#maybe this is an autism thing or just a me thing but I can’t stand the thought of Luffy shippers enjoying my content in a way I didnt intend

[shot-by-cupid]

I am sick again. This is really negative and super weird so feel free to not read ^_^ I’m going fucking bananas !!! If you see this post. No you fucking do not and I’m actually SO normal and there is nothing wrong with me.

I am not. À jealous person.

Okay actually I am lying I am the most jealous person you will probably ever meet. And it is so ugly btw.

I’m not sure if I even wanna post this because it feels awful to admit but like. Having a popular f/o can realllly suck. It can really suck so hard. Too many people like him and it’s driving me mad.

And this is about him btw. It’s always about him. It’s never not about him.

Like on one hand. I’m so glad that I can go anywhere and there’s a 90% chance I’ll see him at a store, merch is easy to find, he’s in so many games, he’s in movies and tv and videos and art. I see him everywhere. I take him everywhere I go. I’m so glad people are passionate about the same thing I’m passionate about.

But I also can’t stand it. Not at all. I’m so protective of my interests. He’s always been such an important part of my life, from when I was just some hopeless little girl he was all I had and he’s all I have now and he’s so important to me you can’t take him away from me. it feels like You are touching my stuff and you will NEVER understand him the way I do and I literally have no right to feel that way and I’m sorry. But he’s mine. He’s mine and I can’t help it.

I’ve just been feeling so awful recently and it’s like I can’t get away from these ugly feelings and I’m so sorry. But I’ve been so angry. I’m so angry at everyone who likes him and I can’t help it and I’m so sorry. I bite.

I do not expect anyone to get it. I’m not well I’m not healthy and there’s something wrong with me. Blame it on the misfortune of my birth (gundam quote because even when I’m depressed and losing my mind I have to be funny as fuck)

[purplepenntapus]

Someone reblogged my straw hats sexuality headcanons post and I don’t know how I knew but I just felt the vibes and went to their blog and OF COURSE they’re a Luffy shipper.

I don’t know how much clearer I can be than staying directly on that art that Luffy is aroace and doesn’t like or care about romance that my content isn’t FOR YOU

[worms-in-my-brain]

Being an ally to autistic people is more than understanding that we might not always get social cues.

It’s also respecting our perspectives as valuable and accurate.

If every time you hear about a conflict involving an autistic person your train of thought goes something like, “I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that but I’m sorry they did that!” and not, “I should probably hear their perspective before I assume that the person I’m talking to is giving me a perfectly accurate depiction of events,” then there is something wrong!!

I’m saying this because this or things like this have happened to me with MULTIPLE different friend groups and the result is never good. I always feel like I’m not respected, like they don’t value me or my emotions, I feel infantilised and like my autonomy has been disrespected. And on top of that, my friends end up assuming things about me that aren’t true! Maybe I said what I said not because I was “confused and didn’t understand” but rather because the other person was being an ass?? That option is NEVER considered when you’re autistic. And then because they assume that they also assume I’m going to react to certain things in ways I straight up won’t. Like they’ll assume I’ll get really mad when I never have in that situation before just because they think I don’t understand a situation and they think I’m categorically in the wrong and need to be “corrected” or “let down easy” or something when, in reality, what I really needed was to have a talk with my friends and actually communicate so that the misunderstanding could be cleared up.

And this applies even when autism IS the reason I understood something differently (it’s not always just didn’t understand—it can also be understood differently), that doesn’t make my autistic perspective any less valuable or real. If somebody said “meet me at 5” and meant “meet me at 5:15-30” and I got annoyed because I had to wait for them 20 mins even though I can’t stand for that long, my perspective is still a valid one. It’s not, “oh well Cyril is autistic so of course you have to talk to them like a child or else they’ll throw a fit,” it’s, “Cyril is autistic but their perspective is not a child’s perspective, it’s an autistic perspective, so they don’t deserve to be treated as a child, they deserve clear communication with appreciation of their autism and also treatment and respect as an autonomous adult with their own emotions.”

Honestly the people who treat me best are the people who see me primarily as a person and not an autistic person. Like yes you do have to keep in mind that I am autistic, but you can’t be reading every single one of my actions through the lens of autism, or you’re never going to see me as another person who you can, in fact, understand and relate to, even though you are not yourself autistic! I’m not an alien. If I can understand you, albeit not perfectly, then you can, to some extent, understand me.

[meichenxi]

career. change. help

so I am making a career change because teaching is going to make me burn out and I NEED YOUR HELP to brainstorm, fellow neurodivergents and degenerates!!!!! do you have any personal experience? any careers or jobs that work for you? (doesn't need to be a 'career' that your parents would be proud of; postie works fine!)

if you don't have any ideas, could you pass it around?

what we're working with / difficulties:

I am adhd and hyperactive. I like moving around a lot and struggle to sit still all day

I am also most likely autistic. I get HUGE masking/social hangovers that mean that when I teach for 2 hours, I need to spend another 2 hours directly afterwards in the dark with noise cancelling headphones. teaching in a school left me essentially unable to cook, clean or socialise for a year. even now teaching 1-1 means that I spend 100% of the time teaching recovering afterwards at least - so an hour recovering for an hour's teaching. this inevitably leads to burnout.

I have a lot of sensory difficulties and get easily overstimulated e.g. bright lights, sounds etc. I wear blue light cancelling glasses and use loops and/or noise cancelling headphones where applicable but yeahhhh. still doesn’t really do it

I have a problem with my ulnar nerve which means that typing for extended periods of time (even standing up, even with accommodations) is difficult. This is a cumulative thing, so it means that if I don’t type very much for one day, it’ll be easier the next day, but I still can only type for about 3 hours maximum. After a while (say 3-4 days of typing a reasonable amount), everything begins to hurt and eventually my hands seize up and I can’t use them :))) I can’t really use assistive technology enough as a stop-gap, because scrolling, clicking, holding a phone, cooking, washing up etc – all things where my elbows are a right angle all cause this problem

strengths:

I have a lot of experience teaching and tutoring. Don’t really want to continue this, but this is what my main experience so far is in – I’ve taught in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, and the UK

I have experience managing teams of teachers and training, running interviews, writing curriculums etc. basically anything teacher-related I am fairly experienced at

I can speak (obviously) english, decent mandarin chinese, decent german, and could get good at french or spanish or dutch if you gave me like. six months to reactivate it

a good degree from a good university in the uk, linguistics, first class

I have a yoga teaching qualification

physically fit and able-bodied and active – I can run, walk, climb, pull things, do whatever

the issue I’m facing is that most ‘autism friendly’ careers I am looking at all involve extensive periods of typing, which I am not really able to do. and most ‘normal’ careers all involve extensive periods of socialising, which I am not really able to do. It’s a pretty shit situation. I am very good and enjoy performance-type things like teaching drama, yoga, tour guiding and stuff – all things my adhd brain loves – but I can only do them for a very short period of time before my autistic brain needs alone time in the dark.

