

“How on earth can we share human source-derived intelligence about Russia with a president who we think might have an inappropriate relationship with Russia?” said McCabe. “How do you do that without putting those people’s lives in jeopardy? But as president, he has the right to access any of that information. So how do we manage the potential risk there?”

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Audrey McCabe at MMFA:

Turning Point Action senior director and Arizona state Rep. Austin Smith was named last week in a complaint alleging that he forged dozens of signatures, names, and addresses on his petitions to qualify for the state’s GOP primary ballot in July, quickly sparking a scandal that led the candidate to drop out of the race and resign from his position at TP Action just days later. Yet, for all of right-wing media’s handwringing about voter fraud in recent election cycles, a Media Matters analysis found no mentions of those allegations between April 15-23 on Fox News, One America News, and Newsmax — conservative cable outlets that have repeatedly peddled and fixated on debunked instances of supposed voter fraud.

An Arizona state representative and Turning Point Action official has been accused of forging signatures on a ballot qualification petition

According to an April 15 complaint filed by one of Smith’s constituents in state Superior Court, the first-term lawmaker “personally circulated multiple petition sheets bearing what appear to be forged voter signatures” in handwriting that bore a “striking resemblance” to his own. Additionally, several purported signers provided declarations claiming that they never signed Smith’s petitions. 

In a��statement posted on X (formerly Twitter) on April 18, Smith refuted the allegations and announced that he would withdraw his candidacy to avoid the legal fees required to defend himself in court. (That same day, Smith resigned from his position at Turning Point Action.) He also claimed that the complaint was part of a “coordinated attack” and a “well-organized effort.” But as Arizona Republic columnist Laurie Roberts noted, “If, in fact, this was some Democratic conspiracy to chase an innocent man from the Legislature, it’s curious that Smith wouldn’t defend himself. More curious still is the fact that not a single Republican legislator has called for his resignation in light of his refusal to answer allegations of election fraud.” Smith repeatedly claimed that the 2020 election was stolen from former President Donald Trump, and on the eve of the January 6, 2021, insurrection — in a now-deleted post on X — Smith reportedly urged his followers to not “get comfortable” and “fight like hell.” 

In a recent post, Smith promoted a colleague running against Maricopa County Recorder Stephen Richer, a Republican official scorned by pro-Trump figures for pushing back on false election fraud narratives in his county. 

The same right-wing media outlets who bellyache about supposed "voter fraud" are silent that a TPUSA-affiliated Turning Point Action senior director and Arizona State Rep. Austin Smith (R) forged signatures to get on the ballot.

[possibilistfanfiction]

world cup goals! footy au? Literally anything though, thank youuuuuu

[shoutout to katie mccabe & also everyone's suits. love this wc]

//

it took four years too long, but finally — finally — you get to watch ava in a world cup. you're, of course, the face of the nation, the captain, all the hopes of a repeat resting on your shoulders. this time, it feels light; it feels like a gift, to have people believe in you — to have people think you deserve their faith. you know, without a doubt, that you will play the best football you possibly can. when you answer ava's facetime just before she gets on the bus — so she can show you how she's opted to wear the team suit, perfectly tailored, a deep navy, without a shirt underneath it, mismatched earrings and an opal drop chain you'd gotten her a few months ago, because you saw it and knew she would love it — and she smiles, you know that you already have the faith of the most important person in the world.

when you watch from the conference room your team has reserved, your opening match not for two days still, but it counts as film studies, really, all things considered — lilith rolls her eyes but is currently curled up on the couch next to you in an oversized hoodie that smells suspiciously like camila's perfume — it fills your chest so immensely you don't know how you keep breathing for a moment. ava jumps the line with a grin, her socks slipping low and one side of her shorts already pulled up and tucked into her compression shorts, and you think you might burst.

the commentators mention her missed world cup last cycle, but they don't have much time to dwell on it because, only a few minutes in, ava brushes hair out of her face and lifts her hand, taking the first corner of the game. lilith rolls her eyes before it even happen, and joy — amusing, overwhelming happiness — fills you when ava hits a perfect olympico, one of her favorite set pieces to goof around with on the training ground. she's laughing, when her team runs over, when she turns to the fans screaming her name, when she holds up her hands in the shape of a heart to the camera.

'god, she's so insufferable,' lilith grumbles.

'are you grumpy because you haven't scored an olympico?'

'we haven't even played yet, beatrice.'

you shrug, reveling in ava's bright play all up and down the left side after the restart, the way she tracks back and holds the ball patiently, the exuberance and fearlessness of some of her overlapping runs. 'worried you won't win the golden boot this time around?'

'just about as worried as you are that you won't win the golden ball.'

ava whiffs — badly — on a cross and just accepts her teammates' good natured teasing, a playful shove to the shoulder as they gather themselves defensively before the goal kick. you wait a beat and then lilith giggles, literally giggles, and you can't help the laughter either.

