#maybe they r sisters
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my sister bought me a new huge sketchbook. and the first thing I do in it is draw this man. clouded monk:)
#maskerat art#traditional art#clouded monk#honored monk#abnormality#lobcorp#lobotomy corp art#lobotomy corp#lobotomy corporation#lobotomy corp fanart#also my sister was delighted by the page! she liked it ^_^#oh and yeah i use a lot of washi tape for my traditional art#I'm obsessed with decorating the pages#mmm maybe i apologize for drawing this guy so much#the posts r flopping (except for the one where i ranted for some reason?? that had a huge reach LOL)...#but the autism is takng over i can't physically stop drawing him#it's like... a form of stimming
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Here to share Hien thoughts today.
One thing that defines her is that she’s very capable. She’s the highest ranking in the squad after Maizuru so her confidence is in part because she does have that senior coworker &/ leader authority to her, confidence which is very much earned.
If I had to dig deeper at her beyond just what we’re shown I’d go with the angle that… She was born into the Nakamoto household and being a ninja servant, she grew up there, she doesn’t know anything else beyond the job, and it’s a job she does well, traines to get there. She’s here to do her work and she’s content with her life being how it is, not that she knows anything else. I don’t think she’d be self-aware about it all? Both because this really is pretty normal for Wa and it’s her normal, and because, while she doesn’t fold her spine or care for things like cosmetics, she does mold her attitude to be both capable and respectable. Her home, the Nakamoto household, is simultaneously a professional setting, it’s a 24/7 thing.
She’s critical of others, including her superiors and she doesn’t shy from it. Everyone shittalks Toshiro’s father regardless, but she also gets reprimanded by Maizuru for seeing Toshiro as vaguely unreliable, again likely influenced by their history as childhood friends, sasses Maizuru when she goes off into an anecdote again, etc. Even as a kid with Toshiro, doubtlessly after starting her ninja training already considering that Toshiro started his at ~5yo, she told him it was unbecoming of him to cry. She’s the one both with the job and the will to keep others in check, like when it comes to Izutsumi not doing her tasks, etc etc.
Her childhood friend relationship with Toshiro only grew more professional with time, to her surprise but seems to be more about the thought of it rather than it affecting her emotionally. With the way her extra comic lays it out, it seems she expected to become Toshiro’s mistress because of history repeating itself, in a "it is what it is" way more than anything, which is in line with the reading that she’s more go-with-the-flow and "anything that I’m tasked with I’ll accomplish, as a matter of course". She’s not really social, and keeps herself ready to act at beck and call. She’s not uptight but she’s hard-working. So yeah like, taking pride in your skills but also keeping your identity mostly molded for efficiency. She doesn’t really think about it all, she just is and she’s fine with things as they are, going from one task to the next.
I think it’d be neat to look at her relationship with her parents… They’re both servants at the Nakamotos’, so while maybe busy like Maizuru was at times while raising Toshiro but still taking the time to cook for him (which, parents that prioritize work over her would make sense with how she became how she is), I wonder what their relationship was like, how much time they spent together, how Hien feels like towards them… I assume they’re a part in molding what her definition of normal is, after all if they are longstanding servants of the Nakamotos she has that much less reason to question such a life. But like… Have they ever had hard-hitting discussions, or is she pretty distant even with them? Did they push her into working harder, or were more hands-off? Does Hien maybe want to earn recognition by being capable? Hien has a younger sister that she gets along "so-so" with…
Hien’s younger sister seems to smile more, be more social and a bit nonchalant, such and such. Could be a point of tension that points to the "so-so", that they’re dissimilar/Hien thinks she doesn’t behave right or takes things too lightly, that she’s "unreliable" maybe. Or it could also point to some difference in how they grew up… Like oh I bet there could be tasty angst with mertocracy and siblings favoritism with her family thrown in there… Having to earn the love, earn your keep, earn your spot in the hierarchy (in work and family both)
To me she shines best as a foil, like to Beni, but like. She’s got neat stuff going on If you’re wondering where I took half of what I referenced from I recommend looking at my masterpost on the Nakamoto party, info and extras are compiled