So anyway. What sort of things do you guys do? What works for you? Any tips or help or directions would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately it’s not a ‘how to solve the world career’, but ‘how to have a life’ type career – I am not adverse to working as a cleaner or a traffic warden or whatever. As long as I can write my book alongside (which I can’t do with ‘typing’ heavy jobs), I’ll be happy. at the moment I'm mainly just sad and frustrated at how little life i can lead even working 15 hours a week (which is all I work, and all, with this current job, that I can work)

maybe I’ll just make a youtube channel. imagine

[yourslaveandenemyandlover]

ᯓ 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡,

Yesterday I was watching Bones, S4: E17.

In that episode there’s was a moment of Arastoo giving Angela a cathartic mixtape he made for her. Two of the six songs on that cd were ‘heartbeats, and ‘fade into you’.

That scene reassured me on the idea that Bones is a custom TV show God (/the universe) made especially for me.

I can’t justify the bond I have with Bones, I just honestly love all the characters individually, and relate to every single one of them in the characteristics that make them differ from each other.

Booth is the loyalty, responsibility, and commitment I hope to find in the world. He’s the guy you can say ‘He would never do that’ and be certain about it. He’s security: stable as earth, a father, a partner, a man on what a man should be;

Brennan is a reminder that being weird and awkward can also be about being special, unique, and valuable. That you can be socially unfit, and still treasured by those who can really see you;

Angela is the perfect personification of what a confident woman should be, a woman that never learned insecurities, that feels entitled to her space, and knows how to read people without any ego;

Cam is everything an empowered woman should be, she has posture, demands respect, and presents herself as authority, without arrogance; she perceives herself we’ll enough to be comfortable with how she’s perceived by others;

Sweets is human, emphatic, loving, soft, and kind. He’s all of that, and also a brilliant young doctor. His sharp perception of people is never a weapon against people, is always an offer of improvement he keeps in his pocket;

Hodgins is a passionate conspiracy nut. Passionate. Hodgins lives his life a hundred percent in, cause he loves his job, he worships his wife, he’s devoted to his pears. He gives himself off completely to everything he committees to, his constancy is something you can rely on.

Arastoo is beautiful as an Arabic poem, he’s religion as religion should be. He presents such and honest and uncorrupted faith that made me understand faith as love.

I once saw a tiktok that claimed bones as the greatest autistic representation on TV, and I fully stand behind that.

Bones entered my life 10 years prior to my autism diagnosis, and now looking back with the lens I was given, our relationship makes so much sense.

Brennan, Hodgins, Sweets, Zach, Vincent, they’re all unintentionally beautiful representations of what autistic people really are. I don’t believe the writers intended on that but they nailed it.

Moreover, Bones is also a great tv show for autists cause of how well they work on characters development. We’re constantly working towards understanding people, and we can understand that team:

Booth’s loyalty makes sense to me;

Brennan’s inadequacy makes sense to me;

Hodgins special interests makes sense to me;

Angela’s self-assurance makes sense to me;

Camille’s humanity makes sense to me;

Sweets kindness makes sense to me;

Arastoo’s love makes sense to me.

These characters, they taught me about people, about what people should be; They presented to my autistic ass that was always trying to understand people, people I could understand, and admire, and love.

The show strikes me as one of those things that are supposed to exist, that happens cause the only possibility is they happening. It may not have a huge social significance but it’s important, for me, maybe to a couple other people, but it’s important, it should exist,

Anyways, I just wanted to share that, the way I related to something before I had the mechanisms to understand why, and how much something silly can mean.

Hope I’m making sense,

𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠, 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑦, 𝐶𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑎 ᡣ𐭩ᝰ.ᐟ

26•09•2024

[mikailys]

MCL NewGen Ep 10 Commentary

Tbh I didn’t want to write a review or my usual commentary for this last episode because I genuinely have nothing to say. Nothing happened, I wasted about 2000 AP for the nothingness and a two-minutes scene with Jason 🙃

I wasn't keen on skipping it though 'cause I'm sure it would make my future self and my ocd implode so here we are.

It's an episode without shame or glory. As I already said, nothing happened and the little that did wasn't entirely necessary. The driving force of the plot—Thomas and his 'disappearance'—starts off strong but gets weaker as the story progresses. I thought it might pick up a bit toward the end but the excuse they gave for Thomas was honestly terrible but we'll get there later.

To sum it up, it all revolves around searching for Thomas, who hasn’t shown up at the office, is later than usual and isn’t answering his phone. So instead of calling his family as a normal person with a bit of intellect would do we waste time and APs wandering around Amoris because ofc that’s the logical thing to do in such situation. Eventually we find out he had an accident right in front of The Cosy Bear but there’s no sign of his body. After several errands it turns out that yes, he had an accident but in the meantime he managed to already get the insurance money ??? and buy himself a motorcycle ??? all within the span of about 8 hours without a care for the world.... Now, I am astonished and utterly speechless. I get the sitcom-style ending, but it didn’t make me laugh at all. If anything it pissed me off even more. I seriously can’t stand how everything always ends with everyone happily smiling and laughing about it, it is not funny istg

Jason is giving that Scar "I'm surrounded by idiots" moment, I feel him lol

Thomas is a big irresponsable, blame it on the autism certified by yours truly or not, but he's incredibly selfish and doesn't give a fuck about anyone apparently. He had the time to go and buy a new motorcycle on foot but not the time to find a phone and spare a call to Devon?? Are you okay?? That's where your responsabilities lie?? My god.

About the moment with the LI, as a Jason girlie, I’ve come to terms with how hard it is to include him in situations involving the whole main group. That said I really appreciated the two minutes he was on screen because, once again, we see that he cares and knows how to set aside his jerk tendencies when it’s necessary—even managing to actually ‘find’ Thomas color me stocked. The only downside is that he had so little presence in this episode; the police station scene with Nath and Eric was definitely longer than his whole screentime :/

On a brighter side, the next episode involves a new showdown between companies so I’m hoping to see him just as much as the other LIs and to know a bit more about Goldreamz employees' relationships maybe Spencer? Since he only appeared at the fair...

I hate to repeat myself but I have no idea where this game is headed. There’s no driving plotline or future goals established for the characters. It would be great to see Candy outside of the work environment, maybe meeting new people. Aside from her colleagues, she doesn’t know anyone and tbh she doesn’t even know them that well. It’s ridiculous that by episode 10 I still know next to nothing about Amanda unless I’m doing her route...

[kiragecko]

People often talk about autism and ADHD ‘starting in childhood’.

These conditions are DIAGNOSABLE in childhood. I don’t know what the current research is saying, but it’s pretty obvious to me that they’re present from birth.