'i am begging the football gods to show me a replay of that,' she says, already on twitter to see if anyone posted about it.

ava plays the rest of her pre-planned sixty minutes with the same fervor — cheerful, creative, fun. she nets another goal and lends an assist before she's subbed out, gets in two nutmegs, which you know she secretly enjoyed the most. she is a formidable opponent, and you've learned, by now, it's because of how she plays: light, everywhere.

she facetimes you after her presser, just as you're settling into bed. she looks so soft in a team-issued crew neck and tired, content eyes, her hair still damp from her post-game shower.

'did you enjoy that first goal?'

'well, that's one way to kick off your world cup tenure.'

she grins. 'you thought it was sexy.'

'unfortunately, i think just about everything you do is sexy.'

ava pouts. 'come on, bea. an olympico? in my first world cup match ever? please admit you loved it.'

'lilith hated it.'

ava barks a laugh, grins with teeth.

'and, of course, darling. i loved it. i love watching you play.'

she softens, immediately. you've gotten spoiled, getting to play club with her for so many years — there are few nights spent apart, and those are mostly because of national team camps or, a few rare occasions, when one of you has an overnight stay in the hospital following a procedure. you wish you could fall asleep with her now, you wish you could help calm her buzzing energy and that she could keep you warm.

as it is, though, you just lie down and listen to her talk about the ins and outs of the defensive formation they had to break down, the pivot sixes they're going to play against the next team in their group — 'to practice, honestly, for when we play you, which i shouldn't be telling you but whatever, you're so smart anyway. good luck to us.' — and how her lats have been so tight after training but felt better during pt tonight.

'hey,' she says, about to get off the bus, 'i'm going to let you go. you keep closing your eyes for longer and longer. you should get some sleep.'

you hum, fight to keep your eyes open just a little longer. 'i love watching you play.'

her mouth quirks up. 'jogo bonito, right?'

you want to kiss her; you will, just as soon as you can. 'jogo bonito, yes.'

'goodnight, bea.'

'make sure you take your pain meds before bed, and —'

'i know, babe,' she says, soft and gentle. 'i got it. thank you for reminding me.'

'always.'

'i love you,' she says.

'i love you too.'

'i'm gonna dream of you in your suit tonight.' ava laughs, waves, and hangs up.

you toss and turn a few minutes before you admit defeat and google ava silva world cup suit and stare at pictures online for a few minutes, and then put your phone aside on the charging pad and, with quite the image in your mind, fall fast asleep.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

It's hard to tell when Frankie Boyle means anything, but I think he may have borderline announced a retirement from stand-up in his latest mailing list message. As well as a reminder of his book, to which I am looking forward, the novel he did last year was brilliant. Better than I'd expected, to be honest, an actually good book and not just good for a comedian who's not an actual writer.

I hope he films Lap of Shame before shuffling off to cycle in parks or whatever.

The letter also reminded me of his podcast, which I subscribed to when it first came out a couple of months ago but them didn't actually listen to because I was only interested in John Robins(/Elis James). Might go back to it now that I'm almost done the Radio X show though. I like Susie McCabe a lot. And found Christopher MacArthur-Boyd's stand-up special fairly amusing.

Anyway, the main takeaway from that email is I've been calling on Frankie Boyle's spirit in every fight I've been in for years, it's nice to finally be able to start doing it with permission.

[goalhofer]

2024 olympics Canada roster

Archery

Eric Peters (Kitchener, Ontario)

Virginie Chénier (Montreal, Quebec)

Athletics

Eliezer Adjibi (Ottawa, Ontario)

Duan Asemota (Ajax, Ontario)

Aaron Brown (Toronto, Ontario)

Andre De Grasse (Markham, Ontario)

Brendon Rodney (Brampton, Ontario)

Christopher Morales (York, Ontario)

Marco Arop (Edmonton, Alberta)

Kieran Lumb (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Charles Philibert-Thiboutot (Quebec, Quebec)

Mohammed Ahmed (St. Catherines, Ontario)

Ben Flanagan (Kitchener, Ontario)

Thomas Fafard (Repentigny, Quebec)

Craig Thorne (Quispamsis, New Brunswick)

Jean-Simon Desgagnés (Quebec, Quebec)

Jerome Blake (Burnaby, British Columbia)

Cameron Levins (Courtenay, British Columbia)

Rory Linkletter (Flagstaff, Arizona)

Evan Dunfee (Richmond, British Columbia)

Rowan Hamilton (Chilliwack, British Columbia)

Ethan Katzberg (Kamloops, British Columbia)

Adam Keenan (Victoria, British Columbia)

Damian Warner (London, Ontario)

Marie-Éloïse Leclair (Montreal, Quebec)

Sade McCreath-Tardiel (Toronto, Ontario)

Jasneet Nijjar (Surrey, British Columbia)

Audrey Leduc (Gatineau, Quebec)

