#maybe the watermark is a little to strong?

[turbulentscrawl]

Some Body Type HCs

Hey ho!! I'm back (kinda maybe). Life has been really hectic, and frankly I just haven't had time to write much. BUT some of the friends I've made through IDV got me back to drawing, so now I have some headcanons WITH VISUALS for you. I'm putting this under the cut for partial nudity on the drawings.

(You'll have to forgive me for making it small and watermarking the hell out of it. I'm paranoid.)

Aesop

-Pale, and not a lot of body hair. Unlike some of the others, this is normal for him. He has trouble growing facial hair, which is a blessing for him because he hates having it almost as much as he hates having to shave.

-Aesop is averse to several textures, and this causes some issues for him at mealtimes. He's more of a grazer, as far as his eating habits go. He's underweight and a bit malnourished as a result of these, and so he has a slight hour-glass shape.

-He's very hyenic. He hates the feeling of lotion on his skin, but he uses good-quality soaps when he bathes, so his skin is fairly soft.

Emil

-Very hairy. (Full disclosure-this hc of mine was born partially as a spiteful counter to those in the fandom who tend to infantize him) Ada shaves his face and neck for him about once a week, but they don't bother with the rest of his body hair.

-Has quite a but of scarring under all that hair, too. His back, wrists, and legs have the worst of it, from old dog attacks and pulling against restraints.

-Not overly muscular, but he is a little stronger than average in the arms and core from his parkour-like hook maneuvering.

Luchino

-The growth of scales across his body have made his body hair sparse and inconsistent. He will still grow some on his chest and legs, but he shaves it off because he doesn't like the patchiness.

-He's health-conscious and, despite his busy schedule, still finds time to work out. He's muscular and lean due partially to this fact, as well as his ongoing mutations keeping his body fat percentages really low.

-For the same reason, aside from the areas with scale growth, Luchino's skin is well-kept. He uses many lotions and balms to ease the itching of said scales, so his entire body is well-moisturized and has a golden, dewy glow.

Norton

-The tallest survivor.

-Lean and lankey. He's strong, but still bulking up after years of near-starvation, so his muscle mass and body fat seem low.

-Has an average amount of body hair. His chest, legs, and arms all have a fair amount. (his head hair and pubes are much thicker) The burn scars left from the accident have prevented hair growth in certain areas of his body. He grows facial hair reasonably fast and has to shave at least every other week.

Andrew

-One of the tallest survivors.

-Vaguely dorito-shaped with broad shoulders. He's quite strong in general, as a result of years of hard labor like digging and throwing about coffins (and corpses). He has some body hair--but less than average--but it is thin and fine, so difficult to see without being up-close. The hair on his head is a bit thin too, he doesn't have much volume there.

-Very pale (obviously.) It's painfully obvious when he blushes--it goes all the way from his ears, down to his belly.

-He has some faint, scattered scarring just from accidents over the years. Nicking himself on sharp wooden edges, his own shovel, etc.

Luca

-Very thin. Luca hyperfocuses on work and forgets to eat a lot, and was malnourished during his time in prison. He's very physically weak.

-He grows very little body hair, and the hair on his head tends to be thin. Not many people know this, but he has a small bald patch from where he worries and pulls at his hair during moments of frustration.

-Has faint electrical scarring across his shoulders, chest, and back. Always has circles under his eyes due to his poor sleep schedule.

Naib

-Bulky and column-shaped. He's very lean and muscular from years in his various services. One of the shortest survivors (as well as one of the widest lol.)

-Covered in various scars. Life's been rough for him.

-He grows a fair amount of body hair, but he shaves it all off. This is something he does as a "leave-no-trace" sort of precaution for work, rather than as an actual preference. He's considered shaving his head, too, but he is a bit fond of his hair for personal reasons. The hair on his head is thick, but a bit dry. He doesn't always have the chance to use good products.

Victor

(My love for Victor has grown exponentially since I took my unintentional break. You heard it here, folks, I have new favorites. ask me about it lol)

-Has a fairly average, fit body type. He doesn't work out, specifically, but does a LOT of walking, running, and hiking so he's in good-standing with his cardio. He has a very slight softness around his tummy and arms, since his legs do the most of the work.

-Has a t-shirt tan from all his time outside. He's very rosey, too. Isn't that blush adorable?

-Has a very small amount of chest hair, and some on his legs. Similar to Andrew, his body hair is fine and difficult to see. He has trouble growing a beard--much to his holiday displeasure.

[arctophyllax]

I may hate Christmas but some people evidently don’t, so I bring to you:

Gifts the Tiefling Bachelors would give and like to receive on Christmas (+ Love Languages)

Zevlor

Love Language(s): Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation

Giving:

• definitely something practical

• warm clothing, protective armor

• maybe some nice books

• alcohol, if he knows that you like alcohol

• his gifts would be sweet and heartfelt

• he would invite you to join him for the evening, take you out for dinner or let you stay over and cook for you

• he would call you to the warm fireplace after eating and give you a messily wrapped gift and perhaps a kiss on the forehead

• he’s sweet, he’s soft, he tries to always give you nice things, like you deserve

• he knows that there was a time where he couldn’t afford giving you these nice things, but that only makes it all the more important to him to do it now

• he wouldn’t expect anything in return, but if you do give him something he will accept it with the most gentle smile and another sweet kiss

Receiving:

• I feel like he would enjoy getting something that reminds him of you

• you could give him the least expensive, silliest thing and he would still thank you for it, especially when it has something to do with who you are

• a piece of your clothing that has your perfume on it (he is a cuddler who will miss you when you’re gone and you can’t convince me otherwise)

• self-made necklaces and bracelets

• gift him a nice weapon, something he can use to protect you, to protect everyone he loved

• quality time.

• simply spend time with him, he will be so happy

———————

Dammon

Love Language(s): Gift Giving, Physical Touch, Acts of Service

Giving:

• you know what I’m about do say, do I even have to say it?

• he would gift you something he made, something you can use to protect yourself

• a weapon, armor, enchanted jewellery

• yes, rings

• he’s so sly, he will make you a nice weapon or a ring and carve in a little watermark

• is it to mark his work? Is it to mark you? You might never know

• books, he knows his way around books… he would pick up on your reading habits and gift you just the right thing

• might gift you something… suggestive. If you’re up for that

• again, quality time

• he’s the type to work even on christmas, but you’re the one person who can pull him away from his l work with one mere word

• would be content to spend the entire evening with you in his arms

• would assure you over and over again how much you mean to him

Receiving:

• if you’re an artist, gift him something you drew or painted

• if you’re a writer, you write him a story or a poem

• if you do any other crafts that require a certain degree of creativity, give him something you made

• inviting him for dinner is also on the table

• be extra affectionate and give him a ton of random kisses

• hang up mistletoes

• you won’t regret that one

• as with Zevlor, he would enjoy something that reminds him of you: clothing with your scent (this has innuendos), random things you found on your travels, trinkets and (non-enchanted) jewellery (of personal value, he likes knowing that you trust him with things that are of personal value to you)

• the obvious: materials (especially infernal ones)

———————

Rolan

Love Language(s): Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gift Giving

Giving:

• his presence

• magic shows, little lessons of him also teaching you some tricks

• magic, magic, magic, so much magic

• the type for handwritten letters

• careful, those handwritten letters are one of the only times in the year that he lets his sassy act down and is entirely honest — he probably wrote it drunk

• he would praise you in the letter, tell you how beautiful and strong you are, how much he liked you ever since you dared to tell him to stay at the grove

• alcohol, definitely the type to gift you the best alcohol he can find

• a dance (he’s classy like that)

• after act 3, invites you to Ramazith tower and shows you all the secrets and surprises he found (he’s very excited)

• also shows you his favourite books in the tower

Receiving:

• anything enchanted (this includes you)

• a letter in return to his

• food. Feed that man, he deserves it.

• sweet things, pretty Christmas cookies, build a gingerbread house with him (it’ll be chaotic)

• depending on how good you can cook, you can cook him a hearty stew, something with dark broth, soft meat and a little red wine in it to spice up the taste

• hug him

• he acts like he doesn’t enjoy being hugged but he absolutely does.

• and he NEEDS to be hugged

• tell him he’s precious

• take him to the Christmas market & hold his hand the whole time

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippet Thursday: Demolition Trio

The winning prompt for this week was "Demolition Trio: Jak's dog chooses violence" as a follow-up to last week's snippet where he got the dog. Don't worry, no animals were harmed in the making of this snippet. Errol got a little traumatized though.

"Here boy! C'mere!"

Jak bent and patted his knees, a wide, silly grin decorating his face.

With a growling, grumbly vocalization, the crocadog bounded out of the transport and leaped into the boy's waiting arms. Rip wriggled and panted happily, perfectly content to be held like a puppy by the unnaturally strong teenager. Jak laughed and stumbled back a step before finding his balance.

"Whoa!" He hefted the pup higher -- if he could outpace the average KG with a twenty pound ottsel on his shoulder, he could handle a hundred pound half-grown crocadog.

A high-pitched squeal caught both sets of ears, and Jak swiveled on one heel expectantly to see Tess standing on the quay with her hands clasped in front of her mouth. She bounced on her toes even as she directed two men with a trolley to carry Krew's newest shipment of alcohol inside the bar.

"Awww!! You didn't tell me you had a puppy!" Tess shouted across the landing platform.

Jak set Rip down and hooked the thin chain lead to his collar. It seemed overly fancy for a place like Haven -- a beautiful, patterned steel that looked like watermarked paper. "Silksteel", Damas called it, an alloy made from metalhead bodies and Precursor metal melted together in a crucible. Jak was pretty sure the dog's leash was legitimately the nicest thing he'd ever owned -- and maybe the only thing that wasn't a hand-me-down besides his gun.

"Hey, Tess!" Jak jogged across the walkway with Rip trotting along beside him. Once they'd stopped in front of Tess, the dog went on alert. Ears pricked, tail stiff, he shouldered between Jak and the girl with a low warning rumble.

"Hey, hey. Easy, Rip. Good boy."

Jak reached out and boldly took Tess’s hand. "Here, let him smell you so he knows you're a friend."

Tess was not wholly unfamiliar with dogs. She tucked her fingers into a loose fist and held them out for the young croc to sniff.

"Hey, bubba," she cooed, "Who's a good boy, huh? Is it you?"

"It is not," Daxter loudly interrupted as he finally caught up to Jak. "Jak, your demon dog befouled the air train! I had to pay extra fare for cleaning!"

Jak snorted. "Oops. My bad, I'll pay you back, Dax."

"Daxter!" Tess threw open her arms to scoop the ottsel into them. "Ooooh-! I missed you!"

If ottsels could have blushed, Daxter would have been the approximate color of a tomango. Seeing Short Master and Shorter Master so relaxed with Nice-Smelling Lady, the dog calmed immediately. He sat back on his haunches and decided after a moment that it wasn't fair that Daxter was getting all the love. Rip whined for attention, sticking his cold nose on Tess’s bare knee. Tess squeaked and jerked away, then burst out laughing.

"Awww aren't you the cutest puppy!"

For some reason, Jak couldn’t help feeling a little pride. He scrubbed his hand across Rip's ears and grinned. "Well, his runt brother is actually the cutest. Rip is pretty great, though."

Tess’s eyes narrowed to a laser focus. She had her suspicions that Jak was referring to the puppy that always followed the tiny Heir around. The Heir that Jak had kidnapped and refused to give up the location of. The Shadow was breathing down her neck to get information out of Jak before they lost their chance to open the Tomb. But she couldn't act on her suspicions here in the open! Even if Krew hadn't been in earshot, Jak would just deny it anyway.

What she needed was for Jak to actually trust her with...whatever it was he was doing. The younger teen seemed to be fighting his own private war solo, only working with the Underground or Krew when he felt like it.

"No dogs allowed!" Krew barked from the doorway of the saloon. "This is a pub, not a kennel, eh?"

"Dog? What dog?" Sig's voice floated past him.

"The brat brought a crocadog from his latest hunting excursion," Krew sniffed. "People don't pay to see normal animals on my wall, you know, even if they are dangerous."

He shook his folding fan at the boys.

"That trophy had better be in mint condition or you can turn right around and stay out until you bring me something better!"

Daxter rolled his eyes from Tess’s arms. "Relax, hoverboy. Mr. MacPooch down there helped us bag a ramhead before he was even house-trained!"

"He is house-trained, though," Jak added hastily.

It couldn't have been more obvious that something had changed about Jak when he widened his eyes and hit Krew with a forlorn, innocent look.

"You don't mind if I put him up in the bar loading bay, right?"

Before Krew could answer, Jak shifted his weight and channeled just the tiniest hint of dark eco into his eyes, enlarging his pupils. He rubbed his arm, mimicking Mar's usual method for getting Damas to agree to something.

"I just don't want him running loose, y'know? The Guard are really bad about hunting civilian pets for kicks, and- and I really didn't want to have to gut a whole squad today."

