#maybe this is an autism thing or just a me thing but I can’t stand the thought of Luffy shippers enjoying my content in a way I didnt intend

[purplepenntapus]

Someone reblogged my straw hats sexuality headcanons post and I don’t know how I knew but I just felt the vibes and went to their blog and OF COURSE they’re a Luffy shipper.

I don’t know how much clearer I can be than staying directly on that art that Luffy is aroace and doesn’t like or care about romance that my content isn’t FOR YOU

[bonesxbows]

Unforgettable (Alastor X Reader)

My Masterlist

Everyone at the hotel seems to be overlooking you, talking over you, acting as if you're not really there. Though it's not on purpose, you know they don't really mean to be ignoring you, it still hurts. Everyone except Alastor. He's the first to notice when you start to shut down and slink away. 

(WARNINGS)

Autism spectrum reader

Selective mutism behaviors

Negative self talk (slight depression/overthinking)

Mentions of addiction 

I’m having the most wonderful time in college so far! (insert upside down smiley face here) Anyway this is based on something that happened recently so it’s 100% entirely self indulgent, I’m relying on writing for comfort right now and ya’ll are along for the ride so enjoy! Also I’m sorta undiagnosed on the spectrum so this isn’t entirely accurate but it is based off of my own experiences, if any of it comes off as offensive to anyone just let me know and I’ll be more than willing to change it. Comments and likes are highly appreciated, I feel like my writing has been in a slump lately so PLEASE let me know if this is any good

Banners by @strangergraphics

You were in your room, laying on your bed with your eyes closed, hands neatly folded on your stomach, and fingers mindlessly fidgeting with themselves. Wordless jazz drifted through the air, broadcasted through an old radio; a gift from Alastor. One that you cherished, the soft noise always doing wonders to soothe your restless mind. You often wondered if that was part of his intention when he had given it to you, if he had known about your condition even back then.

There was a knock at your door, but the visitor didn’t wait for you to answer before opening it. The radio magically shut off on its own once it sensed an intruder. You peeked open an eye, seeing a blurb of blonde hair poke into your doorframe. 

“Heya! We’re meeting down in the lobby for another group exercise, it’d be super if you could join us!” Charlie told you, her attitude as bubbly as ever. She didn’t wait for you to reply before skipping off down the hallway, leaving your door open in expectation for you to follow her. You sighed, getting up and doing just that, not really having much of a choice if you were still going to stay here.

Everyone had already beaten you down there, all congregating together and conversing. Though from your standpoint it sounded more like arguing. You grimaced from the noise but carried on, trudging forward to join the crowd. Alastor sensed your presence almost immediately, whipping his head in your direction once you were close. His smile grew tenfold at the sight of you. He patted the empty space of the couch next to him, silently beckoning you over. You relaxed just a little, Alastor’s presence easing some of the tension this social gathering had brought upon you. As soon as you sat down next to him he snaked his hand around your hips, pulling you closer into his side and resting his claws on your thigh.

The conversion around the two of you continued, though it was getting harder to keep up with what was going on. 

“This is Hell, toots! Ain’t exactly a walk in the park to jus’ cut it off cold!” Angel was standing in front of Charlie, all four arms raised in defense. 

“I get that, Angel, but we can’t exactly allow this sort of behavior forever. I’m open to ideas. Suggestions? Is there a way to ease out of this sort of thing?” She rebutted. You figured they were talking about someone’s addiction, possibly Angel’s himself’s, or maybe Husk’s. Either way, you wanted to help, they were both your friends. 

“Charlie, I-” 

“Ease out? Are you kiddin’ me? Do you know how addictin’ they make this stuff? It’s on purpose, baby! Once you’re hooked it’s for life!” 

But Angel beat you to it. Your words just weren’t fast enough. But you didn’t give up, maybe they just hadn’t heard you?

“That’s true, but-”

“There’s got to be something out there, some kind of cure. Right? Maybe we just haven’t found it yet. Come on, don’t give up hope just yet!” 

Charlie interrupted you this time. She flashed Angel a hopeful smile, but ironically she had just knocked all wind out of your sails. You deflated, defeated, and crumbled in your seat. Any hope that they would listen to you fizzled behind your eyes. You curled into yourself, watching them as they continued their little argument, embarrassment and frustration clouding your mind. You wanted to help, had information that could help, but it was like you were invisible. 

Invisible to all, except Alastor. Who took extreme note of the way your face fell when you kept getting talked over. Who noticed how your always pleasant smile vanished and never came back. And how you tried to practically disappear into the side of his coat. 

Irritation pulled at the corners of his smile, making his eyes twitch. 

When the conversation was more or less over, tempers cooled enough that everyone was at peace again, you were quick to excuse yourself, getting up and fleeing before anyone, especially Alastor, could stop you. You ran, head hung low, not even looking where you were going, just hoping your feet would instinctively carry you back to the safety of your room. Your brain was fuddled, one thought led to another, which led to another, which snowballed into a self-loathing mess. So much of a mess you almost face-planted into the wood of your door. Luckily you stopped in time, huffing a sigh and kicking yourself for not paying attention, before you pushed the door open and walked inside, slamming the door behind you. You threw yourself onto your bed, not caring what went flying where, just caring enough that your embarrassed face could be covered by enough fluff and plushness to not be seen by anyone. 

That is until your radio tuned back to life again, nearly making you just out of your skin at the sudden noise. It flickered through static but eventually evened out to the jazz that had been playing earlier. The peaceful music made your heart ache. You felt stupid. 

Oh, Alastor…your Alastor. You loved how safe and comforting he made you feel, but he deserved better than to put up with your weird antics and moods. 

“Darling? Are you alright?”

As if the radio tuning had been a prelude to his arrival, he had shadow-stepped into your room not three seconds later. You sprang up at the sound of his voice, turning around to see him standing near your desk, leaning against his elbow propped up on top of your radio. You opened your mouth to reply, but yet nothing came out, the words becoming stuck like thick cotton in your throat. So you simply shook your head instead, your gaze falling down to your lap. Your heart hammered in your ears. 

Stupid. You were being stupid. Overreacting. As usual. Just talk to him. 

You didn’t notice him walking over towards you until he was near, sitting down next to you on your bed, resting his cane against a nearby wall. He placed a claw underneath your chin, guiding your face upwards to look at him. He used his thumb to gently tug at the corner of your lips, pushing it upwards into a lopsided smile. One that didn’t stay, your face falling as soon as he removed his finger. 

He sighed at the sight. Though he wasn’t upset, not with you. His smile was compassionate, caring. A rare one he only ever showed you, but worry creased his brow. “You didn’t deserve that treatment, you know. I’d kill them if I could.” 

At that, he earned a small, fleeting, smile. His bloodthirstiness was endearing at times. 

“Ah, there's my darling. Can you use your words, ma chérie?” 

You shook your head again. Your vocal chords failing you, seizing up in your throat. This selective mutism of yours wasn’t new. 

“That’s alright. How about we go up to the studio, hm? Just me and you. I’ll even let you pick out a few records to play on air. How’s that sounding?” He tilted his head towards you, smile glinting with persuasion. 

You nodded eagerly, the thought of being in a safe space alone with Alastor already easing your mind. 

He stood up enthusiastically off your bed and held out a hand for you to do the same. “Wonderful. Shall we be off then? Best get to it while the record player’s still hot!”

(Song: It Had To Be You by Isham Jones)

You were sitting cross-legged on Alastor’s desk, flipping through his collection of records, while he continued on with his broadcast. “Duke Ellington”, “Fats Waller”, “Ethel Waters”, and “Isham Jones” all shuffled through your fingers, names that you had come to recognize over the countless times you had spent up here with Alastor. You handed him the last one your fingertips touched. His grin grew at your selection as he shut off his microphone. 