Jacqueline Madogo (Ottawa, Ontario)

Lauren Gale (Ottawa, Ontario)

Zoe Sherar (Toronto, Ontario)

Jazz Shukla (Toronto, Ontario)

Kate Current (Cobourg, Ontario)

Simone Plourde (Montreal, Quebec)

Lucia Stafford (Toronto, Ontario)

Briana Scott (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Regan Yee (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Mariam Abdul-Rashid (Oshawa, Ontario)

Michelle Harrison (Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

Savannah Sutherland (Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

Ceili McCabe (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Malindi Elmore (Kelowna, British Columbia)

Crystal Emmanuel-Ahye (Toronto, Ontario)

Kyra Constantine (Brampton, Ontario)

Aiyanna Stiverne (Laval, Quebec)

Olivia Lundman (Nanaimo, British Columbia)

Camryn Rogers (Richmond, British Columbia)

Anicka Newell (Albuquerque, New Mexico)

Alysha Newman (London, Ontario)

Sarah Mitton (Queens Municipality, Nova Scotia)

Badminton

Brian Yang (Richmond Hill, Ontario)

Adam Dong (Burlington, Ontario)

Nyl Yakura (Toronto, Ontario)

Michelle Li (Markham, Ontario)

Basketball

Luguentz Dort (Montreal, Quebec)

Nickeil Alexander-Walker (Vaughan, Ontario)

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (Hamilton, Ontario)

Melvin Ejim (Rocky View County, Alberta)

Jamal Murray (Orangeville, Ontario)

Dwight Powell (Toronto, Ontario)

Trey Lyles (Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

R.A. Barrett; Jr. (Mississauga, Ontario)

Kelly Olynyk (Kamloops, British Columbia)

Andrew Nembhard (Vaughan, Ontario)

Dillon Brooks (Mississauga, Ontario)

Khem Birch (Russell Township, Ontario)

Shay Colley (Brampton, Ontario)

Samantha Hill (Toronto, Ontario)

Kia Nurse (Hamilton, Ontario)

Bridget Carleton (Chatham-Kent, Ontario)

Cassandre Prosper (Ottawa, Ontario)

Yvonne Ejim (Rocky View County, Alberta)

Natalie Achonwa (Guelph, Ontario)

Syla Swords (Sudbury, Ontario)

Kayla Alexander (Milton, Ontario)

Laeticia Amihere (Mississauga, Ontario)

Nirra Fields (Montreal, Quebec)

Aaliyah Edwards (Kingston, Ontario)

Kacie Bosch (Lethbridge, Alberta)

Paige Crozon (Humboldt, Saskatchewan)

Katherine Plouffe (Edmonton, Alberta)

Michelle Plouffe (Edmonton, Alberta)

Boxing

Wyatt Sanford (Montreal, Quebec)

Tammara Thibeault (Saint-Georges, Quebec)

Breakdancing

Phil Kim (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Canoeing

Alex Baldoni (Pau, France)

Connor Fitzpatrick (Dartmouth, Nova Scotia)

Laurent Lavigne (Trois-Rivières, Quebec)

Nicholas Matveev (Toronto, Ontario)

Simon McTavish (Sydney, Australia)

Pierre-Luc Poulin (Quebec, Quebec)

Lois Betteridge (Ottawa, Ontario)

Sophia Jensen (Chelsea, Quebec)

Sloan MacKenzie (Halifax, Nova Scotia)

Katie Vincent (Mississauga, Ontario)

Michelle Russell (Halifax Municipality, Nova Scotia)

Toshka Besharah-Hrebacka (Ottawa, Ontario)

Natalie Davison (Ottawa, Ontario)

Riley Melanson (Dartmouth, Nova Scotia)

Courtney Stott (Pickering, Ontario)

Cycling

Derek Gee (Ottawa, Ontario)

Michael Woods (Toronto, Ontario)

Tyler Rorke (Wilmot Township, Ontario)

Nick Wammes (Chatham-Kent, Ontario)

James Hedgcock (Hamilton, Ontario)

Dylan Bibic (Mississauga, Ontario)

Michael Foley (Milton, Ontario)

Mathis Guillemette (Trois-Rivières, Quebec)

Carson Mattern (Hamilton, Ontario)

Gunnar Holmgren (Oro-Medonte Township, Ontario)

Jeffrey Whaley (L'Assomption, Quebec)

Olivia Baril (Rouyn-Noranda, Quebec)

Alison Jackson (Vermilion, Alberta)

Lauriane Genest (Montreal, Quebec)

Kelsey Mitchell (Strathcona County, Alberta)

Sarah Orban (Calgary, Alberta)

Erin Attwell (Victoria, British Columbia)

Ariane Bonhomme (Gatineau, Quebec)

Maggie Coles-Lyster (Maple Ridge, British Columbia)

Sarah Van Dam (Victoria, British Columbia)