There was something deeply unsettling about Jak putting on the guise of a vulnerable, worried kid while casually discussing mass carnage. Krew stared at the youngest "employee" on his roster. Well, "intern" was more accurate. He paid the brat in food and gun upgrades -- and the latter was only because Sig insisted and it wasn't wise to overly antagonize one's bodyguard. He'd never been a "dog person", himself.

Before his racing injury, he used to promise his daughter he'd bring her all kinds of pets to make up for his constant absence. Terrakeets, cabbits, dogats- he'd even sent her a jer-boa once. (That had been an unmitigated disaster, leading to his ex-wife calling to scream at him when the fuzzy legged-snake decided to constrict and consume a neighbor's hip-hog.)

Dogs had never once been on the list.

Krew curled his lip. "You're lucky I like you, Jak," he groused. "Get that thing in the back before someone reports us to the health inspector!"

He started to float back to the bar, then turned.

"And don't do that face again! It's upsetting!"

Jak snorted, and in an instant his old demeanor was back. "Sure, sure."

Tess followed Krew in, directing the last of the bottle delivery, and grimaced when she noticed a particular patron waiting at the bar.

Errol.

"Champion Commander Erol Errol", as he always bragged to her.

She suspected his parents had not been especially creative people.

His swaggering bravado and complete failure to understand that someone could willingly cross him made him a decent source of intel, but Tess had hidden in sewers that made her feel less slimy than she did every time she played Cute Barmaid with Errol.

Her personal feelings aside, she knew Errol had done something to Jak. Something bad. The man was allergic to keeping his mouth shut if anyone brought Jak up. He was both sadistic and obsessed - a dangerous combination.

And Jak was about to walk in and see him.

Tess squeezed Daxter in a silent cue to go warn the boy, but it was too late. A low, almost subsonic rumbling began to fill the room, vibrating the floorboards. The dog had clearly picked up on his master's sudden tension. Rip's eyes were fixed on the commander, lips slowly peeling back to reveal dozens of jagged teeth. Beside him, Jak had gone still, eyes cold. He quietly, deliberately, dropped the leash. But this time there was no fear in his reaction.

Daxter patted Tess’s arm. "It's okay, babe," he whispered, "Demon Dog won't let the Tattooed Wonder try anything funny."

Honestly, he was amazed by how much the dog boosted Jak's confidence. Maybe that was why Mar was so terrifyingly fearless?

"Hey Sig, I thought Krew said no dogs allowed!" Jak said loudly.

Tess tensed. Kid, don't-!

"You better let Praxis know his mutt wandered in here."

Outrage wiped the smug look right off of Errol's face. He lurched off the barstool and pasted on a condescending coo.

"Well isn't that sweet. The freak found his long-lost twin."

He took a meaningful step forward, and his fingers brushed against the wicked hunting knife on his belt. "Maybe this one will respond better to obedience tra-"

He didn't get a chance to finish the sentence before Rip was on him.

Tess leaped to the side with a shriek that didn't even come close to matching the shrill sound coming out of the commander. He sounded like a wounded rabmouse-

Probably because his entire head was currently inside the crocadog's mouth.

"Not on my freshly waxed floors, Cherry!" Sig complained, "C'mon!"

Secretly, he hoped the puppy would just bite down. Hard. But Krew was afraid of Errol's influence and Sig knew it. Best to put on a facade.

Jak watched Errol flail and try to pry Rip's mouth open for a few seconds with the kind of detached curiosity generally reserved for particularly strange looking insects. But when he heard the whine of Krew's hoverchair returning, he finally intervened.

"Rip! Drop it!" he commanded.

Rip did not drop it.

"Come on, pal. I told you not to eat garbage! Spit it out!"

Reluctantly, the croc opened his half-shut jaws and delicately spat the commander's head out. He looked sorely put-out by the loss of his prey, and grumbled reproachfully at Jak. Errol thudded to the floor, dripping with thick drool and finally understanding what it meant to have one's life flash before one's eyes. His hand inched toward his knife as he desperately hoped the croc wouldn't notice his movement.

"Rip, heel."

Jak made a hand signal and the huge dog left his prey to take up a guard stance in front of his human. Jak wrapped the end of the lead around his glove and stroked the dog's back.

"Good boy, Rip! Good boy!"

Mollified, Rip let his tail thump happily against Jak’s legs. Well, if Short Master said he was A Good Boy, maybe it was okay that he didn't get to Crunch the sickly smelling Red Thing this time.

Daxter's ears drooped. "Awww, I wanted to see if KG really do run around for a couple seconds after they lose their heads," he joked.

He and Jak both knew he would have been violently ill if this had actually happened.

"Aw where's the fun in that?" Jak retorted, "Just four witnesses? Nah man, it's gotta be the Stadium. We're gonna pulverize him in front of thousands. That'll be way more memorable."

He casually stepped over Errol's prone body, secure for once in the knowledge that the man couldn't hurt him.

Not if he wanted to keep all his body parts.

He paused and crouched next to the wide-eyed man's head.

"Next time, I won't be there to save you, commander," he murmured, "Tread lightly. And try not to run. Crocs love it when you run."

Jak stood and patted his thigh, and Rip bounced over Errol -- one paw landing in the middle of his stomach as he went. "Alright, Rip, let's get you settled. If you're good, I'll bring you some metalhead scraps. Sound good?"

"WURF."

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that."

Errol stayed on the floor, staring at the ceiling, for a full four minutes after that.

It wasn't hard for Tess to convince Krew that he'd consumed more than his share of liquor, or to convince him to eject the man from the bar until he could "pay" his "tab".

She made a face.

"Remind me to keep some chew toys around here," she whispered to Daxter. "I don't want Rippy getting any ideas about my rifles."

[inventors-fair]

The Winning Phase ~

Congratulations to @evscfa1​, @helloijustreadyourpost​ and @i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ for winning this week’s contest!

@evscfa1​ — Teferi, Chronal Master

It’s rare that a planeswalker makes it into this spot. Well, congratulations on the double, then! This card’s pretty darn good. I like the complex use of that Commander sphinx’s rules text in the emblem for sure; it’s not hard to get to and it’s really neat to see. I have the feeling that that -4 is going to be really annoying, to the point of, in commander, a control player being able to go “Nobody gets combat for the rest of the game”—except that it targets, so that’s nice, and getting a proliferate engine is hard enough, so maybe it’s not so bad!

Overall, a well-rounder defensive planeswalker who doesn’t generate card advantage but who is sufficiently controlly for the kind of game plan that the most annoying U/W players want to have. Honestly, the fact that there isn’t any card advantage really is a weight, but that’s modern Magic for you. Why do I feel the need to make that comparison? Ah well. 

NOTE: “Non-land” should be “nonland.” See earlier post.

@helloijustreadyourpost​ — Motion to Dismiss

Firstly: card’s good, you’re in the winner’s circle, feel good about that. We cool? Okay. I’m still not 100% feeling the impact of the flavor text and I’m trying to figure out immediately why. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t start out like that, but I think it says something that the rest of the card is so strong in the right matchup and/or format, that it’s a fascinating little slice of life that I’m on board with, and I guess overall it’s a lesson in impact. I want just a little more context for this, and perhaps art direction could have pushed it over, because the flavor text relies on a moment for pithiness that’s aiming for specificity, and I feel we’re so close! It’s the strength of the rest of the card that makes me want to get my instruments out and tune this lil’ thing.

This is an absolute banger of a card, though, and I wonder how many people are going to be mad with it. The way that you can formulate a limited game so that, knowing your opponents’ responses, you’ll have all the means of getting to a point where it lands solidly—that’s kinda raw. It’s in the courts, which I feel is awesome, and I’m a fan of the way that you used a common name and turned it magical with the watermark/worldbuilding. Perhaps a little bit of distinguishing from Cancel would’ve been nice in the base ability, but there’s nothing wrong with how it is now. It’s definitely Cool with a capital C, and not a capital offense.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Sympathetic Torturer

I have no notes. Seriously! No places I can find significant places to improve this card! It’s a balance-happy beast of a flier, balanced by the pips and the tax, a classic black card that still abides by the swinginess expected of creatures. Land this on turn three, and you’ll be getting this back and forth with a little extra to go around. In limited, you’ll have an extra race each turn, adjusting your opponent’s interaction with your board each and every one of your turns. In constructed and especially Commander, you’ll be making friends and enemies alike. I especially like how the upkeep trigger is enough to make your combat step so much more pressuring; it creates a feeling of dread whenever they pass the turn.

Flavor’s simple enough to make the irony of the name and art direction stand out perfectly. The name adds a degree of dark humor, the art shows the irony in action, the abilities exemplify the way the art’s motions are carried out tangibly, and the flavor text ties back to the name to tie a nice little loop. Simplicity in context makes all the difference.

Runners and general nonsense will be soon enough! Depends on how late I get up, considering that this is a queued post. Regardless, thank you all.

- @abelzumi​

[cimmerian1275]

That whole year in review/summary of art!!

My best stuff of 2024 💖

Since im pretty new here, im a little shy to share previous art :^ i might someday but aaaauuuuhg- the fear of AI and ppl stealing do be strong (and i might be a little lazy cough cough)

Maybe soon, or someday, idk? I shouldnt worry too much my stuffs always watermarked and i rarely share the full files.

BUT; if your super curious ive progressively shared everything i draw on DeviantArt - https://www.deviantart.com/cimmerian1275/gallery/all (DA is kinda dying for ppl like me, so im feeling around for a new site to share ��️)

[a-captions-blog]

[Plain text: As an autistic person, I react too strongly to the little things and not strongly enough to the big things… \End PT]

[Image descriptions: Squares of text with the watermark @neurodivergent_lou. Long transcriptions follow. As an autistic person, I react too strongly to the little things and not strongly enough to the big things… As an autistic person, I sometimes find that I process and react to emotions differently to non-autistic people. This includes reacting (what is seen as) ‘too strongly’ to the little things. E.g. crying over temporarily losing car keys or not being able to selep due to worring about the tone of voice someone used to speak to me two days ago. On the other hand, we may be seen as not responding ‘strongly enough’ to the big events. For example, not reacting ‘strongly enough’ to life events (e.g. people passing away, moving school, losing a job etc.) Autistic people sometimes experience a delayed processing of emotions meaning that we might not process emotions immediately. It might take days, weeks, months or even years to recognise and process how we feel in response to situations, particularly perhaps to the bigger more life changing events. It may be that we are seen to underreact at the time, but then are hit with strong emotions later on. Similarly, autistic people may process emotions differently to non-autistic people. Often autistic people struggle with alexithymia which involves difficulty recognising and identifying our emotios. This can make identifying and processing emotions more difficult. We may not have identified the emotion that we are experiencing and therefore seem to have ‘no emotional reaction’ to a big life event. It may take us longer for us to emotionally process. Similarly, autistic people may thrive on logic and go into a practical or logical mode where we focus on coping with the practical situation or understanding the logics behind it, without necessarily processing the associated emotions. I find that on the other hand, I tend to be particularly sensitive to the everyday things which build up and cause overwhelm or distress. For example, I get incredibly overwhelmed by sensory input in the environment, by miscommunication or by being misunderstood, losing my things and by change. Lots of these things relate to my experiences as an autistic person. Focusing specificially on miscommunication as a trigger for strong emotions, as an autistic person, I often struggle to accurately communicate the message that I am trying to convey, especially with non-autistic people. Due to the inherent differences in my communication, I am often misunderstood in conversation. Over time, this has made me feel very anxious about being misinterpreted. It often makes me overthink interactions too. As we may respond differently to emotions, it can be difficult for other people to understand. It may be assumed that we are being ‘over-dramatic’ when we respond strongly to the little things or we may be seen as ‘not caring’ when we don’t respond ‘strongly enough’ to a big life event. We may worry about how we react to things too, feeling like maybe we are responding ‘wrongly’. \End transcriptions]

As an Autistic Person, I react too strongly to the little things and not strongly enough to the big things...

Neurodivergent_lou

[baekhvuns]

Bestie I didn't even watch that Arsenal x Man City game, but London is still red, Arsenal is 1st 🤗 you shouldn't have laughed at me too much. Kane in Bayern? Lmao I mean you're right, he's not gonna get anything with Tottenham kqjsjajsjsjwjdhhwhwjw. Did Jongho go and see their game btw?

