#and she also said she wanted to make sure that things were graded fairly based on who actually did work

[dykeyuu]

u lovely ladies will never have to hear me complain about that chem lab paper ever again i got a 96.5 on it which means i could get an A in the class which is unheard of for a chem lab i’ve never gotten above a B+

[mdhwrites]

I love Raine, but I hated them as Eda’s love interest. Everything about their relationship felt forced to me, including how much Eda is supposed to love them. I wish they could’ve been introduced earlier possibly and with a more coherent/integrated role.

(But then I wonder if it’s just because they’re a non-binary character and I like the representation. Because without that aspect, the character honestly felt so useless and random.)

Maybe this is just a gripe I have with toh romance in general but like we’re supposed to believe Eda, who is considered King’s mom, would be putting him in danger with the collector just to stare at Raine?? Like come on. The romance in this show is so cringey to me.

It’s like how Luz reunites with everyone after defeating Belos and immediately shares a hug and kiss with Amity before her mom. 😑 like this is her mom who is seeing her for the first time after this whole nightmare and she didn’t even know if she’d be okay. I feel like she should’ve rushed to her and then Amity could’ve stepped in after. I guess honestly I’m just annoyed by the overemphasis on romantic partners in the show tbh. Could just be a personal problem

So there's a lot I can say about romance on this blog (romance writer has a lot to say on romance, shocking) and especially in regards to the genres TOH is in, both positively and mostly negatively. The thing I REALLY want to point out though is the dog shit treatment of Raine and how it truly emphasizes the fundamental problem of not just romantic relationships but ALL relationships in TOH. See, when Raine is introduced, we don't get a lot about their character. We understand that they are the caution to Eda's brashness and that while their caution is obvious, them having stage fright is actually a great way for Eda to have a way of breaking them out of their shell. Something her enthusiasm, especially as a child, could be useful.

And then we gets Falls and Follies where their stage fright is... Still their main character trait. And then we get Them's the Breaks Kid.

And suddenly, Raine isn't Raine. Now yes, kids can change as they grow up but stage fright is a fairly unique malady. It's not specifically social anxiety and it's not a phobia. It's genuinely about stepping on stage and freezing. That terror of performance. My drama director in High School said that she'd helped a lot of kids with it and the right course of actions were always repetition and exposure. That usually the lines came so naturally and their base confidence was so high that a successful dress rehearsal would make sure they didn't freeze come opening night.

It is something that fades with experience. And in Falls and Follies, Raine might still be the level head to Eda's rowdy behavior, but in the worst way. They're not the nervous kid who overthinks things and needs to be reminded to breathe but instead the smart, grade A kid who is so popular and so above everyone that they're bored by all the 'normies'. Edalyn is interesting in that she stands out, as well as being the strongest. Their is never even a hint of fear or nervousness in them.

This comes to its worst part in the moment that is supposed to tell everyone the two are destined for each other. The moment that the fandom was supposed to immortalize like the major Lumity moments. The moment Eda tries to bean Raine with a ball and Raine, unlike Lilith, catches it not just easily but with flair.

Or in other words, catches it just like Eda would. The moment that I think a lot of people, myself included, started realizing that Raine was just a love interest, just like Amity and then Willow for Hunter, instead of anything even resembling a character. After all, they spend this entire episode showing that they are a clone to Eda. Period.

It actually gets worse as the motivation to protect their loved ones is also an Eda one and they both do it in the same way by just trying not to include them and put distance between them. Their methods, ideologies, etc. like that are literally lock step with one another, just like Amity changes hers to be and Hunter ends up becoming like alongside Willow and Luz. A lot of people point this at as growth for the characters but I still argue that dissolving your own personality for your partner is not a good thing.

And do you want to know how much the writers KNEW Them's the Breaks was a mistake? Just a blatantly wrong choice to make? Well, see, Falls and Follies eventually came out with a second version of the episode with annotations. Little tidbits about the show and lore of the universe. I don't know really any of those tidbits except one, and that this WAS released after Falls and Follies.

"Raine developed stage fright during a production of the Isles version of Romeo and Juliet that they performed with Eda."

That's not word for word, I'm not looking this up for that, but that is what it summarized to. Or, in other words, they went back and had to retcon in stage fright for Raine. Stage fright they developed WITH the person who's dynamic with them should be to bring them out of their shell with.

The worst part? They probably don't see the contradiction. They instead likely went "We made a plothole in Them's the Breaks. What can we do this for shipping fodder?" And then someone else shouted, "MAKE IT SO RAINE GOT STAGE FRIGHT BECAUSE OF A PLAY THAT MADE THEM KISS EDA!"

Now no, that's not explicitly stated but besides just being lazy and referencing Romeo and Juliet (they did have a special name for it), that's the main reason I can imagine for that play causing that specific reaction. After all, Raine had performed for large crowds before. Even done things against the rules and off script in front of crowds and against a FUCKING COVEN HEAD. What could have possibly caused them to gain stage fright from a fucking play?

And if this sort of inconsistency was in a piece of fanfic or a person's personal webcomic and they just admitted to wanting the cute shipping moments, like Yoko Taro saying 2B is a beautiful woman because he likes pretty girls in his games, I would be more okay with it. In a show that is touted as so progressive, having such perfect representation, some of the best romances in television history, etc. etc...

Well, my response is that I guess there's a reason so many straight people have to deal with bland, inconsistent love interests if that's what nonbinaries and lesbians want too.

===========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[legaciestold]

october 13th, 1995 pre-series flashback cool night with moderate rain. cloudy skies, little moonlight. @everythingheard (chris)

claire redfield had always believed she'd had a pretty decent head on her shoulders. she might not be an angel who never did anything wrong but she didn't do drugs even if she'd occasionally sipped a beer before, managed to maintain a 'b' grade point average thus far this year (mostly because it'd dipped the year before when she'd missed so much school and moved across the country and frankly had been reeling from the loss of her parents yet she'd managed to bring it back up inside of a year and she was proud of that) and made an effort to volunteer on occasion. the seventeen-year-old also had been fairly confident in her ability to read people too. yet, within the span of a few hours on a rainy night in october, everything claire's believed of herself has managed to be shot to hell and the teenager had to wonder how she'd allowed herself to get from point a to where she was now.

music plays loudly, chatter and shouting and sounds emitting all around her. it's been an hour since she'd even seen janet or even janet's friend and claire's fall rain jacket remains on even though both it and her are soaked from someone spilling a drink on her. claire's not against the principle of parties, she could be down to go them-- she has; she's not even against the principle of drinking below the legal age if it was done safely and with people her own age that she trusted. but this-- this wasn't what claire had signed up for and definitely not somewhere she should be. she acknowledges it and she's known it since the moment they'd entered the door of the now packed house. this entire day had been a testament to why people had intuition and why one should listen to their gut-feelings and claire had been trying to make some new friends now that she'd managed to get her grades up and had the time to. and.. now that she finally felt a little less weighted and closed off. not that she forgot her parents, but life finally started to feel somewhat normal again. a new normal. but still normal. her and chris had a routine now at least. but tonight was supposed to be a girl's night with the girl she'd recently become friends with at school. they were supposed to watch movies and maybe talk about boys with her mom checking in on them to make sure they went to bed at a reasonable hour. normal teenager things.

they had gone off base to a movie but then janet had presented the idea of just making a quick stop at her friend's house and even if it was already dark out janet was the one with the car and she'd said it'd be quick. maybe claire should have had more concern than she'd talked herself out of when she'd asked the girl if she wanted to call her mom from the payphone and let her know they'd be late and janet had told her her mom was actually out of town until the next day. that hadn't been what she'd told claire and thus not what she'd told chris. that unease had become more pronounced when they'd gotten to the 'friends' house and claire had realized how close they were to the local collage campus. somehow that had devolved into the chaos that was now around her, a party-- a collage party-- in full-swing with a lot more eyes on her and substances around her than she was comfortable with and an unwillingness to attempt to ask a stranger for a ride and get herself into even deeper shit than she already felt like she was in. maybe it made her a bad person but at this point, after already telling janet she wanted to go home three times and being ignored and brushed off now that she was there, claire wasn't too concerned with the girl as much as she was with herself. claire has no idea what time it is when she finally gives up in looking for the girl and manages to get a hold of the phone attached to the wall that'd had a group of guys next to it for the last hour but she's infinitely relieved when she hears her brother's voice after six rings.

"i need you to come get me." comes her tense voice before she even offers a greeting, followed quickly by a general location of the cross streets because she hasn't managed to be able to get outside to see the house number but she thinks it'll be fairly obvious based on the loudness and million and one people there. "i swear i didn't know she was going to take to a party. she said we were stopping by her friend's real quick after the movie before we went back to her house and i thought her mom was home but then she said she wasn't and--" her words come out quicker than usual, her voice slightly higher too. then she's bumped into by a guy who tries to offer her something which causes the phone to slip, her grabbing it again a moment later and shoving him away from her.

"--i... i think this is a frat house-- like an unmarked one. there's a lot of college kids here, chris. and.. there's not just alcohol here and janet abandoned me. and i'm really mad at her but i should probably try to find her again. i want to go home and-- no i don't want a drink or whatever the fuck that is--" claire's voice emits both into the phone and at another person in the room by the tail end before she's speaking again, holding the phone with two hands as if she thinks it'll somehow get knocked out of her hand again. "-- c-chris, it might be a good idea to bring barry. can you just come and get me--" had she even let him get a word in or had everything she'd said managed to come out in under a minute and only come from her? claire has no idea because someone's just grabbed the phone out of her hands and hung it up with her making a distressed exclamation in the background.

a few minutes later, claire's locked herself in the bathroom upstairs and her jacket's somewhere downstairs where she'd managed to shake free of it with a rip when someone'd attempt to back her into a wall, them managing to get a hold of her jacket but not her. at this point, fuck janet. claire wasn't opening the bathroom door for anyone but her brother. because he would come. she held absolutely no doubt in that fact.

[abyssalzones]

tell me your calamity trio headcanons... please im begging 💜

Oh you are enabling me in TERRIBLE ways right now thank you so much. I'll try to keep this from getting long winded.

I'll start with the basics-- I've actually changed my mind a bit since I posted my other hc art about the characters and their personal styles, I was gonna draw something more up to date with what I meant but chronic fatigue is kicking my ass right now so I’ll make something... later. For now you get words, enclosed under the cut for everyone else’s sake.

Just to get this out of the way, Anne is a trans girl lesbian who uses she/her, Sasha is a transmasc-leaning lesbian who uses she/he, and Marcy is a transmasc lesbian who uses he/they. Whoops all lesbians y’know how it is. If I wanted to get specific I think Anne started transitioning in early middle school and her parents got her puberty blockers, while Marcy realized they were Genderweird in like 6th or 7th grade (so, semi-recently) but stayed closeted from everyone until amphibia. Sasha, meanwhile, was firmly under the impression she was cis until being in amphibia gave her more opportunities to think about how she Wants to present. He still likes "girly" clothes though I don't think that personal style would entirely go away.

ANYWAY UHHH let me just get through the other stuff quickly to avoid this getting too clogged:

ANNE

-She has ADHD for sure. Mixture of inattentive and hyperactive but mostly inattentive. This is related to how in canon she seems like the kind of B-student who fails on purpose a lot-- she just doesn't bother to try because she's already used to struggling in school and doesn't think reaching out will help.

-c-PTSD also. This one is obvious I just feel like it should be said. I think she'd ignore it or try her hardest to just will it to go away once she's back home-- I think especially right now she's in a lot of denial about her experiences in amphibia.

-At some point Anne talks about just pushing herself to just play harder when she's losing in tennis and I think that kind of says a lot about how scarily determined and competitive she can get. Sasha's the only person who can really keep up with her for this reason-- they both drive themselves into the ground when they have something to prove.

-On that note, I think she's gotten carpal tunnel at least once. Might turn into a reoccurring thing if she isn't careful.

-Clearly pretty athletic, as well as fairly lanky, but still a little shorter than Sasha and probably will continue to be a little shorter than Sasha for the rest of her life. 

-Anne is the only member of the group who is good at self care. Sasha varies wildly between periods of treating herself and ignoring base needs like, eating real food. Marcy is horrible at anything more than remembering to shower once or twice a week.

-...So even if pre-amphibia Anne couldn't be called responsible, she looked out for them a bit. Sasha probably resented her attempts at making sure she was eating well-- just because Anne has parents who actually cook, who have an entire restaurant and would go out of their way to set aside leftovers for her (and Marcy.)

-Very warm-natured, having spent her entire life in Los Angeles. Even if Amphibia can get unbearably muggy and humid at times, it’s been mostly comfortable for her. Most air conditioning probably feels pretty weird for the first few weeks she’s back on Earth.

-The only way I can figure she hasn’t gotten like, horribly sick from hanging out with human-sized frogs for so long is that she has a godly immune system or something. Viral diseases fear her.

-Anne is kind of scarily prepared for each situation, mostly due to her parents' and her friends' influence. This is based on her backpack when she came over to amphibia-- I know it was her birthday, but jesus christ that's a lot of seemingly arbitrary stuff to fit in your school backpack. A bath bomb, a swimming outfit with sandals, toothbrush and toothpaste, several magazines ?? I think it's likely that after a while she just started keeping extra supplies in her backpack for whenever she'd be going over to Marcy's or Sasha's place after school. Maybe one of them has a pool at their house?

-Similarly she has, like, at least 10 chap-sticks on hand at all times. Marcy keeps asking to use hers anyway.

-I can't decide if I think she'd lose a hand/arm because of the events of Amphibia in some way, but I do like the idea of her having burn scars. Not minor ones, either.

SASHA

-This 13 year old can fit so many problems in his brain it's unreal. In my mind he has BPD but I don't think this necessarily has to do with all of his behavior-- it's just another thing that might explain Why he acts like that. (Also worth noting that I have BPD, so this is... partially based on experience.) In general I just want to see him learn to cope with it better not only for his sake but for others'.

-I don't know if she would pretend to like guys for the Social Points or not but I think she just wouldn't... care? Maybe Marcy or Anne have claimed to have crushes of the week but I just can't see her bothering. She could look at a guy and point out all the reasons why he might or might not be attractive but otherwise she wouldn't bother. Sasha might have a wide circle of friends and influence, but Anne and Marcy encompass what Matters to her, in her world.

-In the same vein she has had horrible jealousy problems and this is just canon. Goes about it in her own petty little teenager way, like prioritizing Anne or Marcy's input above whoever else they've invited along.

-Hair isn’t naturally blonde I’ll die on this hill. Was born with dark hair but her mother dyed it when she was young and she just kind of kept up the tradition ever since. I like to think she lets her roots grow back in over time and keeps it dark post-amphibia. She also has dark brown eyes :]

-Lives with his mom. His father is mostly responsible for paying his tuition. Not much else, though. I do not think he has a good relationship with his mom at all. Might be part of where his desire for control stems from-- witnessing an adult who can't put in the effort, can never control a situation, and deciding he had to be the strong one who would always step up, and do better. He always has something to prove.

-Has a bit more muscle tone than Anne, but could definitely afford to eat more, and more regularly. Very feast or famine.

-Sasha pushes himself in a lot of ways that aren't always seen. He can run on less sleep, go longer without breaks, lift more than his own weight, push through pain-- he takes pride in it, even when it's horrible for him. It proves in his mind that he's stronger than other people. He either doesn't understand that there are forms of self harm that are less "obvious," or doesn't want to. He'd hate the term anyway- just sounds like pity.

-I don't know if she'd actually want to go on T after amphibia or not, I think in a lot of ways she might be comfortable with a change of hair and pronouns and not care about much else. She likes "girly" stuff as well as a more masculine association, enjoys the personal freedom it gives her.

-I do think it'd be cool/interesting if her eye was injured during the events of amphibia, possibly during the fight with Core Marcy/Darcy? I like it better if she's actually half blinded though, so one eye is left completely non-functional. Wouldn't bother with an eyepatch.

-Matt already said she owns a PS vita but I'm expanding on that by saying she loves fighting games. There have been many intense nights of mortal kombat and street fighter v. tekken between the girls where Marcy almost certainly wins but Sasha and Anne vie tooth and nail to be second place.

-Sasha's Mongolian/Ukrainian on her mother's side and German/American on her father's. Her mom's side of the family have been in the U.S for a few generations, though. She has little to no connection to any of her cultural ancestry I just think it's neat. Also I used to hc her with Japanese/Filipino origins like her voice actress and I still kinda like that but Matt said she has germanic/slavic heritage so I felt like getting different with it. I like either though :] 

MARCY

-Just... a litany of mental health problems with very little done about it. Has had a general mixture of depression/anxiety for a long time but doesn't recognize it because it's not like he's apathetic. He feels very intensely about everything.

-Autistic for sure. Extremely passionate about all of their interests, but especially biological sciences (with their specialty being evolutionary science.) I also think they have dyspraxia, which would at least partially explain their history of accidental injuries and "clumsiness."

-I think before Amphibia it might’ve been too minor to have much of an affect on their life (beyond not bothering much with gym or other physical activities) but Marcy has some form of chronic fatigue syndrome. Gets sore/worn out/all shaky and exhausted Way way sooner than either of their friends, which is only made worse by the whole... self-neglect thing

-Speaking of which, he’s always really struggled with base needs like hygiene or eating. Anne and Sasha have a long history of trying to show Marcy how to wash his face ‘properly’ (or, y’know, at all) but it just never sticks/he doesn’t have the energy so it never gets done. Marcy combats acne by picking his skin and he doesn’t really care if he gets scars or not. 

-They’ve been shorter than both Anne and Sasha for their whole life and the gap is going to get even wider between 13 and young adulthood. Probably never going to get taller than 5′1. 

-Obviously I draw Marcy fat but I also think that while they’re possessed by the Core, their health is neglected even further and they eat far less. Becomes a little emaciated from what a comfortable weight is for them because the Core drives the body regardless of what physical state it’s in-- it just has to be alive. 

-VERY into speedruns. Loves collecting information about weird speedruns and attempts their own. Probably has a small youtube channel that’s a mixture of speedruns and critical media analysis over video game footage.

-I really like the idea of post-amphibia Marcy being disabled and using a wheelchair most of the time, I honestly wish it could be canon? I don’t know, I just think it’d be cool to have a disabled character be a member of the main cast. Specifically I think Andrias’ sword fucked up his spine real bad and the Core piloting his body meant they were pushing him beyond his physical limits. Might be able to walk with a cane sometimes but not for long. 

-I think it’s pretty obvious they’d suffer from some pretty severe PTSD after amphibia and might be mostly dependent on others for a little while. I think they’d still want to go to college eventually though... they’re a very determined scientist through and through :] 

-Favorite game is the original MGS. Big otasune fan. That one’s just for fun sorry.

Okay I lied that got really long-winded. In summary: I am autistic and I like amphibia. I think about these 3 a lot. 

As for closing thoughts I obviously like sashannarcy but I’ll be honest I’m happiest if it isn’t super simple. I think they’ll always be very important in each others’ lives and that’s what matters most, even if it’s going to be a very rocky road to regaining their close relationship. Endgame is they all share a shitty apartment together while Marcy gets through college though. 

[nonasimming]

Marikit "Mari" Bautista

for @ceejayssss's millennial complex bachelorette challenge 😅 her backstory is after the cut because it's too long lol am sorry

Marikit, known to her friends as Mari, grew up near the beaches of Sulani. She was the oldest of three children and would joke to her friends that she was "the lab rat" of the family. Fortunately, Mari was a gifted child. Her mother, a quintessential tiger mom, made her join every competition she possibly could -- from spelling bees to math-triathlons to talent shows to classroom politics, you name it! Funnily enough, she always excelled at them, too. She coasted through life with good grades, multiple awards, and, despite being an introvert, a decent amount of friends. But even with all of these, Mari felt average, almost invisible. She didn't know who she was outside of her books and certificates. Her hometown, comforting as it was, kept feeling smaller and smaller.

When uni applications rolled around, Mari decided it was time for a change. She picked the farthest university there was - Britechester University - to study Language and Literature. She wanted to be a writer. In uni, she realized that there were a lot of bright young people, maybe even brighter than her, around. She developed a creeping suspicion that, despite what her parents and childhood mentors told her, she wasn't all that special. On the flip side, uni also opened her up to a new and exciting world of juice and keg parties. She went out every night and met many different people. She was widening her horizons, she said. She bounced from relationship to relationship, fling to fling, and she tried almost all mostly-legal substances. She wanted to experience it all! A term shy of graduating, for no particular reason, she packed up her bags and moved again. Her college-town felt too small, too.

After a few years of jumping from place to place, Mari is now 25 and looking to put down some roots. She's not entirely sure what she wants to do with her life but for now she works as a public relations coordinator in San Myshuno. If she feels like a basic bitch, it's because she's already trying to clean up her act (for the most part). She's slow to warm up to people but with three tequila shots in she might just tell you about that one time she almost got herself into an orgy (it's more comedic than it sounds). And, while she says she wants a serious and committed relationship, her non-committal nature leads to her feeling suffocated in most relationships. All in all, Mari is just a confused millennial on her way to finding out what kind of person she actually wants to be.

Other info about Mari

Zodiac Sign: Pisces, MBTI: INFP

Traits:

Non-committal: Mari jokes that being a Pisces has given her the attention span of a fish. She's not entirely wrong, as she's constantly jumping from one interest to another. Even though she thinks of herself as a hopeless romantic, she also gets tired of romantic partners fairly quickly. She thinks that she just needs to meet the right person, but tbh sometimes she wonders if she's just saying that to console herself.

Perfectionist: a direct result of growing up as an over-achiever is that Mari has too-high standards for herself without the actual motivation to see things through. She does, however, do a really good job once she hyperfixates on something.