Isabella Holmgren (Oro-Medonte Township, Ontario)

Molly Simpson (Red Deer, Alberta)

Diving

Rylan Wiens (Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

Nathan Zsombor-Murray (Pointe-Claire, Quebec)

Margo Erlam (Calgary, Alberta)

Caeli McKay (Montreal, Quebec)

Kate Miller (Ottawa, Ontario)

Equestrian

Chris Van Martels (Chatham-Kent, Ontario)

Karl Slezak (Tottenham, Ontario)

Mike Winter (Montreal, Quebec)

Mario Deslauriers (Venise-En-Quebec, Quebec)

Camille Carier-Bergeron (Laval, Quebec)

Naïma Laliberté-Moreira (Montreal, Quebec)

Jessica Phoenix (Uxbridge Township, Ontario)

Erynn Ballard (Caledon, Ontario)

Amy Millar (Perth, Ontario)

Fencing

Nicholas Zhang (Richmond, British Columbia)

Blake Broszus (San José, California)

Daniel Gu (Edmonton, Alberta)

Maximilien Van Haaster (Montreal, Quebec)

Fares Arfa (Laval, Quebec)

François Cauchon (Montreal, Quebec)

Shaul Gordon (Richmond, British Columbia)

Ruien Xiao (Markham, Ontario)

Jessica Guo (Toronto, Ontario)

Eleanor Harvey (Hamilton, Ontario)

Yunjia Zhang (Toronto, Ontario)

Pamela Brind'Amour (Sainte-Martine, Quebec)

Golf

Corey Connors (Jupiter, Florida)

Nick Taylor (Abbotsford, British Columbia)

Brooke Henderson (Naples, Florida)

Alena Sharp (Phoenix, Arizona)

Gymnastics

Zachary Clay (Chilliwack, British Columbia)

René Cournoyer (Repentigny, Quebec)

Félix Dolci (Saint-Eustache, Quebec)

William Émard (Laval, Quebec)

Samuel Zakutney (Montreal, Quebec)

Elsabeth Black (Halifax, Nova Scotia)

Shallon Olsen (Tuscaloosa, Alabama)

Cassie Lee (Toronto, Ontario)

Ava Stewart (Bowmanville, Ontario)

Aurélie Tran (Repentigny, Quebec)

Sophiane Méthot (Varennes, Quebec)

Judo

Arthur Margelidon (Montreal, Quebec)

François Gauthier-Drapeau (Alma, Quebec)

Shady Elnahas (Toronto, Ontario)

Ana Portuondo (La Prairie, Quebec)

Kelly Deguchi (Lethbridge, Alberta)

Christina Deguchi (Lethbridge, Alberta)

Catherine Beauchemin-Pinard (Saint-Hubert, Quebec)

Rowing

Jennifer Casson (Victoria, British Columbia)

Jill Moffatt (Victoria, British Columbia)

Abby Dent (Kenora, Ontario)

Caileigh Filmer (Saanich, British Columbia)

Kasia Gruchalla-Wesierski (Calgary, Alberta)

Maya Meschkuleit (Mississauga, Ontario)

Sydney Paine (Toronto, Ontario)

Jessica Sevick (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Kristina Walker (Frontenac Islands Township, Ontario)

Avalon Wasteneys (Victoria, British Columbia)

Kristen Kit (St. Catherines, Ontario)

Rugby

Caroline Crossley (New Westminster, British Columbia)

Olivia Apps (Victoria, British Columbia)

Alysha Corrigan (Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island)

Asia Hogan-Rochester (Toronto, Ontario)

Chloe Daniels (Langford, British Columbia)

Charity Williams (Victoria, British Columbia)

Florence Symonds (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Carissa Norsten (Waldheim, Saskatchewan)

Krissy Scurfield (Canmore, Alberta)

Fancy Bermudez (Edmonton, Alberta)

Piper Logan (Calgary, Alberta)

Keyara Wardley (Victoria, British Columbia)

Sailing

Justin Barnes (Pickering, Ontario)

Will Jones (Hamilton, Ontario)

Sarah Douglas (Toronto, Ontario)

Emily Bugeja (North Vancouver, British Columbia)

Antonia Lewin-LaFrance (Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia)

Georgia Lewin-LaFrance (Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia)

Shooting

Tye Ikeda (Calgary, Alberta)

Michele Esercitato (Calgary, Alberta)

Shannon Westlake (Georgina, Ontario)

Skateboarding

Cordano Russell (Carlsbad, California)

Matt Berger (Huntington Beach, California)

Ryan Decenzo (Delta, British Columbia)

Fay De Fazio-Ebert (Toronto, Ontario)

Soccer

Kailen Sheridan (Whitby, Ontario)

Gabrielle Carle (Lévis, Quebec)

Kadeisha Buchanan (Brampton, Ontario)

Evelyne Viens (L'Ancienne-Lorette, Quebec)