Aston Villa who hehehe. There are so many London clubs though it's crazy! That's why I have two fave clubs, one that gives me joy (though not recently) pretty often and another which is 📈📉📈📉 😭 best believe I was in shambles when Arsenal and Madrid played together. Maybe it's good Arsenal is out ot CL. Yeah Liverpool sadly...💀 I like Man Utd too, never cared for City and never will jsjajshsjissbaahhshsje

Omfg you're right Hwa at the pop up was giving model, brand ambassador 😭

That selfie sign?! Kpop stans can't be normal. Also how do some people have the time to watermark and post their stuff during the concert?! Have some fun??? Unless it's the serial concert goers, they don't care anymore, just need some clout on the bird app

LSM created SM and he might destroy it now with all the lawsuits, I mean... fair tbh, except he needs to be in jail 🔫 not to mention Kakao is at the scene of the crime as well, guess they're a better option than Hybe tho. The fucking video they released??? This is war for real

I'm so sorry Baek idk why artists are allergic to Vancouver? When I saw Tamino's Canada dates I was like "omg what a coincidence, what if he comes to Baek City" but alas :/

Pon de Replay what an icon. I don't think I genuinely know any ASAP song, but it's because I don't know most mainstream songs, boomer <3 so, sorry to that man. I don't think Riri's tickets were that expensive, also her last tour was 2000 years ago 😭 speaking of Bey, she's like the opposite of Rihanna. Don't really vibe with her music, but she can put on an amazing and well-produced show

I honestly get seeing idols around, because I literally saw some ex-Wanna One members in a cafe two days ago ❤ but chasing them or purposely going to places you can spot them 🔪 (giving Oil London stalking Jimin vibes)

I eat tteokbokki pretty regularly, so it wasn't that much of a difference, they were semi-spicy, but good. Korean food is spicier than Japanese, but I still need more heat sometimes 🔥

A lot of people dislike season 4 of You, but it's funny cause it's all London and posh Brits, absolutely insufferable lmao. The tone is different, but as a whodunnit fan I ate it up! I'm looking forward to part 2, because it looks a bit more interesting.

Wish we looked that cute

Ah that's not the mushroom head I dislike, he's cute, but I was thinking of this still adorable, because it's Hwa...

M🍙pe what is this behaviour oeiwhisjswjjw tbh I hate this type of magicians, but come on. Unless it was all scripted he needs to smile a little

I was about to send you that white shirt Hwa video, amazing how I generally don't care for shirts or suits, but when it's Seonghwa......

I'm devastated Baeksy! No more "Ddeong-ppear" no more wholesome, unhinged, sweet and random stories and selfies 🤧🤧🤧🤧 I sincerely believe some idols are sad Universe is gone as well. Nooooo leave Bubble alone at least. Devastation, head in hands etc...

Fencing makes you rich??? Idk about that I trained in a shitty community centre. Ok trained is a big word, I did it for a few months only, because it was the closest thing I could get to sword fighting 😭

Oh god, see I'd be happy to see the Cursed Child movie, but anything connected to R*wl*ng is trash to me now </3 ruined everything for me, that stupid bitch

Hello he's so silly and let me lint roll you sir

Brb, breaking into that store

What would you do if you were stuck in a lift with this guy?

I found this account... accidentally and Hwa is all over it 😭 not really into armpits, but Hwapits... maybe, the agenda is really strong - DV 💖

hello! ITS ON SIGHT ANON ON SIGHT 🔫

Bestie I didn't even watch that Arsenal x Man City game, but London is still red, Arsenal is 1st 🤗 you shouldn't have laughed at me too much. Kane in Bayern? Lmao I mean you're right, he's not gonna get anything with Tottenham kqjsjajsjsjwjdhhwhwjw. Did Jongho go and see their game btw?

u waited till u SQW THE CHANGE AND THEN CAME BACK HERE TO SAY THIS 🔫🔫 tbh i be cursing man city bc they didn’t let alvarez play <3 MADE A LITTLE CHART FOR ARSENALS SHIT STREAKING I AM DETERMINED THAT PEP WILL PLAY HIS WAY INTO THOSE 2 POINTS no but srs this is actually shit 😭😭 not even as a rival but what is this 😭😭😭

koreans and their spurs relationship will never disappoint 😭😭 at least they won!

Aston Villa who hehehe. There are so many London clubs though it's crazy! That's why I have two fave clubs, one that gives me joy (though not recently) pretty often and another which is 📈📉📈📉 😭 best believe I was in shambles when Arsenal and Madrid played together. Maybe it's good Arsenal is out ot CL. Yeah Liverpool sadly...💀 I like Man Utd too, never cared for City and never will jsjajshsjissbaahhshsje

no bc they won against spurs im not HEARING ANYTHING 🤚🏻 the only good player they got is emi martinez <3 NOO THERE ARE SO MANY AND FOR WHAT WHY DO U GOT A LEEDS? FULHAM? WHO ASKED 🔫 no bc it’s the same for me, tho barca doesn’t disappoint THEYRE doing quite good atm, psg…at least they won 😭😭 see ARSENAL PLAYS SHIT, it would’ve been embarrassing,, saw the liverpool v madrid game today, why do madrid perform better in champions league than in la liga 😭😭

Omfg you're right Hwa at the pop up was giving model, brand ambassador 😭 /// That selfie sign?! Kpop stans can't be normal. Also how do some people have the time to watermark and post their stuff during the concert?! Have some fun??? Unless it's the serial concert goers, they don't care anymore, just need some clout on the bird app

WASNT HE! EXACTLY! 😭😭 the closest we’ll get to it for now,, the self promo i respect it bUT how about we all go for having fun! and music! rather than wanting a yn moment! NOOO UR RIGHT HOW DO THE FANSITES DO THAT SO FAST like do ur even enjoy the concert atp bc half the time ur on the camera and then u edit it on ur laptop 😭😭

LSM created SM and he might destroy it now with all the lawsuits, I mean... fair tbh, except he needs to be in jail 🔫 not to mention Kakao is at the scene of the crime as well, guess they're a better option than Hybe tho. The fucking video they released??? This is war for real

bestie…i have absolutely no words this is,, can we even enjoy music now with this looming issue of this company possibly disbanding everyone sm artists at least go to south america, vancouver, europe sometimes and south east asia now with them taking over we’re only getting usa and a toronto tour from now on AND AT LEAST SM’S TICKETS WERE A LITTLE CHEAP BUT THIS 😭😭😭 GONNA BE A NIGHTMARE 😭😭😭 but they’re already doing very well??? 😭😭 need u to visit hybe and have some words with them 🤨 taking credit for their success ofc

I'm so sorry Baek idk why artists are allergic to Vancouver? When I saw Tamino's Canada dates I was like "omg what a coincidence, what if he comes to Baek City" but alas :/

it’s never my turn to be happy never

Pon de Replay what an icon. I don't think I genuinely know any ASAP song, but it's because I don't know most mainstream songs, boomer <3 so, sorry to that man. I don't think Riri's tickets were that expensive, also her last tour was 2000 years ago 😭 speaking of Bey, she's like the opposite of Rihanna. Don't really vibe with her music, but she can put on an amazing and well-produced show

I KNEW SHE CHANGED WHEN SHE DIDNT INCLUDE PON DE REPLAY IN HER TRACKLIST, SHE DID KISS IT BETTER BUT NOT THAT SONG??? not the same girlie i tell u,, every ask im reminded ur a boomer <3 with inflation i just know they’d reach 1K $$ i like beyonce’s music that’s like title track worthy,, crazy in love is def top tier,, she really does! that dubai (?) one was crazy!

I honestly get seeing idols around, because I literally saw some ex-Wanna One members in a cafe two days ago ❤ but chasing them or purposely going to places you can spot them 🔪 (giving Oil London stalking Jimin vibes) /// I eat tteokbokki pretty regularly, so it wasn't that much of a difference, they were semi-spicy, but good. Korean food is spicier than Japanese, but I still need more heat sometimes 🔥

now.. 😭😭😭 this is pretty uncomfy 😭😭 oooo no way!!! who were they? was it mr ong bc im about to ask u to yell @ him for an album,, AHHHH hope u ate loads AND DRANK WATER SO UR BLOOD IS NOT JUST TTEOKBOKKI 🔫🔫

A lot of people dislike season 4 of You, but it's funny cause it's all London and posh Brits, absolutely insufferable lmao. The tone is different, but as a whodunnit fan I ate it up! I'm looking forward to part 2, because it looks a bit more interesting.

AHHHH the jokes must be more for the uk-ers than for the americans, no wonder they dislike it 😭😭 UR RIGHT THAT TROPE IS ALWAYS GOOD, idk if u have watched it but love wedding repeat is a must!! the classic british romcom with an EXTRA amount of comedy and chaos very exquisitely filmed in italy and circling around a wedding! the way i laughed during the movie but then again i laugh at anything but this was really good! 100% rec the low ratings do NOT DO IT JUSTICE AT ALL!

me 2 minutes into this movie actually

Wish we looked that cute /// Ah that's not the mushroom head I dislike, he's cute, but I was thinking of this still adorable, because it's Hwa...

seonghwa needs to be sponsernd by pantene bc that hair volume is insane,, HEY THATS NOT THAT BAD ANON 🔫🔫

M🍙pe what is this behaviour oeiwhisjswjjw tbh I hate this type of magicians, but come on. Unless it was all scripted he needs to smile a little /// I was about to send you that white shirt Hwa video, amazing how I generally don't care for shirts or suits, but when it's Seonghwa......

no yeah they can be a little annoying but every psg player at the party was all funsies with him but he’s a haha, strange lil guy,, has to be the only one hA HA. RHWKHDKW BUT WHEJ ITS SEONGHWA,, I MUST SAY I AM A SUCKER FOR SUITS ON MEN AND SEONGHWA IS ON TOP OF THE LIST FBWKDHWK what the fuck

I'm devastated Baeksy! No more "Ddeong-ppear" no more wholesome, unhinged, sweet and random stories and selfies 🤧🤧🤧🤧 I sincerely believe some idols are sad Universe is gone as well. Nooooo leave Bubble alone at least. Devastation, head in hands etc...

Fencing makes you rich??? Idk about that I trained in a shitty community centre. Ok trained is a big word, I did it for a few months only, because it was the closest thing I could get to sword fighting 😭

THE WAY THEYRE ALL SO DRAMATIC AND CONSTANTLY LEAVING MESSAGES 😭😭😭no more internet breaking selfies from them all,, no yeah i bet they’re pretty mad about it too bc now they gotta move to bubble and HYBE WANTS TO MERGE IT 🔫🔫🔫 ur are rich. coNVINCED ACTUALLY! WITH THE AMOUNT OF JOBS U HAD BESTIE UR ROLLING IN THE POUNDS or € whichever one u use <3

Oh god, see I'd be happy to see the Cursed Child movie, but anything connected to R*wl*ng is trash to me now </3 ruined everything for me, that stupid bitch /// Hello he's so silly and let me lint roll you sir

no bc i don’t even care what she says im just here for the movies and the cast 😭🤚🏻want to feel nostalgic and hear the hogwarts ost’s in the theatres bc i kNOW ITS GOING TO BREAK US ALL,,, u know some times seonghwa acts like he’s straight out of the 90’s grease and is named soda pop

Brb, breaking into that store /// What would you do if you were stuck in a lift with this guy? /// I found this account... accidentally and Hwa is all over it 😭 not really into armpits, but Hwapits... maybe, the agenda is really strong - DV 💖

ANOM TAKE THE PINK ONE IM HUNTING FOR THE WHITE ONE,, see now, the first thing my mind went to after seeing that lift video is that one model hwa scene <3 will log out now! NOT INTO ARMPITS BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE USE TO GEY THEM SO SMOOTH WHAT THE FUCK

ur sign to read model hwa

ANONFBJQHDKWHDKW that was me actually i took a flight to barcelona

not this guy acting like he’s in love with him AFTER ALMOST ENDING HIS LIFE FOR OVER A DECADE

i have to share this bc i spent the last hour laughing at this with tears streaming down my face

[flowerscentedartist]

Mer-Skele Olive

Spotted Sea Horse

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (July 25/2021) - The Wilburger Ranvan

Wilbur comes up with his new calling: selling burgers in a burger van! At Phil’s suggestion, Wilbur teams up with Ranboo to do so, setting up their new business on the outskirts of Las Nevadas.

A brief summary of the week’s total events can be found at the end of the post.

---

VOD LINKS:

Wilbur Soot

Captain Puffy

BadBoyHalo

---

- Wilbur and Phil hang out in the Arctic. Wilbur has a proposition for Phil

- He says he met up with Quackity and it was a nice time. The one conclusion he came to is that Quackity is very resourceful

Wilbur: “As much as I may disagree with your views on anarchy, I must say, it’s pretty harmless. I -- I can’t hate you for it. I can’t hate you for enjoying literally living in a peaceful little village in the snow, I mean the server’s never been this peaceful since -- since all the countries and nations and cities and everything is gone. So Phil, I came to you with one question, one question...do you think Quackity should be allowed to be left unchecked?”

- Phil says no. The issue is, there’s no government, no police force. What Techno’s done is left a power vacuum and now Quackity’s come in with an unethical establishment, gambling...

