#mc’s side of the story is especially significant in that i would also be hurt if the boy i love suddenly leave me heartbroken to then just

[still-a-morosexual-help]

I wonder how the brothers (especially Lucifer) would feel if MC made a pact with Mephisto

Oof I think they would be pissed & hurt. Despite how much they fight they're very family oriented and they see MC as part of their family too. I imagine they see the pact as a very "family" thing. Lucifer's also the one who becomes the happiest when MC calls them family so he might feel especially betrayed? He's also very protective & possessive of his family (given what happened last time he loosened the reigns) so he might oppose it the most but in a subtle way compared to Mammon who may or may not throw a whole tantrum about it

Though I don't think MC will be able to make a pact with him cause even with the side characters becoming dateables and the addition of new characters OM!'s story still focuses on the brothers and they're the main characters, along with MC. According to S2 the pact also had special significance cause it was made between the 7 brothers/sins, so I don't think they'll add anyone into it.

[generallypo]

in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(

incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh. 

------

anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit

i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding! 

*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.

like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes.. 

but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way. 

it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ. 

so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically. 

it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that. 

and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.

(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)

but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you. 

yeah fucking right.

------

and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?

and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him. 

[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]] 

that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself. 

by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?

------

and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.

anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise. 

and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.

however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines. 

at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.

------

now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.

i’ll take it.

to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios  and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.

it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.

so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out.  i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah. 

------

(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)

------

and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!

[writing-wrxngs]

Character Guide!

(Just a little guide to how I personally depict the characters I write about and their roles in my stories.)

Philza

The father of Techno, Wilbur and Tommy. I know a lot of people make Phil just a much older brother, but the Dadza content is just too much for me to ignore

He’s always tried his best for his sons. He’s a good father who tries to balance his sons desires with what’s best for them. His boys mean the world to him.

As a father, he’s firm but never strict. He wants the boys to be their own people, but knows he needs to teach them lessons and give them structure to do so.

He is NOT impartial when the boys fight. He will decide who is in the wrong and give them a lecture. If all parties are in the wrong, everyone is getting sat down and talked to. For some reason this does not deter them from fighting.

He loves seeing the boys flourish. He enjoys being wanted and parenting his sons, but seeing them become independent men is amazing to him. The day that he feels all of his sons are completely self sufficient will be the best day of his life.

His wings are just prt of him. Why he has wings isn’t fully known, he’s just a human with wings. I just like that he has wings. Whether he can fly or not is unknown.

Technoblade

Age has been tweaked to be a year older that Wilbur, give or take. He might be even less than a year older than Wilbur, but he’s older. I chose this for him simply bc Wilbur is far too chaotic to be the eldest. The vibes were off.

He’s simultaneously arrogant and awkward. He loves attention (clout) and being the best but cannot do social interaction.

Likes his chaos and anarchy, but has a line. He knows where to stop and knows when to stop his brothers.

Quite responsible. As responsible and willing to care for his brothers, he still does NOT act like a parent to them. He is nowhere near as gentle with them as Phil, and also often gets in over his head with them.

He’s the most skilled fighter around. He is infamously ruthless, and never holds back, even if his opponent is a loved one. Whether it’s swords, bows, or fists, he will come out on top. He’s had this title for quite a while.

I’ve personally interpreted his mc skin as a pig mask that he wears often. When he’s out or when he’s fighting, he wears it over his face. In company of his family, or very close friends, he wears it up on top of his head.

He played violin when he was younger, his lessons starting when he was young, and he still can play, but does not often.

Wilbur

Extreme middle child energy. He’s his own sort of unstoppable chaos. He can equally be the shitty little brother to Techno and the jerk older brother to Tommy. He also desperately craves validation in spite of how much he’s cared for, and would die for praise.

He’s well known for being well spoken and charismatic. He’s charming and always says the right words. He is amicable and gets along with almost anyone.

He’s still terribly insecure, though, and uses this as a front, putting up walls that sometimes fall if someone, usually his family strike the right place. On the opposite side of the same coin, he still has a big ego at times.

As mean or abrasive as he can be at times, he still genuinely cares about the people he loves. Even as skewed as his morals get at times, he still can be humbled at times and be his true self if something cracks him.

He is also a musician, since he plays guitar and sings, however he also writes songs and places this above performing. Being able to create as compared to Tecnho who simply plays is something he’s very prideful of. Still, writing does stress him at times, especially if he has writer block.

Pogtopia Wilbur is a man who’s lost everything. He’s grasping at straws and no longer cares about who he hurts in achieving his goals, his narcissism shining full through. He’s extremely far gone, but is not yet lost.

Side note, to differentiate between his character and irl, I use Wil for in character and Will for irl.

Tommy

Chaotic youngest sibling to the max. Every day he wakes up and chooses to be a problem. Is a bother, and loves it. Can be overly blunt sometimes and often says the wrong thing or doesn’t read the room properly. His energy never matches the others.

He’s considered the funny one of the family, but slightly dislikes this moniker as he feels like it’s far too one dimensional compared to Wil’s charisma and Techno’s violence. He wants to set himself apart but hasn’t found it yet.

Really wants to be on the same level of his brothers. There’s a significant age gap and Tommy is still just 16, but he’s already chomping at the bit to be independent.

Is fiercely loyal to his family, but especially Wilbur. When they were younger, Tommy was practically Wilbur’s shadow, and honestly, he still idolizes Wil a bit.

Tommy knows how to cut through bullshit like a champ. He is especially good at breaking down Wilbur’s walls and bring him back down to earth when he’s inflated.

Also Tommy is absolutely the main character of the DreamSMP, maybe even in general. Main character energy.

Tubbo

I try to keep my Tubbo usage as little as possible, since I know he’s a bit uncomfortable with fanfic in general. I keep him as a side character. Never about him

He’s Tommy’s best friend and will always stand by him. Tubbo simultaneously matches, increases and dampens Tommy’s chaotic abilities.

He’s a bit smarter than Tommy, and better with things like sympathy and tact.

Canonically has died once. I don’t count deaths that don’t move the plot forward as deaths due to the nature of Minecraft. He was resurrected using some special hand wave magic that I’ve used to explain respawning. It’s not quite healing nor is it necromancy. (Okay, maybe it is necromancy. I had to go check bc I didn’t know off the top of my head. I main paladins it’s not my wheelhouse)

Post festival Tubbo is covered in scars from the burns. They’re mostly on the right side of his body, and sort of start by his torso and stretch like tendrils up his neck/face and down his arm. He’s not insecure about them at all but they are a bit painful.

Tubbo does not have parents. Well, he once did but he can’t remember them. I’ve kept it vague but he likely lived with a family and was separated from them at a young age but was able to take care of himself especially after befriending Tommy some time ago.

Niki

She is incredibly kind, sensitive but equally so is she outspoken and strong willed.

She’s a healer, and is one of the few people capable of resurrecting others, though she is not the most skilled as she only learned how to do this after moving to the SMP.

She’s a bit idealistic and sees the best in everyone, unless they’re completely evil. She believes if she’s seen the good in people, they can be good.

She’s 100% the most level headed in the whole of the SMP. God help you if you cross her, though.

Like I said in my FYI, I don’t ship her with anyone!!! She’s just really sweet and lovey and if you accuse me of making ship content I’ll literally cut you.

Everyone else will probably just make cameos based solely on their SMP characters, but with the way things are looking, I actually might have to get to know more mcyters to write about them.

[flickeringart]

The Megxit Drama

A peek at Meghan Markle’s chart

The British Royal Family has certainly been the subject of dramatic events recently – Prince Harry and Meghan Markle doing an interview with Oprah in order to explain their break with “family”, royal duties and royal life – revealing quite unsavory things sufficient to depict the firm, staff and members of the family in a bad light. Essentially, Meghan was retelling her traumatic experiences of being treated unfairly, feeling trapped, being subjected to racism, getting no help in times of emotional crisis and robbed of freedom, while her husband Harry passively went along confirming all of it. Whatever the truth is, they certainly painted themselves as victims – compassionate and good-natured. They attempted to remain respectful to the people involved in the story, yet if actions speak louder than words, they certainly weren’t particularly “respectful” by throwing the Royal Family under the bus with this interview. The couple has gotten a lot of backlash as people are disinclined to buy their narrative, partly because both seem to be quite self-serving under the guise of selflessness. Meghan made it clear during the interview that she didn’t know much about life as royalty and went into it all surprisingly clueless, almost setting herself up for disappointment. One could assume that by committing to such a structured existence as becoming a royal, that one would do the homework and at the very least expect to give up the privilege of being “an ordinary person” in favor of being of service. The British Monarchy obviously has symbolic value more than anything else, which is not to say that it’s unimportant or trivial. Symbols carry meaning and the Royal Family upholds that meaning through attempting to embody it physically. The members are not supposed to be inflated and begin to believe that they in and of themselves are princes and princesses or whatever titles they are given. They are supposed to serve the titles rather than the titles serving them.  In becoming a part of this symbol of divine reign, one merges with something far greater than the limited self. One serves to uphold an image that is immortal, ancient and has a function in the psyche of the British people. I dare assume that Meghan didn’t fully grasp this concept and went into it all with far more attitude than people would like – perhaps understandably so considering her lack of experience of monarchy. Prince Harry seemingly got pulled along with it all, presumably wanting to rescue his wife from that which killed his mother while piggybacking on the momentum of the situation and metaphorically breaking free from the “limiting container” of the institution. Harry said in the interview that he felt sorry for his father and his brother being trapped by their roles, which seems like a desperate attempt to try to gain some significance, to end up in the role of the hero and avoid living in the “shadow” of more prominent members of the family. People generally seek significance in some way and will come up with the most creative attempts to cast themselves in the role of superiority, whether it’s through victimhood, humility, bravery, sacrifice or anything else that elevates the self in some way. Whether someone’s behavior stems from an attempt to make up for the lack within or not can be hard to spot, but considering the skepticism the interview has been met with – and the scrutiny (and ridicule) that it has been exposed to – it is safe to say that people’s gut feeling tells them that something is not quite right.

(The chart of Meghan Markle on astrotheme.com)

Meghan Markle has been accused of a lot of things, of twisting the truth, of exaggerating in order to further her own agenda, of being self-serving and manipulative. Some call her “narcissistic” – which is the “usual” label thrown at anyone who lacks genuine care for others, stirs up drama and drags other people through the mud in order to benefit themselves. However, her behavior might not be intentional, but compulsive. After all, no one is 100% sure of why they’re the way they are, whether it’s deemed good or bad by society at large. Where the line is drawn between intentional and unintentional is unclear, yet the odors of shady business and dishonorable motives can be sensed – and people don’t usually like being “sold” something that isn’t what it seems. Generally people don’t appreciate being deceived, which is obviously why the backlash has been so extreme.

She has quite a charming and radiating outer appearance, which is typical of someone with their Sun in the 1st, and in its domicile at that. She also has the sweet and innocent “puppy eyed” look of a Cancer Rising, which displays emotion and vulnerability. It’s not surprising that she pursued an acting career before meeting Harry. The spotlight-seeking Leo Sun in the 1st house of self, the Moon-Saturn-Jupiter stellium in the artistic sign of Libra in the 3rd house of communication and (inter)action, as well as the boundless imaginative Neptune in the 5th house of creativity all contribute to the personality of the actress. Considering that she has an emphasis on Leo and Libra, it’s safe to say that she was in it for the refinement, admiration and class that being an actress could provide. She thrives on positive attention, and is undoubtedly sensitive to discord. With a Cancer Rising and a Libra Moon, she craves gentility and fairness, for everything to be “ok” socially. Cancer is a cardinal sign, and although it’s quite emotional, it’s also very active and motivated to create safety for the self. It does this by avoiding direct confrontation, of appealing to people’s caring side. There’s nothing wrong with this, but people might feel as if the Cancer Rising person’s innocence is “put on”. In the interview, Meghan had no problem displaying her own weakness and emphasizing her own vulnerability. She used these attributes to gain esteem, whereas another person of a different nature, with different archetypes protruding, would’ve felt humiliated leading life with that energy. Her Moon is her chart ruler, which makes her emotions the primary focus – in other words her subjective experiences, mutual care, needs and requirements is particularly emphasized in her life. The Moon is in Libra, the cardinal air sign that strives for balance and justice and awareness - especially as it relates to interpersonal relationships. Libra is famous for wanting to keep everything “civilized” and “respectful”. The tight Moon-Saturn-Jupiter conjunction in this sign points to emotional exaggeration (Jupiter) and restriction (Saturn). By entering into a relationship/business deal (Libra) she experienced harshness around her emotions (Moon-Saturn) on a grand scale (Jupiter). On a side note, Capricorn rules the 7th house, indicating that she encounters discipline and structure through partnership. The institution and structure (Saturn) that she entered into through her marriage with Harry (Capricorn in the 7th) would challenge her emotions (Moon) and it put limits on her freedom (Jupiter-Saturn) and affected her overall health (Sagittarius in the 6th).

Meghan has an Aries Midheaven, indicating that her career involves breaking new territory, doing her own thing, leading her own way. This usually doesn’t go over very well when attempting to work for authority. The person usually becomes frustrated and eager to venture out on his or her own. This is exactly what has happened. Her Moon-Saturn-Jupiter conjunction in Libra opposes her MC in Aries, which perfectly points to her attempts to keep things civil and non-aggressive (Libra), while coming off as selfish and individualistic to the public (Aries). Aries as a sign is famous for not listening to anyone and moving into unpaved territory, which she certainly has accomplished. The public now sees her as someone who goes her own way – doing her own thing and standing up for herself, for better or for worse. Her Mars is in Cancer, which is why her aggression isn’t direct and rather passively expressed. She has the stereotypical female aggressiveness that implies playing on one’s weakness and hurt in order to wear down the target. It’s also in the 12th house, which hints to it being disowned by the conscious personality. Meghan might have a hard time conceptualizing of herself as a force of impact and might not see how her pent up frustration might become an enemy to herself. She has complained about feeling attacked by the media and this is classic of a 12th house Mars attributing aggressiveness to anything but the self. Attack and unpleasantness seem to flood the person from the unspecified sources, and it can arguable be a horrific experience. In the interview she mentioned feeling suicidal at one point and desperate to not be alone with the threat coming from the outside, her own mind, or both. It’s difficult to attribute the cause to any single factor with planets in the 12th. Mars squares her MC and her Moon-Saturn-Jupiter conjunction which indicates struggle in the psyche concerning her emotional involvement with structure and beliefs, vs. her public image vs. her own fighting spirit. She certainly has confronted and challenged established structure (Mars square Saturn), albeit with an attempt to be “respectful” resulting in a passive-aggressive understanding of everyone’s difficulties and struggles.

The thing that drew her to The Royal Family in the first place must’ve been her Libran urge for class, style, aestheticism and beauty. She undoubtedly found it glamorous and exciting to get to be in the spotlight, to be respected as part of something elevated and glamorous in nature. She probably has a need for spiritual meaning, indicated by her Moon-Jupiter contact – and to have her daily work based on sharing “truth” and “generous” disposal of knowledge gained through experience (Sagittarius in the 6th). She also craves structure and order indicated by her Moon-Saturn contact, which she pursued through partnership (Capricorn in the 7th) with a member of a family with unparalleled saturnian streaks of tradition, custom and regulations. To establish herself within the family would not have been such a terrible idea for her because it could’ve met all of her needs for purpose and order. However, her Mars in the 12th house didn’t allow for this plan to work. One could say that her own self-serving function rebelled after having yielded to outside influences for too long. Planets in the 12th house are usually “given up” to whatever circumstance one is in – which often results in the person acting through being “overcome” by something - pushed into a position of having to act. Meghan declared feeling imposed on by the outside, emotionally unsafe and unwell. The 12th house is the house of self-undoing after all, and her actions might’ve proven to be quite detrimental - perhaps continuing to be. Square aspects, as that between her Mars and Moon-Saturn-Jupiter conjunction stimulates action because it’s indicative of friction. She had to fight (Mars) for her needs (Moon), control and integrity (Saturn) and for her beliefs (Jupiter).

[alexlabhont]

I didn’t mean to fall in love with you

Chapter Three.

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)

Genre: Canon re-write (Because I can)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really

I´ll be posting this one over here because Tumblr, for some reason, thinks my secondary blog is a bot...

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

Now, about the PAIRING... I will be using choices style, kinda, because I want to give you choice at some point. If you have any comment, PLEASE BE RESPECTFULL and patient with me. This is also my first english fanfic and english is not my mother language, so... i’m sorry fo the grammar errors

CHAPTERS

The beginning

Chapter one 

Chapter two

ONE-SHOTS

Just a dance (Zoey x MC)

—————————————————————— 

A truce.