“A fine choice, dear, a fine choice indeed!” He pulled the black disc out of its sleeve, slotting it into the machine and dropping the needle down onto one of its grooves. The sound of upbeat trumpets and an accompanying jazz band filled the broadcasting studio, the same song playing to any and all tuned in to Alastor’s radio station. He began to hum along, pushing his chair back and hopping up, gently pulling you off of the desk with little warning. You clutched onto him as he grabbed you, your feet dangled mid-air for a moment before you found your footing, earning a chuckle from Alastor as you kicked at nothing. 

But eventually, you found purchase on the ground again, and when you did he began to glide you along, guiding you in circles around the room, one hand in yours and the other firmly around your waist. You kept your free hand on his chest, trying to keep your feet up with his. He didn’t take you dancing often, but when he did you were always reminded of just what time period he originated from. He was a natural, humming along to the tune floating through the air as he graced across the floor himself, leading you with him as he went. When he flicked his wrist and spun you in place you felt something inside of you loosen, easing up after the earlier events of the day. 

“Alastor?” You called out his name. There was a flash of surprise across his face at first, no doubt he had become accustomed to the silence, but it quickly gave way to fondness. He pulled you closer to his chest, slowing down his movements around the room. 

“Yes, ma chérie?” Static purred in the back of his throat. 

“Thank you, for…for all of this.”

He hummed in response, placing a gentle and quick kiss on the tip of your nose. “Anything for you, my doe.”

[urauntiefaye]

I really appreciate you metioning neurodivergent readers in the daddy kink maki post. could you go more into detail with maki x autistic!reader? I find it hard in the kpop/jpop space to find people who even bring up being autistic, let alone write about it.

Maki x Autistic!Reader 🌸

WC: 1008 

TW: Talks of Autism, Autistic!Reader, Gender Neutral reader, Neurodivergent reader, Autism is a spectrum and it’s not the same for everybody so if you experience it differently than this that’s okay! Let me know if I forgot anything!

A/N: It’s never a problem! As someone who is neurodivergent I also find it hard to find anything jpop/kpop related things in regards to the neurodivergent space. Or honestly just anything to do with mental health, I personally love writing where the reader is neurodivergent or has other mental disorders like Bipolar, BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, literally ANYTHING like that because it kind of heals me a little if that makes any sense. But shout out to my bestie for helping me with this, even though a lot of my symptoms add up with Autism I have not been diagnosed with it (I have ADHD even though my doc wants to get me tested for Autism) And my bestie has been diagnosed with Autism so they helped me a lot with writing this. I hope you do enjoy this and if you see any errors hit me up! I’m always looking forward to educating myself on things like this. 

Maki is a very attentive person, he notices a lot of small things and is very considerate of others. Now I did say that Maki would be the perfect boyfriend to have for someone who is neurodivergent. But not in the sense that he knows exactly what to do right away. Mostly because that’s honestly unrealistic, even if he knows about Autism. He doesn’t know exactly what having Autism is for you since it’s a spectrum and everyone with Autism experiences it differently.

What I mean by this is that he will take the time to learn and try to understand you to the best of his abilities. Even though he doesn’t know what it’s like, he still goes out of his way to educate himself and ask his partner questions about it.  But he will struggle and might in the best of terms I can think of is “fails”(not the best word I know) in the beginning. For example: Maki is a very physically affectionate person, it’s one of his major love languages(got this from when Maki was crying because Harua didn’t like physical contact with him and he thought Harua didn’t like him at first). But sometimes his partner might get overstimulated or just in a mood where they just can’t stand physical contact at the moment. It’s not that they don’t love him, it’s just in that moment being touched literally irritates the fuck out of them or they just simply don’t want to be touched. At first he wouldn’t understand that, and would keep trying to maybe hold their hand or hug them. 

But because of the stimulation of it they may lash out because of it. If they do he wouldn’t get it and might get insecure about it, but once they explain to him why his negative emotions would fly out the window. He would then move on from that moment and ask them if it’s okay to touch them, sometimes he still does without asking but he at least makes an effort to make sure their not getting overstimulated by it. Another thing is loud noises or just too much noise. It’s no secret that Maki is a very loud individual, especially when he’s with his friends and members. Now even though his partner can be loud too, and bursts of moments of talking a lot. It’s usually only when they’re completely comfortable. But if they start getting overstimulated and the noises are getting too much he would try to find a way to help them. Like taking them to a quieter place, or giving them his headphones to help dial the noises down. He would try to pick up on the signs for when they’re starting to get overstimulated too. He’s always attentive to his partner and will learn the signs very quickly. He also learned fast not to mess with them when they’re stimming. At first he thought they were just anxious but learned that it was a way to regulate their emotions or help the overstimulation. 

When it comes to tone he always helps his partner, like if they take something literally or just didn’t pick up on the tone of someone's voice he will essentially take time to explain it to his partner. And he doesn’t get tired of it either, because he understands that they sometimes take everything literally or have a hard time reading people's expressions and moods. Doesn’t mind that his partner is considered “blunt” either, he actually prefers it. He hates when people sugarcoat things, and acts fake. That’s why he prefers to have a partner who speaks their mind even if it does come off rude sometimes, he gets that his partner isn’t trying to be rude. 

When it comes to food he’s super understanding about it, like if they can’t eat certain foods because of the texture he won’t make them eat it. If he’s trying something new and it’s in a flavor or texture they don’t like he will tell them so they don’t eat it. 

USES TONE TAGS WHEN TEXTING OMG, the start of the relationship when it came to texting it always led to misunderstanding which led to fights. So when he found out about tone tags he was on that shit and it’s become a habit for him now that he even uses it when he’s texting other people. He actually finds this just super helpful and thinks people should use them more often.

Is a huge supporter of his partners hyperfixations too! He will sit there and watch all episodes of his partner's favorite show. And will let them go on for hours telling him about this cool thing, even if it is just info dumping about the topic. Always shows interest in it too, whenever he sees an object in correlation to their hyper fixation in the store he buys it immediately. He honestly just loves and can’t get enough of the way his partner just feels so comfortable to talk about it and how they literally just sparkle up about it too. 

When his partner goes nonverbal he does get really concerned over it, but finds a way to communicate with them in alternative ways. Gets extra protective over them when they do go nonverbal, doesn’t force them to talk and doesn’t get angry. If someone says anything to them about it he will stand up and say something. 

Stays on their schedule, he understands that they like to have things a certain way and if it’s not they get pretty upset. Which is fine! He’ll work on it with them, but still works to make sure they have a set structure. 

Gets sad when his partner feels like they have to mask who they are just because society doesn’t deem them “acceptable”. Gets frustrated because things are only designed for neurotypicals. But he feels loved, and happy when his partner doesn’t mask around them because that means that they’re comfortable enough and trust him to not feel like they have too. 

[worms-in-my-brain]

Being an ally to autistic people is more than understanding that we might not always get social cues.

It’s also respecting our perspectives as valuable and accurate.

If every time you hear about a conflict involving an autistic person your train of thought goes something like, “I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that but I’m sorry they did that!” and not, “I should probably hear their perspective before I assume that the person I’m talking to is giving me a perfectly accurate depiction of events,” then there is something wrong!!

I’m saying this because this or things like this have happened to me with MULTIPLE different friend groups and the result is never good. I always feel like I’m not respected, like they don’t value me or my emotions, I feel infantilised and like my autonomy has been disrespected. And on top of that, my friends end up assuming things about me that aren’t true! Maybe I said what I said not because I was “confused and didn’t understand” but rather because the other person was being an ass?? That option is NEVER considered when you’re autistic. And then because they assume that they also assume I’m going to react to certain things in ways I straight up won’t. Like they’ll assume I’ll get really mad when I never have in that situation before just because they think I don’t understand a situation and they think I’m categorically in the wrong and need to be “corrected” or “let down easy” or something when, in reality, what I really needed was to have a talk with my friends and actually communicate so that the misunderstanding could be cleared up.