I’ve been surrounded by kids and neurodivergent people all my life, but people who weren’t, might not have had the chance to make these observations. So here’s some things that I’ve noticed in babies (often before 6 months) who turned out to, yup, be neurodivergent:

Wants to be swaddled at all times, as tightly as the parent can. Prefers double swaddling so a hand can’t accidentally escape (ie. loves deep pressure)

Only wants to be touched when nursing. Otherwise, touch is stressful (ie. hyper stimulation)

Happily sleeps 8 hours a night from a young age with no need for parental soothing. Soothes quicker by watching a mobile than through cuddles (ie. probably a mix of stimming, impaired social awareness, and hyper stimulation?)

Zero anxiety or awareness of strangers, can be passed around the room for two hours without care (ie. impaired social skills and face-blindness)

Ignores funny faces and smiles (ie. discomfort with eye contact)

HATES touching different textures (carpets, grass, different types of flooring) (ie. hypersensitivity again)

Will not interact with anything in a new space until they’ve had 15-20 minutes to observe silently (ie. difficulty with transition)

Will not play with a toy until an adult has shown the ‘proper’ way (ie. no clue the term, maybe lack of neurotypical imagination?, but this is SO AUTISTIC)

Will only show interest in toys that are a colourful set that can be lined up/organized (ie. “repetitive play” - I hate this term so much!)

Water and mobiles are fascinating to most babies, but these guys might scream when they have to stop and won’t calm down (ie. stimming)

-

I was suspicious that my eldest was neurodivergent by 4 months - surely no normal baby was that uninterested in social interaction? I was sure by 9, when he cried any time we tried to get him to stand on the door mat to put his shoes on.

Anyways, this idea that you can ‘get autism’ seems pretty ridiculous to me. I think people are just bad at SEEING autism and ADHD before the kid becomes difficult.

-

Ps. @audreycritter do you have any others? I know some of your kids have different neurodivergencies, but I remember your experiences being very relatable.

[neenieweenie]

Quote Prompts

this is a list of real things that i have heard people say and i strongly encourage that it be used in works of fiction. i started this list in my freshman year of high school and am now a junior in college. if you have any questions about context for any of them (or you’re just curious) feel free to ask! also please tag me if you use it bc i wanna see how ppl use it

“you know what? i am gonna have some grapes.”

“lemon juice and nicolas cage”

[seriously] “you silly goose”

“winner winner, chicken… soup”

“don’t be a debby downer” “did you just say ‘debby downer’?” “i did say debby downer”

“just say ‘controversial’ and call it a day”

“I’m gonna eat her grandma”

“nothing says ‘festive’ like ibs”

“what if the sun was on fire” “the sun IS on fire” “oh”

“my mom thinks my stepdad is a drug addict” “my mom IS a drug addict” “oH-“

“what delicious nutrients in milk!”

“that’s don cheadle” “[gasp]”

“how am i supposed to criss cross applesauce in these conditions”

“oh, like you don’t fart?” “i DONT fart” *farts*

“you’re the worst person i’ve ever met” “aww, you mean that?”

“i’m a girl, not a boy, but i do have epi pens (bonus: “assigned allergic at birth?”)

“fuck— i mean fart”

“i had all four sevens you bitch”

“stuff is temporary. swag is forever.”

“the “P” in “RIP” stands for piss” “rest in piss 😔✊”

“you’ve been in the shower too long, you’re gonna ruin your skin!” “my skin is baby soft”

“my bones are made of pretzel sticks”

“maybe the real clitoris was the friends we made along the way”

“i’m gonna give you a big fat kiss if you don’t shut the fuck up”

“is it worse to be called a slut or a whore?” “well whores get paid, so… slut, probably. cause they don’t have that entrepreneurial spirit”

“tomorrow is the wedding and also the wiffle ball game”

“you’re too young to be so jaded” “i was born jaded. i came out of the WOMB jaded”

“we’ve taught her too much. now she’s pointing out our mistakes”

“andrew jackson: super mega-cunt”

“let’s not sully the lox bagel experience”

“I’m twisting your brain into yarn. I’m crocheting a sweater with your thoughts”

“it’s a part of who i am” “well maybe… change”

“critically analyze your sources! fuck you!”

“i piss like a racehorse”

“i was an athlete if you put an m at the front of it”

“what ever happened to boy bands?” “we mostly get our imports from korea now”

“that’s bird autism” “cawtism”

“i had a dream that the monarchy returned to russia”

l“you’re the most chalant person i’ve ever met”

“i know where to get a tapeworm on my own, i don’t need you to sell me one”

“gotta keep him moist like a lizard”

nothing says happy 20th birthday like dying in a covered wagon”

“yeah, after archimedes figured out the water displacement theory he moved on to jet propulsion technology”

“it may be an ants life, but it’s a beetle’s world; let me tell you about beetles real quick”

“go spaghetti, motherfucker”

“this sandwich is sexually active” (it fucks)

“there is no hope for me. like, i’m on the titanic, it’s going down and i’m one of those people who just went to bed”

“that’s what they taught me in vampire school… i mean band camp”

“would that i were an ocean dweller”

“it’s simply the madness, it can’t be helped”

[monstersinthecosmos]

Okay I don’t want this to be like an obnoxious millennial assumption because I’m positive that every generation has things like this, but the way autism and ADHD was treated for us in the 90’s and how it affects adult diagnoses is like, imo, so integral to our coming of age and the stories we tell and the way we’ve gotten to know ourselves, even the way it relates to our job market and economy and how we operate inside it, and especially the way a pandemic uncovered it for so many people and exposed the cracks and revealed that we were all just barely functioning and held together with popsicle sticks and anyway

I say that because maybe it’s the un-diagnosed 90’s child in me but I feel particularly emotional about Keith’s arc in learning that he’s part Galra, and the way even the creators said they made him sort of prickly because of his biology, and I just !! Think so much about Keith’s neurotype as a part Galra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cause something about being diagnosed later in life is like, looking back at all the other ways you tried to handle yourself, all the missteps, maybe even misdiagnoses. Like, how many times did you try to treat ANXIETY without realizing you didn’t have an anxiety disorder, you just can’t deal with your family blaring the TV from the next room? How many times were you told you were lazy, or lying, when you didn’t know what executive dysfunction is? 

Keith is such a lovely rich character because his prickliness is EARNED—we know what happened to him, we know he’s traumatized, we know he’s been treated poorly by many people in his life. We know that he grew up thinking that he’d been abandoned by one of the people who should’ve loved him the most, in the whole world. He even questions that in his vlog—he makes the connection that he has trouble with people because of his mom. 