That’s what she said she wanted and for a moment, all their fears disappeared.

“I really hate to admit this, but I personally asked for you to be my partner on this project. I'm familiar with your music, and I actually wanted to work with you.”

She also said. Beck didn't know how to feel, really. Poppy Min-Sinclair heard their songs, or, at least, she saw their videos.

And she liked them.

Or not? They never knew with her. She has been acting pretty weird these days. Giving them a “compliment”, smiling at them, asking for Beck to be project partners…

Open up with them.

That was beyond weird.

Beck couldn't stop thinking about what they saw back at the “Alpha-Zeta deluxe cabin” or whatever it’s called. Poppy really looked hurt… sad… like…

Like she has feelings.

“I don’t know, Beck. I don’t think is a good idea letting you guard down.” Zoey said, playing with their hair, both of them resting on the couch, Beck’s head laying on her thighs.

“Yeah, I get it. But…” Beck took a moment, remembering the sadness in her voice, the betrayal in her eyes… Did she really care about Chloe? “I wish you had been there to see it, Zo. It was so real my head exploded… Like... She was really hurt.”

“Babe, I know what you’re trying to say. And I believe you that she was in pain. But you have to remember she's still Poppy. And even if she’s a… uhm… human who feels, it doesn't mean she's not a bitch.”

Beck stood up, sitting properly while scratching their neck.

“Yeah, I know that.” They replied. Zoey had a point they couldn’t forget. From all people, Beck understood what it felt like to be judge by a cover, but as Megamind's Roxanne said once: Checking the content was what matters, and the inside of Poppy´s book was not so good.

The time on the wall clock pointed it was the moment to go, it was Saturday and Poppy and Beck agreed to meet her in front of an Animal Rescue from downtown around noon. He didn't want to be late, after all, Poppy was capable of start the project without them and argue that they didn't show up.

“Anyway, I have to go now. The sooner we end this, the better.” Beck put on their shoes and leather jacket, ready to impress thanks to Zoey fashion sense.

“I want you far~ away from trouble, Beck Hughes. Do you hear me?” The protector side of Zoey appeared and, again, they were confused by it.

Zoey always had that effect on Beck, she could warm their chest, sculpt a smile on their face. Honestly, after all these years in a toxic environment, bullying and harm, having Zoey´s concern on them was something new, something welcomed, something that made them happy.  Laugh a little if Beck thought about it closely.

“I can take care of myself.” They said. After all of those fake friends, after all of the pain they went through, it was still hard to trust completely.  However… Beck looked at Zoey, the only one who Beck felt relaxed with. Their best friend, the first one to treat them as what they were even after knowing the truth. Beck didn’t miss Farmsville at all. “See ya later, beautiful.”

“I´ll be waiting right here”

~~X~~

They won’t ever admit it, but after they heard Poppy saying that the project was in the Downtown Animal Rescue Beck was excited. Puppies, kitty cats, animals! Beck love them greatly, wholeheartedly. They were their weakness; their adoration was so much so Beck considered seriously taking the vet path almost all their life, if having not found music, their story would´ve been completely different right now. That´s why they couldn’t refrain themselves of stopping at each enclosure to coo over the animals, losing all sense of self-respect over them. Especially after a pup ugly, dummy looking like showed up with the most adorable face they ever seen.

“Oh boy, you’re so ugly I luv ya Tushie-face! Who’s a precious ugly-boy? Uhm? Who’s a precious ugly-boy~” The little pug barked happily, enjoying the attention. “You’re perfect! You’re…”

“… nice to see so many new additions.” Beck heard, stopping them at the moment. Beck was sure it was Poppy, but she sounded… “I guess that means a lot of these little guys are being adopted?” … different. Again.

“Yes, Ms. Min-Sinclair.” A young voice answered, without fear, with respect. A good kind of respect. “We have a ten percent higher adoption rate than last year” Uhh, that sounded good. For some random reason, Beck showed the thumbs up to the ugly pug, flashing him a stupid smile at which the pup moved his tail as if he understand what it meant and agreed.

But then… Poppy laughed.

A real laugh. A nice, non-threatening, actually kind of cute laugh. So honest that they felt terrible attracted to it.

“No… Oh, no, no, no… No. Don't you even think about…”

As if their body was its own person, Beck rounded the corner, wanted so badly to see how a laughter so sincere looked like in Poppy´s face, like some weird kind of siren song they had to see with their own eyes. Instead, Beck saw her talking to one of the shelter’s employees, hugging and stroking a bichon frise puppy´s tummy softly, lovingly. Their heart stopped just a second, running wild immediately after.

“God… she’s so…”

“DON´T!” And they slapped their self. Hard. Beck deserved it. They couldn't… they won’t… They refused to…

The sound where so loud it called the attention of both Poppy and the other guy, while Beck felt the stinging and burning on his now red cheek. Ok, maybe~ they didn't have to do that, actually, the expression on Poppy´s face the moment she saw them, a sour, angry one, was the only thing they needed to feel normal again towards her.

“You're late” Why, hello to you too.

“I´m sorry, it's just that I was playing with Tushie face and…”

“Tushie face?” Beck couldn’t tell if she was amused or making fun of how stupid they were. “That´s how you pet-name?” Poppy added, raising an eyebrow. Beck shrugged.

“If you have a tushie face, then you are a tushie face. Simple as that” Based on Poppy's smirk, they should’ve stay quiet.

“Uhm… Alright, tushie face.” Damn it! “Come with me.” She then gave them a wink, smiling as if they both had now a new secret, before walking toward the back of the kennels.

Fuck.

“So… how do you knew about this place?” Beck asked, very willing to replace the topic to literally anything.

“If you must know, my parents bought me this shelter when I was eight.”

“What?”

“Really? Why?”

“I wanted a dog. Mommy and Daddy didn't want pets in the house… Et, voila”

Beck looked around, the place had now a new light after what they just learned. All this place was Poppy's, just because her parents didn’t approve animals at home. Unintentionally, Beck chuckled, feeling Poppy’s gaze on them almost immediately.

“What’s so funny?” She asked, irritated.

“We’re really very different but the same at once” They said. “Ever since I was a kid, my parents taught me to work with every single farm animal. Cleaning them, feed them, love them… I even helped bring life into this world.” Beck told her, twisting their lips. “I had a lot of different pets back at home. So do you right here. You see?”

“You’re forgetting about the fact the whole point of a place like this isn't for the animals to stay forever…” She said, vulnerable. Beck did actually get that, the hollow feeling that comes after something like that.

“Well… at least they’re not dinner”

Surprisingly, that comment made her chuckle just a little and Beck felt so good to be the one to take away that fragile expression in Poppy’s face. She was definitely more beautiful when she was happy. When she was laughing.

“You are right, that's even worse.”

They both looked at each other for a moment, some complicity in their own way, as if they both shared something, a sentiment that almost nobody felt, both understood each other, at least in one little but significant thing: They both learned very young what it's like to love innocently and truly, to have an unconditional companion, just to lose it to the “greater purpose” again and again. Both learned to never get really attached to anyone.

“But whatever, it gets the humanitarians off our back.” Just as if the conversation never happened, Poppy went back to the factory mode. “Which is why we’re really here. I’m fully aware of your popularity in YouTube, especially after your little performance, so hopefully this project we’re doing will get some good press for us to get the adoption rate it to, at least, 20 percent this year.”

“So this is why you wanted to work with me…” Beck didn't know why, but a little part of themselves felt disappointed… what was them expecting anyway?

Soon they both reach the back of the room, and while Poppy walked in as if it was completely routine, Beck had to stop for a second. A whole crew was already set up, cameras, microphones, lights, everything. A lot of cute pups and cats of all ages were also there looking adorable, sure they were the real stars of all this, but Beck couldn't help but feeling intimidated.

However, it was Poppy’s attitude the one thing that took all Beck’s attention though all the day.

She was kind, professional, caring… making sure of one thing above it all: to have the best commercial of all times for an animal shelter. The way she treated the employees, the animals, people around her… it was like a completely different side of her they never seen before. Poppy even, against all odds, treated Beck as what they were: her project partner. Giving them a fair share of lines, taking care of capturing their best angle, how happy they looked between all those cute little animals. Directing Beck to make sure every detail was perfect, being polite and respectful while doing so.

She was acting as a selfless but powerful leader, and Beck couldn’t take her eyes off of her the whole time. She even managed to convince them to adopt that tushi faced puppy, pointed out that they both had choose each other right at the moment they meet.

“Just look at the way he's watching you!” She said playfully. “You two are really connected.”

“Do you really think so?” Beck asked, playing with the pup. They really wanted to take the little guy home, be able to give him a good life, having another friend in their life. One not farm related at least. Beck felt Poppy coming closer, resting her hand on Beck's shoulder while watching little tushi face with a soft smile.

“I know so. But the real question is: what do you think?”

And now, Beck had a dog named Pepes.

~~X~~

Once they knew every detail was taken care of, and the adoption paperwork were all right, Poppy, Beck and little Pepes walked out the shelter. Personally, they felt drained out, because although they were used to cameras, it was always under their own terms and time, their own edition, their own personal rhythm, but after that day, Beck was seriously considering the idea of being backstage musician, unlike Poppy, who actually looked as fresh as a cucumber.

“Damn, Pops. I have to admit it: you were awesome there.” They said, Pepes barking enthusiastic, agreeing.

“Were you expecting something less?” She said, some mischievous sparkle in her eyes Beck couldn't quite place. “Now, take me to lunch.”

“I'm sorry? Why would I do that?”

“Because…” She started to say, sassiness taking over her. “… I acted, arranged, produce and direct a fully perfect commercial to our project while you just played around with puppies and looked cute. The very least you can do is buy me lunch. I'm starving.”

“Oh, so you think I'm cute?” Beck flirted. It was impossible to let it pass by.

“Like it was a secret” Poppy smirked.

“… What?”

“I’m not blind, Hughes. You are actually very good-looking. It´s not a secret.” Beck was shocked, did they really just heard a compliment from the one Poppy Min-Sinclair that wasn’t commercial related? They looked at her, expecting some irony or double meaning, maybe some hint of a trap, but no…  She was being completely sincere. Beck snorted, it was cool they guessed.

“Now, that's a compliment.” Poppy rolled her eyes evidently, pretending to be irked, but that little smile on her lips proved to be the opposite.

“Hello? My lunch?” Beck laughed, how can she be so rude and yet so cute at the same time? Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

Maybe.

“Whatever you want, bossy-ass”

----

Next

[manjuhitorie]

Shinoda’s Instagram Q&A December 2020 - Translated (Some)

Question “It's been a while since you last did one of these!”

Shinoda “Long time no doing, let's do this”

Q “I loved your new song” SND “THX”

Q ”Do you have any preferred eye medicine? My eyes have been aching as of late” SND “Nope  When mine hurt I go to the eye doctor.”

Q ”I want to finish my thesis and plop like a log already.” SND “You can plop like a log once you finish, probably

Q “Nice work with the live stream!! Are your muscle pains feeling any better?” SND “Fortunately   They're all better now.”

Q “The live stream was super amazing. You were ignored so much during the MCs, I felt bad. SND “Normally the others do in fact talk to me quite a bit, normally at least. Strange.”

Q “SHINODADIDYOUGAINWEIGHT?” SND “Some people tell me I look like I lost weight, some people tell me I look like I gained weight. I don't have a scale in my house so I don't actually know but, I think I'm way better than I was earlier this year. “

Q “Why did you scream that "KOOOOOOON" thing during the live stream earlier?” SND “That was a homage to GG Allin”

Q “Are you in contact with Yamada Ryuuichi? (The vocalist and guitarist of Buzz Mothers)” SND “In spring of this year he had hit me up with a "You doing okay?" and I replied with "I'm so-so."

Q “My significant other if telling me they'll commit suicide if we break up. I'm scared, I can't take this anymore. Am I going to become a murderer..😢” SND “A break up merely means to choose not to walk the same path as another anymore. If that's what you desire then there's no need to agonize over their threats so much.  Also you won't be a murderer.”

Q “Your new song was so good! The singing looks so hard though, are you a masochist?” SND “I had written the song with the intent to lessen my workload but it still somehow ended up being crazy fucking difficult. Why does this happen?”

Q “What's in the background of this Instagram story?” SND “This is the jersey I had worn during last year's tour.”

Q “I just learned of you today, I just came to be fan today.” SND “'nice to meet you'”

Q “It's been a while! My senpai with a big dick can't seem to find a job*! That's all I have to say!” SND ”Even though his dick is so big, huhh I guess things can't always go well*”

Q “What are you doing to pass the time these days?” SND “I've been watching Arupi Channel or Kamomental's skits or New York (The comedy duo)’s skits.”

Q “The reading of 伽藍如何前零番地 seems to differ depending on site or person, may I ask the correct reading?” SND “'Garandou Mae Zero Banchi' ....I'm sure?”

Q “It's been a while, I'm happy to see you~! Who are you rooting for in these year's M-1 tournie?” SND “Tokyo Hoteisonn, New York, ???, Oswald, West Land.....    I just can't wait to see everyone.”

Q “It's been 1 year since I graduated, I can't find work anymore and I'm in the gutter everyday. Can I bother you for some words of encouragement? 👼” SND “Back when I first joined Hitorie, my guitar playing was still shit. Often I would go home absolutely pooped. It took me a long time to learn how to play with confidence. Turns out it's kinda important to constantly be figuring out where you're lacking, and never slack off in this front.”

Q “There's huge ass swelling on my wisdom tooth and I'm getting mouth inflammation all at the same time, I really feel the rush of the end of the year. It hurts” SND “About your wisdom tooth, just go to the dentist. About your inflammation, there's this type of gelatin you can coat your mouth with, that stuff's great.”

Q “Did you purposefully ask what time it was during the concert to reference song lyrics?” SND “I was merely interested in the time.”

Q “Would you prefer being with someone whom you love but is tough to be around, or with someone whom you don't love but is fun to be around?” SND “There's more fish in the sea, I don't think it's impossible to find someone you love whom is also fun to be around.”

Q “I also recognized the place you streamed the concert from too! I was getting excited at my desk.” SND “That threw me for a loop, it hit me as soon as I saw it.”

Q “I started reading Ninja to Gokudou. SND “It's fantastic ain't it.”

Q “Do you know Doraemon? If you do then please I would like to know which of his secret weapons you would most like to have.” SND “Memory Bread.”

Q “During SLEEPWALK I was worried that you might trip on your cables, but how is it on your side?” SND “I try to be careful, to a degree at least...”

Q “Do you recommend any Yakuza movies?” SND “The Ninja Dragon“

Q “I got shivers watching your Namid[A]me performance the other day.” SND “I still had stamina at that point in the show.”

Q “You always seem to sweat even when you wear short sleeves, and you were wearing long sleeves during the concert the other day. Were you not hot? SND “Naw, not especially”

Q 'Nana nama mugi, nana nama kome, nana nama tamago' in JP romaji, (lit. Seven raw wheats, seven raw rices, seven raw eggs), is hard to say” SND “Well it's purposefully made to be”

Q “My first love was the author of Inumayuge de Iko, Inazuka Yuuko-sensei. Do you feel me?” SND “You have good taste.”

Q “I got a boyfriend AND broke up with him in the span it took for you to return Shinoda-san!” SND ”Cheers.”

Q “Any artists you're into recently?” SND “BIBI”

Q “You seem to be sticking with the bob haircut?” SND “You're right...”

Q “Do you have the problem with Vans shoes wherein you slip if they get wet?” SND ”I personally haven't slipped much... Not much anyway”

Q “This Sunday I have my first non-virtual concert in 11 months, gimme some supporttt.” SND “Even you, huh. Even you’re gonna stand up in front of a live audience before I do.”

Q “What’s up with the curved edge album cover?” SND “Apparently it’s a bonsai tree”

Q “I can't stand injections, any tips on how to get over my fears?“ SND “Think about how it’s down with the least painful of all the painful things in life, it doesn’t hurt like a crap all that much, and you do it for your health. All in all it’s a plus, it doesn’t fill your heart with pain or anything.”

Q “Do you know any ways for me to get over my ex-boyfriend...” SND “There’s people who push to get a new partner as soon as possible then make a fool of themselves, just to try and get over their ex. Just take care not to do that.”

Q “You’re way too good at guitar?! How are you so good?! I really respect you SND “Icchi of Kaisoku Tokyo is better.”