And this applies even when autism IS the reason I understood something differently (it’s not always just didn’t understand—it can also be understood differently), that doesn’t make my autistic perspective any less valuable or real. If somebody said “meet me at 5” and meant “meet me at 5:15-30” and I got annoyed because I had to wait for them 20 mins even though I can’t stand for that long, my perspective is still a valid one. It’s not, “oh well Cyril is autistic so of course you have to talk to them like a child or else they’ll throw a fit,” it’s, “Cyril is autistic but their perspective is not a child’s perspective, it’s an autistic perspective, so they don’t deserve to be treated as a child, they deserve clear communication with appreciation of their autism and also treatment and respect as an autonomous adult with their own emotions.”

Honestly the people who treat me best are the people who see me primarily as a person and not an autistic person. Like yes you do have to keep in mind that I am autistic, but you can’t be reading every single one of my actions through the lens of autism, or you’re never going to see me as another person who you can, in fact, understand and relate to, even though you are not yourself autistic! I’m not an alien. If I can understand you, albeit not perfectly, then you can, to some extent, understand me.

[meichenxi]

career. change. help

so I am making a career change because teaching is going to make me burn out and I NEED YOUR HELP to brainstorm, fellow neurodivergents and degenerates!!!!! do you have any personal experience? any careers or jobs that work for you? (doesn't need to be a 'career' that your parents would be proud of; postie works fine!)

if you don't have any ideas, could you pass it around?

what we're working with / difficulties:

I am adhd and hyperactive. I like moving around a lot and struggle to sit still all day

I am also most likely autistic. I get HUGE masking/social hangovers that mean that when I teach for 2 hours, I need to spend another 2 hours directly afterwards in the dark with noise cancelling headphones. teaching in a school left me essentially unable to cook, clean or socialise for a year. even now teaching 1-1 means that I spend 100% of the time teaching recovering afterwards at least - so an hour recovering for an hour's teaching. this inevitably leads to burnout.

I have a lot of sensory difficulties and get easily overstimulated e.g. bright lights, sounds etc. I wear blue light cancelling glasses and use loops and/or noise cancelling headphones where applicable but yeahhhh. still doesn’t really do it

I have a problem with my ulnar nerve which means that typing for extended periods of time (even standing up, even with accommodations) is difficult. This is a cumulative thing, so it means that if I don’t type very much for one day, it’ll be easier the next day, but I still can only type for about 3 hours maximum. After a while (say 3-4 days of typing a reasonable amount), everything begins to hurt and eventually my hands seize up and I can’t use them :))) I can’t really use assistive technology enough as a stop-gap, because scrolling, clicking, holding a phone, cooking, washing up etc – all things where my elbows are a right angle all cause this problem

strengths:

I have a lot of experience teaching and tutoring. Don’t really want to continue this, but this is what my main experience so far is in – I’ve taught in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, and the UK

I have experience managing teams of teachers and training, running interviews, writing curriculums etc. basically anything teacher-related I am fairly experienced at

I can speak (obviously) english, decent mandarin chinese, decent german, and could get good at french or spanish or dutch if you gave me like. six months to reactivate it

a good degree from a good university in the uk, linguistics, first class

I have a yoga teaching qualification

physically fit and able-bodied and active – I can run, walk, climb, pull things, do whatever

the issue I’m facing is that most ‘autism friendly’ careers I am looking at all involve extensive periods of typing, which I am not really able to do. and most ‘normal’ careers all involve extensive periods of socialising, which I am not really able to do. It’s a pretty shit situation. I am very good and enjoy performance-type things like teaching drama, yoga, tour guiding and stuff – all things my adhd brain loves – but I can only do them for a very short period of time before my autistic brain needs alone time in the dark.

So anyway. What sort of things do you guys do? What works for you? Any tips or help or directions would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately it’s not a ‘how to solve the world career’, but ‘how to have a life’ type career – I am not adverse to working as a cleaner or a traffic warden or whatever. As long as I can write my book alongside (which I can’t do with ‘typing’ heavy jobs), I’ll be happy. at the moment I'm mainly just sad and frustrated at how little life i can lead even working 15 hours a week (which is all I work, and all, with this current job, that I can work)

maybe I’ll just make a youtube channel. imagine

[yourslaveandenemyandlover]

ᯓ 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡,

Yesterday I was watching Bones, S4: E17.

In that episode there’s was a moment of Arastoo giving Angela a cathartic mixtape he made for her. Two of the six songs on that cd were ‘heartbeats, and ‘fade into you’.

That scene reassured me on the idea that Bones is a custom TV show God (/the universe) made especially for me.

I can’t justify the bond I have with Bones, I just honestly love all the characters individually, and relate to every single one of them in the characteristics that make them differ from each other.

Booth is the loyalty, responsibility, and commitment I hope to find in the world. He’s the guy you can say ‘He would never do that’ and be certain about it. He’s security: stable as earth, a father, a partner, a man on what a man should be;

Brennan is a reminder that being weird and awkward can also be about being special, unique, and valuable. That you can be socially unfit, and still treasured by those who can really see you;

Angela is the perfect personification of what a confident woman should be, a woman that never learned insecurities, that feels entitled to her space, and knows how to read people without any ego;

Cam is everything an empowered woman should be, she has posture, demands respect, and presents herself as authority, without arrogance; she perceives herself we’ll enough to be comfortable with how she’s perceived by others;

Sweets is human, emphatic, loving, soft, and kind. He’s all of that, and also a brilliant young doctor. His sharp perception of people is never a weapon against people, is always an offer of improvement he keeps in his pocket;

Hodgins is a passionate conspiracy nut. Passionate. Hodgins lives his life a hundred percent in, cause he loves his job, he worships his wife, he’s devoted to his pears. He gives himself off completely to everything he committees to, his constancy is something you can rely on.

Arastoo is beautiful as an Arabic poem, he’s religion as religion should be. He presents such and honest and uncorrupted faith that made me understand faith as love.

I once saw a tiktok that claimed bones as the greatest autistic representation on TV, and I fully stand behind that.

Bones entered my life 10 years prior to my autism diagnosis, and now looking back with the lens I was given, our relationship makes so much sense.

Brennan, Hodgins, Sweets, Zach, Vincent, they’re all unintentionally beautiful representations of what autistic people really are. I don’t believe the writers intended on that but they nailed it.

Moreover, Bones is also a great tv show for autists cause of how well they work on characters development. We’re constantly working towards understanding people, and we can understand that team:

Booth’s loyalty makes sense to me;

Brennan’s inadequacy makes sense to me;

Hodgins special interests makes sense to me;

Angela’s self-assurance makes sense to me;

Camille’s humanity makes sense to me;

Sweets kindness makes sense to me;

Arastoo’s love makes sense to me.

These characters, they taught me about people, about what people should be; They presented to my autistic ass that was always trying to understand people, people I could understand, and admire, and love.

The show strikes me as one of those things that are supposed to exist, that happens cause the only possibility is they happening. It may not have a huge social significance but it’s important, for me, maybe to a couple other people, but it’s important, it should exist,

Anyways, I just wanted to share that, the way I related to something before I had the mechanisms to understand why, and how much something silly can mean.