Jealous: her competitive edge means she's always lowkey looking to outshine others. She thinks it's because her parents used to always compare her to other kids. It's a trait she's trying to outgrow as it only leads to petty competition and it's made her a sore loser in more than one occasion. Strangely enough though, she also feels bad when people lose to her.

Erratic: Probably a major factor in Mari's misadventures is how fast and intense her emotions change. Most people wouldn't expect it from her, but she's done a lot of shady things lol

Movie Buff: Mari prides herself in her extensive knowledge of horror movies. She's continuously adding to her horror movie watchlist and can't stand people who say "I don't really like watching movies".

Skills: She's picked up a lot of skills over the years in an effort to discover what she wants to be and what she's good at. She also tried out baking, gardening and yoga just for the 'gram.

Random facts

Mari makes playlists based on "if my life was a movie, what scene would this song be the background to". Her latest playlist is titled "Songs for when you smoke up with a boy in his apartment and there's very clearly tension there but both of you are waiting for the other to make a move".

She mostly only wears neutrals (particularly, black or white), but all her non-clothing items are in pink. If she's buying bedsheets, desk chairs, or sticky notes, it's most likely gonna be in pink.

[its5amandimstillawake]

Ok so this may seem random but I just binge watched bobs burger, all 10 seasons of it. And I had always heard it was like American Dad or family guy, hell when I googled "what to watch if you liked Bob's burgers" or looked for shows similar American Dad and family guy came up. Now I hated family guy and American Dad growing up, my dad watched it and I just never enjoyed it. But I watched a compilation on YouTube of Bob's burgers and it seemed decent so I decided to give it a shot and im glad I did. Unlike American Dad or family guy, two shows that have the goal to offend people, and who's humor heavily relies on steriotype or references, Bob's burgers doesn't feel dated, doesn't rely on steriotype, it bases it's humor on putting these likeable character that you love into different scenarios and having them reacting to the world around them. And unlike a lot of shows, like I said watched all 10 seasons and it never really got repetitive or boring or annoying I honestly enjoyed every episode, every episode felt new and fresh, even if the idea has been done before. Now there are several things I enjoy about Bob's burgers and I just kind of felt like talking about it so

First, they all, not only love eachother, but also actually like eachother. Now I feel like a lot of people don't quite get what I mean by that. I personally love my mom, I do not like her, I don't like the way she thinks or acts, I always say that If I had met her at school or at work or something and was not related to her I wouldn't like her. I've seen many siblings who love eachother, they'll defend eachother and take care of eachother but for the most part avoid eachother especially if they're at the same school, they don't go out of their way to talk or hang out with eachother. This family all seem to actually like eachother though.

Which leads me to my next point. The Belcher siblings are personally my favorite part of the show, I was actually confused when I first started seeing them all together, because most shows seem to have that sibling relationship of love but not like, and while that's fine and can be realistic, I don't very often see a show that shows a good healthy sibling relationship of siblings actually liking eachother which can also be realistic and is a good thing to teach kids. The Belcher siblings are great, they of course defend eachother and take care of eachother but they're also friends. They walk together in between classes, theyre all in the same friend group, they go out of their way to hang out with eachother and play togetherand have fun together, they eat lunch together and scheme together. Of course they also spend time by themselves and will hang out with their mutual friends without their siblings and have friends outside of the mutual friend group, and of course they get into arguments and disagree with eachother a lot, what siblings don't? But for the most part they get along very well. You won't see any of them embarrassed to be seen with their younger siblings in or out of school, even Tina, the teenager of the group who's going through a lot for the typical teen problems including being embarrassed often and caring a lot about what others in her grade think, will hang out with her little brother and sister, and take part in their mischief, and eat lunch with them and doesn't have a problem with it.

The kids aren't the only one with a uniquely healthy relationship when it comes to these types of shows, we also have their parents, Bob and Linda. Bob isn't the steriotypicaltypical husband that's often portrayed in these types of shows, Bob isn't the husband that complains about how his wife is always nagging or jokes about how being married is awful. Linda isn't the steriotypicaltypical wife, Linda doesn't complain about how her husband can't take care of himself, or seem disgusted by her husband or seem exasperated by the kind of person her husband is. Strangely enough they seem to actually love eachother, and support and encourage eachother and care about eachother and enjoy spending time together and enjoy working together. They enjoy making small fun competitions with eachother and having fun and laughing together. They seem to bring out the best of eachother. And yes they aren't exactly in their honeymoon phase, and may not have that "spark" they first had when they first got together, and they're not exactly the pinnacle of romance, they are however a good representation of a happily married couple who genuinely love and like eachother and have been married for years. And of course they each have their flaws and they have their disagreements and arguments but who doesn't?

And the Belcher kids love and like their parents as well and enjoy being with them and involve them in their antics as well.

And they love and like their kids as well. And given each of the children it would be expected in a show like this for one or two of the children to be considered "disappointments" or "not as good as the favorite child" there's usually a kid who's clearly the favorite and one or more kids who's looked down upon by the parents and everyone else in shows like these, however Bob and Linda genuinely love and are very proud of each of their kids and they both have good relationships with all of their kids. Even in the episode where they spent the entire time showing just how much of a screw up gene was, Bob took gene aside and said that while gene could get distracted and could mess up at times that he was still very proud of him and loved him.

Bob and Linda support their kids in everything they do, even in the episode where gene got interested in "table setting" and got into a competition and his parents didn't quite understand it or understood why someone would enjoy it they still helped and encouraged him and expressed how proud they were that he found something he enjoyed doing.

It's a very healthy family and it's enjoyable to watch.

The show itself, although it has 10 seasons, doesn't ever get annoying or repetitive, every episode seems fresh, like I said binge watched the entire show and was actually pretty sad when I got the final episode and realized I was done and couldn't watch anymore, although the first season was great it got better over time, and personally I thought each season was better then the last.

I like that all the characters seem realistic, their was several episodes with the Belcher kids where I could imagine my younger self and my friends and brother doing similar things. And like I said the parents though loving also seemed like a realistic couple that have been married for years.

I also liked the consitancy. A lot of characters over time will become an exaggerated version of their former selves. For example a character like Patrick star or homer Simpson or Cosmo from fairly odd parents, who start off the show kind of dumb and clueless but not annoyingly so and are still enjoyable, over time will become so damn moronic that you wonder how they've managed to go this long without accidentally killing themselves and it becomes annoying and frustrating and they're no longer likeable.

None of the characters in this show have a character flaw that becomes so extreme they become unlikable, in fact all of the characters in the belcher family are likeable, and stay consistent, thats the point, you want to see them go through these things and want to see them win and come out on top because of how likeable they are. Louise is mischief, she's a prankster, but it's never to the point where she's unlikeable, she's still a good kid who usually doesn't go to far and when she does shes quick to see her mistake, apologize, and try to make it right, if anything a lot of times her pranks are to help defend other people or "bring justice" to people who have been wronged.

She may be a bit extreme but she's still a good kid and you want to see her come out on top. Gene can be loud and extreme and not really get hints, but he wants to befriend people and wants to help people, even though he can be gullible and a bit clueless and as a result can easily get roped into stuff, he tries to help people and make things right when he sees things going south, he's a sweet kid.

And Tina can be innapropriate, and can be selfish at times and not always see the big picture, but like gene and Louise when she sees that she's messed up she immediately tries to fix it and make things right, she has a stronger moral compass then either of her siblings and usually the voice of reason and helps people out whatever situation they're in, including her siblings who can often end up in some pretty bad situations, and is willing to take the fall for the sake of others.

Bob can by cynical, and a bit extreme about things he cares about (work, turkeys, Thanksgiving in general) and when he gets extreme he won't think things all the way through he'll just react, but he means well, he cares about his family and will put aside his obsessions for his family and is willing to sacrifice those things for his family. Hell one of the things hes obsessed with is Thanksgiving, he will make sure everything goes PERFECTLY and will get very upset if they're not perfect and will go crazy trying to make it perfect, but the reason Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday and the reason he cares so much is because of his love for his family and because Thanksgiving to him is being with your family. And even he is willing to sacrifice his Thanksgiving to be there for his friend, teddy, who's alone and without his family.

Linda can also be extreme and not think things all the way through but like bob, she means well, the times she gets extreme is typically when it involves her family and trying to do everything in her power to make them happy, and to do what she considers the morally right thing to do, even if it means going a little crazy and taking things a bit to far while doing so. I think a good example of this was when Louise got in trouble at school for causing problems, she was causing problems because a couple of kids were picking on a smaller kid and she was attempting to defend the kid, Linda thinks it's morally wrong to punish Louise for defending a kid and breaks Louis out of detention from the window (also breaking the school's AC in the process) to get her some ice cream all while having to avoid mr.frond, the school counselor who's around the same area. It's a good example of how it makes for a funny episode and flawed characters because of how extreme they can get but how they're motivation and reasonings makes them likeable and makes you root for them.

Anyway. I know this is kind of random it just kind of bothered me that I don't really see bobs burgers being talked about very often and I see it being compared to American Dad and family guy when, from what I've seen of the two shows, it's not really similar at all

[carriagelamp]

April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom.    As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

[imagine-loki]

You Have Heart

TITLE: You Have Heart CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 1/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE:  Imagine finding out that your soulmate is Loki and your very first kiss is interrupted by Thor shouting “Yeeessss”

RATING: M NOTES/WARNINGS:  This is a rewrite of the original work of the same name.  Also on AO3 here

You have heart

You looked at the black words that appeared to be tattooed on your arm.  Everyone had such marks.  They were the first words you would hear from your soulmate.  Some people’s were written in childish scrawls, those people met their soulmate when they were children.  Some were written in adult writing.  As was yours.  The words on your arm were written in an elegant masculine hand, looking almost like calligraphy.  

You still hadn’t met your soulmate yet.  The words were still dark and black on your skin. Most of your friends had found theirs by now, but not you. 

  You also had long ago noted the strange words.  Soulmate tattoos tended to fall into two categories.  The first were standard greetings, though you usually saw those on the older generations.  Then people started figuring out that they could more easily identify their soulmate if they greeted every stranger with a weird phrase before they began the proper greeting.  So those became the second category of tattoos.  

It wasn’t surprising to see people with things like movie quotes, random exclamations, things about purple unicorns, or ‘the sky is orange’, or “I wonder if fish get thirsty”.  One poor girl had “I can’t believe Dumbledore died” on her arm and cried when she first read Harry Potter and already knew that Dumbledore was going to die even in the first book, years before the sixth one had been written. 

You were pulled from your thoughts by your phone ringing.  Who the fuck called anyone anymore?  You grabbed your phone and looked at the display.  At least it wasn’t your mom, who was one of the few people who actually called. You didn’t feel like talking to her today.  Instead, it was your best friend.  You pressed the green answer button and lifted the phone to your ear.  “Hey Soph,” you greeted and started to pace your apartment.  You never could just sit still while on the phone.

“We’re going to see the movie today, right?  You promised!” Sophie replied.  She was always like that, always starting conversations like she was already in the middle of it.  

You hesitated and paced a couple more steps.  “I… don’t know, Soph…” you hedged.  “Isn’t seeing a movie about real people who are still living kinda weird?” You asked her.  She’d been begging you for months to see the Avengers movie with her when it came out.  She was obsessed with the team, as was pretty much everyone in the known world after the Battle of New York.  

“They’re superheroes,” she reminded you.  Again.  “Besides, we were all there and the actors are hot.  Please? You promised!” she begged.  The movie had come out that day and you knew she was desperate to see it.  

You sighed heavily into the phone.  “Fine, but you owe me,” you told her.

“I’ll buy the tickets.  And I’ll owe you a favor if the movie is bad,” she promised and you could hear the grin in her voice at winning.  “I’ll text you the details,”

“You already bought the tickets, didn’t you?” You asked, rolling your eyes.

“Months ago!” She agreed and cheerfully hung up.  

You couldn’t help laughing at your friend’s antics and went to find something to wear to go see a movie in.  You chose jeans, and on a whim, one of your Avengers T-shirts.  You had to admit to yourself that you were just as obsessed with the superheroes as the rest of the world. 

Soph texted you the movie information while you were changing.  You texted her back ‘You’re also buying me popcorn’

‘Fair’

At least she was being reasonable.  

She hadn’t found her soulmate yet either, which was why the pair of you hung out so much together.  People had a tendency to pair off with their soulmates, or other couples, once they found them.  Which got to be more and more lonely for those of you without your soulmates as you got older.  Dating… wasn’t really a thing after you experimented a little in high school and college.  Most people waited until they found their soulmate, anything else seemed like either… a waste of time or practice.  

You weren’t cruel enough to do either to another person.  

You grabbed your purse and headed out to meet up with Soph.  The theater was only a few subway stops from your apartment, but the weather was decent, so you decided to save the money and just walk it.  

Plus, you would walk past the Avengers tower as you did.  You couldn’t help feeling the allure of the place.  You always felt drawn to it, though you didn’t know why.  There was nothing for you there.  The Avengers lived there when they were in town.  Not much else was known about the place as it wasn’t open to the public.  Still, you were drawn there.  Drawn to the slim chance of seeing the jet coming or going, or Iron Man or Thor flying.  

You kept your distance, though.  The tower was no place for someone like you.  You had no powers, no abilities.  You were just… a normal girl.  

You glanced at the tower as you passed by that day too and saw nothing going on.  Though there was a fairly fresh Bifrost circle in the grass outside the tower.  Thor was back, it seemed.  You shook your head and kept walking so you wouldn’t be late meeting up with Soph.  

When you arrived at the theater, you saw the huge crowd waiting for the movie and looked around for Soph.  She was at the concessions stand getting your popcorn and drinks.  You made your way through the crowd to get to her.  “This place is packed,” you greeted her and took the drinks from her, letting her carry the giant popcorn you would share through the movie.  

“It’s opening weekend,” she replied easily.  “Glad I got our tickets early.  C’mon,” she said brightly and led you to the theater and your seats.  They were great seats.  

“Did you preorder these or something?” You asked when you were settled.  

She nodded “Yeah, the second tickets went on sale.  I wanted to make sure we could see it opening night,” she replied with a grin.  “I know you’re just as obsessed with the team as I am,” 

“You know me too well,” you grumbled with a blush.  

She laughed “I’ve only know you since the first grade,” she teased you.  You laughed and shoved her playfully as the theater was quickly filling up around you.

You settled into your seat and started munching on popcorn while you watched the previews.  You still weren’t sure what to think about the actual movie, and hoped it did the battle justice.  You’d heard that Thor and the team were heavily involved in making sure the events depicted were accurate.  You were about to find out.

The movie started and you watched with interest at the opening.  This part of the story you didn’t know.  The explanation of the Tesseract, then the events in the SHIELD base where they were studying it.  The portal opened and Loki appeared on the screen. 

You had to admit to yourself that the actor playing him was as hot as Soph had promised.  That was a good sign.  

Then he spoke.  His accent was beautiful, almost British, but with a deeper, more regal tone to it.  

But that wasn’t what made your heart stop.

Or what drew your gasp.  

The character’s, no not character, it was Loki, Loki was a real person.  And his first words in the movie were to Agent Barton while he held him in place.  “You have heart,”

The same words that were on your arm.

The same words that now glowed with the soulmate bond being activated.  They flashed with power, then the glow faded.  Suddenly, the words were no longer black, but looked like they were now tattooed in emerald ink with gold speckled into it.  

You have heart

Your soulmate was Loki?  Maybe it was just the actor?  

But no, you knew in your very being what that glow, what the colors and the words, what all of it meant.

Your soulmate was Loki, prince and god of Asgard.

Oh gods.

What was going to happen to you now?

[mydearesthrry]

places we won’t walk (chapter one) || peter parker

summary - the doors at midtown seem a little boring, but when you get introduced to someone you seem to remember, what happens when they seem to remember you too?

word count - 2.9k (wow shes gettin better!)

pairings - peter parker x fem!reader

warnings - like mild mention of s*xual assault, angst if you squint really hard, mj being a softy for you, mj being a lowkey bi, peter being stupid as always, y/n calling peter a colonizer.... thats it ok enjoy

a/n: so i know i last updated in october, but as u all saw i have a 25 days of xnas thing going on (PLS I WROTE THE A/N LIKE A MONTH AGO PLUS I FORGOT ABOUT THE XMAS THING DISREGARD) so pwww updates will be slow (as if they werent already omg) but the next chapter will be arriving hopefully, fingers crossed, on xmas eve or xmas! also, are you guys watching the new euphoria episode? also, i’ve stopped using the word ‘stuttering’, as it may be ableist, and i’d never wanna come off as insensitive. anyway lmao, enjoy chapter one, the trials and tribulations of hitting someone in the nuts.

also side note psa: biggest thank you to @blossomparkers for helping me so much w this chapter. i owe it all tooooo u lani yani. thank u for everything !!!!!

series masterlist | regular masterlist | series playlist

(gif not mine!)

when y/n y/m/n stark was in her early years, she was never aware of the impact her father would and did hold over her life, and in turn, the whole world. for the longest time, you’d always assumed that your father wasn’t real, and everything that had been told to you by malicious family members who were jealous over your father’s “successes” had been lies, and you had it believed yourself. no one would even think that you were tony stark’s daughter until it had been mentioned. tony’s snarky attitude had been a character trait that you’d gotten, and you always took pride in your humor and attitude.

the story of your mother and tony had been messy and all over the place. from a drunken hook-up followed by multiple days of morning sickness, to a surprise pregnancy test, the storyline of your parents had been.. well.. interesting to say the least. you never focused on your family’s history, solely based on the fact that you didn’t have two fucks to give about your family history, but you also never knew your father which was-- bizarre. 

when tony had found out about you, he claimed it was a drunken accident, a mistake, and one he made when he was “less responsibly a stark”, which was actually just some fucking bullshit, but he didn’t wanna admit that he hooked up with some random chick at a bar that he thought was hot.

since you had been raised by a mother who was barely there, you had to raise yourself. you were kinda street smart and book smart, and you were always smart when it came to books, because you were the type to want to learn-- unlike others.

when you were in your teen years, you had tabs on you and the media on you 24/7 to make sure you didn’t royally fuck up. the unwanted attention became too much when you started realizing that people didn’t want you for your personality, they wanted you for your title. but this was after you moved from brooklyn. nuvale and peter never saw you as some “movie star”, or some famous person in the media because you weren’t. but when you had grown to learn what your father did, he had forced you to not fuck up to maintain his-- somewhat okay reputation. 

you always wanted that superstar life, as a fantasy of course, but when you got to it, you realized the cliche-y-ness of it all. you’d idolized the famous women in the media-- idolized how they looked like. you realized fairly quick how fucked up the media truly is. you realized how things really aren’t as they seem. its not just the galas that look extravagant, or getting to wear a fancy new gucci outfit every night. it honestly was a whole bunch of other shit you wouldn’t even imagine. it comes with the no privacy thing- people stalking you in public, the death threats, so much shit that wouldn’t happen as common if you were just anonymous.

being an avenger (basically), your dad had natasha teach you the ropes; the basic rules of how to kick someones ass. it was a handbook that the women of the avengers had created, and it had all the rules and regulations of how to spar someone on the team, and basically how to righteously beat someone's ass up. it was never really something you found too important, but as you grew older, you realized that it was very important to know, especially since you were a girl.

despite your harsh remarks and snarky attitude, your father always knew how to hit a sensitive point in you that always managed to break you down. you never quite understood why he would want to make you feel worse about yourself than you already felt, but regardless, you always felt underappreciated by him. being a stark, you were expected to be a genius, get over the top grades, and constantly be able to keep up, but with your luck, you were graced with depression, social anxiety, and a 4.0 gpa. fun, right? 

wrong.

when you were 11, you had made friends with the kids in your apartment halls, and you learned that their names were nuvale jones and peter parker, and you were basically the golden trio. you were hermione, peter was ron, and nuvale was harry. which, now that you look back at it, makes much more sense than any other arrangement. you also had another friend, harry osborn, but once he moved away, there was no way for you to talk to him anymore. he had moved across the country to california, and from then, it was just you, peter, and nuvale. your best friends ha been there for you for what seemed like decades, although you only knew them for about three.

peter was the boy with the rosy cheeks who little 12 year old you would get butterflies in her tummy. or the type of boy to bring you an extra snack if you weren’t able to pack it the night before. he was the type of boy to walk you to the nurses office if you got hit with a dodgeball. he was the type of boy to fall for someone like you. but he didn’t. or so you thought. 

little prebubescent y/n was an awkward girl who thought the world would be on her side when she needed it the most, or that whenever you needed peter or nuva, they would be there. you didn’t think your best friend would stop talking to you after you had moved away. you were too naive to know that peter liked you, and you were too naive to know that he had liked you back, but you wanted to believe what your brain would tell you, so you decided to flush your feelings down the drain and forget about them, which, in hindsight, was a pretty shitty idea. who would’ve known?

your alarm clock blared loudly from beside you, causing you to let out a loud groan in protest. you hit the side of your head angrily, then whining and rubbing the spot which you hit. whines and loud sighs fell from your lips as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and pulled the covers over your head, knowing what would come next after you would try to snooze your alarm.

“good morning, miss stark, how could i be of service to you this morning?” friday’s voice echoed through your large bedroom. you peaked your eyes and forehead from beneath the covers, your eyes slowly starting to adjust to the light that was pulled through the big blinds which were now open. 

“mmm, fri, just tell happy to get the car ready, ill be ready in a few min- nevermind, tell him to get ready in thirty, im probably gonna fall asleep in the shower.” you croaked, taking your phone from the charger which was on your nightstand. you slipped on your bunny slippers and turned on the heater in your room, the draft filling your room with cold air throughout the night.