Q “I can’t get enough of your new song so I set it as my alarm! It plays 7 times every morning!“ SND “Don’t people end up hating the songs they set as their alarm? Is this okay?”

Q “I loved your new song and stream. No doubt your voice sounded like wowaka’s.” SND “Now’s a good chance for me to say this. I don’t know if I sound like him or anything like that but..... Y’know how people can simulate a singer’s style? I didn’t intend to do anything like that either. So then why do people say this to me? I wondered and realized..

When recording backup vocals, it’s standard to follow the main vocalist’s style. So I needed to analyze Leader’s singing to a degree. I had to do that for numbers of songs for numbers of years, so subconsciously Leader’s style must’ve etched itself into my singing style as well. So it’s not that I’m simulating him, it’s that as a result I’ve just managed to simulate him.”

Q “I’m not sure if I should propose to my boyfriend or not. What would make him say yes..” SND “On your left arm write the words “Go register now” “100% registering for a marriage certificate” “Marriage marriage let’s get married”, then casually roll up your sleeves in front of your boyfriend. This is the key to victory.”

Q “Complicated girls all seem to have black bob hair, are there any normal girls with black bob hair out there?” SND “If there was a normal girl with black bob hair, that in itself would be complicated!!!!”

Q “I was so worried about you after you bonked your head with the mic last concert, did you get in trouble with the higher ups for that?” SND “The band ‘SuiseiNoboAz’ smashed their head into their guitars like 100 times, the band ‘my way my love’ smashed into their drums like 100 million times... So that much was child’s play. I didn’t get in trouble.”

[imnotdonewiththeelementalists]

PILLOW TALK

Pairing: Kamilah x MC

MC name: Amy (default)

Warning: little bit of angst, a jealous fit, breach of privacy, a lot of fluff, pinches of smut

Summary: This is my idea of the discussion that Amy had with Kamilah after the kiss with Serafine in the club.

               Sex with Kamilah was better than ever. What was already amazing when Amy was a human, has become indescribably fantastic after she was turned into a vampire. The same could be said about the Bloodkeeper’s feelings for the Egyptian, she loved her devotedly: she was her maker, she had her brand, she was her Queen and she was hers, totally hers.

                Right before being killed by Gaius, the then human heard from the Ahmanet’s CEO what she has considered the biggest love statement someone has ever said to her, even though the key line “I love you” wasn’t used in it, instead she said “I’m her Queen. And she’s mine!”

               Listening to the former leader of the Clan Sayeed telling to her evil ex that she didn’t belong to him anymore, but instead she belonged to Adrian’s assistant was more emotional and meaningful than a marriage proposal.

               If the circumstances were slightly different, if there wasn’t a psychopath vampire trying to kill her & all her friends plus slaughter humankind, Amy would have thrown herself into Kamilah’s arms and kissed her senseless without any hesitation after those words.

               Yet, all that certainty the younger vampire had about the Blood Queen’s feelings for her, not only inspired by that moment right before she died, but also by the vision she had of the older vampire mourning her death and saying among tears that she loved Amy, was dissolved by one recent event that was troubling the Bloodkeeper A LOT.

               Few weeks ago, Amy went to a nightclub with Adrian, Kamilah and Serafine and, overwhelmed by all new sensations she was experimenting since becoming a vampire, kissed the psychic vampire right in front of the Blood Queen.

               She didn’t do it on purpose. It was rather an impulse she was unable to control, since everything was exacerbated after becoming a vampire and she was still learning how to deal with her new condition.

               So, the French vampire was there, attractive, alluring, seductive; they both were drinking… and when Amy realised… well, when the Egyptian vampire interrupted them… she was kissing Serafine.

               She never had the intention to cheat on the CEO or to make her jealous. And the problem with that situation at the nightclub was that… well… Kamilah wasn’t jealous… AT ALL… and this was exactly was bothering the Bloodkeeper.

               The younger vampire didn’t even have the opportunity to feel guilty about kissing another woman in front of the Blood Queen, because instead of being upset, the older vampire looked rather amused with it.  Indeed, she seemed far more invested in the pool game they were playing than in the fact that Adrian’s assistant was kissing someone else in her presence.

                It was true that they never had “the talk” to establish their relationship status, but the nonchalant reaction of Kamilah after all they’ve been through together really hurt the newly turned.

                And to make things worse, they never discussed that event after it happened and the former leader of Clan Sayeed continued to act as if anything had taken place, which only caused Amy to feel more insecure.

                The cruel doubt about Kamilah’s feelings – “Does she love me? Does she even care about me? If she cares about me, why didn’t she care I was kissing another woman?” – was disturbing the younger vampire so deeply, that the supposed indifference of the Egyptian vampire had the effect of making Amy jealous of everyone in the CEO’s past, including Serafine & Gaius.

                And there she was, lying down naked in Kamilah’s bed after another night of wild sex, but unable to sleep, because the thoughts about the older vampire mixed signs were too strong  to allow her to rest.

                On the other hand, there was also the Blood Queen naked by her side, but sleeping peacefully after a night of passion, as a big spoon, holding close her Bloodkeeper with an arm around her waist.

                So, taking advantage of her insomnia and of the fact Kamilah was sleeping like a baby by her side, totally relaxed with a full open mind and steady physical contact, Amy decided to navigate through the Egyptian vampire’s memories and see how she used to act with her former lovers, how she used to act around HIM.

                As expected, the outcome of the Bloodkeeper’s trip through the CEO’s mind was as disastrous as it would be for any lover to reading the love letters exchanged between their significant other and their exes. What was she thinking?

                It doesn’t matter how Gaius ended his days, Kamilah was his consort for almost 2000 years and they did have a meaningful love story together. It wasn’t a beautiful one, provided the amount of bloodshed caused by both in their relationship, but even so it was genuine in their way.

                The younger vampire saw the older vampire telling Gaius that she loved him, she saw them having sex and enjoying it, she saw her being jealous of him, she saw them fighting  (to each other and side by side), she saw them making up, she saw them taking care of each other, being loyal and affectionate, she saw them being a couple as any other, she saw that they truly loved each other.

                After three hours literally watching the most relevant relationship the woman she loves ever had, the newly turned couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much seeing the Blood Queen doing to him everything she was resenting Kamilah wasn’t doing to her right now. “Why isn’t she so devoted to me as she was to him? She doesn’t care about me. Those words were only words.”

                As result, she started to crying softly in the Egyptian’s embrace. But what began as a soft cry has quickly evolved to sobs that Amy couldn’t control, waking the Ahmanet CEO up.

                “Are you OK?” Asked Kamilah, startled by Amy’s sudden cry.

                “I’m fine, don’t worry.” The Bloodkeeper whispered, embarrassed that she had woken the Egyptian up.

                “Are you sure? Did you have a nightmare?” The worried CED questioned, gently turning the younger vampire around, so she could look at her face.

                And as usual, looking into the older vampire’s eyes was the end of the newly turned. Those deep brown eyes, that always pierced her soul whenever she looked at them, now with a concerned expression only made Amy to cry more despairingly, because at the same time she didn’t feel properly loved, that expression in Kamilah’s face irradiated a warmth that also made her feel home, bringing her even more incertitude.

                The Blood Queen didn’t have a clue what was going on and the only reaction that she could have was to embrace Amy tightly and starting to cradle her.

                “Shhhh… baby…. Shhhh… calm down… please, don’t despair… I’m by your side and you’re safe with me…”. Kamilah said, trying to comfort the Bloodkeeper.

                Those words soothed the younger vampire, who after a while calmed her nerves and was quiet in the Egyptian’s embrace, like if she was bewitched by the slow and steady beating of her heart.

                 “What has happened, Amy? Why were you so desperate? Why are you so sad?” The older vampire asked her after noticing that Adrian’s assistant was calmer, while drying her tears with her thumbs.

                “I had a vision…” Amy responded, still unsure whether she’d have the guts to confess to the Blood Queen that she was prying her past for the last hours.

                “A vision? Was it bad? Have you seen any threat?” Kamilah inquired, already becoming uneasy.

                It has never crossed the former leader of the Clan Sayeed’s mind that her lover was crying because of her, since she actually thought things were great between them! The only logical explanation for the Bloodkeeper’s despair that occurred to her was that she might have seen a huge supernatural threat in her visions, perhaps something involving Rheya.

                Not being able to cope anymore with so much doubt and pain, especially after Kamilah’s still oblivious reaction, the younger vampire gathered all her courage and decided to tell her lover what she was feeling.

                “I know it might sound like an invasion of privacy, but I was going through your memories whilst you were sleeping and I basically saw your whole story with Gaius.” The newly turned said, straightening up on the bed and looking directly into Kamilah’s eyes.

                “Oh! I see.” The Egyptian mumbled, looking at Amy’s with her brows furrowed.

                Indeed, the CEO froze when she heard what the Bloodkeeper had just revealed, because, better than anyone, she knew what she lived with Gaius, she was aware of the vicious beings they were together and she didn’t want the younger vampire to see those terrible things she’s done in the past, because she regretted them all.

                One second after the impact of Amy’s revelations, the older vampire composed herself, leaning back against the bed’s headboard.

                “What did you see that has made you so afflicted?” The Blood Queen, with her usual calm, questioned the newly turned, hoping that she wasn’t so nervous because of one of the atrocities she has committed in the past.

                “I saw the way you were so loving with him, how you cared about him, how you were jealous of him, how you lived like he was your whole world. And you don’t do any of that to me. Instead, you only give me mixed signs, one time you’re affectionate and protective, next time your indifferent and distant. I’m sad because sometimes you make me feel I’m only a pastime to you.” Amy replied with tears rolling down her face again.

                Listening those words from her lover was really bittersweet to the CEO. 

                It was sweet because the Bloodkeeper wasn’t troubled because of the older vampire’s past actions. She felt relieved that the girl hasn’t judged her any second for all evil she has done in her life. If that had happened, the mighty Blood Queen’s heart would be shattered in millions of pieces. So, her first reaction was to quirk her lips into an imperceptible smile, while she hugged the newly turned.

                On the other hand, her words were bitter because if Amy was confused about Kamilah’s feelings, it meant that the she wasn’t being clear enough about them to her beloved Bloodkeeper and she couldn’t forgive herself for that.

                “What did make you think I see you just as a pastime? What has triggered you to go through my memories?” The Egyptian inquired the younger vampire, separating from their hug to look at her, trying to understand her feelings.

                “My kiss with Serafine at the club the other day… You didn’t seem to bother to see me kissing another woman…” Adrian’s assistant responded, looking down at her hands, blushing a little bit for confessing that to the older vampire.

                “Amy… baby… that kiss was nothing! At least I assumed it was nothing. Or was it? Do you have feelings for Serafine?” The Blood Queen asked, tilting the newly turned’s head up with a finger below her chin, so she could look at her.

                “I…I don’t feel anything for Serafine… It was just lust!” Amy answered, blushing even harder.

                “So… there was nothing for me to worry about or to be jealous of then…” Kamilah chuckled,  caressing the Bloodkeeper’s cheeks.

                “What? You can’t be serious, right?” The younger vampire fumed, extremely disappointed at the Egyptian, moving her hands off her face.  “I know we’re not official, but I’d feel outraged if you kissed another woman right in front of me. If it doesn’t bother you, it means you don’t care.” She snapped at the CEO, really irritated.

                 “I’m sorry, but you’re reading the situation all wrong… ”. The older vampire said, trying to reason with her lover, who at this point was getting angrier as some bad thoughts were already running around inside her head – “How  come Kamilah be so cold and insensitive? She’s playing games with me”!

                Fuelled by these thoughts, the newly turned interrupted the Blood Queen.

                “Please, the last thing I need from you is this patronising tone of yours… I saw how amused you were when you saw us kissing and then how indifferent you acted after that. It seemed like the pool game was more important to you… Were you hoping Serafine would take me home, so you’d get rid from me? Do you have someone else? If you have, please, be honest and tell me, I won’t be in your way anymore, but I don’t want to be deceived.” Amy exploded in fury, her eyes turning red.

                Kamilah got even more surprised with the Bloodkeeper’s reaction. She finally realised that her lover was actually having a jealous fit. And the most ironic thing about it was that it was happening due to a situation that, if the Egyptian was a mortal, she would probably be the one who was angry and not the junior vampire.

                So, Kamilah took both Amy hands between hers and calmly talked to the newly turned, grabbing her attention.

                “Amy, I’m sorry if my actions made you think I don’t care about you, but it’s not like that. You’re very important to me. I understand that until a couple of weeks ago you were a human and that you still think like one. But as the time goes by, you’ll realise that as a vampire with an immortal life, the concepts of monogamy and love have completely different perspective to us. We don’t live years, we live centuries, in my case millennia. The feelings become much more important than the pleasures of the flesh. You may have probably seen that I used to have an open relationship with Gaius when you went through my memories. ” The CEO said trying to reassure the younger vampire about her feelings.

                “Oh, cut the crap, Kamilah. I saw you being jealous of Gaius. Indeed, I saw you being everything with him that we’ve never been. We’ve been going out for over a year and our relationship isn’t even official yet. Why can’t you simply admit you don’t take me seriously? I expected you to be more honest.” The newly turned vociferated at the older vampire, making clear what she wanted from the Blood Queen.

                After hearing her lover’s furious words, Kamilah realised that Amy was right, it was already time to have “the talk” they were postponing due to all events that happened after Gaius’ death. Not even the apocalypse could adjourn that conversation anymore.

                The Egyptian vampire cupped the face of the Bloodkeeper with both hands, moving her face, so they were looking into each other’s eyes and the Blood Queen started to talk with a very serious demeanour.

                “What you saw in my memories is the result of almost 2000 years of relationship. I’m not ashamed of it, because everything I       ‘ve been through in my past is what has brought us here. Although I must confess, I profoundly regret all the evil I have caused alongside Gaius.”

                After saying these words, Kamilah sighed deeply to gather herself again, because it was painful remembering all her wrongdoings, but she carried on speaking, with hands still cupping Amy’s face with eyes fixated on hers.

                “As I’ve told you before, I loved him and, even though our love was forged in darkness and he only brought up the worse in me, it was real. I wasn’t his victim; I was his partner and we were like that until we started to walk different paths.”

                Tears started to stream down Kamilah’s face as she closed her eyes and continued to talk, never letting the younger vampire’s face go.

                “Undoubtedly, he was an important chapter in my life, but he’s now just part of my past. Both our relationship and my feelings for him were over long time ago. I’ve evolved and moved on from the moment I’ve met Adrian, because he brought my humanity back, but I’ve only stopped mourning that failed relationship and redeemed myself after I’ve met you.”

                Kamilah opened her eyes again and looked once more directly into Amy’s eyes, that at this time didn’t have any other reaction than gaping at the tenderness that the former leader of the Clan Sayeed was looking at her, who continued to talk, still cupping her lover’s face with both hands.

                “Amy, anything I had with him can’t be compared to what I have with you. He only had darkness to offer me. My life was a maze in which I was lost until I found you and all I had to do was to follow your light, so I could find myself again. And imagine how odd it is for us to be together, because if we had followed the due course of nature, we wouldn’t have ever met each other. I was supposed to have died 2000 years ago and you were supposed to be dead if I hadn’t turned you. But here we are, the fate has united us and love between us has simply taken place. My heart takes me too close to yours. And your heart is so free that traps mine. And my trapped heart doesn’t even know why my love for you is bigger than myself.”

                Hearing those words from Kamilah was more than anything that Adrian’s assistant has ever expected that the Egyptian would ever say. So, Amy threw herself in the Blood Queen’s arms and kissed her passionately until they parted to breath some air.

                The older vampire still panting, touched her forehead against the newly turned’s and said “I not only love you, Amy! I adore you. Do you accept to make our relationship official and be my girlfriend?”

               “Yes, as long as we’re the only ones in each other’s lives.” Amy answered her giving soft kisses all over Kamilah’s face.

                 “So, no hopes of a threesome with Serafine…” The Egyptian kissed the tip of her lover’s nose and cheekily pouted.

                Amy jokingly smacked Kamilah’s cheeks with both hands, holding her pout in place and giving it several pecks.

                “I can’t believe you Kamilah… This was why you were so amused when I kissed Serafine, wasn’t? Were you picturing us in a threesome?” The newly turned smirked, finally understanding the reaction of the CEO when she kissed Serafine.

                Kamilah just smirked and nodded teasingly, confirming what Amy asked.