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Hien#Meta#character analysis#fumi rambles#Working on a lot of different things on top of my actual work so things r slower than i’d like lately… Have this Discord ramble as apology#Meanwhile Beni’s attitude is very subservient and submissive. It’s interesting how little and how much difference they have simultaneously#On that front. Like you can’t really say Hien isn’t like a bodyguard ornament in the bg even if she shows more personality#Hienbeni fic will get finished one day I prommy#We’ve never seen Hien stressed which I think is a feat. Teach me your ways (probably repression)#Hien girlboss compilation#Ok Hien sister jealousy plot where she doesn’t know where the anger is coming from so she assumes it’s out of principle bc h slacks off#Hienbeni repressed anger power couple truly#So hmmm 3w2 enneagram Hien…? Beni I was thinking either 8w9 or 6w5… Maybe smth that becomes an 8 when stressed#You have to be pretty ballsy to specialize in explosives
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puppet of the divine
#yes i did this bcus i love dunmeshi. and i love putting me and my close friends n family in it#also bcus fuck zelink enjoyers. thats my sister!!!!!#zelink enjoyers fuck off and fuck you 🖕 i love my sister and would die for her but i wouldnt kiss her#anyway :] i love this parallel#i loved rendering this sm#maybe more soon . idk . my dunmeshi kick is in the beginning phase#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#legend of zelda#botw#breath of the wild#loz au#botw link#botw zelda#idk . lol#DONT BE A FREAK ON THIS POST BTW. WE R IRLS. THANK YOU !
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hear me out. combine Angel au with Tim Twins au.
...and the reason the bats never meet angel in person is cause he has some mobility issues.
like maybe he uses a wheelchair and/or needs braces or a cane or smth. or maybe it's like some disease that makes him unable to do strenuous activities, like pots.
idk man, it's 1 am, i brain barf first, research later.
but then they(bats + Jackson) get themselves in trouble and watch whichever-evil-bitch-is-responsable get intimidated by some kid that can't even stand properly.
like, it's joker vs Some Guy, and joker is NOT Winning. (prob not gonna go as far as joker tho)
and then Jackson is all 'this is Angel ^-^'
angel: hi. ...bye
jackson: isn't he neat? the skrungly.
and half the batfam is like 'wait they're the same age??? and probably twins??? Angel isn't some weird father figure???'
the other half of batfam: no wait, it makes sense now. i can see the whole "raised eachother" thing better having seen that. the voice changer was prob just fucking with us.
... haven't read the fic in a while so uhh mc'scuse me for inaccuracies.
#i think the fic name was 1-800-gotham#yea sounds abt right#batman#tim drake#disability representation#i hope#and maybe#autism representation#in both of em#cause i kinda smelled it in him with the communication ussues that r similar to my sister
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I know that only like five of you care about these but here’s some more diary doodles for my oc Cashmere
♡ if you like my art please consider buying me a kofi ♡
#deity’s doodles#artists on tumblr#in order it’s her mom Cake her father Conquest her eldest sibling Cassiopeia her second oldest sister Cassiopeia her brother Cardamom#and then her but like in the past!#posting this as if I haven’t already shown the people who care about these already#but like who knows maybe more of y’all r interested in seeing these#dnd#d&d#dungeons & dragons#dungeons and dragons#dnd oc#d&d oc#tiefling#tieflings#tiefling oc#support me on kofi so I have more than $5
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i just wanted a simple name for him and i was like halfway through the origin before i realised that rory and rica’s names are way too cutesy similar. too late now
#at one point kalah had whimsy. this is the only way you can tell#rory n rica look fairly alike too. rory doesnt love that he very much takes after his mother#but worth it to look a bit like his sister#rory: people get us mixed up sometimes. similar names same red hair and we’re almost equally as pretty—#rica: you know the first time you told this joke it was almost funny#rory: —as long as she’s got her makeup on#i’ll play the rest of the origin tomorrow maybe#another realisation about his name feat live footage of my thought process:#‘simple could be good for ship names too! i could end up with. uh. r— rorrigan. oh god that’s bad’
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domestic butch4butch aliens for day 5 of @startrekfemslashweek with the prompt "learning your language"
these r my ocs Cressida and Eyal :)) Eyal is Nal's little sister! read abt her family here and her mommy issues here