But I just wonder like, how much of it is just his biology. Not understanding the body he’s in, being completely ignorant of one whole half of his culture. Had he ever mutated before the TBP fight? Did it take him by surprise, did it frighten him? ((* This is head canon territory LMAO there’s no way to really know—like, is he able to do this because he just spent so much time with Krolia, or does Shiro going That’s the Keith I remember mean they used to have really primal sex that turned his eyes yellow? Lol)) 

Like when we talk about even the most broad generic terms of saying someone is neurodivergent, we don't even need to put a real life label on Keith. Like he's literally not human! Of course his brain looks different! Of course he functions differently! And I wonder how much is nature v nurture -- if he knew the truth about his mom, if his dad had lived, if he'd been allowed a normal childhood, would he still have been a weird kid?

Cause like, even seeing the way Shiro is able to get through to him, we see ways that he allowed for thrill seeking, and he didn't judge Keith for stealing his car. It reminds me of like, what we know now about asking children to sit still in school, and how perhaps some children would do better with standing desks. Shiro wants him to behave and succeed, and doesn't judge him for being a car thief, and gets through to him by bringing him cliff diving. And it just feels like this clue, you know, that nothing is wrong with Keith, he's just living in a weird place where people don't get him.

It’s just really special to me, because there’s so many pieces in the sequence of events of Keith’s character arc, and I know I’ve said this a handful of times now, but I really sincerely believe it’s the only thing the show really nailed. Accepting himself during the BOM Trial -> MOMENTS later learning something very important about his biology -> spending time with Krolia -> coming back to pilot Black when he’s READY and WANTS to (unlike the first time, when he resisted) -> becoming a pragmatic strong leader by the end.

Gosh idk. 

I don’t really have anywhere to go with this, it’s just something I was thinking about today and it gets me real emotional. Like, Keith must have had these moments, re-evaluating who he’d been before he’d known, finally understanding why he was Like That, and it’s so healing to imagine him accepting his past self and forgiving it because he understands now. 

[magpigment]

oh nice!! i can’t wait til i’m able to catch up to the current campaign, i’ve only got 40 episodes left of riptide finally!

as far as the mini comic idea goes it’s basically first panel is vyncent and dakota using their powers or something, looking almost straight out of an anime with the text ‘you guys are all super powered kids-‘ and the next panel would be william sitting on a gravestone with his name, shadows covering half of him w a wisp partially illuminating the shade with his skull glowing through the same color as the wisp w the text ‘well, i’m just a dead one.’

i’ve no idea if that’s anything cuz i very much don’t know a whole lot of what happens or how exactly will got his powers but like. based on his dialogue in the first five episodes it might be accurate XD. i’ll see when i get there i suppose but yeah!

also oh! starving by car seat headrest gives me some of wills vibes lol

have you listened to prime defenders yet? i just started listening to the free episodes and i’m accidentally super obsessed and have a fantastic idea for a mini two paneled comic for william that might be something based on my vibes of him so far

yes!! I actually just finished catching up on the latest episodes yesterday!! its such a fun campaign one of my absolute favorites, I would love to hear your comic idea if youdont mind :D

[garfeildfanpage]

Aoi & Akane - how not to be a healthy relationship

I’m going to go ahead and get my preemptive bias out of the way: I do not like Aoiaoi, in any shape or form, but this isn’t about that. If you like AoiAoi, this isn’t an attack on your personal feelings on their dynamic, all relationships in tbhk are flawed in some way or another, that’s like the whole point. In the best way I can I’m going to try to dissect their relationship, and maybe give a different perspective on why they behave the way they do.

Pre-canon

Aoi and Akane’s relationship has been, and has always been, incredibly codependent. Both of them perpetuate unhealthy behavior, and ignoring one or the other completely nullifies the point of their dynamic in the first place.

Aoi is implied to have a bad home life, along with a bad social life. Outcasted by everyone including her own father, lied to, and “treated like she’s a different species”. While I have a few personal interpretations of why that is, (autism*) the main point is that no one seems to really “get” her, she has difficulty connecting with people, and difficulty understanding relationships in general. To infer that Akane deals with similar problems isn’t far fetched, but he obviously goes about this differently. Akane is respected, looked up to, and is generally treated well by everyone around him, unlike Aoi. Aoi is treated like an object, a thing without feelings, constantly having her boundaries stepped on to the point where it’s just how life is around her. People see the unfair treatment, yet no one bats an eye as she doesn’t outwardly complain about anything. (Yashiro being a main point, though blame can’t really be put on her fully since she has no reason to think that Aoi is unhappy)

Akane doesn’t fully understand Aoi, and I don’t think with his current approach, he ever will. Aoi is a mystery, but it’s not his job to solve it. He imposes himself into Aoi’s business, with good intention, but because of how closed she keeps herself, he will never be able to help. But he doesn’t believe he is the one at fault, because all he wanted was to help her, and that can’t be bad right? But she doesn’t want people to help her, and unless she can learn to accept help, there’s no way to force entry. And it upsets him, as it would for most people. “Why won’t you just let me in?!” They’re an unstoppable force and an unmovable object, and unless they learn to communicate like normal people, it will stay that way.

Canon

The Clock-Keeper arc is a huge example of a lack of communication. Akane not telling Aoi about something so substantial can be a huge trust breaker, wether or not he thinks it’s important to tell or not. So many people take Akane’s side on this and it’s really unfair, it’s not just the fact he didn’t tell her, it’s the fact that he kept lying to her face about it. Of course, Akane is allowed to keep secrets, especially when he doesn’t even want to be a Keeper in the first place, “why tell someone about something when you don’t even want to be a part of it anyway?” But in tandem to that Aoi is allowed to feel betrayed, that Akane could just keep such a large factor of his life from her is obviously an upsetting thing to know. They both have grounds for reason, but they don’t ever communicate, ever. Akane thinks he knows what’s best for Aoi, and that’s not a just thing to believe. Aoi is a hypocrite, never being open about anything to anyone yet she expects the opposite from others. They’re both unbelievably stubborn, and both refuse to change their behavior even if it would be beneficial. Akane is selfish, Aoi in selfish, they’re both selfish, and that’s the whole point.

As much as I abhor the Akane & Aoi chapters, they are fundamental in seeing how bad the state of their relationship is. They both refuse to let up on their main flaws, and with Akane is specific it is infuriating to watch. Aoi never stands by boundaries, and so Akane pushes them without seeing how gross it is. They’re both at fault, but Akane’s behavior is at its worst. Aoi’s disappearance after probably knocked a few screws back in place for him, which I think really proves another point.

Better apart

When separated, Akane’s attitude changes. Losing his weird sense of childish entitlement, and returning back to a more childlike sense of justice. Wanting to save Aoi, not have Aoi for himself. The severance acted as a slap in the face to Akane, basically telling him to get his shit together. Comparatively making his confrontation with Aoi seem like two children fighting over something stupid. He regrets his actions, and wants to make them right. This development shows that Aoi is an inhibitor to Akane’s growth, this goes both ways. But the moment they reconnect, they start to fall back into bad habits, Aoi not telling Nene about her paralyzed hand, and Akane jumping back into the “will you go out with me!” attitude. Obviously not as hard, (and it really depends on how AidaIro decide how they want them to go forward.) but unless they really put the effort into it, it’ll just go back to the way it was before, having the cycle continue.