Rebecca Quinn (Toronto, Ontario)

Cloé Lacasse (Sudbury, Ontario)

Julia Grosso (Burnaby, British Columbia)

Jayde Riviere (Markham, Ontario)

Jordyn Huitema (Chilliwack, British Columbia)

Ashley Lawrence (Toronto, Ontario)

Adriana Leon (King Township, Ontario)

Jade Rose (Markham, Ontario)

Simi Awujo (Atlanta, Georgia)

Vanessa Gilles (Châteauguay, Quebec)

Nichelle Prince (Ajax, Ontario)

Janine Beckie (Douglas County, Colorado)

Jessie Fleming (London, Ontario)

Sabrina D'Angelo (Welland, Ontario)

Shelina Zadorsky (London, Ontario)

Surfing

Sanoa Dempfle-Olin (Tofino, British Columbia)

Swimming

Josh Liendo-Edwards (Toronto, Ontario)

Yuri Kisil (Calgary, Alberta)

Javier Acevedo (Toronto, Ontario)

Blake Tierney (Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

Ilya Kharun (Las Vegas, Nevada)

Finlay Knox (Okotoks, Alberta)

Tristan Jankovics (Puslinch Township, Ontario)

Alex Axon (Newmarket, Ontario)

Jeremy Bagshaw (Victoria, British Columbia)

Patrick Hussey (Beaconsfield, Quebec)

Lorne Wigginton (Calgary, Alberta)

Apollo Hess (Lethbridge, Alberta)

Audrey Lamothe (Montreal, Quebec)

Jacqueline Simoneau (Saint-Laurent, Quebec)

Scarlett Finn (Toronto, Ontario)

Joannie Newman (Grande Prairie, Alberta)

Raphaelle Plante (Quebec City, Quebec)

Kenzie Priddell (Regina, Saskatchewan)

Claire Scheffel (Brantford, Ontario)

Florence Tremblay (Rimouski, Quebec)

Taylor Ruck (Scottsdale, Arizona)

Maggie MacNeil (London, Ontario)

Mary-Sophie Harvey (Trois-Rivières, Quebec)

Summer McIntosh (Toronto, Ontario)

Kylie Masse (Windsor, Ontario)

Ingrid Wilm (Calgary, Alberta)

Regan Rathwell (Ottawa, Ontario)

Sophie Angus (Toronto, Ontario)

Sydney Pickrem (Dunedin, Florida)

Kelsey Wog (Winnipeg, Manitoba)

Rebecca Smith (Red Deer, Alberta)

Ella Jansen (Burlington, Ontario)

Penny Oleksiak (Toronto, Ontario)

Brooklyn Douthwright (Riverview, New Brunswick)

Julie Brousseau (Ottawa, Ontario)

Emma O'Croinin (Edmonton, Alberta)

Emma Finlin (Edmonton, Alberta)

Table tennis

Edward Ly (Lachine, Quebec)

Eugene Wang (Aurora, Ontario)

Jeremy Hazin (Richmond Hill, Ontario)

Mo Zhang (Vancouver, British Columbia)

Taekwondo

Josipa Kafadar (Burnaby, British Columbia)

Skylar Park (Winnipeg, Manitoba)

Tennis

Félix Auger-Aliassime (Monte Carlo, Monaco)

Miloš Raonić (Monte Carlo, Monaco)

Bianca Andreescu (Vaughan, Ontario)

Leylah Fernandez (Boynton Beach, Florida)

Gaby Dabrowski (Ottawa, Ontario)

Triathlon

Tyler Mislawchuk (Macdonald Municipality, Manitoba)

Claude Paquet (Port-Cartier, Quebec)

Emy Legault (Montreal, Quebec)

Volleyball

Daniel Dearing (Toronto, Ontario)

Sammy Schachter (Richmond Hill, Ontario)

Luke Herr (Winnipeg, Manitoba)

Nick Hoag (Sherbrooke, Quebec)

Brodie Hofer (Langley, British Columbia)

Danny Demyanenko (Toronto, Ontario)

Stephen Maar (Aurora, Ontario)

Brett Walsh (Calgary, Alberta)

Xander Ketrzynski (Toronto, Ontario)

Lucas Van Berkel (Edmonton, Alberta)

Arthur Szwarc (Toronto, Ontario)

Justin Lui (Pickering, Ontario)

Fynn McCarthy (Lake Country Municipality, British Columbia)

Eric Loeppky (Steinbach, Manitoba)

Melissa Humaña-Paredes (Toronto, Ontario)

Brandie Wilkerson (Toronto, Ontario)

Heather Bansley (Toronto, Ontario)

Sophie Bukovec (Toronto, Ontario)

Water polo

Jessica Gaudreault (Ottawa, Ontario)

Rae Lekness (Calgary, Alberta)

Axelle Crevier (Montreal, Quebec)

Emma Wright (Whitby, Ontario)