-------

once you walked through the large industrial doors of midtown’s cafeteria, everyones voices started to drop into sharp hushed whispers, making you roll your eyes and pull your hood up over your face. you pulled your airpods from your pockets into your ears and tried your best to avoid any and all eye contact with anyone you did end up coming into contact with. you walked over to the food bar where you grabbed a red school tray and plastered on your best smile to the lunch ladies who work oh so hard to make sure you all were fed. as you walked through the line, you could feel the intensified stares on you, making your back erupt in chills. you didn’t like to be watched, and the fact that you were a so-called celebrity didn’t help your cause in any way. 

“hey.” a low voice called from behind you. it was a girl with curly hair with gorgeous light brown skin, and a jawline that would cut you. you were almost astonished by her beauty, but you remembered the facade you had to hold, especially to strangers that you didn’t know.

“hey?” you asked unsurely, wondering if she was with the media or not. which was something that tended to happen quite a bit.

“don’t worry, i’m not with the press. you just seem interesting.” she said in a monotone voice, but still with a strong look of seriousness on her face. you giggled softly when your eyes locked and your faces went totally still, making the girl in front of you laugh as well. she held out her hand in front of you, while also balancing her tray and book in the other hand. you placed yours into hers and shook it, smiling when she told you her name.

“michelle jones.” she smiled, your throat getting a little tight at her last name, and you had to admit that it struck a little chord within you, but you quickly cleared it from your thoughts and introduced yourself as well.

“y/n stark. pleasure to meet you, jones.”

“pleasure to meet you too.”

“so, i get that you’re new here,” she started walking, inviting you to walk along with her. “what- what are you doing here? i mean i get you’re smart and all, but this is a nerd school; you literally could’ve gone anywhere, so, might i ask, why here?”

“hm, interesting question. seriously i don’t know. my dad and i don’t really get along so he makes the decisions and i tell him if i like it or not. which by the way, i’m gonna have to stay near you-- you’re the only one making this bearable for me right now.” you snorted, nudging your elbow to hers. 

“hm, daddy issues. great song, love the artists.” she smirked, making you shoot your head back in loud laughter, gaining some side eyed glances from a few people sitting at the tables around you.

“so, where are we sitting? i usually nev-”

“hey mj!” you were interrupted by a boyish laugh and hoots and hollers coming from a table two tables ahead of you. 

“jesus fucking christ. what? just because i got some and you didn’t doesn’t mean that you have to be that fuckin’ loud about it.” she grumbled, placing her tray down, slinging the backpack on her right shoulder beside her. you looked at her with a nervous but curious glint in your eyes. she gave you a knowing look which said, ‘just go with what i say’, making you nod in understanding.

“woah! holy shit! i m- i mean woah- nice to- nice to meet you!” the boy fumbled over his words, looking at you and michelle in disbelief, shaking his friends shoulder and poking at his cheek.

“nice cut, g. looks nice.” you said to him, giggling as you stuck your straw into the mini juice box.

“o-oh, thanks… g?” he said back to you, observing your looks with a confused expression written on his face making you giggle at his confusion. 

“peter! look! y/n stark is at our table!” he whisper shouted to his friend, making you look at michelle with a smile on your face and playfully rolling your eyes. she looked back at you, rolling her eyes as well, gesturing to her head as if saying ‘idiots’, making you giggle and turn back to them. 

“so, bowl cut dude, what’s your name?” you nodded to him, picking at your salad with the blac spork that was so cordially given to you by mj. 

“n-ned, ned leeds.” he smiled sheepishly.

“and you, colonizer, what’s your name?” you tapped on the table, alerting the boys attention. you could hear michelle and ned hollering and snickering from their seats, but decided to keep your poker face rolling. but i mean, how couldn’t you? the look on his face was absolutely priceless. 

“peter park- wait did you just call me a colonizer?” he cut himself off in his own sentence, looking at his other friends for confirmation, to which they nodded, still cackling at the fact that you had indeed call him a colonizer.

“peter park, hm?” you teased, ignoring the way you hesitated and ignoring the way your chest felt heavy when the name of peter was said.

“n-no thats not my name-” he said, tripping over his words, making you let out a chuckle. 

“i’m messing with you. with what you’ve given me, i could only guess your name is peter parker?” you rested your chin on your hand, engaging in the awkward conversation.

“yeah. thats my name.” he said more confidently, giving you a tight lipped smile.

“nice to meet you, parker.”

“you too, stark, my pleasure.”

----

after the small encounter with your new found friends, you had gone back to your respective classes, which meant that your next class had peter in it. after you had split up, you decided to get there early to avoid any commotion surrounding you.

as the boring class continued, you heard the loud clicking of high heels in the hallways, which had to be one person and one person only.

“stark,” someone shouted from the door which swung open. low and behold, in front of you was the prickly bitch, your principal, mrs cunningham. “come with me, eugene’s parents have requested a meeting with you and your father considering that you had just hit their son in the private areas!” everyone snickered and laughed. finally someone had stood up to flash’s shit. 

“y- you punched flash in the nuts? i thought that was just a rumor?” peter stuttered, looking at you in disbelief.

“yeah, the fuck was i gonna do? let him flirt with me? no. that bitch tried to grab my ass. i’m a stark, i was raised better than that.” you whispered to him, packing your bag as you did so.

“hm, guess you’re right. well, good luck stark.” 

“thanks parker.”

--------

once you arrived in the principals office, you saw what seemed to be his mother in one of the seats decked out in expensive pearls and diamonds. typical.

“little miss over here punched my son in the privates! i will not allow this to happen!” fuck. you thought; another one of those stuck up cunty parents.

“pfft, probably paid to get their son into here.” you muttered under your breath, playing with your protection bracelets incase anything was to ever happen.

“wHAT? mrs cunningham, i will not allow this child to talk about my son this wa-”

“hello! i was called in?” a voice interrupted, one you could only peg as your father.

“ahh! mr stark! you’re finally here!” your hilarious excuse as a principal said cheerfully.

“i am! and i am here to.. come and have a meeting about my daughter's- behavior?” he asked questiongly, already seeing the triumphant and cocky look on your face. he knew you weren’t at fault, and you were gonna lie your pretty ass out of it.

“well, mr stark, we have a student in the nurses room due to the actions of your daughter!” she looked at him menacingly. he shook his head with a smile on his face and walked over to you, grasping your shoulders in his hands.

“well kiddo, wanna explain what and why you did what you did?” he smiled, giving you two taps on your shoulder, already knowing what was next. you two had a pretty good acting schedule when it came to it, when in reality, you despised eachother.

“sure daddy! eugene had been hitting on me for several days now, and even found my private social medias in use to.. how can i say this, use me for my fame? he tried talking to me, very inappropriately on several occasions, and even went as far as to try and grab me in areas in which i find extremely inappropriate, without my consent, might i add, which doesn’t seem okay with me. does it seem exceptional to you, mrs thompson?” you asked, while only keeping your eyes on his mother.

“why, i am so sorry miss stark! his father will be in contact, i did not raise my baby to be this way! im sorry for any inconvenience he may have caused you!” she gasped, raising a hand to her heart. 

“it’s okay, i just request, may this never happen again? i would not like my privacy to be invaded, much less from your son, and can i please ask that he never try to hit on me, nor any girls at this school ever again? i can only imagine how many other girls this may have happened to, mrs thompson.” you sighed, your eyes filling up with fake tears. you reached up to touch your fathers hand, tapping it twice back, knowing that you both had just won.

“never again miss stark, once again, i am so sorry this happened to you.” 

“it’s okay. now mrs cunningham, shall we see our way out?” your father answered for you, looking over at the old white woman who looked like a piece of cheese. she could only nod in awe, giving you the cue to pick up your bags and walk proudly to the door.

“thanks i guess.” you muttered, pulling out your airpods once more, hoping to seal the conversation with your father.

“yeah yeah, no problemo.” he muttered back, avoiding eye contact and stuffing his hands in his  pockets. 

once you reached the door, you remembered that you had left something in your locker, and informed your dad that you’d be going back to get it. he all but nodded and looked back at his shoes before trudging to the car.

once you entered the seemingly halls, much to your surprise, you saw a scrawny teenage boy lifting open a set of lockers, which you didn’t even know was possible, and pulling out a red and blue suit. once you saw who the hands belonged to, your mouth fell agape as you gasped,

“peter?”

[lilallama]

(Sorry if I spell something wrongly lol) Idk, This is my opinion? Gryffindor, Jungkook. Hufflepuff, Taehyung & Yoongi. Ravenclaw, Namjoon & Jin. Slytherin, Jimin & Hobi??? I literally just searched the meaning of each house and just picked one based on the personality shown. Also, If you don't think this matches them, Sorry ;-;

[Don't worry, sweetie ^^. You don't have to apologise! 💕🍑]

Hoseok is a lot more two faced than I actually tend to show. The way he presents himself is mostly a mask. While he seems mostly calm on the outside, he's actually quite the opposite on the inside. Out of all the boys it'd be easiest for him to manipulate/influence Y/n (@bangtans-apollo Tae is quacking-) and he's aware of that. That's one of the reasons why they started the club 1. To protect Y/n, 2. The club concept came because it'd be easier to meet up and they would automatically get a clubroom and 3. Hoseok threatened to tell on them if they don't join, he'd make Y/n despise each one of them.

He is a strong leader (one of the Slytherin traits), I try to make him resourceful (but I am not myself so that might not shine through too much), he is definitely cunning. The whole ordeal with wanting to be with Y/n no matter what is pretty ambitious, I'd say. And lastly the traditionalism trait, he is very into tradition and has to keep his domestic fantasies with Y/n a secret. His parents raised him very traditional, he would hate it if (female) Y/n would ask him out first or would propose first and would at first frown upon his attention to (male or non binary) Y/n.

All in all Slytherin seems very accurate.

Now concerning Jimin; similar to Hoseok he too can be a two faced snake. He doesn't hide his true thoughts from Y/n or the boys, if anything he overshares sometimes (one time he started talking to Taehyung about some... rather inappropriate things concerning Y/n. That got his Y/n privilege taken away for a whole month). And despite practically pleading to be the "dumb bimbo" stereotype, he is surprisingly clever and intelligent. Before Highschool, before he made his first experiences with popular boys, he was a straight A's and B's student. Yet once he had his first boyfriend, he discovered that the people surrounding him typically preferred the dumb blondes. (He actually broke up with the captain of the football team for Y/n.)

He also sometimes displays ambitious, just in a whiney sort of way. Self preservation is definitely something. Unlike Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon or Jeongguk, he wouldn't let himself be killed for Y/n's sake. If Y/n were to be killed he would end up deluding himself into thinking a person who looks similar to them is them and would force Y/n's personality and style on them. Cunningness is 100% accurate. He's fake. He pretends to be a silly sweetheart who loves everyone but will spread rumours about you, blame things on you etc. and everyone believes him. His cunningness concerning Y/n is more whiney than anything.

So I do think Jimin fits Slytherin.

Namjoon was raised by strict parents who forbade him a tremendous amount of things and painted his world for him. It was engraved in his head, he was going to be the CEO of their company one day. Yet despite everything he still had a head of his own. Maye it was because if his high IQ that he understood that his parents weren't the only opinion in his life. Don't get me wrong, they still left him scarred (sadly literally, as his father once hit him bloody) and traumatised but not without a mind of his own. Ever since he was small creativity and originality was something he admired and loved. It was partly reason of why he fell for Y/n, their individuality, their mind, their heart, their soul.

We will not need to discuss intelligence, it's a trait he undoubtedly has. He is always willing to learn and showed interest in many different things before Y/n captured his focus. He is most likely one of the wisest members as he is aware of how twisted his love for them truly is (once again something I tend to fail at portraying) and tried to stop it when it started. But somehow that only made everything worse and by now he doesn't care anymore at all. When he was a child he used to be more openly curious than nowadays (as it caused him many punishments from his parents).

I feel that Namjoon would fit Ravenclaw.

Seokjin was spoiled all his life. His parents adored him, other kids adored him, everyone adored him. While he might've acted oblivious he knew that it's because of his money. Similar to Jimin, Seokjin changed when he entered high school. While he always was a pretty intelligent and well behaved student (still very arrogant though) he then became less concerned with studies and once made a teacher cry (that was before he met Y/n). He loves standing out as an individual, that includes making anyone change who crosses his path with the same outfit (not in school as they wear a school uniform. But outside, yes, he has that much power. Everyone knows Kim Seokjin).

As said before, Seokjin is far from stupid. He is a very intelligent individual but doesn't show the extent of his nolage. Instead aiming for a cool "Queen B" persona. He is witty with his comebacks (something I cannot write because I do not possess that superpower), he's quick with his words. He holds respect for people who are 60+ years old as he believes they've been through a lot in life already. These people have wisdom he could only gain by experience and that he respects (there is one very sweet lady that lives alone in a very big mansion a few streets away from his penthouse. He always visits her because he loves her genuine kindness. When he met Y/n she recently passed away and he saw a part of her in them).

Seokjin could qualify for a Ravenclaw.

Taehyung was raised by a very Christian family that he still cherishes very much. Because of their intense belief he was raised to worship. He never fell in love, so when Y/n crossed paths with his, he started showing love how he's used to it (Out of all the boys Taehyung is straight up insane. Something in his brain might be wired wrong, there is no explanation on why he likes them, on why he believed that's what love is because his parents treated him with normal, familiar love. So he is simply sick, there is no "saving" him. He's better of in a mental hospital). But he was always a very kind boy. Giving instead of taking, never wanting anything in return. Out of everyone, Taehyung was the one who welcomed new students and made tons of friends. But he grew out of it as his focus turned to art. He aimed to make his parents proud so he didn't have time for friends.

His loyalty is unlike any other. You could torture him half dead and he'd still forgive you, stay loyal to you, serve you. He is Y/n's servant. He works hard on improving his artistic abilities and also to maintain fairly good grades. For Y/n any labour he'd have to be put through would seem like a blessing. Another trait for Hufflepuff would be fairness and he surely is fair. As one of the least jealous members of the club he really only cares if Y/n's okay with what's happening or could get hurt (he always kets the other members have more privileges than he has because he believes it'd be not only greedy but prideful to want Y/n to hinself. He avoids any sin when it comes to Y/n, envy, wrath, pride, sloth, nothing will ever come near his modern day Jesus).

Taehyung definitely is a Hufflepuff.

If the boy who works two parttime jobs, to pay for rent, bills and food, cleans the shabby apartment by himself because his alcoholic mother is busy messing it up again, yet still treats his mother with kindness, only to be treated like trash by seven more powerful and successful guys in his school who all like the same person he does and still manages to maintain the position as intern and honour roll student at a prestigious school for roch people, isn't in Hufflepuff then I don't know what. This poor soul is incredibly sensitive and kind. He isn't judgemental (as he himself is used to people judging him). All round very sweet.

I think it's very clear that he's very diligent and hard working. He holds great passion for music and enjoys writing poetry, a very sensitive soul. Yoongi isn't someone to complain about something being unfair (cough cough Jimin cough cough) or try and steal Y/n away from them. His day dreams consist of imagining Y/n liking him back, but he is certain that would never happen (according to you guys, it seems a lot of you would pick Yoongi if you'd get to decide). Not only is Yoongi kind but loyal as well, he'd never imagine leaving anyone behind even his useless mother.

Yoongi is 1000% a Hufflepuff.

Jeongguk tends to be hot tempered, he goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. Everything in life seems like a challenge to prove he's better than others think (his father was a notorious serial killer who killed twenty one people yet got away with a ten year prison sentence and got released after six, ten months later Jeongguk was born). In truth he did not care for anyone else, only Y/n. So all tge chivalry he could muster was directed at them.

He is one brave guy who doesn't get easily scared (I guess living with as well as being a serial killer at sixteen years old desensitised him). Jeongguk is courageous just not in/for a positive way/purpose. He deluted himself into thinking that Y/n needs protection, HIS protection. He once attacked a teacher because they were helping Y/n with a question, that's very daring (more like stupid) just not in a good way. A (still not) more positive example of his daringness is when he wants to impress Y/n. He hung from a skyscraper for five minutes doing pullups, just to inpress them. One time he also jumped across his luxurious pool at home (and almost slipped, almost bashing his head in) just to prove that he can jump further than someone they talked about.

I could very much picture him as a Griffendor.

If you enjoyed reading my work, please consider reblogging it. Thank you for reading

[a-gorgeous-george]

Basic Questions

First name? Georgette

Surname? Foxworth

Middle names? Luciana

Nicknames? Gigi (by her     mother)

Date of birth? August     7th

Age? 22

Physical / Appearance

Type of clothes?

Georgette’s style is all about femineity and luxury. She wears a lot of dresses, a lot of skirts, but even her workout clothes are designer. She swears “cheap” clothes give her a rash – and who would want to mar her perfect skin like that.

How do they wear their     clothes? Tight and tailored.

What are their feet     like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn,     etc)

Georgette is rarely seen without heels on, and thanks to regular pedicures and lack of abuse, her feet are soft and pretty always.

Race / Ethnicity? Spanish     and Indonesian

Are they in good health?     Oh yes, she has a strict workout schedule and diet she sticks to… well,     actually, perhaps not, because alongside that she also lives a life of high     stress and nicotine.

Personality

Are they more optimistic     or pessimistic?

It really depends on the source of power in a situation. If it is something she has control over, she is optimistic, can’t see how something would ever not work out, but if someone else is in control, her view changes considerably and she is usually fairly certain it will fail.

Do they ever put on     airs?

When is she not putting on airs?

What bad habits do they     have? She has a serious nicotine problem.

What makes them laugh     out loud?

She isn’t really a laugh out loud type of person. She might chuckle or smile in amusement, but laughing out loud indicates a level of ease that she just does not feel around people. Also Al.

How do they display     affection?

She is very physically affectionate… I think. She has never been in a position where she felt comfortable being affectionate with a person in that way. Besides that, she shares her wealth in ways that benefit that people she cares about, shares her privilege with them. She is happy to be her friends’ sugar mama.

How do they want to be     seen by others? Beautiful and in control.

How do they see     themselves?

She very much sees herself as a lone wolf. She knows she’s beautiful, smart, capable, hardworking, but she’s alone and absolutely terrified someone will recognize it. She is also very much aware of her inner rage.

·       How are they seen by others?

Because of her past with her family and the lack of ties it provided her, Georgette was left defending herself. Her arrogance and obsessive need to believe in her own importance is directly tied to the lack of importance anyone else gave her.

Strongest character     trait?

For all her bravado and arrogance, Georgette is 100% unafraid of hard work. From her work on her blog and marketing it, her history as a beauty queen, her strict adherence to her diet and exercise routine, every aspect of her life, she has no issue knuckling down and putting in the time and effort to succeed.

Weakest character trait?

She is incapable of asking for help, as if it somehow undermines her own achievements if someone else must assist her.

How competitive are     they?

Extremely. If you want to manipulate Georgette into doing something, make it a contest. She’ll probably even know what you’re doing and still be unable to resist.

Do they make snap     judgements or take time to consider?

Snap judgements all the way, baby!!

How do they react to     praise?

Smug agreement.

How do they react to     criticism?

Strong commitment to your character’s delusion that she is anything other than amazing.

What is their greatest     fear?

Dying without ever achieving anything of substance.

What are their biggest     secrets?

Georgette is crushingly lonely. Her whole life has been spent pushing people away, trying to protect herself and prove herself, full of anger, and it has left her without anyone she can be close to.

What will they stand up     for?

Once her blog is up and running and successful, once the magazine starts to take off, she will have real issues with people saying she’s self-made. She is fully aware that even without her father’s money, her name alone carries a certain currency most people do not have. She is well aware of her own privilege in that area and will stand up against anyone who compares her achievements against someone who didn’t have that head start.

Who do they quote?

She’s a closet book nerd and might not quote directly but will frequently make allusions to literature.

Are they indoorsy or     outdoorsy? Indoorsy.

What is their sinful     little habit? Cigarettes.

What sense do they most     rely on?

Sight – how someone/something looks dictates more of her life than it should.

How do they treat people     better than them?

What people better than them?

How do they treat people     worse than them?

That seems like an unfair question when everyone is worse than them.

What quality do they     most value in a friend? She wouldn’t know.

What do they consider an     overrated virtue? Niceness.

If they could change one     thing about themselves, what would it be?

She would have people who cared about her.

What is their obsession?     Herself?

Friends and Family

Is their family big or     small? Who does it consist of?

Her mother and stepfather, father and stepmother, Jenny and Oliver (Yes, she considers Oliver as part of her family)

What is their perception     of family?

When she was barely cognizant of life, her father had an affair, had a baby, split up her family, quickly destroying the idea in her head. It is an outdated concept made to make people feel like belong to a group, no loyalty or love.

Describe their best     friend.

………. Let me get her just a friend first.

Ideal best friend?

Someone who understands her hustle. Someone she can see the inherent importance in. Someone that can still pull her out of her head and get her to have fun.

Describe their     acquaintances.

She is jealous of the closeness of Dodger’s gang, watching as an outsider and wishing desperately to be a part of it all.

Do they have any pets?

She is a massive dog person! (Get it?) But yes, she has a little doggo, Valentina.

Past and Future

What was your character     like as a baby? As a child?

Awful? Spoiled? She was raised spoiled, but after her father’s betrayal, she sought to teach him a lesson. Even as a child, she would blackmail and torture him, threatening to reveal his dirty secret to the world. She was worse to Jenny even, more easily able to take out her anger over the affair and her birth on the younger girl than the truly guilty adults.

Did they grow up     nurtured or neglected?

Neglected – but that is partly her own fault. She is as much at fault due to her reaction and actively hurting her family and her father. She lashed out and did truly awful things and crushed what bond there might have possibly been.

What is the most     offensive thing they ever said?

Oh, I don’t know… in my head, I feel like she can be a very problematic person. Add that in with her natural meanness, I am sure she has said some awful stuff.

What was their first     kiss like?

It was awful. Some other 7th grader when she was in 7th grade. Too wet. Thought he was trying to drown her.

What is the worst thing     they did to someone they loved?