                “You two kissing were as hot as hell, I must admit! That really turned me on…” The Blood Queen confessed, whilst she started to massage Amy’s breasts. “But then, as I wasn’t so sure if reality would be as hot as my fantasy… I decided to focus on the game to cool myself down.” She whispered in the Bloodkeeper’s ear.

                “You kinky vampire…” Amy said, with eyes closed meanwhile she leaned into Kamilah’s touch. “There’s no such thing as vampire monogamy concept in our relationship. It’s human monogamy concept through and through for us.” The newly turned said between moans as the Blood Queen’s fingers were already in the place she wanted them to be.

                 “OK, my sweet vampire thing, just the two of us, I’m only yours and you’re only mine.” Kamilah answered, before shutting up Amy’s moans with a fiery kiss on her lips.

[thesugarace]

Alright

I finished HLITF season 1 for Kaga and I SWEAR TO ALL 12 ZODIAC GODS

VOLTAGE. PEAKED!!!! AT KAGA’S SEQUEL

THIS STORY IS AN ABSOLUTE 

(Early warning: minor/major spoilers and a lot of rants/fangirling/thirst etc etc all bec I just absolutely love this story and I feel the need to share this love with everyone. Also, I keep seeing everyone hating on MC in this but I actually really liked her here and so I MUST defend her)

Okay

First of all look. loOK. LOOK AT THESE CGS!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE WE GET A HOT AND SEXY KAGA CG, A LITERALLY STEAMY ROMANTIC CG AND A BOMB AF STORY ALL FOR $3 EYE-

And oh my huedhaut dont even get me started on the story. It was absolutely on point. It has everything a HLITF story promises to have:

justice in the eyes of our straightlaced MC vs the PSD ✔️

Conflict btwn Kaga and MC precisely because of that ✔️

Our girl pulling a vanishing act bec she refused to compromise her values ✔️

the refusal of each side to back down and their love for each other TEARING THEM APART INSIDE ✔️

OUR GIRL SHOWING OFF HOW INSIGHTFUL SHE REALLY IS AND FINDING A SOLID AF LEAD ✔️

MC’S GROWTH in finding a somewhat compromise between her principles and what is required of her as a PSD detective ✔️

And of course, my absolute favourite: ANGSTY ANGSTY MY-WORLD-IS-ENDING-BECAUSE-MY-MC-IS-IN-DANGER-ANGSTY KAGA ✔️

Okay, I need to address the one thing that everyone just hates about this story en masse and it’s MC. Personally, I dont agree with her about the some parts, especially the interrogation because she did hinder an investigation and in law enforcement that is one big No-No but I do see where she’s coming from, especially with the surveillance thing and the whole copping out and literally running away to the countryside. I saw reviews abt her being completely naive but seriously, put yourself in the position of the one being spied. She’s so against it because to the suspect, what they’re doing could be harmful to him, especially so if he was innocent. I think as a person, she believes in the more publically-accepted justice - the kind of justice that everyone wants but is really very difficult to obtain.

And this is where we get to the beauty of this story. As per their MO, the PSD is ready to do whatever it takes to get the culprit even it means breaking the law. They’re desperate to get the culprit because people are actually getting hurt and the longer this guy gives them the slip, the more people are going to get hurt. Even in MSB, its been established that to the PSD, the end ALWAYS justify the means and they dont give a shit if they look like criminals for it. So this is where the conflict arises between MC and the PSD guys. For the PSD, there’s an opportunity where they might get the culprit but its illegal and for MC, what the PSD wants to do is too risky for something only based on suspicion; she wants to stay on the legal path but she has no lead whatsoever and time is not on either side. People dont seem to realise the weight of MC’s viewpoint and have a tendency to think of ‘officers doing something illegal’ as something as light as jaywalking or smt. No, these institutions have a wide reach and one misstep could bring harmful repercussions onto countless innocent people not to mention the implications of their actions on their integrity as an institution of the law and the integrity of the entire justice system. However, the PSD’s side is a lot more true to reality albeit in more complex situations: their duty beyond all else is to prevent crime and there are times when there really seems to be no way. I’ve been working in law for the past few years and this is a classic dilemma that has been simplified but quite well executed in this context. Justice is not as clear cut as the right way, the right end. The law may simply be black words on white paper but different circumstances dye it with their own colours. This is where MC is lacking. She’s like a freshman at law school - someone who truly believes in the importance of justice but actually has little idea what that actually entails. She is not entirely naive but more in a sense that she’s never been confronted with these kind of complex high-stakes situations (she worked in a police box before this for Ichthys’s sake) and that inexperience disables her from seeing and evaluating the entire situation from the PSD’s pov. For her, its like playing poker for the first time and she’s already betting with the million dollar chips.

The second thing I REALLY must defend her in is the whole quitting from the academy. For the love of Zyglavis, she did NOT run away just because Kaga told her she’s not suited for PSD, it was just the trigger. Lemme put it in a different scenario (btw this scenario is not meant to mirror the situation, its only meant to evoke how MC felt in the story) Imagine you live in a city and you and your significant other are living together. A pandemic has struck your city but everyone refuses to wear a mask and the government is even encouraging people not to wear a mask. You know that wearing a mask slows down the spread of the virus and you are trying to convince people to wear one but they just ignore you. The number of cases is dropping and people think its because they dont wear masks unlike other cities but you know that people should still wear masks or the numbers might spike. So you try to convince everyone to wear a mask and people start berating you for being so stupid as to believe that masks will slow down the spread of the virus when the numbers are dropping without the city wearing them. You go home and your significant other berates you for forcing other people to wear a mask and says ‘since you wanna wear a mask so badly, get out of my house and move out of town’ That’s what it felt like for MC: the absolute frustration + sadness from the rejection of what she truly believes in by the people she’s surrounded by. Time and time again in the story, she’s confronted with the fact that the justice she believes in is not the justice PSD serves. For someone who is working towards joining the PSD, that has to be killing her inside every time. It just serves as a reminder that she is not suited for PSD nor is she what PSD wants in a detective, something she has been struggling with since MS1 but she perseveres perhaps because of her dream to become a detective or because of her aspirations to someday be Kaga’s equal or at least be someone he considers he can rely on. I really believe it’s the second one, after all, it was his rejection of her that really broke her inside and finally convinced her to quit. That’s why if you buy the ending set, you’ll see in the extra stories that Kaga gets extremely angry AT HIMSELF that MC quit the academy. He knows that our persistent Kappa doesnt give up so easily, not even when he scolded her for ruining his interrogation. Its because all these factors built up and he was the one to push her over her limit. So yes, our girl is not fragile yall. She’s just been through so much and I honestly dont blame her for leaving like one order of R&R for our MC here, she deserves it thanks. 

Okay, I need to end this soon cause its starting to get too long but what made me really love her here is the whole LIME thing. That part made love her so much because even when she quit on the academy, there’s still a fire inside her to do what it takes to achieve justice, even if it meant relying on the people she didnt agree with. Even when she was so broken inside believing that she’s not one of them, she’s not needed by them, she’s not worthy of helping them; she just wants to help!

IM SO FREAKING SOFT FOR HER BECAUSE THIS GIRL WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IS STILL FIGHTING IN HER OWN WAY AND JKASHFHASKJHAKSHKJHGA BRB CRYING

ALSO 

THAT BLOODY PHONE CALL OH MY FREAKING SCORPIO THAT PHONE CALL. I died when he told her that quitting is not an excuse to leave his side. THESE TWO EYE-

Okay, you have to read that phone call scene from both sides because then you’ll see how much these two are being stubborn because they still dont accept the other’s pov abt the case but at the same time how much they love and miss each other is gnawing at them inside AND THEYRE STRUGGLING TO HOLD ALL THOSE EMOTIONS BACK WHEN THEY HEAR EACH OTHERS’ VOICES OVER THE PHONE FREAKING KRIOFF TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE

Anyways, I really enjoyed reading season 1 for Kaga, especially because of his MC - I see her actually growing from the small police box officer to a PSD cadet and the sequel, especially, shows promise in how she’s going to navigate the world of law enforcement and facing difficult choices. Our girl really decided to return to the academy without finding a proper middle ground between her values and what PSD requires of her but she showed determination to work on it so I really hope we get to see more of that in later seasons. Also, WHIPPED Kaga is my fav but soft Kaga is up there as well. MC SAYING HE SOUNDED SAD OVER THE PHONE AND HER TEARING UP I CANT. THESE TWO ARE BAD FOR MY HEART.

Okay, Im not sure what I’ll be reading next. I kinda wanna start on his season 2 but considering how amazing this season is for Kaga, Im really curious abt the other characters so I might start on them before starting any season 2s. Also, idk if I would make these long argumentative-ish essays a thing but just idk why, my brain is really good at spewing essays out when it comes to HLITF and I think its fuelled by the panic from all my unfinished work so yay 

Thanks for reading!!!

[furvios]

Always Here For You

Pairing: Leviathan X MC

Summary: Leviathan gets a call from MC, it sounded urgent. The demon who has a pact with the human gets summoned immediately in the human world. But it wasn't as it seemed. Its been over a year since your return to the human world. You've gotten a part time job, have an apartment of your own, and.. a boyfriend. You've talked about your significant other to the brothers a handful of times so they're well aware of who he is and how special he means to you. Leviathan though, Avatar of Envy, has held grudges against him but chooses to be quiet about it for the sake of your happiness.

Leviathan sat inside his room playing games as usual. He leaned left and right as he played a racing game, bumping into cars and making them crash and spin upside down. "And... FINISHED!" He yelled with the biggest smile on his face. Belphegor sighed, "you're over exaggerating again." He said as he shook his head, putting the controller in his hands down.

"Pfft, you're just jealous that I keep winning." Leviathan proceeded to do his signature victory dance, even though he was terrible at dancing. Belphegor's phone dings, he takes it out of his pocket and checks the notification.

"Huh, seems like MC is enjoying themselves once again." Belphegor smiled at his phone. Leviathan hears your name and automatically makes his way to his younger brother's phone to see what you were up to.

"Why do you have Instagram? Isn't it forbidden here?" Leviathan asked. Belphegor rolled his eyes before letting out a small laugh, "do you really think I ever followed what was forbidden and what was not?" Leviathan just nodded and proceeded to look at his phone.

It was an Instagram story. You took a photo of a man sitting across you in a cafe with the puppy eye emoji and hearts. 2 minutes ago.

"You have turned on notification for MC?" He asked. Belphegor nodded with a raised brow, "it's really the only time I hear from them apart from messages and occasional calls, but that hasn't happened in a while since she does have-" Leviathan cuts his brother off with a sigh, dropping himself on the couch beside him.

"MC has been calling to you the most though. Everyone is jealous. Especially Mammon." He said. Leviathan shook his head, "at least you all knew about their boyfriend. MC hasn't told me about it until a month passed of them telling you guys."

"Because MC knows for a fact that you'd kill any person that involved themselves in their life that's not us or you." Leviathan stayed silent, trying to think of a way to debunk Belphegor's words but ended up failing. He noticed the expression in his older brother's face and just patted his back, "MC knows you. A little too well if you ask me."

"They haven't even messaged me in almost 2 weeks. Barely responds to me chats too. You know how sad it is to grind on games when I'm playing all alone and no one to talk to?"

"That's when you're wrong. You've used to love doing that. All that. You used to treasure being alone, playing alone, grinding on games alone, even talking to yourself, but ever since MC came into picture you've wanted nothing but someone to play with. That includes me right now."

"That's not true." Belphegor rolled his eyes, "don't pull a Mammon on me. I know you too, don't forget that. What did you think about when MC told you about their new boyfriend?"

"Wait there was an old one?" Leviathan raised his brows and looked at his brother. "Tell me."

The 3rd oldest just sighed, folding his arms and looked away like some sulking child that didn't get what they want. "I.. wanted him to die."

"Did you tell MC that?" He slowly shook his head in denial, "of course not. That would crush them and I don't want that. I don't want to hurt or see them hurt in any way. If that guy pulls anything.." Belphegor looked down and saw that Leviathan's fists were clenched tightly to the point his knuckles were turning slightly purple.

"You just wanna protect MC. I get it, we all do." Leviathan shook his head, "it's not just that.. it's also because.." his face was getting red a little bit, ashamed of what he was going to say. Belphegor snickered, "you want to be her boyfriend." He pointed.

Leviathan immediately stood up, "no, no, no, no, no. Impossible. No, nope, nopitty, nope. You're wrong." Belphegor rolled his eyes and was about to add something but was being pushed out by the Avatar of Envy. "Bye, it's time for you to go." He said as he pushed his younger brother out his room.

"But-" he slammed the door shut and rested his forehead against it. His knuckles clenched and his head looking down, he heaved a breath, "I just want MC to date someone that makes them happy. Someone they deserve.."

"They're special."

-

It was already about to be 4am and Leviathan still can't sleep. He can't blame his horrible sleeping schedule, he's not used to sleeping this early. He buried his head in a pillow and groaned loudly, trying to sleep his thoughts away.

"Maybe I should send a message. No, I can't and I won't. They have a boyfriend now and I can't go between that. MC's life is not to be controlled by me, yes. That's right." He thought to himself.

His phone rings and he gets startled by it. "What does Belphie want now." He sighed and reached for his phone. His eyes widened, body shaking when he saw your name on his notification.

MC - hey umm can we talk? I have a question to ask.. (sent 10 secs ago)

In a heartbeat, the demon responds immediately.

"Sure, but you haven't messaged me in 2 weeks!!!!" He looked at the message and deleted it.

Levi - what do you need?

Without any response, the otaku started glowing. "What the-" everything flashed the color white and next thing he knew he wasn't on his bed anymore. He was at a different place.

"What the fuck?!?!" He exclaimed. Confused, Leviathan looked around and that place didn't seem near familiar to him. He looked around the room he was in, examining the room. "Levi?" A voice called.

Leviathan knew that voice. He immediately went to where the voice was coming from and saw you on a bed with tears running down your eyes. He immediately ran to you, hands on your shoulders. "MC???? WHAT HAPPENED? WHO HURT YOU? WHERE ARE THEY??" His eyes were visibly glowing orange with rage, glaring.

"Levi.. I-" you choked on your words and started to sob. The boy wasn't experienced with these type of things but he watched enough shows to know what to do. "MC.. you can tell me anything, you know that." His hands still on your shoulders, he moves the other one on your cheek and wiped your tears off.

You looked back at him and that seemed to wake him up. He removes his hands from you as his face gets red. Leviathan suddenly keeps his distance, "right.. I forgot." He cleared his throat and looked away.

"That won't happen again, I'm sorry." He apologized but avoided looking at you. "Levi, it's fine-" he cuts you off, "it's not. You have a boyfriend. And if someone were to do that to my significant other I'd.." he stopped himself and just sat down on the corner of your bed.

"You mean... ex-boyfriend.." you said weakily. His eyes widened completely, jaw dropped. "He's the one that hurt you???? Oh boy I'm going to enjoy this-" you grab onto his arm when he was about to get up. "I just need you with me right now.."

Leviathan looked at your hand that was restraining him from doing anything to your boyfriend. Then he looked at you and looked into your eyes, it hurt him to see you this way. He sits back down but this time closer to you.

"What did he do?" He asked. You were seated cross legged, wiping your tears off with the box of tissues on your bed side table.

"We've been dating for around 6 months. He's perfect or at least I thought he was.. maybe this is what the relationship we had really was. It was all in my head and I was too fucking blind to see any of the red flags."

Leviathan was still confused, but he continued to listen. "I trusted him so so much. But later found out he's been seeing other girls behind my back. Even when he started dating."

"MC, I-" you suddenly grab him by his collar and pushed him back and forth, "I WANT HIM GONE, LEVI. THAT'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO." You yelled your lungs out. Leviathan was taken aback. He has never seen you this broken.

"DO YOU HEAR ME, LEVIATHAN? I WANT YOU TO MAKE HIM DISAPPEAR. HIM GONE. ANYTHING. I WANT HIM GONE." You kept pulling and pushing Leviathan. His heart ached seeing you like this. He grabbed onto your hands and held them, "MC, I can't do that."

"Levi, please. I can't do this anymore. Was I not good enough for him?" You let go of him as tears rolled down your face once again. "I can't anymore. I can't.. live anymore."

Leviathan pulled you into a tight hug, "don't say that you idiot. He's not good enough for you. No one is. Please don't think so negatively." He said and stroked the back of your head lightly, comforting you.

"He deserves way more than that. I'll protect you, okay? If he hurts or if anyone hurts you again, I'll make sure they get what they deserve." You both let go of each other.

"Thank you so much, Levi. Sorry for involving you with my mess." You wiped the tears off of your eyes and sniffled. "Any time. I'll always be here for you."