Marilia Mimides (Toronto, Ontario)

Blaire McDowell (Fernie, British Columbia)

Verica Bakoc (Toronto, Ontario)

Elyse Lemay-Lavoie (Montreal, Quebec)

Hayley McKelvey (Delta, British Columbia)

Serena Browne (Montreal, Quebec)

Kindred Paul (Spruce Grove, Alberta)

Shae La Roche (Winnipeg, Manitoba)

Clara Vulpisi (Montreal, Quebec)

Weightlifting

Boady Santavy (Sarnia, Ontario)

Maude Charron (Rimouski, Quebec)

Wrestling

Alex Moore (Montreal, Quebec)

Amar Dhesi (Surrey, British Columbia)

Hannah Taylor (Cornwall, Prince Edward Island)

Ana Godinez (Burnaby, British Columbia)

Linda Morais (Tecumseh, Ontario)

Justina Di Stasio (Coquitlam, British Columbia)

[frasermints]

Jake McCabe - husband, father, & midwestern?? That man is ALWAYS prepared

you are seriously overestimating midwestern men and their relation to the human menstrual cycle here show that man a diva cup and he'll flinch like you just took a cattle prod to his perineum

[mccabes-cycles]

Going Online

Just trying to set-up E-Commerce for our family-run business. We have been in the cycling trade for over 100 years and keep a good range of bikes, parts, and accessories.

Now we want to make those bikes, parts, and accessories more accessible to the wider world, starting with the rest of UK and then further afield! Just one small step at a time.

We'd appreciate it if you could give our site a visit and hit us up on our socials on instagram and facebook.

[tallmantall]

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – #Parents See Own Health Spiral As Their Kids’ #MentalIllnesses Worsen