Hope I’m making sense,

𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠, 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑦, 𝐶𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑎 ᡣ𐭩ᝰ.ᐟ

26•09•2024

[emeraldraccoon478]

in appreciation of eda the owl lady (and toh as a whole)

so I’m gonna just ramle here a little bit, it is quite late as I’m writing this and I have a migraine so I might be a little incoherent

so I have autism, one of the things this has always mentioned for me is that I assign a lot of importance to rules, like A LOT of importance to rules, and I have since as far back as I can remember. For years I’d have to leave the room when watching tv shows or movies and a character was breaking a rule because it made me so upset. years go by and slowly I’m getting better at this, (I can watch the entirety of the croods now which was a huge step) (for anyone who doesn’t know one of the themes of that movie is that sometimes to rules are broken and need to be updated) and along comes the owl house now I had heard a lot of good things about this show and I was determined to watch it, i really wanted to like it, so I kinda forced my to stay and watch it even when Luz following owlbert made me upset, because I wanted to give it a chance

and I can’t quite explain what happened that day but by the end of the first episode I had grown attached to eda, i couldn’t quite place it but something about her resonated with me

One of the biggest things in the owl house is standing up to awful leaders and disobeying unjust laws time and time again although eda is flawed and doesn’t always follow the rules she cares (and sure maybe she sometimes scams people, but that’s lying which is separate from rule breaking and doesn’t make me upset in the same way)

what eda, and the owl house as a whole, really helped me internalize is that rules and authority figures are not always right. One of the biggest moments that sticks out to me actually comes pretty late in the show from season 2b, in Thems The Breaks Kid we learn that

A lot of the things eda does are things that make sense to her (think celebrating the detention pits birthday)

When she goes to h.e.c.k although everything is school based, school is an authority that’s supposed to have their best interest in mind, it’s like undeniably bad. I don’t think Raine and Eda ever actually break any rules either (not until the very end) just have fun within them but are punished anyway. How is that fair? It’s not.

like I don’t know I’m not explaining this very well, but the owl house is single-handedly responsible for giving me the tools to defy authority figures and break rules when it comes to my own moral code. The owl house single-handedly gave me the tools to fight facism. I owe this show a lot

also I know this is mostly appreciation to Eda but I want to take a minute to talk about both Lilith and Raine for a moment

Lilith is probably the character most like me in the entire show, she values rules and structures and systems, she craves approval from authority figures, she changed a lot about herself to try and fit in. She’s an anxious overachiever who has the type of trust that can cause problems. But she’s able to grow away from that a bit, and it’s slow, and she reverts back a lot, and I appreciate that we get to see her struggle after being faced with the fact everything she believed was a lie

now Raine I feel like was more comprehensive around the system from the start, never really had a ton on trust in it. But it’s complicated, and I don’t think we ever get a chance to see the whole picture. And idk, it’s nice to see, I can’t really express my thoughts right now

but yeah, thank you to anyone who actually read this. Please talk to me about this. Sorry probably only 50 percent made sense

[ren-054]

Barely coherent Scale rambling moment—

I don’t talk about him nearly enough but ever since I made it through his route, I’ve always had a soft spot for the guy

🐉 — Uh, yknow how dogs of certain drives and temperaments can thrive in environments humans often struggle to fully understand? Like huskies being bred to be fine with laying outside while covered in snow or high energy dogs who can’t help but chase and want to run as fast as cars (in moderation obviously). Herding dogs are also a very strong example with their neuroticism and all—which may be a better comparison for Scale actually…

I feel like, to a certain extent, this can apply to people too. Some people can just do jobs others couldn’t stand for even a second

🐉 — I say this because I kinda love how seriously Scale takes his job as an assassin.

Like it’s compelling because, despite the direness of his job, he’s so passionate about the art of it that it kinda forces you to consider why he’s like that. Not to say Scale was “meant” to assassinate people, but he just happened to be put into an environment where his energy seemed to meld surprisingly well with what was encouraged from him. He’s clearly energetic and commits himself to routine without much issue

I have this theory that he entered the academy at an early age for whatever reason—either adoption by a family of assassins or by someone who works in the school, or maybe he aspired to it at a young age and went out on his own, Pokémon journey / shounen protagonist style. I like to think that, however he got there, he was raised while steeped in the culture of assassins and the expertise and honor that came with it, and everything just… clicked.

🐉 — Some may say that’s just because the environment forced him to be that way but, as someone who has been forced into vigorous routine at a young age when I wasn’t ready for it, Scale’s ability to set boundaries regarding his commissions and his confidence/healthy relationship with his skills shows that he seems fine regarding that part of his life specifically.

Most of his social quirks lie more in struggling to balance his work life and his personal life (wanting to do more “normal things”), some emotional stunting due to said work life, and regulating his energy. Not to mention he’s working independently at 19. To me, at least, these are all pretty standard things to deal with at his age.

🐉 — Because like otherwise, he’s just a normal guy? I feel like I could’ve met him in high school and been like “I don’t get you, but I’m happy for you” and he’d be running around with pins and charms dedicated to his role models all over his schoolbag and be spending his free time in the gym practicing all the martial arts moves he taught himself

Truly the autism martial arts guy who’s really into the honor and adhering to the rules but he’s still maturing/growing as a person and you just want the best for him. They took a weeb and actually had him study the blade (not exactly but almost) and I love him for that tbh

[mikailys]

MCL NewGen Ep 10 Commentary

Tbh I didn’t want to write a review or my usual commentary for this last episode because I genuinely have nothing to say. Nothing happened, I wasted about 2000 AP for the nothingness and a two-minutes scene with Jason 🙃

I wasn't keen on skipping it though 'cause I'm sure it would make my future self and my ocd implode so here we are.

It's an episode without shame or glory. As I already said, nothing happened and the little that did wasn't entirely necessary. The driving force of the plot—Thomas and his 'disappearance'—starts off strong but gets weaker as the story progresses. I thought it might pick up a bit toward the end but the excuse they gave for Thomas was honestly terrible but we'll get there later.

To sum it up, it all revolves around searching for Thomas, who hasn’t shown up at the office, is later than usual and isn’t answering his phone. So instead of calling his family as a normal person with a bit of intellect would do we waste time and APs wandering around Amoris because ofc that’s the logical thing to do in such situation. Eventually we find out he had an accident right in front of The Cosy Bear but there’s no sign of his body. After several errands it turns out that yes, he had an accident but in the meantime he managed to already get the insurance money ??? and buy himself a motorcycle ??? all within the span of about 8 hours without a care for the world.... Now, I am astonished and utterly speechless. I get the sitcom-style ending, but it didn’t make me laugh at all. If anything it pissed me off even more. I seriously can’t stand how everything always ends with everyone happily smiling and laughing about it, it is not funny istg

Jason is giving that Scar "I'm surrounded by idiots" moment, I feel him lol

Thomas is a big irresponsable, blame it on the autism certified by yours truly or not, but he's incredibly selfish and doesn't give a fuck about anyone apparently. He had the time to go and buy a new motorcycle on foot but not the time to find a phone and spare a call to Devon?? Are you okay?? That's where your responsabilities lie?? My god.

About the moment with the LI, as a Jason girlie, I’ve come to terms with how hard it is to include him in situations involving the whole main group. That said I really appreciated the two minutes he was on screen because, once again, we see that he cares and knows how to set aside his jerk tendencies when it’s necessary—even managing to actually ‘find’ Thomas color me stocked. The only downside is that he had so little presence in this episode; the police station scene with Nath and Eric was definitely longer than his whole screentime :/

On a brighter side, the next episode involves a new showdown between companies so I’m hoping to see him just as much as the other LIs and to know a bit more about Goldreamz employees' relationships maybe Spencer? Since he only appeared at the fair...

I hate to repeat myself but I have no idea where this game is headed. There’s no driving plotline or future goals established for the characters. It would be great to see Candy outside of the work environment, maybe meeting new people. Aside from her colleagues, she doesn’t know anyone and tbh she doesn’t even know them that well. It’s ridiculous that by episode 10 I still know next to nothing about Amanda unless I’m doing her route...