"Hey Levi," he raised a brow and looked at you. "What did you mean when you said.. you said that no one deserves me."

"I- uh.." he looked at you and you had this look on your face that he could never say no or lie to.

"MC, you're very special. Unlike all these normies, disgusting normies, you're.. different. You're kind, caring, very thoughtful, and just.. a great person." His face reddened even more when you didn't say anything.

"Was that too much? I'm sorry I should probably-" he was about to stand up and leave but you grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards you, kissing him on his lips.

"MC.." you too were embarrassed, "I just thought.. I would do that." You gave him a smile, trying to hide your red cheeks as well. Leviathan cupped your cheek and pulled you closer to him, kissing you.

Note: was too lazy to check for typos if there are any I am so sorry

[perriewinklenerdie]

Control, part 1 (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

 Word count: 2257

 Author’s note: I am beyond thrilled to see the reaction my work is sparking in all of you. there’s no “I wish…” today. That’s because I was working on this thing you have in front of you. it was supposed to be only a one shot, probably a short one but… my mind has gone wild. And I mean wild. It’s so long that I had to divide it into two parts. Part two coming probably tomorrow. As always, English is not my first language, my MC is Clarissa “Claire” Herondale. Also… chemistry who, @paleweasels? :D    Enjoy! <3

 Part 1

Ethan was a man who liked control more than anything else. He liked to know what was happening around him. He loved to control his life, what he was doing with it, despite other people, their opinions, plans and ideas of what he should be.

He liked to control who he spent his time with, not that he was always able to do that but when it was his decision, he stayed away from people who would exhaust him, use him or manipulate him. Or, at least, he really tried. He couldn’t avoid Harper and her manipulations for obvious reasons.

He could control himself like no other, both his body and his mind. Remained calm when others would panic, put on a mask to hide his emotions, a blank slate for anyone from the outside.

There was this one part of his life that made him throw all his control out the window. He didn’t choose to do that, it’s just the effect it has on him.

Claire.

Every time he is with her, he cannot seem to get a hold of himself, all of his resolve to act professionally just wasn’t there.

It started back when they weren’t dating. She would tease him to no end, smiles and little touches, comforting talks. It was the first time that he felt his control slip. It’s gone on for a few weeks, her teasing and him being more and more frustrated with his mind, imagining things he knows he shouldn’t be imagining.

Then, one day, he broke. They were talking in his office about the competition, Naveen and other interns when she absentmindedly bit her lip. That did it for him. He took three big steps towards her, gathered her in his arms and kissed her, hard. She was shocked but after a heartbeat he could feel her arms go around his neck, pulling him closer.

From that point on, they were seeing each other in secret. They both knew they couldn’t date publicly, no matter how much it hurt them both, he didn’t want to jeopardize her career and he didn’t want to lose her.

No one knew about them. That meant they would spend their evenings together, sometimes nights but not as often as he’d like, her living with other interns, they wanted to avoid them becoming suspicious and asking questions.

That also meant that other people didn’t know they were taken. While the only person who could cause trouble with him was Harper, her ways of persuasion with him getting on both of their nerves, Claire… that was an entirely different story.

He knew she was attractive as hell. He knew that damn well. So did she. And so did the rest of the male population.

He couldn’t really blame them. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t annoyed when other men where shamelessly flirting with her. She was his, he knew that but that didn’t make him feel that much better.

Ethan tried not to envy other people, he was happy for others when they had what they did and he was aware that he only gets as much as he gives and as much as he works for. That being said, he couldn’t help but envy other couples, who could freely express their emotions, kiss their significant other whenever they liked, hold their hands or hug them with no fear of being exposed.

It was the worst kind of torture. He lost count of the amount of times that he passed her on the hall and had to endure the sight of her being hoarded by other men. Her friend, young surgeon, he believed Bryce was his name. Then there was this paramedic, Rafael. A kind young man, but all of his good traits were overshadowed by the fact that whenever he saw him, he was standing a little too close to Claire for his liking.

After a few of those encounters he realized that the feeling he got every time he saw her with another man was jealousy. He wondered how did he not realize it sooner. Well, he never was in a real relationship with anyone so he had no reason to be jealous. Harper was a fling, no matter how long, it wasn’t anything real.

He didn’t want to tell her about his feelings, deciding that she would laugh it off, think he’s silly. His only way of letting her know that something was different after every single one of those situations was the fact that in the evening, when they were together, he would be much more affectionate, pulling her a little closer, kissing her a little harder and hugging her a little longer. She did seem to notice something but never picked up the subject.

He was supposed to go to this important dinner organized by Banner Health with Harper. She did mention that they were taking one of the other doctors with them as they spoke French and there was supposed to be someone very important there that they needed to talk to that couldn’t speak English. He didn’t ask who they were taking with them, all that he knew was that they were going to meet them there.

He arrived ten minutes earlier and went in to find Harper. She was standing on the side of the room, dressed in a black, fitted dress that had a low cut, a little too low for what he thought was appropriate. She waited for him to approach her before speaking.

“She just called me, she’ll be here in a few minutes.”

He didn’t pay any attention to the fact that apparently the third doctor was a woman. He excused himself to go and look around, find some quiet place where he could hide and not have to talk with those full of themselves people. By the time he came back there was another woman standing next to Harper. She was dressed in a long, red dress, the material smooth and tight to the body, her hair pinned up elegantly. It slipped his mind that he did recognize her hair and her posture from somewhere. He approached them both and was about to say his greetings when the mysterious woman turned towards him, his eyes widened, pupils dilated, his heart skipping a beat.

“Hi, dr. Ramsey! Thanks for having me here!” Claire smiled at him, looking him straight in the eye. He dragged his gaze along her body, starting at the bottom where her shoes were visible, black high heels, then up her dress, a slit in the skirt reaching the middle of her thigh, then up her middle section, the material hugging her in all the right places making his mind go still. The dress had a low cut but it was tasteful and elegant without being provocative. He recognized the necklace she wore. It was a gift from him, a gold chain with a ruby red pendant. Her hair framing her face, almost no makeup on her face, a big smile and shiny eyes being all she needed to be the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

“We’re very happy you could be here tonight, I don’t know what we would do if you couldn’t make it. Again, thank you for helping us.” Harper smiled at her, totally oblivious to the look Ethan was giving Claire. She did it again. Aware or not, she got his attention, he knew he wouldn’t be able to think about anything else besides the things he wanted to do to her when they were alone…

“I’m glad I can help. So, what exactly are we doing?” she said, her fingers playing with her necklace as though teasing him. She knew damn well what she was doing to him and based on the look on her face, she wasn’t going to stop.

Harper explained a little of what exactly she wanted her to do and went to grab their person of interest. When she was out of earshot, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, his voice low and breathless.

“I know what you’re doing. Do you think it’s funny? You want her to find out about us?” he said, a chill running down her spine.

“Don’t know… do you?” she smirked.

“I have to say though, you look ravishing. How long have you known you’d be here with us?” his eyes taking in her body again.

“A few days… do you like the dress? I bought it especially with you in my mind.” she whispered the last part into his ear, then leaned back, biting her lip and looking him dead in the eye. He swore he died and went to heaven. Her back touched the wall, he placed his arm next to her, leaning closer to her, flirting quietly with one another.

Harper came back a few minutes later, a middle-aged man in tow. They both stepped away from each other. Ethan reached out to greet the man, they shook hands. Then the man turned towards Claire and kissed her hand, greeting her politely. Claire just smiled. And then she began to talk.

Her French was perfect, accent amazing and smooth, her posture relaxed, clearly being comfortable. She turned towards Harper after a few minutes.

“I’m going to be translating. If you don’t mind, tell me what is it you want me to say and we’ll begin.” She smiled softly at her, her eyes straying towards Ethan for a second to gauge his reaction. She saw amazement on his face.

The talk was calm and quiet, both sides communicating with help from the young woman. After a few minutes they reached agreement. The older man took Claire’s hands in his and patted them, a warm smile on his face as he told her something he didn’t understand, what frustrated him more was the fact that he looked briefly at Harper, then at Ethan and back at Claire, smiling. She laughed, blushing, and responded with a sparkle in her eyes.

They bid him goodbye and made their way towards their table. Claire was sitting between Harper and Ethan.

“I cannot express enough how proud and thankful I am for your help. Without you the deal would have never happened. You saved us today.” Harper said, turning towards her, smiling widely.

“No problem, really. I’m glad I got to help you, I’m sure the deal will go great. Plus, it was nice to get to speak in French, I don’t really get to do that that often.” She smiled equally happy. While Harper turned around to talk to some other people on the other side of the table, she turned to Ethan. He had an amused look in his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. His fingers touched her hand discreetly.

“I didn’t know you can speak French.”

“As a matter of fact, dr. Ramsey, I speak four languages.” She shot him a look, taking in his reaction. His eyebrows shot up, his mouth open wide. She touched his chin, closing his mouth softly.

“How… what…” he stuttered.

“Well, there is English, obviously. French, but you already know that. Then there is Spanish, I took it while being in high school. I also speak a little of German, I’m not tremendously good at it but I would be able to do a conversation much like the one today if I had to.”

“You amaze me every day more and more.” His voice low, leaning towards her. He caught himself before someone saw them. They got served their food and after dinner they all stood up to talk to some important people.

One of those people was Justin Brooke, a young executive, responsible for public relations in the company. He greeted Harper and Ethan with a shake of a hand. Then he moved to look at Claire. A smirk bloomed on his face, he took her hand and kissed it slowly.

“Charmed to meet you miss…?”

“Herondale.” Claire replied, not sure what she should do.

“Miss Herondale. It’s a pleasure to have you here, I hope you are enjoying yourself.” He took a step towards her.

Ethan felt it again. Jealousy lit up inside of him, his palms clenched, his knuckles white from the force. He hated not being able to do anything, the man wasn’t doing anything inappropriate to someone from the outside. How was he supposed to know that Claire was in a relationship, that she was already his, that she already had someone to hold her at night. He wished he could pull her close to him, put his hand on her waist and kiss her in front of Harper and the other man, making them both realize that they were out of their reach.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t do that. He was sentenced to the torture of watching the guy flirting with his woman. For hours on end he had to look at him putting his hand on her arm, talking with her and standing a little too close.

Finally he’s had enough. He excused himself and went towards the abandoned corridor in the far corner of the building he found earlier tonight. He fell against the wall, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes to calm himself. After a few minutes he heard steps coming towards him. He groaned quietly. He wanted to be alone for a moment but it looked like that was not happening. He raised his head to see who was disrupting his peace. He saw a beautiful figure of Claire.

His Claire.

Tag list: @paleweasels, @hopelessromantic1352, @valiantlychaoticbarbarian, @radlovedreamer, @lilyofchoices, @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @palestazure, @galaxiia-quean, @cordoniaqueensworld, @punk-kaomoji.

If you want me to tag you, let me know! And if I forgot to tag anyone, sorry and do let me know so I can correct that! :)

[impracticaldemon]

Chaos Theory:  Sasuke Ch.3

by impracticaldemon

Author's Note: We have finally reached some serious fluffiness and more than a hint of steam here in the third installment of Ikesen Sasuke & Chieko (my own MC). Maybe we need Chapter 4; or at least an Epilogue ^^.  

Words:  ~ 10,000 Total | ~ 3300 per chapter Full Story is also on:  FFN |  AO3     Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2

gif by imp | image copyright Cybird

Chapter 3:  Chaos Theory

A full minute passed in silence. Sasuke seemed to be listening intently, and I had no idea what to say.

"He's gone," he said at last. "I value Yukimura's friendship very highly, of course, but he is not aware that I am here as a result of a temporal phenomenon. Since it may be difficult for me to contact you in the near future, I thought we should talk about our upcoming trip to Kyoto to await the wormhole." Sasuke looked at me directly for the first time since we'd entered the woods. "I apologize for dragging you away from Azuchi without a proper explanation. However, as Yukimura indicated, the town is dangerous for me at present. Let's go inside—I expect that you'd like to sit down after all that."

The inside of the hut was very tidy. Sasuke glanced around and nodded to himself.

"Yukimura doesn't fully appreciate that we need to leave this place looking a lot more unkempt. It needs to appear to be untenanted."

"Sasuke. Talk. Now." I found a couple of blankets to kneel on, and waited pointedly for him to join me.

He delayed only long enough to fetch me a cup of water—which I needed—and then sat down across from me. The silence was deafening. Finally, Sasuke began.

"Lord Mitsuhide saw me traverse the roof leading away from your room."

I'd expected something like that, and gestured for him to continue. Then a thought struck me. "How do you know?"

"Because he shot at me. From a window not too far from your room." Sasuke's face and voice were as calm as ever.

"Shot at you! Are you hurt? Did he hit you?"

"Lord Mitsuhide is known for his outstanding skill with a rifle."

"So that's a yes. Why didn't I hear the shot? No, never mind—I was pretty out of it, and it doesn't matter. I'm so sorry, Sasuke! Where were you hit? Does it still hurt?"

Sasuke was looking at me strangely, and I took a deep breath in order to calm down.

"Chieko… While I appreciate your concern, it was just a scratch. It's healing—"

"It happened because you took a foolish chance bringing me medicine—for a cold—when it was too close to sunrise! And then you stayed too long because I—" My voice tailed off, as I recalled what had happened.

Sasuke was staring off to side again, the telltale red on his cheekbones visible in the sunlight filtering in through the slatted screen covering the one window. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Guilt was replaying possible unhappy scenarios in my head.

"We were going to have to move soon anyway," he said at last. "Don't you see? There was already a problem."

"How so?" I demanded. Sasuke had never seemed to have any trouble sneaking into my room in the past. He'd always brushed off the possibility of being caught. Being shot at had never crossed my mind.

"Lord Mitsuhide uses a flintlock rifle, correct? His own particular weapon, but it still needs powder, shot, tamping, and a flame. Also, does he really carry a rifle with him all the time? He's a daimyo allied with Lord Nobunaga—surely a samurai of his stature carries at least one sword?"

I was still upset over the whole Mitsuhide-shooting-Sasuke scenario, but Sasuke's calm voice was getting through to me. His point wasn't particularly reassuring, however.

"Actually, Mitsuhide does carry his rifle with him a lot of the time. Not for especially formal affairs, of course. But… you think Mitsuhide was lying in wait for you?"

"More or less," replied Sasuke, a little evasively. "He's been trying to catch me for some time, but until recently he was preoccupied with finding the monk Kennyo. Plus, I kept him focussed on my activities in town. I think he recently determined that I was in the castle from time to time, but he hadn't quite figured out how."

Sasuke stopped there, but I could see what he was trying to leave out.

"But then you arrived late, and the sky was already too light for safety. Somebody saw you and alerted Mitsuhide. Sasuke, that was reckless! You knew that Mitsuhide was looking for you! What were you thinking?!"

"I was—" Sasuke stopped. I wasn't sure why, until I followed the direction of his eyes and discovered that I'd leaned forward and wound both of my hands around one of his.

"Oh! Sorry!" I tried to lift my hands, but Sasuke's free hand came down to keep them in place. He wasn't quite as cool as his appearance would suggest, either. The fingers that wrapped around mine weren't perfectly steady. On the other hand, I also felt strength and warmth and… an emotion that was deeper and more complicated than simple liking.

"Don't be sorry—for this or for the fact I ran into a little trouble with Lord Mitsuhide. I was worried about you. I had one or two less than ideal experiences with sixteenth century medicine, when I first arrived, and"—he smiled at me again, and my stomach did that strangely happy falling-off-a-building swoop—"I didn't have Tokugawa Ieyasu acting as my personal pharmacist. Besides, it was entirely my own fault that I was late. Today as well."

"Well I am sorry—you got hurt while trying to help me, and I didn't even know." I felt tears prickle at my eyes, the reaction once again disproportionate to the situation.

Sasuke's face regained its usual stoic-serious expression, and his eyes dropped back to our linked hands. Whether from nerves, or some other impetus, he began to run his thumb along the soft underside of one of my wrists. I heard my breath hitch in surprise, as sensation flooded outward from my wrist, and warmth pooled in my lower abdomen. I think my toes curled a little. When did we go from acquaintances, to friends, to this? What is this? A familiar, but muted voice laughed softly, calling me out for pretending ignorance. Yellow eyes gleamed for a moment in my mind, reflecting Mitsuhide's amusement from this morning, and then vanished.

The stroking motion stopped, and I barely repressed a protest.