#no idea what the cardassian text says btw. copied it off the first image I found on google#I admit they r not vry fleshed out in my mind. I only know that they have an enemies to lovers arc lol#I think maybe eyal stows away on a romulan cargo ship to get off of cardassia prime. and cressida works on said cargo ship.#someone else needs to write their cool space adventures with a side of slow burn romance and learning to see past their prejudices#narcissus's echoes#pythasposting#(barely pythasposting at this point. eyal is uhhhh pythas's sister-in-law??)#narcissus draws#startrekfemslashweek2023#ds9#cardassians#star trek#star trek fanart#star trek oc#romulans#star trek art
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thinking thoughts thinking thoughts thinking thoughts th—
what if irulanne was from the same clan as m*erril but raised a city elf since she was found in that crypt
what if she’s from the al*erion on her moms side and a l*avellan on her dads
what if lhysas father (an assassin just like his daughter lhysaa <33) had allies in his days as an assassin a pariah of his family
what if he wasn’t the only one that was betrayed when a thing went topsy turvy (will be getting to how that went down eventually !!!!!)
what if lhysas father moved on from lúthien the mother of the inky and her brother (she sort of went *poof* for reasons of her own that golly i need to write all of this down jdnxgcg i mean tungle post is a good place to start dnbxgxg)
what if unbeknownst to irulanne her and lhys and feanorian are half sibs what if her mother gave birth to iru and hid her in the crypt what if they found her and thought her to not have magic at first so she was raised by the elder of the alienage. (her mother was likely to have passed on as well poor iru 🥀🥲)
what if they kept an eye anyway knowing the bloodline she hailed from (lonans line lhysa and feanorians line has a STORY if there ever was one i will yell about it soon prommy !!!!!) and low and behold none too long later her magic manifested what if they waited a while more until she built her network of little creatures she reanimated that relayed her things and gaggle of friends what if she had a kingdom of her own and she refused
what if she was thrown under a bloody ritual to wipe her memories so that all she knew was the sisters a sort of sect of necromancers within the mourners that had their own ideas and machinations and saw her as their heir of sorts??
what if it was like she was to be some sort of lich queen…thing(?) ruling the living and the dead from the necropolis and that it went topsy turvy (to irulannes benefit ubeknownst to her at the time!!) when the thing happened and that whole her having a mage heir to rule was merely a side thing that if it happened cool but the main goal was the lich queen thing.
what if feanorian was in the area for a reason or another (maybe i can think of that with emms episode !!) he’s looking for the rook on behalf of lhysa who has her ex to thwart/save and a demigod daughter to raise etc etc (things i am planning to yell about later oo there’s so much to yell about with lhysa but this is a iru lore essay <3)
what if the prodigy to gifted kid burnout between lucanne (heir to bloodline etc etc luca and child of nothing destined to inherit everything irulanne) made me insane <3
#leg.txt#leg.ocs#oc: irulanne ingellvar#x: lucanne#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#parent death mention#just in case!!#brainrot bad i hope yall enjoy hehe its been a secondd since ive done a lore essay 🥀🥰#she wouldn’t know anything about that in regards to the lhysa + her brother relation and i yet to think about how she learns#maybe luca finds some things while they and the party traverse the necro#think a*vallachs laboratory in t*w3 ?? a buuunch of things about the line and oo irus name is mentioned in it 🥀👁️#emm is like a bestie so I think he may consult him first bc iru is prone to headaches due to the amnesia from the ritual(?)#lucanne -> luca and spite nosebleeds 🤝 iru and headaches from remembering her past 🥀🤧#shhhh the game is maybe a month away but that doesn’t slow down the brainrot didnhxgc#hopefully this isnt too ooc either im always nervous about these sorts but my GODD i cant wait i cant waitt AH.#i think i was half tempted to have her be raised as a city elf from birth but i found a way that the canon r*ook choice could work for iru!#that she was found there and then the ritual that altered her memories had her believing that she had been raised there since birth#at any cost to ‘save th*edas’ or something to the sisters but the cost was her life from before 🥀😖#the sisters is also a tentative name i forgot to mention bc i haven’t found a name i like yet 🥀🥴#i want them to be sort of like the lodge meets the b*ene g*esserit but make it ✨dragon game�� :))#okok im done yelling for now i think ifxhgxgx <3
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my bfb!gojo bfb!kenny and bfb!sugu r all so different but they’ve all been rotating in my brain microwave recently …….