Akane needs someone who trusts him with their personal life, someone who gives him meaning without having him be forced to dedicate his life fully to that person.

Aoi needs someone who will listen to her and ask her if she’s okay, someone who accepts her without putting her on a pedestal.

And unless they can both learn to understand what the other needs, they’ll always never be able to be with one another comfortably.

final thoughts

Moral of the story: if two mentally unwell individuals wish to date, they both have to put in the effort to change themselves for the better.

I believe that if they were to fix their underlying problems, they could definitely be happy with one another. But because they don’t seem to be doing that at the moment, the belief that their relationship is healthy is completely false. And that’s not to say they can’t be together and if you like them you’re a bad person, flawed relationships can be explored in interesting ways, that is quite literally what they already are. But to their core, they are unhealthy, and misunderstanding their relationship defeats the whole point of their characters in the first place.

Harkening back to a previous post. I personally think that Akane’s specific attachment to Aoi is a trauma-bonding behavior rather than something he just does with people he likes. I don’t believe he would act like that with anyone else, since his relationship with Aoi runs so deep they obviously have behaviors exclusive to one another. That doesn’t mean Akane is totes peaches and cream with everyone else, he obviously has other underlying problems but I don’t think he’d ever do what he does with Aoi for anyone else. They’re very attuned to one another, positively or not, certain aspects of their personality are definitely specific to one another.

(*I personally view Aoi as autistic as I believe that a lot of her character can be viewed as a non-diagnosed autistic girl who is never able to fully grasp herself let alone other people, and is thusly turned into an outcast because she’s “different”. Akane not so much, but I can see the vision)

This was long sorry if it makes no sense or there’s some grammar mistakes I’m very very tired atm

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Can you help me find a fic? It was a poly ship, with I think Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian. Possibly also Nie Huaisang? LWJ, JC, JZX (+maybe NHS) were divine beasts and WWX was another mythical beast but he hid it. I don’t think they were all romantically involved: WWX was the pivot between the others. It was abo or a fated-soulmate au. I think I might be getting two fics confused though, because I remember there is one where WWX, LWJ, JC, and JZX form some kind of soul bond and they fight through the Sunshot Campaign together and they can read each other’s thoughts and bring each other back to life, but this one is not that one! Can’t remember that one’s name either and it isn’t in my bookmarks. TT

FOUND? I’m pretty sure the one with the fourway soulbond is Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k, Platonic Soulbond, Hurt/comfort, Canon   Divergence, No golden core transfer, JC&JZX stay in Xuanwu cave, Fix-it, Temporary character death)

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2. Hello! I am looking for a fic where  Wei Wuxian is a hairstylist. Rich!Lan Wangji keeps coming back even though originally he would only make an appointment with the owner. Likes his scalp massage. I can't remember if the owner is Huaisang or Wen Ning. Thank you for your help! @toopunkrockforshul

FOUND! Delivered in Silence by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Slow Burn, hairstylist!WWX, client!LWJ, Horny WangXian)

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3. For fic finder: An mpreg fic: in the Gusu lectures Jin Zixuan rapes Wei Wuxian, and so Madame Yu pulls WWX out of classes and drags him back to Lotus Pier where he is confined in secret for a year to have the child. The story continues on through the canon storyline with WWX repeatedly clashing with JZX especially over his engagement to Yanli. LWJ realizes that JZX hurt WWX and stands by WWX’s side to face JZX. I think it was a very long fic.(wangxian endgame, not WWX/JZX)

FOUND! secrets for the stars to keep by UchiHime (M, 37k, WangXian, XuanXian, XuanLi, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mpreg, Canon Divergence, not a/b/o, Hurt/Comfort, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Recovery)

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4. Help me please! I am struggling to find a fic due to tumblr’s dumb search system (I know I originally found it due to this blog). The fic involves Lan Zhan slowly turning into jade and Wei Wuxian is asked to help bc he is great at breaking curses! It turns into the two of them basically doing a bucket list for Lan Zhan and it was very cute! @flamboyantly-asexual​

FOUND! A Curse of a Different Color by nickel710 (G, 35k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation, Curses, Curse Breaking, Asexual polyamory, Repressed LWJ, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drunk LWJ, Falling In Love, WWX Being an Idiot, Non-explicit vomit, just a tiny reference to it, Anxiety)

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5. Hi! For the fic finder, I vaguely remember reading a summary where lwj turns into a girl and has to have an orgasm in order to get back to being a boy or something along those lines? Sorry, that's the only thing I remember about it but I need it 😭🙏🏼

FOUND! Coming Back to Yourself by acernor (E, 21k, WangXian, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Pining, Gender or Sex Swap, Vaginal Sex)

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6. Hi, I'm looking for a fic, large I believe, where a transmigrator was born as Xichen... Any idea which can be @krysaniar​

FOUND? the eve of dawn by theAbandoned_Grimoire (G,132k, LXC & LWJ, LXC & QHJ & LWJ, LQR & QHJ, NHS & NMJ, future wangxian, canon divergence, dumb LXC au, hurt/comfort, angst & feels, fluff, dysfunctional family, happy ending, implied/referenced character death, minor character death, slow burn)

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7. Hello! I’m looking for a fic I read a while back. My memory is a bit vague, so take with a grain of salt. Plot: Lan Wangji is stressed (forgot if it was just stress or if it was autism related) so Wei Wuxian uses his body as a weighted blanket, just laying on top of LWJ. (I think WWX buys him an actual weighted blanket later on but LWJ prefers WWX as a weighted blanket. Also, I think they get together at end of fic, but I’m not sure.) thanks in advance for your help! It’s greatly appreciated! @dweebdaweeb

FOUND? Happy for Now by ScarlettStorm (E, 79k, Female WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Rule 63, Cisswap, There Was Only One Bed, romance author au, Adhd wwx, service top LWJ, Pining, Smut, Comedy, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, horny yearning, furtive masturbation, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Sex Toys) there was a scene like that in 'Happy for Now' by ScarlettStorm

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8. hi ! i’m looking for a fic set in post canon where i’m pretty sure wangxian we’re tg, they go on a hunt where smth puts everyone to sleep and eventually kills. but rlly the curse tricks you into showing u a horrible nightmare that u think is ur reality so u stay asleep. wei ying sees lan zhan die in front of him and he’s super angry and resentful that lan zhan would leave him, and after the funeral he ends up leaving cloud recesses and suzhui bc he can’t be there without him. eventually he is woken up and finds out it was a dream, but wei ying talks to lan zhan and is like “how did you not resent me i chose to leave you”. i cant find it anywhere !!