- Wilbur wants to make a burger van

- They get interrupted by an Enderman ascending from the basement

- He knows there’s a bit of déjà vu, but the difference is that the burger van isn’t going to sell drugs this time. He wants every steak to have a name

- He’s done with being a source of authority, a president. His calling is just burgers, no ulterior motives

- Phil knows someone who would help out: Ranboo. The richest, most knowledgable man on the server, and he’s run out of things to do on the server

- Wilbur doesn’t want to play with Ranboo, but Phil threatens to kick him out if he doesn’t so he does, annoyed at being treated like a child

- Wilbur gives Ranboo his proposition

Wilbur: “I like to think, you know, let bygones be bygones, let’s bury the hatchet, let’s be -- Ranboo I’m gonna go out on a limb here...do you wanna be friends?”

- His next progression, after being a dead-terrorist-president...is to be a chef. Ranboo is onboard 

- They start walking over. Wilbur asks if Ranboo’s heard of Las Nevadas, and Ranboo mentions their abandoned cookie post that was causing trouble. He wants to create competition for Quackity’s business. Eventually, maybe Quackity will have to make a deal with them, maybe even be their friend

- Ranboo wants to keep it respectful. Wilbur assures him that they already has the land necessary

- Wilbur wants to pick Ranboo’s brain and asks his thoughts on Quackity. Ranboo says he just hasn’t seen him in so long. Their last interaction before everything else happened was just that they were in the same cabinet of New L’manburg

- Wilbur didn’t know that Ranboo was part of L’manburg’s government

- Wilbur asks if he dislikes anyone. Ranboo says not too much, just people that he doesn’t agree with. Everyone is just a product of what they’ve gone through, so if you understand that, you understand the person

- If you align yourself with everyone, isn’t that more complicated? Ranboo says that’s why he’s just been living with Phil and Techno away from everything, trying not to involve himself in much, but he has a terrible radar on what’s involving himself and what isn’t

Wilbur: “What about Dream?”

Ranboo: “Well that’s -- well, with Dream it’s kind of like...all I’ve heard of Dream, all I’ve seen with Dream is just been like the really bad things that he’s done and everything, so I would say that I -- yeah, I don’t really like Dream, but I mean, he’s also not really someone that it matters whether or not I like him ‘cause he’s just away in that prison for a really long time, so I mean...”

Wilbur: “No trial?”

- They reach their competition and go into the fast food restaurant

- He peeks into the casino, but holes it back up. This building doesn’t benefit the consumer

- Wilbur places down some signs insulting Quackity’s burger place, guaranteeing those signs will never leave since they don’t care about the customer

- Wilbur shows Ranboo his area, which he's thinking of naming “Paradise.” Ranboo says it could be a neat play on words...pair-of-dice

- Wilbur and Ranboo decide to make the place red and white, retro-themed. Ranboo gives Wilbur Ranord and Wilbur goes off to gather some red

- Wilbur likes Tubbo since he’s strong-headed and doesn’t let people push him around

- Ranboo says when you can’t change someone’s mind, it’s no use to needlessly argue. Wilbur points out that Ranboo seems to be a bit more dynamic than a purely neutral, peaceful force. He’s somehow appeared in almost every conflict the server’s had since Wilbur died

- Ranboo says it’s because he’s bad at discerning things, but he’s been doing alright with his situation recently. He wants to help people, and sometimes he lets that desire to help people get in the way of what he says about himself

Wilbur: “Ranboo...why did you help to help me?”

- Ranboo needed something to do, and he also thought that Wilbur’s an alright person, so he wants to get off on a better foot because he doesn’t like having people not like him

- Wilbur asks why he doesn’t think Wilbur’s a bad person. Ranboo says he did bad things, but also went through things that made him that way and now he’s changed as a person since he died. He’s optimistic in that

Wilbur: (sniffs) “Good, uh...that’s nice. Thank you. Uh...I think I needed to hear that.”

Wilbur: “Can I be real with you man? ...I think I scare people.”

Ranboo: “I mean...yeah, I do the same thing.”

Wilbur: “No, not in -- no no, I mean I...I don’t think I...I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to -- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.”

- He demolished Jack Manifold’s house twice, he completely ignored him in the war, and what it took for Jack to forgive Wilbur was just a sorry. 

Wilbur: “And I know -- I’ve spoken to Tommy about Jack Manifold! And Jack Manifold is not the sort of person to forgive someone like that with a sorry! Imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold! What’s Dream done to Jack Manifold, huh? Barely anything! I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you know why? Because DREAM’s in prison, and I’m not!

“Dream is -- he’s had his comeuppance and I’ve not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for these people! They’re just waiting! Waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on them -- Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo, I’m different. I’m not Dream...god, I wish I was! Sometimes I wish, I wish I’d gotten that comeuppance but Ranboo, I’m not Dream. And I’m not gonna be Dream, and that’s...”

“I’m living in eternal Limbo...again. I’ve been through Limbo. I’m out of Limbo. And socially, I’m still in this Limbo, and man, Ranboo, hearing you say those words that you said to me? Do you remember what you said?”

Ranboo: “Y-yeah, I do?”

Wilbur: “You said...(sniffs) I think people can change, that’s number one. And number two, you said you’re scared that people don’t like you.”

- He tells Ranboo that they’re kindred. They have the same neuroticism, their strongest point. But anxiety is not their downfall. Wilbur’s parents are alive because they were anxious and didn’t let anything take them down

- Ranboo says they’re both thinkers. They may think in different ways, but they think at the same level

Wilbur: “I think you might be a bit braver than me in showing your true colors. I feel like with you, Ranboo, I never have to be guessing your next move. I never have to be guessing your hand, you know? I feel like life dealt us the same cards, and the difference is you build your trust by showing people your cards whilst I keep them close to my chest, and I feel like that might be the big difference.”

- He asks Ranboo what he feels about thievery. He’s going to steal Las Nevadas’ cows to make into burgers

- Ranboo makes some concrete and starts building the van. Wilbur rides off on a horse looking for some sheep

- Wilbur asks Ranboo about Tubbo and Ranboo talks a bit about Snowchester. Wilbur thought Techno was successful at getting rid of all the nations, but Ranboo says it’s not a nation. Wilbur doesn’t know about Kinoko Kingdom either

- Wilbur gets to the spider farm, which has Kanye West in it

- He heads back and they discuss names like Paradise or Wilburger

- Wilbur asks Ranboo’s opinion on Tommy and Ranboo thinks he’s great. Tommy’s gone through a lot, but it’s made him a good person. 

Wilbur notes that he seems to think that everyone’s gone through something. Ranboo says yes, the only bad people are those who are evil without a reason why, but there’s not many people like that

- Wilbur names the first burger “Wilburger Vol. 1″ and puts a watermark on it

- Wilbur wants to ask Ranboo one last make-or-break question

- Chat suggests the “Wilburger Ranvan” and they like it

- They go to Quackity’s restaurant and Wilbur wants Ranboo to smash the windows. Ranboo does

- Wilbur goes inside and places TNT. He hands Ranboo the lighter and tells him to detonate it

- Ranboo does so. Wilbur tells Ranboo to go back to the van. He’s passed the test

Wilbur: “Ranboo, I’m proud of you man. You’ve -- you’ve taken a side.”

- Wilbur goes back and places a sign at the crater:

---

***** Wilbur + Ranboo  Did this together

*****

---

“I love that guy.” (laughs) “I love that guy.”

END OF WEEK RECAP:

7/19 - Nothing much happens.

7/20 - Sapnap and George speak with Mexican Dream

7/21 - Foolish creates Philzavilla and breaks into the prison

7/22 - Nothing much happens.

7/23 - Nothing much happens.

7/24 - MCC, no updates

7/25 - Wilbur and Ranboo make a burger van

---

Upcoming Events:

- Captain Puffy’s Lore Stream

- Wilbur’s 11 planned streams

- Egg Finale Stream

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Ponk’s prequel stream

- Ponk’s current-day lore with Sam

- Puffy’s Lore Cast

- Sapnap’s lore

- Dream’s lore video

- Quackity’s casino opening

[i-spaced-sorry]

#42

If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell and 400 Units

This song is probably supposed to be about cancer, but the first time I heard it last February, I thought of Jay and Hailey immediately.

So I wrote this with the lyrics (below the cut), hope it turned out all right.

It's not the long, flowing dress that you're in Or the light coming off of your skin

The day was not the picture-esc dream little girls fantasize about, but then again, nothing in her life was. She was standing in the courtroom with the love of her life dressed in her best ‘work attire’ while he wore a button up and his signature blue jeans. It wasn’t the picture-esc dream every little girl dreams about but it was perfect to her.

The fragile heart you protected for so long Or the mercy in your sense of right and wrong

She can remember when she first met him. She was a strong willed detective that didn’t believe love existed in the way Hollywood made them out to be. He was the first guy to ignite something in her. From the first case they worked together, she felt like she could follow him blind.

It's not your hands searching slow in the dark Or your nails leaving love's watermark

That night was reserved for passion and romance. Two things 17yr old her didn't think was possible to co-exist together. He made her feel so good in more ways than one that night and she wished they didn’t have to work the next day.

It's not the way you talk me off the roof Your questions like directions to the truth

Being married to her best friend and love of her life is great until secrecy begins, the guy she would follow blind is doing questionable actions at work, and his side of the bed is beginning to feel cold with the lack of his presence. But he isn’t too far gone to forget to let her know that he still loves her.

It's knowing that this can't go on forever Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone

He too soon wakes up and becomes self aware with what he is turning into, what he is becoming. He hates it and decides to find direction in a new career. He knows this hurts her, but knows in the long run it will help.

Maybe we'll get forty years together But one day I'll be gone Or one day you'll be gone She throws herself into her work, thinking that the 8 months will go by faster that way. Soon she finds herself not going home and barely getting any sleep. She imagines it would be easier that way, but all she sees at work is his empty chair across from her desk. Waiting for him to come home.

If we were vampires and death was a joke We'd go out on the sidewalk and smoke

She begins to think about the what if’s of the situation. What if they had a different career. What if they met in high school? Would he even be friends with her if they met in high school? She was a loner kid, who used school to escape her toxic abusive household and he probably used sports for the same thing, if any of the conversations about his dad had anything to go off of.

And laugh at all the lovers and their plans I wouldn't feel the need to hold your hand

She finds herself feeling the parallels of their relationship in everything she does. Like when she grabbed the coffee from the center console with her non-dominant hand. She is reminded of the time he stole her coffee and drank it. She just wishes she could feel the parallel from the night he proposed, when she sat on the couch and he came walking in the door and she looked up.

Maybe time running out is a gift I'll work hard 'til the end of my shift

Overtime, working the Sean case, and working with the other officers in the unit kept her busy which she was grateful for. She felt that if she threw herself into her work, maybe she’ll also find herself just like he is. So when he returns they can be more in sync.

And give you every second I can find And hope it isn't me who's left behind

When the team finally wraps up a new case they were working on, she finally decides to go home, if nothing else to just fall into bed. But when she walks through the door, she feels like she is hallucinating. Dancing while cooking in the kitchen, with his back towards her is her guy. He came back for her. He didn’t lose her, while trying to find himself and the wait was worth it.

[missnight0wl]

OK, new theory I've come up with: so JC seems to have made the Eye of Ra the symbol of R, which is ridiculous, but let's just accept it for the sake of this theory. Let's assume that all the pins that R's members wear are cursed/ enchanted and that whoever wears one has to follow the will of the one person who can control all the pins, which is the father. Note that he doesn't wear a pin himself, just a watermark symbol on his coat. The pins could work in a similar fashion like the Imperius

Curse, only much stronger. That way, Rakepick could have initially wanted to join R as a double-agent, but she didn't know that the pin would have such an effect on her. It would have to have happened before year 4. It is also possible that at times, she was able to resist the influence of the pin and did things that R didn't want her to do, but ultimately the power of the symbol was stronger or bound her in a way that she couldn't escape from. There would have to be an explanation for how the pin affects Verucca as well, but I imagine the more someone is in line with R's interests, the easier it is to control them, and perhaps Verucca never questioned R like Rakepick did. I admit this theory is a desperate attempt at trying to come up with a scenario where Rakepick is not a villain and there are probably some things that can't be explained by it, but at this point I'm willing to accept almost any theory that salveages Rakepick's story. Perhaps MC was the only one who could free her from the influence of the cursed pin by beating her in that duel in the Sunken Vault. Which would mean that Rakepick is now no longer unter the influence of it, but it has left a lasting negative effect on her which cannot easily be shaken off. I also thought the pins could work like the rings of power in LOTR and how they are all controlled by the one ring. It's probably a stretch, but perhaps the idea of the pins having some dark magic power could somehow work? Why did JC make her lose hers?

You know what? It’s not a bad theory. It’s not perfect, and I definitely see some holes. But on the other hand, it has some pretty solid points, too.

Alright, so let’s start with the strengths. And here’s your warning for a little spoiler from Y7Ch37, which will probably be released this week. In this chapter, in the sane route, Rakepick says: “So you say, but 'R' has a way of getting people to do their bidding, even without their knowledge”. And that’s like… exactly what you’re describing. I don’t even really know what to say here, it simply fits perfectly – at least when we look only at this particular line. A pretty strong start for your theory!