#i keep thinking abt their parallels#and feelings towards reader…#IT’S SO .#hhhhh brother’s best friend my most beloved there r just . so many ways to do it….#bfb!gojo doesn’t love you back.#bfb!kenny is a freak and a weirdo and uses your feelings towards him to his advantage (he may or may not feel the same)#and sugu is . maybe the oddest of the three#he wants you to marry his sister because you’re the two most important people in his life and he wants you to be together#but he also wants you for himself .#idk my bfb!sugu au is kinda weird i’m super into it tho . weird tasty love triangle#(except it’s less of a competition and more you just. being claimed by a pair of siblings??)#making a whole oc for sugu’s sister and she’s so. fun i love her :(((#anyway im just. thinking abt them… i love them………#ari noises ✩
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Music I think Roy Kent likes and why
Madonna. In season 3, episode 3, Roy said, "[Pre-Madonna] means before Madonna, female vocalists didn't have to work that hard." This implies a great respect for Madonna and her craft. Also, it's an example of a very specific kind of queer guy misogyny that I find very humorous and implicative (of him being queer).
The Sex Pistols (and other punk rock). Two of their songs are in the Ted Lasso soundtrack. One of them specifically plays when Roy is about to do some pundit work for the first time. I think it's meant to be his hype up music. They're also, of course, anti-fascist and anti-monarchy, which I think Roy would vibe with. He's giving punk.
The music of the Muppets. Canonically (not that I necessarily consider this kind of thing canon, lol) a Muppets fan, I think he'd love the soundtracks to the movies, as well as the numbers they do on the original show.
Rap; Salt-n-Pepa, Queen Latifah, and Beyoncé. I just think he would like them. In season 1, episode 6, Keeley mentions that he has rapped, implying at least some interest in the genre.
Leonard Cohen. I think Roy's Jewish, and he's a broody, sensual bitch. It adds up perfectly. Sidenote: while "She's a Rainbow" by the Rolling Stones was a great choice for the song he runs home to football to, I think Cohen's "Ain't No Cure for Love" would've fucking slayyyed..."I loved you for a long, long time / I know this love is real / It don't matter how it all went wrong / That don't change the way I feel / And I can't believe that time is gonna heal / This wound that I'm speaking of" "I've got you like a habit / And I'll never get enough" "I don't need to be forgiven / For loving you so much"
Klezmer. Again, if Roy is Jewish, and we know he loves and misses his grandad...it's simple. He HAS a record player and a dope sound system, and on his shelves there ARE old klezmer records that he remembers dancing around to with his grandad in their old flat.
Amy Winehouse. Again, if Roy is Jewish, and we know he is broody and bitchy, it is a given. "Rehab" is his anthem when his knee gets bad and he is reluctant to treat it.
Disco; Donna Summer and Jessie Ware. It's just great workout music, and it slays, and if he's queer, well, yes, of course he likes disco.
Pop rock; Elton John and Queen. If he's queer...it's a given. I think he particularly likes "I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself" and "Rocket Man", as he is suicidal (I can't find the interview where Goldstein said this) (it's just Word of God anyway), and the most rocket man motherfucker ever.
The music of the people he loves; Led Zeppelin, Cream, Tina Turner, and Stevie Nicks. Phoebe, Keeley, and Jamie like these musicians. He's a caring uncle, boyfriend, and friend. He is listening and learning. Also, I think Phoebe would be into some weird stuff, like outsider music - maybe some Tiny Tim. I think Roy would also enjoy the music of other friends, from plenty of other genres.