Repeatedly blackmailing her father for her own benefit.

What are their     ambitions?

She wants to outshine her father, claim their last name as her own and not the sullied version her father left in the wake of his controversy. That is why her blog and future magazine is named after her.

What advice would they     give their younger self? It’s not Jenny’s fault.

What smells remind them     of their childhood? Perfume and peppermints.

What was their childhood     ambition?

Growing up, her mind stayed on the pageant world. Her ambitions usually stayed just one pageant ahead of her.

What is their best     childhood memory?

She doesn’t know if it’s real or not, just this soft memory of her father grinning and spinning around the living room with her, dressed in his coat and tails.

What is their worst     childhood memory?

Listening in from the hall as his father confessed everything to her mother, hearing her mother sobbing as he threw clothes into a suitcase.

When was the last time     they were crushed with disappointment?

The last one? She still hasn’t got over her first one.

Love

Do they believe in love     at first sight?

She only barely believes in love in any form.

·       How do they behave in a relationship?

Georgette really doesn’t do relationships, thanks to that whole “love isn’t real” thing. They usually last a month or so, but she gets bored and has no issue telling him to get lost after that point.

When did you character     last have sex? Perhaps a couple weeks ago.

What sort of sex do they     have?

She is looking for something hot, passionate, and with someone she doesn’t have to worry about calling back.

Conflict

How do they respond to a     threat?

Georgette doesn’t back down from a threat, though her means for fighting usually involves $$$ instead of doing any sort of fighting herself.

Are they most likely to     fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue.

What is your character’s     kryptonite? Point out her lack of backup.

If your character could     only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Say it     with me… diamonds.

How do they perceive     strangers?

Her trust or lack of trust in them is based solely on how they look.

What do they love to     hate? Oh, that is way too long a list to put here.

What are their phobias?     Bugs of any sort.

What is their choice of     weapon? Poison.

What living person do     they most despise? Her father.

Have they ever been     bullied or teased? That would not go well for that person.

Where do they go when     they’re angry? Home, to seethe and plot.

 Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current     job? Blogger.

What do they think about     their current job?

She has dreams of something bigger, more substantial, but she’s thankful for the success the gossip blog has had and excited to grow it.

What are their hobbies?     Painting, reading, dancing.

Educational background?     Some college.

Intelligence level?

I believe she is fairly smart, but her work ethic covers a lot of distance for her.

Favorites

What is their favorite     animal? Doggies.

What is the most     beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? Her face in the mirror.

What is their favorite     song? Ego by Beyonce

Music, art, reading     preferred? Ooooooh… probably reading

What is their favorite     color? Gold

What is their password?

Honestly it is probably a secure combination of letters put together by a professional.

Favorite food: Lasagna

What is their favorite     work of art? Judith and the Head of Holofornes

Who is their favorite     artist? Gustav Klimt

What is their favorite     day of the week? Saturday

Possessions

What is in their fridge?     A lot of water, veggies, meal prepped chicken

What is on their bedside     table? The current book she is reading, a bouquet of pink and white roses,     a gold lamp, a rose gold silk eye mask

Spirituality

Who or what is your     character’s guardian angel?

If she has a guardian angel, she would really like a word with it.

Do they believe in the     afterlife? I mean, she now knows Hades, so yeah

What are their religious     views?

Once you meet a god, you kinda realize which system of beliefs is the right one

·       How would they like to die? Painless and pretty

What is their zodiac     sign? Leo

Values

What do they think is     the worst thing that can be done to a person? Abandonment

What is their view of     ‘freedom’?

Able to make your way through life on your own two feet without having to rely on anyone else to support you.

When did they last lie?     Probably an hour ago

What’s their view of     lying? It definitely can make things easier.

When did they last make     a promise?

She doesn’t really bother. You either do things or you don’t. The rest is just extra words.

Daily life

What are their eating     habits? Healthy food prepared by a chef.

Describe their home.

Luxurious home in a gated community bought by her father.

Are they minimalist or a     clutter hoarder? Minimalist.

What do they do first     thing on a weekday morning? Drink a glass of cold water.

What do they do on a     Sunday afternoon?

She can be found putting the finishing touches on her blog post for the week.

What do they do on a     Friday night?

She can just as easily be found out dancing as home alone working.

What is the soft drink     of choice? She doesn’t drink soda.

What is their alcoholic     drink of choice? Merlot.

Miscellaneous

What or who would your     character dress up as for Halloween? Anything sexy.

Are they comfortable     with technology? She can do basic things.

If they could save one     person, who would it be? Jenny.

If they could call one     person for help, who would it be? Over her dead body.

What is their greatest     extravagance? Jewelry

What is their perception     of redemption? She hopes it’s real.

What would they do if     they won the lottery? It would change her life 0%.

What is their favourite     fairytale?

She isn’t really big on fairytales, but definitely prefers the darker original versions. So much more realistic than that happily ever after in love bullshit.

Do they believe in happy     endings?

She believes in the ability of a person to make their own damn happy ending.

What is their idea of     perfect happiness?

Surrounded by a family that loves her

If your character could     travel through time, where would they go?

She has it on good authority that life gets more uncivilized the farther back you go, so she’s good, thanks.

If they could have a     superpower, what would they choose?

Full on mind control. She’ll make you do what she wants and feel no guilt.

[pickalilywrites]

hi everyone!!! here’s the eretra au that a few of you might remember from my wip posts a few months (?) ago! i’m really excited about it, so i hope you guys like it. it’s very loosely based off a kdrama called big, although there aren’t very many similarities. i hope you guys enjoy it :) 

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My First Love Come Back to Me

Eretra. Big AU. 

I’ll Love You in the Rain or Shine Series: Chapter 1

12788 words. 

Read on Ao3!

Eren stands in the deli section of the grocery store staring down at the premade sandwiches that have, judging by the wilting lettuce and stiff-looking squares of cheese stuffed between dry bread buns, been sitting there all day after being passed over by other customers for more enticing premade meals like the colorful, little sushis in their plastic containers or the burritos so stuffed with filling that beans are practically spilling out of the tortilla wraps meant to contain them. He looks at one particularly sad-looking sandwich. Turkey chunks and droopy lettuce leaves are shoved inside a stale bread loaf. Tomato juice from the poor fruit that was cut to make this depressing sub bleeds out from the bun, dripping onto the plastic wrap that can hardly hold the thing together. A strange assortment of veggies also poke out from the bread - bright yellow bell peppers, chunky strips of carrots, and slices of onions - but they look as though someone has carelessly dropped them into the sandwich because they’re not even evenly dispersed through the sub. It is, Eren thinks, the most wretched sandwich he’d ever laid eyes on. 

It’s a little sad, the fact that Eren is spending so much time picking out something to bring to a family dinner that he would claim, if anyone bothered to ask, to not give a single shit about. And, really, he doesn’t, but it makes him feel slightly better about going to those miserable gatherings if he’s able to bring something he knows his stepmom will hate. Except she’s not really his stepmom. To be more precise, the woman is his father’s first and only wife - the bastard having never married Eren’s mother - and his half-brother’s mother. In all honesty, Eren can completely understand why the woman hates him. He is, after all, a constant reminder of his father’s infidelity. It’s not like Eren likes her either and, with all of the snide comments about his upbringing and disappointing career path (although Eren has no idea why that is any of her business), she hasn’t given Eren any reason to. 

Eren looks down at the sandwich again, leaning towards not getting it. As much as he would love to purchase it and slap it down on the dinner table with a cheerful smile, there are only so many times he can buy disgusting sandwiches for his family dinners. He really outdid himself last time with a self-made sandwich with all sorts of odd ingredients (blue cheese, coriander, tuna, onions, cherry tomatoes, the works) that had no business being slapped between the same two buns. He even remembered not to toast the bread buns. Apparently, the only thing his father’s wife hates more than sandwiches are untoasted sandwiches, but not everyone can afford a $300 panini press like she can. Apparently, any panini press with a smaller price tag can’t be called a real panini press. Eren only half-regretted his decision to bring the disgusting thing to his father’s house an hour later when he sprinted out of the house and biked half a block away to empty the contents of his stomach on the edge of a poor neighbor's sidewalk. No, a normal deli sandwich would be a step down from his previous contribution to family dinner, Eren decides. 

He walks up and down the aisle of the grocery store, taking his time even though he’s already a half-hour late for dinner. (He’s doing them a favor. Nobody in their right mind should be having dinner at five when the sun is still high in the sky.) His green eyes glaze over tubs of soup and plastic bins filled with salad. For a moment, he wonders if he should walk through the shelves of chips on the other side or maybe into the frozen food section so he can haul a tub of melting ice cream to his father’s house, but he wonders if that’s too petty. It’s probably best not to, Eren thinks with a grimace. He doesn’t want to ruin junk food for himself forever. 

In the end, Eren purchases a little tub of potato salad, hoping that it’ll be enough to piss off his Disney-esque sort-of stepmother. It’s not perfect, but he supposes it will do. It’s probably not as grotesque as the stuff he’s brought before, but he likes how simple it is. That woman’s definitely going to be miffed that Eren bought potato salad as if he cared so little that he couldn’t be bothered to spend a few minutes in the kitchen to make the same dish. He’s really going to enjoy seeing the vein on her forehead pulse when she sees him standing at the door with the potato salad. 

Eren thanks the cashier for ringing up his purchase, sliding two dollars into the charity box next to the register, and walks away with his tub of potato salad, whistling as he practically skips out of the grocery store. He hadn’t taken as long as he would have liked; there are still fifteen minutes before six and he had hoped he would burn enough time to arrive at six-thirty, but maybe he can take a roundabout way to his dad’s house, Eren thinks as he drops the tub carelessly into the front basket of his bicycle. He unlocks his bike with a click and pulls it off the bike rack before mounting it and pedaling away. 

Taking the direct route would be too quick. Eren quickly pedals across the road as soon as the road is clear and finds his way to the creek that cuts across the suburbs. It’s the same creek Eren used to play beside when he was a child. He fell in there once trying to catch a frog and his mom scolded him for being so reckless. It’s also the same creek that he frequented during the spring of his sophomore year of highschool when he was assigned to do a bug project, which Eren hated especially when the same project was no longer mandatory after his school cut the science department’s funding the year after. Eren doesn’t think he’s visited the creek ever since he graduated from high school. He blames it on college and summer internships taking up all his time and never really allowing him to return to his youth, but the truth is that Eren wouldn’t have sought out his childhood even if he had the time. 

It’s not that Eren had a terrible childhood. In fact, Eren would say that he had a fairly happy childhood. True, he grew up in a (mostly) single-parent household, but his mother was always patient and attentive to him even though he was a pain the ass about 75 percent of the time. Nothing incredibly significant happened. He didn’t win any awards and he never made the honor roll, but his mother was fine with it as long as he did his best. It was strange, but he got a lot more shit about his grades from his sort-of stepmom than he did from his own mother. He’s not particularly sure what his father thought about it. Eren’s father never said much of anything to defend him, but his father hardly said anything to him at all. It was kind of like not having a father at all, so it wasn’t really that surprising when Eren found a way to avoid his old neighborhood completely after his mother passed away after his senior year of high school. 

Eren hadn’t planned on returning so soon. Actually, he hadn’t planned on returning at all after he had left for college. He only came back the summer after freshman year, but he bummed it at his best friend Armin’s house and only ventured as far as Armin’s front lawn. The following summers he crashed at his ex-boyfriend’s house - an art student-turned-tattoo artist who somehow ended up setting up a shop in the city Eren and Armin grew up in - or Armin’s dorm when they were both working at their internships. Somehow, they ended up landing jobs back in their hometown because evidently the big city did not want them and they were too young and broke to go up against the universe. Maybe another day. 

It’s not that bad. Despite renting an apartment near his neighborhood, Eren hasn’t run into any childhood friends that might still remember all the embarrassing things he did as a teenager. He’s bumped into a few parents at the grocery store that would smile up at him and talk about how nicely he’s grown while reaching up to ruffle his hair. Other than a few childhood friends and the “family” he feels obligated to meet due to the biological bond he unwillingly shares with his father, Eren has successfully avoided most of his past. 

He pedals past his old middle school, zooming past the gates and grimacing as he remembers the less pleasant parts of his past - struggling with algebra, running a mile at seven AM, and the terrible school uniforms they forced on everyone in a strange attempt to boost standardized test scores. He’s happier when he crosses the street and is greeted with the lit-up shops - the convenience store where he’d happily slurp down slushies with Armin after school, the Chinese restaurant that his class would frequent every year for Lunar New Year’s, and the bakery store that always smelled of freshly baked tarts and pies. Eren’s pedaling slows as he approaches the bakery and he inhales deeply, his lungs filling with the scent of buttery baguettes and chocolate tarts. The aroma is so distractingly sweet. His mouth begins to water at just the thought of them, and Eren wonders why he hadn’t bothered stepping foot in the bakery since coming back. He’s about to stop his bike and pop in for a brownie or a lemon bar only to realize that he’s biking far too fast and about to crash into someone. 

“Shit!” Eren’s bike screeches as he swerves out of the way and he crashes into a pole so hard that he can feel his teeth rattle. He topples to the ground with a hard thud, groaning as he rolls over onto his side that didn’t get smashed violently against a pole. When he opens his eyes, he sees stars as well as the face of an old man that he had last seen a decade ago. Eren tries to sit up, but his side is throbbing and he can only clutch at his side, trying his best to suppress a groan so as to not startle the man he had nearly collided with. He gives the man a weak smile. “Hey, Mr. Ral. I haven’t seen you in a while.” 

The old man’s mouth, which was already open to begin with after seeing Eren’s embarrassing bicycle collision, falls open a bit wider. “A-are you … okay?” he asks after a while, squinting a bit as he looks at Eren’s face and tries to place a name to it. Eren doesn’t really blame him for not remembering who he is. It’s been quite a while since they’ve seen each other and Eren has grown up a lot since then.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little bump,” Eren says, laughing it off. He manages to sit up and pushes himself off the ground, standing up and brushing off the little pebbles that have managed to stick to his face and clothing. He picks up his bike, leaning it against the pole before turning to the man again. “It’s Eren, by the way.” He pauses, observing Mr. Ral’s expression. When he sees that the man doesn’t recognize him, Eren politely adds, “Eren Kruger. I’m Zeke Jaeger’s younger brother.” 

A spark of recognition finally lights up in the old man’s eyes at the mention of Zeke’s name. Eren’s not going to lie, but it kind of hurts. “Ah, Zeke,” Mr. Ral says fondly. Eren shifts from feeling hurt to feeling slightly jealous. “How could I ever forget him? And you, of course. You two used to play with my dear Petra back in the day.” 

Petra, a name that Eren hasn’t heard in years, and yet hearing it still makes him blush like a young schoolboy. He ducks his head, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck, and he prays that Mr. Ral doesn’t notice the sudden flush of his cheeks. “Yeah, it’s been a while. How is, ah, Petra doing?” he asks. He had meant to ask the question casually, but he stumbles over the words a little too quickly. 

“Petra? She’s well,” Mr. Ral answers with a smile. The corners of his eyes crinkle and his laughter lines deepen. He doesn’t seem to notice how flustered Eren is. “She just started teaching at the same university that Zeke is teaching at.” 

That’s certainly news to Eren. Zeke hadn’t mentioned that at any of the family dinners Eren had attended recently. It could just be because Zeke hadn’t run into her yet or it had simply slipped his mind, but Eren kind of doubts it. If Petra’s father knew, then it’s highly unlikely that Zeke didn’t know. As much as Eren wants to frown, he fights the urge to turn the edges of his mouth downward and gives Mr. Ral a thin but polite smile. “That’s great to hear. What does she teach?” 

“English,” Mr. Ral replies, his chest puffed out proudly. It’s endearing how much he adores his daughter. “She teaches some upper-division classes on creative writing and a few classes for freshmen on critical reading and writing.” 

Eren’s smile is more genuine now, more fond as he listens to Mr. Ral speak about his daughter. “Yeah, that sounds like her. She was always really good with words.” He remembers lazy summer afternoons lying underneath the shade of a tree and pretending he was sleeping so that he could listen to Petra talk to Zeke on the front porch. It wasn’t even that he wanted to eavesdrop. He just liked the sound of her voice. Eren wonders if it’s still as wonderfully soothing and soft as he remembers. 

“And what about you?” Mr. Ral asks, snapping Eren out of his reverie. The old man seems to ask out of polite obligation. It figures that he isn’t really interested in Eren’s life. After all, he hadn’t remembered that Eren existed until five minutes ago. 

“I just graduated a few months ago. I majored in child education,” Eren replies. He looks down feeling slightly embarrassed although he’s not sure why. It feels like a step down from Petra’s accomplishments. His sort-of stepmom would certainly agree. She enjoys rubbing Zeke’s doctorate in Eren’s face whenever she gets the chance. Eren clears his throat and adds, “I’ve been working at Liberio Daycare. It’s near Shiganshina Elementary.” 

It’s unclear whether or not Mr. Ral recognizes the name but he nods and reaches over to give Eren a pat on the arm, a grin on his face as if the old man is actually proud of him. “That’s good! Your parents must be proud.” He doesn’t notice the way Eren flinches and carries on. “It’s good to hear that you’ve been well.” 

“Likewise,” Eren says. His eyes wander towards the bakery. It hadn’t occurred to him to look for Petra before, but now that he knows she’s back in town he can’t imagine doing anything else. He half hopes that she’ll be inside, maybe clearing the display for the night or wiping down the countertops, but all he sees is a girl his age at the register munching on some lavender bars that hadn’t sold. Before he can stop himself, Eren finds himself asking, “Is Petra in?” 

“Petra?” Mr. Ral asks with his eyebrows raised. Maybe it does seem out of the blue that Eren’s asking. Petra was always more Zeke’s friend than Eren’s. Mr. Ral gives Eren an apologetic smile and a shake of his head. “I’m afraid not. She told me she was eating dinner at a friend’s house. I’ll let her know you stopped by. Maybe you two can catch up sometime.” 

Eren shouldn’t feel so disappointed, but he can feel himself deflating at Mr. Ral’s words. He really doubts Petra would want to meet up with him. It’s not as if they were incredibly close before. Still, he gives Mr. Ral a gracious smile and says, “That would be great! I should probably get going. I have to, ah, eat dinner…” His voice trails off and he looks to bike only to find the front basket empty. Eyes straying further, he finds that his tub of potato salad had rolled out of his bike basket and onto the ground where it lay pitifully. Thankfully, the tub hasn’t broken and the potato salad hasn’t spilled out, but somehow the salad looks even more pathetic than it did when Eren purchased it. It’s something Eren would have been happy about fifteen minutes ago, but it’s embarrassing now. Quickly, he goes to pick it up and drop it into his bike basket with the slim hope that Mr. Ral wouldn’t think much about it, but Eren has never been that lucky. 

Mr. Ral must find him pitiful because he asks, “Why don’t you take some dessert home?” He’s already heading back into the bakery, gesturing for Eren to follow him despite Eren’s protests. “If you don’t, they’ll just go to waste. Or into my employee’s stomach, and goodness knows that she’s already eaten enough desserts today already.” 

“Thank you so much, sir,” Eren says, humbly bowing his head. 

“Sasha,” Mr. Ral calls the girl at the register. “Could you ring up a few things for Eren?” 

The girl’s head snaps up at the call of her name, her cheeks filled with pastry and crumbs all over her mouth. “Sure thing,” Sasha says, gulping down the last of her lavender bar and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She walks over to the side, Eren following her on the other side of the counter, and washes her hands hastily. As she wipes her hands dry with the hand towel, she looks at Eren brightly and asks in a chipper voice, “Do you have anything you want in particular?” 

Eren’s eyes scan over the display, but he doesn’t really look at anything in particular. He just wants to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. He’s embarrassed himself quite enough for today. “Just … whatever you’d recommend,” 

“Alright-y,” the girl hums, taking a bag and stuffing it full with little tarts and tea cakes and croissants. Eren looks at her briefly, realizing that he doesn’t recognize her. She must have moved here sometime during the past six years when he wasn’t around. 

As Sasha finishes preparing the bag, Eren walks over to the register and gets ready to pull his wallet out but Mr. Ral walks over, shaking his head. “No need to pay for it,” Mr. Ral says. He reaches over the counter and takes the bag from Sasha, presenting it to Eren with a smile. “Consider it a treat. Really, you’d be doing me a favor just taking it. They would have gone to waste otherwise.” 

“Ah, thank you,” Eren says, his face flushing once more. He takes the bag from Mr. Ral with a small bow of his head. “It was great seeing you again, Mr. Ral.” 

“Likewise,” Mr. Ral says with that same crinkly smile. He walks Eren to the door, watching as Eren packs the desserts alongside his potato salad. “Take good care of yourself, Eren, and tell your brother I said hi.” He waves as Eren assures him he’ll do just that, returning to the shop only once Eren has biked away. 

This is not how the night was supposed to go. Eren was supposed to be wandering around the neighborhood with his potato salad before waltzing into his father’s house an hour late, his sort-of stepmother silently fuming at the dinner table while the family sat and waited for him. He hadn’t planned on bumping into his childhood crush’s father, and he certainly hadn’t planned on looking so incredibly pathetic in front of Mr. Ral. He can only imagine what Mr. Ral will tell Petra when she sees her dad tonight. Maybe something about how he grew up to be such a loser even though his half-brother managed to graduate with a Ph.D. and is now a successful anthropology professor at the local university. It’s not something that usually gets Eren down, but thinking about it now is making him feel especially miserable. 