"Um, Chieko? Is this… acceptable? I hope you'll believe me that I did not intend to take any advantage when you were sick and influenced by opium. I know I should have said something sooner. Lord Shingen told me to express my true feelings as soon as possible—although I didn't mention your name, of course. He did his best to teach me. Unfortunately, I seem to find emotions more difficult to understand than both ninja training and the theory of high-energy time-space anomalies. Plus, you were surrounded by the most powerful men of the time—other than Lord Kenshin and Lord Shingen, which was likely just as well—and it didn't seem realistic to even consider…" He stopped. "Sorry. That was neither as logical nor as cogent as I had intended. Or at all. In fact, I'm not sure if I've actually said what I wanted to say."

I was still processing the fact that we'd crossed an invisible line at some point that would be difficult to uncross—not that I wanted to. My brain was only working at one-quarter speed.

"Sa-suke?" I shook my head as if to dislodge cobwebs, then did my best to meet his—warm brown with a hint of amber—eyes. "It's definitely acceptable. But—did you really talk to Shingen? I only met him once, but he managed four pick-up lines in four sentences. And—I still don't know exactly what happened today, or a week ago." I tried to smile encouragingly, but it got away from me and turned into another goofy grin.

Sasuke went back to caressing my soft inner wrist; he seemed unaware of the effect it was having on me, but it was hard to say—he was trained to be observant. I felt my knees weakening.

"If I may clarify," he said, "did you agree to go out with me just now? Did I even ask you out?"

"Not in so many words. But the intent was clear."

"I see. I will have to work on my communication skills." He gently extricated his hands from mine, and carefully pulled me against his chest, wrapping both arms around me once I was settled. I could hear his heart hammering in his chest, which was a relief—I didn't want to be the only to feel like that. A moment later, a very chaste kiss was pressed into my carefully braided hair. My resolution to find out more about the situation with Mitsuhide—and more about whatever had delayed Sasuke both today and last week—faded abruptly. I'd find out in due course.

"I've occasionally wondered," commented Sasuke, whose mildly calloused fingers were now tracing a slow line down my neck and then along the soft skin above my collarbone, "whether glasses are an impediment to kissing." He added hurriedly, "Not that I mean to pressure you into anything, of course. We have only been going out for a few minutes, after all. From those few relationships that I have observed among my colleagues, it does not appear to be a significant problem."

"Um…. No. ...Sasuke?"

"Yes, Chieko?"

"You could just ask, you know."

Sasuke's fingers stopped, which was disappointing, but then he used them to push my chin up a little.

"Are you sure about this?"

"When in the Sengoku…"

"They do tend to live in the present."

"I'm not saying that I don't take this—us—seriously. I don't think I'll ever be interested in casual kissing—or whatever."

"Speaking for myself," Sasuke's fingers returned to my collarbone and trailed up toward my mouth, "I don't think I'm capable of a non-serious relationship."

"Mmmm." How could a sober astrophysicist-turned-ninja affect me like this? His fingers caressed my neck almost possessively, and I could feel the sparks travel the length of each limb. He hesitated when his index finger reached my mouth, and somehow I couldn't resist reaching out with my tongue to touch it.

"Ah!" Sasuke jolted upright, face suffused with red. Fortunately, his outstanding reflexes saved us from anything either too embarrassing, or too painful—his hand cushioning my head prevented a hard knock against the packed-earth-floor.

"Sorry!" "Sorry, Chieko!"

Our apologies rang in unison. We both tried for rueful smiles, which quickly faded in a rush of much warmer feelings. Without further hesitation, Sasuke bent his head and kissed my lips, pulling my body closer against his and burying his hand even further into my hair. We tasted each other's lips, and then tongues, barely pausing to breathe, entirely unaware of the floor beneath us. I felt like all my nerves were on fire.

The glasses weren't much in the way, I suppose, but they disappeared early on. He really did have beautiful eyes. When Sasuke eventually dragged his mouth from mine, it was only to press kisses against my eyelids, and then down my neck, his body draped partially across mine, chest to chest. I wanted to contribute more, loving the sensation of his lips and teeth on my neck and then, with more intensity, along my collarbone—it barely registered that he must have pushed both kimono and under-kimono collars aside in order to bare my shoulder so far. I found his free hand clenched into the folds of my kimono, perhaps to keep it from wandering too far. I loosened its grip, and lifted it to my lips, kissing and then suckling each of the four fingers in turn. Sasuke was trembling by the time I was done, but he persisted in putting one more love bite on the lower edge of my right collarbone. My own body was shaking with need, and all I could do was cry out softly and then recapture his mouth when he was done.

The heat between us was almost unendurable, but we were too much creatures of the twenty-first century to give full rein to passionate inclination. Somehow, at some point, the feverish, panting kisses became more restrained, and then Sasuke dropped his head to my shoulder, muttering in desire-roughened tones: "We need to stop. It's too soon. It wouldn't be right. I'm so—"

I sealed his mouth with a last, gentle kiss, although it took everything I had not do something to test his restraint. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Well…" Sasuke pulled himself into a sitting position, and helped me to do the same. At first he couldn't take his eyes off me, and I could only imagine how I looked, with my collar pushed aside and my skin bruised by his teeth. Then he quickly averted his eyes, as though another second more would push him past his limits. There was actually very little showing compared to the previous week's wardrobe issue, but despite remaining fully-clothed, we'd managed to imprint at least the feel of our aroused bodies on each other. That had only made it more difficult to stop, but we had—a decision I questioned for the next several days.

We tidied ourselves in silence, although it wasn't nearly as awkward as I'd dreaded. Sasuke even showed a surprising familiarity with the niceties of female fashion as I strove to assemble and place the bits and pieces that had fallen from my obi and hair. In an effort to shove all the unsatisfied passion aside so that we could face each other with reasonable equanimity, he explained his expertise:

"It's nothing, really. I was allowed to train with some of Lord Shingen's special shinobi, many of whom are women. I found it to be both informative and insightful."

I watched as he placed a pretty obi pin with careful precision, and pouted—for effect, of course.

"Is there anything that you aren't good at, Sasuke?"

He paused, decided that I was probably joking, and smiled a little.

"Quite a few things. But if I have to name one, then… I can't sew very well. Well enough to get by, because that's expected when you're out in the field, but I have no talent and very little practice."

"Of course you pick the one thing I can do well."

"True."

"Okay. I saw you wince when you sat up just now. Where were you shot?"

"On the roof of Azuchi Castle," Sasuke deadpanned.

"Haha. Now spill."

"I have a five centimeter wound diagonally across my left lower ribs. I had it stitched—after I verified that the needle and thread were as sterile as possible. It's uncomfortable, but healing well. Presumably, I moved in time."

I stared at him. It sounded as though Mitsuhide had been aiming to kill.

"Don't worry, I won't let it happen again. To be fair to Lord Mitsuhide, his orders were 'dead or alive', and it's a well-known fact that Kenshin's ninja suicide rather than allow capture."

My stare shifted into a glare, and Sasuke had the grace to look away uncomfortably. Then he looked back, came closer, and resolutely put his arms around me, inclining his head so that he could rest it against mine.

"I can't believe you said yes. Thank you. I don't show it well, but I'm insanely happy right now."

"I can't believe you can kiss like that," I told him honestly. Sasuke started to turn red all over again.

"I could have chosen a nicer place to kiss you for the first time. And… things are going to be a little complicated from now until we leave."

"You're trying to tell me that I won't be able to see you anytime soon."

"I'm trying to remind myself. I wish I hadn't let Lord Mitsuhide see me. I should tell you, though—I'm not sure he was trying very hard."

"But!"

"I know. And maybe I'm wrong. But he tagged me across my left side, and at the time, I had a one-handed grip with my right. Also, I was already halfway down."

"You climbed down the entire second half of the castle roof with a gunshot wound?!"

"The options weren't attractive."

I sighed.

"You know, it's crazy to say this after—well everything that's happened—but I'm actually going to miss this place."

"So will I. But it's safer where we live, even apart from the small matter of continuous war."

"I know. Food, medicine, medical treatment, drinking water, everything."

"Anime."

"Anime doesn't make it safer!"

"Can we agree that anything is a healthier outlet for aggression than war?"

"Yes." I leaned into his shoulder, avoiding the left side. "Sasuke…"

"I'll be here until tomorrow morning. I really do need to look after some loose ends."

"Wait—that sounded like 'see you later, Chieko,' but you still haven't told me what started all this—what made you late on the day you brought the medicine."

"…I blame Ray Bradbury."

"Who?"

"An American science fiction author best known for writing Farenheit 451 about living in a society that burns books. Paper burns at 451 degrees Farenheit—let's see, that's about—"

"Sasuke! Focus!"

I'd never seen Sasuke look so uncomfortable, which after the past week was saying something.

"Bradbury also wrote a story called A Sound of Thunder. About time travel, actually. The story talked about how the smallest change can be drastically far-reaching. He mentioned a—a butterfly." Sasuke said the last word very quietly.

"Oh"—a bunch of formerly trendy pop science news somehow found its way to the front of my brain—"that's the 'butterfly effect', right? It's something to do with chaos theory, if I'm remembering properly."

"Correct. The butterfly effect became synonymous with chaos theory. One beat of those little, fluttery wings, and poof! There goes another chunk of a South Pacific island, in the wake of some massive hurricane."

"And this has to do with—"

"Can I tell you next time?"

"Sasuke." I looked up into his caring—maybe even loving?—brown eyes, and relented. "Alright. Please—just take care of yourself. I—you mean a lot to me. I'm glad I finally got to tell you—and show you."

"You mean a lot to me as well, Chieko. You've always come first for me, here in the Sengoku, no matter what."

"I guess I have to see myself home now?"

"Yes—but I'll go as far as the edge of the trees."

Hand-in-hand, and companionably quiet, we walked until we could see raw sunshine beyond the next set of trees. Sasuke stopped, wrapped me in a tight hug, and kissed me as though we'd been together for a year, not an hour.

"Remember—"

"I'll be careful," my ninja promised me. "No matter what, you come first."

"I'll be ready when you send word about the wormhole. But I'll look for you before that."

"You never know."

"Nin nin."

There was a whisper of cloth as he released me, and then he was gone. He was an excellent ninja. I had high hopes that we might discover other skills of his together.

[END]

A/Note: Notes, reviews, and comments are always welcome. This story will be published on Tumblr, FFN, and AO3.

Thank you for reading! \(^u^)

Tags:  @iamaikotachibana (with thanks for sharing my love of Sasuke) @shell-senji @eliz1369 @acrispyapple (thank you) @nalufever (thank you for reading the earlier version) @flower-dragon @hidetheremote @llama-in-socks @yum-chan @cherryb0mb79 (you started this madness you know!) @canadiangaap

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from tags (or for certain characters) (PM or Ask or Note to this post)

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Wait so Rakepick gets to cause all this pain trauma and suffering to MC and their friends, and if the player decides to do something to get revenge on her other than just turning her into the authorities, they get punished for it? How’s that fair? Not trying to be rude, I guess it could be interesting, but I doubt your suggestion would serve as karmic punishment anyway, I mean I’ve seen a lot people who still don’t have any sympathy or remorse for insane Rakepick so I doubt a difference in models for the two routes would really do anything much to change or double down on that. There’s nothing “awesome” about guilt tripping players especially over something like this anyway.

Oh no, you're not wrong at all. I actually got a number of anons who questioned my use of the phrase "karmic punishment" and y'know, I gotta tell you - the second I pressed "post" on that one, it occurred to me that some folks might. I didn't really mean anything by it, if that helps. Not trying to say that players who chose to trap Rakepick are wrong for doing so. Like, if nothing else, it's a video game. But even in-universe...well, A) The Sunken Vault is already comparable to Azkaban in the first place, and B) Even if it is supposed to be a million times worse, MC has more than earned that blow. Rakepick opened herself up to getting struck below the belt when she used the Cruciatus Curse on Merula. When she used the Killing Curse on Rowan. She set that precedent for this war with MC. She has only herself to blame.

That said...I'm a bleeding heart, I'm a softie with absolutely no stomach. My instincts will always turn toward mercy - I'm basically Frisk from Undertale's pacifist route. Don't have it in me to do anything violent or really hurt anyone, which isn't necessarily my patting myself on the back, either. There are situations where it's acceptable, even necessary, to harm or kill another person. But I sure couldn't do it, and if I had, such a deed would still haunt me. If I were MC, I could never trap Rakepick in the Vault, even despite everything. And if I did, I would probably regret doing so, especially once I saw the state that Vault! Rakepick is in, that pitiful, desperate, broken woman. Yeah, I'd wilt. Hurting people, even those who deserve it, just has always felt repulsive to me.

So to make a long story short, that "karmic punishment" line is...basically just me projecting. I'm sure I'm not the only person to feel this way, even if I'd be in the minority. But in general...as much as it might sound paradoxical...I actually think trapping Rakepick in the Vault is a better twist narratively. (Or at least it was, until Year 7 basically vetoed it.) It echoes what she did to Jacob, it's a full circle. It makes her rivalry with MC feel more two-sided, now that they've also scored a significant blow.

[zig-a-zow]

As told by Aiden [Chapter 4: Watching and waiting]

Summary: Aiden Zhou had everything figured out. He was a Junior at high school, he would graduate in two years, attend a prestigious school such as Juilliard and become the best musician he could be. Of course, despite being practically a prodigy at what he loved, he had a lot to learn yet, especially the most important lesson: there was more to life than what he once thought.

Pairings: Aiden x MC (Grace Ashton)

Word count: 2826

Notes: Hello there! What is this, you might be asking yourself? Well, nothing other than what the title says: High School Story as told by Aiden. The events from the book, but from his perspective, plus extra scenes/fanon lore. There are significant changes in this story, though. For once, I have two MCs, best friends Grace and Callie. However, one of them will be significantly more prominent due to being Aiden’s love interest. Also, each chapter has its own song, cause how could I write about Aiden without music included? Click the lyrics to listen.

Taglist: @mlmseangayle @ravenclawpokegirl25 @poofboopmew @apluschoices 

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2  - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 (It’s right here!) - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 (Coming soon!)

Oh, you capture my attention

Carefully listening

Don’t wanna miss a thing

Keeping my eyes on you

He had been staring at his phone’s screen until its light stopped illuminating his face, and he could see his reflection on the glass.

The screen came to life again with a single tap of his finger, as he immediately deleted the message he had written but not sent.

Was he really going to text Grace? Right now, while laying in bed, unable to sleep?

It probably wasn’t a good idea, he told himself. They had been talking all night, and even if she seemed pretty… interested in him, maybe it was a little too much to talk to her now.

Plus, she was probably already asleep, like a normal person at 5:00am.

Aiden sighed deeply, leaving his phone on his bedside table and pulling his blankets to cover his whole body in a futile attempt to rest at least a few hours.

Next morning, he had a raging headache and wished he could stay in bed all day. Or maybe all week. All month…?

Begrudgingly he got out of bed, and left his house hoping for a little bit of quietness at school.

Which he didn’t find.

“Aiden! AIDEN, HOLY SH–!”

“Myra, language” he simply said, waiting until his friend reached their usual table at the cafeteria.

“You’re not gonna BELIEVE what happened today at homeroom!” she exclaimed as she sat across from him, a big grin of joy adorning her face. “Come on, ask me what happened!”

He sighed.

“What happened, Myra?”

“Okay, so Grace and Callie are sitting in the front with Caleb, right? And suddendly Brian comes in and starts acting like a jerk, so Caleb is fed up and they both get up, like, they’re gonna fight!” she started narrating, her hands gesturing as she spoke. “And Brian goes and punches Caleb when he’s distracted! And Grace is all like ‘Oh, no you didn’t!’, so she goes and…!”

Her hand turned into a fist, and she punched the air with a smile.

“BAM! Right in the face! And he almost falls on his back! It was hi-lar-i-ous!”

Aiden listened in silence, an expression of astonishment displaying on his face. He tried to imagine Grace, petite and dainty Grace, punching the school’s quarterback so hard that she made him stumble. It was surprisingly easy to picture.

“So Callie is all like ’Oooh nooo, don’t fight!’, and grabs Grace before Brian can hit back, and Vice Principal Isa came in right then! And she took them ALL to the Principal’s office! HOW COOL IS THAT?!”

“Pretty cool, if you ask me” they both turned to Ezra when they heard his voice, just as he took a seat beside Myra, grinning. “Yep, everyone’s talking about it. I think Morgan recorded it all, I hope she uploads it to MyTube soon.”

“Oooh, man! Why didn’t I think of recording it…?!”

“Wait a minute… are you two celebrating this?”