[kiragecko]

People often talk about autism and ADHD ‘starting in childhood’.

These conditions are DIAGNOSABLE in childhood. I don’t know what the current research is saying, but it’s pretty obvious to me that they’re present from birth.

I’ve been surrounded by kids and neurodivergent people all my life, but people who weren’t, might not have had the chance to make these observations. So here’s some things that I’ve noticed in babies (often before 6 months) who turned out to, yup, be neurodivergent:

Wants to be swaddled at all times, as tightly as the parent can. Prefers double swaddling so a hand can’t accidentally escape (ie. loves deep pressure)

Only wants to be touched when nursing. Otherwise, touch is stressful (ie. hyper stimulation)

Happily sleeps 8 hours a night from a young age with no need for parental soothing. Soothes quicker by watching a mobile than through cuddles (ie. probably a mix of stimming, impaired social awareness, and hyper stimulation?)

Zero anxiety or awareness of strangers, can be passed around the room for two hours without care (ie. impaired social skills and face-blindness)

Ignores funny faces and smiles (ie. discomfort with eye contact)

HATES touching different textures (carpets, grass, different types of flooring) (ie. hypersensitivity again)

Will not interact with anything in a new space until they’ve had 15-20 minutes to observe silently (ie. difficulty with transition)

Will not play with a toy until an adult has shown the ‘proper’ way (ie. no clue the term, maybe lack of neurotypical imagination?, but this is SO AUTISTIC)

Will only show interest in toys that are a colourful set that can be lined up/organized (ie. “repetitive play” - I hate this term so much!)

Water and mobiles are fascinating to most babies, but these guys might scream when they have to stop and won’t calm down (ie. stimming)

-

I was suspicious that my eldest was neurodivergent by 4 months - surely no normal baby was that uninterested in social interaction? I was sure by 9, when he cried any time we tried to get him to stand on the door mat to put his shoes on.

Anyways, this idea that you can ‘get autism’ seems pretty ridiculous to me. I think people are just bad at SEEING autism and ADHD before the kid becomes difficult.

-

Ps. @audreycritter do you have any others? I know some of your kids have different neurodivergencies, but I remember your experiences being very relatable.

[neenieweenie]

Quote Prompts

this is a list of real things that i have heard people say and i strongly encourage that it be used in works of fiction. i started this list in my freshman year of high school and am now a junior in college. if you have any questions about context for any of them (or you’re just curious) feel free to ask! also please tag me if you use it bc i wanna see how ppl use it

“you know what? i am gonna have some grapes.”

“lemon juice and nicolas cage”

[seriously] “you silly goose”

“winner winner, chicken… soup”

“don’t be a debby downer” “did you just say ‘debby downer’?” “i did say debby downer”

“just say ‘controversial’ and call it a day”

“I’m gonna eat her grandma”

“nothing says ‘festive’ like ibs”

“what if the sun was on fire” “the sun IS on fire” “oh”

“my mom thinks my stepdad is a drug addict” “my mom IS a drug addict” “oH-“

“what delicious nutrients in milk!”

“that’s don cheadle” “[gasp]”

“how am i supposed to criss cross applesauce in these conditions”

“oh, like you don’t fart?” “i DONT fart” *farts*

“you’re the worst person i’ve ever met” “aww, you mean that?”

“i’m a girl, not a boy, but i do have epi pens (bonus: “assigned allergic at birth?”)

“fuck— i mean fart”

“i had all four sevens you bitch”

“stuff is temporary. swag is forever.”

“the “P” in “RIP” stands for piss” “rest in piss 😔✊”

“you’ve been in the shower too long, you’re gonna ruin your skin!” “my skin is baby soft”

“my bones are made of pretzel sticks”

“maybe the real clitoris was the friends we made along the way”

“i’m gonna give you a big fat kiss if you don’t shut the fuck up”

“is it worse to be called a slut or a whore?” “well whores get paid, so… slut, probably. cause they don’t have that entrepreneurial spirit”

“tomorrow is the wedding and also the wiffle ball game”

“you’re too young to be so jaded” “i was born jaded. i came out of the WOMB jaded”

“we’ve taught her too much. now she’s pointing out our mistakes”

“andrew jackson: super mega-cunt”

“let’s not sully the lox bagel experience”

“I’m twisting your brain into yarn. I’m crocheting a sweater with your thoughts”

“it’s a part of who i am” “well maybe… change”

“critically analyze your sources! fuck you!”

“i piss like a racehorse”

“i was an athlete if you put an m at the front of it”

“what ever happened to boy bands?” “we mostly get our imports from korea now”

“that’s bird autism” “cawtism”

“i had a dream that the monarchy returned to russia”

l“you’re the most chalant person i’ve ever met”

“i know where to get a tapeworm on my own, i don’t need you to sell me one”

“gotta keep him moist like a lizard”

nothing says happy 20th birthday like dying in a covered wagon”

“yeah, after archimedes figured out the water displacement theory he moved on to jet propulsion technology”

“it may be an ants life, but it’s a beetle’s world; let me tell you about beetles real quick”

“go spaghetti, motherfucker”

“this sandwich is sexually active” (it fucks)

“there is no hope for me. like, i’m on the titanic, it’s going down and i’m one of those people who just went to bed”

“that’s what they taught me in vampire school… i mean band camp”

“would that i were an ocean dweller”

“it’s simply the madness, it can’t be helped”

[monstersinthecosmos]

Okay I don’t want this to be like an obnoxious millennial assumption because I’m positive that every generation has things like this, but the way autism and ADHD was treated for us in the 90’s and how it affects adult diagnoses is like, imo, so integral to our coming of age and the stories we tell and the way we’ve gotten to know ourselves, even the way it relates to our job market and economy and how we operate inside it, and especially the way a pandemic uncovered it for so many people and exposed the cracks and revealed that we were all just barely functioning and held together with popsicle sticks and anyway

I say that because maybe it’s the un-diagnosed 90’s child in me but I feel particularly emotional about Keith’s arc in learning that he’s part Galra, and the way even the creators said they made him sort of prickly because of his biology, and I just !! Think so much about Keith’s neurotype as a part Galra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cause something about being diagnosed later in life is like, looking back at all the other ways you tried to handle yourself, all the missteps, maybe even misdiagnoses. Like, how many times did you try to treat ANXIETY without realizing you didn’t have an anxiety disorder, you just can’t deal with your family blaring the TV from the next room? How many times were you told you were lazy, or lying, when you didn’t know what executive dysfunction is? 

Keith is such a lovely rich character because his prickliness is EARNED—we know what happened to him, we know he’s traumatized, we know he’s been treated poorly by many people in his life. We know that he grew up thinking that he’d been abandoned by one of the people who should’ve loved him the most, in the whole world. He even questions that in his vlog—he makes the connection that he has trouble with people because of his mom. 

But I just wonder like, how much of it is just his biology. Not understanding the body he’s in, being completely ignorant of one whole half of his culture. Had he ever mutated before the TBP fight? Did it take him by surprise, did it frighten him? ((* This is head canon territory LMAO there’s no way to really know—like, is he able to do this because he just spent so much time with Krolia, or does Shiro going That’s the Keith I remember mean they used to have really primal sex that turned his eyes yellow? Lol)) 

Like when we talk about even the most broad generic terms of saying someone is neurodivergent, we don't even need to put a real life label on Keith. Like he's literally not human! Of course his brain looks different! Of course he functions differently! And I wonder how much is nature v nurture -- if he knew the truth about his mom, if his dad had lived, if he'd been allowed a normal childhood, would he still have been a weird kid?