Eren’s not sure why the thought of Petra knowing how his life is so embarrassing. He hasn’t spoken to her in years, so her opinion of him shouldn’t matter. And even if she did have an opinion of him, he’s sure it wouldn’t be unkind. Petra had always been nice to him even when he was a kid and just being an annoying third wheel to her and Zeke. When his childish admiration of her turned into puppy love and eventually evolved into a full-fledged crush, she never brushed him off or thought him annoying, although there was a chance that she just never noticed. He couldn’t blame her for that when Zeke, honor roll student and valedictorian Zeke, was always standing right in front of her. He wasn’t even surprised when they started dating. It was inevitable. And when they eventually broke up for some reason that Eren still isn’t quite sure about, Eren knew he’d never be able to compare so he never tried to pursue her. It’s not surprising that he and Petra ended up losing touch. 

As much as he would love to blame Zeke for it (and it would be incredibly easy for him to blame Zeke), he can’t. Maybe it’s strange that he doesn’t harbor a deep hatred for his half-brother. Their relationship has all the makings of a classic sibling rivalry - a complicated family history, stark differences in accomplishments, and affections for the same girl - but Eren could never bring himself to hate Zeke. Even if Zeke’s mother liked to hold all of her son’s accomplishments over Eren’s head, Zeke himself never bragged about them. In fact, he was quite humble and would even offer to help his younger half-brother if he was struggling with something in school. Oftentimes he would invite Eren to hang out with his friends even though their age gap made it a little awkward. He even remembered Eren’s favorite snacks and would make sure they were in supply whenever Eren came over to visit. If Zeke’s mother was an evil Disney stepmother come to life, Zeke was that one fairytale sibling that was kind to the tragic main character, so Eren had no choice but to like Zeke. Even when Zeke broke up with Petra and Eren couldn’t understand why, when Zeke told Eren that it “just happened,” Eren kind of left it at that and accepted that because he couldn’t imagine Zeke doing anything wrong. 

Could Eren be classified with an inferiority complex with regards to his brother? Probably, but most siblings can. Eren would have to challenge whether or not someone with inferiority complexes would admire their brother as much as he does, but they might in a weird way. Eren’s sure that he and Zeke’s relationship would still be complicated even if they didn’t have all the weird history with Eren and Zeke’s parents. 

Eren sighs as he flies down a dip in the road, letting gravity carry him down instead of pedaling. He really doesn’t feel like he’s in the right headspace for this family dinner. Usually, he lets all of that woman’s snide comments ricochet, but his armor has grown weak and he can just imagine her landing the right thinly-veiled insult, her words burying into his skin and hitting right where it hurts. For a moment, Eren considers calling the dinner off with an excuse that will be sure to piss his stepmother off — probably something about how he has to restructure his lesson plan for the upcoming week — but he glances down at the potato salad and bag of baked goods in his bike basket and realizes that he really doesn’t want to eat them all by himself. If he’s going to suffer, he might as well make the rest of his family suffer alongside him. And besides, he’s pretty much already at their house anyway. 

His bike slows as he approaches the white-picket fenced house. He takes the potato salad tub and the bag of baked goods before leaving his bike on the driveway, not bothering to chain it to the fence because nobody would want to steal the old thing he bought from a garage sale anyway. The sight of it lying in front of the house instead of properly locked up will be sure to piss off that woman too, which is just an added bonus. With a sigh, Eren marches up the front steps, shifting the food all on one arm so he can ring the doorbell. The familiar chime rings out, muted from behind the wooden door. A muffled voice mumbles something Eren can’t hear, but he already knows that the speaker has nothing good to say about him. 

The door is thrown open and Eren looks down to see his stepmother glowering up at him, blue eyes a raging storm. “You’re late,” she hisses. She doesn’t even give him a greeting; she just stands there in front of him silently fuming. Behind her stands Eren’s father. As expected, he says nothing to defend his son’s tardiness. The man just stands there, uncomfortable as he quietly observes. 

“Sorry, Dina,” Eren says, squeezing past his stepmother who makes an indignant noise. He dangles the food he brought in front of her face, rolling his eyes when she snatches the bag from him only to wrinkle her nose in disgust when she sees the potato salad. “I brought dessert, too. Do you want me to put it somewhere …?” 

Dina snatches the bag of desserts from him too, still huffing. “We have a guest tonight too. Do you know how rude you’re being?” she says, continuing to nag at him even though Eren has stopped listening to her years ago. 

Eren’s father gently grabs Eren by the elbow, subtly ushering him inside to avoid any more conflict but Eren yanks his arm away. 

“Well, maybe if you told me we were having a guest beforehand I would have showed up on time,” Eren snaps. He sounds angry as he says it, but he really does mean it. It’s one thing to be rude to his stepmother, but it’s another thing entirely to be rude to a guest he doesn’t know. He’d at least wait for introductions before deciding whether or not to show any manners. 

Before his stepmother can say anything more, Eren stomps off into the dining room where Zeke and the guest are waiting. He keeps his head down, cheeks burning, as he pulls out his chair - the one furthest from everyone - and slumps down into it. “Sorry, I’m late,” Eren mumbles, still looking down. 

“Eren,” says a deep voice that Eren recognizes as Zeke’s. Hearing the voice of someone other than his stepmother’s makes Eren relax a bit and he rests with his back against his chair, a little more at ease now. He can hear Zeke’s small smile as his half-brother asks, “Aren’t you going to say hi to our guest?” 

“Uh, yeah. Hi,” Eren says. His eyes flicker upward, first at Zeke who sits across from him, and then at the guest. He looks so quickly at first that he doesn’t register exactly who he’s seeing until he does a double-take, his green eyes widening as they take in the woman sitting there. It’s someone he hadn’t expected to see ever again, much less sitting at his family’s dining table, and he’s so surprised that he almost chokes. For a moment, he thinks it might just be a doppelganger, but there’s no mistaking the soft dimples that appear in her cheeks as her lips curl in a smile. “...Petra?” 

“Hi, Eren.” Petra’s voice is still as gentle and soothing as Eren remembers, the sound of it so honey-sweet that he feels his cheeks bloom a soft pink. There’s so much about her that’s different, but there’s so much more that’s the same. Her hair is shorter now, no longer falling right at her shoulder, but curling right under her chin in a short bob. It’s the same shade of ginger it was when he was a kid. If it’s under the right light, it would probably burn a fiery gold. Her doe eyes are the same pretty amber, sweet and dangerously entrancing at the same time. She’s even dressed differently, her button-up blouse and slick gray trousers such a departure from the casual jeans and t-shirts she wore ten years ago when Eren was still in high school. Eren feels horribly underdressed - his ratty university sweatshirt over a thin cotton tee and his ripped jeans are so shabby in comparison - but a glimmer of silver on Petra’s wrist attracts Eren’s attention to the charm bracelet she wears, jangling with charms that Eren remembers her collecting in her high school days, and he feels a little less like he’s meeting a stranger and more like he’s reuniting with an old friend. 

“How are you?” Eren asks shyly, his smile bashful. 

“I’m well,” she answers, and Eren feels himself melting into her voice the same way he did when he was thirteen. When she smiles, her head tilts ever so slightly to the right just the way it did when he first met her and her dimples deepen into her cheeks. “How are you?” 

“Good,” Eren answers because he doesn’t trust himself to string together more than a word or two at a time. He wonders if she realizes how he’s unraveling at the sound of her voice or if she’s as oblivious as she was the last time. 

“I’m glad,” Petra says, and the warm look Petra gives Eren reignites a flame in the pit of his belly that he had thought he extinguished long ago. Her head tilts a little bit more to the side, her eyes twinkling. “I missed you,” Petra tells him, and Eren finds himself in love once more. 

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

There are rules to dealing with your ex-boyfriend after you’ve broken up, Petra knows, but it’s been ten years and she figures that these rules can be bent. So what if the last time she saw Zeke she was broken-hearted, crying in the rain as he turned his back on her? She was younger then, her feelings out of control for someone who didn’t care for her nearly as much as she cared for him. And, sure, maybe it’s terrible that she never received the closure that she deserves, but she can’t hold a grudge against him forever. They work in the same university and cowering behind the nearest trashcan every time they meet doesn’t seem to be a viable option. Petra’s older now and so is Zeke. They’re mature. They can be friends like adults are after they’ve broken up, so the universe should be able to understand her accepting Zeke’s dinner request that evening even if her friends couldn’t. 

She only started to regret her decision when Zeke offered to drive her there after his classes ended - saving gas and the planet, he explained - and she agreed. Although Petra repeatedly told herself that it was a simple family dinner and that such an invitation was extended to Zeke’s other friends on occasion, she found herself sitting impatiently in her office, biting her nails down so close to the quick that her fingers started to bleed. Having to bandage her fingers as she waited did absolutely nothing to soothe her nerves. 

“I don’t see why you’re so nervous,” Levi tells her over the phone. He taught in the mathematics department, but they had met after Petra had nervously stumbled into the wrong building and into his office on her first day at the university. The man has a perpetual scowl on his face, and that very same expression had nearly sent Petra running until she weakly explained that she must have gotten lost and he kindly redirected her to the building her office was located in. She thought that was going to be the end of their interaction until he emailed her shortly after asking if she had gotten to her office alright. Finding him a kindred spirit, he had become her first (and sadly only) companion at the university aside from Zeke. “If you’re friends with him, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.” 

“Well, it’s just that I haven’t really seen him since we, you know, broke up,” Petra explains, but she doubts that Levi understands. She had told him her history with Zeke a few weeks ago after he asked her why she was so jittery at the faculty luncheon, but he didn’t have much of a reaction. It was sort of nice having someone to talk to that wasn’t as hyperbolically reactive as the rest of her friends, but it was also painfully difficult when Levi didn’t show her any sympathy. 

“You saw him last week when you were at the library to look for reference books,” he reminds her as if it were the same thing. “I don’t know why this dinner has you in a panic. You left me nearly a hundred messages while I was teaching class.” He hadn’t even replied to her texts, the bastard. He had simply left her on read until midnight before sending her a thumbs-up emoji to let her know that he had read her messages, which was not exactly the response Petra was waiting for. 

“This is different!” Petra insists, but she knows Levi will never see it that way. 

“You’re making this a much bigger deal than it needs to be,” Levi says. She can hear him scribbling something on the other end, probably correcting exams for his differential equations classes and marking a poor student’s paper in an abundance of red. “Either cancel or just go to dinner with him. You’ve had family dinners with him even before you guys got together right?” 

“Yeah, but that was back when we were kids,” Petra mumbles, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. 

“Then you’ll be fine,” he tells her. 

“You’re horribly unsympathetic sometimes,” she sighs. 

“If you wanted sympathy, you shouldn’t have called me,” Levi says with a cluck of his tongue, but he chuckles when he hears her groan on the other end. “Really, it’ll be fine. You’re just overthinking it. I’m sure it’ll be fine. And you said the kid will be there, right? His brother, so it’s not as if you’ll be alone with Zeke and his parents.” 

Petra lays with her head on her desk, her phone pressed against her cheek. “Yeah, you’re right,” she mumbles, but her lower lip still sticks out in a pout. The thought of Eren being there, sweet little Eren with his eager puppy eyes and wide smile, does make her feel better if only a little. She probably hasn’t seen him since she broke up with Zeke. She wonders if he’s changed very much. He’d be in college now? Or maybe he graduated. “I haven’t seen him in awhile though. What if he hates me now?” 

“You’re overthinking again,” Levi says. He sighs on the other end. If Petra didn’t know him very well, she would think she was bothering him, but he’s always like this. “Are you going to be okay?” 

“Yes. No. Maybe,” Petra sniffs. She looks sadly at her bandaged fingers and picks at the ends of one of them. “Should I just cancel? Maybe I can tell him I fell down the stairs and had to go to the hospital or something -” Someone knocks at the door and Petra lets out a startled yelp, nearly falling out of her chair because she’s so surprised. When she looks at the door, she sees Zeke’s silhouette against the frosted glass pane. The sight of it makes her want to hide behind her desk. “God, he’s here already!” 

“Too late for you to run then,” Levi says, not even bothering to hide his snickering. He’s such a sadist that Petra doesn’t even know why she’s friends with him sometimes. “Have fun at your absolutely normal dinner with your friend and his family.” Click!

“Asshole,” Petra mutters under her breath before shoving her phone in her bag. There’s another knock at the door — the same long, slow knocks that are a signature of Zeke’s —  and she hastily shouts, “I’ll be right there!” before shoving her papers in her bag and stumbling out of the door, nearly tripping over her own feet in the process. She must look like a mess because Zeke raises an eyebrow at her when she emerges from her office. Petra catches a glimpse of her reflection in the window and winces at her frumpled shirt and the hair falling out of her bun. She mumbles an apology as she pulls the hair ties out of her bun, her hair falling in loose curls around her face. 

“Did I catch you at a bad time?” Zeke asks. 

“No! God, no,” Petra says, inwardly cringing at every word that comes out of her mouth. Even she can tell how awkward her responses sound, a little too quick and desperate. What is she being so anxious for? It’s just dinner with a friend —  an ex-boyfriend, but a friend nonetheless. Petra clears her throat and asks as casually as she can manage, “How are your parents?” 

“Hmm? They’re well, I suppose,” he answers. Everything about him is familiar. He’s grown just a bit taller since Petra last saw him, his shoulders a bit broader and his jawline a bit sharper, but he still wears the same double-bridge glasses and the right corner of his mouth still quirks upward just the slightest bit when he speaks. He even walks the same way, his strides a little too long and quick, and Petra finds that she still has to struggle a bit to keep up. If Zeke notices the same thing about her - how she still wears the same shade of lipstick, how she still has that habit of wrapping her hair around her finger when she’s nervous like she’s doing now, how she bites her lip when she’s not sure what to say next - he doesn’t mention it. “My father’s still working at the hospital with my grandfather. He’s been promoted to director of the orthopedics department.” 

“Oh, congrats!” 

“And you know my mother has been at the hospital now that she doesn’t have to worry about me anymore,” Zeke says. It’s strange how casually he says this, as if he doesn’t remember that the last time he spoke about his mother to Petra was when they were still together. “She really missed being in the OR. Says she’d rather be doing surgeries all day than taking care of me.” 

“It’s nice that she can go back to it.” She nearly stumbles over a step but catches the railing before she can. When she looks up again, Zeke is already on the sidewalk and she hurries after him, a little breathless. “And Eren?” 

“Eren?” Zeke seems a little surprised by the question although Petra doesn’t know why. He leads her to a car - a slick Mercedes with a shining blue exterior and tinted windows that don’t quite match Zeke’s academic profession —  and opens the car doors with a click. 

“Your brother,” she clarifies as Zeke walks over to the driver’s side and slips into the car. She opens the passenger car and slides into the seat beside Zeke, setting her bag down next to her feet. The door swings shut behind her. “He’s coming to the dinner too, right?” 

Zeke turns on the engine and the car comes to life with a pleasant hum. “Most likely,” Zeke says as he checks the side and rearview mirrors before pulling out of the parking space. He even drives the same way, his arm resting on the side with his hand tapping against the door while one hand is on the wheel. Just watching him makes Petra’s chest feel tight. 

“Ah, that’s good. I haven’t seen him in so long,” Petra says. For some reason, knowing that Eren will also be there makes her feel a little more relaxed about the dinner. “Is he still in college? I think he should have graduated by now.” 

“He graduated a little while ago. He’s teaching now. Still on probation, but he says his colleagues like him so he’s not too worried about getting tenure after the probationary period is over.” He slows the car to a stop at an intersection and leans over, fiddling with the radio dial. He sets it to the jazz station and the sound of smooth brass and relaxed percussion fills the car. 

Somehow, driving down the streets with Zeke is far more nostalgic than it ever was when Petra drove on her own. Some nights Petra drove home by herself, and all it ever felt was lonely. Maybe it’s the familiarity of having Zeke beside her like when they were teenagers, driving back home after watching a movie downtown or returning from a basketball game at their high school. 

Petra doesn’t ask any more questions about Zeke’s family. She figures she can catch up with the rest of the Jaegers when she sees them at dinner. Instead, she asks Zeke about his classes and finds that conversation with him comes more easily after she stops stumbling over her words. He tells her a little bit about teaching anthropology (“Far less painful than you think it would be, at least when the kids aren’t just taking it to fulfill their core classes,” he says), his plans for the upcoming week (“It’s midterms, but the students should be fine if they actually look at the study guide.”), and the butterfly exhibit opening up at the museum downtown (“I’m thinking of putting it up as extra credit. Who knows, they might actually look at the other exhibits while they’re wandering around.”). Petra also fills him in on her own life, mumbling about how she still has to make the answer key to her own midterm and expressing interest in the butterfly exhibit Zeke mentions. 

They pull up next to Zeke’s house, the very same one he grew up with. Not much has changed from the outside. The white picket fence is a little worn and the rose bushes have been replaced with peonies. The house is still the same shade of cream, but Petra is sure that the Jaegers had it repainted over the summer like they usually do. She looks up at the second-story window where Zeke’s room should be and vaguely wonders if it’s still his room or if he’s moved out and hasn’t mentioned it yet. 

Walking up the brick steps to the door is a bit surreal. Petra doesn’t realize just how silent she’s been until the chime of the doorbell startles her and Mrs. Jaeger opens the door. As with most of Zeke’s family members, Petra hasn’t seen Mrs. Jaeger since she broke up with Zeke, but she had an amicable relationship with her. She can’t recall Mrs. Jaeger ever being angry, so she’s surprised when Zeke’s mother opens the door with a terrible scowl on her face. 

“Mom, you remember Petra,” Zeke says, moving aside so that Petra can enter first. 

The scowl quickly slips from Mrs. Jaeger’s face, replaced with a smile that Petra is more familiar with. “Petra, of course! I haven’t seen you in ages,” Mrs. Jaeger says, her voice strained. She waves Petra and Zeke in, shutting the door gently behind them. “It’s nice to see you again.” 

“Likewise,” Petra mumbles. She looks at the kitchen doorway where Zeke’s father leans and gives him an awkward wave. The man, just as silent as he was when Petra was young, gives her a polite smile and a nod in acknowledgment. 

“Sorry, we’re a bit late,” Zeke apologizes as he shrugs off his coat. He walks over to the dining room, Petra and his mother trailing behind him. “A student wanted to talk to me and it took a bit longer than I thought it would.” 

“No need to apologize! Eren hasn’t arrived yet anyway. He’ll probably be late. Again.” There’s a harsh tone in Mrs. Jaeger’s voice that Petra hasn't heard before. When she looks up, she sees Zeke’s mother hovering around the table and arranging dishes, the same polite smile on her face as she does so. “Your brother, of course, didn’t bother to send a text to notify us that he’d be late.” 

Petra wonders if Mrs. Jaeger usually speaks about Eren with such disappointment in her voice. Maybe she had always spoken about Eren like this and Petra had never been around to witness it or maybe it’s something that developed while Petra was away. Whatever it is, Zeke and his father seem used to it. Zeke merely shrugs, pulling out his phone to flip through his phone while his mother continues to mutter about how disrespectful her stepson is. Mr. Jaeger continues to stand at the doorway, not bothering to join them at the dining table, his eyes fixed on the carpet. He doesn’t bother to defend his son. 

“Maybe he’s busy,” Petra says, interrupting Mrs. Jaeger mid-rant. She feels rude for speaking while Mrs. Jaeger is talking, but sitting in silence while Zeke’s mother speaks ill of Eren doesn’t feel right either. All eyes are on her now - Mrs. Jaeger a little surprised, Zeke with an eyebrow quirked upward as if in amusement, and his father with a look that’s almost relieved. Petra clears her throat and continues. “He’s a teacher, right? It must be difficult teaching so many children every day — making the lesson plan and everything. Maybe texting slipped his mind. He’ll probably be here soon.” 

God, she hopes Eren will be here soon. Her cheeks are starting to burn bright red and she’s thinking that perhaps speaking up might not have been the best decision. 

“Ah, you’re probably right.” Mrs. Jaeger seems a little more composed now, perhaps remembering that they have company over. She settles down in the chair across from Zeke and flashes a pleasant smile at Petra. “He can be quite forgetful of these things. Of course, you’d never worry your father like this. You’ve always been so responsible.” 

Has talking with Zeke’s mother always been this difficult? Petra’s head is starting to spin, unsure of what response would be appropriate. She feels as if she should defend Eren, but she doesn’t want to make things awkward either. In the end, she smiles awkwardly at Mrs. Jaeger as if accepting the woman’s compliment and reaches out for the glass of water in front of her, raising it to her lips before she can say anything else that she might regret. 

“Dear, come sit next to me,” Mrs. Jaeger calls. She gestures for her husband to join them at the table and Mr. Jaeger stiffly walks over from the doorway before taking a seat at the head of the table. Mrs. Jaeger folds her hands on the table, her gaze still on Petra. “How have you been, Petra? We haven’t heard from you in a while. How long have you been back?” 

The series of questions leave Petra tongue-tied and unsure of how to answer. It’s so strange how casual the Jaegers can be about asking after her, like she hadn’t been such a large part of their lives — or at least Zeke’s life — ten years ago before disappearing completely. As if they didn’t know the real reason she hadn’t kept in touch. She’s not sure if she’ll ever be able to act as oblivious as them. 

“Er, I’ve been back for a while now,” she replies. She bites her lip when she sees the look of surprise on Mrs. Jaeger’s face. When she glances over at Zeke, he doesn’t look back at her. He’s returned his gaze to his phone screen, ignoring her. Nervously, she laughs. “I guess Zeke didn’t tell you, but I’m teaching at the same university he is. A few undergraduate English classes and then a graduate course on nature and romantic poetry.” Petra doesn’t know why she feels a lump at the back of her throat or the sting of tears at the corner of her eyes. She nibbles at her lip again, looking down at her lap so that she doesn’t have to look at Zeke or his family. She doesn’t have a reason to feel hurt or upset. Maybe Zeke was busy and didn’t have the chance to mention it to his parents or maybe it just slipped his mind. It isn’t a big deal. 