Another thing I like is the idea that Rakepick can occasionally resist the pin. It definitely makes sense, considering that she’s a skilled Occlumens. Moreover, in my previous post, I talked about how odd it is that with Duncan, R pretended that it was an accident while Rakepick openly claimed that R wants to kill one of MC’s friends. But Rakepick temporarily gaining some control could totally explain it. She’d still want to make sure that MC knows that R is a bad guy in this whole situation.

And speaking of Rakepick gaining control! It actually reminded me of my very old idea about Y5Ch30. See, before we went to the Portrait Vault, during our last private conversation, Rakepick said this (among other things):

I remember talking with my friend all the way back when that chapter was originally released, and we wondered whether Rakepick possibly referred to, like… her inner battle with the Vault. That maybe her behaviour in Y5Ch30 was influenced by the Vault. However, perhaps it was about the battle with the cursed pin instead?

Now sadly… we have to move to the weaknesses.  And here, the problem is mostly with Y4. Let’s keep in mind that at that point, R allegedly didn’t want MC to search for the Cursed Vaults. So, let’s say that in Y4, R sent Rakepick so she’d make sure that MC stays away from that whole business. And if Rakepick still regained control sometimes, she could use those moments to tell MC that they should keep searching for the Vaults, teach us Arania Exumai etc. Makes sense, right? Well, not quite…

Y4Ch3:

Why would the Red Cloak tell us to stay away from Rakepick? Why bring her name up at all? The only reason why the Father would want to keep MC away from Rakepick is if he knew that he doesn’t have full control over her, and so he suspected she could rebel. But if the Father knew he didn’t have full control, why send Rakepick to Hogwarts in the first place? You know what I mean?

Honestly, it all comes down to the fact that when you really look at Y4, it becomes quite clear that Rakepick and R were in pretty open conflict. This is why the idea of the Eye of Ra being the symbol of R is so damn stupid: because if Rakepick was in conflict with R, why the fuck would she wear their symbol?

Also, Rakepick NOT working for R in Y4 goes along super well with the idea of Merula being the mole pretty much from the beginning. Because if R didn’t want MC to search for the Vaults in Y4, then the Father probably didn’t want it earlier either, right? And notice that in Y1-Y3, Merula was constantly a pain in the ass for MC: trying to mess with them and find the Vaults before them. Only in Y4, after Rakepick arrived, Merula calmed down.

Y4Ch5:

It’s another example of Rakepick acting against R. Seriously, it’s like the Father had NO control over her in Y4. Yet, she always wore her pin.

So, unless the pin was cursed after Y4, I don’t think it could really FULLY work. I mean, I do like the comparison to the rings of power you proposed, but it simply falls apart when it comes to Y4. Still, as I said, the theory has some solid points, so I’m not gonna dismiss it entirely. I guess it’s just hard to come up with something that would leave no plot holes at this point.

Oh, and I do believe that you might be onto something with Rakepick losing the pin after the duel. Personally, I theorised in the past that it might be proof that Rakepick in the Sunken Vault was fake. And to quote my old post where I talked about it: “Rakepick probably leads a rather active lifestyle, being an adrenaline junkie and whatnot, so you’d think that she made sure to somehow protect her pin from getting lost. Right? Besides, look at the events in the Portrait Vault. She was hit by FOUR spells at once and her pin was still there. But after the duel with MC, when she wasn’t even knocked down, it falls off? I don’t know, feels kind of weird. Unless the pin was fake, and therefore not adjusted to more extreme conditions…”. It’s rather unlikely that it might be true anymore… But I agree with you that it doesn’t seem to be a coincidence in general.

Also, a couple more things that are mostly my nit-picking, but I still want to mention them. While Rakepick wears her pin all the time in the game, I imagine that she took it off for sleeping, showering etc. How would it work with the control thing? Would those be her conscious moments? But then, wouldn’t she realise eventually that she doesn’t have to put the pin back on?

Another thing: Shiratori, interestingly, doesn’t wear the symbol in any form. Would it mean that he believes in R so blindly that he doesn’t need control? Of course, his symbol might be hidden, but… Let’s be real: it’s probably further evidence that the Eye of Ra wasn’t originally connected to R, but it was unique for Rakepick and Verucca only.

Anyway, I suppose that’s finally all that comes to my mind. Usually, I’d say that the “Imperius Curse” (or just mind control) explanation feels pretty lazy. But here, I do understand your desperate attempt. And hey, I probably wouldn’t be terribly mad if it turned out to be true, to be honest. Is it the best Rakepick’s story deserves? No. But it’s something.

[darter-blue]

And now for some stucky fluff...

Read it here on ao3

Or part one, two, three, four on tumblr

Bucky’s sense has left him. It left him somewhere back on the dance floor. Maybe even before then.

It’s entirely possible that in fact he’s never had any.

He spent too long talking at Steve about particles… about soulmates… about whatever it is that's happening between them. And by some miracle, Steve is still listening, still looking at Bucky like he’s interesting, like his words mean something. And Bucky needs to harness that. Needs to grab at it before it slips through his fingers.

So he quits his yapping. He grabs Steve and he pulls at him again, marvels at the complete lack of resistance there, at the way Steve just follows him. When he dares to look back over his shoulder, Steve is still there, still staring at Bucky as if he is something wondrous. Somehow not tripping, or faltering, despite not watching at all where he’s going and or paying any kind of attention to the people or the noise or the chaos of the casino around them.

Steve’s eyes are only for Bucky.

Even as Bucky pulls them through the garishly painted doors. Even as Bucky leads him into madness.

Bucky turns away from Steve to face forward, to push clear of the doors and let them swing closed behind them.

It’s much quieter in the chapel.

Bucky sweeps his eyes from right to left and takes in the pastel pink walls, the blue ribbons along the pews, the couple chatting at the top of the aisle. One dressed as Elvis - white jumpsuit and cape, big hair, sunglasses, guitar flung over one shoulder, not slim, but filling out that jumpsuit nicely all the same - the other wearing a hot pink t-shirt that reads ‘we will wed you’ in white lettering across the chest and a fifties retro polka dot skirt.

They both look up as Steve and Bucky enter.

‘He-ey,’ the man dressed as Elvis says, smile and eyes widening as he looks past Bucky and up and up to Steve, then back down and up again. One eyebrow raising in slight disbelief, no doubt, at the existence of such a perfect being.

Bucky can’t blame him.

‘Welcome, welcome!’ the woman in hot pink says, coming forward, arms outstretched, ‘hello boys!’

‘Hello,’ Bucky says, smiling at her exuberance, and her very excellent blond bee-hive up-do, and slows to a stop about halfway down the aisle.

‘Ma’am,’ Steve says, affability dripping from the buttery smooth tone in his voice, coming to a stop on Bucky’s right.

‘Oh, you two look like a match made in heaven!’ the woman says, stopping a few feet from them, she holds up her hands and makes a frame with her fingers, placing Bucky and Steve in it and looking through at them with one narrowed eye. ‘Oh yes. Beautiful, beautiful.’

‘Uh…’ Bucky starts, and falters. At a loss for exactly how to proceed.

He looks up at Steve and Steve looks down at him with an encouraging smile, slides an arm around Bucky’s waist and squeezes him closer.

‘We umm… do we have to make an appointment?’

‘You two?’ the woman says, eyeing them both up and down, ‘no appointments necessary, come come come.’ She spins around and starts heading towards Elvis, checking back to make sure Bucky and Steve are following her, ‘Come with me, I’m going to take care of everything.’

‘Okay,’ Bucky says, looking up and Steve and shrugging his shoulders.

Steve laughs and squeezes Bucky tighter, walking them down the aisle together. ‘How do you make everybody fall in love with you like this, Buck?’

‘Me?’ Bucky says, laughing and shaking his head at Steve. As if Steve has no idea of the kind of magnetism he’s exuding. The uncanny resemblance he has to a greek god.

‘Yes, definitely you,’ Steve says, ‘People are never this easy with me.’

‘I am,’ Bucky says truthfully. Everything about Steve screams home to Bucky. Screams safety and happiness. Bucky couldn’t be anything but easy with him.

‘Yes you are,’ Steve says softly. Squeezing Bucky again. He’s going to have to stop doing that, it's so warm, his arm is so strong, his hand is so big, Bucky feels encased by him. It’s dangerously addictive. Bucky wants to lean into it and let himself go.

But, actually, why can't he? This is a chapel, they are about to leap into the craziest decision Bucky has ever made in his life... So Bucky does lean into it. Lets his side press into Steve, lets them fit together like a solved puzzle.

‘Okay boys, we have some forms, we have some catalogues,’ the woman says, gesturing them into a room off to the side of the chapel, ‘I need you to put your decision making hats on, okay? We have about thirty minutes before the next couple comes in and I want to slot you right in, yes?’

‘Okay,’ Bucky and Steve say together, nodding their heads.

‘Good, good. So take a look over these, sign them, pick your rings and I’ll charge them all to your room. You’re staying in the casino right?’

‘Yes,’ Steve says, moving forward before Bucky can answer, ‘Charge it to my room, please.’

Steve starts pulling out his wallet, shows his identification and takes the pen the lady offers him, and Bucky watches with a sort of fascination, as Steve becomes completely in control.

‘Steve Rogers,’ the woman says with a smile Bucky doesn’t understand. Knowing, familiar. ‘I’m Mavis, it’s so lovely to meet you.’

‘And you,’ Steve says. He opens his arm out to Bucky to gesture him forward, and slides it around Bucky’s shoulder when he gets close enough. ‘This is Bucky.’

‘James Buchanan Barnes,’ Bucky says, holding out a hand for Mavis to shake, ‘pleasure to meet you, Mavis.’

‘Oh well you are just the sweetest thing,’ Mavis says with a chuckle, her cheeks blushing, ‘absolutely adorable.’ She pushes a catalogue towards Bucky, ‘Find your rings, darlin’ while Steve here fills out the paperwork. I just need some signatures from both of you and I’ll set up everything with Larry over there,’ she points to Elvis who waves back at them from the altar, ‘while you pop out and find yourselves a witness.’

‘Can’t you be our witness, Mavis?’ Bucky asks. He doesn’t want to unpack the kind of recklessness that it takes to be getting married in a seedy casino wedding chapel and needing to nab random strangers to be their witnesses.

‘Oh of course I will, darlin’ boy, but you need two. And Larry is the officiator, he can’t be a witness I’m afraid.’

‘It’s no problem,’ Steve says, looking up from the paperwork and handing Bucky the pen, ‘You sign these and pick out the rings, Buck, I’ll go grab somebody.’

‘Ahh... sure,’ Bucky takes the pen and watches as Steve takes off on a mission, ‘I’ll just… pick out my wedding ring from this plastic catalogue…’

‘Okay,’ Mavis says, bustling about in the small room and not watching Bucky at all, ‘Here are your complimentary t-shirts,’ she pulls some material from a storage box under the counter, ‘here is your album,’ Mavis plonks a hot pink vinyl photo album right next to Bucky’s ring catalogue, ’and here’s your notepad.’

‘Notepad?’ Bucky looks at Mavis and then down at the small notepad, blue and pink and with a vegas sign as a watermark in the background.

‘You might want to jot some quick vows down, honey.’

‘Oh.’

It occurs to Bucky, as he looks down at his coloured notepad, at the ring catalogue on laminated sheets of pink paper, at the t-shirts Mavis has put down for them on the counter, that this is perhaps a terrible mistake.

And then he looks a little closer at one of the rings on the last page… plain white gold (plated, he’s guessing) flat bands with an inscription on the inside that reads, ‘For we are but two halves, together whole’ and wonders if in fact it's the opposite of a mistake.

What if this is fate?

‘Bucky, I found somebody,’ Steve comes tearing back into the chapel followed by a dazed looking man, wide eyed and smiling, looking up at Steve as if he just met the messiah. ‘This is Scott.’

‘Hi Scott,’ Bucky says, dragging the man’s attention away from Steve, ‘thank you so much for doing this.’

‘Are you kidding?’ Scott says, beaming back up at Steve, ‘for this guy? Anything.’

He looks starstruck - Bucky can totally understand where he’s coming from.

Scott is absolutely bouncing on the balls of his feet, ‘You are a lucky guy, Bucky.’

Bucky looks at Steve, who is looking worriedly between Scott and Bucky, reminding Bucky momentarily of a confused puppy, and has to wholeheartedly agree.

‘You still sure about this, Buck?’ Steve asks, puppy dog eyes kicking into full gear.

Bucky can’t help but smile. ‘I um… found these I sort of like,’ Bucky says in lieu of an answer, pointing to the picture of the rings on the laminated page, ‘what do you think?’

Steve looks down at them, at the inscription decsribed underneath the picture and looks back up at Bucky with the softest, sweetest smile. ‘They look perfect.’