by Megan Craig, M.Sc. If you or someone you know may be experiencing a #mentalhealthcrisis, contact the #988Suicide&CrisisLifeline by dialing "#988," or the #CrisisTextLine by texting "HOME" to 741741. After her #teenage daughter attempted #suicide and began to cycle through emergency rooms and #mentalhealthprograms during the past three years, Sarah Delarosa noticed her own health also declined. She suffered from mini strokes and stomach bleeding, the mother of four in Corpus Christi, Texas, said. To make things worse, her daughter's failing behavioral and #mentalhealth caused Delarosa to miss hours from her job as a home health aide, losing out on income needed to support her family. "Access to help, when it's needed, it's not available," said Delarosa, about the #hopelessness she felt as she sought support for Amanda, 16, who has been diagnosed with #bipolardisorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Amanda has at times lashed out in anger or shattered light bulbs and used the broken glass to cut herself. Delarosa often feels overwhelmed, and she has noticed her youngest son acting out. "Now we have a whole family that needs help," she said. A national shortage of #mentalhealthcareproviders, and the search for affordable care, has exacerbated strain on parents, often the primary caregivers who maintain the health and well-being of their children. Their day-to-day struggle has led to its own health crisis, say #psychologists, researchers, and advocates for families. As #parents navigate the #mentalhealth care system's shortcomings, #stress can start to take a physical and #mentalhealth toll that disrupts their ability to continue providing care, said Christine Crawford, the associate medical director at the #NationalAllianceonMentalIllness, an advocacy group that helps families find care. #Parents pour their energy into helping their #kids, often at the expense of their own health, Crawford said. "When you are worrying about whether or not your #child is going to survive the day, you are constantly living on edge," she said. "Your fight-or-flight is constantly activated." And the number of parents in crisis is greater than it seems. Recent reports from the #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention, the surgeon general's office, and medical providers all show an alarming number of #kids in the U.S. are experiencing severe #mentalhealthchallenges. About 40% of U.S. #parents with #children younger than 18 say they are extremely or very worried their #children might struggle with #anxiety or #depression at some point, according to a January study from the Pew Research Center. Evidence-based therapies to address a child's #mentalhealth should include the #parents, say researchers and #pediatric #mentalhealthspecialists. But the focus on the adult caregivers and their anxiety and stress too often falls short. For example, parent-child interaction therapy coaches parents to manage their young child's #behavior to prevent more severe problems in the child later on. While this may help the #child, it doesn't directly support the parent's health. "I have so many parents sit across from me on the couch and cry," said Danielle Martinez, a #behavioralhealthspecialist at Driscoll Children's Hospital in Corpus Christi. The hospital is creating peer support groups, to launch by the fall, for family members whose #children are under the facility's care. "They felt so alone, felt like bad parents, felt like giving up," Martinez said, "and then felt guilty for wanting to give up." When the parent's mental and physical health deteriorates, it complicates their ability to prevent the child's condition from getting worse, said Mary Ann McCabe, a member of the board of directors at the #AmericanPsychologicalAssociation, an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine, and a psychologist in independent clinical practice. Parents are a kid's most important resource and need to be a concern, she said. Delarosa said many residential treatment centers cited a shortage of providers in refusing to admit her daughter. Amanda, who is covered through Medicaid, would be on weeks-long waiting lists while she "spiraled out of control," running away from home and disappearing for days, said her mom. In April, Amanda was admitted to an inpatient residential treatment facility nearly 200 miles away, in San Marcos, Texas. With Amanda away, Delarosa said, she had a "chance to breathe," but the reprieve would be temporary. She wants to see a #therapist but hasn't had time amid the demands of caring for Amanda and her youngest #child, a son. Before Amanda left for treatment, her 7-year-old brother started cussing, throwing and breaking objects in the home, and saying things like he wished he weren’t alive, though his #behaviors settled down while his sister was away. Other #parents also said they are feeling the strain on their mental and physical health. "The #children are in crisis. But the families are also in crisis," said Robin Gurwitch, a professor in psychiatry and #behavioral sciences at Duke University. "They are struggling to figure out how best to help their #children in a system that doesn't come with a manual." Brandon Masters, a #middleschool principal in San Antonio, developed a rash on the back of his arms and neck last year that he says his #doctor told him was connected to #stress. Even though he is insured through his job, Masters estimates he paid about $22,000 last year on care for his #teenage son Braylon, who spent 60 days in residential treatment centers in Texas and California following a diagnosis of #bipolardisorder. Braylon spent an additional month in juvenile detention later in 2022 after he bit his dad and brandished a knife. So far this year, Braylon, now 17, has attempted #suicide twice, but Masters has been unable to find a residential treatment center he can afford and that will admit Braylon. "There is this huge wave of #anxiety that comes over me that makes it difficult to be around him," Masters said. Anne Grady's 20-year-old son has autism, severe #mooddisorder, developmental delays, and other conditions. For nearly 17 years he has been on a Texas waiting list to receive full-time care. Grady, who lives in a suburb of Austin, Texas, developed a tumor in her salivary glands and temporary facial paralysis, which added to the #stress she faced navigating care for her son. "It's mentally exhausting for families," Grady said. The lack of care is "punishing the #kids and punishing for families," she said. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Medicaid is the state-federal program that pays medical and other health-related bills for low-income and disabled people. Yet while many state Medicaid programs pay for family therapy and parenting programs, they don't address the #parent as an individual #patient affected by their child's health under a child's plan, said Elisabeth Burak, a senior fellow at Georgetown University's Center for Children and Families. #Parents who live in one of the 10 states that haven't expanded Medicaid, including Texas, face an additional challenge getting care for their own #mentalhealth. Still, states are starting to recognize that caregivers need more support. Many states allow Medicaid to cover services from certified family peer specialists or navigators, who have experience raising a #child with #mentalillness and additional training to guide other families. In July, California awarded money to support #parents as part of a #child #mentalhealth initiative. "The most important thing that we should give families is a sense of hope that things will get better," said Gurwitch. Instead, the lack of quality #mentalhealthcare services for #youth exacerbates their risk for illnesses. Without appropriate help, these conditions follow a #child — and their #parents — for years, she said. With Amanda returning home from the residential treatment program this month, Delarosa worries she won't be equipped to manage her daughter's bouts of #depression. "It's the same thing over and over, nonstop," Delarosa said. "I have driven myself crazy." When Grady's son turned 18, she acquired continued guardianship so she could continue arranging his care outside their home. "I love him more than anything in the world, but I can't protect him," she said. Masters, whose skin conditions have worsened, is just trying to get Braylon through his final year of #highschool, which starts this month. He's also renewing his search for a residential treatment center, because Braylon's negative #behaviors have escalated. "When they are born, you have all these dreams for your #kids," said Masters. Instead, health professionals who have cared for Braylon told Masters, he needs to be prepared to look after his son even after he finishes high #school. "No #parent wants to hear that," he said. This article was reprinted from khn.org with permission from the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation. Kaiser Health News, an editorially independent news service, is a program of the Kaiser Family Foundation, a nonpartisan health care policy research organization unaffiliated with Kaiser Permanente. Read the full article

[httpswritings]

WOSO MASTERLIST

[the titles with a * next to them means that they're probably coming soon]

Footballer x Reader

Katie McCabe

Fanfics/Ficlets

the cold feels me

The Great War

The Girl Who Defined Poetry

Lucid Dream

cinnamon girl

Drabbles:

-

Alexia Putellas

Fanfics/Ficlets

Haunted

@alexiaps94 has liked your profile

Planet Earth

Sanctuary

vicious cycle; endless cycle; broken cycle

Carrying her; like every morning

ALE(xia): Average Lesbian Experience

the thought of her

discovering true love; unable

Postpartum Depression

she loves control

overworked

Alexia's favorite breakfast

mirror, mirror

i'll be here to save the day; just run into my arms

blind love

jealous girl

Good Luck, Babe!