“Oh, that must be nice!  Who knew you two would be working together after all these years?” Mrs. Jaeger says. She subtly pushes the cheese plate on the table towards Petra, gesturing for her to take one. 

“Mmm,” Petra says, nodding as if she agrees with Mrs. Jaeger. It’s not as if she’s wrong. Petra certainly didn’t know any of this would happen. She knew some of it would — getting her degree, teaching at a university, eating dinner with Zeke’s parents — she just hadn’t predicted other things like Zeke breaking up with her, not speaking with him for ten years after knowing him her entire life, or having to pretend that she’s okay. 

Petra reaches for a cracker and a spread of raspberry goat cheese and shoves the entire thing in her mouth, hoping that she won’t have to answer any more questions. 

“The university is nice,” Zeke’s father murmurs. It’s the first time he’s spoken all night. The sound of his voice startles Petra, but the other Jaegers don’t seem too surprised. “It’s near the museum too. Very convenient.” 

“Ah, the museum!” Mrs. Jaeger clasps her hands together and looks at Petra expectantly. Petra nearly chokes on her cracker out of nervousness. “Have you been there yet?” 

“Er, not yet,” Petra says hastily, wincing at the pain in her throat. She takes a quick sip of her water to relieve it. “I haven’t really found the time, I guess.” 

“Oh, you should absolutely go!” says Mrs. Jaeger brightly. Petra had never thought Mrs. Jaeger was one to love museums, but there’s probably a lot about the woman that Petra doesn’t know now. All Petra really remembers about the woman is that she stayed at home during the daytime and worked at the hospital at night. She’s bound to have found other ways to occupy her time now that she doesn’t have to worry about Zeke anymore. 

“You sound as if you really enjoy it.” Petra nibbles at another cracker. She feels as if she should smile right now, but she’s not sure if she’s able to. “Are there any exhibits you would recommend?” 

“Oh, they’re all good! The staff especially …,” Mrs. Jaeger gushes, but her voice begins to trail off. Her eyes flicker over to Zeke as if waiting for a sign to proceed, but her son pays no attention to her. He simply reaches over for an almond on the cheese plate and pops it into his mouth. His mother’s smile tightens and she continues, “The butterfly exhibit that’s opening soon should be exquisite!” 

Petra looks from Zeke to Mrs. Jaeger. Aside from Mrs. Jaeger’s forced smile, Petra really can’t tell what’s wrong, so she puts on a false smile of her own and nods. “I know. Zeke was telling me about it on the ride here.” 

There’s a long and awkward silence. Zeke puts no effort in speaking and neither does his father, who still sits and stares at his lap. Only Mrs. Jaeger and Petra seem to be putting in any effort to pick up the conversation, both trying to appear calm as they search for some common ground to work with. Instead, the doorbell rings and Petra swears she hears a sigh of relief escape Mrs. Jaeger’s lips. 

“It seems Eren has finally arrived,” Mrs. Jaeger says, her chair scraping across the floor as she gets up from the table. As she turns to leave, she flashes Petra an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry you had to wait so long.” Petra is about to tell her that it wasn’t a problem, that she didn’t mind waiting (even if it was a lie), but Zeke’s mother has already disappeared into the next room with Zeke’s father following silently behind her. 

For a moment, Petra wonders if she should try to talk to Zeke so more. It’s not that the quiet bothers her, but she’s never felt comfortable sitting silently next to others unless she was completely comfortable with them. Ten years ago this would have been fine, but now sitting with Zeke beside her without saying a word is making her skin crawl and her throat dry. She glances at him from the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his interest. 

Zeke doesn’t seem to be bothered by the silence at all. He’s still scrolling through his phone, occasionally reaching out to pluck a cracker or another almond from the cheese plate. If he’s fine without any conversation, Petra figures she shouldn’t bother him. She settles down with her back against her chair rather unhappily and tries to occupy herself another way. 

Petra tries not to eavesdrop on the conversation going on in the other room. First, she stares down at the lace tablecloth, gazing at the delicate pattern until the floral designs are burned into her corneas. Mrs. Jaeger’s voice begins to drift into the dining room, her tone just as cold and harsh as it was when she spoke about Eren earlier this evening. Another voice floats into the room as well, a voice like Eren’s but a bit deeper and rougher than Petra remembers. As the two continue to talk, Petra finds herself straining to listen to the conversation, but she can’t quite make out the words. The words exchanged don’t sound incredibly pleasant though. 

“...if you told me we were having a guest beforehand I would have shown up on time,” Eren hisses as he walks into the room. He’s taller than he was when Petra had seen him last — probably as tall as his brother if not taller — but he walks with his head down and doesn’t seem to notice Petra seated at the table even as he pulls out a chair to sit down. Without looking up, Eren mumbles, “Sorry, I’m late.” 

Zeke looks up, his expression amused. “Eren,” he says, setting down his phone for once. He rests his chin in his hand, mouth quirked upward in a smile. “Aren’t you going to say hi to our guest?” 

“Uh, yeah. Hi,” Eren says, mumbling into his lap. His eyes flicker upward, first at Zeke and then Petra, but he doesn’t really register who Petra is until he takes another glance. His eyes are huge like a doe’s. He’s always had big eyes even when he was a child, large and green like gemstones. He’s grown into them more since the last time Petra has seen him, but they’re still enormous, growing wider as he recognizes her. His mouth falls open in surprise. “... Petra?” 

She can feel her lips curling in a smile. “Hi, Eren.” 

Eren smiles back at her, a little nervous but a lot more relaxed than he was when he first arrived. He’s still shy when he smiles, looking up at her before glancing down at his lap again. “How are you?” He sits up straighter in his seat, no longer slouching. 

“I’m well. How are you?” 

“Good,” Eren answers.

“I’m glad. I missed you,” Petra tells him, and she means it. 

His smile is a little wider now and Petra feels the most relaxed than she’s been the entire night. It’s nice to know that, despite everything, at least Eren hasn’t changed and she feels less awkward being at a Jaeger family dinner after ten years of estrangement. 

Mrs. Jaeger puts down a tub of what looks like a potato salad on the table, opening the container with a frown. “At least you didn’t come empty-handed,” she comments wryly. 

Eren winces but doesn’t say anything. 

Petra sits up. “It looks, um, delicious.” It doesn’t. It looks like a pile of mush and not at all like anything edible, but Petra begins to spoon some on her plate anyway out of politeness despite the look of alarm on Eren’s face. “Eren, your brother told me you started teaching recently. Where do you teach?” 

“Just, um, down the street. Not really elementary … it’s a daycare,” he says distractedly as he watches her help herself to his potato salad. Eren hesitates for a moment before taking the spoon from Petra and switching their plates. He does it absentmindedly, almost as if he doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he notices everyone looking at him peculiarly. Flustered, he explains, “It’s not, ah, I don’t think it’s very good. So.” As if to prove his point, he puts a heaping spoonful of it into his mouth, gagging on it as he swallows it down, and scrunches his face up in disgust. 

Mrs. Jaeger looks rather smug as Eren chokes. “I’ll just put this away then,” she says, removing the tub of potato salad from the table. She gestures for Petra to help herself to the other food on the table. “Help yourself to everything else, Petra.” 

“Er, thank you,” Petra says. She does feel bad about not eating the potato salad, but Eren looks pretty relieved. Because she’s talked Zeke’s ear off in the car and doesn’t know how to carry on a conversation with the Jaeger parents, she decides to continue her conversation with Eren. “Daycare seems like it would suit you. I bet you’re great with kids.” 

“I’m alright,” Eren mumbles as he pushes the potatoes back and forth on his plate, but he’s hiding a smile on his face, secretly pleased. He’s never been that good at hiding his emotions, which Petra thinks is an endearing trait. “Teaching at a university is probably harder.” He freezes for a moment and then hurriedly adds, “Your dad told me you work as a professor now. I ran into him before coming here. He mentioned that you taught English …?” 

She doesn’t say anything for a moment, casting a side glance at Zeke. She thought Zeke would have mentioned that they were working at the same university, but maybe it never came up in conversation between the brothers or they just weren’t as close as they were before. Forcing a smile on her face, she nods, “Yeah, I teach English, but I wouldn’t say teaching university is more or less difficult than handling a daycare. They have their own challenges, right?” 

“Yeah,” Eren replies, voice soft. His smile grows wider and, after Petra asks him about what it’s like teaching at the daycare, starts animatedly talking about his students. He seems very endeared towards a young girl named Gabi, a very mischievous but sweet troublemaker, and her companion Falco, a young boy that often has no choice but to be dragged into all of Gabi’s shenanigans. 

Talking to Eren makes the rest of the dinner go by easily. He’s always been easy to talk to even when they were teenagers and she was dating Zeke. Sometimes she would wait at the Jaeger house and talk with Eren while they waited for Zeke to come back from baseball practice. Eren was always so animated when he talked, using his hands and sometimes bouncing up and down his seat when he got excited. He still does that now as he talks about his work at the daycare, listening intently whenever Petra or even Zeke exchange their own stories about teaching. It makes her feel as if the past ten years hadn’t really happened, like Zeke and Eren had been a part of her life the entire time. 

“Oh, I brought dessert,” Eren says brightly. Before Mrs. Jaeger can say anything, he gets up to collect the paper bag on the kitchen counter and plops it on the dining table. He pushes it closer to Petra. “Your dad gave me some while he was closing up his shop.” 

She laughs. “I eat too many of these as it is,” Petra says, but she plucks an almond cookie from the bag. Her teeth sink into the cookie, savoring its subtle nutty flavor on her tongue, and sighs. “Don’t tell my dad. He won’t let me eat anymore when I get home.” 

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Eren grins. 

Petra peers into the bag. “Did he give you any chocolate croissants?” She looks over at Eren. “Those are still your favorites, right?” 

Eren looks surprised. “Ah, yeah,” he replies, blinking. “You remember?” 

“Of course, I remember,” she snorts. She manages to find a pain au chocolat and places it delicately on Eren’s plate. It’s a little smooshed from the ride here, chocolate spilling out of its side, but Eren still looks at it hungrily. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

Zeke leans forward. “I like the lemon bars. Let me know if there are any in there.” 

She laughs and actually does manage to find one, but it’s a lemon-lavender bar. Zeke assures her it’s fine, picking off the little bits of lavender that are on the top of the bar. They eat like that for a moment and Petra feels an overwhelming wave of nostalgia. It’s probably unhealthy to yearn for the past, but Petra wouldn’t mind if things somehow ended up the way they were before. 

When their dishes are scraped clean and the conversations begin to fade away, Zeke pats down the corner of his mouth with a napkin before announcing that they should stop for the night. He has papers to grade tonight, he explains to his parents who nod understandingly. The wooden legs of his chair scrape against the carpet as he gets up from the table and Petra slides out of her own seat, ready to follow him. 

“Ah, Petra,” Zeke says, pausing like he’s just remembered. He looks at her, head tilting slightly. He’s stopped by the door to the living room, his hand resting on the doorframe. “Do you mind calling an Uber to pick you up? I’d drive you home myself but …” 

“I …” Petra blinks, feeling like a deer in headlights. If she looked around, she would see that the rest of the Jaeger family has a similar expression. She’s not sure why she feels so surprised. Maybe it’s because she had expected him to drive her home, but maybe that was too much to ask of him after he had taken the trouble to drive her here in the first place. It’s not even that far of a drive to her house, but it’s probably too cumbersome for Zeke, who’s busy with grading papers and preparing for tomorrow’s lectures. There’s an awful lump in her throat like she had swallowed an egg whole, but Petra forces a smile on her face as she begins, “Sure, let me just call my dad -” 

“I’ll take you home,” a voice says suddenly. Everyone turns to see Eren standing up from his chair. At first glance he looks angry, but Petra blinks again and there’s only concern on his face as he collects his jacket and walks over to Petra. He shrugs it on and smiles down at her, his expression a little apologetic. “Er, you don’t mind riding on a bike, do you?” 

Petra has to lift her head to look at Eren and she wonders when he had gotten so tall. It must have been after she left for college. “No, that’s fine,” she replies numbly, too shocked to really think about it. She shuffles silently after Eren, mumbling a brief “thank you” when he helps her into her coat. 

“It was lovely having you over again, dear,” Mrs. Jaeger says to Petra, a smile pasted on the woman’s face as she saw the two out. She doesn’t say anything about Zeke not offering Petra a ride back. “Do come again sometime.” 

“Of course,” Petra says, although the promise feels empty. She’s not sure if Mrs. Jaeger notices or even cares because the woman shuts the door in her face before Eren and Petra are even out in the driveway. It’s not a cold gesture, but it’s a change from the days when Mrs. Jaeger would wait until Petra was almost out of sight before shutting the door and disappearing into the house. 

Petra shoves her hands into the pockets of her coat and follows Eren down the driveway, watching as he runs to the bike he had carelessly discarded on the ground before entering the house earlier. Embarrassed, Eren hastily picks up the bike, brushing it off and mumbling something about how he had been in too much of a hurry earlier to properly lock up his bike. Petra assures him it’s fine. She’s only half-listening anyway. 

“You can just sit here,” Eren says, patting a padded seat on the back of his bike. He throws a leg over his bike easily and looks at Petra, waiting expectantly. 

She hadn’t objected to the ride home before, but now she looks at Eren’s vehicle of choice skeptically. “Are you sure you’ll be able to pedal with me on it? I’m a whole other person.” Petra hovers beside the bike, but she doesn’t get on. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. It was fine when my boyfriends were riding in the back, and they’re a lot heavier than you,” Eren replies. It takes him a moment to register what he just said and then his face begins to color, cheeks glowing pink even in the dim moonlight. “I mean my ex-boyfriends. I rode around with my ex-girlfriend too, but she was really tiny too. She was …” He probably would have babbled on and on if Petra hadn’t sat down. 

“Your exes?” Petra asks, eyebrow raised. She hadn’t really thought about Eren dating, but it’s funny to think about now. She doesn’t remember if he ever dated anyone when he was in high school. She probably shouldn’t tease, but she can’t resist grinning at the boy and saying, “It looks like you were busy in college.” 

“Not that busy. Just … probably as busy as your average college student,” Eren mumbles under his breath, face still flushed. He gestures at Petra’s hands and then makes a motion around his waist. “You can … around me if, you know, you’re comfortable with it.” 

“Oh, right.” She leans forward and wraps her arms around Eren’s waist and wonders briefly how someone so tall can have such a thin waist. “Do you remember the way to my house?” she asks. 

“Of course,” Eren says. “It’s not that far from here.” 

For some reason, the way Eren answers makes Petra feel warm. Maybe it’s just the heat transfer from resting her cheek on his back. She closes her eyes, feeling the wind rush around her as Eren bikes her back home. 

It feels so comfortable, clinging onto someone so familiar and breathing in Eren’s scent, something like pinewood and a little bit of peppermint. He feels strong too, sturdy like a redwood tree. Petra doesn’t know why she doubted his ability to bike with her additional weight. He’d probably be fine having someone twice her weight in tow. She experimentally gives Eren’s waist a little squeeze. It must have been too sudden of a squeeze because they come to a screeching stop, Petra’s face slamming against Eren’s back and the two of them nearly go flying. 

“Oh, ouch,” Petra says. One arm is still wrapped around Eren’s lithe waist, but she raises a hand to rub her stinging face. “That hurts.” 

“S-sorry!” Eren stammers. He twists around to get a good look at Petra, forehead wrinkling. “I didn’t mean to stop so suddenly I was just … surprised.” He brings his hand down to where Petra’s arm is hooked around his waist, but he snatches his hand away as soon as their skin brushes as if he’s been burned. “Sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Petra assures him. Her nose is throbbing dully, but it’s not bleeding. “It’s my fault anyway. I was just surprised. You’re a lot bigger than you were the last time I saw you.” 

“I’m alright,” Eren says with a shy laugh. He pushes off on the bike and starts for home again, pedaling easily despite Petra’s weight. He doesn’t startle when Petra leans against him again, her cheek rubbing against the cotton of his hoodie. His breath hitches a little when Petra wraps her arms a little tighter around his waist, but it goes unnoticed by her. 

“Were they nice?” she asks. Eren makes a confused noise, and she can’t help but smile. Clarifying, she says, “Your exes. Were they nice?” 

Eren pedals in silence for a while before responding. “Yeah. They were nice.” 

“That’s good.” Petra sighs against his back, not noticing the way he shivers as if he can feel her breath on his skin. “You deserve to date nice people.” 

Petra might have imagined it, but she thinks she hears Eren say something in reply. He says it quietly, though, and the wind carries it away too quickly for her to hear. She straightens her back, lifting her head from where it rests against Eren’s back, but he doesn’t repeat himself and she doesn’t ask. Maybe it’s just one of those things that are meant to be spoken aloud but not heard by anyone. 

They don’t speak much the rest of the way home. Petra figures Eren is having enough trouble biking with two people and holding a conversation would only tire him out more. She just lets herself rest against him, watching as they pass streetlight after streetlight. It probably would have been more convenient to call a Lyft or an Uber, but Petra thinks accepting Eren’s bike ride isn’t bad either. It saved her from having to wait awkwardly for her driver to find the house while Zeke’s parents waited for her to leave. 

She wonders if she should have gone to dinner in the first place. Maybe Zeke had only invited her out of politeness, but she had taken it to mean more than it did. She’s stupid to think that arriving at the Jaeger house meant that things could go back to the way things were. It was noticeably tense in the house. At first, Petra thought it was because of the strained relationship between Mrs. Jaeger and Eren, but now she’s not so sure. It’s not as if Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger had met her with open arms. They hadn’t been hostile, but they were polite in the way that people were polite to house guests and not in the way they would be to a childhood friend of their son. God, she’s so stupid. She should have just declined Zeke’s offer politely and never spoken to him again since he was obviously content with not speaking with her for ten years. 

Burying her face in Eren’s hoodie, Petra gives him another squeeze. Eren doesn’t brake this time. He just lets out a surprised “oh!” and falters for a bit, bike slowing, before picking his pace back up and continuing on their way. 

“We’re almost there,” Eren tells her. As he approaches Petra’s house, the bike begins to slow before stopping completely in front of the driveway. When Petra lifts her head, Eren is looking at her, smiling. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Petra nods. She gets off the bike and pats down her windswept hair, brushing some stray locks out of her face. She manages to smile back at Eren. “Thanks for the ride back. I hope it wasn’t too out of your way.” 

“It’s fine.” Eren sits at his bike, his smile a little lopsided. He looks as if he’s about to say something, but nothing comes. It’s only when Petra turns around towards her house that he opens his mouth. “Hey, Petra?” 

Petra’s hand rests on the gate of her wooden fence, just about to open it. She looks at Eren, watching as he fidgets with the handle of his bike. “Yeah?” 

“Did Zeke …?” His voice trails off and Eren’s looking everywhere except at her face. He nibbles on his bottom lip and Petra wonders what he’s so nervous about. His expression looks pained as if he’s scared whatever he has to say will hurt her, but Petra’s not sure why it would. After a moment, Eren swallows and forces a smile on his face. “Did Zeke tell you that … I work near your university?” 

“You do?” 

Eren nods. He looks a lot less nervous now, his shoulders relaxed. “Well, it’s not that far by bike.” 

“Really?” Petra hums. “I should come visit you some time then.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to -” 

“Or you could visit me?” she suggests. 

He blinks. “I can?” Eren asks. “Is that really okay?” 

Petra almost laughs. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be? You should just let me know beforehand if you’re coming,” she tells him. She walks over, pulling her phone out of her purse and handing it to him so he can add his number. “Text me or call me. I might not respond right away because I might have a faculty meeting or a lecture, but I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” 

“Oh, alright then,” Eren says. He types away on her phone, handing it back to her as soon as he’s finished. He watches with wide green eyes as Petra sends him an emoji — a simple “Hi, Eren! It’s Petra 😊” — and looks back at her with a grin. “I’ll come visit sometime.” 

“That’d be great,” Petra says, and she really means it. “Thanks again for the ride, Eren. I really appreciate it.” 

“It was no problem,” Eren tells her. He waves as walks through the gate and up the steps of her porch. He’s still waving when she opens the door and turns around, his smile a little goofy but cute at the same time. “Have a good night!” 

“You too,” Petra says before shutting the door gently behind her. She takes a peek out the window and sees Eren still on the sidewalk with the bike. He stands there with a pensive look on his face before pushing off his bike and riding off into the night. Petra watches until he’s a tiny speck down the road. When she blinks, he’s gone. 

Petra finds her dad waiting for her in the living room, sleeping because he can’t stay awake for very long after dinner. In his lap sits a half-finished crossword puzzle. Petra smiles affectionately at her father before pressing a soft kiss on the old man’s brow. 

“I’m home,” she whispers as her father begins to stir. 

“Ah, Petra,” says her father. He looks at her, eyes still bleary with sleep, and gives her a drowsy smile. With a hand, he pushes up the glasses that were slipping off his nose during sleep. “Did Zeke drive you home?” 

Her lips press into a thin line. “No. He was busy,” Petra replies, trying to keep her voice as even as possible. “Eren took me home instead.” 

“Eren?” her father repeats, not seeming to remember the name. 

“Zeke’s younger brother,” Petra reminds him. She leans against the back of her father’s armchair as she tries to describe the half-brother. “He was a few years younger than me. Brown hair, big green eyes, kind of gangly.” 

“Oh, Eren,” her father says, nodding. Petra’s not sure if he actually remembers or if he’s just being polite, but then he suddenly says, “I saw him earlier this evening before I was closing up shop. He’s very polite. He’s a nice boy.” 

Petra leans over to rest her head on her father’s shoulder while her arms lay folded on the back of the armchair. She thinks about her ride home, how it could have been cold and miserable and lonely. And maybe her thoughts were all of those things, but the ride wasn’t. She can still feel the warmth Eren emanated from underneath his hoodie, how comforting it was to have someone to hold.

“Yeah. He’s a nice guy,” Petra says softly. 