Cause like, even seeing the way Shiro is able to get through to him, we see ways that he allowed for thrill seeking, and he didn't judge Keith for stealing his car. It reminds me of like, what we know now about asking children to sit still in school, and how perhaps some children would do better with standing desks. Shiro wants him to behave and succeed, and doesn't judge him for being a car thief, and gets through to him by bringing him cliff diving. And it just feels like this clue, you know, that nothing is wrong with Keith, he's just living in a weird place where people don't get him.

It’s just really special to me, because there’s so many pieces in the sequence of events of Keith’s character arc, and I know I’ve said this a handful of times now, but I really sincerely believe it’s the only thing the show really nailed. Accepting himself during the BOM Trial -> MOMENTS later learning something very important about his biology -> spending time with Krolia -> coming back to pilot Black when he’s READY and WANTS to (unlike the first time, when he resisted) -> becoming a pragmatic strong leader by the end.

Gosh idk. 

I don’t really have anywhere to go with this, it’s just something I was thinking about today and it gets me real emotional. Like, Keith must have had these moments, re-evaluating who he’d been before he’d known, finally understanding why he was Like That, and it’s so healing to imagine him accepting his past self and forgiving it because he understands now. 

[magpigment]

oh nice!! i can’t wait til i’m able to catch up to the current campaign, i’ve only got 40 episodes left of riptide finally!

as far as the mini comic idea goes it’s basically first panel is vyncent and dakota using their powers or something, looking almost straight out of an anime with the text ‘you guys are all super powered kids-‘ and the next panel would be william sitting on a gravestone with his name, shadows covering half of him w a wisp partially illuminating the shade with his skull glowing through the same color as the wisp w the text ‘well, i’m just a dead one.’

i’ve no idea if that’s anything cuz i very much don’t know a whole lot of what happens or how exactly will got his powers but like. based on his dialogue in the first five episodes it might be accurate XD. i’ll see when i get there i suppose but yeah!

also oh! starving by car seat headrest gives me some of wills vibes lol

have you listened to prime defenders yet? i just started listening to the free episodes and i’m accidentally super obsessed and have a fantastic idea for a mini two paneled comic for william that might be something based on my vibes of him so far

yes!! I actually just finished catching up on the latest episodes yesterday!! its such a fun campaign one of my absolute favorites, I would love to hear your comic idea if youdont mind :D

[garfeildfanpage]

Aoi & Akane - how not to be a healthy relationship

I’m going to go ahead and get my preemptive bias out of the way: I do not like Aoiaoi, in any shape or form, but this isn’t about that. If you like AoiAoi, this isn’t an attack on your personal feelings on their dynamic, all relationships in tbhk are flawed in some way or another, that’s like the whole point. In the best way I can I’m going to try to dissect their relationship, and maybe give a different perspective on why they behave the way they do.

Pre-canon

Aoi and Akane’s relationship has been, and has always been, incredibly codependent. Both of them perpetuate unhealthy behavior, and ignoring one or the other completely nullifies the point of their dynamic in the first place.

Aoi is implied to have a bad home life, along with a bad social life. Outcasted by everyone including her own father, lied to, and “treated like she’s a different species”. While I have a few personal interpretations of why that is, (autism*) the main point is that no one seems to really “get” her, she has difficulty connecting with people, and difficulty understanding relationships in general. To infer that Akane deals with similar problems isn’t far fetched, but he obviously goes about this differently. Akane is respected, looked up to, and is generally treated well by everyone around him, unlike Aoi. Aoi is treated like an object, a thing without feelings, constantly having her boundaries stepped on to the point where it’s just how life is around her. People see the unfair treatment, yet no one bats an eye as she doesn’t outwardly complain about anything. (Yashiro being a main point, though blame can’t really be put on her fully since she has no reason to think that Aoi is unhappy)

Akane doesn’t fully understand Aoi, and I don’t think with his current approach, he ever will. Aoi is a mystery, but it’s not his job to solve it. He imposes himself into Aoi’s business, with good intention, but because of how closed she keeps herself, he will never be able to help. But he doesn’t believe he is the one at fault, because all he wanted was to help her, and that can’t be bad right? But she doesn’t want people to help her, and unless she can learn to accept help, there’s no way to force entry. And it upsets him, as it would for most people. “Why won’t you just let me in?!” They’re an unstoppable force and an unmovable object, and unless they learn to communicate like normal people, it will stay that way.

Canon

The Clock-Keeper arc is a huge example of a lack of communication. Akane not telling Aoi about something so substantial can be a huge trust breaker, wether or not he thinks it’s important to tell or not. So many people take Akane’s side on this and it’s really unfair, it’s not just the fact he didn’t tell her, it’s the fact that he kept lying to her face about it. Of course, Akane is allowed to keep secrets, especially when he doesn’t even want to be a Keeper in the first place, “why tell someone about something when you don’t even want to be a part of it anyway?” But in tandem to that Aoi is allowed to feel betrayed, that Akane could just keep such a large factor of his life from her is obviously an upsetting thing to know. They both have grounds for reason, but they don’t ever communicate, ever. Akane thinks he knows what’s best for Aoi, and that’s not a just thing to believe. Aoi is a hypocrite, never being open about anything to anyone yet she expects the opposite from others. They’re both unbelievably stubborn, and both refuse to change their behavior even if it would be beneficial. Akane is selfish, Aoi in selfish, they’re both selfish, and that’s the whole point.

As much as I abhor the Akane & Aoi chapters, they are fundamental in seeing how bad the state of their relationship is. They both refuse to let up on their main flaws, and with Akane is specific it is infuriating to watch. Aoi never stands by boundaries, and so Akane pushes them without seeing how gross it is. They’re both at fault, but Akane’s behavior is at its worst. Aoi’s disappearance after probably knocked a few screws back in place for him, which I think really proves another point.

Better apart

When separated, Akane’s attitude changes. Losing his weird sense of childish entitlement, and returning back to a more childlike sense of justice. Wanting to save Aoi, not have Aoi for himself. The severance acted as a slap in the face to Akane, basically telling him to get his shit together. Comparatively making his confrontation with Aoi seem like two children fighting over something stupid. He regrets his actions, and wants to make them right. This development shows that Aoi is an inhibitor to Akane’s growth, this goes both ways. But the moment they reconnect, they start to fall back into bad habits, Aoi not telling Nene about her paralyzed hand, and Akane jumping back into the “will you go out with me!” attitude. Obviously not as hard, (and it really depends on how AidaIro decide how they want them to go forward.) but unless they really put the effort into it, it’ll just go back to the way it was before, having the cycle continue.

Akane needs someone who trusts him with their personal life, someone who gives him meaning without having him be forced to dedicate his life fully to that person.

Aoi needs someone who will listen to her and ask her if she’s okay, someone who accepts her without putting her on a pedestal.

And unless they can both learn to understand what the other needs, they’ll always never be able to be with one another comfortably.

final thoughts

Moral of the story: if two mentally unwell individuals wish to date, they both have to put in the effort to change themselves for the better.

I believe that if they were to fix their underlying problems, they could definitely be happy with one another. But because they don’t seem to be doing that at the moment, the belief that their relationship is healthy is completely false. And that’s not to say they can’t be together and if you like them you’re a bad person, flawed relationships can be explored in interesting ways, that is quite literally what they already are. But to their core, they are unhealthy, and misunderstanding their relationship defeats the whole point of their characters in the first place.

Harkening back to a previous post. I personally think that Akane’s specific attachment to Aoi is a trauma-bonding behavior rather than something he just does with people he likes. I don’t believe he would act like that with anyone else, since his relationship with Aoi runs so deep they obviously have behaviors exclusive to one another. That doesn’t mean Akane is totes peaches and cream with everyone else, he obviously has other underlying problems but I don’t think he’d ever do what he does with Aoi for anyone else. They’re very attuned to one another, positively or not, certain aspects of their personality are definitely specific to one another.