#also. i rly disagree w the term outsider music but it gets the point across so yknow.#also i have this hc that he plays the drums bc his sister wanted to play music at some point and he was like ok i will play toys w u fine.#and she plays guitar :)#my posts#ted lasso#i also think he is maybe one of those celebrities who is multidisciplinary. so yes he has released a few eps. under a pseudonym ofc#then again i kinda think he's one of those guys who is really good at one thing and THINKS they suck at everything else. so like he happens#to play music around people every once in a while and they're like whatttt u r amazing? and he's like shut up i'm garbage. yeah#I ALSO THINK ROY IS RLY INTO BASEBALL. why? um. if u ask him he'll say some shit like 'i'm a fucking athlete ofc i follow other sports. no#it's not weird that it's not a very british thing. get the fuck out of my face.' the real answer is he watch a league of their own as a kid#purely for madonna and a special interest was born#inspired#roy kent#also! jamie is a HUGE music snob. i just know this to be true#like. the only musicians we've heard him mention (i think) are tina turner and stevie nicks. whenever roy grabs the aux and bumps madonna o#any music from this century he resists the urge to reach over and strangle him
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redownloaded an old art program
#specifically its tayasui memopad…#sketches was like borderline unusable last i redownloaded it#which was like.. oct last year#maybe its gotten better but i dont feel like bothering with it anymore haha#memopad i never used much aside from little scribble doodles (id make a scribble and try to turn it into something)#but its changed a lot since i last used it.. which was like four years ago so i cant be too surprised i guess XD#its still pretty jank but in a more manageable way . i missed rhe sketches brushes theyre very lovely#sorry for all the rambling haha#ive been feeling really shitty lately and have barely been able to draw it feels like#a lot of what i have made ive had to really.. force myself to get out. and i havent been as satisfied with it as id like to br#this is kind of janky still but i like it and i had fun making it#everytime i draw these two its exactly the same cuz i have to remind myself what their designs even were everytime >_<‘’#hopefully i do some more stuff today. its already getting late but im feeling a little better#getting back into the swing of things or whatever#i thought someone on af was ghosting me or whatever but turns out they were just . busy. ( <- figures i need to stop assuming haha) and#they also made this amazing revenge im absolutely in love with its so cute#really made my day =)#scribbles#furry tag#good god i write way too much in these#sorry#anyways#queueing this to post again (its the 14th as im writing this) i feel like that worked alright for me last time#im kinda making this post impulsively i am. constantly going back nd forth on whether i even like posting my art nowadays#oh well#yeah queue i wanna know#mother series#<- i forgot to tag that . for blog organization mostly these r just#nothing burger npcs barely anyone cares abt (nintens sisters lol)
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AMOUNT OF PEOPLE I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY GOTTEN INTERESTED IN HOMESTAR RUNNER: 4.
#yapping#WE ARE WINNING H*R NATION!!!#my sister and 2 friends were intrigued by certain characters which led to me showing them episodes with said characters#only for them to be a lot more into it than i thought theyd be#and one mutual on twitter just randomly dmed me that they watched some episodes without me even suggesting anything or introducing it 2 the#and im happy btw!!! but it surprises me because this mutual posts nothing but boys love and visual novels so them being interested in#homestar runner was surprising!!!#*looks at homestar and strong bad* well. ok. maybe we do also have boys love
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I finally figured out how to get into the Pentiment game files (after downloading five different extractor programmes lol) and decided to look through the glossary page marginalia that I ignored/missed on my first playthrough.