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Ian and Monica vs. Yevgeny and Svetlana

That’s right. I’m going to do a meta post. Because this fantastic gifset from @sickness-health-all-that-shit got me thinking about something from a different angle. I’m not sure if this has been noted in the fandom before since I’m still relatively new compared to the Shameless veterans, so sorry in advance if this has been talked about to death. 

From the time Ian returns in season four through the last occasion when we see him with Yevgeny in season six, it’s pretty clear that he loves that kid almost as much as Svetlana does and far more than Mickey seems to. Obviously, Mickey has a lot of justifiable reasons for not feeling particularly paternal towards Yevgeny that I won’t get into here, and we do see a bit of a shift in the police station on that front for the first time. However, the fact of the matter is that Ian is more of a father to Yevgeny than Mickey--even Svetlana mentions his help when she’s talking to Kev. In my meta-viewing rounds, I’ve seen a lot about how Yevgeny’s relation to Mickey and Ian being just a genuinely kind, compassionate person play a huge role here. I agree. There is, however, an enormous parallel with his own upbringing that I want to explore at length, and since writing is kind of my medium, I figured I’d do it here. (Again, if this has been talked about before, please continue scrolling and have a wonderful day! :D )

Ian has mommy issues. 

Ian also has daddy issues. 

There. I said it. 

All the Gallagher kids have issues with Frank and Monica, and we see them “act out” throughout the series in ways that would indicate that they suffer from a level of trauma strongly associated with their parents. For now, let’s focus on Ian’s since he’s who this post is ultimately about. 

Frank:

Unlike the rest of the Gallagher siblings, we don’t really see much happening directly between Frank and Ian without the rest of the family involved in the first four seasons prior to Ian meeting Yevgeny. To my knowledge, all they really have is a brief deleted scene conversation and Frank offering “advice” when Ian is trying to warn him that Mickey is upset. Their other interactions tend to be more negative, with Frank beating on Ian or Ian joining the rest of his siblings in getting Frank out of the house. At the end of the first season, he even finds out that Frank isn’t actually his biological father. His speech to Lip and behavior for the rest of the series seem to indicate that it doesn’t matter to him and he still considers Frank his father regardless, but that was a heck of a smack to the face when he was already growing up with Frank’s special brand of manipulation and neglect. 

So, where does that lead him? Places where a child his age shouldn’t have been. Interacting with much older men who preyed on him rather than trying to find him help or just staying away. They had an aura of stability that we have seen time and again is what Ian craves, through ROTC and West Point and these relationships with people who seemingly have their shit together. (In reality, we all know it’s a facade. Kash and Ned absolutely do not have their shit together, and Ian’s demeanor around them visibly shifts when he finally sees that with Kash shooting Mickey and Ned’s family falling apart.) As with Frank, he is willing and able to let them go when he realizes that they are more of the same: another deadbeat. 

Now, let’s table that and come back to it in a moment. 

Monica:

Ian’s relationship with Monica clearly has a greater impact on him throughout the series in more ways than merely their shared bipolar situations. She’s the only biological parent he has, and she’s definitely the only parent that has shown him any real affection from what we’ve seen. (Until the wedding. I’ll give Frank a few karma points for not causing trouble and being happy for Ian.) Monica loves him--he knows that. Unfortunately, he also knows that that love is not enough to keep her around or make her a better mother to any of her children. If anything, the combination of her affection, his grudging love for her, and her disorder render any efforts she does make counterproductive. For example, Frank has never engaged with Ian’s dreams of becoming a soldier, but when Monica finds out that that is his goal and that he’s upset about not having the grades for West Point, she hauls him right over to the recruitment office. To her, it’s an act of adoration. Everybody else knows it’s insane: Ian was underage and shouldn’t have been anywhere near there. Just like he shouldn’t have been anywhere near clubs, being objectified. Monica wasn’t being malicious. She seriously thought that she was doing what was best for him in her own way. Her own way just happened to be really messed up. To a large extent, it seems like Ian recognizes this fairly early on until he gets sick and doesn’t know who to turn to.

Rather than write her off the way he does Frank, however, Ian stays in touch with her behind his siblings’ backs. He knows she isn’t a good influence and that they would be appalled if he told them that they still talk. But he cares. She’s important to him. Fiona is fantastic, but she’s his sister. This is his mother, who obviously loves him even at her worst. He can’t let that go. He has to cling to that one parent in the same way that the others cling to Frank at various points in the earlier seasons before he burns their final bridges at one moment or another. 

Character Foils: Yevgeny, Svetlana, and Mickey

I think Ian’s relationship with his parents is a huge reason for why Ian behaves the way he does with Yevgeny in part based on the timing. It doesn’t begin when he moves into the Milkovich house. It doesn’t start with the obligation if he is going to live with Mickey since Svetlana isn’t going anywhere. Even though his discomfort over Mickey going to the baptism surfaces afterward, Ian starts actively trying to take care of Yevgeny the same day he sees that baby. Why bother? He hasn’t shown any concern for Svetlana before. He even sarcastically congratulated Mickey when they found out she was in labor without actually pushing for either of them to be there. Why does he decide at that moment to get involved, knowing that Mickey wouldn’t be happy about it and that Svetlana wouldn’t accept the charity from him, of all people? 

Well, because it’s a painfully similar situation to what he’s accustomed to, isn’t it? 

Mickey left home, just like Frank. (I’m not saying he didn’t have a good reason: he had a lot of trauma to endure that Frank didn’t. Frank not wanting kids has nothing on what Mickey went through to wind up here.) He didn’t want a baby. He didn’t want to be a father. He is just chilling at the Gallaghers’ house, both of them pretending that things are the way they used to be because the changes aren’t right in front of their faces anymore. When Svetlana walks through the front door looking for him not because they’re married, but because of the baby? When Mickey doesn’t care? Regardless of the reasons, that has to look familiar to Ian in practice. 

Svetlana gives a shit. She’s willing to threaten Mickey with something that could end his life (if Terry were so inclined) if he doesn’t step up to support their child. Again, she’s not asking him at that point to be a husband. She doesn’t ask him to move back in, and when she does later, there’s no reason to believe that Ian knows about it since he wasn’t there. For her, it comes down to love for her child as far as Ian is concerned. She’s got problems--there’s no denying that. But she loves her kid more than anything. She comes to find Mickey for the first time looking frazzled because their kid needs things. When Ian needed to feel better about Mickey going to juvie, Monica was there. When Ian needed to be comforted about his future, Monica was there. By that point, Monica was even there for him when he went into a severe manic episode, ran away from the army, got kicked out of Ned’s condo, and had nowhere else to go. She didn’t stick around, as Monica’s MO tends to dictate, but she was there when he was in need and was gone when he reached a state of what she would define as stability. (We know he wasn’t stable. Dear heavens, he was so not stable.)

It’s not Yevgeny’s fault that his parents are kind of a shitshow (courtesy of Terry, of course), just like it wasn’t Ian’s fault that Frank and Monica were the same. Yevgeny was born into an awful situation he can’t control. Ian must understand that better than almost anybody. By this time, his older siblings have found a sense of control over their lives while Ian’s whole world is bouncing up and down around him, spinning too fast for him to keep up. 

Ian has something that Yevgeny doesn’t: experience. This kid is just getting started, but Ian has already been there. He’s grown up with a dad that doesn’t want him and a mother who loves him, although his own mother didn’t stick around the way Svetlana did. Then again, Ian barely knew Svetlana beyond her occupation, so for all he knew, even that wouldn’t last. Maybe she would go the same way as Monica. 

Nobody would have wanted that for Ian, and it only makes sense that he wouldn’t want it for Yevgeny.

So, he steps up right away. He doesn’t have time to go through the mental process of coming to terms with the fact that this is Mickey’s kid and how he’s going to need stability. That much is obvious when he questions why Mickey is going to the baptism only to be told, “He’s my son, man.” It clearly hadn’t registered for him entirely, they’d been so encapsulated in the bubble they’d built for themselves when Ian came home. 

Tl;dr - That gut-instinct to act? That immediate response to seeing--not hearing--that Yevgeny needed things that parents were supposed to provide for their children? Ian is such a kind-hearted person that I don’t put it past him for an instant to do what he could, but I think his own upbringing played a large role in the decision. He wasn’t looking for praise or to get Svetlana off of Mickey’s back. He saw a newborn baby who was in danger of growing up with a father who didn’t want him and a mother who loved him but perhaps not enough to save him someday. 

Just like Ian. 

[skollwolf]

I want to ask a question and I hope it doesn’t get taken the wrong way. So please forgive me if I offend you, but can you tell me what made you decide/learn you are trans? Like where did it all begin? I’m just curious because I, someone who is not trans, would like to kind of understand a little more as to what people feel with this sort of thing. You can be as specific or as general as you like obviously. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with. Thanks.

Sure, I suppose I'm willing to take this one in good faith and answer it. It is a bit abrupt to lead with this sort of question, and obviously in real life I would hope you know enough to like....say hi to a trans person and establish a dialog rather than jumping right into something like this, but I'm willing to go from 0 to "how did you figure out you were trans" without a warm up.

Actual answer under the cut, so people who don't feel like reading can skip it.

For me it started with both physical and social dysphoria, though it doesn't for all trans people; dysphoria's not actually a requirement for being trans, I'm not a trans med, but it was key for me particularly.

Not to go into too much detail, because the specifics of dysphoria are fairly personal, but there have always been aspects of my body that I've disliked or been actively uncomfortable with. Around my mid teens, it started occurring to me that all the things about my body I disliked were also the things that contributed to other people reading me as female when they pass me on the street. I'm not just talking, like, secondary sex characteristics here, I also mean things like my height or the width of my shoulders.

Equally, I'd never been comfortable with certain overtly gendered terms. For instance I hated being called a "lady", or being called miss. Growing up, I thought this discomfort was because of the old-fashioned connotations of the words, and the gender roles associated with them, which I did not want to perform.

So, okay, I didn't like being read as "female" or "a woman" by strangers. I got that far, and then was stuck at that point for a couple of years, unsure if that was because of internalized misogyny, or the Acute Discomfort of Being Perceived at all, or what.

I'm old enough that I knew next to nothing about being trans growing up, because that information just wasn't available then like it is now. There was exactly one trans girl I knew through school, who I didn't particularly like due to a personality clash and so spoke to...maybe three times ever, despite the fact that we were in the same LGBT+ club. Other than her, I never met another trans person growing up, and absolutely everything I ever heard about being trans came from transphobic jokes or stereotypes. To go from "I don't like being perceived as a woman, and I don't feel right with some parts of my body that cause me to be perceived that way" to "I'm trans" was a mental leap I would have been literally incapable of making.

But then I got a little older. A speaker came to my high school health class in 12th grade and talked, amongst other things, about transgender and nonbinary identities. I was so fascinated by the concept of being nonbinary that I wrote like...30+ pages of a story with a nonbinary main character for NaNo that year. It was supposed to be a scifi romance, except then I started writing about the main character's experience of growing up nonbinary, and navigating presenting as male and female at differing times, and how they navigated the world a little differently based on the gender they were presenting as at any given point...and 30+ pages later, I'd written nothing about my planned plot. But that had nothing to do with me personally, right? I was just interested in writing a character! I write lots of characters!! Nothing at all to do with me hahaha I told myself, aged 17, and then wrote more backstory for this character.

Then I went to college, and my first year college roommate made me make a tumblr. As I poked around on here, I encountered the blogs of other folks who were trans, and nonbinary. Though I couldn't at this point (most of a decade later) tell you exactly whose discussions of their dysphoria or their experiences of being trans resonated with me, what I can say is that bells started ringing. I read stories written by trans people, read resources intended for people questioning their gender identity, and then realized. Huh. A lot of this does sound like me, actually.

I told my best friend hey I don't know if this is something I'm going to stick with, but I want to try out some other pronouns. So she started calling me “they” and “he” when I asked her to, and I realized that that felt a million times better than being called "she" ever did. I told my best friend hey haha again not sure if this is permanent but...help me pick out a more masculine name? And being called my new name alleviated a feeling of pressure I didn't even realize I felt whenever someone used my (very feminine sounding) deadname. I said to my followers on tumblr, back in my very active fandom days when I chatted with folks a lot on here, hey I'm using this name and these pronouns now, trying some stuff out, and being referred to by the terms and name I'd chosen felt so good that I finally bit the bullet and admitted to myself that this was, in fact, permanent, and that I was, in fact, nonbinary and trans.

And that's the long and short of it, for me. But, uh, it might vary deeply from trans person to trans person, so I don't know if that gives you whatever you were looking for, anon.

[ziracona]

Hi! I just realised I havn't popped in in awhile. Do you have any headcanons u feel like sharing about the newer survivors?? (I love them all, they're so cool but I think imma have to say cheryl is my bby gurl. she's tired. let her rest.) also. i am. going insane. from a toothache :) - Sleepy

Hey! Hope your tooth pain clears up! I’m so sorry—that’s one of the worst. : /

Hmmm, I do, but I’m trying to think of ones I haven’t said in asks before. 😬 Unfortunately my memory of fictional characters is great, and my memory of what I said in asks is shitty. :’-]

I don’t know the newer survivors—except Nancy and Steve—as well as I do the older ones, because I’ve never written them, and I haven’t played Silent Hill. I like Zarina, Yui, and Cheryl a lot though. Poor fkn Cheryl can join Quentin in the “Please God, just one good day?” Existence. Rip to them both. 😭

Poor kid gets out of hell once, and ya throw her back in. :’-]

Let’s see—headcanon I am fairly sure I haven’t already shared. I think Yui and Min would get along really well, and Jane and Zarina would too.

Yui hates the serial killers especially, from her own personal experience, and goes to bat hard against them every time.

Ash flirts with everyone to a point it’s even more than Ace does, and for a while it becomes a competition between them to see who can flirt more and better than the other (not in a shitty way—everybody knows they have the competition going on and it’s more a ‘I can act better than you’ than a ‘I can win more hearts’ one.) Ace is declared the winner in class, Ash the winner in sheer quantity he’s able to churn out, and they agree to call it a semi-draw. It’s actually a really fun week for everyone, because they’re all constantly being complemented and flirted with in a way they know is performative and seeks 0 real actions from them in return, so essentially they are just showererd with ‘drunk girl in a bar bathroom’ levels of praise for seven days.

Felix and Nancy are the only two with significant others waiting back home, and they bond over talking about their wife/boyfriend and sharing stories and having someone around who understands that specific brand of pain and can encourage them that they’ll make it back home.

Tapp is a dad, so he gives Felix a lot of advice on stuff since he was an expecting father. Not so much “do this” advice, since his relationship with his family didn’t go so well, and he feels like he’s in absolutely no position to teach—more like “It’s okay. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years. She’s gonna make it just fine even if you’re not home yet, and you’ll get back to them. And I’m gonna teach you some of the tricks so you’ll be ready when you do. You can even surprise her by already knowing how to change a diaper and warm a formula bottle. I’ll show you how to do it,” and talking him through some of the stuff he would have been able to learn from infant care books. It’s sweet, but Tapp almost dies when Jane says its “Very heartwarming” and teases him, so they cut him some slack. Felix is really appreciative. Laurie has taken care of a ton of kids, and gives him some advice too, and so does Nancy, who had two younger siblings.

Steve is a disaster who suffers from “I like you and you are a girl, so *pigeon meme* Is this falling in love?” syndrome. Gets shot down hard by Laurie, who is ridiculously pissed at him for bringing it up during a trial when their lives are on the line, but after he gets over being super awkward around her, and she reaches out to be like, ‘Look, dumbass, why did you even like me?’ And he’s like ‘...because you’re, uh, really cool? A-and pretty? And...’ and eventually she’s like ‘Buddy, you don’t even really know me. You’re just lonely. You’re not in love with me, you just want to be, because you want to be in love with somebody, and that’s not gonna cut it, for me, or anyone. Be in love with a person—not with the concept of being in love. And for that to happen, you have to know them first.” And since Steve is good af self-improvement, he realizes she’s got a real point, and tries to find his worth outside of needing a girlfriend, and becomes both a lot happier, and one of Laurie’s closer friends. (Side note—this extends probably only to my initial Steve ideas. I had the idea batted around that in that universe, Stranger Things /is/ an existing show, but it’s based on a mix of urban legend and history from the 80s, and Nancy and Steve are the version from the actual 80s, and I think in that pitch Steve is dating Barb, who is still alive, and already worked through this specific issue, because many things happened differently for wild comedic ‘But in the show’ effect, becuase both them repeatedly going “WELL REALITY WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT” when like, monster hunting shit from the show won’t work on the Demogorgan, and *Spit take* “THEY HAD ME HIT ON ROBIN?” “Ewwww” “YEAH ewww! She’s basically my lesbian little sister! We’ve been best friends since grade school! What the fuck :’-]” make for amazing joke potential. )

Cheryl starts having nightmares where she sees things from the Entity’s eyes she was never meant to see, and finding out dangerous amounts of information this way. The Entity decides at some point this is too big a threat, but because it’s proud, it doesn’t want to just kill her, as that would be admitting a human is a threat, so it starts having killers gun for her mercilessly to try to get her to give up, and the poor girl is in agony.

Zarina documents stuff form the realm constantly, and has a careful scrapbook collection of all notes and paraphernalia from past survivors. She also keeps conspiracy pages tacked together trying to figure out who they were becuase they deserve at least the justice of people somehow knowing how they died and what they went through. Laurie is a big help with this, and so is Claudette, who has been keeping stuff for a long time.

Yui is very no-nonsense, and protective. She gives off strong big sister vibes. She especially also loves board games/puzzles/other games like Shogi or Go and such, and Dwight and Adam create game pieces for her to play Go with when she mentions how much she used to like that kind of thing, and Yui is incredibly touched, and makes several other ones for people to play with too, and it becomes a very enjoyed pastime between trials. It’s engaging and competitive, but much more relaxed and low energy than sports or training or going for a run, so it’s a great alternative. Meg gets super into making puzzles, and all the artists do too, and take turns painting pictures on boards, cutting them into puzzle pieces with extreme painstakingly slow care, and then doing puzzles together. Jake is invaluable in the actual cutting pieces out area, but actually enjoys to do it.

Felix knows a lot more than anyone else about the Entity when he’s taken, so he spends a bunch of time with the research team trying to recall whatever he can from his childhood and sharing any information he has, then just stays on it because he wants to. He’s desperate to meet Benedict Baker someday himself, becuase that man seems to get around, and he really wants to know what happend to his father.

Everyone becomes protective as fuck of Cheryl when the Entity starts targeting her, and someone—I think Kate and or Meg—probably both together—as a one-off joke call themselves her knights at some point, becuase they’re running such dedicated protection detail, but it becomes a whole thing, and several more start to do it. They’ll like ‘fist clasped arm across chest at attention, quick bow’ when they see her, and it’s goofy as fuck, but it helps a lot making Cheryl’s reality more bearable. Plus, it’s really sweet. Nea gets in on this and comes back one day with a little daisy chain she made cause she was bored, sees Cheryl, it clicks, runs over and offers it as a ‘favor’. Zarina sees and comes back later that day from a trial and kneels and presents Cheryl with a rescued toolbox with a brand new part. This becomes increasingly common and extravagant, and Cheryl /cannot/ deal, but it’s like, genius, becuase it takes exactly this level of surreal goofy friend bullshit to distract from the hell she is living. She ends up just regularly having someone come back from a trial or trip to the woods, salute with an arm across their chest, bow, and present her with anything from a pinecone or pretty rock, to flowers or a medkit, to a salt statue or key, to a painting or hand made bracelet, to a makeshift weapon or a pillow. Everyone always tries to outdo each other, so the gifts tend to be extravagant. Zarina considers herself Cheryl’s righthand woman/personal knight by chocie, because she wanted a cause to fight for and has found one she truly loves, and she makes Cheryl her favorite gift so far, coming up to her at the end of a long day, after a very bad trial where Cheryl was mercilessly and slowly killed by the Pig, kneeling, and offering a thick shard of stained glass from the chapel, made sturdy and held in place with a few chunks of soldered and wrapped iron along the blade and down the grip, forming a razor sharp and reinforced stained glass knife.

[bebychangbean]

Strangers Ch.1

Demon! Han Jisung x Reader

First chapter of a 3 part series. This story isn’t gonna be lighthearted and fun btw. It’s based on a nightmare I had a few days ago,,, that should tell you enough. 

Warnings: minor character death, violence, heavy themes.

Next

Word count: 5k

Jisung had always known he was different. There was a voice in his head that had been there since he was a child. The voice told him to do horrible things: hurt his friends, run into a busy street, jump out the window. He had complained to his mom about it for the first time when he was four, but she had already known what was wrong with him.

Jisung had started showing signs of possession when he was five years old. It started with a flash of darkness in his eyes and his tiny hands scratching into his mother’s arm, leaving small red marks on her pale skin. It escalated quickly, Jisung’s body starting to float when he slept, whispering to himself unintelligibly, a different voice coming out of his own mouth.

His mother recognized the second voice and she knew that his condition was her fault.

He shouldn’t have been born.

Jisung became severely violent by 2nd grade, fighting with other kids and getting into trouble. Teachers thought he was just a troubled kid, but Jisung’s mom knew better. Jisung had explained to her the feeling he would get before a fight: blurry vision, involuntary movements and a foggy feeling in his head.

When Jisung was 8, the two of them moved to Malaysia where Jisung could learn to control himself as he got older. He went to school there, causing mayhem until he was eventually pulled out and homeschooled after beating a kid so mercilessly that they had to be taken to the hospital.

By the time Jisung was 14, he could control his impulses fairly well. The voice was still there, and he still talked to it in his dreams, but he was no longer in danger of hurting anyone.

He and his mother moved back to Korea, allowing Jisung to go to highschool and live as normally as possible. He graduated without a hitch, making tons of great friends that stuck with him into his first year of college.