At his words, Myra and Ezra exchanged glances briefly before turning to look at him again, stunned expressions on their faces.

“Well, she did punch the biggest jerk at Berry High, so…”

“… of course we’re celebrating, you dummy! Here’s a better question, why aren’t you?!”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I don’t condone violence in any way, shape or form?” he replied to Myra’s rhetorical question with one of his own. “What Grace did was wrong, no matter how justified you might think it was. She lowered herself to his level, it’s as simple as that.”

Ezra smirked at that.

“Okay, you tell her that.”

“What…?”

“Hey guys” Grace’s voice startled him as she took a seat right beside him. She gave him a quizzical look before turning to the others, grimacing at their smiling faces. “Don’t tell me…”

“Aaah! Grace, you were so awesome!” Myra almost bounced out of her seat with excitement, her voice a squeal. “Remind me not to mess with you!”

“Oh, and Aiden has something to tell you” Ezra smirked mischievously, nodding his way as if to give him the word. “What was that you were saying right now…?”

“I, uh…”

Aiden stammered for a few seconds, suddenly feeling all his confidence and resolution go down the metaphorical drain. To his surprise, Grace barely turned to him with a tired expression.

“I heard him. What I did was wrong, I lowered myself to that idiot’s level. He’s right” she mumbled, casting her gaze toward the table in shame. She let out a long sigh of resignation. “Don’t get me wrong, he deserved it. And I’m not gonna lie, it felt good. But guess who was almost suspended and is now stuck on Homecoming committee?”

She half-heartedly pointed to herself with her thumbs.

“This girl.”

A moment of silence reigned between them, and Aiden took a good look at the girl beside him. She looked somehow smaller than before, and genuinely remorseful. He raised his hand a few centimeters, tempted to place it on her shoulder, before Ezra spoke again.

“Sorry, Grace. We didn’t mean to make you feel bad or anything” he said with a soft tone, and Myra nodded silently by his side, a rare serious expression on her face. “It’s just, what you did today? It was great, even if it got you in trouble. You wanna know why? ‘Cause that guy always thought he was untouchable, he could do whatever he wanted, but guess what? He can’t, 'cause people like you are out there putting jerks like him in their places. So chin up, queen. You did good.”

Grace looked up at that, her dark eyes shinning slightly as a tiny smile started to appear on her face. Myra rounded the table to sit by her side and give her a quick hug, smiling encouragingly.

“That’s more like it! We’re not saying you should go around punching every person that looks at you the wrong way… though honestly, that would be pretty cool” she started, before catching herself, shaking her head quickly. “But seriously… giving the Brians of the world a reason to count their teeth? Yes, please!”

Just then, the bell rang. Several people started abandoning the cafeteria, and that included them as well.

“Thanks for the pep talk, guys” said Grace with a little smile, shrugging slightly. “I guess this could be worse…”

Aiden remained silent. He had heard lots of stories about how Maria Flores, his classmate and the person in charge of Homecoming committee, was like as a leader. They all agreed in the fact that she could be utterly terrifying.

But somehow he had a feeling that Grace would be able to handle it just fine. At least he hoped so.

A growing feeling of discomfort didn’t leave him alone for the rest of the day.

Aiden couldn’t help but feel guilty about the way he had spoken before. He dreaded the idea that his words could’ve hurt Grace’s feelings in any way. So he needed to talk to her so he could… apologize? He wasn’t really sure of what to do, but he had to do something.

He didn’t see Grace again until it was time for him to finally leave the school. He had just walked out of the band room after practice, and was approaching his locker when he could hear her cheerful voice calling his name.

“Oh, hey! Look, it’s Aiden!”

When he turned around, he could see her approaching quickly with a grin and a cupholder full of milkshakes, Maria following her at a moderate pace and clearly not as excited.

“Grace, we can’t stay for too long…”

“I know, I know! Just wanted to say hi!” she replied with a brief laugh, turning to him again. “Hi!”

“Hey… what are you doing here?” he mumbled as his eyes fell on the cupholder significantly.

“Homecoming committee… we had to go and get something to eat 'cause we all got hungry halfway through.”

Aiden was about to say something when he could hear Maria huffing at a prudent distance from them, probably unaware of him noticing her gesture of impatience. He sighed.

“It seems like you’re busy… but I need to talk to you” he admitted as he finally reached his locker, placing a few books inside. “It’s… moderately important.”

“Oooh, you got me at 'moderately’!” Grace had a playful smile on her face, so he wasn’t sure if she was kidding or not. “Tell you what, I’ll hit you up as soon as I’m able, okay?”

“Grace…”

“I’m coming!”

Grace winked before she walked away and joined Maria, who clearly was growing impatient by the minute. She turned around once with a smile.

“Talk to you later!”

“Yes, talk to you later!” repeated Maria as they both started to walk away, and seemingly realized what she had said a few second later. “Why did I say that? I’m not going to talk to him later!”

Grace laughed loudly as they reached a corner, and Aiden was barely able to hear them anymore.

“Don’t laugh, it’s not funny…!”

“But it’s super cute…!”

Aiden stopped for a second before closing his locker, his gaze directed toward the corner where the pair of girls had disappeared from view. He frowned slightly. Had he heard that right?

Had Grace called Maria cute?

'No. She thought what she said was cute. In a funny way’ he told himself as he shrugged, hanging his backpack on his shoulder. 'But what if it was… in a flirty way?’

Well, if that was the case, it was okay. Because Grace had the right to flirt with whoever she wanted, and he had no say in that matter, obviously.

He knew all of that, and still, he wasn’t able to erase that frown from his features.

He had patiently waited for Grace to call, but she didn’t.

At first he thought nothing of it, and distracted himself with simple tasks like composing a short piece for violin and making small talk with his parents while having dinner.

But as the night progressed, he started to feel… something.

At first, he was worried. Was she okay? Maybe something bad had happened. He contemplated calling her himself to check, but what if she was simply busy and his call was unwelcome?

Then he was somewhat disappointed. Maybe she just had forgotten, which was completely plausible.

Or maybe she was talking with Maria instead.

Aiden huffed as he finished drying his longish hair with a towel after a shower, as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He frowned, though he wasn’t sure why.

He made his way back to his room and let himself fall on his bed with a soft thud, staring at the ceiling for a few moments.

He could feel his tired eyes give in after minute or two, and drifted to sleep.

Aiden wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but his phone rang on his bedside table and startled him. He grabbed it, half asleep, and let out a sleepy groan.

“You have to be kidding me…”

It seemed like Grace had decided that calling him almost at midnight was a good idea.

He felt tempted to ignore her call and resume his much needed sleeping… but he couldn’t do that. Well, he actually could, if it were Ezra or even Myra.

But seeing Grace’s name and face in his screen was somehow enough for him accept the call.

“Hello…?”

“Hey! Did I wake you up?!”

“Mhm.”

“Ohmygod, I’m so sorry!” Grace’s voice sounded a bit hushed, as if she were trying to keep quiet and failing. “I didn’t mean to, but I just now found a moment to myself.”

Aiden yawned as he sat down on his bed, rubbing the sleep out of his tired eyes in an attempt to fully wake up.

“Why?” he muttered, his voice a bit hoarse from sleeping. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah… I mean… well, Emma did something really dumb and brave today and needed some cheering up, so I had the brilliant idea of staying up with her and Callie for a while” Grace explained with a sigh, sounding tired as well. “I didn’t expect Emma to stay for so long. Her mom came to get her like twenty minutes ago.”

“And Callie?”

“She’s sleeping on the floor. I don’t know how she does it, to be honest.”

Aiden nodded slowly before remembering she couldn’t see him at the moment. He sighed deeply.

“Sorry, I can hang up if you…”

“No, I mean… I’m already awake” he mumbled, and it was only half a lie. “I might as well say what I wanted to say. It’s about what happened today.”

“A lot happened today” she pointed out, matter-of-factly. “Are you talking about me punching Brian or…?”

“Yes. Partially. Mostly about what I said later on, at lunch.”

Grace remained silent, and all he could hear for a few seconds was her calm breathing. He knew she was waiting for him to explain further, but couldn’t help finding the soft sounds oddly relaxing.

He shook his head, feeling himself blush.

“I meant to apologize, Grace. I was out of line.”

“For stating your opinion?”

“For the way I worded it, I suppose” Aiden looked up at the ceiling yet again, suddenly feeling like he didn’t really know what to say. “I felt… guilty afterwards. I did not mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Aw, Aiden… you didn’t. Really” she assured immediately, and he could almost hear the smile on her face as she spoke. “You were right. And it’s okay.”

“Maybe so, but…”

“If it makes you feel better… then I accept your unnecessary apology.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the tone of her voice and the emphasis of her words. Her soft laughter made him smile.

“Thank you, Grace.”

“Don’t mention it. I guess I should let you sleep now” she muttered then, and he could hear the mischief in her voice. “Even though I don’t really want to.”

Aiden let himself slide in his bed until he was again resting on his back, and repressed a yawn. He was really tired, but the conversation was getting more interesting by the minute.

“Is that so?” he could also hear a rare glimpse of confidence as he spoke, and assumed it was only because she couldn’t see his blushing face. “May I know why?”

“I dunno. I really like the sound of your voice. It’s… deep but also soft? Like a constant whisper… if that makes any sense.”

Suddenly all that confidence he was building up once again drained faster than it had arrived. He swallowed hard, feeling his face burn red with embarrassment.

“Oh. Um… thank you? I think… uh…”

Grace giggled at that.

“You’re blushing.”

“N-No, I’m not.”

“You’re totally blushing. That’s cute.”

’Cute’.

Suddenly Aiden felt the need to hang up without any warning, and just go back to sleep, possibly with a frown.

But that would be too immature for him, so he sighed.

“I really should go back to sleep now” he said then, and he noticed that his voice sounded more serious now.

She noticed as well.

“Uh… sure. Of course. Have a good night, Aiden.”

And there it was again, that sting of guilt he hated so much. He sighed, his tone softening slightly.

“Good night, Grace.”

They both hung up at the same time, and as he was setting his phone aside, Aiden came to have an epiphany of sorts.

No matter how hard he was trying to deny it, it was very clear now.

He was jealous.

And he hated it.

Oh, you capture my attention

I’m anticipating

I’m watching and waiting

For you to make your move

Got me on my toes  

Chapter 4 is up!

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Remember that I can add you to my taglist if you want me to, so you don’t miss any update!

As always, feedback is appreciated and encouraged! Thanks for reading!

[tommykaine]

Till Death Do Us Part ramblings

Now that I’ve been tinkering with the game for a bit (two days I have no shame) I feel that I can ramble a bit about it

Warnings for assorted spoilers under the cut and also mentions of things of distasteful nature due to the game in question

First things first I’m gonna get this out of the way because I know it’s just unescapable: whether this is “another BTD”, and just the general comparison that is bound to happen between the two BTD games and TDDUP.

My answer to that is no, it’s very much not “BTD 3 but with a different name”.

Yes, the “genre” is of the same nature, and the way the game functions is similar (but it’s a visual novel pretty much, all visual novels have multiple choices and different story outcomes at the end depending on previous choices). However, there are significant differences, enough to make me come to the conclusion that this is only superficially related to the first games.

Firstly, TDDUP is a lot more story-driven. You still have several choices, but there is a lot more reading involved than in the BTD games. Besides the amount of text, however, the main difference is with the MC:

In BTD, the MC was more or less a blank state. Yes, there was a hint of pre existing characterization (in BTD 1 we know they are a drinker and have trouble socializing) and some that would come up depending on the choices (in one route it comes up that the BTD 2 MC likes to paint, for example), but for the most part, you could imagine whatever backstory and it would fit.

In TDDUP, you still have room for your own headcanons and some degree of customization (name and gender - note that the gender option influences more than just pronouns/titles. If you want to headcanon the MC as a pre-op trans character you might want to pick the “they” option), but there is a whole pre-existing set-up that is different in each story.

So basically in BTD it was more like the MC was a self-insert/your own OC in a story, whereas in TDDUP it’s more like you are playing a pre-existing character.

Same with the relationships - in BTD, you’re just getting to know the guys, and even with the more “romantic” outcomes there is no pre-set relationship. In TDDUP, each pairing has a more specific setting. Either you’ve recently escaped a relationship with an obsessive partner who just can’t let you go, or you’re the main asshole in what ends up being a mutually destructive relationship, or you’re in a loving marriage that is suddenly shattered by a dangerous secret. The same is true in the scenarios with Aria and Ellen, albeit a bit less so in Ellen case as she knows about you but you barely do.

Another major difference is that in BTD, your “goal” was to survive (even if that was not the real goal for most of the players let’s be real ;) ). Most of the endings involved the MC being killed for failing, with a few harder to get ones where you get to survive (albeit how “good” of an ending you’d get was quite arguable). In TDDUP however, there isn’t really a “goal” towards getting any specific ending. In one of the routes it’s not possible to be killed in the first place so all endings are survival endings, in another there are a few death endings but they’re not necessarily the most likely endings you’re gonna get. So the “goal” is not really to survive, but to advance the story (or for a “final goal”, to unlock all the endings and get the bonus content, if you’re a completionist).

Finally, there is as far as I can tell no connection between the BTD characters and the TDDUP characters. Whereas in BTD 2, you had some characters being connected to and/or mentioning BTD 1 characters, so there was an explicit connection between the stories. In fact, TDDUP might not even take place in the same universe as the BTD games, as evidenced by the fact that there are no supernatural elements in it (even Strade, who was the closest to a “regular human” you’d get in the BTD universe aside from the MCs, had a supernatural creature as a pet).

There are some other differences (the obvious one being that this is @electricpuke’s fully own creation of course) but I think that these are the main ones that bring me to consider TDDUP as a completely different creation than the two BTD titles, rather than a spin off or a sequel in all but name.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m gonna talk about some of my first impressions. Please note that this is all very subjective and mostly based on personal taste!

I’m also using pronouns based on which ones I picked in each route, as those are kind of my own “headcanon” for the situations, so it’s not gonna be gender neutral in all of them for that reason.

Also, this is where the most spoilery part starts, so be warned for that!

My first reaction was that I really loved the first endings I got for both Chris and Jack. They are also my two favourites out of the four characters, followed by Aria and Marcus. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t get into Ellen (no pun intended). Her storyline just didn’t click with me for some reason.

.

I think my absolute favourite storyline and pair out of the three might be the one with Jack (unfortunately he hates the memes - btw the first time I arrived at the “stab me daddy” option I was unable to continue for like 5 mins cause I was just stuck there laughing at it). I’m a sucker for fictional serial killers, and as unrealistic as that’d be IRL I love the “one exception” type of dynamic with a serial killer and another character. I really liked how Jack was genuinely in love with the MC, the fact that it wasn’t just an act for him to act like the caring husband. In my first playthrough with him my character was trying to reach out to his caring side, to still accept him to some degree, but in the end Jack couldn’t kill him nor keep him - therefore, the only thing he could do was leave. It was really sad, but I liked that ending the most. I was expecting to prefer the one where MC snaps and comes to love the twisted side of Jack (for example the survival ending in BTD 1 where MC snaps and joins Sano as a fellow killer is still my favorite one out of all the endings in that game) but I actually didn’t. I didn’t dislike it, but I didn’t love it either.

I just really like that the ending where he leaves was the closest Jack could get to a genuine love for his partner, as he realizes he cannot have him like he’d want to, and that MC will never see him in the same way he did before, but he doesn’t want to kill him to save himself from the consequences, so the only thing he can do is leave.

.

The first ending I got with Chris (by the way I hadn’t understood from the warnings that the temperament referred to how MC acted, so I went in thinking “I kind of want my character to be a dick to him” and it turned out that was exactly the case, lol) was the one where he gets his revenge, then he just leaves. It felt like the best culmination of their dynamic, honestly. It just was doomed to not end well, and in the end it doesn’t - not because Chris kills MC or tells him off and says they both need help, but he just has had enough, and that’s it. There’s no closure, no lesson to learn, no attempt to salvage what’s left. MC destroyed what they had built together and was left with nothing, and no one to blame for that but himself - if he even could have the self-awareness to do that.