We all know our man Andreas is a cat fan, so it’s no surprise that there are quite a few drawn throughout the game. But there are also these two cats, which aren’t quite in keeping with the style of the others:
It’s a lovely piece of art, just like everything else in the game and now I can access the texture files I’m one step closer to making a sticker set for my laptop lol. But look at it for a bit longer and then tell me they don’t remind you of one of our fave Pentiment couples…
I think @mintymyths has mentioned before that some of the illustrated frogs share a likeness with Andreas — so I like to think that these animal cameos are a recurring artistic feature of his <3
#Just Master Artist Things™️#pentiment#pentiment spoilers#of a sort#You cannot convince me that these aren’t cat versions of Wojslav and Matilda#And if you can convince me then I don’t wanna hear it bc this is the cutest thing#I will admit though that I didn’t look at the marginalia much at all during the game#so maybe everyone has already noticed this lol#((If anyone is looking at that picture and wondering wtf im talking about —#the ears of the grey cat are reminiscent of Matilda’s headdress - and they share the aquiline nose and sharp cheekbones#whilst the lighter cat is round like wojslav and has the same blond wavy hair#But most importantly they r both in love <3 🥺🥹))#sister matilda#brother wojslav#ANYWAY guys it rly did take me so much time to work out how the game files worked lol so if anyone wants to know pls just ask#or happy to extract certain images / icons for people if they have any in mind
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been thinking about how asuna’s [spoiler] scene in the last chapter of idol sengen is oddly underwhelming in the volume version compared to the piccoma release?
i mean l i ke (spoiler reveal under the cut)—
idk if it’s just me but seeing it in colour made the scene hit harder somehow? in some way?
s o . im just. thinking ahead here but…
what if i tried to overlay the colour panel onto the page when i eventually tl it in a few months?
i’m not good at picture editing at all.
b u t still.
i kinda wanna try to go the extra mile for asuna anyway… hmmmmmmmmm…
#oh welllll. in the end that’s for future me to decide ig…#i’m not even sure if anyone would be interested in it anyway…#maybe i could pay someone to do it for me instead (<-has 0 connections)#hm. maybe i should’ve tried to socialise more in school. maybe i’d have met a p.shop guy or two lmao#oh well. ig it’s video tutorial time… maybe… i hope i don’t fall asleep~~~~ bc it’s for asuna….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#in any case!!!! my mind and productivity has been completely ruined by thoughts on my newfound doomed crackship of asuna x sena#like it’s a ship that could go wrong in so many ways (whether asuna gets with sena or not) and im just. ✨thoughts✨ yk???#i love the concept of rivals/enemies to lovers asumona but. like. asusena. yk.#like picture this: pov you just realised that your loving gf’s sister is the same newbie idol you’ve been unfairly antagonising and such#a n d knowing how strong sena’s sisterly love for mona is… yk??? doomed crackship is ✨doomed✨#aighhtttt ok im done with asuna thoughts for the day i s w e a r#(though ngl if they somehow end up giving asuna a cv and she somehow turns out to be ✨e m i t s u n✨ of honoka-chan fame (very unlikely)…)#(…i will pass on in ✨peace✨ idk i just think her powerful yet soothing voice would suit asuna (<-fell back into ll phase))#o k o k im done fr this time i s w e a r anyways stan asuna frusu ok bye
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i mean i guess im also a little hypocritical cuz i will get my cat literally any good animal protein that i can possibly find . nothing off limits like ill get her kangaroo if the kangaroo meat at the pet store is for a good price yk? except rabbit. i won’t feed my cat rabbit because my sister has a pet rabbit and that just feels disrespectful . my parents (funny enough not my sister) get very bothered by the idea of my cat eating rabbit meat because these pets are the closest they’ll ever get to grandchildren so like fair enough. but like its not inherently more wrong to feed a cat rabbit meat than it is to feed a cat duck or salmon meat? they just need predominantly meat in their diet and hopefully it’s obtained in a resource conscious way
#my posts#my parents r so bothered by the idea of rabbit meat for cat food#like they didn’t buy the rabbit blend for our dogs routinely . before my sister adopted a rabbit#it’s funny how that works.#for the record all the humans in the family (plus the rabbit) are vegetarian.#like the rabbit is vegan and the humans are vegetarian (sister is pesc maybe)#and i’d say im vegan but im having to regularly buy meat meat and im the only human in the family buying meat meat. for the cat lmao#also lmao. sister actually regularly makes jokes about feeding her rabbit to my cat it’s horrendous#(it comes from a place of love. just that the rabbit is a bit of a lard ass. because my grandparents keep giving the rabbit Too Many Fruits)
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#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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