~

School had just ended and Jisung was heading to a nearby convenience store to grab a snack with some friends. His head had been hurting all day, the voice inside just a little louder than usual, his fingers twitching, arms moving with a mind of their own.

Something was wrong.

He pushed those feelings to the side as he approached the counter, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket to pay for the orange juice and the bag of M&M’s he was holding.

His eye twitched, his vision blurring heavily, the edges tinted red. The girl behind the counter said something, but the ringing in his ears drowned her out almost completely. His head was spinning as something in his mind activated his fight-or-flight responses against his will. He staggered as his heart rate jumped.

Jisung’s arms reached out before he could stop them, one hand securing itself around her throat and the other on the side of her face. Hyunjin looked over just in time to see the commotion, letting out a shout of alarm and running toward his friend.

He was too late, the girl’s eyes rolled back in her head, a scream caught in her throat as Jisung snapped her head violently to the side, his own head mimicking the action mockingly. A disgusting crack resounded throughout the shop.

Hyunjin grabbed Jisung’s arms, pulling them away from the poor cashier who fell promptly to the ground.

The tall boy’s shouts alerted the rest of their friends who were scattered around the small convenience store and Chan ran over to see what was wrong. He dashed immediately behind the counter to check on the girl, alarmed at the awkward angle her head was at and the stillness of her pale figure. He lifted her by the arms into a sitting position, looking into her vacant eyes as he checked for a pulse and watching for even the faintest rise and fall of her chest. Finding nothing, he looked frantically up at Hyunjin.

“She’s not breathing!” he yelled, panic taking over.

Hyunjin was still holding Jisung by the shoulders, shaking him and trying to get him to respond.

“What did you do?” he screamed, eyes bulging, tears streaming down his face at his best friend’s actions, “Jisung what the fuck did you just do?”

Jisung’s vision was still cloudy, intrusive thoughts echoing in his mind. Everything was going too fast, Hyunjin’s shouts, the vicious movement of his already dizzy body.

Within seconds the rest of the boys were crowded around the counter to see what was wrong. Chan shouted for someone to call an ambulance as he continued trying to wake up the girl who was clearly long gone. Jisung covered his ears with his hands to block out the voices of his friends, but it only amplified the shrieks in his head.

“Run!” the voice said. “Get as far from here as you can!”

And Jisung listened. Ripping Hyunjin’s hands off his shoulders and shoving past Seungmin and Minho. He sprinted out the door and down the street, shoving pedestrians, running faster than he ever had, adrenaline coursing through his veins. Jisung didn’t even bother to look where he was going, his feet taking him wherever they pleased, whipping around corners and across streets. Cars honked furiously at him as he dodged through traffic, trying to get away from the police he knew would soon arrive.

Jisung was so in his head that he didn’t hear the heavy padding of the feet that followed him. Chan had jumped the counter to run after him as soon as Jisung left the convenience store, Hyunjin and Minho close behind.

Chan’s chest was heaving from the effort of chasing his friend–was Jisung always this fast?–he heard the sirens ringing out from the convenience store a few blocks away.

Hyunjin was having a hard time keeping up, but Minho grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along, the three of them not letting Jisung get away.

The four of them ran for at least 30 minutes, Jisung trying to get out of the city before the cops found him. He was sure that his face would be on the news within hours. He wondered what his sentence would be if he was caught. He thought briefly about his friends who had stayed behind in the store, selling him out to the police. He thought of the girl he killed. He didn’t even know her name, his eyes skipping over the nametag that was clipped to her shirt.

Jisung shook his head as he stopped to catch his breath, leaning against the side of a building on the outskirts of Seoul. The other three caught up to him there, Chan grabbing his arm to stop him from escaping again.

“What the fuck, Jisung,” he said, gasping. “Where are you going?”

Jisung looked up at him and Chan noticed the tears in his eyes and the scared expression on his face. He realized that Jisung’s life could never be the same after this. He also realized that he didn’t want his best friend of four years to go to prison and never be seen again.

“I didn’t mean to,” Jisung whispered, burying his head in Chan’s chest.

Chan wanted to push him away, still scared and disgusted with the younger boys actions. He would never be able to forget the feeling of holding the limp body of the girl who looked like she couldn’t have been much older than himself.

“I couldn’t control myself,” Jisung continued, “It’s like something took over. I couldn’t stop it in time.” He looked down, clutching onto Chan and attempting to steady his breathing and stop the panic from rising inside himself.

“We can’t stay here,” Minho said. “The police will find us if we’re out in the open like this.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened at Minho’s words. Was he implying that they keep running and hide from the police?

Jisung wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand, Minho locking eyes with him reassuringly. “I’m not leaving you, Jisung,” he said, taking his hand and pulling him away from the wall.

The two boys had known each other since they were children. They grew up on the same street, keeping in contact even during the six years that Jisung was in Malaysia. Minho was the only person Jisung had ever told about the voice in his head and the older boy was sure Jisung wouldn’t have acted this way on his own. He knew it wasn’t his fault.

Minho started to run again, a little bit slower this time, pulling Jisung behind him. Chan kicked off the wall next to them, getting ready to run after the two.

“You two better explain this later,” Hyunjin muttered, taking off as well.

They continued to run until they were just out of Seoul, then walking along a dirt road on the edge of Suwon. They didn’t forget to toss their phones in a nearby puddle, effectively killing them. They stomped on them, just to be safe, and buried them a few feet off the dirt road they were walking on. They weren’t taking any chances of getting caught. If they were gonna run away, they were gonna do it right.

The houses in Suwon were few and far between, farmland taking up a majority of the wide landscape. It was unlikely that they would be found here, so they decided they needed a place to stay for the time being.

“That patch of trees looks pretty nice,” Minho said, pointing out a relatively hidden spot a few yards off the road.

“We don’t have blankets,” Chan pointed out.

“Or food,” Hyunjin added.

“Well damn, I didn’t realize y’all wanted to be picky,” Minho shot back, rolling his eyes.

“I wouldn’t call basic necessities ‘being picky’,” Hyunjin argued, the two quarrelling like usual.

Jisung quietly kept walking along the road, clearly not content with sleeping outside in the middle of autumn. Chan caught up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. Jisung didn’t say anything–he’d been eerily quiet since they’d left the city–and lifted his hand to point at a cozy looking house about half a mile away.

“You wanna stay there? What if someone lives there?” Chan asked, wary of showing their faces to strangers. The boys had pulled facemasks from their backpacks to hide their identities once they got out of Seoul, Hyunjin and Chan pulling up the hoods of their jackets to shield themselves from oncoming cars.

“I don’t care,” Jisung responded, his voice hollow and devoid of emotion.

Chan simply nodded and kept walking with him, Minho and Hyunjin still bickering quietly in the back.

~

The knock on the door startled you. You nearly burned yourself on the edge of the pan you were cooking with as you turned to look at the window next to the door, the sheer curtains showing the silhouettes of two boys holding hands nervously. You turned the fire down and wiped your hands on your apron, walking toward the door. Sure, as a young girl living on your own it was probably not wise to open the door for strangers, but the crime rates were low here and you were willing to take your chances.

Upon opening the door, you were greeted with four nervous faces, two smiling and the other two with shifty eyes.

“Can I help you?” you asked politely. You figured they were neighbors who had just moved in nearby.

“Um…” the boy with curly hair trailed off, trying to figure out how to word his next sentence. “We need a place to stay for the night and we were wondering if we could maybe stay here?” Chan asked, wringing his hands in front of him.

Your eyebrows raised, unsure of what to do in this situation. Obviously you shouldn’t let them stay. They hadn’t even told you their names. Then again, the sun was starting to set and it would soon be quite cold outside. You’d feel horrible if they froze to death.

You wordlessly stepped aside, letting the four boys into your home, slapping yourself mentally as you realized that you were such a stereotypical horror movie character. But they looked so tired, the least you could do was feed them and get to know them a little. They seemed relatively harmless.

You led them back to your kitchen, the space now a little more crowded than before. “Please, sit,” you said, gesturing to the dining table on the other side of the room.

The boys moved cautiously from the doorway as if they were worried about scaring you if they went too fast. You simply resumed your cooking, adding a bit more rice to the pan to accommodate for your newcomers.

“So what’s up with you guys? How’d you get out here?” You asked, thinking for a second before adding, “And while you’re at it, why don’t you tell me your names.”

“I’m Chan,” the boy with the curly hair from before spoke up.

“Minho,” added another boy from his seat at the table. He nudged the boy next to him, silently telling him to go next.

“I’m Hyunjin,” he said. He turned to the final boy whose eyes were cast down at his hands as he played with his fingers. “That’s Jisung.”

You nodded and introduced yourself, “I’m Y/n.” You waited for them to continue talking as you turned back to your fried rice, still not knowing what the boys were doing showing up at your house at 7 pm.

Chan spoke up, “We’re on vacation,” he lied, “We came from Seoul to spend a week–”

“We’re on the run,” Jisung spoke up, cutting off Chan’s next words. You spun around and looked blankly at him. Those were the first words Jisung had said to you, and they weren’t reassuring your decision to let them into your house. “We’re wanted,” Jisung looked dead at you. “I’m wanted.”

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. Of course your life couldn’t be like some fairytale movie and you had to meet a band of criminals. You had half a mind to just tell them to leave and chase them out with a knife, but they’d been otherwise nice and harmless so you almost couldn’t believe Jisung’s statement.

“I don’t even want to know what for, do I?” you asked rhetorically. “Anyways, I hope you guys like fried rice.”

They did, apparently, the four of them ravenous after running for almost four hours. There wasn’t much talking during the meal, but Chan made sure to thank you for your hospitality, the other boys following suit. They expected you to kick them out once dinner was over and to be honest, you probably should. You already knew that they were criminals and you knew nothing else but their names, but it was still unlikely that they’d survive the night outside.

You had two spare rooms anyway and the couch was pretty comfortable. It was fortunate that the boys had come when you were the only one home, your parents living in Seoul for work and your older brother travelling overseas for school. You were taking a year off of college to focus on getting a job and making money so that your tuition didn’t put you in debt for life.

Chan stood up from his seat, bowing respectfully to you and thanking you again for the meal, Hyunjin standing up shortly after. The boys shuffled towards the door, Jisung the last one to move.

“Wait,” you called out. “You guys can stay the night.”

Minho turned around, shock riddling his features. You were actually going to let them stay? Even after Jisung blew their cover? He was almost going to question your decision before Chan cut in. He wasn’t going to let this opportunity slip away, thanking you profusely and bowing.

You led the boys to your brothers room and upstairs to your parents room. You watched, amused, as the boys played rock-paper-scissors to determine who would be staying on the couch. The five of you didn’t talk much after that, the boys throwing their backpacks near the foot of the beds and passing out rather quickly. Chan had told you that they’d come on foot all the way from Seoul so their sleepiness made sense. He didn’t explain why they were hiding from the police, but you figured you’d have an easier time sleeping if you didn’t know. Ignorance is bliss.

You made sure they all had water and that Chan, who was taking the couch, was comfortable before slipping upstairs into your room.

You locked the door behind you, still not fully trusting the strangers, and you tossed and turned a little before finally falling asleep.

~

Jisung had never shared a bed with anyone before, so tucking up next to Minho in your parents’ bed worried him. Minho was his best friend and the only one who truly knew Jisung’s secret, but he was still wary of his sleeping habits. He prayed silently that Minho would sleep all the way through the night as he drifted off to sleep.

His prayers were apparently unanswered as he woke Minho up around 2:00 am.

The older boy fought for the blanket he was sharing with Jisung while they slept, rolling over to face him when he felt the blanket shift further off of his body, exposing him to the chilly air in the room. Minho slowly peeked one eye open to look at the small boy, confused for a second as to why Jisung was not there. Rather, the blanket was dragged upwards into the air and Minho’s eyes followed it to his friend’s levitating body.

Jisung was floating almost three feet above the bed, his arms crossed over his chest, blanket still covering the lower half of him. The boy was whispering quietly to himself, two distinctly different voices coming out of his mouth.

Minho listened, stunned, as they conversed. He realized that the second voice, the deep one that certainly did not belong to Jisung, was speaking a different language. It wasn’t one he recognized, but Jisung responded in Korean. Minho only understood bits of the conversation, but it seemed like Jisung was accepting praise from the other voice.

Minho slowly came to his knees on the bed, arms reaching out to hold Jisung and gently pull him back to the bed. He was worried that Jisung might wake and fall suddenly, so he was as gentle as possible. It didn’t take much effort to lower the boy back down, but as soon as he removed his hands, Jisung’s body would start to float back up.

Minho threw an arm and a leg over the sleeping boy to hold him down. Jisung’s whispering hadn’t stopped, but the voices were a little quieter than before. Minho didn’t know why he was so calm when faced with his levitating best friend, but he simply shut his eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

~

You woke to the quiet sound of your phone alarm going off at 6:00 am. You had set it early to make sure that you would be the first one up, not wanting to give the boys the time to wander around your house. You stayed in bed for a bit, scrolling through your phone, killing time until you heard quiet voices in the room next door. Jisung and Minho were awake, it seemed.

You kicked your feet off the side of your bed, pulling the hood of your soft sweater over your ratty hair and giving yourself a once-over in the mirror. You walked out the door and down the stairs, finding Chan wide awake on the couch. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all (he hadn’t), but he still greeted you with a charming smile before getting up from the couch.

He followed you into the kitchen, sitting down at the table and watching you pull out ingredients for a large breakfast. You didn’t know what the boys liked, but you decided omelets couldn’t be too bad.

Chan helped you grate cheese as you sliced up some ham and mushrooms for filling.

“Hyunjin doesn’t like mushrooms, by the way,” Chan said, breaking the silence in the room.

You snickered quietly at how well he knew his friends and continued on to cut up some green onions.

“Hyunjin doesn’t like onions either,” Chan added with a laugh.

“God damnit, he’s getting eggs then,” you said, exasperated.

The tall boy walked into the kitchen behind you, groaning and dragging his feet. He also looked like he hadn’t slept much despite how tired he was last night. He collapsed into a chair at the table, closing his eyes as if trying to get just another minute of sleep.

“Hey, picky,” you called out to him. He opened his eyes slowly, raising his eyebrows at the nickname. “How do you like your eggs?” you asked.

“Just the whites,” he responded, sinking back into his chair comfortably.

“What the fuck,” you whispered to Chan. He rolled his eyes and pulled a frying pan off the rack on the wall while you opened a cupboard to get the oil.

You made Hyunjin’s awful food first, sprinkling some salt on his dish and handing him the steaming plate of scrambled egg whites. It looked disgusting, but he didn’t look phased as he thanked you and started eating.

You and Chan then got to work making edible food, pulling out extra plates for the other two boys who came down the stairs together, holding hands. You almost made a joke before you remembered Jisung’s words from last night, the sudden realization of who they were hitting you in the face.

You had seen an article on your phone about a murder in Seoul. Police said that a young boy had killed a girl in a convenience store, but there wasn’t much more information about the case. You wondered briefly if those were the boys in your house before turning yourself back to the eggs at hand.

Once you had served the boys, you took your plate and sat on the couch in the living room as the table in your kitchen only seated four. You turned on the TV, scrolling to the news channel. You needed to confirm your suspicions before you decided whether you’d be kicking the boys out of the house today or not.

The boys heard the news anchor before they could stop you, their ears perking up at the familiar story, Chan shooting up from the table, eyes widening.

“Han Jisung’s whereabouts remain under investigation after his murder of Kim Eunjung in a 7/11 in Dongdaemun-Gu yesterday,” the announcer said.

You stared, horrified at the picture of Jisung on the TV. Chan’s head peeked out of the doorway to look at the TV, eyes fixed on his friend’s face.

You glanced toward Chan, your eyes meeting Jisung’s who stood behind him as the announcer continued talking.

“His three friends have also gone missing after Han ran from the scene,” pictures of Chan, Hyunjin, and Minho flashed across the screen. “If you have any information on the location of these people please call 119.”

You pulled your feet up onto the couch, wrapping your arms around your knees and hiding your face. This couldn’t be happening. Jisung had already told you he was wanted, but seeing the police report had solidified the truth.

“Y/n,” Chan started. He didn’t know what he was going to say. They couldn’t get out of this one. “I promise we’re not dangerous,” he said.

“Oh really?” you asked rhetorically, your brain falling back on sarcasm to hide how scared you truly were. “Then what the fuck did I just watch?”

Chan couldn’t answer. Truthfully, he didn’t even know what was wrong with Jisung. The boy was usually so sweet and innocent, he didn’t understand why he’d lashed out so suddenly.

Jisung stepped into the living room and turned off the TV, his eyes not missing the way you flinched away from him. It hurt him a little bit, but he understood your actions.

He sat down on the floor in front of you, sighing to himself as he realized that he would have to come clean to everyone.

“I’m not fully human,” Jisung said clearly.

All eyes shot toward him except Minho, who had heard this story before.

“My father is a demon,” he clarified. “Minho is the only one I told, but I have my pieces of my father inside of me, feeding off my energy. He always speaks to me, but I can usually control his impulses and ignore his thoughts…” Jisung trailed off. “I don’t know what happened yesterday, but he took over. I couldn’t stop it in time.”

‘This kid is fucking insane,’ you thought to yourself, eyes blinking incredulously at the ridiculous story Jisung had just told. Chan and Hyunjin looked just as skeptical and Jisung started to sweat under their doubtful gazes. Perhaps he didn’t expect you to understand, but he hoped for a little bit of sympathy from his closest friends.

Minho spoke up to defend him, “He’s not lying,” he said. “He floats in his sleep. I saw it last night. And there were two different voices coming out of his mouth when he talked.”

“So you’re both crazy,” Hyunjin said accusingly, backing against the wall of the kitchen, shaking his head at his friends. Your eyes darted around the room, studying the boys' expressions.

“I don’t think he’s lying,” Chan said. You could almost see the gears turning in his head, things clicking into place as he remembered little moments with Jisung that hinted to his confession. “He talks in his sleep. Two different voices. I remember it,” he admitted. “I don’t know about the floating shit though.”

“How do you know?” Jisung asked, his question not helping his claims, but he was always careful not to fall asleep around anyone. He was curious when he’d slipped up.

“You fell asleep in my car one time,” Chan answered. “I remembered thinking it was weird, but I didn’t ask any questions,” he explained.

“Your seatbelt,” Minho interjected. “It must have held you down.”

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Hyunjin said. You could tell he was starting to panic, his voice a bit shaky, breathing unstable. Chan moved toward him, but Hyunjin pushed him away. The younger boy continued speaking, his voice getting louder with every word, “You’re telling me I was tossing and turning in bed last night trying to figure out why the fuck my best friend had just murdered someone right before my eyes when the whole fucking time you had a demon inside you?”

“I couldn’t have just told you though, could I?” Jisung asked. “You’d think I’m crazy. You already do.”

You were silent this whole time, watching the boys try to understand Jisung’s predicament. Trying to think of what to do next. You had never heard of demons being real before, only ever hearing about them in books or on TV, maybe remembering the faintest story of them in church when you were a child. There’s no way that was real. There was no evidence online or anything.

“Are there more of you?” you asked, the boys suddenly remembering that you were there. “I’ve never heard of any real demons before.”

Jisung was relieved that you were finally believing him. “If there are then they certainly haven’t said anything. I guess it’s the same as me never telling you guys,” he said, gesturing to Chan and Hyunjin.

You didn’t know what to believe. If he was telling the truth, then you should certainly kick him out of your house right this instant. And if he was lying then you should still kick him out. You didn’t know what was more dangerous: a boy with a demon in his head, or a lying psychopath.

You stood abruptly from the couch. “I think it’s time for you guys to go,” you said, ushering them toward the door. Sure it was rude of you, but all formalities were out the window the second demon boy had revealed himself.

“Wait,” Jisung said, suddenly terrified at the prospect of being caught by the police. “They’ll find us outside. I can’t go to jail, please,” he cried. “It’s not my fault. The police wouldn’t believe me. I’d have to plead insanity and–”

Jisung was getting worked up rather quickly, fighting against your gentle push toward the exit. His feet were planted and he clearly wasn’t going anywhere, his strength not matching up to his small frame.

“I’m not housing murderers any longer,” you said firmly, “I’ve already done too much. What was I thinking? Feeding you all and letting you stay the night,” you let out a sigh, disappointed in your foolish self as you continued to push against Jisung. “You guys could kill me any second now,” you added, making sure they knew how uncomfortable you were with their presences now that you knew the truth.

“Wait. Please,” Minho said, looking at you with his big round eyes. “He’s not dangerous. He’s controlled the impulses for 19 years. Yesterday was the first slip-up. It won’t happen again,” he assured. He didn’t even know if that was true. Maybe the first murder would open the flood gates and Jisung would go on a rampage. He had kept so much pent up inside of him for so long.

Jisung nodded furiously, willing to do anything to prevent you from turning him out into the street. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life in prison, especially for a crime he didn’t commit on purpose, but he knew the CCTV footage from the 7/11 would be impossible to fight in court. He and his father had talked about it all last night.

You shook your head. How the fuck were you supposed to just let them stay here in your house? But even you had to admit that it wasn’t fair for Jisung to be thrown in jail for something he couldn’t control. Besides, he was only 19. He would spend at least half of his life in prison if he got caught, worst-case-scenario being the death penalty. How could you do that to him? You would never wish that on anybody.

You dropped to the floor and gave up entirely. “What am I supposed to do?” you asked yourself.

“Please just let us stay a little bit longer,” Jisung begged. You looked up to see his big, brown eyes fill with tears, “Just until we find somewhere else to go.”

You nodded, not trusting your words. You knew it was a mistake. You knew it was illegal to hide criminals in your house. If they were found here, you’d all be in trouble.

You were in some deep shit.