‘Yeah? You think so?’

‘I do.’

And Bucky’s heart melts. He feels the warmth of it spread right through his chest.

‘Perfect!’ Mavis cries, swooping in to grab the catalogue and disappear into the chapel, yelling back ‘get yourselves to the altar boys!’

‘I guess we ah… head out there?’ Bucky gestures over his shoulder with his thumb, to the altar, ‘let me just um…’ he jots down a few lines and then rips the page off and hands the notepad to Steve, ‘for your vows.’

‘Ahh…’ Steve looks adorably terrified at the notepad Bucky has just handed him and looks over at Scott who is smiling at both of them now.

‘You guys look good together,’ Scott says, grabbing them both around their biceps and pushing them together, ‘this is really special. Thanks for letting me be a part of this, Cap.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Steve says, calm but bemused as Scott’s hands keep squeezing.

Bucky looks up at Steve and then back at Scott who almost seems to be tearing up.

‘You guys know each other?’

‘I wish,’ Scott says, shaking his head with a laugh, ‘what a dream this night has turned out to be.’

And Bucky can’t help but laugh. It’s just crazy enough to be perfect for this evening. ‘For you and me both,’ Bucky says. And Scott squeezes his arm a little tighter. ‘We even have this t-shirt for you.’

Scott takes the t-shirt Bucky offers him reverently. ‘Viva las witness,’ he says with awe. ‘This is amazing.’

‘And for you, sir,’ Bucky says, handing one to Steve.

‘Thank you, Buck’ Steve says, standing back from them both to pull off the button down he’s wearing.

Bucky can’t stop the gasp that escapes as Steve’s shirt slides down his arms to reveal the wide expanse of chiseled porcelain perfection underneath.

Steve smiles at Bucky’s no doubt slack jawed expression but Bucky can’t look away. It’s… a lot. IKt’s more muscle than Bucky has ever seen on a real live person. Toned and smooth and carved out of marble.

What is Bucky getting himself into?

Steve is pulling the pink ‘groom’ shirt over his chest and down over his washboard abs and Bucky has to hold his hand back from reaching out to touch him, to slip his fingers under the soft material of the t-shirt.

‘Your turn, Buck,’ Steve says, staring at Bucky with one eyebrow raised, handing him the blue shirt.

‘Uh-uh.’ Bucky shakes his head. 'Nope, not after that,' he waves his hand in the direction of Steve's chest, 'no thank you.'

'Buck?'

'I don't look anything like that.'

'Nobody looks anything like that,' Scott says, his eyebrows still at his hairline.

'Scott, could you give us five minutes?'

'Yeah, I'll just…' Scott backs out of the room and towards the altar, 'let me choose you some music. Be right back.'

'Bucky,' Steve steps closer as Scott disappears, 'you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.'

Bucky lets him closer, but doesn't move.

'But this,' Steve puts his hands to his giant pecs, nearly breaking through the t-shirt, 'this is not what makes me, me.'

'I know,' Bucky tucks his hair behind his ear, nodding his head 'I know that.' He does know that. But it’s hard to not be intimidated by his perfection.

'And as beautiful as you are,' Steve says, reaching out to take Bucky's hand and hold it, put it up against Bucky’s chest, 'this isn't what makes you, you.' Steve presses the finger of his free hand against Bucky’s forehead. 'This is, Buck. This is you, yes?'

'Yes.' And it’s true. He forgets that sometimes but it’s true.

'And it's amazing, you're amazing.'

'I am?' Is he? Bucky doesn’t feel amazing. He feels like he’s just scraping by most of the time.

'You are.'

Steve is looking down at him with so much affection, Bucky knows it’s not a line. It’s what Steve really thinks.

'You are too,' Bucky lifts his own free hand to touch Steve's forehead, 'you're so lovely.'

Steve leans in as Bucky traces his hand down to his cheek and rests his forehead against Bucky's. 'You don't have to wear the t-shirt, Bucky,' Steve says softly, running his hand through Bucky’s hair, 'You don't ever have to do anything you don't want to do.'

Steve's hands on him are like a balm. They radiate care and calm, and they speak Steve's truth.

Bucky’s insecurity washes away. He wants to be part of this. He wants to be all in. 'I do want to wear the t-shirt,' Bucky whispers, 'It's cute.'

Steve laughs and almost snorts. 'It's perfect for you.' Steve nods. 'Want me to give you some privacy?'

'No,’ Bucky doesn’t want Steve to go anywhere. ‘No I want you to help me.’

Bucky takes Steve’s hands in his own and places them gently at the hem of his t-shirt - faded and worn and washed too many times, all the more comfortable because of it.

Steve slides his hands up under the hem and over the bare skin above Bucky’s waistband, dragging the tips of his fingers across Bucky’s stomach. Bucky breaths in a sharp gasp of air as Steve’s thumb runs over his hip bone.

‘Gorgeous,’ Steve sighs the word, his breath on Bucky’s lips, he’s so close.

Bucky lifts his arms to let Steve run his fingers up further, taking the material of the shirt with him and lifting it slowly over Bucky’s head. He runs his hands back down Bucky’s chest, fingertips burning into Bucky’s skin, charged and electric.

They slow at Bucky’s stomach, sliding around the smooth, slightly rounded softness of Bucky’s waist to settle on his hips, rubbing circles over the bone with his thumbs.

‘Beautiful,’ Steve whispers, ‘you’re perfect, Bucky.’

‘Thank you,’ Bucky whispers back. Not because Steve has said it, but because he’s made Bucky believe it.

Steve’s nuzzles closer, reaching up to kiss his lips against Bucky’s forehead, Bucky settles his hands on Steve’s chest, up to Steve’s shoulders and around his neck-

‘Showtime boys!’ Mavis says, bursting into the room and then throwing a hand over her eyes as Steve and Bucky jump apart, ‘Oops! Sorry, but you need to get your sweet little butts out there, we’re running out of time.’

‘Yep, sorry, sorry,’ Bucky grabs for the blue t-shirt, ‘Elvis said we do’ plastered across the front in bright pink lettering, ‘coming right out.’

‘Better late than never,’ Mavis says with a wink to Steve and Bucky laughs at the blush that creeps into his cheeks.

‘Shit,’ Steve writes quickly in the notepad as they both hustle out to the altar, Scott off to the side pairing his phone with the sound system as ‘Fools rush in’ starts up over the speakers and Larry-Elvis smiles down at them as they move into position on either side of where he stands a step above them.

Steve tucks the notepad into his pocket and shuffles his feet. Bucky stands straight and reaches for his hands, pulls them into the space between them, holds them there, safe between Bucky’s own.

‘Welcome folks,’ Larry-Elvis drawls, ‘We’re gonna keep this short and sweet, I as a certified official in the state of Nevada, do preside over these two young men, to bring them together in holy matrimony-’

Steve catches Bucky’s eye and bites his lip. Bucky can only look back and try and keep from vibrating out of his skin.

‘-James Buchanan Barnes, did you have some words for Steve,’

‘Ah, yep…’ Bucky says, grabbing the torn out page from the pocket of his jeans, ‘Ah, Steven-’

‘-Grant,’ Steve says quietly.

‘Steven Grant Rogers, somehow it feels like I’ve known you forever. Somehow I feel like tonight I have met the kindest, most wonderful man in the world.’

‘It’s so true,’ Scott says quietly from behind them, and it makes Bucky smile.

‘Whatever brought us together, whatever force has drawn us to each other… It feels like fate, Steve. I think maybe you’re my person.’

Steve is nodding, smiling, he squeezes Bucky’s fingers.

‘And Steve?’ Larry-Elvis asks, ‘did you have words too, son?’

‘Yeah I…’ Steve doesn’t reach for his notepad, he looks at Bucky and squares his shoulders, lifts his chin, ‘James Buchanan Barnes, my heart knows you. However our particles have danced together through time, I found you here and now, and I’m going to hold on for as long as I can-’

‘Oh, god,’ Scott sobs behind them.

‘-I think you’re right about fate, Buck, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life, just being a part of yours.’

‘Beautiful!’ Mavis cries, running over with the rings, ‘Rings boys, time to wrap it up.’

Bucky has to smile at the chaos, at Steve’s face as he bites his cheek and tries not to laugh. He checks back at Scott to see him taking video of the ceremony and hopes that he can watch this in the morning, sober, and remember how light his heart is right now.

‘That was beautiful, Steve-Steve Rogers,’ Bucky says leaning in to whisper.

‘You’re beautiful,’ Steve says back and they smile at each other like idiots as Mavis hands them their rings and the song fades out on Elvis singing about falling in love. It couldn’t be more perfect.

‘You may kiss the groom, fellas,’ Larry says with a sweeping hand, ‘I now pronounce you husband and husband.’

And all of the noise fades away around them as Steve steps in, brings their joined hands up to their chests and reaches down to rest his lips against Bucky’s.

‘May I?’ he whispers against Bucky’s mouth.

‘Fuck yes,’ Bucky whispers back, and Steve laughs as he closes that last tiny distance, presses his warm lips softly to Bucky’s and opens them just enough to fit their mouths together.

The tenderness of it has Bucky in freefall.

He sighs into the taste of Steve’s lips, the luscious sweep of them against Bucky’s, and Steve has to let go of Bucky’s hands to reach around and grab him, take Bucky’s weight where he has dropped into Steve’s hold, pressing deeper into the kiss as he does, opening wider to it, gently nudging his tongue against Bucky’s and Bucky pushes back, licks softly into Steve’s mouth, sucks at the plumpness of his bottom lip, reaches his hands up around Steve’s neck and holds on.

The bang of the confetti canon has Steve snapping back up to standing, pulling Bucky with him and wrapping his arms around him, as if to shield him. Looking up and then back at Bucky as the coloured paper rains down on them.

Bucky can't help huffing a happy laugh at his husband. His husband.

‘Congratulations!’ Mavis and Larry-Elvis and Scott all cry from around them, but Bucky’s world is all and only Steve right now. The crystal clear blue of his eyes, the rose of his cheeks, the sharp nose and pink lips, and the look of absolute adoration on his face.

‘Wanna get out of here?’ Bucky asks.

Steve smiles even wider, ducks his head to kiss Bucky again, slow and soft and sweet and whispers into Bucky’s mouth, ‘I do.’

It’s perfect.

[sweetjekyll]

Under The Same Roof, part 1 — BBH

pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

genre: Roommate / Flatmate AU, one-shot, friends to lovers rating: teen and up warnings: none! tiny bit of fluff if you squint your eyes really hard word count: 1.2k 

summary: Baekhyun and Y/N have been flatmates for a while and romance is in the air.

Requested by anonymous: keyword “roof” + sentence “Oh my God. You’re in love with her.” from this writing game post.

Masterlist — PART 2

A/N: this was supposed to be a drabble, but I told you I couldn’t contain myself once I reached the 600 words I went over lol. this may as well have a part 2 if many people request it, but for now I left it as it is cause I like the suspense. I edited the pic for this but I didn’t add a watermark, it took me a while to find something that sparked my imagination.

⟶ To my dear readers: feedback is highly encouraged and important! as it gives me motivation to write with more passion, knowing that you like what you are reading. Please LIKE and REBLOG so more people can find this and read it. ❤ My askbox is always open for questions or to chat ❤

Enjoy! ❤

You and Baekhyun have been flatmates for about a year now, he needed someone to help him pay rent after his previous flatmate moved in with his girlfriend last minute and you needed a roof over your head since you didn’t want to live in the dorms at your university… Too expensive. The apartment on the other hand wasn’t anything luxurious either, just a two bedroom, one bathroom and a combined kitchen and living space area, enough to house 2 people, even if it wasn’t exactly that cheap yet quite affordable.

Baekhyun was trying to save money from his full-time job as a barista and bartender in the local university cafe, serving coffee by day and alcohol bar by night, meanwhile you were a majoring student who was mostly focusing on her studies but worked part-time at the same cafe Baekhyun did. It had its perks choosing you as flatmate, Baekhyun already knew you were a good person and that you were in need of a place to stay, plus you got along well on the job too. It’s not like you could exactly sleep over at one of your friend’s places forever so when he offered to take you in you accepted without second thought.

But boy, oh boy, was Baekhyun ever the loud type; some days you thought you were going to march out of your room and smack him on the head cause you could not concentrate on your textbooks while he was playing games with his friends, others you actually joined him when you two were alone. As loud as he was, he was also a sweet introverted guy with a tendency to be a social butterfly despite his reserved nature, in fact, you were surprised to meet so many of his friends you could barely remember all of their names. Two hands weren’t enough to count them all.