FOUND? more damage than a soul should see by Kika988 (M, 12k, WangXian, Heavy Angst, Whump, Post-Canon, Please see notes for specific warnings!)

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9. Hello Mods!

I have two fics I'm looking for, that I have regrettably lost amidst my 53 pages of AO3 subscriptions (yes it is a lot no I will not shrink it I have 20+ fandoms I enjoy I am an unrepentant).

A) 1st is a Golden core reveal fic which also included Wangji telling Wuxian about the marriage ribbon and the two of them serving tea to Jiang Cheng and Yanli after it.

B) 2nd is a modern AU fic where Wuxian is a Hacker? Code writer? for his main job but also is a music teacher I think while Wangji works in hospital? They have a big concert together is what I remember.

Any help finding these two gems is greatly appreciated! (^_^♪)

9B)

FOUND? Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, So much trauma, Angst with a Happy Ending, Takes a while to work through it, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

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10. I'm looking for a fic where they mention that something that sometimes stops cultivators leaving the sects and going rogue is having to pay the forge prices of their swords. IIRC it was in the context of the Lan sect helping WWX get out from the Jiangs by paying the forge price for him. Please and thank you!

FOUND! Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not rated, 64k, JL & WWX, wangxian, post-canon, protective WWX, protective JL, JC & WWX reconciliation, reluctant matchmaker JL, pre-JL/LJY) Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller mentions disciples that leave have to pay to keep their sword, but it's about Luo Qingyang and the Jins

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11. Hi! It has been a while. So there's this ff that I have read before and I cannot remember the title. So it goes like

Wei Ying was going to destroy the Yin Tiger Tally and he knows he's gonna die in process. Jin Ling's 100th day is also coming up so he insists A-Yuan to go there too with someone I cannot remember (but I think it was Song Lan) and he told A-Yuan to find Lan Zhan. I think he also wrote some letters for the people invited there to read. A-Yuan started crying I think and yelling that Gold was bad (he was refering to the Jins because they tortured them on camps before).

Pov to Wen Qing and Wen Ning. They weren't aware that Wei Ying was going to destroy the Yin Tiger. I think Wei Ying told them to buy something or collect something. So while they were out Wei Ying started to destroy the Yin Tiger. Wen Qing senses something was wrong and hurriedly went back to the Burial Mounds. Time skip Wei Ying still dies (?) Wen Qing was trying to revive him until she passes out. Time skip again Lan Zhan Jiang Yanli Jin Zixuan came to the burial mounds, Jin Zixuan got shot by an arrow and was poisoned so Jiang Yanli find Wen Qing and beg at her to save her husband. I don't remember much but at some point they saw Wei Ying's corpse.

Last time I read it, it was still incomplete. I hope you can help me with this. Thank you @hellothere9597​

FOUND? #11 i think its a deleted fic. The title is When I'm Gone by qiankun_pouch . Its fit the description that are mentioned

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12. Hi I'm looking for a fic where Wei ying is obessed with marrying a rich man, so he goes to parties with meng Yao looking for one..Meanwhile Lan Zhan his room mate is rich and hiding it. He detests those who seek money. They have chemistry. But Wei ying never wants to risk being back in poverty. And Lan Zhan he into him a lot but he doesn't want Wei ying to be with him for Money.Wen ning is also a roommate. @imgonnablogtheworldtodeath

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13. Hello!! This is a fic finder request but first I have to let you know that ur all doing gods work and that I appreciate u all sm!!

Ok so im not sure if im doing this correctly but I’m looking for this fic that I lost where lwj almost dies in nightless city saving jyl. Lxc was able to save him by binding their souls together or smth at the last minute and then he hid lwj away in qinghe where he’s basically in a comatose state. Wwx thinks lwj is dead and blames himself and iirc he turns himself in at cr and gets whipped? Also lxc 100% blames wwx for lwj’s near death and pretty much hates him. I also remember that when lwj woke up and wwx saw him he went a little crazy and wouldn’t believe he was real

Again thank you all sm for your hard work!! @kitekichenqin​

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Loss, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn)

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14. Hello! I am looking for this fic I read a reaaaaally long time ago. The only thing I remember is that wwx died but not really when he was on his way to jin lings one month celebration (ik it's really vague up till here) and wen ning takes him back and then goes to the banquet and talks with the main characters there privately. Thanks in advance! @la-diabla

FOUND? End Racism in the OTW | The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)  

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15. During Gusu lectures LWJ and WWX spar and something sparks between them like dual cultivation? I think they were already in a relationship at that point, and during the spar they are giddy with the thrill of the fight and, feeling their energy circling, it gets them horny and they, pardon the crassness, jerk each other off in a hallway after they drag each other off the field. @gloriousclotpole

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 663k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)

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16. hellooooo I've been looking for this fic but I can't find it all I remember is Thant lwj goes back in the past after wwx's death (during the cloud recess study arc) and it ends withe a threesome with him wwx and younger lz. also at the end he goes back to the futur to wait for 'his' wwx can you help ????? thanks for all that you do !!!!!✨✨✨✨✨✨

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17. hii i was looking for this wangxian fic where I think they accidentally end up taking care of a-yuan? the only thing i remember from the fic is that around the end social services or cps take a-yuan away from wangxian for a day or two and then they have to go sign some papers before they can have a-yuan back. that's all i remember sorry 😭 i read it a long time ago maybe 2020/2021? I've been looking for it for ages and i can't find it, please help 🥺

FOUND? All those roads are pointing to you by jiejieaini (E, 81k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Drowning, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bunnies, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Dubious Consent, Dom/sub Undertones, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Rimming, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Marriage Proposal)

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18. Zero idea if you still do this, but Im looking for a certain fanfic which is about lwj and wwx moving together i think because he was kicked out by madam yu, because he outed himself and I remember Lan Xichen being very supportive and even going back to the house to retrieve wwx‘s belongings and ofc lwj and wwx fall in love other the time course

FOUND? Found Family by fyredancer (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Getting Together, POV Outsider, Dysfunctional Family, Coming Out, Bad Parenting, Protective Older Brothers, Protective Siblings)

FOUND? Where is home? by SpicyRamen_10969 (M, 42k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Good Sibling LXC, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC Being an Asshole, Possible Smut?)

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19. Hello, this is an FicFinder request.