I also really like the ending where he decides to leave but explains you why, and you repent for your actions but too late, which is probably the closest thing to an actual good ending you can get in the entire game with any character. Arguably the one where you stay together and agree to work on your issues is the “actual good ending” but I’m honestly too jaded to believe it. In my opinion it’s just not going to work out, either MC is going to slip back into his old habits and Chris will either tolerate it or break it off, or if things go a bit better then they’re just gonna end up breaking up because they each bring out the worst in the other. It’s also why it’s not one of my favourites, even if I do like it. My third favourite is the one where Chris turns himself in, which is also the saddest in my opinion. MC doesn’t have the self awareness nor the care to realize their wrong-doings in years (unless someone else forces them to), yet Chris cannot cope with what he has done in maybe a couple days, he’d rather face the consequences of that and be done with it. You could argue there is a big disproportion between what Chris and MC did, but also consider that especially in Aria’s route it comes up that MC sexually assaults Chris, and we do not know whether MC has ever been physically abusive as well, plus MC has been abusing Chris for years whereas Chris snaps after years of mistreatment from pretty much everyone (not saying he’s right to be violent, in an IRL situation no one would be innocent, but in the contest of the story it’s hard to argue that Chris is the one to blame).

.

I don’t love any of Aria’s endings to the same extent, but I do like her route nonetheless. I think my favourite ending is the one where you are trapped in her basement until you die and she wants both herself and Chris to forget about you. It’s just so tragic and twisted, plus it low-key references Poe so that’s a plus (I loved the Poe reference in BTD 2 too - sorry for comparing the games again but I’m just a sucker for this kind of thing, plus The Pit and The Pendulum is my favorite of Poe’s tales). I like how her confrontation of the MC comes both from a loving place but also from a selfish one - that’s why you don’t get any “good” endings in her route, not even a sad one. She never actually wants MC to do things right, she just wants her gone so that she can no longer hurt her brother, and she wants her to pay for what she has done.

I kind of would have liked to have a survival ending in which she keeps MC for herself but I definitely understand why that’s not an option. Probably wouldn’t have suited the storyline if there was.

Still, if there is ever a TDDUP 2 or another game involving murder husbandos/waifus, I’d love it if we got a femdom route with that option, JS ;P

.

I liked Marcus’s route, but just not as much as the other ones. It’s the first one I tried, so if I didn’t like it at all I might not have been so inclined to play the others, but I think it just was overshadowed by how much I liked Jack’s and Chris’s routes. So it’s not like I can find any specific fault to it, I just loved the other ones too much, lol. I definitely liked John’s character too (he’s the one true Cinnamon Roll) and his relationship to the MC. Which works very well to make all of the outcomes for MC all the more tragic.

I like that there are ONLY survival endings to his route. MC doesn’t get to escape their fate, not even by dying. They *are* going to stay with Marcus whether they like it or not. The closest they can get to a “good” ending is by getting mindbroken and accepting the situation, which is arguably the “worst” ending you can possibly get as in all of the other ones MC does at least retain their determination.

.

As I’ve mentione before, I’m not a great fan of Hellen. I think the ending I liked the most is the one where she lets MC go because she is now obsessed with both Jack and his wife. I don’t foresee a good future for MC there XDOverall, I just wasn’t as invested. I wonder if maybe if I had played her route before Jack I would have liked it more, as by that point I was so enamoured by the Jack/MC dynamic, and maybe I just saw her as getting in the way of that? No idea. I ended up using guides to get most of her endings to see if my opinion of her changed, but it didn’t make much of a difference, aside from the aforementioned survival ending.

That’s just me though, I’ve seen other posts from people who really liked her! I’m glad she’s there for those who do, I’m just not going to be one of her fans XD sorry.

.

Overall, I really liked the game, might play around with it more (especially if I draw or write something with the characters), it definitely was an experience that I’d like to repeat and a great early Christmas surprise as I only found out about it the other day XD

I’ll definitely be looking forward to other games from EP, whether to continue from where this left off, or to see something new entirely. 

[swearronchanel]

Am I making this a thing too often? Oh well, I HAVE THOUGHTS IM SORRY

Series 6 is finally here & the first episode was pretty intense so I’m watching it again & I guess just posting my thoughts that no one actually asked for 

- COLOR! Or COLOUR, either way new intro 

- Ok I actually really like this, time are changing #LetsGetIt1962 

- Shelagh and Angela omg, Tim shaving! Cute Turner Morning but now that I’ve seen this once, this could’ve been a chance to show Shelagh having morning sickness 

 - Sister MJ dancing is the cutest thing

 - welp here comes Sister Ursula ready to ruin everything. If she wants to “gyrate” let her wtf 

- Patsy fixing Delia’s hair is cute but let’s be real Patsy’s needs the fixing - Ugh again Sister U, go away

 - welcome home fam, it’s about to get real

 - I miss my bby Trixie but I’m not going to dwell on it because I know she’ll be back - like the minimal food isn’t even the worst of it, just get ready. *** ALSO, Sister Ursula is lowkey petty with that line “don’t sit down yet please, the mother house will be calling soon” She’s knows what’s about to go down and is enjoying it. 

 - Sister Julienne’s voice cracking, she looks so sad. My heart. Why would she be demoted?! I still don’t get it. 

 - * Awkward clapping *

 - So did Patrick not notice Shelagh was constantly sick and carrying around those rennies? 

 - “Biscuits are for fainters”, which is funny because she tells Mickey later on to go with her and find the biscuit tin. 

 - No Patrick we’re not having a raffle lol 

- “We’re taking a gamble is you ask me” Shelagh’s accent sounds so cute in an serious tone haha 

- Sister MJ’s little angry moment with the duster, I feel. 

- Can we see sister MJ with Angela please? - Why does Mickey need a patch for astigmatism? My brother has it in one eye and always just wore regular glasses. I feel the glasses struggle though, I love my frames but I hate wearing them. Okay off track whoops - 

 - I knew the husband(Lester) wasn’t to be trusted from the get. - - WHERE DID SHE TAKE THE DAMN TV? 

- aw Tom. 

 - That’s all lol. I don’t know why this ring story isn’t that appealing to me? kinda boring 

 - PATSY IN JEANS YES, HERE FOR THE NEW WARDROBES 

 - Also all the cocktails, I love it. Barbara was some “practice” haha. Patsy’s toast was cute  

 - That random guy telling Phyllis “give us all a thrill” and she cringed. That’s me  

- Lol @ Barbara’s Zsa Zsa Gabor reference but she just died so RIP - - I wanna knock Lester tf out 

- This is period drama indeed but sadly, this is not an issue of the past. - 

 - Everyone feels bad for Sister J 

 - “No I can’t prescribe, because I’m only 15!” 😂😂 I’m dead. - I wish he would get more screentime haha. I’m almost hoping he’ll feel weird about the new baby so he can have some kind of interesting storyline 

- Sister W’s face telling Tim “comb your hair”, why does she make the funniest faces - “Cape Town Tummy” lol if that’s what you wanna call it 

 - Thank the climate appropriate bri-nylon for Baby Turner - Can Patrick please make a joke about it? Like Fred can squeeze his wife’s ass, let Patrick at least have a good line 

 - “Is it both ends?” wtf sister W😂 why would you ask?

 - Shelagh’s so polite “the smallest room haha" 

 - IM LAUGHING BUT CRINGING AT SISTER WINIFRED’S FACE I LOVE IT - 

- Lol here’s freco Fred 

 - Why does it even matter if Barbara has a ring to show off Violet, we didn’t see yours lol - 

 - Oh no he’s taking Mickey right 

 - Shit yes he is, WHYY - this kid is so precious omg 

 - Why would he tell is son this 

 - THIS STRESSES ME OUT UGH I KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN

 - Coño this man pisses me off 

 - Mickey 😪 

- Damn it Peter why do you always have bad news - 

 - "Television kills the conversation” no you kill the conversation 

 - PHYLLIS’S REACTION IS GOLD

 - what are Patsy and Delia doing? 

 - YES LESTER YOU’RE A DISGUSTING COWARD, I WISH I COULD PERSONALLY HURT YOU 

 - my heart hurts but I’m also furious 

- lol babs with pottery is symbolism of me handling university

 - Why was this relevant though, that could’ve been another Shelagh scene 

- Yes Trudy with the knife. So strong. I’m here for her 

 - HOW DARE SISTER U QUESTION SISTER MC’S FAITH 

 - YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER 

- Trudy really walked her way over like that’s incredible, she just was hit so hard. 

 - YES SISTER JULIENNE 

 - I can’t wait till she storms out again bc that was empowering, forget that vow of obedience for a second 

 - I don’t even care the Sister U is nice to Mickey, it’s too late for redemption I know what you say later to Dr Turner and it cancels out  

- MUCAS EXTRACTOR 

 - Shelagh’s best at that  

 - Why was there no scene showing Mickey at the Turners !!? That would’ve been precious 

 - Phyllis 💔 I freaking love her. Especially her with Trudy at the end 

- “You contradicted my authority last night” YES TF SHE DID IM PROUD 

- YES SHE LEFT, NONNATUS IS STILL YOURS SISTER J 

 - SOMEONE GIF THAT JACKET PART  

 - Yes Trudy. She played this so well 

- I wish I cared more about Barbara and Tom

 - They’re cute but idk I just don’t care enough. The ring part at the end is cute because who cares about convention I’m here for that.  

 - Oh no this is the part right 

-  shoot yea it is. Sister Mary Cynthia 😪 

 - PATRICK SHOULDVE PUNCHED HIM 

- sister J not forcing her way in, I’m glad 

- Sister MJ 💔 my freaking heart is shattering 

 - Give Bryony an award for this 

 - Such a heartbreaking, accurate yet beautifully performed depiction of mental illness 

 - THE GROUP HUG, THIS IS WHERE THE TEARS STARTED  

 - AYE COÑO SISTER J AND SHELAGH 

- THIS IS WHERE I LOST IT THE FIRST TIME, RIGHT AFTER “IM SO AFRAID” - I’m going to insert a picture because I’m serious I was sobbing 

 - Shelagh’s skirt is so pretty 

- I’m here for her outfit, lets get it 1962 

- Okay let me press play and cry again  

 - Give Laura an award for everything - HER FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, HER ACTING, SHE’S SO AMAZING 

 - Ah damn I’m crying again 

- Sister J “I never stopped praying” omg💔 

- I’m so glad she told her first. 

- Why is Trudy’s mom a bitch? Wtf care about your daughter and grand kids? 

- SNARKY PHYLLIS

 - what’s this bs. 

- YOU DONT BLAME A VICTIM 

 - I HATE HER MOM 

- PHYLLIS BACK HER UP - 

 - Patrick is so empathetic and understanding because he legit was on the other side 

- “That means you can be healed" 

- YES YOU CAN BE HEALED 💕 

- If Patsy is in the next episode they should’ve just brought her problem with her dad for the next episode? Since this episode does seem jammed packed but it’s all good

 - PHYLLIS AGGRESSIVELY MAKING A COCKTAIL IS ME 

 - except I’m a poor university student so it’s no cocktail 

- Phyllis knows something’s up looking at Pats acting weird w/ Delia 

  - Patrick suggesting Northfield. That’s character growth 

 - GET SISTER U OUT OF HERE 

 - PHYLLIS HANGING UP THE PHONE TO SET PETER STRAIGHT REAL QUICK 

- Patsy and Delia having a cute moment. I think everyone wants a significant other like Delia? Like Patsy always shuts her out when something happens but Delia doesn’t leave

 - Does Patsy’s dad have Lou Gehrig’s disease or what’s it really called - oh ALS? 

- Here come the rest of the feels. Phyllis is amazing, Trudy is amazing. I just love this freaking show. Phyllis never judges and truly helps and I just need her to give me a hug and tell me it’ll be alright - I do like this part. Good for you Babs. Defy convention, it’s 1962. 

 - So much more diversity in the community centre I love it 💕 

- Can we get a Latino/Hispanic family story on here please Heidi

 - ANGELA IS SO CUTE AH 

- THEY’RE DRAWING YES 

- I’m so glad for Trudy 

 - THE PARALLEL 

 - "Patrick you gave me a note once..” *internally screaming* 

- I forgot Shelagh can draw 

 - “PLEASE WILL YOU BE MY DAD” AW MY HEARTTTT 

- but honestly though Patrick should’ve been freaking out with more excitement like it’s a legit miracle 

- MY BBYS ARE HAVING A BABY 

 - Doesn’t matter that was perfect for me, I love parallels it’s so cool 

 - PHYLLIS WAVING BYE AWW And Vanessa Redgrave’s outro And the end. Wow what an episode, ready for next week 

[blurredsun-blog]

There’s so much back and forth about V and what happened with Rika to the point where it’s just eating at me. So excuse my rant below the cut, but this is just how I personally see it right now. Let it be known that this is solely my opinion/take on V. You have every right to disagree if that’s what you believe, but as someone who is currently writing for him please respect that this is just my interpretation out of many.

I think people really miss out on what V’s been through or when they do they’re thinking to hard about it or just drawing it from one place. So let me say this, everyone handles things differently depending on what they’ve been through. It’s stated that V’s parents didn’t really seem to be there for him, or neglected him is another way to put it. What does that mean? His interpretation of love is different from someone that comes from a family that’s closer together. Take account of his personality as well that he’s always been kinda secretive and probably just the type to rather suffer in silence than involve others in his issues when he deems it unnecessary. Then toss in the domestic abuse and in those cases the victim on the receiving end will go through major changes in the way that they do things. Put all of this together and it makes him into who he became.

Now onto my next point in this, V isn’t being manipulative or trying to force Rika to do things. Of course he has made mistakes that could’ve been prevented as he’s only human, but it wasn’t like he condoned every little thing that was happening around him. In a sense yes he was very blinded by love and his views were morphed towards the experiences that he’s been through but that didn’t mean that common sense up and left him. Some of the things happening he was just flat out against. So this leads towards the question of why he didn’t do anything and what about Rika’s therapy?

Think about it this way. Being blinded by love, holding onto that image of the person you feel in love with and then it being completely shattered by that very same person. Rika was said to be mentally ill way before meeting V and that there was a great deal of change after her dog died. Even animal losses are hard especially if you were so close, so to watch her crumble before his eyes wouldn’t be easy. So he got her treatment, or at least tried to until she wanted to stop. Well why’d he allow that? Because feeling like your loved one is suffering more instead of getting better is even harder to swallow especially when all you want is that persons happiness. So combine just wanting to be really loving and supporting towards your significant other and then feeling like what you’re doing is putting them through even more hell and then you get someone that probably feels really guilty because they think they’re failing them. It’s hard to see loved ones go through things like this and some people are able to handle it better than others, and V probably wasn’t one of those people. He felt that maybe if he gave her enough love that maybe that would be the solution to stop any doubts she may have without realizing that maybe he’s going overboard because (as stated above) his version of love is skewed due to his experiences making him feel like maybe his love is all she needs so he gives her to much.

Next is why he didn’t say anything and why he covered it up as her just being completely gone. Think about it this way. You’re watching your loved one deteriorate before your very eyes but you’re one of the very few people that know this. Many people have visions of who Rika is and V wants to keep it that way. Not only that, but this brings back up domestic abuse. Those that go through it have different experiences so this could be kinda inaccurate for him, but I think that V didn’t say anything out of the need to protect and keep happiness among everyone. He was always wanting to carry the burden on his shoulders so that others didn’t have to deal with the pain, and not to mention with him being abused those situations are just kinda hard to speak out about as they feel that doing so could bring on various consequences to themselves, and can bring on the fear that those they care about could get hurt especially if the one doing the abusing (for whatever reason) has brought them up. So along with that fear and that drive to protect that would probably push the reason as to why he’s so quiet about things. This would weigh heavily on him, but depending on whatever’s happening it could really make him feel like he deserves all of this pain even if he doesn’t just because of the way things turned out.

The way I see it V wasn’t trying to lead anyone on. That wasn’t his intentions at all as all he wanted to do was what he thought was best for everyone. Was it the right thing to do to make those kinds of assumptions? Probably not, but it seems like it turned into an obligation to prove himself to Rika that he was still in love with her and to make sure that those he cared for were as safe as he could make them. This is in no way me condoning some of the bad decisions that he’s made but just me trying to hopefully get people to see that there were causes and effects to what happened. It wasn’t just this 2D reasoning that some try to make it seem. It’s much more complex and revolves around the things that he himself has experienced.

I know that this can still be taken with a grain of salt and everyone will have different opinions, but I really don’t want people to ignore the things that he’s been through only to brush it off as him being “manipulative” or “pushing” these events when that really wasn’t what was happening. As I said the meaning of it all goes much deeper and also the way the story gets told to us doesn’t necessarily come from V’s headspace. So we’re seeing it through the choices of MC and the rest of those we interact with. There’s two sides to every story so depending on where you look at it is what you’re gonna see, and looking beyond what is known from what we were handed and just knowledge of the subjects in general this is what I see for V.