may 22, 12:27
I figured out how to print and make my own stickers today, which was an absolute hyperfixation and I could not focus on anything else until I printed at least one sticker. Maybe my calling is in a creative small business because the joy I feel at designing things and having them become tangible products is A LOT. Last summer I made one of those fake Eras Tour t-shirts with Dean Winchester photos and I could not believe I had created it.
I think on this day I was studying for the MCAT, and I'm a little embarrassed now to realized I haven't done so since that day, really. I'm taking it in 2 weeks, having not really done a lot about it since I got my score back in mid-may. The delusion is certain very high in this area, am I really going to go back into this test after not thinking about it for approximately as long as I had studied for the first time around and think I'm going to do even better? I guess I really do think that. Maintaining the delusion helps my anxiety but also then I have anxiety about the fact that I am too laid back for pretty much all aspects of my med school application.
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The bad kids are an incredibly healthy and supportive friend group BUT OH MY GOD THEY SUCK AT COMMUNICATING!
Half of their problems would be solved if they talked to each other.
Fabian would GLADLY pay for Adaine's components and for Riz's tuition if they asked. He would even get his papa to change his trust fund conditions to include them. Or he would declare Riz and Adaine his nemesis.
They would figure out the reason for Fig's misfortune in a week max. They would march into hell, probably accompanied by both Gorthalax and Sandra Lynn, and demand to break whatever deal she made with whichever demon involved.
If Fabian even suggested he was lonely, the bad kids would organise sleepovers every night. He would circle between the Thistlesprings, the Gukgaks and the Mordred Manor. Lydia would pack him his own lunch.
Fig would immediately start promoting Cassandra's religion on all social media, and get her to thousand followers in a week. The rest of the bad kids would join without hesitation.
If Riz would finally admit the HUGE stress he is under, everyone, even Fig, would stop piling all the work on him and happily write their 10 page essays. They would convince him to see Jawbone, and enjoy his last years in high school. They would band together to find the rogue teacher within a day. They would make sure that Riz's resume is the most impressive CV that the universities have ever received.
They would all gather together to come up with music for Fig and Gorgug's new album. Fabian would choreograph their music videos, Adaine would come up with rhymes, Riz would bring a list of all their adventures, including motifs and connections made, to give her inspiration, Kristen would suggest to make parodies of classic camp songs from her old church.
Adaine would contact Aelwyn immediately to get dirt on Porter, to blackmail him. Gorgug would get permission for his MCAT exams by the end of the week.
And if she would stay on the phone a little longer and admitted how much she is struggling, Aelwyn would immediately return home along with her cats. Then she would drag her sister to Jawbone's door, and force her to give him the components list.
The problem is that even after all those years, after all those adventures, even after the forest of the nightmare king, they still each think of themselves as the weak link. As the person in the group that isn't allowed, doesnt deserve to take space, ask for help. Because they should be able to handle it on their own. Isn't that what adulthood is like?
They would abandon anything and everything to help someone else, as long as that person isn't themselves. As long as they dont have to show their amazing, incredible, powerful, and oh so compassionate friends how weak and imperfect they are in comparison.
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Any advice for someone contemplating med school?
And taking the MCAT?
And starting late at it, like late 20’s early 30’s 😂
Also, if you don’t mind me asking, do you have any idea what your focus is going to be in?
hi im so sorry I was swamped with finals and just remembered this.
I guess my advice would be to give it your all considering the fact youre starting late, this must've been something you wanted to do for a long time and maybe you were confused if you could do it or the timing wasnt right. Since youre taking this step be prepared to push past your limits cos there will be times when you'll be exhausted but you'll have to keep studying, you'll have to cancel plans cos youre too drained, but above all be there for yourself first, take breaks, treat yourself right so you dont get burnt out and if you do, just know it happens to the best of us and you'll rise from it 💗
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I've seen a few posts from people who think Henry was being shitty to Gorgug or setting Gorgug up to fail by allowing him to do 3 years of the artificer track at once. But I have a lot of experience in STEM, and I think Henry was being incredibly kind in a very engineering-coded way.
I did an undergrad degree in engineering and have been in STEM spaces for more than 10 years. And the STEM way of being an asshole is much more like what Porter did. So many people who don't look like they fit the stereotype of who belongs in STEM have been explicitly told to leave. Like, I was at a conference last year where a presenter asked all the people in the room who had been told to change their major to raise their hands. And there were lots of us with raised hands. (This was in a diversity equity and inclusion session, so a lot of non-traditional looking people for engineering.) If Henry wanted to be an asshole he would tell Gorgug to leave, or that the curriculum was "rigorous" and half-orcs can't usually hack it, etc. But he didn't!
Henry did the classic STEM thing of laying out all of the options, even the ones that aren't desirable. Since Porter won't sign the MCAT, the reasonable options are all gone. Henry mentioned that Gorgug doesn't need to be in school for artificing to be an artificer ("If artificing is something that brings you joy and brings happiness to your life, you don't need school. You can do that on your own.") Which is NOT something that STEM people do. I've never heard an engineering professor say that someone who does STEM stuff as a hobby can call themselves engineers. Henry is being absurdly kind by saying this.
When Gorgug says that he wants to do artificing in school, Henry gives the option to do all three years of school at once. [Note that Henry did not suggest this at first. Henry didn't offer it until Gorgug basically asked for a loophole.] This reminds me so much of all the STEM people who know a system really well and give you advice on how to navigate it. They note that their path isn't what the system was designed to do, but if you really want to do it you could do it this way. Which is exactly what Henry does. This also gives Gorgug the agency to decide for himself.
Henry also goes out of his way to say that the people who work hard are the ones he would bet on. This is also so nice as a STEM person! I can't tell you the number of professors I had who said that a specific problem shouldn't take long, or "if you're efficient you should be fine." I also had a professor who said some people can code and some people can't, and he didn't know how to help the people who don't have a natural aptitude for coding. Henry saying he thinks Gorgug can achieve this through hard work is super enlightened for a STEM instructor.
tl;dr Henry is incredibly enlightened for a STEM instructor. He tells Gorgug that Gorgug can still be an artificer without formal schooling, and then when Gorgug expresses a desire for the formal education he tells Gorgug the path. If Henry does a heel turn I will be emotionally devastated lol
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I can't really let go of the hallway scene with Porter because it felt like so many got the wrong takeaway. I believe that Porter genuinely likes Fig, he's liked her since day one of freshman year way before he ever wanted/needed her as a champion. I do not think he likes Kipperlilly. He noticed that Kipperlilly was spying on him and was fucking pissed off about it. He played it off and helped Fig to her feet and brushed her off, but he fucking pinned down Kipperlilly (who should be well-versed with Porter's fighting abilities after all that time in Farhaven). I think he's gonna discard the Rat Grinders as soon as he can, but I do genuinely believe we're gonna get a scene in the final battle of Porter offering Fig a place in his empire. He trained her and I think she's his magnum opus outside of the manipulation. I think he would be delighted to work with her and has not pushed anything with her because he's so astutely aware of her competency level and past with the bad kids and I think this makes Porter, maybe subconsciously, like her even more. Fig is a multiclass Bard/Warlock/Paladin, but spiritually she's always been a barbarian in the same way Gorgug has. I genuinely think Porter's been right about that. I believe he would've gotten her an MCAT without needing her signature. He's working with Kipperlilly and pinned her down spiting them both, he's actively working against Fig and he helped her up and told her we gotta work on your technique a bit more
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