You considered him a close friend, after all, you were living together under the same roof, Baekhyun was there for you when you needed a friend and you were there when he wasn’t feeling like going outside to meet with anyone else. He wasn’t sure when or how it happened, but at some point he started liking you more than just a friend. He liked everything about you, from the way you bickered about the smallest of things in the apartment such as not leaving dirty mugs in the sink after breakfast, the way your voice was barely above a whisper in the mornings with pouting lips and sleepy eyes, the way you smiled at him after a long tiring day of classes and work, the way you sometimes managed to keep up with his high energy, your friendly and caring personality… Only a few times has he truly seen you mad like a beast, but thankfully it was never directed at him.

Baekhyun was sitting crosslegged on the brown two-seater in the living room, playing some shooter multiplayer game on the PlayStation with some friends of his you’ve met before plenty of times, Chanyeol and Sehun. You let out a quick sigh as you hurried across the living area from your bedroom to the front door, dressed in your work attire, you scurried to put on your shoes. “Okay, I’ll be at the bar the whole night,” you said as you grabbed your coat, ready to walk out before you were late. “Have fun, don’t wait up for me.”

Baekhyun’s eyes quickly moved from the television screen as he paused the game, earning groans and scowls from his friends sitting on the rug with each their back pressed to the sofa. “I’ll come pick you up, just call me when you close down.”

You smiled at Baekhyun’s offer and pointed a finger at him playfully. “I swear if you fall asleep, Byun Baekhyun—“

“Promise I won’t.” He held out his right pinky finger for you and you moved closer to close your pinky around his, a small gesture of friendship you came up with when you once came home a bit tipsy from a night out with all your friends.

“Alright, good night. Bye Sehun, bye Chanyeol!” And just like that you closed the front door after yourself as you went to work.

Chanyeol exchanged a silent yet teasing look with Sehun but it didn’t last long as Baekhyun unpaused the game to resume from where they left. “Dude,” Chanyeol begun after a few minute of resuming the game, he wanted to make sure that you weren’t going to come back for something you forgot, “are you two like… Together?”

“What!?” Baekhyun exclaimed, but he got distracted from the question and barely safe one of his opponent taking down his character. “Me and Y/N? No, we’re just friends.”

Sehun put down his controller and turned his torse to look up at his older friend. “But you like her, right?”

Baekhyun had to pause the game again quite annoyed and this time looked at the two guys sitting on the floor. “We’re just friends.” He stressed on the last two words. He couldn’t really hide it, they could hear the disappointment in his tone even if he was trying to not give it away. “Nothing more.”

“Oh my god.” Chanyeol’s eyes widened, he too discarded the controller on the coffee table and turned his whole body to face Baekhyun from his spot. “You’re in love with her.”

“I’m not!” Baekhyun scoffed as he tried to resume the game but Sehun snatched the controller from his hands, holding it away while his friend protested with a whine. “Okay! Fine! I am head over heels for her.” He confessed as his body slumped against the backrest. “I just don’t want to ruin the friendship we have if I ask her out on a date.”

“You’ve been grocery shopping together, buying clothes and furniture, all of our friends think you’re together.” Sehun pointed out as he got up from the floor and sat on the two-seater next to Baekhyun. “You act like a couple any time you’re in the same room.”

“So why didn’t you guys say anything?” He asked seriously confused. Yes, you and him got along very well, but he didn’t think you were getting along too well in the eyes of your group of friends.

Chanyeol shrugged. “Cause we thought you wanted to keep it private until you felt like telling us.”

Sehun laughed softly, earning a glare from Baekhyun since he didn’t know what was going on in the head of the younger guy. “So that’s why you haven’t shown any PDA! I was almost beginning to admire your self restraint from kissing her or holding her hand when you’re in public.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun slapped him on his chest, earning a pained chuckled from Sehun. “Look, it’s just that I don’t know how to tell her…”

“Just ask her on a date,” Chanyeol said while giving one of Baekhyun’s knees a soft slap. “If you don’t I’ll ask her for you. Who knows, maybe she reciprocates your feelings?”

“That’s a strong maybe.” Baekhyun shook his head as he reached forward to grab his controller from the coffee table.

“I’m pretty sure she reciprocates.” Sehun added as he too turned his attention back on the game, meanwhile Chanyeol just smirked as his brain devised a plan. It would work out, Baekhyun and you just needed a little help from Cupid.

[yichens]

pingxie thoughts (and prayers) bonus 2/2

continuation for this post where i try to make sense of all the visuals offered to us in the amazing bazaar photoshoot. had to divide the bonus part of this series into two bc of the amount of photos and my own tendency to write novels (even while excluding the video clips). hopefully these can offer you all at least something (more than just an eyeroll at my pretentious poetry). 

side note: the photos from the digital magazine (the ones without a watermark) belong to @/thosch3i who i very much want to thank you for all the updates and translations ♥

The Bazaar Photoshoot – Future Dream

As stated in the first part of this “analysis”, the theme of this photoshoot was the Pingxie ten years reunion. I already managed to get through the “ideal reality” photos, so now it’s time to delve into the “future dream” in the remaining ones. These seem to offer a deeper look into Pingxie’s actual relationship during the reunion and how their past and future meet in that moment. 

(placing under cut bc this gets long with all the photos!) 

These photos really challenged me to think outside the box. Bc the obvious answer would’ve just been me screaming “Pingxie married!” on top of my lungs but that’s not really something I’m aiming at quite yet. So I decided to call this pile of photos “the (future) dream” instead, which I think suits it quite well. Just let me try to explain why. 

Beginning with these two teaser photos where we first see their matching rings and then their matching necklaces. A lot of eternal promises and unbreakable bonds and soulmate symbolism here (my left brain: but Pingxie married!!! me: shush, not now). I feel like these photos in general show many of those themes, try to catch their bond and the deepest essence of their relationship. This is some type of core, them in their purest form, far outside of actual reality now.

The black and white colors make these photos feel even more like they’re part of a dream or a fantasy or a memory almost. Maybe it is about the things they now have and the things they have lost. Maybe it’s black and white bc things have changed but they still want the same things; they still have their bond and things still make sense. (Maybe I sob about this bc I’m just so weak and Pingxie soulmates, it’s confirmed now!)

Also gotta mention here – bc I will allow myself this one moment of gushing – that Pingxie in black and white, ZSX and XYL in these suits (both suits), is sinful. Absolutely sinful. But also stunning. And so soft. And well, what else could be more symbolic than making Wu Xie wear white and Xiaoge wear black? Tho I think that together, they have always been turning a bit gray. (And how many times did I read that as “gay”? Which,,, still true but. Not the point here.)

At this point am also fighting against my urge to talk about the video clip that dropped with the weibo update on the 1st of March and all the hand action we got in that. Bc I just loved how they played with each other’s hands and the snow and kept looking at their hands together in that clip. It felt like an inaudible love confession. And maybe these photos are just that; a voiceless, wordless way to say “I love you”. Neither of them is good with words anyway and the love is so loud am going deaf. I hope they’re happy. 

But if we forget that video, I want to pay attention to the poses in these photos. They are sitting or lying down together, Wu Xie’s head on Xiaoge’s shoulder, Xiaoge’s face almost buried in Wu Xie’s hair or at least turned his way. It feels domestic. There is nothing but them. There is nothing else to care about in this world than them being together and this closeness they share after all the time without it. It’s what they want; this very intense focus on each other (and if that doesn’t scream love to you then I don’t know what to say). It’s a little bit like the ideal reality I talked about in the previous post but even more intense and somehow so much more open which makes me think about this as a “dream” or at least a fantasy of sorts. 

Then in the two photos above, we again have Wu Xie looking at the camera while Xiaoge is focusing on him. It feels almost like Xiaoge is a prop here, all the focus placed on Wu Xie who is, unlike in that intense photo in the previous post, smiling. Slightly, but still. He looks soft, content, happy. He’s okay to be the center of all this attention bc he knows that it will take it away from Xiaoge (and omg I know yall whine now that such a thing is impossible with XYL’s beauty but just humor me for a bit). He’s so relaxed bc he knows that Xiaoge is content right next to him. (He might also be a bit smug bc he has a man like that but can anyone blame him?) 

I have to note then that, after gushing about their outfits and how good they look in them, there also seems to be a deeper meaning to these suits. Because I don’t think it’s an accident (or a thirst trap) that in these whole-body pictures where they lie in the snow, we see their chests and they’re bare-footed. It feels like this is them being bare in general, open. Their chests show bc their hearts are open, feet are bare bc they are vulnerable (and when you google symbolism for being bare-footed, Wikipedia hits you with childhood and innocence so yes, they are innocent here, pure, like they wish to be). This is them being true and honest with each other, offering all those parts of themselves to the other to look at which they never previously had the courage to show. 

At least that’s true in this dream, in this future they hope will become reality one day. In this future that, for now, ignores all the difficulties and obstacles between them (bc they have a lot of stuff to sort out and then Reboot happens and. Yeah well, the future never goes as you planned anyway).

Sitting and shoes on now, we then have Wu Xie offering this almost angry look to the viewer. He might be sitting slightly behind Xiaoge and lower than him but he’s the one who seems powerful here. Xiaoge looks almost childish (which might be just XYL’s personality showing through lol) and is focused on his own hands, the ground, and his shoes/legs. It feels like this is Wu Xie being the one aware for once, being the one who carries their worries, the one who sits there protecting Xiaoge so that Xiaoge can finally focus on something else. So that Xiaoge can be free and a little careless. That he can focus on himself and what he wants after giving so many years away for Wu Xie and his (at this moment non-existent or at least tainted) innocence. This is their dream; or at least Wu Xie’s dream bc somehow this whole photoshoot seems to focus on him instead of Xiaoge (like I stated before, he seems like a prop sometimes haha). 

In contrast to that thought and the previous photos, this one actually puts Xiaoge on display tho. He’s at the front, in the middle of the photo, and if you don’t get distracted by Wu Xie’s eyes (hard, I know), then you most likely focus on Xiaoge and get stuck there. It feels intentional, like Wu Xie’s strong protective instinct is somehow left a bit hidden? Behind Xiaoge? Who is usually seen as the protector? Which is interesting imo bc at this point Wu Xie has learned to be very brutal, and in Ultimate Note (and before that), we see him being very fierce when it comes to him protecting those he loves. So this setting between them feels a bit like a dream too, a dream where Wu Xie has been able to pull away a little bc Xiaoge is alright while facing the world again. Xiaoge is not as vulnerable as someone who doesn’t know who he is and who to trust. He has found his place to be.

Then the two photos that confused me the most bc at first they felt like they didn't fit at all? They just felt... weird, even if they look absolutely stunning. Here we have Wu Xie and Xiaoge dressed in their second pair of suits (if these can be called suits?) with Xiaoge in this long cape thing and his arms half bare. Wu Xie’s outfit seems almost too simple compared to everything else he’s worn, and they are both now facing towards the same direction while previously they were either looking at each other, away from each other or, in Wu Xie’s case, the viewer. 

Maybe these pictures were why I finally came to think about these as “the future” instead of just some type of “dream”.

Because in these pictures it feels like they are actually looking towards the future. Especially in this last photo they are both facing the light, side by side, in these clothes that feel almost like they’re… I don’t even know. Purified? Divine? Heavenly? Please excuse my lack of words but this just feels like that, like some kind of final peace where even their clothes are somehow on a higher level. It’s a dream-like future where they both can stand strong and be together forever, finally. (Also makes me think about how we see their rings in these pictures, like a sign of the bond they have formed and the bond they want to form (my left brain again: Pingxie married!!!! and this time am tired of arguing against that).) 

And if we add the other photo up there, where they are slightly turned towards each other, sharing a look almost, it feels like they have decided to go. Like this is a mutual choice of walking forward, some kind of turning point like the last photo was in the previous post. They are going and the future is at their reach and it’s going to be amazing (or at least I believe so, once again, bc they deserve their happy ending).

What are we then left with? With a future that includes them being at peace, being content with each other and the surrounding world. A future that is, probably, more from Wu Xie’s point of view than Xiaoge’s but still so utterly loving for the both of them (bc what else would Wu Xie want than happiness for Xiaoge?). And then if we connect this to the other photos in the first part, this feels almost like that ideal reality coming to life in their future, that closeness and joy and basking in the other’s presence stretched to cover an eternity. It’s so soft and gentle and sweet. Just like Pingxie are always. And I’m not even surprised that their future includes all of this bc what else could they wish for than the final relief of being together?

[inventors-fair]

Color Me Impressed Runners Up!

And here’s to our runner-ups, @misterstingyjack, @starch255, and @wolkemesser! Still no kobolds to be seen sadly, but luckily the cards they did make are pretty sweet.

Gilded Homunculus by @misterstingyjack

First off, while this easily could have had a mana cost, I think leaving it off was the right choice. I don’t see anyone ever casting it as a vanilla 1/1 for 1, and the lack of a mana cost makes it a bit more exciting. I think this does actually want to be a little bigger though, even just a 2/2 (2/2 would be perfect actually, so you don’t have any incentive to morph this for its stats rather than its switch ability). That way, when it switches, the thing you’re giving up is just a little bit more than a 1/1. I think the sacrifice there makes it a bit more interesting. I like how it uses the hidden information aspect of morph though! Having something like this in an environment is gonna make for some interesting mind games. I think those mind games might demand a double blue in that morph cost though, because this is definitely the type of effect that should be a little harder to splash for methinks.