hips, your lips, they're mine

if you were my little girl: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

night crawling

When you know, you know

the sweetest symphony

slipping through my fingers

the girl with the hazel eyes: full story

Drabbles:

does she know where your heart lies

bye, bye monkey!

oversensitive

Aitana Bonmatí

Fanfics/Ficlets

Turbulence

Bonmatí

Birthday Girl

Poison Paradise

La Meva Nena

Drabbles

-

Misa Rodríguez

Fanfics/Ficlets

The Goalkeeper's Duty

Drabbles:

-

Ona Batlle

Fanfics/Ficlets

Sembla Mentida

Drabbles:

-

Jana Fernández

Fanfics/Ficlets:

Drabbles:

Hayley Raso

Fanfics/Ficlets:

Winter in Madrid*

Drabbles:

-

The Sextet: Misa, Laia, Alexia, Jenni, Irene and Mariona.

Fanfics/Ficlets:

The coffee shop

Drabbles:

-

Footballer x Footballer

Fanfics/Ficlets:

Katie McCabe x Hayley Raso

We Don't Have To Wait All Night

Katie McCabe x Ruesha Littlejohn

I'm being mean, and what about it?

Alexia Putellas x Jenni Hermoso

[x Child!Reader] We've Created An Artist

Can't Remember To Forget You; I see only the good, selective memory

Jenni, darling, you're my best friend

Drabbles:

-

Footballer x Footballer x Reader

Fanfics/Ficlets:

Laia Codina x Misa Rodríguez x Reader

watching from afar

Drabbles:

-

Incorrect Quotes

The Sextet Incorrect Quotes: Misa, Laia, Alexia, Jenni, Irene and Mariona.

Imagines

Alexia Putellas

Different photos you took of Alexia as her gf.

Alexia missing you: WhatsApp's version. [selfies]

beach days with alexia

The Sextet: Misa, Laia, Alexia, Jenni, Irene and Mariona.

Being in a relationship with... The Sextet edition [Love languages]

Ideas for your writings: Pairings, team rivalry and plot ideas.

[kiyainnashville]

3rd, 4th, and 5th of July

My stomach is full of pasta with chicken, tomatoes, and spinach that I made for a late dinner. It's been quite a significant portion for someone like me, who usually eats lightly. I guess it's safe to say that I skipped lunch today - though I'm using "trying to sync my new routine," "relaxing my muscles" and "fixing my sleeping schedule" as valid excuses.

Today is my fifth day in Nashville after coming back from home. It's quite amazing how I'm able to adapt (relatively) fast mentally, physically, and emotionally. On my third day here, I managed to go golfing with Dad, sightseeing in McCabe for 45 minutes, and go grocery shopping afterward - what a rewarding day that was.

On the fourth of July, however, I found myself stuck in a cycle of scrolling through social media and eCommerce platforms. I was consuming too many unnecessary things without doing anything productive. I should've done something differently - like turning my phone off and leaving it out of sight, editing my video drafts, or maybe saying yes to a friend who asked me out to watch fireworks downtown.

So today, I'm playing "catch up" on all the things that I should've done on previous days. Sometimes this situation makes me feel like a failed adult. Older but never wiser, a phrase from a Taylor Swift song that I'm not ready to have been a reality. There's just so much potential left untapped within me.

To note how I'm "recovering" today - I managed to check off 13 items from my to-do list. What's more, I was able to resist taking an afternoon nap an hour after I figured out how to do my document. I didn't just clean two parts of my place, but four! What's more amazing, it's 10 pm and my sink is sparkly clean - no dishes!

Before the night ends, I only have a couple of things left to do. Firstly, replying to all messages on my phone and Instagram DMs. I need to get to them tonight, as these are kind people who genuinely want to stay connected with me. Thank you Allah for allowing me to do this. Please, keep me under your guidance<3

[ao3feed-the100]

The cycle of this story

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/kDz9PuQ

by ArsLionessGhostFang

A poem-(a bad poem) for the demon queens and their wife to be, Clarke Griffin. Implied sex at certain parts.

Words: 806, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 15 of The Demon Queens' Hearts

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Black Widow (Comics), Black Widow (Movie 2021), DCU, DCU (Comics), The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Clarke Griffin, Yelena Belova, Ontari (The 100), Niylah (The 100), Luna (The 100), Helena Bertinelli, Maria, Melina Vostokoff, Dinah Lance, Natasha Romanov, Mari Jiwe McCabe

Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Natasha Romanov, Clarke Griffin/Maria Hill, Clarke Griffin/Melina Vostokoff, Yelena Belova/Clarke Griffin, Anya/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin/Ontari, Clarke Griffin/Luna, Clarke Griffin/Niylah, Clarke Griffin/Mari Jiwe McCabe, Helena Bertinelli/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin/Dinah Lance

Additional Tags: Bad Poetry, Cunnilingus, Demons

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/kDz9PuQ