I don't remember much, but it was a rare-pairing of WRH and WWX. I'm not sure if it was a time travel fic. When bunny was 14 or something, a water deity came from the waters of Yunmeng and told him of his powers/potentials. Bunny then was take. To kunlun mountain or smth like that and found out that he controlled the void, darkness, some elements as well. He meditated and became immortal and had lived for more than 200 years in another realm. In Yunmeng, he was still a kid and went to seclusion to complete his meditation or something. He also had a wife/lover in underworld and it was a mix of Greek mythology and others as well. @tinyfoxpeach

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20. I particularly remember that it is a four part series with one fic rewritten. It's basically post burial mounds siege where wwx ascended to immortality, and lwj ascended after his 33 discipline whip punishment. Lwj's injuries were so grave that it carried to his ascension. It's not specified but lwj ends up in wwx's domain and wwx goes batshit after finding out what the lan sect did and confronted them. Mostly fluff and angst. @bananatoffeepie​

FOUND? Deity AU by crypticidentity (M, 5k, wangxian, hurt/comfort, madness, implied/Referenced character death, whipping, angst, protective WWX, BAMF WWX, deity WWX, deity LWJ) check all the tags before reading!

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[aroace-ventplace]

I don't know how to put this right. I really hate qprs, I hate how they're just pushed as "relationship for aspecs" not just in fandom but real life. I hate just the emphasis on lifelong friendships and alternative deep relationships. It drives me up a wall, this seeking out for relationships "equivelant" in depth and closeness to romantic partners without the romance or sex. Maybe this isn't me being aroace? Maybe I really am aplatonic also? But I can't stand the thought of suffering a relationship that suffocatingly close, that's how I knew I was aromantic and I feel like I'm going crazy every time I see other aros and aces lamenting and mourning never getting to have such a deep relationship. Familial relationshipd are the best, because they have a limit to their passive degredation. My cousin doesn't mind it's been 2 years since we talked she still invites me over to her house to see her and talk! Friends are already exhausting what on earth could possibly ever make someone want to deal with something even more than that! What's so appealing about it? What is it everyone even other aros see in these relationships that make them lament lacking them? I can't see anything but cons. It feels like when people get upset about a friendship ending, I'll never understand that drive. I've never felt expected to have a romance or sex life, but I've always felt expected to want an equivelant, to "not be alone" and I can't tell how much of it is subtler forms of amatonormativity and how much of it is just spectrum.... I don't even know what I'm ranting about anymore...

i definitely relate to a lot of what you’re saying. the a-spectrum is so wide that constructs that are really important to one part of the community (like qprs) can make other people (non-partnering aros like myself) feel alienated all over again. this is a bit of a messy subject to tackle, but personally, the idea of being in a qpr fills me with the same kind of revulsion i feel towards being in a more “traditional” relationship. i’m genuinely happy for the aspecs who feel comfortable in qprs—it’s just not something that’ll ever fit me, and that boundary can sometimes feel a bit isolating in general aspec spaces.

i… can’t really discuss aplatonicism/friendships without bringing up the fact that i’m autistic (as are many aspec people). to me, autism feels like being an alien that’s forced to pretend to be human. i don’t understand other people, and most of them don’t understand me, and trying to keep up with them is exhausting; it’s easier for me to just keep my distance. i do have people i consider friends, but what i define as a “friendship” looks very different from what society expects it to be. as an autistic person, most of my relationships are less… “intense,” i guess. prolonged social interaction just isn’t something i’m suited for, and that’s how my brain works, and it’s fine—just like it’s fine how i don’t experience “romance” in the societally expected way.

sorry for the rambling; if nothing else, i hope it at least helped you feel like there’s someone else out there who’s experiencing the same things as you. best of luck!!

[sleepy-bi666]

incorrect quotes for my mcstm dr to cope and connect

Ivor: Why am I the bad guy? Aiden: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

---

Jesse: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

---

Ivor: Where's Lukas? Aiden: Don't worry, I'll find them. Aiden, shouting: Jesse sucks! Lukas, distantly: Jesse is the best person ever! Fuck you! Aiden: Found them.

---

Petra: I failed my safety training course today. Lukas: Why, what happened? Petra: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" Lukas: And? Petra: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

---

Lukas: They called me the B-word. Axel: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

(this is so canon)

---

Lukas, talking about Jesse/Me: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

---

Jesse/Me: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

---

Aiden: I have a problem. Ivor: Kill it. Aiden: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

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Olivia: One time I went to hand Aiden a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

---

Lukas: I’m sad. Jesse/Me: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das. Jesse/Me: And das not good.

---

Olivia: Is something burning? Petra: My burning love for you of course! Olivia: … Petra: … Petra: And the kitchen is on fire…

(i know what you are 0-0)

---

Ivor: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Ivor lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

---

Axel: Ooh, somebody has a crush Lukas: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Jesse I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. *Later that night* Lukas, very much awake: Uh oh.

---

Axel: Guys, I have a question. Jesse/Me: kys <3 Axel: I love you too. Lukas: Ah, yes. Siblings.

---

Jesse/Me: Are you coming to bed? Lukas: I can't. This is important. Jesse/Me: What? Lukas: Someone is wrong on the internet.

---

Jesse/Me: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.

(i am trans. so)

---

Lukas: Why do you hang out with me? Jesse/Me: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me! Lukas: … Lukas: I feel a bit sorry for you.

---

Axel: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd. Petra: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue. Axel: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

---

Petra: Okay, what does A stand for? Jesse/Me: Arson. Petra: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? Jesse/Me: Barson. Ivor: *laughter* Petra: What stands for C? Jesse/Me: Commit arson. Ivor: Oooo. Petra: D! Jesse/Me: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. Ivor: *more laughter*

---

Axel: Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend? Lukas: Generic excuse. Axel: I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face. Lukas: I can.

---

Jesse/Me: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Olivia made me get tested.

---

Petra: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity? Ivor, turning to Axel: How tall are you?

---

Ivor: So, did everyone learn their lesson? Petra: No. Axel: I did not. Lukas: I may have actually forgotten one. Jesse/Me: Also no. Ivor: Oh good, neither did I. Olivia: *Exhausted sigh*

---

Lukas: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Jesse/Me: Thanks, it's the trauma.

(please this is so me)

---

Jesse/Me: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited. Petra: "If" Axel: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.

[bearzas-art]

My Impenetrable Fortress

Paring: Kinger x Queenie (TADC), Queenie POV

Type: Fluff, either romantic or platonic with romantic undertones (I’m not good at decifering what’s romance and what isn’t)

Word Count: 942

Kinger Kinger Kinger…. he’s so autism… I’m so autism about him… but it’s mostly Queenie!

I stare at my hands, the disembodied gloves floating in front of me. I’m not sure how much time I spent sitting on my bed after waking up. An hour? Two hours? A day? Time doesn’t seem to exist here, so it’s difficult to tell. I let out a defeated sigh, then a knock on my bedroom door makes me look up.

“Queenie? It’s Ragatha, can I come in?” Ah shoot, I think to myself. Moving quickly, I get out of bed and smooth my blanket before opening the door for Ragatha. I look down at her and smile with my eyes, trying to pretend I don’t see her concerned expression. “Oh! Hello… did you need something?”

Ragatha pauses for a moment before speaking. “Okay so basically I just wanted to ask, well… are you okay? If there’s something I could do to help you I would do it. I know things aren’t great here but-“ I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her from continuing.