Blazing Blade Bishop by @starch255

I’m not gonna lie, I went into this contest hoping no one would do something like “a white card that only costs white mana that for some reason is also red”. And yet, this ability just works in a way i genuinely didn’t expect. I love that mechanic a lot- it’s like a black border way of caring about watermarks. So good job there. The biggest problem with a card like this, a card that is randomly a color it shouldn’t be based on its mana cost, is that you need a good reason for doing that and it’s hard to think of one. But I think “all the cards that are a part of this faction are both red and white” manages to cross that threshold. Now, onto the card itself. This is a multicolored card. Not just in that it has the color indicator (or equivalent), but in that this is a card you would only play in a deck that’s both red and white. I can’t imagine every card with allegiance is going to be like this because that would make limited hell. An important part of a multicolor set is monocolored cards that multiple decks want. Now, a card like this definitely isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, I think I like what this has going on. That is a strong, but not unreasonable payoff for uncommon. Lorewise, I wish it told me a little more. Nothing about this card, from the flavor to the mechanics, tells me much about the Blazing Blades. Who are they? What do they do? I really wish this card told me a bit more. (Also I don’t know if this needs the color indicator honestly. The frame has you covered aesthetically, and the keyword ruleswise.)

Chromavolver by @wolkemesser

Honestly, the “~ is all colors” text is kind of take-or-leave here. I could see it printed with, but I could definitely see it printed without it too. I think it’s fine though. I like how the X let’s you pick which abilities this has, but how even once you’re not able to spend any new colors you’re still encouraged to pump more mana into it because of the hydra ability. Making it legendary was a good choice, because it would be obnoxious if there are multiple of this thing on the field to keep track of which has which abilities. I will admit, something about the aesthetics of this card throws me off and I’m not entirely sure what. Maybe the way the lines of the third ability all line up like that? Idk. It also should have a multicolor frame if it has the “~ is all colors” text. And it definitely should have been a 0/0 not a 0/1. I like it though!!! It’s a very solid build-your-own-creature.

~~~

Thank you all for your submissions!!!

- @loreholdlesbian 💖

[janekfan]

hi mom! quick update: i had a panic attack at work the other day. luckily my coworker/manager knew what it was and helped me out but i still had to do the rest of my shift but at least i got the next day off. hours are still bad but everyone around me is talking about how proud they are of me... i just barely managed to scrape up a 50 cent raise... im one of three people on my shift... i cant take time off. i know you already did one for me but... i dont have much else to bring comfort

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072691

My darling child! <3 <3 <3 This is inadequate! And I shall do better soon! But I love you and hope this offers a little comfort!

When asked later if he’d known, Tim lied. Of course not. He hadn’t realized just how sick Jon had been, certainly didn’t know how long it’d been. After all, no one really saw him most days, skulking as he did around the archives, a flickering, limping shadow among the stacks. Jon didn’t have use for them and Tim didn’t have use for him. Not until they enacted their plan of attack and finished things once and for all.

So no. When he’d dropped by to toss Martin’s research at him he ignored the pallor, the beads of sweat dotted along his forehead and matting his curls. He paid no mind to the dark flush high in his face, the glazed distance in his eyes, the shortness of his breath as he fought to form one coherent thought. A plea veiled in a request and it gave Tim all the excuse he needed to conveniently forget to fetch Martin for him.

“T’Tim...could, could you ask Martin to, to.” Jon could barely finish a thought. Exhausted, he’d been under so much stress, running himself ragged on adrenaline and awful, terrible statements, and he just wanted to see someone kind. Someone who might help him instead of hate him. Someone who maybe didn’t want to hurt him or kill him. Or worse. “I’d like t’to speak with him? P’please?”

“Sure, Boss.”

Martin wasn’t coming.

Martin wasn’t coming and Jon was miserable. But he didn’t blame Martin for staying away. It was alright. He was probably upset with him or angry or had a hundred other reasons to avoid seeing him and it was fine.

Jon let his cheek collide with the tea-stained blotter and slow tears slipped down to join the other watermarks, the rust traces of his blood. With a thin, trembling finger he connected the scars etched into the surface like constellations, each one tied to a memory; some he remembered, some he’d forgotten, some he wished he could forget. Why the old desk even had this second skin he would never know; it was already damaged and scratched and why bother protecting it when it could never go back to the way it was before? Heaving a shaky breath that didn’t give him near enough air to sustain him, Jon closed his eyes. It would be a lovely thing if sleep restored anything or made him feel anything other than relief for the blissful span of unmeasured time he spent not feeling. Floating, dizzy and suspended here in the dark, so tired it seemed like the room was expanding around him with every hard won exhale, shrinking to crush him with every inhale.

It didn’t seem worth it.

Like he wasn’t worth it.

When Jon was asleep, he drifted along unfamiliar currents, memories that didn’t belong to him or anyone that he knew from hundreds of years ago, from mere months ago. From far underwater he listened to the sounds of the office fade away through a closed door that may as well have been a kilometer away for all the strength he had left. Everyone was leaving for the weekend and he wasn’t able to stand. Everyone was leaving and he wasn’t able to call out, snared in these fathomless depths and sinking fast.

Silence.

Thick. Blanketing. Suffocating.

He was drowning in it. Struggling to breach the surface only seconds at a time to snatch at sips of air and seawater.

The safety lights cast shadows that slipped along the floor like oil, into the cracks, up the walls Jon clung to, casting just enough light to see by and aggravating his head. He wanted to sleep. He needed water and it was how he found himself in the dingy break room leaning heavily on the sink, holding on for dear life as he weathered the salt swells, the tilting of the room and the vertigo swirling up, up, up. The first glass met its end on the floor when it slipped from Jon’s grip and he could have sobbed from the loss, from how hard he’d worked for it only to let it go. The next he cradled close in both hands, sitting at the rickety table and gulping down close to half before coming up to breathe. Cool rivulets trickled down his throat, soaked into the neck of his borrowed tee and he shivered. It was always cool down here. For the documents. Only now he was freezing, longing to fall into the cot, just rest, but it was too far away. He’d never make it as he was. He drank the rest of the water and went through the trouble of a second glass. There were no bottles in the fridge, none in the cupboards. He’d never be able to carry it back to his office. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes. Why was this so hard? Laying his head on folded arms, Jon let the frustration come, shoulders shaking, and when he woke again he forced more water on himself and limped to the doorway.

Which way?

This time, a cough bubbling up in his lungs jerked him out of the deep. It was harsh, painful, and he lost the remaining water in his stomach from the force of it, tasted iron behind his tongue. Groaning, clutching at his aching chest, Jon realized he was on the floor in the hallway. Not even halfway to his goal and he didn’t remember collapsing. His limbs were lead, movement sluggish because of it, and he only managed to drag himself another meter before the spiraling of the corridor forced him to close his eyes. The fever was relentless, sapping him of everything, throbbing in his bones and boiling in his blood. Jon coughed again. The hot, tight tangle in the center of him drew tighter, a noose, instead of giving way and the black lurking at the edges of his vision swallowed the rest of it.

Martin adjusted the blanket in his arms, thinking again that it would have been easier to have put it in his bag for the walk from the train. He didn’t regret his choice though. He remembered how cold it could get down in the archives and Jon looked like he could do with a bit of comfort these days. Maybe being wrapped up in this monster would do it. Shouldering it, he took the narrow stairs, surprised that no one else was here yet. But considering none of them really wanted to do much actual work these days it made sense. Martin got his things situated at his desk, leaving the comforter overflowing in his chair before heading off to start the tea kettle warming. Glass crunched under his shoes and when Martin turned on the light it was clear Jon had dropped it. What was confusing was that he had left it. He wasn’t the most fastidious about his appearance or his surroundings but even he wouldn’t leave broken glass just lying around. WIth a crease in his brow, Martin swept it up, dumping it in the bin before turning off the squealing kettle. He prepared two mugs as usual and the only reason he didn’t drop them upon seeing Jon crumpled up in the hall was because he froze stock still.

“J’Jon?” He abandoned the tea on a desk, skidding on his knees to a stop at his side. “Jon! Oh, no, no. Jon, wake up.” Ashen, burning up under Martin’s fluttering hands, chest stuttering with half breaths. Had he been like this all weekend? Had he been like this before they all left? How did, why didn’t he check on him? Only when Martin slid his arms beneath his body did Jon stir at all, a pitiful sound of pain pulled from between his lips when he was lifted. A halfhearted cough ending in a moan. “It’s alright, Jon. You’re alright. I’ve got you.” He should call 999. That’s what he should do but with all that had been happening, was that the right choice?

“Mmar’in…” He toed open the door to document storage and laid him down, brushed back his curls and took up the cold hand Jon was reaching with. “Ma--” His grip was barely there when the deep, damp coughing jag stole the air right out of him, so strong Martin levered him forward, worried he would choke. Days. Days alone like this. He swept the tears away with careful fingers, traced the shadows like bruises beneath his eyes.

“It’s alright.” He propped him up against the corner, wishing there were more pillows to make him comfortable and pulled away, heart twisting up when Jon whimpered at the loss. “Hush, now. I’ll be back, I won’t leave you.” Quick as he could Martin gathered supplies, medicine for the raging fever, the blanket he’d brought along, a thermos of tea, checking on Jon in his fitful sleep with each trip. He sounded bad, he was having too much trouble breathing and the crackling wheeze was terrifying. The next time he came back it was with a basin of hot water and a towel. He placed it in Jon’s lap, sliding behind him to steady both him and the bowl, gentling him when he startled. “Just breathe, Jon. This, this should help.” The steam rose, bathing his face with humidity and it was probably wishful thinking but Martin thought each breath came a little easier. When Jon coughed Martin pressed a handful of tissue against his mouth, tossing the mess into the bin and letting him curl up against him for just a few moments. He was so warm. Too warm and Martin plied him with paracetamol and tea, as much as he would take before letting him fall back to sleep, smoothing a damp flannel over his forehead and leaving him to rest.

Soft, cool hands, kind, reassuring words. Jon drank them in like a desert after the rain, let them flood him, take away all the fear and loneliness he was holding onto. Martin was here. Martin was helping. Martin was holding him, saying things he didn’t quite understand in a steady voice. He wanted to cry from the relief of it, of having someone, of not being alone and he thought he might have but there was no teasing or threatening. Nothing he did made him hurt more. Everything he did made him hurt less. There was tea and pillows and blankets, warmth to replace the memory of lying on a cold floor and drifting in and out.

But he was gone now. He’d left him alone and Jon wanted him here. Struggling to his trembling legs he gave himself time to steady, limping out of the room and following the familiar voices and latching onto Martin’s. He sounded upset and Jon wondered if it was because of him. Most people were upset with him these days. He heard Basira and Melanie and Tim and he didn’t want to see them but Martin was with them and he wanted to see Martin. Martin with his kindness he didn’t deserve. He was cold. He was shaking.

Tim was yelling.

It made something in him afraid.

It made his chest hurt. It made it harder to breathe. It made him want to hide. And when he became even louder, Jon shrank into himself. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t.

“And speak of the devil!” Tim’s mocking tone rang in his head like a bell. “He shall appear.”

“Tim!”

“I’m. M’Martin? I.”

“What, Boss? What else could you possibly take that you haven’t already?”

“J’just--” Still human enough to want, too much a monster that he wasn’t allowed to have. Tim took a threatening step forward, and Jon forgot what he was going to say in favor of stumbling backwards, falling to the ground and knocking the air out of himself. He clawed at his neck, suddenly completely unable to breathe when Tim stood over him, towering and tall and seconds later Martin was taking up the whole of his horizon. Just Martin.

“It’s alright, Jon. Let’s get you back to bed, hm?”

“W’will you stay?” He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth, the sniggering coming from behind the larger man confirming what he already knew. Martin had already helped him. He had no right to ask for more. But again Martin carried him to document storage and again he placed him on the cot and this time, he stayed with him, wrapping him up warm and safe and tucking his head beneath his chin. Jon shuddered, the aftershocks of his panic and embarrassment still rocketing through him. “Martin...don’t. Don’t feel well…”

“I know.” Martin pet his head slowly and Jon relished it, pressing his ear against his broad chest and listening to the rhythm of his beating heart. He probably wouldn’t remember this anyway, not with a fever like this already making everything so fuzzy, and he wanted, just for a little while, to feel safe. “I’m sorry.” It was nice to hear even though Martin had nothing to apologize for. It was still nice that someone would say sorry to him. Exhausted all over again, the space between blinks stretched longer and longer. “You can sleep, Jon.” But what if he left? He didn’t want him to leave, the thought of it wetting his face and just like before Martin wiped the tears away. “It’s okay, just close your eyes. I’m not going anywhere.”