(*I personally view Aoi as autistic as I believe that a lot of her character can be viewed as a non-diagnosed autistic girl who is never able to fully grasp herself let alone other people, and is thusly turned into an outcast because she’s “different”. Akane not so much, but I can see the vision)

This was long sorry if it makes no sense or there’s some grammar mistakes I’m very very tired atm

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Can you help me find a fic? It was a poly ship, with I think Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian. Possibly also Nie Huaisang? LWJ, JC, JZX (+maybe NHS) were divine beasts and WWX was another mythical beast but he hid it. I don’t think they were all romantically involved: WWX was the pivot between the others. It was abo or a fated-soulmate au. I think I might be getting two fics confused though, because I remember there is one where WWX, LWJ, JC, and JZX form some kind of soul bond and they fight through the Sunshot Campaign together and they can read each other’s thoughts and bring each other back to life, but this one is not that one! Can’t remember that one’s name either and it isn’t in my bookmarks. TT

FOUND? I’m pretty sure the one with the fourway soulbond is Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k, Platonic Soulbond, Hurt/comfort, Canon   Divergence, No golden core transfer, JC&JZX stay in Xuanwu cave, Fix-it, Temporary character death)

~*~

2. Hello! I am looking for a fic where  Wei Wuxian is a hairstylist. Rich!Lan Wangji keeps coming back even though originally he would only make an appointment with the owner. Likes his scalp massage. I can't remember if the owner is Huaisang or Wen Ning. Thank you for your help! @toopunkrockforshul

FOUND! Delivered in Silence by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Slow Burn, hairstylist!WWX, client!LWJ, Horny WangXian)

~*~

3. For fic finder: An mpreg fic: in the Gusu lectures Jin Zixuan rapes Wei Wuxian, and so Madame Yu pulls WWX out of classes and drags him back to Lotus Pier where he is confined in secret for a year to have the child. The story continues on through the canon storyline with WWX repeatedly clashing with JZX especially over his engagement to Yanli. LWJ realizes that JZX hurt WWX and stands by WWX’s side to face JZX. I think it was a very long fic.(wangxian endgame, not WWX/JZX)

FOUND! secrets for the stars to keep by UchiHime (M, 37k, WangXian, XuanXian, XuanLi, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mpreg, Canon Divergence, not a/b/o, Hurt/Comfort, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Recovery)

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4. Help me please! I am struggling to find a fic due to tumblr’s dumb search system (I know I originally found it due to this blog). The fic involves Lan Zhan slowly turning into jade and Wei Wuxian is asked to help bc he is great at breaking curses! It turns into the two of them basically doing a bucket list for Lan Zhan and it was very cute! @flamboyantly-asexual​

FOUND! A Curse of a Different Color by nickel710 (G, 35k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation, Curses, Curse Breaking, Asexual polyamory, Repressed LWJ, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drunk LWJ, Falling In Love, WWX Being an Idiot, Non-explicit vomit, just a tiny reference to it, Anxiety)

~*~

5. Hi! For the fic finder, I vaguely remember reading a summary where lwj turns into a girl and has to have an orgasm in order to get back to being a boy or something along those lines? Sorry, that's the only thing I remember about it but I need it 😭🙏🏼

FOUND! Coming Back to Yourself by acernor (E, 21k, WangXian, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Pining, Gender or Sex Swap, Vaginal Sex)

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6. Hi, I'm looking for a fic, large I believe, where a transmigrator was born as Xichen... Any idea which can be @krysaniar​

FOUND? the eve of dawn by theAbandoned_Grimoire (G,132k, LXC & LWJ, LXC & QHJ & LWJ, LQR & QHJ, NHS & NMJ, future wangxian, canon divergence, dumb LXC au, hurt/comfort, angst & feels, fluff, dysfunctional family, happy ending, implied/referenced character death, minor character death, slow burn)

~*~

7. Hello! I’m looking for a fic I read a while back. My memory is a bit vague, so take with a grain of salt. Plot: Lan Wangji is stressed (forgot if it was just stress or if it was autism related) so Wei Wuxian uses his body as a weighted blanket, just laying on top of LWJ. (I think WWX buys him an actual weighted blanket later on but LWJ prefers WWX as a weighted blanket. Also, I think they get together at end of fic, but I’m not sure.) thanks in advance for your help! It’s greatly appreciated! @dweebdaweeb

FOUND? Happy for Now by ScarlettStorm (E, 79k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Rule 63, Cisswap, There Was Only One Bed, romance author au, Adhd wwx, service top LWJ, Pining, Smut, Comedy, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, horny yearning, furtive masturbation, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Sex Toys) there was a scene like that in 'Happy for Now' by ScarlettStorm

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8. hi ! i’m looking for a fic set in post canon where i’m pretty sure wangxian we’re tg, they go on a hunt where smth puts everyone to sleep and eventually kills. but rlly the curse tricks you into showing u a horrible nightmare that u think is ur reality so u stay asleep. wei ying sees lan zhan die in front of him and he’s super angry and resentful that lan zhan would leave him, and after the funeral he ends up leaving cloud recesses and suzhui bc he can’t be there without him. eventually he is woken up and finds out it was a dream, but wei ying talks to lan zhan and is like “how did you not resent me i chose to leave you”. i cant find it anywhere !!

FOUND? more damage than a soul should see by Kika988 (M, 12k, WangXian, Heavy Angst, Whump, Post-Canon, Please see notes for specific warnings!)

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9. Hello Mods!

I have two fics I'm looking for, that I have regrettably lost amidst my 53 pages of AO3 subscriptions (yes it is a lot no I will not shrink it I have 20+ fandoms I enjoy I am an unrepentant).

A) 1st is a Golden core reveal fic which also included Wangji telling Wuxian about the marriage ribbon and the two of them serving tea to Jiang Cheng and Yanli after it.

B) 2nd is a modern AU fic where Wuxian is a Hacker? Code writer? for his main job but also is a music teacher I think while Wangji works in hospital? They have a big concert together is what I remember.

Any help finding these two gems is greatly appreciated! (^_^♪)

9A)

FOUND? 💖 Magical Marriage Ribbons Series by starandrea (Varies, 1m, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Accidental Marriage, Fluff, Happy Ending, Telepathic bond, Kink Negotiation, Family Drama, Magical Pregnancy, Dual Cultivation, Shapeshifters, Modern with Magic, Immortality, Yilling Wei Sect) doesn't fit exactly, but it might be the magical marriage ribbon series?

9B)

FOUND? Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, So much trauma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Takes a while to work through it, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

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10. I'm looking for a fic where they mention that something that sometimes stops cultivators leaving the sects and going rogue is having to pay the forge prices of their swords. IIRC it was in the context of the Lan sect helping WWX get out from the Jiangs by paying the forge price for him. Please and thank you!

FOUND! Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 64k, JL & WWX, wangxian, post-canon, protective WWX, protective JL, JC & WWX reconciliation, reluctant matchmaker JL, pre-JL/LJY) Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller mentions disciples that leave have to pay to keep their sword, but it's about Luo Qingyang and the Jins

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11. Hi! It has been a while. So there's this ff that I have read before and I cannot remember the title. So it goes like

Wei Ying was going to destroy the Yin Tiger Tally and he knows he's gonna die in process. Jin Ling's 100th day is also coming up so he insists A-Yuan to go there too with someone I cannot remember (but I think it was Song Lan) and he told A-Yuan to find Lan Zhan. I think he also wrote some letters for the people invited there to read. A-Yuan started crying I think and yelling that Gold was bad (he was refering to the Jins because they tortured them on camps before).