“I appreciate you I really do, but I’m fine. Thank you for checking in on me.” Ragatha didn’t seem convinced by my answer. She goes to speak but then pauses. “Wait here. I have to uh, go talk to someone.” She says quickly, heading down the long hallway before I have a chance to interject. Am I supposed to wait here? Maybe it’ll be fine if I get back in bed, I think to myself. Hesitating for a moment, I decide to walk back to my bed and sit down.

The bed creaks softly when I sit, my gloved hand slowly rubs the soft blanket. When is she coming back? I wonder. The silence in my room seems to get louder somehow. Right when I start to consider laying back down I hear a knock on my door again. I look up and see Kinger standing there.

“Hello Queenie! Am I allowed to come in?” I nod silently and he walks over to me and sits down next to me on my bed. “Soooo, I’ve heard from a little birdie that you’re not feeling so good. Well, I wasn’t told by an actual bird, Ragatha told me to not mention her.” I let out a soft chuckle. He looks at me longingly, and I can’t help but think about how adorable he is.

“I appreciate you checking in one me but honestly I am fine…” I pause before continuing in a slightly softer voice, “I’m glad you’re here, though.” Kinger smiles and it gives me butterflies in my stomach. He gets up and holds his hand out to me. “I have an idea that I’ve been thinking about doing with you for a while. Something fun that’s just for us, you know?” I take his hand and he helps me up and we walk out of my room.

“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what you could be talking about. But I’m excited to find out.” Kinger smiles at me and takes me down the hall to some of the unused bedrooms. “Great! Now, I need you to help me take pillows and blankets from these rooms. We have to take them all down to the main room.”

Intrigued, I follow him as he goes through the bedrooms and grabs pillows and blankets. Unfortunately, the lack of arms makes it difficult to grab them all in one trip so we have to make multiple trips. We talk and laugh while taking all this stuff to the main room, setting them all in a pile in the middle of the floor. Once we get done Kinger starts stacking the pillows and blankets together. I stand there watching him for a moment before deciding to help him.

When we get done we sit back and look at the pillow fort we made. He starts to crawl inside. A few seconds later he pokes his head out. “Come on in, Queenie! It’s great in here!” he says excitedly. I kneel down to the floor and crawl inside. Kinger lays a blanket down on both of our laps and shakes his hands happily. Seeing him stim makes me happy. He looks back at me and catches me staring at him.

“So, uh, did you have fun? I had fun, a LOT of fun, but I wanna make sure you had fun too.” I giggle a bit and pat his lap reassuringly. “Don’t worry, hun, I had a lot of fun. I feel a lot better now.” Kinger’s eyes light up when he hears that and quickly brings me in for a hug.

“I’m so glad.” He says softly. The hug catching me off guard, but then I smile and hug him back. Kinger speaks up again. “Um… I know you said you were fine, and I trust you, you’re one of the few people that I trust this much. The other is Ragatha, but I really trust you too. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you can talk to me about anything. Good or bad, I like talking to you and making you happy.”

I hesitate for a moment then let out a soft sigh and hug him a little bit more. “I know you do, and you never fail to put a smile on my face. Well, figuratively, I suppose. Since we don’t have mouths anymore.” Kinger chuckles awkwardly at my response. We sit in the fort talking about anything that comes to mind. I can’t tell if this warm feeling I have is because of the fort or Kinger, but I enjoy it nonetheless. I wouldn’t give this moment up for anything in the world.

[reasonablerodents]

prompt: hotchreid, hotch gets reid a bday or xmas gift that he absolutely HATES

Me, looking at Hotchreid: these guys have sooooo much autism in them. (Even though it’s not clear in this if Hotch is autistic or not… maybe he just hasn’t realised yet!)

Anyway yea I wanted to project sensory issues onto Spencer because I can. It turns out that it’s actually quite hard to put into words for me, but I gave it a go hahah.

Tell It Like It Is (G)

Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Sensory Issues, Autistic Spencer Reid

* * * * * * * * * *

It certainly looks nice.

It’s a brown fair-isle sweater vest, covered in traditional patterns that Spencer could explain the origins of for hours; really, it should be perfect.

The problem is, as soon as he touches it, his fingers immediately recoil. It’s scratchy, yes, but there’s something else that he just can’t explain about it. All Spencer knows is that he can’t stand the feeling- and the very idea of wearing it is completely out of the question.

“Are you alright?”

Aaron, he knows, can read every single one of his movements, but it still doesn’t stop Spencer from trying to lie and say he’s fine.

“Yes- thank you so much, Aaron, it’s beautiful. Did you know that the term fair-isle actually only refers to traditional stranded knitting from Fair Isle, one of the Shetland islands? It’s used far more colloquially now, and most people refer to any two-stranded knitting as fa-“

He’s cut off by a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Listen, it’s completely alright if you don’t like it, Spencer. I know you’re trying to deflect with facts, but you’re not going to hurt my feelings.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” Spencer admits. “It’s just- no- don’t worry, I’m being ridiculous, it’s a fantastic present.”

He tries to touch it again to show Aaron and himself that everything’s okay, but it’s a terrible idea. His fingers curl and he tenses, screwing up his face uncomfortably. He feels so stupid, not being able to be as appreciative as he should be just because he doesn’t like the texture.

Aaron gently takes the sweater out of his hands, setting it down on the sofa. “Please, just tell me what’s wrong. I’m not going to be upset with you, it’s completely fine not to like something.”

Spencer can feel a small lump in his throat at how nice Aaron’s being to him despite how unreasonable he feels like he’s being. He fiddles awkwardly with the hem of the shirt he’s wearing, casting his eyes down so he doesn’t have to look directly at his partner.

“It’s silly,” he quietly says. “It’s the texture, I can’t explain why but it just makes my hands feel strange, and I feel so bad because you clearly spent a lot of time choosing it but- but I’m just not going to be able to wear it, not when I can barely touch it, and I feel so awful because it’s from you, and-“

He swallows and takes a deep breath as tears start to gather in his eyes, wringing his hands. “Sensory issues are normal, I know they are, but it doesn’t stop how stupid it all feels. And it’s Christmas, I should be grateful for this- and I am- I just-“

“Spencer, slow down.” Aaron replies steadily. “It’s alright. You don’t need to apologise for how your brain works, and especially not to me.”

“I should,” Spencer mutters.

“You don’t. You never do, okay?”

Spencer just sighs. He knows that Aaron’s technically right, and he’d say the same thing to anyone else himself, but when it’s him, it doesn’t seem to apply. He doesn’t know how to explain it properly, and even if he did, he thinks he’d just start crying.

“Can I give you a hug?”

A nod.

“Come here,” Aaron says as Spencer rests his head on his shoulder, squeezing his partner tightly in the way that he knows helps calm him. “It’s alright. I love you.”