Pov to Wen Qing and Wen Ning. They weren't aware that Wei Ying was going to destroy the Yin Tiger. I think Wei Ying told them to buy something or collect something. So while they were out Wei Ying started to destroy the Yin Tiger. Wen Qing senses something was wrong and hurriedly went back to the Burial Mounds. Time skip Wei Ying still dies (?) Wen Qing was trying to revive him until she passes out. Time skip again Lan Zhan Jiang Yanli Jin Zixuan came to the burial mounds, Jin Zixuan got shot by an arrow and was poisoned so Jiang Yanli find Wen Qing and beg at her to save her husband. I don't remember much but at some point they saw Wei Ying's corpse.

Last time I read it, it was still incomplete. I hope you can help me with this. Thank you @hellothere9597​

FOUND? #11 i think its a deleted fic. The title is When I'm Gone by qiankun_pouch . Its fit the description that are mentioned

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12. Hi I'm looking for a fic where Wei ying is obessed with marrying a rich man, so he goes to parties with meng Yao looking for one..Meanwhile Lan Zhan his room mate is rich and hiding it. He detests those who seek money. They have chemistry. But Wei ying never wants to risk being back in poverty. And Lan Zhan he into him a lot but he doesn't want Wei ying to be with him for Money.Wen ning is also a roommate. @imgonnablogtheworldtodeath

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13. Hello!! This is a fic finder request but first I have to let you know that ur all doing gods work and that I appreciate u all sm!!

Ok so im not sure if im doing this correctly but I’m looking for this fic that I lost where lwj almost dies in nightless city saving jyl. Lxc was able to save him by binding their souls together or smth at the last minute and then he hid lwj away in qinghe where he’s basically in a comatose state. Wwx thinks lwj is dead and blames himself and iirc he turns himself in at cr and gets whipped? Also lxc 100% blames wwx for lwj’s near death and pretty much hates him. I also remember that when lwj woke up and wwx saw him he went a little crazy and wouldn’t believe he was real

Again thank you all sm for your hard work!! @kitekichenqin​

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Loss, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)

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14. Hello! I am looking for this fic I read a reaaaaally long time ago. The only thing I remember is that wwx died but not really when he was on his way to jin lings one month celebration (ik it's really vague up till here) and wen ning takes him back and then goes to the banquet and talks with the main characters there privately. Thanks in advance! @la-diabla

FOUND? End Racism in the OTW | The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)  

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15. During Gusu lectures LWJ and WWX spar and something sparks between them like dual cultivation? I think they were already in a relationship at that point, and during the spar they are giddy with the thrill of the fight and, feeling their energy circling, it gets them horny and they, pardon the crassness, jerk each other off in a hallway after they drag each other off the field. @gloriousclotpole

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 663k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)

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16. hellooooo I've been looking for this fic but I can't find it all I remember is Thant lwj goes back in the past after wwx's death (during the cloud recess study arc) and it ends withe a threesome with him wwx and younger lz. also at the end he goes back to the futur to wait for 'his' wwx can you help ????? thanks for all that you do !!!!!✨✨✨✨✨✨

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17. hii i was looking for this wangxian fic where I think they accidentally end up taking care of a-yuan? the only thing i remember from the fic is that around the end social services or cps take a-yuan away from wangxian for a day or two and then they have to go sign some papers before they can have a-yuan back. that's all i remember sorry 😭 i read it a long time ago maybe 2020/2021? I've been looking for it for ages and i can't find it, please help 🥺

FOUND? All those roads are pointing to you by jiejieaini (E, 81k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Drowning, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bunnies, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Dubious Consent, Dom/sub Undertones, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Rimming, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Marriage Proposal)

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18. Zero idea if you still do this, but Im looking for a certain fanfic which is about lwj and wwx moving together i think because he was kicked out by madam yu, because he outed himself and I remember Lan Xichen being very supportive and even going back to the house to retrieve wwx‘s belongings and ofc lwj and wwx fall in love other the time course

FOUND? Found Family by fyredancer (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Getting Together, POV Outsider, Dysfunctional Family, Coming Out, Bad Parenting, Protective Older Brothers, Protective Siblings)

FOUND? Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 42k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Good Sibling LXC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, Possible Smut?)

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19. Hello, this is an FicFinder request.

I don't remember much, but it was a rare-pairing of WRH and WWX. I'm not sure if it was a time travel fic. When bunny was 14 or something, a water deity came from the waters of Yunmeng and told him of his powers/potentials. Bunny then was take. To kunlun mountain or smth like that and found out that he controlled the void, darkness, some elements as well. He meditated and became immortal and had lived for more than 200 years in another realm. In Yunmeng, he was still a kid and went to seclusion to complete his meditation or something. He also had a wife/lover in underworld and it was a mix of Greek mythology and others as well. @tinyfoxpeach

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20. I particularly remember that it is a four part series with one fic rewritten. It's basically post burial mounds siege where wwx ascended to immortality, and lwj ascended after his 33 discipline whip punishment. Lwj's injuries were so grave that it carried to his ascension. It's not specified but lwj ends up in wwx's domain and wwx goes batshit after finding out what the lan sect did and confronted them. Mostly fluff and angst. @bananatoffeepie​

FOUND? Deity AU by crypticidentity (M, 5k, wangxian, hurt/comfort, madness, implied/Referenced character death, whipping, angst, protective WWX, BAMF WWX, deity WWX, deity LWJ) check all the tags before reading!

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[aroace-ventplace]

I don't know how to put this right. I really hate qprs, I hate how they're just pushed as "relationship for aspecs" not just in fandom but real life. I hate just the emphasis on lifelong friendships and alternative deep relationships. It drives me up a wall, this seeking out for relationships "equivelant" in depth and closeness to romantic partners without the romance or sex. Maybe this isn't me being aroace? Maybe I really am aplatonic also? But I can't stand the thought of suffering a relationship that suffocatingly close, that's how I knew I was aromantic and I feel like I'm going crazy every time I see other aros and aces lamenting and mourning never getting to have such a deep relationship. Familial relationshipd are the best, because they have a limit to their passive degredation. My cousin doesn't mind it's been 2 years since we talked she still invites me over to her house to see her and talk! Friends are already exhausting what on earth could possibly ever make someone want to deal with something even more than that! What's so appealing about it? What is it everyone even other aros see in these relationships that make them lament lacking them? I can't see anything but cons. It feels like when people get upset about a friendship ending, I'll never understand that drive. I've never felt expected to have a romance or sex life, but I've always felt expected to want an equivelant, to "not be alone" and I can't tell how much of it is subtler forms of amatonormativity and how much of it is just spectrum.... I don't even know what I'm ranting about anymore...

i definitely relate to a lot of what you’re saying. the a-spectrum is so wide that constructs that are really important to one part of the community (like qprs) can make other people (non-partnering aros like myself) feel alienated all over again. this is a bit of a messy subject to tackle, but personally, the idea of being in a qpr fills me with the same kind of revulsion i feel towards being in a more “traditional” relationship. i’m genuinely happy for the aspecs who feel comfortable in qprs—it’s just not something that’ll ever fit me, and that boundary can sometimes feel a bit isolating in general aspec spaces.

i… can’t really discuss aplatonicism/friendships without bringing up the fact that i’m autistic (as are many aspec people). to me, autism feels like being an alien that’s forced to pretend to be human. i don’t understand other people, and most of them don’t understand me, and trying to keep up with them is exhausting; it’s easier for me to just keep my distance. i do have people i consider friends, but what i define as a “friendship” looks very different from what society expects it to be. as an autistic person, most of my relationships are less… “intense,” i guess. prolonged social interaction just isn’t something i’m suited for, and that’s how my brain works, and it’s fine—just like it’s fine how i don’t experience “romance” in the societally expected way.

sorry for the rambling; if nothing else, i hope it at least helped you feel like there’s someone else out there who’s experiencing the same things as you. best of luck!!